#that he couldnt make it any better or any worse. and now i think

[2024skin]

August 14

PSA about dick-poisoning: it's real 😔 stay safe sisters

[yeonjisstuff]

Husband!Nanami who worked just for you, who dedicated every hour of work and every penny he earned to you and your relationship. He had a lot of plans for the both of you in the future, and he desperately wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, hell, maybe even start a family with you once his savings hit the milestone.

But work could be so. fucking. draining.

He would often come home, too exhausted to even shower or take off his clothes, slumping on the sofa as soon as he stepped foot into the living room.

And today could honestly not get any worse for Nanami. Not only was he forced to stay an hour overtime, but he was forced to work on a project that he had little to no interest in. On top of that, nobody from his work group were cooperating, and his boss wasn't answering his emails about it. He swore he'd open his own fucking business one day so he wouldn't have to deal with shit like this.

|Kento❤️: Honey, i'm sorry, but i think i'll be late tonight. You can eat dinner without me.

|You: Alright, Kento. Don't push yourself too hard. I love you.

|Kento❤️: I'll try. I love you too.

But even if he worked too hard from time to time, you were so understanding.

You never complained, not even the slightest, and you never asked him anything. Nothing but his love, and that was, without a doubt, one of the many reasons why he loved you so much.

He came home expecting that you were asleep, that the house was dark, considering the fact that it was 11 pm, but instead, he was welcomed by the smell of lovely food, and a warm, dim, light illuminating the house. Out of pure curiosity, he peeked his head into the kitchen, the smell of garlic filling the room. Nanami loved garlic fried food.

He watched as you assembled a plate, merely one big portion of chicken-garlic alfredo pasta, along with some crispy garlic bread, taking the plate as you headed for the dining room.

You jumped a bit when you saw Nanami, but the slight shock on your expression was replaced by a soft smile, before you spoke in a calm tone.

"Oh, Kento! You're just on time. I made you dinner!"

You cheered as you walked to the dining table, placing the plate and some utensils on the wooden surface, even filling a glass of ice cold water up for him.

Nanami hadn't felt such relief, love, and gratitude in ages. Ofcourse he felt those things with you often, but this specific day... this was just what he needed, and he couldnt be more grateful.

Or maybe, he could.

He could definitely be more grateful, which was maybe why he was now laying on his stomach, big arms wrapped around your thighs as his tongue practically made love to your pussy.

He was moaning against your core like a starved man, almost as if your slick could make him more satisfied and full than the delicious pasta and bread he had just gulped down

"K-Kento..! P-please, mngh... right there!"

You cried out, feeling his tongue pressing flat against your clit, his pace only increasing the more you pleaded. You were practically in heaven at this point, and just as you thought it couldn't get better, you gushed around his tongue, letting out the most sinful sounds as you tugged at his hair, feeling him lightly kissing your pussy to soothe your orgasm.

Your breath hitched as you felt him crawl up to you, his body hovering over you as he looked at you. He nuzzled his face into the crook of you neck, his breath sending tingles down your spine as he whispered

"Just one more... Please, baby? 'wanna feel you cum around my cock.."

a/n: i deadass cant get myself to write my upcoming fic.. I'M TRYING I SWEAR😭😭😭

Divider credits on my pinned!!!

[hearts4violett]

dead man

tw: r4pe (not done by/to fez or ash), abusive bf, murder, and the rest is just sweet

(i was r4ped 3 days ago so this is kinda my way of coping, also this is my first time writing on here so im sorry if it sucks lol)

why did this have to happen to me? thats all that you could think as you stumbled your way to the house you always go to in times like these, fezcos house. this time was different. usually you would go there after you and your boyfriend had an argument which would result in him hitting you. fez and ash had always told you to leave the guy. they hated him more than anything in this world. you had feelings for fez and he had feelings for you, but your boyfriend was in issue. ash had seen you as a mother. he loved you to death and would do anything for you, both of them would.

this time though was worse than you couldve imagined. your boyfriend came home drunk as he usually does and was in the mood. you said no and he didnt like that, he took it as a challenge. he had forced himself in you and left you when he was finished. hes probably out drinking again. you finally make your way to fezcos house and knock on the door softly, having no energy from walking and what your boyfriend had done to you. Ash opens the door and sees you, blood running down your legs, mascara and tears smeared down your face, and your hair going every which way. ashs face drops and its then that you see fezco come from out of his room.

they took you in instantly. fez sat you on the couch as ash went and got a blanket. "Did he do this to you?" Fez wasnt stupid, he knew what he had done and so do ash even though you hadnt told them. As i stare off blankly, i slowly nod, the words not coming out. Ash wrapped a blanket around my shoulders and walked to the other room. I knew what he was going to do.

Ash walked back in and tossed a gun into fezcos lap, ash having one of his own. "Lets go fucking kill him." I turn to look at ash and then to fezco who was shaking with rage. How could someone do this to someone like you? you were kind and gentle and you didnt deserve any of this. Fez turned to you "You want me to kill him for you? I'll do it, ill kill that motherfucker, just say the word." He said as he reached out and held my hand. Again, all i could do was nod. He was a dead man.

Me nodding my head was all fez and ash needed before getting up and walking to the door. Fez looked back at me and mouthed the words I love you before leaving. i sighed, as if i knew the one thing in my life that made me want to die, was going to be gone soon. I got up and made my way to the bathroom to shower. I could feel his hands still lingering on me and i couldnt stand how dirty i felt.

While stripping off my clothes, i noticed the marks he had left on me. He had left hand prints on my neck and bruises littered my body. I wanted to cry at the sight of them, but at this moment, i couldnt. my body couldnt produce a single tear. I wish it would though.

After getting out, i felt better in a way. less dirty. i went to fezcos room and stole a tshirt and some boxers. Fez always told me i was more than welcome to wear his clothes when i stayed here. As i had finished putting on my clothes and brushing my hair and teeth, i heard the door open. I peeked out and there stood ash and fez, covered in blood. He was finally gone.

Now my tears started to work. I let out a small sob and ran over to them, hugging them tightly. "Thank you" i whispered out. They hugged me tightly, as if i would disappear if they let me go. Fez rubbed circles on my back and caressed my hair. Ash had walked away to clean up. "Hes gone, baby, its ok" fez says quietly. I was finally free.

I took my head away from the side of his neck to look at him, i wanted nothing more than to be with fez forever. I finally could and i knew he would take care of me and do anything for me.

[overlyspecific]

Part 8 of Merlin Hood AU

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

The room is dark, lit only by a sliver of sun peaking through a hole in the wall when Merlin comes too. A breeze through the dark dank cave causes Merlin to shutter. His wrists ache from being chained in cold iron above his head and the sound of water dripping echoing through the chamber pulls a sorrowful longing sound from Merlin’s scratchy throat.

Merlin: *whispering to himself* Well this couldnt get any worse…

Merlin looks quickly around him for the witchfinder to approach. From Merlin’s experience they usually can’t resist the urge to say something witty like ‘Oh, but it can’ or ‘I was hoping you would say that.’ If Gwaine was there they’d probably bet on which one it would be. Man, he missed Gwaine and Lancelot and Gwen and Arthur. Wait, Arthur! He was in the woods and he was looking for Merlin! Merlin smiled to himself sadly, it was nice to have people who cared about him…even if one of them was a clotpole.

The Witchfinder (Aredian): Oh my boy, there’s nothing to smile about.

Merlin: *sighing* I liked my options better. Why are we even here? Don’t you just want to deliver me to the king and get paid?

Aredian: But wheres the fun in that? Besides the king has some questions for you that he knows I can get answers for.

Merlin: If its about how I manage to look this good when I’ve been living in a forest for years, the answer manages to escape me too.

A bucket of cold water is thrown at Merlin, irritating his wounds. Merlin typically doesnt like the idea of killing anyone, but for Aredian he could make an exception. A small bit of magic sparks itself in Merlin’s abdomen, comforting him before diminishing once again. Merlin groans it frustration.

Aredian: What? No more quips? Did I get the fearsome Merlin to finally shut his trap?

Merlin: *gritting through his teeth* Not likely.

Aredian throws his head back in a laugh and Merlin watches as he brandishes a dagger.

Aredian: Good. The fun is just beginning.

Meanwhile, Lancelot, Gwen and Gwaine are thinking of plans to rescue Merlin at the hideout.

Gwaine: All I’m saying is if you have enough chickens-

Lancelot and Gwen: *monotone because they have heard Gwaine pitch this four times now* -they make for a good diversion.

Gwaine pouts a bit.

Lancelot: Gwaine, we don’t even know where they took him. Merlin has made it pretty clear that he can break out of almost every dungeon and cell they keep him in so I doubt they’ve taken him to the castle.

Gwen: Plus, if he was at the castle, the king would be showing him off to everyone as an example and we haven’t heard anything like that yet.

Lancelot: Gwen, why don’t I escourt you back to the castle so you can try to gather more information. Gwaine can scavenge the woods for anywhere they might be keeping Merlin.

Gwen takes off in the direction of the castle leaving Lancelot with Gwaine for a moment.

Lancelot: We’ve been through these woods a thousand times, there’s only a few places that he could be hidden.

Gwaine: Right. I’ll scavenge the areas and you can send word if Gwen hears anything.

Lancelot: Be careful, Gwaine.

Gwaine: *smirking* When am I not?

Gwaine takes off in the other direction and Lancelot sighs. He really needs more friends that don’t attract trouble like it’s their job. But they are all he’s got and he’ll do anything for them. After a moment, Lancelot takes off after Gwen.

In another area of the forest, Arthur wakes up to in a bed of flowers. The sun is shining high above his head and his chainmail is laid out against the grass next to him, leaving him in his tunic and breeches. Birds are chirping near by and Arthur rubs at his eyes. He feels at peace, but something is wrong. He was supposed to do something or be somewhere. He knows it.

Rustling in a bush catches Arthur’s attention and he gets up quickly to draw his sword. A hooded figure approaches Arthur and raises out their hand.

Hooded figure: Arthur Pendragon.

Arthur: Who are you? Where is this place?

Hooded figure: I have many names but for our purposes you can call me Pirerymus.

Arthur: Pyramus? Like the tragic love story?

Pirerymus: *softly chuckles* No, but it this case it might work just as well. As for your where you are, I’m surprised you don’t recognize this place. It means a lot for your future and your destiny. Tell me, what does it feel like to you.

Arthur: Peaceful, warm, protecting. It feels sort of like it’s watching over me, like if I fell asleep again right here I would safe.

Pirerymus: and when have you felt that before?

Arthur thinks back and has a hard time placing it. He feels safe at Camelot but he’s always a little on edge waiting for the next person to try to kill him or for his father’s disapproving words. The only time he has really felt at ease is when he is with…

Arthur: Merlin.

Pirerymus: He’s your protector and your destiny, but the same applies to you. You must protect him as well.

Arthur: How am I supposed to protect the most powerful sorceror ever? What can I do that he can’t?

Pirerymus: He may be very powerful but he is not a warrior. Not like you.

Arthur: Well, I don’t know how much good that’s going to do now. I don’t even know where he is and I still don’t know where I am or how it connects to our destiny.

Pirerymus: Oh, but you do. He told you exactly where he was.

Arthur: The light.

Pirerymus: Yes. You need to learn how to understand what he is telling you, otherwise you two will never unite the land and bring about the golden age of Albion.

Arthur: I don’t have time for this. He’s in trouble.

Pirerymus: Emrys’s own well-being is not my main concern. You will find in time that he can handle a lot. However, if he loses control the safety of everyone and everything around him is at risk.

Arthur: Merlin would never hurt anyone.

Pirerymus: That may be the case, but if any outside forces got control of even a sliver of his true power they could do a great deal of damage.

Arthur: So, I’m supposed to keep people from stealing his magic?

Pirerymus: You are to protect him when he cannot protect himself just as he does for you. But you will need to work together this to work. Emrys has already opened up to you. Now, you must do the same. Follow me.

Pirerymus leads Arthur through the wildflowers until they get to a small lake and they stop at the water’s edge.

Pirerymus: Tell me, Arthur, what do you feel now?

Arthur: *pauses for a moment to take in his surroundings* There’s something in there. Something calling to me.

Pirerymus: Yes, I would guess so. After all, it was made for you.

Arthur looks back to the field of flowers. Most wildflowers have a cacophony of colors, but Arthur only sees here a very harmonious blue and golden yellow. Arthur closes his eyes for a minute and the calling from the lake grows. He wades into the lake.

[sasagehoes]

MOONAGE DAYDREAM

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐕;; 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ 𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐟𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐜! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⭒˚☽ ✴︎˚｡⋆;; More friends and a lot more misteries, life is just getting better but will that last? After all we have only just begun

1976-1981

masterlist | series masterlist | Ao3 link

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a/n: This takes place on the events before, during and after the wizarding war, this series is part of a series, which will tackle more of the events in the golden trio era, the reader is hispanic but i couldnt care less if you're not, this is for everyone! [translations will be given]. English is not my first language, so i apologise for any grammar mistakes. I hope you enjoy!

wc: 6.6k

CW: foul language /Walburga slight xenophobia/suggestive jokes/suggestive scenarios

The sun was setting behind Godric's Hollow as you all apparated back to the Potter’s residence, as soon as you all landed on the living room, Remus started talking about how ‘groovy’ his parents were, especially his mum. How she's such a great cook, always has her garden in order, and how well she is with animals. “She’d love you” he said looking back to throw you a smile whilst he packed his last bags, containing his newly bought school supplies, “I tend to have that effect on mom’s” you say with a matching expression. Effie’s laughter was heard from the kitchen.

Everything now officially packed and in order, you and the marauders stared at the Floo entrance waiting for the Lupin’s, “Are they getting here soon, Moony?” Sirius asked, clearly anxious to see the two, Remus sighed “You guys seem in such a hurry for me to get up and go” Sirius smirked at his friend “what made you think of that àillean?” {darling}.

James just laughed as Remus, who was rather flushed, grabbed the nearest candlestick ready to throw it at Sirius when suddenly the floo entrance was heard and an instant “Remus John Lupin put that down” Hope said sternly, a smile betraying her words. He rushed to where his parents stood and hugged them as if he hadn't seen them less than three days ago.

Monty hurried to the living room to greet them and Effie was soon to follow, “Lyall, Hope! So happy to see you two” Monty said with a big smile, going to hug both of them “I hope John didn't cause you any trouble” he said in a jokingly manner, looking at Remus sideways

“ Oh please, Lyall, you know that kid is a saint!” Effie said, giggling while squishing Remu’s cheek, making him fluster. “I believe this is yours love” Hope said, handing the candle stick to Euphemia.

“Would you guys like to eat before you see yourselves out?” Monty asked the Lupin’s to which Lyall had to refuse saying something along the lines of them having already eaten and had food ready for Remus at home. Not that you were paying too much attention to the conversation, too distracted thanks to Hope’s voice.

“And who might this be?” Hope asked with a bright smile, her eyes moving to meet yours. “Oh! she is our goddaughter, she’ll be attending Hogwarts starting this semester” Effie replied

“I see!, well nice to meet you young lass, im Hope, and this is my husband Lyall” she said pointing to her husband “‘Ello” he replied plainly, but in a pleasant way

You introduced yourself while offering a handshake to both of them, not really used to so much human interaction in less than 72 hours. “Well!” Hope clasped her hands “I think it's time to go home, don't you think sweetie, go get your stuff. Your poor dad’s back can't with all that”

“My back is just fine” he grumbled, making Remus and James give him a look, which he just smiled at. “Again thank you again for everything you two, see you at the station boys, do take care” she said, entering the floo “Oh and you too dear! See ya soon” And just like that, they were gone

You turned to look at James and Sirius, “They seem so nice!” Sirius couldn't agree more. They were both so calm and understanding, even in the worse scenarios

You turned to look at Sirius, expecting him to say something along the lines about going to pack his bags so you opted to talk instead. “Sirius?” you asked. He only hummed

“Are your parents picking you up now, or will you meet them at the train station tomorrow?” His smile dropped, and Jame’s smile turned sour. “Neither” he replied with a mix of sadness and rage, “Oh,then when will you see them?” You asked once more, not noticing James body language, telling you to stop. “Well kids! I think it’s time to go to bed now, tomorrow is a very exciting day for a certain someone” Euphemia said looking at you before she continued “So you two go to bed,and you dear i'm gonna give you some great advice for your days in Hogwarts”

Sirius stood up and walked out of the living room, Euphemia laid a soothing hand on his shoulder and said something in his ears. James looked at you with an expression that you couldn't really name. You tried to say goodnight, but it fell on deaf ears as they both went up the stairs. Effie went up to you and pointed at the sofa, offering you to sit down once more. “Dear, I know it was not your intention, but try to refrain from talking about his family in front of him, we are his family now, alright?” You nodded “I guess I should've been more mindful, I'll apologize in the morning”.

She smiled tenderly, “Don't beat yourself over it too much, go to bed and sleep well, tomorrow might be a little overwhelming for you” Kissing the top of your head she bid you goodnight, and you left for your room.

Euphemia waited for you to go up the stairs and for the door to close, and stood up from the couch so fast her knees popped. She walked to the back garden, where she saw her husband with his head back, staring languidly at the stars on the wooden bench. She sat next to him and held his hand in hers, snapping him out of his trance

“Mi vida, I'm sorry my mind is not where it should be” he said, looking at her with tear brimmed eyes.

She squished his hand firmly “Is it about Ronan?” The question was barely above a whisper, just saying his name made them realize that life is fleeting.

He only nodded. Even if it's once a month, Ronan always crossed their minds, and now more than ever, a constant reminder of his existence re entered their lives. He took off his glasses, trying to disguise his tears, and Euphemia could only tear up at the sight. Fleamont was sensitive and kindhearted, one of the many reasons why she fell in love with him, but seeing his walls crack and fall to the ground made her feel helpless.

“I think we should t-” she spoke not long before Fleamont interrupted Her. “Carmen would kill us if she could, you know that my love” it was now his turn to squeeze her hand, running his thumb in a reassuring manner.

“I know, but she'll find out soon. What do we do then” she looked him in the eyes, trying to find solace behind them. “When she does, we'll be there for her, but it's not our call to make, the one that did is no longer with us”. To no avail.

Morning came, and most of your suitcases were locked and loaded next to the entrance. No one was awake just yet, but you. You had pancakes on the stove, and some berries picked and cut on a yellow bowl next to the jug of orange juice on the counter. Following a simple recipe that you once saw on the television, you battered up some whipped cream. Before you heard the door of the rooms open, the table was served.

Effie walked down the stairs with a smile on her face as she saw you cleaning up the kitchen. “Now this is a lovely surprise” her face was beaming, looking at the pancakes with sugary white powder on top and berries adoring the sides. She went to sit on the chair that had an extra pancake on the plate, but before she could grab a fork, you intervened.

“Sorry Effie, that one's for Sirius.. you know as an apology of sorts” Your eyes were trained on the floor, embarrassment in your features. She just smiled at you and sat in another chair.

Like mother, like daughter, she thought.

“Don't you worry dear, these look scrumptious!”

She had almost finished when suddenly James came running down the stairs before halting at the middle, “Blimey!” With that, he ran back to his room and came back with his glasses on. Behind him was a groggy Sirius with a serious case of bedhead.

James went up to kiss his mom's cheek and sat down next to her, Sirius sat next him and smiled when Monty, who had come down not long after them, fixed his unruly hair. Flemont kissed his wife good morning and sat down.

“You cooked this?” James asked you while chewing in a piece of the pancake. You nodded after taking a sip of orange juice.

“It's really good” Sirius added, looking at you

“Hey! Why does he get three, and I get two” James whined after seeing his friend's plate

You just shrugged “I made one extra, I guess, should have sat in that chair dimwit”. James placed his hand dramatically against his chest and gasped, making the adults laugh. “Alright kids, let's get going, we have to get to the station, up up!” Effie ushered you all out of the chairs and up the stairs.

You packed some things that were missing as well as some clothes Effie gave you. After a while, you were interrupted by a knock on the door, by the doorway stood Sirius with his leather jacket on and a small backpack decorated with more muggle band pins. “Hey, just wanted to say thanks for breakfast, and about the whole parent thing last night, don't worry about it, yeah?” His voice was calm, but the way He toyed with his cuticle said otherwise

You held two thumbs up and smiled “Do you need help packing something, or are you guys all set?” You ask him, closing the latch of your briefcase. He stopped leaning on the door frame and scoffed “James is still trying to pack his bloody books” You chuckled and went to their shared room. There, James stood, all the books and new supplies splayed across his bed, and at least his clothes were packed.

“Come on James time to pack, we leave in ten” you say with a hand on his shoulder, “Mom will chase me down the house if she sees I forgot to pack” he said with a breathy laugh and started organizing all the books in ways that would let the other fit as well.

After a couple of minutes of playing with the space, all his bags were done and laid in front of the main entrance, all ready to leave. As you all waited, Fleamont and Euphemia came down the stairs in their casual attire. “I don't want to receive any messages from any of you saying you left something home, alright?” Fleamont said with his eyes squinted, you all nodded

“Come here very quick dear” Monty whispered before pulling a pair of gloves from his pockets. “People frown upon blood magic, don't try to explain, no lo entenderán, no one will question it now because the weather calls for gloves, yet once it gets more humid they'll start asking questions” He paused and started to slide said gloves on your hands, carefully, not wanting to open up any scabs. “If anyone, I mean it, anyone, bothers you for it you call me or Euphemia, understood?” You nodded firmly, looking at his eyes, then hugged him. Euphemia could only smile at the sight. Just before any tears could start flowing, she cleared her throat and spoke “Alright then, off we go”

You all quickly grabbed your bags and apparated to a train station somewhere in Britain, Sirius had explained that this was a normal train station, not everyone was a witch or a wizard,you'd think if five people just showed up out of thin air on a semi crowded station people who've only seen magic behind a screen would be astonished, scared even. But no, no one even batted an eye, everyone minded their own business, too engrossed in their own things, maybe if people paid more attention to their surroundings, more would believe in magic.

Monty and Effie wanted to stay and bid you all farewell insisting that being late to work once isn't that big of a deal but you kept saying it would be alright and Sririus said something along the lines of “ what a great example you are giving us” with a smug smirk, with that thy left and kissed the foreheads of all of you and apparated back, not before giving you your ticket.

“We’re going to go find our friends so you can meet them, alright? Don't move an inch” Sirius said, trying to stifle a laugh and James, not seeming to catch the hint, looked at him worriedly pointing at the ticket, but he just grabbed his hand and bolted out running “What about the ticket man?” “Lets see if she gets it shh”

So there you stood, two carts filled with equipment with no owners and a ticket in your hand

You stood next to a pillar and looked at your ticket, looked at the station number in front of you, then back at the ticket. “What the fuck?” you muttered

“You’re not gonna find it by looking at the signs. After all, they were designed by muggles” a voice said behind you. You looked towards the direction the voice came from, expecting to find Sirius’s face accompanied by his smirk, but instead, your eyes were met with…one of the creepy ones, with a woman next to him. Your face turned sour.

“I thought i told you to back-”

“Mother, this is the person I mentioned to you about after our trip to Diagon” he interrupted, causing you to scowl at him.

The woman next to him looked at you, and her unamused face quickly turned into a smile, fake as fake can be.

“Pleasure to meet you, Miss. Rouge, I do hope we become acquainted” she said

You blinked twice as all the high society manners, learned in infancy, came back to you in a matter of seconds. “The pleasure is mine Lady….Oh you must forgive me! I'm so forgetful with surnames, but it truly is a pleasure to finally meet you” Your comment seemed to have taken her back.

“Our family’s name is hard to forget, yet I do understand that it must be unusual, given from…where you come from” try as she might, the disgust on her face was palpable.

‘What a bitch’ you thought

“Our house is but the most ancient and noble, House of Black” she continued

oh.

“I’ll make sure to remember this time, Lady Black. This has been lovely but I must get going, it was great to see you again…friend” you say in a plain manner, ready to turn on your heel to go find your friends until you heard her speak again.

“Regulus, do help her find her way to the train will you” she said sternly

“Yes mother” With that, he took your cart and left without giving you a say in anything. He kept walking with your cart quite fast, making it hard for you to catch up. “Hey! Could you stop, i'm not supposed to move. I'm waiting for friends” You barked at him, yet he showed no signs of stopping. “Hey!” You yelled once more, and he halted, thinking he finally listened to you, you sighed. “We have arrived”

Arrived where? What the actual fuck is wrong with these people?

Your apparent destination was a brick wall. Lovely.

“Go straight into that wall, and you'll find the train” he said, grey irises look at you. You laughed “Look man i know you don't like me, but I'm not that stupid.. I don't want a concussion”

He rubbed his temple exhausted. “I hope Pandora is wrong ‘cause you are unbearable, just follow instructions and get lost, I have friends to find and I don't fancy missing the train”

“You know what, fine, go look for the others weirdos” “How original” he scoffed as he walked away

You decided to just do what he said. What's the worst that could happen? Embarrassment? Concussion? Please.

You grabbed the cart and ran as fast as you could through the bricked wall, praying to all the gods to let this be true and not get seriously injured in the process.

Guess they listened!

You opened your eyes once again, and there you stood, in front of a beautiful red train. Hundreds of kids bidding farewell to their parents and a couple crying at the thought of leaving once more. Entering the train, you put your belongings in the compartments and walked to try and find a booth to sit in.

You went past at least three full booths and one who seemed to fit one more passenger, but those two were quite busy, to say the least , Lovely reunions all around. Still no Marauders in sight.

Your search ended when you found one that had two sleeping students, so quietly you slide open the doors and sit on the opposite side of them

As soon as you sat down the girl woke up, scaring the soul out of you, her eyes were groggy, as was her voice once she spoke “You're that new student” voiced in more of a statement than a question

“Straight to the point I see” you said unfazed. Her eyes met yours, pupils wide and intensely set on reading you. The color reminded you of the blue of the sea back home

Pretty

“Dalia, you know it's wrong to stare” the previously sleeping boy spoke, breaking the tension. Pulling her back from her staring contest before continuing “I apologize for her conduct, she hates train rides, so she took some - muggle magic if you know what I mean” his Irish accent thick

You chuckled “I see, make sure she gets some water after the magic wears down” He nodded “Will do”

“My name is Soren, by the way. Nice to meet you” he extended his hand, and you shaked it, introducing yourself. “It's very rare for Hogwarts to receive exchange students this late into the school year”

“So I've heard” you say with a sigh and placing your carry on by your side. “What houses are you two in?” you asked genuinely, trying to keep conversation going.

Soren's eyes sparkled “I love this question!” he almost shrieked, “Gods have mercy on you now” his sister groaned, her head laid back against the train's seat, opening her eyes enough to glare at him.

Soren only rolled his eyes and leaned forward, elbows on his knees and hands supporting his head. “We are both Hufflepuff, which is so strange for our family, the Selwyn’s. They're all Slytherins”

“Which totally didn't cost us half of their wealth and properties” Dalia spoke, still laid back, but her words had some vermin laced in them. “That's not something that matters when you can choose your own path, is it” he turned his head to look at his sister. She opened one eye and scoffed “Sod off”

“Funniest thing is that Hufflepuffs are usually very bubbly and outgoing but little miss sunshine over her’ is quite the opposite” he pointed at his sister with a smile. She switched positions, making her body face the window before muttering a faint “whatever”

“Why is being in a different house than all your family cause such a problem” Your voice sounds confused, and Soren almost forgot you are not from around here

“Right well it's difficult to explain in such a short train ride” he scratched the back of his head, chuckling. “Scaoil é” {drop it}

Dalia grunted from her place in the booth. You decided to stop asking questions, feeling the atmosphere turn a little sour. Soren, on the other hand, tried to make it lighter. “I hear the trolley, I totally recommend the chocolate frogs. They're divine” he said, pointing at the door. You saw an old lady pushing a small trolley cart filled with sweets and chips. You opened the booth to buy some treats, getting four chocolate frogs and a bag of crisps. After paying you heard a low ‘psst psst’ from across the hall, it was a blonde girl with smokey black eyeshadow.

You pointed your finger at yourself, asking if she was talking to you, and she nodded. You tossed some sweets to Soren with a smile and went up to the girls. She tossed her arm around you “Pleasure to meet you lovely, im Marlene” her voice was like, If caffeine and nicotine met..so energetic. “Hiya, I don't believe we've met before” you ask, puzzled, not really pushing off her arm. She walked you to god knows where, but you follow anyway.

“Nope! But the guys told me all about ya” She said smiling “Good thing knowing there's gonna be another girl ‘round”

It finally clicked, the other Gryffindor friends!

You introduced yourself to the blonde and had some casual banter before ending It in front of

a booth, she opened it and there they were.

Remus, Sirius, James, and what you would've guessed was Peter.

“Brought you the parcel mate, Pay up” she signaled Sirius, which he just rolled his eyes at her audacity “I got money for one butterbeer for each Hogsmeade trip Marl” he whined. “So much for being from an outstanding family Master Black” she rolled her eyes “Does anyone in this train know what the word disowned means?”

“Long time no see dove” Remus smiled at you. You waved and said hello to the rest of the boys, still intertwined with Marlene. “Te dije que ibas a hacer amigos rápido!” {I told you'd make friends quickly}" James exclaimed, and you could only laugh. He put his hand on the smaller boy beside him and shook him “This is the Marauder you haven't met yet! Peter, this is Y/n, Y/n. This is Peter. You shook the boy's hand, and he happily reciprocated the action.

“Pleasure to meet you. These three scallywags almost cried when they couldn't find ya” he chuckled. You placed your free hand on your hip “If they hadn't let me to my own devices..”

“I like her attitude!” Marlene smiled

A tap was heard from behind you, there Llily sat tapping at the glass door of the booth with a contagious grin, once she catched your attention she slid the door open. “So happy to see you again, lovely!” she spoke, voice full of glee. “I was starting to wonder where you were, Lily!” you replied, matching her energy. “Rule of thumb, wherever you see these four sodding idiots-” she pointed at the Marauders “You'll see us” she pointed at her and Marlene. She chuckled and paused abruptly. “Lils, where the hell did Cas go?” she asked the red head, who answered with a shrug.

“She's probably out there talking with the lunatics she calls her friends” he scoffed, slumping down on the chair. “Padfoot, play nice” Remus said sternly, causing him to roll his eyes. “Who’s Cas?” You asked, “She’s the friend we told you about, that has friends in other houses, not just Slytherin” he reminded Sirius. “I bloody got it!” he exclaimed with his arms in the air. “I would go fetch her, but last time I went near em, that bastard Crouch had the nerve to hiss at me” Marlene said with a groan. “Just let her be. It's not a crime” Peter chimed in.

“Come sit with us! We have to give you some very juicy gossip, so you won't be daft on the important stuff” Marlene said with a wink, finally leaving your side, not that you minded. “Sure! Just let me get my backpack, Soren is holding it right now” you beam, but their looks of worry don't escape you “Everything alright?” You ask, Remus coughed “Soren Selwyn?” he asked, and you nodded. “Careful with those two, he’s great, but his sister– she’s something alright” Lily added

You just hummed “I'll keep it in mind, thanks” and off you went.

Not far away from their booths sat two ravens and two snakes all while Dorcas, a Phoenix, leaned by their booths's door listening in

“You can keep her for all I care” said Regulus, not looking away from his journal, pen still in thought. The comment aimed at Dorcas.

“Be nice Reg” Pandora hissed, peeking her head through to see your figure down the hall. “She's all acquainted with the feathered bastards” Evan said, causing Barty and Pandora to give him a look. “Y'know what I mean, there's no chance she'll hang around us now” he continued. Dorcas spoke, “Who said we couldn't share idiot”

You sat the rest of the ride next to the blonde and the redhead as they told you about all the gossip, ranging from the latest fashion scandal to which teachers were having affairs with their spouses with fellow professors. Time flew like the wind in that booth, and soon enough, the train took a violent stop, causing you to yelp and the girls to laugh. “You get used to it at some point Marlen laughed and palmed at your back, Everyone was up and walking to the nearest exits when you spotted who you presumed was Dorcas run down the passageways to reach the girls “Sorry i guess i got carried away” she giggled and Marlene smiled at her, “no hard feelings c’mon let's go!” she said, handing her the bag with her name embroidered on the front pocket. Dorcas looked at you and smirked before going back to Marlene and exiting the train

“You ready?” asked James with a warm smile.

Stepping down the train, you stood amazed, there it stood before you, a gorgeous castle like campus, brown and worn down from age but just as beautiful as any other. “Pretty cool, huh?” Sirius smiled beside you. Your eyes started to water at the thought of your mother seeing you now, where she studied all those years ago, suddenly all your belongings showed up in front of you in a trolley, then came the carriages being pulled by what could only be described as undead horses, black and grey in color with gray cloudy eyes. “How has no one died of a heart attack by those” you say, pointing at the horse. Remus just laughed “Are self moving carts that terrifying?” You looked at him dumbfounded “It's this another prank of yours?” You laughed uneasy, and he looked at you as if you said something funny and bent down to adjust the straps on the trolley so none of your items would fall.

You went over and caressed the snout of the horse huffing in front of you, not quite catching the look that Pandora gave you from a safe distance

“See, she's not so different from us, Evan. She’s seen death” Evan stayed silent

Now inside of the school, you could see all the students in all their glory, some hugging their friends, some younger running around the halls and a very busy couple huddled up behind a column, “Do Frank and Alice know that public indecency is a school violation and also a crime?” Peter spoke with an annoyed expression.

“That's only if they expose their naughty bits, rat boy” a very familiar voice speaks, winking at you as he walks away “Lock your dorm tonight, you bastard!” yelled the boy, his face red as a beet

“Don’t listen to that nutcase. He’s got some screws loose” you say to Peter, “tell me about it” he says with a roll of his eyes.

“Chop chop, students! Everyone in their robes, dinner shall start soon, punctuality is very important!” A woman with the stereotypical witch hat hollered in the rowdy halls, “That’s Minerva McGonagall, we call her Minnie, just don't say it to her face” Sirius commented “We have come to the conclusion that she might just be immortal, my dad’s grandfather was taught by her” James snickered

“Potter! I'm glad the New Year’s feast has made you so full of jokes, but i'm sure i mentioned that punctuality is what we proud ourselves in this fine school” Suddenly she was behind you making James jump out of his skin “Yes Minnie- i mean! Ms. McGonagall " took a stroll around the gardens and came back. “I expect the Gryffindor table to be full this afternoon. Miss Rouge. I ask you to stay away from trouble, these rascals attract it like magnets! Welcome to our school nonetheless,” She says with such class after just reprimanding the boy.

“Thankyou Ms.” You smile at her, and she leaves, not long before screaming “Mr. Longbottom! I hope this doesn't become the norm this year. Do not run young man!” causing everyone around to start snickering

After being pulled by Lily to the nearest bathroom to change into the robes, not before putting a locking spell on all your belongings saying something about “we may be wizard and witches, but greed still exists “ You don't know what you expected for the restrooms, but they were indeed just normal toilets. You adjusted the shirt and skirt in front of the mirror before putting on the robe. You saw Lily put on a red and yellow tie and had to ask “How do I get one of those?”

“Once they put the sorting hat on your head you'll know what colors are best for you, crossing all my fingers it'll be just as mine” she smiled and you could only do the same. Just as you were leaving the bathroom, a head of blonde braided hair passed right beside you. You snapped your head back and were met with a kind smile, it was Pandora, her tie was blue and white “I think blue would suit you quite well” she whispered loud enough for you to hear.

“We’re gonna be late for dinner, c’mon!” You hear Lily say outside the door frame “nice seeing you again Pandora” Short and sweet, and you left.

Running to the entrance of the dinning hall you met with the rest of the Gryffindors everyone was going past the huge wooden doors “Hope you’re hungry” was the only thing James said before ushering you to enter the hall, at the creak of the wood all heads were now looking at your direction, you followed behind Marlene who kept talking about all her mates at the table while all you could hear were whispers from others tables, she took notice at your nerves and takes a breath “Hey don't worry about them, fuckers havent seen a new pretty face in a while” she said with a wink making you let out a flustered chuckle.

You stopped at what you guessed was the Gryffindor table, where Dorcas sat with a leg up in the stool “Look at her! Our newcomer seems to be missing some red on that uniform, don't ya think” she asked Alice next to her “I agree Meadowes” she said with a grin. You went to take a seat, yet you heard an approaching ‘Passing through!’ and countless yelps and plates clattering near the table. “Great, the ghosts are here” Frank rolled his eyes, and you looked at him in disbelief “Ghosts?!”

“Yes, Ghosts! There's plenty in Hogwarts” a translucent man says in front of you before getting all in your face “Get used to it!” You jumped back at the scare “That's Nearly Headless Nick, he's harmless but an asshat” Remus whispered in your ear, “I heard that young man! I am no such thing!I represent this glorious house, and you, young lady, are not from around here!” the ghost exclaimed.

“Why Nearly headless” you regretted asking as soon as it left your lips cause once it did, his neck split nearly horizontally in half, hanging by a measly thread “oh”

“Nick just let her sit here, she'll get her house soon” whined Marlene “No can do, Dumbledore asked me to fetch her, she's taking a test of sorts” his voice chivalrous as ever. “They aren't bringing the hat out?” asked James dumbfounded “The hat is not to be disturbed. She'll be brought to the hat” “Vago de mierda” he huffed {lazy piece of shit}

You walked out of the dinning hall next to the ghost, hearing from behind you a loud “Red and yellow suit you best!”

The Ghost guided you through the endless halls of Hogwarts, passing classrooms and rooms he said wer out of order or our of reach for students, the so called tour ended at the third floor, in front of you stood a grand gargoyle the size of a giant “off we go young lady” he said as he went through the wall and you just stood there, did he really expect you could do that too??

Needless to say that he came back and muttered the words “Sherbert Lemon” and the gargoyle moved to show a pair of stone stairs, he ushered you to go in and wished you good luck before the gargoyle closed the entrance behind you as you went up. The stairs soon came to an end, and you stood in front of the office, books flying gracefully around the room, shining bottles of potions decorating the shelves.

“Ms. Rouge, I take it” a voice called out from the chair behind the desk. You gulped as nervousness engulfed your body and answered “Yes, i came her for some sort of exam”

The chair turned, and there he was, Albus Dumbledore beard as grand as one can be and stoic as ever. “That is correct, the exam shall determine your skills as a witch” he stood up and started walking around his personal library, taking out books and potion materials “After which will tell me in what year you shall be placed” He placed some ingredients on top of his desk and looked at you “Make two potions with any of these you have 10 minutes” He set a sand clock as soon as his words left his mouth.

You looked at the array of ingredients, some you've never seen in your life, others more common like fruits. After seeing some Asian dragon hair, you instantly remembered Fleamonts lesson on how to get ones hair to look amazing. Quickly, you grabbed the petroleum jelly, the dragon hair, and the gomas barbadensis. You mixed it all in a bowl, smashing it to a thick paste and set it aside for your next potion.

You looked at everything once again, trying to come up with any simple potion that could be made in the 4 minutes you had left. It clicked. Aging potion!

You grabbed some Newt spleens the slithering orange snake and some green leafs, “sorry lil guy” you whisper to the snake as you cut their head off and dump it to the pile of ingredients, next you smush everything up to an orange mush…its supposed to be green. Your time was running out, but you remembered that it involved a common fruit, so you quickly added four slices of apple to the mix, and it changed from an off orange to a deep aquamarine..shit.

The sand clock emptied its top side, and Dumbledore came to inspect your potions

“Very quick thinking, Ms. Rouge yet i was expecting some more practical potions, nevertheless the Sleekeazy potion would be very well executed if it wasn't for the fact that instead of Asian dragon hair you instead added European dragon hair, which would give the opposite effect we are looking for, the Ageing potion on the other hand, was wrong, not only were the quantities of each ingredient were wrong but the correct fruit is bananas not apples”

To say you were disappointed in yourself was an understatement, but there was still hope. The next test was a spell test. You took out your wand and performed a set of simple yet advanced spells such as Aqua Eructo, Aparecium, and Confringo on a poor cockroach who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Next was something you’ve barely heard of, Divination. The test consisted of the headmaster telling you an array of dreams and nightmares, and you had to decipher. Once you got your final score, it came out a whopping twenty percent! The astrology part was rather easy, your mother had taught you some interesting facts about this, making your score improve in this area.

The other subjects were walks in the park, already being quite versed in Charms, Astronomy, and History of Magic, which made the scores on those well-rounded one hundreds. Once all was finished, you were left exhausted, hair disheveled, and eyes tired. “I have come to the decision that you will be taking every class apar with the fifth years except Potions and Divination, this will be with the fourth years given your disadvantage with the subjects, if you get someone from the fifth year to tutor you and your teacher and I see any progress, i'll see it that you go to your respective year”

You nodded already dreaming of the comfort of the mattress, as soon as he finished his sermon the door to the office opened and in came McGonagal with a smile on her face “I'm sure we’re eager to get our house now?” she asked, looking at you, and you only nodded sleepily. She went to a shelf and took a brown hat, worn down by time, and you were sure it smelled of deviled eggs. “I'm sure it's too early to be doing this once again, don't you think?!” The hat spoke. The hat spoke. Why are you even surprised anymore?

She turned the hat to face you, and you were sure you saw the indents that were meant to be his eyes widened. “Exchange student! How exotic” She placed it on your head and it started humming “I can sense the passion and loyalty, yet the determination is more prominent, hmmm ambitious enough to use those transcripts, Salazar would be proud!, purpureus pluvia was it?” it asked “Shut it” you retorted

“Such character! Slytherin it is!” it exclaimed, and it was removed from your head in an instant “There we go young lady, Slytherin it is! Your colored uniform will be displayed in your dorm room once you get there”

Outside the headmaster's office were the Marauders who watched with confusion as Pandora more or less dragged Barty and Evan to their current spot with Regulus walking behind them, face uninterested as always

Evan scowled at the sight of the Gryffindors “The bloody hell these wankers doin’ here” he said “Dorcas control your dog” James snapped back making the girl stifle her laugh. “Probably set someone's pants on fire at the welcome back dinner” Barty scoffed.

“I'll keep that in my list for when we visit the Ravenclaw dorms,” Sirius said with a smirk, leaning on the wall.

“Careful now, pranks led by you are not the Marauders strongest suit’s” Regulus said, glaring at Sirius. Before Remus could say anything, the door opened. You looked around, the tension palpable. You looked at Pandora and her fellow observers, it wasn't her that made you mad but the other three that just would not stop making snarky remarks “I’ve told you four to stop or did I not?” You spoke, completely ignoring your friends.

“Hmm, I don't recall” Barty said, index finger on top of his lips, he was mocking you.

“Don't start you two” Pandora sighed

“What house?” asked Regulus

“Wouldn’t you like to know jackass?” You barked back, Barty only cackled.

“Leave it” James said from behind you before continuing “What house did the hat tell you?” “Slytherin” the disappointment in your voice was evident.

Pandora and Regulus looked at each other with a matching smirk, You slowly turned around as you heard the following phrase come out of Barty “Guess you’re coming with us Treasure”

The Selwyn’s ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

TAGLIST: @barnesandmetal @etyaty

!! Thank you so much for getting this far. I can't wait to continue this series!! lf you'd like to be added to the taglist,let me know

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ DO NOT;; RE-UPLOAD, TRANSLATE NOR COPY MY WORKS!! This belongs to;; -SASAGEHOES

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for breaking up with my boyfriend?

I (32F) broke up with my boyfriend Jack (30M) a few months ago over a couple Issues I've been dealing with: I found out I have a degenerative issue with my eyes and will be going blind, and his dad hates me for being as he quotes "fat, uneducated, and bad with jobs". Note: I am infact obese, I do not have a college degree, and had lost my job 3 times in a row in 6mos before I hit the stable job I'm at now, due to mental breakdowns at work.

Jack has lived with his parents his whole life, and revers them greatly. However I can tell he's going through the same thing I did with my parents- Where they prioritized him getting good grades over his mental health, he constantly apologizes and thinks I will hate and abandon him over very simple things, he rather delve in games than face his problems, because he thinks he is comfortable when it's very much making him feel worse.

I cut contact with my parents 3 years ago for these exact same reasons- They were overbearing, abusive, and without another way to say it: extremely catholic. Because I was financially dependent on them and didn't know any better, I thought I could live with them as an adult because of how expensive housing is where we live.

Eventually I had to start getting therapy because I would have meltdowns so often in school, and found out it was the way that my parents treated me when I was younger, and that I have AuDHD- something my parents denied as me being too stupid and lazy to do anything after high school.I got on medication and though my ADHD improved, i had to continue therapy due to my Autism now having more time to focus and overwhelm me and having to learn to unmask. I've been told my personality did a 180 over this from peers that hadn't seen me pre-pandemic, but I'm happier now, and eventually found a way to move away from my parents and living with my Uncle instead, who instead of belittling me is encouraging my therapy.

I am explaining this, because Jack does the same things I do- he's almost the exact same as I was with my parentls. He has constant meltdowns and spirals, he thinks he's worthless because of the way his Mom and Dad treats him, yet he keeps putting his parents on a pedestal. It's because we seemed to grow up in the same kinds of environment that we bonded and eventually started dating last year.

Us openly dating did not last long, though, because when he introduced me to his parents they immedietely did not like me. They did not like that I wanted to help with dinner, or refuse eating chicken, because Jack is severely allergic to it. They also did not like that I wanted to clean the table and kept sidelooking at me whever we talked.

Because of this simple lunch, for months, they pressured him to break up with me but he wouldn't. He said he loves me as I am, and his parents are just stupid. We even had to start keeping the relationship secret, because his parents would harass him for coming to just pick me up, or meet me at a tennis court so we would play a game or two. His parents can track him through his car, so they always knew where he was.

I told him what I had to do to leave my parents house, but he said it's too hard to do that. My Uncle was sympathetic about this and even discussed with him to move into our house, but he refused that too.

Last month, I went to a vision doctor due to headaches and blurrier than usual vision, and found out that I would be losing my eyesight due to something going on within my eyes. Its extremely stressful for me, and dealing with that, and the constant harassment from Jacks parents, I got very tired. it was getting to the point where he couldnt go out without his parents yelling at him about me for something, we only hung out for once day per month. I didn't want to give them something else to yell about me at him, and I felt it would ease his stress because they would stop bothering him. And, though it seems weird, I hoped it make him uncomfortable enough to do something for himself. So I ended up breaking up with him.

It has really hurt to do this to him- He's someone I love dearly, and he's taken it way harder than I thought. He won't listen to me, But. He does listen to his friends- it's how he asked me out, and at least try out therapy, his friends hyped him up about it so he did it. I feel if his friends help him realize what he needs to do, he'll be more inclined to help himself than me just telling him. And if not, his friends are still there to back him up than me staying near him and having his parents harass him about it.

His friends are mad at me though, and told me I should have just put up with his parents, because in the end I am in love with him and that I actually made the whole situation worse, because he has loss motivation. Even though I am still talking to him and still there for him alongside his friends- I just make myself scarce so his parents don't know we talk. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[ganondoodle]

as i was awake in the middle of the night for like 2 hours bc i felt sick i had more somewhat random totk thoughts

one being that i really hate how raurus response to concerned zelda is, after sonia died in that almost funny how little impactful it was way, "im sure you are here for a reason" (actually, i hate how often this sentence is used in general to .. idk i guess its supposed to be inspiritational???)

bc what does that mean actually? him saying that to someone who got there absolutely by accident really just sounds like "i dont care go figure it out yourself bc i dont want to think about anything concerning you or your troubles lol" i guess its meant to sound like OOOOH fate has BROUGHT you here bc you have to furfill a role you dont know yet (spoiler its being a sacrifice girl with no personality) and besides me hating the 'inescapable fate' trope in general (at least the way its usually done in these games, which is not to struggle against it but willingly accept whatever you are told and pretend thats good) its really jsut goddamn boring and is really only an excuse to well .. ignore her and her trouble; shouldnt you, if you were actually such a cool guy like the game wants me to believe so bad, do everything in your power to get zelda back to her own world before shes pulled even further into the war you caused now that her only ""mentor"" that could help her get more use of her pretty much useless sudden powers is gone too?? i know shes basically dead wife sonia replacement (can of worms ugh) but it still grinds my gears whenever i think of that cutscene, bc i cant help but hear it as the lamest excuse in existence to not care about her and just kinda .. see what happens which in this case means leave zelda completely on her her own since both rauru and mineru die as well (honestly shouldnt rauru have thought about like .. any plan to defeat gan besides dying himself, given hes the oh so cool and goodest guy king whos only mistake was not stabbing gan the second he stepped into their kathedral castle thing, like even if you had a plan it can still fail but it seemed like he just kinda went in with a handful of people that didnt seem to know each other at all, never got names or faces -or unique voices for that matter- to fight gan face to face inlcuding the girl that came from a different time and had nothing to do with any of this conflict and couldnt even really control her sudden new powers just seems pretty stupid)

thought 2

how totk really feels like botw but for the people who didnt like shiekah tech, its not a sequel, its botw again, but version of only sonau, its like a pokemon game that had two versions but one has weirdly incoherent story and acts like the other never existed jsut as a whole its like retreading the same points but worse, all shiekah tech that was so integral to the world and had such a long history just vanishing and no one caring about any of it like it never happened, HELL the titans were called divine beasts in english but i guess they werent divine or important enough to keep around LOL champions WHO and isntead a never before seen or even heard of race for that matter showing up and planting their ass in every place the shiekah were before, dare i say it feels weirdly manipulative, like either them or some outside force erasing every fact about the ancient shiekah and replace them with sonau stuff bc they are the hot new shit now

this is a point that just doesnt stop bothering me, how the shiekah tech seemed so carefully designed and integrated into botws world and story, its a difficult to keep balance after all, integrating high tech stuff into a medieval setting, but they made it work! and then totk comes around and throws a bunch modern day tech into it puts some vague greenish stone filter on its exterior and call that even better more ancient tech; why did they even bother to make pottery inspired laser shooting spider legged robots so well integrated when they throw a car and rockets into the next game without a thought and call it a day, what was the fucking point

it feels like someone was dead set on having a set of legos thrown into the game it had no place in, if you want players to build whatever they want make a building game instead!! especially if you are just gonna throw it in with seemingly no consideration how out of place it feels togehter with the fACT THAT YOU ALREADY HAD AND ANCIENT HIGH TECH CIVILIZATION WITH A VERY DISTINCT AESTHETIC THAT WAS ALREADY WELL INTEGRATED INTO THE WORLD YOU ARE PLANNING TO REUSE WITH ALOT OF MYSTERY AND UNKOWN STUFF ABOUT THEM TO EXPLORE FURTHER YOU COULD HAVE USED!! but i guess they just "didnt want to play with you anymore" and that so much so that they went out of their way to erase every trace of it, i dont think the words shiekah tech are ever used in the game, and the purah pad and her towers just drive me more isnane bc they are the same shit but called different and also much worse, liek the purah pad isnt some more developed shiekah stone, no its a glorified camera with a teleport function and thats it

(i know i said this before but i really cant stand how obsessed every single NPC is with sonau shit, you get told to your face every second line of dialog that they are so cool and are so mysterious that it just makes me annoyed of them even more, the game is obsessed with shoving them everywhere and telling you over and over you too should obsess over them, they werent weird like that about the shiekah stuff in botw?? the biggesst talking point in botw was calamity ganon ..... which makes sense and in totk its like ... gan is mentioned what, in a newspaper article??? once???and then not even by name i think???)

aside from that big point which will never let me go, its also just .. its not moving forward anything, it actively walks BACK the progress that was made in botw, call me dumb but i dont really count moving one step up in the social roles of each race as a character development (for the side characters like the champions desc- ahem SAGES) but mainly zelda ... god how dirty she was done, totk pretty explicitely makes her regress any development she made in botw aside from she likes link uwu and some people like her too, but also not enough to notice that that weird zelda being all evil and weird isnt her (INLCUDING THE CHAMP- SAGES WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY FRIENDS WITH??? you dont have to be a genius to pick up on that my god, were you all given the mc dumbo potion or what)

she gets put back to square one, back into the little itty bitty princessy maiden role forced upon her by her royal parentage, this time rauru edition, back into a white little dress, back into the scared puppy eyed teenager, back into a situation she cant handle, back into losing everyone around her (tho honestly botw made me care more about rhoam than totk did about rauru), back into being forced to do a big sacrifice- but worse actually

in botw she went to FIGHT AND HOLD GANON IN THE CASTLE SO LINK HAD TIME TO RECOVER AND IT WOULDNT DESTROY THE LAND!! and you are telling me in totk rauru takes up her botw role and she bascially killed herself to ... restore the mastersword.

......... she ... she did that only to be a glorified version of the stone pedestal in the forest. and then she gets returned to normal itty bitty girly no problem via magic sparkle beam at the end and

DOESNT

EVEN

REMEMBER.

it really is just botw but worse, you even get yet another ghost king of hyrule to guide you around (rhoam did it better fight me ... we dont talk about the questionable choice to make himself darker skinned when posing as just some guy)

i honestly dont think i was ever truly taken aback by anythign that happened in botw, while in totk, the further i played, the more i had to fight with myself to keep the feeling of unease, disappointment and betrayal down

its such a god damn shame, totk should have stayed a DLC, i will forever mournfully dream of a game that explores more of the ancient shiekah, doesnt erase integral parts of the world, developes characters more instead of making them regress back and make them end up even less developed than at the start of the game, dives into buried secrets and mistakes of dark pages of history without giving into a weirldy nationalist(imperalisitc?) narrative and lets characters have some agency for once

if it werent for the yiga i might have actually considered refunding the game, just to be at peace with myself

anyway, aboslutely incoherent word vomit.

[thewertsearch]

TG: i will be your server TG: and past me will stay as roses server TG: which is to say present me will TG: the one in the black suit GG: ohh… GG: i guess that makes sense TG: he can keep managing her for a while TG: until she sorta checks out soon and becomes totally useless

Rose is already detached from the party, following unseen orders in service of an unseen plan - but according to Dave, she's going to get worse.

This, I assume, is the point at which she becomes obscured from Kanaya's viewport. Rose is going to keep digging this hole, right up until she reaches some critical point on her timeline - and then, if I'm reading correctly between the lines, she's going to fall apart.

Final alchemy session, let's go!

Hey, calm down! Just because it's snowing outside doesn't mean it's Christmas just yet.

We're certainly getting close...

STEP OFF. … You decide he can keep the SORD….. though.

Abandoning your best weapon? A poor tactical decision by the Knight.

TT: Did you do anything on the moon besides rifle through my belongings? TT: Such as remove your shades and turn your gaze Ringward, by any chance? [...] TG: i did TT: What did you see? TG: horrible things [...] TG: when i saw them TG: their voices became clearer TT: What were they saying? TG: i couldnt really focus on anything specific TG: but TG: in totality TG: im pretty sure it was TG: like TT: ? TG: a plea for help

That's a little vague - but then again, they may be so alien to us that they're not able to communicate more clearly. This might be the closest thing to a human-readable message that the Gods can create.

This is probably a good place to put my transcription of the Squiddle song from Jade's nap. Much of it is unintelligible, but the parts we can hear are rather illuminating.

Squiddles are no ordinary friends, they work, and play, and work again. But they have homes, and mommies too; yes, they have mommies just like you.

Firstly, the Squiddles try to explain that they're not completely different from us. They're extraordinary creatures, practically incomprehensible to the Players - and yet, they have a home. They have loved ones. They play.

They repeat this assertion twice, as though they desperately want the Players to understand this.

So let them go to bed right now, so they can rest, and make cute sounds. If they can't rest they won't be strong …and they are really tiny.

They go on to say that they're exhausted. They need to rest, but something is keeping them busy. As a result, they're becoming 'tiny' and weak.

They can't make the 'cute sounds' that they're known for, which I suspect is a metaphor for the advice they normally dispense to Derse Dreamers, but I'm less sure about that.

[Unintelligible] …so let them sleep... …cause they will die if…

At this point, the music begins to fade out - but not before we hear that the Squiddles' lives are in danger. Something out in the depths of space is killing the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors.

Squiddle dee dee, squiddle dee dum. Everyone sing, a Squiddley song. Let's all be friends, And work as a team. Squiddles for you, Squiddles for me.

The final verse is self-explanatory.

It's unclear what, exactly, is happening out in the Furthest Ring, but it's dire enough that the Horrorterrors are reaching out to their neighbors, the Players of Sburb, and asking them to form an alliance.

We're seeing that alliance through Feferi, who has convinced them to blow the Dream Bubbles and link the two sessions. We're also seeing it through Rose, the only human Player willing to listen to the Squiddles' song - but her situation is more murky. I do think I understand her mental state a little better, though.

Rose is acting on Horrorterror advice - which means she's acting on whispers, corrupted images and half-heard fragments of a song. I don't think the Gods are manipulating her so much as they're playing a game of Telephone with her brain. They can't relay direct instructions, so the best they can do is transmit the vibe of what needs to happen, and the Seer has to figure the rest out for herself.

No wonder she's so evasive about her plan - I don't think she understands more than a quarter of it. She isn't nearly as in-control of the situation as she's pretending to be, and if she admits as much to John, she'd probably lose her nerve.

[kcyars99]

The truth about Tim Miller:

A gay man whose world view led him to become a lifelong Republican has the political acumen of a Jewish man who becomes a Nazi.

But it's even worse than that: it's like a Jewish man who helped build the Nazi party. That type of person can never be one of the faces of the Democratic party because he'll never understand it. And honestly, how could he?

To be part of a persecuted minority but find your identity in an alliance with the persecutors? You're unable to grasp any kind of reality that exists outside of whiteness. Whiteness is going to always come first.

And after you spent a decade being Frankenstein, your Republican monster inevitably chased you to the only other game in town: the Democratic party.

Because the GOP never really stood for anything but racism, sexism, and chasing power, and because there's no culture, no values, and no soul, a totally insane lying lunatic was able to swoop in and demagogue his way into ruling the party with an iron fist.

And I get it, you're gay, and now your allies wants to destroy the lives of everyone like you while being happy to use you to further those ends. It's untenable. But instead of putting up a fight and trying to save your party, you go to where the grass is bluer.

One problem: the Democratic party has a soul and it's name is the BLACK VOTER.

Where you wouldn't fight for your party? We will. Where you wouldn't guard your party from demagouges? We do. We don't have the caucasity to assume that we'll be alright. We're not white. It's always existential for us. We can never take our political power for granted.

That's why when you were grooming your party to fall victim to Trump, Bernie Sanders was over here falling flat on his face. Hillary built with us. Biden spent his whole life with us. They have equity. If you want anything over here in Dem land? You need us. Being a former Republican, you have no idea how we work because YOUVE NEVER HAD TO LISTEN TO US.

I'll get to how I know YOU, Tim Miller, have never listened to us in just a second.

That's also why we kill off culture vultures. We're so sensitive to anyone who wants anyone who wants to use us for their gain when we know they'll never get in the trenches with us. And we see it coming a mile away.

That's why we never fall for Trump scams in trying to astroturf black support. Not only does our life depend on us seeing through it, we're disgusted by it.

Now you've abandoned your party. Despite all the money you've made grifting off the party, you have one bad day in your new Democratic life, and now you're trying to rally us to abandon our decades long investment in Joe Biden because he needed a nap, a Joe Biden who beat Trump when you losers couldnt, and you are flumoxed as to why we won't give up like you.

It's because you don't belong here. You have no equity. You haven't built anything with us. You've never been in the trenches. You're not in touch with us. You don't know the community. And more than anything, you don't have the first clue about Black culture.

And in the past 3 days, with endless Black people, specifically Black women, telling you you're wrong, you have no idea what you're talking about, and that you need to LISTEN to Black people, your every response has been the white privileged casually racist response of "I know the Black community better than you."

You don't.

Hell, the idea of representation never even occurred to you until you adopted a Black kid and you're walking through the toy aisle and couldn't find any black dolls. If you couldn't grasp that until it was forced upon you, what makes you think you know us better than we know ourselves? We've been black our whole lives.

And how do I know you'll NEVER have a place in our party?

759.8K

You adopted a little Black girl and still don't even bother to listen to Black women, let one Black people.

In the words of Kendrick Lamar: You're not a colleague. You're a fucking colonizer.

[miss-ery-3]

ughhhh, i don't want my blog to turn into some kind of relationship-crybaby-blog, but i do have a lot to think about atm

i dont really have anyone to talk with about this. all my friends are in happy relationships and dont really seem to take any other stance than "you cannot break up" and that just really isnt helping me

buuuut, if you aren't interested in my personal (non-ed) issues, just scroll on<333 no hard feelings

so, for now, i'll just type this into space and hopefully get some kind of catharsis i guess

it's currently 1 am and i am in my childhood bedroom and i can't sleep. my head feels like it is fucking spinning. every thought in my head is "why do i feel like this? if i feel this bad should i just stay with him? but do i actually feel in love with him anymore? it's not fair to continue being with him, if i don't actually want to. would i miss him? would i regret it?" and then just in a big ol' loop

mixed with thoughts of my friend i talked to all of friday night. his face has popped up in my head constantly since i went home at 7 am from being with him all night. i feel fucking butterflies in my stomach, and get all giggly, and i want to say his name out loud for some strange reason - until i think about what these fucking butterflies mean and then i feel sick to my stomach and want to throw up. every butterfly i feel is like taking a step away from my bf, and i literally cannot control it

i feel like an absolutely horrible person, fuckk,brnfjkgnkmrf

'cause i also keep thinking about all the things my bf have done that hurt me (i guess, to make myself feel better?? but it makes me feel a whole lot fucking worse. both because i feel like a horrible person, and because he's made me fucking sad a lot of times)

like this summer, i got my bachelors degree (a fucking big thing for me - and he knew that), and he knew that i would have my last exam in, like, the end of june. i gave him the date as soon as i could (maybe two/three weeks ahead) and then like a week before i graduate, he remembers that he has plans with his 5 best friends to go drinking

and guess what

he chooses to go drinking with his friends. he celebrates me for like... 1 hour, 2 hours max. as soon as my friends arrived he was like "oops gotta go drinking with my friends that i can see all the time. no time to celebrate my girlfriend getting her bachelors degree, although she will never ever have a day like this again. no no, gotta go get shitfaced. and i am actually not going to apologize"

also at my last birthday, i celebrated it at my parents house for most of the day, and then went home in the evening (like after dinner) to go get drinks with my friends. we had planned that he would come home to my parents with me the day before, and then we could wake up together on my birthday and he could be with me and celebrate and stuff

3 days before my birthday, he says he doesn't want to go with me to my parents' house to celebrate my birthday, because he has to read for school (it was in a holiday as well, he didn't have school for days). the weekend before my birthday he chose to go drinking with his friends (i was ofc not invited) and couldnt get out of bed for days, but whenever my birthday rolled around he had to be an A fucking student. so he cancels and then we only see each other for the last, like, 4 hours of my birthday, with all of my friends and some family - and then he got annoyed with me for getting sad

he talks over me, he interrupts me and then never asks me what i was saying, he ignores me every time he picks up his phone, he always prioritizes friends, family, work and school over me, he's really good at making me feel small (not in the good way) and stupid. he corrects almost everything i say, also stuff that i dont say, but that he just want to "clear up". he drops plans w me so easily, to be with his friends and he almost never invites me. he insists on touching my belly although i've told him it makes me very uncomfortable, and then gets annoyed when i remove his hand - because 'he likes touching it, and i shouldnt feel bad about my belly'. he often ignores my text messages if he doesnt feel like they matter to him. when i ran my first 10K he ran 11K the next day to show off (he did apologize, but i still cant believe he actually did that shit). whenever ive met his friends and family, they are better at including me in the conversation than he is: he will leave me alone with people i barely know, to go do something else (and he knows that i have some social anxiety). he gets annoyed with me over things that he believes i do on purpose, but i dont (e.g. wake up later than him?? go pee before i make coffee for us?? when i forget socks when i sleep over, and ask to borrow some of his? same w phone charger and other stuff. and he usually ends up with saying "omg its just a joke" but i can feel that it isnt. otherwise he wouldve stopped doing it). sometimes he makes jokes at my expense or is just plain rude, and when i tell him to stop, he will tell me to grow up and accept a joke, and whenever i say he makes me uncomfortable/annoyed he says "i cant take that seriously" or "thats the fun part". he is horrible at picking up after himself, and will get annoyed with me if i do it for him (i cant stand mess, and he knows this.) he wont do the dishes for days on end in HIS OWN apartment, so whenever i come to visit, i usually end up doing them, cause i cant stand mess. and he ALWAYS comes out when theres like 1 spoon left and is like 'oh gosh nooo sweety, you shouldn't have done all that.. awww.. nooo, now i feel bad.. *hug, kiss* oh well' and then go back to laying on the couch).......

ofc he also has good sides, but now that i've mentioned all the crap i have a hard fucking time remembering it. but i know that he does. he gives good hugs, he can give great advice, he usually doesnt judge the stupid things i do. he knows my quirks and he likes cooking me food. he hates rubbing my back, and will get annoyed if i ask him, but he is good at it. he has nice eyes and a cute smile. he knows a lot about the things im interested in (but usually shows off his knowledge in a know-it-all kinda way). hes creative and has good music taste

ugh, i am so sorry for this long ass rant, but i just needed to get this off my chest... if anyone actually read all this, and has some advice or... anything... feel free to send a message or a reply or something idk

i feel horrible

[davekat-sucks]

okay so like is it just me or do all versions of canon meenkat suck?

In homestuck the ship is very iffy due to the age gap [and the fact that meenah just got out of a predatory relationship with (vriska)]

But is hs^2 it's somehow worse???? First of all karkat is like 39 I think, AND MEENAH IS STILL 19!! Like holy shit thats an even bigger age gap then in hs. It's made even worse by the patreon posts and that I feel like ppl in this fandom think it's okay to ship now cuz "karkat is an adult now!!" while completely forgetting the age of meenah?

The only that this ship could work is if meenah was brought back to life at the same time karkat was around her age, but the hs^2 writers couldnt do that for some reason.

I don't think she is still 19 by the time Meenah and Karkat met in Epilogues. Some years have passed since it shown that Harry and Tavros Crocker were around before the reunion. With Tavros Crocker described being so short that he couldn't reach the doorknob. And later it is said that 10 years had gone by since John had talked with Terezi. So by then, Harry and Tavros would be teens by that point. At best, we can assume that Harry and Tavros were 5 years old by the time we were first shown them, since in HSBC, they are 15 years old. So likely somewhere within the extra 5 years before HSBC official starts, Karkat and Meenah met and then spent time together during it to prepare their war against Jane. At best, she would be 20-24 during Epilogues, with 24 being the best estimate of her age by Beyond Canon. Of course, Karkat was 20 years old by the end of the webcomic, so add in 15 years since we got Omega Kids, he would be 35 years old. So yes, the age gap is still present and doesn't help that the team confirmed that the did indeed fucked. And I guess the reason why nobody addresses Karkat being the pedophile now is either: A. Karkat will fuck Dave later on, so his one fling with Meenah won't matter because he will be GAY. Homosexuality erases pedophilia allegations, don't you know? Why else people excused Meenah x Vriska being a thing years back too? It's not because all the characters are fictional and people could ship whatever they wanted or the fandom wanted more lesbians after Rosemary had been canon. B. People think Meenah, a fuchsiablood in power, was bad because hemospectrum. But because Karkat is older than her despite being mutantblood, he has better authority over the person who would have became Sea Hitler in an alternate timeline. C. They assume that now that they are adults, even with the similar big age gap, they are at least consenting adults. So that's why they are fine with a 24 year old fucking with a 35 year old bastard. Whichever the reason is, by the end of Beyond Canon, the age gap thing will never be addressed by any of the main cast, Davekat will happen, and the shitty sequel ends on a disgusting brown note. James Roach and HICU will never address how old Karkat and Meenah are and just make people assume they are the same age because they are now both drawn like adults, so you don't have to worry about their teen sprites doing adult things despite they would still be adults in the sequel and they had only kept the teen sprite looks for stupid familiarity bullshit. Because god forbid if we make eyeless adults for both humans and trolls despite that The Condesce (an adult troll herself) was shown having eyes or at least, eyewear, to make them still stand out and recognizable.

[indescribeable]

Can you write Sam comforting Mika when depressed?

Ok so I have very much so been slacking I know and I'm sorry I just really haven't had any motivation to write anything but I got pinged with this ask today and even though I have like 3 or four other asks in my inbox I decided to try this one (don't worry those who asked me for other scenarios I will get around to doing them eventually I promise but for now here you go I hope you enjoy. TW mentions depression it's not heavy but it is there. Sorry, it's so short but I hope you like it anon <3

It's okay not to be okay.

Title from kdrama of the same name.

Depression unfortunately is never black and white, it takes on many different forms and is often a rollercoaster, never simple, never easy. There may be millions of articles and studies on the subject but no definitive answer or cure. You lose the motivation to do even basic tasks. Mika had experienced what felt like all ends of the spectrum when it came to depression, she had been in some deep and truly dark places throughout her life and managed to get back out somehow but never fully escaped them. It had been quite some time since she had an episode like that, which made her feel worse. She was upset with herself for falling back in, Currently, she was lying in her comfort clothing, baggy grey sweatpants and a hoodie drowning herself in her bed covers staring aimlessly out the large windows leading to the balcony of her room. Rain battered the windows, the room cast in a dark grey shadow fitting for her current mood and state. She had been there for days now barely moving, barely eating and it was safe to say the boys were getting concerned.

They were doing all they could think of to try to make her feel better, James had turned to researching Mika's symptoms trying to figure out what was going on though to his dismay as depression was such a wide and intricate subject he couldn't find what he was looking for, sure there were multiple things you could try but at the end of the day there was no definitive cure and for a lot of the suggested things to work the person dealing with it has to be willing to try like therapy for example sure it would probably help her alot but unless she was willing to try it he couldnt do anything as forcing her into it wouldn’t benefit anybody , Erik tried to help Mika relax through things like playing relaxing piano music, tried helping her through her dreams (with permission of course) but still couldn't make any progress, Matthew made her favourite foods and sweets, tried to get her to play video games with him, he made her a plethora of stuffed animals even simon tabby was trying his best so much so he was behaving for once staying with her snuggled up to try and provide what comfort he could, Damien was there to listen, to talk, it hurt being able to hear all the dark things she was thinking about herself and he tried his best to reassure her but if she didnt believe it herself then not much would come of it. 

Sam on the other hand hadn’t come to see her, it's not that he didn't want to but he was never really good with human emotions, never great at providing comfort, never good with his words. It was eating away at him that she wasn't ok, that he couldn't figure out what the hell he was supposed to do. She had already been through so much with Malix and Diana, her parents and even that jackass Andrew, it angered him to no end that even though those events had long since passed that they all still managed to affect her life. The few days she had been cooped up in her room she hadn't eaten and wasnt taking care of herself, the boys were running out of ideas and had a meeting around half an hour ago the conclusion being to get Sam to go check on her even with his objection, not because he didn't want to but because he didn't know what to do, didn't want to make it worse so he had been pacing outside her door for the last 20 minutes, luckily she couldn't hear his pacing due to the storm outside.

His pacing only came to a halt when he heard sniffles coming from her room. She had been silent as a mouse for the past few days but she had finally broken. The choked sobs and sniffles broke his heart, knowing he couldn't just leave her like that he finally worked up the courage to go inside. Slowly raising his hand he gently knocked on her door.

“Hey, doofus it's me……..can I come in?” 

As soon as he spoke the sobbing stopped and after a few moments he heard a feint “okay” come from the other side of the door, it took him a second to register what she had said as it was so quiet but as soon as he did he gently opened the door stepping inside the room shutting the door behind him. He stood there for a few moments not really sure what to do, she hadn't moved and they both just sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Not being able to take it anymore Sam made his way over to the side of the bed Mika was currently lying on sitting on the edge staring out the windows with her. Again silence fell over the two but it felt less awkward they stayed like that for a while before Sam spoke up turning to face her as he did.

“Doofus look at me” 

It took her a few moments but eventually, she gave in looking up at him. Her eyes were all red, puffy and swollen and she had a permanent frown etched onto her face. Sam's expression softened before he reached over petting her hair as he spoke.

“Look doofus, im not really good at this kind of stuff and I have no idea what you're going through, I know I haven't come to see you before now but I just didn’t know what to do and I didn't want to make it worse for you but I want you to know that im here for you I don't know if that's reassuring or comforting for you but it's all I've got, I’m not like Damien I cant easily figure out what going on in that head of yours but I can say with 100% certainty that nothing is your fault and its ok to let yourself feel sad or angry heck if needed you can come take your anger out on me for all I care I wouldn't doubt that I deserve it but you can't do that if you don’t take care of yourself. Like I said I don’t know what you're going through and I can tell it's hard for you but you do deserve to be happy Mika, you have done so much for me and my brothers not that we really deserve it with the shit storm we've ended up bringing into your life but were all really worried about you……….. I’m really worried about you.” 

Silent tears began flooding from Mika's eyes as she stared into his concerned green ones.

“Im really sorry Sam, all I ever seem to do is worry you guys, I don’t want to feel this way but I can't help it, I feel like im just being dragged further and further into the darkness with no way out and…. I didn’t want to drag you guys down with me.” 

Sam's frown deepened as he gently picked up one of Mika's hands capturing it with both of his larger ones letting out a large sigh before responding. 

“Doofus you are always thinking of everyone else before yourself, don’t worry about us all we want is for you to get better no matter how long it takes, no matter what it takes you should be worrying about yourself, not us.” 

She let out a huffed laugh before responding “You should take your own advice too ya know.” Sam let out a light chuckle at that. 

“You may be right but don't change the subject this is about you, not me, I know that whatever any of us say isn't going to make you instantly better but I wasn't lying im here to talk to whenever you need even if you just need to rant as someone listens.”

“The thing is I don’t have anything to say, I can’t even figure out what's wrong with me all I know is I feel really heavy, I don't have the energy to do anything it’s like I have this huge hole where my hearts supposed to be, my mind won't shut up and I can't help but believe everything it’s telling me I don’t want to but I can't help it.” As she continued to speak rogue tears began to stream down her cheeks. “I know that what im thinking isn't true but I can't let myself believe that no matter how hard I try, I’m so sick and tired of fighting with myself, of being exhausted all the damn time, I can't even do something as basic as fucking taking care of myself!” At this point she was sobbing and shaking as she spoke, Sam could feel the rage coming off her though it was only for a short moment as quickly as it arrived it was replaced with sadness. Before he could even register what he was doing Sam had pulled her upright wrapping her in a tight hug, as she buried her face in his shoulder he buried his nose in her hair squeezing as tight as he could while still giving her enough room to breathe. He didn't know much about this kind of thing but he did know that applying enough pressure could help relax her. 

After what felt like an eternity of tears Mika finally ran out and they simply sat there in silence neither of them willing to move out of the embrace. 

“You don’t have to bottle it all up Doofus, take it from me keeping it all to yourself doesn't help anyone and there's no shame in asking for help.” 

After a few moments, she pulled back lifting her head with a small yet truly genuine smile on her face flooding Sam with relief the wave so powerful it almost knocked him down.

She reached up with her small shaking hand gently cupping his cheek before responding “Thank you, Sammy, I really don't know what I would do without you. I can’t promise you anything but im gonna try and you're not as bad at this as you think you are ya know.” 

He couldn't help his cheeks flushing at the nickname and her words but still, he offered her a kind and relieved smile before pulling her into another bear hug. 

“That's all we could ever ask of you, doofus and thank you I don't agree with you on that last bit but thank you.” 

She chuckled in response “It doesn't matter if you don't agree with me it's still true.”

After a few moments of companionable silence, Mika spoke up again raising her head to meet his eyes blushing before speaking. 

“Will you stay with me? I really don’t want to be alone right now.” 

Sam responded with a blush of his own covering his cheeks nodding “Sure doofus.” 

Sam gently released her from his arms letting her settle back down onto the bed before laying next to her facing her and pulling her tight to his chest nuzzling the top of her head with his nose. As both of their eyelids began to feel heavy a thought popped into his head.

“Hey doofus you still haven't eaten anything yet.”

Mika responded quietly slightly slurring her words as she was quickly falling asleep. 

“I’ll eat when we wake up.” Sam let out a soft chuckle before responding.

“You better or I'll throw you over my shoulder and bring you down to the kitchen myself.” 

She let out a light sleepy chuckle in response tickling his chest with her breath.

“I promise I will, as long as you make breakfast.” 

“Are you sure you want that doofus, there's a reason why Matthew and James do all the cooking you know.” 

She chuckled again before responding. “I don’t care im only gonna eat it if you make it.” 

She could feel him smile against the top of her head the feeling giving her a sense of warmth she hadn't felt for days.

“Fine doofus ill make breakfast but even if it tastes like shit your still eating it.” 

“Haha, as long as you're making it I’ll eat it.” 

Finally, they both drifted off into a peaceful sleep in each other's arms the sound of heavy rain fading away as the sky outside cleared and the sun began to set filling the room with an orange glow before fading into comforting darkness. 

[juscallmemise]

Mental Health Matters (shirt by Hamp)

Letter to my younger self

Hey little black girl..Naw scratch that..Hey little black Queen because thats what you are even if you don’t know it yet. Its so much i want to say to you we’ve been through soooo much nd what i wouldn’t give to know what i know now looking back at myself. One thing i want to help you understand is that you are enough no matter what people say. I know mommy always told us that words can’t hurt us but the trust is they may not hurt the outside but they do a bang up job on the heart nd thats ok we get through it. If you ask me its the silences nd the numbness that hurts worse, see with words they may hurt your feelings nd sometimes tear your heart but you can heal a broken heart its the silences you cant make since of. I know your young nd theres a lot you dont understand well let me tell you even when you make it to be my age there will still be things that will put your brain in knots, just know baby girl you are your own worst enemy. Don’t get trapped so far in your feelings that you drown cause i’ve made so many mistakes that could have cost us our life. Its gets dark in my thoughts nd sometimes tears nd words dont get it all out nd i felt i couldnt talk any more because i didnt think anyone would understand nd the first time it felt so good it warmed the places that were the coldest nd after i always felt like all the pain was out. It all started with a dark room and pair of scissors that cut through my jeans i never meant to hurt us, i just needed to feel something that would end the numb feeling i was feeling at the time. No one ever noticed the scars until one of your boyfriends felt them in the middle of the night while you were sleeping nd asked you the next morning believing that they were marks left there by another man. After a couple more times of cutting ourself we started writing nd keeping a dump Journal where we say whatever it is we felt throughout the day. The days seemed to get better but the nights still felt ice cold nd you would lay in a bed with a man that you couldnt even look at because in his mind you weren’t nothing but a women that would take whatever it was he throw your way nd the truth is you did you let him think you were weak nd that you couldnt live without him but he must have forgot that i am a child of God nd a very strong believer that whatever God puts you in he can take you out of...pain don’t last forever baby girl nd we are safely working on ourself.

Sincerely,

This is Mise

Support my little cousin and raise awareness for mental health https://forms.gle/X1brXuiSL8S4eYcM7

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey friend!! i'm just kinda here to rant but i'd LOVE some advice if you have any.

i live in the us, and my parents are trump supporters. i just got into an arguement with my dad, and im currently crying while writing this so sorry if there's any typos, and no matter how much i try to explain that MY LIFE would be in danger, its like he doesn't care?? or doesn't think i should be "worried" about it. but i fucking am. he's a priveledged white man who literally has no fucking clue, and i'm fucking terrified of this upcoming election. like he doesn't fucking get it, and any time i try a different avenue, he focuses on the "well actually it's not one man who writes laws now is it" LIKE THATS NOT THE FUCKING POINT.

i'm so tired of it. i'm tired of hearing him say he loves me while actively supporting a man who would take away my rights. i'm his DAUGHTER and he's gambling with my life because he thinks "nothing bad will happen to me". but it could. i've grown up my entire life being taught how to be safe and "don't go to gas stations at night" "check the back of your car" yk things that women are told from a young age to literally survive. it's not a fucking joke. and the fact that he wants to entertain the possibility of "it won't happen to you" until it does happen. and then what's he gonna fucking do.

also he doesn't thing climate change is real because "the climate always changes" and he's pro-is not real (dw not asking for any advice on that just kinda sharing his viewpoints) and i'm just fucking baffled that he can look at me and still think that he's on the right side. it kills me and i hate it. i couldn't even bring myself to make one passive aggressive comment to him before he went to bed because i would feel bad. I COULDNT EVEN DO THAT.

and what's worse is when i just talk to my mom, it's like she's there. she hears what i'm talking about, and idk if she believes it necesssarily (climate change) but she understands and i feel like im close to getting her to SEE it. and then my fucking dad comes in and starts talking about the economy and all these technical terms that i don't fucking understand so i can't even argue against it, and pulls her back in. like at this point i don't fucking care about the economy or fucking taxes. i want my RIGHTS to be fucking secured. this isn't just an election on who's gonna run the economy or whatever the fuck better, it's literally the difference between women having rights. and they don't fucking see that and i'm TIRED.

i'm tired and i'm upset and i shouldn't keep having arguement with him but i can't stop trying to fight for myself, in the event that SOMEHOW they actually consider me as a person.

anyway i'm sorry if any of this makes u uncomfortable

Hi!

Honestly I think these types of conversations are hard because with some people, no matter how hard you try, they're not actually willing to listen. So you just get annoyed and you feel unheard and invalidated and it makes things worse.

I guess my question is- is your dad one of those people? And if so, in the most loving and gentle way, are you wasting your time by trying to talk to him about this? It's really difficult to have to accept that, but maybe you need to focus on your mom right now, because she seems willing to listen and learn.

Sending love!

[loafbud]

loaf, you just instantly eased my nerves as a 20 year old that feels like he's living too slowly (or rather, being pressured into living quickly)

i have so much more time and its all so much less pressing than I make it out to be, just reading what you've said

thank you 💚

Aaa I’m happy to hear that!! 😭

After graduating highschool at 18, I was not interested in college, so I just spent all of my early 20s floating around at home with my parents (I have older siblings that still live with us, with one being 30). I wasn’t even interested in temporarily getting any 9-to-5 job either– I’d always say “if it has nothing to do with what I love, I dont want it!”

I mostly spent my early 20s as a sedentary shut-in, online 24/7, aimlessly drawing, making music, daydreaming, brainstorming on passion projects… Even many years before lockdown happened, I was always inside (except for the times years back when i left the house to tag along on the few store trips & would join family visits/family vacations).

My head would sometimes do this annoying thing where I’d go “What am I doing wrong? What could I have done differently earlier in life that’d put me in a better living position (financial stability, etc)?”

Even now, I catch myself saying the same shit in my head about “progressing life at a slower pace than ‘what’s expected’ of me”. A part of me is almost thankful in a way that I still havent started a job and stuff yet, because I also spent my early 20s figuring MYSELF out— learning about my triggers, me & my family becoming more aware of my mental health (even if those nights were ugly), inprovement in my mindset/the way I approach problems compared to many years ago, etc… Like I couldnt IMAGINE being 23 and having an unchecked meltdown during a job with the way my mind was at the time!!

But yeah… I know I’ve seen a few people online my age or in their early 20s who say they’d still live with their parents, never had a job, never had a steady source of income, never went to college, never dated/married, never owned a car/learned how to drive, and would beat themselves up over it. I think we’re all still figuring ourselves out: no one is less than just because they never had this or that experience yet! There’s nothing worse than comparing our progress to others and using that as a way to defeat ourselves…

[terraliensvent]

Not a vent’ asking a question. Out of genuine curiosity do you actually like Terraliens as a species? A majority of CS vent blogs seemingly want the species to die or fail as an end result.

Isn’t the whole point of vent blogs to give people a space to actively point out problems to make the community better as a whole. Reblog to make it die faster or run out of the community feels conflicting to what the blog is actually supposed to achieve. Do you want it to get better? It seems like you do. Or are you actually hoping it gets worse to increase engagement.

So general question would be do you hate Terraliens? What’s the end goal for you? 🤔

this is a loaded question for me at the moment haha

personally, ive been in terras since april 2023, so basically since the start. ive seen every controversy pretty much first hand, was an avid reader of the terra blogs previous to mine, and terras was the first species i put my whole heart in and tried to interact with the community in. initially i really wanted the species to get better, when they had the suggestion threads i was an avid poster

then over and over again mods just kept failing in the simplest of ways. this blog was made february of 2024, a few months after the first psa and ownership change. i still thought terras could be good but there were just too many blockers, esp from coy and civ after learning some behind the scenes info from the psa

then the Reckoning came and i hoped it really would go down, if only that meant making the species totally open

when tycho became owner i really was hopeful considering the facts that previous mods completely disavowed vent blogs like mine, but shortly before he became owner tycho reached out to ask my thoughts on stuff around the species (you can see that in my post about The Reckoning), when the species fell in his lap i honestly thought there was going to be big change. for a while there was, like new assets in the item channels, feedback forms, etc. but then there were also the nagging issues that never went away from before, like hiring friends for staff, weird unspoken rules, and a horrible approval process

for the past few days ive been thinking, man this really doesnt seem like its worth it. the same issues are starting to pop up again, and the mods currently just twist and turn making up their justifications for moving the goalpost. i dont like a lot of the new designs, dont really have any myos i want to make, and im not pulled in by the new events.

my end goal initially when making this blog was that i wanted terras to get better and make the easy changes everyone wanted, but now i think the better course of action would be for it to die. make it an open species and just let people run with it, because over the 2 and a half years of this species there has never once been such an attitude of unity and happiness among terra community than on that one night in april where the species WAS open.

honestly? im days away from voiding all my terras and fucking all the way off (ill still stay in the server though, i couldnt imagine anyone else running this blog and i think its become a necessary place for everyone. i imagine there would be at least some outcry if i were to shut it down, lol). once i finish my current obligations, im trading all my shit. its exhausting to have been doing this back and forth for improvement for over 2 years now, and its just so much more effort than its worth when i could be putting my whole heart into other up-and-coming projects. it hurts when a thing you really loved and found happiness in just has too many glaring issues to ignore

i think its a bad look when most of your oldest members who have been there since near day 1 decide this shit isnt worth it anymore and want to be done with it. its a bad look when someone who cared so much to make full essays about this species on an entire blog dedicated to it decides that its just not worth trying to "fix" anymore.

and i kind of hope a lot of other members come to that same conclusion and cause it to die.