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#that is not what you agreed to
furiousgoldfish · 2 years
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Thankfully, I have been able to move away from an abusive environment and heal a lot. However, for reasons completely unknown to me, everyone in this new place has started making me the villain of their story, no matter what I do. At school, I am accused of being a bully towards my friends, even though said friends have said time and time again I haven't bullied them. Teachers have even threatened to get me expelled for said bullying that didn't. even. happen! The parents of my friends call me a bad influence on their children for teaching them to stand up to oppression at school and at home. I feel like they just feel threatened by how I'm able to see through the bullshit and help my friends do the same. My boyfriend, one of the first people to show me consistent kindness despite my trauma symptoms, has become overly reliant on me, to the point I'm expected to act as his second mom. Whenever I refuse to, he, his parents and almost everyone else actually responsible for him gets mad at me for "not fulfilling my duties". I'm not sure what they mean? Am I really solely responsible for my boyfriend's wellbeing and safety? I can barely take care of my own. There is also no reciprocity, if I ever need help, I'm completely ignored and even ridiculed for asking.
I feel like everyone hates me and I can't figure out why. I tried really hard to be a kind and generous person, but if this is what I get, I'm tired of trying.
It sounds like there's a nasty smear campaign going around targeting you, or several of them. Someone might be telling lies about you to put you in a bad position, out-compete you, or as a form of revenge. This is something that will sometimes happen even to non-abused people, but to us it feels more personal, and more like an extension of our personal nightmares.
I think you're completely right on how nasty people are feeling threatened by you because you can see thru their bullshit, and it is in fact, common for such people to take measures to get rid of you (such as spreading lies and smear campaigns behind your back). Try figuring out where this rumor came from and who started spreading it, if you can ask people where they got this information and they admit it, you might be able to find the source and things might start making more sense.
You are not responsible for your boyfriend's well being, it sounds to me, from just this info, that he might have been kind to you at the start, (or consistently for a while) only to get you in a position where you'd feel responsible for his well being, knowing that he can turn other people against you or use sensitive information against you, the second you don't do as he wants you to. It doesn't sound like he's being kind anymore, because a kind person would not pick off an abuse victim and claim this person now responsible for my well being. He's not your baby, he's not your child, you are not responsible for his well being. And if there's no reciprocity, it's possible that this is not a good or beneficial relationship anymore, failure to reciprocate anything back, and being ridiculed for asking, is grounds for a breakup (if you decide on one, I know this isn't easy). It's also an awful thing to do to you.
I understand it's extremely frustrating and tiring to deal with all of this at once, and it feels like the situation will not get better. But, if you can isolate each one of these issues and deal with it separately, and understand it comes from separate sources that actually have nothing to do with who you are as a person, what your life is being shaped like, or what the future holds for you, it might be easier to see that this isn't a proof that life will always be awful. It might take a while to find a place where you can be only around people who see you in a human and positive way, and who would never try to make you responsible for things you cannot control, or should be responsible for. This is, however, really tough, and I'm so sorry you have so many sources of stress and guilt at once. I hope you find a place in your life where you can rest, and gather enough strength to stand for your rights and dismiss the bullshit.
It sucks to feel so hated and stressed, but you don't deserve any of it. And there will be people who will see you and appreciate you without insane expectations.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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License to Kitty.
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zany to me how these um actually nihilists like to pretend that "um actually love/friendship/cooperation/kindness isn't real bc we evolved that way to benefit ourselves as a species..." um YES? that's also where tool use comes from? that's where cooking comes from? am i supposed to think social bonds & tool use & cooking aren't "real" because they evolved over time instead of appearing fully formed from the ether?
sorry u can't enjoy things. im a superior being twirling a fork in my bowl of delicious noodles whilst staring in adoration at the world
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verflares · 6 months
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(click for higher quality!) draconified link concept ive been chipping away at this past week ..... here's my funny little compendium concept for him:
"A heroic spirit has taken the form of this bestial dragon. Unlike it's kin, this creature exhibits an extremely aggressive disposition. It appears highly territorial, and will relentlessly chase down those who disturb its skywide patrols - of which it seems to be endlessly searching for either a long-time vassal or foe. Unfortunately, it seems the spirit within has long since forgotten exactly who it was looking for…"
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sourscratched · 10 months
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quick comix of the little creatures
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bet-on-me-13 · 1 month
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The Ambassador
So! It was finally happening. After Years of Pleading with the Guardians and other Ruling Bodies of the Galactic Community, the Justice League had finally gotten then to agree to create an Alliance with Earth.
With an Alliance, Earth would gain the Protection of Multiple Empires and The Guardians, which would mean an end to the Constant Alien Invasions they faced. There was also the legal opening of Trade Routes between Planets to exchange Technology and Resources on the Galactic Scale.
Of course Earth would return the Favor, legally being able to defend it's Allies with its unusually large population if Superheroes and quickly advancing Tech, while also trading Tech and Resources between Planets.
Of course the battle was not entirely won yet.
They still needed to begin Negotiations to see if both sides would even agree to the Alliance in the First Place, as well as decide on the specifics of the Treaty. The United Nation's would decide on Ambassadors to represent the different countries, while the different Alien Governments would send an Ambassador Each.
When the Ambassadors arrived, they asked to be introduced to the Representatives of the Planet. Except, they claimed that there was a missing Member.
They claimed that there was one more Major Kingdom on the Planet, the most Powerful One, which they felt must be at the Negotiations.
When asked who this missing Ambassador was, they simply replied, "King Phantom of the Infinite Realms, he and a Shard of his Kingdom reside on this Planet, do they not?"
Now they are working around the clock to find this missing Kingdom, because the Alien Ambassadors refused to negotiate without the most powerful Kingdom at the Table, and they woud not wait forever.
Just who was this "King Phantom", and why had he not revealed himself yet?
...
Sam and Tucker sat on the Couch in their apartment, staring at the TV as the Chosen Representatives for America finished their Speech. Apparently the Peace Talks had been put on Hold for a few more days as they did some last minute preparations. Something about making their Guests more comfortable before they began discussing politics.
"Hey Danny, they're delaying the Negotiations for a few more days." Sam called over to the Kitchen.
"Aw, what?!" Shouted Danny from the Kitchen, sounding extremely disappointed, "I just finished making all the Popcorn!"
"I know Honey, its too bad." Tucker comforted his Partner, "Let's marathon Star Trek instead, how about that?"
Danny slumped out of kitchen and into the Couch between them, steaming bowl of Popcorn in his Lap, "I guess. We can make good use of all this popcorn at least."
Sam patted him on the arm, "Hey it's okay, the Talks will just take a few more days."
Danny shrugged, "Yeah, you're right. Man, what I wouldn't give to be in that Room."
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jakeperalta · 3 months
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* e.g. in interviews/social media saying things like "I played this scene as x character being in love with y character" making it canon that x loves y, or "I view x as bisexual" even if they aren't bi within the show itself, or just general statements on backstory/details that aren't included within the show
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inkskinned · 1 year
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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aesthetic-uni · 1 year
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Miles “Who’s Morales” vs Gwen “Gwwwwanda” vs Pavtir “You seem like a nice young woman I do not know” FIGHT
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montereybayaquarium · 1 month
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Ever wonder where our green sea turtles go when they’re not in the Open Sea exhibit? 🐢❓🤔
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Join Aquarium Biologist Kayla as she takes you behind the scenes of our largest exhibit.
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Learn about target training, what goes into a sea turtle's salad, and the benefit of back scratches in this turtley awesome video about our two green sea turtles, 49 and 59.
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Learn more about green sea turtles
youtube
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bedforddanes75 · 2 months
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im not american but some of you guys are just fucking stupid ong what do you MEAN youre not gna vote because you disagree with like one part of what youre voting for. like okay me when im fucking thick
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canisalbus · 4 months
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I swapped them around in a silly doodle
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.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
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puppetmaster13u · 3 months
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Prompt 331
Demon twins? Demon twins. 
Damian? Good at the assassin side of things, at least for a four year old, but Danyal? He’s okay, but he’s far better at things like poisons and bookkeeping. Which is honestly? Okay. They’re the League of Shadows, and sure a majority of the members are assassins, but it’s definitely not all there are. So? Danyal starts getting medical training. 
Not to say that either of the boys don’t know their fair share of violence and healing- it’s just better to let them play to their strengths. One doesn’t keep a league over centuries if they just have one type of warrior, or even just warriors. A variety is needed. 
So one gets trained more towards the business side of things. Damian may be better at wielding the weapons and killing- even if neither have had their first kill quite yet- but Danyal shows far more proficiency at acting, at masking who he is and gathering information. 
Damian, when he’s first sent to their Father, doesn’t mention his twin. Not because he’s jealous or hates him or anything like that. You just don’t talk about someone in an undercover mission in the League, and it’s not something he realizes isn’t a rule everywhere. 
Needless to say, the Bats have more than a mild freakout the first time Damian mentions a twin who will be coming to the manor now that his mission is over. 
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skateboardtotheheart · 3 months
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there is just something about the difference between edwin's love interests and having the cat king's reaction to edwin in hell being "i'll be waiting when he gets back" vs charles "no version of this where i don't come get you" rowland convincing a powerful trans-dimensional being to open a door to hell just so he could get him back
i am insane
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rose-colored-tarot · 7 months
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I think people have become so far removed from the natural world that "witnessing nature do it's thing" is often misinterpreted as having mystical significance.
This is not meant to be a judgement of anyone, no one here is the reason we live in a society away from the wilds. But I think that the little to no exposure people have with non-human spaces turns perfectly ordinary occurrences into something of a spectacle.
"I keep seeing large groups of crows around, who is trying to reach out?" Probably no one, crows are diurnal flock animals that actively seek out people because they are smart and know we have lots of stuff they can scavenge.
"This tree in my yard put out SO many flowers but seems to be dying now, did someone curse me?" Nope! Trees, particularly fruit trees, can stress bloom, where they put out tons of flowers in response to any number of stressors. Might wanna see if you can fix the stressors to save the tree.
"I was walking around during a storm and lightning hit a tree I was near, what does that mean?" It means you should thank your lucky stars you didn't get hit yourself. Lightning wants to touch the ground so badly and will zap the tallest thing around because that is the fastest way there.
"A cat gave birth under my house, do I have a familiar now?" Maybe. But under the house is dry, warm and relatively safe. She picked that spot because its a good place to keep her babies.
All of these things and more happen ALL THE TIME, we just aren't as aware of them as we used to be. Seeing nature in action is incredible and special in it's own right, just maybe not in the way you want it to be.
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