#that is 100% not a joke
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So I got a survey in the mail from Veteran's Affairs today asking me how the Transition Assistance Program (TAP)* could possibly be improved. I had to brace myself against the kitchen counter and full-belly cackle a solid 30 seconds after reading that, because oh? My god? I medically retired at the HEIGHT of the pandemic. WHAT ASSISTANCE. NO REALLY. THEY DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER GETTING MY LAST DENTAL WORK HANDLED, WHICH IS A LITERAL REQUIREMENT FOR RETIRING. They fucking handwaved SO MUCH of the requirements just to get me out faster!
God. TAP is a goddamn joke. I've been in survival mode every minute of every day since retiring 3 years ago, and the best I've gotten out of the VA is a surprise upgrade to 100% disability pay and a few voicemails suggesting I should get a pap smear. Fuck off.
*TAP is for transitioning out of the military, not for transing your gender. It is still very weird to me, somebody who signed up a solid 2 years before DADT was repealed, to get pro-LGBT+ e-mails from the VA. Very cool! But very weird.
#my mental health is in SHAMBLES and not once have i gotten an e-mail about that#like yeah it's better than when i was in sure#but when i was in the only argument i had against killing myself was that i didn't trust my supervisor to take care of my cats#that is 100% not a joke#i'm alive in 2024 because i love my cats#no e-mails about mental health but BOY do they love slapping the suicide hotline on every fucking thing#fuck off#i'd trust the neighbors i've never shared two words with over the VA's suicide hotline to help me in a crisis
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There's wholesome ships and there's toxic ships, but I'd like to coin 'sodium chloride ships', where the individuals involved are both horrible and dangerous people, but somehow being together renders them surprisingly well-adjusted (if a little salty).
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OK TUMBLR PRETEND WE'RE ALL ON SET TOGETHER PICK A JOB
if you actually work/have worked as one of these pls select it and tell me in the tags im curious
if you've worked as multiple, pick your favorite
everyone else, VOTE ON VIBES ALONE!!
#poll#mads actor tag#film set posting#my bullshit#movies#film sets#pLS dont lecture me in the tags if u think my silly descriptions aren't 100% accurate and instead learn how to recognize a Joke
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In the Spanish Gravity Falls dub, the “My ex-wife still misses me..but her aim is getting better!”
Is translated as “My ex-esposa todavía me quiere…¡me quiere matar!”
Roughly translating to “My ex-wife still wants me… wants me dead!”
#Being one of the first jokes I understood in Spanish I was in hysterics over this#it’s a dumb joke#it has a place en mi corazón#spanish#translation#gravity falls#it’s a bit more intense than the English one tbh#Quinn posts#100#500#10k#15k
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Im usually much too shy to send asks but you gotta be the change you want to see, and i agree that asks need to stay so: would you rather right 1 horse sized rat, or 100 rat sized horses?
ah yikes... so my knee jerk reaction is "the 100 rat-sized horses, certainly, as those can be picked off one at a time." however the risk of my conscience catching up to me by the 30th or 40th horse is too great. how much death could I inflict upon these rat-sized horses before I vow to see death no more? even if pure survival instinct drives me through all 100, what of the aftermath? surrounded by the carnage of 100 tiny horses with only my own wet breath among 100 still chests? inconceivable. war is hell.
#lordlochness#thanks 4 the ask very thought provoking great ice breaker#(considering you may have just seen my post at random and dont follow me: i promise im joking)#clearly id decimate all 100 rat sized horses without remorse#(also joking!!!)#(probably)
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He was balls deep in an emergency meeting [insp.]
4MINUTES (2024) EP. 5
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#greattyme#thaidrama#uservix#userrlaura#raeblr#userbon#mjtag#rinblr#esmetracks#userrlana#userpetri#tusersilence#asiandramaedit#asianlgbtqdramas#fyeahthaidramas#tansgifs#gifs:fourm#i know this love scene is like 100% made up by great's dying brain but I had to make this joke anyways#i have no idea how these looks it's 1am and my eyes are barely open#look at the tag on the thing I put on inspo it's my own post but that tag is just so fknn funny
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RESIDENT EVIL BODY TYPES THE SEQUEL!
part one...!
#first day of the new year and im drawing shirtless men#ethan winters#karl heisenberg#leon kennedy#mia winters#THIS IS NO JOKE THE BEST MIA IVE EVER DRAWN#I COULDNT STO TELLING MY FRIENDS ABOUT HER#HEY GIRL...#i love u mia#i spent 15 minutes trying to draw ur nose and id do it all again#resident evil#resident evil fanart#rebhfun#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#i drew all of these using references of my own body#but im a 5'2 100 pound lanky asian girl#so i did have some trouble drawing karl#it bothers me when people draw leon as some slim tiny little baby#have u seen pictures of him#his bicep is literally the size of his head its almost absurd#GIVING EVERYONE FAT ROLLS BECAUSE I CAN!#THEY R ALL WELL FED AND HAPPY AND WARM AND CONTENT WITH LIFE!#dad bod ethan!!!!!#ethans body type is probably the hardest to draw accurately#because there isnt any really good refernce for him becuase he wears like THREE LAYERS#ethan is actually pretty thin in re7#but idganarf 3 years have passed and he had a kid he has a dad bod now its true#he has muscle defiently though i dont think hes as musclely like leon or chris that would be insane
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🐟🔁
#my art#bungou stray dogs#bsd sigma#bsd dazai#gang. chat. audience. I miss mersault so bad.#anyays I played a lot with this one :) played w colors and coloring style a bit#and also learned fucking blockbench. for my silly joke.#100% worth highly recommend very intuitive program. and free !#also davinci resolve. much less intuitive but at least still free.#I'll probably post just the coelacanth render at some point uhh soon. maybe tomorrow. we'll see
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I get why people may insist that Fear and Anxiety have sibling vibes and not romantic ones but in that case THERE WOULDN’T BE A LITERAL “I CAN FIX HER” JOKE right in the movie, come on guys 😆
Look at the faces this mf makes while mentioning her?
I mean would they expect people to NOT ship it? I am dead sure they saw this coming. Too many hints, too many. They had test screenings with teenage girls of all people. They are real experts in stuff like this!
#like I’m not AGAINST the idea of them having a sibling-like dynamic#it’s cool#BUT for me personally they are 100% a couple#yeah#I saw people calling shippers out mentioning that Anxiety was pitched as his cousin#but AGAIN#!!!pitched!!!#this was scrapped#it’s NOT canon#+ all these hints and faces Fear makes#and a literal I cant fix her joke#checkmate??#lets stop complaining and just chill out with our comfort ships#inside out#inside out 2#inside out fear#inside out anxiety#fear x anxiety#anxiety x fear#pairing#my thoughts
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#not gonna tag em bee tee eye in case it annoys people#organic home grown content#polls#enjoy the joke poll!#100 tier#1000 tier#10000 tier
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woke mob and their friend he/himple
#mob psycho 100#mp100#mp100 dimple#mob#I drew this as a joke for someone online but#I felt sad that I havent posted here for awhile#so here I am#ms paint#digital art
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Reverse trope
where instead of the Bats forgetting that they’re adopted (something actual adoptees do on occasion and is hilarious) they forget that some of them *cough Damian cough* aren’t
_______
Jason in the heat of a probably ridiculous argument: Yeah well YOU’RE adopted!
Tim just as invested in said argument: So are YOU! We all are!
Damian who had previously been quietly watching this unfold while he drank his tea: Actually I’m not
Tim and Jason who didn’t realize he was there but are already DoneTM: …… Damian continuing to sip his tea entirely unbothered: :)
Damian: Because I’m not an orphan-
Jason: ok, yoU KNOW WHAT-
____
or like in their group texts (that we know they have thanks to Nightwing (2016) #79)
*Steph changed the group chat name to “Bruce Wayne’s Personal Orpanage”*
Jason: Really?
Steph: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Steph: It’s the truth Damian: Both my parents are very much alive
Steph: Shhh you don’t count
Cass: Mine too Duke: Technically so are mine
Barbara: I still have a dad so there’s that
Steph: YOU GUYS ARE RUINING THE JOKE
Tim: Stephanie aren’t BOTH of your parents alive???
Steph: KNOW WHAT? FINE
*Steph changed the group chat name to “The Technicality Police”*
Tim: well that’s more accurate at least
Steph: :)
_____
Damian in his 10th argument with Tim of the day: That’s- this is-
Tim in full Antagonizing Big Brother mode: I’m listening
Damian -a Gen Z and best friend to Jon Kent- extremely frustrated: This is such Motherless behavior!
Tim taken aback: [voice cracking] W-what-?
Damian who didn’t mean to say that but doubling down anyway because his bloodline doesn’t believe in admitting mistakes: THIS! This is such Motherless behavior!
The rest of the family who is also motherless: :O
Cass whose been spending way too much time with Meme Queen Stephanie Brown and not involved in the argument but finding it entertaining regardless: [nodding along seriously] Facts
Tim: [visibly betrayed] CASS WHAT-
A video copy of the interaction gets sent out anonymously to the entire family. Barbara is the prime suspect but there is no proof as of yet (and they will never find any)
Steph, Cass, and Duke continue to respond “Motherless behavior” everytime one of the bats does something they deem questionable/insane. It is said often
It only stops when one night in the middle of patrol. Batman is in full Dark Knight mode (possibly in the middle of threatening someone) and descends from the ceiling into the middle of a warehouse drug deal, dark cape billowing out behind him-
and Steph just automatically whispers “Motherless behavior” forgetting her com was still very much on
She immediately realizes what she said and frantically apologizes but it’s too late.
Bruce just- Blue Screens. Completely stunned into silence
Dick -who was unfortunate enough to be the one teamed up with Batman tonight- is fighting for his life to choke back his laughter
Jason doesn’t even try to stop his and has collapsed to his knees from lack of air from how hard he’s laughing. Cass try’s half heartedly patting his back to help to no avail
The criminals are terrified into surrender from The Red Hood just laughing hysterically at seemingly nothing while Batman just Stands There
Damian ends up being the only one still functioning enough to continue arresting everyone, though he is privately amused and strangely proud
Tim and Barbara have saved both the com recordings and cowl footage to at least three different servers and sent it to absolutely everyone before Batman even recovers
Duke finds out second hand the next morning and is furious he missed the chance to see it in person. He declares he is moving to the nightshift so it doesn’t happen again. (He is all talk and goes to bed by 9 pm)
Bruce bans the phrase for life and promises swift and server punishment to anyone who dares to use it again
#Like it’d be so funny#Imagine them on mothers day#Damian at unnecessary volumes: I AM LEAVING TO GO TO VISIT MY MOTHER NOW#Damian: WHERE SHE LIVES.#His brothers on their way to the cemetery or smth: ._.#Damian still going regardless: BECAUSE SHE IS ALIVE#I just know Damian “Certified Mama’s Boy” Wayne would be such a menace about it#And Duke Babs Steph and Cass would so help fan the flames#batfam#dc comics#fanfiction#headcanon#chat fic#Can you tell I read them often#And yes adoptees forget they’re adopted#I have a friend who has on multiple occasions started to tell me about something that “ran in the family”/something in her family history#Before she’ll remember she’s not actually blood related#someone has probably already done this#But I still thinks it’s very funny#No I don’t think Jon would say motherless behavior to someone#But I do think he’d know the phrase and teach Damian#I just imagine he educates him on all the Gen Z lingo don’t ask why#crack post#100% a joke dont take it seriously
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the crusaders do have a healer.
they don't like to talk about it.
#jjba#kakyoin noriaki#kujo jotaro#joseph joestar#muhammad avdol#daily#((bet you thought i abandoned this blog. well jokes on YOU. i havent stopped thinking about it ONCE since i started it.))#((the guilt is killing me. but not really. anyway this is 100% canon to my blog's continuity and you may quote me on that.))#((i cannot guarantee regular updates going forward but i am at the very least trying to get back on track!))#((regardless! hope you enjoy this silly joke. i spent a long time on it and i definitely had more to say about it but i forgot.))#((peace and love💚))
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Hi it's just to let you know that the official romanization of Revaan's name is Raverne ! Also they have romanized Baul's name to Baur !
Twst coming back at us again with the least expected romanization! thank you everybody (oh god my inbox) (no it's great, I literally asked for this and the reactions have been INCREDIBLE, thank you all!)
I do like Raverne though, I think it's got a nice fancy sound to it! (I had kinda suspected it was going to be an R instead of an L, so the fact that it's SO close to Laverne except for that is hilarious to me personally.) and Dragoneye Duke is honestly probably the best translation for his title, I wasn't envying the localizers that one. :') Baur instead of Baul I was NOT expecting, but in retrospect I think his name's supposed to be a reference to the Bauru crocodile, so that actually makes way more sense!
someone else also said Meleanor has become Maleanor, which is the REALLY weird one to me, because I was so surprised it was written as Mel instead of Mal in the first place?! oh god no I can't decide which one I like better. 😭 (I wonder if they might change it to Mal...they have made romanization changes before) (like I remember House of Distraction being corrected to House of Destruction in Playful Land) (I did check and she's still Mel for now, but I dunno, they might Mal her up and some point and save me from having to make a decision about which one to use) (HECK I CAN'T DECIDE)
uhhhh thank you for letting me ramble about anime names, let's just say MONOGRAMMED SWEATERS FOR EVERYONE
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 4 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 4 spoilers#mel is so cute but mal fits with the rest of the draconias better#eng version no you were supposed to save me not make things MORE confusing#anyway raverne huh#that uh. that sure feels like it's supposed to evoke raven doesn't it.#what does it mean WHAT DOES IT MEAN#hold on i'm going to flail around embarrassingly about anime character theories now#(okay first a disclaimer: i do think we need to sit down as a fandom at some point)#(and have a discussion about exactly what is actual canon versus meta speculation versus jokes)#(because i think there has been. some confusion. over that re:crowley and raverne specifically)#(but i do feel justified in being like THEY ARE PROBABLY CONNECTED SOMEHOW RIGHT?! right now)#like i really don't think it's as simple as crowley being raverne but with memory loss or something#(and if they pull that on us i'm going to need an EXTREMELY good explanation to go with it to justify that)#they've gone out of their way several times now to make a point about them acting and sounding different and it feels very intentional to m#(and once again: i super 100% absolutely do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him with the top half of his face covered)#i just think the contradictions are a lot stronger than the connections right now but there ARE some connections and i'm 👀ing at them#to be fair the connections are mostly meta like crowley being diablo/raverne being evocative of raven#also the general 'raverne mysteriously disappeared and apparently had distinctive eyes' thing#versus 'crowley's past is unknown and he never shows his eyes'#(i will argue that crowley DOES seem to have some kind of canon connection to briar valley)#(since he is clearly some sort of fae and the masks are a briar valley thing)#and that is kinda it right now isn't it#okay hold on i had to delete some tags because i used too many (thanks tumblr for letting me know and not just vanishing them OH WAIT)#so tl;dr: i'm in the 'crowley is connected to raverne somehow but it's more complicated than just him being in disguise' camp personally#but that will probably change as we get more info and also don't take this as an anti-speculation thing because i love theories HOORAY
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#hey guys this is getting popular so I just wanna say this is about ME liking the AMERICAN FLAG#i feel stupid for liking the American flag (and many ppl in the replies of this seem to agree LOL) so I wanted to make a funny about it#people are WEIRD to u if u like the American flag even in this community!!#I’m not attacking the objectum community or whatever I am making fun of myself for liking the AMERICAN FLAG because it’s STUPID!!#the joke is that it is the American flag#people are being WAY too mean to me about this#objectum#objectophilia#objectum community#objectum sexuality#osor#os/or#posic#my art#ms paint tag#100#200#300#400#500
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VoxVal x Titanic
p.s. when did urgently need a reference
#VoxVal#Hazbin Hotel Vox#Hazbin Hotel Valentino#vox x valentino#hazbin valentino#valentino hazbin hotel#valentino#the vees#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#vox#hazbin#hazbin hotel#vivziepop#vivzieverse#staticmoth#my art#I like to joke about the fact that Valentino only draws himself#Part 1#p.s. part 2 for 100 🔁
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