#that he's not fine people diagnose him both physical and mental problems they say it's for a fact about this or that just to be provedwrong

[nunap]

I can't stand kpoppies when they project and deduce what's wrong with an idol and tell everyone info that is just a fandom theory, like it's raw facts. If you don't know don't assume and don't spread misinformation

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

iwtv ep 3 rewatch thoughts

Louis: I don’t want you kill people anymore, there it is.

Lestat: A fish that doesn’t swim. A bird refusing to fly.

I’m borrowing this statement to use for Louis in this moment - I believe this is when Lestat diagnoses Louis with hysteria.

In this scene the power imbalance between them becomes defined more by patriarchal gender dynamics. Lestat dives into a more rigid paternalistic approach when dealing with what he perceives to be Louis’ irrational shame of being a vampire and going against his very nature despite what Lestat has been trying to teach him. This reading of their relationship is intentional. so much so that while he says this the focus of the camera pans out to frame a shot of Antoinette walking past and there’s a parallel shot of Louis and Lestat sitting at a table next to another couple, a man and a woman who are presumably husband and wife, where both husbands’ (Lestat and the man) gazes follow after Antoinette and Louis and the wife literally notice at the same time. This is them (as in the writers etc. etc.) being really over handed about what they’re implying about Loustat’s relationship/marriage/companionship moving forward. Louis is literally sitting on the same side the wife is sitting and Lestat the husband. Antoinette poses a very similar threat to both Louis and the wife who is a bw (only her black husband could die behind Antoinette, at worst, given the era).

For what it’s worth (not much) I don’t think Lestat is actively plotting in the sense of being aware that he is forcing a gendered hat on Louis that doesn’t fit. I think he believes that this is a role Louis is suited for, especially if he’s drawing from the trauma of his relationship with his mother and the ways Louis might remind him of her. What I mean by that is his focus is on the front he see that Louis is putting on. He thinks he’s removing the offending hat Louis is, for a reason he can’t understand (and won’t bother to), clinging to. I think he believes the final frontier of Louis’ problems is simply submitting to his vampire nature (and to him lbfr) which i talked about in the tenor scene. (He doesn’t realize he hasn’t escaped the confines of humanity, he just benefits from them more in a way that lends to his ability to live as if they don’t apply to him)

Louis’ acting like he’s not a vampire and Lestat likens this to his business “a cover, an illusion to throw off the scent of the dogs.” The section of the Azalea where they are engaging in “polite conversation,” where the word “vampire” is off limits is a front for the nefarious business of trafficking women where consumption of bodies is allowed as long as Louis can separate himself from it. Pimping hidden in the shadows of the Azalea, the way he seeks to hide his vampirism in the shadows of his humanity. Bluffing is fine in a game of poker against humans Lestat believes is beneath him—against human’s he naively believes he elevated Louis above by giving him the dark gift—but it’s no way to live as a Vampire and it’s no way to love Lestat.

This is most offensive to Lestat, and I don’t doubt concerning given the impact it will have on Louis. Lestat: “You’re going to struggle. I fear for the feline population of New Orleans.”

He’s being really snarky about this, but I believe he means it. Louis’ hunger will not be satiated by eating cats or other small animals. He will be weakened physically and mentally by it. Lestat drives this point in by saying he’s gonna render them extinct in the area, behind this reluctance to kill or feed from humans. Lestat fails to see Louis is trying to regain some semblance of control over his life where he has very little control over how so many things are playing out against his favor even with the success of the Azalea which is unstable. There’s also the situation with his family. The fact that he has to kill to survive but doesn’t want to. the fact that he believes himself already damned, but still full of shame and guilt. Then as things worsen between him and Lestat etc. etc. He needs something to control.

Lestat sees this as more than just a moral quandary just not in the way it could have lent to the understanding of Louis so much as it clearly imo pokes at Lestat’s insecurities about whether he can be loved for who he is fully. He sees himself as above humanity, fully immersed in being a vampire and proud too and Louis is rejecting that so in a way, to Lestat, he’s rejecting him and the dark gift he’s given. He thinks he’s being played the fool. (“I can pretend the fool”). Louis agreed to all these things and now he’s switching up and holding out. (marriage contract etc. etc.) Lestat overcorrects so egregiously he’s the agent to his own fear being realized—the threat of Louis leaving him.

I don’t think i’m saying anything of a revelation to say Lestat can stop himself from acting out. I don’t think it’s anything new to say he has a clear need and demand for attention. He immediately follows this up with causing a scene and performing. He hops on stage and plays the piano for and with the people of the Azalea—what Louis seems more inclined to give his time and energy to rather then enjoying being a vampire and his new life with Lestat. Plus It’s not like it doesn’t work a little. Louis’ in 2020 in Dubai with a whole new husband crediting his white ex for something i doubt he actually was the catalyst for. idk I have my doubts about his claim about the Wolverine Blues. I think Danny being openly and immediately doubtful, as far as to play it, was intentional in making us question that as well imo.

He does this again tho. In part because it sort of worked in his favor this time especially since he threw the scent of this being what he does when he feels threatened (which i believe to be the main reason he does it again) to he was helping Louis out bc the pianist was gonna leave Louis. An interesting redirection considering this is a reaction to the fear that Louis will leave him. He’s playing poker. and he sort of* won this hand. So yeah he does it again, but more manically, later on with Louis’ preference of military men (i just know he thought about that sailor at the bar and it sent him over the edge) when he sees Louis would rather let an old flame do him “some face” (🤭) and eat a dog than fuck him and feed with him. but let’s not jump ahead. let’s let ep3 seduce us as Louis has been seduced!!!

antoinette brown said she gone be here all night y’all she really claimed the eternal night from jump. you can see the moment Lestat gets the idea to torment Louis with the “rotisserie chicken” (🤭 anon you will always be famous). She passed by and he turned so quick to Louis all bright eyed like “you’re going to struggle” ☹️ knowing he gonna be the agent of that particular struggle.

*i say sort of bc Louis is impressed by the scene he created when he starts playing, and it probably smoothed things over that night, but he doesn’t budge on his disordered eating bc that’s not how it works Lestat!!!! (“did i forget to mention i’m terrible at this game” or something to that effect)

[shycoffeeland]

TONY STARK HEADCANON LIST

This includes: mental illness mentions (ptsd, depression, anxiety and their associated side effects)

Doesn't fall asleep until 3AM on a good day, has accidentally made himself slightly nocturnal.

Is on citalopram and hates it, but it's kept a lot of his anxiety at bay.

Forgets he shouldn't drink on his medication, and finds himself in spirals only to be reminded by his AIs once he's already starting to panic about it

He shows people he appreciates them by buying them things. Has no problem blowing three grand on the fly for a lunch at an insane elite restaurant purely just to say thank you to you.

Always has a headache and is always a bit dizzy.

It's rare, but it's a known thing amongst his close friends that he faints. He can't tell if it's an underlying physical issue, stress manifesting, or just exhaustion.

Gets chest pains every so often and always thinks "this is it. I'm dead." (The arc reactor is functioning perfectly fine)

Literally hates most people he interacts with and does very little to hide the fact he doesn't really care

ADHD. THE ADHD ON THIS MAN.

He has combined type and got diagnosed at 21, despite how early he graduated both college and high-school, he only ever saw doctors after his parents died.

Hyperfixates so intensely on making new tech for himself, to the point that if he feels he's almost got it, he won't leave his desk for hours and hours. Pepper has to literally pull him away to make him eat.

Doesn't 100% have a grasp on who he really is.

Had a Ton of weird phases as a kid

Very particular about what coffee he drinks, as he doesn't have real adhd meds; because they have heart-related side effects he doesn't want to risk.

Hates how everything feels when he's trying to sleep. He hates how quiet everything is, how dark and how much can happen with his guard down.

Blames himself for a lot but takes it out on other people.

His memory is insane. He'll remember just about anything you tell him. Random anecdote from when you were a kid and that's why you love going to the zoo? Guess what, you're going at the weekend. At the same time though, he often gets details badly misaligned because of how fast his head goes. (Strawberries in iron man 2)

His social medias are so entertaining and well put together, but his twitter is managed for him, and everyone clocked the difference between them instantly, so it's now an inside joke in-universe and there's tons of memes about it.

Pays for random kids college fees and gets them jobs at Stark.

Out of guilt, he set up an organisation that looks after people with severe ptsd and destroyed homes from avengers-related incidents.

Wears bleu de chanel

Keeps tabs on his loved ones when he can. He gets worried really fast.

Can't regulate tone and often ends up being incredibly offensive without even realising it

Doesn't do his own groceries and rarely cooks, but looks like an excited kid on Christmas when the kitchen gets restocked by an assistant

Had a masters degree before he had his drivers license

Gets very uncomfortable in deep conversations, but bites his tongue and listens when it's serious. He only really listens if he's close with who he's talking with though.

Goes for walks when he can't sleep or has a nightmare.

Has kneejerk reactions to loud noises, even if it's just a tray falling off a shelf and clashing on the floor, he's ready to fight and takes forever to calm down

Is horrible at dancing

Is amazing at guitar, and knows how to play all his favourite rock classics.

[supernovaodessa]

I'll send this as an Ask rather than an unsolicited DM, but the sadness in that Brittney Spears GIF caught my eye. Are you ok? Feel free to ignore/delete this, I just thought I'd check in.

I know the Brittney Spears gif was from the other day, but I only just discovered this ask so I apologize 🖤

There's times when you read something that touches you and before you even have the time think about it, you're crying. This was one of them. Thank you so much for checking in. For caring. Usually if someone besides my partner asks me that, I know all the only answer they want or expect to hear is "I'm fine." But because your concern was so genuine I want to be able to be honest about it. Especially because you were able to hone in on it all from a gif.

I'm not doing well right now. The anniversary of my mom being diagnosed with lung cancer last year came around the middle of September. I've been thinking about it a lot. How much life changed when it was already hard to begin with. Her chemo and radiation is done now, but she still has immunotherapy every fortnight. Throughout her entire treatment, I was her sole caregiver. I've no problem with it and would not have wanted it any other way. She's my best friend, has been my entire life and I live for her. However, both her and I realized how alone we are when she was fighting for her life. And it was an indescribably hard lesson to learn during the most terrifying time. We learned how conditional the love was from everyone in our lives. From friends, to the closest family members we loved and trusted. My mom was always the one who took care of things for people. Took care of everyone before she took care of herself. We realized that the people who kept taking and taking and taking just couldn't be bothered when she had nothing left to give anymore.

I'll be honest when I say that I'm a pretty cynical and pessimistic person. But any little bit of hope I had in people died when all of this happened. It broke me because I saw how much it broke her. To see a woman wasting away to nothing, crying because she can't understand what she's done to these people to deserve to be treated in such a way. Why they don't love her anymore. To see her feel such fear to live the rest of her life feeling as though she has no one to rely on. It breaks my fucking heart. I find myself thinking about it during the last couple weeks and it makes me uncontrollably sob. For what she went through, and for my own fear. Of realizing that if something happens, I have no one. No family or friends to rely on. (I don't include my partner in this statement, by the way. He's done everything he can and has gone above and beyond anything I could have asked of him. I know he knows this, but I wouldn't have survived the last year of life if it weren't for him.)

Part of the fear I feel is because I'm quite sick myself. I've been battling a plethora of chronic illnesses and pain for the last 15 years. I worry that I can't take care of my mom, especially if I can't take care of myself. Pain doesn't care if I really need to work a 15 hour day 6 days a week. Or if I have to stay up the entire night taking care of my mom. It doesn't discriminate. And because of the trauma of the last year, I've really broken down physically, mentally and emotionally. I've only just turned 30, but I feel like I'm 80. I'm just...so fucking tired. My soul is so tired.

So when I saw that post that said "do you wanna come to my house and do absolutely nothing with me?" It was just like....yes. I want that so desperately. I want to be little again. I want to watch The Land Before Time VHS tapes whilst coloring in my favorite Little Mermaid coloring book with a brand new box of crayons. I want to be carried to bed and kissed goodnight, cuddling my stuffed animals and waking up with no pain. I want to be a teenager again and ride around at night with my best friend listening to music. I want to be the young adult I once was. Being a makeup artist for Chanel during the day and a classical musician at night doing Broadway shows or symphonies. And I wish I could be the woman I always dreamt of being at this age. I'm mourning the life I wanted to live, as well as the one I wanted to provide for my mom. There's so much I want. Or wish was different. But most of all, I just want to feel safe.

I apologize profusely for how long this response was. It was a way of answering you honestly, as well as getting everything off my chest that I've kept buried inside me for over a year. I know we've only spoke briefly before, but I want you to know how much it means to have someone care. To ask after me, especially when you didn't have to. I hope with all of my heart that you always keep the kind and loving nature that comes from your heart. Please don't let anything in life ever take that away. For the sake of anybody that comes your way, but especially for yourself. Most importantly, I hope you always have someone that checks in on you, too. In life. Online. Where ever you may be. You so deserve a hug right now and I'm sending you the biggest ones I can find. xx

[celiaelise]

So my dad and stepmom have been watching "Love On The Spectrum", and I ended up watching a couple episodes with them.

The show is fine, idk, I don't really have thoughts on it right now. What I DO have thoughts on is how my father responds to it.

He always spoke about the people on the show as such an Other! Now, let me be clear. No one in my family is diagnosed with autism. However, I strongly suspect most, if not all, of us have it, and my dad's the person who I have the least doubts about. (with myself being second) Also to be clear, I have not voiced this suspicion to my father.

He KNOWS he resembles an autistic person, and has been told so by more than one third party! But he seems to think people who are "successful" don't count, or whatever. (Which, I suppose if we're going by the very strict medical definition of "a disorder", could be seen as true.)

But when I pointed out that one of the autistic people on the show doesn't seem to have enough information on a topic, and say, "someone should have explained this to him!" my dad says, "they do explain it to them, but they don't seem to be able to conceptualize romance and relationships the way we do." Like, excuse me, who's "we"?? You KNOW I'm 28 and have NEVER been on a date; the same age OR OLDER as some of the people on the show whose lack of romantic experience is being portrayed as remarkable.

An autistic man goes on a date with a woman who tells him she's a pre-K teacher, and my dad goes, "oh! so she's not also autistic." (I worked as a teacher at daycare/preschool for four years.) And then expresses that he'd been wondering if it's even moral or appropriate for someone without autism to be in a relationship with someone autistic. I remind him that one of my friends, whose years-long relationship my father is aware of, has autism, and their partner doesn't. (I don't remind my father that he, himself, appears to be an autistic man in a relationship with a nuerotypical woman.)

My father tries to correct himself, without having the specific vocabulary to, that he means people like in the show, who live with their parents at the age of thirty. "Physically they're capable of taking care of themselves, so, y'know, there must be some kind of mental problem." I don't point out that I, myself, will turn 29 in a couple months, and, though I do live alone in my apartment, I receive a pretty significant amount of support, financially and otherwise, from both my parents. He maybe doesn't understand just how bad I am at "taking care of myself" l am, even aside from the money.

Perhaps he doesn't know that I can't even walk through my space normally because there's so much stuff everywhere, that I only shower every other day and I'm doing well to brush my teeth twice a week, that I can barely keep myself fed and never cook, or that I'm currently struggling not to get fired over being late because I struggle to process the linear passage of time. Not to mention that I need an entire armada of medications every day just to function at THIS level!!

Honestly I've lately been considering the possibility that I might never free myself from my parents' support, what that would mean and what it would look like. Because sometimes I'm like, "Wow I really AM disabled", and even doing my current job, (which is easy, and full of autistic people) seems like a huge challenge.

So, anyway, idk. I related more to the people on the show than my dad seems willing to recognize, and that doesn't feel great. Plus, like, even if I'm wrong, and we AREN'T autistic, what benefit is there to distancing ourselves from autistic people??? From being like, "they're NOTHING like ME."?

[miss-kittyy]

Rewriting Briarlight and Longtail’s Deaths

So I am disabled, like very disabled, I am %50 of the teenagers ever diagnosed with my special combination of pain disorders, and I also unfortunately hyper fixated on warrior cats, which is bad news for me because warrior cats is super ableist, and to add insult to injury, the fandom can also be pretty ableist.

My biggest problem with the majority of “anti-ableist” AUs is that they “fix” the ableism stemming from the narrative and able bodied characters by making the disabled character less disabled, this so bad for many reasons. I’ve talked more about in other posts. The justification that real life disabled cats are less doesn’t make it not ableist, since when was warrior cats meant to be realistic? If you’re making an au where the disabled cats function like actual disabled cats you also have to make all the cats genetically accurate, and retcon Lionblaze lifting a tree.

My problem with warrior cats is not that the disabled characters cannot become full conventional warriors, I’d like it if they got to choose what duties the perform instead of being crammed into the medicine den, but I don’t care about Cinderpelt not being able to complete a marathon. Most of the fandom seems to think the issue is that the disabled character are not useful enough, instead of the way that able bodied characters deny of them agency and make remarks like “you wouldn’t want to return to a life like her’s would you?”. Disabled people do not need to be “useful” to be worthy and empowering.

It’s very obvious that most of the fandom just wants the disabled cats to be more palatable to abled bodied people, so I’ve decided to make my own rewrite instead to hopefully make myself feel better. A lot of these things are inspired by my own experiences and not every disabled person is looking for the same things in representation, this is totally self indulgent.

The goal of this AU is to highlight the many unique and valuable aspects disability and how being disabled does not infringe upon anyone’s worth, ever.

- Longtail doesn’t die in the storm, Briarpaw is still injured, but he’s found besides her, trying his best to help her cling to life.

- after Briarpaw begins to recover he stands up to Millie and other cats insulting her quality of life, he says her journey will be hard, but it is one worth taking.

- She asks him why he’s an elder, and he decides to request to have his warrior ship restored as Briarpaw is dreading the life of an elder.

- On his first patrol the cats accompanying him insist on speaking to him in an incredibly infantilism tone, and whispering amongst themselves over what he can or can’t do, without consulting him,

- He initially gives up on patrolling after that insufferable experience.

- Briarlight begins to create marks and blobs on the wall of the medicine den using crushed up dead herbs she asks him to retrieve some berries for her, and he complies.

- Jayfeather shows him how he navigates the territory with the help of some of the sighted cats, and Mousefur is quick to volunteer as his guide. He finds her company surprisingly empowering. He realizes that it was not his blindness which was limiting his abilities, but the other cats attitudes.

- Mousefur and Longtail return with mouthful of berries and herbs, Briarlight describes to him what she’s drawing on the side of the den and he helps he mound the materials into paint.

- The cats begin to pop into the medicine den to see Briarlights painting and soon Jayfeather has to kick her out occasionally so they’d stop crowding him, she’s given the walls of camp to decorate instead.

- She begins to illustrate Longtails stories of the old territory and Bloodclan, and this new form of storytelling becomes a tradition amongst Thunderclan.

- because more young cats are aware of the clans history it becomes harder for the dark forest to recruit them, unfortunately, Blossomfall’s resentment towards her sister means she never cared to listen.

- Ivypool is still recruited and trained like in canon, given her relationship with the dark forest was much more emotionally charged and manipulative than just plain lies.

- at a gathering Longtail meets Grasspelt who inquires about Briarlight, Longtail is surprised about how little he knows as the she-cat had mentioned how well they got along as apprentices. Despite Millie nagging him not to tell him the truth about her daughter he does anyways, but puts much more emphasis on how well she’s doing than Millie expected. Grasspelt thinks this sounds really cool and decides that he is going to see her and her paintings, and that nobody can stop him. Longtail makes sure to put any opposing cat in their place, but Briarlight is a very respected Clanmate, so most warriors don’t say anything.

- Briarlight is nervous and doesn’t want to come out of the medicine den at first, but when Grassheart darts into the den holding berries and flowers for her to paint with she quickly warms up to her visitor.

- Grassheart is happy to tell Briarlight that he’s never been able to be a “functioning” warrior, and that he has always imagined that his spirit is shaped different, the medicine cat says his body is normal, but he’s never been able to keep focus in a fight or react as quickly as he should be able to while hunting. (He’s autistic because I say so)

- As dusk nears he’s visually hesitant to return to Riverclan and when Longtail inquires on why he says that he hasn’t felt so “here” for a long time. On the way back he wanders off and comes back with a chipmunk, when returning to Riverclan territory his father, Mintfur, is shocked to see his catch. After talking with his family a bit he realizes that it was the noise from the river that was making him so tense and dissociated, Brackenfur, who was escorting him, notices that he keeps rubbing himself on the ground and wincing.

- For the next couple moons Grasspelt returned to Thunderclan to bring Briarlight plants that only grow in Riverclan territory, he begins trying to fish from the quite lazy stream in their territory and soon both him and Briarlight have got it down.

- Longtail notices the sadness present whenever Grasspelt left and exclaims that it’s rather stupid that he’s living somewhere so unsuited for him just because of words long repeated.

- Grasspelt confesses that he feels the same, but knew he wasn’t supposed to say anything. Briarlight tells Longtail that her and the Riverclan warrior had been thinking of each other as mates for moons.

- Longtail accompanies Jayfeather to the next half moon meeting where he proposes his addition to the warrior code, “no cat should be confined to laws which harm them due to an inherent physical or spiritual difference.” (Cats don’t really know how brains work, so they see mental disabilities as a difference within a cats spirit)

- A moon later the leaders meet to discuss this proposition, it is accepted and Grasspelt makes the journey to Thunderclan for the final time.

- Grasspelt is renamed Grassspirit when becoming a Thunderclan warrior, unlike prior renaming of disabled cats this is a celebration.

- Grassspirit spends most of his time taking care of the elders and kits, he’s incredibly compassionate especially with kits and is able to solve many problems within the nursery.

- When twigkit and Violetkit arrive in Thunderclan Briarlight and Grassspirit help raise them, after Violetkit is taken Briarlight and Twigkit paint her on the side of Thunderclan camp.

- Briarlight still gets sick and her illness progresses without any treatment, Grassspirit notices her trying to hide it and when Longtail finds out he’s very upset. Jayfeather frantically treats her, expressing his frustration that she didn’t tell them sooner, the second Millie steps out she breaks down and explains that she just wanted to deal with it herself, and perhaps if she were successful Millie would finally treat her like an adult.

- Longtail gives Millie a stern talking to, he tells her that Briarlight is a warrior of Thunderclan and as her clanmate she should show her some respect.

- Millie is inherently very reactionary, as she had not realized the full extent of her suffocation, but eventually after a couple moons her and Briarlight begin to rekindle their relationship, like adults.

- Blossomfall sees how Brairlight wasn’t basking in their mother’s attention like she imagined, and feels the urge to seek out an actual sisterhood after ignoring Briarlight for moons and moons.

- Briarlight isn’t really mad at her sister, and understands why she felt the way she did. Jayfeather suggests that Blossomfall help Briarlight with her painting, Blossomfall seems put off with the suggestion of being her sister’s assistant.

- The interactions that follow are less than ideal, Blossomfall commends Briarlight’s able friends (Thornclaw, Poppyfrost, Alderheart, etc) for being so nice to her, as if that’s not what friends do. She seems very sad the entire time, sighing when her sister dragged her legs around with her mouth to sit more comfortably, even though she was completely fine. When watching her paint she comments that it’s good she has “something to keep her busy”, and finally she expresses her view, of Briarlight’s injury and her (Blossomfall’s) suffering being all worth it because of her talents, as if her life was not worth living to begin with.

- Briarlight tells her that if that’s truly what she wants she’s going to have to put more effort into understanding and respecting her way of life, and that she won’t apologize for their mother’s actions.

- When Blossomfall has her kits they take a liking to Auntie Briarlight, and Blossomfall seems to have reflected on their past interactions, trusting her sister to watch her kits. Briarlight teases a bit, a subtle way of telling her not to rush things, but they do begin to feel like something close to sisters.

- Right before Briarlight’s Nieces and Nephews are made warriors Longtail dies of Greencough. Throughout the entirety of his sickness he kept his sense of humour, his mean streak, and his immense love for what he had made of his clan.

- At his vigil Grassspirit began whaling like a bird in new-leaf, he insists that the vigil is too sad, and that Longtail wouldn’t want everyone moping around, for Starclan’s sake, his life was good. Standing amongst them, Longtail’s spirit can feel every cat in Thunderclan standing around him, singing the song of a life well lived.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

Yes hi, I'd love to know more about your tourettes sokka hc if you're up for it 👀 I'm starving for tourettes hcs so 👀

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!! I can talk about this SO MUCH (I will warn now, there will be some Zukka in this) okay so I guess I’ll start at the beginning...

Sokka was six when he started showing symptoms

It started with just some motor tics but everyone kind of just attributed it to this kid has a lot of energy ahhh

It became more noticeable when he kept almost killing himself with weapons because of his tics and slight carelessness

That’s one reason why he loves boomerang so much, none of the other weapons felt right to him and they would always get in the way of his tics, but he could throw boomerang and it would come back to him so he could keep throwing it and it made him feel calm

Then, Sokka started saying stuff that he didn’t mean to say, but again, everyone was just like hyper kid because it’s not like he was doing anything wrong

But they realized something was up when Sokka started yelling “FIRE NATION” without intending to and sending the whole tribe in a panic

So, Hakoda took Sokka to a nearby trustworthy Earth Kingdom village and that’s where Sokka got diagnosed with Tourette’s (and ADHD)

One of the things with Sokka is touch, like, he feels like touch is constricting and restraining sometimes. The problem is, he LOVES touch, he is a touchy person, but when someone touches him without telling him first or asking him, he doesn’t like it.

Sometimes he mentally shuts down when it happens, sometimes he tics more, the reaction depends on his anxiety levels and who touched him and when and where

The only people he gave a pass to was Kya and Katara. He didn’t even like it when Hakoda put a hand on his shoulder.

It was weird, he could feel the difference when Katara and Kya touched him compared to anyone else and he felt bad because he wanted his dad to hug him, but it felt so wrong

So, Sokka loves touch, but he likes to initiate it

So, moving forward, Sokka and Katara meet Aang, he’s the Avatar, they join and you know, there’s Aang the Avatar, Katara the Waterbender, and Sokka the guy with Tourette’s on the team

At least, that’s how they are known amongst the Fire Nation

Going undercover is so fun for Sokka, but he also has to be really conscious of what he’s doing and what he says and trying to suppress

It takes a lot out of him, but he knows he literally has to do it or he could get caught or expose them and Aang or Katara could get caught

On occasion, he has tic attacks (and for those who don’t know, they’re essentially a really bad TS day or moment where your tics are more consistent and seem to hurt more or you just have like an unending moment of tics where you just can’t stop for a little while. They are usually caused by anxiety or overstimulation or something like that, but they differ for everyone with TS)

The first time it happened in front of Aang, the sweet child panicked because he didn’t really understand what was happening and why Sokka was doing that and really what TS was

Katara is an angel, seriously. She is so sweet to Sokka when this happens and she knows exactly how to ground him and help him get through it

(Seriously, Sokka appreciates her so much. She is genuinely the one exception and anytime she wants a hug or any kind of touch she is allowed to do it)

the first time it happens in front of Toph when she joins is in Bitter Work when Sokka was in the hole

Just looking at Sokka in the whole sends my anxiety up because he literally can’t move! So like, imagine being in a hole for like five hours+ and needing to move like physically and you can feel the sensation in your body and it hurts and burns and tingles but you can’t. Sokka is not having a good time

So, Toph drags him out of the hole and is freaked out because she can’t see what’s happening and it’s scary because Sokka is making noises and hyperventilating and his heart rate is through the roof and Aang ran to get Katara and she can’t touch him because when she pulled him out of the hole he shrieked

She’s cool with it after that, she doesn’t think of him any less or anything, but it terrified her the first time because no one told her he had TS because they forgot to mention it and she couldn’t see what was happening

We all know that Sokka loves Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors with his whole entire heart and once they kicked his butt and helped him learn that sexism is bad, they were so fun to work with?? They taught him their style, obviously, but they also helped him incorporate his TS into it and how to use it to his advantage, something he had been struggling with his whole life

One of the things Sokka loved most about Yue is that she never even mentioned his sounds or movements she just let him do it without questioning him and that doesn’t happen a lot

I feel like Sokka having TS would make his time with Piandao even kore meaningful because he really struggles to keep his hands still so sword fighting does not come naturally to him

Piandao loves it though because it just makes Sokka even more clever and resourceful and he takes his time with Sokka, helping him as much as he can and never getting angry or anything when he can’t stand still

He also added more to what Sokka learned from the Kyoshi Warriors about incorporating his TS into his fighting and using it to his advantage

Not only was his sword an extension of his arm, but his TS was an extension as well

Did Toph and Aang help Sokka incorporate his tics into their scams? Yes, yes they did

Zuko joining the team was weird for Sokka because they kind of just clicked and he realized that they both have a weird thing with touch

On the balloon to Boiling Rock, Sokka is just comfortable around Zuko and his tics are like “cool yeah, have a break” and so he doesn’t tic and Zuko just “why aren’t you ticcing?”

and Sokka is ??? “Huh?”

and Zuko “You usually tic but you aren’t now. Why?”

and Sokka essentially explains that TS is weird and random and sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t, but he’s really comfortable and calm so his body is like “ye, let’s chill for now”

and Zuko is like “oh. that’s good. I kinda miss it though”

and Sokka d i e s because what?? Someone likes his tics enough to miss them? Like, they don’t annoy Zuko and he doesn’t tune them out?

and the bender goes on to explain that he likes the noises, they remind him that he is doing the right thing and that he’s here and he didn’t hurt team Avatar and they’re just comfortable / pleasing to the ear

and Sokka DIES

but then Zuko is like mmm maybe you should stay in the balloon and I’ll go to Boiling Rock and Sokka got pissed because he thinks Zuko said it because he’s a nonbender and he starts panicking and ticcing and Zuko panics and kind of just grabs his hand and Sokka... Sokka doesn’t hate it? Like, it feels nice and doesn’t agitate him?

but Zuko was like no I mean because everyone in the Fire Nation guard knows about the guy on team Avatar with TS and I don’t want you to get hurt

At one point in the prison courtyard, Sokka verbally tics really loudly about the moon and some guards hear and head to where they are so Zuko covers for him by screaming about how much he loves the moon

One of the worst moments in Sokka’s life was when Toph was falling and he grabbed her, but he wanted to tic and he knew that if he did, Toph would fall and die and he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t

(he still has nightmares about it happening)

when Sokka becomes an ambassador, some people are pissed because well 1) Watertribe 2) he’s a child 3) they suck 4) they think he’s distracting with his tics and Zuko is not here for it so he will destroy them

Like one time (after they started dating) Zuko overheard some councilors mocking Sokka’s tics and he got PISSED like so pissed and he went off and the found Sokka and hugged him because he is allowed to

oh! Sokka and Zuko’s thing is like hand-holding okay? They both kind of hate it because weird touch stuff, but it’s okay when they do it to each other?? Like, it feels right and like they’re completed and whole and it’s nice

before they start dating, they kind of do it a lot. Like, night before Zuko’s coronation, Sokka finds Zuko and he’s freaking out because what if he ends up like his dad and Sokka kind of just... grabs his hand and they sit there

Sokka is panicking because chronic pain and the cold of home makes it worse and Zuko finds him crying in the library and just... holds his hand

Zuko keeps little things on him all the time like paperclips and paper and writing utensils and things that click and buttons and stuff so if Sokka looks stressed during a meeting he can slip something under the table to him so he can play with it

Sokka also draws a lot during meetings, like, he doesn’t look at anyone throughout the whole meeting, even when he talks. He is able to focus more and pay more attention when he is doing something with his hands so he draws and doodles and sometimes takes notes

Sometimes he just writes the same word or sentence over and over again throughout the whole meeting

Sokka has sensory issues and a lot of noise stresses him out

It’s kind of the opposite of Zuko’s sensory issues? Like, Zuko doesn’t like loud noises and Sokka doesn’t like kind of static-y noises, like... when things sound muffled or muted or people are talking kind of quietly over each other

(Zuko definitely gives Sokka massages when his tics hurt a lot)

Random, but after awhile “yip yip” became a verbal tic of Sokka’s. Sometimes, he would say “you need to yip yip” and then he’d apologize to Appa and tell him that he’s yipping just fine

Toph is kind of like Zuko in how she likes Sokka’s verbal tics

She can’t see-see, but hearing his tics is nice sometimes, especially when she worries

She likes falling asleep to some of his tics

Even though Katara and Zuko are allowed to touch him whenever they want, more often than not they ask first because friendship is magic

Suki is lovely, okay? Like, just her presence is enough to make him feel better and she approaches helping him in a different way, she just talks to him and asks him questions to help him take his mind off of it

Sokka really doesn’t hate his TS, like, yeah, sometimes it pisses him off more than he can even explain, but it’s a part of him and as much as he cherishes when he can sit still, it’s wrong, it’s not him? He sits weirdly in chairs and changes his position every two minutes, he rocks his legs in his sleep, he sometimes even finds his own tics grounding...

Over time and with help from his friends, he learned to not be ashamed and that having TS didn’t make him ant less of a warrior

also, he, Toph, and Zuko are the disabled club✌🏻(and it makes them feel better sometimes in their own little way)

I have a lot more I could say but this is already pretty long, so I’ll end this sweet with Katara is amazing and Sokka’s relationship with her is wonderful and she knows how to help him with his tics in the way that Zuko does and can help center him like no one else and Sokka just loves her so much

Okay! Ah! That was kind of a lot but I hope you like them! Anyone can feel free to add more to this or lemme know if you have any ideas!

Thank you for the ask! I enjoyed writing these:)

[tsunderedoctor]

Best Bae’s to go to when Dealing with Anxiety or Depression

Sabo

The literal king at using his words and knowing which ones will help you the best! Will tell you how much you mean to him and how amazing he thinks you are.

One of the more understanding ones as well; he to has his moments where he has negative thoughts and he knows they can eat away at you. 

Will hold you close to him and lay his chin on your head as he rubs your back. Will not judge you if you cry; actually encourages it as it helps release the stress. 

Won’t force you to talk about it and knows you will when you feel comfortable and ready to. If you decide to, he will listen adamantly and wait until you finish your thoughts before helping you find solutions to your issues (”Perhaps we should try finding facts to these beliefs before we decide they are true.”).

If you only want to rant however just let the boy know and he will just hold you for a while longer and let you two enjoy the peace together.

10/10 would recommend a therapy session with Dr. Sabo! 

Nico Robin

She has this calming way about her that just makes it easy to let her know how you are feeling. Besides, she already knew something was troubling you due to the look in your eyes. Rather than ask about it, she knew you would come at your own time if you wanted to talk about it.

Would put the book she was reading down and usher for you to sit with her at the small table she was relaxing at. Depending on the type of comfort you prefer, you can either sit next to her on the lounge chair or place your head in her lap while she plays with your hair.

Won’t even question it and she knows you would do the same for her! Feels this is the special moments that make relationships worth it; before meeting you she didn’t have anyone else to talk to about her own feelings, so she is happy she can do the same in return (”I’m glad you find comfort in my presence, it makes me happy we can be closer.”).

Once you are feeling better she will ask if you want to talk about it and if you want her advice. Won’t put her two cents in unless it is something that involves your well-being. She knows you’re a smart person, but she also knows how emotions can control even the most logical of people.

Another 10/10 Queen!

“Red Haired” Shanks

Okay so hear me out! He’s actually a good listener when he puts his mind to it! We saw how he cared for Luffy when he was upset and I think he would care the same amount for his s/o!

Will listen intently on what is bothering you and already thinking on what he can do to help or fix your thought process. Is the one to add his two cents however, especially if it’s how you view yourself (”Are you saying I have bad taste?”). 

Will get a bit offended not gonna lie if you downgrade yourself because he sees you as someone who is perfect so now you are doubting his own thoughts. Doesn’t raise his voice or tries to argue however, rather he leaves it at that and just holds you. He knows that this thought will fade and until it does he will take care of you.

This also means he doesn’t find self-deprecating jokes as funny. He will show is annoyance if you make a joke about your flaws/things you want to change (”You have to accept who you are, let others see the person I see.”).

I say 9/10 just because he will make sure before you two separate that you don’t have those negative thoughts in your head.

Vinsmoke Reiju

Another great listener and even though she might not look like she cares; on the inside she completely understands what you are going through!

Has really good observational skills so she has already been checking on you secretly throughout the day. She knows that for some people it’s hard to express their emotions and knows how difficult it can be to show that vulnerability. But she also wants to make sure you are at least physically safe during your mental depletion. 

Is extremely patient and will not show her worries upfront. However, this can backfire if her s/o won’t speak out on their own regard as well. I can see her finally deciding to speak up if it has lasted a few days.

Will be completely open about her concerns and your wellbeing (”You’ve been down the past few days and haven’t been eating, I’m worried you are going through something you feel you have to face alone.”).

She’s stubborn due to being the only girl in her family so don’t think you can get out of it, you will tell you the truth.

9/10 because sometimes she can give the impression she doesn’t care, but she really does!

Trafalgar D. Water Law

He is a doctor after all, so he knows that health comes in both physical and mental capacities. 

Gives great advice (even though he doesn’t follow it himself-). He’s already a good listener too due to his doctor skills; however his doctor behavior kicks in and now he wants to treat you rather than help you.

Wants to know everything! What were you doing before these thoughts occurred, what triggered it, do you have any coping skills you can use? It can get a bit overwhelming, but he only means well! 

You’ll have to tell him he is overwhelming you cause now he is in the doctor zone and doesn’t even realize what he is saying. Literally trying to diagnose you. (”You could have major depressive disorder, tell me again how long have these depressing thoughts been bothering you?”)

Sighs when he realizes he is causing you more stress than help. Isn’t sure what to do about the situation now and pats your head softly (”Just don’t be so hard on yourself, it will be fine, okay?”).

8/10 cause boy can’t separate boyfriend from doctor-

Tashigi 

Despite her stubborn nature; Tashigi can be very caring! She feels she owes it to her s/o to be able to listen to their concerns as sometimes she puts them in stressful situations due to her job.

However she is absentminded and sometimes says the first thing that comes to mind (which can be viewed as offensive, even when she didn’t mean it to be-). This could lead you to feeling worse and she is quick to take notice, quickly apologizing and asking what’s wrong/how can she help.

Has this look on her face as she listens to you vent; almost as if she can envision what is upsetting you. Once you finish, she tries to think her words over so she doesn’t make the same mistake twice. 

If she can’t find a solution to your problems she will suggest you two work together to find someone who can (”Let’s go ask Commander Smoker!”).

8/10 because sometimes she makes the situation worse, but can find her way out of it and be helpful!

Runner Ups:

Marco: 7/10

Vivi: 7/10

Ace: 6/10

Nami: 6/10

[luminousbravery]

Greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you to much. May I please have a romantic matchup for Homestuck or Hiveswap? Both of you want, but just whoever fits the bill is fine.

I use he/they pronouns and I’m pansexual. My Myers Briggs type is INFJ and Enneagram type is 4. My star sign is Taurus, moon sign is Gemini.

Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m rather introverted, and can be considered not a people person. I find life a little nihilistic. I’m into dressing in all black and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers, analog horror, death games, true crime documentaries, poetry, necromancy and anatomy. I typically consider myself a "Gorehound". I also like to visit abandoned hospitals and houses just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. I just have a genuine comfort in the uncomfortable.

I get a lot of monikers from friends and family like "discount vomitboyx", "doomer boy", and "Remake of Daria" before. I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start conversing, which may or may not come off as rude to people.

When I finally become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. Most of my humor comes off really insulting, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke if it becomes a problem. Even though I do have a hard time understanding physical social cues.

Lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’ve been told I’m also a laidback person. I’ve also been told I never know when to quit, and I find I hold grudges for certain things.

I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. Especially with the types mentioned above.

I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, reading and or listening to music ( Motionless in White, Deftones, System of a Down, Slipknot, Rob Zombie,,, sometimes Will Wood, The Front Bottoms, Jazmin Bean or Mother Mother, etc. ), or even occasionally playing video games or reading and talking about Greek mythology or some random documentary I read. I also do acting in my spare time, which I find really fun; and I’ve been learning to play guitar. My interests tend to be very restricted, and I shut down easily getting REALLY into new things.

I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic- and a bit of a pyromaniac. I dissociate or daydream a lot, so you can often catch me starring.

I suffer from a handful off mental and physical syndromes like autism, GERD, arthritis, asthma, depression and anxiety. These have all been diagnosed professionally, and I’m definitely not trying to make myself "quirky". I have stims where I bite the inside of my cheek, pull my hair, crack or pop my bones, pick at scabs, fidget with my fingers or toy and bounce my leg. I even hiss or squeal when I’m upset. I’ve also been developing a eating disorder. You don’t need to rocmantasize this stuff ofc, but I think it’s good to know so the person can tolerate me.

you do get to this, thanks for your time.

you gave me a lot to work with (which is kind of appreciated since some people tend to just give too little or not enough specifics.) i think i'd pair you with:

Dave. I think you two would be able to bond fairly easy. Plus, I feel like you could really help him unwind. He'd totally be into plushies eventually, as well, just give him time.

[abbybubbls]

Nothing is Wrong, Doc, Trust Me

    “Thank you for coming here today,” Dr. Iplier said, in his spot on the table. Dark just sat down on their spot, seeing that the rest of the seats were empty.

    “It’s… just me,” Dark awkwardly said.

    “I know,” Iplier replied, smiling for a second before having a serious face. “We need to talk about Wilford.”

Just at the tone of his voice, Dark knew that this had to be one of those conversations.

    “What about him,” Dark asked flatly. “He seems perfectly normal to me.”

This was usually Dark’s go-to sentence; something quick and dismissive, which would get rid of something quickly without much thought. Sure, Dark would say it whenever the topic of Wilford is brought up, but nobody has really caught onto it yet.

    “That’s what you say all the time,” the doctor said. Well, shit. “There’s no other way to put it, but Wilford is not normal. In fact, he’s the most… mentally unstable person I’ve ever met. And I’ve met a bunch of wackos ever since we came here.”

Dark frowned.

    “I don’t see how you think he’s worse than anyone else,” they said.

    “No, I don’t suppose you would,” Iplier replied, scratching his chin. “I was able to meet up with him a few days ago, and… well, I think you may need to see this.”

The doctor pulled out a piece of paper from underneath the table, and slid it in front of Dark.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Name: Wilford Warfstache (that can’t be his real name…)

Birth date: 11/9/????

Age: ???

Hair: Black

Eyes: Hazel (with a hint of pink?)

Height: 5’10

Weight: ???

Other: Pink handlebar mustache, no idea if it’s dyed - Forgets to wear pants most of the time - Carries a knife and gun everywhere, even when nothing bad is happening.

Story: Something bad enough to make him like this, I’m sure…

Now: A TV show host, even though he’s killed multiple guests… Talks to Dark… a lot. A hopeless romantic. Cheerful, friendly, but can be intimidating when he doesn’t know he is. Dismissive over time, and pops in and out of nowhere when we least expect it. Everybody suspects he has no laws of physics. He causes trouble when he says it was an accident, or he’s dismissive of it. He takes certain things too seriously, and ends up getting himself in trouble for it. Spontaneously shoots in random directions and excuses it for “target practice”. Can get very violent and easily offended. Mood swings, random violence, gun and knife handling, random bursts of singing… possibly more than that.

Likes: Dark (literally the first thing that came to his mind), fidget toys, TV, collecting weapons, vintage clothing, helping, storytelling, dancing, colors, music, straws for drinks, creativity, distractions, Bubbles™, himself

Dislikes: Interruptions, feeling alone, sitting still, too much detail, loud people, losing motivation, being lied to, smoke, thunderstorms, himself (???)

Diagnoses: Anxiety, Astraphobia, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Autophobia, Mania, Memory Loss, Schizophrenia, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Treatments: Will talk to Dark about it. Medication, therapy, or both.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Dark paused for a while after reading the paper.

    “You’re actually serious,” they said, staring at the doctor.

    “Dead,” he crossed his arms. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed what’s been going on with Wilford lately. He’s been very trigger happy this past year.”

    “He’s always trigger happy,” Dark said. “He just needs a reminder every once in a while to stay out of trouble.”

    “He almost shot Captain Magnum over choosing a song for Yancy’s karaoke party!” Iplier exclaimed, but trying to keep his voice down.

    “And?” Dark asked. “Magnum is a pirate, he’s been through worse. He lost his legs for crying out loud.”

    “He shot multiple guests on his show!”

    “He didn’t mean any of it. It was an accident every time.”

    “He almost killed our creator!”

    “Mark insulted him, he deserved it.” Dark almost sneered by saying Mark’s name, even though they knew it wasn’t the right Mark… probably.

    “He ignores his problems and blows those stupid Bubbles™ everywhere!”

    “Wilford needs a good distraction. Besides, he said those things solve all of life’s problems, why stop him?”

    “Because-!” Iplier tried not to raise his voice. Instead, he tugged at his head mirror. “Why do you always have to defend him when there are clear issues?”

    “Because Wilford has no idea what he’s doing,” Dark said, plain and simple. “He told me so. I see an innocence in that, so it’s justified, right?”

The doctor stuttered. “I- you- he- no! No, it’s not!”

Dark’s eyes narrowed, and Iplier stood up from his seat.

    “Dark, I know that you have the best intentions with him,” he said. “But you need to recognize that there are so many things wrong with Wilford! He’s traumatized for God’s sake!”

    “Wilford is fine,” Dark said through gritted teeth.

    “Have you read the paper?!” Iplier asked loudly. “It’s right in front of you!”

Dark didn’t bother to look down at the paper in front of them. “I don’t care what a piece of paper says about Will.”

    “I wrote it all myself,” Iplier said, pointing an accusing finger. “Papers don’t write themselves down.”

    “He is innocent,” Dark almost growled under their breath. “You’re lying.”

    “Dark, I’m a professional!” Iplier exclaimed. “I notice when somebody is acting unnatural, and Wilford is anything but natural!”

Dark tried not to clench their fists. “He is when he’s with me. He tells me anything and everything. Wilford is happy.”

    “I’m not stupid, Dark,” Iplier said. “I see the way you are with him, and it’s clear that you really want him to be safe. If you really care about him, why don’t you just do something about it?”

Dark breathed in. They wanted to scream. They wanted to punch a hole through the wall. Instead, they kept their voice calm and steady.

    “I’m doing what I’m doing because I know him the most,” they said. “I’ve already done so much to make sure that Wilford is alright. He’s too far gone to even try to get professional help, even from someone like you. It’s the best I can do right now.”

Iplier’s shoulders slumped. He looked like he was at a loss for words, as if Dark had won this argument. The corner of Dark’s lips crept up to make a smile, but they paused as the doctor opened his mouth. Dark quickly interrupted.

    “If you’re going to suggest we’ll go ‘Of Mice and Men’ on him, that for sure is not going to work. Wilford is far too clever to fall for something like that.”

Iplier froze, with his mouth agape. “I wasn’t going to suggest that at all.”

    “It wouldn’t matter anyway,” Dark rested their chin on their hand, looking down at the table. “He’ll always get back up.”

The doctor looked like he was at a loss for words again until he glanced to the desk at the other side of the room. Wilford’s gun resided there, right next to the TV remote. Iplier froze, having no idea if it was there the whole time he and Dark were talking.

    “Wilford left his gun here,” he said.

    “I know,” Dark replied with their eyes closed. “I’ll give it to him once I see him.”

Iplier turned to them. “He killed people with that thing.”

    “I know,” Dark repeated, quietly. “To him, it doesn’t matter. He’ll forget anyway.”

    “Then give him more reminders,” Iplier said, sitting back down in his seat.

Dark kept a glaring look at the doctor. “What?”

    “Give him more reminders,” he repeated. “Make sure he does something he’s supposed to do; drink water, take vitamins, when it’s time to eat, having time away from weapons, going outside, all that…”

    “Wilford is not a child,” Dark said, almost bitterly.

Iplier defensively put up a hand. “I know that, but just… give him some kind of schedule. At least something to give Wilford something that affects him mentally in a healthy way. Teach him grounding, suggest he goes to therapy…”

    “He already goes to the Host for that,” Dark said matter-of-factly.

    “The Host isn’t a therapist,” Iplier replied. “He’s a radio host, it’s literally in his name. He knows a thing or two about mental health, but he’s not a professional.”

He shook his head to quickly change the subject. “Look, the point is, just give him a new routine so he can have something to look forward to. Something that’s positive, and won’t be so dangerous. It can’t be that bad for him.”

Dark exhaled slowly, as if releasing an angry ghost from their nostrils. “Alright… I don’t like it, but you may be right.”

They eyed at the gun across the room.

    “Thank you very much, Dark,” Iplier said, standing up from his seat. “I know this isn’t a very fun topic for you, but I just wanted to address some concerns.”

Dark silently pursed their lips. “You’re welcome.”

The doctor nodded goodbye with a small smile, and nudged the paper closer to Dark before he turned to leave the room.

Dark sat still in their seat, staring at the TV screen. Then the gun. Then the paper.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Diagnoses: Anxiety, Astraphobia, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Autophobia, Mania, Memory Loss, Schizophrenia, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Dark’s mind was blank as they read the list of diagnoses over and over and over again. Mental health issues, Wilford has always had them. His brain just works differently because of them. Not better, but different. Dark was pretty sure that Wilford would be aware that his problems would be a bigger deal to other people than to himself.

Wilford would get in trouble, apologize or dismiss the problem, and go on about his day. None of it would really be a big deal, right? It was just something that happened, just another thing to be anxious about. Wilford was only human, after all, and humans make mistakes…

Still, it’s not a bad idea to have some type of safe routine, for Wilford, and for everybody. It can’t hurt to try. They’re just rules, like no shooting indoors. It’s not even a real punishment; it’s just grounding. It doesn’t have to be so bad.

Dark pondered to themselves… There was that one ukulele that Wilford kept begging for that one time he and Dark went on a walk around the town. Now that Dark thought about it, they could get that for Wilford the next time they go out. It’s something that Wilford wanted. It’s a positive thing to look forward to, at least.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

SO! I wrote this a few weeks ago, and I wanted to make a series with this, but then I quickly lost motivation and decided to keep this as a oneshot. This is a new headcanon of mine where Dark and Dr. Iplier befriend each other by keeping Wilford in check in terms of his mental health.

I hope you enjoyed reading this! Reblogs and likes are always appreciated! 💗

[sleephyjhs]

You Suffer with Anxiety (REACTION)

[ requested / masterlist ]

tw :: talks of anxiety throughout (no anxiety attacks)

KSJ

Whenever you felt unnecessary nerves beginning to build up within you, you took it upon yourself to prepare some tea. When you were diagnosed with anxiety as a teenager, one of the coping methods you discovered for yourself was hot drinks. The warmth from mugs somehow manages to calm you to a certain extent and steady your trembling hands.

Unknowingly to you, your partner Seokjin had easily picked up on your coping method. As you weren’t the biggest fan of caffeine, it always became apparent to him when your anxiety was particularly bad. He figured quickly that each period of anxiety was different from another and that there was no set way to help you. Any support you needed was completely in your control.

You felt sick. Anxiety never failed to strip you of your appetite. Jin would be home before long, and soon after he would begin to prepare a meal for the two of you. Everything he made in the kitchen always tasted incredible, but you always felt bad breaking it to him that you just weren’t in the mood to eat.

Soon enough, he came through the door and leaned over the armrest of the sofa to kiss your forehead, “What’s with the mugs? You never drink tea.” You shrugged, struggling to find the words, “Alright, what’s going on?”

Seokjin crouched at your head and held contact with your eyes. Only then did it occur to you that he’d figured you out, “My anxiety is pretty bad today. I don’t know why. I feel like I can’t eat, sleep, breathe-“

“Woah, it’s alright! We don’t have to eat or sleep right now. We can talk through some things if you’d like?” You shook your head. Talking about what was wrong made you feel even worse about it, “Well then, all I can offer is to leave you alone, or just.. hold you?”

Physical contact and your anxiety could often be a hit or miss, but that evening, it seemed right to you. You raised your torso from the couch to let Seokjin slide underneath and embrace you on his lap, “You don’t have to tell me anything, but I promise I’ll help you as much as I can, alright?”

MYG

The single most thing you hated about anxiety was its unpredictability. You’d experienced first hand how it easily ruined long-standing plans and disabled you from living the packed lifestyle you once did.

Everyone had different standards for being at their ‘worst’. For you, when the concept of leaving your bed became overwhelming, it signalled to you that perhaps you should take each day a bit slower.

You had felt Yoongi leave the bed early that morning for rehearsals, but as he kissed your cheek as a goodbye, you had pretended to remain asleep. Looking him in the eye would have certainly caused you to burst into tears, and the last thing you wanted to do was make him late.

While Yoongi was gone, you had chosen to stay in bed. All the premonitions you had told you that your legs weren’t strong enough to carry you anywhere else. Collapsing wasn’t on your agenda. You tried music and television, even reading. Nothing helped. You needed company. You needed to know you weren’t alone.

When the clock turned 9pm, you began to count down the minutes. He hadn’t rung to alert you he was staying later, so before long, Yoongi would be home. As you raised yourself from lying down, your stomach growled at the lack of food you had given yourself.

In all honesty, comfort food was what you really needed. Nobody made bulgogi like Yoongi. Mist of your willpower to get through the day was knowing he was treating you to your favourite when he returned home.

As you lost track of minutes, the bedroom door pushed open gently. A blur of black hair and pale skin peeked through the crack, before emerging to reveal a concerned boyfriend, “One of those days?” You nodded sullenly as he paced towards you, “Have you actually gotten out of bed today?”

“Maybe once or twice. I just feel weak.” He folded a wavy piece of hair behind you ear and offered you his hand, glossing over your pale knuckles.

“Would food help?” You nodded before Yoongi could finish his short question, “Come on then, let’s get you sorted out.” He linked your left arm in his right, and held you steadily to guide you downstairs, grasping your hand particularly to let you know he was still there.

JHS

After a year of being with Hoseok, it was finally time for him to embark on another world tour. Because of your job, you were unable to join him as much as he would have liked, which in turn caused you a decent amount of anxiety. Travelling worried you sick, and so the thought of your partner travelling was almost paralysing.

Without realising it, you sat in the artist lounge with Hoseok biting and peeling skin away from the edge of your nail. You couldn’t help it, it was just a nervous habit. As he waited for his turn to record for the new album, all the possibilities of things going wrong on an international trip played through your mind.

It wasn’t your job to mother him, you knew that well. Hoseok didn’t even know about your worries. Your concern stemmed simply from your own anxiety, and you quickly realised there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“Ah, fuck!” In the meanwhile of chewing on your fingers, you forgot to take notice of how hard you clenched your teeth, resulting in you biting more than you had anticipated.

“What happened?” Hoseok asked, drawing his eyes over to you, where you caressed a now bleeding finger, “Oh my god, let me get you a plaster.”

“No, it’s alright. It’s just a nervous habit,” you convinced him, sucking the small droplets from your tiny wound. In his silence, you gazed up to see Hoseok more confused than you ever had before, “Sometimes when I get anxious I bite my nails.”

You dreaded this moment, but after asking you what you were worried about, you confessed your anxieties about his upcoming travels, “I know saying this might not help but you really don’t have to worry, jagi. It’s safe! And you don’t have to worry about being alone either. I can always fly you out if you feel a bit left out.”

KNJ

Namjoon carried through a glass of cold water, watching you and your shaking frame more than the glass itself. After an hour of persistant crying and breathlessness, you had come to a somewhat peaceful state. Although you were calm, you still felt uneasy and unstable, which you were hoping some comfort from your partner might help.

“Just take it easy. There’s no rush for anything right now.” Namjoon urged as he placed the glass on the coffee table. You’d been sat on the hardwood floor for too long, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Not even support from another person could make you strong enough.

Sure enough, Namjoon places himself next to you on the floor and slipped an arm around your trembling shoulders. You were thankful that skinship was something you both enjoyed, “You don’t need to tell me what’s wrong. If you want to, we can talk about it if you’d like. Or we could sit here. Or do anything you’d like to do.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong, Joonie. That’s the problem. I don’t know.” You explained, your voice still shaky from the previous troubles, “Nothing’s straightforward-“

“Hey! Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay not to know what’s going on up there. Main point is, you’re safe right now. That’s all that matters.”

You paused in your thoughts for a moment to absorb the gentle comfort Namjoon’s presence gave you. Even his physical warmth made you feel better in one way or another. You didn’t want to turn him away. You needed him.

“Let’s just sit for a while. Is that okay?” Namjoon nodded and nestled his fingers between yours. Without realising, the pair of you began to rock slowly back and forth. In that moment you felt content. Still not fine, but just content.

PJM

As soon as he felt your hand begin to sweat in his, Jimin was unable to resist checking up on you. Walking around the city was something you did together regularly, but often the large morning crowds were enough to overwhelm you.

“Can we sit down for a minute somewhere?” Without needing to ask any more, Jimin led you into the next coffee shop along (which thankfully, was quite drained for the capital’s morning rush) and found you a table in a far corner where music was drowned and company was scarce.

“Usual?” He checked, before strolling to the counter to place your order. Unable to focus on the muffled commotion by the door, you rested your forearms on the table and leaned over your elbows, steadying yourself from your trembling limbs.

Although you hadn’t looked up to witness, Jimin was unable to take his eyes off you. It was endearing how much Jimin cared about you and how much he continued to demonstrate his love. What he wouldn’t tell you is that he also worried about you. A lot more than he’d ever admit to.

Before long, he carried over to you your regular tea and his iced americano and settled it between your still shaking hands, “Take your time. We have time to calm down and sit for a while. Talk to me. Talk to me about anything.”

Only blank thoughts filled your mind. You felt nothing but guilt towards your partner, “I’m sorry. I never mean to do this.”

“You don’t need to apologise, my love. I know crowds aren’t your best friend. You’re okay with me, I promise you.” His words came as a great comfort, but the regret that came woth ruining what was a perfect morning walk was unbearable, “We can chill out here for a while? Karaoke, park, cinema. Today’s all about you, okay?”

KTH

You’d never realised it, but your anxiety had led you to develop some habits that for your partner, Taehyung, had become more like warning signals.

Mental health was a struggle you had opened up to him early in your relationship. You knew that sometimes your behaviour could alert other people, and the last thing you wanted to do was make it seem like he made you uncomfortable or that you didn’t want to be there. Explaining that your expressions or habits were sometimes ahead of you came to be of benefit.

When you entered the dining room, you ignored Tae’s greeting and sat beside him. Withdrawing from conversation was an indicator of your anxiety, and so he turned off his tablet to focus on trying to talk to you, “How is everything?”

You could hear him perfectly well, but talking to him would surely induce your tears. Instead, he laid his hands out on the table. Without hesitation, you grabbed onto him.

Ignoring him was the last thing you wanted to do. In fact, you felt as though you desperately needed him. However, you didn’t want to break down in front of him, he shouldn’t have to see that, “I’ll listen to whatever you want to talk about.”

A few seconds of Tae caressing your hand pulled a tear from your eye, and within seconds, you were deep into his embrace, “I’m sorry. This is so pathetic.” You weeped in between deep breaths.

“No, it isn’t. Let’s go up to bed and get more comfortable, yeah? I’ll keep you company.”

JJK

Jungkook has been stroking your hair for the past half hour as you wound down by watching an animation film. After an anxiety attack, going back to a comfortable memory could help you sometimes. Cuddling with Jungkook only helped you to feel even better.

His gentle hand running through your hair was hypnotic and you were close to falling asleep. Something stopped you. Something was still playing on your mind.

“Jungkook?” You turned your head upwards to search for his brown bambi eyes. His small almond eyes were framed by raised eyebrows. He was listening, “I think I need to get help.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, twirling loose ends of your hair around his fingertips. You readjusted your twisted body to cause less strain on your neck and held eye contact with your partner.

“Like professional help. I can’t go on with this anxiety, it’s too much.” Jungkook nodded along with your narration, “Do you think they’d see me?”

“They can’t turn away somebody who asks for help, surely. And if for whatever reason they do, I’ll make sure we find someone who will work with you.” He moved his thumb over to your cheek, where your dried tears had created a rubber-like layer of skin.

“You don’t have to do that, really.”

“But I want to. I can’t help as much as a professional can, and I want you to feel better in your own skin. I really do, angel.”

[flowerslightning]

(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Disability and Loren

@zarohk asked for my thoughts on a Disability Studies/Media Studies perspective on the disability depictions in Animorphs.  Which was foolish, because I’m teaching an entire dang class on the subject of superheroes and mental health, so I have Many Thoughts.  [PLEASE NOTE: I am nondisabled, so if I err, please tell me so.]

Loren’s role in #49: The Diversion does a lot of things right, and a lot of things wrong.  She incurs a traumatic brain injury that results in memory loss and blindness a couple of years after Tobias is born, and lives with said injury for about ten years before Tobias finds her and gives her the ability to morph, which restores her sight but not her memory.

A few places where I commend the depiction of Loren:

It gets into the massive underemployment of disabled Americans.  Loren is smart, canny, athletic, compassionate... and working a call center job in exchange for state benefits.  Said state benefits do not afford her a decent standard of living; Tobias notes that she has few possessions and almost no time for leisure activities.  Americans with disabilities are twice as likely to be unemployed as those without, and those who do have jobs are ten times more likely to be paid less than minimum wage, e.g. in sheltered workshops.

It shows how inaccessible a lot of systems are in the U.S.  Tobias notes that Loren accidentally grabs an expired quart of milk — because nothing on the label is printed in Braille.  Putting raised text and/or Braille on food packaging is a health and safety issue, one that the U.S. ignores even though it violates its own laws (e.g. the ADA) because companies tend to do what they want and “what they want” is usually not to spend more money on packaging.  The call center and bus system are both marginally more accessible, especially when Loren has Champ to help, but they’re still clearly spaces set up for sighted people that don’t take blind users into account very well.

It shows some of the workarounds that help deal with accessibility problems.  Loren’s house is set up so that there are clear paths to and from all of the relevant spaces.  She’s doing that to allow herself to move around comfortably in that space, because she’s made it accessible for herself.  She memorizes the layout of the local store, and uses that to get around as well.  All of those details help show that she’s adjusted, and actively interacting with her own circumstances.

It drives home the difference between service dogs and pets.  This distinction is extremely important, and it gets ignored all the time by entitled ableists who want to bring their pets into stores.  Tobias and Marco both assume from the outside that it can’t be that hard to become a service animal — just do what Loren says to do, right? — but it takes Tobias 0.02 seconds to realize that it’s not that simple and that he cannot imitate Champ’s lifetime of training on the fly.  He says that he manages to get his mom home in one piece, and that that’s about all that can be said for his sad performance as a guide.  Champ has skills like ignoring interesting smells and applying exactly the right amount of pressure to the harness that most pets don’t have and also most pets can’t learn.  Champ is not a pet, at least not while he’s in that harness; he’s a gainfully employed expert assistant.

It rounds Loren out as a character, and definitely does not just make her into a lesson or problem for Tobias.  Loren is gently humorous, tolerating her coworkers’ teasing and Ax’s attempted juvenile delinquency with an eye-roll.  She’s compassionate, listening to other people’s problems on the phone with genuine concern and not swatting flies if she doesn’t have to.  She’s tough-minded and stupidly brave, chucking rocks at Visser Three’s head and flying at attack helicopters as a three-pound bird.  She’s fallible, unable to support Tobias emotionally even when he asks her to do so and unwilling to check in on him after leaving him with her sister.  She’s a fully rounded person, one whose personality is informed but not defined by her disability.

It talks about some of the unromatic aspects of a Traumatic Brain Injury.  Too often in other works of fiction, we see a person get bonked over the head and wake up with no episodic memory but all other brain functions intact (*cough* Rachel in MM1 *cough*).  Loren actually gets into the fact that she forgot huge chunks of language, forgot how to brush her teeth, forgot how to walk across a room.  She obviously lost her sight as well, and she mentions lifelong balance and coordination problems.  Even her amnesia isn’t absolute — she has some traces of recall, but can’t make anything coherent of her impressions.  Her injury isn’t 100% realistic, but it’s more so than many TBIs we see in fiction.

It focuses on the intersection of disability and social class.  Tobias notes that Loren is under a compounded threat because of her inability to move to a more secure neighborhood and her obvious vulnerability.  He feels a lot of disgust with himself when he and Marco and Ax are harassing Loren, because it’s so clear that this isn’t the first time she’s been harassed.  Tobias understands that his experience with poverty as a nondisabled male minor is different from Loren’s for those reasons.

A few places where Loren falls into the common traps of implied ableism creeping into fiction, as written about in Narrative Prosthesis: 

She gets “cured.”  Loren falls into the “kill or cure” dichotomy, like most of the other disabled characters in Animorphs.  In her case, it’s that she gains the power to morph and in the process regains the ability to see.  It isn’t a complete cure, true — she still has no memory — but it means that she’s no longer blind for the rest of the series.  Having the occasional character no longer be disabled sometimes isn’t automatically problematic; having every disabled character get either “fixed” or killed off inherently treats the disabled body as a problem that needs to be solved, through sci fi nonsense if no other way is available.

She implies that she’d rather die than continue to be disabled.  When injured by dracon burns, Loren initially refuses to morph out even though Tobias tells her she’ll die if she remains a bird, because (they both assume) to morph out is to return to her blind human body.  This moment buys into the stereotype that it’s better to be dead than disabled, again inherently devaluing the lives of actual blind individuals.

There’s a certain amount of mystery around how she became disabled.  It’s interesting that we never actually get a definitive answer on that one — Loren says she was told it was a car crash, but there’s also an implication that she was attacked by controllers, and we don’t know for sure.  However, the fact of her disability is treated as an aberrant state that needs to be explained, the book inherently asking “why are you like this?”  By contrast (for instance) she doesn’t ask Tobias “why are you in the body of a hawk?”

She views herself as a burden, and the narration doesn’t do enough to contradict her.  Loren says that she couldn’t possibly be expected to raise a child while also blind and coping with a TBI.  Real blind people raise kids all the time, however, including blind single parents, and it’d be nice to see some evidence in the story that Loren’s assumption is wrong.  Loren also apparently assumes that she can’t begin to play a role in Tobias’s life even now that Tobias is more self-sufficient, again because she views herself as relatively helpless and non-contributing due to her disability.  There are some hints that she’s wrong, but we don’t really see her either begin to contribute to the resistance or build a relationship with Tobias until after she’s become un-blind.

Tobias’s view of Loren is often pitying.  As much as Loren doesn’t initially view herself as a potential maternal figure to Tobias, he doesn’t view her as a potential mentor either.  He repeatedly expresses horror or sadness at her life circumstances, and assumes that her life must be barren due to the spartan nature of her home.  (Of course, that begs the question of why the hell a blind woman living alone would ever bother hanging pictures on her walls or putting doilies on her coffee tables, but Tobias doesn’t consider that angle.)  Again, Tobias is allowed to assume that her life must be meaningless if she’s disabled, but it’d be nice to see some contradictory evidence in the form of her having close friends or inane hobbies or some other proof that to lead a disabled life is not to automatically lead a lonely one.

Loren expresses bitterness and desperate desire to be nondisabled.  Again, it’s fine for any character to say “I wish my life was different,” and it’s a common consensus among blind writers/bloggers that being blind is often a pain in the butt.  However, views as extreme as “you need vision to have a fulfilling existence” or “vision is part of what makes us human” are ableist crocks of shit.  Loren doesn’t go so far as to espouse those extreme views, but she also doesn’t seem to view herself as having a well-rounded life in spite of her disability.  It’d be nice to see Loren talking about sight as handy or enjoyable or a thing that the designers of 99% U.S. environments assume everyone must have, rather than a necessary precondition for a minimum standard of life.

Loren’s disability is somewhat medicalized.  Same caveat as above: disabilities are by definition medical things that some bodies do or have that other bodies do not.  However, discussing disability primarily through “this is how your body is different from Implied Normal of Nondisabled Body” and focusing on doctor’s notes, diagnoses, physical differences, etc. can serve to disconnect the lived experience of the individual from their body.  It also tends to focus on the ways that the body is “the problem” rather than focusing on the ways that environments and attitudes are problematic, which then prevents anyone from asking hard questions about the environments and attitudes.  Loren’s doctor’s note, discussion of scarring and loss, and repeated physical descriptions are somewhat more medical than social.  It’d be nice to see a little more emphasis on the social factors that make blindness a disability (e.g. improperly labeled milk), and less on “your eyes are different from those of Implied Normal Nondisabled Person.”

[mimzy-writing-online]

Mourning My Vision- It’s more than depression...

Writing a post at 2 am when I’m absolutely exhausted and starting to lose it? Yeah, okay. This blog isn’t called The Late Night Writing Advice blog for nothing.

Okay, it’s 2 am and there’s something I want to talk to you guys about.

So my blog is known (I think?) as that one writing advice blog run by the visually impaired/blind person who makes posts on how to write blind characters. Those are my most popular posts. But I don’t talk as much about my personal experiences with blindness. So, here’s some of that.

I talk about the mourning period some people go through when they suddenly have a new disability, mourning the life they had before the disability and all the things they could do before but can’t do now.

For a lot of people that mourning period is depression. But saying that depression is the only form of a mourning period is a disservice and it actually hurt me in the long run to believe that.

The mourning period can take many forms, and a lot of it depends on how you got the disability, where you are in your life currently, and what your mental state was like before the disability.

Some forms are: PTSD, Anxiety, physical health issues such as fatigue, insomnia, oversleeping, anger, denial, emotional suppression followed by outbursts or emotional breakdowns. That’s off the top of my sleep deprived mind at least.

My personal experience of the mourning period was developing (redeveloping?) an anxiety disorder.

This is going to get long, but please keep reading. It’s important.

I had (and still would have had even if I never went blind) at least some anxiety. I thought it was social anxiety, but I would say it was more generalized anxiety, it’s just that the social aspect was what I was most concerned with when I got my diagnosis at age fifteen.

Uh, mental health history? I’ve had lifelong insomnia and anxiety and have struggled off and on with depression. I also might have had some PTSD in the past, though it was never diagnosed. I also have ADHD but I didn’t know that or get diagnosed until this past year, 2019.

I started noticeably going blind at the age of 22. I’d always needed glasses, but I was never (in italics) blind. Glasses always corrected to 20/20 until I was 22. I would like to mention that I started showing symptoms of vision issues at the age of 20, and at the time they were of some concern but I didn’t realize how concerning they were until I turned 22.

At age 22 I started getting shuffled around doctors office after doctors office. I wanted a diagnosis and to know if I would lose more vision. My mom wanted to help fix me. I did not want to be fixed. I’m not sure exactly why, but I didn’t want to be fixed. I was fine with it. At least, I thought I was.

Truth be told, I needed a cane when I was 20/21. I’m day blind and it began putting me in danger when I was 20/21, and I would need a sighted guide (usually my best friend) during the day time.

A quick note on day blindness: In situations with bright lighting, mostly outside during the day, as the name suggests, I am at my most blind. My eyes just don’t know how to process light. They take in too much light. Don’t know why. But image it’s like a camera and if it takes in too much light and becomes over exposed, the photograph becomes distorted and almost white. Literally take a photo of outside and use a photo editing app to turn the exposure as high up as possible. That’s me. Try navigating in that. Also bright light causes me awful, intense, never ending pain. I have to wear sunglasses outside to minimize the pain. The darker the better, but even the darkest lenses don’t completely take away the pain.

Back on topic-

And at 22, with enough vision loss, I decided it was “okay” for me to get a cane. I’d needed it for two years, but I waited because medically and legally I couldn’t be considered visually impaired, let alone legally blind, even though I had a whole section of the day, literally half the day every day, where I could expect to be 50-90% completely blind with white vision the second I stepped outside.

Which is why I get so pissy at the idea of “legal blindness” and letting sighted people determine what is blind and not blind and who gets aide and who doesn’t.

I wanted to get a cane. My mom said no. I was giving into my blindness too early. We could still get a doctor to solve all my problems. There had to be some surgery (which terrified me) to make me see normally again. But I didn’t think a doctor could cure what was wrong with me, and I was still terrified to go anywhere alone.

School was some kind of hell that year.

Seven months after doctors noticed I couldn’t see 20/20 with correction anymore, when I was starting to see 20/50 with best correction, I had an accident.

I was walking through a parking lot at two in the afternoon. It was October. It was bright out because I live in Southern California. I was following a friend. My whole method of travel was to walk one step behind and one step to the left or right of whoever I was with and stare at the ground hoping I could see their shoes and to listen for anything important. Not safe. Very bad.

And the world went blank.

I couldn’t see a thing.

I knew where I was. There was a building in front of me and I knew that as soon as I was in it’s shadow I would see more.

But the curb came before the shadow and I tripped. 

I fell without seeing where I was falling.

It was terrifying.

I was fine. Ish. Fine-ish. My knees were both bloody and swollen for a week. I had scars from that for eight months. My palms were scraped to hell. I was limping. Nobody saw the blood because I was wearing pants and I still started bleeding at my knees.

I went home less than an hour later. Saw my bloody knees and marched to my mom and demanded I get a cane.

She had already just had a panic attack. I didn’t know that. I don’t know what caused it, but it was good timing because for once she didn’t fight it. I ordered my cane. And two weeks after I ordered it, it finally came. And that first day I noticed that having it made me feel safer. I knew that (finally) I wasn’t completely helpless, at the mercy of whoever was with me and whatever circumstances I was in. I had a bit of safety to help me find all the things I couldn’t see but could get hurt on. Like curbs.

It’s been two years, to the day I think, since I got it. I had just gotten it before Halloween and was still getting used to it and how differently people treated me on Halloween night. Halloween in 2017, and now it’s the 28th of October in 2019 as I’m writing this.

So, what happened to me was I was waiting for the mourning period to be a period of depression.

But instead it was anxiety, and possibly PTSD.

Leaving my house was terrifying. Any time I was out in public I was hyper vigilant of everything happening around me, especially if I couldn’t see it. Loud and sudden sounds made me jump. I would tense up. I couldn’t think. Sometimes headphones was my only way to calm down.

That was my mourning period. But I didn’t understand that until a few months ago when I was writing a chapter from Ulric’s perspective (Ulric is my blind character in A Witch’s Memory, a novel I’m currently editing). In the chapter I was writing about the mourning period and how he experienced it. Depression would be very in character for him. And he already has PTSD and anxiety too.

But then I realized my anxiety disorder (generalized anxiety disorder) was my mourning period.

Actually, a lot of my experience with vision loss snuck into that story. Including Ulric fighting to get his parents to accept that he was blind and that he didn’t want to be cured because the cure had its own cost. And his fight to get his cane and orientation and mobility training.

That was my mourning period. I wish at the time I knew depression wasn’t the only sign of it. It might have led to me getting therapy or treatment earlier. But it’s too late to change that.

Maybe reading this will help someone else.

It’s getting late. I’m going to reread this and check for spelling errors, and then I’m going to post it before I chicken out. Goodnight.

[crzytwn]

Becleo

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Leo, he’s a loud boy

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

UHh I feel like Becca but not in like  “fuck you, I’m leaving” way? More like “fuck me i should remove myself!”??

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Neither of them. V v attached at the asshole.

Who trashes the house?

Neither.

Do either of them get physical?

god no.

How often do they argue/disagree?

All the time but like RARELY for real.

Who is the first to apologise?

Depends on the argument really but neither of them are like stingy with the sorries.

Sex:

Who is on top?

They both have off and on bottom energy so I’m gonna say switchies.

Who is on the bottom?

See above

Who has the strangest desires?

Becca, she reads more and she’s a lil freak

Any kinks?

I’m almost certain but I’m not gonna think about it.

Who’s dominant in bed?

Becca’s p bossy so

Is head ever in the equation?

Head is ALWAYS in the equation. 

If so, who is better at performing it?

Leo is nothing if not a feminist, also I just feel like he would not be that great with his stroke game in the beginning and like would end up with more practice.

Ever had sex in public?

For sure

Who moans the most?

Uhhh Becca???

Who leaves the most marks?

???

Who screams the loudest?

Fuck if I know

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Unless it’s the “Becca Fucks Zac” au of our Becleo au, then idk I’m assuming they’d only bone each other?

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

Both!

Rough or soft?

Both but I feel like Leo stans soft

How long do they usually last?

Awhile!

Is protection used?

Idk how magic sex ed works and I do not intend to think on it!

Does it ever get boring?

No 😌

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

I feel like I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Leo REALLY wants to fuck on a quidditch pitch or at least under the bleachers.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

ya 

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

One or two??

Who is the favorite parent?

Becca, Leo’s cool but unless the band blows up he’s probably away a lot with Quidditch

Who is the authoritative parent?

Becca, I feel like with Alicia Leo never learned how to be one nor does he like want to be nor CAN he be, he always wants to be everyone’s friend first.

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

LEO

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

I feel like there’s no need for like “when the other isn’t around”

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

Both but Becca is the best about it

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

Becca, Leo is the type to not be allowed back

Who changes the diapers?

Magic

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

Magic or Becca

Who spends the most time with the children?

Becca

Who packs their lunch boxes?

Leo, can Becca even cook??

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

Leo’s idea for doing it is somehow too blunt and too vague and Becca’s is so technical and weird, so they end up doing it together and everyone is EMBARASSED.

Who cleans up after the kids?

Magic or Becca, Leo’s lazy

Who worries the most?

BECCA

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Aunt Kelsey

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? 

Both!

Who is the little spoon?

Becca!

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Leo? Maybe?

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

???????????????????

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Forever and ever and ever

Who gives the most kisses?

As if they could keep track. I’m sure it’s an argument.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

The OG hang out activity, cuddling and book chatting and occasionally Leo being drooled on

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? 

?? idk man literally I have no idea where the cuddling goes on nor have I EVER

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?

Becca, feels on brand.

How often do they get time to themselves?

For the amount of friends they’re attached at the hip to, finding sizable alone time for the book chats has never been a problem for them 

Sleeping:

Who snores? If both do, who snores the loudest?

I just feel like Becca does.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Seperately at first ofc, but even in school I feel like they would’ve managed to find a lot of excuses to share.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

COZY AS TIGHT AS POSSIBLE.

Who talks in their sleep?

Uh Leo, he’s more anxious than he lets on so it probably gets pushed out somewhere

What do they wear to bed?

🤐

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

No?

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

I dunno, they magic

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

COBRA 

Who wakes up with bed hair?

They both do but Leo refuses to be seen with his

Who wakes up first?

Leo, so Becca won’t see the bed head.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Leo, I sure do not remember Becca being able to cook

What is their favourite sleeping position?

Idk in theory it’s probably being all wrapped up but I’m sure Leo likes blood flow to his arms

Who hogs the sheets?

Idk

Do they set an alarm each night?

Leo probably does for his narcissistic purposes, also sports ppl probably have to wake up early

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

ya, movie nights

Who has nightmares?

Becca???

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Leo, he IS ridiculous

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Becca?

Who makes the bed?

Becca but also idk magic

What time is bed time?

When they go to bed idfk

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Probably, they do so much together nighttime is probably a well oiled machine.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Becca probably because she stayed up most of the night reading

Home:

Who does the washing?

Magic

Who takes out the trash?

Magic

Who does the ironing?

Magic

Who does the cooking?

Leo

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

?? Becca? Because books?

Who is messier?

Leo because he’s lazy but he’s not even that messy because he thinks it makes him look bad.

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

Leo

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Neither of them

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

NEITHER OF THEM! 

Who is the prankster around the house?

Leo, but Becca gets in her little moods.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Neither they have magic.

Who mows the lawn?

Magic

Who answers the telephone?

Becca but only because Leo would be too busy standing there going “WHO CALLS PEOPLE?”

Who does the vacuuming?

Magic

Who does the groceries?

Whoever can

Who takes the longest to shower?

Leo

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Leo. He’s manages to cut down his primping time in the bathroom by micro primping whenever he’s near a reflective surface. besides 

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

No, they both seemed fairly well off and probably got really good jobs so def not.

How many cars do they own?

None

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Own

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

Are they city people? I think they’re city people but if Becca wanted to live out her Pemberley fantasies in the countryside, Leo would be more than willing to go.

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

For sure

What’s their song?

I don’t know! I’m sure we’ve given them many but today it is I hear a symphony by Cody Fry

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Text or owl each other

Where did they first meet?

The halls of Hogwarts

How did they first meet?

u already know, u wrote it

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Leo, he has a problem because MOST of it will be for Lit

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Neither, that’s not really who either of them are? They both HAVE a lot and it’s like probably obvious but they’re not the FLASHING type

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Leo, but it’s like so endearing when Becca falls

Any mental issues?

Probably, but I’m not diagnosing today

Who’s terrified of bugs? Who kills the spiders around the house?

Becca is scared, Idk how Leo deals with bugs tho, bug guts are def too much for him to handle.

Their favourite place?

Who KNOWS

Who pays the bills? 

Autopay or magic

Do they have any fears for their future?

Becca is BIG afraid of divorce

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Both, they really are Grand Gestures: The 

Relationship

Who uses up all of the hot water?  

Leo but they have magic so it’s fine. Plus they’d share a lot anyway

Who’s the tallest?

Leo

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Becca because Leo just takes so damn long but also Leo because horny

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Feels on brand for both idk

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

It’s a duet!

What do they tease each other about?

Any and everything!

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Neither, they’re both so goddamn preppy. I think Leo would cringe if Becca wore any Darcy merch in his presence but dassit.

Do they have mutual friends? Who crushed first? Any alcohol or substance related problems?  

The friend group is really the Becleo mutual friends circle when you think about it.

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

Leo because I assume people are like that.

Who swears the most?

Uhhh Leo? But not that much because he doesn’t strike me as the type to swear around ladies if he can avoid it, he really loves old school chivalry 

[linkspooky]

Hey, I’ve been reading a lot of your BNHA metas, (they’re all absolutely awesome btw) and I was wondering about two things, what kind of mental illness do you think Shigaraki has? And I read a post somewhere that speculated that he might have suffered a tbi when his father hit him with the tree sheers, do you think that might be true?

Hello anon, thank you for your ask! 

I will try to answer your questions the best I can, however beforehand I think it’s important to note that I don’t really like diagnosing characters outside of like specific examples where the authors tell us this is the disease they were attempting to portray, or headcanons. Shigaraki clearly shows signs of mental illness, but I don’t think Horikoshi writes characters by looking up a list of symptoms in the DSM and then writing them based on that. 

Also yes, the two clearest examples of mental Illness (Shigaraki, Twice) are both villains but I have faith that the mental illness of Shigaraki is an instance where it’s used to humanize him and show how much of a victim of a system both characters are, rather than just to give the villain traits that are abnormal and therefore creepy and dangerous. 

I can’t give you a specific dianogisis but I can give you a more in depth look at several symptoms that Shigaraki displays. 

Excoriation 

Excoriation disorder is an obsessive-compulsive spectrum mental disorder that is characterized by the repeated urge or impulse to pick at one’s own skin to the extent that either psychological or physical damage is caused. In Shigaraki’s case it’s clearly a stress response that is aggravated the more violent, unstable or dangerous a situation he is put into. 

Which is why I find claims that Shigaraki is content with violence, or likes being a killer and is comfortable living this way to be false. Because Shigaraki’s own body constantly rejects him. He feels a compuslive need to scratch and harm himself because his body cannot handle the stress of being violent. It’s a stress response because Shigaraki does not actually on some level want to be doing these things, and living in a constant state of stress and harm makes him more compelled to vent his stress by following his compulsions. 

The compulsion he feels can sometimes get so bad that in childhood he was rolling around the floor, crying and frantically scratching his whole body. This is not what All for One said and him holding back his urge to kill, but rather Shigaraki responding to the stress. Shigaraki is seven and was put in front of two homeless people who were threatening to harm him and he already came from a physically abusive household. He’s in unbelievable stress with no healthy way of venting it, and thereofre he compulsively self harms. 

GAME TALK

In general Shigaraki uses a lot of game talk. This is not so much a symptom of mental illness necessarily as it is a coping mechanism, but the goal is for Shigaraki to distance himself from reality. Basically it’s a mechanism for rgaining control because if you imagine life as just one big game where you are the player, you feel much more in control then some random kid who lost his family in a freak accident then got picked up by a super villain. Gamespeak is also a way of being deeply impersonal with the situation, in case it goes bad Shigaraki can say it’s just game over. It’s a layer of distance between him and reality, like I said, escapism to cope. His insistence of using game terminology for everything could also be seen as a “special interest” but once again that depends on your intepretation Shigaraki shows a whole cluster of symptoms that overlap with a lot of things. 

HIGH ATTENTION TO DETAIL

Shigaraki in a fight where he and AIzawa are jumping around trying to kill each other, Shigaraki is able to notice a detail as minute as when the hair falls over Aizawa’s eyes it stops, and also that his quirk was weakening because the tiny seconds long windows were getting shorter and shorter. 

This is an extremely small detail to notice. Hyper-sensitizing, or hyper-attention to detail is another sign of mental illness, because usually the brain filters out superfluous details like this because otherwise noticing everything in that fine detail would overwhelm the senses. 

Immaturity 

Shigaraki is completely unable to handle his negative emotions like a well-rounded adult. Though, I dislike how All Might and the others phrase it in this discussion because it is a pretty ablist description (downright sick in the head, a toddler’s sense of feeling like he can do whatever he wants). (the ablist part is that they’re using symptoms of his clear mental illness to dehumanize him.)

Regardless, Shigaraki of course does act like a man child, constantly talking about games, giving up easily, not having the patience to converse with others especially in situations he does not want to be in, throwing tantrums. 

Children who are abused and neglected especially to the extreme extent that Shigaraki has, show long term developmental (that is term for the process of growing into a full adult) and behavioral problems. To the point where some studies have shown even the brain’s chemistry is permanently effected and the brain grows differently. 

Children need a stable environment, and also positive role models for what adults act like to grow into full fledged adults, Shigaraki had neither of those. In fact he was also raised almost entirely outside of society except for the first five years of his life, so there is also no outside influence on his upbringing as well, which is why he is like a child, egocentric, unable to handle his emotions, because mentally he was never given the chance to develop past one. 

ISOLATION

This is something that Shigaraki showed at the start of the series, but also has shown to develop past. At first he never left his room and from the several trash bags it’s quite obvious he spent long periods of time in there without taking care of himself or the environment around him in any significant way. 

Shigaraki is no longer isolating as a result of having gotten closer to the league, he is basically available to them at all times and does not shut them off in any significant way. Which in this quick tangent we can also talk about symptoms Shigaraki does not have. Shigaraki is able to read a room pretty clearly, and knows how to hide himself in a crowd enough to keep Deku hostage with no trouble at all, and even leave the scene with Uraraka there without provoking her into attacking him or tipping her off what he was doing right away. Shigaraki is fairly competent at reading other people and he does have social skills so he’s not like someone who never sees the light of day or cannot interact with others and is clueless on how people think. 

He’s also shown to be capable of making emotional connections with other people, and also of being considerate to those people’s needs. Which also shows that Shigaraki is capable of communication and also has an awareness of the feelings of other people and the ability to empathize, he is just choosy about who he makes connections with. He is definitely not someone unable to form an emotional connection with another person. 

Shigaraki also shows a pretty flagrant disregard for all social norms, but that can be a result of being raised outside of society all of his life.

Shigaraki also likes to piss people off on purpose, almost like he is testing their boundaries and what he can get away with the same way a child playing around might.

Dissociation

We have seen Shigaraki experience Dissociation in both senses of the word. First we have seen him physically detach himself from his feelings, and his own body in the middle of a fight and still continue on in a fugue-like state. 

He experiences dissociation in the sense of the word meaning periods of detachment to your body, drifting away from your consciousness, severe feelings of alienation from himself, extreme difficulty concentrating or holding focus to the moment, his perception of both time and the area around him slipping to levels that are borderline hallucinogenic. 

Dissociation is a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity.

Shigaraki also displays traits of what is more classicly known as Dissasociative identity disord. He has two names, and clearly considers the life of Shimura Tenko to be separate from Shigaraki Tomura for a long time at the start of the manga. It might not be full on DID, but he at least dissociated his memories away from himself long enough that he forgot all of them like those memories belonged to another person, not Shigaraki but rather Tenko. 

Shigaraki also foils Twice pretty heavily who developed actual dissociatve identity disord. He even shares similiar symptoms of speaking to himself when he speaks to the hand of “father”. I am not saying he has full on DID like I said I’m not diagnoising just that he displays several symptoms of it. He also came from an abusive household at an incredibly young age, which is where DID most commonly manifests. 

Shigaraki also shows signs of flashbacks when his memories return at inconvenient times during fights when direclty exposed to violence, or he experiences a trigger reminding him of his past. Flashbacks are a symptom that have the most in common with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

To answer your question on whether Shigaraki has a brain injury from when his father hit him with shears, there is evnidence suggesting he could have suffered brain damage, especially in the symptoms that he shares with Twice. However, at the same time Shigaraki also would have developed brain damage either way. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is something that permanently rewires the brain after exposure to trauma. His brain has suffered a traumatic injury regardless of whether or not it was the garden sheers that did him in. 

Suicidal Ideation / Self Harm

Shigaraki in general wishes to not exist, or to destroy everything so it will not exist anymore. Even if it’s not a direct wish for suicide that symptom is called suicidal ideation. It’s intrusive and persistent thoughts of suicide. The likely cause is once again, Shigaraki is absolutely not comfortable living like this, and is constantly overwhelmed with stress and pain and is seeking an escape. 

Shigaraki also actively seeks out harm. The same way he obsessively compulsively scratches, he puts himself into harmful situations like the extremely painful hellish surgery the doctor said he did not even have to endure if he did not want to. He feels compelled to harm himself, even when he is not fighting against someone else. He inflicts harm on himself becauseit is once again an unhealthy way to process his emotions. Oncce again all of these symptoms are there not to make Shigaraki out to be terrifying and incomprehensible because he is mentally ill, but rather to show he is a human being caught within the cycle of abuse with extremely unhealthy methods of coping with that fact.