#thank goodness it posted this in the time i set lol

[hollaforlyla]

Could I request Boom Sonic x Fem Reader spending valentines day together? Thank you ♡

" SPEEDING INTO LOVE " ── boom!sonic x fem!reader

sonic may seem out of character, but i wanted to get this particular post up and out before valentine's day was over 🫶🏻💖LOL!! no warnings, just fluff & i hope you enjoy; thx for the reaquest!!

Valentine’s Day in Hedgehog Village was always a lively occasion—hearts strung up on lamp posts, villagers exchanging gifts, and a general atmosphere of love in the air. But for you, there was only one person you wanted to spend the day with: Sonic.

You weren’t sure if he was the "romantic type," but that didn’t matter. Just being with him was enough.

As the sun set, painting the sky in soft pinks and purples, you made your way toward the beach, where Sonic had told you to meet him. The cool breeze ruffled your fur, and the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore was oddly soothing.

Then, in a blur of blue, Sonic appeared right in front of you, hands on his hips and a cocky grin on his face. “Took you long enough! I was about to send out a search party.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Sonic, I’m literally on time.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. But time moves slower when I’m waiting for ya.”

Your cheeks warmed at that, but before you could respond, he gestured toward a small setup behind him—a blanket spread out on the sand, a couple of lanterns giving off a warm glow, and a little basket of food. It was simple, but it was perfect.

“Sonic…” You looked up at him, touched by the effort. “You did this for me?”

He rubbed the back of his head, looking a little sheepish. “Well, yeah. I mean, you deserve a special day, and I figured a big fancy thing wouldn’t really be our style.”

You smiled. “It’s perfect.”

The two of you sat down, sharing snacks and stories under the starry sky. Sonic, ever the goofball, tried to shape his chili dog into a heart “Look! It’s totally romantic!”, which made you laugh until your sides hurt.

As the night went on, he grew quieter, his usual bravado softening. He reached for your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. “Hey, I know I’m not the best at this whole romance thing, but… I really like you, (Y/N). More than just a best bud, you know?”

Your heart swelled. “I know, Sonic. And I feel the same way.”

His grin turned softer, more genuine. “Good. ‘Cause I was kinda worried I’d be embarrassing myself for nothing.”

You laughed, squeezing his hand. “Never.”

Under the stars, with the sound of the waves and the warmth of his hand in yours, you knew this was a Valentine’s Day you’d never forget!

[whitefoxfiction]

Okay! Headcanons (don't mind me being mildly tipsy lol)!

Who would build Lego with reader? Urahara? Kira? Hisagi?

Thanks for the request! This is my first time writing headcanons specifically in this format. This turned to be more like what would they do if they found you drinking and building with Legos. I included Ukitake and Grimmjow as a bonus. I hope you like it!

Reader has gotten their hands on both some quality booze and an interesting toy from the Wolrd of the Living. They have made the bold move to dump said Legos out, spread out the instructions, and attempt to build their new project while bordering on being drunk. How will their friend/ S.O. react??

SFW, Rated T for teen, allusions to smut, nothing actually explict, fluffy bits, drinking, swearing. gn!reader Kisuke Urahara, Shūhei HIsagi, Jūshirō Ukitake, Izuru Kira, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

Kisuke Urahara

When Kisuke sees you all hunched over with your tongue poking out of your mouth in concentration, his first thought will be to wonder what the hell sort of contraption you are building at 11 pm. That becomes apparent within a matter of seconds as he silently watches you drink your booze from the bottle while you play with a children’s toy as he lurks in the doorway. With no one else there to see, the corners of his mouth will turn up into a little smile of genuine affection. He does briefly wonder why you have chosen his dining table for your drunken Lego building, however. Then, he decides it doesn’t matter.

Why doesn’t it matter? Because he knows you are drunk, oblivious to his presence, and the look of concentration on your face is too cute to ignore. And, how can he possibly resist the urge to scare the crap out of you like the troll he is? If your ‘drunk concentration face’ looks cute, then he’s sure that your flustered, ‘post-jump scare face’ will look downright sexy.

As the former head of the Onmitsukidō Detention Unit, it’s absolute child’s play for him to sneak up right behind you with you none the wiser, at least until he makes his presence known by leaning over your shoulder.

“Good evening, ______-ちゃん~!” He’ll give you The Grin. You know the one. It’s the grin that manages to be a perfect mix of a shit-eating smirk and a little smile of complete innocence. Your less inhibited state means it’s guaranteed to ruffle your feathers just as much as being startled does.

If he’s feeling generous, he might not even dodge the sloppy, startled swing you take at him. It’s not like you’ll really hurt him anyway, but he’ll hold his nose and pout about how mean you are to him before happily sitting down next to you on the tatami.

Kisuke will watch you struggle with the tiny pieces while looking over the directions. If it’s a set with moving parts, he’s already figured out 5 ways to improve the design without requiring a single extra piece before you realize he’s stolen the instructions. Then, he will commence pouring you more drinks and teasing you with “helpful advice” (while never actually helping) until you’re an irritated, plastered mess.

He’ll somehow still manage to charm you into abandoning your Lego project in favor of letting him carry you off to bed. His bed since you are obviously too drunk to go anywhere else.

This outcome is inevitable. He already had 20 contingincy plans to get you right where he wanted you before he even walked into the room.

Shūhei Hisagi

Shūhei‘s interest in your Lego building project will vary depending on what you are putting together. Star War Legos? Probably not. A giant Lego guitar or a Lego motorbike? Now you’ve caught his interest.

His interest in the quality of your alcohol, however, will be immediate, and he will be more than happy to partake as long as he is off duty (and it isn’t a deadline week for the Seireitei Bulletin).

If you’re just friends with Shūhei, he will likely hang out and happily drink your booze with you. (Don’t worry, he’ll return the favor, even though he’ll have to go into more debt with Urahara to get the good stuff.) This may or may not involve you being serenaded in some fashion before you both pass out.

If Shūhei is your s/o, he will not only drink your booze with you—and you probably invited him to, lets be honest—but he will also offer to help in some way or other. Perhaps it’s by holding what you’ve built still so it doesn’t run away from you when you try to snap on the next damnably tiny piece or by trying to decipher the instructions. Or, maybe he’ll just pour your drinks and offer to rub your shoulders while he watches you work.

He will certainly get up and make you both snacks. Shūhei is handy enough in the kitchen that whipping up a little something is no sweat, even if he’s already hammered. In fact, he’ll probably insist, bless his poor little cinnamon roll heart. (Think what you want about Matsumoto, but you can’t deny that she has the boy well-trained.)

As Shūhei‘s s/o you will definitely be getting serenaded once he’s good and toasted. The upside to being his s/o in this situation is that it is very easy to get him to stop without hurting his feelings. You just have to kiss him senseless and give him something else to occupy his hands.

And that is where your Lego building comes to a halt. If you haven’t finished the set by this point, that will be waiting until morning.

Jūshirō Ukitake

Jūshirō is always interested in whatever it is that you are doing. If he’s feeling well enough and not pressed with important deadlines, he will sit down beside you, tea in hand.

Of course, he’ll scold you a little when he realizes you are drunk, but it’s a very half-hearted sort of scolding. “______-chan! How much have you had to drink? It’s not good for you to drink so much, and all alone!” … “Shunsui came by earlier? Ah, well… I suppose that explains some things.” Under his breath, he will mutter something about having to “have a talk with Shunsui later.”

It doesn’t take much to distract him from his gentle lecture. You just have to smile at him sweetly, lean your head against his shoulder, and thank him for looking after you so well. He’ll clear his throat and take a drink of his tea to hide the color in his cheeks.

If you talk him through what you are trying to accomplish, Jūshirō’s inner child will come to the surface in no time. He’ll look over your shoulder at the directions, and if you haven’t done so already, he will offer to sort all the pieces by color for you.

Jūshirō gets this adorable, boyish grin on his face any time he has the good fortune to indugle in childish things, a grin that is often present when you buy him his favorite sweets. He will certainly enjoy his time with you, but if you have the bonsai tree legos, you should probably just focus on drinking because...

Jūshirō is going to steal your toy from you. He may or may not follow the instructions. “I’m sure they’ve printed this incorrectly. This branch should surely go here.” or “This would look so much better if we just trimmed it down by a couple of bricks. There! That’s lovely!” His bonsai pruning skills (or lack thereof) will be put to use. You just don’t have the heart to tell him no.

But, that’s ok because the best part of the whole experince is watching Jūshirō when he goes into ‘second childhood’ mode. It’s the cutest thing ever, and never fails to make your heart do little flips in your chest. The pleasantly warm and fuzzy feeling from the alcohol only adds to the attraction, and Jūshirō might well find you drapped over his shoulders like his Captain’s haori long before that Lego set is completely constructed.

This leads to more adorable blushing on Jūshirō’s part, which eventually leads to playtime that has nothing to do with Legos.

Izuru Kira

The serious and often gloomy Izuru doesn’t have much use for children’s toys from the World of the Living, but like his friend Hisagi-san, the alcohol will probably catch his attention, especially given what he has been dealing with the last few months.

If he isn’t on duty early the next morning and he’s not too covered up with paperwork, you can probably convince him to have a few rounds with you. If you have managed to gain his trust enough to be his s/o, then he will look back and forth between you, the bottle, you, the door, you…

If he has obligations the next day, he will feel guilty, but he will also trust you to understand and will try to excuse himself, promising to spend time with you as soon as he off duty, for dinner perhaps. “Ah, I’m so sorry ______-さん. Requisition reports are— Ah! _____, wh-what are you—?! W-wait! The door is wide o— Mmphf!!”

Izuru works far too hard, and you have no trouble taking it upon yourself to be sure that he doesn’t work himself into a bed at the 4th Division’s Coordinated Relief Station. It is criminally easy to get Izuru flustered, even without the aid of alcohol, so your drunken affections will have him ushering you back to whatever spot you’ve chosen for your building project in short order. Anything to get the door shut and make you stop trying to kiss him in plain view of the street.

Getting Izuru truly interested in the Legos might take some effort, but wheedling him into staying with you will be a fairly easy task. Suggesting that you will just have to drink the entire bottle so it doesn’t go to waste (which you might really do) should be enough to bring out his protective side. After all, he can’t have his s/o getting hurt because they got completely wasted and he left them unattended.

Izuru will tell himself that he’s only staying to make sure you don’t get yourself into any trouble since you are already too far gone to talk sense into. He’ll tell himself that, but let’s face it, if the saké is sitting in plain view, he’s gonna cave and have just one cup. Okay. Maaaybe two.

After his third or fourth cup, Izuru is sitting shoulder to shoulder with you helping you put together that Lego set. Izuru is, unfortunately, a bit of a lightweight compared to you when it comes to his alcohol tolerance, so he is almost as uncoordinated as you are by this point. It’s the perfect time to turn your current activity into a drinking game! Put a piece on wrong? Take a drink. Fail to get a piece taken on or off in three tries? Take a drink!

It turns out that Izuru is woefully bad at this game. He also gets over heated quite easily when he drinks. Somewhere between cups six and eight, he will start stripping out of his shihakushō. By the eight to ten cup mark, he is laid out on your floor in nothing but his fundoshi, his face flushed from the alcohol (and from your merciless teasing.) The Legos have been completely forgotten by this point.

You have hidden what’s left of the alcohol since you don’t want to end up holding his bangs back while he pukes (again.) You aren’t enough of a jerk to totally take advantage of Izuru when he’s this drunk. You’re even nice enough to help him stumble off to bed (your bed) for some drunken snuggles, and when he wakes up in morning with a horrible hangover, you’ll know just how to help him get rid of that awful headache.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

As you squint at the instructions trying to make the words hold still, you’ll be rudely interrupted by a voice from behind. “Oi! The fuck is that?”

He’ll huff at you, arms crossed over his chest as you grin up at him and give a rambling explanation of what Legos are and why you wanted them and how fun it is even though you were just swearing because you can’t pry apart two tiny pieces you put together by mistake.

“Wait a damn… why’re you drunk? No, I’m not helping you, not until you tell me where you got the booze!” He’ll growl and grumble and threaten a few people—“Kurosaki get those for you? No? Ha! It musta been pervy hat! Yeah, well I’ll take care of that bastard as soon as I take care of you” He’ll leer at you in a totally lascivious way—then totally deny that he’s jealous after you manage to tell him it was Nel that brought things back for you.

He’ll scoff about ’stupid human toys’ to shift the focus away from being called out on his jealousy and adamantly refuse to help you. “Heh. No fuckin’ way. I don’t build shit, I break it!” Eventually he’ll give in to to your cleverly calculated pouting, carefully prying apart your misplaced Lego bricks. He will also confiscate your booze “for your own good dammit.”

Grimmjow may or may not drink said booze, depending on what it is and how much is left, but one thing is certain; you’re damn sure not getting any more.

If he’s particularly bored, he will be an absolute ass about making sure you can’t concentrate on those Legos for shit. If he didn’t drink your booze, he will probably taunt you with the bottle at some point, until you are in a hopeless game of keep-away-way where Grimmjow’s objective is getting you so riled up that you try to climb him like a tree to reach the bottle. (If he did drink the booze, he’ll steal the directions instead.)

This never ends with you getting back whatever he is holding hostage. It usually ends with you tossed over his shoulder and carried off to bed… if you make it that far.

He thinks he’s won, but this was actually your plan all along.

[lola-theshowgrl]

"Star-Crossed Blades" - Writing Update #3

Month: February Stage: First draft Word Count: 14,287 Currently Listening To: "Meet Me In The Woods" - Lord Huron Beverage: Spanish latte Mood: Sleepy

First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for the outpouring of support and excitement for "Star-Crossed Blades" and for taking the time to read my little updates each week! It's such a boost to know there's any interest at all, and I really appreciated all the feedback, advice, and suggestions after last week's post. I'm checking out some options to be able to post serialised chapters of the first draft for those who are interested, so watch this space!

I've finished chapter three now, and given that I'm in the very unusual position of having a fairly detailed outline for this book, I suspect it's going to be getting on for about 150k words by the time I'm finished. You know me, I live for a slow burn! I know this is technically "too long" a book for the genre I write, but I know from past experience that paying too much attention to these sort of things can cut the heart out of a story. In the end, I'm here for the love of writing, and I've taken the executive decision to do whatever I want. I'm not one for arbitrary rules at the best of times (it's the *autism* lol) particularly not when it comes to writing, but I feel like that's a whole other post all by itself.

Speaking of other posts, I've been thinking about other things I could write about here. I enjoy the updates, and I mean to do them fairly frequently, but at some point I suspect it's going to get boring. (I'm also in something of a reading slump just now, so no book reviews coming up for a bit, unfortunately!)

I was very inspired by my good friend, @rachelillustrates artist and author of the amazing webcomic "Tock The Gnome" which you should absolutely go check out if you enjoy unique fantasy settings and beautiful artwork. Anyway, she does a weekly series of posts that I enjoy called "World Building Wednesday" which is exactly what it sounds like, and is a lovely way to dive into the lore of her world! (Seriously, go read it! The art is stunning, the story is magic, and she's a lovely person!)

I don't have her dedication and skills, of course, but I did think that if there was interest, maybe every so often I could make a post about the worldbuilding in Vadramia - what do you think? Would anyone be interested in that?

To be honest, I really want you guys to be involved in what I'm up to, and I'm so excited for this project, so any excuse to talk about it with you will be fun. I'm open to suggestions on what you'd like to see, but equally if you're happy with me just coming here each week to update on progress, I can keep doing that. Honestly, I'm just glad you're here!

[tmos-time]

hi

so uhhh this line in your erisol understuck post "not getting into all the ELABORATE thoughts i have on how the geno route would go"

…………can we have some of it????I'm dying of curiousity ever since I read that post lol

also just to let you know that your aus are all very fabulous and they live in my brain rent free all the time. i was wondering do you mind fanart??

aww thank you, i don't mind at all! would love to be tagged if anyone makes any <3

as for the understuck geno route; here's a loose plot path for it!

basically, the plan would be to have a split in how the route could theoretically go; a normal version of the route following close enough to undertale's canon events with the characters given, and a secret route for speedrunners because sollux deserves to have a proper battle at the chagrin of people trying to speedrun LOL

[twilightarcade]

AND THEREFORE I NEVER LIE

[retros-artandstuff]

vriska + a transmasc dave doodle

[bmpmp3]

like 60% percent of the feedback i get from my professors on my art for critique is just like "keep doing what ur doing" WHAT does this mean

[sunbedo]

Hey guys. gay rights

[catboyolli]

⭐

[jongins-gf]

I fucking LOATHE the proliferation of pop psychology in our current zeitgeist that has watered down the understanding and meaning of these actual psychological terms, leading to their misuse and abuse. I hate how these concepts are reduced to simplistic and contextless definitions that can be applied to almost every NORMAL human interaction, in cutesy and digestible, short social media posts (Instagram, Tiktok, Twitter), in trendy sayings, etc. I especially fucking hate how this shallow understanding lets people weaponize "therapy speech" to use against others to label them as "abusers" and to armchair diagnose them, also as another weapon. Beyond people using pop psychology as an excuse/weapon to be shitty to each other, it also enables abusers by giving them another tool in their arsenal to use and help them gaslight their victims! (And SO much of this misunderstanding stems from huge accounts: not just unqualified normies but also psychologists/therapists who should know better, but I digress.)

For other people like me who have been (falsely) accused of being abusive/an abuser and were feeling bad about it, this post helped me see SO much in understanding actual abuse:

And a lot of these bastardized definitions are ableist and centered around neurotypical societal norms' definition of what is "acceptable"...which leads to even more shaming and ostracization of neurodivergent people and their behavior, like autists and ADHDers (e.x.: being direct and straightforward/blunt in your enthusiasm for someone in the beginning of a relationship is NOT LOVE BOMBING!). Check the replies of this post for the excellent discussion there.

Love bombing is not a euphemism for "too much affection too soon," or "high desire for contact."

"Love bombing" is a term originally used in the context of cults to describe a deliberate and coordinated recruitment method that involved feigning friendship and interest in a potential recruit, via flattery, flirtation, physical affection, and very directed positive attention to everything the recruit says in order to lure them into the cult.

Since cults and abusive relationships operate in similar ways and use similar tactics, love bombing in an interpersonal relationship looks like manufacturing closeness in order to trap someone into a relationship in which the abuser has all the control.

And I know these days there's a million bullshit junky articles out there that make you think this is a symptom of cluster b personality disorders, but there is no way for you to be love bombing somebody without realizing it.

If you are an affectionate person and the level of affection and attention you give makes someone uncomfortable, you are not "accidentally" abusing them.

If you are uncomfortable with the level of affection and attention someone is paying you, they are not de facto abusing you.

Love bombing is about using someone's desire for human connection to fast track them into a situation you control and will feel disinclined to leave.

[usarinnpa]

maki harukawa maks me so happy

[cosmicmunsonwrites]

MORE MEAN!RAFE PLEASE!!! Maybe leading from the last ask and it’s him being the desperate one and she’s just scared of him now but she still loves him or smth idk lols

even when you pushed me away

mean!rafe cameron x desperate!fem!reader

cw — stalking

summary — rafe somehow finds you after you frantically ran away from home.

authors note — this is a continuation of my mean!rafe series. it is in my rafe cameron masterlist under “au’s” if you’d like it read it as a series instead of a standalone. thank you guys for all the love with this au, it means the world to me. please request more!!

do not copy or post my work anywhere else.

“why are you here, rafe?” you asked, your voice firm and unwavering even though you were slightly terrified and cowering behind your half-opened front door. “how did you even find me?”

he shook his head and brushed it off. “why am i here? because you just got up and left. no note? text? a call? nothing,” he explained calmly. “why? and where is all your stuff?” you bit your bottom lip nervously and stared at him. to your surprise, he looked genuinely confused. “did i do something?”

you almost laughed. did he do something? was he serious? “you should leave. i don’t want to talk to you,” you stated while beginning to close the door.

he lunged forward quickly and pushed back on it slightly, not enough for you to be scared that he was going to force his way in or anything like that, but just to keep you from shutting it in his face. “please, baby. i jus’ wanna talk to you. i want you to come home. i wanna know why you left in the first place.”

your resolve was beginning to slip. he was being so sweet and his eyes were all glassy like he was going to cry. “rafe, i don’t want to talk to you. i can’t,” you said a little more forcefully.

his bottom lip trembled slightly and he stared at you with wide eyes. “why not? what did i do wrong? if its about not spending enough time together, i promise i’ll change. i’ll clear my schedule for the rest of the week and we can spend every second of it together. jus’ please, come back home.”

“it’s not about that,” you replied. you wanted to leave with him so desperately. he sounded so torn and sad and it was beginning to make your heart break for him. “you’re not a good person. i can’t get mixed up with that.”

a tear slipped down his cheek as the realization set in. “baby, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered softly before talking a step closer to the door. you threatened to close it, narrowing the gap between you and him. that made him take a step back instantly. “please. jus’ come home and i’ll explain. i promise you. no lying, no bullshit. i’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

you felt your nose begin to sting and tears pool in your waterline. “i can’t, rafe.” you quickly shut the door and twisted the lock. a loud bang sounded on the door and you instinctively jumped back as you sobbed.

“open the fucking door!” he shouted angrily. you could hear his voice tremble before he began to repeatedly bang on the wood. “open the door!”

you slid down the wall and curled up into yourself, letting the tears call and the ugly cries escape your mouth. you’d never seen this side of him and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t terrify you to your core.

“baby, please! i’m begging you to open the door. i just want to talk to you,” he said, his voice slightly muffled through the barrier. “i need to talk to you. i need you to know that i’m not a bad person. please.”

you were pretty sure you were past that point now.

[pellucid-constellations]

Fable - After

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Your wings were gone. The healing process would teach you much about yourself, but it would teach Azriel, too. Does it matter, in the end?

Word count: 7k

Warnings: Angst, injury, symptoms of depression (including difficulty eating)

a/n: This is part of a mini-series and the other parts can be found in the link below. Sorry this is literally so long lol. Debating on adding another chapter to the end because I obviously have a lot to say! Also, I won't be posting an update for about a week because I'll be traveling, so I hope this long chapter holds you over. Thank you :)

Series Masterlist (all parts ♡)

~~

You woke as the sun did. Yellow light made an imprint behind your eyelids and the grogginess that immediately followed let you know that this was not the first time you had been awake. Sleeping through the night had become a luxury not afforded to you. 

You clenched the pillow at your cheek between your fingers and tried to pull at the loose threads of sleep that were escaping you. 

Someone was in your room. 

Someone was always in your room these days, but this morning, you knew it was Azriel. You could feel the whisps of his shadows making barely-there strokes along your back, and his scent was unmistakable. If it was Azriel today, they didn’t expect you to talk. When they wanted you to try and speak, they sent Cassian or Mor or even Feyre on the odd occasion. 

They didn’t expect you to talk when it was Azriel. 

You supposed everyone thought you were mad at him. Truthfully, part of you was mad at him. If he had just opened his eyes once over the last hundreds of years, he would have seen that you were right there—that you were more than a responsibility for him to look after. That you were a woman in love with him and he was a fool for taking so long to notice. 

But another part of you felt that you couldn’t blame him. Azriel had never had much luck in the romance department, and you’d always chalked that up to self-sabotage. He seemed to go after women he knew he couldn’t have and only assumed late-night trysts with those he could, so you couldn’t expect much out of him. And how was he to know that you pined after him? It wasn’t as if you’d ever made any kind of move. 

But Elain had so enamored him and you were so angry at that part. Because you had been there and he had never taken the leaps and bounds he had with her. 

He had left you in that camp, so ready to believe your lie to appease her. 

You were the biggest fool of all. 

In actuality, neither of those parts mattered. There wasn’t some internal strife that fought against your sleep and made you question your feelings. You weren’t mad at Azriel. You weren’t mad at anyone or anything. You felt empty. 

You gave up on sleep, breathing heavily through your nose and squinting your eyes into the sun that peaked through your curtains. Your back ached, and even more, the insurmountable pressure on your chest was amplified by the bandages that wrapped around from behind you. They made it difficult to breathe. 

No infection had set in. It had been two and a half weeks since the incident, and Madja cleared you to begin moving around a few days ago and noted that you were “out of the woods, medically.” Everyone looked relieved as if that news had changed anything. To them, you supposed it did. You would live. That was good. 

Azriel knew you were awake, you were sure of it. You heard his chair groan as if he were leaning forward in it, and his shadows had begun to traipse around your head, weaving in and out of your hair and blocking the light from your eyes. 

He would try to get you to eat, look at you with those pitying eyes, and apologize when you could barely sit up and hold out a plate as if you were going to eat it. You hadn’t met his gaze since you woke up and there was more than just resentment behind that. There was shame—you were so ashamed of what you had become. What you had let happen. 

Maybe that was another reason why you felt so empty. How could Azriel even look at you as anything other than broken? When you were whole—when you had your wings—there was an irrational part of you that considered you had a chance with the Shadowsinger if he would just see you. 

There was nothing to see now. 

“Are you awake?” Azriel asked, keeping his voice low in the quiet room. You nodded against the pillow, face still turned from his view. The chair groaned once again. “Are you hungry?” 

No head shake. It was a frequent question that you hated being asked. 

Azriel’s footsteps were soft against your carpet. He kneeled beside your bed and attempted to catch your fleeting gaze, but you found a spot on the floor and kept it there. 

“Can you try?” he prompted. His textured fingers brushed the hair from your eyes. “Not even at the table. I’ll have the House bring you something here.” 

You pressed your lips together and fought off the burning in your nose. 

“Please, y/n.  I know you’re angry with me—I know. But please, just try to eat something.” 

Angry at him—anger wasn’t even in your repertoire at the moment. But he sounded so desperate, as did every other member of your family, and you didn’t want the let them down more than you already had. You shut your eyes and nodded, resigned. 

You built up the strength to prop yourself up on your arms, but that’s where you stopped. Your center of gravity had been completely ripped from you. Anytime you moved without your wings, it felt like free-falling from a mountain. Madja had offered—several times since physically clearing you—to come and get you back on your feet, but the motivation wasn’t there. 

You couldn’t imagine walking without the weight at your back. 

And you had avoided every reflection known to man; seeing yourself would be too much. 

“I have you,” Azriel encouraged, holding you at your waist as he twisted your body up. “Almost. There we go, angel” —he positioned you between pillows that hadn’t been on your bed before— “How’s that? Is it alright?” 

Humiliation felt like a hot knife. You nodded and found a spot on the bed to focus on. You could feel Azriel’s lingering gaze and he hesitated before placing a bowl of broth on a small platter before you. 

“Is that okay?” 

You nodded again, biting the inside of your lip. Your back ached. 

“Do you want me to leave?” 

You nodded. 

Azriel hesitated once more, rocking back on his heels before clearing his throat and letting the door softly shut behind him. The tears came then, and you were so tired of crying. 

~~

Azriel’s POV

Outside of your room, Azriel’s forehead was pressed against the wood of your door. The intricate carvings imprinted his right palm as he kept it pressed there as well, and Azriel had to breathe through his nose to calm himself. 

He was at a loss. 

He didn’t blame you for not speaking to him, but you wouldn’t speak to anyone. You wouldn’t get out of bed unless it was Mor or Feyre lifting you for a bath and you wouldn’t leave your room at all. They had all expected this—planned for a long healing process—but you were so… lifeless. 

Gods, he was helpless. You wouldn’t even look at him. 

Azriel clenched his jaw and tried to listen for the clink of the spoon against the bowl when a hand on his back startled him. Because that was another thing—he’d been off his game since you got hurt, completely useless as a spy. 

“How is she?” Cassian. Cassian was just as worried as Azriel, but Azriel was pretty sure you were looking him in the eye at least. “Get her to talk?” 

“No,” Azriel breathed through a constricting throat. He turned to meet his brother’s face. He was sure Cassian still held some resentment towards him, but he’d apologized for his outburst when you arrived at the House. Apologized, but not entirely forgiven. 

Cassian sighed and rubbed at his jaw. “Is she at least eating?” 

“She agreed to eat. I left her with some soup. She wanted me to leave.” 

“She say that?” 

“I asked and she nodded.” 

Cassian kissed his teeth and curled his wings in tighter. “Have you… talked to her?” 

Azriel had to fight the urge to scoff, throwing his brother an incredulous look. “Obviously I talk to her, Cassian. I don’t stand in her room and motion at things.” 

In response, Cassian did not fight the urge to roll his eyes. “I mean actually talk to her, Azriel. About what happened. You finding her. Her lying and you not being there. I know it was one of the only missions at the camps she’s been at without you there. That means something, no?” 

“I don’t think she wants to talk to me at all—let alone rehash all of that.” 

“Azriel,” Cassian started, stepping forward to place a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “Give her a chance to push you away. Let her be the one to do it. If you play into this fear, it might confirm things for her, and you know her mind isn’t in a good place.” 

Azriel winced. “I think you might be better to—” 

“No, Az, you. Let her eat her breakfast, give her an hour or two, and then go back in there and talk to her. I’ve already been talking to her and she won’t say a word to me. I think you’re the only person who’s been too afraid to.” 

Azriel sighed and then leaned his head back until it knocked against your door. In another life, you might’ve called out and asked who was there. But there was only silence. 

Cassian sent Azriel a look with raised brows and patted his brother twice on the shoulder before backing into the hall. He had taken four steps towards the dining room before Azriel called, “What did you mean then, about me being blind?” 

Cassian paused but didn’t turn. Azriel watched his head tilt to the side and a deep sigh escaped him. 

“Shouldn’t have said that,” Cassian muttered. He started walking once more. “Just—think a little more.”

~~

Original POV

Breakfast was fine; you kept it down and that was the goal. 

Following breakfast, you thumbed through the books Nesta had sent to you. The action was lackadaisical and without purpose. You weren’t going to read them. 

You took breaks from staring at the wall to stare out the window instead, but that only sent waves of something heavy through your chest. The skies looked so open today, with only a few clouds and endless rays of sun. Maybe if it were raining, it wouldn’t hurt so much to look out the window. 

You were being left alone far more than usual today. 

Perhaps they had grown tired of being around a stubborn mute who refused to see the bright side of things, the “well, with your injuries it’s a miracle you’re still alive,” talks not entirely working on you. You were sure that was true, but you didn’t particularly care about the marvel it took to put you back together. 

This miracle felt hollow. 

As you were about to shut your eyes and drown the rest of the day in sleep, a small knock and the creak of your door stopped you. You snapped your gaze forward and quickly averted it when you recognized Azriel stepping in, his shadows preceding him and rushing you in circles. 

You expected him to take up his post in the chair beside your bed with a simple greeting—as he had done every visit to your room in the past weeks—so when he stood at the door and spoke, confusion and anxiety filled you. 

“Um, hello,” he began. You watched his hands fumble around each other before he cleared his throat and brought them behind his back. “I realize I haven’t given you a full opportunity to be angry with me. I’ve only offered pleasantries and… well, moved you around. I wanted to speak to you if that’s alright?” 

You fixed your gaze on the wall behind him and twisted your lips to the side in the show of a grimace. 

“You don’t have to say anything back—unless you’d like to. It would just—Can I just sit and talk?” 

You had no idea why he was asking. Everyone else in the House sat in your room and talked your ear off, asking questions they wouldn’t get an answer to and telling you about the happenings in town. Azriel was the only one who stayed silent and, now, was the only one to ask permission to speak. 

Still, you slowly nodded and shifted on the pillows. 

“Does anything hurt?” he began, stepping forward with a hesitant hand reaching towards you. “I could fix—” 

You shook your head. He sat in the chair.

There was a beat of silence—uncomfortable silence, which was odd because Azriel had always been the one you felt most comfortable being quiet around. 

When he spoke, the torture in his voice had you finally whipping around to look at his face, but his gaze was downturned. 

“This is my fault,” he said, strained and cracked as he clasped his hands tightly between his knees. “I know I’ve apologized to you since you woke up, but it’s never really been for that. You have to know how sorry I am, y/n. How much I wish I had just come with you. I always come with you.” 

The muscle in his jaw jumped. “I—I don’t understand why you’d lie about Lucien going with you. Or Cassian, for that matter. I thought it was always obvious that I’d do anything for you—that you were more important to me than a date.” 

Something twisted and pulled inside of you. You were getting the devotion you so desired from him, but it was cast behind a layer of something ugly. You were more important than a date—then why did it hurt as he spoke the words to you?

“I’m sorry that I ever made you feel otherwise. I’m sorry that you felt you had to lie for my benefit. But, y/n, I thought you were dead. I walked into that camp and I heard you scream, and I thought—I thought you were dead when I held you in my arms. There was so much blood and—” 

Azriel’s words choked and stopped in the air. He pressed his hands in prayer over his mouth and when he looked up, he caught you in your stare. You sat paralyzed, wide-eyed, as he looked at you directly. 

“Why did you lie?” he asked weakly. “I would have been there. And I’m sorry I believed you so easily, but we’ve always been honest with each other. You’ve always had me.” 

Your chin trembled. You were tired of crying, but the irony of his words hit you with full force and your wings were gone. Your wings were gone and nothing would ever be the same again. 

Your trembling jaw quickly morphed into the too-quick intake of breath that made your shoulders tremble as well. And then you were heaving in ugly sobs that hurt to let go of. You clutched at the blankets beneath you until your knuckles turned white. 

Why did you lie? 

Why did you—

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry,” Azriel hushed. He was on the bed now. You hadn’t heard the chair when he got up. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he whispered into your hair. He held you at your shoulders and pressed your face into his chest. This was the most anyone had touched you. Madja only healed with brief skims of her hands and everyone else moved you with panicked touches.

“Angel, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” 

When you spoke—for the first time as this new person—your throat made the words unintelligible. Everything was scratchy and hoarse from misuse, but Azriel heard it. He gently pushed you back and found your eyes once more, his gaze wide and encouraging. 

You tried again, and again, each time more coherent but also filled with the tears the Shadowsinger continued to wipe from your cheeks. 

“I didn’t mean to lie,” finally ripped from your chest. “I only—only—” You hiccuped and Azriel’s face crumpled. “I just wanted you to be happy.” 

Azriel’s eyes were already glassy, but when your voice finally rang in his ears, the tears fell. He pressed your face into his chest once more. This time, you brought your hands up to clench his shirt between your fingers. And, because you were already vulnerable and because this was the first time in weeks you no longer felt numb, you whispered out, “My wings are gone,” and Azriel held you tighter. 

~~

You woke to speaking, a voice seeming to rattle in your head. You couldn’t remember falling asleep, only knowing it must have been a productive sleep because you did not feel weighed down. Your back throbbed, as it typically did after sleep, but there was no heaviness at your chest and you felt rested. 

Another voice in the room sounded off, and you kept your eyes shut as you tried to piece together the words. 

“—to walk. Important for her health—too much time—” 

The voice rumbling your head then said, “She might not be ready. We shouldn’t push her.” 

“She will never be ready, Azriel.” Rhysand, you deduced, the conversation in the room becoming more clear. “But, as Madja has said, if we don’t try to get her at least out of this room, she’ll be stuck in her head. Just try to get her to the balcony. Start with that.” 

“Rhysand—” 

“Don’t Rhysand me. It’s almost been three weeks. Her back is nearly healed. That’s not what we’re worried about now.” 

“And what are we worried about?” Azriel bit back. You were on his chest. Hands were on your waist.

The room lulled into a tense pause, the echo of Azriel’s near growl punctuating the silence. 

The door opened and closed, someone’s footfall departing. 

“You’ve scared off our healer, Azriel,” Rhysand noted with a mock scold. Azriel let out a small scoff. “We are all worried about her, Az. I know it feels… maybe like it’s you against the world, but it’s not. We need to get her up and moving. Her headspace isn’t good.” 

Azriel shifted you in his arms. “Fine.” 

“And Madja needs to come back in to change her dressings.” 

Your hair was moved behind your ear. “Fine.” 

Rhysand let out a tortured sigh. 

~~

Azriel’s POV 

Azriel was going to try today. 

He said that yesterday, but yesterday, you had let him coerce you into sitting by the window instead of in bed, and you had talked to him the entire time, so he forgot to bring it up. 

A large part of Azriel was afraid of pushing you—afraid that you would close up again and refuse to look at him. But he knew Rhys and Madja and everyone else in this House was right. You needed to start making progress. You needed to be able to live some semblance of a normal life without your wings. 

It was strange to see you without them. The pit in his chest grew each time you moved to accommodate them. You would shift in bed or reach around to reposition the fantom limb and realization would come before the dread. Sometimes that was it for the day, you wouldn’t speak anymore. Azriel would read to you when that happened. 

You had started to talk to the rest of the circle, which Azriel was mostly glad for, but the smallest bout of protectiveness had somehow dug its way into his heart. When he would walk into your room to find you chatting with Cassian or listening to Rhys, Azriel would have to pause at the territorial feeling that temporarily consumed him. He figured it was only because you were still hurt. That would fade. 

When he came in today, you were alone, and Azriel felt relieved. For a moment. 

You were already awake and looked well-rested, which was detrimental to his plan of asking you while you were half asleep. You set your book down to stare up at him, and even the fact that you were reading was not lost on him. 

You were making progress. This was part of progress.

“Good morning, y/n,” Azriel greeted, standing at the foot of your bed. 

The action already made you nervous. You eyed the chair beside you and glanced back at him. “Hi, Az.” 

Azriel’s lash fluttered at the sound of your voice, still so fresh after weeks of silence. You were meeker than you once sounded, unsure and small. 

Azriel took in a breath before asking, “How’s today?”

“Today is good,” you replied, words slow. 

Azriel spied the remaining badges peeking out from the top of your shirt. You needed this. “I think we should walk today.” 

Silence consumed the room. Your lips parted as you stared at him, and Azriel immediately wanted to eat his words. Another beat of silence. And then another. He tried desperately not to shift weight between his feet lest he look antsy or unsure. 

You blinked, twice, and then stared down at your fingers as they rested in your lap. 

“I know it will be difficult,” Azriel tried, speaking low. “But I’ll be here. We don’t have to go far. A few steps, that’s all I’m asking.” 

You pressed your thumbnail into your palm, brows furrowed. You hadn’t smiled, Azriel realized, not since before. Your tongue darted out to wet your lips before you spoke. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” Azriel asked, bending down to catch your gaze unsuccessfully. 

You blinked back up at him. “Okay, I’ll try.” And then, in a much lower tone, as Azriel walked to your side, you grumbled, “Not as if I could get any lower than I am now.” 

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” you replied, reaching for his outstretched hands. “Doesn’t mean anything.” 

Azriel decided to revisit that later. He wouldn’t pass up this opening you had provided, even though his heart ached at what you’d insinuated. He held your hands in his own and leaned forward as you shifted yourself to the side, your legs hanging off the edge of the bed. 

Already, the disorientation on your face was difficult to stomach. You swayed backward with a pinched expression and your nostrils flared in frustration, but Azriel only held your hands firm and steady. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he comforted, allowing his thumb to brush your knuckle. “Anything hurt?”

You shook your head, your lips pressed in a tight line. Azriel forced himself into your field of vision and nodded, softly counting to three as your eyes darted quickly between both of his. As your legs straightened and Azriel’s hands held you up, you refused to break the connection. Azriel wouldn’t be the one to break it. 

You were shaky on your feet and completely unbalanced, but you were standing, and that was all Azriel could ask for. He gripped your hands tighter as your breathing deepened, the struggle evident on your face. 

“Feel okay?” Azriel asked. 

“No,” you grimaced. “But keep going,” you breathed out. 

“Okay, okay. Start with your right. I won’t let go of you.” 

And you did as he asked, albeit with a small groan and a look up at the ceiling. You abandoned the frustration in favor of staring directly at your feet and white-knuckling the grip on Azriel’s hands as you swayed and brought your right foot forward. The moment you placed it down you wobbled on it and had to right yourself three times, causing one of Azriel’s hands to come around your waist. 

You gritted your teeth but continued with your left foot with some encouragement from Azriel. He stepped back with each step you took forward, his hands glued to your body to correct the mistakes from your core. You made it six steps and Azriel was elated. He let out a small, breathy laugh. 

“You’re incredible,” he deemed. 

And it was so, so small, but the scoff-like laugh you offered was accompanied by a minuscule half-smile, and Azriel was over the moon. You looked up at him, a sarcastic upturn of your eyes lighting them up, and Azriel was struck then. 

Mate. 

Mate. 

It was so obvious, so clear. There was never anything but this. But you. 

You were meant to be his and he yours. Years of this pull to you, and he always thought it to be one of friendship. He’d always loved you, always, but he’d never humored the possibility of anything more. You’d seen him in his teen years. Gods, you’d seen him in his twenties when he was terribly full of himself without the credentials to be so. 

And he’d seen you through the decades of your life as well. 

But everything was so much clearer now. He’d always been protective of you, always been the first to follow you. That was part of why this had been so devastating—he’d let you down, left you alone. For another woman. 

Azriel felt his stomach lurch and then something rotten was left in his mouth. 

His mate—he’d let this happen to his mate. 

And what had he said in the store that day? When you’d asked him what would happen if he’d found his mate?

He’d said it wouldn’t matter, that Elain was bigger than a mating bond. 

Elain.

“Azriel?” Your worried tone snapped him back to the present. To the way your legs shook and your body swayed before him. He quickly scooped you up at your waist and held you close as he walked you back to the bed. 

“That’s enough for today,” he said, tucking you back into the bed. His hands were shaking. “Does anything hurt?”

“Are you okay?” you asked, and when you looked at him with your wide eyes, he was so angry at himself. 

Nothing made sense, but everything did. 

“I’m alright,” he reassured, placing a hand on the top of your head. “We need to take that slow. Your muscles need to be rebuilt along with your balance.” 

He needed to get out of this room. He needed to—

“I promise I’ll be able to do more tomorrow. You’ll… come back tomorrow, right?” 

Something was screaming at him. His shadows. They twisted and struck his ears before coming down to rest gently at your shoulders. 

“Of course I will.” 

~~

Original POV

Azriel did not come back the following day, or the day after that. 

Mor came on the first day, a smile plastered on her concerned face. She held her hands out as Azriel did and got you to walk ten steps before exhaustion made your legs shake. She sat beside your bed and went on and on about some shop in Velaris and you laid back and listened. 

You loved Mor, but it became hard to swallow when she was the one to walk through your door that morning. 

The next day, it was Cassian. 

He grinned and boasted about being the best person on the job, rounding your bed and heaving you up by your hips until you were pressed against his front. Cassian took a different approach to you relearning how to walk, placing your feet on top of his to move as he did. He was joking at first, laughter fresh in his tone, but he got serious as your brow twisted and your body swayed. 

“You got it,” he assured. He stepped back, his hands now just hovering over your hips as you balanced against him. “You’re doing great.” 

You gripped the sleeves of his shirt. “I should know how to walk,” you said through gritted teeth. “I shouldn’t have stayed in bed so long.” 

“You were healing. Resting. No one expected you to hop up and be fine, y/n.” 

“I moped for too long. This wouldn’t be so hard if I had started earlier.” 

“Hey—” 

Frustration had accumulated, building since realizing that you really were only a fraction of yourself, and that was probably why Azriel hadn’t come back. You clenched your teeth once more and pushed from Cassian’s body, finding the ground beneath your feet and ignoring the protest from the Illyrian before you—the one with his wings so tightly pressed to his back that you almost could forget they were there. Almost. 

But the action was short-lived. Cassian grappled for your waist as your body only allowed you two steps forward before you shot backward, an ache permeating down your spine as it tried to accommodate the movement. 

“Cauldron, y/n, warn a guy,” Cassian scolded, stepping you back to sit on the bed. “Did you do this with everyone or am I just special?” 

Frustration burned behind your eyes. You stayed silent as you scrubbed your hand down your face. You couldn’t even fling yourself back against the bed as you wanted, knowing that pain would radiate down your back if you did. 

You couldn’t do anything. The extra time you’d spent with Azriel had created a false sense of… something you needed to let go of. He was pitying you—that was all. You were a broken creature, and he felt responsible. 

“What was that about, huh?” Cassian asked, kneeling before you and looking up below a raised brow. 

“I’m broken,” you admitted, resolute and small. “That’s why Azriel won’t come back, isn’t it? I can’t walk. I’m not how I was. I let this happen to me. I should know how to walk.” 

Cassian’s tongue clicked as his head tilted to the side. “No, y/n, you’re not broken. You didn’t let anything happen to you. This is all—Gods, this is all a fucking mess. But the one thing you can know is that you aren’t broken. And Azriel—he’s dealing with something right now. He’s not avoiding you because you’re broken.” 

You stared back at him, the empty feeling slowly creeping back into your chest. You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded when Cassian gave you an expectant look. You would act as if you believed him, and the following day, when Azriel stepped through your door, maybe it felt a bit easier to lie. 

“Did you handle what you needed to?” you asked him, your hands cemented against his own as he guided you around your room. The words came out strained as your balance faltered. 

Azriel took a moment before responding, “You could say that.” 

“Was it Elain?” You hadn’t meant to ask the question, and the bitterness in your tone was new to even you, but it came out all the same. You avoided Azriel’s gaze as it snapped to your face. 

“Some of it,” he admitted. His eyes burned into you. You stared at your feet as you stepped. “But only some.” 

“How’s that working out for you?” 

“Y/n.” 

You stepped again. And again. It was easier each day, but that also spelled a more difficult future. The further you walked, the sooner you would have to come to terms with your wings being gone. Staying in bed helped you avoid that truth. 

You ignored Azriel’s call and stepped again. 

“Look at me. Please.” 

You shifted your jaw to the side but glanced up through your lashes and gave in to his request. Azriel’s beseeching expression made you falter. 

“I can never apologize fully for not being there that night. With Elain—“ Azriel paused, wincing. “I’ve been blind to what’s important. You tried to tell me. Everyone tried to tell me. I was so caught up in a chance at happiness. It was never about Elain.” 

You had no reply. Your legs were shaking. 

Azriel seemed to take a different approach. “I meant what I said before—that you’re incredible. You’ve pushed yourself so hard and we’re all proud of you.” 

“Is that why you didn’t come back when you said you would?” you asked. The tinge of bitterness remained. “Because you’re proud of me?” 

“I had to—y/n, there were things—“ 

“Just say you’ve been visiting out of pity, Azriel. That would make this easier.” 

You gripped his hands harder as your wave of frustration made walking more difficult. You grunted slightly and Azriel took that as a sign to shift your weight from your feet, holding you to his body even as you struggled against him, even as you averted your gaze. 

Gods, this was better when you kept your mouth shut. 

“I do not pity you. Y/n—y/n. I don’t, do you hear me?” 

“Why?” you stressed, pushing your hands against his chest in a futile escape attempt. “Why, Azriel? Too busy running after Elain to make room for it?” 

“Don’t say that. I already told you—“

“Just let me go.” 

“No.”

“Oh, so now you listen to me.” 

“Y/n—“ 

“This was already humiliating, Azriel. And then you said you’d be back and you weren’t,” you accused. “You got weird when I finally started walking and I know you only came in here because Cassian told you about yesterday.” 

“Yesterday?” he questioned. 

You rolled your eyes. It was so much easier to be angry than hurt. “When I asked about you. I know he can’t keep a secret.” 

Azriel only shook his head. “He hadn’t told me anything. I needed a few days because I’m the weak one. Me. I needed distance because I’m reminded, every time I see you, that I could have prevented this. Im selfish.

“And Elain,” he trailed off, hazel eyes flicking between yours. “I had to tell her that I’ve been a fool. I won’t be pursuing her anymore.” 

Your brows furrowed. You gave up fighting against Azriel, but he kept both of your hands in a grip at his chest, his other arm locked at your lower back. This felt like a weight lifted from your chest, but it wasn’t that easy. None of this was easy. 

“Why?” 

Azriel paused. 

Something flashed across his face, indecipherable to even you, but he covered it just as quickly.

“It wasn’t supposed to be her. I’ve always known that.” 

More silence blanketed the room. Your earlier anger melted into a white-hot embarrassment that lingered in the pit of your stomach. You’d never been one quick to anger. Azriel hadn’t even blinked an eye. 

“Can I help you back to your bed?”

You pressed your lips together. 

“I want to read with you, if that’s alright?” 

Your head turned down. You nodded. 

~~ 

Azriel’s POV 

Azriel couldn’t tell you. 

He couldn’t. 

It was clear that no bond lit up your chest as his did, and that made sense to Azriel. You’d been through a loss few could ever imagine. You were stuck in your head for most of the day, and then angry or numb for the rest of it. The only time you seemed to find reprieve was during conversation that had nothing to do with anything of meaning. 

Azriel would take what he could get. So he read beside you and helped you walk and he didn’t tell you that a bond connected your souls. 

How could he even broach the subject, anyway? When he had so openly pined after another woman? 

This was not the time. 

You needed to focus on yourself. He would focus on you and you would focus on yourself. 

It had been about a month since you began walking again, and two since your injury. He counted each day. On the second week of the third month, Azriel saw you in the hallway. Feyre walked alongside you as you trailed your fingers on the wall, and while it gave the air of a casual stroll, he could see his High Lady’s hand hover behind you. While he took effortful breaths to calm his excitement, his shadows did not. 

“Azriel, what terrible timing!” Feyre scolded, batting away the shadows as they stormed you. “I finally got her out here and you're going to knock her over with air.”

“I apologize,” he spoke, but he wasn’t sorry in the slightest. Despite your unsteady gait, you lit up as his shadows swirled around you, displacing your hair and clothes as you went. And then you laughed; a small sound, but one that Azriel felt in his chest. 

“Call them back,” you giggled. Azriel’s face warmed along with his chest. “I’m going to collapse into this wall if you don’t.” 

“Azriel,” Feyre called, and Azriel hadn’t noticed he was staring. He blinked and shook his head as if to clear it and tried to call his shadows back. And then tried again. 

They were stuck to you. 

“I really am trying,” he explained, taking a step closer. “They seem attached.” 

“I can’t imagine why,” Feyre groaned. She shot the Shadowsinger a look and wrapped her arm around your shoulder, tugging you into her side. “Idiot bats.” 

As the pair walked past him, his shadows still whispering along your arms, you hooked your chin over your shoulder, casting him a lingering gaze. It was odd to see your face with such clarity, no wings clouding his view. Even more odd was the uncomfortable way you walked; the leaning into Feyre’s side was more necessary than for the show. 

The strangest thing, however, was the tug in his chest that left him breathless. Every time you looked at him, that thread in his chest tugged and yanked and begged him to get closer. 

But this wasn’t the time. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be the time for several decades. 

Not after he let you down in such a way. 

He would spend the rest of his life making up for that, even if you were none the wiser to the bond between you. He would protect you for the rest of your life, as he was meant to do from the beginning. That feeling, the urge, only swelled as you turned forward and continued your walk with your High Lady, Azriel still hearing the remnants of your laugh in the hall as you went. 

A shadow broke away from your figure and lopped around his ear, reminding him that he actually did have a destination before he became so enraptured by you. It whispered to him hurriedly and Azriel had to break his gaze from your retreating back as he made his way to Rhysand’s study. Each step had him increasingly irritated; he should have been with you the day you decided to leave your room. 

He bit back his vexation when he felt the tension in the room. 

“Azriel. Good,” Rhysand greeted. The door swung shut. “Sit. We need to talk.” 

“That doesn’t sound promising,” Azriel remarked, shifting his leathers as he took a wide seat on the chair across Rhysand’s desk. 

From the couch beside him, Cassian let out a humorless chuckle. “I think you’ll find this quite promising, brother.” 

“As long as it’s quick. I have other things to attend to today.” 

Cassian sent a wry grin in Rhysand’s direction. “I told you he’d see her in the hall.” He turned back to Azriel. “Packed schedule today, Az?” 

“You know better, Cassian,” Rhysand chided, the lightness in his tone betraying the scolding nature of his words. 

“Is there an actual point to this discussion?” Azriel deadpanned. 

“Bond feeling a little loose?” 

Azriel threw him a dirty look. It hadn’t taken a genius to recognize the change in Azriel the day the bond snapped, his heightened aggression paired with the scent of you still lingering on his clothes had Cassian immediately clocking the Shadowsinger. He’d looked surprised—gaurded and surprised. Rhysand looked as if he’d been the one waiting for the bond to snap, and Azriel had sent him a myriad of questions. 

Namely: Why the hell wouldn’t he tell him he thought you were his mate? 

“Don’t taunt him, Cass.” 

“Where’s the fun in that?” 

“Are we getting to the point?” Azriel drawled. The desire to get back to you itched beneath his skin. Maybe you’d made it to the kitchen and he’d sit at the table beside you. 

Rhysand sighed. He tapped his finger against a piece of parchment laid on the desk. “I have correspondence from the northeast camp. From the spies you have placed there.” 

Azriel sat up in his chair. “Why wouldn’t they speak to me directly?” 

“I had them turn all communication over to me. You’re too close to this and I wouldn’t have you acting rashly and putting yourself in unnecessary danger.” 

“They are my spies—” 

“I didn’t do it to undermine you, Azriel,” Rhysand interrupted, raising a hand in surrender. “You can’t tell me that if you got word her attackers were found you wouldn’t immediately rush into that camp without a plan or even a weapon.” 

Azriel breathed hard from his nose and clenched the wooden chair arms between scarred fingers. 

In the silence, Rhysand continued. “I wouldn’t expect anything less, brother. But you understand why that was a risk I couldn’t take.” 

“What did the correspondence say?” Azriel gritted out, his mood depleted of the lightness you had brought. 

Rhysand eyed Cassian on the other side of the room before fixing his gaze on his Spymaster. “The escaped attackers have been identified. They aren’t contained, and no one even knows where they are, but we know who they are.” 

Fiery rage met Azriel’s soured mood.

If only he knew of the terrors that would continue to fall. 

[beloveds-embrace]

so i have a habit of calling be love/babe/darling as a term of enderament (even in friendships) and was wondering how the dukedom guys would react to being called love or darling by the reader for the first time? I grt it probably wasnt as socially acceptable back then but the thought still plaques my mind

Historical accuracy who? We don’t know her shhh

Original post

But they’d love it! At first, you had tried really hard to stop yourself and semi-succeeded by only calling your maids like that. Your parents always hated that habit of yours, a leftover from your nanny’s own habit. They had warned you again and again and again to not let your tongue run, to keep your words polite and demure, only fallen women working in brothels would speak so freely.

And you did keep it under control for a good while; with your interactions few with John, you could remind yourself not to let your tongue loose and call him honey right off the bat when he simply calls you by your name. It’s harder with Kyle, you almost slip and call him darling, same with Johnny. With Simon it’s easier because on the times he visits, you leave him to his meetings with John and don’t bother them. (Or what you thought were business meetings at that time lol)

But once they start getting closer to you, it’s inevitable that the nicknames start slipping out.

“Kyle, darling-“ you are rushing today, and the words slip out before you realize. You just spare a thought to wonder why he’s frozen solid like that. “Where is my hairpin? I was so sure we left it on my vanity?”

“Thank you, sweetheart,” you say to Johnny when he brings you a platter of fresh deserts while working, not lifting your head from the papers in front of you other than to flash him a quick, grateful smile. You don’t notice how long it takes before Johnny stutters out a ‘welcome, m’lady’ and leaves you be.

“Simon, honey?” You ask on another occasion, voice too worried to notice what you’d called him. No maids around, and no one would question you calling you husband’s ‘close friend’ by his name in your home. “Is your leg okay? You are leaning on it too much, shall I call the doctor?” His silence is typical to you, but too busy fussing over his leg, you don’t see his face. Until you look up, eyes widening at his averted eyes and red-tipped ears. “Are you sick, Simon? You should be resting instead, you know?”

And at last… “John, love,” you sigh softly, controlling the tremble of your limbs. You look away from the newspaper, though you believe it should just be called a glorified gossip magazing, and close your eyes. Duke Price’s Duchess remains barren of a child! Is a divorce in their future? “It’s alright, it is what it is-“ you try to calm him.

Up until now, from the moment you’d both read the headline, John had been fuming. He wasn’t loud in his anger, but it was clear in his ticking jaw and clenched fists. So you expect him to continue in his anger.

“…I will deal with it.” John promises, voice low but no longer a rolling thunder. He sits down calmer now, when you finally open your eyes to look at him. He’s simply gazing at you, and his hands clench in the air before he sets them down on the table. “They won’t be slandering you any longer, wife. I promise you.”

You wish you could pinpoint what soothed him, but alas. Though you know he will try his best and maybe this news agency won’t make anymore comments like this about you, others will still continue to do so.

“It’s alright.” You repeat, but the words ring hollow and the smile on your face is empty. You push your plate away. “Now, if my husband permits it, I don’t believe I can stomach much more.”

“You never need my permission for such things,” he tells you; a sentiment he’d told you from the very first day. His face softens. “Go rest. Today, I will take care of everything that needs to be done.”

Darling, sweetheart, honey, love… they wonder if you know how much those words repeat in their minds.

[infamous-if]

✭INFAMOUS UPDATE IS HERE ✭

238K -> 457K WORDS

Please read this post before playing! It's finally here! After five months of writing and rewriting and salvaging and crying and sweating and bleeding I finally finished sort of kind of! Firstly, I want to thank you for your patience and understanding over this duration of this rewrite. It was stressful at times but I'm happy with the end result and I hope everyone else will be too :)

This will be the last chapter I release without beta testers/other sets of eyes so expect errors. I can playtest until my fingers turn blue but I'm just one person </3 I'm bound to have missed stuff.

Please let me know of errors! I tested it a few times with no problems but we know how it goes lol

IN THIS CHAPTER THREE UPDATE:

drama

mayhem

chaos

some betrayal

some surprises

just...read it lmao

PROLOGUE - CHAPTER 2 CHANGES:

**chapter two was too large of a file to upload on dd so I had to split it last minute and I uhhhh dont know how that translates in the demo but it should work lol please let me know if its wonky!**

fixed up grammatical errors and typos

expanded some scenes and added some more choices

you can now choose that your mc has "changed" in some way (drinking, no longer drinking, partier, no longer a partier, negative, positive, attached, detached, or a general default. I was asked to add an MC who "gets around" or hookups a lot but I'm still debating on whether I'll add that since there's already quite a bit lolol)

you can choose to have changed your band's genre before/after seven

TECHNICAL CHANGES:

you will be able to explicitly state your sexuality in the beginning. this was a big ask and I apologize for not doing it earlier! I wasn't good at coding when I started and I knew I always wanted to make the genders separate from MC's sexuality but I didn't know how to do that at the start :) So you can still choose the genders of the ROs for story purposes and variety. IF YOU DO NOT SEE ROMANCE OPTIONS THAT IS NOT A BUG. You simply chose a RO gender that doesn't correlate with the sexuality you chose for your MC. Having said that, if you do see a romance option available and it's not supposed to be there please let me know! That means I may have missed it coding-wise.

the stats have been all fixed! I've added all the necessary variables and such. The stat portion of the game has been updated with the appropriate pages but they're not finished. Still, the stats should be fine.

You will now have confessionals in the stat page! The feature still isn't a thing yet because I haven't come up with the confessionals lolol but you can click on it to see what it's about. Essentially, as you progress through the story you will be able to see confessionals from the cast of Infamous throughout. They disappear and appear periodically so if you miss it, THAT'S IT! You won't get a chance to see them again until MC watches an episode where it's relevant.

There is now a: Discography page, Infamous wiki, botb cast and staff page, and other characters page for organization. Those are not finished but they're there!

I changed a few stat names but their functions remain the same.

You will be able to choose how you would like to be described (masculine, feminine, neither, both).

O is officially gender-selectable.

You can set the genders of the ROs at the start or wait till you meet them.

PLAY HERE

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Game Set Match

♥ masterlist | request rules

♥ pairing: oscar piastri x olympic!tennisplayer!reader

♥ synopsis: with the help of carlos sainz and your brother carlos alcaraz, you were able to score a date with your favorite f1 driver

♥ smau - fc: women on pinterest - as always none of the pictures are mine <3

♥ warnings: swearing !!!

♥ a/n: here's some super late olympic fics

-July 28 2024-

liked by carlossainz55, carlitosalcarazz, arynasabalenka, and 406,271 more

ynalcaraz photo dump

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user7 the f1 in the second pic is so real

carlitosalcarazz she’s obsessed with that one mclaren driver

carlossainz55 @/carlitosalcarazz LANDO?!

carlitosalcarazz no the other one

carlossainz55 oh oscar

user1 PLS 😭

user2 THE DIFFERENCE LMAO

user4 new carcar lore

user10 y/n is just like me fr fr

user3 carlos sainz and the alcaraz siblings being friends was not on my 2024 bingo card

user8 I <3 them

user11 the collab we in fact knew we needed

user12 not carlos casually telling the whole world that y/n has a crush on oscar

user6 the fact that we got an oscar p2 today too

user5 SO hyped to see the both of them at the olympics

uer13 same !!!

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-left: your phone- -right: carlos a's phone-

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by carlitosalcarazz, landonorris, ynalcaraz and 294,923 more

f1gossip Oscar Piastri taking promotional pictures in Paris in time for the 2024 Olympics

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user1 y/n is shaking in her boots rn

user2 miss rabbit has fainted

user7 NAH HE SAW THE POSTS

user6 was he invited by a certain someone

ynalcaraz @/carlitosalcarazz YOU DIDN'T.

carlitosalcarazz I did

ynalcaraz blocked.

carlossainz55 I was expecting a thank you

ynalcaraz stop roping other carlos into this 😩

carlossainz55 you call me other carlos?

landonorris 🤣🫵

user3 ynoscar crumbs

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, lewishamilton, and 593,502 more

oscarpiastri thanks for inviting me @/carlitosalcarazz and congrats on yours and @/ynalcaraz’s gold 🥇

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ynalcaraz @/carlitosalcarazz i fucking knew it

ynalcaraz anyway thanks tho osc 🥰

user1 the nickname.

carlitosalcarazz great to see you again

landonorris me wondering where my invite was

oscarpiastri me wondering where I asked

user12 PLSS

user14 the girls are fighting

landonorris its all good fun

user7 my pookies met

user3 the second picture is going down in sports history tbh

user5 congrats to them !!!

user6 am I fucking crazy or did he get those roses for y/n

user11 you're crazy

user8 @/user11 NAH NAH let them cook

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, lilymhe, and 1,492,753 more

oscarpiastri de nada

user6 I HATE ❌ TO SAY 🗣️ I TOLD YOU 🫵 SO

user2 AHHH

user4 the fact he got her flowers...

user3 just get married already

user10 I love them

user7 I'm so proud of her for winning gold today !!!

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, alex_albon, and 1,489,475 more

mclaren life rn

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ynalcaraz why that picture of me 😕

mclaren sorry yn!!

ynalcaraz you’re forgiven admin 😚🫶

user1 THE FACT THAT LANDO AND OSCAR WERE FLIRTING WITH HER THE WHOLE VIDEO 💀

user2 it's mr steal your girl

user9 why was oscar actually so good tho

ynalcaraz he should sign up for aussie's team

user10 @/ynalcaraz I think he was trying to impress you

lilymhe golf next

ynalcaraz i second that

user8 @/mclaren admin were you the ballboy? 😭

mclaren I was and I'm proud

liked by charles_leclerc, user7, user1, and 394,473 more

ynalcaraz can someone tell @/carlossainz55 to stay out of my love life

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carlossainz55 I'm the one who got you the date ???

carlitosalcarazz I did all the heavy lifting

user1 c2 but not in the way you think

user7 @/user1 carlos got y/n in the charlos divorce

user3 I'd recognize those shorts anywhere lol

user4 bro made it SOOO obvious that it was him

user8 oscar we know its you open up

liked by oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, carlitosalcarazz, and 1,147,329

ynalcaraz "thank you carlos" we all say in unison

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carlossainz55 you're welcome.

carlitosalcaraz it was about time

oscarpiastri I love you carino

ynalcaraz I love you too <3

lilymhe you and oscar too cute

ynalcaraz 🥹🫶

user3 thank you carlos

user1 thank you carlos

oscarpiastri thank you carlos 🫡

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

end notes: hi loves <3 I know this was a short fic but I hope you still enjoyed it! I'll hopefully be releasing some longer ones soon but I've been pretty busy recently.