#teen wwx was a little shit i love him

[naehja]

He's so proud of himself

[letteredlettered]

I really struggle with the idea I've seen expressed in some quarters and hinted at in some fic that if WWX had just been sincere and friendly with LWJ in their youth, instead of constantly teasing him and trying to provoke his ire, they could've just been friends.

The truth is that WWX does sincerely apologize several times and sincerely confesses he wants to be friends; it's only when LWJ gives no response that he proceeds to turn it into teasing and aggravating behavior. I think that WWX would have basically needed to ignore every single signal that LWJ gave that LWJ didn't want to give him the time of day. He would have needed to over and over again submit to being ignored and dismissed and just pretend like it was a normal thing for a friend to do, because part of the point is that LWJ doesn't know how to have friends.

Not all friends tease each other, true. Certainly plenty of friends do not tease each other in the annoying, sometimes hurtful way WWX teases! But plenty of people did not tease LWJ and were perfectly polite to him, but he still did not have friends. When LWJ does like someone, he's so repressed and confused about it that he doesn't know how to show it or what to say.

Even if he did know how to show his feelings, what LWJ fell in love with was this terror who would not stop provoking him and could not stop teasing him. It's unclear to me that he even would have liked WWX to stop teasing and provoking him. It seems to me that he would not nearly be so interested if WWX was suddenly all politeness and kindness; it seems to me that he would not have been nearly so thrilled with WWX if WWX was just nice and friendly.

Regardless, I'm not trying to say that WWX was faultless or the fact that they weren't BFFs was all LWJ's fault, but I am trying to say it's a real two-way street.

Likewise, people who say that LWJ was "being mean" to WWX or that it's LWJ's fault they weren't friends because LWJ didn't accept WWX's apologies or because LWJ didn't believe WWX's overtures about friendship also seem to be missing the point. First of all, just as what really interested LWJ about WWX was WWX being a little shit, what really interested WWX about LWJ was the fact that he couldn't get a reaction out of him. I don't think it's the case that if LWJ suddenly just started being friendly and sweet to WWX WWX would've just dropped him as a friend, but I fail to see how WWX could become so out-of-his-mind obsessed with him, since even after they're together, WWX loves making LWJ angry, loves getting reactions out of LWJ because it is hard and it is rare.

And just like WWX would have had to ignore LWJ's dismissal of him, LWJ would have had to ignore WWX's constant cruelty, constant tricks, constant insincerity if he'd just decided to accept WWX's friendship. He would have to deal with being flustered and embarrassed and made into a fool, because it's not like WWX stops doing that once he's your friend. And I think the whole point of their teenage relationship is that it's very hard, when you're a teen, to be made a fool, even if you like it a little, and it's especially hard for someone raised the way LWJ was.

Tl;dr, I don't understand any of these arguments about either LWJ or WWX being "at fault" for their bad relationship early on; I think the point of the novel is though they like each other they're kind of fundamentally incompatible, and they have to grow into their compatibility (and to be fair, LWJ does most of the growing; WWX for the most part remains a little shit).

[piosplayhouse]

what are your controversial wwx views? 👀 (asking as a fellow controversial wwx view-haver)

In the grand scheme of things I personally think my opinions are pretty lukewarm but I got a lot of shit a while back for making a post saying that it's important to acknowledge that wwx has privilege as a male cultivator member of the gentry and certified genius, and that that's important because even though he knows that his position in society is extremely tenuous and that so many people are willing to fight to force him to lose it, he still chooses to stand up for those even lower in society (in that post I was thinking specifically of the women in mdzs, particularly the brothel women because they're basically never considered). And then? A bunch of people started shittalking me because apparently wwx is the most underprivileged character in the story? And he's lower status than even the non cultivating sex workers because he was homeless as a kid?

I'm also neutral-positive on Jiang Cheng and made the great sin of making a completely neutral poll asking for people's opinions on him correlating with if they grew up with siblings and got a bunch of accusations of being a wwx anti, rigging the poll, and misrepresenting the answers (the results of which were completely even btw) based off . The fact I used a picture of grapes as the poll banner. Yeah . Wwx was never mentioned in the poll at all also. You can probably still find all that shit if you search my username, anons were just fully accidentally pinging me and everything, it's why I don't name search any more even though I know some people make posts based off my ideas but are afraid of pinging me (don't be btw!!! Please ping me 🥺🥺)

I actually really didn't like wwx in my first read-through of mdzs because I really related to teen lwj and felt very personally about the idea of overly pushy boundary breaking teenager attitudes, but I definitely grew to like him lol. I don't know how much that shows through in my posts, I think I've made a few comments about thinking that he was definitely a little bit of a dick as a teen but I don't know how controversial that is

So overall I'm sorry to disappoint, not very controversial opinions, but I've gotten so much grief for them anyways you'd think I posted some shit like wwx is my least favorite character in all of fiction 😵‍💫😵‍💫 there's probably more stuff that could be considered controversial but I'm so disconnected from mdzs fandom at this point that I don't really know what the general consensus is. I'd love to hear yours though!!!! Feel free to anon or message or whatever you feel comfortable with, I won't judge

[aphel1on]

tag someone you want to get to know better

tagged by @woobifiedvillain a few days ago and finally remembered to do it!!

Favorite color: Yellow, but not an overwhelming yellow, like that soft warm yellow? I love it. People tend to not expect this answer, I think I give off more of a blue or grey vibe. Honestly a pretty grey/silver is probably my second favorite color, but a buttery yellow is just so good for the soul.

Last song: You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. Danced to it in the kitchen, got consumed by the guitar riffs, nearly knocked a chair over. Before this morning it would've been the Genshin OST... I've been listening to it a lot while I write or do chores recently.

Last movie: An exceedingly mediocre romcom on Netflix that I watched with my sick mom to be nice. Genuinely couldn't tell you the title or more than like, two or three plot points. Last movie that I watched bc I wanted to was the Barbie movie, which was genuinely better than I expected. Enjoyable but would still give it, like, a mixed review. I'm not getting into two months' ago Barbie Movie Discourse on this post

Currently watching: I'M STILL TRYING TO FINISH THE UNTAMED!!!! woobifiedvillain i'm speaking directly to you and quoting you: i too am "chronically incapable of paying attention to visual media, even the good shit" and when i try to explain this to people irl they act like i am insane!!! I haven't watched Good Omens season 2 yet even tho I am reblogging posts about it rn. I think it's mostly adhd, or really just a part of the larger Neurodivergence Soup (tm) that makes it nearly impossible for me to learn something from a YouTube video. I mean, sometimes for a hands-on task a video is essential, but can't there be a written list of instructions to go with it too, bc that sticks in my mind way better sobs... ANYWAY i'm currently on episode 43 of The Untamed, so I should be able to finish it by, like. The end of the year at least lol?

Currently reading: I started reading SVSSS recently because, like. The mxtx mania is in full throttle. I just got here a little later than most people lmao. I'm also currently "reading" like seven different books that I bought or pirated this year and have on hold. One of my Unfortunate Skills is bingereading like 200 pages of something in 1-2 days and then not finishing the rest of it for 8 months.

Currently working on: Keep My Shadow Alive, my big xue yang-centric fix it fic!!! Well, more like a fix it, and then break it more, and then eventually actually fix it fic. Starting from the canon divergence of "Add Pre-Teen Xue Yang to the Burial Mounds Fam" and going from there. I read every fic like that that's on ao3 and was still being eaten alive by the brainworms so I started writing my own take on it and ~6 months later it's the longest fic I've ever written and only 25% of the way through its outline???? So. Who knows if it will get finished (my track record is admittedly not great)- but I've had such a blast writing it so far. Xue Yang is just SO fun to write. Yes it has a plot and character arcs and I could even go full English Major* and start telling you about its Themes, but also it's just an excuse to write Xue Yang interacting with every member of the MDZS cast. Going to STOP talking now bc I fully am the type of writer who will get carried away talking about their wips.

*i am not an english major, but spiritually i am an english major.

Current obsession: Yeah uh, MDZS. My friend convinced me to finally read it in January of this year, and the hyperfixation train has simply not stopped since then. Genshin Impact also dragged me back in with the Fontaine update and I've been having a lot of fun playing it. But MDZS is still mostly the thing that's eating up my RAM. Particularly the Yi City crew, but 3zun is rotating in there too. Sometimes even The Man WWX Himself, i talk about him less but i do love him a lot also lol

Tagging: I'm honestly too shy to do this!!! But thank you for tagging me anyway<3

[llycaons]

selected excerpts from that pool AU that made me laugh

I don't really love how that art depicted lxc but writing him as a foolish, infatuated teenager who constantly puts his foot in his mouth is a new one. and we never really saw lxc in canon younger than his late teens/early 20s, at which point he was already the leader of the sect. so it was kind of fun to imagine. lxc and nmj here are the dramatic couple in the forefront and wx are the subtler one in the background, which is very different. usually wx takes up all the space and drama available lol

"You can share my lane," Mingjue says. "Really? You don't mind?" Mingjue shrugs. "It's a public pool." Frankly, it's not an inspiring sign, but Lan Huan still shoots Lan Zhan a secret thumbs up before clomping down the pool ladder.

...

Lan Zhan startles and checks to make sure Lan Huan isn't drowning. (He isn't, although not by much.)

...

Lan Zhan has half a mind to march over and explain aquatic safety to them. ("Wow, you're so familiar with the pool rules," the lifeguard would swoon. "Let's run away together!")

...

"Wei Ying. Nice to meet you.…are you auditing me right now?" "Auditing?" "Yeah. Like, get me distracted while my boss throws in a baby doll or something for me to save." Lan Zhan is horrified by the implication. He is loyal to Wei Ying in all respects!

in canon they butted heads a bit but in this one lwj sees wwx and literally speaks to him once and wwx immediately has his undying devotion, which doesn't hit as well as the journey they took in canon but it IS funny

Mian Mian is waiting behind him, readjusting one of her lamb hair clips,

mm is literally here to be A Woman lwj is suspected to harbor feelings for and she doesn't even get any lines, but it's cute that the author put in this little detail about her name and its relation to lambs. I don't think I've seen that too much

Part of Lan Zhan's lost hope. Wei Ying's far too lovely for Lan Zhan to just ask for his number. There'd need to be flowers, a helicopter ride, a big heart dug into the sand with "Would you marry me?" written in big letters. Lan Zhan doesn't have the money or connections to accomplish any of that, so he tells himself it's enough to have the chlorine smell permeating half his closet.

also i really love when authors capture lwj's teenage dramatics

That's where they still are, Mingjue rehydrating while Lan Huan looks two laps away from an ER visit. "Yes," Lan Zhan says. “That’s my brother.” "Does he know about the rec swim hours? That might be…uh, more his speed." At this point, Lan Zhan questions if pools in general are Lan Huan's speed. "He's aware.”

most of the comedy comes from lxc being absolutely shit at swimming, but it works for me. I love incompetence comedy. usually.

He must have people asking him out every week with his droplet-laced lashes

his what

He'll never leave here, never take his AP exams or graduate high school. The restroom is his home now.

what did I say about charmingly dramatic teenage lwj

Mingjue plays sax in an improv jazz group.

of course he does...sexiest most powerful instrument for the sexiest most powerful character

They're from rival schools...and school spirit must mean a lot to him. Why did Lan Zhan ever think this could work out?

DRAMATICS

[ao3feed-xicheng]

all this people think loves for show but i would die for you in secret

by catastrophic_blues "If you don't get up, I'm going to tell Jin Zixuan and Zewu-Jun about the time you overheard Madam Jin and Madam Yu arranging a marriage between their kids, and you thought it was about Jin Zixuan and you." Wei Wuxian has his ever annoying shit-eating grin while he says it, very slowly, deliberately grating Jiang Wanyin's feeble patience until none is left. "Wei Wuxian. Don't you fucking dare." Or that one time Jiang Wanyin misheard about Jiang Yanli's engagement to Jin Zixuan; panicked and lamented about it for a whole day. So the clandestine meetings, stolen gazes, secret letters and gifts between him and Lan Xichen all for nought? -- Okay so this was supposed to be a one-shot crack fic because it was based on one live action meme about wwx teasing jc about that one time he thinks jin zixuan and him might be engaged but it turns out it was really jyl and jzx 😭 but XiCheng wasnt my OTP for no reason, cuz it kind of gets out of hand and i ended up writing about their whole relationship journey from how they first met to their marriage 😭 i regret nothing 😆 Words: 4268, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Jiang Cheng | Jiang Wanyin, Lan Huan | Lan Xichen, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Jiāng Fēngmián, Jiang Yanli, Jīn Zǐxuān, Lán Qǐrén, Nie Huaisang, Jīn Líng | Jīn Rúlán Relationships: Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén Additional Tags: Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Crack Treated Seriously, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Love Letters, Teenagers, Established Relationship, Established Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín/Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, lots of flashbacks, lxc see jc as little brother first, jc has major crush with lxc first, no beta I have no friends, typical no one dies, Slice of Life, xicheng four years age gap via https://ift.tt/3VxcrRv

[seventypercentvodka]

Lxc had all those valid points from his point of view but mostly he was having a big brother moment, If wanji was my precious little brother I would judge wwx so fuckin harsh too. Like, lxc couldn't even convince wanji not to get himself flayed and raise wwx child. He knows he doesn't have a shot at persuading him to leave wwx, it's only because of wanji filial love to him and their uncle that he hasn't eloped yet (what lxc doesn't know about what wanji did when he and wwx were teens can't hurt him) And wwx always has good intentions with fucking awful executions, it's totally reasonable for lxc to lose his shit a little. His baby brother has been in love with a criminal for decades and then after everything that happens with jgy... Good God someone needs to give this man a hug

you know what, wwx may be a dick but when lxc calls him the biggest mistake lwj ever made only to have jgy’s entire,, jgy-ness outed,, wwx says nothing. wwx is just sitting there smiling,,, vibing,,, enjoying his new life and just being in love with lwj. meanwhile lxc is sitting there like haha my brother fell in love with a demonic cultivator who fucked him over and i’ve hated wwx for that for like 15 years now and it turns out that my best bro, the tightest of dudes, jgy has not only been co-ordinating evil plans with a demonic cultivator who sucked way more than wwx did but also royally fucked over nearly everybody except me and wwx isn’t actually anywhere near as bad as i thought he was. and wwx is just turning to him like (-: can i call you brother now that lan zhan and i are getting married and lxc is sweating because what sort of flower arrangement is gonna suit is apology to wwx.

[annalacerda17]

It boggles me that some people are still insisting WWX was oblivious because he didn't figure his and LWJ's feelings sooner, or that LWJ was a failed WWX in the past because he didn't make his feelings clear, etc.

When wangxian first met, they were teenagers. I think a lot of people forget that and demand an unreasonable level of maturity and even foresight from literal teenagers who just had their first crush and haven't had the time to figure out what their feelings are and what to do with it.

To begin with, LWJ didn't want WWX to know about his feelings because he thought WWX didn't like men - as WWX himself had told him. His actions didn't hint at anything either, unless you're LXC. And even LXC didn't know at first. In the novel, when WWX was a guest disciple at the Cloud Recesses LXC had seemed supportive of a friendship between wangxian, but didn't seem to know that LWJ actually had a crush. At least LXC's later actions indicate that he only found out at a later time. If even the people closest to LWJ didn't know, how could WWX? People seem to forget that despite the great admiration WWX had for LWJ and his crush on him, the two of them didn't actually know each other very well in WWX's first life. When they had the chance to spend more time together in WWX's second life, it only took a few months for them to get married, so I'd say they actually got together pretty quickly.

It's romantic and all to say that they took 13+ years to get together, but we can't forget that the reason for that is that WWX was literally dead during those 13 years, not secretly pinning from afar while trying and failing to figure out his and LWJ's feelings.

We should also remember that WWX died in his early 20s. WWX and LWJ met as teens. It's the most normal thing in the world to be a something of a mess at this age. It's already impressive that they weren't even more of a mess, considering the circumstances.

We can't foget that even before the SSC started, the tensions had been pretty high for more than a year. Later, with the war and it's aftermath, they didn't even have time to get their shit together before the world turned against WWX and the Wen Remnants. On top of everything, WWX had been dealing with the loss of his golden core at the time. With all that going on, not only they didn't have many chances to meet, WWX also had very little time to spend contemplating his feelings for his acquaintance. We, as readers, have the privilege of knowing LWJ is the novel's male lead, so we read his words and actions with that bias. WWX, however, didn't have that privilege.

WXX did the absolute best anyone could have under his circumstances. LWJ also did the best he could at the time - considering he was operating on incomplete information and wasn't actually in a position to do much. At most, he could've made a personal difference by standing by WWX sooner, but then, he would likely have died with him. LWJ himself had to figure out what to do with his feelings, which he believed were unrequited, in the middle of a catastrophic situation that kept escalating every time he blinked and had no solution. Where he was powerless to change anything, and where the person he loved and his family stood on opposite sides, all the while operating on incomplete information. When he was in his early 20s.

In any case, they both did the best they could, at an impressively young age. To want them to have time to figure out their personal feelings on top of that is asking for too much, inmy opinion.

[gloriousmonsters]

seriously, I love that the prime and possibly sole piece of evidence that xue yang and su she not only interacted, but probably interacted relatively often, is that su she reacts to wwx making corpses climb up his legs with a ‘seriously, this amateur shit?’ attitude. we’re told that coming from the Lan pretty much assigns you mild to to moderate mysophobia and sms as a teen freezes up at being threatened by water ghouls, sms as an adult reacts to Night Of The Living Dead happening directly underneath him with essentially an eyeroll. look MAYBE you could assume he’s just fought other demonic cultivators, but what joy does that bring me? very little. the idea that ever since sms got introduced to local Horrible Teen and Unfortunately, Genius Researcher xue yang he’s been dealing with xy thoughtfully* and kindly** trying to rid him of his mild mysophobia/tendency to freeze up?*** loads of joy. loads.

*citation needed

**citation needed

***look, that was the byproduct of having corpses hide under the table and grab him every time he had to stop by the research facility, so clearly he should be grateful!

[korpikorppi]

FANFICS!

Thought I'd make a post, basically just a list of links, for the Untamed - Mo dao zu shi fanfics I've read and enjoyed. I'll be adding to this post (and reblogging this) every once in a while, and will also add a link to this in my pinned post. I will also move the previously posted content behind a cut at every update, so this will not get horribly long.

So, without further ado and in no particular order, here we go!

*Update August 25th*

Tumblr told me this post has reached the allowed maximum length, so this will be continued in FANFICS! Part Two 🙂.

*Update August 6th*

A stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke

Wangxian, mature, words: 180 247, chapters: 24/24

arranged marriage, alternate universe - canon divergence

When the entire cultivation world turns against Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng comes up with a plan to save him and arranges a marriage between his brother and the Second Jade of Lan, Lan Wangji.

Nothing gold can stay by rikke

Wangxian, mature, words: 10 353, chapters: 1/1

alternate universe - canon divergence

Before Wen Chao can throw him into Yiling Burial Mounds, Lan Wangji finds Wei Wuxian.

Nothing you confess by PorcupineGirl

Wangxian, teen and up, words: 31 083, chapters: 6/6

alternate universe - soulmates, soulmate-identifying marks, POV alternating, golden core reveal, depressed Wei Wuxian, PTSD, Jiang Cheng & Lan Wangji friendship, friendship may be too strong a word, more like allies who are gonna love the shit outta post-Burial-Mounds WWX whether he likes it or not, hurt/comfort, recovery

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have both been told since childhood that if you are lucky enough to have a soulmate, a red string will appear on your wrist the day you meet them. This is common knowledge.

What nobody ever told them, likely because nobody knew, is that if your soulmate loses their golden core, you can feel it happening.

A shared plate by yukla

Wangxian, teen and up, words: 25 814, chapters: 6/6

post-canon, pining, getting together, a little bit epistolary, let Wei Ying heal agenda, food as a representation of love and belonging, tentative Yunmeng shuangjie reconciliation, oh god the yearning

"Through the window, boats drift in a mirror of the yawning sky, fringed with wide lotus leaves and the pale yellow blossoms that grow year-round. Geese call in the distance. And there again, drifting through the air—the scent of sesame shaobing, and hot dry noodles, and the sizzle-pop of frying oil. Like the heat-haze of summer, softened with time. Like the taste of home."

Or, four meals Wei Wuxian shares during his travels, and one he shares with his soulmate.

Then there's no one there by etymologyplayground

Wangxian, teen and up, words: 12 694, chapters 1/1

missing scene, hurt/comfort, talking, fluff and angst, unresolved romantic tension, heavier on the angst than it is on the fluff but it gets pretty dang tender, literal sleeping together, cuddling & snuggling

"Oh, and speaking of pretty boys," Nie Huaisang says, turning back to Wei Wuxian's unconscious form, "Don't get me started on poor Second Master Lan. He's pathetic without you, you should really see him. He's practically in tears without you here to flirt with him! He's mooning over your corpse like —"

"Nie Huaisang, that's enough," Lan Wangji snaps. He struggles with what to address first; the worst is that, "Wei Ying is not a corpse. Don't say such things."

"Sorry," Nie Huaisang says. "But sitting there silently and willing him to wake up isn't going to help, Hanguang-Jun. You want him to wake up, right? Then tell him why!" He whacks Lan Wangji's shoulder lightly with his fan.

Or, Wei Wuxian is unconscious for three days after the fall of Qishan Wen. His friends worry themselves sick.

Night breezes seem to whisper by cqlorphan

Wangxian, explicit, words: 16 706, chapters: 2/2

dom/sub undertones, sex curse, fuck or die, case fic, getting together, under-negotiated kink, but like. for reasons, love confessions, fluff and smut, post-canon, mutual pining, hurt/comfort

"All the hair on the back of Lan Wangji’s neck stands straight. He finds himself pressed between the trunk of the tree at his front, and Wei Wuxian at his back. Wei Wuxian has a firm grip on the wrist which carries Bichen, and on his left upper arm. It feels... proprietary. Suddenly, and entirely inappropriately, a very old, very shameful memory surfaces, of a long-ago dream from which he had woken sweaty and shaking. The place on his chest where the resentment pierced him begins to throb painfully. Wei Wuxian breathes heavily against his ear for half a moment longer, and Lan Wangji feels himself flush."

Or; reuniting with Wei Wuxian after their year apart is complicated by a mysterious and deadly curse.

And his wanting grows teeth by yukla

Wangxian, teen and up, words: 25 398, chapters: 1/1

AU in canon setting, LWJ is a traveling cultivator, WWX is the adopted son of a village chief, angst, pining, the smallest bit of mystery, typical jiang family dynamics, warmth and belonging and the conflict between duty and desire, slight elements of horror

"I travel so I may do my duty as a cultivator. Not in order to make acquaintances.”

Wei Wuxian huffs in amusement. “Ehhh, Lan-daozhang, no way. I would’ve thought that a friendly guy like you would have friends in every region!”

Lan Wangji’s jaw clenches.

Or; in the dead of winter, traveling cultivator Lan Wangji gets snowed in at a remote mountain village, falls in love with the chief’s adopted son, and stumbles upon a dark secret that is decades in the making.

Fanart that made me read this fic.

*Update July 29th*

Beneath six layers of silk by darkredloveknot (enheduane)

Wangxian, explicit, words: 12 551, chapters: 1/1

post-canon, canon compliant, getting together, confessions, curses, embarrassment, vulnerability, Lan Zhan is hopelessly in love, dirty talk, hand jobs, angst and fluff and smut, honesty, communication

While exorcising a haunting, Lan Wangji gets cursed with a brand of honesty, and is forced to speak his every thought out loud.

Crack me open, pour you out by Tenillypo

Wangxian, explicit, words: 16 405, chapters: 3/3

post-canon, chief cultivator Lan Wangji, cursed Lan Wangji, protective Wei Wuxian, oblivious Wei Wuxian, misunderstandings, mutual pining, love confessions, angst with a happy ending, eventual smut, porn with feelings, cultivation discussion conferences

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying says carefully, "do you truly not know you have been speaking?"

Lan Wangji claps a hand to his mouth and, to his horror, feels his mouth opening to answer despite having no intention to do so. Clamping it shut again takes a great effort."

Or, the one where Lan Wangji can't stop talking, and a mild amount of chaos ensues.

Twelve moons and a fortnight by stiltonbasket

Wangxian & basically the whole gang, general, words: 290 322: chapters: 51/51

humor, post-canon fix-it, long-distance relationship, epistolary, love letters, family feels, ft. the yunmeng bros being bros, and the junior ducklings being precious, teenage romance, adoption, parenthood, politics, case fic, plot, fluff and angst, gratuitious social reform, as expected when wwx is left in charge of a government without supervision, junmeng jiang sect, sect leader wei wuxian, slow burn, the burn is very fast actually wwx is just clueless, worldbuilding, weddings

"Let me get this straight. You really want me to stand in for you while you help Jin Ling settle in at Koi Tower?" 

"Who else do I have?" Jiang Cheng returns. "Father trained you to serve as my deputy, didn't he? And don't say you don't remember, or I'll break your legs."

"Well, yes," Wei Wuxian manages. "Uh. I'll just let Lan Zhan know I'll be at Lotus Pier until you're back at home, then." 

Or, the one where Wei Wuxian spends the year before his wedding as Yunmeng Jiang's acting sect leader, and the cultivation world's greatest love story finds its happy ending with the help of three juniors, a teenage romance, and one very involved (and exasperated) younger brother.

Far away you are by cqlorphan

Wangxian, explicit, words: 17 358, chapters: 4/4

post-canon, getting together, misunderstandings, cleared up by juniors ensemble, fluff and smut, explicit consent, blow jobs, anal fingering, multiple orgasms, with a little angst. as a treat

"Suddenly, it snaps into place. The weary way Lan Zhan has been holding himself is suddenly cast in a new, much more distressing light. Somebody is responsible for it, a real live, horrible, blind, stupid person. The combination of guilt, sadness, and anger that sets in all at once is hard to contain. Lingering wisps of resentment that remain from the night-hunt flock to him, like calling to like.

All four boys stare at him with wide eyes.

"Wei-qianbei,” Sizhui says. “You look...um…”

"Scary,” Zizhen breathes, beaming.

"Who has rejected Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Or, during one of his visits to the Cloud Recesses, the juniors strike a blow to Wei Wuxian's certainty that his feelings for Lan Wangji are one-sided.

The kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser

Wangxian, mature, words: 38 754: chapters: 1/1

alternate universe - canon divergence, set after the yiling date, sick child

When A-Yuan gets sick and Wen Qing doesn't have the supplies she needs to properly treat him, Wei Wuxian can only think of one place to go for help.

Not yet (there as needed) by sunrise_and_death

Wangxian & Lan Sizhui & Jin Ling, teen and up, words: 13 194, chapters: 1/1

post-canon, juniors, family feels, family bonding, yearning, Wei Wuxian and Lan Sizhui figuring out wtf their relationship is, dramatic revelations, Jin Ling being the contrary lil bean he is, all the juniors thinking Wei Wuxian is the greatest thing to ever happen to them

"As always, he arrives with no forewarning. One second, Lan Sizhui and the others are struggling against the hordes of resentful spirits created by some villagers’ accidental disruption of an ancient burial ground—far more spirits than had been initially reported, far more than they had been prepared for—and the next, he’s there, striding fearlessly into the mix, the sound of Chenqing piercing the air.

Or: A meditation on family and the merits of communication, courtesy of Lan Sizhui.

*Update July 24th*

Look not with the eyes by Spodumene

Wangxian, general, words: 28 193, chapters: 1/1

case fic, attempt at humor, fluff and humor, love confessions, idiots in love, there was only one bed, post-canon, canon-typical violence, original character death(s)

Wei Wuxian returns from his travels to join Lan Wangji on a routine night hunt, but when things take an unexpected turn, Wei Wuxian will have to fight for what he's really looking for.

蓝色生死恋 A blue love (to live and to die for) by yiqie

Wangxian, mature, words: 24 898, chapters: 1/1

graphic depictions of violence, post-canon, wedding fic, psychological trauma, empathy, Wangxian are engaged yet somehow still yearning: it's more likely than you think

"Wei Wuxian separates his life, without noticing, into three chapters. Some days, they’re hard to look at, hard to read, harder to know he wrote all of them himself. Some of the words are in blood."

Postcanon cql+novel verse where lwj and wwx conduct empathy so lwj can see the good, the bad, and the ugly of wwx’s descent arc as yiling laozu.

Bailuobo by PhoenixRisesOnceMore

Wangxian, teen and up, words: 1 670, chapters: 1/1

post-canon, the Cloud Recesses rabbits, Wei Wuxian’s emotional baggage, canon compliant, established relationship, grief/mourning, post-canon life in the Cloud Recesses, the effects of replacing your golden core with the resentment of the dead, rabbit funerals, best boy Sizhui, animal death

"There is a thing that lurks at the corner of his mind, disturbing the flow of his thought; it is something that he is certain he used to be able to avoid, leaving him forgetful and free. When life came to find him again he thought death might have freed him of it for good. But that wasn’t true. And today, for whatever reason, it has punched its way into the world and taken the form of a white rabbit with a black splotch on its face."

In the Cloud Recesses after the events of canon, Wei Wuxian finds himself confronting life, death, grief, and regret at an impromptu rabbit funeral.

Song by WithBroomBefore

My earlier post on this fic.

Part 1 of The Quartet

WWX & LWJ & JC & JZX, Wangxian, teen and up, words: 41 215, chapters: 14/14

alternate universe - canon divergence, friends to lovers, first kiss, Wei Wuxian's canonical comfort with the prospect of his own death, hurt/comfort, Jin Zixuan makes friends, canon-typical violence, temporary major character death, Jiang Cheng keeps his golden core, fix-it, minor character death, murder road trip, implied sexual content, platonic group soulbonding, Sunshot Campaign, telepathy, found family, minor Jiang Yanlí/Wen Qíng, nonbinary Nie Huaisang

"Wei Wuxian almost does not catch the name of the song."

In which the aftermath of the cave battle involves just enough communication to make a difference.

Harmony by WithBroomBefore

Part 2 of The Quartet

WWX & LWJ & JC & JZX, background Wangxian, teen and up, words: 27 753, chapters: 9/9

Sunshot Campaign, alternate universe - canon divergence, platonic group soulbond, canon-typical violence, extremely temporary major character death, minor character death, siblings, sworn brothers, family, fix-it, murder road-trip part 2, aroace Jin Zǐxuan, nonbinary Nie Huaisang, everyone/therapy, minor Jiang Yanlí/Wen Qíng, background Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, background Jiang Cheng/Nie Mingjue

The soulbonded team of Jin Zixuan, Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, and Lan Wangji return to Qishan to finish the Sunshot Campaign.

Direct sequel to Song.

*Posted July 23rd*

爱不释手 Never let me go by yigie

Wangxian, explicit, words: 68 713, chapters: 1/1

graphic depictions of violence, the Junior quartet, all the clan leaders, literally so many OCs, case fic, blood and injury, demons, body horror, mystery, the intrinsic horniness of wound tending, yearning, wangxian get-together, cql post-canon

"Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped."

To arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag

Wangxian, explicit, words: 34 900, chapters: 24/24

angst with a happy ending, soulmates, chronic illness, not actually unrequited love, hanahaki disease, but as a curse, Lan Wangji says fuck, feelings realization, obsession with interior design, fluff and smut, family angst, Lan Xichen says fuck, wedding, Lan Qiren was in love once too, sect politics

"Lan WangJi is not sure he can bear meeting with a matchmaker yet again, but at the same time, if he wasn’t going to care deeply about the person he was going to marry, he could just as well have settled for Wei Wuxian six years ago ."

or, Lan WangJi goes to a Discussion Conference and his soulmate is there. His soulmate, whom he doesn't love.

The vermillion ribbon by Unforth

My earlier post on this fic.

Wangxian, explicit, words: 233 368, chapters: 50/50

graphic depictions of violence, alternate canon, Wen Clan Wei Wuxian, minor character death, off-screen torture, implied/referenced rape/non-con (not between LWJ and WWX), politics, Sunshot Campaign, slow burn, protective Wen Qíng, enemies to friends to lovers, marriage of convenience, hurt/comfort, love letters, mutual pining, panic attacs, PTSD, aftermath of torture, suicidal thoughts, miscommunication, blow jobs, anal sex, loss of virginity, light bondage, mildly dubious consent, angst with a happy ending, background Jiang Cheng/Wen Qíng, background Nie Huaisang/Wen Níng, background Jiang Yanlí/Jin Zixuan, background Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen

When Wen Chao and his entourage arrived in Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji saw that all the things he'd been told about the arrogance of the Wen clan were true. Wen Qing was aloof, Wen Ning was distant, and Wei Wuxian?

Disrespectful, cocky, self-centered Wei Wuxian was the worst.

Lead me on through by mrsronweasley

Wangxian, explicit, words: 54 673, chapters 4/4

alternate universe, arranged marriage, practice kissing, practice other things, horny boys in love, questionable logic, questionable choices, they're dumb but cute

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

And I will go this way by detention_notes

Wangxian, teen and up, words: 24 552, chapters: 10/10

romance, feelings realization, love letters, epistolary, mutual pining, slow burn, drunken flirting, implied sexual content, fluff and humor, marriage

"Ah, what else to say...this will be a quick letter, as I want to send it off before I head out in the morning. Of course there’s too much to express—especially when I lack the gorgeous poetry of your voice, which you’ll be pleased to know has prevented my peaceful rest on many a night. It is wrong enough that you lay beyond the edge of the clouds, and I lay alone under feverish rain. I can only hope that I also disrupt your evenings, else life would be far too unfair.

Your Wei Ying "

Between parting and reuniting on a mountainside, wei ying and lan zhan exchange love letters.

Loyaulte me lie by Justkeeptrekkin

Xiyao, explicit, words: 72 246, chapters: 6/6

slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, alternate universe - canon divergence, canonically awful JGS, Meng Yao makes friends, smut, offscreen Wangxian

Meng Yao arrives at the Cloud Recesses as Nie-gongzi's attendant. Zewu-Jun allows him to stay for the lectures. There's something about this place, and the man who rules it, that triggers an irrevocable change in him.

And so, Meng Yao sees two paths unfold before him: one that leads him towards power, and one that leads him somewhere completely different.

All the depths of me, real by northofallmusic (tofsla)

Part 1 of All the depths of us

Wangxian, explicit, words: 15 508, chapters: 1/1

alternate universe - canon divergence, CQL ep 35-40, getting together, rough sex, tender sex, canon-typical lack of self-preservation

Wei Wuxian is dealing with a curse a little worse than he'd like to let on, and Lan Zhan is a little less than willing to let it slide.

Balancing acts by northofallmusic (tofsla)

Part 2 of All the depths of us

Wangxian, mature, words: 646, chapters: 1/1

pre-relationship, alternate POV, unresolved sexual tension, misunderstandings, Lan Wangji's lingering fear of his own desires

Wei Ying does not know that Lan Wangji is insatiable.

Alternate POV on a failed seduction attempt from "all the depths of me, real"

Hunters seeking solid ground by Attila

Wangxian, explicit, words: 23 633, chapters 1/1

canon compliant, discussion of canon character death, hurt/comfort, nightmares, bed sharing, yearning, getting together

“Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”

[westiec]

June 17: Chengxian 💜🖤💕

childhood friends to lovers/QPPs, ace Jiang Cheng, bi & aro Wei Wuxian, modern AU

(A/N: If you're wondering about a certain other someone, he will have a wonderful, full life of his own in Suzhou in this AU but is not in this story. 💙 There are some brief mentions of offscreen ace-antagonism, not by anyone we know.)

Read on ao3

Jiang Cheng had been Wei Ying's best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

Okay. Well, not quite his entire life, but certainly since Wei Ying’s parents moved to California when he was little little, which was about as far back as Wei Ying could remember anyway. Wei Ying’s baba and Jiang Cheng’s baba had grown up in Wuhan together and been best friends when they were kids, so naturally, when Wei Ying’s family moved into the same neighborhood as the Jiangs, it made perfect sense for Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng to become best friends too.

It was Jiang Cheng who had taught Wei Ying that he didn't have to be afraid of dogs, by introducing him to Princess, Jasmine, and Lil' Love. Lil' Love lived up to her name, coming and quietly sitting in all her fluffy glory on Wei Ying’s lap every time he went over to play.

It was also Jiang Cheng who Wei Ying got drunk with for the first time. They snuck booze from the cabinet where Wei Ying’s parents kept it and laughed at the faces each other made with every shot until they stopped tasting the harsh burn, and then laughing more just because.

(Wei Ying’s mom had not laughed, not at the time, when the two teens had been sick as anything the next morning, but instead made them a gloriously greasy late breakfast and gave them lots of advice about proper hydration.

Then she told Jiang Cheng’s mom and let her scold them.)

It was Jiang Cheng who came out first, their first semester in college, when he told Wei Ying he didn't think he wanted to have sex with anyone, ever, and asked if Wei Ying thought that meant no one would ever want to date him. Wei Ying hugged him tight and told him he didn't know about everyone out there, but he knew Jiang Cheng was the best guy in the world and would be an awesome boyfriend, and he'd fight anyone who said differently.

Jiang Cheng found a group on campus for third culture LBGT kids, and Wei Ying went with him, as a supportive ally.

Which was how Wei Ying figured out that he was not just a supportive ally.

In listening to the others talk about orientation and identity and attraction and cultural expectations, Wei Ying realized that what he'd always assumed was normal—finding all kinds of people physically attractive, regardless of their gender—was actually his bisexuality. So that was kind of cool.

"So yeah, now we can be queer together!" Wei Ying said, when he excitedly shared his newfound realization with Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng snorted. "Yeah, 'all' and 'nothing,'" he joked.

It was Jiang Cheng who'd helped him practice what to say to his parents when he wanted to change his major at the end of sophomore year, and Jiang Cheng who reminded him to eat and sleep and "take a fucking break, Wei Ying," those next couple semesters when he took way too many hours so he wouldn't have to rack up a whole extra year's worth of student loans to finish his new degree plan.

It was Jiang Cheng who graduated first, on a gorgeous blue-skyed sunny day in May, and Jiang Cheng who suggested Wei Ying keep living with him at his new apartment, so he wouldn't have to try to find a one-semester lease until he finished in December.

(They renewed the lease together every time.)

Jiang Cheng ribbed him playfully each time Wei Ying met someone new, but he was always there each times things fizzled out after a few months for reasons that never quite made sense to Wei Ying.

Jiang Cheng occasionally dated too, and Wei Ying was glad he never did have to fight anybody—though he did drive Jiang Cheng to the emergency room the time he came home with split knuckles from punching a guy who, "seemed to think I didn't know my own mind about certain things."

But dating sucked for everybody, right? It wasn't like Wei Ying or Jiang Cheng were in any hurry to settle down and do the whole spouse and kids thing or whatever. Wei Ying tried to imagine it and just... couldn't, though the image of Jiang Cheng with a baby was admittedly pretty cute.

~

It was not Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Yanli, a few months after she proposed to her girlfriend and they started planning their wedding, who Wei Ying finally asked, "Yanli-jie, how does a person decide someone else is their person?"

Jiang Yanli looked across the room to where Jiang Cheng was showing her soon-to-be-wife how to put side spin on a billiards ball and smiled. "I think you just know," she said. "You meet someone and you get to know them, spend time together, then one day you realize you love them and want to build the rest of your life with them."

Wei Ying wrinkled his nose. "I dunno if it works that way for me. Just some random person? I've never met anyone I can imagine wanting to live with all the time. Well, besides—huh..." he cut off suddenly and darted a look over at Jiang Yanli, who just calmly sipped her drink.

"Have you ever told him that?" she asked, after a moment where Wei Ying reassessed his entire life and dating history. "I think he might appreciate hearing it."

"I... huh. Yanli-jie, you're kinda blowing my mind here," he complained.

"I gathered," she said wryly, before fixing him with a smile that made all the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Of course, I trust," she told him, "that I do not need to explain to you of all people how very dearly I hold my didi's happiness and well-being."

He swallowed and raised three fingers in the salute he'd used ever since the summer that—hah—he and Jiang Cheng had decided as kids that they would make their own oath of brotherhood like the heroes of their favorite show. "I, Wei Ying, swear to you that I would kick my own ass before I did anything to hurt him."

Jiang Yanli leaned over to knock her shoulder against his and nodded. "That's what I thought."

~

Turned out, dating Jiang Cheng didn't suck at all.

It felt easy in a way Wei Ying’s past dates never had, less like trying to keep up with a game whose rules everybody knew except him, more like... well, like spending time with his best friend in the whole world, but on purpose. There was also a tension in the back of Wei Ying’s mind that seemed to have lifted, though he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was that had gone.

It was Jiang Cheng who helped him figure it out.

"I think it's that now I'm able to count on this. On us," he said, when Wei Ying brought it up. "Before, whenever you went out with someone new, I wondered if this would be the time you'd find someone to fall in love with and leave me behind."

"Aww, Chengcheng! I would never!"

Jiang Cheng huffed and rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were pink. "Well, I know that now," he said, a pleased little smile breaking through his attempts at a scowl.

"As long as you're sure—" Wei Ying began, still getting used to thinking about himself with the word "aromantic." Still a so very sure that Jiang Cheng deserved to be fallen in love with.

"Hey!" Jiang Cheng cut him off. "None of that. I know you. And I know you don't see it this way, but I personally think it's pretty damn romantic that you choose to love me, on purpose."

"I simply have exquisite taste in life partners," Wei Ying sniffed, embarassed the way he always got when Jiang Cheng declared something he'd done "romantic."

"You do," Jiang Cheng agreed. "Someone told me a long time ago I was the best guy in the world and would make an awesome boyfriend, and that he would fight anyone who said differently."

Wei Ying laughed. "That's you and your sister I've promised to kick my own ass if I ever break your heart, then. Guess I'll just have to keep you forever."

"Damn right, you will," Jiang Cheng agreed, grinning smug and happy and breathtakingly beautiful. Wei Ying leaned across the couch to give him a sweet, closed-mouth kiss—the kind Jiang Cheng had shyly admitted he actually did like, a lot—and smiled too, at how lucky he'd gotten to be with his best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

🖤💜

Today's (extremely long!) thread was inspired by this WONDERFUL art of ace Jiang Cheng and bi & aro Wei Ying! Go give Midori some love on Twitter!

I spent a nonzero amount of time googling to double check when various terms and flags came into vogue, so if you're wondering, WWX & JC were in college in the early 2000s, before the ace and aro flags were designed. By the time they get themselves figured out, they can get their cute wristbands.

...which, yes, means these dingdongs spent about a solid decade living together before realizing that was what they wanted to do forever. 😉

This also means Jiang Yanli and her unnamed wife here are getting married between when California started recognizing same-sex marriages in 2008 and the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling in 2015! THIS SHIT'S RECENT!!!

Happy Pride, thank you for reading, check out more LGBTQIA+ sweetness on my #PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost!

[chengxians]

back on my angst & breakup shit but. what if wangxian dated as teens. what if The Library(TM) actually led to a relationship??

i don’t think lwj knew what to do with his feelings as a teen. he didn’t really know what to do with them as an adult, so i imagine it was SO much worse as a teen. and wei “ehehe i might like men too” wuxian is so overwhelmed by the severity of lwj’s feelings. lwj’s devotion, because he’s young, turns into codependence, and wwx is Drowning.

he loves lwj. at least, he thinks he does. he’s only seventeen, though, and he’s — well, he’s always embodied the jiang sect principles. wwx is stifled, and he’s in love, and he wants to scream and run and maybe live in that cave where he and lwj defeated the snake tortoise.

when wwx confides in jyl, his heart sinks into his stomach. he feels guilty, like he’s betrayed lwj in some way, like he deserves his life falling apart. his shijie can only comfort him, and truly confirm the only solution wwx had thought of

the next day, wwx tries to talk about it with lwj. but being who he is, lwj doesn’t understand — he’s also only seventeen. he doesn’t know how to love just yet, and he doesn’t understand why wwx is unhappy. wwx is being showered in love, doted on — what is there to be unhappy with?

they can’t come to a compromise, they can’t communicate. maybe they weren’t ready to be together yet, or maybe ever. wwx cries himself to sleep in jc’s and jyl’s arms that night, mad at himself and lwj and the world.

later, when wwx turns to demonic cultivation after giving up his core — wwx is injured in the core-transfer process. maybe something had gone a little wrong, and wen qing had panicked, and had been forced to bring wwx somewhere else for healing. lwj had stumbled across them then, and had therefore learned the truth behind jiang cheng’s recovery.

lwj blames himself. he blames jiang cheng, as well, because clearly wwx had loved him more than he’d ever loved lwj, if he’d been willing to give up such an important part of himself.

maybe there’s a part of lwj that grows bitter as time passes. maybe he begs wwx to return to gusu with him for purely selfish reasons, and doesn’t even pretend to have other intentions. he does want wwx to heal, to stop demonic cultivation, but more than anything, lwj wants wwx to choose him again.

they’re older now, and maybe they can handle this like adults. but then he takes a glance across the clearing, and catches wwx looking back at him riddled with guilt. and maybe lwj’s chest is so full of grief that he can’t breathe.

when wwx dies, lwj crumbles. he’s standing next to jiang cheng when it happens, watching jc’s hand reach out towards the man they both loved as if he could possibly stop a qi deviation with a single human hand.

lwj is mad. mad at himself, at jiang cheng again, at wwx. lwj is not a crier, but he finds himself staring at the floor in gusu, the mats blurring as he thinks about all the things he never said.

rescuing a-yuan wasn’t really part of lwj’s plan. he didn’t particularly care about the kid at first, but it had been jc’s idea to dig through the wreckage. maybe jc was missing his sister, missing wwx, and had been desperate enough to ask the man who’d broken wwx’s heart for company.

whatever issues he and jiang cheng had worked themselves out in the bedroom, in their arguments, at the ledge where wwx’s soul had shattered. lwj didn’t love him, hadn’t wanted to, and it seemed to be mutual. there was simply nothing easier than grieving with another person.

lwj’s life continued, despite it all. a-yuan fell into the lan sect with ease, growing up well. he’d listen to the rules about 70% of the time, getting led astray by ljy the other 30% of the time. lwj had recognized the softness in a-yuan’s eyes when they first met jl, during one of jc’s many, many overnight visits to gusu. lwj had felt his soul sink at the thought of a-yuan ending up like him.

and then, with no warning, wei wuxian returns. jiang cheng drops to his knees when he learns, eighteen different emotions flashing through his eyes. nie huaisang cries with joy, and even lan xichen wears a smile. lwj doesn’t dare let himself hope for another chance.

and he doesn’t have to — wwx finds him first. clings to him, drags him about, hugs him and jiang cheng at the same time. wwx sobs when he sees a-yuan again, and sobs again when he learns that he’s taken ‘lan’ as a surname.

jyl isn’t there, and never will be again. wwx can’t undo that, and he can’t restart from scratch. wwx can’t take back the five centimeters that reviving stole from him, and he can’t change the political course of the world that he’d inadvertently started.

but he can start again. he can look at lwj without feeling his stomach drop out of his body, he can look at jc and feel something again, and he can look at lan sizhui, who managed to live througu everything. and perhaps, if not now then later, perhaps wwx can even try to love again.

but right now, wwx is alive, and lwj is there to remind him of that. maybe that’s all they need to think about at the moment.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 03

(Masterpost)(Previous Episode) 

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

 Wei Wuxian demonstrates the purple nurple technique of the Jiang Clan

Should’ve Used Trivago

The Jiang Clan’s reservation got cancelled while they were on the road, so they are going to wander around this small inn for hours being fussed about it, rather than trying another inn. Yes they say the other inns are all full but…so is this one, now. 

The Jin Clan sends an advance party to fancy up the inn for them.

Fuckboi Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian decides to use his considerable powers of prettiness to get them a room.  He drops some poetry on Mianmian and brazenly flirts with her before shifting to properly introducing himself and asking for a room. 

This actually works.

...until her boss shows up.

(Much much more after the cut!)

Worst Person // Best Jin

Jin ZIxuan is an ass and a snob. 

I guess we have to give him credit for having a beautiful sidekick and never hitting on her, given that his dad is a rapist and one of his half-brothers is (reputedly) a sex pest and the other half brother is (definitely) an incest perp. But I feel like it doesn’t take much to be the best Jin of his or his father’s generation.

The Jin folks are snobs and talk about how great their fancy and expensive stuff is. It’s an interesting contrast with true connoisseur Nie Huaisang, who loves everything that is fine and beautiful and can quote stacks of poetry off the top of his head, but is not even a little bit of a snob. 

This Tea Smells Like Farts

Ok, let’s talk about generation names in the Jin clan. Ru is the name for Jin Ling’s generation, hence his courtesy name Rulan. The name for the current generation is apparently Zi (子), because both Zixuan and his jerk cousin Zixun have that as their name.  Sect Leader Jin Guangshan would seem to be using the generation name Guang, but then names his son Jin Guangyao so…the whole system breaks down. 

Anyway, my point here is that even considering generation names, if I had a baby and named it Zixuan, and my sister-in-law promptly had a baby and named it Zixun, I would slap her. 

Find you a lover who does not make you feel like this 

Jin Zixuan is mildly intrigued by his betrothed, and expresses it by being rude to her in front of Wei Wuxian, starting a chain of events that will culminate with Wen Ning’s fist going all the way through Jin Zixuan’s chest.

Side Note: Look at these young Jiang Brothers and their casual shoulder hugs. Sigh.

Wei Wuxian’s Combat PlayBook

When Wei Wuxian wants to throw down, he starts with smack talk, moves along to boundary crossing, then to direct threats, and then brings out a weapon if he hasn’t won already. 

Here he starts shit with Jin Zixuan by complaining at him for taking up too much space and having too many sycophants.  Then he goes for the unwelcome shoulder touch. 

Having been sufficiently provocative to get someone to draw a sword and threaten him with physical violence, he shifts to formal verbal sparring. 

This gets the other guy to back down, because even at this age no-one actually wants to tangle with Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian gets to claim the moral advantage, although he still doesn’t get to keep his hotel room. 

Actually Not A Fan of My Sister’s Betrothal

Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli have the first of many, many moments of heterosexual ineptitude together. Wei Wuxian quickly rescues them.

Hi, I’m Young Master Cockblock.

Neither of the boys understands what Yanli sees in Zixuan and neither do I, at this juncture. He does improve later after multiple beatings from Wei Wuxian.

This Is The Day Your Life Will Surely Change

Yanli’s encounter in the Inn is the first step toward the inexorable end of the three of them as a unit, although it’s still a long ways off. They are all growing up and she and Wei Wuxian are both going to fall in love at summer camp, like in a 1980s teen movie but without the virginity betting (presumably). 

Meanwhile poor Jiang Cheng is going to be swept along just trying to keep up with events, which becomes the story of his life for the next two decades.

Welcome to Transylvania

We meet Wen Ruohan. He is boring and he sucks. Also I’m summarizing the Transylvania parts out of order because they break up the rhythm of the story. And are boring and suck.

We meet Xue Yang. He seems nice.

Wen Ruohan’s living room is like a shitty nightclub where everyone is too drunk to dance except Xue Yang.

Dee Jay: Undead undead undead, Bela Lugosi’s dead

[OP can’t get a video to embed in this post with looping enabled, so the alternate version of this joke has its own post right here. That will teach OP to get fancy.]

Anyhoo

We meet Wen Qing. She is the bestest most wonderful girl in the world but this isn’t actually when we find that out. 

Right now we just find out that she is absurdly pretty, that she loves her brother deeply, and that she is helping Wen Ruohan with his “take over the world by murdering cultivators” project. OKAY, PROBLEMATIC, BUT SHE IS THE BESTEST GIRL OKAY? 

Gatekeeping

The Jiang Clan don’t get another inn but they do manage to change into immaculate white robes while they’re out on the street, so - nice work, Jiang Clan. Be free!

They get stuck outside the gate because they don’t know that the secret to getting into Cloud Recesses is to set the gate guard on fire. 

Walking Thirst Trap Hanguang-Jun

Lan Wangji shows up and everyone except Yanli, who is already in love with Sir Golden Pants, makes thirst faces at him. Including Jiang Cheng tho he will never admit it. One girl in the background is actually biting her knuckle. 

Note: Lan Wangji knows exactly how fine he is. Look at his fucking hairstyle. 

He is sixteen years old. The only person in the entire cultivation world with fancier hair is Nie Mingjue, and that’s because he indulges his dìdi’s braiding hobby. 

Wei Wuxian loudly stage whispers that LWJ is their key to getting in and LWJ is is like, not fucking likely, person I didn’t glance at yet. 

But then Wei Wuxian says a smart cultivator thing about the puppet dude, and Lan Wangji turns around and has the first of many long mutual staring sessions with this boy he totally isn’t going to like at all.

Jiang Cheng has a bad feeling about the future: a 2-frame gif

Unrelated gardening note: the red-crack puppet is more commonly grown in Gusu and Dafan, while the black-line puppet is native to Yiling

I Must Arrange a Date with this Uninteresting Boy

The rest of the evening is a series of tests that Lan Wangji puts Wei Wuxian through. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know this and Lan Wangji probably doesn’t exactly know it either. 

First he sends WWX back to town to get the invitation. Yes, go get it. Not your entourage; YOU, talky person who thinks he can manipulate me and is smart and looks...intriguing. Go find it and come back. 

When Wei Wuxian complains, Lan Wangji silences him, which is literally the most boss move he could have used on smooth talking Wei Wuxian. 

You tried, Fuckboi.

Would you like to try some more because I think I would like you to try some more

Jiang Cheng is the Better Baby Brother

Sorry, he just is. Wei Wuxian is all about being taken care of and adoring Yanli without actually doing much for her. Jiang Cheng is the one who thinks about her feelings and giving her what she needs, even to the point of arranging that wedding rehearsal dinner so she can be with her favorite brother again -- the favorite who isn’t him, much as she also loves him. 

Date Test 1: Can You Get In.

Once Wei Wuxian is definitely gone, Lan Wangji shows up again and collects the entire retinue, guaranteeing that Wei Wuxian will be stranded outside the gate when he gets back.  LWJ doesn’t wait by the gate; he goes and waits up on the roof instead of going to bed or whatever else he’s supposed to be doing. Because he already knows the route Wei Wuxian will be taking. 

Wei Wuxian passes the “get in through the wards” test with no problem besides a minor headache and bent fingers. 

Is that Xiao Zhan’s hand or did they use a double-jointed hand model?

Date Test 2: Fight Me (Lan Wangji’s Combat Playbook)

As soon as Wei Wuxian shows up on the roof, Lan Wangji picks a fight with him. 

LWJ fights all the time; he’s perfectly comfortable when he’s fighting and it’s a good venue for him to express himself. His style is graceful and aggressive. 

Attack attack attack strike a pose, vogue, you know it.  

He starts by going all in on swordplay, but that doesn’t gain him the advantage; Wei Wuxian fends him off without ever drawing his sword. Which is probably the hottest thing that has ever happened to Lan Wangji in his young life.

Do you like me better when I’m horizontal? 

Next Lan Wangji deploys the pettiness by breaking WWX’s wine. Then when Wei Wuxian starts insulting him he upgrades to next level pettiness by dropping another silence spell, this time with the added bonus of preventing WWX from drinking. 

Wei Wuxian’s Combat Playbook, Redux

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is running his own fight routine, starting with a charm attack, which doesn’t work at all. 

Are you admiring the moon? 

He keeps trying to de-escalate for the first phase of their fight, until they reach a pause and he reflects that Lan Wangji has real skills. As soon as he makes that determination he goes on the offensive - with words. 

He very formally says he’s too busy to continue fighting, and turns away, which is a pretty solid roast when you say it to someone who’s been trying really hard to kick your ass. Then he continues defending easily until Lan Wangji uses the wine against him. 

At this point the gloves come off, with Lan Wangji lecturing Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian making ad hominem attacks, Lan Wangji forcibly shutting him up... 

...and then throwing him on the floor in front of Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen. 

Sincere Grief for the Death of our Colleague

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen feel really bad for their disciple who has been horribly turned into an undead creature. Ha ha j/k

Date Test 3: Face the Authorities

Lan Wangji gets to pick Wei Wuxian’s punishment.  This probably won’t awaken anything in him. 

Surprise surprise, Wei Wuxian actually passes the Authority test with flying colors. Lan Qiren doesn’t like him, but listens respectfully to his thoughts about the undead cultivator. And Lan Xichen clearly does like him.

When Wei Wuxian learns that Lan Wangji was nice to his sister, his entire demeanor changes, to such an enormous degree that Lan Wangji starts to run away.

He’s not going to let this boy (who has passed all the tests oh no he passed all the tests) make out with him in front of his family like he is obviously planning. 

But once again, Wei Wuxian’s cultivation knowledge captures Lan Wangji’s attention and breaks through his reserve. 

This Hardy Boys moment is the beginning of their cultivation partnership.

Lan Wangji is brave but is extremely constrained: by the authorities in his life and by his own rigid reserve. Wei Wuxian is brave and is also free. His companionship gives Lan Wangji an opportunity to engage with a much broader range of the things that interest him than he’s ever had before. 

After Wei Wuxian has been sent to bed, Lan Wangji stands outside and -- just as WWX had suggested at the beginning of their date/fight -- admires the moon, with an expression that’s anything but upset. 

Sure, sex is cool (probably), but have you ever analyzed a walking corpse with a beautiful boy in the moonlight?

If you’ve got your true honey Life can be pretty funny If you've got money, money to burn Rooty toot toot for the moon It's the biggest star I've ever seen

The Fine-as-Hell Brothers

Alone together, Lans Xichen and Wangji talk over the various things on their minds. 

Xichen: What the fuck is up with you? ...Rooftop fights and dropping spells on boys?

Wangji: You and uncle were ignoring me so I was making my own fun

Xichen: Yeah, we are dealing with this zombie situation; shit’s going to hit the fan

Wangji: what are you going to do about it?

Xichen: fuck-all

Wangji: Well, you can rely on me

Xichen: I totally do. So how about you get to know this Wei kid, he seems like a fun ride.

Wangji: *death glare*

Xichen: You know, since Dad died you’ve become even more uptight. I wonder if I’ve been too strict with you?

Wangji: Um, you think? 3000 fucking rules, dude. Fortunately I’m not going to go off the rails and fall in love with my polar opposite and cause havoc in the cultivation world or anything like that.

Xichen: good, me neither

Outtro

Writing prompt: Lan Xichen’s secret nightly letter to his Mom’s memory or spirit (your choice), in which he confides in her about his day. May be written in flute solo form. 

(As always if you use this prompt feel free to post a link to your fic in comments!)

Soundtrack: 1. This Is The Day by The The  2.  Bela Lugosi’s Dead by Bauhaus 3. Rooty Toot Toot for the Moon, Greg Brown version 4. Madonna, Vogue

Bonus: FineAsHell-Jun

Episode 04 Restless Rewatch coming soon!

[tanoraqui]

tanoraqui

Still thinking about an au in which for some reason WWX and the Wens are left to just live peacefully on the creepy death mountain - some detente wherein they don’t leave the mountain ever and in exchange no one tries to visit ever. Borders patrolled by corpses and sect disciples. So A-Yuan grows up raised kind of collectively but mostly by WWX and Wen Qing (the one most likely to tell WWX that he’s doing it wrong), and learns healing-focused spiritual cultivation AND demonic cultivation, and then at some point starts sneaking out to be the terrifying force of righteous kindness he was always going to be

tanoraqui

Righteous kindness but also, like, having picked up WWX’s cavalier confidence (or at least some of the ability to fake it) and Wen Qing’s general attitude of Do No Harm But Take No Shit

Like IMAGINE

tanoraqui

In this au, despite the strict border-by-mutual-agreement that’s the only reason somehow no ones tried to attack, LWJ sneaks in like one a year so he and WWX can make eyes at one another but not actually say anything ever, and Wen Qing and LXC are both EXHAUSTED bc both their dumb little brothers (WWX is a sibling by adoption now don’t @ me) mope for like a week after EVERY SINGLE TIME THIS HAPPENS, and it’s been /over ten years/.

tanoraqui

Meanwhile Jiang YanLi and JZX are FINE, and JYL somehow keeps up some sort of correspondence with WWX - or at least, he’s faithfully managed to send a birthday present for Jin Ling every single year, and every time, JYL makes her son write a thank-you note and bribes some series of people to get it smuggled back to Yiling

tanoraqui

...which means, honestly, that Jin Ling is probably wildly curious about his uncle the evil demonic cultivator kept trapped within the terrible ghost mountain by the forces of Good and Right, and WILL sneak out one day to try to visit. Optimally, obviously, at the same time Wen Yuan is sneaking out to see the non-mountain world

tanoraqui

The optimal plot is that Wen Yuan ropes Jin Ling into helping him set up WWX and LWJ, because he, too, is exasperated at this point, and Jin Ling ropes Wen Yuan into arranging like a parent trap reunion for the Jiang siblings, and obviously there are monsters and undead to complicate it all

tanoraqui

They kind of acquire Lan Jingyi somewhere, somehow. He’s having a blast

There is a 100% chance that the first Adult(TM) to find them is Wen Ning and they just kind of rope him into whatever the hell is going on at the time

...you know what, I think this is just a good au where JGY fucking died at some point

tanoraqui

Maybe someone threw him down the stairs again and he just broke his fucking neck. WWX is still vilified but between Jiang Cheng not really wanting to attack and Jiang (Jin?) Yanli being AGGRESSIVELY against it, and dragging JZX along with her, they’re left in peace.

tanoraqui

Oh man and Jin Ling has YOUNGER SIBLINGS in this...

Hey for u: Jiang Cheng/Wen Qing can accidentally happen while the Teens are trying to get everyone else to meet

Today at 8:42 AM

@professorsparklepants

I love this it's so goddamn wacky

tanoraqui

I just want teenager-based shenanigans ft. surprisingly competent teenagers and all the adults running around like chickens with their heads chopped off

professorsparklepants

Jingyi: why are you two more calm about this than the literal adults

Wen Yuan: have you met my dad?

tanoraqui

Also to be clear it is not at all hard to convince Wen Ning to join Team: Teenage Shenanigans, bc literally ANYONE in the Burial Mountain village would probably be down if you were like, “we’re engaged in a conspiracy to make Wei Wuxian fucking admit that he’s in love with that Lan guy who visits a couple times a year”

professorsparklepants

"This is my father, and this is his sugar daddy."

tanoraqui

I kinda wanna say he goes by “Wen Yuan” more often bc he’s 100% the baby of the entire remaining Wen clan there, but his adult name or w/e it’s called IS Wen Sizhui, because WWX asked LWJ if he had any suggestions and LWJ said this while maintaining eye contact

professorsparklepants

OH MY GOOOOOOD

tanoraqui

They meet LXC and he figures out what’s going on in like 4 minutes, despite the teens’ best attempts at obfuscation, and instead of calling anyone’s parents is like, “okay, I’m in”

professorsparklepants

#1 wingman...

tanoraqui

Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are definitely both traveling under false names, too? Wen Yuan obviously can’t admit to being a Wen and Jin Ling is making a privileged but slightly helicoptered teen’s rebellious bid for freedom

professorsparklepants

His dad is panicking at home and Yanli is like "boys need their freedom :)"

I saw a post forever ago about how Yanli would be the most hands off parent & Zixuan is an only child who would panic every time his kid fell down

tanoraqui

With a side order of “my mother is the only one who’ll say nice things about the Yiling Patriarch and she always looks sad when she does so I’m going to sneak into the Burial Mountain and either drag him out to see her or force my parents to come get me”

professorsparklepants

"I'm gonna beat up the Yiling Patriarch" "why" "he made my mom sad" "okay proceed"

tanoraqui

^ actual real conversation with WenYuan

professorsparklepants

A-Yuan then repeats the same thing to Wen Qing and she has the exact same answer, verbatim

tanoraqui

Side note: Wen Yuan has never been scared of the undead in his entire life, and probably this will lead to getting into severely life-threatening situations when he doesn’t have more backup than 2 other teenagers

professorsparklepants

Oh absolutely

professorsparklepants

He's so used to tuning out the sound of sentry corpses that one jumps on him and almost punches his lungs out

tanoraqui

Also what if he took WWX’s sword, so he looks like a proper normal cultivator - honestly, what if WWX gave him the sword when he turned 12, or whenever one customarily gives a child a sword in this world. He also has a flute stashed in his robe somewhere but he does know how to use both

tanoraqui

But also, while obviously it’s very important that this is the sword he inherited from his father, it’s never OCCURRED to him to, like, strongly associate it with WWX, in terms of “this would be a recognizable weapon”? Chenqing the flute, obviously, but WWX just left the sword on a shelf all the time

professorsparklepants

He's very good at fooling people into thinking he's a normal rogue cultivator until he busts out the flute

LOL YES

tanoraqui

So the first time someone looks at him and is like, “That is WWX’s sword” he achieves, like, “Who’s Morales? [NOT THAT DUMB]” levels of blank-brained

professorsparklepants

It like, doesn't even occur to him that this stick named whatever will be recognizable to people until it actually happens

"this is the Yiling Patriarch's sword!" "... I've never heard of him"

tanoraqui

“What sword?”

professorsparklepants

KDJAKSNJS

tanoraqui

“Oh, THIS sword? I...found it. In a stream.”

tanoraqui

Also...at some point...once the teens have admitted their identities to one another...and possibly gotten into a couple other increasingly public shenanigans...they run into a bunch of concerned people searching from the Jin or even Jiang sect - JC being there would be PERFECT - and Jin Ling is like, “aaahh, no, I don’t want to be dragged home... kidnap me.”

WY: what?

JL: pull out the flute, summon a couple corpses, shout that you’re the dread son of the Yiling Patriarch, and pretend to kidnap me

WY: ...yeah okay

AND THEN THEY DO THAT

professorsparklepants

The dumbass energy...... off the CHARTS

tanoraqui

They’re 15 and neither of them has ever faced consequences but in...actually not too different ways

They’re 15 and neither of them as ever faced consequences nor most of the real world

Oh my god is Lan Jingyi the most sensible person here

They’re going to DIE

professorsparklepants

JXHAKAJAKKQHSJA

JC and Yanli immediately see through this probably

"dumbass kid just doesn't want to go home. I'll break his legs."

tanoraqui

I think Yanli does but I have minimal faith in JC’s ability to think logically at any time

He’s still angry at WWX for leaving

professorsparklepants

Stomps to Yiling to demand his nephew back & wwx's like "lol, A-Yuan left two months ago"

Okay my shift is starting later

tanoraqui

/snort

Though, bold of you to assume that WWX isn’t also running around anxiously somewhere like “oh god, oh no, my son is missing; I must find him”

professorsparklepants

Sizhui is a responsible boy, I don't think he would leave without telling at least ONE person where he was going

tanoraqui

Ok but it was Wen Qing who thinks it’s good for WWX’s health to stop brooding and go run around like a headless chicken instead, optimally if he runs into his totally-not-a-boyfriend-Hahahaha-why-would-you-say-that

Alternately it was, like, Granny, which, ditto

No one on this mountain is going to stop WWX from going out to cause trouble and hopefully get laid, is my point

tanoraqui

Also, the cultivation world has been basically at peace for 13 years and the reason is that this is an ideal AU where JGY is dead and whenever trouble starts to stir politically, NHS and JYL meet eyes across the room and mentally Rock Paper Scissors over who has to manipulate everyone into calming the fuck down

Neither of them actually wants this job; they’re just good at it and recognize both those aspects in each other

professorsparklepants

LOLOLOL

That is.... so goddamn in character

tanoraqui

concept: JYL and NHS are friends and no one else understands it, or attributes it to JYL just being that nice, bc NHS still generally acts useless

professorsparklepants

Nhs actively wants to be useless and life is conspiring to make sure he can't

tanoraqui

a little less dramatically useless, but why ruin a good thing when you're having fun and it's useful

professorsparklepants

Lol

tanoraqui

but JYL fucking identified him as Actually Competent one time when he couldn't hide it, so now sometimes they get tea together and bitch about politics and stupid people

professorsparklepants

He's the only person who can correctly identify when she's talking shit about people, because it's VERY subtle and her brothers & husband are too busy thinking she hung the moon to notice

tanoraqui

JYL striding into Nie sect HQ (whatever it's called) and tossing her coat over a chair. "You would not BELIEVE what my brothers are doing now."

NHS: *probably knows, because he's found that the minor investment of effort in maintaining a very good spy network pays major dividends in helping him avoid greater work* *immediately sits up and pours her a cup of very expensive tea* Oh, girl, dish.

professorsparklepants

Question: are they also friends with lwj...

tanoraqui

yes but he's obviously not invited to hte political gossip sessions

professorsparklepants

I'm trying to imagine lwj making eye contact with them at some meeting his brother dragged him to and both of them struggling not to break into hysterics

tanoraqui

but they both know that he sneaks into Yiling to visit WWX a few times a year, and every single time, JYL sits him down within a couple weeks and aggressively debriefs him as to her brother's condition

professorsparklepants

I'm sure she tried to get him to take treats in

tanoraqui

for sure

it's hopeless, though, bc there's no really predicting WHEN he'll go? It's basically just "every 4-6 months when LWJ's resolve breaks"

professorsparklepants

Too bad she's not a stress quilter instead of a stress baker

tanoraqui

she gets him to go at an actual arranged time, bearing pork soup, like once, for WWX's 30th birthday or something

professorsparklepants

:)

tanoraqui

omg lit brain: LWJ of course is hte WORST for getting gossip, but JYL has pieced together a reasonable amount about the people her idiot baby brother (#2) is now living with. And she's mildly despairing as to idiot baby brother #1's ongoing refusal to get married and have an heir or three. So she, if not actively connives, then certainly siezes the first available opportunity to set Jiang Cheng up with Wen Qing

tanoraqui

basically, this au is PEAK romcom

tanoraqui

...also, for max happiness, i'd like to think that WWX made some strategic raids to rescue additional Wen refugees and bring them back, so there's a properly populated village and they didn't all just die

professorsparklepants

!!!

Good... Good thoughts

Good because 1. more people die and 2. The Yiling Patriarch will attack your village and steal your people away!

tanoraqui

(romcom being exclusively adults-focussed; the teens initiate it all but Jin Ling and Wen Yuan are both so delighted to have an Additional (But Cooler) Family Member that they comfortably cousinzone each other instantly)

professorsparklepants

*nice*

tanoraqui

...i feel like i keep characterizing Jin Ling as an only child, when really he ought to have a small horde of siblings

maybe they just...couldn't conceive more. shit happens. pregnancy is hard.

professorsparklepants

That happens sometimes

[ghooostbaby]

Reading the MDZS novel

A high octane journey through the final extras chapter

• ahh LWJ and WWX role playing they've never met before?!

• Lan WangJi, sir, I frankly cannot believe that you, an educator, are lying to children about math

• I got very excited when I first thought this was in Gusu Lan sect, and that they hang out with the little kids there! Logically if they teach the juniors as teens they MUST also teach younger kids and I just want to see it!!!!

• Ahhhhh wei ying feeding Lan Zhan things ... just all of it

• wwx sticking a sweet thing into his mouth and lwj just letting it stay there, and then wwx is like do you like it? And how lwj says nothing. And how wwx says I'll take back if you don't say if you want it! So lwj bites it (oh how he loves to bite what we wants)

• Honestly its one of the most romantic things in my opinion, that knowing lwj has trouble saying what he wants, wwx doesn't try to fix him, and just playfully gives him snacks to try, while teasing him

• The two of them just sauntering around a market together omg the domesticity im MELTING

• "When [Lan WangJi] finished [the snacks], Wei WuXian would always ask, 'How was it? How was it?' Sometimes Lan WangJi replied 'fine', while other times he replied 'excellent', yet more of than not, he would reply 'strange'. Whenever that happen Wei WuXian would laugh and take it, not letting him have any more." AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

• Lan WangJi being the baby oh my heart!

• Lan WangJi sneaking off to secretly learn to cook Wei WuXian's favourite soup for him it hurts

• Wei WuXian: you're a virgin who can't cook

• Lan WangJi: *is silent*

• 1 minute later

• Wei WuXian: plzzzzzz hanguang jun cook for Meeeee

• Love how they bully each other. Love how wwx has no poker face. Love lwj loving to win and being all big and good and getting kissed. Love wwx loving losing to lwj and being all small and bad in his lap.

• Also wwx calling lwj "my dear" (as the translation goes) !!!!

• OK there's just too many little back and forths that I am HOWLING over! WWX begging to be cooked for about to jump in his lap! lwj then correcting his posture!!! The "Er-Gege you can't treat me like this"!!!! And then finally holding wwx's hand and saying he cooked for him already!!!!

• But also hasn't it been months?? Atleast?! What have they been eating all this time?

• Wei Ying!!! No sex in the restaurant!

• Ohhh WWX being serious and he's just so earnestly overjoyed that his husband is a good cook fuck they're sweet

• Ahhhhh smile lan zhan, smile! It would send your wei ying through the roof

• Oh nooooo now they're playing a CARNIVAL GAME?!?! I am dead. They're winning toys for each other ahhhhhhhh help me

• Lan WangJi repeated, "Whatever it lands on is mine." We all know what you're thinking you possessive bitch

• Yeeeeeee forehead ribbon tugging in public. Who belongs to who now?!

• "I want whichever one you get." Oh lwj and your beautiful pure heart

• Ahahahahaha "Look at you. What are you doing in front of all these people?" Lan WangJi, "What?" Wei WuXian, "You're flirting with me." Lan WangJi's expression was calm, "I am not."

• The gentle teasing, the deep familiarity, the sense that they are that old married couple at the farmers market so in love after 100 years oh my god

• Ahhhh if wei wuxian can throw from that far away that must mean he developed mo xuanyu's golden core this is too much goodness

• "The jinshi is a peaceful place only for playing the guqin and burning incense"!?! Wei WuXian I've read about many other things occurring there ...

• Aghhh you never see LWJ as a normal teacher so the image of hanguang jun standing up at the front of a normal classroom as the juniors file into their desks ... "good morning class" ... with the new souvenir their teacher's husband got for him on their recent romantic getaway on display

• Honestly these two being teachers is the sweetest thing. Imagine having this hot gay magical power couple be your teachers.

• Ohhh they're actually in lotus pier!? Ugh my heart

• so adorable and dramatic lwj! wwx: "don't tip the boat sweetie." lwj: "do not worry. I can save you if you fall."

• "Yes! We can come again." Ugh these two. So gorgeous

• The way wwx reacts to lwj's smiles ... they are so so so in love (and the fact that Lan Zhan smiled at Wei Ying saying he wanted to trick him into getting beaten by the angry lotus farmer!)

• Oh Lord!!!! The serenity of lwj when they've fallen in the water, and he takes the blame for tipping the boat, so then wwx takes the blame, and they laugh and kiss!!!! SO. IN. LOVE. I am so happy for these sweet little lambs

• "Back then, all I really wanted was to play with you." Ajhh wwx you're going to end me.

• LWJ just scooping him up and putting him back in the boat, its too much!!

• Did lwj retrieve wwx's hair ribbon from the water or does he just keep a supply of red ribbons incase wwx needs one?!

• Oh no LWJ now you've DEFINITELY killed me: "you can try now to see if I would reject you over anything."

• And then wwx's reaction "please warn me before you say anything so romantic, or else i won't be able to take it." ahaaaaa you little shit. But honestly SAME

• And then lwj's little "ok" !!!! Imagine that he takes this seriously and from then on periodically says, "Wei Ying, I'm about to say something really romantic." And Wei Ying takes his hand and says, "OK, I'm ready Lan Zhan."

• So glad they get to have endless laughter and hugs now. My sweet darlings, you deserve it

• They really are so perfect

I love them so much

[restingdomface]

Lan Wangji makes extremely deadpan videos of his daily life with Wei Wuxian and their kids and nephews (and nieces if JC and JYL had more). This would include:

*shows a video of LWJ staring out the window for a solid thirty seconds, face entirely unchanged and somewhat disappointed, turns camera around to show Wei Wuxian and the kiddos putting mentos in soda bottles and trying to chuck them at each other, camera pans back to his face, still entirely devoid of emotion*

That one time Jin Ling got stuck up a tree and Wei Wuxian tried to get him down and also got stuck up there and now the other kids are looking for a ladder while LWJ just watches them from the patio, drinking tea. The kids finally give up and shamefully come to LWJ and ask him for help, he gets his husband and nephew down without a word.

The one where he buried 5yo A-Yuan in a pile of bunnies and got scolded by Lan Xichen for it because they might bite him if they get annoyed with him.

There is an entire compilation of rabbits that won’t leave him alone. Climb into his lap. Follow him with every step. Get excited when he comes outside. Hear a guqin and start looking for him. Just. He’s the rabbit whisperer. One of the black ones is just about always with him.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian interacting in any capacity is going to involve a lot of hitting each other and pushing each other over. Only-child kids think they hate each other, but people with siblings are all ‘no no, siblings are just Like That’. People think Yanli is all innocent till they realize she def only tells them to stop when she thinks they might actually get on each other’s nerves. She’s in the ‘boys will rough house and probably only have one collective braincell’ category.

People won’t stop asking him if he speaks so he vaguely makes mentions of having extremely low verbility. They ask if he does sign and he’s not really sure how (lol cause words hard) to explain to them that sign doesn’t really help when the issue is more of him not having much to say tbh. This is apparently the wrong thing to say because then people start being all ‘yeah I get you, I’m pretty dumb too, at least you’re pretty’ and he’s just sorta sitting there with this smacked fish look on his face while WWX can’t stop laughing next to him at the very idea of someone calling his husband slow. Wow. LWJ just sorta finally gets out that he has like two degrees and teaches giqun lessons and it’s amazing. The kids find out about it and can’t stop laughing for hours.

“Hey, why did you name your son ‘sorrow and longing’?” *commense 10 minute video of that time Wei Wuxian got arrested for something to do with a satanic ritual and that’s when LWJ ended up with custody of his adopted son for the next three years and he was in a really angsty mood tbh so it just kinda happened* not a single commenter expected that, even less so when he mentions that they weren’t even together at that point

Films what the viewers think is a prank at first, where he pours a dangerous amount of chili powder into a mug of hot chocolate (with a completely straight face) and then brings it to WWX who takes a drink and makes a dreamy little sigh and goes ‘you always know how to make it just like I want it’ and no one is sure how to react to this video. It’s like watching someone peel and eat a lemon.

You know that video of the girl with the deadpan voice saying she went downstairs to take a shower and there was something brown in the bottom of the tub but it turned out to be potatoes and she’s all ‘not a problem I was expecting, but a problem I can handle’? Okay so that’s how he talks in every video. WWX hands him a baby and he talks to them exactly like that. People ask if he’s good with kids and WWX is all ‘yeah, he’s not just a rabbit whisperer, he’s a baby whisperer too, he’s super great with kids’ *shows LWJ talking to a baby in That Voice while the baby looks at him in utter adoration*

“What’s it like growing up gay? Do you ever get shit for it?” LWJ.exe has stopped working, he has only met one straight couple the same age as him and they’re his sister in law. His brother has three boyfriends, one of which is his brother-in-law. He doesn’t know what a het-er-o-sexual is and he doesn’t want to. Pretty sure his uncle is acearo and hasn’t seen his parents in like 20 years.

LWJ: ‘I apologize for being so emotional in my last video.’ *viewers scrambled to find what video he meant because they ain’t ever seen that man emotional before but end up finding a video where Sizhui told him he loved him and called him papa and gave him a hug while WWX filmed, you can barely see LWJ’s left eye twitching and he pets Sizhui’s head for a moment* viewers are very confused on how this constitutes emotionalism.

Viewers ask to see his brother ‘you know, the one who apparently has three boyfriends’ and LWJ posts a video of LXC passed out on a couch with like three fully grown men all in various states of sliding off onto the floor while the teens play a game of ‘who can stack the most random objects on uncle’s bodies without them waking’ because apparently LWJ and WWX were gone for a weekend and the uncles were supposed to watch the kids (like, all ten of them probably, there’s probably a lot of kids) and it’s Sizhui filming the whole thing cause he’s the ‘good one’ and never does bad things. But he’s also like Auntie Yanli and is totally gonna egg them on from the sidelines.

WWX hands LWJ literally any food and LWJ will eat it all with a completely straight face but as soon as WWX is turned around LWJ is chugging a glass of milk with a look of death on his face. The kiddos straight up can’t stomach his cooking.

😭 someone asks why their hair is all so long and LWJ puts up a video of chatty adorable Sizhui braiding WWX’s hair while he tells him about his day at school. It’s. Too. Cute.

The never ending debate on if LWJ’s deadpan personality/speech is acting or not. No matter how much everyone assures them he’s really just Like That people just aren’t convinced.

Someone points out several times that in their house they have a room with a satanic symbol on the door. That’s just WWX’s home office it’s all good. This is treated as ‘lol WWX is so dramatic’ for like four whole weeks before LWJ posts a video of Sizhui standing outside the office looking nervous. ‘What’s wrong?’ He says. ‘Dad called me into his office.’ Sizhui replies. ‘WWX must be a very strict father,’ the viewers think. That’s not it. That’s not it at all tbh. That video got flagged on like four different platforms and kept getting removed for graphic images and half their viewers don’t. Want. To know. What happened. In that office. (WWX doesn’t even see what the big deal was, that goat was dead when he bought it shut up.)

The others do videos sometimes too lol. Videos include

Jin Ling’s compilation of ‘Mom, what’s for dinner’ and the answer is Always Lotus root and pork rib soup. Someone asks ‘lol she must make that often’ and JL is all ‘lol often, fairly sure she got same-food syndrome, it’s always soup’.

Lan Sizhui at like 17 years old: The one true secret I’ve never told my dads? My most shameful lie? Rabbits aren’t my favorite. My favorite is butterflies. *proceeds to cuddle a bun* I’m sorry Mister Bun, but you just aren’t nearly as pretty as butterflies.

Shaky video of someone sitting on the couch, pointed at NMJ: Brother, while you’re away on vacation with your boyfriends, I don’t plan on leaving this spot for even a minute. NMJ: Oh yeah? What’ll you do when you have to use the bathroom? NHS: Listen, I found a guy on Craig’s List who’s exact fetish is lazy young men who refuse to move and also diapers exist and he’ll be my slave for the week if I let him change me. NMJ: ...I’m taking you with me on vacation. NHS: Yay! NMJ: I’m also taking your phone away. NHS: -wait, no- NMJ: Too late.

Jin Ling: JiuJiu, I spilt soda on your Valentino white belt. Jiang Cheng: *incomprehensible sputtering* -soda on my Valentino white belt-!

Sizhui: *brings Jingyi a bowl of food* Here. Jingyi: Thank you! *takes a bite, face falls in terror, gives Sizhui a betrayed look* Sizhui: Dad’s worried I’m getting sick, he said this would clear my chest cold up. He didn’t consider what horrible things it would do to my bowels instead. Please eat it, he gets sad when I don’t finish what he makes. Jingyi: *glaring* Just dump it down the garbage disposal! Sizhui: *def has a fever if he didn’t think of that* Oh. Good idea.

LWJ: *swaying in place* WWX: This bitch drunk as hell. LWJ: I’m. Gonna comit. A crime. WWX: *crying a little* I love drunk hubby times. A full shot of vodka and he’s not gonna remember any of this. Hey kids, I’m taking Papa on a walk! Sizhui’s in charge!

Zizhen: *sitting quietly on the couch while LSZ, LJY and JL all argue behind him somewhere, covering his mouth with a slightly horrified look* Jingyi: I mean, that’s not fair at all! Who HASNT made out with their cousin at one point or another? Ling: ... Sizhui: You said you’d never bring that up again please shut up. Ling: ...!!!!!! Zizhen: Amazing.

That one time the kiddos hypnotized Jin Ling into thinking he was a kitten. The adults all thought it was really weird that he was finally going through the whole ‘pretending to be an animal’ phase at like ten, but then the kiddos fessed up to learning how to hypnotize and they aren’t sure how to fix it. WWX instigated a rule that no brainwashing is allowed outside his office from now on.

People ask how WWX and LWJ met and it’s told from the POV of Lan Qiren who progressively getting drunker as he tells the story of the terrible high school romance that he had to watch between bad boy WWX and his precious baby angel nephew that made him consider quitting and how no one believed them when they insisted they didn’t get together till after WWX got out of jail for the cow incident.