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franniebanana · 3 years ago

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CQL Rewatch - Ep 17

For once, I agree with Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian probably spends way too much time thinking about alcohol. Yanli is, as usual, completely delighted by him.

I can’t really even imagine what this would be like for Wei Wuxian. Coming back to the place that used to be your home to search for who you consider your brother, having no idea if he’s dead or alive, and if he’s alive, what state he’s in. Every place houses one memory, if not hundreds. Wei Wuxian spent the better part of his live at Lotus Pier, over a decade, and in the span of a few hours, it’s just gone. I want to say that it gets burned in the book (but I can’t say that for certain)—however, that does make more sense when later on in CQL, they talk about Jiang Cheng rebuilding. Honestly, rebuilding doesn’t really make sense if all they had to do was replace a few doors and hang some more Jiang Clan lotuses.

You know what? I actually kind of love how this parallels a later scene. I never really thought of it before: we have Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning, and Jiang Cheng (when later on we swap out Jiang Cheng for Lan Wangji), sitting in a boat near Lotus Pier. Here we get Wei Wuxian, having been forcibly expelled from his home, while very much in charge of Jiang Cheng, who is unconscious. Later on, Wei Wuxian is unconscious, again having been forced to leave what once was his home. In that case, he makes the decision to leave, for one because he is unwelcome, but also because he doesn’t need that home anymore. He has a new idea of home with Lan Wangji, who loves and supports him.

This comparison is interesting because you see that Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji (and even Wen Ning, for goodness’s sake) are willing to cradle their loved ones, risk life and limb for them, and Jiang Cheng just isn’t. Even when he goes looking for Wei Wuxian later on, it’s predicated more on his need for revenge than for saving Wei Wuxian. And again there, we see that his motive and Lan Wangji’s motive are very, very different.

Worst hangover ever. Omg can you imagine being asleep for days and then waking up with your head on a wooden table? Can you imagine the back ache you’d have from being hunched over all that time? Oh my god, truly, it sounds horrific. And this is what innocent little Wen Ning did, hahahaha. Not that I feel bad for any of these assholes—they definitely deserved it. If Wen Ning had gotten caught, though, he would have been executed for treason, I’m sure. It shows you what a huge risk that kid took to help Wei Wuxian and his family—a huge risk. And not only did he risk his own life, he also risks his sister’s life, because he begs her to help as well. It’s unsurprising that Wen Qing is so upset by this, since her one goal is to keep her brother safe, and then he goes and puts both of their lives on the line.

I like how this whole little scene, from the moment Wen Qing steps out and sees Wen Ning and the others standing there, to the point when she tells the guards to stand down, has no dialogue. Neither Wei Wuxian nor Wen Qing speak, but it’s clear that Wei Wuxian is threatening hers and Wen Ning’s lives if she gives them up here. They could have added some whispered dialogue or whatever, but I’m glad they did not, because it’s so powerful—seeing Wei Wuxian shaking with rage and fear is definitely the highlight of the scene. Wen Ning looking at a complete loss is also great. Wen Qing’s actress should have done that scene over—she is just not expressive enough, especially opposite someone like Xiao Zhan, who does such a good job in these emotional scenes. Either way, I do like how cool Wen Qing is at the end, order the guards to back off, while still holding Wei Wuxian’s gaze. This woman has no fear.

I hate this outfit. It is the worst thing that Wei Wuxian wears in the entire series, and that includes the bloody rags he’s wearing when he wakes up in Mo Xuanyu’s body. I don’t know where this outfit came from. Did Wen Ning give it to him? Why? Were his other clothes not fit to wear anymore? Everyone else is in the same clothes—why did he have to go through an outfit change? And what is with that cape? What a pain! Jesus, I’m sorry, but I hate this costume. Normally Wei Wuxian looks amazing, but this is a stinker.

This part is pretty hard to watch: Jiang Cheng being so unresponsive, Wei Wuxian putting on a brave face and trying to accentuate the positive. He knows that Jiang Cheng’s Golden Core is gone at this point, but he doesn’t want to dwell on that. He wants to find a way to help Jiang Cheng, even at the expense of his own future. His request for Jiang Cheng to try again is so sweet—try again and Wei Wuxian will act more affected by it—anything to make Jiang Cheng feel even a little bit better. Not to belittle what Jiang Cheng is going through (because that would be awful—he’s feeling his life is over—how can he be a sect leader, how can he do anything without his Golden Core?), I can’t help but truly identify with Wei Wuxian. I don’t think he’d be human if part of him didn’t feel a little responsible for what happened, even though it really wasn’t his fault (the Wens wanted control and the outcome would have been the same, anyway). He’s probably going over and over in his mind what he could have done differently from the moment the Wens showed up, until when Jiang Cheng ran off on his own. Like most people who really care for one another, Wei Wuxian really wishes that it had been him instead. I think sometimes it’s almost harder to watch someone else suffer than to suffer yourself, especially in this case, because Wei Wuxian can’t do anything for him.

I really love how she reacts to being yelled at and told to go away. She’s taken Jiang Cheng and his family in, given him medicine and food, sheltered them all from their enemies—she’s done all of this, knowing that, if caught, it would mean death for her and her brother. And after Jiang Cheng screams at her, she simply leaves, her head completely cool. It’s unclear to me whether she ever felt anything for Jiang Cheng (some people argue that she 100% did—I really don’t know), but at this moment, she stays level-headed while he is blinded by hatred. It doesn’t matter that she has done all those things for Jiang Cheng, because she’s part of the Wen Clan. But Wen Qing isn’t ruled by her emotions like he is. And I love how she approaches the situation, taking the time to tell her brother how they don’t ever kill—they are healers and have been for generations. It’s such a good message that even in the face of such hostility, she can maintain her duty to continue healing him until they have to leave.

What a fucking mess. At this point, how does he even know what he’s read and what he hasn’t read?

I can’t really tell you how much I love this little scene between Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian. It’s hard to even put it in the words, but I feel like I run the gamut of emotions from joy to sadness. Wei Wuxian is doing everything in his power to figure out a way to help Jiang Cheng: he’s hungry, he’s exhausted, he’s depressed, he’s anxious, he’s afraid—and of course Jiang Yanli is all of those things, on top of still recovering from her illness. The joy on his face when he thinks of asking Lan Wangji for help—it makes me smile and breaks my heart at the same time. It’s this fleeting moment where he remembers his old life—their old lives—and then reality sinks in. It seems like Yanli thinks he’s hysterical or something, because as he’s insisting he can reach out to Lan Wangji, she’s insisting that he’s tired and needs rest. She’s trying to ground him to reality, because there’s no way he can get in touch with Lan Wangji with the way things are. Where would he even find him? And Yanli, ugh, my heart breaks for her—she’s just trying so hard to keep her little family together.

And then Wei Wuxian says he thinks it’s his fault, and Yanli loses it. I love her for this insistence that it doesn’t matter whose fault it is. It doesn’t matter—what matters is that it happened and now they have to live on. I mean, she must know that her brother blames Wei Wuxian for this and I think to hear it from Wei Wuxian makes her even more upset. But it’s so true. Placing blame on someone else might make you feel better for a time, or allow you to justify your actions or enact your revenge, but it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change that their parents are still dead. It doesn’t change that Lotus Pier was taken over by the Wen Clan. All of that is still there, even if Jiang Cheng and Yanli placed all the blame on Wei Wuxian.

Sorry this one was super short, all. This arc kind of drags in CQL. I think they should have left more mystery, because it’s pretty clear what they’re about to do here. Anyway, two more episodes until Lan Wangji comes back, I think? Ugh…too many.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |

#wei wuxian #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #cql #the untamed #wen ning #wen qing #wen chao #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #cql rewatch #ep 17

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funkymbtifiction · 5 years ago

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Can you type the characters from 'He's Just Not That Into You'?

How many of them, coz there’s like... a bunch. ;)

Watched 3/4ths of it this morning before going to work.

Gigi is a 2-core ESFJ and not a very healthy one. She is so fanatically obsessed with being in love, being loved, and being wanted, that she throws herself at men who ‘just aren’t that into her’ -- coming up with more and more creative fantasizing ways about what they are really feeling (Fe/Ne looping) about her, rather than facing the brutal unpleasant fact that never occurred to her inferior Ti -- that they are just not that into her. In true Fe-mode, she shares all her feelings as soon as she has them and she longs for acceptance. When Alex offers her ‘guidance’ and insight into the male mind, she turns that around and becomes convinced he is into her, ignoring all the signs he told her to watch out for to tell you that a guy is into you -- namely, that he pursues you, wants you, and calls you. This is a typical behavior of a 2 core (who assumes everyone SHOULD want them, and who covets love desperately enough to be super helpful / think they can ‘buy it’ -- as Gigi does when happily serving everyone at his house party ‘like a co-hostess’) and an inferior Ti, who doesn’t question whether or not they are making the right assumptions about other people. Since she has no hidden motives, she assumes nobody else has any hidden motives.

Alex is an ISTP with an unclear Enneagram (tho a 2 fix somewhere). He has made a habit out of impersonal observation of people (Se) and analyzing them to detect patterns (Ti/Ni) in their behaviors, which he interprets as body language and general behaviors that indicate ‘he’s just not that into you.’ He is trying to be kind and Fe helpful to Gigi through pointing out to her which men are into her and which are not, but has the typical inferior Fe inability to know his own feelings -- he’s affronted when Gigi throws herself at him, but instead of thinking that may be HE created this problem by being ‘there’ for her all the time in an offering of advice, older brotherly way -- he blames her (Fe) and asks her why she had to do this. It’s only when she isn’t calling him that he recognizes his own feelings that maybe she is right, and he likes her ‘that way’ after all. TPs in general aren’t great at knowing their emotional state or putting any stock in it.

Anna (the ‘hot’ yoga instructor) appears to be an ESP 7w8. She just wants to do her own thing, and have whatever she wants (the hedonism of a 7w8), and she really isn’t concerned with how the man’s wife is feeling that she is seducing, so that could be either a sense of selfish “I want this” Fi or low Fe. Her talking to her friends about her relationships and seeking validation a lot could also be Fe. (I stopped when she’s stuck in the closet, so I don’t know if she’s going to dump the guy or not -- the last time I watched this was... a looong time ago, so I don’t remember whose relationship implodes or survives. Her reaction to his wife wanting to rekindle the spark may provoke a Fi or a Fe response in her.)

The dude she’s sleeping with, Ben, is also a TP, IMO. When asked why he got married, he said it seemed like the thing to do -- which is a cultural “Fe” response without any emotional intelligence behind it. He can’t put his feelings for his wife into words, he doesn’t remember why they got married other than it was ‘expected,’ and this low emotional awareness (both for himself and his wife) has allowed him to make a conscious decision to have an affair. Yet, at the same time he cares about his ISTJ 1w2 wife, who needs ‘control’ and doesn’t want him to smoke (because her father died from smoking) and has grown suspicious of his behavior, and demands ‘total honesty’ from the man she married.

Beth is an ESTJ and... I’m not sure about her Enneagram. She might be a 3w2, since she seems action-oriented, focused on appearances, but also wants serious commitment from her commitment-phobic boyfriend. She wants a traditional married life, to know he’s always going to be there, to have a ring on her finger and possibly kids down the line. She has stayed in the relationship out of a naive lower Ne hope that ‘he may change his mind,’ and that ‘marriage is eventually going to happen,’ but hasn’t asserted this strongly out of a low Fi desire not to seem ‘needy.’ Yet, it’s always what she has known she wanted.

I’m not sure about Mary, but she is very lead-about by her male coworkers into how to interpret guys, so either she’s strongly Fe (another SFJ) or a 6.

- ENFP Mod

#hes just not that into you #mbti #question

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charminglatina · 6 years ago

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Riverdale Characters as Tropes (Part II) ⭐️.

#9. Hiram Lodge (Main Trope: Fiction 500; Secondary Tropes: Big Bad, Evil Overlord, 0% Approval Rating, The Don, The Patriarch, Bad Boss, Corrupt Corporate Executive, Magnificent Bastard, Sharp Dressed Man, Badass In A Nice Suit, Man Of Wealth And Taste)

Fiction is loaded with Wish Fulfillment, and being rich enough to bend reality is one of them. These are characters whose wealth is almost impossible to quantify. More Money Than God is the bare minimum. Now this could happen in Real Life, like royalty who owned literally thousands of Pimped Out Dresses, or a man in India who built a private skyscraper for his family, staff, and fleet of cars, or Marcus Licinius Crassus, who had three times as much money as Bill Gates and personally funded the reconstruction of the Roman army. But in fiction, that's on the lower end of this scale. Stuff that generally does not qualify you to be a member of the Fiction 500: Big Fancy House, Cool Chair, Cool Boat, Cool Plane, Cool Car, Battle Butler, Maid Corps, or even simply having assets in the billions.

Stuff that generally does qualify you to be a member of the Fiction 500:

You have become a cultural symbol for absurd wealth, and the story leaves no doubt your reputation is completely justified.

You routinely spend money on a scale normal super-rich people might do once or twice in a lifetime, whether it be major investments or mere Conspicuous Consumption. If a real amount is given, even if in the hundreds of millions, or billions, it's chump change to these characters.

You personally fund projects associated with major corporations, governments, aliens, etc. This includes Crimefighting with Cash.

You have the resources of a global superpower without yourself ruling a global superpower.

You personally fund projects that apparently break the rules of physics using only wealth and the Rule of Cool, or sometimes Rule of Funny. In other words, Screw The Universe; I Have Money! But if some other convenient fictional trope makes something possible, it doesn't count. You don't buy sound in space when Space Is Noisy. It's not impressive to have Infinite Supplies when everyone else does. Building a Humongous Mechais not noteworthy when any random scientist can make five in a weekend.

You're surprised to discover your latest project's market success has not increased your net income because you have a monopoly on the product it's competing with.

You can do any of the above without leaving a paper trail or an electronic footprint. Many of these Fiction 500 rich characters operate either clandestinely or under a secret identity, especially if they are Crimefighting with Cash, The Chess Master or Evil Mastermind types. They must have methods for secretly diverting hundreds of millions or billions of dollars to their schemes (like building that army of Mooks, Elaborate Underground Base, Bat Cave, or Batmobile) while making it seem like a legit and legal expenditure or keeping it out of the books. It should be noted that even if a character uses their personal fortune, these transactions would still typically have to show up somewhere when tax time comes.

Now personality doesn't really matter. You could be a Rich Bitch or Uncle Pennybags. You could be a law abiding citizen and even be Batman, or instead think you can screw the rules. Name is based on the top 500 grossing companies annually compiled by "Fortune" Magazine. And despite the name implying otherwise, there can be any number of characters here. Also, there is almost no way to objectively rank them, although Forbes tries with their "Fictional 15" list. Compare Arbitrarily Large Bank Account, Conspicuous Consumption, Undisclosed Funds, Organization with Unlimited Funding, and N.G.O. Superpower. For real people who are considered the richest in the world, see The World's Billionaires, an annual ranking made by Forbes (which has its own article on The Other Wiki, BTW).

The cause of all bad happenings in a story. A Big Bad could be a character with Evil Plans or it could be an omnipresent situation, such as a comet heading towards the Earth. In a serial story, the Big Bad exerts an effect across a number of episodes, even an entire season. This trope is not a catch-all term for the biggest, ugliest villain of any given story. In fact, it doesn't have to be a villain at all, as we just said. If it is a villain, though, it should be identified correctly; the badass leader of the outlaw gang that causes the most personal trouble is not the Big Bad. The railroad tycoon who is using the gang as muscle is the Big Bad. The Man Behind the Manis very common for this trope, leaving the reveal of the big bad as The Chessmaster behind it all and proving themselves far more clever and resourceful than the Villain of the Week. Sometimes the Big Bad is the grand enemy of an entire franchise as an Overarching Villain. At other times, the Big Bad is an Arc Villain who causes trouble for a period of time only to be replaced by another Big Bad. When you look at a season-long story or a major Story Arc and you can identify one problem being the cause of everything, that is the Big Bad. In its most general form, a Big Bad will be at the center of the Myth Arc rather than just any Story Arc. The term "Big Bad" was popularized in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was characteristic of Buffy's Big Bads for their identity or nature, or even the fact that they are the Big Bad at all, to remain unclear for a considerable time. Occasionally, characters would even refer to themselves as "the Big Bad". Whether or not they were, though, this is a Big Bad Wannabe. The structure of Buffy placed the Big Bad as being crucial to the Half-Arc Season, half the episodes are filler dealing with unrelated enemies while the other half involved the ongoing Myth Arc with the Big Bad. Each season can easily be defined by who the Big Bad was. If a show has a series of Big Bad jeopardies, they can function like a series of Monsters of the Week that take more than one week to finish off. If there is a Legion of Doom, you can expect the Big Bad to be involved somehow. They're probably sorted by power, with the strongest for last, following the Sorting Algorithm of Evil. Evil Overlord, Diabolical Mastermind, The Chessmaster, Arch-Enemy, The Man Behind the Man, and often Manipulative Bastard are specific types of villains who are liable to show up as Big Bads. If they're a Magnificent Bastard or Hero Killer, the good guys are in big trouble. The heroic counterpart of this character is the Big Good, who will very often be the focus of this character's attention over The Hero at the beginning of a series. If a work of fiction is conspicuously lacking a Big Bad, it may be a case of No Antagonist. See also Big Bad Duumvirate for two (or more) Big Bads working together. Sometimes a Big Bad will get their start as a servant to another villain — if that's the case, they're a Dragon Ascendant. If the character who fills the role of Big Bad in most meaningful ways is nominally subordinate to someone else (someone significantly less menacing by comparison), they are a Dragon-in-Chief. If the story has many Big Bads at once who don't work together, see Big Bad Ensemble. The Big Bad Shuffle occurs when there are multiple candidates for the Big Bad position. If the Big Bad doesn't start out as bad but develops over the course of the story, it's Big Bad Slippage. If the Big Bad of one section of a work doesn't die on being defeated and stays around as a character in a different plot role (reformed or not), that's Ex-Big Bad. The Big Bad of a story is not always the most powerful or oldest existing evil force. Perhaps an evil presence along the lines of an Eldritch Abominationovershadows the work's setting, but is mainly divorced from the story's events — that would be the Greater-Scope Villain.

#10. Hermione Lodge (Main Trope: Femme Fatale; Secondary Tropes: Iron Lady, Proper Lady, Spicy Latina, Gold Digger, Corrupt Politician, Grande Dame, Silk Hiding Steel, The Woman Wearing The Queenly Mask, God Save Us From The Queen, Sugar-And-Ice-Personality)

First, she turns you on. Then, she turns on you. The typical client in a Hardboiled Detective story (French for "fatal woman," idiomatically "woman to die for"). You know the type. Dressed all in black with legs up to here and shady motives, she slinksinto the PI's office, sometimes holding a cigarette on a long, long holder, saying "Oh, Mr. Rockhammer, you're the only one who can help me find out who killed my extremely wealthy husband." Did she do it? Do I care? Wait, where'd that saxophone music come from? Whatever her story is, whether she did it or not, she's definitely keeping some secrets. The Femme Fatale is sexy and she knows it. Made famous by Film Noir and hard-boiled detective stories, she manipulates and confuses The Hero with her undeniable aura of sexiness and danger. Unlike the virginal and sweet Damsel in Distress (or possibly Action Girl), the Femme Fatale exploits with everything she's got to wrap men around her finger. (In some eras, use of make-up is a tell-tale sign.) He knows that she's walking trouble and knows much more about the bad guys than she should, but damn it if he can't resist her feminine wiles. If the Femme Fatale is vying for the hero's romantic attentions she will likely have a sweeter and purer rival. The hero might decide that she's not worth the trouble she causes, but if he doesn't, then they might become an Outlaw Couple. While related to The Vamp, the Femme Fatale is not just any seductress; she has a distinct look and feel. The main distinction is how she presents herself. If you know she's dangerous from the start, but she's sexy enough that you don't care, she's likely a Femme Fatale. On a lesser note, the Femme Fatale generally uses sensuality instead of upfront sexual advances. She may implythat you could have sex later, but she'll never promise it, not even say it—that would decrease her air of mystery and power. Her wiles may include apparent helplessness and distress, and appeals to the man's greed, desire for revenge, or gullibility, as well as the implication of possible romance or sexual rewards, while The Vamp more often reliances on raunchy sex or the promise of it sometime real soon. The Femme Fatale is generally villainous, and heroic exceptions—in an artificial context to snare the bad guy—are closer to Heroic Seductress. Frequently, she is a Wild Card, changing sides according to her own desires and goals; she does not often go through a High-Heel–Face Turn. If she's actually a kind-hearted person who puts on this facade just for fun, this is Trickster Girlfriend. She's often the Lady in Red but possibly dressed like everyone else so as to not be Colour-Coded for Your Convenience. The Femme Fatale is one of the female character types that can often be seen wearing High Class Gloves, especially in conjunction with her sexy evening gowns, and, during the daytime (particularly in old Film Noir movies), is often seen wearing a "fascinator" or "pillbox" hat with a partial- or full-face veil. She's definitely not above using the Kiss of Distraction. If she can fight, too, then she's really going to be trouble. Subtrope of Manipulative Bastard. The younger version of this is the Fille Fatale. The spy version of this is Femme Fatale Spy.

#11. FP Jones (Main Trope: The Casanova; Secondary Tropes: Action Dad, The Alcoholic, Alcoholic Parent, The Good King, The Quarterback, The Sheriff, Dirty Cop, Reasonable Authority Figure, Jaded Washout)

The (legal, and less repulsive than the better-known types) sexual predator — a man who relentlessly pursues, lands, loves, and then abandons members of the opposite sex, a skill bestowed upon him to demonstrate what a badass he is. Sometimes comic, sometimes a monster, always successful, this character leaves behind a string of broken hearts, and occasional vows ofrevenge that are rarely fulfilled. Casanova's only motivation is indulging his lust and desire, sating them with the bodies of his conquests.

This trope tends to suffer from three double standards when portrayed in media;

The first is that the Casanova is always male, given that women are usually shamed for having an active sex life. The comparatively rarer female version is an "aphrodite", but she’ll likely be portrayed as an evil character who exploits her sexuality to manipulate innocent men. The womanizing skills of the Casanova, on the other hand, will almost always be granted to him to make him look like a champion.

This trope also applies almost exclusively to straight men, given that queer people with an active sex life are usually villainized in media. Meanwhile, straight men get to be portrayed as badasses for having multiple women at their beck and call. Bisexuals or demisexuals are even rarer, though not unheard of; for example Oberyn Martell.

The Casanova trope is also usually only applied to Caucasian/white men. Non-white men having, expressing or giving into their sexual desires is often portrayed negatively or Played for Laughs. Also, while white male Casanovas being with non-white women is generally portrayed as fine, men of color are often limited in a work to dating, having sex, marrying or even flirting only with women of the same nationality or skin color as them. If they do have a romantic relationship or sexual encounter with a woman of a different nationality or skin-color, it is usually held in scorn by some in-universe (and sometimes out-of-universe, unfortunately).

Contrast with the unsuccessful Casanova Wannabe. Compare with the inexplicable Kavorka Man. A guy who gets the girls like a Casanova, but unintentionally, is a Chick Magnet. If kind-hearted, may overlap with Chivalrous Pervert. The Charmer is equally charming but less sex-obsessed. If they really get around but want to settle down, it's Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. A Handsome Lech has more negative connotations and a sparser scorecard than the Casanova. The trope is named for Giacomo Casanova (1725-1798), a soldier, spy, diplomat, adventurer, and librarian whose extensive but unreliable autobiography (in which he almost literally described himself as God's Gift to Womennote ) established his eternal fame as a lover. It should be noted that the historical Casanova was closer to a Chivalrous Pervert who really was looking for love... just with women who were locked in loveless political marriages — and also gained his successes famously ugly. (Definitely◊ he was no Heath Ledger◊.) Interesting and prone to be noted for his modern wannabes, he was one of the few 18th century men who bathed almost dailyand asked the same thing from his partners. Many films, TV movies and TV mini-series are named for and based on that person. The best known are Fellini's 1976 film, the 2005 film starring Heath Ledger, and the 2005 BBC drama mini-series starring David Tennant. The latter is considered one of the more faithful adaptations of Casanova's memoirs, while Fellini's... wasn't. For the juvenile version — all of the above without the sex — see Kid-anova. Contrast the Serial Romeo (who falls in love with a long succession of women, one at a time and for reasonable periods). If the guy is actually only rumored to be a Casanova and has no evidence onscreen, it's the Urban Legend Love Life. If he develops feelings for one of his conquests (or someone who refuses him), he's a Ladykiller in Love. See More Friends, More Benefits for when the mechanics of a game encourage the player character to act this way. Note: It should be mentioned that even after the affairs were over, most of Casanova's ex-lovers still liked him, and he was reputedly quite the gentleman. This trope would probably fit (the fictional) Don Juan better.

#12. Gladys Jones (Main Trope: Evil Matriarch; Secondary Tropes: Dark Is Evil, Parental Abandonment, Action Mom, Drugs Are Bad, Bitch In Sheeps Clothing, Bait The Dog)

A mother is one of the most central figures that a character can have growing up, and her influence can have an impact on that character even as an adult. If the character is lucky, that mother will be a loving one, and if he or she is really lucky, she'll be an Action Mom who can kick ass and take names if the character is ever threatened. But if the character is really unlucky and isn't suffering from Parental Abandonment, the character's mother will be an Evil Matriarch and chances are, she will make that character's life a living hell.

The Evil Matriarch comes in two forms:

Comedic: Usually used in the Dom Com, this variety is usually the mother of one of the two parents on the show who comes to visit every so often, and someone on the cast dreads it. Usually (though not always) this variety of Evil Matriarch is a meddling parent, often to an irrational extreme. Classically, this is a Mother-in-Law situation, but from time to time, the kids themselves, or even the child of the mother is the one that dreads it. In some cases, everyone hates the Evil Matriarch, like in Malcolm in the Middle where everyone dreads Lois's mother coming to visit. In other cases, her visit is appreciated by everyone but the daughter or son of the Evil Matriarch, like in Family Ties, where the matriarch is evil because her daughter feels she can't live up to mom's perfection. Expect this variety of Evil Matriarch to have Power Hair and other Fashionable Evil.

Dramatic: This variety, which shows up in more dramatic media, is truly evil in a traditional sense, and is one of the worst villains one can face, especially if one of the Heroes or Love Interests is one of her children (or if she's married into his or her family as a stepmother). Many such Evil Matriarchs are completely convinced that they, and only they, know what's best for their children, and can be very controlling, manipulative, and perfectly willing to do anything they deem necessary for their children's sake, no matter how evil or destructive it may be. The most vicious examples of this variety of Evil Matriarch despise their children (or at least the one they've singled out as The Unfavorite) and are often physically or emotionally abusive towards them, and many of them are not above Offing the Offspring.

If she's not entirely human, then expect her to be a Hive Queen. If she is also the Queen, expect God Save Us from the Queen!. The Spear Counterpart of this character type is Archnemesis Dad. The inversion is Antagonistic Offspring. See Abusive Parents and Parental Neglect for the more mundane versions. See Offing the Offspring and/or Matricide for what this might lead to if the kids fight back. If it's not your mother but her replacement who's making your life a living Hell, see Wicked Stepmother.

#13. Hal Cooper (Main Trope: Ax-Crazy; Secondary Tropes: Serial Killer, The Bluebeard, Malevolent Masked Man, Knight Templar Parent, Insane Equals Violent, Light Is Not Good, Icy Blue Eyes)

An "ax-crazy" character is someone who is psychologically unstable and presents a clear and present danger to others. They are capable of extreme violence, whether carried out with a Slasher Smile, insane laughter, speaking in a Creepy Monotone, or out and out murderous rage, and with no way of knowing just what will set them off, which makes them extremely frightening to deal with. This mainly differentiates them from other eccentric characters who may themselves be obsessive, weird or seemingly crazy, but use this condition hand in hand with doing good, or at least not being in the way. However, some formerly established heroes can go through an episode of ax-craziness and still retain their heroic mantle. Despite the title, ax-crazies aren't limited to wielding axes. Any instrument of death will do, from knives or straight razors to swords to chainsaws and beyond. A good number of other ax-crazies are also Trigger Happy, preferring either Hand Cannons that blow really big holes in people, or weapons that allow them to kill lots of people with reckless abandon, such as any automatic weapon. And for the truly psychopathic among psychopaths for whom the above just won't do, a heaping helping of high explosives or a good-sized flamethrower will do quite nicely. Sometimes, they don't even need weapons and just use magic spells or other powers if they have them. There are also plenty who are just as happy to beat people into an unrecognizable pulp-like mass with their bare hands. It is rare for a truly Ax-Crazy character to be a protagonist, largely due to it being a Sub-Trope of Obviously Evil, and most Ax-Crazy characters usually are Obviously Evil. They're common as the antagonists in Superhero and Crime and Punishment Series, often serving as a Psycho for Hire. If they area protagonist, they will most certainly be a Nominal Hero or Villain Protagonist. The difference between them and Blood Knight is this trope is all about killing while the Blood Knight is only interested in fighting. There is, of course, plenty of room for overlap. See also Insane Equals Violent, The Butcher, The Dreaded, Mad Bomber, Cute and Psycho, Blood Knight, Psycho for Hire, Yandere, The Sociopath, Mad Doctor, Pyro Maniac, Hair-Trigger Temper, Colonel Kilgore, General Ripper, Insane Admiral, and Sociopathic Soldier. Compare and contrast Mama Bear, Papa Wolf, Big Brother Instinct, and Violently Protective Girlfriend, who may be capable of temporary Ax-Craziness when their kids, younger sibling(s) or mate are under threat, but are often played sympathetically. Contrast Suicidal Pacifism, when a character never, ever resorts to violence even if it is necessary; and Extreme Doormat, when a character is a complete pushover unable to fight back. The canonical Character Alignment for most Ax-Crazy characters is Chaotic or Neutral Evil, though a couple of Chaotic Neutral examples exist. Sometimes The Unfettered, depending on whether they feel freed or enslaved by their bloodlust. At least one or more examples are an Anti-Villian, where you kinda feel bad for them since their enemies pushed them too far with actions such as killing their family, their friends, or even the enemies trying to kill them, making them go Ax-Crazy. It's very common to be Played for Drama, usually as either the Big Bad, or The Dragon to the the Big Bad. It is far less common, but not unheard of, for it to be Played for Laughs; this is most likely to be seen in a Sadist Show, especially one featuring a lot of Comedic Sociopathy and/or heavy Satire, with it appearing most often in humorous comic strips, Anime, Web Originalworks, and the more adult-oriented Western Animation of the Renaissanceand Millennium periods. A very large number of pages link to this when they should link to An Axe to Grind. This page is about violent crazy people, not people whose Weapon of Choice is an axe (despite the potential for overlap).

#14. Alice Cooper (Main Trope: Ice Queen; Secondary Tropes: Education Mama, Control Freak, Former Teen Rebel, Female Misogynist, The Fundamentalist, Holier Than Thou)

Much like a Tomboy, the Ice Queen is a major character archetype which is somewhat hard to define. Her signature characteristic is that she is cold; the ambiguity comes from what "cold" means. She has a cold heart, a frosty demeanor; she attracts but will never be wooed. Scorned men are likely to call their failed conquests Ice Queens (after all, normal women would have given in to them). Due to the Double Standard, the Ice Queen is (almost) Always Female. The Ice Queen is considered dangerous to love because she will not (or cannot) love back. She's not much for friendship either, preferring to be alone. Situations where an Ice Queen "thaws" and learns to enjoy the company of others are so common that they have their own trope. Being an Ice Queen is purely about personality; having ice-related abilities does not make a character an Ice Queen. That said, it's not at all uncommon for a character with a cold personality to be given cold powers. Not to be confused with a character who has a royal title associated with ice or snow, though they two may overlap (and often do in more magical settings). An Ice Queen requires at least one "cold" personality trait that gets her labeled as an Ice Queen.

#15. Fred Andrews (Main Trope: The Heart; Secondary Tropes: Like Father, Like Son, Betty And Veronica, Family Man, Standard 50′s Father, The Conscience, Big Good, Good Parents)

The Heart is a personality aspect that comes up in just about any ensemble. Their personality is based on getting the others to recognize that there are more things at stake than their personal vendettas, especially if The Team is becoming a group of Knights Templar, or if any individual becomes a Well-Intentioned Extremist. This is the person who will argue and fight against the justification of "I Did What I Had to Do". Quite often The Heart character will also be an All-Loving Hero, where they go out of their way to help all of the little people. Within the ensemble this character will most often be merged with the role of The Chick. Like The Hero and The Leader, they aren't one and the same, but they often overlap since they are a good fit. If The Chick is usually a non-action character, having personality traits of The Heart will give them more to do, especially if the team is always at each other's throats. For the same reason, The Heart can also be The Hero (in the case of the Magnetic Hero) or The Leader, as their leadership skills keep the team from falling apart. May be part of the Command Roster. The character whose death or loss is most likely to trigger Losing the Team Spirit. Where Elemental Powers come into play, other characters may be in for a Heart Beatdown. Due to their usual relative introversion, and tendencies towards pacifism (whether technical or actual), this character is sadly often C-List Fodder and a prime target for a single-character (rather than the entire show) version of The Firefly Effect. Many series will start out with a Heart character, but the writers will begin to view them as boring and impossible to write for, so they end up being either Put on a Bus/kept Out of Focus at best, or Character Death at worst. This also tends to happen when studio executives want to replace the character with a more talented or physically attractive character, in an attempt to boost ratings. Given that said characters are usually sweet types (and peacekeepers), this also tends to seriously anger a certain portion of the fanbase, but because the studio executives care more about ratings than they do about upsetting what is normally a minority, the character will stay dead. If fan outrage is sufficiently vocal, and the executives haven't managed to completely alienate the actor, then the character may come back periodically as a ghost or a clone. Compare The Face who does the talking on The Team. See also Restored My Faith in Humanity and Morality Chain. Compare The Conscience, Token Good Teammate. Not to be confused with What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway? or Heart Is an Awesome Power though this trope often overlaps with them. Contrast with Lack of Empathy.

#16. Mary Andrews (Main Trope: Fiery Redhead; Secondary Tropes: Missing Mom, Mama Bear, Heroes Want Redheads, Almighty Mom, Brutal Honesty)

A Fiery Redhead is a red-haired character who is strong, Hot-Blooded, out going, usually outspoken, and (if a love interest) often female. She has a big personality and she's not afraid to use it. Whatever you do, don't get on her bad side, or there will be hell to pay. (Especially if powers of personality and/or elements are present: she likes Playing with Fire. Thus, in a Four-Temperament Ensemble, expect her to be Choleric.) She will be unladylike unless it's the case of a redheaded Spirited Young Lady. She might be One of the Boys, a tomboy, or a lad-ette. Heroes do like redheads after all. This hair-color stereotype probably developed since red hair was associated with the Irish and Scottish (and before this, Horny Vikings) for a long time, and they ended up being stereotyped as loud, strong, and passionate (see the Fighting Irish and Violent Glaswegian tropes for more info on that). On the other hand, it's even found in Eastern Europe where any association would have been with Russians or Swedes, and these are nationalities not generally stereotyped as hotheaded. In addition to this, it extends even into ancient texts from Babylonian and Scandinavian Oral Historian. In the Prose Edda, Odin is depicted as blonde, green-eyed, cool, and calculating—while his son, Thor, is a redheaded, blue-eyed (something of an omen of war/perfection in Scandinavian culture) fire-breathing stereotypical Viking (the raiding kind) who treats Earth as a giant freshman mixer. Gilgamesh is also a Fiery Redhead with blue eyes whose duties include being a good precursor to Thor, for the most part—though with more reservation and a cooling trend near the end of his life (this makes both an eerie paradigm of Fiery Redheads at the creation of their respective people's writings). The whole "red-haired, blue-eyed" thing is usually split in Japan between two people. Although real redheads can have tempers like everyone else, this trait is exaggerated in fiction. Also, they can have Green Eyes and this association is also exaggerated in fiction. Compare Heroes Want Redheads, Dark-Skinned Redhead, Evil Redhead, Rose-Haired Sweetie, Red-Headed Stepchild, Redheads Are Uncool, Redheaded Hero. In anime, could be a Shana Clone. If you have a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead in close proximity (i.e. in the main cast), it's Blonde, Brunette, Redhead. Contrast Shy Blue-Haired Girl for Red Oni, Blue Oni and Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette for the realistic opposite hair color and personality. Please do not confuse this with a redhead being literally fiery, or having literal fiery head, although these tropes may overlap. And a red who's literally firey does have their hair color fit their elemental powers. See also Red Is Violent (in this case, the hair color).

#17. Clifford Blossom (Main Trope: Abusive Dad; Secondary Tropes: Archnemesis Dad, Faux Affably Evil, Offing The Offspring, Mean Boss)

Parents are supposed to be the protectors of children, but these parents are either so damaged themselves that they can't do the job, greedy or villainous to the point that they never had any interest in doing the job properly, or would rather use the child as a means to an end. Sometimes they're just sadistic assholes. This includes parents who are emotionally, verbally, physically, or mentally abusive, or who neglectfully allow their children to be abused by others if they don't abuse the child themselves; sexual abuse is typically treated as a special kind of evil. Sometimes, the abuse at the hands of their parents becomes a Freudian Excuse for a villain. Other times, the character manages to not grow up broken, bitter, and hateful, and instead a different and better person than the upbringing would incline one to think. Troubling Unchildlike Behavior is often a tell-tale sign that things are not right at home. Abusive Parents are commonplace in fairy tales and Classical Mythologywhich makes this trope Older Than Feudalism. Note that The Brothers Grimm, when they collected European fairy tales, were uncomfortable with the idea of Abusive Parents and so frequently changed the Abusive Parents in the traditional stories into abusive step parents. Sometimes, a parent will go as far as to kill the child in question, in which case this is Offing the Offspring. In other cases, the parent's abuse occasionally drives the offspring to snap, commit Revenge and finally kill them, thus becoming a Self-Made Orphan. Calling the Old Man Out occurs when a fed-up child retaliates with a "The Reason You Suck" Speech. If the child gets out of the broken family and forms healthy friendships, but reacts badly when their abusive parents show up again, well, Friends Are Chosen, Family Aren't. Bear in mind that not everyone agrees on the line between actual abuse and merely heavy-handed parenting (or even normal parenting). Is Moving the Goalposts merely inspiring the child to achieve more, or the most insidious form of abuse to instill mistrust and paranoia to the children? Some include spanking as abuse; others think it's appropriate given certain guidelines. Some believe it's okay to make a kid go without a meal (they won't starve that easily); others disagree. Making a kid miss a friend's birthday sleepover — is that emotional abuse? Raising a kid without exposure to TV? Telling your daughter she's getting fat? A little friendly name-calling? There's a line here somewhere, but not everyone agrees on where it is. If a parent has just dumped the child, for whatever reason, that's Parental Abandonment; if they aren't paying attention, that's Parental Neglect. If the parents refuse to discipline their kids, they are Pushover Parents. Contrast Mama Bear or Papa Wolf (where others abuse the children and the parents abuse the abusers), and the more extreme variant of Knight Templar Parent, where the abusive parent is violently overprotective. Abusive Precursors can be considered this on a metaphorical level. See Hilariously Abusive Childhood for when this is cranked up to absurd levels and played for laughs. Black Comedy is often connected in the comedic aspect of it, and a Big, Screwed-Up Family may be involved if it is adult comedy. In keeping with the above note, some may call the show on it and say Dude, Not Funny!. See Evil Matriarch and Archnemesis Dad for characters who are beyond abusiveand outright evil. For parents who are mostly abused by their children, see Pushover Parents. While they do not have to be the child's actual, technical parents to be part of this trope, it's pretty important that they are closely related and live together, like a Wicked Stepmother or an Evil Uncle taking care of the Parentally Deprived. After all, it's much more disgusting that somebody related to the child could bring themselves to hurt them, rather than a mere foster family. The polar opposite, of course, are Good Parents.

#18. Penelope Blossom (Main Trope: Black Widow; Secondary Tropes: Evil Redhead, Widow Woman, Straw Feminist, The Vamp, High Class Call Girl, Dark Mistress)

The man-eater, the woman whose husbands/Love Interests keep on dying. Usually, a Black Widow is a cross between a Con Artist and a Serial Killer, a woman who seduces, marries, and then murders men for their money, always using a different name and identity each time to keep the police and her intended victims from twigging to her real identity. She's very much a highly successful vamp. Black Widows' methods may vary, but poisoning is often favored: it doesn't demand superior strength or leave obvious marks, and it's traditional for wives to do the cooking for their husbands. Also, many types of poisoning can have symptoms similar to those of common illnesses, which makes it easier for a Black Widow to collect life insurance money (a very common motivation). There are too many Truth in Television instances to count. Occasionally there are more nefarious methods. The name "black widow" comes from the official FBI designation for this kind of killer and from the black widow spider, which is so named because of the occasional habit of female black widow spiders (particularly the Australian redback spiders and the southern black widows) to devour their mates after mating. For this reason the trope may be paired with Arachnid Appearance and Attire to really drive the spider metaphor home. A Sub-Trope of Sleeping Their Way to the Top, Murder in the Family, and Gold Digger (this one prefers to kill her Meal Ticket instead of living with him). A Sister Trope to The Bluebeard (the Spear Counterpart). Compare Yandere, Comforting the Widow, Widow Woman (for other widow tropes), Will and Inheritance Tropes and Cartwright Curse. When a pregnancy is involved, this intersects with Conceive and Kill. See also Literal Maneater, which is an actual monster that uses the disguise of a woman to lure in its prey.

Look out for Part III!

#Hiram lodge #Hermione lodge #fred andrews #Alice cooper #fp jones #gladys jones #riverdale #tropes

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magus-of-the-color-pizza · 7 years ago

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The WUBRG Superheroes!

So! It’s been awhile, but I’m coming back with a new big one! A few (several) weeks ago, @gigaguessmtg sent me the following ask: “Here’s one for you…you have a modern superhero team, five heroes, one for each color. How would you describe them, both as a person, and their role in the team? And what would their power be?”

Wow, this ask got me thinking a lot! I contacted gigaguess after a while to explain that it would take me some time to come up with an answer because I wanted to make a team that I could call mine while still fitting within the colors (aka I didn’t want Blue to be a tactician with water powers, Red a hothead with fire powers etc). So, just to clarify: this is not an archetypal, absolute “what if the colors were manifested in superheroes.” This is one of the near-infinite possible answers to that question.

Anyways, I created a Google Doc and started spitballing ideas. After quite a few days (due to family obligations) of fleshing out these characters, I give you: The Woobergs!

The Vanir Files

Entry #56

As predicted, the rambunctious group of kids known as Ma’at (funny, the presumption that oozes from them) has continued to intervene wherever they see fit, with mixed results: often times their work is of no concern to us, however, there have been times when they have interfered directly with our desires. Because of this, and because of their potential to be a significant obstacle in the future, we have previously concluded, as you all know, to gather intel on them. Since that decision, agents have been positioned all over the world in order to maximize our chances of studying the five from an adequate position.

I am thrilled to report that there have been several encounters. Some have been fortuitous, but there have been some occasions– four, to be precise– where it was decided that the best course of action was to draw them out ourselves.

That said, allow me to enclose all the information we currently possess about this group. I hope that it will continue to grow as we discover more about them– or that its development is cut short by their demise, that I would also find most acceptable.

-Freyr

Ma’at: a group of self-proclaimed “superheroes”, whose goal is to preserve and advance “peace” and “happiness” in the world via direct (and usually illegal) intervention, facilitated by the superhuman powers that characterize each member. They appear in extravagant, black suits dashed by their individual color (Black’s suit is fully black), and wear masks to conceal their identity; nomenclature inspired by the Ancient Egyptian Goddess of Balance (possible ties to Egypt of one or more members)

Current Members:

White: Male, tall, athletic but relatively skinny, of African descent (accent, however, is Greek. Efforts to identify White’s identity via this narrow demographic are ongoing). White is the latest member of the group, having joined them five months ago. His powers reside somewhere in the sphere of sound and, more specifically, music. Never seen without an instrument (most commonly: flutes or stringed instruments. Often seen with a Xalam) as his powers would seem to require one to be executed properly.

Powers: Is capable of using tunes to bolster the physical and mental capabilities of his allies, or to do the opposite to his enemies. Also capable of emitting focused shockwaves and/or shattering objects at a distance.

Role: White does not seem to have much of a say in the decision-making of a fight, at least not while it is progressing. However, he has been seen advising his teammates after several encounters. During the fight, he tends to stay somewhere in the middle of his allies, not quite in the back but far away from the frontline enough to have a clear vision of the field.

Personality: White appears to be a level-headed, calm figure even in drastic situations, and to understand the tactical potential and flaws of his companions quite well. From a few overheard conversations, it is clear that the relationship between him and the other four could be described as “fatherly”, although there is some tension between him and Black (further investigation required). Albeit a jolly person, his power is not to be underestimated.

Blue: Male, average height, very physically fit (more than any of his companions), of Asian (potentially Japanese?) descent. Blue is one of the first supers to have appeared (together with Red). His mobility powers make him an invaluable asset to the group (and therefore the most important target to hit if we choose to cripple their efficiency). Often seen with a nondescript, sharp knife.

Powers: Simply put, Blue’s powers reside in teleportation. He is capable of disappearing and reappearing in a different location in a matter of instants. He is also capable of taking other people with him. The more people he is accompanying and the farther he is teleporting, however, the more effort and time it takes him. (Overheard in a conversation between Blue and Green:) Blue can only teleport to places whose spatial coordinates are known to him or to one of the people he is taking with him: this means that he either needs to have a clear vision on the spot (dubbed short-range teleportation) or needs to have been there, physically, before (dubbed long-range teleportation).

Role: Blue’s main role in confrontations is rapidly taking out single targets, teleporting back and forth too quickly to be countered. He is also clear-minded enough to keep an eye on his allies, in case any of them need to be taken out of an unfortunate situation.

Personality: Despite his rapid movements across the battlefield, Blue has proven to be quite the level-headed thinker. He always takes the time to ascertain the enemy forces and the field before diving in. He also is quick to draft up a battle plan, although calling him the strategist of the team would be incorrect (as observed, the planning tends to go as such: Blue provides the basic info on the situation and a few suggestions and White fleshes out the plan, though the other members will add to it or modify it). He is not very vocal within group conversations but seems to get along well with the others (unfortunately).

Black: female, short, slim. Referred to as “Inola” once by Red (either a nickname or her actual name– if the latter, she’s most likely a Cherokee Native American. Efforts to reveal her identity are ongoing). The fourth member to sign onto the group, Black’s powers are something previously unheard of and require further investigation to ascertain its limits, but they have proven to be quite the lifesaver for her allies. Always carries two handguns with her.

Powers: Black’s ability allows her to manipulate the probability of events. They seem to encompass any field of events, but there is a limit to her powers; simply put, the more unlikely an event, the more it drains her to make it happen (it is unclear what would happen if she attempted to realize a near-impossible event or any one out of her “range”).

Role: Black is very adept at using her powers, as she is capable of stacking the odds in favor of all her allies at the same time; it is no coincidence that we’ve yet to see one of the Ma’at get hit by a bullet, while most of their attacks land. In addition, Black, who reportedly (as stated by Green) has never received any military or gun training in her life, wields her two guns with ease, shooting in the enemy’s general direction and “guiding” her bullets to their intended destination.

Personality: Black is smug and brash, but beloved by her teammates. She is never reluctant to take action or put herself on the front lines, and is the Ma’at member with the most blood on her hands, never hesitating to kill (unless faced with surrender, in which case she does spare lives). This ruthlessness is thought to derive from past traumas; the group once targeted the headquarters of a large human trafficking operation and, after slaughtering most of the offenders, Black reportedly broke down when she came into contact with the victims.

Red: Tall and lanky male, of Italian descent. One of the two “founders” of the group, Red is the de-facto heart of Ma’at, as he has a solid rapport with each other member, built on mutual trust and respect (which can not be said of anyone else). He is also in charge when it comes to improvising or modifying a plan due to necessity, as he is capable of quick decision-making and good communication. Always carries a handful of pebbles (to use as projectiles).

Powers: Red’s powers lie in the manipulation of any given object’s kinetic energy. He can slow, accelerate or stop an object’s motion from a considerable distance. He “stows” energy (though he cannot contain more than a certain amount) and releases it via his ability. If he loses focus, the energy he has stored will be released in unpredictable ways (as stated in a conversation with Blue, where Red notes that once he fell asleep with some residual energy and a lamp smashed into a wall), making his reserve volatile and usually generated at the moment of or just before a confrontation.

Role: Red focuses on disruption, sowing chaos in enemy lines by sending heavy objects and/or people flying. The few cases where a potential harm makes it through Black’s safeguarding, it is usually one so big that Red is capable of identifying and eliminating it on short notice (two weeks ago, an armored truck barreled down on them, only to be slammed into a building by Red’s power).

Personality: Red is upbeat and energetic, often motivating the rest of Ma’at during or after an attack. He also appears to be relatively clumsy and airheaded due to his habit of thinking about at least four or five different things at once. In battle, however, he is focused and purposeful.

Green: Very tall, athletic female. Most likely French (if not, of French descent). The third member to join Ma’at (and currently its oldest), Green is the group’s heaviest hitter, despite her kind and sometimes fragile demeanor. Always carries a bag with first aid kit (for everyone) and caloric snacks (for herself, as her ability can make her quite hungry).

Powers: Green has complete control over her hair. As opposed to the other members, who have developed their powers at some point in their lifetime, Green was born with this capability (as stated by Red; efforts to identify her via early manifestations of this ability are ongoing). She can modify its length, color, density and consistency with ease, and controls it as if it were another limb. She cannot expand it infinitely but is capable of reaching at least 200 feet in length.

Role: Green is a force to be reckoned with; her hair can lift people off the ground, shield her from most attacks, and even break through walls. In battle, she maneuvers her tentacle-like mane to hit hard and hit fast and has notable multitasking abilities (the most “appendages” she’s controlled simultaneously in a fight so far is 9). In addition, her hair provides her (and her allies if necessary) excellent mobility, as she uses it to propel her body around the field (most notable is her tendency to keep herself aloft with one or two strands and strike with the others; this tactic has been dubbed “the spider” by Black).

Personality: Green is a calm but strong presence in the group, one that does not usually pitch in the plan of action but whose words everyone pays attention to. She treats her allies gently and cares for them deeply (often checking on their condition after a fight), but at the same time terrifies them (As stated by Blue and agreed upon by White and Red) due to her strength.

Thank you all for bearing with me! I hope this post has been of some interest to you, I am at least glad it got me thinking so much about Color Pie Superheroes! Thanks again to Giga Guess for the ask and apologies for my lateness.

If anyone has any questions or comments or anything in regards to all this, feel free to reblog or send me an ask! I’m more than willing to chat about alllll this oc-ness I just spent weeks cookin’!

#superheroes #superhero team #ocs #magic the gathering #color pie #mtg

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chilly-territory · 7 years ago

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K~Profiles: Munakata Reishi

Munakata's full profile from K Fan Clan (the original text is provided by the wonderful blueseraphima as usual)

[NAME] ��Real name: Munakata Reishi ・Terms of address: Captain, Munakata, Boss Glasses

[PROFILE] ・Birthday: 10/1, Libra ・Blood type: AB Rh- ・Age: 25 (at the time of season 2)

[APPEARANCE] ・Physique: 185cm in height. Tall slender well proportioned figure. ・Face, hair: intelligent with refined features. Wears glasses with thin metal frames. Smile of a person with a hidden agenda. ・Attire: Scepter 4 uniform ・Personal effects: personal use saber. Registration name is "Tenrou" (Sirius)

[HABITS, SKILLS] ・Excels at hypocritical courtesy ・Possesses the power to 'rule' over all things

[IMPRESSION, OTHER NOTES] ・Image color is blue ・Young king pursuing personal ideals ・Unfathomable person whose true motives are unreadable to ordinary people. Comes across as a VIP with the top class abilities and caliber. ・Possessor of a power rivaling that of the Red King Suoh Mikoto.

[POSITION, OBJECTIVES] The Fourth and the Blue King. Head of Annex 4 of Tokyo Legal Affairs Bureau and leader of an anti-ability wielder security organization Scepter 4. Annex 4 is an official public organization, while Scepter 4 is a private armed organization siphoning off the former’s budget and personnel. However, with the Gold King Kokujouji’s backing, it is virtually an agency ranked above the police and functioning as an armed force with more authority. Frequently takes active arbitrary action for the sake of its ideals (preserving social stability).

[PERSONALITY, CONDUCT] His personality is characterized by steady and tenacious advance towards his personal goals. Makes daring moves in irregular circumstances without losing his calm. Does not reveal his real intentions even to his inner circle. Even before awakening as a king, Munakata had clear comprehension, boasting an understanding of all kinds of things and a vision of their significance and correct shape, but was not certain about who he himself was. For that reason, upon awakening as a king, realized that the answer to his question about himself was "a king", due to which has no hesitation or apprehension towards living as a king and working towards his ideals. Does not shy away from making sacrifices for the sake of majority's well-being, but considers it his duty as a king to take the heavy responsibly for it alone and does not reveal that intention to those around him. For that reason, people often see him as unfathomable and scheming. Has a preference for logical setups and puzzle games and seeks paths leading to the solution of the main puzzle (social stability), thinking even of his own existence as that of a pawn. Although a countless number of such routes is possible, what ultimately matters to him is his conviction of "solving the puzzle" as well as the aspect of "enjoying" the process. That trait is often seen as "arrogance" or "boldness" by others.

[FATE, ENDING] Priding himself on his ability, he feels strongly about the duty of a king and intends to devote his life to pursuing social stability. Knowing that the present society is maintained by the Gold King Kokujouji's existence alone, he took it upon himself to succeed that duty after Kokujouji's death. At the same time, due to shouldering the burden of king-slaying from Suoh Mikoto's death, his own fate became uncertain.

[ABILITIES, TACTICS] As a king, possesses enormous power, with its attribute being "ruling" over all kinds of things. Within the boundaries of his activated Sanctum, can restore or reconstruct things. Also, within the Sanctum, the powers of his clansmen are enhanced, while the powers of those from other clans and strains are weakened and even overridden (not in terms of special ability but in terms of raw power). Can freely use the superhuman swordplay and martial arts incorporating superpowers. Even without relying on his superability, possesses swordsmanship capable of overwhelming Yatougami Kuroh without drawing his sword. It was possible mainly due to his intelligence rather than physical training.

[POWER] A (king class)

[LIKES] Tea, wagashi, Japanese cuisine.

[DISLIKES] Disorder, chaos, vulgar individuals.

[HOBBIES] Tea ceremony. Performs the tea ceremony in his office or wherever it is where he dispatches to. Puzzles. Likes block puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, and any other type that requires building an orderly structure. Usually does not smoke, but indulges in smoking from time to time. Smoked for a period when studying abroad.

[FASHION] Due to staying active in his official capacity 24 hours a day, does not have many chances to wear anything besides his uniform. It is unclear if he has any preferences in civilian outfits on the rare occasions of wearing them. For sleeping, prefers Japanese-style clothing (due to its comfort)

[BODY] He is slim but has sufficient stamina. Whether he works out or not is unclear. Due to efficient application of the available physical prowess thanks to his outstanding intelligence, sees no need in having great physical strength. Applying his superpower when necessary, displays superhuman physical abilities. Has severe myopia. His glasses are not for show.

[INTELLIGENCE] Exceedingly high, beyond the scope of ordinary people's imagination. From an observer's viewpoint, when presented with a problem, he provides the solution immediately, seemingly without spending any time on considering it.

[BELIEFS] Officially, honors and respects order, but personally does not necessarily act in accordance with clear-set rules, nor is averse to resorting to extra legal means. Exhibits the pattern of "acting without letting himself be bound by the rules in order to protect the rules of the majority" which can be viewed as self-righteous. At the same time, that way of thinking can also be viewed as a requirement for someone in the transcendental position of an extremely powerful king.

RELATIONSHIPS

[EARLY YEARS] Born to a family running a landscape gardening business. Both parents, as well as his magnanimous older brother, are ordinary people of virtue. Reishi was the only outstanding, high achieving member of the household, but he was not worshiped or avoided for it, he was simply honestly loved as a member of the family. He exceedingly excelled at studies. Has the experience of studying abroad. Munakata lives in the Scepter 4 dorm, while there are 6 people living in the Munakata family house - his father, mother, older brother, brother's wife, niece and nephew.

[TIMELINE] ・1988 Munakata Reishi is born. ・Summer 2010 Munakata awakens as the Blue King. Awashima becomes his first clansman. Suoh and Munakata meet for the first time. ・December 2012 To prevent the Damocles Down, Munakata kills Suoh in the course of the School Island incident.

ATTITUDE AND THOUGHTS TOWARDS OTHERS

[TERMS OF ADDRESS FOR HIMSELF] First person pronoun of choice is "watashi". Rarely, in private, switches to "ore". Second person preferred pronouns are "anata" and "kimi". On rare occasions, uses "omae" to address Suoh. Speaks politely although his words could be viewed as "hypocritical courtesy", sounding polite on the surface but being rude in intent. His catchphrase is "getting straight to the point". Although he usually speaks in a roundabout and obfuscating way, when he wants to make a strong assertion, he prefaces it with this phrase.

[TOWARDS AWASHIMA SERI, FUSHIMI SARUHIKO, OTHER SCEPTER 4 TROOPS] "Awashima-kun", "Fushimi-kun", "kimi". Uses polite language even towards his subordinates, but on occasions mixes in sarcasm or speaks his mind very bluntly. Despite that, tends to veil the true reasons behind his actions, but his subordinates do not mind being kept in the dark much. The tendency could be viewed either as him putting a wall between himself and others or, alternatively, as a relationship of mutual trust at a safe distance.

[TOWARDS KOKUJOUJI DAIKAKU] "Gozen" (Your Excellency), "anata". Takes the attitude of a lower ranking person, but does not understate his dignity as another king and does not show any fear of incurring Kokujouji's displeasure or wrath. His is the attitude of a daring youth.

[TOWARDS ISANA YASHIRO] "Isana Yashiro", "anata", "kimi". In season 1, was interested and at the same time wary of the mysterious boy. After the boy's true identity as the Silver King came to light, Munakata showed the basic degree of respect towards him, and although it is clear that he does not mind establishing a cooperative alliance, he does not fully trust the boy either. Also, feels somewhat resentful towards the Silver King who ran away, forsaking his duty.

[TOWARDS YATOUGAMI KUROH] "Yatougami Kuroh-kun", "Yatougami-kun", "kimi". Had a slight interest in Kuroh ever since Kuroh was Miwa Ichigen's retainer. In season 1, when he learned that Kuroh joined forces with the mysterious boy Isana Yashiro, his interest grew and Munakata was investigating Kuroh through conversations and fights. Kuroh who is straightforward and has faith in himself is suitable to be a Scepter 4 member. Sensing a potential in Kuroh, Munakata wishes he could have Kuroh as one of his subordinates had they been lucky enough to meet differently.

[TOWARDS SUOH MIKOTO] "Suoh Mikoto", "anata", "omae". While the line is blurred, there is a public and a private side to their interactions. For the latter, Munakata's expressions become somewhat rough. The very fact of a private facet of himself he only shows to Suoh Mikoto existing proves that Munakata is human, at the same time it also denotes that not even he is a perfect king.

#k project #project k #k translation

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wendynerdwrites · 7 years ago

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Wendy, can you reassure me? I want to go see Wonder Woman, but ... Friend: "I hope you're keeping your expectations for Wonder Woman low. I went with a friend who studies film and she thinks the movie is not very feminist"

TBH, I found it feminist, but I’d really have to know what the arguments are. I don’t hang my standards for a feminist film on “Female lead who beats up people”, but I’ll admit, some nuances can escape me. But it is hard to give a full answer without spoilers and without knowing what the exact arguments are.

I’m of course going to say “go see it”. Even with its flaws, it’s one of the best movies currently playing, it could potentially lead to more female-centric films WITH female directors getting work, it might lead to Warner Brothers learning from the success and giving us decent Gotham City Sirens and Harley Quinn movies, and it’s also just a purely enjoyable movie. (even my mom, who normally doesn’t even like superhero films, loved it).

Could there have been more PoC taking more central roles among the Amazons? Yes. Could Etta Candy have had more to do? Yes. Did the characterizations of Charlie and “Chief” get to me? Totally (They had good characters, but the stereotyping was, uh, heavy. I mean, the Native guy is literally named “Chief”, FFS) But one of the things I enjoyed about the movie is that it doesn’t make the female empowerment about men through big moments where Diana has to “prove” she can do things despite being a woman where she’s framed as “showing up” the boys. (sorry, but those moments end up being more about the men than the women. And it does sort of reinforce the idea that men SHOULD be surprised by competent women, and yes, can even send the message to women that 1) Their skills are “threatening” and 2) That such behavior from men is acceptable.). In much the way Fury Road does, there’s no time wasted on “But you’re a girl” and “I feel emasculated!” People just do what they have to do and believe in each other. There’s a ton of “Diana, No!”/”Diana, YES!” moments, but it has more to do with her doing things that are superhuman (like deflecting a bajillion bullets and ripping apart trenches without breaking a sweat). Diana’s naivete, when I first heard about it before I saw the film, made me worried, because I was afraid that it would involve stereotypical moments where she has to be “humbled” or talked down to by (mostly male) characters. But it’s scripted very well. Steve knows she’s smart, he argues his points, but it’s never a one-way thing.

The fact that this takes place in World War I has a lot of good reasons for it, but among them is that it works better thematically than WWII. Diana definitely doesn’t get why people are fighting this war and doing the things they’re doing, but you still get the clear sense that neither does anyone else, entirely. WWII, there WAS a genuine, straight-up villain where, yes, many of the Allies did not great things that enabled the Axis, but it was up against Nazis, so… WWI, on the other hand, was just a clusterfuck of unclear, mixed, and contradictory motivations, pettiness, and incompetence on all sides. If you fought for any side, it was simply because your country is on that side. So while Diana’s naivete still stands out, her confusion and struggle really does mirror any other character or even any soldier in WWI. She has a character arc that makes sense, is served by the setting, and she’s at no point infantilized or condescended to for it. So I was actually, truly pleasantly surprised by how well it was scripted. I know some might have some issues with Diana’s arc being naivete on principle, but honestly, I can’t think of a way for her not to be naive that a) would stay true to her origin story and b) not be totally disingenuous. She grew up on an island utopia totally isolated from the rest of the world where the biggest issue was “SHOULD we train Diana to fight?” and she’s entering the rest of the world in the midst of the biggest war ever, of course she’s not going to know things. Neither did any of the other people who entered the war who WERE raised in this world. Her naivete stems from her upbringing. And pretty much EVERYONE entered WWI totally naive, anyway.

Also, the way she does things, the determination she shows, actually make sense. She isn’t a complete moron or paranoid a-hole like the other “heroes” in the DCEU thus far. Despite being the “naive” one, she’s not incompetent enough to flatten entire cities like Superman, not as easily manipulated and paranoid as Batman, not as idiotically poor at communicating as Batman or Superman, she’s not got the near-suicidal hubris of whoever it was in Suicide Squad that claimed to be Amanda Waller. Like, objectively, she is easily one of the smartest, most competent, characters in the DCEU, even during her “you should be very proud of your ice cream!” phase, it’s very clear that both Metropolis and Gotham City would be waaaaay better off with her as their defender since she’s the only person who can actually wreck shit without DESTROYING ENTIRE CITIES FULL OF INNOCENTS, would never try to defend the world with an EVIL GOD WITCH whose only leash is a heart you’re not bothering to properly monitor (and then your other failsafe is a team of other people you can barely control, most of whom, rather than superpowers, just have excellent sniper abilities, martial arts, and a boomerang…? THAT was supposed to both combat SUPERMAN and your god-witch? Seriously, I will NEVAH forgive Suicide Squad for making Amanda Waller into such a corrupt, incompetent asshole. Sorry, tangent, but Amanda Waller is sacred to me, and making her such a FAILURE to me is like making Steve Rogers a HYDRA agent. Just… No.) and doesn’t get turned into Lex Luthor’s dumb puppet so easily or want to murder someone just because they’re super strong. UGH the DCEU…

She’s competent always. And while she does learn things from Steve and the others, she does everything on her own terms, and doesn’t get “shut down” in any way where she’s just so absurdly wrong about a thing and Steve Trevor just lets her know what’s what and she just starts doing things as he wishes.

Spoilers below:

Even when it seems like the moment comes where it seems like she’s “learned” that Steve was right and she was wrong all along, it turns out to be more complicated than that.

On one hand, he is right about people being grey morally, and that it’s not just one God of War making people do bad things. On the other, Diana is ALSO right that there is, in fact, a God of War still influencing people (even if he isn’t forcing everything and just “whispering inspiration”) and that he must be destroyed. And she still has the mission of the Amazons to destroy Ares she has to fulfill. He does exist, and she still has that mission.

Granted, there may be/are some things that make this movie seem less groundbreaking or feminist due to some possible constraints, like the deliberate courting of a family-friendly MPAA rating, and the superhero film and origin story formulas. And, like I said, there are flaws, but I honestly can’t imagine a superhero film, or think of many mainstream blockbusters (aside from Fury Road) that are more or even necessarily as feminist as this one.

I’d like to know what your friend’s points are. I’m not a student on film techniques, and it can come down to a perspective thing. I mean, there are people who seem to truly think that the live-action Cinderella remake is “more empowering” and “feminist” than the original animated film. Whereas I actually think it managed to somehow be LESS EMPOWERING and “feminist” than the 50′s film featuring female characters either being petty or dressing up and the line “leave the sewing to the women.”

It possible I missed something, or that I simply don’t agree. But I’d like to know what your friend has to say.

Still, go see it. Even go see it with her and see what you think. It’s awesome and fun. Is it the perfect feminist film? No. But I don’t even think that exists anyways, so…

#wonder woman #wonder woman meta #feminism #Diana Princess of Themyscira #Steve Trevor #World War I #movies #asks #sarellathesandsnake

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junker-town · 6 years ago

Text

Why Greg Olsen would (and wouldn’t) take the ‘Monday Night Football’ job

The Panthers’ most important receiver could be headed to the booth — but will he go?

Greg Olsen has been hotly linked to the vacant Monday Night Football job ever since Jason Witten announced he was returning to the NFL. Now there’s a bizarre back-and-forth of rumors, and counter rumors either confirming, or denying that Olsen will take over the job.

Olsen’s interest in broadcasting is nothing new. The 34-year-old tight end made the most of his season-ending injury in 2017 to test the waters as a guest broadcaster for FOX, and he made an impact. Olsen only called one NFL game, but it was enough to show that he had the talent to hold his own in the booth. Now, with the Panthers at a crossroad and the coveted Monday night job available, a perfect storm has brewed for rumors to bubble to the surface and Olsen’s name become inexorably linked to the ESPN job.

Why moving to Monday Night Football makes sense for Olsen.

Source tells me Greg Olsen is taking the ESPN job. During the Combine Ron Rivera said that Olsen told him he wants to keep playing football. That was before the Jason Witten news though...

— Sheena Quick (@Sheena_Marie3) March 11, 2019

The biggest reason is simple: He’s really good at it. Olsen has a natural charisma about him, and the football knowledge to be a compelling addition to the booth. Taking the MNF gig would set him up for years, if not decades of work — and considering it’s the tail-end of his playing career it’s unclear if the job would come around again when he decides to finally hang up the cleats.

Also, let’s face it, Witten was horrifically bad on Monday Night Football. He’s not a tough act to follow, and that might be extremely-alluring to Olsen, whose first-time broadcasting job only requires him to be “better than Witten,” and not immediately saddled with the expectations of being as good as Tony Romo.

Olsen hasn’t managed to play a full season since 2016. Reoccurring injuries to his right foot have left the explosive tight end sidelined more than he’s played in each of the past two seasons. In December of 2018 he ruptured his plantar fascia, in addition to nagging foot injuries.

Adding to the situation is the reality that the Panthers are facing uncertainty. Cam Newton had offseason surgery to repair his shoulder, and an offensive shuffle is currently underway with the team in dire need of an upgrade on the offensive line, as well as wide receiver, where the Panthers are still waiting to see if 2018 rookie D.J. Moore or Curtis Samuel can evolve into true No. 1 targets for Newton.

It’s unlikely the Panthers will make a playoff push in 2019 unless they find a way to significantly upgrade their offense in a short period of time. That’s made more difficult considering the NFC South is poised to be another murderer’s row this season, with the Saints standing to be dominant, and the Falcons looking to bounce back from a disappointing 2018.

Simply put: The pros of continuing to play might not be enough to outweigh the Monday Night Football job.

Why Olsen would stay with the Panthers.

Was told both ESPN and Fox made previous offers to Olsen, but not anything that would convince him to retire. MNF could still come calling, but nothing imminent.

— Joe Person (@josephperson) March 11, 2019

Before the Monday Night Football job became available Olsen staunchly stated his desire to keep playing in 2019. He’s a competitive player, still chasing a Super Bowl and his friendships on the team can’t be overlooked.

Following the 2016 season Olsen was garnering potential Hall of Fame buzz after becoming the first tight end in history to record three straight 1,000-yard seasons. While that possibility is likely gone, Olsen is well aware of how critical he is to the Panthers offense, and choosing to leave the team early would put Carolina in a lurch. Normally this isn’t much of a concern for a player, but Olsen has proven he’s willing to go to bat for the team, especially after they signed him to a two-year extension following his injury-wracked 2017 season.

When healthy, Olsen has shown he still has the skills to be among the best tight ends in the NFL. Appearing in just seven games in 2018, he still made an impact when he was able to play. While he caught just 24 passes, four of those were for touchdowns. When he is on the field he remains Newton’s No. 1 target.

As hotly pursued as Olsen has been in broadcasting, it’s entirely likely some job would be open to him whenever he decides to retire. It might not be Monday Night Football (at least out of the gate), but there might not be enough motivation to make the jump now, knowing he could still play and cement his NFL legacy, before making the jump.

What has Olsen said?

Not much, honestly. Before Witten announced his return to the NFL Olsen was firm that he wanted to return and play with the Panthers in 2019 — but the Monday Night Football job has an inescapable allure that a simple Sunday booth spot for FOX doesn’t.

When it came to the swirling rumors on Monday he decided to take a coy route.

Reading twitter like... pic.twitter.com/5E2Nm4ZNBR

— Greg Olsen (@gregolsen88) March 11, 2019

Will he or won’t he? Only Greg Olsen knows at this point.

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ogwnostalgia · 4 years ago

Text

Cover art by Mike Vosberg

Title: The Secret

Series: Tales From the Crypt

Original Airdate: July 31, 1990

Description: A 12-year-old orphan is adopted by a rich childless couple (William Frankfather and Grace Zabriskie) who harbor a dark secret. However, the couple themselves do not realize that the young orphan has a dark secret of his own.

Note: This wasn’t actually the cover photo I wanted to use, but every screencap I could find was way too spoilery. So instead, enjoy the episode art that the Cryptkeeper shows us going into the episode.

Nostalgia Time!

Boy, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these full moon werewolf recaps, huh? I’m really slacking on them! But here we have the second of the two whole werewolf episodes Tales From the Crypt ever did, and like the other one, this one also has vampires. Well, who doesn’t like vampires with their werewolves, I guess.

So, I really dig this episode. I know I didn’t include it in my favorites list I published a while back, but for a while I had this episode on constant rotation. Due in part to Larry Drake, whose performances I always enjoy. (RIP. And seriously, he’s the only good thing about Dr. Giggles.) Vampires, werewolves, mysterious goings-on . . . yeah, this episode sells it hard.

Recap

We open, of course, with Cryptkeeper intro. He’s surprisingly sedate (for him, at least), and just makes a few Charles Dickens puns in reference to the copy of Oliver Twist he’s reading. He’s disappointed that there was no twist, because he had such Great Expectations. Yeah. Moving on.

The story opens on a dark and stormy night at the Gaines Orphanage. We follow a young boy in pajamas and a coonskin cap (because this is the 50s? Unclear.) sneaking down the stairs inside. We can hear one woman telling another that these boys can’t be trusted, and we fade out on their conversation as Coonskin Cap makes his way into the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. He grabs a chicken drumstick that’s just sitting uncovered by itself on a plate, and puts back just the bone a few seconds later. Ew?

The boy grabs an apple that is also sitting on a plate in the fridge for some fucking reason, and makes his way back out of the kitchen. We can now hear Older Woman telling Younger Woman that the boys cheat off each other’s papers, while Younger Woman protests that she’s never witnessed that. They move out to the room Boy is in as Older Woman says that they have to do something about Theodore – he’s way past the desirable age for adoption. From the indignant look on Boy’s face, we surmise that he is Theodore. He is also hiding pretty much in plain sight under a table.

Younger Woman wants to know what happened to his parents, and Older Woman snaps that she must never mention his parents, or his behavior problems! Well, okay. That’s not super suspicious or anything.

Then Theodore drops the apple, which rolls right up to Older Woman’s feet. Smooth, kiddo.

Older Woman (whose name is Miss Hagstead) drags Theodore out from under the table and accuses him of spying. Nope, he was just hungry, because he’s bigger than the other kids. Miss Hagstead orders Younger Woman to take him back to his room, “and make sure he stays there,” while brandishing a key. I’m pretty sure locking kids in their rooms at an orphanage violates fire codes or something, but sure. Asshole.

Younger Woman (now known as Miss Heather) walks Theodore upstairs while telling him the meal plan for tomorrow, because this kid is apparently a bottomless pit, and much like my little dog, extremely food-motivated. We transition to a shot of clouds revealing a full moon. No werewolf action yet, though. We’re only 4 minutes in, after all.

The next morning, Miss Heather frantically reports to Miss Hagstead that Theodore is gone and his window is open! Miss Hagstead is annoyed, not worried. He throws these temper tantrums sometimes and runs off for a few hours. Oh. Is it always during the . . . full moon . . . ?

Cut to the door opening and Theodore standing on the porch, covered in dirt. Miss Hagstead yells at him, then orders him to the kitchen to help Joey with the dishes. As he walks by, she complains that “it’s getting worse.” Oh . . . ?

Miss Heather rocks up and sends Joey out of the kitchen so she can tell Theo that some people are coming by later tonight and are very interested in meeting him. He knows what this means, right? Well, normally it could mean adoption and happily ever after, but this is Tales From the Crypt, so.

New Mom might have stolen that jacket from Cruella de Vil

Cut to these two weirdos showing up and telling Theo that he’s perfect and they’ll take him. Like he’s a puppy in a store window. Or a tasty veal cutlet at the butcher’s shop. (Spoilers?)

Theo asks what if he doesn’t want to go, and New Mom (Mrs. Colbert) tempts him with living in the lap of luxury – he’ll have his own bathroom and towels with his initials on them! Wow, just what every 12-year-old boy dreams of!

Miss Hagstead, on the other hand, is clearly using every ounce of self-control not to scream, “Now listen you little shit, you’re going! End of story!”

Oh, spoke too soon. Miss Hagstead pulls Theo off to the kitchen to “help her make tea” and proceeds to basically scream exactly that at him. He asks what happened to his real parents, and she says they died when he was just a baby, but refuses to provide details. She tells him the Colberts are “a little eccentric” but they’ll provide him with a lovely home and lots of good, sweet things to eat.

Okay, I was joking about Theo being like a food-motivated dog, but apparently everyone else was dead serious about it. Huh.

There’s a moody shot of Larry Drake, who is the Colberts’ . . . butler? valet? something? and then Theo staring moodily out the back of a car while Miss Heather and the Orphan Boys wave goodbye. Also, the lighting is so blue it’s almost impossible to see what’s happening.

There’s voice over from Mrs. Colbert as they drive away, talking about how wonderful Theo will have it at his new home, and she asks her husband, “Won’t it be wonderful having him?” He replies, “Mmm. Wonderful. Having him.” Yes, yes, this is normal, nothing to worry about!

They pull up to the house and holy shit everything onscreen is so blue I can’t tell what anything looks like, goddamn. Fortunately the interior of the house has normal lighting. I really don’t know what they were thinking with this fucking blue filter, but whatever. Theo comments that it looks like a museum, and as he reaches out to touch a huge . . . urn? vase? a Rottweiler rocks up out of nowhere to bark and growl at him. New Mom tells him he must never touch anything; some of these pieces are very old.

So. We have foster/adoptive parents who have things at touching-height that the kids aren’t allowed to touch, and the presence of Grace Zabriskie? Is this just Child’s Play 2 all over again?

The Colberts and Larry Drake show Theo to his room, which is huge and contains tons of toys, including a model train going around its track and blowing a whistle. Theo turns to thank them, but all the adults have exited the room and locked him in. He runs to look out the keyhole, where New Mom is telling New Dad that he’s been so patient, while Theo calls out asking why they’ve locked him in. They walk off, ignoring him, and now it’s time for Doggie Jump Scare! as the Rottie (Mrs. Colbert called Doggie by name, but I don’t have captions and I can’t for the life of me figure out what she called him) jumps at the door, barking and growling.

Theo falls backwards to the floor, and exclaims, “What did Mrs. Hagstead tell them?!”

Well, Theo, she wanted to get rid of you, so it couldn’t have been that bad.

Theo is woken up the next morning by Larry Drake, AKA Tobias, serving him breakfast in bed. Well, I suppose it’s breakfast in the technical sense of it’s breaking his fast, but it’s all sweets – cake, pie, when Theo asks for milk, Tobias offers him a milkshake. Ooh, does it bring all the werewolves to the yard?

Theo notices there are bars on the windows, and Tobias assures him that there are bars on all the windows – for security. Eh, that might have been weird in the (I’m still not sure but possibly) 1950s, but it doesn’t really raise many eyebrows today.

Cue a montage of Theo playing with all his new toys, and eating enough cakes, eclairs, pie, and milkshakes for it to qualify as a miracle he doesn’t go into diabetic shock. Nope, nothing to worry about here; this isn’t a Hansel and Gretel story, so you should be perfectly safe!

Cut to this new little family all walking around the estate together, and Theo asking why he has to stay in his room all day while the Colberts are at “work.” Mm, work, yes. Definitely work. New Mom answers that Theo is the most precious thing they have, and they can’t risk something happening to him. And Tobias is far too old to be chasing after him in the woods. Umm, Larry Drake was 40 when this episode aired. I turn 39 in less than two weeks. I feel very insulted right now. Not that I want to chase 12-year-olds around in the woods, but still. Very insulted.

Theo goes on to ask if they can go out sometime and do something together like a real family – a movie, roller skating, a ballgame? I’m trying to picture these weirdos on roller skates, and honestly, it’s kinda hilarious. Anyway, they claim they’re busy tomorrow planning a surprise for Theo. It’s a secret, though. Theo hates secrets.

Tobias stares pensively after them as he falls behind with Doggie. At least, I think he does. This blue filter is pretty much the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed.

Cut to Tobias bringing Theo yet more junk food for lunch. Somehow, Theo isn’t dying of malnutrition yet. He asks if Tobias can come back and see him before dinner, and Tobias says he supposes he can stop by and they can play cards or something.

Cue the “Theo and Tobias become friends” montage.

Theo thinks about fun times he had at the orphanage with Miss Heather and his friends, and is suddenly . . . homesick, I guess it would be? Kind of? He asks where the Colberts are, and just as Tobias says they’re indisposed, they burst into the room with party horns and a birthday cake, yelling “Surprise!”

Theo is surprised, mostly because it isn’t his birthday. New Mom brushes it off – of course it’s not his birthday; it wouldn’t be a surprise if it was. Then they dish up about half the cake onto a plate for him, because they clearly want him to go into insulin shock. Theo’s not hungry because he had two boxes of Crackerjacks about an hour ago. Gross.

The Colberts tell Theo they’re going out to paint the town red. Yes. Yes, I bet you are. They call him “son” and tell him to open his presents and have fun with Tobias.

Cut to Tobias bonding with Theo as he tucks him into bed. Tobias was also an orphan who never got adopted; he agrees that Theo may call him “Toby” since Theo used to know a Tobias at his orphanage who went by Toby. Then Mrs. Colbert calls Tobias out of the room.

Later that night, Theo is woken up by the Colberts talking outside his door. New Mom says that this was her idea; she calls the shots; and she’ll say when their little orphan delicacy is ready for . . . whatever this is. They open the door and stare at Theo, who pretends to be asleep, and New Mom says she doesn’t think she can wait much longer. They’ll tell Theo their secret when they get home tonight.

I’m . . . sure it’s a fun secret, right? . . . right?

Time passes until it’s four thirty in the damn morning, and someone unlocks Theo’s bedroom door. Oh, it’s Toby! He rushes in to wake Theo up, telling him they have to get out of here. Theo moans that he doesn’t feel well.

Yeah, no shit. You’ve just spent what I’m about to guess is a full month eating roughly the same amount of sugar as Brazil exports in a year; what did you expect?

They start to make their way down the stairs, but are stopped by Mrs. Colbert, who looks considerably more vampish than we’ve seen previously. Apparently Tobias was promised immortality in exchange for his babysitting services, but he’s changed his mind and doesn’t want Theo to end up vampire chow.

Mrs. Colbert protests that his blood is so sweet now, and . . . okay. So, they’ve been feeding him nothing but sugar so that his blood will taste sweet to them? They’re vampires with a sweet tooth? That’s . . . okay. Sure. I mean, they couldn’t just get a mouthful of blood, pour some sugar on me in their mouths, and shake it around? Their plot seems overly complicated, is all I’m saying.

Anyway, Mr. Colbert appears out of nowhere on the stairs above Tobias, and bites into him while Theo laments his new friend’s demise. Theo jumps down the stairs and runs out the door as Mrs. Colbert sends Doggie after him, commanding Doggie to leave some for them.

Theo runs off into the woods; Doggie chases after; we’re shown a full moon as the Colberts join the chase, so I was right – it’s been a full month. A month of no food except sweets. I’m feeling sick just thinking about it.

Theo stumbles and falls as Doggie (it sounds like New Dad calls him “Lalitu”? “Laleetoo”? I don’t fucking know, y’all) catches up to him. The Colberts come out of the blueness darkness and we hear growling.

Theo is on his hands and knees facing away from the Colberts, and as they approach he tells them that now he knows what happened to his parents. You see, he has a secret too, and it’s better than the Colberts’. New Mom is the picture of condescending boredom, telling Theo that she’s sure he does. As Theo continues, his voice gets deeper and growlier. He turns around to reveal that he is a werewolf – with a taste for vampires!

I’m not quite sure how he would know that, but you do you, kiddo.

He leaps at Mrs. Colbert and rips her throat out (again, I think. This deep blue everything is a bitch for actually seeing what’s happening), then takes off after Mr. Colbert, who has started running away like a little bitch. Theo catches up to him, and he screams as we fade to black . . .

. . . and cut to the interior of the orphanage as someone pounds on the front door. Mrs. Hagstead opens the door to reveal Theo and Doggie on the porch. Theo tells her that he knows his secret now, and he thinks some things are going to change around here. He stares at her, and there’s wolf-face superimposed over his kid-face. Mrs. Hagstead is terrified, a wolf howls, and we fade to black again.

And then we get the Cryptkeeper’s wrap-up and exit puns. They’re not worth spending space on here. Sorry, Crypty.

Nostalgia Glasses Off

So yeah. This werewolf episode took basically the entire episode to werewolf. And to vampire, for what it’s worth.

So, what are we to believe did happen to Theo’s parents? We can assume they were also werewolves, right? Are we to believe they were killed by . . . werewolf hunters? Vampires? Buffy? Sam and Dean? The episode treats it like we should just know, and I really don’t.

I still like this episode a lot, but I think it’s fallen off of my favorites list. There’s not much to it when you boil it down.

Except diabeetus. This episode is full of diabeetus.

(Note: Wilford Brimley passed away the day after I finished this recap (including inserting these images), and a couple days before it was scheduled to go up. Weird coincidence. RIP, and thanks for the memes, sir.)

Well, it's another full moon, so you know what that means - time for a werewolf story! This month I recapped the Tales From the Crypt episode, The Secret! Can you guess what the secret is? I bet you can! (The secret is ... diabeetus!) Title: The Secret Series: Tales From the Crypt Original Airdate: July 31, 1990 Description: A 12-year-old orphan is adopted by a rich childless couple (William Frankfather and Grace Zabriskie) who harbor a dark secret.

#diabeetus is the real enemy #Full Moon Blowout #grace zabriskie #horror #kids are the worst #larry drake #recaps #Tales from the crypt #Television #the secret #vampires #werewolves

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