#that happened years ago

[chipper-smol]

realized i accidentally deleted one of my favorite pictures of me of all time so i had to artistically recreate it

[ninakaina]

i was thinking about this today so how long has YOUR JOB existed- not how long your industry has existed, but how long someone has been doing the work you do as a trade notwithstanding changes in terminology and technology. no unemployed option cuz i cant add more answers sorry... tell me about it in the tags

[pangur-and-grim]

look at that transformation! well done, Belphie, you’ve defeated death!

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

...I got fiddlestan brainworms

hehehe funny spongebob reference

[firefox-unofficial]

oh tumblr trust and safety i’ll do what you say if you bring me home

[datcravat]

Ace Attorney Investigations Collection X Among Us Collaboration promotional artwork by Datcravat (me haha)

[clownowo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[may12324]

Eadaz and her queen

[hrokkall]

Totality

[varggarn]

I played Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky for the first time a little while ago and was reminded of how very wholesome the PMD series is. So here are some completely self-indulgent drawings of my rescue team. Shout-out to anyone else that has played the game with this specific combo!

edit: and here is my Red Rescue Team

[piratespencil]

This is so funny to me. Reducing them down to their simplest attributes. Turning them into symbols.

[witchstone]

when the light does the thing that makes you feel like you were here 20 000 years ago

[probablybadrpgideas]

Red Flags In A DM

Their copy of the Dungeon Master's Guide is blatantly a copy of Guide To American Birdspotting with a crude drawing of an orc over the red-bellied finch

Instead of "Yes, anding" your suggestions, they "No, get out of my housing" them.

They insist they have a "secret missive from wizards of the coast" with the "real rules of D&D" that you can't see but oddly always aligns with their plot.

The above, even when you're not playing D&D

Their minis are clearly just random animals they've put on the game map. One's a deer.

You give your action, and they just stare, unblinking, faintly smiling. They don't respond to anything you say.

You abruptly realize you've never seen this person before

When you turn to ask other members of the game group what's going on, the room is empty.

On social media you find no trace of your game group. None of your friends remember ever meeting anyone of that description.

However, investigation finds their names and descriptions match the victims of an unsolved murder from 30 years ago.

You find photos of the victims, and it's them. Oh god, it's definitely them.

The murder took place during a D&D session

The GM was never found, but there's a photo.

You recognize them. Of course you recognize them.

As you realize this, you turn to run, but your GM is behind you. You didn't hear them enter. You're not sure how they did.

They still don't speak, but their smile is broader

You try to run, but you find you're frozen. The GM takes something out their bag.

It's their terrible homebrew with a bunch of awful rules that's completely focused around their self-insert mary sue DMNPC and they refuse to play anything else for the rest of the campaign.

[kazieka]

i think the sexiest sexyman thing that Cecil Gershwin Palmer ever did was when a religious extremist tried to evangelize on his community radio program so Cecil asked “hey what’s your favorite kind of weather” and played the weather over the rest of his statement

[poirott]

Sir David Suchet on the gifts he received from Agatha Christie's Poirot tv series → Capital Theatres interview, January 12 2024

"I know how fortunate I am to have had the opportunity to play such an astonishing character over all these years, and to see him blossom so dramatically around me, to see his exploits dubbed into more than fifty languages and broadcast in almost every country in the world. It is amazing, humbling, and the greatest present that I could ever have been given." - David Suchet, Poirot and Me