pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

JJK MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD:

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i found this in my notes app and was like yeah i could post it. why not?

(BELOW)

My vision of what Megumi might say if he wrote a eulogy for Gojo and was probably mega sleep deprived:

I don’t think he’d willingly make any sort of public speech. this is quite ooc. Though honestly I think Megumi would agree with some of these points i don’t think he’d actually verbalise them. but fuck it. He isn’t real anyways lmao.

Gojo Satoru is not ‘The Strongest’. He was I guess at some point but not anymore because… well… he’s dead. I think Gojo would appreciate some jokes in this speech thing… but comedy and public speaking are two things I’m not great at and generally avoid so bare with me.

Gojo was a teacher, a mentor… whatever you want to say his job was he was really shit at it because he was so good at everything that teaching anything step by step was almost impossible. Somehow, he did well enough since i’m here talking to you guys and you guys are here listening.

Gojo, in general, pissed me off and I made sure he was aware of it. He was annoying in a sibling way. An older brother who was better, faster, stronger. He wasn’t around much when I was younger and calling him a parental figure would be a lie since when we first met he was basically as old as i am now. which is… weird… very weird… because back then he was an adult in my brain.

Knowing what I know now… about Gojo and my biological father as well as reflecting on what Gojo would call ‘Megumi’s Teenage Angst Era’, I’m surprised I didn’t end up the same way as my father.

(Megumi has to actually try not to laugh here. No one else finds this funny but Yuji gives a forced awkward laugh because he feels bad.) (Maki probably laughs a bit)

For some reason, this overpowered guy who could literally have the world do what he pleased because no one could stop him decided to be a teacher. What a dumbass? Seriously. Or… I mean… I guess I’m a dumbass for not seeing how much he chose to do to help us. Not only us as a collective, but as individuals.

I don’t really know what else to say except the fact that he cared. Do you know how important that is? When you’re a kid and no one gives a shit about you and you’re alone it sucks and it’s scary but then some tall dumbass with stupid white hair comes into your life and you can’t get rid of him… no matter how hard you try. A guy who can’t really cook or take you to school in the mornings. A guy who sometimes appears at the apartment you live at that he payed for. A guy who somehow manages to show up when you need him. No matter how hard I tried to push Gojo away he was always just… there. Well… not anymore but you get the point.

It’s quiet without him. That’s the biggest difference. I enjoy silence. I like being alone and by myself and I definitely make that clear to everyone I know. Gojo obviously chooses- chose to ignore this. It’s stupid… but sometimes I expect him to pull a stupid stunt and pop out of a box saying it was all a prank. I feel like he’s just one hallway away from disturbing any peace and quiet that settles over the rubble we pretend isn’t around us. But he’s not. He’s dead.

(Megumi becomes aware that he is actually speaking out loud in front of a group of people and not just to himself. He quickly gets back to the rough script he has on the scrap paper before him)

Gojo made so many of us feel like we have a purpose in life. Because when no one else believed in you he’d always make that infuriatingly stupid smirk and then say something equally as annoying and wise like ‘the only thing holding you back is yourself’ or ‘i know you have potential’ or even just ‘you’re doing great. keep going’. Honestly, it pissed me off because he was usually right. Not that i’d ever admit that to him. Not that… not that i really can admit it to him anymore.

Im tired. We’re all tired and I hate public speaking. I hope you didn’t expect me to go on about his achievements or whatever because then I think you either don’t know me or you never knew him.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

I appreciate trans headcanons but guys sometimes it’s really obvious when the person writing hasn’t done research and/or isn’t trans.

no hate but like the ‘ah yes i put bandages over my chest and now i’m completely flat and this doesn’t cause any discomfort or restriction of movement’ especially in a training or fighting scenario? mmmm… c’mon.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

Gojo Satoru training/growing up in the Gojo Clan.

None of this is cannon. It’s just an idea that won’t leave my mind.

Talisman:

Talismans that restricted him from accessing his technique were attached to his body via staples or sewed on etc.

At first it was to ‘prevent Gojo from harming others accidentally’ since a child with that much power would be insanely dangerous. Or at least that’s how they phrased it to him. Potentially, the Clan set up a situation so that Gojo (as a young kid) accidentally harmed someone he cared about as a mechanism to make him more willing to oblige and security for the future when he would be able to use infinity. This way, despite physically being able to prevent the attachment of the talisman, they could use the implanted fear for cooperation. (?)

Ultimately, it was just another way to exorcise control over Gojo.

He wouldn’t be able to fight back against the Gojo Clan with his techniques, rendering him a mere child which is easier to handle and control.

The talisman would be attached somewhere on his back so he wouldn’t be able to rip them off.

As time progressed and Gojo got older / more powerful (probably between ages 10 - 14) they would experiment with what they could restrict or enhance using the talisman. E.G. Increasing pain or damage received etc.

Even though Gojo didn’t know how to use RCT, they would always have one blocking RCT just in case. Maybe they wanted him to suffer or maybe they were training his pain tolerance.

By restricting his access to his Six Eyes, he had technically lost a sense. Meaning he was less aware of his surroundings and more on edge.

However, it did reduce the migraines his technique would give him.

The only thing preventing the Gojo Clan from engraving the seals/talisman scriptures onto his skin was the risk that it’d scar and Gojo would lose access to his techniques forever. They couldn’t do that because then he wouldn’t be the perfect weapon anymore. 🙄

Since he grew up being rigorously trained without his techniques, it meant that if he ever found himself in a situation where he couldn’t access them then he’d be fine (theoretically). It also made Gojo enjoy using his techniques so much and experimenting and learning how to use them in ways never seen before. It was something that went from being associated with punishment and pain to freedom. (yippee)

I had more to say but i forgot. Also my words were so inadequately expressed here i’m so sorry. brain moving too fast and there are only buzz words so typing it out in full sentences is quite hard lmao.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

I’ve been rewatching JJK (Jujutsu Kaisen) on my quest to rope more people into my hyperfixation and i noticed something.

This won’t have any manga spoilers and is based on Season 1 and the Movie.

Theres a point where Yaga (The Tokyo Jujutsu Tech Principle and Gojo/Geto/Shoko’s teacher when they were students) is talking to the other principle (old fucker with the guitar who is a higher up member).

They are talking about Yuji. The other principle is talking about how dangerous Yuji might be and only sees him as Sukuna’s vessel. However, Yaga argues that, whilst he isn’t denying this fact, maybe Gojo is right about Yuji (or something along those lines). He then (*this is the important part*) talks about how he’s worried about messing up again. Yaga vaguely mentions thinking about things he *should’ve* or *could’ve* done to prevent something. As he is narrating this, it is done over an image of Geto Suguru. This, implying that he feels guilty about what happened to Geto.

Unlike Gojo, during Geto’s downward spiral, Yaga was an adult. He was most likely present on campus more than Gojo and should’ve (as the responsible adult and mentor) noticed something before Geto became a curse user.

I always kinda blamed Yaga and was mad that his character didn’t do anything / didn’t show any remorse for what had happened to his students. But it turns out I just didn’t pay attention enough in season 1 (since i mainly rewatch season 2 haha)

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

Finally kinda managed to do something i was trying to do earlier in the year.

if anyone has seen Archer and how they do that but where someone says a sentence and the next scene, completely separate answers that. it’s a really cool transition.

i finally managed to utilise that IN MY WRITING?! (instead of doing study oops) but still yippee!!! Get excited for when i maybe work up the courage to ever post my things online to those 3 people who visit my page :P

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

If i did Whumptober in november (after my exams) would that be ok?

Guys i am going through a minor AO3 author moment rn. getting COVID in 2024?! being out of commission for a week and now only having 7 days to cram for my uni exams. there is no god but if there was i doubt he could save me.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

i do not ‘write stories’ or ‘write fanfiction’ i am merely (trying very hard) to record what the little guys in my head are projecting over my eyes.

Did the idea start with me imagining a scenario? yeah sure. Do i have control over where the plot is going at this point? absolutely not.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

sometimes i’ll be reading my favourite trope. You know, the strongest, invincible character who is litterally untouchable and therefore treated as such emotionally/mentally, finally breaks down.

But then i see the line “I’m not strong enough” or something along that line and the words ‘boy genius reference’ echo in my head really loudly.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

High school english poetry study was all like:

“visceral imagery” this and “assault of the senses” that.

ok.

give me more of that shit. come on. i love that stuff where it’s just descriptions that actually make you feel just as overwhelmed and bombarded as the character.

show don’t tell? idek what that means anymore just keep telling me or showing me. give me those visceral sensory descriptions bro.

Blood on their clothes? Ok.

is it wet or sticky or crusty? can they feel it squelching as their clothes move? or is it the lingering metallic taste? (i could be wrong about the taste of blood but idc tell me)

im very stupid and need to be told step by step how to do things. tell me what i’m supposed to be picturing in my head right now plz. or let me understand the inner monologue! OMG INNER MONOLOGUE (i love stream of consciousness shit because as you can see my thoughts are not linear lmao)

Give me the opposite of those panic attack grounding questions. make the descriptions so unbearable that i wouldn’t want to ground myself if i was there.

open up the character’s brain and let me hear what they are thinking. because physical injuries are one thing but the internal panic is what make or breaks the scene and - more literally - the character right?

ok. that was a lot. i feel like i was yelling in this post but i need content to absorb that isn’t my lectures.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

i was looking through the random shit i’ve written and forgotten about in my notes app and found a few things i tend to use (maybe a little too much).

silence

silence my beloved. RAAGHH-

because it can be the most terrifying eerie thing. it follows and latches onto surfaces, gets caught in a your throat only to be broken by something never really paid attention to like fabric brushing against fabric or something obvious like glass shattering.

it can be warm and safe. the calm after a battle where two character can finally just lie in each other’s arms and forget about the stress of life and death.

it’s so versatile.

i’ll post examples… maybe

i’m struggling to get my thoughts from my brain to make sense in an actual sentence and then translate it to a keyboard.

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

what does human weapon mean in the whump genre? Because at first i was like “ah yes… sentient weapon? like a sword with consciousness?” but i think upon seeing further posts i’m incorrect.

I tried to look it up but still i am confused. Does the human weapon need to be physically altered to be a weapon (in the sense of having a gun arm or something)?

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

so what’s with media just kinda skipping over the eerily silent car ride back from a failed mission?

(GOD DAMN IT I WROTE AN ENTIRE PARAGRAPH AND IT DELETED. hold up)

Like the two characters sitting there just in this heavy silence. they’re supposed to be the strongest. Right? But right now they’re just shells of beaten battered scarred skin. Just two kids and the soft hum of an engine and the fragmented pieces of the day leaking over their senses. the sound of a gun as the car hits a speed hump. the smell of blood coating their clothes. crusted in their hair, uncomfortably embedded under fingernails, smeared across their face. Eyes half lidded, dazed, unfocussed. sounds muffled and distant. vision blurry. everything seems a little further away than it should be. trying desperately to anchor themselves to reality but the only thing they can feel is the way the blood soaking through their shirt is sickeningly sticking the fabric to their skin and how it almost inaudibly squelches every time the car jostles slightly over the uneven road.

You know… like… ‘damn this is *my* fault that we failed’ or ‘i need to be there for my mission partner’ but they’re too out of it and in shock to actually speak.

Anyone?

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

sometimes people ask me how i write or draw or animate and honestly i have no clue

WRITING or ANIMATING:

- an idea or sentence is beamed into my brain and it physically will not leave until i make it or write it (hence the reason for this account lmao)

DRAWING:

- start… idk get possessed or something… oh hey this actually looks good HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!

[pouringoutmythoyghtsbefore1drown]

hellooooo (i have no idea what i’m doing here)

Pronouns: He/Him

Im not a minor.

DO NOT message me sexual stuff, random links or anything like that

DO feel free to ramble and share thoughts about things

idek what imma be posting about

I won’t be posting explicit or sexual content because i’m just not into it lmao

i’ve had tumble for a while but now i’ve finally made an account to post stuff

i’m tired of merely writing shit out in my notes app

there’s just something about sharing random ideas with people on the internet and not having to see them irl

yippee digital footprint