#that and the knowledge i currently have of him

[maddie-2022]

For a specific example from my own life: my boss at my current job is a technical expert who has ten years of experience doing basically my job. I respect her and defer to her judgement, because I know she has relevant knowledge and experience that I don't.

My boss at my old job was a nepo baby who didn't know shit. He was a moron with a *deeply* unearned ego who just got in the way. I have zero respect for him.

[dollediary]

webcam perv! pt. 1

pairings ❥ heeseung x fem!reader

point of view ❥ third person, omniscient

warnings ❥ mutual masturbation, cyberstalking, noncon recording

synopsis ❥ you meet heeseung on omegle and quickly hit it off until you accidentally disconnect. feeling at a loss from not being able to find him again, you give up and live life as if it never happened. unbeknownst to you, however, he turns out to be a hacker who hacked into your camera, resorting to watching your secretly from behind the screen… until he didn’t.

word count ❥ 4.4k

taglist: @rayofsunshineeee

author’s note: sorry it took me a bit longer to release, i ended up rewriting over the whole draft. i was gonna write the full story in one go, but if there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that i love making series. anyway i hope yall enjoy! & a reminder that my requests are open (send as an ask or submission pls do not dm me lol). go check out my other stories while you’re at it bc i have much more cooking! not proofread so don’t come for me!

y/n lay blank faced on her bed with her phone in hand. it had been hours since she’d gotten home from her classes, and now she was just scrolling mindlessly on tiktok out of boredom. her room was quiet except for the occasional hum of her heater and the everchanging audios blasting from her phone’s speakers.

she sighed, tossing her phone to the side resorting to staring at the ceiling. as the days were growing colder, y/n couldn’t help but to feel this growing sense of loneliness creeping in, like there was something missing that she couldn’t quite put her finger onㅡexcitement was the closest word she think of. she didn’t have many friends to talk to, or text, or hang out with—just her best friend natty, but the girl was currently unreachable as she had already fallen asleep after their brief phone call.

midterms were always the dryest times for y/n. after spending hours in the library, forcing far too many categories of knowledge down her throat for her own goodㅡ just to end up with barely above average scores, she was too drained to do much of anything else when she got home. but, it was hard to just sleep. she was intransigent when it came to resting after studying because she wanted to give herself the free time she’d lost instead. usually being on her phone, and rotting her brain away with the useless curated content that she handpicked for herself would suffice. but on days like thisㅡ where her studying ended close to (or in this case, after) midnight, it wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy the dopamine she was longing for.

after a few moments of lying in a frozen state of staring off into nothing, she reached for her laptop, opening it on impulse. omegle. it had been a while since she’d used it, and honestly, it wasn’t the best idea, but she figured it might help pass the time. and maybe it’d even give her some form of human interaction, though her hopes weren’t too high given the website’s reputation. she typed “k-pop” into the category field, hoping it’d narrow down the pool to people around her age who might share at least one interest with her.

the first few chats weren’t anything special. she ran through the typical brief hellos, the awkward pauses, and of course the familiar “stranger has disconnected.” a few times, however, she was met with the sight of creepy old men who took pleasure in flashing, reacting at lightning speed to skip the chats before things could get worse. some people seemed normal at first, friendly even, but as soon as they’d start saying weird thingsㅡor worse, making noises that gave away their intentions, it’d soil her mood once again as she refreshed her tab.

after getting skipped again for the umpteenth time, y/n found herself hovering her mouse over the “new chat” button, debating. she looked at the clock in the corner of her screen, she had already wasted 30 minutes trying to find a normal human being to talk to. she was beginning to wonder if this was really a good idea to begin with. was it even worth possibly getting harassed for another half hour, in the name of being social? she weighed her options: she could either waste another 2 hours on tiktok, or go to bed. neither seemed appetizing for the hunger of connection she craved. with a sigh, she decided to try one more. and if it didn’t work out, it just meant that it was time to call it a night. she clicked to start a new chat.

stranger is typing…

stranger: hii

you: hello

stranger: m23

you: f22

stranger: cam?

you: earn it?

this one didn’t seem too bad so far, but she wasn’t going to make an early judgement. the man seemed to respect her decision as he quickly changed the conversation. they kept things light, alternating on asking each other random questions back and forth about hobbies, favorite foods, movies, shows, and music. the conversation was easy, fun even, and y/n found herself smiling a little despite the earlier frustration. it was like she was finally getting what she was looking for. with the conversation being tame, he took it as a green light to ask again.

stranger: can i see you now?

you: fine lol

y/n hesitated before turning her camera on and adjusted her hair quickly before looking at the screen. the male in her vision had a sharp, almost angelic face, with delicate features that seemed to be personally sculpted by the man above. his hair was dark and tousled, the slight messiness giving him a laid-back, calm vibe with his headset only adding character to his visual as they laid over his ears. his eyes were a captivating deep brown. they were soft and friendly, it made it hard to look away. even through the webcam, it was clear he had this undeniable charm, his steady gaze hinting that he knew the effect he had on others. the two of them stayed still, ogling each other for a bit, the stare down only being interrupted when he abruptly started typing again.

stranger is typing…

stranger: damn ur fine lol

you: thx so are you

stranger: you in korea?

you: yeah

stranger: me too

stranger is typing…

stranger: audio?

you: yk what? yeah

heeseung and y/n both go to turn on their audio. while her room was silent, disregarding the small noise coming from her room’s heater, heeseung had r&b music softly playing in the background. it only added to this boy next door vibe she was getting from him. the two of them were silent for a second before heeseung decided to break the ice by speaking first.

“hello? let me know if you can hear me.” his voice came through clearly, deep and smooth, carrying a natural warmth that drew her in without him even trying. a part of her was convinced he had to secretly be a weirdo. what was someone as attractive as him even doing on this site, yet alone at this hour? she took a breath before answering.

“hi, yeah i can hear you,” she replied, her tone a little uncertain, unsure of how to match his cool energy. she wasn’t exactly the extroverted type of person to begin with, you can only imagine how much harder it was to speak when such a captivating face was waiting for her response in real time.

heeseung only chuckled softly, the sound seamlessly exuding natural confidence. “so… i guess we finally get to talk now.”

y/n smiled at his words, her need for approval rising as she juggled through all the responses she could make to keep him engaged, “yeah, seems like it,” she responded, her voice was steady now as she tried to shake off the nervousness creeping in. 

heeseung chuckled, shifting closer to his keyboard as his fingers danced over the keys. the music in the background shifted, the beat changing just as he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. his voice lowered a notch as he spoke, a hint of amusement in his tone. ”i’m, heeseung, by the way.”

“y/n,” she responded.

“i gotta admit,” he said, “i wasn’t sure if you’d actually turn on your mic.”

“why’s that?” she asked, an almost muted giggle escaping her lips as she twirled a strand of her hair, her fingers displaying how nervous she felt. heeseung watched her with a quiet intensity, noticing every little movement she made. the way her fingers fidgeted and how she avoided meeting his gaze through the screen.

“i don’t know,” he said, his tone lazy and nonchalant, but holding a teasing undertoneㅡ a subtle shift she didn’t quite catch onto. “guess i’m just lucky you did.” he didn’t say anything about her fidgeting, though. he didn’t need to. she seemed like the type to change her behavior once it was called out, and he was more captivated by it than he let on. there was something about her shyness, moreso the way she couldn’t quite hide it, that intrigued him. “so, what do you usually do when you’re not chatting with strangers on the internet?”

his question had caught y/n off guard for a brief moment, another nervous laugh slipping past her lips as she tugged on her shirt’s collar, adjusting it to make sure nothing was out of place though she didn’t actually need to. she didn’t know why, but something about talking to him felt different from the others. “uh, not much… if i’m not studying, i just watch tiktoks or call my friend if she’s not tired.” she replied hoping the answer sounded casual enough.

“hm, sounds like you’ve got some time to kill,” heeseung smirked, inching his chair closer to the screen. he opened a second tab, the soft clatter of his typing blending effortlessly with the mellow r&b drifting through the background.

“yeah, guess i do. life’s… kinda mundane, you know?” y/n replied sheepishly. her gaze followed his, noting the slight movement of his hands just out of view, but chucking it up to him searching for another song to play as the music shifted again. he didn’t back away from the screen this time, though. instead, he kept his eyes locked on hers, unwavering.

“i get it,” heeseung replied, his voice lowering slightly, but still keeping its laidback manner, like they were just two people having an ordinary conversation. “i’m the same, but i'm more of a youtube guy, i found out about this site through a video on there.” as he spoke, his finger subtly danced across the keyboard, the screen flickering with the quiet download of her IP address. his eyes stayed on the camera, his expression open and unreadable, like he was genuinely listening to her.

“that’s interesting, this app usually has a bad rep. like, there’s only creeps on here,” y/n said, though her words seemed to be misunderstood as heeseung furrowed his brows.

“are you trying to insinuate that i’m a creep?”

her eyes widened in shock, and she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. a stutter broke through her words. “what?! no! i’m just saying—i’ve run into a lot of them tonight before i landed on you. so i was just… i don’t know. forget i said anything.” she sulked, her face reddening with embarrassment at her failed attempt to relate. heeseung watched in awe, his lips curving into a small, knowing smile, at her mannerisms, finding every one of her reactions so cute. sensing her discomfort, he smoothly shifted the topic.

“i’m kidding, y/n.” he grinned, showcasing his pearly whites. “so… what’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to?” he asked, his tone light, but there was an underlying intensity to his gaze. he wasn’t just asking out of curiosity; he was studying her, absorbing every word she said, as if her answers would tell him everything he needed to know.

y/n paused, thinking for a moment before she answered. “probably traveling more. i feel like i’m always stuck in the same routine.”

“yeah, routines can be… limiting. but they’re also comforting, right?” he paused, his eyes flickering to a different part of his screen for just a moment before he continued. “you know, sometimes it’s those little moments, when everything feels a little too safe, that you need to shake things up.” he spoke so casually, like he was giving advice, but it sounded a bit odd to y/n. she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to his words, though she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. regardless, she found herself wanting to stay, wanting to know more. and she was always too paranoid for her own good anyway. it was probably nothing.

“i guess.”

“oh. yeah, but is that the only reason you’re on here?” heeseung’s fingers were still moving on his keyboard, the quiet clicking of the keys going unnoticed now. he wasn’t just talking anymore—he was already pulling the strings, weaving a subtle web around her, all while his words remained smooth and harmless. y/n’s lips pursed in thought, the sudden change in the atmosphere making her feel more curious than she was letting on.

“what do you mean?” she asked, confusion creeping into her tone as she leaned forward, trying to get a better look at him. heeseung’s system, working silently in the background, had breached the security of her wifi by now, scanning through the connected devices, its main goal being to gain access to her phone.

“i mean… it’s almost 4am, saturday night. you’re a cute girl, seem kind of introverted, but you give off this vibe... like you’re looking for some fun.”

whatever dimwitted perception y/n formed of him had shattered. he was no different from any of the other men she’d encountered prior. “oh. i don’t really do… that,” she replied, a slight pout playing on her lips. she moved her mouse to hover over the skip button, but she didn’t click it. something was keeping her here. maybe it was the way he looked at her—too attractive, too confident. she wasn’t sure, but she didn’t move.

heeseung noticed her hesitation, his grin widening. “oh, neither do i,” he said in a humoring manner, brushing her reaction off as if his earlier comment didn’t mean anything. “i just had to test the waters. can you blame me though? it’s not every day you meet an attractive girl on here. you said it yourself, there’s usually only creeps on here, right?”

“yeah,” she laughed, the sound effortlessly drawn out as she got caught in the pull of his charm. any cautions she had before seemed to dissipate as she got lost in his eyes. she debated whether she should just give in—it wasn’t like they’d see each other again, right? but then, the stories about girls who made impulsive choices, and got extorted, crept into her mind. the fear of becoming just another statistic arose.

“what do you have in mind?” she asked, her words slipping out before she could think them through. her people-pleasing tendencies had kicked in, but the smile that spread across his face made her heart race. somehow, it felt good, like she was doing something right. and that made it feel worth it. rewarding, even.

“whatever you’re offering, baby,” heeseung replied smoothly, his voice dipping into an unfamiliar, alluring tone that made her body tingle. as he spoke, his hand moved subtly off-screen, clicking to start recording. the faintest smirk curled on his lips as he leaned closer to the camera, his eyes burning into hers with a suggestiveness that made her feel seen in a way she hadn’t before. desired. wanted.

“i don’t know,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. a nervous smile played on her lips as her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. her eyes darting away from the camera before flicking back to his. “i’ve never done anything like this before.”

heeseung tilted his head slightly, his smirk widening as he studied her. there was something about her naivety, the way she danced on the edge of her own boundaries, that made his pulse quicken. he decided then and there that if he wasn’t already obsessed before, he definitely was now. utterly and completely.

“well, i’m honored to be the first,” his voice dripped with seduction, but his eyes glinted with something far more sinister.

her cheeks flushed as she hesitated again, her fingers picking at the fabric of her shirt before she finally blurted, “could you maybe…” she paused, laughing softly at how ridiculous she felt to ask. “show me something, too? just to keep it fair.” her words made heeseung pause for a moment before a low chuckle escaped him, growing into full, unrestrained laughter. he leaned back in his chair, shaking his head in amusement, his eyes never leaving her face.

she was truly a character—everything about her was so… adorable. her openness, her immediate trust in a complete stranger, and the impulsivity that seemed to pour out of her without a second thought. it was intoxicating. she was everything he’d been looking for, everything someone like him—a man with desires he dared not say aloud—would dream of finding. and yet, beneath his amusement, there was a darker realization. if she wasn’t careful and kept giving away pieces of herself so easily, someone would take advantage of her. someone crueler, more reckless, more dangerous than him. he couldn’t let that happen. not with anyone else at least. she was his now. and if she was going to be ruined, it would only be by him.

“would you like it better if i go first?” heeseung inquired, his voice smooth as the corners of his lips nearly curled into a restrained smirk. he watched her reaction closely, catching the way her quick, almost desperate nod betrayed her displayed excitement. it was endearing, almost painfully so. it drove him crazy. he pursed his lips, feigning contemplation, before his smile grew wider, softer. “thought so,” he murmured, his tone carrying just enough teasing warmth to make her feel both at ease. she was completely under his spell. 

he reached for his webcam, the movement slow as he decided to savor the moment. tilting it slightly, he aimed it downward, the lens capturing his relaxed posture, legs spread comfortably wide. the soft fabric of his sweatpants clung to him in just the right way, emphasizing his figure without him needing to do much at all. the unthought of confidence in his movements was enough to hold her gaze, her breath catching as the tension in the air thickened. his hands grazed over the fabric covering his length, a small hiss of relief leaving his lips as he did so. she had already gotten him painfully hard without even trying.

lifting his hips, he slides his sweats down. just enough for him to pull his cock out, an unintentional gasp falling from y/n’s lips at the sight of it. he couldn’t hide the rush of pride that surfaced at her reaction. it was a response he’d grown accustomed to from his long list of other victims on the site, but there was something about y/n that struck him differently. her wide-eyed gaze, the way her lips parted slightly as if she wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words—it was enough to ignite a deeper need within him, a desire to draw her in further, to leave her completely captivated by him.

a quiet curse slipped past his lips as he stroked, his hand barely being able to wrap around its girth. his movements were meticulous, unhurried as he moved to spread his precum over the rest of his length. he leaned back slightly, his gaze never leaving her face. his dark eyes carried a silent command, the faintest nod of his head urging her to follow his lead. he didn’t have to say a word—his confidence, his control, it was all laid bare in the way he watched her, waiting to see how far she would go.

it was then that y/n realized she couldn't back out now. not that she wanted toㅡ her curiosity, mingled with the pull he had over her, kept her rooted in place. but it was starting to feel too real, the weight of the moment sinking in as she hesitated, unsure of what he was expecting. the fact that he left it up to her made it even more difficult. her mind raced as she nervously tugged at the bottom of her shirt, praying her choice would be enough to satisfy him.

heeseung's gaze didn't waver, his expression unreadable but intent, as though he were savoring every second of her hesitation. when she finally moved, lifting her shirt to display her breasts. her cheeks burned as she moved her hands over one, massaging and pinching her nipples. his lips twitched into the faintest smile. to her, his reaction was subtle, leaving her questioning if she'd done enough. 

but to heeseung, it was everything.to him, everything about her was intoxicating to him, from the nervous way she moved, to the unsure glances she gave him. he would have been satisfied just seeing her collarbone. his heart raced at the thought of how easily she gave in, how willingly vulnerable she was in front of him. it inflated his ego even more, knowing he was the first to witness this side of her.

he forced himself to keep his expression composed, though his excitement was nearly impossible to contain. the speed of his fingers absentmindedly sped up, thinking of how he’d be able to relive it again later tonight. and he’d make sure to replay every moment, over and over, obsessing over the way she unwittingly gave herself to him.“ah~ fuck, y/n,” he whimpered, unable to contain the heat growing over him. his eyes snapped shut, immediately imagining his hand to be hers. his hips bucked, as he began thrusting into his fist chasing the feeling of a body he knew now that he just had to get his hands on. tonight wasn’t going to be enough, he needed more. 

y/n didn’t know where her confidence was coming from when her free hand snaked its way down to the hem of her shorts as she pushed past them straight into her panties. she scooted into a slouch allowing herself easier access as she began rubbing on her clit, the pressure soothing its throbbing ache and sending a sweet, shocking sensation throughout her body. she couldn’t bite back the moan that slipped outㅡ the noise sounding like music to heeseung’s ears. oh how jealous he was of her hands now. being able to touch her because he couldn’t. it wasn’t enough, nowhere near it.

”look at me,” he murmured, his voice rough, making her cheeks flush as she slowly opened her eyes to meet his. his gaze was full of desire, making her feel small in a way that was strangely exhilarating. she found herself wanting nothing more than to impress him. she bit her lip as she quickly moved to lower the camera, aiming it to display more of her chest and downward before returning to her prior position on the chair. it didn’t even matter to him that her shorts kept her beautiful cunt a mystery to himㅡ the whole picture was so fucking sexy. the way she was playing with her nipples, pinching and rolling them, the speed of her circular motions increasing as she chased her orgasm, the way her tongue rested on her bottom lip before she bit it, the way sheㅡ

“heeseung~ oh my god.”

fuck. if he was wasn’t already stroking fast enough, he was moving at godspeed now. he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold back. he rubbed his thumb along his tip’s slit as he kept his pace, the action leaving his hips stuttering. he was so close, and y/n was too. she couldn’t control the volume of her moans, gripping her breast like her life depended on it. “i’m gonna cum, oh my god, oh my god,” the desperation in her voice made him come undone as he bit back a loud, throaty moan. but she kept going, still chasing her climax as her moans got choked out the harder she went on herself.

just as she was about to cum, when she was almost there, her computer suddenly shut down. the screen went black without warning, leaving only an empty, lifeless void. heeseung watched as her screen flickered and then turned dark, his heart sinking in frustration. “fuck!” he swore, shooting forward in his chair, eyes fixed on the blank screen. he slammed a fist on the desk in irritation before quickly ending the recording. his hands moved frantically over the keyboard, reopening his hacking program, desperately trying to figure out what went wrong.

y/n didn’t even notice, her orgasm crashed over her as she felt like every nerve, and cell in her body had come undone. she kept her eyes closed as she let out a breathless sigh, regaining her composure. after a few seconds, y/n opened her eyes to see that her laptop was blank. she frantically clicked on buttons trying to turn it on, clicking the power button which only displayed a red drained battery as if to mock her further. of all times it could have decided to die, why now? the frustration and panic settled in as she realized she may never get to see him again. she didn’t have any ways to contact him, but would he even want to hear from her again? doubt clouded her mind. now there was no way of knowing. she wanted to keep talking to him, but the odds seemed slim. with a heavy sigh, she jumped up, scrambling to plug her laptop into the charger.

meanwhile, heeseung was still navigating through her information. he had closed out of omegle and now his focus was entirely on troubleshooting. he noticed her computer no longer showed up on the network, the last activity was two minutes ago. “that piece of shit must’ve died,” he grumbled under his breath. he figured now would be the time to access her phone’s camera as it would be useless trying to find her again on the website. switching servers on the program, he downloaded the data to his phone and went to lay down. he watched through the front camera on her phone, but it remained in the same spot unmoving. he was getting frustrated.

y/n had wasted almost 45 minutes skipping through hundreds of people in search of his face on omegle. but to no avail, his face never came up again. it was 6am, and she had plans with natty to go through with in the evening. as much as she didn’t want to right now, she had to sleep. oth of them, in their own way, ended up resigned to their separate fates. y/n reluctantly accepted her defeat, bitterly acknowledging that the night had slipped away. but at least for heeseung, there was a sense of satisfaction in knowing he would have another chance to see her again. this wouldn’t be the last time they crossed paths. he’d make sure of that.

[luigilore]

[1:17 AM]

luigi's limbs and your own are entangled together, one of his arms thrown over your waist, pulling your back close against his chest. you haven't felt any movement from him except his rhythmic breathing and start to wonder if he's actually asleep until you feel his touch gently move across your bare shoulder.

his palm warmly slides across your spine and the direct contact makes you shiver a little- in a really good way. one of his fingertips moves across your back, almost like he's tracing something, but you can't quite discern what it is. still, the gesture itself makes you feel so incredibly endeared that something blooms inside of you that you can't entirely understand in the moment, something like overwhelming love. 

“what're you doing?” you mumble, voice hoarse from not speaking for a while. you stay with your back to luigi, not having the energy to turn around and face your boyfriend, and not wanting to mess up your current comfortable and cozy position.

he responds easily, his low voice makes your heart beat a little faster. “just tracing the constellations.” luigi continues softly, “this is orion.” you feel him gently trace a pattern along your skin. “and this is cygnus,” he says as his fingers continue to graze across your skin.

"i didn't know you knew the constellations," you smile, although not that surprised. you've known luigi long enough to not be shocked at all the things he somehow manages to know, the bits of knowledge he seeks out and retains.

you can hear the grin in his voice when he repsonds, "yeah, i had this big book of constellations when i was a kid. i read it all the time."

"it's all muscle memory now," he mutters, as tracing the same patterns he used to spot in the sky, his own little constellations, fingertips warm against your skin.

“feels nice," you sigh simply, enjoying his soft, warm touch. "show me another," you murmur, now turning your body to face him as he smiles widely at your request.

“this is cassiopeia.” luigi thumbs a small pattern on your skin that resembles a simple zig zag. “it’s supposed to be a seated queen.”

“let me try,” you find yourself surrounded by luigi's as your arms find their way around his neck. you trace a similar pattern to the one he showed you on his own bare shoulder blade. his eyes flutter shut as he shudders, “that was good, really good.” he says softly, eyes remaining closed but he's still smiling back at you, totally relaxed.

“good,” you whisper back, continuing to trace the zig zag pattern up and down his back, slowly lulling him into a content sleep. there's something satisfying watching luigi fall asleep. it's something he deserves but is not so often granted to him and you love that he feels safe and comfortable with you. you shift to return back to your original spooning position- but not before pressing a sweet kiss to his forehead.

[profoundbondfanfic]

Just Say Yes

Just Say Yes by zaffre Rating: Teen and Up Word Count: 12k

Over the years, Dean has kept a running list of pranks and favors he wishes he could ask Cas to do for him with his angel powers. When the opportunity finally presents itself to Dean to start checking off that list, Dean thinks he’s got this thing completely under control and will be spending the whole night getting his way. He should have known that Cas would have some requests of his own, though.

Sometime during Season 8, Dean and Cas are stuck in a hotel room while they wait for development on their current case. Dean’s bored, so he suggests they play a game: if one person asks the other person to do something, they must say yes. 

What follows is a cute story where Dean takes advantage of the situation to make Cas use his angel abilities and share his angelic knowledge with him. At first, Cas doesn’t quite get the nature of the game, but he’s a quick learner. Soon, Dean and Cas are going out to the bar, with Dean wearing Cas’s trench coat and Cas with a pretty pink bow in his hair. Of course, Dean and Cas being Dean and Cas, there has to be a little angst to pull the story all together. 

This fic is fun. It’s nice to see Dean and Cas let loose and enjoy each other’s company. I always love it when an author leans into the fact Cas is an angel and this story does it in spades. I like that the author recognizes that there has to be boring parts to monster hunting and decided to show how the boys would fill the time. This story isn’t about the case. It’s all about the characters of Dean and Cas and their relationship with each other. The readers will be happy to be along for the ride. 

[unpretty]

i said it in my original tags but i want to talk out of my ass and say that one place that a lot of current romantasy falls short for me is that it ends up being written by people who mostly read other romantasy without going back to the original genres of romance and fantasy. it's like a 'learn the rules before you can break them' kind of thing. you have all these magical macguffins to hit the tropes but can you make me believe that these characters have chemistry without that? is there chemistry, or did you tell me they're fated mates and now i'm supposed to assume this fight is sexy? does the fantasy aspect exist for anything aside from the magical macguffins? i'm not going to throw stones from inside my house made of worldbuilding designed to make all my fetishes happen, but the really fun part is when the lore spins out of control and you end up really going in depth on linguistic anthropology things that aren't relevant to the makeouts.

and the other thing is that you can't really sub in fanfic for this. plenty of fanfic takes characters from other genres and plops them into romance, but it's not the same. a good romance novel says, "here are two characters. you may know their archetypes, but you don't know them. you are going to get to know them, and you are going to love them, and you are going to want them to love each other, and when they love each other you are going to be happy for them". i love a rakish duke. when a man who's never had to do his own laundry is slutty as fuck that's my shit. but you still have to make me like him. you can take that archetype and make a guy who fucking sucks. most fanfic will not impart to you any knowledge about how to make a reader like a guy from scratch. you already know that guy. that's the whole point. fanfic with as much character building as an original work is the exception, not the rule.

the whole reason i get catty about fics that just make a different guy is that... you've made a different guy. i don't know who this guy is and i don't like him, and you haven't bothered trying to make me like him, because you slapped another guy's nametag on him like a cheat code. it's cool if you did make me like this new guy, but why is he wearing that other guy's nametag if no other aspect of him is present?

read the genres you want to write, obviously, but there's a reason the shitty comphet romantic subplot is a cliche. it's because romance is its own skillset, and if you try to fit romance in your thriller when you only read thrillers it's probably going to be the weakest part. if you want an ensemble cast then chemistry between characters is important regardless of whether they're going to fuck about it.

How did you get so good at writing??? Did you take classes? I feel like you should get paid all the money for this! (I subscribe to your website!)

after i dropped out of high school i found a torrent of like 5GB of OCRd romance novels and i read like 3 romance novels a day for a while

read enough romance novels and you will realize that they live or die entirely on technical skill. if you are new to romance novels then even bad ones can dazzle you with novelty but by the time you are on your 30th historical fake engagement between a bluestocking and a rakish duke you can grade them and you know when they've failed. when two books have what should be the same main characters hitting the same plot beats, but one of those books is delightful and the other fucking sucks, you learn some things. some books are bad and still delightful. other books are good but they just don't hit. you start to see the seams in the bad ones. 'oh, this is a weird out of character moment because she wanted to have the kabedon moment and didn't know how to get there'. 'she didn't want the ust to end but couldn't think of a better reason than this deus ex cockblock.' that kind of thing.

you could probably do this with other genres but i like romance because the plot is two people fall in love. that's it. everything else is set dressing. if you can figure out how to make that work you can carry it over into whatever other genre you feel like. mysteries would give you a different skillset around plotting that i don't have.

anyway after that i wrote a lot.

[ladypiscesmoon]

year ahead Armie Hammer (personal year card: The Hermit

Ask me anything that needs to be clarified)

What has Armie to release from 2024:

Bluebell fairy: (mistakes happen when you're not clear-minded. Forgive. Step forward in a lesson learned and know that you can achieve more wisdom as a result. Forgive yourself and move on with the lessons learned.) Doorway to fairyland (lift your spirits after you were held back in life. dream and view the world from a different perspective. That way you expand your mind and develop your imagination) Armie's is aware of the need to move on, but he cannot always see the way to go. It's time to release the past.

Overall 2025 (Feeling)

Camel (trust that you have the resources to get through the challenges before you) Sometimes it looks like the journey he's on is like crossing a desert with no end in sight. But he has to think about how far he's come already. He has to identify where he wants to go and proceed slowly but steadily, toward his goal. He's got to cast away his fears, doubts and hesitations. Ease his mind and heart. He will get through this, like he got through other challenges.

Walrus (remain vigilant about the current situation; pay attention to signs and omens and let them dictate your choices)

He's got to ask for specific signs to show him the way in life purpose, relationships and career, or even everyday concerns. He's got to allow his thoughts to flow (like meditation) and he'll pick up the signs and clues, maybe in lucid dreams. Trust these signs.

222 Alignment (how do you move forward toward your life's true calling? Do what makes you happy. Your enthusiasm is what's keep you going. Follow your interest if it's piqued by something. Following these routes will help you discover your life's purpose)

222 means good fortune in finances, relationships and career as well as a reminder to work towards your soul's purpose. For singles it's considered as a sign a true love is coming or that your soulmate is near

0606 Commitment (applying honesty and light daily is a fast track to creating a peaceful and meaningful life. It's how you find solutions and comfort. Release worries by speaking your truth and expressing emotions regularly. Open up for the best is yet to come)

The double zero's in 0606 emphasize a sense of commitment. For twin flames there's an underlying equilibrium and cosmic plan. The combination f the 0 and 6 suggests a focus on spiritual awakening and enlightenment. Twin flames encountering 0606 may interpret it as an invitation to delve deeper into their spiritual journey during the time of separation. Despite physical or/and emotional distance there's a stable equilibrium in the cosmic orchestration. The twin flames have to channel unconditional love. They have to express love that transcends physical boundaries understanding that their connection is timeless and eternal. With everything Armie has gone through in the last years, he's a lot further on his spiritual journey than his twin flame. The twin now has to catch up and they can reunite. I think Armie could be teaching his twin flame a lot.

Overall 2025 (Lenormand)

The heart( love, romance, infatuation, art, beauty, joy of life), the man(the significant card for a man, the partner for a woman), the coffin(death, endings, mourning, transformation, manipulation) The book(secrets, hidden knowledge, keeping a secret), the snake (lies, deceit, misguidance, illusions, chaos, temptation, seduction, cunning), the ring(relationship, marriage, cooperation, togetherness, cycles) The stork (change, movement, beginnings, flexibility, changeability, moving house), the whip (strife, fighting, argumenfsdebate, perseverance, competition, energy), the ship (travel, a journey, finances, navigation)

Combinations and thoughts: (they read like a sentence) -A loving man, a desirable man, a flirty man, transformation (new beginning) in a relationship -Backstabber is discovered (people not liking this relationship) -Secret commitments (trying to have a private relationship) -Hiding a ring (maybe having a symbol of this love, but hiding it) -Repeated change -Thinking about moving (could be overseas or out of country)

Overall 2025 (LOVE)

Abundance (keep a positive mindset, manifest exactly what you want, gratitude, bliss) The snake (competition, energy, clever, malicious, look over your shoulder, the other woman) Boat (receiving what you need, closure, progression, arriving, moving on from issues)

This seems to be a better year for Armie in love. Some people will not like him having found love though. But as long as he doesn't let him influence him, he will be fine. There's always someone jealous, or hateful or disappointed. As long as he's happy he should go after what he wants

Overall (CAREER/MONEY)

2 of swords (at a crossroad, avoiding the truth, tough choices) The star reversed (hopelessness, boredom, uninspired)

Career: stalemate, conflict at workplace, lack of motivation, pessimism about work Money: difficult or unpleasant decisions as well as an inability or refusal to face reality. Not quite what he hoped for his financial situation. Trying to save up money. He has fought a lot to get back a resemblance of his earlier career. He would very much like to provide for his children. Some of his thoughts are very traditional, but he should know that he's come a long way. Even if this year may have a bit more of a stagnation in his career, its doesn't mean it will always be like that. It may also be that he's feeling inspired in the roles he gets, or filming is not as satisfactory as it was for him. He might still think about another direction, or a combination of things. I still see him writing or producing

Overall( HEALTH)

8 of cups: (abandonment, walking away, disappointment) 4 of cups reversed (gratitude, focus, seeing opportunity) overload/excessment/obligation/overwhelm

Your environment and your way of thinking has negative effects on your health. Don't worry about things that are out of your hand. You will re-energize and upbeat in a healthy context if you go with the flow

Month for Month

January

The tower reversed (fear of change, avoiding the inevitable, liberation) Death reversed (resisting change, inevitable endings, stagnation) Citrine: abundance in creativity and healing as well. Armie has to let go of his fears. They bring him stagnation and delay in being truly happy.

February

Queen of coins (mature, successful, practical) 3 of wands reversed (returning home, holding on to the past, unhappy with choices) Snowflake obsidian: inspiration, ideas and talents In the last years Armie has kept hidden, nurturing and protecting his own creative ideas and projects. He feared change and was avoiding it. It stagnated his own process. He is going to change that. He already started it with his podcast, but we will see more examples of his brilliant mind (and he's funny too. Love that man)

March

4 of swords (mental overload, sanctuary, solitude) 10 of coins (inheritance, financial security, family) Calcite: more vitality and enthusiasm for life This month there will be an increase in finances, but also he will find someone to express more of his ideas and feelings. He will need a bit of solitude, to think some things over.

April

9 of swords (depression, intense anxiety, feeling hopeless) Strength (courage, overcoming, control) Kyanite: Pay attention to your intuition, rather ingenious idea will surface that will radically change your views on life, especially your career. Strangely enough it feels like Armie will be helping someone to make some decisions, especially on the subject of career. This will drastically change this persons life. So it doesn't have to do directly with Armie's career in this month, at least it feels like it to me.

May

The chariot reversed (lack of direction, aggression, powerlessness) Knight of cups (Chivalry, hopeless romantic, idealistic) Petrified wood: a magical transformation is about to occur through an unexpected turn of events. It's the result of the strength and commitment you have long shown to something. Many who have, until now either ridiculed or attempted to discredit you, will all of a sudden want to jump to your side. Long time there was stagnation and hopelessness in Armie's life, but the times are changing. Also, a very romantic month for him.

June

King of swords (intelligent, head over heart, logical) 3 of cups (Parties, indulgence, happiness) Rhodochrosite: We all have negative and positive aspects in our characters either currently or in the past. Taking the person he loves as they are, loving them with their vices and their virtues, seeing them for the human that they are. Forgiveness.

July

6 of cups reversed (growing up, childhood issues, letting go of the past) The devil (vices, temptation, manipulation) Molybdenite: There is nothing you have to fix or change in your life. Start to accept all of who you are. All is in perfect divine order. Accepting who he is, will all his vices and virtues. Letting go of the past.

August

9 of cups (dreams come true, satisfaction, abundance) The emperor (dependability, authority, structure) Gold with Quartz: a newfound sense of joy Feeling on top of the world, basically

September

4 of wands reversed (feeling unwelcome, family issues, animosity) 8 of sword reversed (self-acceptance, seeing Cleary, release) Pyrite: feeling emotionally imbalanced, because you have yourself allowed to believe another's critical judgements of you Feeling insecure, but someone having your back means you remind your strength. Let people judge, they will always do it, no matter what you do.

October

knight of wands (fearless, risk-taker, free spirit) 2 of cups (mutual respect, love, equality) Aquamarine: in this period greater empathy and insight is necessary. Someone loving him and having his back. It gives him strength and makes him feel free

November

Ace of coins (financial opportunity, prosperity, manifesting money) Page of coins (young but grounded, solid beginning, strong foundation) Amber: something that's causing friction and tension comes to a head I feel like there will be a financial setback or something, but the person in his life that loves him is helping him through it

December

2 of wands reversed (doubt, fearing the unknown, being restless) The high Priestess (sacred knowledge, divine feminine, unconscious mind) Sodalite: keep your calm. Meditate, keep the dream alive. positive confirmation If he wavers and feels restless, he has to find ways to unwind, and nurture himself. He has come a very long way.

*This reading is alleged and for entertainment purposes only*

[florencechase]

So I came across the Mayfair Witches thing with Lestat and Felix, and like pretty much everyone on here I was bummed but then I though about it for a very long time, went through the books again and… here’s how I think they can still make it work. Just as a disclaimer though, I’ve only fully read IWTV and TVL, and am currently like 1/3 through QOTD, so if there’s anything in the books after that that disproves my theory I’m sorry! But since the Lestat/Felix arc takes place towards the end of IWTV, I thought I’d still give it a go.

So the main issue here that people bring up is that if Lestat taught Felix to “cull the herd”, he can’t be book Lestat because book Lestat admits to only killing the “evildoers”, so why would he tell Felix to be so merciless? The answer: it’s complicated.

Lestat, the book and the show version, is unfortunately (or fortunately because that’s part of what makes him so interesting) a man who often does the opposite of what he says. I took a closer look at his first moments with Gabrielle after he turns her, and we have a similar situation in which he’s teaching her how to kill. Here’s an excerpt from it:

“I found a victim as soon as we had crossed the river […] [a]nd as I lured the victim out of the tavern, as I teased him, maddened him, and then took him, I knew I was showing off for her, making it a little crueler, more playful. And when the kill came, it had an intensity to it that left me spent afterwards.” (TVL, p. 147)

When he’s teaching others how to kill, he likes to show off. Simple as that. I’m sure the victim he chose was a criminal, like most his victims, but the point is he never told Gabrielle that. To her knowledge what Lestat just did was brutally murder some random man. Two pages later we have the following passage when Gabrielle makes her first kill and it’s the guy on the horse she ends up stealing the clothes from:

“I was shaken. The innocence of her victims didn’t trouble her. She didn’t fight my moral battles. But then I didn’t fight them anymore either, so why should I judge her? Yet the ease witch which she slew the young man – gracefully breaking his neck when the little drink she took was not enough to kill him – angered me tough it had been extremely exciting to watch. She was colder than I. She was better at all of it, I thought. Magnus had said, “Show no mercy.” But had he meant us to kill when we did not have to kill?” (TVL, pp. 149-150)

Lestat obviously doesn’t feel comfortable killing innocent people, but there’s not one scene in which he either tells someone he’s having moral dilemmas with it, or tells others they shouldn’t kill innocent people. It’s his thing, and it’s his struggle, but he never shares it until he writes about it in TVL. Here’s another excerpt that highlights this:

“When [Louis] says I played with innocent strangers, befriending them and then killing them, how was he to know that I hunted almost exclusively among the gamblers, the thieves, and the killers, being more faithful to my unspoken vow to kill the evildoer than even I had hoped I would be?” (TVL, pp. 434-435)

The key phrase here is “how was he to know”, so Louis had no idea! All this time he spent with Louis, and he never told him that’s what he was doing! Which brings me back to the show, to the reunion moment where Lestat tells Louis “I don’t like to point out my virtues.”

Of course, in the context he’s talking about not telling him he saved him at the trial, but it’s a pretty general statement about himself and it’s true, so far, in the book. He only kills innocent people, never tells anyone about it. He saves Louis at the trial, never tells anyone about it. And while I’ve seen some theories about how him not telling Louis he saved him was part of some pact he made with Armand, I’m just going to take things at face value here until the show proves otherwise.

Lestat always claims he’s “evil” in the books, but he does a whole bunch of stuff to disprove that. I think part of why he doesn’t let people know his good deeds is because there’s a part of him that wants to be perceived as the “evil monster” that he sees himself as. It’s the biggest irony ever for Lestat out of all vampires to claim he’s evil when he’s never acted with malicious intent (in the books, but I would even say in the show as well but the show is more complex in that regard).

The big thing about Lestat, which would also set him apart from show!Louis is that he does his thing and lets others do their thing. He doesn’t interfere with others, doesn’t tell them how to live their lives “the correct way”. Sure, he has many heated discussions about it with Nicki, but those are not him telling Nicki he should live according to his philosophy just because he thinks it’s the correct way to view life. Nicki hates himself at that point, which just gets worse with his way of thinking, and Lestat’s trying to pull him out of that. Nicki’s worldview is actively harmful to him and at least part of the reason for his eventual demise. But that’s not really relevant here, so I’m just going to leave it at that.

Which brings me back to Felix and Lestat. Did he, at some point, go out of his shack to kill people to show Felix how to do it? Not necessarily. The show doesn’t say he did, he could’ve simply just told him how to do it, he did after all figure it out himself too. It’s pretty intuitive I suppose for a vampire, and even when Claudia does her first kill Lestat isn’t shown killing first. He waits in the car with Louis and Claudia manages just fine.

Lestat knows what’s in their nature as vampires, but he himself doesn’t follow it at all times. It’s implied in one of the excerpts above, when he says he’s “being more faithful to [his]unspoken vow to kill the evildoer than even [he] had hoped [he] would be.” He’s not holding himself to any strict rules or high standards here. He’s trying his best, and if he takes an innocent life, he probably feels uncomfortable about it (while he secretly enjoys the feeling) but he’s probably just like “oh well.”

And with Felix, it could absolutely be a situation of do as I say, not as I do. He teaches him what’s in their nature, but he himself chooses to do differently. That, to me, sounds quite a lot like book!Lestat.

Besides, another aspect I’d like to point out is the definition of the word “cull”. Since English isn’t my native language, I had to look it up to really get all the nuances it implies. Here’s what google says:

“Selective slaughter”. Now here’s where I might be wrong and please correct me if I am, but since there are parallels to Darwin in MW, couldn’t that also imply selectively killing a particular group of people? As in, weed out the evildoers, or the weakest who don’t have a chance of survival anyways (as Lestat does after Louis tries to kill him)? The latter would make sense with the Darwin parallel. What we see in MW may be skewed through Felix’ perspective. I haven’t watched MW, but these things happen all the time in IWTV. Killing mercilessly may be only his interpretation of what Lestat said.

TL;DR: Lestat understands vampiric nature well enough to teach others how to kill “like a vampire” when he himself still chooses to do differently. He also doesn’t “like to point out [his] virtues” which is why he never actually told anyone he only kills criminals.

[candyswirls]

Garm Pt 4

Previous - Next - Master Post

Summary: Rogue traders visit. Garm is baby and doesn’t like frilly clothes but they do like playing.

Had to go through and make sure I only used they/then pronouns for Garm. Their gender reveal party isn’t until next chapter! Jk

Leman rubbed his temples.

Several times now, Garm had come in, having climbed out of their bed and refusing to sleep. Insisting that they stayed up.

The Primarch was getting irritated.

The door slid open and Leman was about to snap for Garm to go to bed. Then he softened.

Garm was teary eyed and sniffed in the doorway.

“Krůtt,” he said gently as he opened his arms and knelt.

Garm went running to his embrace and let out a sob as he picked them up.

They wrapped their arms around his neck and buried their head into his shoulder. He patted their back, soothing them.

“There, there sweet puppy,” he whispered. “I’ve got you. No need to shed tears.”

Garm nestled against his neck and under his beard. Sniffling and whimpering. Sometimes he needed a reminder that Garm was just little.

“Do you want to come meet the Rogue Traders with me?” He asked.

Garm let out a squeak and nodded.

He set them down and offered his hand. They took it and rubbed their eyes with their other hand.

Garm was surprisingly calm when they arrived for the meeting. They sat patiently on Leman’s lap. The two rogue traders they made contact with had brought gifts back with them. Those they deemed worthy of a Primarch and now the child of one.

The first presented their gift.

“Made from the finest materials from various luxury worlds and crafted upon Terra itself,” he announced. “This has been modeled after current imperium high fashion and real diamonds used as beading. Something eye catching and beautiful for your daughter.”

Leman raised a brow, “Who said Garm was a daughter?”

The rogue trader stammered, “Forgive me my lord, I shouldn’t have assumed. I can have it tailored in male fashion for your son.”

“They’re not a son either.”

He hid his smirk as the rogue trader grew confused.

“Not even I know the gender of my child,” Leman said. “For now they are gender neutral.”

“Pardon my bluntness,” the other trader piped up. “A good tale piques my interest. Might I know how you do not have this knowledge?”

“They’re covered in fluffy fur, never stop moving, and do not like being manhandled,” Leman explained. “I have been unable to check.”

The first jumped back in, “Nevertheless I believe they will find this most valuable garment to their liking.”

The sheet over the box was removed to reveal a soft orange dress. Diamond beads created patterns on the skirt and brightly colored lace puffed it out. To a trained eye or one who dabbled in fashion it could be seen that the most delicate and upmost precision was used to hand stitch the one of a kind garment. The ruffles shimmered in the slightest breeze and multiple tiers of fine tailoring had been done. It was a dress worthy of a princess.

Garm wasn’t paying attention to it, gnawing on a strip of leather from their father’s armor.

“My Noble Garm,” the trader insisted. “Won’t you come take a look at it? I’ve been assured it’s quite comfortable.”

Garm glanced at him then looked back at Leman. He motioned they could investigate.

The toddler climbed down and walked up to the dress.

The trader nearly stepped back, not realizing that while a toddler, the child of a Primarch would be big. They stood as high as a very short baseline.

Garm ran forward and pushed the box over.

The trader and his entourage gaped at the rejection. The other trader burst out laughing at the display.

Leman grinned as Garm ran back to him.

“I’m afraid Garm is not fond of… fashion,” he said. “With their day to day life and dislike of even wearing clothes we tend to choose a breathable cut, sturdy but soft fabric, and one that can either take rough scrubbing or stains and dirt blend into.”

He ruffled Garm’s head.

“They are also a toddler and most toddlers care not for clothes.”

“R-right,” the Rogue trader stammered.

The other rogue trader managed to catch her breath.

“My apologies, my Lord,” she chuckled. “I appreciate their honesty. Hopefully my gift is well received. This is a common toy upon my father’s home world and comes from an ancient Terran culture. I ensured the strongest materials had been used. It is embroidered with bright colors and has a bell within it. It should hold up for many years of rough play. I even brought two for good measure.”

A serf presented a box covered with a cloth.

The rogue trader removed said cloth to reveal two patterned balls. They removed them and bounced them on the floor, each producing a jingle from their bells.

Garm perked up, staring at the bouncing toys. Bright colors flashing.

“They’re called Temari,” The Trader announced. “The same name they had on Terra. I hope they provide ample play.”

The rogue trader smiled at Garm then threw one of the Temari across the room. Each bounce jingling.

Garm went chasing after it, trying to leap and catch it. It bounced off a wall and Garm slid to a stop, trying to correct themselves. A standing Astartes caught it and bounced it again. The Rogue Trader offered her fellow trader to the throw the other. He nodded gratefully and threw the other Temari.

Garm’s excitement grew at the prospect of two flying around them. Wispy giggles game from Garm as they chased the two toys. Catching one and bouncing it again.

Leman beamed, “They will be well loved. Thank you for your kindness. Well thought out gifts. Maybe one day Garm will try in the dress. They do like comfort.”

Both traders nodded, the first trying to swallow his pride and hide his embarrassment.

Garm squealed with laughter as they chased both Temari at the same time.

“Let us head to my council room to further discuss safe trade routes for you,” Leman said.

As they discussed, Garm ran around the room, having any nearby Astartes throw the Temari for them to chase.

“Hopefully this will tire them out,” the lady trader said.

Leman chuckled, “I’m afraid they’re like a power pack. Never ending energy. I’ve never seen them tired out before. But I am hopeful.”

They bid him goodbye.

Leman watched a while as Garm played. Catching and throwing the Temari when it came near him.

“Alright,” he said while standing. “Time for bed.”

Garm stopped and pouted.

“I’ll go to bed with you,” he assured.

They softened at that and grabbed both Temari.

“Do you want to try on the dress?” He offered, seeing if they’d do it at the chance of staying up later.

Garm furrowed their brow and dropped the Temari to sign.

No. Ugly. Stupid.

Leman laughed, “That’s my pup. Never liked those frilly outfits. Come on.”

Garm grabbed the temari again and walked next to Leman.

“You like your new toys?”

Garm nodded, smiling up at the Wolf King. He reached down and caressed their cheek. They leaned into the touch.

He never knew how great of a feeling it was to have one who did not fear or disdain you, was not intimidated by your presence, or looked upon you as a divine being.

Garm only saw their father and loved him for that.

Back in his room they climbed onto the bed. He pulled back layers of pelts and blankets, allowing them to dive in.

He removed his cloak and laid his mother wolf pet atop of Garm. He climbed in and stroked their head. He whispered in Fenrisian the tale of him defeating the Kraken. Garm nestled close, arms around both temari.

As he spoke, he began undoing to simple braid of their hair and running his fingers through peachy blond locks.

“Good night, my puppy,” he whispered as he pressed a kiss to their forehead.

He went silent, knowing that all sound must be gone before his child would fall asleep.

Often times he wondered during moments like this what it would be like to introduce Garm to one of his brothers. Have them meet his Father.

How he’d gloat. That he’d made a child while they had not. He just wasn’t sure how to explain how he did it or got them. But they were definitely his.

[demidevil-dog]

Yeah, no. That does absolutely contextualize Acheran's whole deal in one clean sweep.

I guess the extenuating circumstances of the grim darkness of the far future would make it so everyone -even people on the same side- would be so ground and ran down that no one is in the mood to be nice least of all courteous when it comes to dealing with interpersonal relationships.

I dunno. The main gripe I think many have with Acheran (myself previously? included) was that he seemed to apply his men almost too thinly. Understaffing, as I'd put it. And to me, that certainly seemed to be the case because- out of lore? There aren't ever enough Ultramarines. I mean, my knowledge of other legions and chapters is limited, but it was made clear to me very early on that the sons of Ultramar are, if not at least doing fine, numbers wise, they can defend themselves. Which can't be said of Lamenters or Dark Hunters for example

And to be clear! I knew the current state of things on the 40k world was bad. I just had absolutely no idea it was this level of monumentally, absolutely, the-galaxy-is-literally-falling-apart-at-the-seams bad. Which, yeah, that does put Acheran's whole demeanor and course of action into perspective. I, too, would be terse and uncompromising if I were at the helm of the world's slowest, most complex sinking ship.

But even aside from all of those extenuating circumstances, Acheran being a Captain does make some sense when taking into consideration his predecessors. Cato Sicarius, much as I like the bastard, is so brash and hot-headed and easily taunted his storyline has to beat him down multiple times just so he can approach normal levels of bravura. Titus, while he did the objectively heroic thing of taking the fall instead of dragging the company down with him, was nonetheless accused of corruption, and he did not fight those charges. Trajan, (no relation with the Chaplain) apparently jumped on the Biel-Tan ship to fight Eldar head on because why the warp not. So, yeah, after having that storied bunch in command, it makes sense Calgar or Guilliman would want an incontroversial, cautious, down-right inoffensive guy for the Second Company Capitancy.

(Captian Acheran after taking stock of his new command position, and me, after trying to wrap my head around however the fuck the warp functions in this silly baka universe)

You know what character in Space Marine 2 I genuinely don't like? Acheran. Cannot for the life of me get a solid read on that guy, and it does sort of drive me up a wall.

To me, he has like, passive-aggressive middle manager energy? He just spends so much of the game just vaguely making threats and second-guessing Damocles Squad it's almost ridiculous. And I do understand where he's coming from: having a guy who used to have your job reinstated under you could lead to internal strife in the company but it always seems like he's on the fence up to the moment Damocles Squad actually gets shit done and then he's all for whatever they're doing.

Am not too fond of him, is what I'm trying to say.

[isekyaaa]

Ngl, the reason why I post my analyses and headcanons so often is primarily for the reason that if I don't, I most definitely will forget and then will regret it heavily later when I'm trying to remember.

[gildui]

JONATHAN PRICE » BRAVO SIX cr: John Price

GAZ ✖︎ GHOST ✖︎ SOAP ✖︎ BRAVO SIX

[bumblingbabooshka]

B'Elanna, Neelix, Tuvok and Chakotay needed to star in an episode where they just talked about their different beliefs and approaches to spirituality/religion. Paired off and all together. I need to gain more insight. I need characterization and I need it to be messy.

[pidgefudge]

i think my brother might be going to see sonic 3 in theaters and if he is im going to fucking throttle him

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Just want to say: a, I admire very much that you've figured out a healthy way to work on your fics that allows you to have fun with it. And also b, am very excited to hear that you are getting there with pez! It has fully given me brain rot ever since I read it last year, there is just such a lack of content for the highly specific trope of using time travel as a device to explore extremely unhealthy levels of self loathing.

I just adore everything you're doing in it. Neither midoriya is anywhere approaching okay for any portion of the fic and I love rereading and mining into all the subtle characterization pointing to that. It's a bit like nhtycth in that some really goofy funny stuff is often hiding some really fucking worrying things, but the fact that characters DO do that stuff—that todoroki uses his teaspoon's worth of extremely stunted social skills to bludgeon his friend's door open and help him, that a rpf shipping war is an actual source of drama despite how goofy the sentiment seems on the surface, that about half of what jon says is deeply worrying and the other half is extremely funny and there's a lot of overlap between the two—really lifts the tension and brightens the universe. It's sort of similar to what you did with gerry, in that endless misery isn't nearly as painful as the ups and downs of a life that, when you step back and zoom out, has something deeply and horribly wrong with it.

(jon sort of reminds me of spider-man in that he uses human to deal with trauma and stress, except I don't think he at any point realizes how fucking funny he is. He's just there, in a home depot, gnashing his teeth because he's got so many bodies to dispose of and this cashier sure is taking her time.)

I really, really, really have had trouble finding fics that take everything midoriya has dealt with to task. It's a hell of a thing to live 14 years as a disabled minority, have it heavily shape your existence, and then one day you wake up and you realize you're...not that, or at least, nobody will ever acknowledge you as that again. You've lost all claim to it. Those experiences that shaped who you are? Dust in the wind. 14 years of pain and life might as well be buried in the ground for all the good they do you. Nobody's going to cut you any slack or quarter, you've gotta simply work harder, be better. And now when you do that you get the results you wanted, so that's fine, then. That's good. There was something wrong with the you before, and there's something right with the you now, and if the transition is a little rough, well that doesn't matter, you're the same as everyone else now, so it's your own job to fill in whatever gaps you need to.

I really can't get over how mentally fucked it must be for midoriya to run into quirkless people, run across quirkless issues, and be silently caught between, incapable of speaking his mind and too scared to do so anyway around those he can trust.

Also I should mention, I'm just very excited for bakugou to get back from the gym. He's been there like a year I hope he's getting a good workout in.

Me realizing that it’s been a year since pez dispenser debris:

I feel like there’s just this very specific type of grief that Izuku has to grapple with in the span of pez dispenser debris that I’m just obsessed with. He’s sort of silently mourning who he could have been, when 1) he has to present like there’s nothing lost to maintain his secret and 2) the entire world is constantly inundating him with the message that there was nothing lost.

Like. I don’t want to get too deep into it because it risks spoiling things and I do have major plans to continue it (I’ve loved this story for so many years before I ever even hit publish), but the emotion that Izuku’s feeling right now is so much more complex than “I hate who I used to be and want him to stop existing” or “I just want to keep my secrets.” And I think the way he interacts with Mirio is the biggest evidence of that.

Izuku’s placed himself at the very center of the Quirklessness debate with his support of Mirio. He fights for Quirkless heroes, very publicly, to the point where he’s not even graduated yet but considered to be one of the most prominent voices on the matter. If you took a poll of Quirkless people as to which hero would be most supportive of them pursing their own career in heroics, Izuku would be right at the top of the list. When it comes to Quirklessness itself, he’s nothing but supportive.

But he didn’t tell Mirio the truth of his own Quirklessness.

Out of everyone, Mirio’s the one everyone expects to know, despite him being a relatively newer relationship compared to someone like Iida or Uraraka or Todoroki. And I tried to imply that he’s sort of the one who knows the most about Izuku out of everyone save All Might.

Like, we’ll get into how much exactly Mirio knows soon, so I won’t divulge what, if anything, Izuku has told him. But we know that Mirio knows, weirdly enough, that Izuku is deeply fucking haunted. He knows that boy has many violent ghosts in his bones. He finds it hilarious and will tell their realtor about it. Izuku told him about the discontent spirits who died in a violent passion and live on inside of him before he told him about his Quirklessness.

And I just feel like one of those things is a little bit easier to discuss than the other.

Izuku has decided to keep his own Quirklessness quiet in a way that surpasses secrecy about One for All. If it was just about OfA, he could tell people he didn’t get his quirk until the entrance exam, and it wouldn’t even be a lie. He’s purposefully obscuring his own past as Quirkless even as he takes a forefront of the Quirkless hero debate with his open support of Mirio.

And the fact that he’s at the forefront of this debate in and of itself requires a difficult dichotomy. He is the world’s most vocal proponent for the first Quirkless hero. He is a known figure in the Quirkless community now.

He isn’t considered one of them anymore. He’s an outsider coming in.

It must be such a strange, odd sort of grief to come to the people you were home amongst for most of your life and be greeted as a stranger. To return home, and to be welcomed in for the first time, and to not even be able to tell people that you’ve lived here all your life and don’t need a tour.

It’s a sort of death of self, I think. And I think Izuku never expected to have to grapple with his own ghost.

[thatdamhobbit]

I find it so funny that in the TV show Kipps tries to make a move on Lucy. Like, Kipps, honey, I’m sure you’re very lovely, but you’re competing with Anthony “she’s got everything to live for” Lockwood, so just… don’t get your hopes up, okay?

[ghoul--doodle]

When my interest shifts from one to another I don’t start disliking/hating the old one

It just slips into being dormant until something inevitably triggers monkey brain about it again