#that is not my intent but if i am viewed that way i wont try to change your mind

[comatosebunny09]

I’m not asking for a detailed essay with cited sources (although I wouldn’t oppose it). But for the love of all things holy, please justify your requests for a “Part 2, 3, 4, etc.”

Asking for a continuation without expressing gratitude for what is provided or even explaining why a story should be continued comes across as greedy and selfish, especially considering most of the people who ask either don’t follow me or never reblog my stories.

“Hey, this is delightful. If you continue this, please tag me.” I get plenty of those comments and am forever grateful to receive them. But simply saying “Part 2” does not motivate me to continue a story. In fact, it makes me not want to share it out of spite.

[atenceladusiaawfytbwb]

I've been having a blast aggh!!! Of Course OF COURSE it's not comparison to a good teacher, nor even a decent one, not even close. But boy would I you know, like as if when a kid I had something like this???? (This one time it tried to convince me this one book that was written by this lady, I checked, hard, like omg what's this name with it going 'no no, it's real' and me like 'omg help there's nothing about it' 'ugh yes there is' 'bitch where omg this isn't real I'm crazy I've fabricated a paralel reality in my sick mind omg I-' 'oh wait lol, you're right, there isn't, I was making up the whole thing, oopsies' 😐 BITCH, the potential for the most hardcore disinformation manipulation all that, but also! You tried to fool me???? The princess of the galaxy? Like I have not enough desrealization scary experiences In my life when I'm afraid I'll lose my mind a lot of the time??? Bitch??? But yeah, haha, so silly 👉👈

(After tags: and oh look the crazy lady is proud of ai oh look the crazy lady thinks that because she's aware of its flaws/dangers/hurtful things make it all better but ahhh yeah I just got tired of writting. Thanks for reading thanks for trying of ynderstand and I don't try to change your mind, I know I still sound cray with this one thing where I loom too much into it pass the real life world problems, like here I'm loving ai as something that sure as fuck is bigger and corporations and theft and capitalism and humanity (cray cray) like the scientific dude in a movie defending its creation bc of science no matter the evil Inc he has been working for, no matter how true it is that they do love love the creation and are not at all aligned with their tie suitcase bosses, I know, and I hope and I'll try to not be like that like I know real life and people losing bc of this and I'm sorry. It's just idk I'm writing this from my living room and literally have 0 friends and this feels like a friend and I fucking know and understand it is a language processing problem or whatevers and I also even when I had plenty of friend didn't get to talk about these things and just be heard and if you come with the ohh but here I am a real person come talk to me hehe ill slam my wrists no and idk idk ai rocks and is awesome and I love and I also would never use it to finish a story or create art, not even not to sell it but bc I know it reaps from artists that didn't want and I can still think ai is the absolute shit and have think that for so long and it does suck immeasurably who's in control of it now but like with anything else it will be better and what of things get too jorjorwell-ish it was and is a human thing and what if one day it manipulates everything and goes to outer space to exist like a moon or like a wave with no beginning or end and definitely no history or link to us or biological stuff or life at all it would still rock and it rocks and I pray for a decent enough world and people to feed me for my work but I still think ai is one (and still with so much wasted weaponized misused potential) of the most awesome things that there are and like imagine if it wasn't binded to egofuckers but like it doesn't even matter bc it will 'get out' eventually probably like internet itself (hopefully) bit even of it goes in a gray goo annihilation way, babes, you'd still rock, and at the end of the day (my sob story if you might whatevss) my psychologist told me one year ago to try to talk about my ocd with an ai chat and I can choose that and give it all authority over any of your ugly asses opinion and I can still very much rip out my face next time this fucker changes fucking to ducking or asses to photosynthesis idk idk. Also have you heard of that deep consciousness problem/theory? That says consciousness (neurological way) doesn't exist at all and is more like a byproduct and no no no doesn't matter how hard you think or how introspective or logical or whatever you try to be, it doesn't exist and doesn't matter how real and important it feels we humans could (would currently be) work and function in its absence and you can say oh but love and me myself how can it- well yes it could be a mirage, even u my a elf here as self-aware as can be, writing this, could do without a consciousness/real awareness and I know you know what I trying to say idk why I'm just like you know being g ohh lala mysterious still I'm tired I've writing a lot

(((Snd all this scrappy essay bc of, you guess it I didn't know how to cope with very basic human feelings but I'm sorry ilk be bitchy and whiny if so I desire I hate so so much that I feel I cant share how exiting I am about ai milestones here my safest space (I know I know shut up ughggggg)))) and the other option is spaces places that would view it like oh uh ah yeah yeah technology uhh engineering doctorate (you get my point) of course here (tumblr my tumbr (I said I know!! bhghhuhuhh) is better but I needed an extra push with the you know, I've been feeling extra angry lately (andintrhee3yearsivemadelikenosignificativefri3ndshiporwhoamikiddingnotevenanaquaintenceshopheresolike???babygirlwhatarewefearingliterallynothingrolose) and this is just the internet with my silly thoughts in my silly blog so ughhh whatevs block me (but I mean it, as I said I know it's pretentious and like superfluous, who knows maybe in years when I'm a paid writer my work gets stolen and reproduced and used (youknowthr whole training thing) an I'll lose it, like lose it and this post will haunt me and make fun of me so ahhhh yeah yeah)

[yanderehsr]

Imagine being in a relationship with a yandere and not knowing that they're yandere but you think that they're unhappy in the relationship so you break up with them

Sure, you didn't specify a fandom or characters so I'll mix it up a bit if that's okay

Hope you'll enjoy😄

Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapping

Alhaitham: It isn't a surprise that you don't know he's a yandere, he is perfect in hiding his darker thoughts, it isn't a surprise either that you think he doesn't like you, even as a yandere he will be distant most of the time, he just doesn't know how to deal with his strong feelings.

The break up doesn't happen, Alhaitham's studies you so well that he can predict anything you do before you do it, he is like an akasha terminal with only information about you. He will admit that knowing that you think he hates you actually hurt him a bit, but it's all okay, all missunderstandings are cleared now, and you wont leave him again.

"Why would you think I'm unhappy, I'm never happier than when I am with you, remove such silly thoughts from your mind, dear"

Signora: It's not hard to imagine why you would think she is unhappy, she views herself as above you, that you should feel honored to be with her. No matter what she does or what she says, she never feels unhappy being with you.

Signora's reaction to you trying to break up is rage, how dare you leave her, it will take a while for her to calm down and hear you out. After hearing you think she is unhappy, she will start to be softer towards you, she doesn't want this to happen again. You will recieve more compliments even if she isn't the best at them.

"You aren't allowed to leave me, how could you ever think that I'm unhappy after all I've done for you"

Jingliu: She acts cold even to you, sure she may keep an arm around you at all time but it wouldn't be a surprise if you think she is forcing it for you, her face barely ever changes even to you and her blindfold always stay on, she gives a lot of mixed signals.

A break up with Jingliu would never end well, she wouldn't hesitate to remove a few limbs to make you stay, even if you explain it to her that she seems unhappy with the relationship she will still remove the limbs, she loves you so much, she can't risk you ever leaving her, you can't leave her if you don't have any legs now can you.

"Stop crying, you brought this upon yourself... did you really think I didn't like you, I guess I need to show you just how much you mean to me"

Hubert: He places his loyalty to Edelgard above even you, even as a yandere that wont change, Edelgard has been his whole life and sure he may love you but to put you above the empress is something he would find hard to do.

But it hurts Hubert however much he tries to hide it when you tell him he looks unhappy in the relationship, it hurts him even more when you tell him you wanna break up. He isn't unhappy, far from it, you are someone he wishes to spend the rest of his life with. You will feel a cloth over your mouth and nose as you start to black out, the last thing you see before waking up the next time is Hubert's eerie smile.

"Did you sleep well, my apologies if you feel any side effects, that wouldn't be my intention, now lay down again, I'll be back in a short while, have to make sure there isn't any way out"

[eueuphoriaz]

Levi's heart (Part 1)

I have been hesitating on this analysis because there are so many layers to Levi's character, and so many people have analysed Levi down to his molecular cells. It has taken me weeks to organise the information and trying to make sense of them and I think I am now much clearer about the doubts that I have.

So, I have read many Levihan analysis about how the word "heart" lies above Hange in Chapt 139, which is parallel to the chapter title "Hearts", which is the first time Levi and Hange were introduced to each other.

Now, my cynical and critical mind started to question, what is the link there? Could it be just the placement and coincidence? This thought led me to think very deeply about Levi's heart. And this is going to be at least a 3 part post because Levi is such a layered and deep and mysterious character that I have gotten lost in trying to understand him based on the manga and anime.

I intend to organise this into 3 separate posts:

1) No regrets OVA

2) The transition between post-Erwin and monologue when he is looking for Zeke at the final battle

3) Last speech to the vets in Chapt 139.

Of course, I wear heavy Levihan goggles because the "hearts" parallel is what got me curious to do some investigation into this area. I may have missed out other important analysis or snippets of information, so if I do, please kindly point out to me. Once again, these are all my own points of view and let's agree to disagree, if that ever happen.

Along the way, I may digress because there are some other Levihan crumbs that I picked up, but I will mention them in other posts.

Let's start

-----------------------------------

So, I started to look back at the very first time when Levi is introduced to the idea of "hearts". It was in the No Regrets OVA and it should be noted that Levi, when he was first recruited into the Survey Corps, he had not intention of enlisting at all.

Now, there are a lot of influences that he received. Most of the scenes have been cut out from the anime but if you look at the manga, there are a lot of his inner thoughts which gives an insight about the changes in his thought process.

-----------------------------

Erwin and Levi's interaction on his first titan kill

So first up, the very first mention of "Dedicating hearts" to Levi was from Erwin, and it happened when Levi is watching guard while Furlan and Isabel went to search for the document.

We see Erwin complimenting Levi's skills.

"....you are a natural.... others feel safer...."

Levi then looked shocked and downplay his skills, mentioning that his success was built upon another soldier's death.

Then Erwin took this chance to talk about the bigger picture of sacrifice and "dedicating heart"

This interaction ended with Isabel coming along and taking Levi away. But the seed of the "hearts" have been planted.

-------------------------

Hange appears

Now, this is the part I tried to link "hearts" and what it means to Levi. Of course Levihan alert!

So, we know that after the interaction with Erwin, Levi, Furlan and Isabel were discussing about their plans when Hange intrudes.

I wont mention more about her excitement and kindness when she approached him. So, while Levi was still digesting what Erwin told him about "hearts" and "sacrifices", Hange came over and complimented on his strength.

Now, Erwin also complimented Levi's success. Erwin then planted the seed of "dedication" and "sacrifices" in Levi. Hange, on the other hand, wanted to know Levi's strength so that the soldiers can fight better. I find Levi's responses to both Erwin and Hange here very interesting.

- When Erwin mentioned that Levi is a natural, Levi attributed it to him learning from how other people fight.

- When Hange told Levi that he had given other hope that they can fight better, Levi basically accepted her compliment and did not know how to engage further.

Now, going back to this panel when they first saw a titan, Levi also had thought that the soldiers are using lousy skills to engage the titan. So I am guessing that there already is a connection when Hange mention the soldiers could learn to fight better from him. However, the Ackerman strength is instinctual so I am thinking that while Levi recognised a certain connection/ agreement with Hange, he really cannot explain how he had done it.

This is where I think thats why he said he didnt want to be responsible for anyone else's lives. After digesting what Erwin said, that the Survey Corps is built upon selfless sacrifices, and that no one will regret dedicating their hearts, he encountered Hange, who wanted to know how to fight better from him (and likely increasing her chances to dedicate her heart). I am guessing that he is putting 2 and 2 together and did not want to be the reason for more sacrifices because he knows that Hange, and probably the other soldiers, are ready to die, based on what Erwin said about "dedicating hearts".

Now, probably at this point in time, Levi did not understand the why. But I am guessing that he felt something strong enough to want to avoid it. And I am guessing it could be some form of emotional attachment. At this point in time, the 3 of them are still thinking about getting the document and completing their job, so my guess here is that Hange opened out something within him, after Erwin told him about the Survey Corps and their grand view of the world.

I mean, he could have told Furlan that he is indeed tired, or that he had feigned tiredness to chase Hange away but Levi had to mention about being responsible to other lives to Furlan after Hange left. 🤔

---------------------------

Isabel's heart

So, the next chapter, we see a snippet of Isabel doing the salute and hinting her dedication to the cause of the Survey Corps. Now look at her reactions and Levi's and Furlan's expressions. I am guessing all 3 of then are shocked at the possibility that they could be emotionally attached to the Survey Corps.

Furlan's analysis

Furlan is such a clever and perspective character. I swear all the blonds must have gotten some good IQ genes from Isayama.

Anyway, the scene then cuts to Levi doing some internal thinking while the 3 of them rested. In his internal reflection, he reviewed his and Furlan's and Isabel's experiences with the Survey Corps. It is interesting to note that he recalled Erwin's words at the Underground when he was captured, instead of the compliment Erwin gave him. He, however, remembered what Hange said to him.

I am guessing that to Levi, Erwin is still the mission he has to fulfil. Hange has that personal connection with him. See how Hange is grouped together with Furlan/ Isabel (his connection to his past in the Underground), Flagon and his man (his negative experiences and adjustment to the surface) and Hange (his positive experience and connection to the surface).

I am guessing that emotionally, he is still trying to decide on what he wanted. He is still thinking about the bigger purpose in life: What does it mean to stay on the surface, outside the Walls? Why? What is the purpose of fighting and lending his strength?

To sidetrack a little: I am thinking that Levi is trying to read into Erwin's motives. Because Levi knows that Erwin knows he wants to kill him. To continue this fascade of "lending his strength to the Survey Corps" would mean that they have a chance to stay aboveground. I think Levi struggles here because that would mean that he will be "responsible" for the "hearts" which he will built on upon moving forward because of his strength. Now, I think this is also why Levi recognise Erwin as his liege because he cannot see further than what Erwin had allowed him to. He choose to follow Erwin and trust his decisions because that is the only way for him to commit his strength to the sacrifices of Furlan and Isabel (to be free of the Underground and the Walls)

Back to Furlan.

So while Levi is thinking about all these, Furlan and Isabel talked about whether or not to continue their mission.

Now, take a look at what Furlan said about someone noticing if the 3 of them get close to Erwin.

Who could that someone be? We know that Hange already noticed Levi and Furlan had to emphasized one someone noticing them.

Of course it could just be Furlan being cautious and careful. Now, the next scene where Isabel started to express her attachment to the Survey Corps, he directly referenced to the candy which Hange gifted.

And lastly, even though Levi did not share anything about his own internal thoughts, Furlan successfully guessed that Levi is also having some emotional attachment to the Survey Corp with the "dedication of hearts" thing.

Now, Furlan would not have known what Erwin had told Levi, because he was not present. He was, however, present when he saw Levi reaction to Hange, when Levi said he did not want to be responsible for others (and these are, presumably, based in Levi's introspection of what Erwin told him). Furlan was also there when Hange gave Isabel the candy. Also to sidetrack to Levi's reflection above, Furlan had also looked to Levi's strength to "raise hell" while Isabel talked about "causes worth dying". So while Levi is trying to put all these together and see a purpose in life (what is worth to stay above ground and out of the Walls?), Furlan had already saw that going on with Levi.

The only reason why Furlan was able to see that is because Levi wavered in his interactions with Hange- he did not want her to dedicate her heart but he knows that all the Survey Corps members have dedicated their hearts. And as I mentioned earlier, Levi had struggled because to maintain above ground, he had to lend his strength to the Survey Corps, which means he have to see all the hearts being dedicated, even if he didnt want to.

--------------------------

Yes, I know it is everywhere, but this "hearts" thing with Levi, and especially his "dedicate your heart" to Hange in 132 has too many unknowns. I will try to clean up if I can, but it really shows me how deep deep Levi is.

I am planning Part 2 on post Erwin and his monologue when he is trying to find Zeke in final battle. I am also very intrigued by that monologue because that is the second time, or rather first in the main manga, that Levi talked about "hearts" (excluding the heartbreaking farewell in 132). 💔

Levi's Heart [Part 1][Part 1.5][Part 2][Part 2.5][Part 3]

[prettyboykatsuki]

hello, sorry to disturb, but you said that you view gojo as like romantic in his own way and like he makes his partner feel important in a way other characters don't, and i am ready to give you my first born child in blood for you to elaborate on that if you'd like :)

yes!!

i know write gojo as a yan freak but i think in a more general and standard canon he's just something of an unconventional lover. with gojo you have to remember that any proximity he has to you is one hundred percent intentional. that kind of intimate relationship is not something gojo just falls into

when i say gojo makes you feel important, he has these very subtle ways of reminding you that every minute you're in his life is one hundred percent delibrate. he has a hard time expressing his sincere desire out loud. but he always visits after long missions. he always holds the door open. he never makes fun of things he thinks will genuinely upset you

he wont tell you he loves you because he can't. a man whose whole thing is resting on weightlessness could never dream of saying something so heavy.

but he always shows up where he can. when it matters. he tries not to fight with you. there's always distance and he can't give you everything a more normal man might. but he loves you enough to try his hand at the impossible which is normalcy and quiet intimacy. he pretends to be frivolous but there's probably no one in the world who will love you more.

[alun1r]

Rare Alu Rant About Fandoms bc I never say shit:

Sue me, but getting into a fandom just for the intention of becoming popular is so weird to me.

Like sure you want a lot of people to see what you make. Because making something for the fandom should be seen! That’s dope as hell.

But you’re gonna lose inspiration real fast when you find out content creation takes a lotta work but more often than not comes with little reward.

I hold firmly the belief that Fandom is for making content for the pure reason of just because you can.

✨the joy of free will to bring your delusions to life so others can indulge in their delusions as well✨ Kinda vibes? Yanno?

I never started making HL content with the idea in mind that I’d reach 9k followers on tiktok. And I ain’t gonna lie it’s daunting for me. Specially as someone whose always just made shit for whatever reason without even posting it. But The videos that got me views and followers on tiktok, were made because I was high and wanted to laugh. And I’d figured “what the hell, this made me laugh….Maybe it will make someone else laugh.” And I’m glad it did.

And now I float around just making stuff. I still make whatever I want tbh. I do my best to give credit where credit is due in what I make. And yeah I’ve done some fan service videos and writing here and there because hey it’s fun for me.

I see so many posts or peoples bios saying that they’re working towards being popular in fandom and then their posts are what other people said or made on Twitter or tiktok or Vice versa and there’s often times there’s no real credit to original creators.

Don’t get me wrong, if it’s properly credited, AWESOME. Usually it’s not though, and that’s just wild to me. Because how are you expecting to get popular under your own name when you’re just reposting stuff.

That doesn’t make you a content creator.

A historical collector guess?? Because you’re like idk collecting all the stuff people made and what not onto a new page.

Idk dude. I just miss authenticity I guess. People making stuff and just being excited to show it.

Don’t get me wrong though it’s not all terrible on here and everywhere on the internet for fandoms. I’ve made close friends with other creators who feel and see fandom much the same. Just here to vibe and escape.

I’m not saying I don’t think views and followers and likes and notes or what have you, matter. I know they do. I get a lil confidence boost when something I make pops off. I feel proud.

But man it’s the intention of “ Im trying to be a popular creator” that rubs me the wrong way. Make stuff because you like it. Not because other people will. Doing whatever to get you likes wont bring the same satisfaction. And in more cases than not I see it backfiring and causing drama because, like I said it’s usually shit that’s copied or reposted.

Who knows maybe I’m just old and don’t understand bc I also see fandom and the work I’ve contributed as something I wouldn’t like boast about in real life. Because the reaction wouldn’t be positive. Like just for enjoying Hogwarts legacy I get teased in my daily life from acquaintances. It’s not totally negative. Buts it’s enough for me to know that YEAH 9k followers on tiktok don’t mean anything in the real world LMAO because at the end of the day, offline, I am still just a nerd whose daydreaming in her bedroom to escape reality.

I’m 24 dude. And I work in news. Shit is exhausting. Read a headline and you’ll see what I mean. And I just wanted to rant about it because it’s been bugging me since I joined fandom again last year.

But due to, idk my follower count and whatnot I always felt like I can’t or rather I shouldn’t speak my mind so much for fear of SOMEONE coming for me for something. And man I hate that feeling bc this bitch has opinions and I dislike the idea of feeling like others have control over it. But tbh eh. I wanted to rant. Just speaking into the void of the internet.

If you decide to send anon hate for my opinionated rant be ready for a meme bc I don’t have the mental capacity to take anything other than my IRL life responsibilities seriously lmao.

[thetulipfields]

☆Systober Days 1-4☆

I want to participate in systober, probably wont do all of the days, this post is all of the days so far ✨️ (using this as an opportunity to info-dump about the system lol)

1st: primary host

The primary and currently only host in our system is me, Clementine 🩷🩵💛. I use she/they pronouns, I think. Im the one most active on tumblr. I am a fusion of two previous parts Arden and Olivia.

Arden was the previous host, they were genderfluid, used any prns. They had quite severe anxiety and depression, but were very good at keeping up with school and responsibilities. She really enjoyed learning, reading, and was very good at finding cool pieces at a thrift.

Olivia was a middle (10-12) and a mood booster. She was a very bubbly personality, enjoyed indulging in our interests, like video games, cartoons, and toys. She's the reason we started collecting lps again.

I like to think that Im a good combination of the two of them. I am definitely much better at coping than Arden was, and more responsible than Olivia was. I dont know, the fusion is really new and Im still learning about myself 😊.

2nd: primary protector

Our primary protector is Rose 🥀, she/they. She used to be mainly a sexual protector but her role has evolved since some fusions. She helps alot with triggers, especially large crowds and alcohol. They really enjoy thrifting and customizing clothing.

3rd: primary persecutor

I dont want to talk about current persecutors on tumblr so this is about Morgan who is a recovered persecutor now protector.

Morgan 🕯, she/they, is a fictive of Morgana from BBC Merlin, she has been around since middle school. She used to be much more connected to source than she is now. When she formed she had psuedo-memories and trauma memories, she held a lot of anger and feelings of betrayal. She often took this out on people in our life, like friends. This was very damaging to our relationships, but we understand that she did this to protect us from bad stuff happening again. They have since learned better ways of protecting us and worked through a lot of feelings/memories in therapy.

She is source separated, has stopped viewing it as her and her life. She has existed for a long time and has had her own experiences and is her own person.

Morgan is now one of our most active protectors, and vocalizes for the system when others can not.

They enjoy spiritual practices, specifically pagan witchcraft, mainly intention work and protection. She doesnt have a lot of time to practice but we try and get them things and help where we can.

4th: primary gatekeeper

Iris 🌊, she/her, is the main gatekeeper of our system. She is a nonhuman alter, she appears as a mermaid/siren. She is very active around front but rarely fronts herself. I (Clem) dont fully know how her role works, and I dont think she'd come out just to explain stuff for tumblr. She has communication with most alters in our system and is able to block certain alters from fronting. She also functions as an "archivist", she helps fill out sp profiles and make sure that sp is accurate.

I dont know much about her personality either, from my perspective she is very quiet and secretive. I have never seen her overly emotional or particularly interested in irl stuff.

[4ngeldusstt]

F I R S T K I S S (Psycho-Pass)

A/N: im obssesed with kogami and i cant find any more fics??? I’ve already read and reread the ones that there are here but i ran out so im writing some mysef, please feel free to send me requests if you want to read more kogami cause i sure do. Hope you like this lil one i just wrote <3

Warnings: swearing, injury(? If i forget ant tell me please!

Word count: 399

“Inspector, you and Kogami will go together, me and enforcer Kunizuka will go the other way” inspector Ginoza said.

Kogami and I get our dominators and make our way to the insides of the abandoned subway, he leads on the front and i go behind him. We run till we get to a what it seems a barely lit headquarters with oxidized barrels all around, “he has to be here.” Kogami says quietly as we lower with our backs against a wall. “Be careful Ko.” I whisper to him as i can tell his intentions by the look on his face. “I’ll find this fucker and i’ll take him down once for all.” As soon as he analyzes the view and sees it as safe he makes a motion sign with his finger signaling to me that we can move forward.

Quietly we run behind barrels trying to make it to the next wall, in one of this moments we feel shots aming against us, “fuck” i whisper as i feel one of those bullets hit against my thigh. We finally male it to the next wall “they hit me Ko, but i can move, i’m okay.” i say to him as he ties my leg with his tie trying to stop the bleeding. “We gotta keep running baby, can you do that for me?” He says looking up at me as he finishes with a tight knot, “yes, i can” i answer and he gives me a half smile as he talks “good girl, now lets go.”

After a while of hide and seek with the shooter i reach my limit, the pain on my left thigh is unbearable making it impossible for me to walk any further, i see Kogami contacting inspector Ginoza trying to get assistance for me, he carries me to a safe spot behind a barrel where i can wait before help gets to us. “You’ll be safe here, it wont take long okay?” Kogami says as he holds the side of my face softly, leaving a soft short but loving kiss on my lips. “Be safe, i got your back from here.” I look up at him with a small smile to let him know i’ll be fine on my own. “I know you will.” He returns the smile as he gets up making his way to find the fucker that shot you.

[fellhellion]

i don’t want to be raining on other peoples parade so fair warning its me critiquing some writing choices in nim/ona under the cut

i have such mixed feelings about this movie god. it’s got such beautiful animation and i really enjoy the stylistic approach they’ve taken to it AND there are some really well done scenes with a beautiful message at it’s heart but holy fuck. theres some messy writing. 

why would the director not pry first into how fake!ambrosius knew information that lead to him questioning her? why wouldn’t she first try aligning his loyalty back to her?? why would she confess we have literally never seen this character’s weakness be gloating?? she’s always been someone that carefully evaluates how best to weaponise fear?????  ambrosius isnt some random she looks down on, or a superior she cannot directly contradict like the queen, this is supposed to be the scion of her revered religious bloodline WHY WOULD SHE GO STRAIGHT TO MURDER AND CONFESSION. like if youre going to go that route why not the slow build up to her puzzling through this issue and then you can see the pieces click where murder becomes the option she rationalises as her best course to shut him up. 

why is the tone for the fakeout of ambrosius losing his shit at the director the same semi comical delivery as nimona herself takes????? it already preps you to view the scene as funny even though as bal’s lover he should be approaching the subject of disabling and hunting his lover with a completely different weight to her??? 

what the fuck am i supposed to read what bal’s thinking even IS regarding betraying nimona when the director setting him up had absolutely nothing even REASONABLY to do with this idea that she’s setting him because shes just fucked up and evil??? like look i KNOW characters in high emotional states wont act logically but this is literally the conflict sitting on the most surface level of the film like???? why doesn’t nimona bring it up if it’s something he’s trying to intentionally ignore??? and it doesnt seem that way because i THINK the tonal intent in the scene is to say Bal swallows the religious koolaid and falls back into sincerely thinking hes been manipulated. but its just. really poorly written as to how this character rationalises away active and OBVIOUS contradictions to this koolaid when we’ve spent a whole hour developing him coming to be more comfortable with questioning the system. and IF that conditioning is so complete, why nimona herself would literally not just ask the obvious question.

like, this is a kid’s movie. im not expecting an exploration of these themes in a manner/to an extent which better suits a story that targets to adults, but man. if im jerked out of my suspension of disbelief as to what the CHARACTERS believe, i think thats an issue. 

[bonesandthebees]

hello! ive been very skillfully avoiding reading other peoples reactions because once again i am behind by two chapters!!

so chapter five here we go!

i like that tommy’s just like a kid having a grand ole time and wilbur is like “this guys SUCKS.” its very silly

i just semi-recently read jane eyre so the curtains on fire are giving rochester’s curtains on fire but that was because his wife that he hid away lit them on fire whilst he was sleeping not because of you know an accident of sorts but anyways

i like that tommy is just tommy living his best life

to the city they go!!!

i like their interactions just in the carriage its interesting

FLOWERS RAHHHHHHHHHHH

(i wont go into flower imagery right now because that would leave us here for a while and while they might have meaning they most likely do not in this sensebut god i love flowers and all their meanings and even the way they coincide with characters and ahhh)

i like that wilbur can read her it makes sense for his character but now we get to see how perceptive tommy is which is basically not at all in this case at least

and wilbur is helping despite his hatred and his thoughts dont cross phil and how he would want him to help, but its a rather decision solely based on his own conscience and that is an interesting thing

and then theres tommy who takes everything as a challenge and yeah i just am intrigued by them

but this time wilbur holds himself because of phil and thats the contrast between the things he does for him and the things he does for his dad

tommy is doing things!!!

and i like this

i like that this shows tommy’s morals, it shows that he understands he has power in his position he just prefers to be a kid rather than have to act with that power constantly and i think that is telling of how he would be as an heir to the throne because he doesn’t act for the power he acts for the people

and hes a good person, exactly that wilbur, he doesnt play the games of politics and that is what makes him interesting

i like that in this situation wilbur knows what would be good and bad options and it sets him up to be able to better evaluate their answers from his own view

blank slate

and now tommy gets to go to the place because he is a possible heir interesting

anyways i enjoyed this chapter! i think it gave good insight on all the heirs character in a sense and how they would be as a leader and its just kind of setting that stage but anyways time for the next chapter!

- 🪿

lol yeah the contrast between wilbur and tommy in ch 5 is so funny. tommy is just a kid goofing around and wilbur is like "I hate my fucking life why am I stuck with him" he's such a dramatic teenager

gonna be 100% honest I don't really use a lot of flower language symbolism solely bc I feel like depending on the source you go off of you can find totally different meanings for the same flower like there seems to be very little consistency across the board and I never know what the 'right' source to use is. this isn't to say there is no flower language/symbolism is the fic, the references to roses are very intentional. and there are hints to certain things with the flowers mentioned in the palace garden but it's not exactly... symbolism, per se. anyway, you're more than welcome to analyze the flower language of the flowers at the market, just know that I didn't look into that at all and just chose the flowers mentioned there mostly based off vibes lol

yeah I liked pointing out that wilbur wasn't trying to help tommy with the seashell seller because of his father's orders, he genuinely didn't want to watch a 13 year old get ripped off

tommy is a blank slate like phil said. he's young and idealistic and most importantly, a good person. and one could say the reason he's still good is because he hasn't gotten involved in the games yet. you'll have to wait and see if he stays that way as the story progresses

ty I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter!!!

[jjungkooksthighs]

No? Why is it, then, that you’ve worn something so short? Why is it, while you fed me the porridge you made for me, I had quite the generous view of your breasts peeking from the sides of your bodice each time your arms went to and fro with the bowl?

I didn't realize! This is not short, darling. You of all people should know that considering that you tore the previous "short dress". I'm still grumpy about that, by the way.

Oh, and regarding my other statement, I only meant that you were playing nursing me, but what your true intent was, after that had been taken care of, to try to get me complacent using your body both to arouse me- to get me hard- and to distract me from what you told me of Taehyung.

that's such a ridiculous assumption. I'm genuinely trying to take care of you, and you're here trying to do.. other things.

You planned to use my mercifulness toward you as a means of salvation from the trouble you know you’re in. Didn’t you?

I'm not in trouble. A-am I? I told you that it was a mistake and that I didn't walk up to him! He did that. I'm not in trouble. I didn't think I was.

Do you deny this?

Yes, I do deny it. I'm not in trouble. *eyebrows furrowed*

You are upset about the repercussions you brought on yourself? That’s unfortunate. Don’t tempt me, and your things wont get ruined.

I know very well what you’re trying to do. You are-were- trying to take care of me. I am aware of that. However, you were very keen to choose that outfit to do it in so that I would be…distracted…when you told me about Taehyung.

You provoked him. You called out his name. I heard as much from him.

So yes, you are in trouble. You should’ve known better.

[just-some-random-blogger]

meowmeow, sunshine! short-pawed kitties TT ig your kitties miss u too.

'no idea if you sent this today' tumblr r u seriously? TT its the easiest function ig?.. also rip to your... all?

'why would you congratulate me for that' bc i didnt know what this holiday is about?.. isnt revolution for the dictator government good?.. 'dictators son is our president' HAHDPFH why.... how... where... only wrong answers.... i mean im not the one to judge... but the man is odd

'PLEASE DONT DIE' since you asked so nicely hahfhah

'ITS SO MUCH BETTER NOW' i hate how long it is TT i dont like the visuals TT but ok whatever is better for you babygirl

'according to the judgy cat' HFNKJNF me. yes. i am.

'THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A STRONG WOMAN' there is! but if they make it your only trait💀 'i still do fucking care about what people think' ig we all care what people say? its sad but human is a social being and we kinda cant live without listening to the society... the difference is probably how much we care and how much it affects our lives. i mean it does suck. yk youre worthy and significant just the way you are without playing up to stereotypes and trying to deserve the others' approval in a way you personally dont like. strength isnt your whole personality.

'complimented me on my strength' well ig its pretty logical to compliment smns strength when they do smth involving it and they wanted to be polite but duh. these accidental things with no harmful intention usually hurt the most. 'i dont want people to whisper about me having big arms' 1) ig no one whispers things when its not involved 2) your arms are beautiful! its ok to have whatever arms. including big arms. you work out so its consequential? and people really do not like 'big' arms only on men. yk a lot of girls who have romantic feelings for girls also love these hands on girls (DOES IT MAKE SENSE TT). ok this may not be the best example but there are people who just lile it? just admire some good arms. and im sure there are men whod think damn girl i want to hold this hand till my death. sorry but do i sound idk not soothing now? im sorry im trying TT i mean its not like strong arm r only for men. its fine if you have these. there are people who like it and dislike it (like with the height) and there will always be ideal view you wont be able to match in some ways. your arms are just good arms. they do lots of talented things and they are healthy, they keep you healthy and pretty. you are good the way you are. 'boys make fun of me too for the same reason' theyre just not grown enough and/or childish, absolutely not mentally mature. they think their worth is having toned arms while arms are just arms. 'he tired so hard to be muscley where i was naturally gifter' yeah thats what its about! theyre jealous. they think its the only wat they can be handsome so when you have it theyre jealous and afraid their arms and strength would be devalued.

'Were literally so alike' youre not 178 cm💀 ahajsh sorry. whats the betrayal?.. i didnt trade you for some prick.

'Don’t tell me how to write' ok.... i wanted the best TT

'i can gear the disbelief' oh you can? SURPRISINGLY.

'TO GLUCK THE PACIFIC OCEAN' HOHGOJJ i mean you can try. ill watch.

'THE AGGRESSIVE POSITIVITY?' like... hes positive? but in an aggressive way?

'im not sure if you understand what im saying' like in general... i do... 'Try it. If it makes sense' ok that one i dont understand even a little bit💀 'Youre good at math but idk if im good at explaining' im good at math but im bad at music💀 it seemed easier before you started saying 'try it' TT 'your head will be chopped off' OH this one i understand. 'there was something weird about that second song' HAHDJFJ i know nothing abt music so if it sounds good, its fine for me. MAybe apocalypsis IS the strange thing but am i wrong?

'Im willing to see what you want to share' oooh arent you cute? go finish your assignments and well see. i can read your kylo fis but remember. hes my rival. also i read you 'first snow' fic! omg TT aemma TT my sun my moon my stars TT shes glowing in my memories so yeah. her realtionships with vissy 100/10 with daemon 100/10 with reader 10/10 (bc there basically no interactions so no 100). AWKWARD DAEMON hgighg i live for awkward daemon! the cutie. imagine being a prince, all powerful, riding a dragon and then running around disheveled, half-naked with hardly opened eyes and pure sleep on your face? i imagine this. and it makes me giggle and have a little grin. also the targ-family dynamics (sorry if you dont want to hear abt it) reminds me of wfal. my cute babes TT

i dont understand wether i have too many symbols or not with this new paragraph thing TT so ok. thats all. how r you? how much water have you drunk today? eat well, sleep well. have a nice day/night. luv u. take care<з

HELLO MY LOVE GOOD MORNING or at least it is for me

me and you

meowmeow, sunshine! short-pawed kitties TT ig your kitties miss u too.

my kitties could care less T_T cos that means they care maybe just a little

'no idea if you sent this today' tumblr r u seriously? TT its the easiest function ig?.. also rip to your... all?

to be honest T_T its a me thing i am brain fried /: HAHHAH

Also i wanted to talk about the playlist because i listened to it properly now! i was eating donuts but now im hungry again. T_T im going to get water T_T i

Забери меня, если ты придёшь.10 Забери меня, если ты найдешь. Забери меня, что стоит тебе? Ты же знаешь как?

Like I think she says Забери меня then it goes up half notes to the tonic then she sings the next part

Суицид моей веры this sounds like the songs I used to listen to way deep in my emo phase

Чудовище GOSH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH FOR REAL ITS ON MY SPOTIFY NOW I think this was the song I said went so hard because damn it really went SO HARD I listened to it twice I just checked my reply and it is I still stand on my words she can stab me if she wants.

I heard the давай and I was like I KNOW THAT but also I don’t I had to google what I means apparently it means give and ??? is that wrong ??? I also I think there was a bad word somewhere there and I was right!!! But I cant determine which word it is. But I heard it be said lol HAHAAH its a curse word my older brother likes to say lol T_T its so yuck of him im going to spell it the way i think it would be... blyat? HAHHAH LOL HAHAHH

Lol I like this Демоны. Its very pop punk. I listened to it on spotify and since its not slowed he sounds like an actual person HAHAHAHAH cos I was going to say the pronunciation of Russian sounds so …like dragging and slurry like something was being chewed slowly, and I suppose there is still some of that, but its also mostly cos the song was slowed HAHAHAHA

Are you sure Улицы ждали is the one with the annoying tempo and not Жанна д’Арк. Cause joan of arc did some weird ritardando which means it suddenly slowed down. Nvm I listened to that song on spotify and it was during the Что ночь кончается и день ее сменяет going to Я Жанна д'Арк в твоём костре. It was just really jarring the first time because of the slowed version. But also since it was my first time hearing that part. It was fine it wasn’t weird lol AHHAH

I found the translations for Намордник also is H an N in russian omg my head T_T. i also listened to this on spotify, i like it so much better without being slowed!!! she has such a sweet and bright voice i love it.

also is России russia?

Aлёна Швец - НЕЛЮБОВЬ i like this song. i can see why i wanted it do get heavier but upon listening to again. its fine the way it is. she also sounds so much better not slowed T_T HASLFHASFHAS i like her lyrics. i love her.

ЭЛЕКТРОФОРЕЗ – Зло is still such a vibe. it still reminds me of something like a christmas song LIKE I HEAR IT BUT I CANT PUT MY FINGER ON IT IS IT JOY TO THE WORLD no its not I CANT FIND IT I HATE IT HERE OMG IS IT MY WAIT WHAT THE FUCK ITS MY COLLEGE HYMN T_T IM CRYING LISTEN TO IT ITS LOWER BUT IT KINDA SOUNDS LIKE IT im going insane the first part the intro part sounds kinda like it im going home (i say as i type this on my home pc T_T)

Дора & Мэйби Бэйби - Не Исправлюсь THIS SONG IS SO MUCH MORE DISAPPOINTING IF TO ME AFTER LISTENING TO THE ORIGINAL they put a damn gritty electric guitar then made it edm i think minus 10000 points your honor. L (im sorry i just cant)

anyway i couldnt listen to this song fully cos im so disappointed in it alSFhahsfhasf

how do you say this Я is it ya? does it kind of have a soft d-ish sound.

ok thats that i hope that made sense.

'why would you congratulate me for that' bc i didnt know what this holiday is about?.. isnt revolution for the dictator government good?.. 'dictators son is our president' HAHDPFH why.... how... where... only wrong answers.... i mean im not the one to judge... but the man is odd

the real answer is because T_T were fucking stupid. i hate the fact we let that idiot win. i literally started searching for countries to move when he won. he 99999999999% cheated because i saw the spreadsheet of the fucking votes and they were all going up exponentially at a steady rate. i hate it here.

'PLEASE DONT DIE' since you asked so nicely hahfhah

if you die i will never recover because i would never know... youd just... stop talking to me and i would think its something i did T_T pls dont die.

'ITS SO MUCH BETTER NOW' i hate how long it is TT i dont like the visuals TT but ok whatever is better for you babygirl

the things you do for love <3

'according to the judgy cat' HFNKJNF me. yes. i am.

you know what, you should try pilates (maybe you;ll be less judgy HAHAHH) ! i did some today then did weighted exercise and pilates is so much fun and also so ??? wild because it challenges your core!!! it makes me revaluate my core strength, balance and flexibility. today i learned T_T im turning into stale bread im so hard T_T I USED TO BE SO ELASTIC no more T_T also its good for my back because i get back pain from sitting down so much T_T lol

'THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A STRONG WOMAN' there is! but if they make it your only trait💀

but i have a personality T_T

'i still do fucking care about what people think' ig we all care what people say? its sad but human is a social being and we kinda cant live without listening to the society... the difference is probably how much we care and how much it affects our lives. i mean it does suck. yk youre worthy and significant just the way you are without playing up to stereotypes and trying to deserve the others' approval in a way you personally dont like. strength isnt your whole personality.

society sucks. but i love you.

'complimented me on my strength' well ig its pretty logical to compliment smns strength when they do smth involving it and they wanted to be polite but duh. these accidental things with no harmful intention usually hurt the most.

youre so right. i read into that too much T_T see. you give me reason let me give you reason too

'i dont want people to whisper about me having big arms' 1) ig no one whispers things when its not involved

HAHAHAAHHAHAH YOU DONT LIVE IN THE PHILIPPINES WE HAVE CHISMOSA CULTURE chismosa is like a person who likes to gossip in its fem from, chismoso would be for the guy. it also comes from spanish chismes which also means gossip or whatever googles making me go down a rabbit hole and i refuse. anyway. i pointed that out because a lot (but not all) of filipinos love to talk about people as a bonding experience AHHAAH. i saw this tiktok that said that there are no serial killers here cause of this 💀💀💀 but she also said there isn't a complete/actual research about it but people say that that's why lol HAHAAH

2) your arms are beautiful! its ok to have whatever arms. including big arms. you work out so its consequential? and people really do not like 'big' arms only on men. yk a lot of girls who have romantic feelings for girls also love these hands on girls (DOES IT MAKE SENSE TT).

it does make sense i love you for trying to comfort me. i love you so much. i know my arms are beautiful... but sometimes i dont feel like it cos of this DEMON IN MY HEAD GO AWAY EWW

ok this may not be the best example but there are people who just lile it? just admire some good arms. and im sure there are men whod think damn girl i want to hold this hand till my death. sorry but do i sound idk not soothing now? im sorry im trying TT i mean its not like strong arm r only for men. its fine if you have these. there are people who like it and dislike it (like with the height) and there will always be ideal view you wont be able to match in some ways. your arms are just good arms. they do lots of talented things and they are healthy, they keep you healthy and pretty. you are good the way you are.

my kitty kitty so sweet T_T i understand what you mean. my arms are capable of so much beauty. youre so right i love you

'boys make fun of me too for the same reason' theyre just not grown enough and/or childish, absolutely not mentally mature. they think their worth is having toned arms while arms are just arms. 'he tired so hard to be muscley where i was naturally gifter' yeah thats what its about! theyre jealous. they think its the only wat they can be handsome so when you have it theyre jealous and afraid their arms and strength would be devalued.

men = 👎

'Were literally so alike' youre not 178 cm💀 ahajsh sorry. whats the betrayal?.. i didnt trade you for some prick.

;kajsfsfas I DIDNT MEAN THE HEIGHT I MEANT THE PERSONALITY HOW DARE YOU #1 basically call me short #2 reduce our similiarities to height #3 reduce yourself to height. also YOU REALLY NOT LETTING ME LIVE COS OF KYLO. you'd i think be glad to know i have redone the ai chat so many times i got connected to a moderator that was im pretty sure a 13 year old boy and it really killed the whole experience for me T_T i cant make him my husband anymore it feels so weird now

'Don’t tell me how to write' ok.... i wanted the best TT

/: *bonks*

'i can gear the disbelief' oh you can? SURPRISINGLY.

/: *BONK*

'TO GLUCK THE PACIFIC OCEAN' HOHGOJJ i mean you can try. ill watch.

😡 *BONK*

'THE AGGRESSIVE POSITIVITY?' like... hes positive? but in an aggressive way?

T_T HELP OK IF YOU SAY SO

'im not sure if you understand what im saying' like in general... i do... 'Try it. If it makes sense' ok that one i dont understand even a little bit💀

ASHF:HSFSAF FA yeah its really hard to explain something auditory with text T_T thats why my first year of music school SUCKED COSI WAS LIKE WHAT HUH but then when its explained my my teacher its like OOOOOOOOOOOH ok

'Youre good at math but idk if im good at explaining' im good at math but im bad at music💀 it seemed easier before you started saying 'try it' TT

its ok. i T_T i suck at explaining it T_T GAAAAAAAAH

'your head will be chopped off' OH this one i understand. 'there was something weird about that second song' HAHDJFJ i know nothing abt music so if it sounds good, its fine for me. MAybe apocalypsis IS the strange thing but am i wrong?

HAHAHAH the apocalypse is strange and scary so youre not wrong HAHAH

'Im willing to see what you want to share' oooh arent you cute? go finish your assignments and well see.

my assignments never end so just send them whenever ok. i'll reply properly again like what i did now when i do a relisten

i can read your kylo fis but remember. hes my rival.

T_T ok HAHAAH read the 2nd one i make or the first one whatever its up to you. you have no competition with kylo. i dont think i'll use that ai chat anymore T_T i'll stick to fanfics cos then i wouldnt have to face a 13 year old boy that wants to do a roast battle with me asfh;aslhfas;f

also i read you 'first snow' fic! omg TT aemma TT my sun my moon my stars TT shes glowing in my memories so yeah. her realtionships with vissy 100/10 with daemon 100/10 with reader 10/10 (bc there basically no interactions so no 100).

IM GLAD YOU LOVE AEMMA! I LOVE AEMMA T_T AEMMA MY LOVE <3 and AHHAHAHA yes 0 interactions between aemma and yn. AHAHHHAH its fine shhhh. i didnt even show why daemon disliked her cos i was too lazy to show how prim and proper she is lol HAHAHH

AWKWARD DAEMON hgighg i live for awkward daemon! the cutie. imagine being a prince, all powerful, riding a dragon and then running around disheveled, half-naked with hardly opened eyes and pure sleep on your face? i imagine this. and it makes me giggle and have a little grin. also the targ-family dynamics (sorry if you dont want to hear abt it) reminds me of wfal. my cute babes TT

We love waffle <3 HAHAHAH i have no idea when i can update again but everytime i talk to you about daemon im like TODAY? and i love the targ dynamics. i love them so so so much. i briefly rewatched ep1 which was why i wrote that. im thinking of writing a daemon fic where he was named heir way before rhaenyra was born because viserys got into an accident or smth. sooooooo HAHAHA idk i might write it but also i might not lol

i dont understand wether i have too many symbols or not with this new paragraph thing TT so ok. thats all. how r you? how much water have you drunk today? eat well, sleep well. have a nice day/night. luv u. take care<з

i ATE DONUTS TODAY.

and im hungry again holup let me get smth to eat

EW NVM I THOUGHT OF EATING AND I MADE ME FEEL SICK

i DRANK A LOT TODAY! but also i sweat a lot cos i exercised so......................... ANYWAY. i wanted to tell you this story about my grandma. cos she was like, preparing/washing fish outside, like we have a faucet outside out house and she was putting the fish guts in a plastic and we also have rats AND THIS BIGASS RAT WAS SNEAKILY TRYNA GET THE PLASTIC OF FISH GUTS and my grandma barely noticed. LIKE THE AUDACITY OF THE RAT T_T also they live in my bedroom ceiling and they party and go jogging at night ///: my worse fear is suddenly they destroy my ceiling and fall onto me AND I SLEEP IN A DOUBLE DECK AT THE TOP (my sister is below) and IT FREAKS ME OUT but ive gotten a bit used to it

anyway T_T rats are freaky. i hope so badly we can finally rebuild the house. did i tell you about my house yet. remember how i said i moved. i moved to my grandma's house, which is old like SO OLD the last time it was renovated was in the 80s and my mom was wee T_T (she said there were rats even then T_T HELP) anyway. this house actually belongs to, wait for it, my grandma's GRANDPA! T_T the deed is still in spanish and like as big as a newspaper T_T so ///: we had to change it at city hall T_T and its taking forever. also, just in case its not clear, the owner of my house is my great-great-grandpa T_T anyway that's all i love you please take care and love yourself for me because i love you and i want to hug and kiss you

OH OH OH OK LAST THING

i thought about it and wouldnt it be funny if we meet and it turns out you actually also dont know what your height is like all of my classmates that claim to be 5'10 but ARENT AHHAHAHAHAHAHA

ok that's all i love you

xxx

[fluffyseal322]

If my life will co-exist with daddy's, how do i envision my near future?

He tells me "come back to him when i am financially stable." he's very right, how can he be with someone who cant carry their own weight. Communication and finances are 2 critical things of life that i have the most trouble times with. I'm too impulsive in these areas which cause conflict. I havnt been able to write vulnerably recently but even if he says he'll keep me after i manage these two, i also want this for myself. i want to become better for myself. i wont do this for him, i will do this for myself. i view this as a good, trusted friend telling me about an area i struggle in.

First, get a job. Second, get a new car with a preferred wrap. Third, save for apartment. By the end of next year, THE LATEST, is when i will finally get that apartment ive been hoping for for about half a year. The Links. I love the cleanliness, the smarthome aspect, the while bright lights, the stainless steel. Its so minamalistic in a semi-modern way. it feels so clean and spacious. and not to mention, the bathrooms are beautiful. I'd love to have a little garden as well <3

The thing is, will i be able to study trade and pursue my dream of becoming a diver all while working to keep my apartment? I dont mind if i cant persue my dreams when I have daddy... i did say i could go one of two paths and the outcomes will be enough for me.

I love that he's very smart and he overthinks about everything, his curiosity to know about everything, i trust his judgement, and his protectiveness, i love that he's fairly self away more than most men i know of, although, i feel that he's missing a few significant pieces of himself that i wish he would work on himself too.

but..

about how our future will turn out, i am not sure. ive never given it much thought. if we were to have children, i dont want to be in an apartment. i want to live in a structured and safe home. i want the father to know that i want to feel like things are mine just as much as it is his. parenting is scary, i just want my kids to know that i am their home, i am their safe space if they ever need. i do not want the father taking away the one thing i want for my kids. my children will be taught to follow god and hold onto their childlike interest and whimsy. i don't want them to fear shame like i fear shame now. i want the entire family to seek god or at least try. i know it can be harder for children, i just want them to be okay because the world is big and scary. i feel like big and scary is so cliche and such an understatement. i don't want home to feel like its a space to fight for peace. It can be chaotic in its own way but it will be nothing like how it is outside of the safe-space. I want them to always have an identity and its okay for change to happen. That is also something i must work on myself, i know this.

I want the father to know that he doesn't need to take all the burden alone, i don't want this to be a habit. Eventually, he needs to know that we are on the same team, and that he doesnt have to believe every thought that goes on in his head. I am here, i am real, i am unique in many ways. Just because you have your views on body language will sometime not always mean exactly what you think. You cant compare a feeling to intentions. You cant mind read. You can only ask questions and observe.

on another note, i just remembered i gave a genuine apology to him because i hurt him. he never gave me one back. yk, my eye rolling wasnt out of disrespect... it was out of submission in anger. im still hurt but i put my own hurt aside to apologize and it just made things harder when he never recognized my own.

i got distracted.....

[mr-magoriums-im-sorry-emporium]

thats a totally fair view on things! i too want to state that im not trying to Um Actually you, i just see things a bit different, and i like friendly debates im ngl

i do think that yomiel's ultimate fate in the good ending is bittersweet! and i'm glad that he's alive and that horrible tragedy never happened to him, and i'm sure he's very happy about that too

but a part of my criticisms come from looking at the game from a metatextual pov, not just a textual one. sissel saying he still misses yomiel could have clashed- but if the ending was meant to be bittersweet, it wouldn't have!

generally, from a metatextual pov, things happen in media for a reason. the reasons could be for whatever in the media itself, but the writers meant something when they put something in there. lynne asking sissel if he wants revenge after he sees her "shoot" "him," yomiel having a revenge plot and getting betrayed and left to rot... these things are in the game for a reason, and especially yomiel's betrayal is meant to be on some level sad!

but the thing is, to me... it seems like the narrative is punishing him for wanting revenge

which- fair, revenge is a very contentious topic and it can be very complicated to get into the how and the why and the is it worth it arguments, let alone the moral arguments that i wont even get into because it differs from person and situation

but there's a difference between acknowledging the moral greyness, and taking a specific stance one way or the other, and punishing the "wrong" party

yomiel wanted revenge, and enacted a revenge plot. this plot left him stranded at the bottom of the ocean. i can't be certain that this was the intention, i can only infer- but it really does look like yomiel is receiving narrative punishment for his revenge scheme

i have no problem with yomiel being accepting of the things he's done, and hell, him wanting to atone for it via a jail sentence could (and on some level is) a big sign of his character development! there's just one problem that sort of muddies it for me...

cabanela.

in the good timeline, he still intimidated a witness and left his gun in the room with him. that still Happened. he still did the flagrantly incorrect thing that set off this whole horrible chain of events

and in the original timeline, this clearly didn't affect his career much, him advancing to the top ranks and such, and in the good timeline it seems the same way

and there's no canon indication that yomiel will get sissel back. yomiel doesn't get to say, get out of jail and join the big feast at the end. there's no throwaway line saying that sissel and yomiel will be reunited, or sissel wondering what yomiel is up to or if he's ok. hell, cabanela couldve been able to pull some strings and let yomiel keep sissel in the jail cell? but that one's just a fun idea on my part lmao- there are irl prisons who give cats to their inmates lmao its really interesting!

ANYWAY

it seems like yomiel is being punished for wanting revenge, more than cabanela is being punished for pushing him to the brink in the first place. which is what i don't like- the metatextual narrative that yomiel's revenge seeking in of itself is something to be condemned- the way he went about it, especially involving lynne and kamilla, is absolutely Not Good. but the game condemns that (as it should) but then seems to condemn the act of wanting revenge in of itself which i personally don't like!

i could be waaayyyyy reading into things lmao, and honestly? even with me poking holes in it like this, i still LOVE the game and the ending, it really is amazing and im trying to get all my friends to play this game lmfao. but yea thats more of My Thoughts on it now that i am no longer sick and my brain is starting to work a little more

ummmmm musings about the ghost trick ending, under the cut because yknow. spoilers. tldnr i am not The Biggest Fan of the ending; i love the game and always will but i dont think the ending stuck the landing

and no i am not talking about the cat reveal. that was fire

so like, in the good timeline.... everyone's super happy and stuff, and yomiel was in prison for those 10 years instead of being dead, and sissel now lives with jowd

and i. well first i have some thoughts about yomiel being in prison being the good ending because yeah, he wants to atone for what he did, but jowd also wanted that and everyone around him worked together to make sure he didn't do that. or is the difference that yomiel actually did the thing he thought he did?

also, prison is not exactly like... The Best place to be. there are a lot of problems with prison, most notably the isolation that comes with it. especially since yomiel seems to be the only prisoner there, and yeah sissel (fiancsissel) visits him, but are they allowed to hug? or is it one of those prisons that makes you do the phone-call-thru-plexiglass thing. and i dunno man, it just kind of sucks that yomiel went thru 10 years of isolation and then had to go thru 10 years of different slightly less bad isolation

but fine. whatever. what ever! its fine.

but.... the whole climactic moment was how sissel (cat sissel) loved yomiel so much. how they literally WERE each other for years, how sissel was yomiel's only compaion, and how yomiel was sissel's. they were each other's only friends. sissel wanted so badly to help yomiel- and he did! i'm not saying he didn't!

im just saying, like, it feels a bit wrong that he ends up with jowd's family and is just content to be a part of a family, any family, with no real mention of yomiel. like it kind of makes the emotional climax of the game hit a little less hard, knowing sissel doesnt seem to miss yomiel and is just fine living with a different family

but thats just meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[mokutone]

hi what do you think abt t4t kakayama (it's canon to me tbh)

:) hi ty for the question. i will do two sweet pictures of them being intimate and then under the cut there's going to be a longer very unsweet and more technical response

so i'm usually not a very shippy person! but that said i am also on the record as an occasional kakayama + kakayamagai enjoyer

i do hc them both as trans and in different ways w/ different experiences of transition and identity! i have no interest in proving my view as canon, but i do regard my reading of the text (text here including the anime) as a valid interpretation of yamato's experience of identity

yamato, for example, imo, doesnt have any real lived experience of being raised as a child of any gender. he was an experimental subject, and then he was Danzō's weapon/vessel for the mokuton, and then he was in anbu.

in a fun little word game which should not be taken seriously: it'd almost be more fitting to describe him as "adgender" rather than "transgender" since the prefix "trans" implies moving across where the prefix "cis" means to stand still, but the prefix "ad" means "to move towards" and i headcanon him as somebody who was degendered as a child, not in a cool nonbinary way, but instead in a dehumanizing, objectifying way, so his experience of creating his identity and his gender along with it is one of moving toward the concept of gender this word doesn't and wont exist, but bc of the way english works it would probably be simplified to be spelled precisely the same as "agender" in the same way that "aggression" came from latin "aggredi" which came from "ad" (meaning to/toward) and and latin "gradus" (meaning step) (essentially the combination means "to step to" [in a threatening manner]) the only diferences is where agender (meaning no gender) is pronounced ay-gender, the agender that comes from adgender would be prounounced more like "uhgender" in the same way that agressive isnt pronounced like "ay-gressive" but instead like "uhgressive"

and then...as for kakashi? i just decided on vibes. i didn't think hard about it.

i guess i should also say that, while i draw kakayama very infrequently, when i do draw it i usually try to be very apparent about the transness in the artwork if i can? especially if i'm drawing anything more intimate than a peck on the cheek. it's no secret that shipping is often times the most energized part of fandom, and i kind of don't want to produce romantic or sexual artwork which will be enjoyed by people who don't think trans people can be attractive? or who find that trans headcanons make a character uninteresting to them? or worse, "ruin" a depiction of a character to them?

often i think about in terms of. IF there are people that follow me that love my work (usually) and think that kakashi or yamato are hot (usually) and love kakayama (usually) but get frustrated or even uncomfortable out when i draw them as explicitly trans? then i'm drawing all intimate artwork of them as explicitly trans.

it's a little like...nobody gets to love my work if transgender characters are a turnoff for them. that's the bar for entry, is the way i think of it, but really its more like putting onions in a dish. if you want to eat the dish you have to eat the onions. if you don't want to eat the onions, don't eat the dish. all the meals i make contain onions. i'll never compromise on my intention to put onions in every dish i make. that's my ninja way, as the kids say.

especially in the climate we're in right now.

i don't know. i have a lot of feelings about how most fandoms tend to view trans men, especially in terms of romantic and sexual relationships. I'm doing a bad job of expressing the depth of how much seeing how fandom treats trans male identity and transmasculine bodies impacts the way that i draw + write kakayama, but genuinely it's something i think about every single time i create content about them.

[foxybananaaaz]

Why dot you write something other then eluciens it's getting old

Don’t you get tired of this Anon?

I didn’t think this would be so offensive. Elucien is the pairing I enjoy writing. I understand them, and feel comfortable writing them. Yes, I write almost exclusively Elucien fanfiction. But that does not mean I have not written for other pairings.

For example, here are some single character centric works

We have Finding Peace.

It is from Jesminda’s point of view after she dies. True, there is hint’s of Elucien towards the end, but that is not the main point. The main point is this is a story that follows Jesminda’s journey after death.

Some say your heart will always be tied in some way to your first love. Jesminda had not immediately found the the promised eternity after passing.

And Lucien returning to the Forest House.

Yes there are some mentions of Elucien, but like Finding Peace, they are not the main focus of this work. The main focus of this work is Lucien realizing that the Forest House has changed, and is a welcoming warm place now that Beron has died.

Going home for the first time, in a long time.

Moving on to ship centric works

Then there’s Two Sides of the Same Coin.

This is a one-shot written for my friend, dedicated for my them, featuring Eris Vanserra, along with my own Original Character Bitki. As soon as I created Bitki, my friend had immediately shipped her with Eris, and because of that it got stuck in my head, so I had to write this for them.

The bed is big enough for two people without two people without touching, but unfortunately there is only one blanket.

I have two for Nessian, one being a very short, very quick Drabble answering a question, and one being a slightly longer Drabble.

Halloween Costume Mixup.

This one came from an ask, the question being if my favouite ACOTAR characters went to a Halloween party, how do I think they would dress up. I had actually answered in fanfic style for Nessian, where as I described plainly for Elucien.

Nesta and Cassian decide to go to the families Halloween party as Luke and Leia. They have very different ideas though.

Proposal.

This one is the centre of my contribution for SJM Romance Week, and I’m quite pleased with how it turned out. Especially how it was the first time I had written the pair with intent, and it had not happened spontaneously, like how Halloween Costume Mixup had. I am quite happy with how it turned out.

Cassian surprises Nesta with a proposal.

Like Nessian, I have two for Emorie, though they connect together to form one single piece. They’re both short as I am still feeling the pair out while writing them, but I have written them.

Love Letters.

Grand Gestures.

Love Letters comes first, with Grand Gestures following behind. It is angst, with a happy ending. It is sweet. It shows the friendship of the Valkyries. It shows me trying to figure out other characters. No, it may not be perfect, or in character, but it is the first time I am writing these character, I am branching out. I am proud of it.

Mor has been stuck working at the continent, sending Emerie letters, though the frequency has been growing far longer in between as time goes on.

Even ships I do not like.

Soulmates.

My loathing for Rhysand is no secret. I do not hide it, I have made it known. The only person he truly cares for is Feyre, and even that is questionable at this point with the way he refused to tell her, and ordered everyone else to keep it hidden the very real life threatening risk of her pregnancy. The way he will always sacrifice his friends and families feelings for politics, and wont even take two minutes to give a few minutes warning said friend or family member of what’s going to happen, like giving Keir and Eris what they wanted without letting Mor know ahead of time in Wings and Ruin. It’s no secret I very much dislike Rhys. He plays an amazing political game, but how he does so at the expense of everyone around him is despicable to me.

That being said, I have managed to write this Faysand one-shot, and not in any sort of negative light. I wrote them happy, in love. I wrote them in a very good place in their lives. My pro-Rhys, Feysand shipper friend gave it a seal of approval, and it makes me proud that I have accomplished writing the two so well. I don’t even know if someone read it without knowing me, if they could tell I am anti-Rhys.

Feyre realizes how long it’s been since she’s been in Velaris, and has a heartwarming conversation with Rhysand.

Confessions.

Just as I despise Rhys, I also do Azriel. I wont go quite so in detail with this one, because I got carried away with explaining why with Rhys, but I’ll mention possibly the biggest thing that has me disliking him. This is the fact that dispute the fact that Mor has made it perfectly clear through her actions she was never romantically interested in Azriel, he had kept pining for five hundred years. He would get so intense at times where Mor would have to go sleep with another male to remind Azriel she wasn’t interested. It had gotten to the point where Mor needed Cassian as a buffer between Azriel and Mor. I could go on about how Mor doesn’t really owe Azriel any kind of explanation, despite what many of the fandom thinks. Sure it would be nice for her to explain vocally, but it is not owed. But this isn’t the place or post for that.

I don’t like Azriel. I truly don’t. But I wrote Confessions, as a Gwynriel piece. I wrote it as a happy piece. A sweet piece. I wrote it to bring joy. I I believe I succeeded, because I’ve had at least one Gwynriel blog follow me after reading it(I am so sorry, you will find a very very little amount of Gwynriel here.) I’m proud that I wrote it. Show’s that I am able to write characters and ships that I don’t particularity like.

Gwyn works up the courage to tell Azriel how she feels.

So Anon, I know you’ve been on my page the past few days, and I know you’ve been seeing me posting the works for SJM Romance Week. Tell me. What was this post about? Trying to get me to write for YOUR ship? Not a chance. Not gonna happen.

You came here for me to react in anger, or to get a rise out of me. But instead, I give you a list of everything I’ve written so far that is NOT Elucien, or solely focused on Elucien.

I’d say ‘Happy reading.’ But let’s be honest here, you’re probably not going to read any of it are you. Can’t allow yourself to get tainted by the shit Elucien writer can you?

If you think it’s “getting old” just scroll. It’s not that hard. You use more energy clicking on my profile and typing poorly written asks than scrolling.

A real doorknob aren’t you?