#tbh I always forget
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Completely inspired by this post by @acerunaway
#I was planning on making a “remember to take your T” Apollo pic#but this seemed better#tbh I always forget#it’s midnight and I still haven’t oops#ace attorney#apollo justice#aa4#trans#Transmasc#transgender#trans pride#testosterone#I’m actually so pleased with how this turned out lmfao#trans apollo justice#ftm#klapollo
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life of regret
#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#gravity falls#my art#no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD#THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance#and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month#it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up#i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished#but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light#and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy#i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like#math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out#editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me#if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-
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no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#figueroth faeth#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#my! class swap thing! I guess this is like the poster for it now#got overinvested and finished it properly instead of winging it lol#in closeup order: cleric!gorgug; bard!riz; rogue!fabian; sorcerer!kristen; barbarian!fig; artificer!adaine#this one does have the harpoon gun I'd give fabian during sophomore year but literally only figured out for this piece lol#I like how it looks tho Im glad I hashed it out#thinking abt power armor adaine a lot tbh... she has the transhumanist audacity. she's villain-adjacent enough#to attempt unspeakable acts of body improvement#(its funny bc to wear a rig like that would Also demand a certain level of physical strength from you)#also yeah this is the thing with riz holding a megaphone that got me considering#its fun! it fits the aesthetics! maybe it'd grant him range for bardics#maybe he gets to keep that Im just not sure how he'd carry it around lol#fig gets to have all of her makeup... I like almost never remember to draw it usually kdsjfhdjk listen. I just forgor#I always forget makeup is real#also dont ask me what's in kristen's thermos it Is usually tea but you truly never know#sometimes its soup. it can be lighter fluid. soap perhaps. hot chocolate#also if u come knocking on my door abt kristen's somatic in this piece: I wont be home#she gets to be gross especially bc shes funny and 17yo and gay. we give it to her#okay I. whoo I should lay down. finally I can move on to other things#cheers! wahoo. yahha perhaps
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i always forget to post my sketches from paleostreams, time to post lots of creatures!! some drawings are new, some old :)
#lucas called aigialosaurus “worm on a string”.. the most accurate description tbh. no words#anyway#enjoy the sillies. it's a lottt of sketches i just always forget to post them#especially on tumblr#and i still have a LOT of paleoart to post ahhhh#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#paleoland#paleoart#paleostream flocking#paleostream
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A new pair of earrings I got came with a note that said you should never wear earrings overnight and I laughed, but now I'm curious as to what people do so
for clarification: this is just a question trying to see what people's overall habits are when it comes to wearing earrings, so short removals for showering or swimming don't count. feel free to put in the tags how often you switch between pairs of earrings as well!
#I'm the person that will leave one pair in for months at a time so hakdhskdn#tbh I forget that they're there but I do always wear studs so. Maybe that's why
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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Steve was used to climbing out windows. Before his junior year, he’d made a habit of entering through and escaping from girls' houses unnoticed. He was stealthy. He’d learned how to scale trees and tread lightly across roof shingles with the deftness of a nocturnal animal. Yet, for the first time, he found himself escaping his own home. There was a first time for everything, right?
Steve’s parents were home. The second Steve saw the familiar BMW pull into the Harrington’s driveway, he knew he wanted to be anywhere but home. His parents were only palatable when he had good news, but all he had to tell them was that after their last visit, The Mall had burnt down and he’d gotten a new job at a video store. He really was doing the family proud. He didn’t want to deal with it, not today.
That’s how he found himself crawling out his bedroom window, shimmying across the guttering and trying not to sprain his ankles as he dropped onto the lawn. He headed out back, past his pool and into the woods. Usually, it was the last place you’d find Steve. He kept expecting to run into a Demogorgon or something equally as nasty.
He walked for a while without direction, trudging through the underbrush until the rustling of leaves behind him set his teeth on edge. His body moved before his mind had time to keep up. He spun on his heels, hand scrabbling to the forest floor in search of a weapon. It supplied him with a fallen tree branch, almost too large to heft comfortably, but he did it, running on adrenaline. He came face to face with a familiar, wide-eyed boy.
“Holy shit, Harrington. Take it down like ten notches,” the boy grumbled, showing his upturned hands as though trying to calm a startled animal.
Hawkins was a small town, the kind of place where everybody knew everybody. Steve knew the boy with deep brown eyes and dark hair, halloed by fallen leaves, was none other than Eddie Munson, or as he was colloquially known, ‘The Freak’. They’d gone to high school together. He thought the guy was due to repeat his senior year, again. He didn’t know what he was doing alone in the woods.
“What are you doing?” Steve asked.
You couldn’t blame him for being on high alert. Even if Eddie was someone he’d grown up with, that didn’t make him safe. Steve was still riled up after running down Billy Hargrove with his car. He was paranoid. He’d had a rough couple of years.
“Collecting sticks,” Eddie breathed, indicating the large bundle in his hand.
“Collecting sticks?” Steve echoed. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe him. He couldn’t fathom why the guy was doing it.
“Yeah, I’m making a miniature log cabin for my D&D campaign, and you know, miniature logs are just... sticks—you don’t care, anyway. Sorry for startling you, my liege.” Steve tilted his head, thinking the acronym was familiar.
“Is that the dragon game, with the Demogorgon and junk?” Eddie looked at Steve like he’d sprouted a third head.
“How the hell do you, Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington, know what D&D is?”
Steve wished people would stop calling him that. Every time he heard the stupid nickname it felt like someone was rubbing chunks of asphalt into his gravel rash. He wondered if Eddie felt the same about his title.
The old Steve would’ve used it just to spite the guy, to see what buttons he could push, not because he wanted to but because it was expected of him. It wasn’t an excuse. He knew that. Instead, Steve shrugged his shoulders and told the truth, something the old Steve never would’ve done.
“I babysit some nerds who play it,” he confessed.
Eddie looked at Steve in wonder. He was puzzled, amazed and, for once, a little intrigued. He’d never looked at Steve like that back in high school. The two rarely crossed paths and when they did, they never spoke. Sure, Eddie ranted about ‘jocks’ as a whole, but Steve had always just been one piece of a puzzle. It would seem redundant to yell at a patch of blue and grey for being a picture of the sky.
“Why did you need to take up a babysitting gig?”
To answer that, Steve had to embellish a little. Maybe he no longer liked lying about who he was, but he couldn’t exactly dump the cosmic mind fuck that was The Upside Down on some unsuspecting guy.
“I needed money.”
“You needed money? What, did you get cut off?” Steve shrugged in response.
“Christ, what did you do? Piss in a family urn? Trash the house? Get a girl pregnant?” Eddie questioned.
“I think generally existing was enough to do it,” Steve mumbled, kicking at the dirt beneath his shoes.
Eddie let out a low whistle.
“Hey Harrington, think fast,” Eddie called, throwing the bundle of twigs in his direction. Steve dropped the branch and grabbed the bundle with wide eyes.
“What was that for?” Steve choked.
“What are you doing in this neck of the woods, anyway?” Eddie asked instead of responding. Steve shrugged, still cradling the bundle to his chest.
“Avoiding my parents.”
“You got any plans for the rest of the day?” Eddie spoke. Steve responded with a shake of his head.
“Well, you know, this really is a two-person job, so if you wanted to come back to my place, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”
For some reason, Steve agreed.
Eddie had a habit of collecting strays.
There was the cat he’d kept under the bed when he was six and the gathering of stray dogs that hung around the back of the trailer park that he’d been feeding for as long as he could remember. The same theory applied to people. He made friends with the loners, the weird kids, the ones with wide eyes and nowhere to go. He was a bleeding heart, so sue him. However, he’d never expected Steve Harrington to trigger his urge to protect and befriend. That really hit Eddie out of left field.
Never in Eddie’s wildest dreams did he imagine he and Steve would be sitting across from each other at his small dining table, Steve’s knee pressed on the inside of Eddie’s thigh. The jock’s still hands held small bits of twigs in place as Eddie worked around him with his hot glue gun. The guy had seemed so lost, back in the woods, so unlike how Eddie remembered him. He knew about D&D for Christ’s sake. Eddie wondered if he’d woken up in an alternate universe because it seemed like Steve Harrington was actually a good dude.
He asked Eddie about his goddamn log cabin, tavern. Then he’d pushed deeper. ‘Why do you need a bar in a game about dragons’? To which Eddie explained, of course, you do more than just fight dragons, which appeared to be news to Steve. Besides his friends, no one showed interest in Eddie’s ‘stupid little fantasy game’. With Steve, questions came thick and fast. Eddie loved every second of it. When he’d asked why Steve cared so much, the guy had shrugged his shoulders and muttered,
“I might be able to impress the kids.”
Eddie decided to ask about ‘the kids’. He and Steve didn’t have much in common. Sure, the two could commiserate about high school together, but neither man was in the mood to do that. And god, Steve could talk about ‘the kids’.
“I run a D&D club called Hellfire. If they’re starting high school this year, send ‘em my way. I’ll tuck your little ducklings under my wing. Keep the big scary jocks away from ‘em,” Eddie noted, feeling comfortable enough with Steve to take a jab at him. Steve surprised him again by snorting out a laugh.
“Make sure you do. That Jason kid’s a senior, right? Total psychopath. The kid would peg basketballs at pigeons.”
By the time the sun set, the boys were in stitches and had a fairly decent log cabin to show for a day’s work. Eddie was surprised that the idea of Steve leaving set a pit in his stomach.
“Hey, Steve? We should do this again,” Eddie proposed, and Steve was too quick to agree.
“I have work tomorrow morning, but how about the afternoon?”
Eddie hadn’t expected the guy to be as keen as he felt.
“It’s a date,” Eddie agreed, before promptly wanting to shove his head through a miniature log cabin. A date? Really, Munson?
A flicker of amusement crossed Steve’s face as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his too-tight jeans. Mind out of the gutter, Munson. You were doing so well.
“You’re weird, you know that?” Steve remarked, running his hand through his trademark hair, and yeah, Eddie should’ve expected that.
Now Steve was going to call him a Freak, the ‘King Steve’, he’d heard about would make an appearance and Eddie would be glad he dodged a bullet by cutting his crush off at the knees before it had the chance to grow legs.
“Weird is good,” Steve corrected, seeming aware of Eddie’s inner turmoil.
“One thing I’ve learnt about myself since high school is that I like weird.”
Oh, no. Eddie was so gone for Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington.
Read Part 2
#steddie#steddie fic#steddie drabble#steddie ficlet#drabble#ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#alternative 'first' meeting#pre season 4#long post#I always forget to tag that#just assume all my drabbles#are long posts tbh#thing I had to google to write this#'when were hot glue guns invented'?#apparently the 50s#Metalhoops writes
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using up a canvas panel that i've had sitting around forever
wips under the cut
#art#traditional#madoka magica#puella magi madoka magica#pmmm#homura akemi#madoka kaname#(very small but shes there)#i always forget that these acrylics photograph like ass bc you get crazy glare from the lights#also i was reusing a panel that just had an exercise i did for a class on it and putting pencil directly onto acrylic doesnt feel great tbh
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Late nights
#help I keep forgetting how to draw them#murderdrones#uzi doorman#serial designation v murder drones#vuzi#md vuzi#god i’m so tired#I saw my art on Pinterest the other day#that was#weird?#kinda flattering tho#I know the yapperxlistener is been done but Uzi is always the listener#I think she yapps more than anyone tbh#she’s talking about fnaf btw#yeah#that’s cannon now#she watches matpat
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stuff heavily referenced from clive hicks-jenkins' art cus i've been rly into it lately 🥰
cute idea scribblings for the last drawing..lol
#tes#skyrim#talvas fathryon#neloth#my art#stylized small pupils look good on neloff#and kinda off topic but he would really benefit from wearing robes that aren't tied around the waist LOL it would give him more of a -#- powerful look .. mmrp#i'll never be able 2 do wat clive can do but i think i came pretty close#using the materials dat i have#i like all of these though :) pencil makes me happy#whenever i draw traditionally i always have something smart to say abt art in my head but then i forget everything i wanted to say#i wanted to add text to the last one as well but i'm not well versed in how clive would use text in his artworks yet && tbh it looks -#- better w/o it#if i did add text .... it'd say: “first love” :)#how cute :)#and the last btw#😂#i'm really not sorry for drawing nothign but nelvas rn but i will come back to other stuff once i'm not as packed w/ work#when i'm in stress i just like to draw the things i'm used to for now#these drawings r so big my tumblr is gonna kms over them get over it bitch
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Don’t hate me but… I think dating a single mother might be an interesting arc for Eddie Diaz.
#for like half a second I thought they were setting him up with the cheer coach tbh#I will of course also accept him dating a single father!!!#Eddie Diaz#he’s always been the one kind of not exactly ‘forcing’ but slotting women into the Mom Role#so what if he’s in the position where he feels like he has to be the father to a child that isn’t his?#and he pushes and pushes and forgets about his relationship with the woman and Oh No Is This Shannon All Over Again?
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dungeon lord marcille ft. timelapse
#marcille#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#my art#thought it would be fun to upload a process vid teehee#love the 0.2 seconds where i tried the pink color scheme & then immediately abandoned it#i still =kind of like it but i think id need to lean harder into the orange rim light#and i really wanted to keep her bloodstained feet bc thts why i drew this. TBH!@!! i love that aspect of her design so much#and her cowl.^__^ <3 sooo cute. I CANT BELIEVE PPL IN UNIVERSE THINK ITS UGLY AND WEIRD .??? DIEEE#also srries for starting the recording late . i dont have it auto checked bc of storage n i always FORGET!!!!!!#until its too l;ate but whtevers i actually kind oif remembered this time
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I hardly have the time to draw these days, BUT here’s two silly little sketches I did today! Good ol William Afton and then an Afton family vacation photo cuz I love drawing them if they like like, “normal” omg. I might do these digitally one day cuz they were funnnnn
#tbh in my brain I forget that this is fnaf and not just some weird family I enjoy drawing#Afton family if they weren’t all dead and willy here is a single father of three#SITCOM NOW#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#william afton#my art#my doodles#wip#michael afton#Elizabeth Afton#Evan Afton#cc Afton#idk what people are calling him ahhh he’s always gonna be an Evan to me personally#Afton family
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psssst look under the cut
surprise I actually screen printed this poster
sorry I only have the one process pic but it was finals when I made this so I was in a rush
14x17, 5 color screen print- one for each type of skill + black. getting the layering and registration just right was a bitch and a half but I love how it came out <333
#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#de fanart#disco elysium skills#screen printing#I did 10 prints of this and in the end only like 4 of them came out just right cause I had to mess with the opacity of the inks like crazy#I just wish photographs did the print justice cause there's something about the physicality of the piece that's so scrumptious#the digital version was made first but always with the intention to screen print from the way I constructed it#I love the way screen printing intersects between physical and digital processes. it might be my favorite medium tbh#enough rambling. show me love for posting my school work pls#cause I usually forget that I am an artist who makes things and I can post those thing to the internet for fake points#soupy post
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part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)
day 07: free space a happy ending
Wakefulness embraces him so slowly and gently that Steve’s not entirely sure he isn’t dreaming when he sees Eddie lying next to him, watching him with an easy smile as his fingers tap out a slow beat on his pillow. Steve looks at him, blinking away the remnants of sleep, not quite daring to do anything more than that for fear of it being a dream after all, scared that Eddie would disappear if Steve reached out to touch.
But then Eddie’s smile widens. “Good morning, sunshine.”
Steve gasps a little and moves his hand to Eddie’s cheek, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear, his breath hitching when Eddie leans into the touch.
“You’re here,” he whispers, his gaze wandering over Eddie’s features, taking it all in and looking for any indication that this is a dream.
Eddie hums. “And you’re pretty.”
It hits him out of nowhere, the open sincerity in Eddie’s voice, the fondness in his eyes, the honesty in everything about him. The love, open and free now — or getting there, at least. It’s still so raw, though, so new, that Steve doesn’t know how to handle it yet.
“Shut up,” he huffs once he’s caught his breath, rolling over to hide his face and the way his cheeks are heating up. He rolls right into Eddie's chest, though, and he's so warm, so close, smells so good that Steve wants nothing more than to bury his face in his neck and stay there for the rest of the morning. Or maybe the rest of his life.
The reflex to pull away is there. The urge to run and hide, to laugh it off, to freeze up and find something else to do, something to occupy his hands and stop them from reaching for Eddie. Years and years of muscle memory telling Steve to leave.
But Eddie's arms come around him, holding him close and pulling him even closer. And Steve breathes him in, remembering that it can be okay. Remembering that they get a chance now.
Remembering the words.
What are you doing?
Changing the world.
So he tries that, too. Changing the world. He tries by winding his arms around Eddie, too, and breathing in again and again, learning that Eddie won't disappear if he does.
Slowly, he dares to move his arms, stroking along Eddie's back in slow, gentle patterns, lulling himself into a safety he hasn't felt in a while. Maybe ever. At some point Eddie begins to hum, and Steve thinks that it's just another one of his audible smiles, inviting Steve and the rest of the world to join in if they're so inclined. But then he detects a familiar melody in the vibrations of Eddie's neck against his skin, and he holds his breath to find out what it is.
His heart jumps when he recognises the song as one he used to listen to on repeat like a lovesick fool around the time his feelings for Eddie turned into something more, something better, something infinitely worse.
It skips and he forgets how to breathe as he lets his hands travel over Eddie's back, slowly and tentatively daring to slip underneath his shirt and touch his skin.
Eddie begins to sing, then, and Steve wonders if he's even been in love with him before, because nothing of what he's ever felt compares to Eddie's gentle, hoarse, sleep-rough voice as he sings Somebody to Steve, to their little bubble, or to the world outside.
"I want somebody to share, share the rest of my lifeShare my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details."
He closes his eyes as he listens, focusing on the vibrations, on the warmth, on the closeness, on how this moment is everything he's never even dared to want. Everything so perfect that he couldn't even dream it up.
Everything. You're everything.
He needs to be closer still, so be buries his nose in Eddie's neck and breathes him in, tangling their legs, filled with a breathless kind of joyful bliss when Eddie's breath hitches, too, and he stumbles over the words of the second verse as Steve tries to climb into his skin.
"I want somebody who cares for me passionatelyWith every thought and with every breath."
You have me, Steve thinks, pressing his lips to Eddie's pulse point. It's not a kiss, not quite. It's something deeper. It's a promise.
Eddie's hands come up to hold him there even as his voice carries through the drumbeat of Steve's heart in his throat, running fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp, making him purr along to the melody.
"But when I'm asleep I want somebodyWho will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderlyThough things like this make me sickIn a case like this, I'll get away with it."
When the song ends, Eddie's words faded out, replaced once again by the gentlest silence, Steve feels raw. Vulnerable. Open and exposed. But he also feels safe, and loved, buried in Eddie's skin and held there, as though Eddie is just as scared of fading away as Steve is.
He lifts his head just slightly, enough to meet Eddie's eyes – only to find that they're closed, an expression so serene like Steve has never seen before. Mesmerised and overflowing with affection, he reaches out to trace the line of his brows, down to his cheeks and all the way to his lips, where his eyes are glued for a second.
The thought of kissing Eddie is right there. The opportunity is, too. But he doesn't. He barely dares to move as it is. But he does roll them over the rest of the way until he lies comfortably on top of Eddie, and tucks his head underneath his chin, finding one of his hands and lacing their fingers.
"You've got him," he breathes eventually. "That somebody. If you—“
"Yes," Eddie says, his other hand finding its way to the nape of Steve's neck to play with his hair again. "I want."
"Good." It's lame; far from what he wants to say. From what he has already said last night. It feels like they're doing this backwards, starting with the I love you and catching up with the slow build-up afterwards. "Good. Me, too."
"Good," Eddie hums, and there's that smile again that Steve can't help but mirror.
They fall asleep again like that even though it’s already late in the morning; cuddling and holding and cradling each other, still trembling slightly. Maybe that's what changing the world will do to you. Maybe that's the bravery more than the love.
Or maybe it's just Steve and Eddie. Steve and Eddie. SteveandEddie.
I love you.
~*~
It takes a bit for Steve to relearn loving Eddie. To not associate it with tragedy and sadness and a bone-deep loneliness that'll leave him breathless even on the best of days.
It takes a while for Steve to learn a whole new kind of breathlessness, a whole new kind of aching when it comes to Eddie.
And Eddie's not much better than Steve, pulling away when Steve wants him closer, swallowing his words and needing a second, third, fourth try until he learns that he gets to love Steve now.
Years of unrequited love, or feelings unreturned, of words put out into the universe with no one to receive them, are not easily or quickly unwritten. But every time Steve's breath gets lodged in his throat and he wants to run away, Eddie is right there to remind him of what they can have now. Every time Steve tries to be a little less of who he really is, Eddie is right there to coax him out of his head with gentle touch and a lot of hugs.
Every time Eddie starts to doubt himself and all the ways he makes Steve the happiest person on the planet, Steve is right there with the words he only has for Eddie. Words that don't get stuck anymore. Words that finally get a recipient.
~*~
Their first kiss, the first real kiss, doesn't happen that first morning. They spend the first week only holding each other, barely wanting to let go, hiding their vulnerabilities within each other.
Steve is worried about it at first, seeing Eddie so quiet, so reverent, lacking his usual cheer, his energy and snarky comments. He asks about it one night, ready to prove right that he isn't and can never be enough for him, that all he will do is steal the things that make him Eddie.
Eddie stops then, lifting Steve's chin with a finger when he's too scared, too ashamed, too vulnerable to meet his eyes on his own accord.
"Stevie," Eddie says, his voice so gentle that Steve immediately feels stupid for doubting. "I have loved you for ten years. I've had you for three days. Let me bask in it. Let me be unable to be myself with how absolutely and utterly overcome I am with the knowledge that I have you now. That I get to hold you. That I get to kiss you and keep you and... God. I'm not unhappy. I'm so much the opposite of that that I'm not sure there's a word for it. Other than devoted. Smitten. Bewitched, body and soul."
Steve wants to kiss him then. Almost does, with the way they're just staring at each other, breathing the same air —air that smells like Eddie now. In the end, Eddie just holds him, brushing a kiss to his cheek, his forehead, his temple, and whispers, "Let me bask in it."
And so they do.
Wayne called Eddie not long after with the words, "Chrissy just told me the wedding's off. Please tell me that means what I think it means."
Eddie just blushed, reaching for Steve, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "Yeah, I, uh. I finally talked to Steve."
There was a very loud cheer on the other end that made Steve laugh, falling into Eddie's side, holding him tight, a weight falling off his shoulders knowing that Wayne was okay with them.
You know, I always figured it would be you.
No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me.
It made his eyes sting again, but he basked in the moment and in the knowledge that Wayne was on their side. Always has been, always will be.
"You better come here on Sunday, and bring Robin and Chrissy, too."
"Robs and Chrissy?" Eddie asked.
"Oh, you're in for a treat. I'll see your asses on Sunday, boys."
And with that, he hung up. Steve immediately went to call Robin, hopeful and giddy with Wayne's implication, knowing that Chrissy was Robin's person just like Eddie was his.
"She loves me," Robin said, on the verge of tears, and Steve joined here right then and there. "She's– Steve. She's so– She... God!"
"Yeah," Steve laughed at the ceiling above his bed, grinning because Robin sounded so happy, not even caring that she didn't have the right words for it, because he could hear Chrissy laughing in the background, too. Laughing and saying hi to him and interrupting Robin's ramblings and groans and giggles with kisses that always left her dumbstruck for a good two seconds each time.
When the call ended, he went right back to the living room, where he and Eddie started watching Pride and Prejudice before, and fell right on top of him with a happy, happy smile.
~*~
It happens at Wayne's, exactly one week after Eddie showed up at Steve's in the middle of the night. One week after the phone call. One week after I love you.
It happens in the soft glow of the fairy lights Steve and Eddie helped him put up years ago. I happens after Wayne hugged him tight once more, after he pulled Chrissy to the side and promised her that she's still his kid, that he still loves her, and that he's happy to see her smile like that. After he promised the same to Robin.
It happens when Wayne's inside to refill their drinks and Chrissy and Robin are caught up in each other that they're blind and deaf to the rest of the world. When Steve turns to find Eddie looking at him with the softest, gentlest expression.
"Eddie," he whispers, leaning in to rest their heads together, lacing their fingers and stroking his thumb along Eddie's palm.
"Yeah, baby?"
Baby. It fills him with butterflies, with the urge to scream, to shout from all the rooftops that he loves Eddie, and more importantly, that Eddie loves him back! Baby. Baby.
"I love you."
"Hmm. I love you more."
No, you don't. Just longer. "Can I kiss you?"
He can feel Eddie's little gasp before he leans in even closer, rubbing their noses together, cradling Steve's face with his free hand. "Please," he whispers.
And Steve does. He captures Eddie's lips, pouring into it everything he feels and more. Sealing the promises he's made and all the ones he's yet to make. The promises to love and cherish Eddie. To be brave. To be there. To stay and keep and bask.
It's nothing like their first kiss all those years ago. There is no question behind it this time. Only declarations, only promises, only the beginning of a shared future.
And there are many, many more after this one.
🌷🤍🌷 THE END 🌷🤍🌷
tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript @hardboiledleggs @estrellami-1 @bisexualdisastersworld @space-invading-pigeon @swimmingbirdrunningrock @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @oxidantdreamboat @spilled-jar @phirex22 @littlemsterious @captaingigglyguinea @animecookie95 @sharingisntkaren @haluton @littlemsterious @animecookie95 @suddenlyinlove @bisexual-bilingual-biped @jinx-nanami @makewavesandwar @scheodingers-muppet @morcantinon @hexdbog @homosexualhomocide13
god i can't believe it's over. i thank you, every one of you, who cheered for me, cried with me, screamed and yelled at me, and stayed with me throughout this past week. i have no words right now other than thank you 🤍🌷 and i hope this is okay
#steddie#steddie fic#steddieweek2023#steddie week fic#i feel like this one's a bit disjointed but i kinda like that about it?? little snippets that make a happy ending you know??#idk i hope you like it too (i always get anxious about endings tbh catch me vibrating out of my skin)#dio words#i cannot believe it is done. i cannot believe what a ride it's been. i'll find the words for it later i think. first we read. and we bask 🤍#morcantinon i am ENDLESSLY sorry i forgot to tag you even after you sent that wonderful ask please forgive me 😭🤍#i also forget a bunch of people who asked in the reblogs but dear god i hope you find this anyway i am all over the place#i will edit this and work in more chrissy/robin when i post it to ao3. but this is steddie week. and these are 15k words of an au#that happened spontaneously and within 2h each night of me flying by the seat of my pants. xD
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