#talking to them was not good for my own mental health I should have known better

[king-mera]

I hate "whump" as a concept so much. Of course characters can get hurt and need taking care of but when I see it done excessively it just makes me feel awful. I don't want to see my favorite characters get tortured, I want to see them going on fun adventures and saving the day. It's so simple, I thought that's what we all wanted? To escape into a world where things turn out better? Well, no because some people are obsessed with pain.

[asstrolo]

PISCES PLACEMENTS.

one thing you need to know about Pisces is that they always look aloof and are extremely observant.

✦ Pisces Risings have a very good intuition to situations involved with emotions and other people's feelings, they can read them very well, but should always be careful as they can appear to think they know what a person is feeling when it could be something completely different.

✦ People with a Pisces stellium deal with very difficult mental health problems, like any other water stellium (or any stellium) their emotions are at an all time high and can make it hard to put things into perspective when it's all just one energy. To add that Pisces are mutable energy and that energy is very volatile, balance is not something that comes easily to them, unlike fixed signs like Aquarius, Pisces stelliums get trapped inside a thought or a scenario in their head a lot, it's really hard to make them come back to reality unless they are aware of what they are doing. This does not mean they are unstable or untrustworthy, they are wise and can with frequency have prophetic dreams

✦ One thing about Pisces mercury is that they will lie unprovoked, they often lie for their peace of mind so people would leave them alone, but other times they just lie because they can and I can confirm this as a Pisces mercury I lie a lot about things that don't matter like when I buy something and I tell my family that the person that sold it to me recommended it because it's really good, that's a lie nobody recommended me anything

✦ I do believe Pisces like to be sad more than they liked to admit, as the sign is known for not being present and you can always see them not wanting to be in the real world, sometimes they can use their moods to escape real life issues or responsibilities

✦ Jupiter in Pisces generation are really good at spotting a person's energy, they tend to have luck in everything esoteric but can shield on that a little too much, have an over positive or negative view of life as they have a strong intuition sometimes they will fool themselves into believing something just because of the ~vibes~ thy feel, a little too delusional sometimes ngl

✦ Pisces in anything but specially Pisces sun people are very addictive, is the Neptunian force, when people talk about Pisces have addictions to escape reality that is valid, I do believe they are super intoxicating to be around, is something about them that leaves people wanting more. Watch Pisces people that are famous, Hozier and Rihanna, Maddison Beer or Justin Bieber, Olivia Rodrigo, and the most Pisces of them all was Kurt Cobain with a extremely present Pisces stellium and a Water dominance with a Cancer moon and Scorpio mars, he looked almost like a cult leader and that's the magic of Pisces, they can draw people in so easily it's hard to know where you start and they end, but that's the magic of mutable signs

✦ Pisces men why are you like that? I'm not a mind reader don't make me kill you

✦ As Saturn is transitioning Pisces people with this placements can feel like it's just one thing after another, they can never really be calm because Saturn is not about calm at all, it's about responsibility and maturing in the blink of an eye, they will be confronting things they used to sweep under the rug, which is something difficult to do for Pisces placements as they can be too n their own world to see certain things surrounding them

✦ Continuing the Pisces/Saturn transit, this can obviously be felt more on where you have Pisces in planets or house. Venus in Pisces will be dealing with a lot of hard lessons in love, if you have unhealthy patterns that follow you through all your relationships and it can feel very overwhelming when you try to connect with somebody but is impossible because there is something you must learn, or you view of love could be very different when you start your first healthy relationship or stay single for your mental health. It really does depend on the person as Saturn has lessons in all shapes and forms . Pisces in the 9th house could mean responsibilities outside their home or comfort zone, or the impossibility of traveling due to these responsibilities. College or School can take a significant time in your daily life as someone who is starting to take it more seriously, or the sudden decision to leave a career to chase other dreams. Either way, it's a challenging time for the dreamers

✦ Pisces placements and always looking like they don't know where they are

✦ Since Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac they do encapsulate a tiny part of all the signs and that's why they can be so changing, Pisces Sun and Risings are known to be really good actors like Anya Taylor-Joy having a Pisces rising or Oscar Isaac. They can mold into a different personality very well and that's part of their empathetic tendencies too

✦ to me pisces placements embody the forever I hate it here I want to be inside my mind palace ALL THE TIME there's a reason a lot of pisces placements are actors or writers, they continuously try to run away from real life!!

a pisces placements song in my opinion

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations No.23

*just based on my experiences only take what resonates

Quite a few people with Chiron in Gemini are singers, talented ones too

We always talk about intuition of Pisces and Scorpio but Cancer placements are also crazy intuitive. I feel like you really can’t fool someone about how you’re feeling with Cancer in the big 6.

Air moons tend to catch feelings when someone is unavailable; earth moons tend to catch feelings when someone is more stable/ambitious than them; fire moons tend to catch feelings when someone is passionate and courageous; water moons tend to catch feelings when someone has sort of dreamy/otherworldly energy to them (that unspoken spark really gets to water moons)

If you wanna seduce Venus in 9th, travel with them or teach them something new

if you want to win over someone with Venus in 2nd/Taurus you should get them gifts (can apply to earth moons too imo- as long as the gift is useful or high end for them)

Quietly I think Capricorn in the big 6 can make you just as domestic as cancer in the big 6, but a Capricorn is usually going to talk about/pay attention their public image more

Someone said the only thing they can’t deal with is someone throwing it back in your face when you try to help them/give them advice (like the other person saying you don’t care or that you’re just in it for yourself) and yeah that’s Virgo mars

Moon square/opposition to the ascendant could have people assume you’re putting on a personality/faking something

Saturn in Pisces is another placement to make sure you watch your mental health, all of Saturn’s consequences come at your subconscious

Do water risings seem to have a theme of like not trying to let their perspectives be colored by some sort of sadness ? (Cancer Asc - nostalgia /which isn’t always sad but if you hear cancer placements talk about it then they often filter their own nostalgia through a certain sadness; Scorpio Asc - traumatic experiences that shaped their perspective; Pisces Asc - a feeling of like ennui, a certain kind of listlessness)

Neptune in the houses can show frequent locations if your dreams (3rd house- school, childhood neighborhoods; 4th house- childhood home, places you’d visit a lot with your family; 6th house the workplace; 9th house places you’ve traveled to or want to go to, etc)

Something we don’t talk about with Chiron in 1st is that it’s an energy amplifier imo. So when you’re healed you give off healing energy, but when you’re unhealed or even toxic you subconsciously spread that energy around (or maybe consciously, a lot of people I’ve known that belittle and nitpick others from a place of insecurity have Chiron in 1st)

If mars aspects your 4th house you may have grown up fighting and arguing a lot, especially with your family but in your childhood environment in general

Taurus placements will have their whole day impacted by a disappointing meal (especially moons- also mars imo)

Aries placements have trouble maturing sometimes bc their sign is then youngest of the zodiac (Pisces is the old man but this can make them unclear and disconnected too)

Aquarius in the big 3 (especially Aquarius moon) tend to be really good at playing detached and calculating (in real life too lol but I’m thinking of Rosamund Pike and how well she sold her cool girl speech from gone girl - she’s a double Aquarius) (also in real life people aren’t always so predictable/controllable so this calculating behavior can go sideways sometimes)

I love how the Pluto in Scorpio generation is making all of this mainstream art about transformation and healing generational trauma (everything everywhere all at once is what I was watching when I thought of this)

Also I’m still working on how to utilize degree theory best but Daniel kwan (one of the everything everywhere all at once directors) has Scorpio moon at a cancer degree (19) and his most acclaimed movie so far is about depression, trauma, and generational curses (I love everything everywhere all at once pls watch it, I cried 3 times when I watched it and I’m a Capricorn moon so you know that means a lot lol)

[luna-rainbow]

i saw someone recently say that they preferred sambucky over stevebucky (either platonic or romantic tbh) because they felt bucky was happier not living under the shadow of his former self? suggesting that he intentionally spent most of him time post winter soldier away from steve because he didn't want to be compared to a former version of himself that he couldn't return to? I'm a big lover of stevebucky so the idea that steve wouldn't be able to stop comparing (even if subconsciously) post-ws bucky to pre-ws bucky made me question the ship slightly? or that bucky was actually happier without steve in the readjustment process bc he could become his own person without preconceived ideas of what he should be like hanging over his head. I've read a few fics about this and i kinda wanted to know what u thought - would steve's knowledge of the old bucky affect their relationship so negatively that bucky would be happier alone/with people unfamiliar with who he was before (sorry for the rambling question)

Thank you lovely for the very interesting ask! I love these kind of hypotheticals!

First and foremost, don't ever let anyone convince you that you're only allowed to ship one pairing. A lot of people DO only ship one ship, and kudos to them, but you are not a bad fan if you want to ship Bucky with multiple people. Heck, I got into Stucky via Sambucky, and uh…anyway, here I am.

The idea that "Bucky stayed away from Steve because he didn't want to be compared to old Bucky" is one of my favourite angsty "loss of innocence" tropes to explore -- because yes, that's going to be one of Bucky's major insecurities after the Winter Soldier. He isn't the same person as before and no matter how hard he tries, he's never going to go back to who he was before.

The absolutely fascinating part, then, is how a fanfic writer decides to address this. So yeah, I can see this as the jumping board for a SamBucky story (or any other non Stucky ship).

But this is also a concept that not only fits in well within the Stucky fanon/narrative, it's also crucial to explore in order to bring the two of them back together. How does Steve accept that Bucky has changed, and how does Bucky come to trust that Steve accepts this changed version of him?

The answer is, for me, this is Steve we're talking about. Steve with all his tenacity and empathy and loyalty. This is Steve who's known Bucky since childhood, who probably knows Bucky better than the current Bucky remembers himself. This is also a Steve has fought one of the bloodiest wars in history. He is young, but he's not naive. The people of his time didn't have the right words for it - but he has seen a lot of mental health issues on the field. He's come out on the other end of the war still believing in the goodness of humans (his "I'm willing to bet I'm not" speech), so I have no doubt he will look at Bucky and see that -- yeah, you've changed, you've had terrible things happen to you for well over half a century, but you are also still the same kind soul that I grew up with, and that kindness is what's most important; I can still see him in you, even if you are different, and I believe you deserve all the love I can give you.

And you know what, there IS canon evidence that Steve believes in Bucky, believes in the goodness that couldn't be burned away with 70 years of brainwashing. Sam saying to Steve - (Bucky) isn't the kind you save and he won't know you - and Steve replying without an ounce of doubt in his voice, "He will." Or Steve going after Bucky to save him from the SIT because "he'd have done the same for me".

I think another crux is that recent gif set - the "I'm following the little guy from Brooklyn" speech. That was a vow - it was Bucky saying "I loved you (platonically/romantically/wte) when you were a poor disabled scruffy kid in the dumps, and I will love you just the same even if you're a buff blue-eyed Adonis." Their story, as always, encircles each other's - it is now Steve's turn to say "I loved you when you were a nerdy protective flirt and I will love you just the same even if you're disabled and scruffy and dealing with horrendous PTSD". I think that vow also highlights just how important Steve was, even at that point, to Bucky, which means…their loyalty will always draw them back to each other. Once Bucky sees Steve has faith in him, he will have faith in himself to rebuild his identity in a way that's true to him.

It really depends on the writer, but most versions I’ve seen in which Steve and Bucky separate (over this issue) write Steve as either obtuse, selfish or emotionally immature…which is not how I read him to be. I think he has the emotional maturity to accept that Bucky will have similarities but will also have stark differences to who he once was...but then, time leaves its mark on everyone it touches, not just Bucky (I kinda touched on that concept on my "Learning to Want" fic *self plug*). It's a rough road and on some days there's going to be more setbacks than progress, and yeah on some days Steve is going to get frustrated and upset and maybe even a little defeatist, but I think both he and Bucky have that tenacious survivor streak in them that will pull them through, especially if they're together.

[yallemagne]

Luthur (Lucy/Arthur) Propaganda

I'm writing this with all the pent-up rage of an entire year of seeing "Lucy's so dumb, she should have picked my favourite suitor" posts and "who should Lucy have chosen?" polls that always result in practically no votes for Arthur.

This is not an anti-Jack or anti-Quincey post by any means, though it may come across as defensive. It is just a pro-let-Lucy-choose-for-herself post. And yes, letting her choose for herself even includes letting her be monogamous when she has made the conscious decision to remain monogamous.

So, to the proposal descriptions--

Seward tries to hide his anxiety by putting up a front of sternness. From how Lucy describes it, it sounds like he's negotiating a contract:

He spoke to me, Mina, very straightforwardly. He told me how dear I was to him, though he had known me so little, and what his life would be with me to help and cheer him. He was going to tell me how unhappy he would be if I did not care for him, but when he saw me cry he said that he was a brute and would not add to my present trouble. Then he broke off and asked if I could love him in time; and when I shook my head his hands trembled, and then with some hesitation he asked me if I cared already for any one else. He put it very nicely, saying that he did not want to wring my confidence from me, but only to know, because if a woman's heart was free a man might have hope. And then, Mina, I felt a sort of duty to tell him that there was some one. I only told him that much, and then he stood up, and he looked very strong and very grave as he took both my hands in his and said he hoped I would be happy, and that if I ever wanted a friend I must count him one of my best.

Sounds like he hardly popped the question so much as stated: "I would be honoured to have you (I need you I need you I need you I need you) as my wife. If you don't love me back, I will die."

This proposal comes across as very neurodivergent to me. He goes into it thinking mostly about what he wants from Lucy and how good the marriage would be for his mental health, not stopping to consider if she's already seeing someone (literally the man who introduced them) or just maybe... that he's putting too much of a burden on her with this style of proposal. This approach would work better with another no-nonsense B, but Lucy is overwhelmed. He didn't think of her feelings in the matter because he was too busy schooling his own emotions so he wouldn't screw it all up. It comes across as very scripted until he sees that he's upset Lucy-- that is when we get a glimpse of his care for her. But then he's back to his bullet points of "but could you love me one day? do you love another now? on a scale from one to ten, how would you rate this interaction?"

Lucy gets through Seward's entire proposal without getting carried away and writing about Arthur instead, but with Quincey--

I suppose that we women are such cowards that we think a man will save us from fears, and we marry him. I know now what I would do if I were a man and wanted to make a girl love me. No, I don't, for there was Mr. Morris telling us his stories, and Arthur never told any, and yet—— My dear, I am somewhat previous.

She certainly finds Quincey charming, but she cuts herself off to talk about Arthur. While she momentarily thinks that telling adventurous tales would win a woman's heart, she says that it didn't win her own. There's a sort of peacocking going on with Quincey prefacing his proposal with tales of his adventures. It's very much like Seward's stoic attempt but with far more confidence and pizzazz.

Mr. Quincey P. Morris found me alone. It seems that a man always does find a girl alone. No, he doesn't, for Arthur tried twice to make a chance, and I helping him all I could; I am not ashamed to say it now. 

Quincey "found [her] alone". Now, before, she said "Mr. Morris was telling us his stories"-- who is us? I am guessing that perhaps Lucy's mother or someone else was sitting in as a chaperone? And then Quincey found an opportunity to talk to her in private?

Again, she drifts off talking about Arthur while she's trying to explain Quincey. "Arthur tried twice to make a chance"-- my best guess for what this means is that Arthur has tried to have un-chaperoned time with Lucy twice before in order to propose to her, but he never succeeded despite her attempts to aid him.

Which makes this all so much funnier? Some joke that the Suitors probably arranged it all, but this hints that Arthur has been trying his damndest to propose, but the one day he actually gets a chance to, he finds out his two friends proposed to her first! Those dogs!!

I do not know myself if I shall ever speak slang; I do not know if Arthur likes it, as I have never heard him use any as yet.

Lucy interrupts her "haha the silly American talks silly American gibberish" with "would Arthur like it if I spoke this way?" Gah, she's so in love with him. It's funny that she says she's never heard him use slang considering she's already mentioned "Dress is a bore." which she even called slang.

Well, he did look so good-humoured and so jolly that it didn't seem half so hard to refuse him as it did poor Dr. Seward; so I said, as lightly as I could, that I did not know anything of hitching, and that I wasn't broken to harness at all yet. Then he said that he had spoken in a light manner, and he hoped that if he had made a mistake in doing so on so grave, so momentous, an occasion for him, I would forgive him. [...] And then, my dear, before I could say a word he began pouring out a perfect torrent of love-making, laying his very heart and soul at my feet. He looked so earnest over it that I shall never again think that a man must be playful always, and never earnest, because he is merry at times. I suppose he saw something in my face which checked him, for he suddenly stopped, and said with a sort of manly fervour that I could have loved him for if I had been free...

She remarks that Quincey's more light-hearted nature makes him easier to refuse than Seward. However, she finds it harder to reject him when he drops the act and starts behaving more earnestly. She finds it easier to imagine loving him when he's being sincere. She doesn't have this same thought with Seward because, unfortunately, even when he snapped out of his legal negotiation of the potential marriage, he still kept himself emotionally guarded through the rest of the interaction.

Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble? But this is heresy, and I must not say it.

I must say... Lucy here is not saying "I want a harem of men.". Stop. Just stop saying that she is. That interpretation has led to every single adaptation that brands her an insincere cheater who strings along men and deserves to be punished by the narrative. Just stop. What she is expressing here is guilt at not having an option that would please all parties involved. She's been raised as a people-pleaser, but in this scenario, there is no choice she could make that wouldn't lead to someone being hurt. So, she makes the decision to follow her heart rather than her guilty conscience.

And think, just earlier, Jack planted this seed of insecurity by saying that he'll be upset if she does not love him. And then goes even further to imply her loving another robs him of his hope. It makes it so that, even when Quincey is more gracious in accepting her refusal, she can't help but beat herself up for practically destroying these men's lives (hyperbole, of course) all for her own happiness!!

Lucy clearly displays polyamorous traits. She laments that, if she did not love Arthur so much, she could love Quincey (rip Seward). But she has chosen not to explore those feelings. Part of her cutting herself off while writing about Quincey to talk about Arthur could be subconsciously reminding herself: "nope, there is no chance with him, I want Arthur". She compares the two constantly as if to remind herself she made the right choice. There's also her love for Mina, but she has plausible deniability in this era and can claim that as just classic girl love.

But when she considers a woman marrying "as many men as want her" it is not reflective of her being polyamorous because she doesn't have this thought out of "I love these three men enough to marry them" but "I feel guilty about being loved by three men at once, and I have to repay the favour somehow, but I can't". She does not say "as many men as she wants" because it's not about the woman's feelings but about the feelings of the men that surround her. But you know what? She showed agency when she picked the man she wanted and didn't bow and pick the man who would be the most devastated upon being rejected, and I'm proud of her.

Lucy is incredibly brief when describing Arthur's proposal, but let's. just. think about this. Previously, she has tried to hold back her overwhelming love for Arthur in her writing to Mina (she failed, lol). Other than wanting to be discreet, she explains:

My dear, this quite upset me, and I feel I cannot write of happiness just at once, after telling you of it; and I don't wish to tell of the number three until it can be all happy.

She doesn't want to taint her happy feelings with bitterness about how "oh, I'm so horrible and selfish for picking the man I love! I don't deserve to be loved by anyone!" And even then, she goes into a bit more detail in her post-script:

P.S.—Oh, about number Three—I needn't tell you of number Three, need I? Besides, it was all so confused; it seemed only a moment from his coming into the room till both his arms were round me, and he was kissing me. I am very, very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it. I must only try in the future to show that I am not ungrateful to God for all His goodness to me in sending to me such a lover, such a husband, and such a friend.

Such a friend. Before this, Seward and Quincey were not friends of Lucy's. They were acquaintances that knew her through Arthur (though she does not explicitly state this about Quincey, so she could have met him somewhere else?), and upon being rejected romantically, they swore friendship to her. Before then, they saw her as a potential bride.

But Arthur was already a friend to Lucy. They have been close for longer than she's known either of her other suitors, and while they'd never said the L-word (love) to each other before, I think what wins Lucy's heart is that Arthur is genuine with her. We don't get to see it (she teases us!! how dare!!), but that feels like the most plausible thing that would set him apart from Seward and Quincey. Now, the other two are honest men (we see it when they comfort her), but they both initially put up a front to impress/entertain Lucy. Meanwhile, Arthur doesn't bother with that. He comes into the room, and she's practically already in his arms! It's so effortless with him. She doesn't have to imagine herself being happy and in love with him because she already is.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting two hours a week to spend with my now ex boyfriend?

My (24M) long distance ex boyfriend (21M) have known each other for five years but only started dating at the beginning of this year. My ex has been going through a rough patch in life. It's been months since he started feeling down, and I tried to give him the space and attention he needed during it. I was hoping the little vacation we had a few months ago would help perk him up, but it seems it only added a delay to an emotional crash.

A few weeks ago, he suddenly told me he wanted to stop using discord, our main form of communication, so that he could work on balance his life. I was asleep at the time he sent it and I spent all day agonizing and freaking out over it since it would dramatically cut the time we spent together. My love language is primarily quality time, so to hear him saying we can't even talk as much freaked me out. I bounced it off a mutual friend (20M) and asked if I should give him a few weeks to see how he does, since the mutual friend and I both believe it's a good idea for him to find balance in his life if he's struggling. The mutual friend said that it's not a bad idea to wait and see if he gets better. I agreed to it but I ended up agonizing over it with my already volatile emotional state (I had, just a week earlier, lost a childhood pet and had a fight with my father/roommate (44M)).

Over the few weeks, it only felt like my ex wanted to spend less time with me. He continued to use all social media, even discord, but rarely talked to me. I would see him playing video games when he was off of work and when I asked if he needed any with anything in them, he'd say no. On the few days he was off work, he was completely unreachable, saying he's doing stuff with family yet I could see him still using social media. I felt extremely hurt and abandoned, my mental health was only degrading further. I let him be in hopes that he'd be back.

I did my best to not push my personal emotional state on my ex, mostly sending my fears of our relationship ending to the mutual friend. As the weeks passed, it seemed that my ex was perking up a little despite the limited contact with me, and after bouncing it off my father to get a better idea of how to approach this, with many breakdowns, I decided to give it until the weekend to ask my ex if we could spend a few hours each week. I'm starting school soon so I'll be swamped with 50+ hrs of schoolwork on top of 20hrs or work. It had been a great relief when I spent similar time, in my past semesters, with my ex and was hoping to find a balance for his needs and mine for the relationship.

However, it went horrible, my ex kept bringing up multiple reasons for not spending time with me, saying family, work, apparently My Own needs in the relationship (which irked me) before saying he can't do it for his own health. I asked him how I should try to love him and he said to focus on school and work, but he asked if the limited communications was bothering me and how it's bothering me. I told him how I felt over the past few weeks, but I offered to keep staying distant if he really needs it. I was truthful that it was going to hurt me badly.

He proceeds to send a message saying how my message to him made him uncomfortable and how its unhealthy how I'm feeling and with how I treated his boundaries in the past (which I'm confused about because I always respected his boundaries and double checked on situations and actions that could have been uncomfortable for him) that we should stop talking and likely blocked me on discord and left every server we share.

So, am I the asshole in this situation? I'd give me some peace of mind to know if I really am the asshole.

What are these acronyms?

[jolapeno]

Hi Jo!

How did you get into writing fanfic?

I’m sorry I’ve sat on this for so long, but I wanted to make sure I answered it with the full attention it deserves. I apologise for the length 😂.

I began this as to how, but then also why? and it got long.

warnings for: jo being overly open, sharing things she doesn’t usually, mentions of mental health, mention but not discussion of sexual trauma poor sleep, and again, oversharing. I don’t think I’ve been this open ever, so be gentle with me.

so, I began writing fanfic in 2015. I discovered it on accident, I was doom scrolling on Pinterest, trying to see if I could make some tree decorations in an insomnia bout (because I’d already completed TLOU - irony I know) and discovered a fanfic.

and I was lost in it, 200k deep and then I read another, and another, and I don’t know why I had an idea to attempt to write my own, but I did, and I poured all of my pain into it. (I eventually took this fic down because it was so freaking personal and painful to have up - and it’s still shared now by several people which irks me a lot). but god at the time? it healed me. and it brought me two people who I still talk to to this day, even if we don’t live in the same timezone.

I stayed in that fandom until 2018 when I left and continued only writing for daredevil (which id joined in like 2016).

and then in 2019 I stopped all together due to bad mental health, and just personal things in my life (I really wasn’t doing that well and wanted a bit of a reset).

it was then I began writing an original story. working on it obsessively, eventually shaping it to show some agents at a writing festival in 2020 (virtually, cause of the rona). and it was good, I met with three and two of them loved it. i had amazing feedback, including requests, and I should have been happy, right?

well, I FREAKED out. my little romcom could be something? I sobbed, I broke down, I couldn’t get out of bed for two days and I was a mess.

now, the reasons as to why, is still fuzzy to me. but I assume it’s because all of my life I’d truly believed that Im not good at anything. and writing was this one thing I had to myself, that I shared but never expected anything. and then, suddenly there was expectations, and the reality that people had read it—people who could do things with it, terrified me.

their nice words had weight, meaning? and yet they felt like iron pokers against my skin. even through therapy I don’t like delving into the why’s the what’s, but I assume it’s a combination of lack of self belief and the foundation I’m built on (and why I struggle with compliments) but also the fact it went from a hobby to something that could be something. and I think I freaked at it.

from here, my mental health took a big hit, I was so anxious I couldn’t leave the house and by the end of that year I was back to where I was in 2019, but if anything, much worse?

I didn’t know who I was. all the trauma i thought I’d healed from, rose up inside of me and it took me ages to finally be able to even think about writing again. I was broken. reset to more than factory settings because I couldn’t even recall what I liked? what I loved (outside of my husband and dog). I was a shadow wandering around, going from appointment to appointment.

and then, because he’s an amazing soul, my husband suggested I write fanfic again. start again, try. and I did. I potted around under a different name and then in 2022 i grabbed mvtthewmurdvck back, and I came back through call of duty.

by the end of that year, I found narcos 💁‍♀️ (javi supremacy) and here we are, 2024.

I say a lot that writing saved me, and it literally did.

and I rarely share all of this, but I’m not ashamed of my story, but sometimes I feel I should have been stronger?

but actually, I’m strong for getting up even when I was knocked down. I rebuilt, I reshaped and I discovered threads in myself I’d never known was there. and that took guts.

I was able to discover my sex drive, a thing I’ve struggled with (even in my loving and brilliant relationship) after some trauma when I was 15 with my boyfriend at the time (iykyk). I was able to write scenarios that I could then bring into my own life, and I wrote an entire fic (ILTWY) that helped me discover that I actually love sex. that I love pleasure in all its forms.

I was able to find my heart again, and write a romcom that made me find people I couldn’t be without now, but also, show myself that I can still write a romcom, and that thing in 2020 was just a blip, it wasn’t a sign and it wasn’t a thing that would define me.

and, even now, while I’m struggling to even smile, and I cried putting my eyebrows on this morning, I wrote my feelings out into a Drabble I’m not sure if I’ll share, that made me feel like I could go to work today and cope.

I say that notes and things aren’t my focus here, but never really explained why, but this, all above, is why. writing is there for me, it’s a crutch, it’s a saviour when the world feels too much. it was a thing that I lived without for a short period, but when I came back to it, it was like returning home.

and the best part? I get to share my words with you, I get to think “maybe this will resonate with people” and find that sometimes, it does. I get to be a comfort, to make someone smile, to make you laugh or even make you feel a little horny hahahah. and that means MORE to me, because when I was lost, afraid and terrified of the voice in my head, someone else’s words did that for me. they held me close, they helped me stop and pause and take a breath.

and that’s how I got into writing fanfic, and why it will forever be something special to me.

an: I haven’t edited this, and I’m shaking, so if there’s spelling mistakes, ignore.

[spilledmilkfkdies]

Hi, me again! I was just wondering, following the ‘what if the wizards were actually surrendering’ ask, if the wizards really did give up fairy hunting, what do you think they’d do? (Sorry if I’m sending you too many asks, I just really like your takes.) Thank you!

Hiii sorry it took me a sec to get to this one!! I'll put a link to that ask right here for anyone who's wondering, since it's been a bit. Never worry about sending too many asks either, like I said a while back; I'll get to them eventually! If it takes some time before you hear back from me, sincerely <3 My bad <3 Was a little occupied with another fandom this time and actively participating in both got to me djsksdk

Moving on though!

In my mind they've really already been living normally, like between locking away the fairies and Roxy's magic making itself known I mean- Of course the logistics of it are a bit um. All over the place. Considering they're immortal, sort of. Do they have legal documents? Real or fake? Did they have any mortal friends and how would that work? And JOBS?? The way none of these are obstacles for Duman btw, that's why they killed him, they didn't want him to roam and do whatever anymore. Real and Canon.

Now in a post-alt ending-S4 timeline, the one where they did surrender, do we assume that they just can't use their magic, or that they don't have it anymore? Because that'd probably change the way they live afterwards pretty drastically. Aside from the fact some of them heavily depend on magic more than the others (Ogron and Duman get help smh), HORRENDOUS case scenario, they might all be mortal. For the sake of my own mental health though, I'm just gonna say they do still have magic and are in fact not mortal, just give them a fairy parole officer, some magic blocking thing, keep them around and use them for "good" stuff after a rehabilitation period or something. That's what I'd prefer anyway.

What would they be doing during said rehabilitation period? Started out as a bit of a shared joke, but tbh Anagan model career WHEN. He'd struggle with the lack of useable magic the least too, so he'd probably thrive during the whole thing more than the others, and as he should. Besides Anagan I don't have a whole lot ngl- I mean, I'd like to think Duman had lots of jobs back in the day, not sure if I mentioned that before, but I might make a separate post if I didn't, just because I have thoughts but other stuff to talk about rn sjsjksk

Ogron and Gantlos don't have a lot either MY BAD, but I do think Ogron might be more likely to have friends, maybe surprisingly. Meanwhile Gantlos has a bigger chance of being able to hold down a stable job. What job? Great question! I'm not sure yet. If that changes I'll be sharing with the class!

Moving on once again!! What could the "good" stuff I mentioned above be exactly? Education.

Correct me if I'm wrong. But are there no. Wizard or witch school on Earth?? I know they ended up opening a fairy school later on, but those aren't the only magic users suddenly learning of the dormant magic in their roots. Let's take the comic character Gregory for example. He learns he's a wizard, he tries to enroll into a wizard school(?) off planet. Nothing inherently wrong with going to a school off planet- The Winx did it too, lots of magic users do it, what is wrong though, is being turned down and having no alternatives. And even worse?? They tell him it's because. There's a darkness in him?? Or something?? I could excuse it slightly more if it was a case of "Oh your magic is dark aligned and this is a light magic school" because wizard canonically are known to be both, right? But aside from the fact that, again, there are no alternatives for him, as far as he knows, telling a newly awakened magic user that he's basically too evil to teach is CRAZY I'm sorry??

Here's where I cutely insert the Wizards of the Black Circle. Have them become the place to go when your magic energy alignment is dark (because it doesn't inherently have to mean evil and they're worthy of education in this essay I) on Earth, or even just. Any magic user who isn't a fairy. Just give them another Terrestrial option, options are always good. I think that'd be really neat.

You might sit here and go "The evil wizards are gonna teach the next generation of wizards? Could history not repeat itself??" Well. Yeah. But are the Terrestrial fairies not teaching their next generation now too? The same fairies who canonically turned on humanity at some point? These are all 'what if' scenarios, I'd just like to think that with proper communication this time around, things will be different and both fairy and wizard get to work towards that together. I'm normal and have slept a reasonable amount.

[seeminglydeathlessredshirt]

Ramblings on Disco Elysium

It's taken me a bit to gather my thoughts on this one.

There are some pieces of media out there that people will heap praise after praise upon, to the point where you keep putting it off because there's no way it'll live up to the reputation established by everyone else. Of those, you'll eventually get around to some of them, and realise, to your horror, that they are as good as everyone's been saying. Disco Elysium is exactly that experience.

Before I get into why I adore this game, I feel I should point out that the original devs got the boot a while back and got even more screwed over by the company that owns the title. It's hard to summarise, but simply put, don't buy the game. Also, I'm not going to be discussing specific plot details, but I will be talking about some overarching tropes and concepts that may clue you in on some of the things the story has hidden up its sleeve.

As you likely already know, the game centres around an absolute wreck of a human being. Poor health, mental and physical, and a tendency to do or say things that are generally ill-advised. Worst of all, you have no memory of how you got into this mess, the part of town you're in is reaching its boiling point, and the murder case you're here to solve is the only way you can make things right. Despite the outlandish nature of his behaviours, the detective is one of the most relatable characters I've seen in gaming. Seeing someone brought to their lowest point time and time again and trying to crawl their way out of the pit in a time where I've felt that low provided a bit of solace. That being said, it's not an easy climb, neither here nor there.

One of the most interesting things about this game is the way every single skill is giving a role to play, and not just in the way of having ample amounts of checks for each one, but also in giving them a defined personality. Electrochemistry is constantly egging you on to indulge in various substances, Encyclopedia won't tell you your own name but will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about the Coupris Kineema, Rhetoric speaks like a Tumblr user who's about to post the most rancid take you've ever seen, and so on. It all ties in wonderfully with this general otherworldly feeling that comes from the blending of the mundane and the unreal that becomes more apparent as time goes on.

It's in this space in-between the two where the game genuinely shines. The world feels genuinely outlandish, but the people and the conflicts feel real in their own little ways. Revachol lies at the intersection of the modern era's most well-known ideologies, and the consequences of that are felt in everyone you meet. You can fall in line with any one of them, but it won't have much an impact on the situation. You can help everyone you come across, build up trust with your equally fleshed-out companion, and preach about the replacement of the capitalist order with a classless utopia, but nothing can change the fact that you are a cop, the physical enforcer of the state's monopoly on violence. The characters will constantly remind you of what you are throughout the entire game, and it's important to understand that, despite getting to see the detective's own humanity, that his line of work requires doing inhuman things. Disco Elysium is about a lot of things, and the tension between combining two diametrically opposed concepts is one of them. It's a fantastic work of art, and I hope this isn't the last we see of the people who brought it to life.

Don't listen to Rhetoric.

[therealmanorman]

Me and Her.

Hello, I am Audrey, I am going to be talking about someone who... wasn't the best to be around and has been manipulating me, drew child p*rn of me, made me loose friends, gossips about me and much more.

Fair warning: Mentions of SH, P*rn, V*re, S*icide, etc. You have been warned before reading. There will be screenshots and other stuff. I will tell my side and also wrongings of me and more stuff. If you are uncomfortable with this topic please scroll further. Without anything else here's a PSA of @/spookyhollow1308 or Malori.

BACKGROUND:

To start: Me and Malori have known each other since February 2022. Things started off good and stuff, we were like best friends. Then we started to date each other and then things were good but it went all downhill around Nov 2022 iirc. We started to argue time and time again. It's mostly on my part because of my poor mental health and behavior, During this time when we were dating we were both 13-14 and she started drawing p*rn of both of us. Me being dumb at the time didn't know it was illegal and I didn't really consent to it I just went with it. But I also drew p*rn of a video game character that eventually got leaked after I was groomed sexually.

I used to have friends such as myrskylythy and vvenya (Rik and Jack) they were my best online friends that I've known since my amino days. She did get into contact with them and gossiped about my behavior. Eventually leading them to leave me over that (yes I do respect their wishes, and other controversy surrounding me.) She would always go to them to "vent" but it was mostly talking behind my back and making fun of me. It started with the arguments and also the harassment I received from others which I will not disclose out of my own mental health. You know who you are.

It eventually got into servers, such as Amino, Discord, Hatcord, Etc. Mostly friend servers but it got into the hands of Snarles, then she started to talk about my private drawings that were only entrusted with Malori. Then Impactor got involved and other bullsh*t. Malori if you're reading this, Just know you were in the DEAD wrong for sharing my art to others for your own protection.

My mental health started to deteriorate. Hers as well but I remember I selfed harmed for her and when she wanted to commit s*icide I cried tears for her. She has done the same but not much as me. It got to the point where I was put into a 3 day stay at a Mental Health Hospital. My dad will never forgive me for what I did because of Her.

CLARIFICATION:

I am not looking for attention or anything. I am staying the background between us and the events that have occured. SHE has been on TikTok sharing MY personal information I have told her. Such as me being in legal trouble which should have never been shared and is considered illegal (doxxing, cyber bullying, publication of private facts.) Which is NEVER okay to do. I will involve the police at some point because this is harassment and cyber bullying Malori. She also knows my address and has sent the police and boxes before. I am scared that she will send the police out again.

ARGUMENTS:

Ah yes. Countless arguments between us from 2022-2024. Two whole years of hating and bullying one another. Manipulation and Toxicity and other stuff. When will she ever learn that those aren't okay to call someone unless they truly know they are? Yes I have my fair share of calling her names but never any of those. The ones I've said is "STFU, Etc" Which are equally bad but never ever threatened her with violence besides telling I would blocking her. Which she complained not to do yet she does it to me but eventually unblocks me. I have some point drew my oc v*ring her sona. it was pure vent art and also hate art. Not intended to do anything but show major... dislike? for her yet I would always come back. I don't know why but some part of me cared for her to still be with her. Now I know it's not a good idea because of the posts she makes about me. From My legal issues to the panic attacks. Please stop, no one needs to know what you're feeling and how you're purposely trying to seek attention.

SCREENSHOTS:

TW: hate speech, s*xual themes , etc. You have been warned.

Tiktok Posts ^ These are hate speech about me.

Wishing my current relationship goes sideways, inflicting pain in us which is considered harassment ^ On her Alt Account : CocoaBunny1308 there were porn drawings but she might've deleted them. I looked and there isn't any of us anymore besides art of mustache girl from AHiT and her oc Nova.

The v*re vent art I did ^ I do not wish to show what it looks like so it is blocked off. Don't even pester me to see the full to share it. There IS sexual art of me and her she probably deleted them because I shared them with my current boyfriend out of trauma.

This, is obviously a lie. I really didn't draw p*rn of her because I am personally uncomfortable drawing same sex in art (that are in a relationship) because I'm used to drawing straights. Key word was "once" either being after she constantly asked me to draw us.

MORE WILL COME SOON + VENT ART

[missinconsistent]

You can tell people who don't watch Niji are really scrambling to find anything to hate about the AR Live because they just don't want any of the livers to celebrate any accomplishments. But if anyone is actually taking the opinions of those who didn't even watch the damn event at face value, here is my take on some of the "issues" these people are complaining about:

Long read.

THE GRADUATED LIVERS:

Pomu's, Nina's, and Mysta's voice were kept because it was a decision by the livers to be included for the fans. The remaining livers re-recorded their live stages after the others graduated, but some people actually think Niji was just showing 1-year-old footage, which would take some insane editing skills. The graduated livers' voices were part of the back track, not as part of the live singing. Their vocals were only heard for debut songs, too. There is also a weird narrative that the voices of the graduated livers should not have been allowed when there is no problem with it. Those graduated livers still support their friends and were more than happy to be included in AR Live even after graduating.

SELEN AND PASTEL STAGE:

It makes sense why Selen had to be cut from AR Live. There would be a lot more heat if they kept her in after her termination than to just roll with it since, unlike the graduated livers, Selen was terminated not long after already recording AR Live back in November last year.

I get it's upsetting many things had to be cut from Pastel Stage, but it's not just getting all the livers to Japan, but also booking the venue, getting the 3D riggers, stage staff, choreographers, and more. They'd have to push the AR Live concert even further after canceling the initial one. It honestly makes sense that they'd cut content rather than spend the resources to re-record it for a THIRD time. And since everyone wants the Niji to take better care of their livers' mental health, then not overworking them on this overdue project is a start.

3D MODELS AND RIGGING:

Apparently, someone paid the money to hate-watch AR Live so they could spread screenshots to make it look bad, despite the strict copyright rule not to share screenshots (which of course would lead to a DMCA). Frankly, if anyone is going to judge the quality of the whole 3-hour concert based on snippets and not actually bother to watch it, then they can't make the conclusion that the 3D models were bad. Although it's weird that someone did pay to sit through a 3-hour concert without having any intention of enjoying it to begin with.

I watched the concert, and the 3D models looked good, in my opinion. Nijisanji is known to have better 3D rigging compared to their competitors. The team that did the models and rigging did a perfectly fine job and it's pretty insulting to put it down because you chose to look at it under a microscope and pinpoint any instance where it might have looked off. A lot of the choreography (especially Shu's Shanti 🪑) and the variety games show how good the rigging can look, and it seems unfair to not look at those examples alongside the bad ones.

CONCLUSION

I feel like the Niji hate at this point is getting ridiculous. There's plenty of real reasons to not like Niji. If you want to "SiNk tHe yAtCht" so bad, you can boycott it and not spend money to hate-watch their concert, lol. Drama channels finding anything to talk about AR Live when they haven't even watched it is just another example of how little integrity they have to report hearsay. And it's tiring to always hear people looking at any possible negative thing to say when the livers and their fans are just being happy..?

Don't get me wrong, I have my criticisms of the company. I've aired it out before. Especially after Selen's termination. Hell, it's not like I don't have my own critique of AR Live. I also wish fans got more Pastel Stage. I also wish the first AR Live wasn't canceled. But by no means do I think the AR Live we got was bad.

I left the concert feeling elated and overall had way more positive thoughts about it than any negative ones. And it has me looking forward to future AR Live concerts. Other 3D debuts. And other projects like NijiEncounter.

Anyways, Niji antis can and will keep obsessively bitching about Niji, and then say "cope and seethe" when someone tells them to take a chill pill. But Niji AR Live did really well. The fans are proud of the livers' hard work to make it happen. There will be more positive things to come for Niji enjoyers. But if antis want to keep writing their own fan fiction that tells them otherwise, there's no point in changing their mind, lol.

For fans that want to keep supporting their livers, or any sane person that wants to see Niji better themselves, please don't let the hate keep you from celebrating any wins, big or small, that the livers are accomplishing.

[anaalnathrakhs]

oh god ed reddit is having the “uwu anorexia isn’t rooted in fatphobia my mental illness is not abt you” talk again please god help me

fatphobia doesn’t mean “being a meanie to fat ppl” i’m begging you to use critical thinking skills for five seconds and apply what you know about literally any other form of oppression to this situation.

people’s point isn’t that you having anorexia makes them feel bad and therefore you’re a bad fatphobic person.

they’re pointing out how the deeply ingrained fatphobia our society upholds, from misconceptions about health to moralization of looks and weight, including yes being jerks to fat ppl’s faces bc they’re fat, is affecting what you think about your own looks, weight, health, body, clothes, eating habits, etc.

the logic isn’t “you became anorexic because you hate fat people so much you never wanted to be fat yourself (and that makes you a bad person)” it’s “fatphobia is a prism that transforms the root cause of your ed into disordered thoughts, behaviors, and patterns (and unlearning fatphobia will help you with recovery and harm-reduction)”

like. it’s not for no reason that anorexia is a disorder that disproportionatedly affects women. it’s not for no reason that there’s sky high comorbidity rates for eds and ocd. it’s not for no reason that people who need control in their lives so badly that they develop a mental disorder abt it get obssessed with being skinny and not with being a sumo. it’s not for no reason that ppl who feel the need to retract to childhood due to trauma envy things like being skinny light and frail, instead of being a tubby baby. it’s not for no reason that there is an incredibly common anorexic thought pattern (internal and self-directed, don’t make me say what i didn’t say) that associaties restriction and weight loss with moral goodness.

for each of these there IS a number of exceptions, but you can see case by case how the root cause (trauma, need for control, for self-destruction, growing up poor, whatever you think is “unrelated to fatphobia” basically) is processed through the prism of the fatphobic culture we’ve all been raised in. some people just, voluntarily or not, deal with those root causes in different way, which might or might not be healthy. but it’s a consequence of ambiant fatphobia that “i should starve and be skinny about it” is a statistically pretty common response to this distress.

the point isn’t “it’s fatphobic that you don’t deal with your neuroses in a body positive way uwu” the point is that no matter how cool you are with fat people on like, a personal level, you’ve been (like the rest of us) bombarded with fatphobic thought patterns your entire life basically, both directly fatphobic things and reactions to this fatphobia. maybe spoken to you directly, maybe not. maybe about you maybe about other people. you live in a society that places moral values into looks and health, and also pushes some deeply rooted falsehoods about how those things tie into each other. you have a disorder defined by obsessive behaviors. maybe, just maybe, deconstructing the logic that those obsessives behaviors are based upon will help you deal with this disorder. and recover or reduce harm.

basically, anorexia isn’t “getting skinny disorder” it’s “obsession disorder”, obsession with looking attractive, or pleasing your family, or going back to being a kid, or being healthy, or being fit, or being driven and capable, or being worth saving, or having your suffering known, or having control over something, or whatever. the fatphobia that is omnipresent (and i repeat, omnipresent, nobody is singling you out as a bad fatphobic meanie, or even talking about your behavior towards other people around you) in our society picks the direction in which many many people will express that disorder.

of course if you live in a society that tells you “being fat is morally bad” at every turn, when you start developping an obssessive pathological need to control things, without another factor weighting in, most people’s default reaction will be anorexia. food is a regular fixture of everybody’s life, everyone wants to be morally good, and even if we know/understand/believe to an extent the flaws of that “fat = bad” logic we know the world around us still believes it, and nobody wants to be treated like shit. we can think it’s stupid and fight against fatphobia and work to treat fat ppl better in our lives and support body positivity, but in any case, one always judges oneself on different metrics than they judge others, cuz we control our self-improvement. that’s natural. just it doesn’t mesh well with a pathologically obssessive need for control above self-preservation.

[aprilsadviceaskblog]

Hi, I hope you're doing great !! I am sending this ask hoping to get PTSD-related advice. Also, I'd like to talk about the healing process rather than the trauma itself, so I won't describe it (I think trigger warnings are not necessary in that case ? Or maybe just the ones related to mental health- I'm not sure, sorry...)

So I've recently been diagnosed with PTSD (trauma happened 3 years ago). I know time heals all wounds but I'm still concerned : I see everyone getting progressively better, and it's been kind of the opposite for me...? Symptoms are increasing every day and I'm able to do less and less. I talked to others and they've confirmed that I am getting worse and there is very little progress, if any.

For the record, I've seen a therapist a couple times : he thinks my situation is concerning, but he said that he can't do anything more to help. I also practice self-care all on my own : I am bad at the exercices but I'm patient and understanding with myself. I also have boundaries i make clear for myself, and I have tried to communicate them to others too. I am trying to open up more and talk with my friends about everything (the trauma, how I feel, how they can help) because they insisted I should do that too

I guess what I want to ask is... what next ? I am doing everything that should be done- so why are things getting worse...? I'd be okay with no progress, but actively worsening ? What more am I supposed to do ? Is there something I am missing, some crucial step I forgot to take ? I am sorry if this is inappropriate or rude or triggering- I really don't want it to be, I am just hoping you have answers. I hope you have a good day

Hi anon,

I want to say that healing isn’t linear. It’s normal for stuff to go backwards sometimes.

I don’t know how to politely say this but I think you could use a new therapist if you’re still open to therapy. He doesn’t sound great for you. There is definitely more than can be done and if he’s saying he can’t, then he likely isn’t the therapist for you and can’t meet your needs.

I think a common misconception is that time heals all wounds. Time is a factor but we can’t just wait for the healing to happen. We have to actively do the work. And that takes time. But time itself does not usually heal the wounds.

I’m so glad you practice self care and it sounds like you have taken good steps. I do want to say that another myth is that “talking about it makes it better”. And while talking helps some people, for some people it can make it worse because they aren’t ready or it may just be neutral for them because that isn’t what they need. I definitely agree with telling people what you need and how they can help but it isn’t a rule that everyone must talk about their trauma to heal. I have known people pressured into sharing trauma details because “it helps” and it actually retraumatized them because they weren’t ready. If you are being pressured to talk about it but don’t feel ready, then please consider having boundaries about that too because that’s so valid.

This is from my website on a page about healing myths that I think explains what I’m trying to say a bit better.

“The best thing for people who were traumatized is to talk about it.” Traumatized people need to explore the memories and feel the feelings.

False. Talking about it can be a factor in acceptance and healing but this assumes that everyone responds to trauma and healing the same way. Sometimes people need more time to be ready to talk about trauma and forcing them to do it before they are ready can serve to re-traumatize them and make things worse. Some people might never be ready to talk about it. Some people are ready to talk about it, but it isn’t helpful to them and they don’t want to and that’s okay, too. Pushing the belief that traumatized people have to talk about stuff to heal creates an idea that there is some sort of rulebook to healing from trauma and there isn’t. It might push unrealistic expectations onto someone who then feels like they’re doing something wrong because they are not “healing” the right way. The truth is, there is no “right” and perfect way to heal. Everyone is different and what works for someone may not necessarily work for something else. At the end of the day, you should be asking someone dealing with trauma what they need and not telling them what they need.”

My long point here is that you aren’t failing because certain things aren’t working for you. You are a unique individual with unique needs.

If I were you, I’d take a look at the symptoms that are most distressing to me and start there in trying to manage them. If you want to write back in with what they are, I might be able to send some resources your way. But keep in mind, there is no one way and you might have to try a few different things.

Things aren’t hopeless even if they might seem this way. You aren’t beyond help or healing.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

A stardew valley headcanon:

One year the farmer gave Vincent a Pink Cake for his birthday and Vincent will NOT shut up about it. Jodi has slowly been going crazy trying to recreate it and has been begging for the recipe, but the farmer keeps turning her away.

Meanwhile, the farmer is trying to decide if they should confess to feeding Vincent some goodness knows how old cake they carved out of a purple giant slime in Skull Cavern.

God, I did the same! With the burglar ring, I got two pink cakes at once: I gave one to Vincent, the second to Marnie. Like, go on, eat, I got it from an incomprehensible slime monster, but the cake itself seems to be fine, just remove the slime and you'll be ok.

I have a silly idea for this HC, I hope you like it))) Also, I mostly make a neutral farmer so you can imagine your own OC Farmer. Enjoy!

Who could have known the pink cake that the Farmer found in their misadventures in the Skull Cavern inside a huge fucking slime, and thoughtlessly presented to Vincent for his birthday, would burn so many nerve cells? And not only the nerve cells of poor Jodi, who has been asking for a recipe for this damned cake for several days now, but also the Farmer's nerve cells.

Well, the Farmer must have known, because what were they even thinking? Find random food inside a monster and give it to a child?! Are they brainless?!

The Farmer put himself in Jodi's shoes and trying to imagine what if they tell her how they got that pink cake. Heh, they would tell their child not to talk with this creep anymore, and avoid them at all costs, that's what any normal parent would do. So this option is out.

The Farmer didn't want to torture Jodi by hiding the recipe. Yoba witnesses, the Farmer even tried to repeat the recipe for this cake themselves in order to find exactly the one that Vincent liked so much. Of course, nothing came of this, and if the selection method did not work, they must think differently.

"Okay, think, think, cake, slime, Skull cavern, slime, iridium, level 100, challenge, casino, slime, Mr. Qi... Mr. Qi!!! Eureka!!"

The Farmer ran faster than a bullet into the Calico desert, and before they could even say hello to Sandy, they almost kicked the casino door. The bouncer was about to calm down a highly aroused visitor, but the owner of the casino, Mr. Qi himself, stopped him, and approached his... friend? Can their acquaintance and all these trials be called friendship? It's hard to say, but Qi himself was happy to see the Farmer... until he saw a tortured face with bruises under their eyes. Yoba, how long have they been awake?

The Farmer told Qi about the strange pink cake inside a slime in one breath and maniacally asked where it came from.

"Well kid, I put the cake in slime"

"You... put a cake in that giant slime?"

"Well, of course. How do you think the cake stays so fresh? Unfortunately, there are no refrigerators in caves, so this is a good solution. I left it for you, kiddo, because my challenges is difficult, the sweetness will let you not die of hunger and get a dose of sugar for overcome obstacles."

Qi did not have time to tell the Farmer proudly how he came up with this brilliant idea, as the poor Farmer grabbed Mr. Qi by the collar and tearfully begged please, please tell them the recipe for this cake, they will go further than level 100, 200 levels, even 300 in Skull cavern, just please give them the recipe they beg him, they have already gone cuckoo foR FuCK sAKe plEAsE!!!...

Given the merits of the Farmer (as well as worrying about their mental health) Mr. Qi took pity on them and gave the recipe. Although it's nothing out of the ordinary, just the same recipe as Queen sause, but add a little ginger.

Jodi, finally at peace, has prepared a fresh, special pink cake for her family that makes Vincent squeak with joy. The Farmer was finally able to sleep after all this 'sweet saga', rejoicing that they kept their friendship and found this damned recipe. And Mr. Qi has not forgotten Farmer's promise to pass his challenges more difficult than before. But for now, let the poor youth sleep.

[big-coyote]

hi!! this may be a weird thing to ask about but ive decided to make one of my longtime ocs a coyote therian (they were connected to coyotes since the beginning) and i wanted to ask if theres stuff i should avoid when talking abt them or doing character design?

ive done some research on my own looking thru tumblr blogs ran by therians mostly, but i mightve missed some stuff!

for now they show their theriantophy as either wearing a coyote looking onesie (which is the first outfit they ever had) or when wearing other clothes they have a tail keychain on their trousers, so i also wanted to ask if you know of any other things they could have to connect with their theriotype?

again im sorry if this is a weird question! <3

(1/2) Hello! Not a weird question at all, I’m actually very honored and happy you’ve asked! I have quite a number of OCs myself that are also therians or otherkin adjacent lol. Also if anyone else has any ideas they’d like to add/advice feel free to comment or reblog!

As for things you should ovoid I’d recommend straying away from the idea of therianthropy being inherently because of mental illness. While it’s totally okay for your Oc to struggle with mental health problems or other serious topics. I often see the stigma online where people assume being nonhuman or having a alterhuman identity means the person in question must have Schizophrenia, Dissociative Identity Disorder, psychosis, a delusional disorder, etc. And again while I know plenty of nonhumans who have those disorders (I have some of them) and that may effect their identities as a whole, it shouldn’t be the end all be all of their identity you know? Ovoid adding more stigma to both.

Another thing I’d stray away from is the idea of a character being a therian because of spirit animals or any mythology related to closed practices/groups. I’ve seen many indigenous people online speak about their discomfort with the word ‘spirit animal’ and how it’s been adopted into pop culture. Being alterhuman is much more then “I feel connected to this thing/this thing is just like me”, it runs much deeper then that and it is as much as a real identity as something like gender, sexuality, religion, etc. It should be taken with as much care and seriousness as those other identities because it is huge and important part to a lot of our lives.

Lastly I’d recommend avoiding making the character the butt end of the jokes. While the Oc themselves can be funny, have funny things happen to them or have funny experiences as a coyote Therian I’d ovoid making them the punching bag to other OCs. Online it’s not uncommon to see many people misunderstanding and mischaracterizing being nonhuman for a quick laugh. It be very disheartening if an OCs entire existence in a story is just “haha they think they’re a dog, that’s stupid”. Again it’s important to take any identity like being a Therian seriously instead of just being the punch line for a joke or gag.

As for the clothing I think the onesie would be incredibly cute and good to wear as well as the tail! Many therians wear tails, both real and faux fur ones, to feel connected to their identity and feel more comfortable. I’ve also known many therians who were things like jewelry with their theriotype on it, fake animal ears, t-shirts, rings, fur coats, earrings, pins/buttons, etc. Some also like collecting plushies or posters with their theriotype as well, or having stickers on their books or drawing them. Or if you’d prefer a more casual character design you could have a character who doesn’t wear any outward Therian gear and prefers to keep it low key. Both options are very valid and would be interesting to see!

But no matter what I’m sure your Oc is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to see them! Please tag me if you make any art or stories about them, or if you have any other questions feel free to ask again or DM me!

[sirlordevil]

Hey, little post for people who know others who are struggling with self-harm. Here's some dos and do nots for supporting them.

DO NOT react to them opening up about it by telling them that if they do it, you'll do it too. Doing this just makes them lose trust in you, and they will likely not open up about it to you ever again. I cannot stress enough how fucked up this is to say to a person.

DO ask them if they're thinking about doing it now and / or are somewhere safe. You need to prioritize their current well-being. Remember, not only is self-harm a coping mechanism, it's an addiction to many. Saying, "Oh my gosh, that's awful, please stop. I really care about you." Isn't going to make them put it down. In fact, in some cases, it might make them want to do it more. It's not because they don't love you or anything its more so a mix of reverse psychology and unceasing self-loathing, numbness, anxiety, etc.

DO NOT wrist check them. This is invading personal boundaries, if not explicitly requested of you to do. Again, this can result in a loss of trust and build-up resentment towards you.

DO ask how they're doing or feeling and let them know they aren't a burden to you. Build an open space they can come to instead of forcing it all out of them.

DO NOT say something along the lines of "Why can't you just quit?" or "Think about how sad your family would be!" or "You should stop hurting yourself. It's bad for you." While the last one is true, statements like these put guilt on the person and not only that but might make them mad because you don't understand what it's like for them.

DO offer them alternatives and discuss with them why they feel the need to self-harm. One of the most well-known alternatives is snapping a rubber band on your wrist. Another one is holding an ice cube against yourself. One method I personally find great is working out a little until you get that ache feeling. Great way to get out internal frustration and physical activity is proven to make you happier.

DO NOT poke fun at them for it by calling them emo or something if the like. Unless they seem 100% okay with it and like actively encourage it because they find it funny, this is just messed up. I have nothing more to say on this except you will become part of the problem.

DO encourage them to have fun and find happiness in things they enjoy. If this person likes a certain show or video game, you'd be surprised by how much good it can do for someone's mental health to just be able to talk about it with someone or have someone who enjoys it as well. Sometimes, really liking something is the first step to liking yourself.

DO NOT talk over them about their own issues. You do not know them better than they know themselves. Shedding light or clarifying something for them is okay, but do not keep saying a certain thing is the root cause when they keep telling you it isn't.

DO be understanding whether they tell you about the root issue(s) or not. If they don't tell you, then don't take it personally. It's hard to open up about, and it's not exactly something a lot of people have the energy to share or the words to describe. Be patient with them and let them take their time.

As a general tip: Always ask if they want advice, a distraction, or want you to listen. It's essential to be on the same page if you really want to provide their needs.

For now, I can't think of any more. Feel free to add to what I have already, and I might add some more later.