#teaching by deliberately traumatizing students

[laughingcatwrites]

Oh geeze, I remember when a completely twisted wreck showed up near my school for a couple of weeks surrounded by police tape and none of us knew if it was from an actual accident that they were taking forever to tow or if it was a high school prom scare tactic.

The scare tactic that really traumatized me was the train video they made us watch in elementary school, probably around fourth grade or so. (It's so bad that it has lived in my head ever since as The Train Video.) They had the whole grade and I think one other gather in the gym and sat us on the floor while they projected the video onto one of those portable projector screens.

I don't remember the start of the video but the grand finale was when two kids were playing chicken on the tracks while their friends were getting an educational tour on the train. The conductor was showing the kids on the train how it operated and letting one of the kids try out the controls while the kids playing chicken on the tracks panicked for some reason (I think a caught shoelace or something?) and rolled the wrong way (into the tracks instead of off of them). So in other words, it ended with a couple of kids not only witnessing but being physically involved in their friends' gruesome death.

Needless to say, the entire gym was dead silent after that video. Looking back on it I don't think the teachers were prepped about it, either, since they were clearly stumbling for words as they tried to turn it into a lesson and herd us back to our classrooms.

And to this day I am incredibly uncomfortable standing on train tracks and will constantly have my head on a swivel to make sure I don't miss any oncoming trains.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU AMERICAN EDUCATION SYSTEM?!!

[plurdledgabbleblotchits]

"These attacks on so-called “woke education” will have innumerable consequences. The biggest one, perhaps, is one that has gone mostly undiscussed.

If K-12 students are forbidden to learn about the history of racism and anti-racism in the US, about the existence and the struggles of Black folk and queer folx, then when would they learn all this? An undergraduate course on US or African American history would then become the first time millions of these students will learn about the good, the bad and the ugly in these histories. That is, of course, if they ever attend college at all. And those who encounter these subjects in an educational setting for the first time in university inevitably show some resistance. They try to hold on to stereotypes about Black people, queer people and all the other marginalised groups in the US that they picked up from media and society at large, turning education into a battle for lecturers attempting to teach them the truth about the US and the world.

This battle, sadly, has been under way for a very long time."

"When, as a college professor you are dealing with undergraduates who have heard and taken to heart these and so many other racist stereotypes, and never received any meaningful pushback in K12 classrooms, every lecture, every discussion, and every reading can be like Sisyphus pushing a boulder uphill."

"Deliberate actions to ban curricula and books on race and racism in the US will inevitably continue to leave higher education faculty like me swimming against a tsunami of racist ideas and students who, more often than not, are proud of their ignorance. And it will set Black, Brown, and queer students up for a traumatizing educational experience – one where they will face racist and queerphobic slurs and erasure in classrooms, hallways, playgrounds, auditoriums, media rooms and lunchrooms, from age five until adulthood, every day."

[bengaliatull]

Hinduphobia in Academia Leaves Students Traumatized

The Guru or teacher has always been a hallowed concept for the Indian subcontinent. A teacher is respected as the moral compass of the community, and responsible for the accurate enlightenment of the general population, in Hindu society.

The key term here is responsible. Teachers, or academics, are responsible to their students to ensure their work is accurate, free of overt bias, and open to corrections when not. So what do Hindu students do when faced with teachers who don’t?

These standards have not been met when discussing the case surrounding some American Indologists and their study of the Hindu religion. As a community, we must recognize that irrational prejudice against the Hindu community is a definitive problem within vast swaths of Western academia. Scholars have allowed their personal beliefs against Hinduism to influence their work, leading to the crude misrepresentation of the Hindu community in academic circles. In order to evade responsibility for their Hinduphobic content, Indologists have labeled protest from the Hindu community as “Extremism” or a “Hindutva conspiracy.” Not only have student protests been ignored, but pleas from religious organizations and temples have been declined as well.

Last month, a coalition of 75 Hindu temples and religious organizations sent a letter to Rutgers University regarding the biased works of Professor Audrey Truschke. Truschke had previously misattributed the works of another scholar, to claim that the original Valmiki Ramayan had a quote where Devi Sita abuses Bhagwan Rama – something that was swiftly contradicted by the academic she was quoting. The temple letter stands in solidarity with the students, and states that the

coalition “could not help but feel intensely hurt and abused when a Professor uses her authority and deliberately misinterprets Hindu sacred texts or slanders Hindu deities while rationalizing such behavior as “academic freedom.”

American Indologists are allowed to publish these works under the guise of academic freedom. But what does “academic freedom” mean when used as a cover to protect action that puts vulnerable students at risk? According to the Freedom Forum Institute, academic freedom allows a university to teach what it pleases without government interference and for teachers to teach without interference from university officials. Nowhere does it deny students (vulnerable to the power yielded by tenured academics), and minority communities, their own free speech rights to peacefully protest.

The temples state, “Bigotry and Hinduphobia on social media and in scholarship cannot be excused as academic freedom, especially when these remarks have grave consequences for how Hindu students at Rutgers will be perceived by their own peers.” As a student who faced discrimination due to the misrepresentation of Hinduism in California textbooks, I cannot state the importance of these words enough. In California, kids as young as sixth grade had to face discrimination due to how schools taught Hinduism. In 2016, a significant advocacy movement led by Hindus in California paved the way for positive change. Similarly, the temple letter represents an effort from the broader Hindu American community to stand against systematic discrimination – making it invaluable support to students dealing with bias that results from Hinduphobic teachings.

For years American Indologists have ignored these pleas and petitions for correction or even a hearing. Any student, parent, scholar, or even an academic with an opposing view has been ignored. All this while those misattribute quotes or fake translations, choose to put out claims that they are facing “harassment”.

On the morning of July 6th, 2021, just days after the collective plea from Hindu temples, the SASAC, or the South Asian Scholars Activist Collective, released a statement regarding their “harassment.” The report included the “Hindutva Harassment Manual,” or tips for those who had been harassed by “Hindutva extremists.” The SASAC comprises Indology scholars across the United States and has Truschke on its board.

In its attempt to gaslight Hindus, the manual has some glaring flaws. The most important one being its definition of Hinduphobia, which in fact, denies the very existence of such a term. The manual says, “Hinduphobia” rests on the false notion that Hindus have faced systematic oppression throughout history and in present times… Anti-Hindu bias, on the other hand, cannot be easily linked to casualties on such horrific scales.”

The SASAC academics are scholars with countless resources at their command. So one has to wonder at the ease with which they ignore Hindu persecution. This amnesia includes the 1971 Bengali Hindu genocide — the largest the world has seen since the Holocaust, whose horrors documented in numerous US State Government reports, by no less an icon than Senator Kennedy. The cleansing of Kashmiri Hindus and even the decimation of Hindu minorities in Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Afghanistan are blithely ignored in this attempted body count of casualties.

Barely after I had finished writing this article, I learned about another outrage. A cabal of Indologists has put together the “Dismantling Global Hindutva” conference which is an overtly political attempt to malign the religion of Hinduism under the guise of “fighting Hindu extremism" They have done so without taking the input of the Hindu diaspora or representing them in any way. Many of the universities affiliated with the conference are unaware of such a politically motivated conference occurring, underlining the lengths that the academics behind the conference will go to in order to perpetrate their hate. To join the protest against this bigoted event, please read this petition.

The SASAC’s denial of Hinduphobia has a simple purpose; to deflect from their wrongdoing, and importantly, silence any protest regarding their works – no matter how legitimate – by ascribing them all to Hindu extremism.

In doing this, the SASAC breaches a fundamental pillar. As Professor Arvind Sharma puts it, as academia is allowed to criticize the practices of a population freely, it is the fundamental right of the people in question to critique academia. Attempting to take away that right by removing their sense of accountability as an academic allows others to discriminate against the community in question. The standard set by today’s intellectuals will determine the way the American curriculum will teach future generations about Hinduism.

The price of staying quiet is high and borne by the most vulnerable. Just hear the words of Aishwarya, a graduate student “I joined Rutgers with the impression that it’s a very reputed university and will give me the perfect environment to grow. However, when I heard the comments of Professor Truschke about my faith, my scriptures, and my Gods, it broke my confidence. I felt scared about mentioning my faith, that students will judge me and might hate me because that is what they are learning in the class or on social media.” It behooves us all to stand with Aishvarya and help her feel safe.

[terrence-silver]

Because Terry trained him at one point, even though Mr. Miyagi is Daniel’s actual sensei does he also kind of see himself as his sensei even though he trained Daniel for nefarious reasons?

Yes.

I think Terry feels he's the one who actually made Daniel into a competent fighter in the first place, disregarding Mr. Miyagi's teaching's a 'load of pacifist bullshit' and insert several slurs here. He thinks he's one who made him tough, strong, a threat, versatile and even deadly, if need be, and worst of all, he'd be right, in a sense.

But, I don't think it stops there either.

Seeing as how Daniel became a self-made man with something of a wealthy lifestyle to himself, I believe Terry also sees that he indirectly had a hand in that too, all martial arts and Sensei / student relationships aside. That the hunger and tenacity that short time in Cobra Kai instilled a certain ethic and innate desire for new heights in Daniel in later years. That Daniel became a successful businessman, in a way, because of him. Due to him. That Terry served as the drive. The inspiration. The catalyst. The subconscious blueprint for that. Terry might see it through the lenses of Daniel accumulating status to avoid ever falling prey to someone like that again. To avoid himself being used and abused. Terry has enough self-awareness to recognize that. To recognize he deliberately traumatized Daniel because that's exactly what he set out to do and that it had lasting consequences because Terry wanted it so. Terry feels Daniel became more like himself, in a societal sense, to be able to swerve becoming a victim of someone like him, in a meta-ironic sense, and as such, Terry views himself as Daniel's maker. Someone he built up and improved upon through pain --- just like Terry was improved upon through pain, post-Vietnam once he went from Twig to well, what he became. Terry has turned the doe-eyed, impulsively naive Italian boy from Reseda who used to get tossed around into a respected, successful Entrepreneur in The Valley. He's created him into what he is today. He fancies Daniel Auto-Dealer Larusso as his pet project. Daniel the businessman as his pet project. Daniel the man of wealth as his pet project. Daniel who's on billboards around LA as his pet project. Daniel who's on TV commercials as his pet project. It doesn't just stop with Karate. It bleeds into every facet of Daniel's life.

He thinks he's made Daniel into an adult; a man.

That he beat Daniel into a man, rather. Bled it out of him.

He envisions himself as Daniel's architect rather than just a Sensei.

[philosopherking1887]

Oh good, I'm glad I found someone in the notes saying this, because this was my first reaction when I started reading. Is the allegation that public school teachers are deliberately making reading a traumatic experience for the purpose of making their students docile subjects of capitalism? Or that some shadowy power is providing them with ineffective, traumatizing teaching methods for this purpose?

"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

[mivolasvivi]

(Preface: I am no longer Catholic and haven’t been Catholic for many years. I am fiercely pro-choice and support the rights of women to bodily autonomy. This is also a long post)

I feel like people who weren’t raised Catholic or around Catholics don’t really understand just how severe the anti-abortion conditioning is from an incredibly young age.

I went to Catholic school for 13 years and was a practicing Catholic until age 12 or so. Just about every year outside the church or school, there would be signs that say “pray to end abortion” on a somewhat regular basis. Abortion is described as a horrific act of murder that kills babies, from an incredibly young age.

What’s important to understand about this upbringing is that Catholics largely do not see this primarily as a uniquely Catholic religious issue- they see it in the same light as murder, which is of course illegal. This is really pounded into us from a young age, and being children of Catholic families (tend to be larger), just about everyone has a baby sibling, baby cousins, etc. They really do use that as a tool for anti-choice indoctrination.

What’s notable too is that homilies of the Catholic mass have become increasingly more political. For those unaware, the homily is the part of the mass where the priest gives a little talk about the gospel reading of the week. They’re typically the longest/most personal part of the mass, since the personality of the priest actually comes through as a unique speech, whereas every other part is the same every week.

Homilies SHOULD NOT be political due to the separation of church and state and the tax free status of churches, but I have vivid memories of my priest telling us NOT to vote for Obama, and abortion has been an increasingly relevant issue in homilies as well. The homilies are probably the most memorable part of the Catholic mass and have an impact on the church in question. The gradual erosion of the religious-state boundary of the church, especially apparent in the homily, has in my opinion, led Catholics to not see this boundary nearly as strongly or at all.

It’s also worth noting just how much Catholic schools push this. I once had a graded essay assignment where I had to describe why abortion was wrong and what I’d do to “advocate for life” in 8th grade. (I actually refused to write this).

Every year my schools would spend thousands of dollars to send students to the March for Life, free of charge to the students. My dioceses started sending people in 8th grade, but many others went younger. These children have no idea what they’re actually standing for and are just being used as props and pushed further into indoctrination. Also, the March is quite brutal- there are regularly gory pamphlets or photos of partially aborted fetuses shown, audio of crying, or videos of failed abortions or mothers/babies in pain. It is properly traumatic and it is deliberately so. Many schools in my area actually mandated attendance for this in some way, or at least highly encouraged it.

Every year we’d also have an anti Roe v Wade assembly, usually before the March. Sometimes they’d bring in lawyers to discuss how to legally take it down. Some odd fundraisers were built into this too, like various food items with tiny baby toys inside. (I think these were originally meant for baby showers?). It was not at all uncommon for “an end to abortion” to be a prayer intention in literally any prayer, whether that be in a mass or in a class prayer.

Abortion was probably at least mentioned every day (albeit maybe in a small way like prayer intentions), especially in high school. And even if you naturally didn’t feel too strong about it, just being in that culture for so long where it’s normalized is so damaging. It was for me personally. School has such an impact on the life of a child, and Catholic schools have become masters of indoctrination through both teaching religious doctrine outright but also the more subtle cultural means.

So two main things here:

1. Catholics are indoctrinated from an incredibly young age in the Catholic school system to be anti-abortion through extensive means.

2. Catholics indoctrinated in this way fully view abortion as murder and typically fail to see how it violates the separation of church and state, or if they do, choose not to care.

With the Supreme Court also recently supporting religious schools with public funds, I am extremely nervous for the future of this system and how it will be allowed to operate and further indoctrinate. As much as people often blame evangelicals for regressive policy, the Supreme Court is now a primarily Catholic body, and people outside of Catholicism don’t really understand how the Catholic ecosystem in America works. The pope (often criticized for being too liberal by modern JP2-idolizing Catholics) also recently supported the decision, so this is by no means just a fringe group of Catholics either.

I worry about what other aspects of cultural Catholicism will be legislated from the bench. I suspect funding of Catholic schools will be more of a point, since Catholic schools tend to demonize public schools.

Overall, I am worried about the future of American Catholicism and it’s effects on the Supreme Court

(Obligatory the above information may not be true for all Catholics, but reflects my own lived experiences)

[linkspooky]

The Kids Aren’t Alright

There are several things wrong with Bakugo’s mindset in the most recent chapters, and I think they can all be effectively summed up in this image. 

 Bakugo’s focus is still being stronger than the bad guys, rather than on saving people. It’s still all about winning to him. 

Bakugo makes a selfish and bull headed decision to charge right into danger due to his own personal trauma.

Bakugo’s trauma is still unresolved. Rather than coming to terms with what happened to him, he’s still stuck in the mindset that if he had just been stronger then the traumatizing incident would never have ahppened to him. He’s literally in a sense fighting his trauma and trying to punch it in the face rather than processing his feelings. 

I’ll go more in depth under the cut. 

1. The Kids Aren’t Alright

The decision to charge after Shigaraki reflects poorly on both Bakugo and Deku’s characters, and shows character regression for both of them. There’s a difference between being heroic, and making a suicide charge and the difference lies in every single person telling Deku and Bakugo not to run at Shigaraki, and the both of them blatant ignoring that sound and logical advice. 

This arc so far has been about the regression of the heroes. This applies not only to the professional heroes, but also the next generation who are set up to fix the flaws of the previous generation. However, and I hope this is what Horikoshi is setting up, it’s impossible to fix those flaws if the characters don’t even see those flaws in the first place. We are shown several times characters carrying a serious case of hero worship that blinds them tot he faults of their mentors.

When asked to think for himself by the villain, Tokoyami’s black and white vision of heroics is so extreme that he can’t even criticize Hawks. Hawks had to have been right, because the heroes are always right in the end. The fact that the heroes are above criticism at all times prevents the next generation from learning of their faults. 

This is also something that has been set up previously, All Might keeps secrets from Deku like his fallout with Nighteye because he was afraid it would make him look bad to his protege. Bakugo has been shown to have a completely different interpretation of All Might than Deku, to the point where it was called into question what he saw in All Might might have been wrong. 

Bakugo was set up to learn something, and he didn’t, and that’s character regression. Characters don’t always move forward, sometimes they stall, or even fall back. If this arc really is about the regression of hero society than it makes sense that this conflict is completely unresolved. As you said, Eraserhead and All Might both said they needed to do more to address Bakugo’s trauma about being kidnapped, and taking the blame for All Might’s end and yet six months later he is still blaming himself. 

The reason Bakugo is holding onto his feelings all this time is a complicated one and has entirely to do how Bakugo copes with his trauma. This has been a running theme with Bakugo since the beginning of the manga. Bakugo reflects the ideas of hero society, and because Bakugo believes himself to be strong due to having a flashy quirk, he thinks there is no situation where he should feel weak. He always assumes he can overcome everything simply by getting stronger, and trying harder. It’s why the expectations on him are so monumentally high. 

This is not only an idea that Bakugo has of himself, he’s also treated this way by everyone around him. When he’s kidnapped by a villain nobody stops to check if he’s okay, they just compliment him on his quirk and say how strong he was. Because he is strong he is expected to always be strong. To the point where Bakugo’s kidnapping on live television is brought up as a point of embarrassment and shame for him, rather than a point where he nearly died. 

Bakugo has internalized this idea that he can’t let anyone make him feel weak, and he can’t feel weak ever, due to the way people around him are always treating, and also his own personal failure at learning how to process his emotions. In the past Bakugo projected his feelings of weakness onto Deku and beat him up rather than try to address his own personal failings. 

Bakugo is strong, so Deku has to be weak. Bakugo is important, so Deku has to be a pebble of the side of the road. It’s also a repeat of the same biases that hero society has shown him, Bakugo gets special treatment because he has a strong quirk, Deku is put down because he’s quirkless. 

All of these unhealthy attitudes have been passed onto Bakugo and it’s left him completely unable to process his trauma. In his book if he was strong he never would have gotten kidnapped in the first place. Therefore, the only way for him to solve the problem is to get stronger. To simplify, a lot of times trauma is about control. Being kidnapped by villains meant Bakugo was completely out of control in the situation. He’d always like to imagine he’s in control, and capable of winning if he’s strong enough. Even when he was kidnapped, Bakugo kept acting like all he needed was for them to drop their guard down and he would escape. He couldn’t even admit to himself that he was scared and in need of saving. 

The key to that involves admitting that he’s not in control, admitting to his weakness, but Bakugo does not want to do that so instead he’s just gotten stronger and stronger. However, Bakugo negatively foils another character who was unable to admit to his weakness and because of that hurt everyone around him. 

Endeavor and Bakugo reflect one another in that they both have super unhealthy attitudes in regards to their own strength. This is also a parallel that was deliberately set up by the plot. 

All Might compared him and Endeavor as similiar heroes, and Bakugo even directly said he came here to reflect on the differences between him and Endeavor and how he can be better, and Bakugo just didn’t do that. We see the reason he didn’t as well, he was so fixated on strength that he thought he was done growing when he beat up a bad guy faster than Endeavor for once. 

Bakugo’s goal was once again focused entirely in developing his own strength, not caring about his emotional development at all. And so we see, Bakugo has literally no reaction to learning that Endeavor could have murdered his own son, but he reacts this much to just being faster than Endeavor. Bakugo’s priorities are still entirely on physical strength and not emotional strength because due to trauma he thinks if he were just physically strong he would have overcome that situation. Thus he regresses. 

2.  Oh No, You’re Just Another Brick in the Wall

The kids are failing to learn lessons but also adults are failing to teach them. There are several instances of this in this arc alone, and in the leadup to this arc. As you said, Eraserhead had like six months to work with Bakugo, and Bakugo still feels like it’s his fault that All Might retired and he has to fix it, so clearly Eraserhead did nothing. 

All Might is someone who has noticed the similarity between Bakugo and Enji but fails completely to notice Endeavor’s flaws, and how those things make him a bad hero. Not only does Bakugo still hold onto the idea that physical strength is what matters most over emotional strength, but every hero around him believes that as well. 

The Public Hero Safety Commission is forcing the kids into internships. Endeavor only starts mentoring the kids because the hero safety commission says it’s in his best interest. The healthy development of the children is not their number one priority here, but rather how they can be used as soldiers for the upcoming battlefield. Soldiers don’t need have well-developed emotions, they just need to be strong, and fight the thing you tell them to fight. 

Every single adult hero in the system, including Hawks who is a child soldier himself seems to think that physical strength means that it’s okay to put literal teenagers on a battlefield where extremely dangerous serial killers are going to try to kill them, and yes it’s different from normal hero work because normal hero work heroes are not allowed to kill no matter what. It’s been made clear several times already this arc is a war zone, and heroes are fighting for life or death stakes with killing intent towards the villains. 

Bakugo’s failure of growth also represents a failure on the part of the heroes because he actually shares several flaws in common with his mentors. Aizawa and Bakugo have the exact same trauma response. The reason they lose, and lose people is simply because they weren’t strong enough. They take all of the blame on themselves. 

Aizawa admits that people have died saving his life, but his survivor’s guilt is too much for him to bear. So, he tries to fix his trauma in the way that Bakugo does. He tries to simply be stronger. If he’s stronger next time then he won’t lose, and he’ll never have to lose anyone ever again. 

Not only is Aizawa’s power fantasy a bad way to handle his emotions because he’s disrespecting the sacrifices of both Crustle and Oboro who wanted him to live (he’s even going so far as to totally disrespect Oboro who is still alive as Kurogiri, by destroying his precious student he looked after like a lost kitten. In other words Aizawa is killing the cat rather than saving it.) It’s not actually about them, it’s about Aizawa’s own feelings of hurt. Just like Bakugo’s bullying, his obsessive quest to be stronger, are all about his own hurt feelings and not what’s best for others. Not only is he failing to come to terms with his own feelings he’s also decidedly unheroic. 

Aizawa’s interest is not in saving someone, but rather revenge. Like he’s the Dark Knight or the Punisher. Aizawa’s positive qualities all lie in how he can understand the needs of children, and take care of them, and yet he’s doing the opposite of that in trying to kill an abused child. 

Aizawa’s completely tunnel visioned view of the world (just like Bakugo’s) also leads to his own hypocrisy. He needs to live, and he thinks dying is the worst thing of all so he tries to teach students that simply throwing your life away isn’t heroic - and yet here he is making a suicide charge five seconds after his life was saved. He wants to protect his students, but he also lets the Hero Commission bring a bunch of sixteen year olds who have not been properly informed or consented to this at all (and legally cannot consent) to a warzone where people are trying to kill them. 

Aizawa fails to notice the flaws in hero society and correct them, and because of this while he’s talking about how he would do anything to protect his students, Bakugo and Deku disobey direct orders to run away from Shigaraki, and charge straight at him in a suicide charge. Bakugo has failed to learn his lesson, and Aizawa has failed to teach it, and if it continues this way Hero Society can’t improve it will only stagnate. 

[the-river-person]

I’m going to have to make a list of these eventually. But know that the world in “The Alleyway” is now considered "open for use"  or “Community Shared” without the need to request permission from the creator (me) though I’d like to be tagged and credited still. Name of Au: WarrenTale Creator: the-river-person Date of Appearance: Aug 1st, 2021 Universe: WarrenTale is a Universe where Monsters and Humans live freely together within the four major cities of the Claustra Alliance. The Alliance is ruled over by an Emperor who mostly allows the city officials or rulers to each do as they see fit. Citizens are not allowed to leave the confines of the cities, which are large enough to be mostly comfortable for a lot of people, except by special rail cars which carry people to the other cities. The reason for this confinement is the Corruption. A supposed poison or infection that covers the land and deadens it, rendering it blackened or grey, and everything on it that is infected. The official reports state that the Corruption originated during the Human and Monster War and that in order to survive, Humans and Monsters formed an emergency peace treaty and created the cities with magic and technology, thus diverging WarrenTale from the main course of events of Undertale. Each city is supposed to corespond to one of the original Game’s main areas. Vandfald, the only named city thus far, is based on the Waterfall Area and features a city of colossal towers that carry layers of open-air streets and numerous districts. This cluster of towers stands in a deep gorge whose depths cannot be seen from above. Water is pumped in from below and put to use all over the city to generate power, the canals then dump it back down into the gorge via massive waterfalls. The city’s drinking and bathing water is pumped in specially to prevent any Corruption. There is still technology in this world, but its either primitive stuff or very very advanced. Little of the stuff we’d recognize remains unless its scavenged from outside the Cities and repaired to be sold by illegal merchants. The Warren is a set of twisted labyrinthine streets that are home to vagrants and vagabonds, shady dealers, persecuted minorities, criminals of various kinds, and pretty much most outcasts from the Cities. They are built to resemble the streets and styles of all four of the Cities, but are actually quite far away from all of them. Technology and Magic as old as the War was scavenged, rebuilt, and used to make numerous Gateways and Posterns that lead into the Four Cities in various locations. In the event of an incursion, these gateways can be shut down to cut off access. Denizens of the Warren see themselves as apart from the Cities and the Emperor’s rule, though not everyone sees themselves as a rebellion. Characters: Frisk: A Gender Neutral child of about twelve years of age who lives with the Dreemurr Family after having been adopted through the system at a young age (a deeply traumatic experience). Though the Dreemurrs are not cruel people and would never try to hurt anyone, they are not the most ideal parents and can sometimes be both neglectful and controlling. Madame Toriel: A charming woman, but somewhat overzealous about what she terms “climbing the social ladder”. This entails hosting large dinners and galas with all sorts of important people, especially Minister Sans. The Minister is of particular importance to her because he is Minister of Finance and Commerce for the City of Vandfald, and the Dreemurr family owns a budding trading company. She may be sweet on Sans, but its difficult to tell whether that’s real or merely a product of her ambitions. Though she sees herself as benevolent and kindly, she likes to have things her way and can aggressively micromanage everyone around her until she’s satisfied. Azzy: The child of Madame Toriel and Master Asgore. Suffers from neglect and is often ill and anxious. Whenever he’s well enough he likes to spend time out in the extensive gardens around the family house and sometimes to visit the city gardens. His favorite flower is a kind of golden blossom whose name he hasn’t found out yet, though he’s memorized the names of every other flower in the city. Master Asgore: A monster consumed by his desire for wealth, left a shell of himself. He is always working, always trying to make better trades, make new profitable deals. Driven by the need to provide a “better” life for his family, he is neglectful and absent. Though others might think him friendly and charming, he is solely focused on rising up in the world. Always rising, but never really stopping, never finding that enough is enough, and slowly losing the very things he’s certain that he’s caring for. Doggo: Surprisingly he’s an old University Professor, fired for teaching his students about dissenting views against the Alliance, the Cities, and the Emperor, about pre war history and philosophy, and about a number of things the city officials decided were “deliberately harmful to the prospects of students by taking up their time with unnecessary and outdated or irrelevant studies.” (In other words, they didn’t want to say he was a threat to the state so he got the boot). He still keeps in contact with several of his students, one of whom is Minister Sans of Vandfald City. Doggo now lives in the Warrens, and has printed several books with his knowledge (all banned by the Emperor after copies were found and confiscated by city law enforcement) under various pseudonyms. Minister Sans: For all appearances he is a respectable and upstanding Citizen. He oversees trade and business for Vandfald as well as setting the government’s budgets. However he is also well aware of the Warrens and is actively engaged in a growing resistance to the control of the Emperor. He is not publicly known to have a brother, but he cares very deeply for Papyrus and ensures that he always has more than enough to live on despite the fact they rarely see one another anymore. Papyrus: The Doorkeeper. Papyrus is rarely seen in person, spending almost all of his time in his home, hidden deep in the lower levels of Vandfald City’s towers. He has control of the mechanisms that maintain the entrances to the Warrens. Individual gates and doors can be shut by someone nearby in the Warrens. But this lonely skeleton holds the key to shut or open any or all of them whenever he wishes. How he ended up in charge of this is unknown, but he’s made it his life’s work to keep the Warrens free and the refugees living there safe. He spends so much time alone, watching the gateways, that it consumes him, driving him half mad. Sitting in the dark and staring at screens from ancient computers as old as the War of Humans and Monsters. Sans visits rarely, and ensures he has money and food and anything else he wants. Aron and Catty: Two married monsters who live in the Warrens. Traders and merchants, they sell illegally scavenged and repaired technology from the badlands beyond the city. Aron is a very handsome aquatic monster with muscular features and comes off as a used car salesman. He is deeply devoted to his Cat Monster wife and would do anything for her. She is only slightly resentful towards their situation, having come from a moderately wealthy family, but loves him just as fiercely. Despite this, they quarrel constantly, and she whacks him with whatever is on hand (really he doesn’t mind this and they both know it. It’s more for the show of getting their frustrations out.) Chilldrake: Child of the Drake family, a family who runs a restaurant in Vandfald City. His friends include Azzy, Frisk, a mouse (whose father works in the restaurant), and a monster named Suzy. Can I use this AU in my story/comic/video/art?: Yes. I only ask that I be tagged and credited! So I can come see what cool stuff you did! Can I write a story/comic or make a video for this AU that tells its story?: Sure. I don’t have a story for it. I might come back and do a one shot or two. But all stories for it are equally canon. Is Mistral Sans an official part of this AU?: He is not. Mistral visited, and ended up giving advice to Frisk and Azzy. But he won’t interfere with events here, and has told them not to mention him to anyone. He might offer them one or two pieces of advice if they really need it, but its likely he’ll be long gone before the story draws to its close. He’s just here to see what this Universe is like. Will you answer questions about this AU’s characters, places, and history?: Sure. I’d love to. Just send an ask and if I have an answer, I’ll let you know. Or if I never thought about that, I can probably figure it out in order to answer.

[whentherewerebicycles]

i have to wonder if there's an implication that can be drawn the other way around wrt playfulness and stress - not that un-playful individuals experience stress more acutely, but that people who experience stress more acutely become less and less playful. i have intense, disproportionate shame/fear reactions due to Childhood Trauma(tm) and it's inhibiting as fuck - my work with my singing teacher to relax and (though i've never framed it this way) play(!) w/out embarrassment has been (1/3)

one of the most healing things for me... so i think there's this nexus of inhibition & confidence/security & perspective/scale & playfulness & resilience. to be playful you have to be a bit silly and vulnerable and willing to take a risk on doing something "wrong" i.e. not take yourself too seriously, but if you feel chronically unsafe you'll take yourself & everything else too seriously and want to do it "right" so you minimize the perceived risk of harm. going back to my singing teacher (2/3)

the most important thing she did for me was create an explicitly safe, non-judgmental environment where it's not only ok but even desirable to "fuck up" and "look/sound stupid" and to reinforce that message multiple times. so anyway that quote just made me think that "don't take things/yourself too seriously" sits at this interesting intersection between increasing playfulness & coping strategies for emotional damage. sorry to ramble about it in your ask box lol! (3/3)

*

yes I think this is so so true!! all of this, lol, but especially the part about how acute stress can make it increasingly difficult to be playful. i have written a lot about working through internalized shame here in the past, and especially about the ways that shame causes you to both physically and emotionally shut down parts of yourself. (i actually gave a talk about this subject recently! it was like, a layman’s intro to the neuroscience of shame, with a specific focus on how shame responses affect people’s ability to learn & to connect socially with others in learning spaces.) 

i do just want to clarify that the excerpt i posted was from a study that was very narrowly focused on answering the question: “is there a link between playfulness levels and positive/adaptive coping mechanisms in responding to stress?” the study wasn’t designed to answer larger questions about what kinds of life experiences might produce higher levels of playfulness vs. make it difficult to be playful (such as past trauma, not having one’s basic needs for security met, etc.). in the conclusion the authors note that their findings (i.e., that playful people seem to be more able to readily access and use positive coping mechanisms) means that we should be doing more research on how to cultivate playfulness and how to help people unlearn maladaptive coping mechanisms like self-blame. so the point of the study was not to blame individuals or place the responsibility on individual people (“if you could just lighten up, you wouldn’t be so stressed / unhappy / bad at coping!”). it was more like, an attempt to establish that playfulness (as a way of engaging with the world) seems to be associated with all of these positive ways of coping and managing stress, and so we might want to research playfulness more deeply and/or focus on cultivating it in college students.

so i think you are absolutely right that when we talk about playfulness it’s important not to think of it as something that something people just “have” or don’t have (detached from any consideration of people’s backgrounds, lived experiences, etc.). and we also want to avoid pathologizing its absence (“if you don’t have a playful attitude then there’s something wrong/flawed/messed up about you that needs to be fixed”). my research is focused on understanding how we can better create learning environments like the one your singing teacher has created for you -- i.e., spaces where people feel more secure and less vulnerable to scathing or hypercritical judgment; where failures and mistakes are encouraged & normalized as a natural, healthy part of the learning experience; where instructors are modeling self-compassion and deliberately not using shame-based methods; and just in general, where students are getting the kind of gentle, compassionate, consistent messaging you describe receiving from your teacher. basically I’m interested in creating classrooms that provide the stability and consistency people need in order to learn adaptive coping mechanisms that will serve them well outside of those learning spaces.

i think these questions are so important because most college instructors are VERY aware that our students come into our classrooms carrying many different kinds of trauma—whether it’s the more extreme forms that we tend to think of when we think about trauma (childhood abuse, sexual assault, trauma experienced by combat veterans or refugees from warzones), or the forms of pervasive lowgrade trauma associated with financial precarity, racialized stress, etc., or even just the “lighter” or harder-to-classify forms of trauma that rachel naomi remen calls “the cultural shadow” (i.e., the toxic dominant culture that many of us grow up immersed in). and anyone who has taught at the college level (or taught any age level) knows that as a teacher you often have to at least temporarily play aspects of counselor / social worker / person adept at navigating university bureaucracy to help keep students in crisis from slipping through the cracks. (that is obviously NOT ideal, as those roles should be filled by trained professionals! but we have all been in those situations, where you are the first line of support for a student in crisis, or sometimes the last line of support because they have slipped through the giant holes in our country’s social safety nets.)

i think there’s been a shift in recent years towards “trauma-informed pedagogy,” but the slightly watered-down version of this approach many instructors receive tends to be very focused on mitigating harm in the classroom (ie, avoiding certain things or framing material in certain ways so as to avoid re-traumatizing students). this work is obviously HUGELY important (and my own research project is v much informed by it!). but i sometimes feel like these approaches are very damage-centered, ie very focused on understanding how students are “damaged” by their experiences and how we can “prevent further damage” in the classroom space. again, wanting to adopt teaching practices that avoid retraumatizing students is a good thing!!! but i think what i am hoping my work can do is suggest that we can and should strive for more than just limiting damage. to put this another way: i’m looking for ways to go beyond asking “how can we avoid re-traumatizing students in our classrooms?” to thinking more broadly about how we (as teachers, mentors, etc) can design learning environments and learning experiences that help students grow into healthier, happier, more emotionally resilient versions of themselves—and hopefully help build a foundation of social-emotional skills that they will take with them into their adult lives.

play is not the sole "answer” or solution! but i think that for me, it’s been one useful way to think about things like trauma-informed teaching, restorative practices, and social-emotional mentoring strategies, in ways that center a more positive, joyful understanding of what happy and emotionally well-adjusted adulthood can look/feel like. does that make sense?? i think about cultivating playfulness as just one angle onto answering these questions, or as one approach or set of strategies that people could have in their toolkits as they think about how we design learning environments. it won’t work for all students or all teachers or all learning environments, and it won’t solve all of the problems in higher ed (or in a culture where traumatic experiences are so prevalent and yet are so often left unacknowledged and untreated). but i think for me at least it’s been one generative way to reimagine some of the common structures and norms that structure higher ed learning environments.

anyway sorry to use your ask as a springboard into a long “thinking aloud” post!! but i really enjoyed reading your thoughts and i feel like it’s prompted me to articulate some thoughts that have just been sort of murkily floating around in my mind for the last couple weeks. i am also so glad for you that you have a space in your own life (and a trusted teacher figure) where you feel secure & can practice and explore being vulnerable, making mistakes, being silly/playful, etc. it sounds like she is a really wonderful teacher, and it’s so cool too that you are able to describe the ways in which that learning space has felt healing or healthy for you.

[itsclydebitches]

I was rewatching the hhbomberguy RWBY video and he uses a scene from V1 where Oobleck talks about the Faunus and then asks "have any of you been discriminated against". Looking at it it's like wow u can really tell a white person wrote this. "Hey kids, wanna out yourselves to your classmates as victims of systemic racist violence and abuse?" I have so many issues with the Faunus plot and I feel like they all stem from here.

This exactly. Because yeah, on the surface it might seem like a good or fine thing if you’re coming from that place of privilege. I’m guilty of thinking that way until taught otherwise: “This gives students the chance to discuss very important topics in a safe environment!” is usually the thought process whereas really it’s more “This authority figure is pressuring you to out yourself, potentially endanger yourself, and share traumatic experiences among a group of strangers in an environment that realistically doesn’t feel half as safe for you as it does the instructor.” Moments like this re-emphasize to me that RT hasn’t bothered to speak to the members of the groups whose oppression they’re using as an allegory because it is supremely easy to find people who, entirely unprompted, will reveal that something like this is uncomfortable at best and dangerous at worst. I have literally had those conversations on an average Tuesday afternoon: “Hey, Clyde. Can you fucking believe this instructor called on me, the only black person in this class, to talk about racism?” Writing moments like this aren’t actively malicious, but they’re definitely tone deaf and speak to the authors’ ignorance - an ignorance that is a huge problem when they’re trying to write about such a complicated, nuanced topic. 

For me, that moment with Oobleck is even worse than your average teacher calling on a minority to talk about their experiences (or in this case admit to them) because Beacon, in-world, is incredibly small. The racism there is in no way subtle. Our introduction to Velvet is Cardin pulling on her ears in full view of the entire cafeteria. 

No one does anything to stop this and thus Cardin is comfortable continuing to enact cruelties in full view of whoever may be nearby. (The fact that the story then conflates racist targeting - Velvet - with generic bullying - Jaune - doesn’t help matters.) Cardin is comfortable enough doing this to an upper level student too. There’s no way the other instructors aren’t aware that this is happening when Cardin keeps pulling this shit in the most overt, obvious ways possible. This isn’t bullying in the bathroom deliberately away from prying eyes, it’s him targeting Velvet in front of the whole school, knowing he won’t face any consequences for that. As a result, this reads less like a truly ignorant instructor asking a bad question and more like an instructor who is willfully ignoring this school-wide problem while likewise still asking students like Velvet to admit to being targeted - while Cardin is in that class! - so that he can tut, say how horrible it is, and then move on, doing nothing about it. It reads as performative. 

And if our reaction to all this is, “That doesn’t sound like Oobleck! He’s such a good, nice guy who is clearly trying to enact change through his teaching” then we’ve hit on one of RWBY’s many, many problems. In the hands of better writers Oobleck could be an important look at how white people may want to be allies, may think they’re being great allies, but are unintentionally still doing a lot of harm by both action (asking that question) and inaction (never punishing Cardin). Oobleck might have been set up to learn something and become a better ally in the process... but that’s not the kind of nuance RWBY is capable of. So instead we just have this contrast existing because the writers themselves are ignorant, not because they’re skillfully writing a flawed character who they eventually want to teach the audience something with. The concept of, “You’re trying to do good but don’t yet know enough to succeed” is so important because all allies struggle with this - we all do stupid, ignorant, and even damaging things in an attempt to be helpful - and Oobleck could have given us some insight into that... but that requires understanding all this in the first place. 

[k7l4d4]

Owl House AU Ideas, ZA THIRD!!

Once more, I AM HERE! WITH AN IDEA! (Man I love how hammy All Might is) This next one is bit lighter-tempered than my prior ideas, and is a crossover to boot! This AU crosses the Owl House with one of my favorite anime and game franchises, so I hope you all don’t think less of me for putting it out there... ANYWAY ON TO THE IDEA!

Basically, my idea is a Crossover with Arc-V, with Hexside being an elite Duel School that had been assimilated by the Leo Institute, causing a huge number of students and faculty to leave out of protest. Of those left behind were the Blight Siblings and Lilith, who is teacher at Hexside in this idea, with Amity rendered bitter and despondent over all her friends leaving. While most of those who left Hexside go their separate ways, Luz and her friends, along with Eda, transfer over to You Show and become friends with Yuya and the gang. Hexside's tracks are different in this AU, with each track representing a type of dueling or aspect of the duel/entertainment industry. The Abominations track is replaced with the Summoner's course, specializing in the Extra Deck summoning methods and experimentation, as well as attempts to create new summoning methods. The Oracle Track is replaced with Analytics course, where students study up on how to best research duelists and decks and how to apply it, as well as Ritual Summoning and deck manipulation. The Construction Track is switched with the Industrial course, which teaches students how to build, alter, and repair all the gear that goes into modern dueling, such as Duel Disks and the ARC system, they are often taught Boring But Sensible plays, with decks that prioritize an effective win over a flashy win. The Beast Keeping Track is now the Designer's course, where aspiring card designers learn the ins and out of the industry, they often possess unusual decks with an emphasis on combos and making use of difficult to play cards (Note, many of the students in the Designer course believe in Duel Spirits). The Bard track is now the Idol course, which teaches students how to be dueling idols along with the skills needed to work in that section of the industry, with decks prioritizing deck outs and burn damage. The Illusions track is the Dueltaining course, which teaches the students showmanship and acrobatics, the students of this course often use resource intensive decks with a lot of flash. The Healing Track here is the Recovery course, along with teaching students how to best recover and manage their life points and deck resources, they also teach students how to treat any injuries that might occur during an action duel along with psychology to aid those who suffer traumatic accidents while dueling on an action field. The Plant Track is known here as the Resource course, which teaches aspiring duelists how to make best use of their decks and the cards within, with many duelists in it playing a Defend The Castle play style, building their entire decks around bringing out a massively powerful monster and Keeping it there by any many means they can. The Potions Track is now the Implementation Course, which teaches students dueling formula and strategy, with many of the duelists employing multiple decks so that they have an answer to any situation (otherwise known as Bastion's dream class). Amity is considered one of the best duelists of her generation, knowing all the currently known Extra Deck Summons, and picking up Pendulum Summoning after seeing it ONCE, and is capable of performing all the summoning methods on the level of their respective dimensions, something which severely unnerved Sora during the School Duel. Amity was known as one of Hexside's twin Queens, specifically known as The Apex, alongside Luz, The Rainbow. Luz promised Amity that they would stick together throughout their careers, and Amity was left shocked and hurt when Luz withdrew from Hexside following Leo's takeover, something she herself couldn't do as a result of her parents backing the transaction; during their next duel, Amity kept a stoic face throughout, until Luz's peppy antics caused her to snap at her in frustration, with the subsequent information that Luz's mom had withdrawn her without her consent nearly breaking Amity, who realized her anger was for nothing. Amity's skill quickly earned her a place as one of Leo's best, and seeing her being dueled so evenly, when none of the present Leo students had been able to make her so much as sweat, as well as be defeated, were left extremely shaken, with Henrietta herself completely floored, as her research had shown Luz to have no better a win record than Yuya did at the start of Canon (To clarify, Luz deliberately plays at the same level of her opponent(s) at all times, so that she can better help them improve their skills, which severely skews all known data on her, as she is actually on the level of a Pro by the time of Canon). In this story, the rift between the Clawthornes is rather different; originally, they were a dueling Tag Team at the very start of Action Duels, but a mishap resulted in Eda being seriously injured, sparking a huge safety reform, resulting in action duels being playable at a level safe for kids in the form of the Junior division. While Eda eventually recovered, her career as a Pro was essentially ended, sparking a deep bitterness against the Leo Corporation, who she held responsible for her injury. She and Lilith later joined Hexside as faculty, with Eda leaving in protest when the school was bought out by Leo; when she learned that Lilith had stayed, she grew angry and cut ties, in spite of the urging against the act by her friends and loved ones. Due to not being cursed, Eda is significantly more youthful in appearance than in The Owl House, possessing vibrant red hair. As a result of her sparking the mass exodus from Hexside, the Leo Institute and Corporation both received a lot of negative publicity, with the scrutiny resulting in frigid hostility from Henrietta when she and Eda met in the School Duel. On Lilith's side of the feud, the day prior to Hexside being bought, Lilith was offered and gleefully accepted a promotion (note, she and Eda already had a significant difference in position within Hexside, but neither let it interfere with their relationship, as Eda was always happy when Lilith rose through the ranks), but one aspect of the promotion was a contract which prevented her from quitting, something that left her horrified when she learned what had happened to the school. After coming to terms with her position, Lilith decided to use her situation to learn what had become of Leo Akaba, who she blamed for her sister's suffering, along with herself, and, in her words, "remove that worthless speck of a man from the face of the Earth." Lilith's position at Hexside acts as a calming incident for those students who remained following the exodus, causing her to adopt a pseudo-maternal role for Amity as compared to their cooler relationship in canon. Oh, almost forgot to mention, during their duel, Luz maintained a perfectly even head the entire time, only to be shocked when Amity Ritual Summoned, something she had known how to do in theory but had never actually performed up until then.

As Always, feel free to ask questions, give comments, or use the idea as you see fit, not that I think this’ll attract a very big audience. Just throwing it out there.

[firespirited]

I have chosen to participate in offline activism for Palestine only and here's why:

We have masses of research about the effects of violent imagery since the Columbine shootings and recruitment into death cults including Al-Qaeda, ISIS, QAnon, White supremacy and of course the army.

We have the testimony of AIDS activists, friends and relatives of victims of police killings and victims of war. Sociological research on how middle eastern/Muslim immigrants/students are treated because of being painted as either victims or aggressors not full people.

We have the testimonials of burnt out activists traumatized by imagery of people who look like them and studies by various departments of defence & policing on how to use this imagery as demoralizing propaganda.

Personally, I have come to believe that awareness campaigns MUST centre human stories that are neither inspirational porn nor shock imagery or they backfire by causing feelings of powerlessness or disgust. Whether it's autism awareness, police violence or a war crime: painting the wrong picture in a short-sighted effort can have long term damaging effects.

So here it is: I don't care if it's genocide, you are sharing snuff imagery that does exactly what the Israeli and USA military want it to do: make you associate brown bodies with distress. (also this might be your first but it will not be your last witnessed genocide) Some of the people watching will disengage from burn out or will be radicalized to go off to kill/die for a cause. Some people will associate brown skin and arabic with the distress they feel now and continue to otherize people they meet throughout their life that match that description. Guess what? We have so much research on anti-Semitism that applies to both palestinians and muslim/jewish people worldwide taking collateral social damage here.

A lot of this activism is shamefully uneducated and uninterested in educating. I've seen whole threads on tumblr, of grown adults, acting like Israel invented war crimes and because you and I are part of minority groups facing our own bigotries we have no responsibility, nothing to unlearn. Even though the carceral, punitive, retributive mindset is in the tags and comments.

People posting snippets of Angela Davis or Cornel West et al. on Palestine without the full context of how we need to root out exactly that kind of blood feud and false "justice" masquerading as order and false "accountability" from our communities, even our small groups. It's like MLK whitewashing levels of taking a quote without taking in the rest of their work, you know?

We need to be funnelling people who want to *do* something towards long term efforts, groups that *build* something or at least teach folks about the basic ethics of posting brutalized bodies no matter how well-meaning you are. (I could also talk at length about coverage of Jim Crow, miners strikes, #metoo and abortion trauma stories being counterproductive despite people's best efforts)

This is not the way: take the fight offline, always fully humanize the people you want to protect and use your energies to build community and incremental achievable goals. I know it feels urgent and important but the way we fight matters: there are more effective means to help Palestine now AND ten-twenty years from now and all of them involve deliberately NOT trauma posting.

It seems wrong but if you link up with offline, on the ground activist groups: they will tell you the same things: they want a well-educated, well grounded, supportive community of people who are funnelling their anger towards concrete actions, able to withstand setbacks, able to counter dissent and apathy with resilience and grace.

i do think there is a degree to which certain kinds of Instagram activists have convinced themselves that traumatising themselves in solidarity is a useful form of activism. "I'm having nightmares and crying so much I want to be sick because of all these videos of dying children but I can't look away while people are getting hurt" I mean don't you think you'd be able to help more if you weren't having nightmares and crying all the time?? don't you think this is a one-way trip to burnout? don't you think maybe increasing the amount of trauma going around is counterproductive? I dunno bro there's something to be said for bearing witness but there comes a point where you gotta look hard at yourself and go "am I helping, or am I just making myself suffer so I don't feel guilty for not suffering while somebody else is experiencing bad shit"

[primanoctis]

deleted scene from my active fanfic on A03; Larina learns the dark past about Markarth’s Justiciar from Aicantar. 

Corrilian of Skwatch’s past.... | The Flower of Markarth Fanfic

“Your past was just as traumatic as his Larina and yet you turned out the opposite, you couldn’t be cruel if you tried” Aicantar’s sighed with annoyance. 

Larina shook her head, “you keep telling me that he’s dangerous and that I should stay away, how we both share such as tragic past yet you won’t tell me anything at all. You both studied together didn’t you? You must have spent years together” echoing his own exasperation. Sitting beside the small Breton, Aicantar explained, 

“For a while we were friends yes, until he was expelled from the college” at his words Larina raised her eyebrows. If he had been removed from his studies before they were complete why did the Thalmor employ him? Sensing her confusion Aicantar began.

- 

“I suppose in a way you can blame his father for his adoption by the Thalmor. There’s a reason why the people of Skyrim assume all altmer look down upon them, people like Corrilian’s father believed in the inferiority of other races before the Thalmor came to power, and supported them wholly. My uncle told me after the Oblivion Crisis there were many who were skeptical of how involved they were in destroying the oblivion gates, but anyone who questions them were exiled, and killed. Many groups led purges against anyone they thought were unworthy in our society, supported fully by the Thalmor: many people did nothing incase they would be targeted next, some like Corrilian’s father were actively involved” the anger in Aicantar’s words was palpable. 

“But even by their standards his father’s position in society was somewhat looked down upon, and it was taken out on Corrilian at the college. His father, Kardyrian, rose to prominence in the Aldmeri Navy for his prowess and his cruelty. Something happened that forced him to step down, whether Corrilian knew what he never said and with his experience and power, Kardyrian became a ruthless merchant in Skywatch. The East Empire Company had to work with him in order to trade with Northern Summerset, he had obliterated his competitors. 

Knowing that he would need an heir to continue on his legacy, Kardyrian used his power and money to buy the hand of his mother, Irinwe. Their relationship never made sense to him, he said it wasn’t one built on love, clearly with only a monetary gain. She wasn’t a noblewoman either, apparently his father despised them at first, until he was forced to share his life with her. 

His mother wasn’t fond of those balls and those people, said his mother was much quieter and prefered to stay at home with him, much to his father’s ire. Anway, a few years after their marriage, Irinwe gave birth to her first son, surprisingly slow even by our standards --”

“Corrilian has never mentioned having a brother” Larina impulsively interrupted him. Aicantar raised an eyebrow and she silenced herself, allowing him to continue. 

--

“His brother Astirian was what my people call the hulkynd, broken children, children abandoned because of deformities or imperfections. These children are usually cast out by their families, but Irinwe convinced her husband to raise him, evidently his imperfections were not that bad. They raised him hoping that he would join the Aldmeri Navy until it was time for him to take over his father’s work.  But something happened, his father had been informed to his son being involved in some pretty shady stuff, most likely illegal. Corrilian never really explained what, but it was enough for their father to disown him and pretend he never existed. 

His father still wanted an heir of course and along he came. He said his mother was overly affectionate of him, perhaps to make up for the fact that his father kept his distance, whatever attention he gave him certainly wasn’t good. He never knew he had an older sibling”. 

--

As he paused for breath, Larina asked, “So how do you know all of this?” wondering what his involvement was.

For a moment Aicantar looked uncomfortable before responding, 

“When we first arrived at the college, there were a few days to settle in before the teaching began, with each one of us having to individually prove to the mages our skills. Most of the students interacted together but Corrilian remained on the sidelines, he was worse than he is now, silent and aloof. At the time I thought it was shyness, only to realise how bad his superiority complex was. After his test he came returned to our rooms smug that he had impressed the mages through fear. Most of us would cast simple spells that showed off our power, after all our magickal capabilities were not unquestionable, it was only harder for the very few non altermis students.

For his test Corrilian deliberately slit the throat of a goat he had brought from the village and reanimated it for a surprising amount of time, with sentience” necromancy, Larina shuddered at the prospect. She was aware that it was more openly performed amongst the mer but the dark magick scared her. 

“The other students were slightly afraid of him, some worried that he might summon a dremora lord to slaughter them in their sleep” Aicantar continued, rolling his eyes. “I found him interesting and asked him why he had been sent to the college, and he revealed he had been forced to attend by his family. 

[kalinara]

I know you love Lukey Lou, so I wanted to ask: Why did you like his character arc in TLJ? A lot of people, including myself and Mark Hamill, felt it was poorly written and out of character.

A lot of people who hate TLJ LOVE to pass around Mark Hamill’s extremely out of context quotes about his INITIAL reaction to learning about Luke’s arc.  When he discusses the final product, he is a lot less negative.

But even if he dislikes TLJ, that’s okay, that’s his business.  Death of the Author applies to everyone involved in the creative process, and it’s okay for fans and showrunners/writers/actors to see a character in a different way.

I think though that a lot of critics of Luke’s arc in TLJ miss that it’s just that.  An ARC.  Luke at the beginning of TLJ is not the same person as Luke at the end of TLJ.  He has his own despair and trauma to face.

Luke, in TLJ, doesn’t read all that different from Luke in Legends to me, fundamentally.  It’s just that they’ve faced different things.  There are points in Legends where Luke suffers despair and depression just like he does in TLJ, but there are also other factors going on.  Luke has his order, for one.  And the Yuzhan Vong war.  He has Mara, and Ben (Skywalker), and Jaina.  He has his students and everything else to help him keep from giving in to those emotions.

Luke in TLJ is from a continuity that doesn’t have these things.  He doesn’t have a wife and child.  He doesn’t have his Order.  And Luke has a more personal connection to Kylo’s fall than he had with Jacen’s in Legends.  By the time Jacen had fallen, he’d graduated Jedi training.  He had his own life and issues.  And Jacen never really retaliated (or was the unwitting tool of retaliation) against the Jedi Order itself.  

But as Luke sees it, he’s directly responsible for Kylo’s fall.  He blames himself.  I personally disagree with Luke’s assessment, and I think the Last Jedi does too.  Luke gave in to a moment of weakness and fear.  He had a vision that told him (correctly!) that Kylo was or would become a monster.  A lot of folk hate the idea that Luke would, for one instant, even consider killing his innocent nephew.  But I think they miss or ignore that a) Kylo was a grown adult, not a child, b) the Force vision WAS CORRECT: Kylo DID become a monster that would massacre (multiple!) villages, murder unarmed old men, and be a direct participant in child slavery and genocide, and the most important c) Luke STOPPED HIMSELF.

I don’t personally think it’s out of character for Luke to momentarily give into fear and despair.  If he had ACTUALLY killed Ben Solo, that’d be one thing.  But he didn’t.  He stopped himself.

It’s interesting though to parallel Luke’s reaction to those events with “Ben Solo’s” own, because as much as I’m skeptical of the comic book series’s retcon of Kylo’s responsibility for the destruction of the Jedi Temple.  I do like how it expressly puts Kylo and Luke in the same position.

Ben (a grown adult, I reiterate) wakes up to find his uncle standing over him with a lightsaber.  His uncle doesn’t actually strike, but it’s understandable that Ben lashes out at that moment.  He thinks he killed him.  He’s horrified.  And Palpatine acts.  The Temple is destroyed.

So when you think about it.  Ben and Luke are in EXACTLY the same position in the immediate aftermath of the Temple’s destruction.  As far as I know, neither one of them is aware of Palpatine’s direct role in events.  All both of them know is that they suddenly found themselves in positions causing great fear and anger, they lashed out in said fear and anger against someone that they loved, and as a result everything was destroyed.

Now both characters had the option of going back to Hosnian Prime.  Leia and Han love both characters.  They would have listened to their explanations as to what happened.  They would have been horrified and angry, but they would have forgiven them and focused more on what they could do to help fix things.

But both characters blame themselves for what happened.  And both characters believe that they’ve done something unforgivable.

What’s important though is what happens next.  Now me, personally, I don’t mind the comic retcon because to me, the destruction of the Jedi Temple was always the least of Kylo’s crimes.  It was awful, of course.  But there’s a difference between a sudden act of fear and rage (see also: Anakin’s destruction of the Tuskan village) and the kind of deliberately evil deeds that Kylo Ren does later.

Regardless of whether or not Kylo lashed out and brought down the temple at that moment, he DEFINITELY stood in the middle of Tuanil, looking out at the army he helped to enslave and brainwash, and ordered them to fire on disarmed, pacified civilians.  (If Finn, who was brainwashed and surrounded by commanding officers and comrades who could kill him in a heartbeat, could realize “no, I’m not doing this”, then Kylo, who was GIVING THE ORDER, could have stopped this as well.)

There’s a point where characters have to own their choices.  Even if Kylo didn’t feel like he could go home, he didn’t HAVE to join a organization that’s been enslaving children and planning genocide.  He didn’t HAVE to take part in the violence and murder.  He could have done what Luke did.

Luke went into exile.  And I see fans attack that choice as “cowardly” or “selfish”, but I disagree.  Yes, Luke could have chosen instead to go to Hosnian Prime.  He could have gone to Han and Leia and he didn’t.  He could have tried to hunt down Kylo.  He could have joined in the fight against the First Order.  He could have been a hero here, like he’d been before.  

But we’ve seen what happens when a very powerful man, prone to self-loathing and despair, decides to do the “selfless” thing and become a hero.  That’s the Clone Wars in a nutshell.  What if Anakin had, after Attack of the Clones, looked around and said “Oh my god.  I just lost my mother.  I just massacred a village.  I  can’t be a soldier right now!  I need to deal with the horrible thing I’ve just done!”

We might still have had the Fall of the Republic and Order #66 (Palpatine isn’t one to discard his whole plans), but we probably wouldn’t have had Darth Vader.

And Luke knows that.  He saw what his father became.  And if anything, Luke’s more powerful than Anakin ever was.  Look at what he did on Crait.  We’ve never seen anything like that.  Look at what he can do AS A FORCE GHOST.

Now imagine what THAT would be like on the Dark Side?

I don’t know if I believe that Luke was ever seriously in danger of going Dark Side.  He isn’t prone to externalizing anger and lashing out in the same way Anakin was.  (Leia, I think, might be in more danger of that, depending on circumstances.  But thankfully, Leia has always known how to focus her anger in constructive ways.  She gets that from Padme and Bail.)  But I believe that LUKE believes he was.  And that through his exile, Luke was trying to protect the galaxy.

And that’s the BEGINNING of his story in the Last Jedi.  Because Luke has his own arc there just like Rey and Kylo do.  Luke starts off the Last Jedi in a very bad place: full of despair and self-loathing.  He blames himself for what happened to Kylo.  He’s convinced himself that he had been wrong to try to bring back the Jedi.  (But even then, he’s still preserving the books.)

Folks compare his role to Obi-Wan on Tatooine and Yoda on Dagobah, and I think that’s fair, to an extent.  But there are differences.  Obi-Wan was never in exile.  He was on Tatooine for a purpose.  He ALWAYS meant to teach Luke about his father’s legacy and protect him and train him going forward.   He leaps at the call to go help Leia, and immediately uses that opportunity to sweep Luke along.   

Yoda’s a closer comparison, really.  Since his exile is really an exile.  (Though Rebels shows that he’s not completely inactive.)  But for all that Yoda eventually helps train Luke, his story pretty much ends there.  He doesn’t take an active role after that point.

Even as he trains Rey, Luke has to come to terms with his own very complicated emotions about Kylo Ren, his fall, and the loss of the Jedi Order.  He has to move past his self-loathing and accept that Kylo made his own choices, and that he’s made HIS own choices.  He realizes/remembers that the Jedi are more than just books/old knowledge, they’re people too.  And his “I am not the last Jedi” is a really important moment that a lot of people like to ignore.  (Especially those edgelords who love the idea that TLJ showed us why the Jedi shouldn’t exist, which seriously misses the point of the movie.)

Luke at the end of the movie is not the same person he was at the start.  He’s remembered who he is.  He faces his own failure, and the parts that aren’t his fault.  He reunites with his sister, gets her forgiveness, and goes out to face his nephew without hesitation or self-blame.  He dies, but in the process, he buys them the time they need to escape.  And well, as we’ve seen in Star Wars, becoming one with the Force is not always the end of the story.  :-)

So yes, I like Luke’s arc in the Last Jedi.  It’s hard to watch, because it’s not what I would have wanted for the character.  I don’t like the thought of Luke being unhappy and traumatized, and having lost everything.  But that’s not the end of the story.  Luke at the END of the Last Jedi is everything he was always supposed to be.  He just lost his way a little bit before that.  What matters is that he found his way back.

[lethesomething]

Notes on my Black Eagles class, if I was a proper teacher

I’ve been playing Fire Emblem Three Houses and I love it, but the Adult in me has Questions. (some spoilers to follow)

 Edelgard: Hard worker and a definite class leader. She does however take on quite a bit and can be overbearing to her classmates. I would like to see her try to make some more time to relax and perhaps enjoy her school days more. I have never seen her laugh.

Hubert: A very serious and intelligent student, who sadly, and apparently deliberately, frightens most of his classmates and teachers. He has sent me thinly veiled death threats on numerous occasions, which is deeply disturbing. Utterly devoted to Edelgard, but should socialize a bit outside of that circle, preferably in a non-threatening manner.

Ferdinand: Diligent, seems quite earnest but is prone to unsolicited shouting out of his lineage, quite often at inopportune times. Confident. Sadly, he is resistent to most forms of criticism, making it hard to teach anything outside of his interests. Has a strange rivalry with Edelgard.

Bernadetta: Deeply insecure, which is understandable considering her home life. I'm attaching a report for child protection services. At the very least, I (and possibly my sword) would like to have some Stern Words with her parents about her upbringing. Well meaning and fragile but luckily she is growing into a less frightened young woman. I have confidence that with the right guidance she may overcome most of her difficulties.

Linhardt: Very smart but unmotivated student. I fear he has an issue with some classes not being challenging enough for him. Or he could be lazy. Either way, his grades are good, but his attendance is not. Very blunt in his mannerisms and honestly, he should know better.

Caspar: A highly energetic and motivated student, but he does have trouble keeping his voice down. Seems very eager to prove himself, and is a joy to have in a classroom.

Petra: This exchange student is doing quite well and has managed to fit in with the group. Friendly and sociable, her grasp of her second language is not a hindrance to anything but her self esteem. Does push herself too hard. Like Edelgard, would benefit from some relaxation time.

Dorothea: A social butterfly with a sharp tongue and a keen mind. Studies hard and seems quite popular in the group despite certain… class tensions with some of the nobles. Working points: for a young woman of her talent, she does appear to have quite low self esteem.

Sylvain: A new transfer to the class. Intelligent and athletic, but quite, let's say, carefree in his ways. The way he interacts with others, particularly young women, is bound to get him in trouble sooner rather than later. Extra note: an exercise involving field work right after his joining my class horrifically resulted in the death of Sylvain's brother, possibly even at his hand. This is obviously a traumatizing event and I have tried talking to him about it but he appears unaffected, almost cheerful, even. I'm submitting a request to have him see the counsellor.

Flayn: A young transfer to my class, after… Am I reading that right? She was kidnapped for a MONTH!? Why are you putting her in my class right after? She needs some therapy at the very least - oh her brother is the dean? Right. Anyway. Earnest worker if a bit flightly. Seems unused to social interaction. I would love her to fit in well in the group.

Monica: … A year. She was gone an entire Year??? And we're pretending that didn't happen? She's gonna sit in my class and be super diligent and cheerful so she can graduate. Are we not gonna talk about how no one in this institution noticed her gone? Did her parents not miss her? What is wrong with you people? Goddess help us all.

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

ok so like. obvs tw for csa, but also incest and bulimia. (specifically vomit. sorry to my fellow emetophobes.) ima stick this all under the cut so ppl can scroll past if they dont wanna see

so its a lot of little throwaway lines and parallels that culminate in me thinking its more than just coincidence. i am not saying the writers sat down and thought it through to this extent deliberately, this is just me extrapolating on the actions of the characters i see in front of me, and the way the scenes are set back to back in ways that connect them.

but basically my theory is that the cattons have a history of incestuous abuse, but theyre fully in denial of it. theres a lot of hints, but the biggest clue is elspeths conversation with oliver, about venetia being hypersexual and bulimic. specifically since she was 14. hypersexuality is a trauma response. and the way elspeth puts it, the bulimia is directly related to whatever underlying issues is causing it.

this convo is the most blatant time they point out the linkage between vomiting and sexuality, but once you notice it, that motif is EVERYWHERE. after annabelle nearly hooks up with oliver (only to make felix jealous!! this is important later), we smashcut to vomit on olivers mirror. when oliver spins his sob story to felix abt his fake parents, he specifically starts out with the line, "the first time i felt the inside of my mothers throat, i was 8." he goes on to clarify that this is about making her vomit, (presumably pills), but before that context is provided, it sounds... jarringly sexual. theres also the general motif of fingers in a throat/mouth, with oliver and venetias sex scene as he orders her to eat, and later in the bathtub when she catches onto his deception. also oliver making himself throw up the poisoned alchohol he gave felix, after his confession of attraction didnt get him what he wanted.

but its not just venetia thats hypersexual, its also farleigh. though he seems to use sex as a deliberate tool, rather than being driven to it out of traumatic desire as venetia is. thats not to say farleigh is some sort of evil seductive mastermind. he is undoubtedly a victim in this situation, particularly when you consider the ppl hes apparently sleeping with are his teachers. which brings me to my next point.

theres a scene in oxford where oliver and felix are chatting, making fun of a student for wanting to get into a girls pants. oliver asks, "what do they teach you at these schools?" felix responds, "latin...and child abuse", placing his hand in olivers thigh. its meant as a tasteless joke from felix, but given we know that farleigh actually has slept with his teachers...its hard to not take it seriously.

oliver proceeds to dare felix to sleep with the girl in question, which he does. this is part of a running theme of felix treating the women he sleeps with as disposable. (just as he disposes of oliver and annabelle in turn.) when oliver sleeps with venetia, felix is *seething* with jealousy. and venetia comments to oliver that shes unsurprised, given felix "doesnt like sharing his toys, even ones hes grown bored of".

while we're to understand oliver is the toy in this context, its...honestly not a stretch to me to interpet it possibly being about venetia as well. her hypersexuality must have come from somewhere. she and felix are shown to be very close, often physically so (eg, her sitting in his lap during the karaoke scene, and very close together when theyre watching the ring, her recognizing the smell of his aftershave on oliver, having matching hand tattoos with him)

felix also makes a throwaway comment about uh. accidentally fingering his cousin? and while its entirely possible they have other cousins, the only one mentioned in the entire movie is farleigh.

but wait! it gets worse. heres the thing, i don't think felix is a monster. idk what the age difference is between him and venetia but i dont think its all that much. my theory is hes also a csa victim. immediately after that scene where he jokes about child abuse is the one where oliver picks up felixes childhood photo. which is...certainly a narrative choice.

theres also a couple scenes that just...did not makes sense to me until i considered them through this lense. particularly, the one in which felix tells oliver that his mother has a phobia of facial hair, "something to do with her father", apparently. upon meeting oliver, elspeth adds that she has abhorred ugliness of any kind since childhood, and doesnt know why. this steuck me as weird, since facual hair isnt...usually thought of as "ugly"? until i considered it through the lense of csa. its entirely possible elspeth is a victim of it herself at the hands of her father, hence her aversion, and is just deeply in denial. which would explain her utter bewhilderment at venetias behaviour. bc to recognize it as trauma symptoms would be to recognize her own trauma. and, as evidenced by her non reaction to felix's death, she is not capable of handling that sort of thing.

which, ironically, is what feeds the tragedy of it all. the cattons already clearly are a case of intergenerational trauma. felix gets his white knight complex from his mothers own obsession with others trauma, projecting his own desire to process his family dysfunction onto oliver, who just makes shit up to satiate him. elspeth hands venetias personal business to oliver on a silver platter, which he promptly uses to manipulate her, to make felix jealous.

but venetia isnt without agency. and felix clearly isnt without his own baggage. while i really dont see elpseth being an abuser herself (beyond emotionally), i think its entirely possible both felix and elspeth were victims of elspeths late father, and in turn, felix slept with venetia at some point in their youth. and possibly even farleigh for that matter. (though as he said, it was by accident. likely because farleigh doesnt "look" related to them, meaning they wouldnt have initially recognized the blood relation till it was too late. especially if farleigh didnt grow up in england with them, as is implied he didnt.)

idk. again, im not saying its explicitly canon. just that theres too many parallels and throwaway lines for me to not extrapolate on it. i think itd explain a lot aboit their dynamic as a whole. and its patticularly interesting to me how oliver fits into all of this. ive seen ppl comment how funny it is that oliver is dominant with venetia and farleigh, but clearly wants to be submissive with felix.

taking the interpretation that venetia and possibly farleigh are both... discarded toys of felix's, so to speak, (and again, felix himself being a victim of csa in this case, and...possibly hypersexual himself, now i think about it) theres the implication that theyre both vying for his attention still, and oliver is simply standing in for that role. especially given he literally uses felixes tactics of manipulation on them- with venetia, he uses his knowledge of her from elspeth to posit himself as a white knight who cares about her sob story. with farleigh, it is a little different. he offers the comfort and emotional support about his mother that he recently learned felix refused to offer. its more like hes standing in to replace felix, be the version of him that isnt bored and unsympathetic of them yet. its majorly fucked up! but so is oliver and so is this entire movie, so. there you have it, thats my theory.

oh, also some honorable mentions would be:

- the whole "real boy" commentary from farleigh, paralleled by elspeth only sleeping with oliver once hes "grown up"

- the scene during the beginning of the birthday party where elsbeth and james are gossiping about "georges daughter who turned out just like her mother" in a deeply disappointed tone before a smashcut to a girl vomiting into the fountain

- oliver tossing the stone w DAD written on it into the river only for it to land next on the shore next to a wine bottle and what appears to be a puddle of vomit

- felix's comment about harry hermione and ron having threesomes, to which venetia agrees, and farleigh chimes in that theyd be "missing out if they didnt." normal family conversation!

- the whole...entire interaction between venetia and oliver in the bathtub discussinn felix after his death. the same bathtub where uh. yeah

- farleighs comment immediately after venetias doppelganger story, saying "i heard he fucked his sister", which. hello???????? (bonus for oliver interjecting "i heard that was byron", implying he is byron and venetia is the sister in this scenario. Hrmm)

- elsepths comment as she subtly flirts with oliver as theyre all sat at the lake that she "never wants to know anything" which. while i realize it was meant to be comedic if taken seriously could make sense if she has actual repressed trauma

- when theyre all planning olivers birthday and venetia says "itll be getting molested by henry. you know which one" and instead of taking this seriously in any way, elspeth just goes "ill sit you next to oliver, he can molest you instead". SORRY??? HELLO??

- i also just remembered elspeth actually vomits during the curtain+coroner scene??? which. if we're going with the interpretation that theres a deliberate motif linking that with sexuality...that...does actually indicate that she had smth to do with felix. which. Yikes. (but would make sense with how his behaviour was always so directly tied to hers)

so like. is anybody gonna talk about the csa themes in saltburn or am i gonna have to do it myself