#that card hates me so bad
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(third spell is also lvl 10)
went completely insane with this one
its literally my fav lilia card so i couldnt just leave it like that
#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#spent literally all my friendship items on him#lilia vancunt im broke now i hope youre happy#and knight sebek/summer lilia....#dies of death#twst salt#also spent all my books honey jars money ssr uncap items#thankfully i had like 23 ssr uncap items so it wasnt that big of a deal#and in 100 pulls i didnt get a single lab rook#that card hates me so bad
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Odd one out at the gallery, wake up
#Based on that one title card from broccoli arc#My friend broccoli arc ilyyy#Okay I could’ve done better!! But like I needed to get this vision out of my head fast so if it looks bad#It is#anyways#mob psycho 100#mp100#broccoli arc#shigeo kageyama#psycho helmet#Me when goofy ahh rendering#my art#fanart#silverlombaxwitch#I hate how I drew mob I have very inconsistent art style ughhh
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toot toot!
#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me#he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious#lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy#i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN#it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close#suntails#i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card#and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier#then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week#so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad
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"but you see......this is where my story ends."
"then, let's start it―― right now! your next story!"
as if you're opening a present every second.
as if i'm searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone. 🎪
#mellohi draws stuff#emu otori#project sekai#prsk#pjsk#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#otori emu#emu ootori#ootori emu#our happy ending#kirapipi kirapika#who up happying they ending (it is tomorrow)#are you ready to DIE wonderlands x showtime#kirapipi kirapika actually means so so much to me to say it's the best would be an understatement it's perfect this event is perfect#oh my god oh my god#THEY COMISSIONED NYANYANNYA OF NAMARI HIME FAME TO MAKE A SONG FOR EMU OTORI#LIKE WHAT. WHAT. COLOPAL ARE YOU STUPID.#he literally tuned meiko for both versions of the song you can tell it's the exact same#i was NOT expecting vocaloid6 ohh my god nyanyannya you crazy son of a bitch#also kirapipi kirapika came out on my birthday like waow thank you colopal for the birthday present what if i gave myself a lobotomy#I HATE OUR HAPPY ENDING I HOPE WONDERLANDS X SHOWTIME EXPLODE#sorry the demons BUT LIKE#UEUEUEUEUEUEU#ue ue ue (sound of crying)#feels bad that i can't spend my entire 60k crystals on this event since i'm only doing like one maybe two pulls#but third anniversary is around the corner and i need a failsafe for tsukasa's card#like if i save up between their releases and get lucky with it then maybe i can get most tsukasa cards in game#this might end horribly but there's like two-three months between each so if i really put my mind to it i can achieve greatness#reruns might throw me off but it's fiiine so long as i get like knightkasa and lilykasa
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Pochontas (1995)
wiggins meta under the cut
here's the thing: ratcliffe is constantly being explained as a representation of the forces of greed and racism and colonialism/imperialism (arguably this can translate to capitalism as well), but what about wiggins? what is his role? he most obviously plays the role of the Fool, and provides a character for ratcliffe to have consistent dialogue with. but what does he represent?
i have a theory that wiggins is meant to represent the ethnic english, the culture of the english, and the willing servitude of the english to the evils of imperialism/greed/racism in exchange for a sense of superiority and security. wiggins is, paradoxically, both above and below the settlers in terms of status. he's a servant, but he serves the highest ranking man there. he's a yes-man, but he's also brutally truthful (spelling out for the audience ratcliffe's motivations and the immorality of the settler's presence and actions).
wiggins is also a caricature of the english to a T: he resembles many a self-styled stereotype of the typical englishman in english comedies. he's prim, a bit fussy, obsessed with gardening, a bit oblivious and silly and somewhat incessantly cheery. he's drawn, also, like an english caricature. his teeth and upturned nose in particular stand out to me.
the line "and he came so highly recommended" from each of these characters is so fascinating because of this because it highlights the mutual consent of these two allegorical characters to be involved with each other and subscribe to a master-servant dynamic, wherein ratcliffe has invested in wiggins to be useful and efficient, and wiggins has invested in ratcliffe to provide security both financially and socially. ratcliffe find's wiggins's personality (the cultural quirks of the english) trite and unnecessary. wiggins found ratcliffe's extremity to ultimately be outside of his own best interests once it could no longer protect him (ratcliffe being no longer able to provide the status and security once he was put in chains).
we can't be sure if wiggins has truly learned a lesson, however. he remains in America with some of the other settlers instead of returning to his homeland. we don't know what he intends to do there, or why he's made this choice. perhaps he's going to try turning over a new leaf and assimilate to a new society. perhaps he's going to try and influence his way into a similar position as before. in any case, we know wiggins's core motive is always going to be self-preservation. what that looks like without ratcliffe and the protections of aggressive imperialism, we simply don't know.
#i'm saying post-movie pocahontas has her work cut out for her with guys like wiggins still around#these two and their dynamic sits in my brain like mold fr fr#pocahontas (1995)#disney's pocahontas#disney ratcliffe#disney wiggins#ratcliffe#wiggins#governor ratcliffe#pocahontasedit#pocahontasgif#disneyedit#disneygif#fyeahpocahontas#disneyfeverdaily#disney animation#help i'm hyperanalyzing disney's pocahontas again#queso*edit#queso*gif#the ending of pocahontas is tragic in more than one way and this is one of those ways#like. there's no end to the conflict. not really#they got rid of one very aggressive problem in sending ratcliffe back#but a good number of the settlers are staying and the only powhatan they respect in any capacity is pocahontas#and the powhatan are sure as shit not gonna trust the settlers. they'll follow the chief's lead#on establishing good will first but i can't imagine they'll like it#peace is 100% not achieved and the lovers don't get to be together and pocahontas has to give up a LOT to shoulder a massive burden#and on top of it you got guys like wiggins who are total wild cards honestly#whose motives for staying are SUPER unclear#godddddd this movie fucking destroys me so bad i love it i hate it i want to eat i t
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hes horrible but at least hes pretty
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#all i do is make sims hate them and make them over and over until i die i never play the game im in CAS hell 24/7#mad that the texture on this shirt is so bad?? i opened it in s4s and it looks fine? i KNOW its not my graphics card#everything else looks fine so idk.......the compression is killing me tho#ANYWAY had to make brooklyn hot(ter) so he at least looks like hes worthy of maia looking his way#i NEED to learn blender he NEEDS his snakes its killing me settling for locs
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I think red wouldn't be a picky eater at all. In fact he's the kind of person who will eat anything you give them. As an adult at least. While living alone on a mountain you don't have That much variation or ability to have particularly fancy meals. So he got used to eating whatever he could. He'd have things he likes more, but will eat most things without complaint.
I hc green as having arfid so he is the opposite. The autism arfid combo has him eating a very restricted diet which doesn't help the fact that he often gets too focused on his work and forgets to take breaks to eat n stuff. He doesn't realize how hungry he is until the end of the day.
When he lived alone and was under a lot of stress+The Guilt he was extra averse to trying new things. When you are fighting mental demons you do not want the additional stress of eating something outside of your safe foods and potentially ruining your appetite for the next however long.
After he and red live together, it's a lot easier to try new things. Since red isn't particularly strict/picky with his diet, if green tries something and ends up hating it he feels less bad about wasting food because his beloved wife red will eat it for him. He can also try new things by stealing a bite or two of something red is eating without the pressure of having to finish a whole plate of it.
Red doesn't mind. They are very supportive of each other. He also just likes anything green does ever so sharing and trying new foods with him is just another fun activity.
It is also cute to imagine despite red eating most things and it seeming like hes ambivalent about it all, green still notices which things red enjoys even if it's barely noticable to anyone else. He will buy snacks and stuff that red likes to give him next time he sees them. Id say red would buy green things he likes too but red is jobless in all my posts.
#hes greens outside boyfriend#inverse of the stay at home girlfriend trend from awhile ago#greens beautiful wife who has no formal education no work experience no job no bank account no retirement fund#this is all okay though. bc green is putting their expenses on Oaks tab anyways#he has his own income and savings but as compensation for the rough childhood he can use oaks money#and whats greens is reds.#it's THEIR credit card under oaks name#trainer red#green oak#blue oak#reguri#pokemon headcanons#also i am an autist with arfid so im speaking from#My heart. my worst restriction is i hate 98% of soup and stews. i just dont fuck eith it#people look st me in horror when i say i hate soup. my bad#too many textures and ingredients.difficukt to est in specific portions and ratios
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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i understand the impulse to be nice to new cast members and give them a chance to find their voice and find writers who get it and figure out how to translate what they're good at into the show's format etc etc but sometimes i do think we need to be haters a little bit.
#all of that to say. j*ne w*ckline is perfectly fine in her own update bits. the awkward thing is just her style. However.#she hasn't figured out how to translate that into a sketch comedy ensemble so she just brings down any sketch she's in#a sketch will be going so well and then she comes in eyes glued to the cue cards and talks so fast and with such bizarre intonation#that i wish EYE had the cue cards so i could understand what the line was. sorry!!!!#other cast members have done the awkward thing (kyle mooney my beloved) but it just fit better with the rest of the cast idk#sometimes watching jane feels like watching an actor pretending to be a bad actor ykwim.#i hate that all the cast members i have (i think) valid criticisms of are women. that sucks so much.#i want to support women in comedy i really do but j*ne w*ckline and chl*e f*neman are making that very difficult for me lmao#idk maybe if they could be funnier. idk.#snl
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I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know I’m not a good friend#but i think it’s trauma related#and I know that’s not an excuse#but a reason#and I’m just… also tired of people leaving me#I don’t strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then like….. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and like…. yeah…. that’s part of life#but I’m just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#don’t get me wrong!!#but I know I’m not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. don’t get me wrong#but I wish I could just… go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far just…. ignore it oof.#it’s just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so it’s best to tumblr rant#I’ve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I don’t hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and it’s throwing me off a bit#I mean it’s right on time really… I have a gender crisis almost every four years…
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FUCK YEAH YOU WON'T SEE ME GETTING OUT OF A DAY AT WORK WITHOUT A SUCCESSFUL DEALLL
#blah blah blah.#my tw*tter is DOWN DOWN right now guys so YOU 🫵 will now see me screaming about my new job here#4 days at it and I'm NEVER going home without a paid deal 😁😁😁 which I thought would be impossible but look at us!!!#the daily goal is still 5 paid deals a day but deadass no one manages that except this one fucking guy.#so I'm doing surprisingly fine????? at my first real week working????#crazy#I thought I would hate it and suck at it but it's not that bad#considering all the nightmare jobs I had in kitchens and restaurants and all that#I've had men 4x my size screaming at my face for 10 min late orders. being yelled at by old people with credit card dept is NOTHING!
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When school starts back up again im gonna search for people who will want to hang and watch movies
#twirls mustache thiughtfully#i need to get better at being comfortable with doing mundane things#hanging out makes me anxious Like i gotta show up with my best#i gotta chill out#whenever im hanging with someone new the same 3 things go through my head#1 Is this person getting bored 2 Do they think i dislike them or 3 the worst one that haunts me Do they think im just some clueless twerp#i hate the thought of coming across as clingy or childish#i feel like it;s so obvious when i like someone or want to be around them and That means i need to be shot or something#i feel like#the people i want to hang out with the most are the most likely to raise an eyebrow at the fact#i saw a group of people with skateboards heading out late one night and was like god damn i wish i could go#i know that the the only one stopping me is myself#but idk. i feel like i’m not cool enough for most people#so just being Me isnt enough to convince someone to want me around#kinda had a cool experience that night my roommate invited me to hang with her friends#it chipped away a little at that fear#because i thought everyone in there was so cool and they seemed to like me just as much#and i was just being myself. certain things made it a little easier#they told me i had a bed whenever i wanted it And to come over whenever i wanted to#the guy who intimidated me the most ended up coming to the park and feeding ants with me and it was great#i saw him again later that day and he went eebieeee!! and he sounded so happy to see me#i feel like i’m being socialized from square one. i’ve been such a recluse up till the last couple of years#IM BAD AT SMALLTALK TOO. ABNORMALLY BAD. i feel like im reading shit off of a card#can we just skip all that#i miss my friend from highschool who tried to sell me on cannibalism when we’d barely spoken#here i stand 5’4 psychologically naked and trembling in my jesse pinkman ass getup#does anyone want to fix me#even after trimming ghis down it still feels crazy vulnerable. whatever#i’ll probably just delete this all later anyways#single angelic note
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hooohoooohoooooo i think i need to go back to therapy im starting to have Thoughts that im too stupid for again
#sometimes i really think id like to feel something without stopping to analyse whether its fair and logical in this particular situation#but then i see someone else do that and get so frustrated and annoyed because can you not SEE how its useless and unwarranted and illogical#which is bad! this is a bad reaction! which i am beating away with a stick obv but its still there and i hate it#i wasnt always like this is the thing and i feel like its actively getting worse which is what worries me#i realised some time ago i dont actually go to therapy to Get Better. that is not really my intention deep down.#i dont need the therapist to tell me why im like this because im actually very good at connecting those dots and i like doing it actually#i feel like a private detective with a board of clues and red string. its fun. what i actually really go to therapy for#is to have someone whom i can PAY to listen to me do it because only this way i wont feel guilty about it lol#and it helps that it's a person who's smarter than me and has some actual academic knowledge that i lack#also ngl id like someone to Explain some things to me cause baby i just dont fucking get it. i dont *understand* why other people do that#and ngl its driving me crazy. its like trying to play a card game where i dont know any fucking rules and everyone else does#but the moment i ask for some i get bitchslapped. so all i know is what ive managed to Observe and its enough to survive ig#but you never know when you'll do something that seems completely normal to you and everyone at the table will start tweaking#its like the older i get the less i understand and its Weird
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She is so sexy and I am so lesbian
#I could fucking cry too I wanted to drive up to see this so bad :(#it’s literally only like 3 hours!!!#but god hates me and gave me Covid so I can’t go look at Jasmine in lingerie :(#drag race#rpdr#rupauls drag race#drag race 14#rpdr 14#rupauls drag race 14#jasmine kennedie#transition was so good for her like oh my god#she’s so fucking sexy#her face card does NOT decline#and this lingerie is so cute#anyways I am gay and mad I’m not in Seattle rn
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um today is so fucking weird
#getting love from all the wrong ppl today wtf is going onnnn haha#the second one was actually really nice but no#I feel like I’ve lived 2 days in one already#and the first one reminds me maybe I should delete fb I hate it anyway#even if I deactivate it though I think messenger stays#bb boy u lost#the courage is admirable though#like actually cus huh but it’s not me haha#also just debated math at my swamped busy ass lil job for 15 mins I'm already done#I always find it so funny when ppl don’t assume my jobs a SHIT show busy it’s like feral in here can’t be down asiles bad#all these waspy rich bored ppl want 500 christmas cards and mugs and to fight#with no staff or incompetent ones lol#it’s ok it’s my fault for being here still hahah#I’d probably be so bored at a slow place and not under constant trauma#but also something better will come along#and the slow work I’ve been doing for me will someday come together if its suppose to#my bed missing me so bad rn and it's MUTUAL#dislike this cold dark weather and dealing with so many humans#wanna be in me room
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Spontaneously remembering how to knit so I can make. fish scarf
#that fucking fish that i hate!!! wish i could've gotten something softer but nothing else really matched the color i was looking for#iirc i still have cotton from when i did lovebug's outfit so i can make some of the underclothes#i'll have to rush the coat a little bc i have no way to get out to the fabric store without ubering and. i'm already gonna have to do that#for work l m a o; it's on a credit card so i'm not struggling too bad but still#i have. plans. and i have like a month and a half to execute them#i NEED to get moving with gabe's stuff hfjfshd working on the helmet and in a position to start actually doing some outfit tests#seeing where i need to work and what i want#dude. dude i waited too long and now i have to actually make angel wings bc i didn't grab them at walmart :///#whatever. give me freedom to shape them. oh fuck i just remembered the swords#i am gonna fight for my life this november but i'm under pseudo house arrest so. may as well lmao#shai speaks
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