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wearysparrows · 2 months ago

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I (Almost) Shot You Down

Summary: A chance encounter with Sylus snowballs something much larger, and you're pushed even deeper into the depths of his world -- whether you like it or not.

Chapter 1: A pillar of Salt

After being forced on leave from the Hunter's Association, you try to find respite outside of the safety of your apartment. By chance, you see Sylus engaged with someone else. You nearly take his head for it -- but he gets his way, in the end.

CW (18+): Sylus/reader, no use of ' Y/N,' Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Guns, MC is chronically depressed and exhausted, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Not Beta Read, Explicit Sexual Content, Blood and Violence, Drug Use, Gambling, Reader is MC, AFAB reader is implied but no pronouns are used

A/N: This is my long, ongoing work that is still being updated. There are many more chapters up on ao3, and I'm working on getting them to tumblr. They're also being edited and improved from their original postings, so if you've read it before, there may be some changes as I upload!

You had finally begrudgingly accepted a few days off from your work with the Hunter’s Association, at the behest of your primary care physician (citing your declining physical health), your boss (citing your declining work performance), and your work partner (citing your declining mental health). The aforementioned meddlers had teamed up in an effort to finally tear you away from hunting, and would not allow you to return, despite your valiant attempts at protest. Work was your escape – from yourself, from the reality of your life, from your relationships – and everything in between. Hunting never changed, and you only got better at it.

Your blatant disregard for yourself had failed to continue to go unnoticed by those who cared about you, though. Now, here you were, sitting in your empty apartment with only the all encompassing silence to keep you company. Left alone with your thoughts. Again. You hadn’t bothered to kick the lights on. Only the sound of the heater clicking filled the otherwise empty air around you. Your mind went where it always did, then. That day. No bodies were ever recovered. You didn’t even have something to bury. Caleb’s dog tags had found their way into your hands at some point, and you gazed at them listlessly in your palm. You could still feel the heat from the residual fires of the explosion radiating off of the metal. The warmth of his hand in yours. It was all you had left to prove he ever really existed.

You desperately needed to get out of the house. Anything was better than being here, and perhaps you would accidentally run into some wanderers while the ghost of you made its way about Linkon city. Throwing yourself at hordes of wanderers was the only coping mechanism that had shown any signs of taking your mind off of things. Sort of. With this scheme in mind, you quickly dressed yourself in your usual, strapping your gun to your thigh, concealing its comforting weight under your coat. It wasn’t like you were on forced bedrest, so a walk wouldn’t hurt, right? You stashed Caleb’s tags in your nightstand drawer, returning them to their safe place. You imagined that someday, they’d burn a hole in that wood, and you’d come back to nothing at all.

You left your apartment with no particular aim in mind, being sure to lock the door behind you. The biometric lock shifted into place with a soft whirr behind you. You may have been utterly exhausted, but you were never complacent. The weather outside wasn’t ideal for a walk, and the wind buffeted your hair about your face, and bit at your skin, as if you were offending it with your mere presence outside. Your eyes watered, protesting the assaults by the air. You opted to ignore these sensations, and continued to walk in what you thought was the direction of the nearby shopping district. Your appetite had long since left you – months ago now – but you knew you could find a small measure of pleasure in a cup of coffee on a day like today.

After many twists and turns, your weary feet led you to an area you weren’t wholly familiar with. Maybe it was new? This was more upscale than your usual, you realized – your Hunter’s salary was decent enough, but definitely not this decent. Cobblestone that looked suspiciously new made the click of your boot-heels echo loudly off of your surroundings. You scrutinized the buildings before you, searching for somewhere that your presence would not offend, where you could also acquire what you were after. Everything was just a touch too upscale, too unwelcoming. All of the storefronts blurred into one image, one place where you weren’t welcomed. You chased thoughts from that same morning out of your mind that threatened to break through as you were forced into a moment of mental silence, and the still of the air and the lack of bustle kept returning you to reality. The last place you wanted to be.

After a time of aimless searching, you spied a place that looked acceptable. It was smaller than the other establishments, tucked away conservatively into an alley, lit by warm sconces along either side. Unlike the other buildings, it was painted in a warm, sandy beige. You couldn't tell much else about it from the outside, other than that the interior was dimly lit. The imagery of the cup of coffee on the signage was enough to guide your way. You pulled open the heavy glass door, and half expected it to be partially empty on the inside, but you had no such luck. It was bustling, but warm as a result, and you realized how cold you had been before you had stepped in. The change in temperature almost immediately made you feel too hot in your coat.

The patronage was definitely outside of your tax bracket. The patronage was clad in an array of expensive looking furs and fabrics, all speaking to each other in the lowest of dulcet tones. You felt their eyes on you, but disregarded them. It wasn’t as if you weren’t allowed to be here, regardless of how out of place you may have looked. Which, you thought, wasn’t that much. You might not have been born into high snob-society, but you took good care of your looks. Your fingers were still moving slowly in protest to the inclement weather as you fished your wallet from your coat pocket, stepping towards the counter with the intention to order. You hardly glanced at the menu. You didn’t even have a drink in mind. Just something as a distraction. Liquid, hot enough to burn your tongue. A sensation to chase the thoughts away.

This course of action was quickly interrupted, however. In your periphery, you caught a glimpse of a shock of white hair on someone who seemed to tower over the rest of the people in the room, even while sitting. Clad in blacks and velvet reds, he both fit in perfectly and stood out starkly all at once. He was talking to someone else you couldn't see in a hushed tone.

Sylus?

Surely not. Why would he even be here, of all places? Sure, it was nice, but not places-Sylus-frequented nice. Or at least, the places you imagined he frequented. You still didn’t have a full idea of all of the things Sylus did with his free time. Short of that, what was he doing cavorting about in Linkon in public? Your eyes bored holes into the back of his head, trying to catch wind of what could have possibly brought him to a place like this. You side stepped into a corner table that allowed you to get a better look at who he was speaking with.

A woman?

This clearly wasn’t just any woman, either. A cascade of elaborately curled blonde hair fell down her back in elegant waves, and a deep red dress clung to her like a second skin, outlining her perfectly against Sylus’s dark form. A small nose, and full lips. Long, dark lashes. She was saying something to him, but you couldn’t make out the words in the den of the conversations from the other patrons. He laughed in response to her words, and leaned closer to her. She was smiling at him, covering her mouth with a delicate hand. Her other hand touched his shoulder.

Stones stacked neatly in your stomach as you watched them. You felt like a voyeur. They looked exquisite together – it was undeniable. She was even wearing the perfect color of red. It looked as if she had exsanguinated someone and dyed the dress in their blood – a perfect match for Sylus. Everything else – everyone – in the room paled in comparison. Sylus was still smiling at her, full of charm. You thought about what Zayne had said to you before forcing you to take time off.

You look like you’re two steps away from death. Take a few days off.

Well, his observation was more astute than he realized, clearly. You certainly felt that way now, in light of the spectacle that was playing out before you. Maybe only one step away. Half a step. You told yourself this was none of your business, that you should just quietly take your leave before he noticed you had ever been here. There was no reason for him to take notice of you while he was attending to his private matters. You were just passing through his life. Brushing through his fingertips. Never actually touching him in any way that mattered. Physically, mentally, spiritually.

You decided you needed to leave. Urgently. Despite telling yourself staring down the couple wasn’t bothering you because there was nothing between you and Sylus anyway and what the hell was your problem, you had begun to feel nauseated. You clutched your arm about your midsection, and hurriedly peeled yourself out of your seat. Every one of your muscles protested at the movement, reminding you that you should be at home right now. On forced bedrest, probably.

That just wasn’t in the cards. You weren’t sure you had a hand to play at all. You silently cursed the great dealer in the sky.

You made a beeline for the door, but not before you took one final glance at Sylus and his companion. Even if you were to turn into a pillar of salt for looking back, you just needed one more glimpse. To satiate your curiosity. But luck wasn’t on your side (when was it ever?), because you met Sylus’s eye as you looked, as well as those of the beautiful woman. You saw surprise pass over his features, and thought you saw his lips part as if he were going to say something. The woman peered back at you curiously. You cast your eyes away from the bewitching image before you.

You could feel all the water being sucked from each of the cells in your body, one by one. You would shrivel up on the spot, and leave behind only the base impression of yourself in the wake of your shame. Hopefully, your rotten yearning soul would be freed to roam elsewhere, far from here, in this place you didn’t belong.

Ah, take me, O salt pillar!

There were no such mercies in this life, of course. You left the cafe as quickly as your feet would allow. The glass door slammed behind you. You were running now, for reasons you couldn’t (didn’t want to) quantify. It wasn’t as if he was chasing after you, coming to explain that no, she’s just a friend, just someone I work with, don't worry. Faster you went, the need to see the comforting outline of your apartment against the sky becoming more desperate by the moment. Fortunately, the run home was certainly shorter than the walk to the cafe, and the image you so desired to see appeared before you, blessedly.

Only then did you allow yourself a moment to rest. Your lungs screamed in protest at your outburst, and you sucked in great mouthfuls of air, trying to forcibly still your rapidly beating heart. It was always betraying you in one way or another, even now. You bent over, your hands on your knees, and took a moment to collect yourself. You were grateful no one had been around to see this display, from you leaving your apartment, to running away from a damn coffee shop empty-handed. You curled a fist in your hair, willing it out of your face as you righted yourself. A few stray strands came away in your fingers. That had been happening more and more often, as of late.

The walk up the stairs was nothing else if not excruciating, and you thanked even your unluckiest stars that Xaiver didn’t seem to be home from work yet to see the unfortunate events of your life play out as they were. You stumbled into your apartment – being sure to lock the door behind you, as always.

The safety of your home did good work to soothe your nerves, a stark contrast to the horrid occurrence in the cafe. You shrugged into something more comfortable: a camisole and a pair of soft, cotton pajama shorts. This set had yet to let you down in the comfort department. Even as you changed, the events played over and over through your mind, and you burned with the embarrassment of it all. Sylus’s smile at that woman, his laughter. The way his gaze had twisted into something else entirely when he saw you. Your nausea refused to calm. Your mouth kept filling with too much saliva, over and over.

Why did you have to run away, of all things? You had left like a petulant child who was unable to cope with the sight before them, instead retreating to your small corner of safety in the world.

Wry thoughts came to you. This is what I get for taking a day off. You knew you had been wrong to do so. Your prophecy was always fulfilling itself. Take that, Dr. Zayne.

Still, you were yet unwilling to heed the siren’s call of your bed, despite the increasing intensity of its song. You flopped onto the couch instead with a sigh, the air entering and leaving your lungs easier now. You longed to be rid of the image of Sylus entangled with someone else, and decided you needed to busy your hands with something to scrub the thoughts from your mind.

As a result of not taking nearly any days off lately, you were definitely behind on the maintenance of your weapons. It technically wasn’t work. It was only related to work. You bent over from your position on the couch, and peered underneath it. Here was where your smallest gun safe lived. Perhaps not the most ideal place for it – but it wasn’t as if you had company over often, anyway. Save for Xavier, your steady and ever-reliable partner. And more recently, Sylus, who you hadn’t yet found an accurate definition for. His presence was usually accentuated by some excuse to intrude on your space.

You unlocked the safe. It was an old-school version, not biometric like the newer models. Pure, vintage analog goodness. A gift from Grandma when you had entered the Hunter’s Association. It came open with a soft, satisfying click. Only two weapons were usually inside – your Hunter’s issue handgun, old faithful. You returned it to its rightful place, now, as it had dutifully attended the cafe fiasco with you. With it was a piece that had forced itself into your possession – or rather, Sylus had forced it into your possession. You eyed the offending object, picking it up gingerly and placing it on the coffee table in front of you. It was considerably heavier than your standard issue. It had thunked onto the glass of the table, as if it were moderately offended to be there. Did even his gifts take on aspects of his personality? His influence seemed to know no bounds, so nothing would surprise you at this point. He certainly had a penchant for creating objects with personalities, if Mephisto was any measure.

This gun wasn’t the only firearm Sylus had thrust upon you. A gift, he had said. You weren’t wholly unconvinced he wasn’t using your house as his millionth-whatever-armory. You had accrued so many weapons that you had to acquire a secondary safe, the hulking mass of which sat in your bedroom forebodingly. It held all of the other “gifts” inside, tucked safely away in the darkness, waiting to be used for their dark purpose. You hid it underneath a spare sheet. The second safe was another gift from Sylus. It reminded you of him, in a way – it imposed its presence in your house: tall, cold, stark, and white. It didn’t fit here at all. And it was full of things meant to rend flesh from flesh, flesh from bone. Life from this plane into the next. You thought about the first time you met Sylus, and how he had obliterated a man from existence before your eyes with his evol. There hadn’t been so much as an ounce of recognition in his eyes for the life he had taken. The memory made your nausea threaten to return to you.

Your eyes came back into focus on the gun in front of you. You liked guns, and as much as you hated to admit it, this one was no exception. It was a beautiful article – a faithful reproduction of a vintage Colt 1911. A classic, by anyone’s measure. It was a forty-five caliber, with an eight-plus-one round capacity. The recoil of your Hunter’s association issue paled into comparison to this, and it affected your accuracy negatively. You had recently replaced its bullets – standard full metal jackets – with hollow point rounds. Higher accuracy, higher damage. You planned to test this on the next Wanderer who was unlucky enough to be at the other end of your barrel. Or the next man. Those had only recently come into your sights, as a result of your exploits – at the request of Sylus. He had never actually asked you to gun a living person down, though. You weren’t sure you were even capable of doing so. Or if he would ask.

The wood grip was custom engraved with your name, and encrusted with jewels, courtesy of him. Naturally. The body was scrubbed of any serial number. Naturally.

Ugh.

You placed it on your knees, with the intention to take it apart to clean and maintain it. You intended to add a suppressor, which you had purchased with your own money. Not a gift from Sylus. Small victories.

Just as you began to take the weapon apart, you caught a sound. There was a sort of shuffling at your door, as if someone were standing behind it. The hair on the back of your neck stood up, prickling. Your intuition told you that whatever was behind it was something to be feared. You loaded the spare magazine of hollow points into the piece with a soft click. You flicked the safety off. Your hands had already begun to sweat.

You pointed the gun at the door. It was too heavy in your hands.

Whoever was behind the door was making quick work of the lock, despite it necessitating your biometric data to unlatch.

What if it was the same people who had taken the lives of Caleb and Gran? Had they finally had enough of this game of cat and mouse, and come for you?

You held your breath to steady yourself. The extension of Sylus’s violence wavered back and forth in your grip. The door came open at a painfully slow pace, and a large figure in black slipped through. You cocked back the hammer, which had previously given you difficulty. Now adrenaline bolstered even the strength in your fingertips, any previous weakness forgotten. The figure turned, closing the door behind him. Upon seeing you on your makeshift gunner’s perch on the back of the couch, he raised his hands in surrender, showing you the calloused tan of his palms. One of his hands was nearly the size of your head.

“Sylus?”

His eyebrows had initially shot up in surprise at your current posture, but he quickly relaxed his face into that of his usual mask of easy confidence. You hated that about him, his composure. You adored it, too. He couldn’t even bother to look afraid at the end of a gun. The gun he gave you. You exhaled the breath you had been holding through your nose.

“Expecting someone else?”

He sounded pleased, of all things. You suddenly felt very exposed, in nothing but your camisole and shorts. Despite the gun in your hands, it was as if you were at the other end of his. Your head felt hot. Your forearms began to protest at the weight of the weapon. You blinked new wetness into dry eyes.

“Why the fuck are you breaking into my house?”

You didn’t lower the gun. You didn’t want to. It wasn’t as if it was the first time you two had ended up like this. You, trying to kill him. Him, accepting your choice. Probably not the last, either. You were angry with him – not for breaking in, no. Not for his casual nonchalance in the face of death (could he even die?), not for his disregard for your poweress as an opponent. But for his date with someone else. Someone who was decidedly not you. The feeling bubbled up, stronger and stronger until it was burning you from the inside out. Shame accompanied it, hand in hand.

Of course, you had no real justification for this feeling. You and Sylus weren’t dating, as you needed to remind yourself more and more frequently. You weren’t even sure you could call your relationship friendly – it was somewhere in the bizarre stage of you wanting him, and him accepting your every move with grace. He took you for all you were in stride, met you for all your whims, and you trailed after his every word. You had something he wanted – what it was, you were never quite sure. It changed with his tides. You couldn’t pry it from him. Questions were only answered with more questions, so you had given up on asking them. Sylus’s response to your question cut through your thoughts. His voice was soft, imporing.

“You didn’t answer my texts or calls. I was knocking for a while, too, but there was no answer. With the way you left, I came to make sure.”

Make sure of what?

You hadn’t heard any knocking. You also hadn’t checked your phone.

He seemed to be choosing his words carefully, and they came in a slow, steady stream into your consciousness. You thought about the first time you had shot him. How his blood erupted from his chest in hot streams. It stained your hands as you tried desperately to stop his bleeding, pressing against the pulse of the open wound. When you thought you had taken his life. When he had pressed the trigger for you. When he didn’t die. The heat of him was still there, under your palms. It wouldn’t wash off. He was under your skin.

“I’m glad you like the gift, by the way.”

He took a step towards you as he spoke. You adjusted your grip. He was still in your sights. Your breath came quick, your mouth dry. You licked your lips, cracked from worrying your teeth on them so often lately. You thought about the woman and Sylus. Together. The red dress. Sylus’s blood. His laugh, for someone else. Not you.

“You’re welcome to take my life again,” he murmured soothingly, “But it might disturb the neighbors. Particularly the one downstairs. Of course, I’m willing to help you deal with the aftermath. Either way.”

He still had his hands raised in submission. The image of it was practically ridiculous. This wasn’t a posture that Sylus took up under any other circumstance. You knew it was all a show for your benefit, and that you were no match for him, despite your own prowess. Something about his unrelenting acceptance of his own death at your hands (again) dragged you out of your stupor by your achilles heel. You lowered the gun. Sylus took the opportunity to stride forward, and quickly slipped it from your hands with his own. You let him. His touch lingered just a moment too long, fingers pressed to yours. He was warm. Too warm for someone who had just been out in the cold. You resisted the urge to take his hand. His evol materialized, and quickly turned the safety on, ejecting the magazine. It returned the gun to the safe, shutting it away as if it had never happened. The red cloud disappeared as quickly as it came, as if it never were at all. The process took no more than a few seconds of silence between the two of you.

“You were going to modify it?” He asked, nonchalant. As if you hadn’t just been almost making an attempt on his life. He glanced at the suppressor, now cold and lonely on the coffee table.

“Yeah. I was going to...add a suppressor.”

You could hear the flat affect in your voice. It reflected how drained you were beginning to feel by all of this, on top of everything else. Your shoulders sagged under the weight of it.

What the fuck was this conversation, actually?

Sylus nodded, still managing to look pleased with the situation. You felt your life force actively draining from you as the seconds ticked by, as if you were the one who had almost been shot. His gaze shackled you in place, still. The sterling of his hair and the garnet of his eyes were just as enticing as ever. Radically out of place in your modest apartment.

“Can I help you down?”

His soft inquiry brought to your attention that you were still perched with one foot up on the back of the couch, poised to kill him. Your hands were now very much without the gun. Nothing connected you to the world below you concretely, anymore. Except him. He was standing before you with an offered hand. At some point during your conversation, he had rolled up his sleeves, revealing the rippling capability of the muscle of his forearms. It enticed you without voice. You took his outstretched hand, wordlessly. To your surprise, he pulled you over the back of the couch and towards him, catching you like you were nothing, his free hand supporting your waist. You landed softly on your feet in front of him, still in his arms, hand in his own. For a moment, the posture reminded you of how you had danced with him at the auction. You looked up at him, he down at you. His expression was inscrutable, save for a little smile. You were close enough to see the soft sweep of his eyelashes. The circles under his eyes. Proud nose and soft lips. You pulled away, hugging your arms to yourself. It was much colder for his lack of touch. His hands hovered at the place where he had held for a moment, and then fell back to his sides.

“What has you so wound up? I tried to call out to you this morning, but you bolted before I could greet you.”

Sylus had his head cocked at you now, as if the answer you had for him was something very simple. He adjusted one of his sleeve garters. You averted your gaze, studying a now very interesting speck of dust on your floor. You wanted to put all of this behind you, to forget it had ever happened. You would have never brought it up had he never shown his face. But he had to be here, asking questions. Making you lie to him even more than you already did. You had never been a liar until you spent time with him. You tried to keep your tone level as you spoke.

“I didn’t want to interrupt your date.”

Even saying it made your insides crawl. You spat the last word out with more venom that you had intended. Your lower intestine was trying to creep up to your diaphragm, and seemed to be succeeding. Sylus raised an eyebrow in your direction.

“Date?”

He crossed his arms over his chest. The movement made his biceps all the more prominent. He sounded puzzled, and was scrutinizing you, now. You couldn’t comprehend what was so hard to understand about all of this. You sighed, despite your best attempts to keep your emotions from bleeding through your cracks.

“Yes, date. What would you have me do? Come up and introduce myself while you’re clearly in the middle of something?”

You were aware you were completely out of line here. None of this was any of your concern in the first place. You had stuck your nose where it didn’t belong. Sylus had, quite literally, no obligation to you whatsoever. Certainly not to explain himself, or who he chose to spend his time with. You wanted to shrink and disappear into the floorboards. Perhaps you could seep through the cracks like smoke, and escape this confrontation all together. But you didn’t have that kind of power – unless Sylus was with you, holding you in his arms.

He had been quiet for a time. He started again.

“The woman I was with today is one of my contacts in Linkon. She helps me smuggle things in and out when I can’t attend to them personally. I’ve been working on...procuring something. For you.” He cleared his throat a little, as if he had just told you an embarrassing secret.

You gawked at him. He was still smiling at you. His eyes met yours. Seeing everything you didn’t want him to see. He didn’t even need to use the protocore in his right eye. It was all bared to him, regardless.

“And yes,” he continued,

“I would have been very pleased to introduce you. You only let me show you off every so often – I wanted to seize the opportunity by the horns.”

There were too many things you didn’t understand. How he could move about Linkon so nonchalantly. How he could be having conversations about smuggling in an upscale Linkon cafe. How the man before you, who gained all of his income from untold numbers of criminal activities, was the same who willingly spent his free time with you playing Kitty Cards and screwing around in the arcade. It was too much. You turned from him, and instead returned to the safety of the couch. You sat on it, grounding yourself with the feeling of your own belongings. You heard him follow after you. His shoes were still on, but you didn’t have the heart to scold him for his disregard for your floor's cleanliness. He sat next to you. The couch sunk under his greater weight, and caused you to slip a little closer to him on the furniture.

“You don’t owe me an explanation, Sylus.”

It was all you could say. Better to keep the respectable distance between you just as it was. Any further and you wouldn't be able to keep up this facade around him anymore. He kept pulling at your threads, trying to reveal your insides.

“No one owes anyone anything. But I wanted to tell you. Besides,” you felt his evol touch your hand, ever so gently. It was as if he was holding it without actually holding it. The little red extension of himself curled around your fingers playfully. You remembered how it had choked and shackled you in the past. Now it sat in your lap like a beloved pet, curling about your knees and fingertips. It’s usual crackling intensity was gone, now only a light, pleasant buzz against your skin. You focused on the sensation. It was warm, like him.

"Here I was, excited to think that you were going to shoot me because you thought you saw me out with someone else. I’m a little disappointed that wasn’t the reason.”

He was chuckling, like what just occurred had amused him. Something to spice up the usual banal repetition of his everyday life. You felt yourself deflating. There was no more hot air left inside – just the residual exhaustion, both emotionally and physically. You found yourself wishing, again, that you hadn’t taken a day off. If you hadn’t, Sylus wouldn’t have broken into your apartment to explain he wasn’t out with someone else. To you. The person he was also decidedly Not With. You fiddled with his evol in your lap. You had been around him often enough to know this teasing was his way of trying to cheer you up – to take your mind somewhere else besides exhausted and angry and I want to leave this plane of existence.

“I’ll be sure to follow through with it next time.”

There was no real bite to your words – to your ears, you only sounded exactly as you felt. Like you were threatening the man you had feelings for who did not return them, yet still refused to leave you alone. A plaything for his own amusements. Sylus merely nodded. His evol had since made its way to the drawstrings of your shorts, and it was tying them in various intricate knots, there. You wondered at it. It seemed to have a mind of its own – but you were certain that this, too, was another idle whim of his.

“I’m looking forward to it, then.”

His statement was quiet, nearly a sigh of pleasure. The back of your neck and ears burned in tandem. You examined the knots that were now likely forever tied into your poor drawstring.

What the fuck kind of knots even were these?

You pointedly ignored the minor arousal that threatened to arise at this.

“There’s something wrong with your brain. Seriously.”

“It takes a thief to catch a thief, my dove.” You could hear the smile in his words as he spoke.

“You have a few days off, right?” He was rolling the previously abandoned suppressor around in his fingers, examining it. You swore he had somehow gotten closer to you on the small couch – with the way his legs were spread, his knee was just barely touching yours.

“Yeah. Wait, how did you know?”

He ignored your question. As he almost always did, as it suited him. Instead, he responded with another question of his own.

“Why don’t you come back with me to the N109 zone? You can rest there, instead of here. Or, we can go out. Whatever you’d like.”

You were about to deny him, but his voice took on a more serious tone as he continued to speak.

“This place is going to claim your life if you don’t leave it every once in a while.”

You look two steps away from death. Take a few days off.

Why was everyone in your life so thoroughly convinced of your impending collapse? Even your criminal mastermind was in on it. You scrunched Sylus’s evol up in your hands. It wiggled, protesting your treatment in your fingers, but not dissipating. You wondered if he could feel your touch through it. If he could feel it when he killed. Maybe you did need to leave – maybe this place was killing you. If it wasn’t Wanderers, it would be your own disregard for yourself. Maybe the air was forever tainted by the death of your family, and the miasma would never quite leave your lungs. Maybe running away was the best thing to do. Sylus was giving you an out – at least for a little while. Maybe there were strings attached. There had to be, without a shadow of a doubt. He was silent while you mulled it over. You expected him to comment on your lack of response, but he said nothing.

Irritatingly patient.

You sighed. You turned to Sylus.

“Fine. But I only have a few days. Give me a few minutes to pack my things.”

Sylus had the good grace to look surprised at how easily you had agreed to his suggestion, but it quickly turned into a look of barely concealed smug satisfaction. His evol vanished from your grip, and you found yourself missing its comforting touch.

“You technically don’t need to pack anything. I have everything you could possibly need at the base. Clothes, food, weapons, shampoo, conditioner…the kinds you like.” He trailed off. You couldn’t tell how serious he was being, what with the expression he was serving you. You shot him a look.

He raised his hands, showing you his palms, submitting once again.

“Like I said. Give me a minute to pack my things.”

Sylus leaned back on the couch, relenting. He dropped his hands.

True to your word, gathering your things for a trip to the N109 zone took little time at all. It wasn’t that you were particularly Spartan with your assets – but rather that Sylus really did keep all of the things you needed around, and much more. Knowing you could trust him on this front made warmth creep to your face, and the cold began to seep from your bones. After changing, you returned to the living room with your bag, where Sylus was patiently awaiting your return. He was peering out your window. The sun hit him just right, and it illuminated his eyes with its beams. The red only intensified in the light, the color of blood only just exposed to air. You could have stared at the image of him forever. He always claimed to be unlucky, but it seemed to you as if every aspect of the world bowed to him. For someone who was so weak to its rays, he was lit brilliantly by the sun. He turned to you, squinting. Your eyes fell to your gun, which was in his hands. You recalled that he had definitely returned it to the safe, previously. He waved it at you, careful not to point the barrel in your direction.

“Don’t forget this.”

He stood as he spoke, and stepped toward you. His form loomed over you, and you felt him slip the gun into your thigh holster (where you had planned to put your standard issue) underneath your coat.

Bastard.

His hand lingered on your hip before he put it in his coat pocket. He smelled good. He was wearing something today that you couldn’t quite place. His natural scent was there, too.

Rosemary? Figs? Cloves?

“Shall we?”

His voice cut through your mental musings on men’s fragrance notes. You nodded, following after him as he led you out of your apartment. You were sure to lock the door behind you. Again. His bike was waiting faithfully for you in the parking lot. Sylus slipped your helmet on for you (why did he even have a second helmet on him today in the first place?), making sure your hair was tucked neatly away behind your neck. After repeating the action on himself, he kicked the stand out from under his bike, and you got on behind him. You always had no choice but to wrap your arms around him when you rode. You wondered how it made him feel – or if he felt anything about the contact at all. His back was broad, solid, and warm underneath your touch. You swore you could feel his muscles ripple underneath you, even with the barrier of his clothing between you. You squeezed him a little tighter as he began to drive. Even through your jacket, the air nipped at you for your speed. As he pressed the bike harder, you felt something tickle around your waist. You peeked down as best you could through the visor of your helmet. Sylus’s evol was keeping you neatly attached to him, as if your arms weren’t enough. The inside of your helmet suddenly felt hotter. You tried not to think about why he did the things he did. Sylus offered no acknowledgement or explanation for any of this. As always.

The bike sped on to the N109 zone, eager to return to where it belonged.

#love and deepspace #sylus #sylus x reader #sylus x you #lads x reader #lads sylus #love and deepspace sylus #sylus x mc #l&ds sylus #sylus love and deepspace

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inaconstantstateofchange · 1 year ago

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Who Builds Theseus' Ship?

This ties in to a greater discussion about Larian's changes to the game post-Full Release, and whether you consider those changes to be a good thing or a bad thing. Personally speaking, the quality-of-life and gameplay mechanics improvements were appreciated, while the direct changes to characters and especially characterization were not so much.

In such discussions, I often see people downplaying the actual changes to characterization that have been made thus far as "minor" things, but I often see one of the most glaring examples of a characterization change left out, because so many people aren't even aware of it ever happening:

Halsin.

For those who don't know, if you were romancing Halsin at the time of the original full release, and for almost four months afterward, if you took him with you to Act 3's orgy scene in Sharess's Caress, he would open up about a situation in his distant past. He would tell you about how he had briefly been "something between guest, prisoner, and consort" in a drow House, and been kept there for three years before escaping.

He stated that this was something that happened "a long time ago", when he was "a foolhardy young druid", which would mean it would likely have been between ages 100 and 245 — or at minimum 105 years ago, and at (likely) maximum 250 years ago. He closed the discussion with a line that really struck me, and that gave me such an appreciation for his character, and for the writers who had created it:

The passage of time has a strange way of polishing even the most arduous of memories into precious keepsakes.

As someone in their late-20s, with a number of traumatic events in my past, this resonated so much both with my experience of those events – once harrowing and haunting, now just simple happenings that do not affect me the way they once did – and as an inspirational message, that hurt would not necessarily linger forever.

Not only that, I really valued the insight it gave into Halsin's personality, further showing him to be someone who was deeply complex and meditative, always looking for meaning and something to take away or learn from any experience. It also served to showcase the likely reality of the relationship elves and druids both would have to the concepts of time and memory. (Another example of this is the experience of Shadowheart's father compared to her mother at the hands of the Sharrans.)

I started playing the game almost immediately upon its release in August, and was intrigued by Halsin from the start. He was someone who was kind and heartfelt, but also very settled in himself and with a simultaneously rigid and very flexible moral code. It was that complexity that drew me to him, and I appreciated the inclusion of a character distinct from the Origin companions, all at close to the lowest point of their lives.

It was to my surprise to find that this appreciation for his character and perspective on his Act 3 revelation was not unanimous. As it turned out, there was a vocal group of people claiming that this writing was problematic, and that Halsin clearly didn't even realize he was actually traumatized, and that Larian needed to fix it. Not everyone joining in with this crusade had even played the game.

And, ultimately, in a pattern they have continued to follow, Larian responded. They fixed it. At the end of November, as part of Patch 5, they uploaded an edited version of the scene with new dialogue, where the player could express this "reality" to Halsin, in one of the most gallingly patronizing statements I've ever seen.

Sounds traumatic. You may need to reflect on that.

(If someone said this to me after I had opened up to them about my trauma and my experience of it to them, we would not be maintaining a cordial relationship afterward.)

Halsin's new response to these dialogue options is a cringing, self-deprecating cascade of how the player is of course right, and he should have known better, and time could "prove to be a trickster on one's recollections" and that perhaps he had "lost perspective".

Quite frankly, it is a completely different character answering, and an almost directly opposing overall message about the role of time in healing, and the path forward when it comes to trauma. No more "one day these events will not hurt to recall the way they do now". In its stead: "only healing that looks a specific way and follows a specific path is acceptable - anything else and you are simply a poor fool lying to yourself."

The following quote is from a comment left on a video of Halsin's original dialogue in that scene, before the changes, and is just one example of how much that representation meant to more than just me to see:

That said, Halsin is trauma recovery goals for me absolutely. Being able to remember without actually being triggered? Being able to fully and freely engage HOW ID LIKE TO instead of being fettered by trauma responses? Goals. I don’t know if I’ll ever get there 100%, we don’t get elven lifetimes irl, but his level of healing brings me hope.

Ultimately, this post is not meant to argue that you should agree with me that one is better than the other. More so, I want to highlight that this existed — for many people, this was their experience of events and characters, and that is not so easily redacted. And I also want to just state, for the record, that Larian's way of approaching narrative and characterization changes to their full-release game has been incredibly frustrating. I did not agree, in August, to play an Early Access game with the inherent understanding that any potential narrative aspect might change at any time. I purchased a full-release game, and immersed myself in the story and the characters, to get to know them as the writers had originally presented.

And when Larian makes these changes based on fan feedback, they are explicitly making decisions about which fans matter, and specifically, which fans matter most. Rather than allowing everyone to experience the story they decided to tell, and draw from it what they take away, and let that spark discussion and engagement, they made the decision to defer to some fans over others, and prioritize their experience of the narrative — something that, no matter how well-intended, is always going to leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

#voidling speaks #bg3 #bg3 meta #my meta #it feels insane to have to do archival work for a six month old game #but here we are #halsin #larian #larian critical #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 halsin #meta

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mizading · 1 year ago

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Breaking Up With JJK Men

Characters: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami.

Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, obsessiveness, mentions of death, begging, threatening, stalking, paranoia, etc.

Synopsis: How these JJK men react to you attempting to leave.

Satoru Gojo:

The type to beg

Gojo would immediately break down. He can’t bear you leaving; he’s lost too much already.

Something about Geto walking out of his life prior makes Gojo unhealthily attached and dependent on you. You’re Gojo’s safe place; he can’t lose you, no matter what.

Before you can say another word, he’s on his knees at your feet, holding onto your legs as tight as he possibly can. Gojo will refuse to let go unless you agree to stay with him.

He’s a crying mess, tears soaking your legs, hair disheveled as he sobs uncontrollably. As much as Gojo wants to control his emotions, he simply can’t.

If you still don’t give in, He’ll cup your face, forcing you to look in his direction to “see what you did to him”. Gojo tries to win you back the only way he knows how, by begging and making you feel absolutely awful for what you caused.

Before you know it, he’s wrapping his large frame around you, keeping you trapped in his tight embrace. If Gojo has to keep you with him using force, then he’ll go there in a heartbeat.

He apologizes for his excessive touch, but he needed to feel you in some way to help soothe himself. Gojo was practically having a panic attack before your eyes.

As Gojo locks you in his embrace, he can’t help but express how much he needs you. Gojo doesn’t know how he’ll manage without you; is there any point to life with you gone? Regardless of what you think, Gojo truly needs you.

Your heart breaks seeing him in this state—body shaking, eyes dull, and choking on his own sobs. Did you really have the heart to leave him? Seeing the strongest man alive behave in such a way over you leaving affected you mentally.

If you decide to stay, it’ll take a long time to improve his state. He needs to be 100% sure that you won't change your mind or leave when he’s off guard. Gojo becomes annoyingly attached to you physically; he cannot keep his hands to himself.

Gojo will slowly but surely get better. He’s still quite clingy weeks after the event, but he seems to be in the right headspace for the most part.

In the end, he’s just relieved to have his baby with him.

Suguru Geto:

The type to threaten

Geto’s first instinct is to laugh. He’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you’re only joking with him. When he finds out that you’re being serious, his entire demeanor changes.

Everything quickly turns bitter. Are you really going to leave after everything that he’s done for you? Geto finds it comical.

One thing that Geto will make clear is that you won't be leaving. He can’t seem to accept it, so it won’t happen.

The way that his dark, haunting eyes bore into your soul makes you immediately rethink your decision. How could such a warm and comforting face turn so dull and haunting?

Geto will blankly stare into your eyes silently, allowing you to change your mind before things get worse.

You’ll suddenly be pulled into his lap, harsh enough for you to notice his slight hostility but soft enough for you to not say anything.

“You don’t want to find out what I'll do to myself if you leave, right?” His words made you nauseous almost instantly. Geto spoke in a soft, comforting voice, but his words were sick.

He would caress your hair, occasionally pressing soft kisses to your temple, allowing his words to sink into your pretty little head. “I’m sure that you wouldn’t want to be the one to blame if I went through with anything precious”.

It was all sick; he was doing it on purpose. You knew that Geto struggled with his purpose of living, but you never knew that he would go to this level.

You couldn’t fathom the thought of not having Geto in this world; you still loved him even if you wanted to separate from him. You agreed to stay for the sake of keeping Geto alive.

Geto reverts back to his usual gentle self almost immediately when you tell him that you’ll stay. It was scary how rapidly he could change. Geto knew this, and he used it to his advantage.

Even if you planned to go through with leaving, he wouldn’t have let you. You’re his main purpose for living; Geto can’t lose that.

Kento Nanami:

The type to stalk

Nanami would spend a bit of time asking you to reconsider, but if you want to leave, he’ll let you go.

A few tears will be shed, but not much. Nanami doesn’t waste too much time begging because he knows that you’ll ultimately end up doing what you want.

Before you leave, Nanami will ask you for at least a hug and a kiss. As heartless as Nanami seems, he loves you to bits and pieces.

Nanami didn’t plan on stalking you; it just happened. He started by simply driving to your house to give him peace of mind, then peeking through your windows late at night.

A few weeks after the breakup, you take notice of an unfaltering feeling that someone is watching you. There wasn’t necessarily anything out of place; you just felt it. You couldn’t tell if it was because you were alone now or if someone was actually watching you.

Once you finally let the feeling go, everything gets worse. It starts with flowers at your doorsteps daily. You couldn't help but shake the feeling that Nanami might have been the one doing it.

It all escalated to feeling followed every time you left the house. You couldn’t help but notice someone's presence every now and then when you were about your day. You started to leave the house less and less because of it.

Nanami feels guilty for following you around, but he can't help it. Nanami can't bear the thought of something happening to you when he’s not there to protect you. His only resort is to secretly keep an eye on you as much as he can.

Everything was unbearable. Ever since the breakup, you have felt terribly paranoid and scared. You sit up at night sometimes thinking about how safe you would be if you had only stayed with Nanami.

You attempt to continue on with your life, but none of it ends. Your paranoia was consuming you whole. Thoughts of just running back to Nanami were becoming excruciatingly loud. Who else would protect you?

You tried desperately to continue on without him, but the truth is that you couldn’t. Not before long, you found yourself at his door once again. Regardless of whether he was stalking you or not, you just wanted it all to end.

Nanami would happily welcome you back with open arms. His desperation for you led to him doing things that he never thought he would do.

Nanami puts your mind at ease when you explain what you went through after leaving. He made sure to make you feel like he could protect you from absolutely everything in this world, which is why you came back.

Nanami can’t help but have some type of guilt in the back of his mind because of what he did to you. At least he has his baby back in his arms.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk headcanons #jjk #jjk x reader #gojo headcanons #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #geto headcanons #geto x reader #geto suguru #nanami headcanons #nanami x reader #nanami kento #anime

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frownyalfred · 4 months ago

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going off of all the miserable calorie counting lifestyle/relationship with food demanded by being Batman, I feel like Dick as an adult has the closest eating style bc his acrobatics and physique also take a lot of specific work? But my main thing I'm thinking abt is where if Damian eventually becomes Batman. Would it be a gradaul shift to that kind of diet over his teen years, is he able to improve upon it, is there this kind of parental sadness on Bruce's end at seeing your child eventually grow to have the same relationship with/use of food?

As someone from a food restrictive upbringing I can't see Bruce as someone who is an 'almond mom's either. I just find the concept rlly interesting

Yeah. Dick’s diet is equally restrictive and awful but in the opposite direction. Maintaining that level of leanness is so freaking hard. Doing a pull up with five extra pounds can be the difference between 10 reps and 15 reps. Imagine how much acrobatic work he needs to dial in on to be that limber and fast. Insanity.

I hope Bruce doesn’t encourage Damian to follow in his footsteps. I think he’d be horrified to see any of his kids eat and train the way he does. It’s his Mission, his body, his suffering. And I think he wants them to be effective vigilantes but not…like that.

But does seeing that kind of behavior modeled for you change how you act? Absolutely.

#tw eating issues #tw diet #bruce wayne #batman #dc #asks #anon #batfamily #dick grayson #Damian wayne #nightwing

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mapoeggplant · 3 days ago

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skip to loafer chapter 68 + shima analysis // spoilers

acceptance of the monster: how facing the past is necessary when the goal is a brighter future

i think that those who have been following me for a while have seen all my analyses and random insights about shima. i have immense affection for him and he will always be one of my favorite characters ever. and chapters like this remind me of how important he is in my life.

chapter 68 is very straight to the point, but it also hides some small and big changes that started to bubble up from previous chapters. for the first time, we no longer have small, not very explicit scenes from shima's memories or him being so afraid of finally facing the past: now we have the naked truth, laid out in front of us, so that we can understand a little more about how the childhood that shaped shima's entire life until now was.

unlike what i imagined, i didn't get angry with taiga now that he was introduced. of course, i don't think his actions were right or that he didn't influence shima in a negative way, but his appearance at that moment served as both a salvation and a tragedy for shima's life.

there are many layers to be analyzed. we know very, very little about taiga, but we can understand that he didn't have a very good relationship with his family either — the moment he talks about his parents' disappointment in him for giving up acting shows us that he was probably also forced to do something he didn't want to do. he is also the result of a desire imposed on him, causing him to rebel as the years went by.

in a way, meeting shima is like meeting your past self. i don't see much evil in his actions or see it as something malicious. i think he recognized in shima's face the same nervousness that he himself felt every time before his rehearsal, thus proposing that he also have an act of rebellion to feel a little freer.

however, the evil of all this is that taiga, without knowing anything, ends up entering shima's life at a time when he is most fragile and hurt by everything he has been facing (whether it be his abusive relationship with his mother or his growing fear of acting). shima sees taiga as an equal, someone who understands all the pain he has faced but managed to escape from it, while he’s still a prisoner. he sees the older boy as an inspiration, as a friend he longed for, who would show him what a life away from cameras and rehearsals would be like.

shima is still too young to understand everything that is happening around him, and too young to see any kind of problem in following his new friend. having a destructive act at a time of such fragility gives him a certain strength, because he understands this as the only way he has to face his mother and go against everything that is imposed on him. going out with taiga, even if secretly, is a message to his mother: you no longer have control over me.

unfortunately, we have known the result of these escapades for a long time. ririka, also worried about shima, decides to follow him and ends up being targeted by several online attacks. even though shima was the one who “took” her there, ririka, a beautiful and successful girl, is the perfect target.she is the one who suffers the direct consequences, and of course this is closely linked to the sexism that is rooted in society and how much people wait for a girl to make a small mistake so that they can destroy her in some way (i talk more about this in my exclusive ririka analysis).

now shima no longer has to face just two monsters: they have now multiplied into a thousand, becoming even stronger. the consequences of his rebellion come in an aggressive form, with his mother’s abuse and the new tarnished image he obtained in his artistic circle. his mother’s anxiety comes from the fact that shima would no longer get big roles, either because of this transgression or because he missed so many rehearsals, which did not lead to any improvement in terms of acting. blinded by all the anger she feels inside, shima's mother's direct response is no other than to attack her son.

child abuse is extremely common in the arts, whether by parents, the press, the public or co-workers. shima is just one of many young actors who have had to suffer the wrath of a parent who is disappointed by a dream that they themselves forced their children to have. and of course, this would result in years of being afraid to be who they are, to speak out and to live a normal life without carrying immense guilt. the prison that he has placed himself in for all these years is the evolution of the bonds imposed by his mother.

the turning point does not happen in this chapter itself, but in a sequence of long events that led him to where he is. it is impossible for shima to change overnight: it takes a lot of work and a lot, but a lot of analysis (even if it is self-analysis) to finally understand and be able to heal all this pain that he has been held hostage by for so many years. and the second part of the chapter shows exactly that.

shima is no longer afraid to face the monster of the past because he is no longer alone. he finally understands that there are people around him who care about him and fight to stay by his side. having people's support and love gives him the strength to move forward and continue this arduous battle of growing up. shima now understands what it is to be loved to the point of being happy about a past fight, as it resulted in an even closer relationship with mitsumi. he understands that being loved is being able to look back on the past and no longer feel pain or guilt, but to recognize the one who suffered so much, with no one by his side.

he now takes on the role of the monster, but no longer to affirm his guilt, but to be able to show his past self and all the other monsters around him how it is possible for him to be happy. how it is possible to decide things for yourself and follow your heart. how it is possible to love so many people and be loved in return. how it is possible to look at a person and feel an immense warmth, an inexplicable desire to keep fighting, all so that he can be by their side.

shima is finally reaching out to his past self, so that they can form a new future together.

before i finish, i would also like to touch on an important point that i see the possibility of being discussed in the future: shima's current relationship with his mother. chapter 67 brought something very important, which was shima's recognition when he admitted that he felt a certain pity for his mother, due to all the comments he heard about her. deep down, he feels a certain empathy for his mother and no longer sees her as an unbeatable villain. he has been slowly trying to change his relationship with her, and the first step is to invite her to watch the play he chose to be in. this in my opinion shows shima's desire to forgive his mother in order to move on, but also seek some kind of forgiveness from her (which can be a result of many years of manipulation, since he still thinks he is guilty for a lot of his mother’s pain). i feel that we will still see a type of closeness between them and a deeper conversation, so that shima can finally feel like he belongs to a family again. this can be a triggering moment to a lot of readers, so if it does happen, please be mindful of it.

the layers that not only this chapter but this whole new arc has are much deeper than we imagine. building a character requires love, patience and conversation. you need to listen and understand what your character wants. respect is needed so that the story can grow. takamatsu misaki has a huge affection for her characters, for her story and for everything she has been building since 2018.

we're so lucky to be able to follow such amazingly beautiful story.

thank you so much for reading 💛💛!! don't forget to support sensei if you can! always here to discuss more about the chapter!

#skip to loafer #skip and loafer #skip to loafer spoiler #skip and loafer spoilers #shima sousuke #I can't put into words how much he means to me #I love him from the bottom of my heart #thank you for so much shima

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lovewitchtarot · 11 months ago

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general tarot reading

this is a very random reading there's no rhyme or reason to it its just what came up for me when I pulled cards for all the piles some of it is love and relationships and some of it is work and school

Disclaimer: This is a collective reading; take what resonates, leave what doesn't. Never use tarot readings for medical or legal advice, and for the sake of legality, don't act on anything that could potentially hurt you or others because of a tarot reading. Don't take this reading or any others too seriously. Remember, this is for the collective, not just one person.

Pile one

Don't be afraid to embrace who you are; do what makes you happy without fear of what other people may think or say. Engage in hobbies and things that really make you happy. Now would be a good time to explore your shadow self as well, do shadow work, and dig deep into who you are as a person. Self-acceptance is really important for you. Now would be a good time to channel your creativity into a new hobby or project. Try new things with the thought of progress and self-exploration instead of fear of failure. Try to be more fact-based, although it can be hard to get out of your head. Remember to think logically and take other people's thoughts and feelings into perspective before you act or make a decision. Don't think so quickly; take time to understand before you do things. Be kind to yourself; don't let life knock you down. Even when times get tough, remember to be kind to your heart and your soul. Nourish yourself with self-care and self-love. If you are having a hard time in love, remember the saying “don't chase butterflies; instead, build a beautiful garden and wait for the butterflies to come to you. If the butterflies don't come, then you still have a beautiful garden.” Self-love and self-improvement are so important. Even if you aren't going through anything tough, remember to love yourself and treat yourself with kindness. It is time to take a journey that could be school- or work-based, but you are ready for a big change—a positive one. Be prepared to receive a spiritual gift. This gift is going to be vast and incredible. You are going to gain great success and wisdom, or you may already have it, but with this success and wisdom, you are going to become a great leader. You are about to come into a very memorable and incredible time in your life. I'm seeing a new school, maybe college, or a new job. This is the time of your life to make memories and just “go for it." . I'm hearing “you only live once” to describe this energy. You also need to accept the past; you need to learn to trust again; and you need to let go of this stagnant energy. Also, remember that it's okay to make mistakes; it's how we learn, so don't hold onto your past mistakes. Don't forget to balance your professional life and your personal life; keep them separate and balanced. Don't forget to use your intuition. Don't be afraid to live your truth as yourself and wear it with pride. I see a counterpart coming into your life; this could be a friend or a spouse. This person could already be in your life, but this is a divine counterpart. You two are harmonious together, and you have or will have a beautiful relationship, whether it is platonic or romantic.

Pile two

You are a very talented person. You may not have found your talent, but once you do, you can expect to be able to make a career from it. The career you end up pursuing will be very fun for you, and you'll love work. If you are currently working and you don't feel this way, then don't expect this to be your permanent job. There is about to be a choice or decision that sets a lot of change into motion. This is a positive change that you will greatly benefit from. Again, this could be a new job throughout this change. Be flexible and go with what life brings, as it's inevitable to fight. Don't be afraid to direct it, though you still have control in many aspects. I see you standing up, maybe for your beliefs or rights. I see you fighting for what's right. I see you stepping into your spirituality; you are a naturally spiritual persona, and I see you learning to channel it into your practices. You may just be starting out on your spiritual journey, or you may have been on it for a while, and you're just now getting ready to level up. Remember to balance spirituality with your everyday life. Stay grounded and don't live in your third-eye energy so much. Remember to stay spiritually protected and cleansed; physically cleansing your space is a great way to invite positive energy in and expel negative energy from your life. If you're going through a slump, try to clean your space both physically and spiritually. Also, indulge in self-care, replenish your soul, and see how things positively change around you. It's time to step into your healing energy and take time to heal from the inside out. Eat more warm foods, as comfort is really being prioritized right now, but don't only feed your body; also feed your soul. Someone is currently thinking of you as a friend, but I see more of a love interest, and I see that this particular relationship is about to level up significantly. Don't neglect your friendships with your partner. Remember that all of your relationships, romantic and platonic, are equally important, so make time for friends and family as well. Be on the lookout for manifestations, as they are about to appear in front of you. This could be a manifestation that has been long in progress, so be prepared for that. There are going to be temptations in your path, but stay focused and patient, as the right outcome for you will soon appear and you will be triumphant. You are really stepping into your spirituality, and it is going to do great things for you. I'm seeing a romantic partner coming, though. Try to pamper yourself, even if you find it hard; it is extremely important.

pile three

You are going to be traveling soon and setting out on new adventures. You are going to have a completely fresh start as well. This could mean that you are moving or just going on a trip. I see you studying abroad as well. Cycles are going to come to an end. This could also mean graduating either from school or a work position (moving up in the company or to an entirely new job). You will be making a new romantic connection or strengthening an old one. This person is very romantic and sensual. This relationship is going to be or is absolutely wonderful and fulfilling. However, don't overly push things; they will happen when the time comes, and make sure each person is putting in equal amounts of effort and contributing their share. Overcome any fears you may have, as they are holding you back from your full potential. Trust your intuition when it comes to finding out the truth about situations and other people. Don't be afraid to dig deep into things to learn the full truth about them. Keep up your spirits if things go wrong. Don't turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms; ground yourself and try yoga or meditation. You are soon to be recognized for your hard work; this could also include receiving a reward. Remain faithful and loyal to your friends and other relationships, as it is very important. If you need support and encouragement, don't be afraid to seek it out, but also don't be scared to give it in return, as it is the best gift to give someone. Make sure to stay protected both spiritually and physically, but mainly physically. If you end up traveling, be sure to be safe on your adventures. Now would be a good time to dive into your creative side and try different types of art, as I can see you really benefiting from it. Mass abundance is coming your way. This could be physical things or it could be more sentimental things, such as friends or memories. Don't be scared to speak up for what's right. I can see you stepping into a motherly energy that can apply to anyone, whether you want kids or not. You can be motherly to your plants or animals, even just your friends and family.

#tarot witch #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot #divination #collective reading #pick a pile #pick a card #witchcore #witch #witches #witchcraft

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icyg4l · 10 months ago

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PAC: How to Improve Your Relationship With Your Mother Figure

Hello beautiful people. Today is Mother’s Day and I want to wish all of the mothers out there a Happy Mother’s Day. Whether your mother is alive, dead or far away, I want to dedicate this reading to those who wish to have better relationships with their mothers. You don’t have to have a strained relationship with your mother to relate to this topic. You could simply just want to keep the bond that you have already. And lastly, I want to dedicate this Mother’s Day to the mothers in Haiti, Congo, Palestine, Sudan, Tigray and unfortunately many more. If you have any crowdfunding links that need to be boosted/donated to regarding mothers/families in these countries, please do not hesitate to direct me to them. Without further ado, please select the photo that resonates with you.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (Pile 1-6)

Pile One: I feel like this pile has a close relationship with their mother overall. You seem to be at peace with where you are with her, but things could get even better. I feel like something that could help you and your mother get along even more is helping her around the house. She likes for the floors to be swept and mopped, towels to be folded, dishes to be washed. Your mother may be a neat freak but it’s nothing that can’t be taken care of. I also feel like buying your mother things that she would use on a daily basis could be something that improves your relationship. For example, if your mother really likes makeup, get her a lip gloss set. If she likes flowers, buy her a vase and some flowers so that she can smell the roses. It’s the thought that counts. And lastly, I feel like making your mom look good is going to improve your relationship. Not only does being a good representation of her name make her look good, but actually adding onto her beauty will strengthen your relationship. If you’re into makeup, do your mom’s makeup. If you’re into hair, do her hair. If she wants a new pair of shoes, get her that pair of shoes. This is only if you’re able to though. Don’t break the bank trying to please your mama.

If your mother is not here on this Earth, then please go all out with her grave. She wants you to decorate her grave/headstone with flowers. Clean the headstone. Wear her necklaces, bracelets and adornments. She wants you to talk about her highly. She wants you to not forget where you came from. You are wise and positive, so please continue to do what you do. Just because she is gone does not mean anything should change. She wants you to listen to your gut. If you have a little sibling, please don’t let them do anything stupid even though they can be prideful. I feel like she’s very big on morals and discipline so don’t think she isn’t clocking you from the afterlife because she is. Lastly, please speak of yourself highly. You have half of her genes and she does not appreciate it when you disrespect the physical features that you two share. Have some respect for those who have come before you.

Cards Used: Queen of Cups, Justice, The Star, 6 of Wands, The Magician, Ace of Discs.

extras: joanne the scammer. 2016 era of youtube. mother-daughter days. only child. donuts.

Pile Two: I feel like you all have a tumultuous relationship with your mother. It feels like you’re a rebel and you do not like to follow the rules. You and your mother could never see eye-to-eye once you turned a certain age. Perhaps, it was around age 12? I feel like you and your mother need to consider counseling. It would help a lot to have a mediator with the two of you. This energy is like an episode of Maury or Steve Wilkos. I think that you may be LGBTQ+ as well. Your mother may not completely accept this part of you. Now usually, I am against the whole “They’re from a different time stance” but your mom feels out of reach to you. I am literally seeing two people on opposite sides of a grassy land. One person is reaching for the other but the other person is minding their business. She wants to understand you but her bossiness can get in the way. I say to just be patient with her. I feel like one thing that you can do is invite her to a place that you frequent often for fun just so she can get a taste of what you do everyday. I am channeling this movie called ‘The Aggressives’. One of the mascs’ mother was so convinced that she would end up with a man but that obviously wasn’t the case. By the end, she just ended up accepting her daughter for who she is. You two are definitely on opposite sides of the spectrum. I feel like another thing that you could do is play video games with her, which is weird? This can help build teamwork amongst you two, thus forming a better bond in the end.

If your mother is deceased, I feel like you should be taking more risks. Stop giving a fuck about the rules and just live your life. There is nothing wrong with changing up your routine. Your mother could have been a rebel or even someone who led a revolution. Your mother wants you to walk away from what you once knew. Deep inside, you are someone who is capable of making great changes just as she did. I feel like your mother just wants you to embrace the inner youth inside of you. You’re too rigid. It’s affecting the way that you live. You have too much couth. It’s okay to play and let loose a little bit. She will still love you just the same as she did when she was alive if you change. Overall, embrace change babe! Dye your hair a different color. Take a spontaneous trip. Go to that concert. Please just do something! Get out of freeze mode!

Cards Used: The Fool, 6 of Swords, The Hermit (RX), 5 of Swords, Queen of Swords, 7 of Discs, Wheel of Fortune, The Hierophant (RX).

extras: minor headaches. igor (2019). odd future fan. beast. the bear (2022). absent father.

Pile Three: I feel like you have this certain image of your mother in your head. You think that she is perfect but she is not, my dear. There are certain things that she has been through/experienced that she hasn’t even told you about. You do not know her the way you think you do. She has stories for days. She is not an angel. I feel like you need to get to know your mother. She is an interesting character. Ask her about her life story. Ask her about the experiences that have shaped her into the woman that she is today. You need to take her off of the pedestal that you have put her on. Take a step into reality, boo. I think that doing stuff like going out by the water or going fishing will help you guys bond to understand each other better. Yes, she used to change your diapers but if someone walked up to you and asked what your mother figure’s favorite color was, would you be able to answer it? It’s time to change that. I feel like traveling with your mother, whether it’s a road trip or by plane will help as well. I am channeling the movie Tammy (2014) with Melissa McCarthy. I recommend you watch this movie. Don’t underestimate your mother anymore!

If your mother is deceased, I feel like she wants you to know that she looks back on memories between the two of you fondly. I think she may have passed when you were too young to remember or it was before you hit puberty. You should ask the people who knew her best about what she was like, how she felt about motherhood, how she felt about you, etc. She does not regret anything in her lifetime. That says a lot about how she lived her life. If you have access to these, find any diaries, photos, old clothes, etc and put them in a place where no one can find them. If you find some old clothes, wear them and don’t let anyone else do that. Your mother wants you to be on the straight and narrow path though. Even though you may not know her like the back of your hand, she’s been watching you grow into the person that you are today from a place that you cannot see. But she will not judge if you stray away from this path, she understands what it’s like to be young and dumb. Overall, your mother just wants what is best for you.

Cards Used: 6 of Swords, Temperance, 3 of Wands, 7 of Swords (RX), King of Cups.

extras: beaver. morehouse college. air out your grievances. gummy bear song. sepia filter.

Pile Four: Stop hanging out with your significant other so much! You need to learn how to balance between familial obligations and romantic obligations. I feel like this is really the only thing that is getting in between you and your mother’s relationship. I feel like this pile listens to Jhene Aiko a lot. I am channeling Never Call Me. I think your mom would show up to your s/o’s house unannounced with a bunch of people behind her if you don’t keep in contact with her regularly. She does not play about you at all. It’s not really an overbearing thing. I think she just doesn’t want you to go down the path that she went down with your father. So speak up or face the consequences, love. I also think that you should hear her out when it comes to certain advice especially if it has something to do with a car. Maybe you let your s/o borrow your car too much or you let your car battery almost die or something? In this case, mother knows best. She’s not a chip on your shoulder. Just listen!

If your mother is deceased, I feel like she may have died around the same time as your father figure. She also could have died at the same time as your father figure. Your father could have been the reason she died. She wants you to be independent. Learn how to change your own tires. Take up some gym classes/self-defense classes. Don’t be willfully clueless. She also wants you to not be anyone’s ride or die. This may be the reason why she passed away. I feel like you’ve heard countless versions of how your mother chose to live her life, it isn’t completely true. Don’t believe the hype. One day, you will come across the full story. Definitely be single until you are ready to marry. Your mother could have been rushed to marry. She does not want to see you get taken advantage of like she was. Don’t hesitate to dedicate an altar to her. She wants to talk to you. She may have even popped up in your dreams before.

Cards Used: 6 of Discs (RX), Ace of Swords, 2 of Wands, The High Priestess, The Devil, Two of Cups, Queen of Wands.

extras: gang culture. setup. grooming. pirates. shoddy apartment. purple bandana.

Pile Five: Have you ever considered getting plastic surgery so that you would look different from your mother? I am specifically getting an eyelift, nose job, butt implants, etc. I am channeling the energy of Blac Chyna and Tokyo Toni. I think that you and your mom have a toxic relationship. One day you’re good. The next day you’re fighting to be heard by her. You two could have physically fought before. What I am hearing is “Everyone has a story”. I feel like your guides want you to take into consideration her backstory. Get a little psychological here. Why does she act the way that she acts? Was she abandoned as a child? How does this play into how she treats you now? I am seeing a therapist writing in their notebook as we speak. I feel like she operates out of a lack mindset and you have outgrown that. I think that there was some type of falling out between her and your father figure. Maybe she was the side chick? Maybe she was taken advantage of at a young age? Maybe it was both. Honestly, this pile is very different from the others. You are being asked to pour into yourself. You need to put your foot down and let her know that you will be choosing the higher road. She will respect you more if you do that. I also think that you just simply need to start taking more time for yourself. You do not exist to be your mother’s punching bag. You are a human being. This pile is very different. You need to protect your peace babe.

If your mother is deceased, I feel like you guys could have argued before she died. I think that she was warning you about a particular behavior. Maybe she was telling you not to follow in your father’s footsteps and you chose not to listen. Maybe you snuck off somewhere you weren’t supposed to? Your mother did not want to control you. She just had some feelings about the choices you were making. But you make the bed that you lay in so there’s nothing that she could have done about it. I feel like you need to forgive yourself. Free yourself of the burden of your mother’s death. You cannot control fate. You need to learn how to accept certain circumstances for what they are. You can change the present moment and make things right today! It’s all about what you choose to do. No matter what though, your mother still has love for you. She forgave you a long time ago, almost as soon as she transitioned. It’s time for you to make peace with yourself, love. Take control of your future and accountability for your actions (or lack thereof).

Cards Used: The Emperor, 9 of Cups, Prince of Discs, The Moon, 5 of Wands, Ace of Cups, 7 of Swords, Judgment, The High Priestess.

extras: living vicariously. narcissist. getting high. sobbing uncontrollably. asthma attack. ambush.

Pile Six: You are not a child anymore, Pile Six. Your mother is willing to talk to you about uncomfortable topics now. You’re an adult. Treat yourself as such. I think that drinking wine with your mother and having a conversation will help you guys get along better. Day drinking, wine tasting, etc will help you guys bond in a more mature way. I feel like you and your mom could be friends if you were not mother and child. You have to see the world through an adult’s eyes now. I feel like gossiping with your mom can be beneficial for your relationship, especially if it’s about old family tea. You can be in the know now, lol. I also think that paying for dinner/lunch could be a great way to prove your maturity. Honestly, your mom just wants you to grow up. You’re there but not quite. Be the butterfly that you’re meant to be. Lowkey, you might want to start saving to move out. She’s not going to kick you out or anything but you’re going to start feeling differently about the environment that you’re in.

If your mother is deceased, please keep her updated on the latest family/friend drama lol. I feel like your mother may have had a boyfriend before she passed. I don’t know if he moved on or not but she approves of the lady he’s with now. Your mother could have had problems with conceiving/conceived at a young age. This plays into why she treated you like gold. You guys could have acted more like siblings rather than mother and child. It’s also possible that your mother could have passed at a young age (you could actually be older than your mother right now). Whatever the case may be, I feel like she wants you to finish the path that she was set to be on. Continue to honor her legacy. She could have been on the way to pursuing a degree, you should do the same but actually complete the journey. I am channeling the energy of Whitney Houston. Your mother is very animated to be honest. She wants you to embrace that energy/side of yourself. It’s in you, lol. And lastly, don’t try to hide being your mother’s child. You don’t have to be exactly like her but you are her partially. You are your own person but you just so happen to take after her mannerisms, looks, etc lol. There is nothing wrong with that. Don’t fight it.

Cards Used: Queen of Discs, The Sun, 6 of Cups (RX), Princess of Discs (RX), 3 of Cups, The Lovers.

extras: esperanza/hope. j. cole. popeye spinach. t-boz. slow jamz. 2004-2005. senior in college.

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pixeltwix · 3 months ago

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-Fiddleford Missing His Family-

To me, one of the most heartbreaking details of Gravity Falls is just..everything McGucket related, but specifically him before he starts even getting his family back after Weirdmageddon

Because he spent the entire series and probably the last thirty years trying to recreate his family

It speaks volumes to me that despite a shunning son and a divorce on his pallet, and zero memory or how any of this even happened, that he’s desperately trying to recreate a life he doesn’t even remember but knows he at least had at one point and wants again

Obviously we know he did have a wife and son, hell he’s introduced as a father first and foremost in the story and I think most people forget that, but through and through he is inherently a family man

I myself struggle to understand this mindset, and most do as well, but some people genuinely want to have a family. Like that’s genuinely their dream and their goal in life alongside their occupational dreams, and Fiddleford completely comes off as that kinda guy. I think he just struggled to balance himself thinking he couldn’t do fifty fifty and instead put one hundred percent into things separately and fell short in both categories here and there

Regardless, we know Tate, and even though season one never planned on making McGucket anything other than a comedic side character we know that changed with season two in the shows new direction

All that really does is complicate things for why Tate is here. Obviously we can fill in the blanks with the lore later given last minute, maybe he wanted to see if his father was actually up in Gravity Falls, maybe he wanted to see if he could get through to him and it ‘wasn’t as bad’ as what he had heard or assumed, but that’s not relevant in this post at the moment

What I’m focusing on instead is the fact that just because Fiddleford can’t bridge the gap and connect with his actual son, because he has zero clue what it is he’s done, it doesn’t stop him from being in the community and playing roles that a ‘normal father’ would be doing for his kids

Ie reading town history to local kids (even if he just wound up eating the books after) it’s usually still an important thing parents tend to want to do with their kids (the teaching aspect)

Being there as a chaperone on a first date (I know it’s not the first for Gideon & Mabel, but the point is still there) as most ‘normal’ parents want to be active in their kids lives and make sure they’re being safe, & making good choices in the world

Being at the Sev’Ral Times concert (later seen crowd surfing, which honestly still cracks me up) but nevertheless he shows up out of the blue to be vocally supportive of the girls excitement for the concert and their plans

Yknow, as a parent ought to be when taking their kid to their favorite bands concert

Annnd then of course, far less subtle to anything else mentioned before regarding an image to general parenthood, we have raccoon wife

Again, there’s nothing subtle about this, it’s raccoon wife and it is bizarre that no one in town questions this. “Crazy local coot thinks he’s married to a raccoon? Yeah, makes sense.” (Though tbf there’s a local man married to a woodpecker, so ig it’s whatever for everyone)

Again x2 I’m not sure what to add on here because it feels pretty blatant what bro is shooting for mental wise here, it just makes me wonder wHAt about a raccoon reminds him of Emma May?

Maybe it’s just the pale round face, dark eyes, and brown hair that makes it click in his head

Regardless I still think it’s sweet that even when he’s gotten some recollection of himself back he’s still concerned for the raccoons in the apocalypse

Anywho, call me an emotional loser if you want, but the concept of this old man wanting his family back for some thirty odd years and not knowing how to get them back so he substitutes it with other things is horribly depressing

I can at least rest easy knowing his relationship with Tate has improved after Weirdmageddon :)

#gravity falls #gravity falls fandom #fiddleford mcgucket #tate mcgucket #emma may dixon #the book of bill #book of bill #gravity falls thoughts #young fiddleford #mabel pines #weirdmageddon #journal 3 #fiddemma #my thoughs #rambles

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gatheringbones · 1 year ago

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[“While my own associations to the word “conservative” are not great ones, this word best describes my attitude toward personal change. Just as we strive for change, we also strive to conserve what is most valuable and familiar in our selves. And in a society where we are constantly being pressured to improve, actualize, and perfect our selves, it is probably wise to question why we should change at all and who is prescribing the changes. Often we wish to get rid of some part of our selves—as we would an inflamed appendix—without recognizing the positive aspects of a particular “negative” trait or behavior. Few things are “all good” or “all bad.”

I recall a meeting of my women’s group many years back when we had a little too much to drink and went around the circle sharing what we liked the very best and the very least about each other. Interestingly, what was labeled “the best” and “the worst” for each person turned out to be one and the same, or more accurately, different variations on the same theme. If least liked was one woman’s tendency to hog the group spotlight, what was most liked was her energetic and entertaining personality. If least liked was another woman’s failure to be straightforward, direct, and spontaneous, what was most liked was her kindness, tact, and respect for the feelings of others. If another’s sense of entitlement and “Me first!” attitude pushed the group’s buttons, it was her ability to identify her own goals and “go for it” that was most admired. And so it went.

That evening I began to have a renewed appreciation for the inseparable nature of our strengths and weaknesses. Far from being opposites, they are woven from the same strands. This experience also reinforced a direction I was moving in professionally. Early on in my career as a therapist, I deemed it my job to help my patients rid themselves of certain qualities—stubbornness, silence, demandingness, oppositionalism, or any other trait or behavior that seemed to make their life (or my work) especially difficult. Or perhaps I wanted them to be closer to their fathers, more independent from their mothers, or more (or less) ambitious, self-seeking, self-disclosing, or assertive. I discovered, however, that I could be far more helpful when I was able to identify and appreciate the positive aspects of what was seemingly most negative. Paradoxically, this appreciation was what left my clients freer to get on with the business of change.”]

harriet lerner, from the dance of intimacy: a woman’s guide to courageous acts of change in key relationships

#harriet lerner #brainspace #currently reading

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alacants · 1 month ago

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The source of those rumors is a guy from Carlos's family's tennis club who is close to Kiko Navarro & knows some members of Carlos's team & is a regular collaborator with Punto de Break. According to him (he's said this before) Carlos & Juanki had a significant fight towards the end of 2023. But the claim that they nearly split up back then came from someone else who's less reliable.

As for 2025, the first guy says Carlos's dad has apparently not been happy with what Juanki is doing for a while... but it seems like Carlos doesn't agree. If things don't turn around after clay season his family might push for changes to the team.

From my perspective it's hard to understand the coaching strategy sometimes. Like you said Juanki's strength is not tactics but it seems like that's what Carlos really needs. This is just one example but I think it's crazy that he sat on court in silence for three sets without suggesting Carlos change his return position v Djokovic - Carlos eventually figured it out... in the last game of the match. And that was honestly the main factor in him losing. You could argue Juanki wanted him to figure it out himself but why on earth did they not discuss that beforehand when it also cost him massively at the Olympics (which Carlos said he didn't even think about before the match?)

I know Juanki's whole thing is treating team like family but there are a lot top coaches who say that after 5ish years a coach has nothing to give a player anymore & I wonder if their partnership has run its natural course. Carlos doesn't seem any more tactically equipped than he was two years ago & his technicals have mostly not improved either (return... backhand...).

thanks for this background - after replying to some earlier asks i dug around and saw some folks citing punto de break but not any specifics so this is appreciated. this does immediately increase the credibility to me bc i know pdb values their access and would not jeopardize it for nothing lmao. tho if it's like, a guy who sometimes writes for them and is mostly posting on his own time... i guess that's somewhere in the middle. (btw i still haven't seen anything other than reports of reports of reports? if you've got links i would very much appreciate them!)

as usual i think we're looking at two questions here: could carlos benefit from a different coach, and does carlos want a different coach.

i think we are all in agreement that for carlos to continue to develop as a player he needs something he's not getting at the moment, whether we're thinking in terms of incorporating a new addition to the team or making a wholesale switch. and i don't disagree with you at all about the natural lifespan of a coaching relationship. i've cited this before in discussions of juanki's own career (stuck with one guy; was it a mistake?) and of ferru's (split but waited too long; chalked the delay up to personal feelings).

but as long as it's presented to carlos as an all-or-nothing choice i don't think he's there yet and i would not be surprised to find out that his recent post-match declarations were a message. (tbc it very much MIGHT be an all-or-nothing choice, regulars here know i have plenty of thoughts about the academy lmao.)

the thing is that at this point the unknowns are still really, really risky. if you've had the same coach for most of your teen/adult years and you're ready to strike out and try something new, then that's exciting and stimulating and you're in a good place to make the best of it. but if you're dragging your feet? if you feel like you've been pushed? maybe someone else could give you more, but you have to be ready to receive it, you know? if you're an environment that you know enables you overall to perform at a high level (4 grand slams), where you feel overall confident and supported even if you're lacking direction in some big matches, where you get value from your coach's presence above and beyond the specifics of tennis--it is inherently going to be a risk to make a big change and if you're not all in on doing so the risks will be even more likely to find you.

that's why i keep saying is that i don't see it happening unless carlos' results gets much worse than this--or, potentially, unless a voice that holds as much weight with him as juanki's (so, his dad) gets strong enough that he listens to it. that might be where we're headed!

(incidentally i have feinted at this without saying so explicitly, but there is an unbelievable amount of money riding on carlos' success or lack thereof--i don't mean prize money, i mean his brand as a star--and it would be naive to pretend that's not a factor in decision-making. that's one of the reasons i've pointed to a sustained slump, rather than one or two disappointing slams. when the results start to affect the brand.)

just talked this over with friend who compared the ideal set-up to darren/simone for jannik--supervisory coach + tactical/court coach. if so, then the question is whether they come to that same conclusion and get the set-up in place before the decision is out of their hands, so to speak.

#and when ferru comes on board after his dc contract expires to beef up carlitos' positioning and problem-solving. WHAT THEN.#no no no keep him out of this that can only lead to disappointment #inside you are two dog-coded tennis players.#ask #juan carlos ferrero #carlos alcaraz #LATE-BREAKING ADDITION FROM CHAT: “andy murray coaches his favorite athlete. everyone is mad about it.”#anyway. it's funny that this is exactly the premise i laid out in figure skating au like 10 days ago. congrats to me ig??#wah sf in 30 minutes and i'm still here furiously typing away in the office TIME TO BOUNCE #meta

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visionkept · 1 month ago

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ANNOUNCEMENT: @visionkept has been archived !

It's finally the time ladies, gentlemen and nonbinary people ! This lovely blog that I have had since 2022 is finally reaching its end. VISIONKEPT is no more as Tomo will resurface back on a NEW BLOG !

Dear friends, thank you so much for so many amazing years in this silly corner of tumblr ( and especially grateful for everyone's patience ). I hope I get to see all of you in the next chapter. THE NEW AND IMPROVED TOMO blog will be COMING THIS MARCH ! Why not now ? Well, I'm taking a month and a week break from Tomo to focus on irl stuff like improving my portfolio and getting more active on the drawing side. Might open a graphic blog one day, who knows.

ANYWAYS, I have to thank you all once more for the support and for giving this character a chance. After almost four years I have finally found the direction I want to take my Tomo and for that, it's for the best to start fresh on a new blog as the new Tomo will have an entire different focus, a kind of REBOOT if you would like to call it that way. Worry not, it's the same idiot you love and care for BUT with a few tweaks in verses and lore.

UNDER THE READ MORE you'll find the NEW RULES AND CHANGES ON TOMO'S CHARACTER expected to be seen on the new blog ! Please ❤️ this post if you have read through them and you would still want to see me and my blond idiot around when I come back. If what you read wasn't of your liking, then it was a pleasure to cross paths with you even if it's for a fleeting moment ! ( Small note : i will slowly start following the people that liked this post on the last days of February ).

CHANGES IN TOMO'S CHARACTER:

Tomoya's name will be changed from "Aoki Tomoya" to Sunohara Tomoya ( yes, to match the spring aesthetic ).

Tomoya's character will be the current reincarnation of TAKAMINE THE MISTSPLITTER and their lore will be heavily tied to INAZUMA'S LORE.

Compared to this old blog where Tomo being alive is more of an AU, the new blog will have a MAIN VERSE where Tomo IS alive. Will be treated as if IN GAME they had been trapped in Ei's plane of Euthymia all this time right until Sumeru's interlude. They manage to break free after Wanderer's Irminsul incident. Currently they are an occasional Crux member that travels around all the nations. MORE TO BE EXPLAINED LATER.

NEW IMPORTANT TOMO LORE. Tomoya got CURSED by the ABYSS when they used to be Takamine and every reincarnation has it. MORE TO BE EXPLAINED LATER.

Tomo used to have a biological sister in the genshin verse. Well, not anymore lol. Making them an only child. At least they still got Chi - chan !

Unless I've approached you to be mains, ALL ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS WILL HAVE A RESET. Lil crushes or platonic bonds do not count on this reset.

NO EI "BOOBA SWORD" OR "KAZUHA WEED JOKE". Makes me uncomfortable and I think they are dumb. Next question.

IMPORTANT NEW RULES:

Will soft block, in some cases hard block, blogs that use AI for icons, edits, etc.

Won't follow blogs with voltro.n, south par.k, haz.bin hotel, and h.elluva boss characters. For multi muses, it will heavily depend on how present said characters are on the blogs.

WILL BE HEAVILY SELECTIVE WITH DOING ROMANTIC SHIPS. I require plotting, interactions and some ooc talk for it to happen. If the excitement isn't the same, it's likely for me to lose any interest and drop it.

EXCLUSIVITY REGARDING SHIPPING. Some do and some don't so I'll practice it IF my shipping partner does the same. If you have it specified in your rules then I'll follow through what's agreed.

WILL ASK FOR THE FOLLOWING GRAPHIC SHIP CONTENT TO BE TAGGED: k*zscr and y*eyato. Have become rather icky around those romantic ships thanks to a certain side of the fandom so I would rather not see any romantic art of them in my TL, so please tag it.

TMKZ WARNING. in this blog i never tagged it properly but on the new one, I'll tag ANY ROMANTIC tmkz art. also i won't be shipping MY tomo with ka.zuhas that got ships with wand.erers / sca.ras. i know i'm practically shooting my foot like this and i might never ship tm.kz here on tumblr but at this point idc anymore. i prefer being comfortable over having a bad taste in my mouth. thank you for your understanding.

TOMO WILL HAVE DIFFERENT VERSES BESIDES GENSHIN. hsr, pokemon, zzz, modern, royal au, even an au WITH TAKAMINE.

#no proof read. we die like men <----- something a fanfic would have in their tags #uuuh i think those are all?? will add if i missed anything #ANYWAYS HIHI. IT'S OFFICIAL. will reblog this post thrice a week until march comes #PSA.#ARCHIVED.#also .. . iMS! ! i will focus on those too. if u see me in your dms after months.. HIHI IT'S ME. LATE BUT STILL ME #but tomorrow tho cause me tired #shot every time berry writes 'new'

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astra-galaxie · 1 month ago

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Taking a Break

Hi everyone.

As you’ve probably guessed from the title, I am taking a break from the Criminal Case fandom. I’ll be gone for at least 2 weeks, maybe more if needed. While I’m gone, I will not be on any sites, at least not for CC-related reasons, updating any of my stories or posting new content on Tumblr. That means I won’t be checking notifications or even going on some platforms, and I will be leaving all the Discord servers I am in after posting this.

If you need to reach me (please don’t contact me about CC), I will occasionally check my direct messages on Discord.

2024 has so far been the worst year for my mental health, and to summarize how I feel in one sentence: I’m tired, and honestly, I have considered leaving CC more than once. I tried not to let my mental health affect my relationship with CC since it was like the light at the end of the tunnel for me. But with things calming down IRL, I’ve realized how straining CC was on my mental health and a person can only bend so much before they break, and I fear I will break if I do not step away…

I have been in the CC fandom for over 10 years, most of that time spent as a lurker and then as a writer who stayed in a little bubble isolated with my stories and rarely engaging with others. But over time, I came out of my bubble with the help of friends I made through CC and gained even more along the way. However, things have happened recently behind the scenes that are making me consider leaving the fandom, so it's time I take a break and focus on other things for a little while.

This is not goodbye forever. If you know me and my stories, you know my goal is to write every Criminal Case season from 1 to 8 (yes, I will be writing and hopefully improving City of Romance!). I’ve been at it for about 8 years, so I’m too far into things to give up!

But I have another goal, and no, I’m not referring to making headcanons for every CC character. It's to create a safe space for people to share their ideas, thoughts, and opinions without fearing ridicule. There is enough hate in the world, so why should I contribute to it when I can use my platform to be positive instead? It’s why, even when the idea might not be my cup of tea, or I might not understand parts of it, I still encourage people to pursue their ideas and focus on the good things. I hope people know that you can send me the craziest, crack-filled ideas (anonymously or not) and that I will do my best to give positive feedback.

I do give constructive feedback if people ask me to, but again, I’m no Goddess of Writing and Content Creation, so I would never expect people to take my words as gospel. I would never want people to feel they HAVE to change something in their creation just because I suggested it. I want people to be happy with THEIR work, just as I am with mine.

The biggest piece of advice I always give people when they ask for my help or opinion on their project(s) is to write about what makes you happy. While it is important to listen to feedback to learn what you can improve on, ultimately, YOU are the creator. YOU are putting in the time, effort and skills into the project, and if YOU are not happy with what you are creating, then you will lose interest in it. Create things you are happy and proud of. YOU are bringing your ideas to life and sharing them for others to enjoy, not the other way around.

You can never please everyone, but you can always please yourself.

But do NOT use that as an excuse to spam, rage bait, or terrorize others. Everyone is entitled to their likes and dislikes, but you should not force your opinions on others. If you see something you don’t like, just ignore/block it and keep scrolling. It takes much less time than writing a hate comment or making a call-out post. And while sometimes those are reasonably warranted, please still take the time to consider the repercussions of something before you post it and ask yourself: Is it really worth it?

If you’ve stuck with me this long, thank you for listening to my rambling.

Maybe it's naive or wishful thinking to hope people have learned from 2024 and will think before they post, but I hope at least some people will learn from their mistakes or those of others. I know I have learned from the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t think I’m perfect or anyone special because, at the end of the day, I’m just a writer who discovered a hobby for creating fanfiction when they were a teen and somehow gained a following of amazing fans and made fantastic friends along the way. I’m human and make mistakes, but it's from those mistakes that we grow and improve as people.

That said, I am signing off for now. My mental health is at rock bottom, and all I can focus on recently is negative. I keep thinking the worst of my writing and other content. All my mind has been telling me is that everything I make is terrible, and no one likes it. And while I know that is far from the truth, thanks to the amazing support and love I receive from all of you (shout out to everyone who keeps the CC fandom alive!) I must leave and stop focusing on everything before returning with a clear, more positive mindset.

I will see you all when I return. Will I not do anything CC related? Probably not, since you can take Astra out of CC, but you can't take CC out of Astra! But I will not be touching or even looking at my mainstream series while I’m gone, so don’t expect me to return with an update ready for it.

Thank you for listening.

Astra G.

#criminal case #sorry for tagging the main cc tag #astra speaks

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casper-spills · 18 days ago

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| Valentine's Day Special: Card Meanings In Love |

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! ♡

My blog has grown so much since I started doing online readings, and I am so incredibly grateful for all of your support! I'm super close to getting 500 followers, which is a HUGE achievement for me, so my next goal is to try to reach that number this month! If you'd like to help me reach that number, I would be so grateful for any reposts, added tags, or even a follow if you're new here and you like my content! Thank you all!

Those of you who have a valentine, I hope you have such a lovely weekend together! And those of you who don't, here's a gentle reminder to use this day to show those important to you that you love them!

Please enjoy this valentine's cheat sheet I've made for those who have started practicing tarot, or even those who have been doing it for a long time and would like a cheat sheet to refer back to ♡

Sincerely,

Cassy the friendly ghost ♡

P.S I'd like to know, in the comments, how you all celebrated valentine's day!

✦Masterlist ✦Paid Readings ✦Support me through Kofi

𓆩♡𓆪 Valentine's Discount 50% off!! 𓆩♡𓆪

50% off of all love readings! Happy Valentine's day!

Ends on March 1st

To use the discount, please click on the link below.

| KO-FI SHOP |

| MAJOR ARCANA |

0. Fool Upright: A new relationship, honeymoon phase, seeing through rose-tinted glasses, romantic holiday Reversed: Starting on the wrong foot, holding back, uncertainty, lack of chemistry

1. Magician Upright: Manifested love, bringing out the best in one another, dream come true, strong communication and commitment Reversed: Disingenuous love, lack of communication, mismatch, one-sidedness, manipulation

2. High Priestess Upright: Soulmate, twin flame, karmic, intuitive love, meant to be Reversed: Lack of balance, secrets, infidelity, living a double life, withdrawal

3. Empress Upright: Fertility, mother figure, princess treatment, parenthood, family, nurturing plants/animals together Reversed: Co-dependent, resentment, unresolved trauma left by parents, lack of self-love, unhealthy relationship

4. Emperor Upright: Father figure, stable and secure relationship, acts of service, physical displays of love, loyalty Reversed: Controlling, abusive relationship, guilt-tripping, jealousy, unresolved trauma left by parents

5. Hierophant Upright: Traditional relationship, spiritual, marriage, conventional relationship Reversed: Unconventional relationship, cohabitation, reversed gender roles, atheism, celibacy, LGBTQ+ relationship

6. Lovers Upright: Kindred spirits, intense love, harmonious love, mutual values and goals, soulmate, twin flame, compatible partners Reversed: Misalignment, disharmony, infidelity, lack of balance, one-sidedness

7. Chariot Upright: Successful relationship, silver lining, at the end of a difficult journey, gaining approval from others Reversed: Lack of direction, getting nowhere, unsuccessful relationship

8. Strength Upright: Strong connection, compassion, trauma bond, loyalty, taming someone who couldn't settle Reversed: Feeling unworthy of love, co-dependency, unresolved trauma, projection, toxic relationship, narcissism

9. Hermit Upright: Celibacy, chastity, self-improvement, lack of connection, not ready for a relationship Reversed: Fear of intimacy, unresolved trauma, self-indulgent, unhealthy relationship, feeling lonely in the relationship, lack of self-improvement

10. Wheel Upright: Luck in love, karmic connection, adventurous, unpredictable, optimism Reversed: Bad luck in love, inability to break cycles, rough patch, lack of chemistry, lack of change

11. Justice Upright: Pros and cons list, marriage, doing the right thing, balance, healthy relationship, treating one another fairly Reversed: Dishonesty, lack of accountability, caught cheating, unfairness, broken promises

12. Hanged Man Upright: Contentment, going with the flow, cohabiting, stagnation Reversed: Holding on, fear of being alone, indecisiveness, reality check, stalling

13. Death Upright: Break up, change, endings, walking away, divorce, acceptance, ego death, setting boundaries Reversed: Resistant to change, negative intense emotions, obsession, clinging onto a relationship

14. Temperance Upright: True balance, bring peace to one another, healthy love, growing old together, harmony Reversed: Internal imbalance, antagonistic, anger issues, abusive relationship, unresolved issues

15. Devil Upright: Unhealthy foundation, obsession, lust, unhealthy attachments, sex addiction, love bombing, manipulation, toxic/violent abuse Reversed: Therapy, healing from unhealthy patterns, breaking free, going your separate ways to heal. shadow work

16. Tower Upright: Fundamental sudden changes, breakup, new person coming in, traumatic event, chaos Reversed: Averting disaster, ripping off the band-aid, built-up resentment, addressing the issue

17. Star Upright: Inspiring one another, friends to lovers, laid-back/unconventional relationship, one of a kind, hope and joy Reversed: Having doubts, cynical mindset, manifesting negativity, losing your spark, uninspired relationship

18. Moon Upright: Uncertainty, paranoia, lack of communication, repressed emotions, misunderstandings, lack of clarity Reversed: Clarity, seeing the light, in touch with emotions, releasing paranoia, communication

19. Sun Upright: Joy and happiness, strong resolution, passion, fun, light of your life, building a future together, plans to have a family, warmth Reversed: Pessimism, stagnation, canceled engagement wedding, difficulties seeing a long-term connection

20. Judgement Upright: Motivation, changing for the better, rebirth, learning from one another, commitment Reversed: Lacking awareness, criticizing one another, lack of compromise, shifting blame

21. World Upright: Full package, perfect couple, serious relationship, the one, mature relationship Reversed: Unfinished business, feeling that something is missing, settling when you're dissatisfied

| MINOR ARCANA |

☁︎ 𝒔𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔 ☁︎

Ace Upright: Head over heart, honesty, fairness, strong intellectual connection, strong resolve, accepting one another's quirks Reversed: Lack of honesty, broken promises, no longer recognizing one another, judging one another's quirks, conflict, misjudgement of character

Two Upright: Pros and cons list, an impasse, misaligned goals/values, difficult decisions, lack of vulnerability, getting cold feet, being torn between potential partners Reversed: Indecision, overwhelming emotions, confusion, procrastination, avoidance, running away, information overload

Three Upright: Heartbreak, emotional breakup, grief, divorce, separation, infidelity, betrayal Reversed: Releasing pain, forgiveness, healing the relationship, doing right by one another, reconciliation, getting back together

Four Upright: Peaceful and diplomatic relationship, no drama, mutual friends/support system, healing from past relationships Reversed: Exhaustion, stress, breaking point, taking a time out, stagnation, contemplation

Five Upright: Conflict, you vs. them, hostility, disagreements, self-sabotaging behavior, hot and cold, contradictions, abusive relationship Reversed: Silent treatment, reconciliation, attempt to compromise, resentment, sabotaging progress

Six Upright: End of a difficult time, healing, progression, long distance, planning to visit one another, entering a new chapter in your relationship Reversed: Overthinking, lack of progress/foresight, unfinished business with an ex/third party, social media/gaming addiction, difficulties in online communication

Seven Upright: Cheating, betrayal, getting away with it, strategic deception, external influences, taking the relationship for granted, manipulation Reversed: Dihonesty, white lies, lack of authenticity, avoiding confrontation, imposter syndrome, self-deceit, settling with an incompatible connection

Eight Upright: Self-entrapment in the relationship, limiting beliefs, reluctance, second-guessing yourself, feeling stuck, negative thinking, backed into a corner Reversed: New perspectives, seeing things for what they are, sense of freedom, overcoming negative thinking, addressing the problem

Nine Upright: Mental illness, trauma symptoms, difficulties maintaining the relationship, depression, anxiety, nightmares, abandonment issues Reversed: Road to recovery, supportive partner, addressing trauma, releasing fear, healing together, therapy/couples therapy

Ten Upright: Painful endings, divorce, breakup, separation, stabbed in the back, betrayal, victim mentality, drama, attention-seeking, rumors, clarity Reversed: Resisting an inevitable breakup, relief, recovery, blessing in disguise, escaping an unhealthy relationship, starting over

Page Upright: Banter, petty arguments, youthful relationship, flirting, clear intentions, hook up, unserious relationship, strong communication, adventure Reversed: All talk no action, mind games, situationship, lack of boundaries, lack of foresight, vague promises

Knight Upright: Moving fast, blunt and direct communication, speaking and acting impulsively, ambitious, optimistic Reversed: Burnout, controlling, verbal abuse, jumping through hoops, love bombing, overbearing, lack of romance, rushed relationship

Queen Upright: Healthy boundaries, directness, independence, no PDA, distant on the outside loving on the inside, mature, not beating around the bush, pragmatic relationship Reversed: Cold-hearted, over critical, selfish, lack of emotional intelligence, cruel, hurtful, bitterness, spitefulness, toxic relationship, absent mother

King Upright: Maintaining high standards, fatherhood, family, quiet love, acts of service, practicality, honest communication, good listening Reversed: Manipulation, aggression, violence, infertility, absent father, abusive relationship, gaslighting, misuse of power

🕯 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔 ��

Ace Upright: New love opportunities, fertility, pregnancy, fiery potential, positive sex life, passion, bringing out the best in one another, flirtatious Reversed: Lack of passion or spark, negative sex life, hot and cold, short-lived fling, too much or too little, hypersexuality

Two Upright: Future planning, visiting favorite spots, traveling together, discovering things together, energizing one another, longing for one another, chasing for love Reversed: Lack of direction, commitment issues, business trip, one leaving the other behind to travel, fear of the unknown, stagnant relationship, feeling held back

Three Upright: Moving abroad together, long-distance relationship, optimistic about the future, growing together, meant to be, divine timing, strong potential Reversed: Feeling held back, failed long-distance relationship, inability to imagine future with partner, unprepared for commitment, lack of identity, canceled travel plans

Four Upright: Celebration, anniversary, baptism, wedding, engagement, baby shower, new chapter in relationship, coming home from trip, family, feeling at home with partner Reversed: Unhappy family life, neglecting relationship/family, canceled/postponed celebrations, family unaccepting of relationship, lack of stability, false twin flame, karmic connection

Five Upright: Conflict, pent-up aggression, resentment, arguments, ego getting in the way, feeling unheard, makeup sex, competitiveness Reversed: Suppressing temper, unspoken tensions, unresolved resentments, abusive relationship, fear of confrontation, alternatively; playing the devil's advocate/bickering as a form of foreplay

Six Upright: Showing one another off, sharing success, supporting one another, proud relationship, power couple, turning heads Reversed: Inflated egos, narcissism, depleted sense of self, making one another jealous by adding competition, unsupportive of goals

Seven Upright: Challenged in the relationship, challenged by a third party, defending the relationship, judgment from outsiders, being on guard Reversed: Giving up on the relationship, others successfully coming between partners, exhaustion, feeling defeated, overwhelmed, loss of trust

Eight Upright: Moving fast, long-distance relationship, travel, swept off your feet, passionate connection, love at first sight, immediate click, compatible love language, sexual compatibility Reversed: Slow progress, losing momentum in relationship, lack of romance, traveling alone, falling out of love, incompatible love language, sexual incompatibility

Nine Upright: Pursuing a relationship with courage, persistence, being on guard, negative past relationships, fundamental differences between partners, differing core beliefs, overcoming differences/challenges Reversed: Losing the will to fight for relationship, exhaustion, beaten down, no more energy to argue, feeling judged by one another, paranoia, defensiveness

Ten Upright: Carrying extra responsibilities, one-sided relationship, taking a partner for granted, karmic connection, burdening relationship Reversed: Letting go of burdens, compromises, carrying burdens as a team, offloading stresses, inviting fun back into the relationship

Page Upright: Playful relationship, adventurous, outdoor activities, active couple, surprise pregnancy, initial spark, going to gym together, limitless potential Reversed: Losing the spark, lack of enthusiasm, lack of chemistry, fickleness, indecisiveness, immaturity

Knight Upright: Rebellious romance, free-spirited, intense passion, adventure, enjoying the chase, moving fast, showing off a partner, charming, sexual compatibility Reversed: Fear of missing out, impatience, inflated egos, infidelity, false commitment, rushing into commitment

Queen Upright: Colorful relationship, never boring, spiritual bond, sense of one another's feelings, telepathic bond, social butterflies, confidence in one another Reversed: Unbalanced emotions, entitlement, lack of spiritual bond, detached from one another, unauthentic, lack of sense of self, introversion, lack of confidence

King Upright: Peacocking, dress/walk/talk to impress, relentless flirting, mature relationship, directness, adventurous, wine and dine Reversed: Inflated egos, manipulative, overly forceful, infidelity, jealousy, possessiveness, double standards, drama queen/king, overly high expectations

꒦꒷ 𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒔 ꒷꒦

Ace Upright: New relationship, compassionate, creative expressions of love, unconditional love, caring, pure intentions, true love Reversed: Losing faith in love, difficulties maintaining relationships, repressing emotions, unrequited love

Two Upright: Mutual attraction, unified love, partnership, marriage, mutual support, soulmate, pure love, long-term relationship, contracts, yin & yang, star-crossed lovers Reversed: Breakups, disharmony, incompatibility, resentment, losing sense of self, obsessive behaviors

Three Upright: Celebration, engagement, wedding, baby shower, anniversary, friends and lovers, soul tribe, one another's good luck charms Reversed: Short-term relationship, fizzling out attraction, canceled celebrations, discord with one another's support systems, lack of friendship

Four Upright: Contemplation, regretting past mistakes in love, missing out in love, self-absorbed, woe-is-me mentality, caught up in a fantasy, taking the relationship for granted Reversed: Grateful for relationship, conclusions, living in the moment, checked in for alignment, appreciating the good things, looking at the positives

Five Upright: Regrets in love, failed relationships, pessimism about love, loss of a loved one, heartbreak, grief, isolation, separation, harboring feelings for an ex Reversed: Moving on from past relationships, letting go of regrets, new possibilities, clean slate, healing

Six Upright: Friends to lovers, playful romance, shared childhood memories, high school sweethearts, past life lovers, healing inner child Reversed: Lacking playfulness in relationship, stuck in the past, harboring feelings for an ex, immaturity, recreating romantic experiences, inability to appreciate a new partner

Seven Upright: Multiple potential partners, fantasizing about love, rose-tinted glasses, seeking external romantic validation, discontentment Reversed: Reality check on love, confronting issues within relationship, being realistic, overwhelmed by choices in love

Eight Upright: Abandonment issues, abandoning a relationship/partner, walking away from arguments/confrontations, drifting apart, avoidant behavior, emotionally distant, escapism Reversed: Trying one more time, not knowing when to walk away, fear of abandonment, indecision, complacent to unhealthy habits

Nine Upright: Wish come true, fulfilling relationship, contentment, sensual & romantic relationship, compatible partners, manifested love, healthy relationship Reversed: Unfulfilling, dissatisfaction, lack of gratitude for relationship, high expectations on love, falling out of love, materialism

Ten Upright: Divine love, blissful relationship, harmony, alignment, sexual compatibility, emotional fulfillment, long-term relationship, family, ultimate happiness, completing one another's lives Reversed: Struggling relationships, misalignment, lack of commitment, dissatisfaction, discontent, emotional disconnection

Page Upright: Romantic proposals, pregnancy, engagements, secret admirer, puppy love, cupid, head over heels, wearing heart on sleeve, creative expressions of love, youthful romance Reversed: Doubts, immaturity, canceled engagements, obsessive attraction, codependency, limerence, lack of boundaries

Knight Upright: Creative expressisons of love, charmed, swept off your feet, proposals, affectionate, knight in shining armor, prince charming, romeo Reversed: Unrealistic, jealousy, paranoia, canceled engagements, negative patterns, mind games, manipulation, player, infidelity, misogyny

Queen Upright: Emotional stability, compassion, spiritual connection, nurturing relationship, natural mother figure, family, drama-free Reversed: Lack of balance, emotional issues, emotional unavailability, couple's therapy, cold, distant, lack of boundaries, clingy, unhealthy relationship

King Upright: Emotional balance, natural father figure, mature relationship, diplomatic, balance, compassion Reversed: Emotional manipulation, cunning, emotional tug of war, controlling, possessive, smothering, clingy, sexual violence, abusive relationship

˗ˏˋ 𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒍𝒆𝒔 ˎˊ˗

Ace Upright: New relationship, manifested love, luck in love, meeting by chance, long term, security and stability Reversed: Missing out on romance and love, starting on the wrong foot, sexual incompatibility, being together for material wealth, lack of planning

Two Upright: Adaptable relationship, financial decisions, mortgage, loans, investing together, prioritising the relationship, opposites attract, passionate and practical Reversed: Lack of passion and fun in the relationship, juggling too many tasks, financial stress, imbalance, disorganization, unhealthy dynamic

Three Upright: Working as a team, stability, friends and lovers, co-creating a family/business, having the same goals, learning from one another, creativity, sharing interests Reversed: Disharmony, lack of cooperation, inflexible, stubbornness, having opposite goals, working alone, lack of friendship, no shared interests, lack of creativity

Four Upright: Control, jealousy, possessiveness, codependancy, unhealthy dynamic, overly dominant and overly submissive, micromanaging social media platform, hoarding money Reversed: Developing a healthy dynamic, flexible finances, friends to lovers, healing togther, creating balance, dealing with negative feelings and habits

Five Upright: Hopelessness, abandonment, cold, distant, financial struggles, health struggles, unhealthy communication, blaming one another, worlds apart Reversed: Overcoming struggles, developing healthy communication, couples therapy, addressing the problem

Six Upright: Gift giving, generous to one another, balanced give and take, humanitarian belifs, treating one another as equals Reversed: One-sided charity, lack of balance, taking advantage, unbalanced household responsibilities, lack of effort on one side, resentment

Seven Upright: Long-term relationship, investing in the future, buying a home, pregnancy, marriage, traditional relationship Reversed: Rough patch, stagnancy, lack of growth in the relationship, impatience on one side, rushing the relationship

Eight Upright: Dedication, commitment, financial security, acts of service, healthy lifestyles, working at the same job together Reversed: Workaholic tendencies, neglecting the relationship, complacency, laziness, boredom

Nine Upright: Stability, freedom to be independent, secure relationship, pursuing personal goals, supportive partner, abundance, luxurious living, financial security, artistic couple Reversed: Financial instability, marrying for money, materialistic relationship, dishonest about finances, lack of sense of self, immaturity

Ten Upright: Wealthy family, long-term success, traditional family values, realistic relationship, pets, close family, generational wealth Reversed: Arguing over money, domestic disputes, financial burdens, unconventional relationship, irresponsible behavior

Page Upright: Loyalty, strong foundations, good potential in relationship, marriage/parent material, new potential opportunities in love Reversed: Difficulties finding love, lack of maturity in relationship, lack of fun and passion, laziness, lack of experience in love

Knight Upright: Faithful, loyal, committed, becoming exlcusive, realistic relationship, going slow Reversed: Dull relationship, lacking passion, too serious, moving too slowly, too rigid, controlling

Queen Upright: Practical relationship, the feminine role is the provider, working mother, indulging in luxury, feeling like home to one another, physical touch love language Reversed: Work-home conflict, social climber, jealous, moody, chaotic approach to relationships and finances, neglectful wife/mother, manipulation

King Upright: The masculine role is the provider, working father, pragmatic, committed, abundant finances, security, expresses love through actions Reversed: Obsession with wealth and status, stubborn, controlling behavior, lacking a foundation, using resources to manipulate, impatient father/husband

♥Thank you for your support!♥

Dividers by @cafekitsune, @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

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