#that i will never get to experience
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oh to sleep in the warm embrace of your catboy coded boyfriend
#the universal experience of really needing to get up but not doing it just so u wont disturb your cats nap on your lap#logan never sets his priorities Straight am i right guys ahah#they are BOTH catcoded btw 🫡#my art#wolverine#nightcrawler#logurt#logan howlett#james logan howlett#kurt wagner#nightwolves#nightclaws#marvel#xmen#x men fanart#ghostlydoodles#artists on tumblr
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there's something so poetic about kipperlilly copperkettle—who hated one of her classmates for daring to be better than her and having a dead dad, who refused to improve herself and instead chose to be bitter and entitled, who was so obsessed with being Special and Important like she felt she deserved that she willingly worked with a rage god, betrayed her party, and killed her friend—getting killed by fucking. Hold Person. her fancy optimal build IMMEDIATELY folding in the face of riz's cleverness and experience and applied knowledge. she spends years fixated solely on racking up EXP and getting the Best Abilities, and then when she dies, she's killed not in glorious combat but by a clever, practical application of a 2nd level spell that she NEVER would have ever thought of using because she has no creativity or adventurers' spirit, cast by the same classmate she always hated with a watch his dead dad gave him.
#so obsessed with getting as high level as possible but gets killed by a low level spell#one she never would have considered casting herself because she's level 20! she's optimized! she has the BEST skills at her disposal!#but she ultimately loses to riz who follows the proud gukgak tradition of hard work as an act of love#who has years of experience gained from a genuine desire to help people rather than a desire for attention or accolades#and who is simply fucking better at pvp#kipperlilly copperkettle#riz gukgak#fantasy high#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#dimension 20#d20#anyway i fucking KNEW she was evil!!!!
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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if you’re young and transmasc and the people in your life haven’t been great about the whole thing and you’re starting to feel like it might be easier to just give up and pretend to be the person they want you to be, i need you to hold on. because the thing is, one second you’re 16 and a future where you get to make decisions about your own body and life feels so impossibly far away and you can’t imagine living like this for that long, but then you blink and it’s been six years and you’re in your car with the music blasting and your voice is lower than the guy in the song’s and your hair is long for the first time in a decade because you’re finally confident enough to grow it out again on your own terms and your chest hasn’t been weighed down in months and it’s the freest you’ve ever felt in your life and i promise it will be worth the wait. don’t give up on yourself.
#was literally just driving home from the store and it was such a euphoric experience i had to make a post#16 year old me never could’ve imagined being where i am right now#he certainly wouldn’t have believed i would be able to get to this point while still living in my parents’ house#positivity#transmasc positivity#trans man positivity#trans men#transmascs
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someday... you gotta learn when to QUIT.
#Undertale#f]fuuuck#Sans#frisk#im channeling the 2015 undertale energy that i never got to experience#Because i played this shit in 2020 and am only JUST now feeling the delayed visceral reaction#Undertale is a fucking masterpiece#Toby fox hire me for something. Im begging you#Undertale deltarune whatever i will do it bro#someone get this messag to him somehow !!!!
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you’d think since dick was a mathlete hed b the number one guy to ask for help w math homework but actually he knows so much advanced math that the first time tim asked him for help with a simple geometry problem he pulled out his dusty ti-84 and started solving it in the most convoluted way that took an hour bc he was also just trying to relearn the math he hadn’t done in like 5 years. cue him screaming in frustration when he realized the actual way to do it would’ve taken him 2 minutes (tim asked him at the beginning if that way was right and he waved him off saying no) none of the batsibs can ask him for math help until they get to pre-calculus at least
#this is directly based off my experience helping my brother w his geo homework last night#the anguish i felt when i realized the height of the parallelogram was given this entire time and that all i had to do was turn it sideways#was immeasurable#jason died before getting to geometry#he comes back and later damian asks him for help w math hoping he’s better than dick and he’s like wtf no i never learned this shit go ask#the mathlete#dc#dc comics#dick grayson#tim drake#nightwing#batfam#batfamily#batsiblings#batkids#batman#dc batman#dc dick grayson#yaptown
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from The Rehabilitation of Death fic by @bamsara
#cult of the lamb#cotl#narinder#narilamb#I was never too big on this ship but i kinda get it now#man who has never experienced kindness experiences kindness for the first time#my art#trod au
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played DA2 for the first time and romanced the possessed bisexual poor little meow meow who's totally down for firebombing a walmart
#handers#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age anders#marian hawke#dragon age hawke#I FINALLY played through the entire thing! after so many times starting and then getting bored lol#I have genuine trouble deciding if I like Origins or Inquisition best but 2 is definitely on the bottom for me lol 🥲#but I do like Anders :)#I want more of this miserable little man#also I'm never sure anymore whether I wanna post single pictures or sets of them. idk#all the other DA stuff I've been drawing lately has been Origins stuff. or memes. so this doesn't really fit? so#seems like it should be by itself?#idk idk idk idk idk#anyway I've been doing lots of loose sketchy stuff and experimenting with brushes and it's been nice :)#trying my best to just...... be softer on myself#my art#description in alt text
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Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.
But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.
But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.
It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'
#o.#trans#transphobia#transmisogyny#I may or may not be talking about a specific post I saw that made me irritated but I didnt wanna get in an argument with internet strangers#sorry guys I'm still heated over freaking collin allred capitulating to ted cruz and throwing trans girls under the bus bc he didnt have the#guts to stick to his morals#and called them ''this idiotic business with boys in girls sports'' or some crap#as if trans girls don't deserve to play the sports they love. like I imagine if they blocked trans men from being physicists or something#and I just wasn't able to pursue the career I want? that would destroy me#and I still had to vote for him because the other options were ted cruz and some freaking libertarian.#sorry thats all tangential but can we not use the same rhetoric that all these politicians do as an excuse to kick trans women out of public#life PLEASE 🙏#...also I really hate the Popular Transmasc Ideology that says that we all experience life as basically the same as a cis woman & never have#to navigate having male privilege & being an ally to women#and all have some sort of Innate Connection to femaleness or womanhood or whatever bc 'obviously' we all grew up just like girls do#ugh#this one's going out there sans editing so dont yell at me if I worded smth weird please 🙏
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Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.
#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family#after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay#like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad#Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin#He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce#He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom#The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole#Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3#Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less??#He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette#Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store#and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him#Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have#Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma#Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens#That’s the tragedy. The drama.#Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones#It was inevitable#Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind#batfam#batman#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#damian wayne#bruce wayne
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Okay to reblog to help sample size!
#erurandomness#erubabbles#fanfiction#fanfic#I have a few longfics I've come to realize I'll probably never finish#but they have like 50k words and maybe people would enjoy the beginning?#and i *want* to finish them. I just don't know if I'll ever get that spark back that'll let me finish. it's frustrating#my perfectionism has kind of paralyzed me and a mix of that and drifting fandoms has me wondering#would people like it if i shared them so they could experience what's been written? or is it not worth it if they won't be updated?#fic tag
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Baby Junior's First Steps (based on a scene from Bluey)
Prompt from my buddy @vadfannypack! Everyone thank them Right NoW!!
#tmnt#rottmnt#casey jones#casey jones jr#april o'neil#tmnt sunita#cassandra jones#don't call her Cass/Cassie#my art#I've never watched Bluey but I love how into it my friends are#anyways ermmm if anyone mentions the turtles vis-a-vis parenting Junior you're getting Blocked I'm not dealing with you#they help SURE but I SWEAR if another female character's development gets shafted in favor of a male character's I'm going to EXPLODE#Casey gets to be Junior's mom for a good while before she dies and you can pry that belief from my cold dead hands#I don’t play about curating my social media experience if I don’t like your vibe I don’t have to see you#anyways anyways yippeee adorable babu Juniorrrr I had a LOT of fun drawing these and almost died from cuteness aggression
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hihi!! i got the COOLEST opportunity to be a spot artist for @LMKFanzine aka Megapolis Mania! and guess what? LEFTOVER SALES ARE OPEN NOW!
run along now and go check it out! we all worked super hard on it <3 https://lmkfanzine.bigcartel.com
#lego monkie kid#lmk fanart#lmk sun wukong#lmk macaque#lmk sandy#lmk pigsy#lmk tang#lmk fandom#monkie kid#digital art#fandom zine#fan zine#zine promo#cw eyestrain#bright colors#cw bright colors#eyestrain#ik i mostly post DCA content rn cause they have a death grip on me but LMK was a special experience for me!#i met so many people and made so many friends/mutuals with talented artists while also learning new things and-#honestly getting the chance at unique opportunities i NEVER thought would happen to me lol#most of my LMK fanart is buried no longer public due to my art being stolen + reposted WAYY MORE than i was comfortable#but maybe i'll post art again idk yet <3 anyway spread the word to ur lmk friends
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Velvet Goldmine (Todd Haynes, 1998)
#velvet goldmine#another film i watched once around 20 years ago and then never again#but it stayed with me#and rewatching it has been an experience#truly bizarre and beautiful film#and don't get me started on the soundtrack it fucks SO HARD#films 2024#i made this#i just want a tag for the things i personally put out into the world
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Commission for @knightdelt ! This was such a pleasure to work on and i'm actually so happy with the result hehe thank u so much for commissioning me!!<3
#imma be real ill never get tired of shadowtav comms#anyways i rly like hw this came together with the background!#even tho the bg took me SO long for some reason#i think its just general lack of experience w backgrounds#commission#bg3#shadowheart#art#baldurs gate 3#bg3 tav#shadowtav#shadowheart x tav
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