#that people shouldn’t be feeling good
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MacCready being one of the few companions to not lose affinity if you eat people makes sense when you remember the fungus in Little Lamp Light grew from decomposing bodies. Like the kids weren’t eating people directly but they were eating people adjacent things.
Not to mention how the Lone Wanderer can trick the kids at LLL into buying “strange meat” to eat which is just human so it’s more likely than not they have just straight up ate people so he’s either very desensitized, knows what food desperation can do to people or feels he really has not ground to stand on since he was in the same boat whether he wanted to be or not.
#like everytime I think of little lamplight and MacCreadys backstory it gets more fucked up cause like#children are kinda like not treated as such in fallout due to the nature of the wastes and that leads to such fucked up events#like of all the companions I forget that MacCready really has never like had stability and it sure as hell affects his confusing affinity#gains and loses but also like I just ate a person and that’s wrong but he can’t say cause I bet he found out in cases where the player gave#the kids strange meat what it was and was horrified but feels bad because it was probably the only good meals the kids had their in a while#he struggles with the idea that he knows it’s helped them live and that he enjoyed it#again like there’s always one follower with like a super fucked up backstory and like next to Cait MacCready takes the cake for fallout 4#just for how young he for all this to have happened and the responsibility he had#cause he’s like potentially the youngest next to piper? like he’s 22#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#robert joseph maccready#like he shouldn’t be at the club he should be idk playing madden or cursing at people in a Fortnite lobby#maccready
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Can I be real honest and admit how much it saddens me that Instagram doesn’t even let me check if my friends or mutuals liked a post or story without slapping me with “insights” and how good or bad I’m doing regarding my content. I? Don’t care? God forbid I just want to share drawings or funny stories just for the heck of it . why does everything have to be about your account’s performance.
#pix habla#being a people pleaser and struggling with being good enough makes this worse for me#not right now I’m doing so much better really#but it makes me sad to the point of tears this is all that matters#I miss simpler times when it was just about sharing stuff with friends or people who’d enjoy it#I also made the mistake of opening comments on popular posts and it’s all just ? complaints ? people asking for more and complaining when#it doesn’t cater to what they want#I’m really tired 👉👈 idk#it just feels like keeping up with the algorithm ruins art and even just people’s feelings in general#it shouldn’t be about that#Eugh#anyway I can’t even check who likes my stuff it’s just a number now#a number attached to an analysis about performance and account activity#again… that’s so incredibly depressing#but I digress pffft#:’> I’m ok just had to get that off my chest#it’s been bothering me#I see artists I look up to struggling to stay in the algorithm and it shows their art has suffered for it#it kinda hurts to see it yknow#but again. I digress!!!#-sad shimi dance- Shakira Shakira…
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idk, when i joke/meme in passing about something that happened to hezbollah that has a real potential for shifting the balance of power away from the axis and get told that’s treating it like “team sports” by (genuinely good well-meaning people who I otherwise have a lot of agreement & respect for, not talking about the people who approve of Hamas, Hez, etc.) but then I see footage of the people in Lebanon who’ve actually had to live with the reality of Hezbollah partying & passing around treats in celebration like it’s a tailgate party over the same news, i don’t feel i’m in the wrong
it’s not a game to me, but people often process big serious things—big feelings, big news, etc—through humor. it’s only natural.
and it’s the real impact that it has on people that makes me excited hezbollah is getting it’s shit wrecked. the people who’ve been terrorized by that regime have every right to be glad in the potential of its downfall. so why should i not be glad with them?
#like you can be excessive with it but I feel like I generally stay on the tasteful side of edgy#like i’m not crab raving about nasrallah dying but you won’t catch me telling people they shouldn’t#good riddance to bad trash and all that#idk what to tag this since it’s technically iz/hez not i/p#i/p
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Breaking tumblr by confessing that my findings have me deducing she is bisexual with a preference for men.
#[ 🕷️ ] —— musings#[ 🕷️ ] —— out of character#[ how you say? by comparing her s*x scenes and the trajectory of animation of her kisses ]#[ and other small details like the baby daddy- the fact she’s an abnormality in drow society ]#[ and instead of thinking of this ‘fuck all men’ mindset people think she has ]#[ and comparing it more to like 1800s patriarchies but in reverse ]#[ men like Drizzt and Zak and Gromph and Jarlaxle wouldn’t have garnered their respect or#/disrespect/ if drow men were so displaced ]#[ they still had to fight and die for it but- it’s why drow men are so ruthless ]#[ me defending drow men all the time too.. because listen just because canon says a gender is worthless#doesn’t mean we are suppose to agree. ]#[ when the law says a male infant who’s an hour old should be put to the dagger doesn’t make it any less right ]#[ I feel like the fandom on a whole forgets that. ]#[ it’s like that in canon but it doesn’t make it right same as a Victorian being silenced for her voice doesn’t make it right because law ]#[ anyway i got entirely side tracked bHAHAHA ]#[ hello adhd ]#[ anyway it doesn’t mean that she likes women less just that you know ]#[ she still loves a good di*k down and isn’t repulsive of men ]#[ heck we shouldn’t have to explain this but we all know there are parts of the general fandom and twitter that are biphobic ]
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but
Sky dying was Viktor’s fault and him covering it up was bad actually.
#anti viktor arcane#i like him but the way y’all coddle that man is a LOT#arcane#arcane league of legends#sky young#you can tell me something bad that one of my faves did but I already know#it’s HIS fans that seem to think he’s above any criticism#literally no one is#and having to see over and over again how this Brown woman dying horribly wasn’t on him…#it’s white boy stanning at its most insidious#that would be like me saying jayce killing that boy wasn’t his fault and he shouldn’t feel bad when it was and he should#they were clear parallels#even happened in the same episode#come on now#sometimes good people do bad things it doesn’t make them irredeemable#but they do need to be held accountable
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I’m making a PSA for all my English-as-second-language followers/engagers: stop apologizing to me for your English. Stop apologizing to me for your English. I promise you that you type in English a lot more legibly than I do in any other language. I promise you that you type in English a lot more legibly than some people who have only ever known to speak, read, and write in English. And if they have the confidence to communicate in English regardless of and unapologetic about the quality of it, then so should you!
Also, all of y’all sound great. I have never interacted with a single person in this fandom yet who used English as a non-native language who I couldn’t understand. Y’all are already doing great!
#tryna tell y’all what my spanish teacher is telling me lol#even if it sucks all it needs to be is understood#and as long as the person you are communicating with isn’t a straight up asshole#they ill try to understand what you’ve said—whether the quality is good or bad#but seriously y’all are doing great#makes me wanna work harder at my bilingual status#you shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for achieving something#that many people may not over the course of their lives
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hi fam !!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#mikey welsh#ahhh omg :( i just fumbled so bad socially#and i just need to like. never speak again i feel.#and i’m trying to comfort myself because like. my friend started talking badly about me#and said i only use her to vent which makes me sad because i didn’t think that was true and i try to do sm for her#i made physics study guides for her ; compliment her when she posts ; and post her on my story a lot and always wave to her and talk to her#and i dunno. it makes me sad to think that but i can’t help it; you know? i just need to be alone sometimes and not speak to anyone#and it isn’t like i don’t wanna be her friend ; of course i do but like. it just hurts my heart she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore#and it hurts my heart so bad and i dunno what im meant to do. and yesterday i had a party#and i said a bad joke in front of the wrong people and i just. accidentally embarrassed one of my good friends and i feel so bad#and everyone js went quiet and it’s just. i feel awful and need to be like. beheaded.#and i try to comfort myself like oh it’s okay. today is a new day. but today i feel even worse about it and there’s nothing i can do#to fix this; like on one hand THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX MY BLUNDER!!! but on the other hand; there’s nothing i can do and i have left#my imprint in their minds and it’s so bad. i wish i was like. dead or something; yk? like not even weezer can make me feel better and it#sucks so badly . i wish i could just not think anymore and ignore everything in my life. i just hate myself so badly right now ; and i can’t#even be sure that i’m gonna be better cuz i just lack so much social awareness. i wish#i was more socially aware . i just hate when i get too comfortable. i wish i awkwardly sat in the corner and#didn’t speak to anybody the entire night to spare myself from any awkwardness. i hate parties!! i shouldn’t have gone :(#SORRY FOR THR BENT POST I JS NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE AND LIKE. GET KT OHT YK?#it’s just so. ahhh i hate everything sm rn :( but liek me and the friend joke like that all the time and idk. im just. :( i feel terrible#and i’ve apologized and he said it was okay but embarrassing cuz some ppl looked at him for his reaction#and i dunno. i just feel awful and need to just. focus solely on academics until my brain is fried and i can’t function or something !
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every other video on my for you page is a creator begging people to donate to palestinian families. creators from all sorts of communities are volunteering to sponsor families, using their platforms to spread the word and focus attention. tiktok has problems but it has BY FAR been the loudest about palestine, despite the algorithms best efforts. THIS IS WHY THEY WANT TO BAN IT. because like it or not, tiktok gets information out quickly.
#it’s such an odd feeling#every video i see is a big creator advocating for a family#or personal tiktoks from palestinians themselves.#whats trending is the met gala but every comment is ALL EYES ON RAFAH#yes tiktok is censorship hell but that’s BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE SPEAKING OUT. AND ITS MORE THREATENING TO THE GOV THAN THOSE OF US HERE#i have this odd sense of pride mixed with grief mixed with rage.#people care. people are good and want to help#but they shouldn’t have to in the first place#and our government hates this kindness so much they want to shut it up#gaza#free palestine#palestine#all eyes on rafah#tiktok ban
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I hate workaholics
#no I do understand why you still have work but I wouldn’t lie if it said it hurt a bit#that you were still working on my graduation day#but that’s fine I guess#it’s fine that I am always the second choice when it literally comes to everything#ofc she’s still coming so I really shouldn’t complain#I should just accept it and also accept the lack of meaning I have for other people#I feel like I just lose people in the end because I’m not good enough#or I never was to begin with#my posts
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I want to follow doctors advice but I also don’t want to look lazy in front of my family 🫠
#help#like not only am I chronically ill#but I also caught a sickness on top of it#I didn’t sweep the floors this week because I’m not feeling good#and I had a nosebleed#so I shouldn’t do strenuous work#even sweeping or vacuuming apparently#but my dad doesn’t see it that way#I’m literally over here coughing up phlegm and trying not to have another nosebleed#but sure#let me do chores to make you happy#even though there’s 5 people in this house#and my brother in law does jack shit but eat and play video games#tired of this shit#personal#void screaming#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronic fatigue#sickness
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My only thought was '....good luck' ESPECIALLY if its public 😭😭
Yeahhhhhh I feel like there’s just no way this goes well peace and love but one of those people shares way too much of their personal life online 💀😭
#ask#anon#also I just think you shouldn’t publicize every relationship you have idk I just feel like keeping things private#is good for people who can be triggered easily by public criticism and hate
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Mmph. It’s been a while and I didn’t realize I would still be excessively annoyed/affected by people with negative things to say about my OTP, but I am, I guess.
If it helps to add context, these comments were on a post where an account had reposted (without permission) some sweet gift art of the ship made especially for me, so I may be inclined to take it more personally for that reason. >__>
#I wish big accounts who repost art without permission a very Stop Fucking Doing That#I extra hate it in this case ;; my friendship with the artist is founded on mutual love for one of the charas depicted (Belaf)#she drew my OTP as a super sweet thankyou gift (the full version that isn’t online and was only sent to me has my name and a rat on it ;; )#and now I have to see people reply to it misunderstanding the characters and disliking the ship#i know I shouldn’t care but I’m feeling a little low this weekend so I am affected lol#hopefully I’ll stop caring tmrw#I really want to focus on the joy they bring me instead but I’m feeling a little sensitive#there’s lovely art of them I’ve received this summer as a gift and as a commission and I want to print those pieces out for my bare walls#I’ve received several gifts of them over the last two years. all should go on my wall! need to focus on the good#it just feels so personal and mean when ship criticism is left as a reply to art that was literally drawn for me by my friend as a gift lol#orphan hole tag
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If you can’t be real with me about how you feel and allow me to be real with you about how I feel I don’t want you around me
#can’t stand a ‘good vibes only’ bitch. like that’s just 3 bullshit pretty sounding words for I’m uncomfortable with people expressing 1/2#any emotions period besides all out positivity all the time#if I’m not allowed to be real and honest about my emotions I don’t want it#I shouldn’t have to fake how I feel#I understand not wanting to be around someone being negative and draining all the time#but it’s not even like that. like I should be allowed to say hey I’m anxious can u hold my hand or like express if I need a hug or whatever#‘1/2’ hahah oops sorry went off#I have so much to say about this#ugh#and I want people to be able to express how they feel with me as well#people that are scared of real emotions sketch me out
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Finally deleted MyFitnessPal off my phone for my own personal sanity
#got some memories with that app#at first it was just sitting there bc I couldn’t stop myself from tracking the calories of some things#but after a 13 day streak shit could only get worse so I deleted it#proud of myself#that thing had me in chokehold last year did not want a repeat#tw myfitnesspal#tw mentions of eating disorder#random post#ooc post#kind of vent#???#started to wake up stressed out about what I’m gonna eat and I was like nooo not ts again#was literally restricting myself to 1200 cals a day AND IM 5’7#tw eating issues#sucks when you’re not even underweight so you don’t feel valid#waitttt I was not meant to trauma dump in this post#can we not bring being 2000s model skinny back into being trendy bc why are body types a tend in the first place#I can change fashion but definitely not my body#no bc this world is fucked up why was I scared to die alone bc I wasn’t skinny when I was literally 10#I hate that it’s normalized to praise people’s bodies#like idc if that makes me soft but a girl just living and everyone just talking about how good her body is#why is that okay bc yes it is positive but it also creates so many negatives#like does anyone get what I mean#it’s a compliment but it also makes everyone including that person afraid to be anything but ‘body goals’#idk how to explain it but like imo bodies shouldn’t serve aesthetic purposes#they actually have functions and needs and they allow us to live#tw body image issues#I hate wiead’s too but that’s just because why is everyone’s food so gourmet I literally just slap some butter onto toast lol#late night post
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I think you’re talking about these posts [here & here], I don’t know if there have been others.
I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me I’m pretty sure, so it’s kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasn’t hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.
Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they aren’t always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. It’s when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.
In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didn’t insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didn’t post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.
But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I haven’t vague blogged anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time I’ve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then I’m not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. I’m just expressing that before you go off about how I’m stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you could’ve done was give me an opportunity to try.
#I’m not going to say I’ve handled everything like I should. I feel like usually I try to tag people and include context and pictures so I’m#not trying to be passive aggressive or talk about people behind their back.#I’m not hiding. I haven’t even used the Tommy neg tag and I feel like I always leave things open and - here is my opinion it is not the onl#one or maybe even the right one or - here are my thoughts at the moment of 1am or here is the lore…#I made my alt name and image very clearly still me. I’m not trying to be sneaky or backhanded or insult You for an opinion or call You dumb#and if I have insulted or hurt someone I’m genuinely sorry and didn’t mean to. Something I try to reiterate#as my tone can come across as aggressive#crumbs#hello there#but see how we can have a discussion of -hey flora maybe you shouldn’t be talking about other people without tagging them or going directly#to them and I can be like - yea you have a good point. your right that’s not being respectful to them.#clarifications#thats what I'm really asking for. the respect to see if I am going to be as bad as you assume. give me the benefit of the doubt#I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know all the internet etiquette or slang. this is my first time participating in a fandom#my first time on tumblr. on ao3. the first time I've gotten actual like interactions on things beside like graduation pics#not to plead ignorance as innocence#but I know I don't know everything & am not claiming to thats why I try to leave safe space for people to come respectfully to me#after feeling aggressive backlash and seeing it happen I have since tried to make sure I try to respect other people's opinions#now that doesnt mean that if you just leave an anon in my inbox Im going to respond to it if I have already talked about it.#- okay you disagree. I stated my opinion you've stated yours and if there is no further point to discuss then I might not respond#though I did make this blog to perhaps respond more to things like that since you did take the time to say it the least I can do it respond#(and I cant just send you a direct message if you go anon <3)#uh... anyways didn't mean to leave an essay here oops... hope im making sense to someone :)
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remember when tiberius couldn’t shut the fuck up around high ranking authority figures and immediately got clocked for being a disrespectful egotistical jackass
#cr lb#just something I’m! thinking about!#laerryn would disintegrate this bitch on SIGHT like lmaoooooooo#beau walks in front of the bright queen and calls her a fucking idiot cos she has to rant AT important people#cos i mean hey! yeah shouldn’t be important fuck you!!! like lmao fuck ok let’s all run our mouths cos it feels good#like it’s bad enough your teammates are trying to navigate this but now they have to disarm your fucking vibe cos you don’t give a shit
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