#I’m tired pretending like some people care about me when it’s clear they don’t and I’m tired

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

crying is so fucking stupid like look at me my emotions are coming out of my eyes

[yourbiggestcrybaby]

Just My Type

Billie Eilish x Fem!Celebrity!Reader

No warnings

Billie is stuck at a boring red carpet event but then she sees you. At first she assumes you are just another silly superficial Hollywood celebrity but soon enough she realises you are just her type.

Billie glanced around the event hall, barely hiding her boredom as she tugged at the hem of her oversized shirt. Everything about this charity gala was drenched in glitz and glam, from the sparkling chandeliers to the elegant gowns and tuxedos that seemed almost too stiff to be real. She felt totally out of place, shifting her weight and debating how soon she could duck out without causing a scene.

And then she saw you.

You were standing near the center of the room, laughing and chatting with a small group. Your pink satin dress shimmered under the lights, perfectly hugging your curves, and your hair was styled to perfection, not a strand out of place. Billie’s eyes couldn’t help but linger, taking in the glossy lips, the subtle highlighter, and the aura of confidence you carried as if you were born for this kind of scene.

Her gut instinct kicked in immediately. Definitely a mean girl, she thought, trying to dismiss the weird flutter in her chest. You looked like the type who’d dismiss her in a heartbeat, probably scoff at her clothes, maybe roll your eyes and walk away with a haughty laugh.

But for some reason, she couldn’t stop looking. There was something about the way you moved, the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed. Billie scolded herself for caring, tearing her eyes away and busying herself with the phone in her hand.

She was scrolling through random messages when she heard someone clear their throat nearby. When she looked up, she was hit with the sight of you standing directly in front of her, a curious, open smile playing on your lips. And now, up close, she could see the tiny sparkles in your eyeshadow, the way your cheeks had a natural blush, and—she’d never admit it out loud—the way her heart was suddenly racing for no good reason.

“Hey… Billie, right?”

She blinked, caught off guard. This girl actually knows who I am?

“Uh, yeah.” She shifted awkwardly, suddenly hyper-aware of her slouchy outfit compared to your perfectly put-together look. “And you are…?”

“(Y/N),” you said smoothly, reaching out a hand. Your handshake was warm, firm, and strangely comforting. “I’m a huge fan, actually. I’ve been listening to your music since… well, forever. I’m kind of freaking out getting to meet you like this.”

Wait, what? Billie blinked, caught between disbelief and something she couldn’t quite name. She’d been so ready to write you off as some stuck-up socialite, but here you were, looking at her like you actually cared. Like she wasn’t just some famous face, but a person.

“Oh… cool. Thanks,” she said, trying not to look too flustered. “Didn’t expect someone like, uh… you to be into my stuff.”

You raised an eyebrow, your expression shifting into a look that was both curious and amused. “Someone like me?”

Billie bit her lip, feeling a little embarrassed, but she couldn’t take it back now. She gestured to your dress, your nails, the whole polished, effortless look you had going. “Yeah, y’know. Fancy. All done-up.”

Your eyes sparkled with laughter, and you let out a soft, genuine laugh that caught Billie completely off guard.

“I get it. Trust me, I know I can come off as a little… well, Barbie-ish,” you said with a playful wink. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like a mess half the time. I really am a big fan, though. You manage to put a lot of what I feel into words and that’s pretty rare.”

Billie softened, nodding slowly as she took that in. She was used to people giving her compliments, but it hit differently coming from you. You seemed to get her as unexpected as it was.

She tried to play it cool, shrugging. “Guess we all feel like messes. But, I don’t know, sometimes I just get tired of pretending.”

You stayed like that for a while, talking about everything from music to weird food combinations, telling stories that had both of you cracking up and feeling like you’d known each other way longer than a few minutes. Billie found herself glancing down at her feet, hiding her smile more than once, trying to keep cool.

Eventually, you glanced over your shoulder, a bit reluctant. “I should probably find my friends; they’re probably wondering where I wandered off to.” You hesitated, looking at her with this expression that made Billie’s heart race again. “It was really nice meeting you, Billie.”

And before she could stop herself, Billie blurted out, “Wait! I, uh…” She ran a hand through her hair, a little embarrassed but determined not to let you just walk away. “I don’t wanna be here either. Wanna sneak out? There’s probably a nice spot somewhere where we can actually talk without… all this.”

You grinned, and there was something mischievous in your eyes. “I thought you’d never ask.”

The two of you slipped out of the event hall, Billie leading you down a back hallway she’d spotted earlier. You pushed open a side door, and it led to a quiet garden, empty and dimly lit by a few string lights hanging from the trees. It was quiet, peaceful, and a world away from the buzzing event inside.

The cool night air was a relief, and Billie leaned against a nearby bench, watching as you gazed up at the stars, letting out a contented sigh.

“This is way better,” you murmured, glancing back at her with a soft smile. “Thanks for rescuing me.”

Billie chuckled, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Guess we rescued each other.” She shrugged, feeling a little bolder now. “You’re actually… really cool, you know that? Way different than I thought.”

“Same goes for you,” you said, stepping a little closer, so close she could catch that faint hint of your perfume. “I thought you’d be, like, intimidating or maybe hard to talk to, but you’re just… you.”

Her breath caught, and for once, Billie didn’t have a witty reply. She just looked at you, caught up in the way your eyes reflected the string lights, and realized just how hard she was crushing.

The two of you stood there in comfortable silence, her hand brushing yours accidentally, lingering a little longer than either of you expected.

Maybe parties weren’t so bad after all.

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Ive been imagining this and ik its weird BUT ot8 skz being perv and so obsessed to fem 9th member.. Like they get super jealous and the fem readed being a people pleaser like she cant say no to her friends and cant stand seeing them sad so when the members started to became sexually touchy w her they used that against her and be like "dont u want to see us happy? We've been tired and we just want to relieve some stress.. I thought u can help us.. I guess not" and they pretend to be sad abt it and the reader just felt guilty for not helping her friends so she lets them touch her which led to smut KDNDJFKDJ its weird but idk i die for these kinds of fics

Hands on me?

Warning: Angst, sexual activity, manipulation?

Pairing: polyOT8 x reader.

Summary: Don’t you wanna see us happy baby? They said as they slowly peeled her clothes off.

AUTHORS NOTE: this has been in my requests for a while and I write this when I first started off SO it’s not good at all BUT I’m going to write another one using this same request cause I have another idea AND this was in my drafts for a while so I’m dropping it to clear it.

I hope whoever requested this, enjoys it 🥰

**

"Baby?!" She heard someone call for her from the living room. 

"I'm in here!" She replied. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she was currently wearing shorts and a croptop with no bra on making her look yummy.

She heard a bunch of voices start piling up in the living room meaning that the boys were back home.

A small smile creeped up on her face as she continued to wash up the dishes she had used to cook dinner. She made a big dinner because at the end of the day she was feeding 8 of her boyfriends who were also MEN. 

"Hey love," Han walked into the kitchen. His hair was in a hat and he had his normal hoodie and cargo pants on. "Are you feelings better?" He asked while taking a few steps towards her until he towering her. His breathing was heavy probably from the flight of stairs.

"Mmm, yeah. Just been a long day that's all." She sighed and looked up at him. He had a pout on his face making her coo at how adorable the boy was.

"I missed you," he said in between kisses. 

"Missed you too momo," he rested his head on her shoulder she continued to finish the dishes.Han was always clingy, not more than Felix but it was more than the other boys, that was for sure.

As she finished up she felt His hands slowly wondering around her body then slowly landing on her ass. oh, makes sense. He was horny.

She did love every interaction with her boys, she really did but today she wasn't in the mood at all. She was tired and she had a horrible headache from work. having sex was not on her to-do list but a nap was.

"Do you want me to take care of you?" He whispered in her ear causing shivers to run down her spine. She was sad because she was going to turn him down and she knew how stressed all the boys were, he just wanted have fun.

"Maybe not right now momo, I'm not in the mood," She told him while finishing the last of the dishes and drying her hands. He pouts and lets out a small whimper.

"Have you eaten yet?" She asked him changing the subject.

"Not yet no," he frowned.

"Okay then sit, let me call the other guys to come eat too," She encourage him, "and don't forget to put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket," She tiptoed and gave him a quick kiss before going to the living room to find only Changbin sat while scrolling through his phone.

He was wearing all black and he had his glasses on. His hair was fluffy and curly meaning today he was in the studio all day.

"Binnie?" She walked and sat by him, "what are you doing?"

"Hey baby," he kisses her temple and then her lips, "I was just lacing up my shoes, what about you? How was your day?"

"I'm tired that's all," she pouted, "and my period is coming soon so I'm breaking out!" she exclaimed and crossed her arms causing him to chuckle.

"I mean atleast you look nice," he dropped his shoe and pulled her close to his body, "you look beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, amazing-"

"Okay, okay I get the point," she roll my eyes playfully.

"Hey? Am I not allowed to praise my beautiful girlfriend?" He playfully frowns.

"You are I geuss," she giggled and he couldnt help but pull her onto his lap.

"Then let me praise you huh?" He kisses her cheek and slowly starts moving down her neck. A small moan leaves her mouth.

"B-Binnie, I'm not in the mood, please," she told him.

"Why not? You're always in the mood," he looks confused.

"Not today, just come have lunch yeah?" she give him a peck on the lips and got off him so he could stand up.

"Fine," he huffs. He makes his way to the dining area as she depart6ed and headed to Felix's room

"Felix?" she called while knocking on his door.

"It's open!"

"Hey sunshine, dinner is ready-"

"Hey! no kisses? No hugs?" He frowned and turned around from his desk.

"Oh-" she giggled when she realized and then walked over to him, "Hey lix," she repeated and  gave him a kiss as he automatically pulled her on his lap.

"How's my baby doing?" He asked as his hands wrapped around her waist and he cuddled her body.

"Mm just tired," she sighed.

"Oh my poor baby, should we watch a movie later?" He was craving her. he wanted to spend more time with her because he felt like he had spent so much time with the boys that he was neglecting her.

"Yeah that would be nice but first go get lunch," she forced herself out of his grip but he let out a soft whine due to the lack of touch and well...the bulge that was now very visible through his pants.

"Look what you've done to me," he whined again causing her to laugh at his distraught state.

"Oh oh, you better fix that before you go down,"

"Help me please!" He frowned.

"I'm not in the mood Felix, please."

"Come on pleaseee, it's been a long day. Don't you want to see me happy?"

His eyes were shiny and hungry, it was obvious.

"Fine after dinner," she lied to him so he could get up and he actually believed it.

"Okay okay, I'm running there now!"

He got up from his sit and rushed out the room.

She followed behind him and checked the dining room to see everyone now sitting down including Chan, I.N, Seungmin and leeknow.

She went around to give them quick kisses before returning to her room and changed into just a  huge shirt (that was probably for one of the boys) and underwear.

She turned off all her room lights and entered bed now being able to have a peaceful sleep. A nice, nice qui-

She felt the bed dip and hands wrap around her body. Her eyes open quickly and she saw familiar hands. Chan.

"Channie?"

"Hey babe, I wanted to cuddles," he pouted.

"Fine but no disturbing my sleep," she scolded him and turned so it was easier for him to wrap his arms around her waist.

Her eyes slowly closed once again and she finally thought she was to get some sleep until the door swung wide open and closed quickly, two more people walking in and making themselves comfortable in her bed. Han and I.N. At this point she was so used to it that she just let them stay as they both argued on who was sleeping where.

"Guys if you're going to be in here, you have to be quiet and sleep," She told all of them off. Even if she was getting a little frustrated she scooted up a little so they could all enter the bed.

Not even a few minutes later all the boys were now in her room on her bed piling onto one another under her fluffy blankets. She knew exactly what they wanted when she felt one of their hands massaging her leg.

She let out a sigh, "Such horny dogs!" she groaned.

"Common baby, it's been a long day. Don't you care about us?" Hyunjin teased her in a manipulative manner.

"Just a little fun. Come on please," Han rubbed her leg once more back and forth causing shivered to run down her spine.

"You look good too," Felix complimented her while tugging at her bra strap, "really good." They were basically already peeling her clothes off with their cold ass hands.

She let out a sigh and finally gave in, "F-fine I geuss so," her eyes wonder to Chan who gives her an assuring nod.

//please idk how to write a smut but just imagine the nastiest thing ever happens//

When they were done and the boys were satisfied as Y/n sat on the bed. Her heart was racing from all the action but she was in her own space. Spaced out.

The constant thoughts of the boys using her for their sexual desires made her enter a depressive episode. Yes she enjoyed the sex and the attention but so many emotions were running through her tiny body that she couldn't handle it anymore.

She felt used like a sex toy and the tears in her eyes slowly started to build as she started to breath rapidly. The air in the room getting suddenly thick. Seungmin was in the bathroom running her bath for her after care. The sound of the water falling was the only sort of noise she could hear.

She held her knees against her chest as she tried to calm down. Han's hand wrapped around her waist. As he kissed her temple. "you did so good for us, you know that right babygirl?" he praised but she didnt even notice him in the first place. Her eyes were hazy and completely black and when Han noticed, he gave chan a look. 

"Hey, are you with us?" Chan asked immediately as he pulled up his sweatpants. "Y/n?"

No response.

She was staring at the wall right in-front of her. She felt unloved. She felt tired. She was in pain.

The boys (some of them were still dressing up) all turned to look at her. Her body was still bare and the bruises on her arms were visible.

"Is she going into a trance?" I.N asked panicked. "Chan do something, please,"

"Hey Y/n? Babygirl? It me. Can you hear me?" He walked over to her and grabbed her tiny hands.

"C-channie?" She chocked as She looked up at him. The tears slowly starting to fall.

"Yes my love, it's me. Can you tell me where you are?"

"I'm alone, I'm all alone," she sobbed. "Why am I like this? Why am I so disgusting?" She cried.

"What do you mean Y/n?" He asked shocked.

"I-I want Binnie, I want Binnie now," she said reaching out for him. Changbin did not hesitate. He was right by her side pulling her onto his lap. The rest of the boys understanding what was going on and quickly taking action.

"I'm here princesses, tell me what's wrong," he had no shirt on and the skin to skin was slowly giving her comfort as his body heat was radiating warmth.

"I-do you love me?" She asked. The panic in her voice was clear. She was soon going to get a panic attack. it was building up.

"Ofcourse I love you babydoll, why would you think otherwise?" He questioned while kissing her forehead.

"i- i dont know, please dont be mad at me," She sobbed in his chest. The view was heartbreaking and the boys knew that if they didnt find a way to cheer her up soon it would end up into a full blown panic attack.

"I'm going to make some brownies for her," Felix said because he knew this was the only way he could comfort her on his part. He quickly leaves the room after hesitating for a bit not wanting to leave her.

"I- are you guys using me? For sex?" She cried harder. Her hands held Changbins chest as She struggled to breathe. Their faces were in absolute shock. was this what they made her think? was this all she thought she was to them? 

"Ofcourse not," leeknow knelt down infront of her. He slowly rubbed her thigh. "Jagi, you need to breathe. Can you do that for me?" He asked her. Her body was shaking still. she tried to gasp for air but failed. 

"Listen to me beuatiful, you need to breathe like me....see," he took a deep breathe to demonstrate to her but it was no use. 

"i- i cant breathe," she gasped and let go of changbin to grab her neck. it felt like it was closing up. Her vision was blurry now and the lack of oxygen was getting to her. 

"C-chan?" she gasped as she slowly she started to pass out. Her body giving up on her due to the many emotions.

"come on baby, stay with me," she heard in the distance.

"Guys! call 119,"

***

This is just a fic no one come for me 😔

[trashywormeateroffics]

ours (bucky barnes x female reader)

the gif is not mine!

summary: a comment makes bucky question your relationship and he begins avoiding you. tired of his behavior you confront him.

a/n: once again i am asking u to send me requests of bucky, natasha or loki + a taylor swift song so i can write a one shot about it!!!! hope u enjoy this anon<3

masterlist

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you know exactly when it started, and it makes you furious. everything was fine, it was more than fine, it was perfect. until people thought they had the right to meddle in things that weren’t their concern, like who you should and shouldn’t love. and, for the most part, you could handle it, but then… that damned comment. a stupid twitter comment made by an account without a profile picture set him off. by him, you mean bucky barnes, your boyfriend. and by the damned comment, you mean the one that said that they hoped he wouldn’t turn into the winter soldier and kill you by accident. since then he’s been avoiding you and every time you try to talk to him, he runs away. and you’re sick of it. that’s why you find yourself angrily stomping through your way to his room in the compound.

“bucky.” you call out to him as you knock on the door. you can hear some shuffling of things on the other side so you know he’s there. but he’s playing dumb. “bucky.” you call again. nothing. you sigh, annoyed. “james buchanan barnes if you do not open this door right this second-“ the door opening cuts you off and you fall silent. there, in all his sleepy glory, is your beautiful super soldier of a boyfriend.

“i was sleeping.” he tells you in a low grumble.

“too bad. we need to talk.”

“about?”

“oh you know,” you shrug nonchalantly, “about the fact that you’ve been avoiding me like the plague.”

“i haven’t-“ you don’t listen to his excuse and let yourself in. he shuts the door but doesn’t turn around to look at you.

“james. look at me.” you say, a bit more harsher than you intended. “bucky.” you try again, this time more softly, but it still comes out a bit impatient and you know he can hear it.

bucky slowly turns around and glances at you for a quick moment before directing his gaze to the floor and putting his hands in his sweatpants pockets.

for a bit you stay in silence and just look at him while he avoids your stare. you know it’s making him nervous but you don’t care, not right now, not when you’re this angry and frustrated and hurt.

he clears his throat and glances at you for a second to utter his next few words.

“i haven’t been avoiding you.” and his gaze is back on the carpeted floor.

“the fact that you can’t look at me kind of proves that’s bullshit.”

“it’s not-“

“it is.” you cut him off. “you have been avoiding me and i know why.” that’s when he looks at you. you purse your lips. “that comment-“

“what comment?” he asks defensively.

“you know which one, i don’t want to say it.”

“why?” he asks bitterly. “scared it’s true?”

you frown.

“what?” you say, eyes wide. “are you dumb?”

“we both know it y/n, no need to pretend.”

“oh, so you really are dumb!” you laugh without a trace of joy. he frowns, almost offended.

“i’m not- i’m being realistic.”

“realistic? that’s realistic? reading one stupid comment and then avoiding me?” you tell him, your voice raising a bit with every word spoken.

“yes! it’s for your own good.”

“dumb!” you repeat again, like a child throwing a tantrum. “you are what’s good for me!”

his eyes soften at that but he remains unconvinced.

“i’m not.”

“yes you are!”

“it’s best if you leave.” at that your heart drops to your stomach. he really thinks he will hurt me, you think.

“bucky…” you begin.

“y/n, please. leave.”

“bucky.”

“y/n.”

“i won’t leave.”

“leave.” he grits through his teeth.

“no! i love you!” you shout at him as tears begin falling down your face.

“you can’t!” he shouts back.

“why not?!”

“i’m a murderer, a monster! i’m going to end up hurting you!”

“you won’t-“ you plead but he cuts you off.

“you can’t act like that’s not what everyone thinks when they see us together.” he runs his metal hand through his hair in frustration and then raises it to his face to look at it with sorrowful eyes. “you can’t. you’re smarter than this.”

you frown. you’re smarter than this. smarter than loving him as much as you do? smarter than giving this man the love he deserves after a life full of so much pain? smarter than fighting for the one thing that feels right in your life?

you bite the inside of your cheek and look at him. his gaze is back on the floor, but this time you really need him to look at you. so you walk the few steps that separate you both and grab his face with your hands, turning his head your way. still, he doesn’t look at you.

you can see his blue eyes even though they’re not directed at you and they are so sad, so defeated. but they hold so much love there, you know it. he has confessed many times that he burns for you in the same way you do for him. that is why he’s so scared. but what he doesn’t know is that you are too. the idea of ever doing something that could hurt him terrifies you. maybe you’re not scared to hurt him in the same way he’s scared to hurt you, but you understand what he’s feeling, even if you can’t relate to his exact experience.

“bucky…” you begin. his quivering lips purse in an attempt to not break. “baby. please look at me.” you plead. slowly, he does. “listen to me. i’ve told you a million times, but until you believe it i will have to keep saying it. what happened all those years, what your body did, it wasn’t you, it was them.” he shakes his head but you hold him steady, looking at you. “listen to me.” you repeat. “no one has ever taken care of me the way you do. no one,” you tell him firmly as a few tears fall from your eyes, “has ever been kinder to me than you. no one has ever loved me more than you. and i have never loved anyone, anyone, the way i love you.” his eyes shine with unshed tears and you usher him to let them fall with a soft smile. he does. “you are not a murderer, and you are not a monster. you are a fighter, you’re the bravest and kindest person i’ve ever met and most importantly… you are my love.” you chuckle through both of your tears. “they will always have something to say, but this? this is ours james, we can’t let anyone tell us what we are. the only people who know that is you and me. and you know it, right?” he blinks and more tears fall down his cheeks. you wipe them away with your thumbs and began peppering kisses all over his face. “you know it, right?” you ask again. he nods with his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of your lips on his skin. “say it. please.”

“i know.” he tells you. “i know, i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay baby.”

“no, it’s not. i- i shouldn’t have avoided you, i just- i got all in my head and you know how it is-“

“i do.” you give him a small smile and he returns it before frowning.

“i didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“me neither.” you tell him and he laughs.

“i forgive you, doll.”

“oh? so we’re back on doll territory? no more y/n?”

he narrows his eyes playfully.

“no more y/n, doll-face.”

you purse your lips to stop yourself from grinning but fail miserably. but then you get serious.

“bucky, you got it right? that you won’t hurt me and that- that you shouldn’t listen to what people say, that my love for you is so much bigger than all the hate they may throw at us.”

he slowly smiles and looks into your eyes with so much adoration it makes your stomach twist itself up in knots.

“i got it doll. i don’t know if i’ll ever not be scared to hurt you, but i’ll tell you if i do feel like that. i won’t push you away.”

“please don’t.”

“i won’t.” he grins and grabs your waist to pull you closer to him. as his lips ghost over yours, he says: “it’s you and me against the world.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Work 25

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.

Characters: Loki

Note: last night I finished my paper... mostly. Need to format and cite.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You stare at your hand, then Mr. Laufeyson’s. In contrast, his seems so big. Emblematic of the hold he has on your life. The power you can’t resist. Even if you want to. You don’t know what you want. You don’t know if you’d ever known. You only ever did what you thought was right.

He lets you slip your hand free and you turn it over, looking down at your palm. You trace a line as you feel him watching you. He wants you to speak but what can you say? You’re confused and scared and so, so tired.

“Pet, was I not clear?” He wonders, the gentle lilt frightens you more than his deep commanding timbre.

You think he was. You think you know what he wants. Just like your father accused you. Well, what else are you worth? Not just to him but anyone.

“Can…” your mouth is dry, your eyes are itchy, your head is pulsing, and your body feels hollow. “Can I think about it?”

“Think?” He echoes, “what– how long?”

“I don’t know, Mr. Laufeyson,” you answer thinly, sinking back into the pillows, “I’m dizzy. I don’t feel very well.”

“Dizzy?” He repeats you again. He hums and clasps his hand around his knee, “when’s the last you’ve eaten?”

You shyly glance up. You slant your lips and shrug. You’re uncertain. Does he really care? It hardly matters. You can’t recall when your dad ever bothered about you being fed or happy. Even if it’s pretend, it’s better than before.

“Yesterday, I think,” you twine your fingers together, “last night…”

“Yes, last night was a bit much, wasn’t it?” He tuts, “what about breakfast?”

“I had some tea,” you offer. “I’m not very hungry, just sleepy.”

“You need to eat then, you can’t think on an empty stomach surely,” he insists as he stands, “I’ll fetch a plate.”

“Mr. Laufeyson, I’m fine,” you try to push yourself to the edge of the bed but he’s quick to stop you, catching your shoulder as he nudges you into the pillows.

“No, no, let me show you,” he squeezes then reluctantly rescinds his touch, “I said I would give you anything, yes? Whatever you wish or need. Let me show you that I can and you may better make your decision.”

“It’s really not–” you try to argue but don’t have the energy. Really, you’re too perplexed to come up with any protest. He’s being strangely… nice.

“I mean it, stay,” he orders as he shows his palms, “I won’t be long.”

You just nod. He spins on his heels and marches out. You scrunch up your lips and glance towards the window. It’s later than you thought. The window is dark and the moon shines down in a sliver.

What would it be like to have someone take care of you? Is that what Mr. Laufeyson means? You’re not that stupid. Inexperienced, yes, but he has been blunt. You know what he wants from you but you’re not sure you can offer it. 

Clothes? Jewellry? Shiny things? All those things mean nothing. He can’t give you what you truly want but no one can. And he’s right about everything else. You have no home and whatever he did can’t have made your dad any less angry than he already was.

You close your eyes and exhale. No isn’t an option. It might knot in your chest and tickle your tongue but you’re not sure you can’t utter it. What is the alternative? You’re at the tipping point. Without a job, you can’t afford that hotel bed. Even with one, you’re not sure you can swing it. And there’s all the other expenses; all the things you need and don’t have.

Your head is ready to split in two. You could never be ready for this. You never saw it coming to this. You in Mr. Laufeyson’s bed, weighing your entire life in your hands.

Your eyes roll open as you hear him. The scent of the food precedes him and your stomach rumbles loudly. His brows rise in response as he enters. He has a plate in one hand and a wooden board under the other. He nears and sets the dish on the night table, unfolding the legs of the lap table.

He places it over your legs and moves the plate on top of it. He’s careful not to lose the cutlery in the process. It’s some of the food Frigga left, but not a dish you helped with. Salmon, rice, and a colourful medley of vegetables.

“Something to drink?” He offers.

“Um…” you look at the plate then furrow your brow at him.

“Don’t look at me like that. What would you like?”

You blink. This is strange. It should be you asking him. It should be you running around. It’s backwards. All of it.

“Water is fine.”

“Hm, yes, water, I shall return,” he declares and once more pivots on his heel.

You focus on the food as he goes. You poke the long grains of rice, then a baby carrot. You push it all around before you dare to take a bite. It’s good, very good. Better than boxed macaroni and canned soups.

Mr. Laufeyson appears again. He has a tall glass, weeping with condensation as a lemon floats on top. He sets it on the night table, sure to slip a marble coaster down first. You taste the food intensely, pushing your tongue around as he backs up. He hovers just before the foot of the bed.

You continue to eat. Tediously so. Little bites as you delay the inevitable. He won’t allow you much longer than it takes to clear the plate to give your answer and you’re filling up fast. You still the fork and swallow. You rest the silver on the ceramic rim and take a sip of water. The cold flow gives a small kick.

“What did you do to him?” You ask, voice trembling even as you fight to control it.

He tilts his head and a line ripples above his brows. He cheek dimples as he grips one hip, “whatever do you think I did to the sickly old brute?”

You frown and he puts his head straight. He drops his hand and flutters his fingers. He huffs and paces around the end of the bed, then back again.

“I only gave him a fright,” he grumbles, almost bashfully, “I am somewhat above assaulting an elderly man.”

You stare, not saying a word.

“What? I am,” he snaps, “I only told him to keep his hands to himself. In more words than that.”

You don’t know if you believe him. You want to only because you wouldn’t want to be the reason your dad gets hurt. Even if he’s the reason you are.

“Promise?” You ask.

He clasps his hands together behind his back, “sure. Yes, I swear that I didn’t touch him, right? Just a bit of ominous implication.”

You run your finger along the edge of the plate.

“Tell me you’re not lying, please?”

He’s quiet. He huffs again and taps his toe.

“Why do you care so much? He doesn’t care for you.”

“Just…” you are wilting, you feel your strength dwindling. “Tell me the truth and I’ll say yes.”

He shifts to sit on the bed, just by your legs. He looks at you in the face. You meet his gaze and he doesn’t flinch, “I did not assault him, though it crossed my mind. He had that tube under his nose and wouldn’t stop coughing. It hardly seemed a fair contest. I merely warned him that the next time, I wouldn’t restrain myself.”

“Next time?” You murmur.

“Which there won’t be,” he assures, “because I told the truth, so that is…”

He waits and points at you. You turn your head away. You believe him.

“Yes,” you mutter. “I accept, Mr. Laufeyson…” You bat away another singe of tears, the voice in your head whispering what you won’t say aloud, ‘you win’.

✨

Mr. Laufeyson clears away the dishes and folds up the small table. He leaves you for a time, stirring on the lower level as you listen cautiously. You feel a little better but your eyes are still puffy from crying and your head still has a dull tick. 

You slowly stand, careful not to cause your head to ring, and move around the bed. You slip into the hallway and into the study. Inside, you near the desk and lift the bag onto the chair. You search within until you find your phone, the mostly neglected flip.

You open it and stare at the keypad. You want to call your dad and make sure he’s okay but you know you shouldn’t. You can’t. He wouldn’t answer either way. You know that. The more you think of what he did, the worse it is. Why hadn’t you realised before? There was no way to ever go back home.

“Pet?” Mr. Laufeyson startles you and you shove away the phone. You face him and lean on the corner of the desk. “I made some tea… it’s much too late for work.”

“I know, I…” you still aren’t used to this. It’s so unusual. Mr. Laufeyson’s isn’t a place of leisure or carelessness, it’s for work. “...was checking the time.”

“Late, yes,” he affirms, “chamomile, my mother left some behind.” He raises the steaming mug, “you should lay down.”

“Mmm, yeah, I…” you look away. It’s not so different as it was, is it? You’re still supposed to obey him. He might be gentler but he isn’t asking.

“Would you like a book to read? You may peruse to your pleasure,” he offers and crosses to you, close as he puts the cup on the desk, “I might have a few you may enjoy. Are you fan of Shelley?”

He takes your wrist before you can react. He leads you to the shelf near the middle of the wall as you blink and peek up at him. This is strange. You’ve never seen him like this. Almost excited, as much as he has ever been.

“Poe, of course, I’ve some Lovecraft but I find him repetitive,” he goes on, “perhaps this isn’t an evening for horror.” He’s thinking aloud, “I might have an Austen or two that you may handle. The first editions, I’m afraid, cannot be touched.” He hums as he lets you go and hovers his fingers over the row, “Mansfield Park… hm?” 

He looks at you and you shake your head. You don’t know. You read the same books you read as a kid. The Secret Garden, The Little Princess, and that illustrated version of The Hobbit, the one your dad used to…

“Maybe tomorrow,” you offer, “my head hurts.”

“Fair,” he agrees, “as I said, you should lay down.”

“I know,” you murmur and back away, “I’m just… restless.”

“So drink your tea.”

“Thanks,” you return to the desk and lift the mug, blowing over it as the steam continues to furl above it, “I will.”

“In bed,” he insists.

“I wouldn’t want to spill it–”

“Well certainly you can’t have it near the books,” he reproaches, “so come.”

That’s a command. His tone hardens and you recognise him again. Oh yes, things aren’t so different after all. He’s still in charge.

You nod and do as he says. You carry the tea into the hallway but hesitate at the threshold. Can’t you just go downstairs? No, you’re tired. You continue to the bedroom and place the mug on the same coaster where he’d put the water earlier.

You fold your hands nervously and back away. You approach the window and look out onto the estate. You remember the night you rushed over here, when he’d triggered that alarm. The way he’d been so undone, how he’d grabbed you and babbled those senseless words.

He moves behind you, shifting open drawers, and shuffling around. He doesn’t say a word as your vision blurs the shadows to a sea of uncertainty. The world is distant as you struggle to believe in it. It still feels like a horrible nightmare.

“Pet,” he slithers as he comes up behind you. You flinch as he rests his hands on your shoulders, standing almost flush to you, “your tea grows cold.”

You nod and sidle away from him. He relents, a hand dragging down your arm as he sighs. He watches as you go to claim the porcelain cup. You sit on the edge of the bed and sip. It’s pleasant, not stale like the old tea bags in your own cupboard. Well, that’s not yours anymore.

You wiggle your nose, ready to cry again. It’s like your morning yourself. The old you is dead yet very much sitting there, just as powerless as ever.

“Thank you,” you say as you cradle the cup against your hand, absorbing the heat until it hurts.

“I’ve found some clothing you can sleep in,” he nears and pulls the folded fabric across the bed. A plain button-up and a pair of cotton shorts. “I’m afraid I’m not furnished for you just yet. Tomorrow we will rectify that.”

You thank him again and drown your nerves in the yellow tea. As much as your eyelids tug and your shoulders slump, as heavy as you feel, you’re not sure you will sleep through the churning in your chest. You twitch as he brushes a finger against your cheek and your sight narrows on him.

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either. He caresses down to your chin and tilts it up. He considers you. You feel him appraising you, his eyes drifting away from your face. For a moment, his grip on you firms and his hand slides back so the crook of thumb and index frame your throat. You gulp as he bends over you. He presses a kiss on your forehead, lingering as he inhales your scent.

“Patience,” he mutters as he parts, though you don’t know if he girds you or himself.

He draws away and fixes his posting, rolling his shoulders as he turns sharply. He goes back to the dresser and focuses on the contents of the top drawer. He clucks as he snatches out garments.

“I suppose I should dress for bed too,” he drones flatly, “no doubt…” He snaps the drawer shut, “a long night.”

[natimiles]

Comfort (Isaac x reader)

Summary: When you’re feeling down, Isaac easily picks up and tries to help you.

Words: 1125

Tags: descriptions of anxiety, sadness, and the feeling of inadequacy; hurt with comfort; established relationship.

Notes: had an existential crisis reading Fi’s fic and wanted Isaac to hug me. I’m good, and the fic is very good too. Go read it, go go!

Isaac isn’t the best at reading people’s expressions, understanding how they feel, or dealing with their emotions — or his own. However, when you’re on the line, he gets a little better.

Ever since you got close, he has learned a little about how to read your reactions — what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Tonight, he doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, but when you’re clearing the dishes after dinner, he swears he sees a shadow pass over your face. It lasts for a second, and he thinks he’s probably seeing something that doesn’t exist, but it still bugs him.

When he invites you to go to the garden and stargaze together, you politely refuse with a smile and say you’re tired. He tries really hard to believe it, to brush it off as him being paranoid, but he’s grown too good at reading you, and he can clearly see your smile isn’t reaching your eyes like usual.

He doesn’t say a thing, just nods and smiles back, saying you can meet another time. But your face stays engraved in his mind. Your eyes don’t shine like usual, your smile is weak, barely there, and your voice is lower. So when you turn around to go to your room, Isaac turns to go to the kitchen. He isn’t sure if you’d want to eat, but a hot tea would probably be welcomed — or so he hopes.

The moment the door closes behind you, your face falls. With a tired sigh, you drag your feet until you reach your bed, flopping down onto it without even taking off your shoes. You feel this sensation growing inside you, making you numb while simultaneously hurting. It grips your heart, enveloping it in a dark shadow, like clouds turning the sky gray before it rains.

Another tired sigh, and you turn around, staring at the ceiling while feeling your soul turn into nothing again. You’re accustomed to life in the 19th century, happily smiling beside the residents, basking in the love they all give you… in the love Isaac gives you. You almost forgot about the void inside you; it’s been a while since you last felt like this. But you knew it was only a matter of time. You could feel it slowly growing…

After you burned breakfast. After you forgot to close the door, and the wind slammed it shut, startling everyone. After you dropped Isaac’s telescope while trying to help him. After you tripped and almost fell on your face, making everyone worried and run to help you. After you tried to take the umbrella to Isaac at the university when you realized he had forgotten it at home, but the storm caught you halfway, leaving you with a broken umbrella, soaking wet, and your boyfriend taking care of you while you were sick.

After…

After…

After every mistake, every stupid decision, every little accident… Were all these things really accidents? Or was it just you being helpless as usual?

You made up excuses after helping Sebastian with the dishes and went back to your own bedroom, but you were sure some of them picked up on what happened. You tried to muster up a smile to calm them down, but you could feel their gazes, especially Isaac’s.

Three knocks on your door and a soft, well-known voice calls your name from the other side, as if summoned by your thoughts. Your eyes widen slightly, and you wonder if you can stay quiet, pretending to already be asleep. You hear a low mumble; Isaac is probably thinking exactly that, and your heart clenches. You could never lie to him, and you’re up on your feet in a matter of seconds.

The door opens suddenly and frantically, startling the vampire in the hallway. His eyes widen for a second, then soften when he sees you.

“I brought tea,” he says softly, lifting the mugs as if to emphasize his point. You only stare at him, and then at the mugs. “I thought you’d like it… But it’s okay if you don’t want it. I-I… can also just leave the tea and leave you alone, if that’s what you want.” He starts to panic when you don’t show any reaction.

But your eyes turn to his, those cherry-blossom colored eyes that you love, and you take a step to the side and gesture for him to enter the room, which he readily complies with.

You sit side by side on your bed, drinking the tea in comfortable silence, your fingers laced from when you reached for him moments ago. When you finish the tea, he places both mugs on your nightstand and turns to look at you. His free hand brushes your hair away from your face and gently caresses your cheekbones. You can tell he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know what or how, so he remains silent.

“Thank you,” you whisper, reaching for his hand on your face and holding it tight, drawing it closer.

“You don’t need to thank me for that,” he says, letting out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding, and leans forward, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love you. I’ll do anything for you.”

“I love you too,” you reply, closing your eyes, a sigh escaping your lips.

Isaac smiles softly and gives you a light kiss on your forehead. He kicks his shoes off and reaches for your feet, removing yours. Slowly and gently, he leans backward, pulling you with him so you both lie down on the mattress. He swiftly pulls the blanket from underneath you and covers both of you, his arms embracing you as soon as he makes sure you’re cozy.

You nuzzle your face into his collarbone, a sigh leaving your lips. His fingers start to caress your back, tracing random shapes that seem to relax you even more in his embrace. His scent, his warmth, the steady beating of his heart, his breathing, his tender touch… Everything about Isaac makes you feel good, relaxed, and calm. Even his cherry-blossom colored eyes, which you can’t see now, have a way of making you feel comfortable, loved, and cared for.

You feel a faint light in your heart, a silver lining in the darkness. Your eyes slowly close, and your body melts into his.

Isaac kisses the top of your head and smiles softly, relieved that you seem to be slowly feeling better. He hopes you can talk to him about whatever is troubling you, but he is patient; he can wait until you’re ready. For now, he can offer his warmth and his love, praying that it can be helpful — unaware of the effect he has on you.

Taglist: @specters0rd @bicayaya @koco-coko @yamarireads @judejazza

• @echoes-in-the-forest @chandeliermichel @fang-and-feather

• @sh0jun @scummy-writes @leia-skywalker-organa

Masterlists

[part-time-zombie]

Enough For Now

pairings: platonic dukexiety

summary: a playful argument between Virgil and Remus accidentally reopens some old wounds between the two of them, but it also offers a chance at mending them properly.

tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, implied/referenced fight pre-aa

word count: 1254

A/N: i probably could have/should have done more with this one but I'm tired lol. hope it's still a decent enough read.

He didn’t mean it. Remus knows Virgil didn’t mean anything by it. Of course he didn’t, he was only joking. They had both been bouncing quips, jabs, and banter back and forth for a while now, and he could tell Virgil was enjoying it by the subtle upturn of his lips and the quiet spark in his eyes. He was playing, they were both only playing.

So why was he so bothered by this?

Remus had playfully prompted him during their verbal spar when it happened.

“Oh, you wound me so! What could I have done to make you hate me like this?” Remus teased, theatrically placing a hand over his heart as if it had been run through.

Virgil’s lips peeled away from his teeth in faux disgust. “You exist.”

It was a good thing that Patton intervened at that point, telling them both to knock it off and get ready for dinner, because Remus had found himself at a true loss for words.

You exist.

He didn’t need to pretend he was hurt now, the ache in his chest made it all too clear to him that something had indeed struck at his heart.

Because the fact is, it had been the truth. Virgil had left, even when he promised they’d stick together until the end. And it had to be something Remus had done. Of course it was, he was messy and scary and everything wrong.

And deep down, Remus knows it hadn’t been just one thing he did wrong, or one line he crossed. It was just him, everything about him. Virgil left because of what Remus is, and what he is is awful.

He exists, and that was bad enough.

Remus ate in silence that day, keeping his head down and his eyes away from Virgil.

He didn’t expect to hear a knock at his door not even an hour after dinner was over. Firstly, because he never locked his door and always encouraged everyone to just barge in if they were looking for him. Secondly, because no one ever sought him out in the first place. Why would they? There was nothing good or desirable about him. If there was, people wouldn’t be leaving him all the time.

Virgil wouldn’t have left him at all.

He opened the door with a sigh and nearly closed it again when he saw Virgil standing outside it.

For whatever reason, he didn’t.

“What?” he asked instead.

“Look, I know I went a little too far earlier, so I just wanted to see how you were doing. And maybe apologize,” Virgil said, muttering the last part under his breath.

Remus narrowed his eyes. “Why?”

Virgil hunched his shoulders. “Because it was a dick thing for me to say, and I know I upset you. I didn’t mean any of it, really.”

“Not why you’re apologizing, even though it’s still weird. Why do you care how I’m doing?”

Virgil ran a hand through his hair, looking back down the hall for a moment. “If we’re gonna have this conversation, can we at least not have it out in the hall? I uh, I got a lot I need to say here.”

Remus obliged, stepping back and letting Virgil into his room while decidedly overlooking how long it’s been since he’d last been in here with him.

“So what is it, then?” he asked, closing the door with a pointed slam.

“I’m not the best at this, alright?” Virgil huffed. “But I just still feel really shitty about it, and also about… how we kinda ended things back then.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t play dumb right now. It was a mess and you know it, the whole thing sucked.”

Remus crossed his arms and gave him a glare. “Was it? I think it went pretty smoothly.”

Virgil only glared back. “We both know it didn’t.”

“It did for you.”

The “and not for me” went unspoken, but it was still heard loud and clear by both of them.

“It didn’t, though,” Virgil sighed, inching nearer to him. “At least, not completely.”

“But you still left anyway. It couldn’t have been all that bad.”

“I didn’t have too much of a choice, okay?” he barked. “It was all or nothing, one or the other. Stay in the dark with you or be in the light with them. I couldn’t do both. I wasn’t allowed to, not back then.”

“And you made your choice.”

“Yeah. I did. And most nights I only really think about what I had to lose in the process.”

Remus smiled ruefully at him. “You mean you celebrate.”

Virgil’s face fell as he took another step closer. “No. I mourn.”

Remus wasn’t sure if he wanted to let Virgil close the distance or not. If he wanted to run or not. If he was awake or not. He wasn’t even all too sure he remembered things right anymore.

“Remus, I know I fucked up,” he started, finally getting close enough for it to be considered too close. “I can’t undo it no matter how much either of us want me to, and I’m pretty sure this regret’s gonna kill me one day because of that. I just wanna make it right with you, okay? Today was a bad way to start, but I really do want to try and fix this if I can.”

Remus’ heart was thundering in his ears, his nails digging into his arm tightly enough to leave marks. Virgil left, he left and he never apologized. He hates him, he hates him because he exists and that’s bad enough. He doesn’t-

“Hey, now…” Virgil’s voice drifted back to him, gently nudging his shoulder and looking at him so softly that for a moment it looked like he cares. “Hey.  Don’t do that, okay?”

“Do what?”

Virgil gave him a small almost-smile. “Get stuck in your head like that. I’ve done that way too much and let me tell you, it sucks. Just… just be here.”

Remus forced his arms back to his sides, slowly unclenching his hands from the fists he had balled them into and using the stiffness of it to ground himself.

“And do what?” he asked, offering a cautious grin of his own.

“Well, maybe we could watch a movie or something?” he started. “I know we’ve got a lot of horror movies to catch up on.”

“You hate those,” Remus scoffed.

Virgil chuckled. “Only when I don’t have someone else around to watch them with.”

The next smile he made was much more certain, as was the one that was returned to him.

“So what do you think?” he continued. “I mean, we’ve got all night, and there’s plenty of stuff to watch.”

“Only if you don’t pretend you’re clinging to me when you get scared and you actually own up to it.”

“Will you keep laughing every time someone dies?”

Remus flashed him a knowing smile. “Duh.”

“Then I’ll keep on being not scared during the movie.”

“Fine by me.”

It didn’t take long for them to set up the first of several horror movies, watching them together in a gaggle of limbs under a shared blanket while Remus laughed and Virgil didn’t jump at the scarier scenes, and in no time it felt as if nothing had happened between them at all, and for just this moment they were just the Duke and Anxiety enjoying each other’s company again.

And for now, that on its own was good enough.

taglist:

@keitaisghost @rougeside4 @britt-ish123 @new-zee-land @nico-the-overlord

@can-i-take-a-stab @oatmealdaydreams @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @yuckypuppie

[itsbeeble]

[8:34AM]

Summary: Hyunjae kept you stuck in his warm embrace for too long, and now he has to deal with the problem on the ceiling

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Lee Hyunjae x afab!reader

WC: 0.8k

WARNINGS UNDER CUT

Warnings: Suggestive, definitely some innuendos in there, Hyunjae is scared of spiders, reader might be h-word, 18+ MINORS DNI!!!

A/N: yeah so im stupid and feel bad so here's the hyunjae fic people were promised

Lee Jaehyun loves you. That much is clear to anyone who bothers to look at the two of you.  

He looks at you with nothing but love in his eyes, looks at you as if you’d hung the stars in the sky and created the moon that controls the tides. He looks at you as if he would give up everything just to spend every waking second with you.  

And, truth be told, he would. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for you. Just ask, and you shall receive.  

At least...he would do almost anything for you. 

For two hours you’ve laid on your shared bed, your once tired eyes trained on the spider dangling two feet above Hyunjae’s head.  

On any normal day, you would’ve grabbed it. On any normal day, you would’ve carefully placed it outside where Hyunjae wouldn’t find it.  

Today, however, you can’t. You’re stuck, your body trapped under the weight of your lover’s warm embrace. He sleeps peacefully, his face tucked into your neck and his arm wrapped around the front of your body and holding you close to him.  

“Jae,” you say, voice hushed and cracking slightly. You grimace at the sound, noting that your boyfriend doesn’t move. “Baby, wake up.”  

Hyunjae shifts, grumbling quietly against you. Your heart warms, and then the spider shifts. Your stomach drops, and you grind your teeth together.  

“Jae, I need you to wake up.” A featherlight kiss to his cheek, and he shifts. Another one, this time closer to his lips. His face twitches, turning to get closer to where the touch is coming from. You smile, running a hand through his hair until a soft sigh is drawn from his mouth. His eyes open slowly, peering at you. “Good morning, sleepy head.” 

“What time is it?” His voice is rough, and you can feel his arms tightening around you again. You can feel his lips press against your collarbone, chapped but creating a buzzing sensation inside of you. You peer at the clock behind him, body relaxing as he presses another kiss to your skin, this time tugging the sleeve of your shirt down slightly.  

“8:30.” He pulls away from you, his nose scrunched with disgust.  

“And you woke me up...why?” You smile.  

“I need you to do something for me.” You trapped me for two hours, now you have to take care of the problem.  

“At 8:30 in the morning?” Hyunjae whines, rolling away from you and squeezing his eyes shut. You laugh, rolling on top of him and placing your arms on either side of his head. Your hair, a tangled mess from sleep, falls around you two like a curtain.  

“I promise it’ll be worth your while~” You sing, placing your lips against his jaw. You can feel his lips stretching into a tired smile. 

“Oh yeah?”  

“Mhm,”  

“How so?” You hum, pretending to think about his question.  

“You’ll find out.” Hyunjae huffs against you, and you feel a bubble of laughter rising in your throat.  

“Why would I agree to something when I don’t even know what I’m getting out of it?”  

“Because you love me?” You bring your face up to look him in the eyes. He raises an eyebrow at you. “And isn’t it better to be surprised? Isn’t the anticipation worth it?” 

“Not with you and your requests.” His hands slip down your back, fingers dancing around your hips and dipping into the waistband of your pants. His hands are warm against your chilled skin, goosebumps rising where he touched you.  

“Please?” You press your lips to his, and he squeezes your hips.  

“Mm, fine.” You pull away, beaming at him. 

“Really?” 

“Mhm. Only if I get to pick my reward.” 

“Promise?” You sit up on his lap, one hand propped on his torso and the other holding your pinky toward him. Hyunjae sighs, loosely linking his pinky with yours and bringing the back of your hand to his lips.  

“I promise.” 

“Okay, but you aren’t allowed to back out of this.” Hyunjae squints at you, now sitting up with you. Your body slides down his lap, and he crosses his legs to support you.  

“Back out of what?” 

“Is your water glass empty?” You wrap your arms around his neck and he nods, hesitantly but not backing away.  

“Yeah...?”  

“Cool,” you shimmy back, moving to stand. “There’s something above you that you need to take care of.” Hyunjae’s head tilts. 

“Why are you moving to the door? And what do you mean there’s something above me?”  

You’re halfway out of the bedroom when he spots the spider, the exaggerated gasp he emits being a telltale sign.  

“Y/N L/N”  

Footsteps pounding after you as you race to the kitchen, a hand wrapping around your wrist, a scream escaping you that will surely get you a noise complaint later. 

Yeah, you'll definitely have to make this up to him.  

~

TAGLIST: @fawnieszn @winterchimez

[gordontheengineswifenirmal]

The asexual struggle -

When it comes to the ‘are we LGBTQ+’ question, a lot of us asexuals have complexities far beyond the label, or multiple associations.

Let’s start at the beginning. For folks who are traditional LGTBQ+ - do u remember how hard it was to get to the limited, tepid (to say the least) level off acceptance that you have today? Asexuality in general isn’t there yet. We are still a few decades behind in the society’s mind. We share a lot of similar struggles - we are seen as broken, people think we choose who we are, than can/want to/should be ‘fixed’, etc. we too have dangerous negative associations attached to us. We get called paedo, we are called prudes or incels, we are told we can and should change. Society needs to understand that the lack of attraction, and/or lack of desire, resolution, etc. - and everything in between deserves just as much recognition as this who have heterosexual, or lgbtq+ sexual identities.

What puts us behind? We are rarely even acknowledged. We are the red headed stepchild, sort to speak. No one really knows us, or our struggles, they don’t care. They think we are a joke. It’s incredibly hurtful and damaging. We are frequently overlooked and misunderstood. We are often not taken seriously, and frequently ignored by both straight and other other non straight folks. We have fighting within our own community that causes confusion. This still does not give anyone an excuse to invalidate our existence. We, just like anyone else, didn’t choose it. Some folks struggle with it. Some of us have learned to embrace it in the wake up struggle, but there is usually struggle. Additionally, some folks can be both lgbtq+ AND some form of asexual. (In my case, I like male characters who are not human or animals. Apparently I’ve developed a thing for male machines lol.)

For some folks, the LGBTQ+ identity has more relevance. That is ok, as long as they have sincere intentions, and aren’t looking for attention. Yes, using sexually/gender identification for attention - that is a thing, and it’s been a thing for ages. For me, the label doesn’t mean so much. I don’t even really say I’m queer. I’m definitely unique, and I’ll stick to that. This does not mean that I feel there’s anything wrong with those who do identify more with LGBTQ+. I’m still an ally. I’m not going to hate someone who decides I’m not part of that greater label. I do take extreme offence with those who ‘bingo’ me, and invalidate who I am, or think I’m not serious about it. Worse yet, the ones who think I chose to be asexual, or decide they will ignore how I feel because they don’t know what sexuality is, and don’t care to open up their minds and learn. Then there are those who pretend to be asexual because they are trying to gain something from you, and it’s not clear wtf their intentions are. Or, sometimes it is. Still cringe.

However, in many aspects of society, there’s an unspoken social competition - men vs. Women, sexuality vs sexuality, culture vs culture, religion vs religion, political affiliation vs another political affiliation. There is some relevance behind the reasoning for some of these, but not all. Some of it has become an ego game. This behaviour is toxic. It does not good for anyone involved. It simply persuades prejudice and ignorance. Education, and the willingness to learn is paramount. This was said about the lgbtq+ community, and still is. The asexual community is now saying the same. This is what we are penultimately asking for. We want to learn how to be more recognised, more accepted in society, and given our rightful place. We agree that the mindset of ‘heterosexual is the only healthy identity’ is wrong. Please do not treat us like we are the enemy, especially when we are sex/romance repulsed. We seem gain the most eye rolls - both from within and outside our own own ace sphere. It’s a tiring argument, and we need to spend that energy toward more productive things, working together to help make things better for all ‘minority identities’. Even if u don’t identify with someone else’s sexual identity, respect it. That’s the most important thing. You would want that too. You wouldn’t want to be treated as a joke, as if your sexuality doesn’t matter. Don’t do this to others. This includes all of us in the asexual community, no matter what that may mean for us individually.

[lantanasmuttyfanfics]

evil queen x good king angst smut but make evil queen extra sassy 😭

Pray for me idk how I’m going to survive this god damned school year I’ve been put in three interventions for subjects and one of them is after school…

Anyway back with one of my faves and no I will never get tired of writing them

Hope you enjoyed and have a great dayy!!

——————————

The evil queen watched with ire as the good king got paired up with none other than Snow White for the damsels in distressing class.

The heroics class had merged for the day with the damsels and villainy class as a sort of ‘destiny’ assignment or whatever headmaster Grimm claimed it was.

Of course being the confirmed villain of Snow White she knew who she’d be paired with but it irked her knowing that people thought that her boyfriend could be the Prince Charming of that wench.

But in the end it made sense didn’t it? He came from a long line of noble princes’ known for being heroic and most of all good.

All fundamentals of a Snow White Prince Charming, something which the evil queen acknowledged with a feeling of loath in her heart.

Yet as she watched those stupid princesses gush over ‘how cute’ her boyfriend and that… rotten apple were she felt her magic rise further up to the surface.

Anger rising further and further, watching the pair act out some stupid heroic scene. “That’s your cue.”

The evil queen glared at the heroic coach as he beckoned her over. The short man cowered as she passed, purple mist surrounding her every step.

Snow while pretended to let out a petrified scream, scrambling behind the good king. The evil queen couldn’t help but roll her eyes yet still went along.

But as they continued to act the scene out, the evil queen felt her heart fall to the pit of her stomach. Something about the good king acting disgusted of her like everyone else made her feel certain things.

She knew it was an act, yet it… shook her seeing him seething at her with a ferocity that rivaled her own.

It felt as if he betraying her, as if this was truly how he felt deep inside. Fearing and disgusted of her for what her destiny told her to do.

——

The evil queen avoided the good king for the rest of the day. She didn’t want to face him just yet, not when she felt so pathetic for something she knew he had to do.

It was sad really, the villain who was destined to be hated and feared by all seemed more of a coward to face her own boyfriend. Truly laughable.

When she came back to her dorm, Red had quickly scrambled off after the evil queen threw some colorful words at her.

So now here she was staring at the ceiling in complete silence with a jumbled mind. She was about to finally move when a knock sounded about.

The evil queen cursed and sighed in annoyance. She thought that whoever it was, was here for Red. No one ever came to visit her.

“Red isn’t available-…”

The good king stared back at her with a concerned look before stepping around her and sitting down on her bed.

“Ok make yourself comfortable I guess. Don’t ask me if you’re welcome.”

The sarcasm in her voice was clear as day and the good king frowned at her as he grabbed her hand. She made no move to pull away as he pulled her closer.

The gazed at each other in silence for the longest time, an unspoken understanding passing through them as he pulled her on his lap.

“It was only for an assignment.”

“I know.”

“It’s ok to feel upset.”

“… I know.”

“Do you?”

The evil queen sucked in a breath, goosebumps rising on her arms as he pulled her face to his. Their lips brushing.

The evil queen connected their lips first in a kiss of passion and understanding. Of a deep rooted trust that there seemed to be no words for.

Her hands gripped his hair, the crown atop his head falling with a thud on the carpet. The good king kicked it away without a care as he moved them on the bed.

The evil queen snapped her fingers, their clothes disappearing without a trace as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

The good king groaned in her mouth, heat rushing from his head down south in a matter of seconds.

Her nails dug into his back as his fingers traced over her inner thigh, teasing and never touching where she wanted.

His own mouth trailed kisses down her neck to her chest, her skin glistening with sweat and saliva from his mouth.

With their want at a breaking point the hood king pushed in slowly at first before hitting the rest of the way with a roughness that froze her mad.

His actions were languid and slow, completely different from all the previous times. Yet the slow dragging motions did things to her that could not be spoken.

The good king dug his fist into her pillow, the fabric nearly ripping from his tight grip. The evil queen tugged at his hair her breath catching as he hit a particular spot.

Seeing her reaction, the good king hit that spot over and over. The lust building to a breaking point.

Soon enough the let of of their lust with mixes of muffled moans and pants as they came down from their high.

The evil Queen pulled the hood king closer, placing a tender, vulnerable kiss on his cheek as he laid down beside her.

And as he covered them with her blanket she fell asleep with her mind somewhat more reassured.

———————————

Fun story yesterday I had a sleepover with bsf and we’d were doing like a sleeping in the trampoline sorta thing… it fucking ripped in the middle of the night

Anyway I always love to write a more vulnerable, soft eq idk just something satisfying to see someone like her being a softy

Hope you enjoyed and have a great dayy!!

[bothoutsiders]

I have a request UwU can you please write something Jaytim but with Bernard as the bad guy in the story? Maybe some jealousy or stalking, it doesn't have to be extreme if you don't wanna I very rarely see bernard as the bad guy in fics, if I see it at all, and I have a bit of a craving for it :c pls ignore this if its not something you like! 🥺🥺🥺🥺

hey anon, i wrote something and i'm not sure if this will be of your liking. i have zero experience making someone the bad toxic person, but i did try it and i had a lot of fun. thank you for your request!!

--

“Baby bird, I thought you would never call.” The voice sounded muffled behind the helmet and even then, Bernard thought it wasn’t his real voice.

He tilted his head a bit to the side observing Red Hood. He was way taller than Tim, thus taller than him too. His muscles were impressive and seeing the guns on his sides, he knew he was also deadly. There was a stain of blood on his right thigh and Bernard wondered if it belonged to the vigilante or to someone else.

Red Hood was nothing but bad news. Bernard had googled him before. It seemed that Nightwing was popular even among the bad guys but Red Hood?... People always got killed when he was involved and he was sure that from all those bat people, he was the most dangerous one.

“Why is he calling you that?” He knew he shouldn’t be surprising a vigilante like that, but it bothered him how Red Hood seemed so close to his Tim. Just then he remembered the promise he made to Tim. Not to interfere. Not to speak, to pretend he wasn’t there, but he just couldn’t let it happen. He couldn’t ignore it.

Things began to move in slow motion as Red Hood looked in his direction. It was probably the fear making Bernard perceive time differently as two guns were cocked and pointed at him.

“Wait!” Tim immediately got between them. “Don’t shoot, don’t shoot!”

Bernard swallowed, feeling his body tense and alert, the back of his neck ice cold. He knew how to fight but this was completely different. He wouldn’t admit that standing close to Red Hood made him feel small and threatened.

“Who is he?” There was a pause coming from Red Hood, his tone wasn’t playful or happy anymore. “You know you can’t bring civilians to things like these.”

“Things like these?” Bernard asked, a light frown on his face. “Why is that? What do you two have to hide?”

Tim sighed as he looked at him, and behind him, he could see Red Hood staring too.

“Are you picking a fight, kid?”

“I don’t like the way he speaks to you,” Bernard said the same night after they were at his place. “He was obviously making a pass at you.”

It was clear on Tim’s face that he was more than tired of this. While their relationship had started as something new, exciting and more comfortable than any other romantic relationship he had ever had… this wasn’t what he expected from it. 

After a few months of dating it turned into something overwhelming and completely different.

“He wasn’t. That’s how he likes to tease others.” He sat leaned to the side, away from Bernard even if both were on the same couch watching tv. “If you react to it, he does it more.”

“Tim,” he placed a hand on his thigh. “You know I care about you, I love you, and I won’t tell you to stop being a vigilante if this is what you like but… I don’t feel comfortable when you go to him.” There was a smile on his face, trying his best to be kind with his words and not to make Tim snap. He knew how Tim reacts when he’s tired or under a lot of pressure.

“You can trust me, Bernard. Nothing is going to happen. He is just… that way. He doesn’t interact with many people so he can be a bit weird.”

“Is not that he’s weird and was flirting with you, it’s that he is dangerous. Did you see how he was about to shoot me? If it wasn’t because of you–”

“You surprised him. I told you not to speak or even move, you were to pretend to not be there. I shouldn’t be taking you with me when I’m Red Robin and I still did because you begged me to. It was wrong of me.” Tim shook his head.

“Fine, but he is still dangerous. He kills people, Tim. Why don’t you let someone else deal with him? If you need something from him, maybe contact someone else that will do it for you.”

“... You’re asking me to stop seeing him because you don’t like him?”

“Yes, but not because I don’t like him. He’s dangerous.”

Tim got quiet for a moment and turned his whole body to look at him, as he rested his cheek against a cushion. “Bernard… It’s complicated with Red Hood. He doesn’t have a good relationship with Batman and the rest.”

“No surprise.” He smiled and caressed Tim’s hand. “I know you might be doing it out of pity, Tim, but he’s not your responsibility. He isn’t a big stray dog with bombs attached to him that you found and that you need to take care of. If he was in the streets then maybe he’s there for a reason?”

While his relationship with Jason didn’t start with the right foot, it didn’t mean that he was still on bad terms with him. On the contrary, they were close, and whenever they would fight together, it seemed that they had been doing it together for years. They were so synchronized that it even surprised them.

“Bernard, you’re important to me, I do love you but I can’t sacrifice my friendship with Red Hood because you don’t like it. If we need to get more information or if something happens, he will never get in contact with Batman or even make a deal with him. They don’t get along, I’m the only one Red Hood trusts.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’ll have to ask you to trust me. Nothing bad has ever happened and even if you think he might be a savage, he really isn’t.”

Things didn’t go that well after. There were days that Tim firmly believed that Bernard was completely jealous. That time in which Tim got a message from Jason with a dumb sticker that made him laugh, set some kind of alarm in Bernard’s head.

“It��s him, isn’t he? Does he even know we are together?”

Tim began to suspect it was was some kind of manipulation. Tim had gone through a lot of things and met so many different people. He knew about manipulation when he saw it, and this definitely felt like it.

“This is what happens when you’re trying to be brave. You should’ve let me kill them.”

There were noises coming from the window, they dropped something on their way in and then Tim stumbled. When Bernard took a look, he felt his blood boil.

Red Hood was holding Tim from under the arm, making his boyfriend lean on him and he couldn’t stand it.

They have spoken about the vigilante job and while Bernard was okay with it and even thought it was pretty cool, seeing Tim with someone strong and on the same field made him angry. It wasn't only Red Hood the one that made Bernard jealous, he also got irritated with Kon and Cassie. Especially Kon.

"Don’t touch him!”

The sudden voice made both of them look up, frozen in place.

“I told you I didn’t want to see you with him again. Why can’t you just do that little thing for me, Tim?!”

Tim was about to speak but Red Hood interrupted.

“I’ve been very patient with you.” It sounded more like a growl than just a threatening voice. “The only reason why I haven’t done anything is because Tim wouldn’t like it.” He made sure that Tim was leaning all his weight on him and carefully took him to the couch, sitting him down. “If I stopped touching him when you told me, I would’ve dropped him on the floor like a bag of potatoes. You’re his boyfriend, can’t you see he’s wounded?”

Bernard looked up at Tim and then he saw it. He saw the many wounds, the dried and fresh blood and how he was leaning forward to remove his shoes and massage his foot.

“Well, this is because of you. If you weren’t with him, he wouldn’t have come home like this. You are the one who kills people, you are always surrounded by worse criminals. You’re exposing him!”

There was a moment where Red Hood didn’t say a word, and Tim knew what it meant. He was doubting himself.

“Bernard… I need you to stop. What if you go home tonight? I’ll call you tomorrow.” He said removing what was left of his domino mask.

“Of course I’m not leaving. I’m not going to leave you alone with this… This animal!”

“Bernard, please.” He closed his eyes. The headache he had was killing him.

“Tim, please. We have talked about this before. Tell your friend to leave, I’ll take care of you.”

There was a small sigh coming from Red Hood. Something that no one would notice unless they’ve spent a lot of time with him and recognized the small details. He was about to stand up when Tim placed his hand on Red Hood’s knee.

“Stay.”

“Stay? Tim, he can’t be here.” 

“You can’t be here, Bernard. You don’t understand and you are only making things worse." The throbbing on his temples only got worse. "I only want to disinfect my wounds and sleep for two days. You’ve been doing this for weeks now. I know what you want but I can’t give it to you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s him or me.”

Black spots were clouding his sight.

“Bernard. Close the door when you leave.” He closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch, massaging his temples. He couldn't stand it anymore.

He didn’t see Bernard leave but he heard him slamming the door when he left.

Red Hood didn’t say a word as he began to help Tim with his clothes, making sure nothing was touching directly his open wounds. He then left, only to be back a few moments later with something.

Tim didn't open his eyes, he knew by now that he needed to take a pill for the pain or he wasn't going to be able to fall asleep, even if he was exhausted.

He felt how his wounds were being taken care of. The few whimpers that escaped his lips found solace on a couple of "it's okay, baby bird", "you're doing good, pretty", "the last one, promise". His voice was gentle and Tim wasn't going to pretend he didn't like it when Hood spoke that way to him.

"He was lying." Tim said and felt how Red Hood paused on what he was doing.

"On what, exactly?" 

"Being with you doesn't expose me to worse criminals. I think we make a pretty good team." He said proudly as he opened his eyes, only to find Jason looking back at him. He completely forgot how beautiful Jason's eyes were.

"Well…"

 "You're stuck with me, Jason. We are a team. If you try to get rid of me, I'll just keep coming back."

"That's not something your boyfriend will like. You have a lot to explain to him."

Tim rolled his eyes before closing them again. "I'm single again. Now bring me something for the pain, please."

[specialagentlokitty]

Ncis x reader - anything for you

Can it be NCIS team leaving reader out with some fluff at the end ? Thank you so much - Anon💜

They did everything together, they went for meals, drinks, they hung out on days off and you weren’t there for any of it.

As you sat at your desk listening to them talk about the bar they were at last night you frowned heavily, ducking your head as you tried to focus on your paperwork.

“Hey (Y/N) how did you like the bar?”

You glanced up at Tony, you just looked at him for a moment before you went back to doing your paperwork.

“Hey come on! What’s you think?”

Tony walked over, plucking the pen from your hand and you snapped your head up to him.

“I’m busy.” You snapped.

You snatched the pen back, trying to contain your emotions and push everything down.

You didn’t want to blow in the middle of work, you didn’t want to cause a scene or draw attention to your area of the bullpen, so you just went back to your work.

Tony shared a look with McGee and Ziva, and even gibbs looked up at the odd behaviour from you.

“(Y/N)?” You boss asked.

He knew it wasn’t like you to not engage in talking to your coworkers, in fact you loved talking to them and you were always happy to have a chat.

You ignored them as they crowded around your desk and carried on with the last little paperwork and you stood up, gathering the file.

“I need to get these to Vance.”

You tired to move away from them but they had you cornered in.

“Not until you tell us what’s going on.” Tony said.

“Yeah, we know something is bothering you, we just want to help.” Ziva smiled.

You shook your head.

“Nothing, I’m just busy so can you get out of the way?”

“We know somethings wrong with you (Y/N), please talk to us.” McGee begged softly.

You rolled your eyes at them and pushed through them, dodging Gibbs as he tried to grab your arm and spun around, slapping his hand away.

“Don’t pretend you care now. You want I know what I thought about the bar? I don’t know, I wasn’t there. I wasn’t invited.”

With that you marched away leaving them all shocked.

“No one invited them?” Ziva asked.

“I thought they were there when I said about it? Everyone was, even Abby and Ducky.” Tony replied.

They felt the guilt washing up inside of them.

How long had they really been leaving you out of things?

They did try find you, try to apologise, but after your meeting with the director you were gone, and they were told you were taking a few days off for personal reasons.

Were you avoiding them now?

“Come on we have to make it up to them!” Abby said.

She was nearly in tears, feeling absolutely horrible for what they had been doing, they all felt horrible about it.

“Why not a game night? We can all get some food and drinks and go to (Y/N)s place?” McGee asked.

“I think that is a wonderful idea, we should go there around 8.” Ducky smiled.

They all agreed, and carried on with that they were doing because they still had hours yet before anyone could go home.

You were at home, having finished all your paperwork you decided to take some of your days off early just to clear your head and focus on some stuff you had to do.

Getting a shower, you changed into more comfortable clothes and looked through your chore list.

There was a knock on your door and you looked up, setting your list down you walked over and opened the door.

“Boss?” You asked.

“(Y/N).”

You stepped aside to let him in and went back into your kitchen to look at your list of things that needed done.

“What do you need Gibbs?”

“For you to talk.”

You looked at him in confusion and leant again the counter, arms crossed over your chest.

“Want to tell me what that was about back in the office.”

You scoffed a little, not scared of your boss while he was in your apartment knowing full well you didn’t have to play by his rules there and he knew that too.

He leant against your fridge.

“I’m fed up of everyone not even realising I’m there. When’s it going to get to far for you people Huh? When I’ve been shot or worse?”

Gibbs just listened.

You carried on ranting to him, telling how fed up you were, that you didn’t deserve what everyone was doing to you and it was unfair.

You stopped looking at him and sighed, shaking your head.

“Those files were transfer papers. I’m leaving your team, sorry.”

“I know.”

You looked up at him.

“Vance told me. And never say sorry.”

He lightly slapped the back of your head and sighed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you in for a hug.

“You’ve got a week to decide if it’s what you really want.”

“I’ve already made up my mind Gibbs, why would I change it?”

He looked at his watched and pointed to your front door where a light knock came and you frowned as you looked up at him.

He pushed you towards the door and you padded into the hallway, leaving him in your kitchen.

You opened your door to find everyone there holding board games, a few gaming consoles and a bunch of bags.

“(Y/N) we’re sorry!”

Abby rushed you, tackling into a hug with so much force you were sent stumbling back a few steps and everyone walked in, setting everything down in your living room.

You hugged Abby back, and moved a little so you could push the door back before you went back to holding here as she sniffled into your shoulder.

“Woah okay Abby, it’s okay.”

You rubbed your hand up and down her back until she pulled away, wiping her tears frantically.

“It’s.. it’s not! We treated you so bad!”

You said nothing and turned to find everyone looking at you.

“We’re so sorry my dear, there is no excuse.” Ducky sighed.

“He’s right, there isn’t. At least let us try make it up to you?” McGee asked quietly.

You looked at them all, you were still furious with them, but after all you had been through before the events of the past few months, you decided it was worth giving them a change.

“Fine.”

“Yes! Come on!”

Abby grabbed your hand and pulled you into the living room, showing you everything that they had brought over.

They let you picked what to do, and for Gibbs and Ducky you settled for a bored game at first.

Everyone was laughing, smiling and having a great time, while you talked with Ducky, Tony and McGee were showing Ziva how to play a game on the console.

You spent time with them all one on one either playing a game or talking with them and soon enough hours slipped by.

Everyone decided to stay for the night, and you let Ducky take your bed so he wouldn’t hurt his back.

You were trying to sleep when you felt a paper ball hit your head.

“Tony?”

You sat up and looked across the room and he gestured for you to come over so you did, stepping over Ziva, McGee and Gibbs who were asleep on the floor.

Sitting next to Tony, you looked at him.

“Whats up?” You whispered.

He nudged your shoulder a little bit and offered you a small smile.

“I know it can’t make up for what we’ve been doing, but I hope it’s a start.” He whispered back.

You looked at everyone and you smiled softly.

“You’re right, it can’t.”

Tony frowned.

“But it’s a start, thanks DiNozzo.”

He grinned a little and covered you with his blanket.

“Well you’ve got us coming here every night for the rest of your life so you better get some more blankets.”

You laughed a little bit and rested your head on his shoulder, smiling as you sighed a little.

This was nice, and you were feeling a little better but it was going to take a lot more than this to make it up to you, but you knew they were going to keep trying.

After all they were your team, you knew no matter what at the end of the day they would have your back

[stxrsniolo]

introducing... sullen camper!zoey

yeah, hey, i’m zoey... and no, i don’t want to be here, and also, no, i don’t care about your team-building exercises.

i’m just here to survive the summer, complain about everything, and play my guitar in peace, so if you see me with my headphones in, it means ‘do not disturb.’

but if you’re persistent (or just really annoying, like chris), maybe—just maybe—i’ll tolerate you; just don’t expect me to be all sunshine and rainbows.

someone’s gotta keep this camp from becoming a chaotic circus.

the interview

what’s your favorite thing about camp?

nothing. but if I HAD to pick… maybe the few moments of peace i get when everyone finally goes to sleep, and i guess… the lake isn’t completely terrible.

what’s the worst thing about camp?

everything; the mosquitoes, the forced enthusiasm, the fact that i have to be here instead of at home watching movies in my room. take your pick.

what’s your go-to camp activity?

avoiding whatever activity they’re making us do that day, but if i absolutely have to, i’ll sit in the shade and pretend i’m participating.

if you could leave camp right now, would you?

yes. immediately. no hesitation. in fact, let me start packing.

what’s something people don’t know about you?

i… actually like playing music for people. not that i’d ever admit it out loud, but there’s something about sharing a song that feels… different. more real.

how do you handle conflict?

by avoiding it. or, if necessary, delivering the most sarcastic, passive-aggressive response possible until the other person gets tired and leaves me alone.

what’s your ideal summer?

at home. in my room. with my guitar. and zero human interaction.

how do you feel about making friends?

i hate it, there's to much effort and people are exhausting… some of them are, like, really persistent and refuse to leave me alone (side-eyeing chris).

if you had to be stranded on a deserted island with one person, who would it be?

literally anyone but chris.

any final words of wisdom?

lower your expectations… of everything. you’ll be much happier that way.

🐦‍⬛ ㅤּㅤㅤ˻ㅤ whisper ㅤ˺ᅟ⠀ i appreciate the love shown through reposts, but let me be clear: my tales are not to be copied or adapted without a whisper to me first. my words are my treasure, and i guard them jealously.

my murder of crows: @courta13 @chrislilcumslvt @marrykisskilled @chrislova @sturnshood @inspiredangel @strnilolover @emely9274 @sturns-mermaid @blushsturns @ariieeesworld

in case that you desire to be tagged in future works, here's the taglist.

[911ficrecs]

Whump/ Hurt!Buck Masterlist

Accidental by Rosefield - 36,090 words, teen+

Summary: It was an accident. He slipped. That doesn't mean he isn't going to take advantage of the opportunity that presents itself.

---- Post Lawsuit, Buck accidentally cuts his arm. He decides that maybe not getting help is best for everyone.

--- TW for suicidal idealization and injury that turns into a suicide attempt.

a leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things - 11,163 words, not rated

Summary: Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.

But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”

—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—

So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

Always, All Ways by ashavahishta - 85,000 words, explicit

Summary: “Buck is very dear, Mr Diaz. Not only to me but to the pack. You’ll find that if you treat him with anything less than utmost respect you’ll have a lot of people to answer to.”

Eddie swallowed. It was clear that in the absence of a mate, this omega had found himself a very protective pack. “Understood, sir.”

Or: Buck’s the only omega in the 118. He’s got secrets, and walls a mile high.

Eddie’s the alpha determined to knock them down.

blue enough to bruise by renecdote - 3,161 words, teen+

Summary: Two things happen at once:

Buck overbalances, arm slipping from around the bridge.

The rope snaps.

They lock eyes for a second, half a second, Buck’s wide and afraid, Eddie’s probably a match with the way his heart is pounding hard enough to hurt, nothing either of them can do, knowing that there is nothing either of them can do, and then—Buck is falling.

Breath and Shadow by Princessfbi - 20,629 words, teen+

Summary: The words hit the back of Buck’s neck and slid down his spine with the drops of the cold sweat collecting in the small of his back. The weight on Buck’s chest was an echo of what it used to be but still as suffocating as before when those words whirled around on repeat every time someone looked too long, looked too closely.

“He’s fine,” Hen had said to Bobby that day he’d come in sporting a bruise on his face and lying through his teeth about some bullshit with a bicycle.

The day Hen had lied for him too.

fireflies where my caution should be by littlesnowpea - 13,799 words, mature

Summary: “You never talk about your parents,” Eddie says, which is not even remotely what Buck expects Eddie to say. He frowns, tilts his head, but it isn’t a question, as evidenced by Eddie charging on. “I never asked because I figured it was your business, but the look on your face any time they’re brought up tells me you don’t get along.”

Buck swallows hard, against a lump in his throat. His parents? Eddie’s right, he never talks about them, for good reason. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, not sure what he’s even going to say.

Eddie takes it as the answer Buck is trying to make it out to be. He squeezes Buck’s wrist again, takes a deep breath, like he’s on a call with someone who’s panicking. Buck finds his breathing slowing to match Eddie’s, and Eddie nods as Buck gets it under control.

“There are people on the porch,” Eddie says, voice even. “Saying they want to meet their grandchild.”

i'm sinking deeper (reaching for the end of the light) by moodyreindeer - 8,716 words, mature

Summary: "I'm just so tired."

post 3.04, rewrite of 3.05 - when all is said and done, Buck is just really fucking tired of feeling alone.

Love You Sober by Child_Of_Wonderland - 4,545 words, teen+

Summary: Buck twirls the beer bottle around in his fingers and tries to ignore the rapid fading of the warmth in his chest. It's not a feeling he can mimic, no matter how hard he may try, and his brain won't stray from a perfect image of Eddie. To be loved back, that's all he really wants.

one part trust, three parts betrayal (just add fire) by wonderfool (foolmetal) - 14,925 words, teen+

Summary: Buck's parents are in town. It all goes downhill from there.

Overcome by Spicysauce - 53,697, mature

Summary: Or, set post season 5A, where Buck is alone, and angry, and exhausted, but mostly terrified that everyone he loves is slowly slipping away from him.

Reaching In The Dark by Pline - 38,713 words, general

Summary: It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.

He has a stalker.

Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.

But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.

real family by haveufoundwhaturlookingfor - 5,578 words, general

Summary: Buck has a son, but only few people know about him because of Buck's abusive ex-husband. Buck has been terrified of his ex-husband finding him and taking his son away from him, but a minor accident with his son makes him realize that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he told the 118 about his son.

Taking Smoke with my Coffee by UisceOneLove - 3,930 words, general

Summary: "Order for Firefighter Diaz!"

Eddie knows that coffee runs have typically been deemed a Probie task. He did plenty of them when Bobby first recruited him to the 118. So, tradition dictates that it's supposed ot be Ravi getting them.

But Eddie gets to have a lot of nice things for himself. The things that make even his worst call days just a smidge better.

If anyone (Hen) is interrogating him for details, it's definitely the coffee he's referring to."

I'm not in my gear, Buck," Eddie tells the barista when he approaches the counter.

The smile he looks forward to is waiting for him courtesy of the barista that makes even Eddie have to tip his head back a little bit to make eye contact. "Yeah," Buck drawls as he pushes the tray of coffee towards him, "but you're still on duty."

The Messiest of the Messy by Spicysauce - 16,965 words, teen+

Summary: Irritated, Eddie clenched his fists, starting to turn around. "Why would Buck be eating with us - "

The words died in his throat along with the shatter of the mug against the floor. But Eddie barely noticed he dropped it, his mouth slightly agape as he stared at Buck, took in the bruises, and the blood, and general brokenness of the man before him.

***

Or: After the Lawsuit, Buck is starting to think his team will never forgive him and is feeling lonelier than ever, when his dad shows up, looking for money that Buck doesn't have. Now, his ribs are broken and his face has been pummelled into one big bruise. All he wants to do is retreat to his empty apartment and wallow in his own self-pity, but before that he needs to get his keys, which he'd left at the station the previous night.

Everyone else is on shift, so he's hoping he can sneak into the locker room and be gone before anyone notices he was there, but this is Buck, so of course, nothing goes to plan.

there's frost in the air (but there's home in your eyes) by rogerzsteven - 3,702 words, teen+

Summary: Buck and Eddie are trapped in a train crash.

The Third Drawer by scarletmanuka - 7,767 words, mature

Summary: After his return to work, Buck feels lost and alone due to the way he's been treated by the people he thought were his family. In order to stop the pain, he begins to hurt himself instead.

this is me trying (at least i'm trying) by screaminghalfpastmidnight - 15,393 words, teen+

Summary: Buck never really dealt with his issues after the tsunami and the team never really asked so here he is, two years later - the pier's reopening, a victim shows up and thanks Buck, plus the city wants to give him an award for not dying out of pure luck. So, yeah. Buck's not doing well, everyone knows and Eddie's unsure which lines he should be crossing now that he and Buck are in some weird, middle stage of knowing that they will be together, but aren't yet due to personal reasons (like figuring their own relationship trauma out so they're not shitty partners).

waiting on the sunrise by autumnchills - 28,375 words, teen+

Summary: When Buck left home, it was a rushed decision. He didn’t know where he was going or what he was going to do, but he had a high school diploma and enough street smarts to make it as far from his father as possible.

It's been nearly ten years since then, and now his father is in town. Buck quickly learns that some things haven't changed.

But other things have, and his family will help him realize that.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

JJK MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD:

3

2

1

i found this in my notes app and was like yeah i could post it. why not?

(BELOW)

My vision of what Megumi might say if he wrote a eulogy for Gojo and was probably mega sleep deprived:

I don’t think he’d willingly make any sort of public speech. this is quite ooc. Though honestly I think Megumi would agree with some of these points i don’t think he’d actually verbalise them. but fuck it. He isn’t real anyways lmao.

Gojo Satoru is not ‘The Strongest’. He was I guess at some point but not anymore because… well… he’s dead. I think Gojo would appreciate some jokes in this speech thing… but comedy and public speaking are two things I’m not great at and generally avoid so bare with me.

Gojo was a teacher, a mentor… whatever you want to say his job was he was really shit at it because he was so good at everything that teaching anything step by step was almost impossible. Somehow, he did well enough since i’m here talking to you guys and you guys are here listening.

Gojo, in general, pissed me off and I made sure he was aware of it. He was annoying in a sibling way. An older brother who was better, faster, stronger. He wasn’t around much when I was younger and calling him a parental figure would be a lie since when we first met he was basically as old as i am now. which is… weird… very weird… because back then he was an adult in my brain.

Knowing what I know now… about Gojo and my biological father as well as reflecting on what Gojo would call ‘Megumi’s Teenage Angst Era’, I’m surprised I didn’t end up the same way as my father.

(Megumi has to actually try not to laugh here. No one else finds this funny but Yuji gives a forced awkward laugh because he feels bad.) (Maki probably laughs a bit)

For some reason, this overpowered guy who could literally have the world do what he pleased because no one could stop him decided to be a teacher. What a dumbass? Seriously. Or… I mean… I guess I’m a dumbass for not seeing how much he chose to do to help us. Not only us as a collective, but as individuals.

I don’t really know what else to say except the fact that he cared. Do you know how important that is? When you’re a kid and no one gives a shit about you and you’re alone it sucks and it’s scary but then some tall dumbass with stupid white hair comes into your life and you can’t get rid of him… no matter how hard you try. A guy who can’t really cook or take you to school in the mornings. A guy who sometimes appears at the apartment you live at that he payed for. A guy who somehow manages to show up when you need him. No matter how hard I tried to push Gojo away he was always just… there. Well… not anymore but you get the point.

It’s quiet without him. That’s the biggest difference. I enjoy silence. I like being alone and by myself and I definitely make that clear to everyone I know. Gojo obviously chooses- chose to ignore this. It’s stupid… but sometimes I expect him to pull a stupid stunt and pop out of a box saying it was all a prank. I feel like he’s just one hallway away from disturbing any peace and quiet that settles over the rubble we pretend isn’t around us. But he’s not. He’s dead.

(Megumi becomes aware that he is actually speaking out loud in front of a group of people and not just to himself. He quickly gets back to the rough script he has on the scrap paper before him)

Gojo made so many of us feel like we have a purpose in life. Because when no one else believed in you he’d always make that infuriatingly stupid smirk and then say something equally as annoying and wise like ‘the only thing holding you back is yourself’ or ‘i know you have potential’ or even just ‘you’re doing great. keep going’. Honestly, it pissed me off because he was usually right. Not that i’d ever admit that to him. Not that… not that i really can admit it to him anymore.

Im tired. We’re all tired and I hate public speaking. I hope you didn’t expect me to go on about his achievements or whatever because then I think you either don’t know me or you never knew him.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Sunflower: Book 1, Chapter 9

Tom Hiddleston x OFC Series rated: M Chapter warnings: Tom sticks his foot in his mouth some? AN: Chicks have survived! We ordered 4, got 5 and they all hatched on V day and have Vday themed names. Chapter 8, Masterlist, Chapter 10 ~~~~~<3 “Let me be clear- I am committed for at least a year or until death. We’re married. I do not take that lightly.” It drove him mad that he had to keep saying it. When would she believe that it was more than just a whim? 

“Tom-”

“Part of being married is the sharing of resources and caring for each other. I care for you and I care for her. You don’t have to care about me- it would be nice but that may come in time.”

“What if you change your mind? What then?” 

Mia felt like screaming. She felt like running. She felt like crying. She felt like reaching out to him for comfort. Instead she sat stone still and board straight. 

“What if I let you find us some magical Las Vegas apartment, get us moved and three months from now you get tired of your secret American family and stop paying the rent?”

“I-” It was her turn to cut him off. 

“You’re right- I can’t afford anything better. I can’t afford food until Monday. If I let you in, let you change our lives and then you change your mind? We end up homeless. Hell, I can only afford this damn apartment because we’ve been there so long.” 

“I wouldn’t-”

“How do I know that? How can I trust that?” Mia’s frustration grew when her vision waved as her eyes grew teary. “You think I don’t want to give you a chance because you’re ugly or cruel or something. Any woman would die for this chance but I can’t. I’ve got a little girl who relies on me.” 

She harshly wiped away a tear that had the nerve to slip from her eye. 

“If I take a gamble and it’s a bust, she gets hurt. She ends up homeless. She ends up in state custody. She gets her heart broken too.” 

“I didn’t think of it that way.” 

She scoffed at him and he bristled at that, opening his mouth to try and defend himself. She started again before he had a chance to say anything though. 

“It’s my job to think of that. How can I trust a stranger, even a stranger I married on a whim, to not let some little girl who he’s known for even less time become homeless. How can I trust that you’re not going to suck her into your charm, make her see you as a father then walk away?”

“I don’t want to push her to see me as a father.” That was the easiest point to focus on first. “If that happens, it happens naturally. I’m not going to pretend that we don’t have a lot of things to decide on, to plan and work out but that will take time.”

Creeping fingers slid a few inches more. He wiggled his finger tips against hers, lacing them together. She didn’t pull away and he took that as a good sign.

 “Tom,”

“If I find an apartment- something modest but without gaps in the doors or maintenance crews that help themselves to tenant’s groceries, if I were to pay the lease up front for the year, would you consider it?”

“This is my life-” People would say she was using him, she knew that as much as she knew her name. 

“No, Mia- not any more.” His voice was soft, devoid of the harshness that had crept in. “It’s our life now. We get to decide what that looks like. We will go over what bills we’ll have, we’ll work together and come up with a plan that makes you feel safe and lets me feel assured that the two of you are safe.”

“I don’t want to use you.” She wanted to accept. 

Glancing at Sally, she knew for her daughter this sort of chance at financial security may never come again. If she allowed Tom to take care of them, even if things didn’t work out she could save her checks. 

“If I’m offering, insisting and fighting you to allow it, is that using me?”

“I’ll think about it, alright?” Mia ran her hand through her hair, scarping her nails along her scalp. “It’s just- It’s a lot, really fast.”

“I know.” 

~~~~~<3

She stood in the kitchen crying. There were boxes scattered in the living room to be taken to the trash later. Tom was upstairs reading who knows how many bedtime stories to Sally.

It felt weird to not be the one putting her to sleep. It felt good to have someone to help with simple tasks like bedtime. 

If she wasn’t careful, she could get used to this.

Realizing the refrigerator and freezer both had been standing open while she cried, for how long was anyone’s guess, she closed it. It was overwhelming, seeing the full shelves. Tom had kept his word, stocking the kitchen in a way she had never been able to do before. 

There were drinks and snacks. Brand new pest proof bins held rice, flour, sugar and dried pastas. A electric kettle sat on her counter and a variety of teas were stacked next to her coffee pot. 

Things for him. Things for her husband. 

“Are you alright?” Tom asked softly from the foot of the stairs. “She’s asleep.” 

Mia couldn’t do anything but nod at first. 

“It’s just a lot.” She said weakly. Everything was hitting her now. Regardless of if she wanted to or not, she was going to have herself a good cry right now.

“Is it?” Tom wasn’t sure what to say as he approached. 

“No one’s ever- I’ve never. We’ve never had this much before.”

Tom moved slow, giving her chance after chance to tell him to back up, to stop, to give her space or go away. Large hands rested on her shoulders as he looked down to her.

 “Does he not provide for his daughter?” That was a question that had been rattling around in his brain since he saw the picture. 

“He’s supposed to pay child support but he hasn’t in over a year. It’s just been me and when Ashley can, she’ll help.”

Slowly, Tom pulled her to his chest. “It’s okay.” He soothed. 

It felt good to be held by him. The moment stretched on as she tried to keep her tears to a minimum. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked as she pulled herself away from him. 

There were things to do and crying in his arms wasn’t something on her schedule. 

~~~~~<3

They sat, cups of tea on the small table in front of them. Tom flipped through apartment listings only to have every single option turned down. Frustration built in him with each apartment, nice and basic, turned down. “Why? They’re all nicer than this place.” 

She sat in silence as he took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It wasn’t her intention but she was being difficult. 

“I’m sorry.” And she was, to a degree. “It’s just so much.’ 

“I’m just going to pick some and we’ll look.” Tom decided, locking his phone and setting it facedown on the table in front of them. “There’s still a lot to decide. We can put the utilities on auto pay so you don’t-”

“I don’t want you to pay for everything.” It would be better to just shut up and let him pay everything, she knew that. It would allow her to save more for when this inevitably falls apart but she just couldn’t make herself feel okay doing it. “Let me at least keep the electric and internet- the electric will vary during the year and the internet isn’t a necessity.”

“I can send money for groceries-” 

“If I’m not paying rent, groceries shouldn’t be a problem.” 

For the first time in their marriage, they sat and talked into the night. The topics were not fun ones. They talked of financial histories, debts, education and potential future earnings. They talked about the cost of managing their individual households.

Tom wasn’t rich in the realm of his career but compared to her, he was far more financially secure. And unlike her, his career was ramping up and reaching for the sky. Tom swore to her, regardless of what direction his career took, if their attempt at a marriage did not work he would not leave her financially hurt but she struggled still to put faith in him.

~~~~~<3

Midnight quickly approached and Mia’s yawns were coming more and more frequently. They were so different in backgrounds that simply learning about each other’s past ate up more of the night.

“You should go to bed.” Tom’s hand reached out for hers. “It’s been a long day.”

“You’ve been up just as long as me.” Mia countered though she still stood up, slipping her hand out from under his. 

“I need to be up a bit longer yet.” He wanted nothing more than to go up to bed though. “I’ve got to make some calls back home. Face the music and take my licks.” 

“Are you in trouble with someone?” 

“No, not really.” Tom thought twice about his answer after he said it. “Probably but hopefully he’s cooled off by now. My publicist wasn’t so happy with me. I blocked him after breakfast yesterday.”

“He knows about-?” She waved her hand to try and encompass the whole situation.

“Yeah, at least some of it.” 

“I didn’t know you told anyone yet.” It was weird. They had built their relationship, small as it was, in a bubble where in a lot of ways he was just a normal man who was caught up in a Las Vegas situation fit for a Lifetime movie.

“I didn’t.” 

Tom knew he needed to face reality head on. Luke would tell him how important it was to get ahead of the story and now it’s been two days. 

“There are pictures of us at a bar and of me with you in your gown. I don’t know how much the world knows but I did tell Luke about our marriage.” 

“It would be better for you if we didn’t do this.” Mia felt the earth tilting under her feet as what he was inched in again. 

“Maybe, but that’s not something I want to change.” 

Mia had so many questions but she didn’t know how to voice any of them. “Marriage records here are public,” was all she could think to say. 

“That’s not a problem- I was planning on telling the truth. Or at least a version of it.”

“What’s that mean?” 

“I like to keep my private life private. We’ll probably present us as something recent but not same day recent.”

“Should I stay up too?” Mia didn’t know what her role in this would be. 

Tom stood and walked over to where she lingered by the stairs. He was touched at how she had opened up to him, slight though it was. It was there, he could feel it- the little buds that could maybe grow into the roots of a real marriage. 

Reaching out, he took her hand in his. These small acts of affection were easier to accept each time they happened but it was clear they still left her uncomfortable. It still very much felt like pretend to her. Mia struggled to believe he felt anything but duty in them. 

“Go on up to bed. I’ll be up as soon as I get done.” 

~~~~~<3

~~~~~<3

Stand still. 

Stand straight. 

Write slow and careful. 

Be neat. 

Breathe. 

Mia checked and double checked her spelling on the form. She sucked on a breath mint, feeling like she was a teenager again trying not to get caught. If they didn’t pull this part off, the cards would come crashing down.

When she was sure, through the muddy sludge of her alcohol steeped mind, she handed the form to Tom. He filled his portion out just as methodically. Every time he would glance up at her, his concentration was broke by a wide grin. 

He was an old hand at filling out forms. Muscle memory took care of what Mia had spent ages overthinking. 

She followed his lead as they returned to the counter. Identification was handed over and then it was time to wait. They stood stoic and still. Every bone in their body wanted to dance, to move and to be in the moment. 

Toms fingers wove through hers. He placed a chaste kiss on the back of her hand. Softly, he told her things that went in one ear and out the other, lost in the sound of blood rushing. 

“Here’s your packet. Identification is inside it.” The woman behind the counter sounded like she was reading from the dictionary to Mia. 

But not how Tom would sound reading from one. Tom would somehow sound breathtaking reading a dictionary. 

“Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.” 

“Thank you,” Tom said before leaning down and kissing Mia on her cheek. 

They had pulled it off. The woman either didn’t notice or simply didn’t care that the two standing in front of her were not just intoxicated but very intoxicated. This was the one test they had to pass and they did.

“We’re going to get married.” Mia leaned into Tom’s arm as they walked out of the building and into the magical night lights. 

“Let’s go make you Mrs. Hiddleston.” Tom whispered, grin wide was he wrapped his arm around her waist. 

“Let’s go get married.” She smiled up at him, trusting him to guide her safely. 

Tom couldn’t help but glance down at the woman tucked into his side. The flashing lights reflected off her warm brown hair and danced in her eyes. 

He felt something he had never felt before when he looked at her, when she smiled up at him. It could just be the alcohol but he didn’t think so. In his heart, he knew what he felt was a love pure and simple. It was a love he had been chasing and seeking since he had become a man. 

It was a love he needed logic and fear to step aside for him to see clearly. 

Love was waiting for him, he had to just be willing to see it. 

~~~~~<3

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Ps: Sorry not sorry for the blog getting flooded in the next few weeks with baby chicken pictures, occasional dog videos and personal nonsense. Simply put, my pets are fucking cute and need to be seen. But also spring is coming and planting season is quickly approaching.