#tw; abuse

[second-wife-playbook]

Striker's voice felt like a cruel accusation. Like it was her fault Vivian was dying.

And curled up on her cot, with Striker looking down on her like that. Reminding her of what was happening, reinforcing it with every harsh reality....he sounded like-

".....you're....." She trembled. "....y-you're....just like the Cardinal-"

It was only the second time he could have heard her voice without a hard stammer. Somehow, the despair pounded it out.

"Y-you say you want to....to escape. But last time-" She shuddered hard, as if the tremble in her voice had to be choked down. "-yo-you said....the both of us." Not the entire Hollows. Not Vivian. Just Striker and herself. "Do you....really think, I didn't remember you saying that?"

It was like sitting in front of the Cardinal at eight years old, sobbing and crying as he pressed her for information about the Goetia. She had given it, because he had looked so terrifying, but shortly after she had been thrown into this cell. Left to tremble alone in the dark, eating enough to survive, only allowed to endure.

"D-do you th-think it's my...." She sobbed. "M-my f-fault she's d-dying? D-do you think I-...I did this??" Coronis gave a heavy gasp and turned her back on him. "Y-you....you don't know anything. You....you don't know how b-bad th-this place gets."

Deliver Us from Evil

((A closed RP thread for @second-wife-playbook ))

Warning! NSFW content (namely torture and violence)

((the dialogues are all in English, aside for a few exceptions, but whenever you see a sentence with a * it means they are speaking Italian.))

––––––––

Vatican City, Italy, 9:00 p.m.

The flickering glow of candlelight cast long shadows along the towering walls of St. Peter’s Basilica, illuminating the gilded arches and intricate mosaics with a warm, ethereal glow. The haunting melody of Gregorian chants filled the sacred space, echoing from the Altare della Confessione and filling every corridor with its solemn resonance. The faithful gathered near the altar, their voices melding into a single, haunting wave of prayer.

Cardinal Graziano Malaspina moved quietly down one of the lesser-used hallways, the sound of his footsteps almost swallowed by the vast silence of the basilica. For once, he did not join the chants, choosing instead to observe from the edges, shrouded in the quiet solitude of the basilica's shadows. Tonight, he felt an odd sense of disquiet—a subtle, unspoken tension that seemed woven into the very air.

He paused at a window, glancing out at the nearly empty square below. The marble and stone, so familiar to him, seemed to almost breathe in the stillness of the night.

Cardinal Malaspina was a striking figure, his presence commanding yet refined.

Standing tall with a lean, dignified frame, he carried himself with the quiet confidence of someone who had risen swiftly through the Church’s ranks.

His Italian heritage showed in his dark, deep-set eyes, which held an intense gaze that could both soothe and unsettle in equal measure.

His hair, thick and precisely combed back, was a distinguished blend of salt and pepper, echoing the silver that flecked his well-groomed beard. The beard itself was neatly trimmed to accentuate the strong, angular lines of his face, adding an air of wisdom to his appearance. His nose, prominent and finely shaped, gave him a slightly aristocratic look, one that complemented his quiet, reserved demeanor.

Despite his relatively young age among the cardinals, having just reached sixty, he bore the wisdom and experience of a man who had seen much in his time with the Church. His crimson cassock fell in sharp lines around him, pristine and orderly, each detail carefully attended to—a testament to his meticulous nature and devotion to his duties.

He cast a wary glance over his shoulder, his eyes scanning the dim hallway for any sign of movement. Satisfied that he was alone, he reached out to the statue of Archangel Michael, knelt down, made the sign of the cross and pressed a small lever concealed along its back.

With a low, almost imperceptible rumble, the statue shifted, rotating on its pedestal to reveal a hidden doorway nestled behind it. The faint hum of machinery stirred, as if acknowledging a secret it had kept for centuries. Beyond the doorway lay a narrow elevator and a spiraling set of marble stairs, both leading downward into the unknown.

Without hesitation, Cardinal Malaspina slipped inside, feeling the air cool and thicken with a sense of sacred secrecy. Once he crossed the threshold, the statue resumed its original position, cloaking the hidden passageway from view. To any passerby, it appeared as though nothing had changed, the Archangel Michael standing steadfast in his silent vigil.

As Cardinal Malaspina descended deeper into the hidden chambers of St. Peter’s Basilica, the echo of his footsteps was joined by those of Guido, his loyal aide and confidant.

Dressed impeccably in a black suit, Guido inclined his head in a respectful bow, murmuring:

*“Your Eminence.”*

He fell into step beside the Cardinal, his tone low but crisp as he relayed the latest report.

*"Our Hunters returned from the United States. They found the hotel but...the demon was already dead. By electrocution, in a swimming pool."*

Guido's tone conveyed his disappointment, though he continued smoothly, *“The Infestor had been haunting the hotel, taking human lives one by one. But by the time they arrived, someone had gotten there first.”*

The Cardinal sighed, a brief flicker of frustration crossing his face.

*"A pity. Such a rare specimen could have proven useful to us in Project Divine Justice. There’s always something new to learn from their nature—if only we can get to them first.”*

They walked past sleek, reinforced doors, which opened into a series of rooms unlike anything one would expect beneath Vatican City. Hidden behind the walls of faith and tradition, the Order of Saint Michael the Archangel’s underground headquarters resembled a modern, highly-equipped facility. Laboratories buzzed with scientists in white coats, analyzing samples and conducting experiments on demon blood, bone, and essence.

In a separate room, instructors led young initiates in the arts of demonology, each student pouring over ancient texts bound in leather, annotated with both Latin prayers and weapon schematics. Further down, hardened agents trained with exorcism rituals and weapon drills, preparing for their next assignment.

Cardinal Malaspina felt a surge of satisfaction as he moved through the corridors, taking in the power and purpose of OSMA’s sprawling network. He had dedicated his life to making the Order one of the most formidable forces the Church had ever sanctioned, one that could confront Hell itself.

In recent years, however, Project Divine Justice had brought his ambitions to a new peak, aiming to capture demons directly from Hell to ensure no secrets were left undiscovered.

*"Of course, it’s more difficult than ever to secure our...acquisitions,"* he mused aloud, glancing at Guido.

*"Few demons are allowed on Earth, and those that do break through are often killed on sight.”*

Guido nodded.

*"That’s why Crimson remains indispensable. With his network, he can bring us exactly what we need, directly from Hell itself.”*

A sly smile tugged at the corner of the Cardinal’s mouth.

Crimson, the demon mafia boss who commanded such power within Hell’s underworld, was a key ally.

For the right price—and perhaps a few thinly veiled promises—Crimson delivered the demonic specimens they needed, hand-delivered to OSMA’s agents, allowing their experiments and training to proceed in earnest.

Their path led to a heavily secured door, marked only with a cross etched into blackened metal. Cardinal Malaspina paused for a moment, laying his hand on the door.

*“When we unlock the true nature of these demons, Guido, the world will be prepared. Humanity will finally be safe from these creatures.”*

"Dio è con noi, Eminenza."

"E noi siamo con Dio."

[tiredly101]

Destroyed...

Paring: Wally Darling x Abused! Male reader

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6

Summary: Wally was on his way Home to see Eddi rather distressed looking for... him? Why is that?

Main Au (Illustrated Au), picture by @fandom-wreck-9000

Wally's pov

I'm walking down the street to go Home, Sally really talked my ear off with her new play. I look around to see Eddi with something that looks similar to red paint in his hands, he looked frantic? Scared, maybe?

"Wally! Thank the rainbows I found you! Something happened to M/n and Home seems angered, I think I don't understand that house," sighted an exasperated Eddie leaving me confused. Home angry, M/n? What could happen?

"Eddie, please tell me that is red paint on you...," I said softly while Eddie looked at the ground sighting.

"I wish I could," was all he had to utter for me to ran back Home. Home's door was broken open and they seemed exasperated, right next to my red arm chair lay M/n holding his stomach while gasping softly for air.

"Hey pretty... boy," said M/n softly while he looked at me with those beautiful eyes of his only that now they looked dull. I had Eddie pick him up and take him to Poppy since she will help him out, I need to know what happened.

"Home... who did this?," I asked softly knowing Home would never hurt M/n on purpose. Home started squeaking and banging multiple thing in a rapid way. They were rambling but I only catched the words 'Josh', 'beat up' and 'M/n' which gave me all the information I needed.

"Can you see him?," I asked to which Home very slowly answered with a squeak of the door which made me smile.

"He ran to the woods? Silly, silly...," I said while walking to the hidden closet inside of Home's walls. I grabbed my axe and started walking away from Home but before anything I need to make sure M/n is okay.

I hide my axe in my pocket and run towards Poppy's house, to see her sniffing softly. She sees me and her eyes seemed to widen in regret.

"Don't tell me he is dead Poppy," I said softly to which she shook her head in an agitated way, I walked towards M/n to see him cover in bandages which made my heart sink slightly. I place a kiss in his forehead and look at Poppy.

"He is in something called a coma but he should wake up in a couple of weeks time," Poppy said making me nod. I get M/n a last kiss in his hand and walk outside and start heading towards the forest to where Home said he should be. He is trying to reach the division between words and that I'm not going to allow that.

The forest and his bloody prints lead me towards him to see him standing just over the edge. I charge towards him and grab him from the back of his shirt before he could jump and throw him against a tree.

His eyes widened in shock seeing me standing only a few feet from him and that shock soon turned to fear when he registered the axe which made me laugh. I bet he didn't feel fear that often!

"Oh Josh, silly, silly. You should have left M/n alone when you had the chance," I said before lifting up my axe and taking the first swing of what would be hours of suffering for this piece of trash.

Should I do a part four? Let me know and I'll tag you if I do!

Tag list:

@mythjustiice @distinguishedpuppyface @pr5is1ng @lunamonkeypower @waywardstardustcollector @thelostboys11 @darling-w

[terrence-silver]

How would terry silver react if he was just passing by somewhere and overheard his beloved one on the phone talking to someone and saying something like "I don't care about that old man anyway i'm only with him for his money"

Is this Cheyenne Hamidi speaking?

Because, I mean, Terry would be devastated and he immediately thinks back to every business arrangement type of situationship he's ever had that was purely monetary in nature and how it didn't matter then, because there was no pretense of love there, perhaps, only the vague illusion purely for formality's sake, to keep the charade going. But, now? Now, for once, there's actually love involved and he cares so very deeply, only to be hit with this whole 'It's all for the money' bullcrap all over again, effectively being betrayed, with his vulnerabilities and trust dangerously trampled on and what's worse?

Behind his back? He's being talked of, made fun of, behind his back?

It would be pretty hard to describe the sheer level of mental breakdown Terry would have and how much rage, despair, grief and complete and utter helplessness seeps in through his lack of control, rendering him mortally dangerous.

Beloved wants to be a whore for hire? They want this to be transactional? They want him to pull out the 'Nothing's for free' philosophy? Fair enough. Anything for beloved. After an outpouring of violence, it is highly unlikely beloved ever leaves his mansion or his midst again. They'll be kept in a golden cage, on an enviable postal code, in a rich neighborhood, surrounded by all the lavish, material things money can buy, but they will never be rid of him. This is his spite. His punishment. His vendetta. How he copes with the pain and the rage. His heart being absolutely shattered. This will become their prison and they'll become his hole. A hole in a pretty, branded dress he gets to rip off, a hole on a luxurious bed they get to be fucked on, a hole fed the most expensive foods and a hole served the most exuberant drinks and they should be grateful for that too and that he didn't just end them for what they said. They wanted to be treated like a whore. They said so themselves, out of their own mouth, when they thought nobody's likely to hear. So? He'll treat them like a whore in his vindictiveness and toss them a piece of jewelry or diamonds when he's done because it's all for the money anyway, correct? Irony is, none of this would matter to him all that much if he simply didn't care tremendously about the person; but when he does? He could rip them to bloody shreds and put them through unimaginable suffering simply because he hoped --- he invested emotions into his beloved and now they took a big crap all over it, and that deserves revenge. That one phone call overheard costs beloved more than they've ever bargained for and if at all possible, they're never seen again, because Terry effectively keeps them hostage to his whims, his anger, his lust and his pain, and as I always say, it is simply better if they were just some passing sugar baby in a line up of many. They would be spared a lifetime of tears and agony.

But, considering he loves them?

He sees this as a declaration of total war and beloved as his prisoner.

[sixpennydame]

The Better Man | Chapter 8

Previous chapter | Epilogue | Series Masterlist

Read in AO3 here

Content/warnings: alcohol consumption, child abuse and neglect, mentions of death.

A/N: This is it..the final chapter! Thank you to everyone who has read, liked, and reblogged this fic. I hope you've enjoyed all the angst and drama!

There will be a final epilogue coming out next week.

Suggested music:

There’s not a sound around you as you walk through the dark, quiet streets of Trost, still too early for even the bakers and butchers to start their morning shifts. There was no way for you to get a hold of Lars’ horse, so you had to find other ways to get out of the city without Levi tracking you.

You knew he’d search for you.

If you can just get further into Wall Rose, you can make a new life. You’ve done it before. 

When Levi said he wouldn’t leave the Survey Corps, you knew in your heart that being together - truly together - was just a dream. You couldn’t watch him go through that gate, wondering if he would ever return. The pain of losing someone again - the fear of losing their bodies or minds to the trauma - you’re not sure you can do it again.

And so this time, you left first.

You’d packed only a few change of clothes in a small pack, along with all the money and valuables you and Lars had.

All except one.

The simple gold band reminded you of the life you no longer had, of the love that was no longer with you. And so you’d left it on the table of your small home with the rent for the remainder of the month and a small letter explaining your departure to your landlady. You’d left nothing for Levi. What good would a letter do? 

The easiest and fastest way out of Trost is the ferry that travels along the river, but if you do that, there would be a record of your departure. It wasn’t easy to find an alternative, but you were an Underground rat; your instincts helped you find a smuggler sneaking goods out of the city who was willing to smuggle you out as well. You hand him the payment and step onto the boat, holding the hood of your cape as close to your face as possible.

“You must be pretty desperate not to be found, if you’re leaving like this,” he snickers, but you huddle up closer in a corner, pulling your knees close to you and trying not to think of the hurt and anger in Levi’s eyes when he finds that you are gone.

“Levi…I’m sorry…” you whisper to no one but yourself.

_____

After your disappearance, Levi spent the rest of the week in a rage to find you. He searched every women’s boarding house, every small, forgotten apartment. He checked the ferry and stables for any woman leaving Trost fitting your description. As he searched for you, his heart and mind struggled to understand why - why you would leave, just as your lives could have started again. Had the moment you’d shared together just been a dream? Were the two of you destined to always be apart?

No, Levi didn’t believe that. He creates his own destiny, his own future. And he wants to share that with you. He doesn’t know why you ran away - maybe you’re scared - but he does know that he’ll search every goddamn town in this goddamn, walled world until he finds you.

But every day, every possible lead, gets him no closer from the truth of where you are. Since his search started, he’s barely slept, barely ate, and barely even been to Survey Corp Headquarters. He’s tasked Eld with keeping up the squad’s daily training routine, and although the team doesn’t question his actions, they know it’s only a matter of time until his absences will be noticed by more than just them.

Namely, Erwin.

Levi rides into headquarters disheveled and in a rush. After searching Trost with no sign of you, he suspects that you’ve somehow gotten out of the city undetected and have moved somewhere else within Wall Rose. Although you’re resourceful, he knows it’s not possible for you to have gotten very far with the limited funds you had, and if he leaves now, he just might be able to find some kind of clue in a neighboring town. He stables his horse and goes straight to his room, ignoring any and all corpsmen he passes by. As he packs a small bag, he hears a knock on the door. He ignores it, but the person behind it enters anyway.

“You’re squad tells me you’ve been busy lately,” the baritone voice remarks as the door clicks closed.

“Yeah,” he doesn’t even stop to look at Erwin standing against the doorframe, his arms crossed at his chest, “I have some personal issues to take care of. I’ll be gone for a few days.”

“You know there are certain procedures in place to request leave, Levi.”

“And I don’t have time for that bullshit right now, Erwin.”

“As apt as I am to let you have your way most days, I’m afraid I have to refuse this time.” His gaze was cold, serious.

Levi met his gaze with his own, his stormy grey eyes boring straight into him. 

“We have an expedition in two days. Surely you didn’t forget.”

There’s only silence while Levi buckles his pack and slings it over his shoulder. “Eld can lead the squad in my absence. He’s more than capable.” He moves towards the door which Erwin is blocking. “Now get out of my way.”

“I can’t do that.” Erwin stands up straighter, his broad shoulders blocking the way entirely. “You made a commitment to the Corps and to your squad.”

“This is important.”

“More important than the lives of your squad, your comrades in arms?”

“Yes,” Levi replies sternly.

“I know that’s not true.”

Erwin’s right. The lives of the Corps weigh heavily on Levi. He knows the fate of many of them rests in his skill and expertise. His absence could mean many more lives will be lost. Lives like Lars’. 

His heart waivers for a moment, torn between his duty and the urgency of finding you. He has to find you. “I have to do this,” he says. “Now move.” When Erwin doesn’t budge, Levi grabs the lapels of his jacket, jerking him down to face him. “I could easily force my way out of here, you know.”

“And you would be charged with attacking your superior officer and punished accordingly,” Erwin answers bluntly. “You’d be held in the brig until a punishment was decided.”

A few seconds pass as both men stare each other down. Then Levi lets go of his lapels and pushes him against the door. He drops his pack on the floor with a heavy thud.

“Fine. Have it your way.” His eyes darken with murderous contempt.

But Erwin doesn’t flinch, only straightening his jacket. “The 104th Cadet Corps is in Trost. When we return from the expedition, we’ll be enlisting new recruits and you can take leave at that time.” He turns his back on Levi as he opens the door. “Now we both have an expedition preparation meeting to get to.”

This bastard…

Levi straightens his ascot, takes a breath, and follows Erwin down the hall to the meeting room.

Two days later, The Survey Corps rides through Trost, to the usual fanfare. It irritates Levi, how fickle the crowd can be: loving them and singing their praises one moment, then cursing them the next. He can hear people talking about him. Fuck, he hates that.

But he looks out into the crowd, hoping you’ll be there, that you’re trying to catch his eye. 

“Who ya lookin’ for?” Hange asks, riding beside him.

He snaps his head forward. “Nobody, Four-eyes.”

He’s going to hold Erwin to his promise. After this expedition, he’s leaving Trost to look for you. Nothing and no one is going to stop him.

_____

“Levi!” You yell out, jolting up from your bed. 

It’s been the same bad dream the last few weeks since you left Trost, much like the bad dreams you had after Levi rescued you from that brothel so many years ago. But instead of hands grabbing you and clawing at your flesh, it’s titan hands grabbing at Levi and pulling him away from you. You just can’t shake this dark feeling of danger, like something bad is going to happen soon.

Like something is going to happen to Levi.

You wipe your sleepy eyes and find that you’d been crying, something you’ve refused to allow yourself to do since Lars’ death, in an attempt to build that wall up around your heart again. But in the loneliness of the night, your dreams reveal your true self. 

The sun is just starting to rise over the wall surrounding Karaness. You’re not really sure why you decided to stop here, in your attempt to evade Levi; it seemed far enough, and you were so tired of hitchhiking. You ended up settling just outside the main part of the district. You’d had enough of walls on all four sides of you. Of being caged in.

And yet.

Your mind had often told you to return to The Underground. That maybe that was the place you truly deserved. You could sneak into Mitras and go back. Although impossible to escape, nobody would think twice if someone wanted to return there; in fact, they'd probably think you’re crazy.

But you couldn’t do it. Levi had sacrificed too much to get you here. You knew he was better off without you, but to go back to that place would be an offense to everything he’s done thus far. He’d told you that he let you go because he thought that was the best for you; that he didn’t deserve you. 

Did he understand that your leaving was for the very same reason? Had he realized that and given up looking for you by now? 

You got dressed and headed for your job at the local tavern. You never thought you’d be working at a place like this again, but there were no other options. It seems like there are some things you just can’t escape, no matter how hard you try. 

As you wipe down the bar and tend to the customers, someone barges through the door.

“Trost has been attacked! That Colossal Titan reappeared and kicked a hole through the wall. It’s five years ago all over again!”

Everyone runs outside, as if expecting to see titans on their own doorstep. Raised voices and chaos are only amplified as the Garrison forces begin moving into the inner, walled district of Karaness, reinforcing both gates. 

You run up to a soldier packing canon shells into a wagon to take into town. “What’s happening in Trost?”

“It’s too early to say ma’am. We’ve just been ordered to reinforce the Karaness gates until further notice.”

“But the Survey Corps…were they there? Are they fighting in Trost?” you press, desperate to know anything about Levi.

“Ma’am, I honestly don’t know. We’ve received no other updates,” his voice is stressed. “Now, please.” He gestures for you to move away from the wagon.

You know that if there was an attack on Trost, then more than likely the Corps was there, unless they were on an expedition. There’s a tightness in the pit of your stomach, fearing your dreams are coming true. You need to know if he’s alive. 

No sleep comes to you that night, as you toss and turn, thinking about what might have happened to Levi and his squad. You know he’s capable of taking down any titan that crosses his path, but the Colossal Titan is not like any other titan. And if that hole isn’t closed up, then they’ll be overwhelmed with titans in a matter of days. 

If Levi was dead, you’d know it, feel it somehow. He’s alive, he’s alive…

And the realization hits you: what a fool you’ve been, thinking you could leave him and all your love for him behind, as if that was a choice your heart even had. You’ve never had a choice when it came to him - even when he left, your love for him had never faded.

You need to see him and make sure he’s ok. 

And so in the morning, you decide to leave for Trost.

_____

Levi watches you from the back of your father’s tavern. It’s where he tends to hang out whenever Kenny leaves him for days at a time. He’s a teenager now, so being by himself isn’t too big a deal, but it still gets awfully lonely. And your presence has always filled that loneliness for him, ever since he was a boy.

Word of Levi’s newly found strength had spread throughout the Underground, and so it wasn’t usual for men and women to challenge him to various feats of strength. Tonight, it was arm wrestling, and Levi beat every last one. 

“How many have you beaten tonight? Six?” You ask as you walk by his table.

“Seven, but who’s counting,” he replies dryly, as he pulls his arm across his chest, stretching his muscles. You laugh, and he swears it’s the sweetest sound in the world. He wishes he could give you more reasons to laugh, but there were few opportunities in the Underground and it seemed as if it was your father’s goal to make you as miserable as possible.

You walk away from Levi’s table with a tray of beers, not looking at where you’re going and knock into another table. The beers spill everywhere as the pint glasses fall and break onto the floor. 

Your father is upon you in an instant, face red from alcohol, anger, or both. “Stupid girl…Can you do nothing right?” He raises his arm and backhands you across the cheek, but before he can land a second blow, Levi is up out of his seat and punches him squarely in the jaw. The entire tavern goes silent when they see your father sprawled on the floor unconscious, then one by one, men start standing and making their way to Levi.

“Let’s go.” He grabs your hand and pulls you out of the tavern and into the dark street. You both run, hand in hand, hiding from the men yelling and running after you, until Levi pulls you into an abandoned building. As he leads you up the stairs and onto the roof, your heart is racing from the frantic running and from the fact that Levi is holding your hand. He doesn’t let go even when he’s decided that you’re in a safe hiding place.

Your hand is sweaty but you don’t let go either. “What are we doing up here, Levi?”

“I’m getting you away from your asshole father, that’s what. I’m tired of watching him hit you. I had to do something.”

“And what are we going to do now?”

Levi thought about it for a few minutes. Honestly, he hadn’t really thought it through when he grabbed your hand and started running. “We’ll run away together.”

“Run away? But where would we even go?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out.” He turns to look at you, eyes full of determination. “I can protect you.”

“We’re kids. And my dad is just drunk…he’ll regret what he did when he sobers up.”

“No! It’s not ok, what he does to you. And I’m not a kid. I’ll take care of you.”

“Levi, I —“

You’re cut off by the voice of your father, yelling your name. You peek over the edge of the building and see him stumbling about, spouting half-drunken apologies and requests for you to come home. You look at Levi, defeated.

“Y/n, no.”

You move closer to him, then give him a kiss on the lips. It’s quick and awkward, but it’s enough to make Levi’s eyes go wide. 

“I have to go. He needs me,” you say reluctantly. “But someday, we’ll get out of here and be together. I promise.”

You let go of Levi’s hand and walk out of the building, toward your father’s voice.

_____

You weren’t sure what to expect as you made your way to Trost, but the closer you get, the more chaotic it seems. Refugees from the fallen city and the towns surrounding fill the forests and roads. You hear them talk of a rumor that a soldier turned into a titan and was able to block the hole made by the Colossal Titan, but it was too fantastical to even believe. 

The walls get closer and there are soldiers everywhere, creating a roadblock that hinders your entrance. 

“Sorry, miss. Access to Trost is for the military only.”

“Please… I need to get in.”

“You live here?”

“Well, no, not anymore but -“

“No civilians are allowed until we can confirm the city is secure,” he commands, unmoving.

“Can you just tell me if the Survey Corp is there? Is Captain Levi there?”

“Most of the Survey Corps left a few days ago.” He stands resolute. “It’s not safe here. You should go back wherever you came from.”

You can tell that this soldier is not going to answer any more of your questions. You look around, trying to find any uniforms with the Wings of Freedom emblazoned on the back, but you see none, only Garrison and Military Police.

If you can’t get any answers here, then you’ll just go to Survey Corps Headquarters. There’s a chill in the early spring air as you take the road you’ve traveled countless times. It’s getting dark, but the road is wide and you could ride there in your sleep; you think back to the last time you’d been there, when Lars was still alive. 

As you enter the gates, there’s barely a soul to be found. Eventually, you spot a familiar face. “Wilhem…”

He stops when he sees you, a mix of surprise and confusion on his face. “Y/n…what are you doing here?”

“Where is Levi Squad? I need to talk with the Captain.”

“Sorry..I can’t tell you that. It’s classified information.”

“What do you mean?”

He tells you about the cadet who has titan abilities, and about the tribunal. You listen, in shock. It’s impossible.

“What happens next, not even we know. We’re just waiting for Commander Erwin to return with orders.” He pauses. “But everything has changed now.”

“I see.”

“Do you want me to relay a message to the Captain?”

You open your mouth to reply, but then stop and take a moment. “No..no, that’s alright,” and you turn to leave into the night, not really sure of where you’re even going. Wilhelm stops you and offers for you to stay there for the night. You tentatively agree, even though you haven’t stayed here since the argument with Lars, almost two years ago.

At dinner, the few Scouts you know tell you of the attack, of the confusion and devastation, and of the titan that seems to be on our side. They also talk about a rumor that Levi Squad has taken the cadet into their custody, but where and for what purpose, they don’t know.

As you sit there, slack-jawed, listening to their story, it confirms what Levi had tried to tell you before: this world needs him more than you do. If humanity is ever going to find freedom, then it needs Levi to keep fighting. You fear you’re just a distraction from his higher calling.

In the morning, you ride back to Karaness. Maybe it was for the best that Levi wasn’t here. Perhaps it’s time to truly make a life on your own.

_____

Levi wakes up to the sun shining on his face through the window of his cold, musty room. He’d fallen asleep in the armchair again, but it didn’t make a difference to him - the beds in the old Survey Corps Headquarters were barely usable, and he slept even less than usual lately. Each day, more and more Survey Corps members were showing up at the castle; most notably, the new recruits, who seem to know Eren well. Levi had been monitoring him closely these past few weeks, looking for any change in behavior, or any indication of a titan shift; at the surface, he seemed like any other big-eyed cadet with a yearning to make a difference, but Levi could see something else in him. There was a monster deep inside…and when it came out, would Levi really be able to control him? Would anyone?

But that wasn’t the only thing keeping Levi up at night. 

He wondered where you were and if you were alright. Had he been wrong about you leaving Trost? What if you’d been hurt, or worse? He’d checked the dead and injured civilians list, and your name was nowhere to be found. You were alive, you had to be alive…

It was torture to not be able to search for you, but once again his duties pulled him away from you, his commitment to the Corps calling him. Erwin needing him.

But had he also not promised to protect you, to keep you safe? He couldn’t help but feel like he’d failed you in that regard; and yet, he told himself that in keeping humanity safe, he was protecting you, the one constant in his chaotic life.

He rubbed his stiff neck and rose from the armchair. They leave for Karaness District today and there’s still much to do. Erwin had arrived at the castle a few days ago and had informed his squad leaders of the deeper plan behind the 57th expedition beyond the walls, but Levi knew there was more he wasn’t telling them. There was a bigger plan at work here, and a look in Erwin's eyes that unnerved even Levi, who probably knew him better than anyone. 

A two day ride brought the Corps to the inner gate of Karaness. Erwin thought it best for all squads to camp outside the enclosed part of the district in order to accommodate the large wagons they were hauling. Wagons which were being guarded day and night and that no one was allowed to touch. Soldiers were ordered not to enter the town, in an effort to keep Eren and their plans as guarded as possible. 

That night, Levi was quiet, introspective. There was an air of anticipation throughout the camp, as there usually was the night before an expedition, but Levi knew there was something different this time - a new enemy, possibly amongst them. He should be thinking about the mission, about how he’s going to keep Eren protected, but as he cleaned and polished his blades, he looked up at the stars, and wondered where you were. 

_____

It was one of the first warm evenings of the early spring, as you climbed the small ladder leading to the roof of your apartment. Whenever the sky was clear, you yearned to see the stars; the freedom and expanse of it all was such a stark contrast to the world you and Levi had been raised in. You smiled, thinking back to the two of you as children, straining to see the sky through a steep crevice opening to the world above, wondering what the stars were made of, straining to count how many there were..

And now, because of him, you were able to see them. You were thankful for the moments you’d been able to share with him in this life. He’d saved you, in more ways than one.

“Levi…wherever you are…be safe..” you said to the stars. They twinkled in response.

You awoke the next morning to the noise of wagons and horses, and the gate into Karaness opening. Confused, you walked downstairs to see what the commotion was about.

“That was the Survey Corps. Their next expedition is departing from Karaness this morning,” one of your neighbors mentions.

“What!?” Without even thinking twice, you begin racing down the street to the gate. If you hurry, you might be able to see them, and catch Levi’s eye. Maybe even get a chance to talk to him, to tell him that you love him, that you’re sorry for leaving.

Pain pierces your side as you run as fast as your legs will allow. But by the time you get there, the gate is closed.

There it is: that feeling of fear you had whenever you saw Lars and Levi ride out of Trost; of helplessness that you can do nothing but wait. 

But your fear quickly turns to a bold determination that he will return, and when he does, you will be there.

Surprisingly, you didn’t have to wait long to hear the gate open for their return. 

_____

Levi was used to the jeering and cursing of townspeople after an expedition; but this time, it was almost unbearable. His injured ankle was throbbing as he walked through Karaness; however, he refused to ride his horse. He wanted to feel the pain, wanted to feel anything other than this deep sorrow in his heart. The words stuck in his throat as he turned to face Petra’s father.

She was gone. They were all gone.

The noise of the crowd fades away as he continues to walk in a daze. 

“Levi…”

The voice is soft and sweet against the ugliness of the jeers. Then a hooded figure comes into view as it quietly walks beside him from a distance.

And it’s like the whole world stops. 

He doesn’t have to see your face to know instantly that it’s you. He keeps walking to avoid a scene, but your name escapes his lips in a barely audible whisper. 

“I need to talk with you,” you plead, “please.”

If only he could leave with you now; if only you both could leave this place together, leave everything behind. 

You tell him the location of your apartment and he promises to be there tonight. 

A promise he intends to keep with every fibre of his being.

_____

You pace the floor as you wait for Levi, going over and over in your mind what you’ll say to him. 

Then there’s a knock at the door. You take a deep breath and open it. 

Levi stands before you, visibly shaken, which is a rare sight, even for all the years you’ve known him. For a moment, he just stands there, then walks past you and into the small apartment. 

He’s never been one for words, but the weight of his silence now fills the space between the two of you as he looks around the room.

“You came..” you manage to finally utter.

“Of course I did,” he answers curtly, his voice stressed, “I want some answers.”

He turns to look at you, and you can see the pain on his face, the hurt in his eyes. He’s different.

What happened during this expedition?

“Why did you leave Trost?”

You swallow, mouth suddenly dry. “I couldn’t stay there anymore. I decided it was for the best if I left your life - for good this time.”

Before you can explain further, or apologize, he cuts you off. “I can decide for myself what I do and don’t need in my life. Noone gets to decide that for me.”

“No..” you shake your head, “you’re not listening - “

“And I told you that I would take care of you. Why would you run from me? Do you even know what you want?” His voice is raised, anger and frustration coming through in every word.

Hearing him reprimand you like this sends a spark of anger through you. “You’re one to talk, Levi. You left me first, remember? Don’t act like you’re blameless in all this.” 

Hands clenched at your sides, you face him. “You once told me that you left me alone above ground because you thought it was the best thing for me. That you couldn’t give me what I needed or deserved. Well, that’s how I felt.” You struggle with your next words. “Humanity needs you more than I ever will.”

“I don’t care what humanity needs,” he cuts you off again, “I need you. Can’t you see that?”

Although his words are harsh, his face is pained, and so you move even closer to him and cup his cheek.

He needs you.

“Levi…I’m here. For all of my doubts, I’ve realized I need you too.” Your voice softens. Seeing his face, having him here, suddenly makes all your other anxieties about the future seem unimportant. You’re only thinking about him. “What happened today?”

You can feel Levi leaning into your hand. “They’re gone. Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther, they were all killed today.” He swallows hard. “And I couldn’t protect them.”

He sits on your bed and looks at his hands. “I don’t understand why I have this kind of strength if I can’t save the people I care about most.”

You sit next to him and take his hands in yours, feeling the rough calluses from years of using the ODM gear. For someone so strong, he has such slender, delicate hands, you’ve always thought. At this moment, he suddenly seems so helpless. “Levi..their deaths, Lars’ death, Isabelle’s and Farlan’s..it’s not your fault. Your strength has protected countless others’ lives.” 

You shift your weight on the bed to look at him, then lift his hands to your mouth and begin kissing each finger. “How many times did you protect me when we were kids? When you saved me from that brothel?” You’re kissing his rough knuckles, “You’ve sacrificed so much for others…for me..”

 “Y/n..” Levi utters, his pain changing to love and desire. “I’ve done it all for you.” He caresses your cheek, then moves his lips closer to yours. “And I’d do it all again, if it meant I could be with you.”

He kisses you and even though you’ve felt his lips a thousand times before, it feels like the first time. Those same rough but delicate hands move from caressing your face to unbuttoning your blouse, finally laying you down on the bed. 

You look at him as he hovers over you; for almost his entire life, Levi has been seen as a weapon, his body used to intimidate and destroy. But you’ve never seen him that way; even now, as he unbuttons his own shirt to reveal his scarred body, you see him as a man with so much love and care for others. And how he has used his body to love you in ways that no other person ever could.

You pull him toward you and kiss him once more. “I love you, Levi.” The words you once had so much trouble saying now flow easily, unencumbered by pride or shame.

“And I love you,” he replies tenderly. “I always have, and I always will.”

_____

The two of you made love again and again that night, until your bodies were completely spent and the sun began to peek over Wall Rose. It was as if each time you both were discovering something new about the other; a deeper well of love and pleasure neither had experienced before. 

And something else was discovered: the realization that you both needed each other; it had always been this way and it was always going to be this way; an irrefutable fact, like gravity. Fighting against it was a fruitless act, and so all you both can do is cling to each other. 

As the sun moves higher in the sky and the town wakes up around you, you know he has to go. The Scouts are heading to Stohess District for the next phase of Erwin’s plan, and neither of you know when you’ll see each other again. He pulls you close as you see him to the door, then he moves back to look at you. 

“There are only two promises I’ve ever made in my life, to take down the titans and to protect you. But I’ll make you another promise: I will always, always come back to you. Nothing and no one is ever going to keep me away again.”

His eyes…those same grey eyes you’ve known since you were both children, when he was helpless and alone; now, no longer helpless. 

And never alone again. 

“Yes, Levi, yes. I’ll wait for you. Until those gates open, until these walls come falling down, until you kill the last titan...I will be here waiting…. ”

“I promise you.”

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[ajokeformur-ray]

I just realised why I've been feeling so funky the last few days. I just checked the date and it slammed into me. I escaped my abusers eight years ago today

I'm gonna go watch a comfort film... I need a minute.😭🙏

[boydholbrookfanpage]

[wastheheart]

Ughhhhhhh. Thinking about how before Carlisle, Esme only knew love by meeting ever changing expectations from her parents and then Charles.

How her marriage became love at the end of a fist.

How when she started falling for Carlisle, she was nothing like the woman she is now. She wouldn't speak unless spoken to, she'd go out her way to be seen but not heard. She would silently take on household chores and immaculately complete them without realising what she was doing was not inly trying to make herself worthy of his love, but creating faux reasons for him to love her.

She never knew love without expectation, so for him to love her just because and not even though? She doesn't know what to do with it. His love was so gentle compared to the volatile life she had known before.

[ijwrff]

Another Zombie?-Yandere! Septic-egos x Zombie! Abused! Reader

I don’t know if I’m losing my mind or not, but I thought someone requested this. I just can’t find the request. It’s on my sheet! Of which stories to do in what order!!!!! But it is lost in the void. So here’s this possibly requested possibly not requested story. 

Lots of violence in this one, proceed with caution. There’s also some lines...that could sound like SA, but I am NOT touching that topic. For this story, and my intention, it is about abuse. Not SA. No SA involved whatsoever I can’t write for that. I can’t >.>

So! Here be the story! Involves: Anti, Marvin, Henrik, JJ, Robbie, and Jackie. 

Word Count: 2,714

You didn’t mean to stumble across the Septic’s house, but you did. Running from a group intending on torturing you. With your own blood splattered on your face and abdomen, you fell down, right in front of a house that looked abandoned. Hoping it could give you some semblance of relief from this pain, you bust the door down with what little strength you had left.

It didn’t look as empty on the inside. Quite the opposite in fact, it was very lively. With decorated walls, couches, a tv with game consoles, and lights everywhere. The blinding lights hurt your eyes, and you tried to look around. There was too much to process, and you couldn’t look anywhere without seeing those damned lights.

Losing all color in your eyes when you died made your eyes seem much more sensitive.

The group chasing you, realized you were a zombie and decided torturing you wasn’t “inhumane” because you weren’t breathing anymore. The twisted bastards. They’d cut, burned, dismembered, all you could think of. And you always recovered. You always felt it. You always remembered the terrible things that had been done to you in life, and now in death. It never seemed to end.

“Anti stop breaking down our door.” A nonchalant voice said from somewhere in the room. You couldn’t see him, but he was reading a book on the couch with his feet perched up on the table. He didn’t look up until he heard your grunts of pain. “Oh shit.” Was all he could think to say.

“N-no wait! Please…help me. Please.” You covered your eyes and fell to the ground. Maybe this was it. Those boys would find you, and keep you as their own personal punching bag until they grew old…or got bored of you. “I’m…being chased. I need help, please help.” You were on your knees, hands now covering your own head as you practically fell in the fetal position.

The man ran over to you, gauging your state of mind and body as best he could without knowing much about you or your situation. “HENRIK!” He yelled. He placed a hand on your back but you flinched away far enough that he took a big step back, holding up his hands. “Easy…easy. I’ll help you. A doctor lives here, he can patch you up.” He had to wonder just what you’d been through…

You heard the boys approaching the house, yelling profanities directed at you. Each time, you flinched and whined. It already hurt so bad…why were they doing this? You didn’t deserve it! Not any of it! Maybe…the people living here could help. You could hope, but hoping hasn’t exactly helped you so far.

“They’re…coming…” You muttered as you coughed up black blood. They had definitely seen the house by now, you could hear them coming closer and closer. Probably with their weapons still in hand. Bats, knives, you name it. Anything that could inflict the most pain.

“I got you…” The man said, and he realized the lights were causing you problems, so he turned them off. “Don’t worry, I can see just fine.” You didn’t see the wink he made in your direction, but you sat up a little straighter. “HENRIK! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!” He yelled before walking slowly and calculatingly out the front door, towards the group of boys.

The doctor ran in, turning on the lights. “What? What’s wrong?” He saw you flinch at the brightness, and he turned them back off, leading you into another room carefully. He knew any pressure on a sensitive damaged area could make a patient panic. And from the brief look he got off your face, you were already close to panicking. “It’s okay…this way, alright?” He kept his hands off you after seeing how bad the flinch was.

Luckily the other rooms had a brightness setting. He led you around their home, and downstairs into the medical room. Did…a lot of people typically have medical rooms in their homes nowadays? Who knew at this point, whatever their reason for having it was, it was saving your ass right now. There were medicines, tables, and machines you hadn’t seen in a long time. It puts you a little bit more on edge.

You heard a brief sound of a scream as you entered the room, coming from outside, but as soon as the door was shut you couldn’t hear anything else. It made you wince, not knowing if the man who had saved you was the one screaming. He didn’t try to hurt you…he seemed genuine. At least from what you could tell.

As if sensing your unease, Henrik directed you towards the table, instructing you to sit down. “It’s alright…Marvin can handle himself. I can assure you he’ll be fine.” He got to work, going at your pace and not his. He clearly knew what he was doing, and treated you with the most care you’d had in a long time. “So…a zombie, huh?” He chuckled and you made a frown, looking away from him.

“I’m…sorry. I should go.” You said, and tried to get off the table, but the wound on your side made it difficult. “Don’t want you to be seen with me.” It hurts to say, but at this point? You were used to it. You’d met many people in your time, and you knew rather than whether you were alive or dead that it would only cause problems for all parties involved.

“No, no. It’s alright. You’re not the first zombie to come through these doors.” He chuckled again, a little louder at the surprised look on your face. Henrik seemed to know what you were thinking, and continued, “His name is Robbie. He lives here with us. Once you were feeling a bit better I could introduce you. He doesn’t bite, unless provoked.”

After that? Everything went pretty good. You ended up moving in with the men, Robbie, Henrik, Marvin, Anti, JJ, and Jackie all lived there with you. It was a pretty big house, which you didn’t realize when first arriving. You hadn’t left once, in the three months you’d been living here.

They wouldn’t let you.

At first it made sense. You were targeted, and the people who were commonly after you could bring you harm. Once they realized you’d never bit or even done so much as scratch someone, they became fiercely protective over you. You had “lived” many years, and not once did you harm someone. They couldn’t fathom it. How someone so kind could get so much hatred directed towards them.

As for sleeping arrangements, they realized you had nightmares every night. So after about a week of getting to know them all, you took turns sleeping in their beds. It was…kind of nice. You had never been so doted on, and it was weird. But…after a while you started relying on it. The nightmares didn’t go away completely, but it was much better after your first few rounds with the boys.

Robbie was the ultimate cuddler, and liked to nuzzle you. Henrik was respectful, and only cuddled lightly if you initiated it. You could tell he wanted to cuddle more, but he was also pretty guarded. Marvin liked to sleep with you cradled under his arm, wrapping his arms around you all night. Anti…tried to cuddle. But the man moved around so damn much in his sleep it was practically impossible. JJ never touched you. He did allow you to sleep in his bed, but he didn’t do so much as to even hold your hand. It was kind of a break from the cuddling you got from all the others. Jackie was a cutie pie. Always wanting to be the little spoon.

All of that? Was about to change today.

It was just you and Robbie at home, and you were planting in the garden out front. It was something Robbie liked to do, that you had never done before meeting him. It was extremely relaxing, and sometimes if it was a little damp, it would turn into a mud fight. To the other’s dismay. With mud tracked all throughout the house.

Robbie went around the back side of the house, to get the hose and pale, so you were arranging the flowers as best you could. And you were doing a great job! You were humming happily, and not paying attention to your surroundings. That…was a mistake on your part. What was coming? You would always think about and blame yourself for.

A man came towards you, seemingly lost in the woods. You didn’t notice him until he was up close, his shadow looming over you. “The fuck? Are you some kind of freak?” He took a step closer, and you flinched away from him only to have your arm harshly grabbed to hold you in place. He seemed to laugh, “You must be! Look at those eyes! Bet you can’t even talk! Got no tongue or something?”

He used his free hand and pried your mouth open. “Look at that! There is a tongue. Why don’t you and me go into that forest and see if your insides look human or not.” He had a wicked grin on his face, clearly some kind of psychopath. Or…just another normal human who wanted to mess with the undead in horrendous ways. It was impossible to tell.

“N-No! Leave me alone!” You weren’t stronger than him by a long shot. But…you also didn’t want to risk hurting him. “R-ROBBIE!” You tried calling, only to have the man tackle you, pinning your hands above your head with one hand, and one hand over your mouth.

“Who are you trying to call to? Another freak?” He smiled with a look that some would argue is less human than even you or Robbie. “You do make noise! Good to know!” He cackled, and you could see Robbie turning the corner of the house.

He dropped the hose and pale, and walked towards you as fast as he could. But…he hadn’t fed all week. So it was taking more time than he’d like. It would take at least a couple minutes at that rate. The stranger saw him, and knew that too.

“Aw look! A couple of freaks. Hey, you…” He looked back at you. “Wanna see what I can do to your little boyfriend over there?” Another cackle, and Robbie looked more and more angry by the passing second. He wasn’t worried about himself. But he WAS worried about you.

Your eyes widened. No…no he can’t hurt Robbie. Not any of the men you’d come to love. Not even one of them should ever have so much as a scratch. This man? Threatening to hurt Robbie? The boy who had always been so kind and cute and just…precious to you. He was…going to hurt him? No no. That can’t happen.

All your favorite memories with Robbie flashes before your eyes. The late night talks, the trying and failing to cook together for the whole family, the mindlessly scrolling through the internet. Even when you both tried to play video games but were so slow the rest of your little family felt bad and let you win. This man…he would not…take this…AWAY FROM YOU!

Something in you snapped, and you opened your mouth as wide as you could, biting into the man’s hand, and effectively breaking the bones. The blood…it tasted so good. You couldn’t get enough of it. One bite turned into two, and two to four, four to ten. Eating away and away, as the man screamed and writhed in agony. It was…funny, almost. The way just one threat towards a boy you loved could warp your entire mentality.

Before you knew it Robbie had joined you, tearing away at the man. The man had stopped moving a long time ago, but you didn’t stop. Robbie had stopped a while ago, but you were just so hungry. He tasted so good. It was addictive, and euphoric. It not only tasted good, but it FELT good. As if you were getting stronger, as if this was the thing that had been missing in your life. Your will to fight back.

Robbie stopped you, breathing heavily after there was barely anything of the man left. “You’ll get…too full. Stop. You need to stop.” You hadn’t heard him sound that strong all week, but you didn’t WANT to stop. However he knew that feeling all too well. If you ate all of him you could, you’ll be ravenous. Wanting more and more until you can’t take it.

You ignored him, so in response, he pulled you away from the man and kissed you. The blood on both your lips mixes together, creating an addictive mixture. Eyes closed, and you both let out your long developing feelings into the one action. It was heaven, if that even existed, and you both didn’t need to stop for air so it continued for a while. At least until you had calmed down.

“Robbie! I…I’m sorry. I…oh my god…I killed him…” The realization struck, and you curled up against Robbie, sobbing. He held you close, very firmly. He wasn’t afraid of hurting you as much as he had been before you fed. This…was a good start though.

Before long all the others came back, and they all surrounded your crying form. It was a lot of sweet words, and comforting gestures. “It’s okay, you’re safe now.” “He can’t hurt you anymore…” “I’ve got you.” Were common in those following moments. You hadn’t noticed, but almost all of the men’s eyes were glowing green. In anger? Maybe. But definitely protectiveness.

After a while, your crying had stopped and they all pulled away. You looked at each of them, and felt confused. They all looked…proud. Some more so than others. Especially Marvin and Anti.

Anti spoke first, leaning down to be on your level, and patted your head, “You did good. So fucking happy we found you.” He pulled you into a hug again, and scratched your back lightly with his black colored nails. But he pulled back and looked more serious. “You’re not allowed to leave. Ever. There’s more people like him. If anyone hurt you I’d fucking mu-”

Marvin cut him off, “Don’t scare them. But dearest…” He turned to you, “He’s right. You can’t leave. We’d be devastated if we lost you. There’s too many people that want to take you away from us. You don’t want that do you?” He smiled, and gave you a peck on the lips. It seemed to make some of the others anxious for their turns, or so it seemed.

Jackie jumped up, and almost knocked you over with a hug. His eyes were watering, and he whimpered out, “You wanna stay with us forever don’t you?” He was on the verge of crying, and you felt so bad you nodded yes. And maybe you did. But…this still felt wrong. You had murdered someone, and here they were kissing and praising you.

Henrik was next, “We love you. Dearly. We’ll do whatever we have to in order to make sure you can stay right here with us.” He pulled you close, “Nothing can take you from us. Nothing.” It sounded like a threat, but when he pulled back he had that friendly smile on his face. One you were sure his patients loved. “You did good. I’m proud of you.” A quick kiss and he had returned to normal.

JJ was last, and he blushed so bright his whole face was red. He leaned in and pecked you on the lips as quickly as he could and pulled back, adjusting his tie. You didn’t know what it said, but clearly the others did, because they chuckled as he signed “We won’t let you leave. You’re going to stay here, with us.” And if he could laugh he would have. He might be the most twisted of them all, but no one would know that.

So maybe you didn’t want to kill someone today…or ever. But…the men you loved were proud of it. So maybe it couldn’t be that bad of a thing…if it was just in self defense…surely you wouldn’t have to kill ever again…

Right?

[shiroi---kumo]

"I know what is BEST for you."

[nitronapalm]

@penandswords || Continued from here

At the moment, he was trying to calm down, though at the touch he jolted slightly, shifting to peek out when he did. It's not her, just Pipsqueak, he had to remind himself. Fuck, he hated getting like this, but he hadn't had much of a choice in the matter; the one time he'd wanted to go visit Auntie on his own and she had been there, flipping shit about how he never visited and she thought she raised him better than that.... ugh.

The whole damn thing had ended up badly and since Rima's place had been the closest, he'd practically fled there just to get the fuck away from the bitch, on pretense that he was going to see someone else. It hadn't been a lie, but it wasn't exactly the expected type either.

And with him covered in mottled bruising that she could probably see peeking out from under his collar and sleeves, and under his shirt? She was probably going to ask questions, and Katsuki wasn't sure he'd be able to keep it from her at this point.

"I don't wanna go back there..." He probably needed to calm down first, before he spilled anything. "Bitch.... can fuck off, m'not goin' back to that hellhole--"

[ladyimaginarium]

hey yall since its sa awareness month, s/o to all my fellow autistic survivors. s/o to all my fellow ramcoa survivors who still struggle w/ their abuse & its effects. s/o to all my fellow cult survivors. s/o to my fellow hc did systems who cope with beta and/or chi programming. s/o to all my fellow survivors who were/are survivors of incest. s/o to my fellow (hc-)did/osdd/udd systems who still deal with their trauma. s/o to survivors who engage in sex work. s/o to survivors who engage in kink. s/o to survivors who's perpetrators never got any punishment for what they did to you and/or others. s/o to survivors who can't have their perpetrators punished for what they did to you and/or others. s/o to survivors who're hypersexual. s/o to survivors who're sex repulsed. s/o to survivors who's sexuality fluctuates. s/o to survivors who aren't "the perfect victim". s/o to survivors who still struggle with intimacy with other people & interpersonal relationships. mainstream media never talks about our abuse bc it's often deemed as "too much" or "too taboo". fuck that. your voice matters. our voices matter. i believe you. you're worthy of having love & peace & safety.

[kitkatopinions]

Like not gonna deny that Mercury's been through shit, but why is he sadistic?

So while acknowledging that Mercury is still responsible for his actions, I do think that the abuse he suffered plays a big part in how Mercury acts.

A lot of abuse victims fall into the cycle themselves, it's an unfortunate truth that violence breeds violence especially when that's all you know. Again, I'm not trying to make excuses; this is an explanation, not an excuse. But Mercury was raised in an incredibly violent and unsafe place where he was punished for weakness and taught to fight and kill. He probably doesn't think it's serious because he was never taught to value human life. And I believe that all people have a moral compass and therefore Mercury should know better, but as I mentioned in my last post, I think he just blocks out any bad feelings. I think Merc is scared of being vulnerable and weak - something he was taught by his abusive father who punished him for being weak by taking something that's described as part of people and reflections of their souls - and I think to Mercury, letting himself be bothered by the suffering of others is just another proof of weakness, one he knows he'd likely get punished for at the hands of Cinder or Salem.

So yeah, I think the two things at play with Mercury's tendency to act like he enjoys the horrible things he does is that A. He was raised to do it and therefore is desensitized to it and was never taught to value human life, and B. What remorse and doubt and shame he does feel is squashed and ignored, treated like weakness because that's probably also something he was taught at the hands of his abusive father. And on top of those things, I think Mercury has a similar 'if you can't beat them, join them' mentality that Torchwick has. Mercury acts like everything that happens is inevitable, so why would he cry over spilled milk, you know? This mentality is obviously wrong, but I think that also plays into how he acts.

With Mercury, I feel like it's worth remembering that unlike some other characters, he's never been in safe conditions and has never had a good support system. Violence and murder are pretty much all he knows and it's all he knows how to do. It's not surprising to me that Mercury reacts to that environment by leaning into it and treating it all like a game. Mercury at his most sadistic almost felt like he was mirroring Cinder too - who was also acting sadistic and smirking and smug herself. It's learned behavior, it's what Mercury feels safe with and what he feels is expected of him. That's my view of it, anyway. It's very possible that the writers just write him to act that way because they think he's just a bad person naturally and they think bad people are sadistic - like Neo, like Torchwick, like Tyrian. But I personally like to try to delve deeper.

[tiredly101]

Broken…

Pairing: Wally Darling x Male Reader

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6

Summary: You are an adult, you even have a boyfriend but your life isn’t rainbows and sunshine. You have always watched the animated cartoon Welcome Home and a connection with its main character was established since you were little but what will he do when he sees the truth within your walls?

Illustrated Show Au and the warnings are in the tags but just in case: tw of abuse, injuries, near death mention and angst. M/n stands for male name and I'm sorry for all the people named Josh!

Wally has always being your best friend since you were a kid, M/n admit that it wasn't normal for the cartoon character to respond normally whenever he talked with him but it made him feel comforted which is why he still watches the cartoon to this day even though he is an adult. He even is married but it wasn't the healthiest marriage.

Josh was the man M/n married, he was a sweetheart, an artist. Very similar to Wally when it came to traits and personality but when he moved in everything changed but alas M/n turned a blind eye and would simply watch Welcome Home and talk with his best friend.

Another argument and screaming could be heard outside of the house. M/n could feel tears stinging in his eyes and he was starting to have a headache from how hard his jaw was clenched, he could actually feel some bile in the back of his throat. Through the argument at some point the Tv was turned on but it was muted and right there Welcome Home started and their sat Wally with a huge smile, ready to talk with M/n; he had been waiting for him to turn on the tv but his eyes were exposed with a shocking sight.

M/n was on the floor and they were crying while Josh kicked him over and over again, he was curled in a wall and shaking slightly. As soon as Josh ended his assault and left the house M/n was simply laying on the floor, numb and coughing some blood, the feeling of bile stayed on his throat and his headache worsen to the point where he could feel as if someone was pounding his heartbeat with a hammer.

"Neighbor... M/n?," Wally said softly but he was still muted but he saw how M/n weakly lifted his sight to Wally and gave him the most heartbreaking soft smile but as soon as he smile he felt another sharp pain followed with some blood being spitted out.

"Don't worry, he has done this before," said M/n in such a weak voice that Wally in a different scenario would have melted at hearing but he knew deep down that M/n was lying. He could tell by how weakly he was moving but as soon as he saw M/n eyes start rolling and his eyelids starting to shut his instincts took over and he started banging the screen until it broke.

Wally ran to M/n seeing how his skin was slowly turning paler by the minute and so he picked him up and took him with himself through the Tv screen. Wally kept in mind that he would need to give Josh a personal visit but for now it's more important making sure his best friend, his soulmate, didn't die because of someone like him.

This was inspired by the song Broken by Isak Danielson and I will be making part two so tell in the comments if you want to be tagged!

[terrence-silver]

Under what situation would Terry become abusive

Terry Silver has two modes.

You're my enemy.

And you're my friend.

If you so happen to be one of the extremely lucky few to be his friend, one of his loved ones, those he deems in his corner, for all he's concerned from his own point of view, he'll never be abusive (a point of view you're free to dispute). But, it's truly fascinating that this guy can and will be generous, giving, devoted, loyal to the teeth, a truly splendid, wonderful and helpful person --- passionate in his devotion, in his zeal, in his care. Provided, again, he deems you on his side. He'll spare to no expense, he'll leave behind everything at a drop of a hat to take your side, he'll go above and beyond for a person, he'll aid your causes whatever they may be (and I do mean whatever) he'll fight the good fight for you, he'll avenge you, he'll scheme in your name, he'll take offense to your slights more than you yourself will. And he'll do this without a shred of irony or faking. Yes, he'll be smothering. Yes, he'll be overbearing. Yes, he'll be overintense and cross any and all boundaries, but thing is, he never sees any of this as abusive and in fact, might be entirely shocked if anyone ever brought it up. He totally will take offense and feel betrayed and taken advantage of. -"What do you mean!? I did this for you!"- Is a phrase that could be brought up a lot with all the outraged conviction possible. Terry Silver is legitimately honest in his sentiment when he wants to be, even though his worldview is extremely skewed, and for the lack of a better word, messed up. The way he sees it, he loves with unabashed passion and is frequently misunderstood for it (which...could be true...in ways) He frequently encounters people who cannot handle his fire.

And then there's the other side.

God forbid, you being his enemy.

Now, then, he'll be abusive. He'll lie, he'll cheat, he'll scheme, he'll manipulate, he'll gaslight, inflicting life-long trauma, he'll torture, he'll take extreme and almost perverse relish in it, he'll put someone through a world of pain, he'll mock, he'll be cruel, and really, go as far as the human imagination can go where maliciousness is concerned and he'll be entirely aware this is abusive, and do it anyway, with all the relish imaginable. Why? Because you're the enemy now and enemies deserve no mercy. It's a very simple, precise, concrete and even practical worldview, albeit black and white. Absolutist. Terry Silver isn't abusive, for all he's concerned, if he likes you, anyway, that is --- and if he doesn't, he'll abuse you and laugh in your face. He believes his standpoint is frankly very normal and understandable. Want to abuse an enemy!? Who wouldn't wanna abuse an enemy! That's what enemies are for! The same way an enemy in a ring is there so you could knock their teeth out and win! Those who say they wouldn't do the same are lying to themselves and if they had the means and the balls to act on their desires, they'd do the same way he does because it's human nature. It has always been human nature. He might just return into a former enemy's life decades later and say 'no hard feelings', because that was then and this is now --- he's beaten an enemy in the past and it was a good beating, a good battle, a good war, a good sparring duel, but now it's over, so shake his hand and capitulate, politely, for a second time, or he'll potentially hurt you some more for rejecting.

So, if you asked Terry himself?

He isn't abusive.

Not towards the people that matter.

Enemies? Well, enemies are fair game. You can't abuse an enemy. Is stepping on a cockroach by accident abuse? Not really. Nobody's fault the cockroach tends to inhabit places that are naturally underfoot and that by extension, their habit involves people occasionally squashing them.

[v-mementomori-v]

ℐ 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑜𝓇𝓃 𝓈𝒾𝒸𝓀 ℬ𝓊𝓉 ℐ 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝒞𝑜𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒜𝒶𝒶𝓎. 𝒜𝓂𝑒𝓃. 𝒜𝓂𝑒𝓃. 𝒜𝓂𝑒𝓃

v-mementomori-v

a study in losing oneself, holding on too tight to beliefs, unspeakable loss, and the rediscovery of oneself

beloved by Pine

triggering themes present please read tags before clicking any of the links below

carrd blog

[zoomingupthathilla]

Sometimes I think about what would have happened if max had stepped in between Neil and Billy. If he would have raised a hand to her… if she would have gotten the beating instead of Billy?

Would Susan care?

Would Billy intervene?

Would it have been a disaster or an eye opener? Driven Neil away? Taking Billy with him? She regrets never standing up to Neil for him, but she also would have never forgiven herself if he left and took Billy with him. She’d never know how things were, if Billy was okay or if Neil did something worse than the original abuse.