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[im going to preface this post by stating i am extremely dissociated in this moment and therefore may not be as clear as i would like to be]

im so tired of having to be ok. im in pain and its ok if that sucks. just because its not something new doesnt mean its not taking up mental energy. im dizzy the vast majority of the time and cannot stand without falling, and its ok if thats frustrating. i should not have to put a positive spin on my disability for abled people to be comfortable with me talking about it. i do not have to be ok with my chronic pain, even if its a low pain day. idk im just so tired of pretending like its comfortable to exist in this shitty body.

[this post is about physical disabilities, do not derail]

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Ya know what makes me angry about being autistic and physically disabled? They make each other worse. I had a meltdown yesterday because of a lot of reasons but a large contributor was the pain from my arm and head overstimulating me. And nooooowwww..... I'm in a FLAREUP. I gave myself a FLAREUP by HAVING A MELTDOWN! My neck is messed up and my legs to. I hate this body.

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I don't think you understand, when I say my [insert body part(s) here] hurts I don't mean like it's a little achy or sore or stiff, even though it's valid and enough to feel that way as well. But what I mean is it feels like a fucking injury. I mean it feels like there is something wrong with me that I need to go get checked out by a professional. Only I know that isn't the case and it's just my condition. That's what I mean when I say it hurts.

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Hi. When I use my cane to assist me in something besides walking/standing please don't assume I will be "doing a trick" with it. I take pride and joy in how fucking boring and mundane I choose to make myself to you (abled people), I'm never going to be your entertainment. Stop assuming we exist to make you smile and clap like we're fucking animals at a zoo instead of people in pain. You want interesting? Ask me about tarantulas. The sheer number of instruments I play. Kanien'kehá:ka. My opinions on Frankenstein. My OUtFiT. There are way funner things about me than the stick I'm walking with because my body hurts all over all of the time.

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been trying to figure out how to word this but my brain isn't good. but uh. seeing accessibility products advertised as being "for seniors" fucking sucks. it feels like it just reinforces that "you're too young" bullshit. "this isn't for you, it's for the people that need it. the people it's made for." fuck off with that before i hit you with my damn cane lmfao.

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I sort of hate how people with disabilities are always expected to be an “inspiration” and in good humour about their disability. We must conform to this idea, hide the worst of our symptoms to make others more comfortable. They are disgusted by our rage. Shout out to disabled people who don’t want to be an inspiration, who are pissed off and sad.

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How can chronic pain patients be “addicted to pain meds?” That’s like telling someone with a prosthetic that they’re addicted to their prosthetic. Or a cardio patient that they’re addicted to their pacemaker. Or a diabetic that they’re addicted to insulin. What is the thought process here?

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Crip and Cripple are different words

So this might be opening up a CAN OF WORMS but as a physically disabled person I just wanna throw out a clarification that I personally think is useful to have explicitly articulated. These two words are DIFFERENT:

Crip: a reference to crip theory and its friends. Refers to ALL disabilities (not just mobility/physical). Similar to queer, it's a way of seeing the world: disability is socially constructed, fuck eugenics, fuck capitalism, fuck colonialism, being disabled means you HAVE to be creative to navigate a world not built for you, disabled people are the OG makers/hackers, and so on. "Crip" is used as a verb to apply to this way of seeing the world to analyse different facets of society (e.g. cripping the arts, crip technoscience). Seen in academic terms like cripistemology and eco-crip theory but also nonacademic contexts like krip-hop and crip time.

Cripple: refers to physically disabled people ONLY. Seen in terms like cripplepunk, which is exclusive to physical disabilities. (Punks with other disabilities are encouraged to use other terms like dyspunktional.)

Yes, "crip" was coined as a shortening of "cripple". Yes, they are both reclamations of the same slur. But I think it is productive for us to understand these two words as distinct, and to be mindful of the difference.

Crip at this point has a very well established usage that is pan-disability, while at the same time we physically disabled we need space to talk about cripple-specific stuff.

I hope this clarification is helpful! I know the two words sound similar and share a root but I think it's a nuance that matters. <3

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Shoutout to cripples who do stuff even though they're not meant to like drinking caffine. Yes it messes with my body but i want a cup of tea and i want it strong. Shoutout to cripples who aren't always perfect and compliant in their treatment

And don't you dare shame cripples who do stuff that's bad for them if you don't shame ableds for drinking alcohol or eating junk food because we all do stuff that isn't good for us and being a cripple doesn't mean we have to be perfect. We can be angry and reckless

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like look ive adored and immensely related to viktor since day 1 but ive also spent years extremely unsure of where they were going with him in terms of disabled representation and thinking they were just going to keep torturing and punishing him for the crime of not wanting to die before his time having lead an unfulfilling life. then season 2 started rolling out and they ramped it all up and he kept dying and being resurrected against his will and we couldnt tell if he was being mind controlled or if he was even In There Anymore or anything and i seriously lost hope for a satisfying ending for a while. my whole opinion of his arc was hinging on these last 3 episodes and

what the hell do you mean this actually Landed as the most profound and home hitting narrative about internalised ableism ive ever experienced. that he Hated Himself and didnt believe he deserved or would ever recieve love and his obsession with overcompensating and proving he was worth anything spiralled until he nearly destroyed the whole world but he was brought back down to earth and Saved by being told he was is and always will be loved unconditionally. that his flaws are beautiful. All of him was held and adored fiercely until the end. like are you fucking kidding me. they actually did make him For Us ♿

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I made up a way to explain fatigue!

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tumblr is great bc I feel a little less alone in my experiences as a disabled person

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Pssst... something new is coming...

...this weekend!

Free, non-AI animal art references.

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“i would follow you anywhere” subtle what doesn’t break reference for the end of the world?

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Happy Thursday from the gals✨

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Ta-da! You like it?

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Laudna and Imogen talk

They still want their cozy cottage at the end of this