pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

Finally kinda managed to do something i was trying to do earlier in the year.

if anyone has seen Archer and how they do that but where someone says a sentence and the next scene, completely separate answers that. it’s a really cool transition.

i finally managed to utilise that IN MY WRITING?! (instead of doing study oops) but still yippee!!! Get excited for when i maybe work up the courage to ever post my things online to those 3 people who visit my page :P

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

If i did Whumptober in november (after my exams) would that be ok?

Guys i am going through a minor AO3 author moment rn. getting COVID in 2024?! being out of commission for a week and now only having 7 days to cram for my uni exams. there is no god but if there was i doubt he could save me.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

i do not ‘write stories’ or ‘write fanfiction’ i am merely (trying very hard) to record what the little guys in my head are projecting over my eyes.

Did the idea start with me imagining a scenario? yeah sure. Do i have control over where the plot is going at this point? absolutely not.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

sometimes i’ll be reading my favourite trope. You know, the strongest, invincible character who is litterally untouchable and therefore treated as such emotionally/mentally, finally breaks down.

But then i see the line “I’m not strong enough” or something along that line and the words ‘boy genius reference’ echo in my head really loudly.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

High school english poetry study was all like:

“visceral imagery” this and “assault of the senses” that.

ok.

give me more of that shit. come on. i love that stuff where it’s just descriptions that actually make you feel just as overwhelmed and bombarded as the character.

show don’t tell? idek what that means anymore just keep telling me or showing me. give me those visceral sensory descriptions bro.

Blood on their clothes? Ok.

is it wet or sticky or crusty? can they feel it squelching as their clothes move? or is it the lingering metallic taste? (i could be wrong about the taste of blood but idc tell me)

im very stupid and need to be told step by step how to do things. tell me what i’m supposed to be picturing in my head right now plz. or let me understand the inner monologue! OMG INNER MONOLOGUE (i love stream of consciousness shit because as you can see my thoughts are not linear lmao)

Give me the opposite of those panic attack grounding questions. make the descriptions so unbearable that i wouldn’t want to ground myself if i was there.

open up the character’s brain and let me hear what they are thinking. because physical injuries are one thing but the internal panic is what make or breaks the scene and - more literally - the character right?

ok. that was a lot. i feel like i was yelling in this post but i need content to absorb that isn’t my lectures.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

i was looking through the random shit i’ve written and forgotten about in my notes app and found a few things i tend to use (maybe a little too much).

silence

silence my beloved. RAAGHH-

because it can be the most terrifying eerie thing. it follows and latches onto surfaces, gets caught in a your throat only to be broken by something never really paid attention to like fabric brushing against fabric or something obvious like glass shattering.

it can be warm and safe. the calm after a battle where two character can finally just lie in each other’s arms and forget about the stress of life and death.

it’s so versatile.

i’ll post examples… maybe

i’m struggling to get my thoughts from my brain to make sense in an actual sentence and then translate it to a keyboard.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

what does human weapon mean in the whump genre? Because at first i was like “ah yes… sentient weapon? like a sword with consciousness?” but i think upon seeing further posts i’m incorrect.

I tried to look it up but still i am confused. Does the human weapon need to be physically altered to be a weapon (in the sense of having a gun arm or something)?

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

so what’s with media just kinda skipping over the eerily silent car ride back from a failed mission?

(GOD DAMN IT I WROTE AN ENTIRE PARAGRAPH AND IT DELETED. hold up)

Like the two characters sitting there just in this heavy silence. they’re supposed to be the strongest. Right? But right now they’re just shells of beaten battered scarred skin. Just two kids and the soft hum of an engine and the fragmented pieces of the day leaking over their senses. the sound of a gun as the car hits a speed hump. the smell of blood coating their clothes. crusted in their hair, uncomfortably embedded under fingernails, smeared across their face. Eyes half lidded, dazed, unfocussed. sounds muffled and distant. vision blurry. everything seems a little further away than it should be. trying desperately to anchor themselves to reality but the only thing they can feel is the way the blood soaking through their shirt is sickeningly sticking the fabric to their skin and how it almost inaudibly squelches every time the car jostles slightly over the uneven road.

You know… like… ‘damn this is *my* fault that we failed’ or ‘i need to be there for my mission partner’ but they’re too out of it and in shock to actually speak.

Anyone?

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

sometimes people ask me how i write or draw or animate and honestly i have no clue

WRITING or ANIMATING:

- an idea or sentence is beamed into my brain and it physically will not leave until i make it or write it (hence the reason for this account lmao)

DRAWING:

- start… idk get possessed or something… oh hey this actually looks good HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

hellooooo (i have no idea what i’m doing here)

Pronouns: He/Him

Im not a minor.

DO NOT message me sexual stuff, random links or anything like that

DO feel free to ramble and share thoughts about things

idek what imma be posting about

I won’t be posting explicit or sexual content because i’m just not into it lmao

i’ve had tumble for a while but now i’ve finally made an account to post stuff

i’m tired of merely writing shit out in my notes app

there’s just something about sharing random ideas with people on the internet and not having to see them irl

yippee digital footprint