#take care of yourself first and foremost folks

[temporary-tats]

Preparing for my Midnight Menagerie binge - wish me luck I’ll see you fools in 24-48 hours, hopefully alive but probably not well!

It's uh, well it's going!

[aclassitag]

Announcing Krem Week!

#kremweek2024 — 22-28 July 2024

background art credit: @xfreischutz [link to original post]

*text prompt list under the readmore

This year will mark 10 years since the release of Dragon Age: Inquisition! In celebration of that anniversary and the game that gave us our first trans character, here is a prompt list - and dates - for any who would like to participate! All sorts of creative content is accepted so long as they are not A/I generated. (See examples below)

*If you want to portray Maevaris Tilani instead, that is also fine!

Please read the guidelines!

If you have any questions, reply to this post and I will do my best to answer :)

Prompt list:

1 — Anniversary 2 — Euphoria / Expression 3 — Casual / Formal 4 — Family / Love 5 — Respite / Fight 6 — Play / Satiate 7 — (Free space!)

Guidelines:

Use the tag: #kremweek2024 (@ this blog is fine too) — If you want to portray Maevaris Tilani instead of Krem, that is also welcome! Please @ me so I can rb :) For non-Tumblr folks that somehow got here: You may post submissions, please link your socials. You may choose one of two prompts in a day or do both. You may also combine as many prompts as you want from any or all of the days into a single work, just mention it somewhere.

Types of content allowed:

Illustration and writing are the most obvious forms of art allowed, but they're not the only ones! Literary arts fanfics, drabbles, poetry, plays, lengthy headcanon/meta posts (for headcanon and meta posts, minimum of 100 words+) Visual arts doodles, paintings, graphic design, photoshop memes, photography, animation, tiktok skits, abstract, fiber arts (embroidery, knitting, etc), ceramics Audio art fanmixes(curated playlists), original or cover songs Other crafts are also welcome! e.g. culinary, resin, woodworking, etc etc ..essentially, whatever type of art it is, I'll accept it so long as it falls within rules and is related to Krem or Maevaris :) For things that are more abstract, do include an explanation of your thought process on how it relates to Krem. E.g. you made Krem's Seheron Fish Wrap or Rice Pudding, take photos of your cooking, and post that (with the explanation that it is Krem's recipes) - that's an acceptable submission! You're allowed to explore different mediums everyday! You don't have to stick to one form of art for the whole week. I will be attempting to schedule reblogs in the 'prime time' for engagement, and in the interest of fairness, things like headcanon posts, fanmixes, and WIPs will not take priority in that time slot over fully rendered illustrations or complete fanfics. They will still be reblogged, but scheduled for other time slots.

Content Rules:

No A/I generated content. (Specifically GenAI content) As above, any and all forms of art is welcome. It must be human made, and by you. The whole point of working off a prompt is to explore a creative process, anyway - do yourself a favour and just enjoy making something! It doesn't have to be pretty! No reposting of other people's works. This must be your own creation. Obviously, no transphobic content. No harrassing others over their specific headcanons - be it in regards to any trait or quirks that come with being a person. People come in all sorts of wonderful variety, please respect that. In addition to above: No whitewashing, racism etc. Please note that Krem is not pale-skinned in canon, and I will not be reblogging content of him being portrayed as pale. 18+ works need to be labelled. On this blog, its tagged as "#adult art". Please add content warnings as appropriate. (E.g. portrayal of binding with bandages should have a warning label of "cw: unsafe binding", etc.) If your post/submission is lengthy, please insert a read more. This helps readability on the dashboard. Progress / WIPs are fine too!

General tips:

First and foremost, do what you are able to! Don't feel pressured to complete a full week if you need to take care of yourself first. Some people work on the prompts before the week even begins, and only post it day of. You are not required to do this, but if you really want to fill something for each day, this helps reduce stress day of.

Mod things:

The mod isn't from the Americas, so due to timezone differences, there may be a delay in reblogging people's works. Either way I will not reblog the moment that it's posted in order to screen properly. Posts will be queued between 30mins-1hr apart, if there are multiple entries being submitted at the same time. All submissions will also be requeued after a week for later perusal :)

[chirpycloudyrobin]

Previous || Masterlist || START || Next

Interlude: godly husband and wife break some heavenly rules to take care of son, new heavenly emperor finds this adorable and lets them get away with it

jiang yanli ascends first, despite dying after jin zixuan. turns out fate sees sacrificing yourself as a non-combatant with very low cultivation for a demonic cultivator who is at the brink of insanity takes some insane balls. fate sticks her in the water master role immediately after ascension and heaven sighs in relief that shes not another water tyrant.

jin zixuan ascends second as the new martial god of lanling or maybe shandong. technically he got his heavenly calamity shortly after dying but he wanted to stay behind and wait for his family to pass on naturally before ascending. fate saw it as very romantic and let the man do his thing.

they both agree that wei wuxian is not to be blamed for their deaths and to bring him up as a deputy god when the time comes.

their first and foremost worry is, of course, their baby jin ling. they cant go to him immediately as they have to settle in their new roles as gods. they have to establish themselves first, and that means amassing believers.

it takes them a few years but eventually they have a good cluster of worshippers within lanling and yunmeng and other, scattered areas. nobody really recognises them as the former lanling jin heir and the former young mistress of jiang since most of their worshippers are either non-cultivators or rogue cultivators who dont want shit to do with the formal cultivation sects. righteous clan cultivators, after all, dont have time to practice something so common as the common folk's religion.

they first appear to jin ling through dreams. jin ling knows them as his parents as soon as he was able to understand. granted he still gets pretty upset that he only gets to be with them through his dreams but jiang yanli and jin zixuan are stretching the rules pretty thinly already.

it's through his dreams that jin ling gets the full picture surrounding his parents' deaths. he still hates wei wuxian just a little bit, but that's just grief for you.

when jiang yanli and jin zixuan get their own deputy gods, they assign a couple of them to infiltrate jinlintai and end up working close to jin ling. through them, jin ling was able to have an additional way of contacting his parents short of actually, physically meeting them. the couple essentially strong armed their way into raising jin ling from beyond their mortal time, but heaven and fate are apparently okay with it.

so jin ling grows up with his parents' influence. he has jin zixuan's tsundere tendencies, but around those he is closest with he is a bit of an extreme mother hen. he has few friends around his age, still, but hes a lot less lonely compared to his canon counterpart. he has his martial aunts and uncles, the deputy gods his parents sent to teach and take care of him. when he grew old enough to go on night hunts, he often takes detours with his caretakers to help his parents' worshippers. he does it enough that he ends up being known as his parents' messenger or (more embarrassingly) their priest. he cannot let the cultivation world know of that. absolutely not.

does jiang cheng know of his sister and his brother-in-law's ascension and their active participation in the raising of jin ling ? absolutely. the first thing jiang yanli did when they met in the dream world was apologise for leaving him all alone, but also whack him upside the head for the absolute stupidity he and wei wuxian got into after her death. jiang cheng had to confront his complicated emotions about wei wuxian a lot sooner. jiang yanli is severely unpaid as the family therapist.

jiang cheng makes up for it by helping build temples of her around yunmeng and the hubei area.

overall, their family is as perfect as can be. almost.

one final question lingered: where was wei wuxian ?

wwx had died, yes, but they found no sign of him in the heavens. according to (reluctant) heavenly emperor xie lian, he wasnt in ghost city either. they scoured the earth but no fragment of his soul could be found.

maybe jin ling hates wwx a little for worrying his mother and uncle with his disappearing shenanigans. maybe.

and then the dancing goddess of dafan mountain happened. his jiujiu thinks wwx somehow took over the body of the dude who was with mo xuanyu. who he proceeds ??? to whip ??? jin ling is definitely tattling to his mother.

in their shared dreamscape that night, he does tattle to his mother. unfortunately, his jiujiu also tattles on him for taking the dancing goddess head on. theyre both scolded to hell and back that night.

whatever. at least they have a clue where wwx's soul had gone. does it weirdly coincide with heavenly news of a newborn calamity level ghost ? yes. but what is a calamity-level ghost against the wrath and worry of a big sister ?

[smitethestate]

Sorry if it's weird to ask you this but you're one of the only people I know to ask.

I'm very afraid of project 2025 and a national abortion ban. What do I do?

It's not weird to ask, I know some things on these topics.

One thing to remember is that those absurd Senate filibuster rules are still in place. Even with a red House and Senate, it will be very difficult for Republicans to pass any major national legislation because the Democrats in the Senate will filibuster. A national abortion ban will be virtually impossible.

Project 2025 is a different beast. But there are a lot of actions you can take to fight or protect yourself. I recommend trans folks who want to or are currently transitioning to look into DIY hormones as soon as possible, and stockpile anything you can get.

First and foremost, learn about Project 2025. There are already a lot of analyses out there, including what to expect to go into effect first and what are the biggest threats.

Figure out what you need to do to protect yourself before you look to help others. If you can help others, figure out how you're best suited to help. Who are the most vulnerable in your area? What are your skill sets?

Then look to community wherever you can, online and/or off. Mutual aid groups are everywhere. There are already organizations dedicated to helping undocumented migrants and stopping deportations. If you can't handle joining up with something, do what you can online. If you can't handle that either, you need to take care of yourself more.

Remember that you can't fill other people's cups if your own is empty.

For now, allow yourself to be scared and know you won't always feel that way. Hold on to the people in your life. Take deep breaths. Remember how many good people are in the world. Let yourself feel anger, despair, and whatever comes up, and let it wash through you and then out.

Anyone with additional tips and resources, feel free to add to this.

Things are bad and will get worse, but nothing is over as long as any of us remain alive. You can't help everyone, but helping one single person means everything to that person. Focus on what you can do and don't fall into the fantasy that you can or ever could save the world yourself. This is advice based on my own experience. If you have more specific questions, you can ask or message me.

[birb--birb]

Yall really care about Astarions consent and bodily autonomy until it comes to him saying yes to something.

Player: Can I kiss you?

Astarion: If you must. (devnote: [Vampire Spawn] - Joking, delivered with a sigh and an eye-roll, "Oh all right, go on then, if you must..." kind of tone.)

[13leaguestories]

Hi! I have finally decided to start the journey of creating an interactive fiction story. I absolutely love your works and have always found I have an inkling for writing, If you have any basic tips or general things that helped you I would really appreciate it because looking online is so confusing. Im a 19 year old full time college student and athlete so it will be a slow process but any insight would be extremely helpful. Thankyou! :)

Oh shit, I was in the same boat. Used to be a college athlete as well so I know exactly how much time you're about to have on your hands to do other things lmfao.

General advice and biggest: do not over exert yourself. I know this is something everyone says and it feels so ... simple. But I am being 100% honest. Even when you think you're on a roll and can write like 50k in one sitting, don't. I say that because burn out WILL catch up and burn out doesn't just leave after a week of a break, that bitch takes forever to truly recover from. I don't know how else to say it but please take care of yourself. Your brain, hands, all that.

Keep it light and fun. Remember to keep it light and fun. I wrote Dragon Racer while in college and a lot of shit fucked with my mind leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Another piece of advice that I know folks always talk about but always like to argue: write for yourself. I kinda lost that along the way but it really is true. At the end of this, you're the one whose going to fall out of love with something you wanted to do. That doesn't sit well. This is for you, first and foremost. Ask yourself if only a handful of people ever read your work and if that makes you never want to write again. If the answer is yes then some self reflection needs to be had. Just being honest. Where's that meme of "try to change my mind."

Of course you want folks to read your stuff but if you're not in love with what you're doing then it will feel like a job and that's when it falls apart.

Resources wise ....

Just learn coding. Never stop learning. Never cut yourself off from learning coding.

Tons of writing resources. Have an entire folder on them. Also figure out what your weaknesses are (yes, we all have them, I for one suck at action) and get advice and guides on them. Like, there are tons of them everywhere. Like this is literally just my subfolders: Do not ask how many files and folders are in those. Literally just type in something to a search engine like "shades of colors" or "ways to describe sadness" shit like that and you'll get tons of results. Have numerous articles about the same thing.

Read. Read. Read. Read.

Read some more. And I mean things you wouldn't normally read too.

Either get a writing circle or join writing groups so people can give you their thoughts. You need that, period. Ask other writers. Most of us don't bite. Some of us do.

https://www.motoslave.net/ for Twine things. That's my bible for SugarCube

Oof that's enough, hopefully. I really do wish you all the luck in your writing. And I'm honored you even thought to ask me for my sliver of advice and thoughts on it. I love seeing more writers appear, we just want to share our vision and the world can never have enough of that especially nowadays will bullshit AI.

[amethystfairy1]

Amethyst… You can’t be doing this to me😭

No, but seriously, how am I supposed to get through finals while I have TT and TTSBC on the brain? That is to say, I absolutely adore your work! Reading it made me want to write again after… 6 years, I think. I’m debating participating in Beyond and I might just bite the bullet at this point.

Now let’s get down to business. You said you liked rambles, so I would like to offer my own thoughts.

First, for TT, does the hurricane have anything with a maybe missing siren/merman we haven’t heard of in a while?👀 I also remember you mentioning at some point that there might be a Xornoth appearance, so now my brain is full.

As for TTSBC, (I was debating for a while if I should even share this, but here goes nothing) I came up with a sub-species and was wondering what you would think.

I’m imagining there is a community of something called shadow mutants. They are like the second removed cousins of the voidwalkers. They are, first and foremost, living shadows. You know how when it’s dark and you can’t be sure if what you see (or more precisely, can’t see) is the darkness or just shadows? I’m basing them on that whole felling. A kind of mutant that is the boogieman of the under-city.

They are reclusive, much like blazeborns, they just do their own thing. They live in caves, mostly in the deep dark, making their homes out of the shadows and darkness. Their whole thing is that they can disappear in the shadows and live there their whole lives. When they are little, they have to learn to use glamor to maintain a “human” body, and even then, they have the shadows moving on their skin and pitch black eyes (I mean that the iris and the sclera are black).

They can take over shadows, be it that of an object or a person, but they have to be careful. When they take over a shadow, their “body” stretches or contracts to fill out the space and it can feel like breaking bones and tearing muscle. It takes a lot of glamor control to make it so that the mutant isn’t hurting in a situation like this.

They both worship and are afraid of lights, as light is the thing that creates shadows, but take the object away and the shadow effectively “dies”, so they have to think about when and what shadow to take over. The most powerful ones can even control the object or person in whose shadow they are.

If they chose to live between the folk in the under-city (a lot of them chose to never leave their shadows, never using their human body), they work odd jobs, but mainly as cave explorers and/or armed forces for some of the mobsters down there.

It’s a universal truth about them that in fight or flight situations, they hide. If they are felling threatened while in a shadow, they will either stay there and wait, or move over to another one, jumping from object to object to get away. If they are in their physical body, they will try to get to the closest corner and make themself as tiny as posibile if they don’t have shadows they can hide in. As a last resort, the shadows will peel of their skin and act as a distraction, moving on the walls or behind them, creating the illusion of something bigger.

So…

What do you think? I hope you enjoyed my rumbling and you take care of yourself.

Now I have to go back to finishing my project for todays presentation (I’m a procrastinator at heart, it’s my own fault, but I’m gonna get through it just so that I can post some of the works I have drafted).

I LOVE THE RAMBLING!!!

They sound so cool!? Shadow mutants? That's so spooky and awesome sounding! I love the concept of them moving between shadows and using glamor to materialize, that's such a fun dynamic!

Oooo does it have to do with a certain missing mer? Maybe, maybe, that's certainly a good catch there, not many people pointed it out because they were too busy worrying about Gem going after Scar's head 😆 Hope your presentation went well! Thank you thank you for sharing your subspecies idea, I loved it!!! 💖

[salixsociety]

Who goes there? 🕯

Moi! I'm Willow, any pronouns, I'm an Alaska-based folk magic practitioner, hailing originally from the Low Saxon part of the Netherlands. My magic consists of Low Saxon, Frisian, Dutch and broader Germanic folk practice/magic/medicine, and Germanic polytheism, which I loosely syncretize with Orthodox Christianity. I consider heathenry my true faith. My focuses in my daily practices are primarily on magical and medicinal herbalism, folk magic for wellbeing, worship et al, etc. Professionally I am a mineralogist/gemologist and I'm very passionate about my mineral collection! Despite how it may look at times I am in fact a radical leftist. I believe first and foremost in wellbeing and liberation for all and I am not interested in engaging in debates about this. If you are confused about my hostile attitude towards Western Esotericism, Wicca, and New Age/New Religious movements, please refer to this post, which will explain why I feel the way I do. This blog will be mostly about connecting to your local environment, living off the land, getting in touch with culture, gods and spirits, functional syncretism, magic everywhere, and general ramblings about related topics. See #apothecaric allerlei for all of my blog posts and informational posts. #willow reads will have all of my book reviews. #apothecaric art will have all of my art, and see #herbarium for all of my plant musings and info!

Resource masterlists will appear here: Germanic Paganism Resources

Where to contact me: - I have a carrd with more information about me. - I have a ko-fi where you can commission herbarium, lapidarium, grimoire pages and art, please consider checking it out. For more information about my comms and readings, please see my comms masterpost. - If you want to talk to me directly, find me on discord @salixsociety - Asks are always open! You are highly encouraged to use it for whatever.

I hope you appreciate what I put out there and find it useful to your practice. Hold 'oe kreggel! (Take care of yourself!)

profile picture | header image

[ccaptain]

Oh boy, tomorrow at midnight we get into 2025. I'm excited, and I wanted to share a few words:

Personally, for the next year, I'll be focusing less on trying to be seen, and more on contents, headcanons and threads that I enjoy, and ships I have going on that return the wonderful, warm energy, the interest and the excitement for the stuff I make and show my partners. The way my inbox becomes a dumping ground for muses to do all sorts of unprompted stuff to any instances of Kaeya is a DELICIOUS energy that amuses me very much. I'm eternally grateful for deciding to drag Venus into this community, it was the best decision I ever made. 

Go into the new year feeling proud of yourself, of your accomplishments, and about how much you have produced and wrote, and about your friendships and all the things you've built for yourself. 

If you didn't wrote as much as you feel you could have, take this as evidence that a break was in order, and you'll kick back in gear soon enough. Be kind to yourself, expecially when you can't produce. You will, you're just having a much needed rest.

Now, to address something more serious, some encouragement from someone who was dragged in various situations before coming here:

Leave behind the bad parts of the year: stop making up justifications for people's past and present weird behaviors, first of all. Walk away from weird situations first and foremost. While you should not assume malicious intent as a first read on someone, it's important to avoid adopting a doormat-like behavior. You deserve respect and recognition of your efforts and time.

Groups with people who sees the effort you put into your writing and ideas poured into your characters are all around you. There may be a time where a person you really wanted to roleplay with has been dismissive of you. While it doesn't have to be necessary malicious, if it is: it's their loss. You are not anyone's personal jester, but your own.

You are NOT weird for feeling crazy for someone sending you mixed messages. During my years, I have often done ''reality checks'' by bringing stuff that made me feel confused/conflicted to my trusted people, and hearing from them if it was an appropriate situation to react strongly to or if to leave it be. I will still do this if needed, unapologetically so, and I recommend this method if you're on the fence about someone's behavior or a particular situation.

Don't chase people who clearly have no interest in you. The situation won't change, I speak from experience. Focus on the folks who want to hear you. You cannot command or control a person, you can simply turn around and leave them to their own devices. And remember this: if it waddles like a duck and quacks like a duck... then it's a duck. If they don't care, they don't care.

In a comfortable environment, you don't chase. You sit back, relax and enjoy your group and the ideas y'all have.

Remember all this as you walk into the New Year, and eat lentils. Mwa!

[herebecritters]

Since it is the New year I guess I’ll do an Opinion™️ post.

The hardest thing about making ocs, whether it be for fandom or completely original ones, is getting people to actually care about them.

For example, my canon character art gets way more attention than oc art. And this is completely understandable. People KNOW those characters. Know them way more than my ocs.

Canon characters, for the most part, have a story. There’s established completed content of them for people to feed off of. They know these characters because there’s substance that allows us to learn about them.

If you want people to care about your ocs, you MAKE them care. Write fics of them, draw art, make comics, give your ocs a story. A list of quirks and one image isn’t enough sadly. Take people on a journey with your ocs, that’s how they really will get to know them. It’s not the likes and dislikes of an oc that makes them, it’s the obstacles they face and the choices they make to overcome them that do. It’s REALLY HARD to do but trust me it’s REALLY rewarding. And you’ll become such a better artist and story teller for it.

So take all those little stories you have bouncing around in your head and make them tangible! Even if it’s not perfect at first, trust me you WILL improve the more you keep at it. And it’s gonna suck when you bust your ass and make a comic or write a fic that you’re super proud of and it only gets a few notes, but don’t quit. Make it for yourself first and foremost. You aren’t losing anything, you’re creating something and growing. Eventually your work will resonate with folks, even if it’s just a few, and when it does, it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

Story telling is a uniquely human thing. Be proud of it.

Take your ocs on a journey. Show us who they are.

[ask-obt]

Keaton good luck with the dozens of hate mails (which I gladly contributed to make) that Julius has shielded you from now coming back at you?

// I'm just gonna slide out-of-character for this one because the only one "shielding" these asks from reaching Keaton is me, the author. Because as outlined in the rules of the ask blog, behind all the characters is just lil ol' me.

I think it's perfectly natural to feel fired up when reading stories you're passionate about, especially when it's about topics that feel relevant to you. I also completely understand that regulating how you feel and react to this sort of passion can be difficult the closer it hits to home. I don't necessarily condone how characters behave in the story, but at the very least I hope to make it entertaining and somewhat believable based on my own experiences dealing with all sorts of folks. And part of that experience is that things will slowly happen over time, and different characters will react to that development differently.

If the Keaton/Julius/Guildmaster arcs just simply hit too close to home that you can't help yourself, I may very very very gently give a temporary ban to sending in asks. This would mostly serve to give the over-excited brain a chance to rest, reset, and focus on other things to break out of the Keaton spiral. I would hope that it's not necessary, since I don't want to punish passionate behavior- but I do need to draw the line somewhere for my own personal mental energy. Maybe you could instead channel those feelings into cathartic Keaton-exploding writing? There are OBT fics out there that kill characters in gruesome ways as a form of venting and creative exercise, and that don't require my own engagement to exist. And they give a similar cathartic way to work through feelings related to the story! Backing off a bit is a request from me, as a human person writing this before I clock in at my job, a human who has done mundane things like taxes and gone to the gym and vacuum the house. Be sure to take care of yourself and your mental well-being first and foremost!

[multiplicity-positivity]

Can we get some positivity/advice for systems struggling to rebuild after one of the main fronters/hosts went dormant? They were doing too much and got overloaded and now we're not sure how to share their job, or what to do with all the trauma and emotions they were repressing for the rest of us. We keep having situations come up and not knowing how to handle them and then realizing they would've known. We miss them so much, they've been around for over a decade and now they're just not, and we're grieving. They setup a lot of plans to keep us going before they left, but we're not sure how to follow through on any of them. We miss them so much

Hi! We’re so sorry to hear that your system is struggling to keep it together after losing this headmate to dormancy. The good news is, they likely won’t be gone forever! We do know that this fact doesn’t really change much about your system’s immediate needs, though. We’ve written a positivity post for y’all, and it’s queued up for tomorrow night at 8:00PM EST!

As far as advice, here are some things we can offer which may help:

1) Come together with your system to make a comprehensive list of everything this headmate took care of when they were active. Once you have a list, try working together to see which headmates may be able to handle which tasks, duties, and obligations. You can break up big tasks into multiple smaller tasks if that could make things easier!

2) If you have commitments or obligations coming up which no member of your system feels equipped to handle, or that you all collectively cannot deal with, maybe see if it is something you could cancel or postpone. It’s okay to have to back out of previous arrangements, cancel plans, or adjust them accordingly so that your schedule is achievable for your system! If you have to cancel plans with someone who is not aware of your plurality, you can simply say “something came up,” or “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed/burnt out at the moment and have to cancel.” Both of these things are okay to do - you all need to focus on surviving and finding stability first and foremost!

3) When it comes to processing trauma and heavy emotions, we seriously recommend therapy. A therapist could likely help your whole system adjust to the loss of this headmate in many ways! If you don’t have access to a good therapist, we don’t recommend trying to work through and process trauma on your own. This may be painful to come to terms with, but it may be better to try and metaphorically box up your trauma until you’ve reached a better time to focus on working through it than force your system to come to terms with everything too soon.

WRT the above point, in the meantime, you can focus on learning grounding techniques to help yourselves when you’re experiencing a flashback or painful memory in order to calm down and orient yourselves in the present. We do have a post with a few grounding techniques that have been useful for our own system, which we’ll link here!

4) We do have a post on coping with the temporary loss of a headmate which may have some more beneficial information and tips for y’all. Here it is:

This post ^ has some ideas on how headmates can properly grieve, mourn, and process the loss of a headmate to dormancy, so we really encourage y’all to take a look!

We hope something we’ve shared here can prove useful for you all. And again, look out for that positivity post tomorrow night! Our deepest condolences go out to you and your whole system during this difficult time. We’re wishing y’all the very best and hope that you’re all able to effectively adjust to life without your former host. Don’t hesitate to reach out if we could be of any further assistance!

[pathogenflock]

I feel like the way people act in the cc fandom, in terms of discourse, is very harmful. To others, yes, obviously, but also to themselves. This post isn't in response to any recent incidents (none have happened that i know of at least - I've been pretty disconnected from the fandom recently, mb). I wanna preface this by saying, first and foremost, that I acknowledge the absurdity of what is basically a heart-to-heart with a fandom for a facebook game LMFAO so lets get that out of the way, but it IS a game - and by extent, fandom - that I hold dear to my heart (no, seriously), so I kinda felt like a post like this would probably do some good, or at the very least wouldnt do harm.

In the time spent in this fandom, I have seen the way in which people treat each other in disagreements. It's hardly constructive, often vitriolic, and always rooted in taking whatever the opposing side has said in bad faith. I've seen massive, weeks-long arguments stem from tiny, petty disagreements, which would otherwise be resolved with simple communication or even letting the whole thing dissolve. (One thing to note is that I am almost never part of these arguments, more so a spectator, or sometimes even a mediator, so do take the way I speak about them with a pinch of salt.) I actually kind of get it, because I've been there. Sometimes you're in the thick of it and you're not really thinking rationally and your brain sort of kicks into high gear and you do and say things that are drastic and escalating because you're locked in this 'act now, think later' mode that just makes things worse. Or maybe it's a slowburn, never nipping something in the bud and just letting it rack up and snowball into a whole thing because you were, again, in the thick of it and convinced that doing something about it at the time it started would be the end of the world.

I digress.

If you find yourself caring about something to the point that it has a negative impact on your mental health — be it stress, anger, anxiety, sadness — I urge you from the bottom of my heart and with your best interest in mind to take a big step back to assess whether it is worth the emotions that it is causing. Ask yourself as many grounding questions as you can. Is it really that important? If I explained this to somebody out loud as neutrally as possible, would it sound silly? In five years, or three years, or even six months, will this matter? Compared to my other priorities, is this really that pressing? Ask this genuinely: try not to go into it with the purpose of belittling OR affirming your initial position.

Treat people nicely. Even the ones you disagree with. Not because you're expected to be perfectly and ontologically good to everybody, but to prevent the harm that you can cause yourself when bickering with people inevitably devolves into a pathological thing. Because it will! Anger is a very addictive emotion, and letting yourself be at the mercy of it is actively detrimental to you. Obviously, don't be a pushover and always respect yourself, but 'letting people walk all over you' and 'constantly being on the offense' are two extremes in interaction that you should never let yourself skew towards because BOTH these things will massively fuck you over.

If you frequently find yourself bickering with or making snide remarks toward somebody, if you are entrenching yourself into drama and discourse about this game, you may be causing harm to yourself. Little by little, this kind of stuff chips away at your mental state and it can leave you as a bitter, perpetually-on-the-offensive version of yourself. I know this because I have been there, and I wish I could take that time back. Please don't feel bad if any of what I've said resonates with your behavior, I am fully aware of how this kind of stuff creeps up on you and becomes tedious to unlearn by the time you're aware of it, so it's nothing I look down on, but it IS something that I want to stop from causing further harm to folks.

Beyond just this fandom, there is no specific target audience for this. Please don't think I'm targeting you. I worded this as broadly as possible for a reason. Likewise, please don't let your takeaway from this post be "Oh, I know someone who needs to hear this." There is no one thing that sparked the decision to make this post, I've simply looked back on past major things, that I have either seen or been told about, and noticed an overarching pattern of behavior. This fandom is and has been peaceful lately, so hopefully this is a good time to stop and soak this in. If you needed to hear this, I hope you take it to heart, and thank you so much for sticking by. If you didn't, then thank you for reading this whole thing anyway lol. Whichever audience you belong to, thank you for making this community what it is, because I could make a post that is twice as long as this one about its merits.

TL;DR: The way people treat each other around here is pretty unhealthy, not just to the other person but to themselves. It's a sadly ongoing problem that stems from a disinterest to engage in good faith with each other, a lack of proper communication, people's addiction to their own anger, and a tendency to perceive inconsequential things as worse than they are, thereby escalating them. This is ultimately harmful to your mental health, so I've written some ways to prevent it. This isn't targeted, don't think it's specifically about you or someone you hate, it's for anyone who needs to hear it and there is no shame at all in needing to hear it. Thank you for reading, and thank you for being part of this wonderful community (/gen).

thanks for making it this far have this extremely compressed jpeg of my wife

[skyplayssplatoon3]

Tips On Keeping A Healthy Mindset In Splatoon 3

Feeling frustrated? Beaten down? Like you're getting worse? As someone who's played since 2015 Splatoon 1 days, here's a few reminders:

Splatoon 3, Unsurprisingly, Has Major Connection Issues Nintendo likely did not realize just HOW massive this game's popularity would end up being! We're at 10 million copies sold since September 2022 (and Splatoon 3 sold 13.3 million TOTAL in its lifespan) Chances are, you're going to be splatted in unfair ways, and you're going to miss shots/damage in unfair ways. Take it as is! It's frustrating but it doesn't mean you're necessarily doing badly.

Your Worst Games Do Not Determine Your Actual Skill We all have bad days! We all have off days, we may be stressed or tired or just feeling very unfocused for the day. Maybe previous losses have us tilted and more clumsy. It's okay! No one can play their 100% best every single day. If you're having some bad rounds, take a break! The more relaxed, calm, and focused you are, the more likely you'll do better! Try to roll with the punches, learn some lessons from the losses, and find your fun in the games!

Take A Break! Play Other Games, Do Other Things Sometimes we just need to walk AWAAAY from this game for a while, especially if our frustration gets super bad. I know people wanna land just one more win, just one more rank up...But we gotta learn how to take the L sometimes and go take care of our mental health. Splatoon, while understandably frustrating at times, should always be FUN in the end too. When it stops being fun, stop playing! You'll feel much better after a break and can return to it with a clearer head!

For Best Results, Play With Friends! Universally, I hear many people have more fun in Splatoon when playing with another person, or even a squad! You can handle losses more easily while ranting or laughing together during! If you don't have friends to play with, there are many servers dedicated to finding people! Also you can just post here on Tumblr a few times; I'm sure others are looking for folks to play with too!

Ultimately, There's An RNG Element To Splatoon 3 Matchmaking Does Not Exist In This Game. In Splatoon 2, we had a ranking system! If you were A- to A+, you'd be matched in Rank with JUST A- to A+ players. Now there are the occasional smurfs (people on alt accounts), but generally you had people your own rank exclusively! Splatoon 3 doesn't have that! Not for Turf War, not for Anarchy. X Rank even doesn't have real matchmaking, as those in X 1800 have fought people in X 2500 or higher. So this means you have no control over what teams you fight, or what teammates you get. You can, and will, get unlucky. You losing does not always mean it was your fault! Some players may be more skilled / have more hours / etc, and you can't be blamed for that! Accept some losses were just streaks of bad luck that came your way. Take a deep breath, accept it as it is, and go on to the next match!

I hope this helps, and remember to take care of yourself first and foremost! And as much as we love it, it is indeed just a game, and has no bearing on you as a person, your self worth, etc.

[tirfpikachu]

i just saw an endearingly old post of one of my earliest peaking takes. i was frustrated at how little the left cared about detransitioners.

i do want to reinstate that caring about detransitioners and the growing number of (non-transphobia-related) detransitions doesn't mean that all transition is done to escape something. for some, it truly is in their best interests in the end, yadda yadda. you can care about more than one issue. and this issue actually affects you too.

even for those who are explicitly transitioning to escape the patriarchal abuse on female/afab folks and gnc people, who am i to feel anything other than bittersweetness at being left behind as a gnc woman? and perhaps a faint feeling of unnervement in my own self-perception, same as when i see any other major body modification a female person does around me…?

what i truly want is happiness under the patriarchy for those traumatized by it. i want female happiness, gnc happiness. i just... worry. i worry, because you have no idea the concerning amount of detrans folks in my askbox and my DMs and my server. something is wrong. something is genuinely, truly wrong. we need to increase our speed in fighting the patriarchy, because more and more stories like my own keep piling up. this is bad news for everybody struggling under the patriarchy. it means we now have an exit door. for many, it's a necessity. for others, like myself, and many others, it was self-harm, repression, and fulfilled the never-satisfied need i have to surgically alter my face because i know i'd have it easier mentally and socially. it sucks when it's just a fact of life. i know that in some countries, like korea, plastic surgery is almost a badge of womanhood and is offered as a kind-hearted gift to women and gnc people around you. what if this is the future of transition for female/afab folks and gnc individuals? what if it becomes the deliciously tempting little exit door that just glows anytime you suffer misogyny irl or online? what if those little trans jokes people make, those egg jokes, lead to more detransitioners? which not only can be traumatic, but also harm trans people in actual need of transition; the only point that usually actually reaches non-detrans people's hearts. detransition fucking sucks. dysphoria utterly blows. reverse dysphoria? it also blows. imagine thinking this will be your deliverance and bam, you're hit with waves of opposite dysphoria. imagine the light at the end of the tunnel leading to a high cliff. imagine everything you thought you ever knew about yourself was ripped away from you and you had to rebuild yourself all over again.

dysphoria can be unpredictable. but i think we can do better. education is key. cis gnc manhood & womanhood being represented in non-sexist ways in the mainstream - including assuming it means they're gay or trans - is essential. authentic trans experiences being represented in addition to those is also key. but you must understand that i am living proof that dysphoria can heal in some cases, and that dysphoria can involve social contagion. if i had been surrounded by badass masc feminists irl alongside my cool trans friends i 10000% promise you i'd have found myself way sooner, and probably never transitioned or gotten reverse dysphoria. and i wouldn't have needed to trigger any uncomfortable feelings in trans friends when i detransitioned. it would've been better for everyone. but first and foremost for me, someone struggling with a severe dysphoric disorder that took over my life for 13+ years. marginalized folks need to handle these issues in complex, gentle ways. we aren't approaching these things the right way. we so easily celebrate people who only just start questioning being lgbt. we lock them into an identity, like my online trans friends unconsciously did with me, by not making every lgbt (or non-lgbt gnc) choice seem equally valid and wonderful. we take them at their most mentally vulnerable and we don't handle it with enough sensitivity and tact. we need more proper, healthy lgbt & gnc community support. this cannot keep happening. something needs to change, and it needs to change fast.

[nvrcmplt]

"Mr. Tyler, do you have any candles to suit a particular...ambience? I'd like to set a certain mood in my home - nothing grim or dour, but comfortable and intimate. Of course I'll still take all of your pink candles, but- Well, in the interest of getting precisely what I need-- I want the next time I have sex at home to be nothing short of magical, and that all begins with the right 'vibe'. I trust you can help me- What are your recommendations?" / please tala, from vayn, i'm-

Tyler was rather interested in this man's story - they gave the air of a posh one, but with an aura of hurt. Sven had the same, and he was an abused, abandoned familiar and that wasn't something he should really assume from his customers but it was hard to switch that side of his caring-head off. Instead though he inhaled and smiled with ease, his hands moving slow and steady, showing them at all times as he stood on his side of the counter top. "Ambience is a must-have in a places of nervousness." Tyler extends a bit, moving to bend to his left to rummage for his booklet. Tugging the folder out and opening up the laminated pages the centre spine, he didn't need to look at it to know the page he was needing.

Instead he smiled and nodded his head to the man's seemingly out their request. "Well, there's a few normal candles that just get to set the mood, slow burn wicks that last longer for the hours needed. Be it for a long dinner or sharing a bath together." Tyler moved his attention to his book, turning it to the side so they could both look upon it as he began with the wine-red twist of a candle with an ruby core, layered with a darker red. "You've come to the right place, trade secret, but the best way to set the mood for a sexy afternoon is confidence in yourself first and foremost. Pink candles are good but this bad boy is my best seller for first timers and well practiced folk." He let Vayn have the look he needed for it.

"It's made with the secreted blend of an incubi's blood. Literally a drop of it is mixed in within the wick. You'd think it'll smell of burned blood but I promise you it's the opposite. It has a deep and thick scent of rose, the blood's own trick is the subtle aphrodisiac in its chemical make up." Tyler was proud of it, took a while to make since Incubi rarely bled when asked and all that but Tyler had a good source. Ahem.

"The candle wax itself has three layers, each of them with a subtle blend to enhance the rose. The darkest red in the centre of the other two is Patchouli, a musky and earthy scent that's been associated over years and years to increase blood flow and release more endorphins. It's a fan favourite scent / flavour in a lot of stimulants. It helps a lot in arousal but also reduces anxiety - so performance issues for example could be negated in the moment. The ruby centre is Ambrette, it's another musk scent, more mallow though. Enhances sexual desire and stimulates the senses - it's the biggest chunk of this candle since I've made it a fainter scent - don't want it to overpower the other smells but since it's lacking in power, I've elongated it in being the best part to burn at its slowest." Tyler winked before continuing on.

"The first layer, the overall one, wine-red, is a strong vanilla. A standard scent to fill the room but with it being the thinnest layer it's overpowering beginning will be mixed with the rose of the incubi blood and blend with the rest of the scents of the candle itself." Tyler explained with great ease, moving to press his finger to the image of the candle burning in a fishbowl like holder, the wax happily contained. "I provide the burner for free, since you can return it when it's finished up but it'll burn for fourteen hours if left alone. I recommend burning it the moment you get home, so the vanilla can get it's blast throughout your place and the rest of the scents mingle just right. After all, room sizes can effect the affect on the body - hence, the living room with open doors would be a great start, then when the vanilla layers mostly done, move it to your bedroom to have that concentrated blast where you want it to be."

Tyler beamed a smile, standing straighter and allowing Vayn to browse the folder if he wanted too. "You don't have to worry about triggering a trane or sub-space with the candle, it's not going to take control of you or your partner, but it will probably make things a bit hazy depending on how you, yourself, are able to handle the little help boost in the air." Hands rest on his counter top, smirking away. "When I had a werewolf lover, this candle made him trigger into a rut that was already on the way, and lemme tell you, best night ever." Snort. "Doesn't do much for other demons, if anything, I'd say the incubi blood is a different smell to them but to most other species, it is a boosted anaphrodisiac."

"Of course, if that's too much - we have these scents in stand alone candles without the incubi wick, instead it's ylang-ylang, vanilla, cinnamon wicks in rose and or patchouli sticks." Tyler didn't mind what the other went for, but natural scented candles were just so good for things like this. "But if those don't tickle your fancy, I am always happy to make you a candle from scratch. We can work together to form the perfect candle scent and colours you'd like to have for your home. So, sorry to natter ya ears off. Hope something here is up your alley."