#tagging those because they’re relevant to the space

[sibswin]

I will chime in here-

As a cis guy, I don’t have a lot of horror stories on here. And I am NOT saying that to brag.

Now, I do have a couple -(skip to — for my larger point) in particular, a 30 year old guy who kept dodging the question of whether he was a twink or femboy (aka the type of guy i’m attracted to) and ended up very pushy, texting me again and again, and even when we talked and i told him i wasn’t interested because he was 30, and of course, he kept pushing in his next message until i think i blocked him. so sure, i have a couple here and there

——-

BUT, that is the exception, and not the rule.

From everything i’ve heard from NUMEROUS of female and NB friends in this space, they deal with a LOT more of this sorta thing than I do. A LOOOOT more. Like, an absurd amount.

Guys spamming, chasers, more creepy older guys, pushy ones…

And sure, i may be open to more people than you (OP), but almost everyone i meet is nice and caring. That does NOT seem to hold true for most of my female and NB peeps.

I might have a few bad stories. But only a few….

Listen, I won’t act like i’m the first person to discover sexism and misogyny. Especially since i’m a guy obv. but like

This ISNT a nsfw blog thing

This ISNT a normal thing

This ISNT an acceptable thing

And it ISNT okay.

It’s a shitty sexism thing.

And yknow what, there’s a nonzero chance that one of the guys like this will be reading this right now….instead of just telling you to unfollow me, lemme tell you how to hopefully be a better person while horny. this comes from someone who has messed around with more people here than you can count.

1. READ. THEIR. PINNED.

Seriously. Before you ever interact with someone, read their pinned. Please. Look at it, read it, and abide by it. If they say do not DM, DO NOT DM. if they have a specific boundary, ABIDE BY IT. Seriously. And actually, i’ll also send this one out to some of the ladies out there. While it’s not caused any major problems and i don’t really hold any ill will, and people quickly apologize when they mess up, there have been incidents in the past where someone accidentally violated one of my boundaries due to not reading my pinned. (in particular: the no romance boundary). So yeah, read people’s pinned.

2. IF IT IS A GREY AREA, ASK FOR CLARIFICATION!!

Even a simple “hey i hope you’re open to x,if not that’s cool” IS GREATLY APPRECIATED BY PEOPLE. If you don’t know, it’s okay to shoot your shot, but ASK FOR CLARIFICATION. Don’t just fully jump into it, seriously. And it’s okay, people won’t hate u if they clarify they don’t want to mess around with you: they’ll probably just go “aw sorry, but i hope you find success!” not everyone is into everyone, but that’s okay, just don’t be a dick who jumps fully into it without asking if they’re okay with it

3. EITHER WAY, DONT JUMP INTO CONSTANTLY SPAMMING THEM WITH MESSAGES AND FANTASIES

That’s how you end up crossing a line. That’s how you go from shooting your shot to trying to push yourself onto them.

I usually do a playful and flirty greeting + maaaybe a short fantasy. And then leave the ball in their court. Don’t overwhelm them with tons of stuff, because then you again; go from shooting your shot, to pushing yourself onto them. If you want to give long fantasies without knowing them prior, that’s what asks are for, if their pinned and such is okay with it.

DMs are different and more personal. Be respectful.

4. DONT DANCE AROUND QUESTIONS

Seriously. To give the example from earlier of my own story, dancing around whether youre the type of guy i’d be into at all is shitty. Because you know the answer might be no, but you’re trying to hide that fact. Don’t do it. Be honest and upfront with people. if they aren’t into you, they aren’t into you, there are a million fish in the sea. and in fact, you being untrustworthy just hurts ur chances, because it signals that you’re well, not someone i can trust, and who cares about my pleasure too. Speaking of,

5. LEARN TO BE OKAY WITH “NO”

Like, okay, lemme be straight here. Some people ARE going to say “no i don’t wanna” and that’s fully okay. You also can’t change that, and you’re a dick if you try to. Just take it in stride and move on. In fact, most people who say no to you will be genuine and nice about it!….if you’re actually KIND and don’t try to be pushy on them. They might even wish you luck on finding someone and generally wont hold any ill will against you.

Finding people on here is about finding people who are compatible with you - and not everyone is compatible! but just because you two aren’t compatible doesn’t mean they hate ya or don’t like ya as a person. They probably hope you do find someone who you’ll be compatible with!! You’re both just players of the same game, after all. That’s all there really is to it

Plus, well

6. RESPECT OTHERS, INCLUDING WOMEN AND NB PEOPLE, AS PEOPLE

This is also part of respecting “No”s but this goes in general.

No matter how degrading or kinky or whatever anyone on here is, they’re a real human person who has a whole life and personality and EVERYTHING. and like this goes for people in general but like

Women are human. just like. seriously yall

Respect them.

They deserve respect. Just like you and I.

this might sound blindingly obvious but considering the type of guy who might be reading this, i’m saying it

7. PEOPLE ARE NOT KINK MACHINES

Just, genuinely. NOBODY is a kink machine. Nobody is a dispenser for you. I’m a bit tired as i’m writing this section after the others but like. Don’t expect kink from them 24/7. Don’t expect kink unless they want to do it. In fact, maybe you shouldn’t “expect” anything from anyone at all, because it is not an obligation from any of us. If someone is taking a long time to respond to you, that’s okay! Hell they have the right to not respond to you, I REPEAT, THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT RESPOND TONYOU. But they also might respond to you, but there is no obligation for it to be in a timely manner!!!!! People have lives. People do things. People are not just horny dispensers for you. Please, learn to be okay with that.

And side note, no, idc how sex addicted you are, you probably wouldn’t be a kink dispenser either. Take it from another guy who felt like horny stuff was an addiction for him and still does tons of stuff- when i got on here and overall messed around, I realized that as much as i did things, i also wasn’t up for things 24/7, and didn’t want to do stuff with everyone all the time, and sometimes felt the pressure from that myself. I have met people equally as absurdly horny as me, but NONE of us are kink dispensers. And you probably wouldn’t be either, so don’t try to just act like there is someone out there who is, because u think ur constantly horny. idk if i communicated my point here well

8. Kink is kink. but kink is not real life.

There is a play space, and then there is real life. And sure, they might have some overlap, but…let’s put it like this, using an example from my perspective

A woman is being, in kink/play space, mean and degrading to me, and I like it, because that’s what i’m personally into.

And then suddenly, she says something that feels romantic. And I IMMEDIATELY start feeling very uncomfortable, because that is personally one of my boundaries.

If I then bring this up to her, and she doesn’t immediately step out of kink space for a second to apologize and acknowledge me and my uncomfortability, that is then a problem. Why?

Because kink hurt can feel good. Real hurt? Doesn’t.

Whatever hurt that form takes, even if unintentional.

Because in reality, it is all just a scene. There might be some real emotions mixed in, but it’s not real.

In reality, you should both be doing something that makes you both feel good. That is the goal!!!! Hell even if ur doing a kink as a “only for my pleasure” type thing, which i have discussed with someone before, the byproduct of it being only for one party’s pleasure SHOULD BE THAT THAT FACT FEELS GOOD FOR THE OTHER PERSON!!! And, while you should always have safewords, YOU SHOULD ESP HAVE SAFEWORDS IN CASES LIKE THAT!!! Even thw time i discussed doing this in particular as a kink I was also very clear that the other person would NEED to immediately tell me if it didn’t at all feel good, and I had to trust them to, since the point would’ve been that i wouldn’t care. (unless they told me it wasn’t feeling good)

And like,

YOU. SHOULD. TAKE. CARE. OF. YOUR. KINK. PARTNERS. AS. PEOPLE.

And now, now, take the example I used earlier; of someone stepping out of kink space to apologize for making me uncomfortable and to acknowledge me.

Now, flip the genders.

And put yourself in the shoes of the person who crossed a line, even accidentally.

Would you be willing to step out of kink space? Would you be willing to acknowledge them? Would you be willing to apologize? Genuinely?

Would you?

If the answer is no, you need to change that before you engage in kink.

Please. I’m begging you.

That’s what matters

9. JUST. BE KIND YALL

And this, really, is what it all comes down to. Be kind, to your kink partners, as people. Respect them. Don’t straight up push yourself onto them. Be willing to apologize, not just to step out of kink space and help them, but because you care about them, and are willing to acknowledge when you made a mistake. Don’t dance around their questions. Be willing to have gentle conversations if needed, be willing to ask “is this okay?” or say “no is valid.” remember to have a safe word and drop things immediately if it’s said! Be willing to listen to Nos.

And…take care of your kink partners, alright?

Please.

So yeah. Some of the treatment some blogs are getting on here isn’t okay, please be kind to people out there, and….yeah

people are always annoying u damn, i feel so bad for u girlie

ahhh it is what it is. every nsfw blog on here has a loootttaa horror stories I’m sure, some people just don’t prefer to share which is entirely understandable!

[boy-armageddon]

YES my username on yt is a blood bros reference :33 i need to go to crimes world again i know in my heart and soul that i love her but i seldom show her attention .. i need to care her more ..

HOOFRAY!!!! also pretty please do!!!!!!! for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[otterloreart]

Art Prompts: 

1-TV Headed Men

2-Moth Dolls

3-Planet Themed Mermaids

4-Milkshake Dragons

5-Ice Cream Themed Superheroes

6-More Magical Pony Art (I Love Them!!)

7-Ocean Themed Space Aliens

8- Sea Snakes (They’re awesome! Here’s a link to an article about them: https://blog.padi.com/sea-snake-facts/) 

9-Snakes With Prosthetic Arms

10-An Otter With A Cute Little Bow In Her Head

I got way inspired by the sea snake prompt apparently and spent way more time than I meant to on them! I included the whip snake (highly stylized) as an example of a "land snake" (opened up one of my herp books to a random page).

If they were toys like the other snake designs they would include stands to represent the fact theyre "swimming" whereas the land snakes would have slightly more flat bottoms so they can "stand". The sea kraits have round bodies with flatter tails while the seasnakes have vertically oval bodies.

These designs are not 100% accurate to real snakes, obvi, they're artistic reinterpretations of the snakes design. For ex: the whip snake has a stripe, but also has very distinct scales, so I made them diamonds. And the eyelash shapes are just for cuteness.

ok facts about sea snakes I want to add to clarify some things stated in that article (just adding my own knowledge/clarifying things (PLEASE do not take offense to this i am glad to read facts about snakes i just have brain worms when it comes to snakes))

put under cut because it was getting too long

"to keep things simple" isn't... right: theyre split into different categories because they're separate evolutionary lines! And there are a handful of other differences (although the article does go into those later, but ngl thats why i dont like lists organized this way). Anyways, it makes it sound like these categories are not relevant to the evolutionary history imo

I would have clarified that while they all do have paddle like tails, the kraits actually have bodies more similar to land snakes, whereas the true sea snakes have vertically elongated bodies to make swimming easier and are bad at being on land.

Okay so this is true mostly EXCEPT we built a huge canal through panama and there have been sightings of sea snakes on the "wrong" side of the panama canal, specifically yellow-bellied sea snakes which live on the pacific side. There are no breeding populations, but due to human intervention there's potential risk of them being introduced.

See this is why I was like the categories aren't for "simplicity", the sea kraits are separated from the other sea snakes because of their many differences: a major one being that they come on land to lay eggs! A number of snakes all over the world give birth (though yes, not in the ocean) to fully formed (not "nearly") babies!

I would just add that this is part of why they can't cross over to the Atlantic! here's a paper!

...all snakes are carnivores (hence, weird thing to say)? unless you count eating eggs as being "not a carnivore". in which case this would be untrue because the turtle-headed seasnakes (genus Emydocephalus) eat primarily fish eggs!

and this one isn't quite right because of turtle-headed seasnakes again! They have almost no teeth except tiny fangs and as far as I can find are either mildly venomous or nonvenomous. since they dont hunt their venom glands are vestigial.

Sea snakes and kraits are elapids, which include other highly venomous snakes like cobras, coral snakes, and all of the highly venomous Australian species!

While doing research on realistic snake plushies, sea snakes made by WildRepublic were one of the major clear attempts at a retailer trying to be scientifically accurate.

Kraits DO actually look like cartoon animals

and yeah the olive sea snake does really look like that:

(although the olive one has apparently been taken off their website?)

although the way they title and tag their products continues to piss me off to no end, like this is an EEL not a SNAKE, they're just out here spreading misinformation and confusing things.

they completely rebranded in like 1999 because their wildlife plushies took off so personally I think they have a responsibility now to scientific accuracy since they took on that mantle. but i digress.

[zorosdimples]

I definitely get your point but the toxicity in fandom spaces really does make it difficult to enjoy it now especially on here. I’ve seen so much discourse in the last 24 hours in the jjk fandom and I know you say you’re trying to curate a safe space or positive space without someone looking through the tags to find new content to reblog so others can reblog in your circles it’s almost impossible to keep that ideal going? Because how would new non-toxic people ever get their work seen if it isn’t found through main tags? And it sounds like you don’t bother looking for or reading new writers work either if you said there’s no point with tags

i will answer this even though you ended it on—what sounds to me like—a passive-aggressive note. maybe you didn’t intend for it to come across that way, but it did.

i would like to start by saying that i am not a timeworn, well-established blog; i’ve been here since july 2023, which is about 10 and a half months at this point, and never shared fanfic or actively participated in the animanga community until then. a lot of people that i’ve met have been on tumblr for years. so relatively speaking, i’m a “new writer” in fandom.

i’m not going to talk about discourse or the abuse of the tagging system because i think this is an issue on any and every social media platform. unless there are mods who go through and ensure that all posts are relevant to the tags they’re under, there will always be irrelevant content in certain tags; many people are more interested in their work being seen than in abiding by any sort of organizational standards.

that said, tumblr has a unique issue. sometimes, tagging simply doesn’t work on here. it has happened to myself and countless others on multiple occasions: you tag your post currently and it doesn’t show up in the tags. it can be related to images/banners/dividers or words you use in the tags (i.e. using the word “horny” or putting “tw choking”). but other times nothing is “wrong” but your post still won’t show up! and there’s nothing to do about it except to 1. delete the post and wait it out or 2. keep the post up and let it not show up in the tags.

of course it would be nice if the tags worked and if people would keep relevant posts under the correct tags, but that’s a not realistic option currently, so there are other ways to go about sharing work. also i would like to say that while the tags aren’t a complete loss, they aren’t a reliable way to find new work. i never said there was “no point with the tags.”

this was the crux of my post that you saw: the best way to find artists and writers and individuals is through community. you can search tags and see which specific blogs are popular for those tags, and work your way from there. but writers don’t blow up and get noticed because their works are in the tags; they gain traction once they find a place in the community.

i’ve said this in private before—never on my blog—but in my opinion, there are 3 components to a “viral” post:

it’s about something that’s currently popular

it looks pleasing to the eye (to draw people’s interest)

it’s shared by the right blogs

a new writer will never be popular if they only rely on the tags; they must do digging and groundwork to find blogs that they relate to and enjoy. it’s not an overnight process. it takes time and effort. and the same goes for readers! it starts small: by finding one or two blogs that you adore. and then seeing who those blogs interact with, and working your way outward. again: it takes time and energy. but it’s so worth it.

new writers (and artists) are constantly joining our community, and we usually find them when they follow us or follow blogs that we follow. so, to address your last point: no, i don’t often sift through the tags. but i do look at every single blog that follows me, and i do follow new writers. and i do see what the people i follow are reblogging, and find new writers that way, too.

also you can filter and block words and tags that you don’t want to see, like “discourse” and whatnot. the beautiful thing about tumblr is you can curate your space to best suit you!

[garoujo]

MY FINAL MESSAGE TO MY TUMBLR HARASSER :

hi ! as you guys have probably seen on dash, in tags, in your inbox there is an anon + a blog @/ffflowers going out of their way to not only spread lies but also to completely try everything in their power to harass and ‘expose’ me.

if you’ve had them in your asks or seen their posts you would’ve seen a link to a callout post from 2021 regarding a conversation that took place on an old blog of mine. their agenda with this callout post is to ‘prove’ that i apparently ignored this completely and got ‘run off’ tumblr without taking any sort of accountability for what was said or making any sort of apology.

this is not true, back in 2021 i took and still take full accountability for what i said and have never denied it, i made 3/4 separate apologies at that time, one of which was my pinned post for around a week and have continued to grow and do better as a writer and as a person since.

this particular discourse was resolved at that time, i never avoided confrontation and admitted i was in the wrong because i was, i was caught off guard and panicked with a topic that i felt intimidated by — i apologise and take accountability for my own ignorance.

while on the subject of this discourse post, i’d just like to prove my statement in this post where i said this particular situation was not what drove me to leave tumblr temporarily— this can be proven by these screenshots. as you can see, the callout post was dated on the 8th of June 2021.

like i said again in my previous post about this, this did not drive me off of tumblr — i owned up to everything i said, even went back to tag every post regarding the discourse so people could read through and make their own opinion — i did not run from this. i continued to write on this blog for months after this discourse which can be proven by the literal date in which it says my blog deactivated at the top — 20th of October 2021. almost 5 months after the callout post. either i’m a slow runner or my statement is correct. again, this was 2 years ago and this person has harassed me ever since.

but while i’m on the topic, the reason i actually left that blog was due to the anon who is continuing to harass me now. i received consistent and constant death threats by the same anon for months, following the same pattern — when i stopped posting their asks, they then decided to try a different approach. they began to force themselves into other peoples safe spaces to tell them they “couldn’t write certain characters because i selfshipped with them and they belonged to me” before going on to send those creators hate and death threats under the guise that i sent them — also not true.

i left tumblr for my own safety, this anon has my private and personal details, my social media and my face reveals but i refuse to let them ruin my safe space for me again. they’ve began to add more to their stories with sudden plagiarism and ‘black fishing’ being suddenly mentioned into their posts which is again absolutely not true, my guess is their current posts weren’t getting as much attention as they expected and they had to make it a little more eye catching.

they’ve also been consistently sending me anon asks hoping to bring relevance to the situation by urging me to post about it, they will send me hate before deciding to try and pretend to be another, nicer anon urging me to ‘hear my side of the story’ or showering me in compliments about how they ‘need an explanation because they know i’m too nice for that’ again, it’s obvious it’s them since they go back to being horrible when they’re ignored, and quite frankly it’s terrifying the lengths they’ll go to harass and manipulate me.

this morning while i was at work i had received an anon urging me to do that exact thing, to talk about the discourse, they sent me consistent asks until i made my post talking about how i will no longer be mentioning it on dash, they then sent me another nastier ask immediately after before then going to post on their blog @/ffflowers almost immediately after that.

also this is part two of them harassing me here and the reason i left my last nsfw blog + them doing the exact same thing they’re doing now, they have a pattern — they will wait a few months before bringing themselves back into my inbox, when their hate asks to me are left unanswered then they play their way into other peoples inboxes hoping they will post + bring attention to the ‘discourse’ they are trying to spread. also another post i’ve made about this situation lastnight here.

they’ve become increasingly more angry and violent the longer they’ve been with me, i’ve been doxxed, threatened, consistently told to die and kms + had my character ripped to shreds on a site where i simply post writing for fun. i apologise to anyone who’s been dragged into this or harassed by this person, they are nasty and this probably won’t be the end of them either — but i refuse to let them drive me off of this app again.

i’ll be taking a small break for a few days to calm down, anon will remain off so they can’t contact me because at this moment i don’t feel safe and will be laying low on my personal acc for a while until i feel better. i apologise again for everything, the posts and my actions included, but i have no secrets.

emmie <3

RETURN TO NAVIGATION

[anjumstar]

anjum’s bkdk recs 19

Ten more (complete) sfw bkdk fic recs. If you read any of these and enjoy them, lmk! And, more importantly, let the authors know with a comment! Plus, send me your recs, and maybe they’ll make the next list!

Legend

hyperlinked title by author | word count

Genre warning(s): where relevant Summary/review

💚🧡 = fave

Recs are under the cut, organized by word count, low to high.

51. Sheets by baku_bean | 2.1k

general A cute little pre-relationship fic with our boys. It’s short, sweet, and simple, but it suits them well.

52. X Marks the Spot by sobashouto (snowandfire) | 3.3k

fluff This feels like the fic that takes place just after the happy ending. And things are still happy! Bkdk have just started dating and Deku gives Baku the gift of some homemade Dynamight merch. The boys are silly and bad at this and them.

53. be loved by bonnia | 5.4k

fluff, hurt/comfort Baku has ptsd after Dabi kidnapped him in the forest training, and Deku helps him work through those struggles with physical touch. Not very angsty, yes very cute.

54. song on a policeman’s radio by ohwickedsoul | 6.6k

angst, drama warning: MCD This was an interesting mixed media fic! It’s an amalgam of article intros, tweets, and court reports. It’s a toughie, don’t miss that MCD tag (like I did, lol), but its unique style captures lots of relationships in a succinct way, and it feels very professional in terms of the court-speak, although, I’m certainly no expert!

55. What Was Missing by Randstad | 8.2k

general, fluff Bakugou gets hit with an honesty quirk, but he has some things he’s not quite ready to be honest about. Yet, being honest feels a bit better than he thought? Lovely prose and a good balance of Baku’s character. Definitely focused on him, but good moments from Deku too.

56. Not All Heroes Wear Capes by vulcanhighblood | 11k

pining, fluff Fake dating…kind of? Deku is suddenly a great subject of interest to the paparazzi and Baku intervenes in many ways and they start spending more time together. Baku is appropriately immature and selfish and selfless and Deku pushes back on and off against Baku’s behavior. It’s fluff that doesn’t just rot your teeth—there’s proper balance.

57. close but not quite by blossomshed | 13.9k

action/adventure, romance Okay, this one had extra special bonus good characterization. It had details from Katsuki that absolutely have canon basis, but that I so rarely see drawn on in fic, and I was floored. This is a classic “Deku gives Baku OFA via kissing” fic, featuring acespec!Katsuki trying to figure out what the heck kissing is about. So much explored in so little. Fantastic.

58. invincible by supercrunch | 20k

action/adventure warning: non-graphic human trafficking An interesting canon-divergence, here! The sludge villain never goes after Katsuki, so Izuku never goes to UA. And he falls into a pit of depression. With only a bit of parental nudging, Katsuki goes to help, and his idea? To start being vigilante partners together. I found it to be a compelling alternate view for them!

59. we will wait and wait in that space by roadtripwithlucifer | 22k 💚🧡

angst warning: MCD, manga spoilers ch367 Okay, only read this one if you’re ready for the real real hurt. Because know that it has an uplifting ending, it is not needless pain, but I, the robot of the bkdk fandom, cried real tears with this one. It twists the most beautiful knife and has some of the best Deku characterization to date. And such gorgeous love. It is worth the pain, but do not read in public!

60. Sink to Swim by cinnabee | 35.7k

angst warning: big torture, constant suffering for our boys. Remember what I said about the real real hurt? Yeah, that one was the big cry one, this one is the big tension, big whump one. As the warning says, this fic has very explicit, repeated torture in it, the game is basically that the boys have been teleported from UA into a torture maze that they’re trying to find their way out of. I, personally, loved the tension and the pacing, but it’s def not for everyone!

✨ Bonus! ✨

perfect by eggstasy | 2.7k

fluff No bkdk in this one, just Bakugou x 3. It’s Bakugou and his parents from when he’s born to when he develops his quirk and them just loving on him as a little baby, despite him still having some of those, hrm, lesser traits that he has as a teenager. So cute.

more recs can be found here 💚🧡

[thecleverqueer]

Random thoughts during The Mandalorian S3:E1 “The Apostate”

*******WARNING: SPOILERS*******

Last chance. Turn back now. No? You good!? You okay!? You sure!? Okay, then let’s get into this:

*Bo-Katan was right. They are absolutely a cult.

*Holy shit! TF with the giant ass crock in the river?!

*Um. If a massive reptile like that surfaced while I was in the middle of my weird cult baptism, I’d consider that a sign from whatever god or ancestors I worshipped that this shit just isn’t for me.

*Din coming in clutch for his cult.

*Crock guts all over the beach! Yes!

*So… Din and the Armorer are having EXACTLY THE SAME conversation that they had in The Book of Boba Fett… again. Because, oops! We did two whole ass episodes of the Mandalorian (which ironically had no Boba Fett despite him being the titular character) because we felt like the name “Boba Fett” couldn’t hold its own weight in fandom, and now folks are going to be lost and confused. Good work!

*Hmm… space whales… Wasn’t I JUST TALKING ABOUT SPACE WHALES!?!

*Is Din asleep at the wheel? He looks like he’s asleep at the wheel. Is it okay to sleep through hyperspace? Come on, Din.

*Wow. Nevarro has been glammed up!

*We have a tree full of Salacious Crumbs….

*Ooo! We have a street band!?! Holy shit! It’s like Mediterranean Europe!

*Greef Karga is dressed to the nines, and he has TWO droids pulling his train. Jeeze, bruh! Class. Nice touch. Carl killing it!

*Greef: I thought you had completely your mission, but you’re still running around here with the same critter.

Din: It’s complicated.*

TRANSLATION: I met a “Jedi” named Ahsoka Tano that freaked out because Grogu had formed an attachment to me, and she refused to have anything to do with his training. She sent me on a wild goose chase across the galaxy to a mountain top in the middle of nowhere so that Grogu may reach out to other Jedi that may take on the task that she was unwilling to do. The kid was kidnapped by the remnants of the Empire, so I amassed a rag-tag team of bad ass lesbians plus Boba Fett to help me rescue him. It nearly went bad, but another Jedi named Luke Skywalker came, rescued us and took Grogu to some unknown forest planet. I went to see Grogu on that planet with Luke, and damn it if Ahsoka Tano wasn’t there… convincing Luke that training Grogu was a bad idea, so Grogu came back to me. Now here we are.

Yeah. That is complicated….. good job making that shit simple.

*Is that a bowl of strawberry Skittles on Greef Karga’s desk? Those look like Skittles. Skittles are now canon. Space whales and skittles… but no gays (scratch that: Gilroy gave us two gays because he’s got balls).

*Wild theory, but hear me out: Greef arguing with these pirates at the doorstep of the school are currently harboring the kids that are going to show up in “The Skeleton Crew”. Jude Law is in there right now lecturing them about something mildly relevant, but he’s not going to be revealed here. The pirates are going to chase Law and the kids out of town because of this interaction right here, and they’re going to get lost when they veer off the trade route somehow (probably via those stinking purrgil). This is the Mandalorian tie-in. Wait for it.

*Oop! Cara Dune mentioned. RIP… your actress was an idiot.

*He, uh, slick passed Grogu like a basket ball just now. WTF? That’s a baby!

*Ahhhh!!!!!

The Babu Frik species!!!!

HEY HEYYYYY!!!!

*Din (when Grogu starts grabbing at the Babu Frik dude): He’s young.

Bitch, he’s like, 50. WTF!?! He should absolutely know better than to snatch up another sentient being like that. Train your child better, my man!

*Oh Din, don’t teach Grogu to fly. He still poops his pants. This is the real reason Ahsoka noped out of his training. Grogu is still in pampers, and Ahsoka is a 45-year-old auntie that just wants stir unnecessary shit in the galaxy after sleeping for 8 hours a night.

*Woo!!! Space battle!!!!

*Din: (during said space battle) SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

Grogu: *chuckling*

*WTF was that fern pirate guy even!?! Oh my god. He was totally a house fern; a walking, talking, sentient, humanoid house fern. That was your inspiration!?

*Holy Shit!! Bo’s ancestral castle! Yum! It’s got concrete walls, House Kryze banners, an ocean view, greenery, fancy statues and a throne. Yes, Bo! Yes!

*Oh no… Bo is brooding on her throne.

*Hmm. Oddly, she doesn’t have her throne blanket in this scene… which absolutely leads me to believe that she becomes so insufferable later in this season that her wife (I can’t tell you if it’s Koska or Ahsoka, but it’s one of them) kicks her out of the bedroom.

*Good to see that despite what appears to be a pretty nasty depressive episode Bo-Katan is in the midst of, she still a seething bitch. That’s my girl!

*I feel like not giving Bo-Katan some sort of comfort animal for her to stroke while she sat sodding on her throne was a missed opportunity (maybe one of those weird dog creatures that were eating the Mantell mix on Shili in TOTJ would have been cool). Opportunity missed, man.

*Mmm… her hatred… I feel her disdain for Din. Damn. She’s tempering her more violent tendencies though, so this gives me hope that she will indeed survive this season.

*Someone call Ahsoka…. Ahsoka has this way of making brains release serotonin and oxytocin with her presence. Have her fix Bo-Katan!

Final thoughts:

Hmm. Visually, it was beautifully done. Nice sound track. Clearly talented director. The writing was kind of hokey (which, I blame Andor for the fact that I even noticed… as Star Wars was always hokey until Tony Gilroy showed up), but it wasn’t absolutely terrible. I love Pedro Pascal. That goes without saying. Katee Sackhoff did a great job delivering Bo, but she’s done it for so long, I feel like she IS Bo. Still worried for my girl, but not nearly as much as before. Not a bad episode. I’m for it. Good. Good.

[tranquilspot]

Examine Room.

[This is a rewriting of a post that has been sadly deleted, as such this version will be different and modified since I only recall the broad outlines]

This ‘young man’ is now officially John, and the tags will reflect the name change from now on. Both for convenience and non-spoil policy in case new readers happen to come across this blog.

Aaah~ The all-caps words, it’s been pinned down as a Homestuck thing. I saw a post once from someone who innocently wrote in this format. The Homestucks were on the lookout on that one x) Don’t you love it? For me it’s such a treat for my dyslexic eyes. Why can’t all writers write more like this, it’s not rocket science! Bold, italic, space between paragraphs, colors and quotes to draw the attention to the important parts. So please, no more HUGE BLOCKS OF TEXT. It’s ugly, it’s annoying, you spend 5 minutes on a paragraph cause you were reading in diagonal then went back as you didn’t (mis)understand the whole thing and read several times the same sentence/word until you finally get something. And now your head hurts/you’re irritated. Anyway, back to Homestuck proper.

Who the fuck has cakes in their room, hell SEVERAL CAKES with cream and all dripping on the furniture?! Yes I get it, I too like to bring snacks to eat in front of the computer but dude It’ll attract ants! DAD might be a better guardian than the others, but you can’t deny that behavior and parental choice wise there’s something off about him. Don’t get me started on having a HAMMER AND NAILS just sitting on the floor waiting for an unfortunate fool (tool hehe) to step on it. Well, we’ll get back to safety hazard a bit later.

You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT.

One thing that I find interesting and just noticed is that John not being good at programming isn’t really important nor relevant, what is on the other hand is that it introduces two significant elements to the story: data structures, and ~ATH (until death). The former focusing on FETCH MODI and CAPTCHALOGUE CARDS, while the latter on VIRUSES (mobius double reacharound starting in act 5). I highly doubt that it was a foresight on Hussie’s side, taking into account the ~ATH is a Problem Sleuth reference (the symbol on the cover is the face of DEATH) and him incorporating those elements in his, at the time, brand new webcomic was a flex on their computer knowledge and skills. Still I think it’s nice to point it out, as it doubles (triples?) as a soft introduction to concepts that will follow the readers far into the adventure and even pop back in as a Chekhov's gun.

You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE

This sentence is awesome and irks me, because paranormal shit is so cool but sadly people tend to overlook it and focus on the shitty movies and magician parts.

Which is so lame! John even gave a speech about ghosts and science in Act 6 Intermission 2 that was interesting and I will definitely talk about it when we get to this conversation.

Though maybe I shouldn’t talk about stuff before they’re actually brought up by the narration? Whatever I’m my own boss, I can still develop before or when it happens. You guys tell me in the notes what you think about it.

You also like to play GAMES sometimes.

Funny how among the group of 4 friends, only John and TT have ‘play games’ mentioned in their introduction. TG plays on Xbox alone or with his Bro, GG as far as I know doesn’t own any game until SBURB came around the corner.

Perhaps it’s because the author already established that those two planned to play together. Or maybe it is pointed out by the narration because it is a relevant piece of information for establishing the plot. Or even maybe it's part of Hussie “I’ve put writing rules then soon after will discard them” hijinks. Or all of the above.

John however does own games in his disk rack, and later in the adventure plays at one of them with two of his friends. But I’ll wait and develop my thoughts on the matter when we get there (for the disk rack, very soon). —>

[loptrcoptr]

I’m glad people are talking about this on good ol tumblr dot com, because I swear I only took a hiatus from this site for half a year, after a solid decade or so of daily tumblr use, and in that time I can already see an enormous change in attitudes toward shipping/fandom/interests in general that kind of worry me. So for those of yall who are young or maybe not so set in your ways…

your interests are your own and you don’t owe anyone shit. That includes explaining yourself for posting about your interests. No, no, babe. It’s your blog, it’s your rules, you do what you want.

You can’t judge a person by their tastes. Not just “don’t judge”, I’m saying you fully cannot. You can tell a lot about a person, sure, but you can’t know entirely what they are like and what their “morals” are based on the media they consume or things they are into. has a friend or partner ever told you about something they did in bed and you were like “wow idk if I would do that”. Did you immediately decide it made them a bad person and server ties?? No. That’s not how life works.

To be “interested” is not automatically to condone, and you can be fascinated with something without agreeing with anything about it. That girl on your bus who listens to serial killer podcasts and reads murderer autobiographies is not the same as a serial killer. One kills people, and the other is fascinated by it. it’s okay to inform yourself about taboo things because the taboo is inherently intriguing. The point is that you’re not out there breaking the social agreement and doing Bad Stuff. It’s kind of like saying anyone who’s into rape fantasy is inherently a rapist and that the existence of the subject is an afront to rape victims. But I gotta tell you, as a rape victim: go off queen, that’s your business. My lived experience is not relevant to your fantasy. No one’s is.

And for the love of all the gods I am begging you: there is no hierarchy of queer shipping that is more or less gay, makes you more or less gay for enjoying it, or makes you a disrespecter of the internet lgbtqiap2s+ community at large for enjoying it. I have seen so much of this type of shit in the last few months, and it genuinely frightens me. Sure, ship wars and anon hate and all that crap have always been a thing in fandom. However, this escalation into some kind of Queer Ship Pyramid of Objective Goodness is at best, whack, and at worst harmful to people’s self-worth and the next generation of kids coming online and figuring out their sexualities and identities. it used to be you just defined tropes, genders, gender identities, sexualities, and sexual acts in your tags and called it a day and that’s just… that. Now I’m finding this pattern reflected from old school anti-bi, anti-trans spaces; do not ship bi couples, they’re basically straight, even if one is trans, gender fluid, or enbi; shipping two hetero men is really just for basic straight women and is in and of itself an isolating act that ignores the needs of the queer community; ships that don’t include anyone who is trans show you have no imagination and that you are a disrespectful terf on the inside; ships that are monogamous are inherently Not That Gay, regardless of any identities or sexualities therein, because polyamory is the real pinnacle of queer evolution and something every queer person should aspire to. and I want to make it very clear that absolutely none of that is remotely true.

And it worries me that there’s this sliding scale of Nothing Being Gay Enough in fandom now. Like we’ve taken a good thing so far that now people don’t know how to enjoy it and still want that oldie but goodie gay-one-upmanship from the mid 2010s on tumblr: “I’m a better gay than you are, and I know that, because look at your tastes”. And I just hope that teens and folks in their early years of adulthood or early years of discovering their sexualities and identities know that none of that shit is real, and you are gay if you decide you’re gay, and it is not a ladder you have to climb, with monogamy, same sex relationships, and pan and bi identities on the bottom and only-trans cohabitational polyamory on the top. That is not how you support people, and it is not how you support yourself. what you’re saying is “my trans friend isn’t as trans as I am because I have two partners and he is monogamous”; “I’m a lesbian but im a better lesbian than my ex because her girlfriend is cis and mine is a butch demiboy”. This kind of shit is just an extension of the age old “you’re gay, but not that gay, because you’ve only slept with one person of the same sex, and I’ve slept with loads”.

You’re queer because you say you are, and the best way to be a queer ally to others is to not project your own self hatred upward and attempt to win an “uwu more oppresssed than u” battle online. The only person you’re fighting is yourself. It doesn’t make you less poly to read a fic with a monogamous ship. It doesn’t make you less gay to read a fic with a straight ship. It doesn’t make you less trans to read a fic where someone doesn’t have the same headcanon about a trans character as you do. your fandom preferences don’t affect your queer street cred, and it costs you nothing to ignore your friend’s ships instead of convincing yourself you’re better and gayer than they are. All that kind of attitude does is hurt you farther down the road. You’re not what you consume, and fic is for you, not for what you think will somehow make others online think you’re “gayer”.

(Sorry to bandwagon so extensively, op, this topic just concerns the hell out of me)

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[lightcheckup]

Why Are Dimmer Switches So Expensive? Uncover The Truth

Have you looked at dimmer switches online or in home improvement stores? Wondered Why are dimmer switches so expensive? It’s a common misconception, but dimmer switch prices depend on many factors. 

This blog will explain how dimmer switches work, their parts, and why LED compatibility is difficult. We will also dive deep into understanding the pricing of dimmer switches, including breaking down cost factors and debunking common myths around their pricing.

Why are Dimmer Switches so Expensive

How Do Dimmers And Switches Work? Why Are Dimmer Switches So Expensive?

Dimmer switches are an essential component when it comes to regulating light bulb voltage and controlling brightness. They can set the perfect mood when dimming from full brightness. Dimmer switches now work with LED and incandescent lighting thanks to Pulse Width Modulation (PWM) technology. 

This innovative technology lets you precisely control lighting levels, making it easier to customize. Dimmer switches with PWM technology allow you to create a bright working space or a relaxing atmosphere.

The Role of Electronics in Dimmer Switches

When it comes to dimmer switches, the role of electronics is crucial in ensuring their functionality and performance. Electronics dim light bulbs smoothly and flicker-free. LED dimmer switches use variable resistors, capacitors, and semiconductors to control the output voltage.

The Components Of A Dimmer Switch

Why are dimmer switches so expensive? Dimmer switches include resistors, capacitors, and inductors. These parts regulate electricity and light brightness. Dimmer switches also include manual controls like switches or buttons. Some dimmer switches contain smart home and automation components. The dimmer switch’s lifetime and functionality depend on these components’ quality. High-quality materials assure long-lasting fading.

The Relevance Of Material Quality And Complexity

Dimmer switches are only as dependable and long-lasting as the materials they’re made from. High-quality materials make these switches last longer. Complex dimmer switches may require more expensive materials to work. High-quality dimmer switches cost more to make. 

Premium dimmer switches are tested for safety and performance before release. Because design intricacy and materials affect cost, a high-quality dimmer switch is worth it.

Why Is LED Compatibility A Challenge?

Dimmer switches struggle with LED compatibility due to LED lighting technology’s unique requirements. Optimizing performance requires precise voltage and current regulation without flickering or compatibility issues. Some dimmer switches may not be compatible with certain types or brands of LEDs, but manufacturers are constantly working on improving LED compatibility.

The Complexity Of LED Lighting And Dimming

LEDs have changed illumination. Dimming LEDs requires new technology. PWM dims LEDs. This method controls light output while conserving energy and extending bulb life. 

LED lights and dimmer switches may work with different components and technologies. When picking a lighting combination, consider wiring, circuit breakers, and the dimmer switch. 

Why are Dimmer Switches so Expensive

Understanding the Pricing of Dimmer Switches

Why are dimmer switches so expensive? Dimmer switches come with a price tag that encompasses several factors. The manufacturing process, materials used, and technology incorporated contribute to the overall cost. 

Dimmer switches with advanced features or smart integration tend to be more expensive as they offer added convenience and control. Additionally, installation costs can also impact the final price. 

A warranty adds value and peace of mind to higher-quality dimmer switches. For those looking to save on costs, bulk purchasing or buying from reputable sellers can be a wise choice. 

You can buy dimmer switches with confidence by understanding pricing factors.

Breaking Down the Cost Factors

Dimmer switch costs depend on several factors. Their materials are important. Durable, high-quality dimmer switches cost more. 

Advanced technology and features like smartphone compatibility or voice control might raise the price. Installation costs, including hiring a professional electrician, are another consideration. 

Reliable and efficient companies charge extra for their dimmer switches. 

Finally, warranty coverage and customer support affect pricing by adding value and confidence.

[blackbloodteeth]

"SoMa no kissing in The Backroom challenge (Hard Mode)"

Well this was intended for April Fools Day but sometimes things get a little out of hand don’t they haha

I wrote this with the premise of “no plans, no backspaces” (except for fixing typos otherwise this would be unreadable) because of a joke I made in chat, which is where the exact words of the title comes from, typo included. Hopefully the nonstop work I did on this for over a week is at least worth the read.

.

[Also on AO3]

Rating:    Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning:    Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Fandom:    Soul Eater (Anime & Manga)

Relationship:    Maka Albarn/Soul Eater Evans

Characters:    Soul Eater Evans,  Maka Albarn

Additional Tags:    Religious Imagery & Symbolism,  Violence,  Blood,  Body Horror,  Trauma

Language:    English

Words:    9920

.

The story starts with Soul and Maka having left the hallway into an unidentified room, holding hands as one of them claims to tell them something (I'm not sure who we'll see if this becomes relevant later).

"Hey, I need to tell you something..." It's probably Maka.

As it turns out the room has other plans when the lights flicker and the surrounding area fades into a change of scene. The walls become a yellowish office hue, with those bright monotone white lights overhead, and an incessant buzz droning into your skull from the trademark origins of said previously mentioned standard faculty lighting.

"Oh shiot the backrooms?!" That was probably Soul.

Why yes I am keeping that typo, but also while he and her also were looking around they noticed that it may not be The Backrooms but instead The Backroom, since there was only a singular room instead of the endless horizon of identical labyrinthian empty spaces. Go figure.

"Well this is a problem."

It was indeed a problem. They continued looking and saw that it was a room and that this came with the consequence of just being a room, no doorways, no windoways, and no ways that it appeared to have an exit.

In case that sentence was too butchered to make sense, they’re locked in here now. Looks like they’ll have to survive not kissing in here The narrator insists that thought came from one of them, probably the one who had to tell the other something wink wink.

Souls eyes dart between the empty space and Maka’s squinting, wondering what the actual heck is going on and probably if he’s crazy I guess since that seems like a reasonable assumption.

“Okay...” He reigns himself in, facing her directly. “I guess we should probably figure out how to escape, and probably pray we actually can all things considered.”

She fidgets. “Solid plan.”

So the two try to assess the current state of the backish room – Which unsurprisingly still did not contain anything text worthy – Until one of them sighs, probably both, and there is another hand holding, with sincerity.

“Look no matter what happens I’ll try to stay with you, we can figure this out.”

Queue title card of area.

.

.

Part 1 – Limbo

As you may have guessed, there’s nothing much here.

This part is probably not going to be long.

The two decide to take different routes of examining the room – For Maka she focuses on her Soul Perception, while Soul physically runs his hands along every inch of the walls to see if there’s a secret hidden in them that he somehow wouldn’t have known with only his previous experience with this concept to be theoretical.

“Yeah, still not really getting anything, aside from you and me anyway.”

He sighs, as it seems his luck is similar. “Well this sucks.”

She wanders up to him, maybe to give him both an extra set of eyes and some optimism that usually one does not remain trapped in solitary room states forever (in better or worse implications), and sends him another smile that the will of some unforeseen force says he should enjoy seeing.

His glance flicks out with a sense of unease for a moment.

“Well, guess this isn’t the worst situation we could have ended up having.��� He reluctantly agrees. “Guess I could...”

She motions to him indiscriminately.

“Sit down with you and talk I guess.”

Soul shuffles a bit in place while pondering the implications of having to communicate, and the possibility that it could involve feelings and personal stuffs, and he’s not sure if he wants to do that since he is in fact the world’s most cagey bastard even if said world is currently just a box.

“What.. do you wanna talk about.” They lean against the wall, mostly that he did it with his shoulder to mirror her propping against it with her back, and she snickers slightly.

“You said you had something you wanted to tell me?”

He blinks.

“Did.. I?”

Her brows furrow with a sense of playfulness if not also a slight confusion. “Yeah? That why we ended up here in the first place, since you pulled me aside in the hall.”

He continues his stupefied blinking before she corrects herself with her hands motioning. “Okay not first place first place, but like before the room changed for whatever reason.”

The air is quiet a moment as he genuinely replays the events that have occurred just now, sifting through them to remember right before then and if he was in fact the one who was asking her to ask her something, and it dawns on him that maybe he was even if he has no idea what it was he wanted to ask in the first place.

“I’m not sure...”

But he looks her in the eyes, certain that whatever it was it was probably important.

“Guess we have enough time for me to figure out that out, though.”

.

.

Part 2 – Indecision

They pull away from the wall when suddenly it starts to shift.

The air feels almost like it’s vibrating, fidgeting like an innumerable swarm of busybody insects as the room tints to a passive shade of grey. Along each four cardinal walls soon stood four differing objects, still as if always having been there.

The closest: A couch. Black and white, plush, but strange as that soft feature appeared to stem entirely from being made of stuffed toy rats.

Across from that: A chessboard. Similarly colored while retaining a sense of normalcy being made of wood and carved plainly, albeit lacking any sort of seating to go along with it.

To the right: A bookshelf. Topped up and down with loads of books, all of different colors and most likely of different subject matter. Still they sat but quietly they beckoned with how densely populated the whole shelf was kept.

And finally: A piano. It remained silent and patient.

“...The hell is this?”

Unfortunately no answer was returned as the gleam in Maka’s eye had already taken her to personally inspecting the bookshelf of its contents, much to Soul’s eyerolling. She seemed excited though even if she still wouldn’t admit she’s absolutely a nerd.

“Wow, they’ve even got Dante’s Inferno on here...” He simply saunters away from the unsettling rodent affair, glare suspicious and unyielding toward the more concerning addition to their imprisonment.

“This feels like some sort of trap, if I’m to be honest.”

Her hair whips as she shoots a look to both him and the obvious transgressor.

“What?”

A chuckle turns her away from the book she was readying to dive right into (just a closer examination of its sudden appearance, of course), arms now crossed with that sass she never lets up even in stranger times. “A piano isn’t suddenly going kill you.”

His squint narrows further.

“Factually incorrect, actually.”

He continues before her stance has a chance to go anywhere. “Look, Black Room yadda yadda, but also people have been killed by pianos before. Usually dropped from great heights but there was that one guy who got ran over once.”

His hands motion away her imminent questioning. “Look, all I’m saying is I don’t trust a damn thing about any of this” – Each point is further emphasized with gesturing – “At least two of these relates to our personal interests, this one’s just freakin’ weird, and this… I dunno actually, looks like filler I guess.”

Maka’s analytical gaze does another brief sweep before falling back onto the rat couch with a growing smile, which he immediately also did not trust.

“...You really freaked out by the couch?”

He fidgets subtly. “...It’s weird.”

That smile overtakes her face and sends him into further restlessness, especially with how she’s flipping between him and it. “I think it’s cute.”

“You...” His blinks flutter more rapidly. “Maka it’s made of rats.”

“Soul those are clearly stuffed animals.”

“On an entire couch??”

“Oh come on, I bet it’s soft.”

He scrunches up. “God, please tell me you wouldn’t actually sit on that thing.”

Regret immediately seizes him when she gave him that look that told him oh I definitely would sit on that thing before she drops her arms, reveling in his increasing discomfort as she prods one of the vermin making up the arm.

“Yep. Feels soft.”

“Maka, please don’t...” Genuine distress starts to raise his tone when the head of the rat registered as movement when she pulled away, his fists clenched while trying to remain level headed. “We don’t actually know if that’s safe.”

A sense of playful desire to continue teasing him dissipates at his sighing, her arms now idle as she steps away, softened. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.”

His fingers scratch at the back of his hair, a murmur still keeping his focus on the potential dubiousness of him having just imagined that.

“`s fine. Just… bit on edge right now…...”

He lifts his eyes up again when she reaches her hand out to him, a huff breaking out his smirk while he meets her palm again, and a sense of comfort washes through him with seeing that despite it all her reassurance thankfully hasn’t changed.

“Like I said: No matter what happens, I’ll be with you the whole way.”

.

“So...” His eyes gloss over the different array of covers as he continues halfhearted moving each of them around. “What’s Dante’s Inferno actually about?”

Maka glances at him briefly, a smirk raised to his brows furrowing. “What?”

“I’m surprised you asked.”

“I mean I’ve heard of it before, just never read it… Probably nerd stuff…….” She snorts at his grumbled pouting. The books keep shuffling with her attention to them as she remains smiling, more enticed by the opening to inform than to seize the chance for further teasing.

“Well it’s a story about an Italian poet who journeys through each layer and learns something about what it really means and the significance of each punishment. Genuinely really fascinating, especially for the time period.”

Soul’s finger hovers over a volume of something seemingly animal related until he slowly resumes his prodding. “...Layers of what?”

She stops and blinks. “...The Inferno.”

He squints, their staredown lasting approximately 30 seconds before he takes a gander at connecting the vague dots.

“...Like Hell?”

At this moment he now wondered if she was trying to Morse code his stupidity through eyelids alone, lips raised in a patient but very noticeably befuddled shade of amusement. “Yes…? Did I not already say that?”

“No, actually.” He deadpans. “Just that there were layers and that could have meant literally anything without context.”

Her eyes visibly replay her words through her head, quickly dropping into bit of chuckles once registering that she did in fact miss that part of her explanation, much to the chagrin of one’s initial intentions.

“Sorry, I thought I mentioned that.” The book she left parted away from its brethren was then returned after having been held for long enough, a lighthearted hum resuming as she returned to inspecting the remainder of that particular shelf.

“Yeah, it’s about Hell. Each layer is divided by the different sins people who don’t want to make up for them have committed, starting from the outer edge and getting progressively more intense the deeper it goes. Pretty interesting this actually does reflect the layers of the Earth’s core while still going through all this different symbolism.”

“Yep that sounds like nerd stuff.”

He snickers as her knee retaliates into his shoulder, hands soon dusting themselves off when he finally reaches another shelf’s end with a sigh. “Well doesn’t look like there’s actually any secret switches behind any of these...”

The thud of a hardcover resounds as she frowns. “Yeah… At least it was worth a shot…...”

Blood flow restores to his legs as he levers himself back up into standing, fingers stretching as he shakes them off and rolls his shoulders.

“So, what now?”

Consideration immediately turns around to the other side of the room where – “Aside from that.” – and then moves over to the right, mentally interrogating the chess board already set up even without anything to sit up to it with. As it stood the potential hazard level of it simply being there was estimated to be fairly low, so she lets her eyebrows raise at the prospect of something entertaining for them to do. “Care for a game?”

“...Do you know how to play?”

They then plummet at the sheer audacity of the assumption that she would have said not. “Yes?”

Soul’s eyes roll almost fast enough to take his head along with the force. “Do you know how to explain the rules.”

“Oh.”

She clears her throat before walking over to the table, briefly examining it and then lifting up one of the pieces slowly, setting it back down to where it had just been after nothing strange had decided to finally descend upon them and Soul had done a thorough amount of anxious fidgeting. “Here.”

His hands tuck into the pockets of his steady gait toward the opposite end of the board – the white pieces – while she takes position across from him. The awaiting game was indeed carved in a similar manner to the table, but in the curiosity of his touch he began to wonder if it had been done in bone instead of wood…

“This front row? Those are your Pawns.” Her instruction gestures out to the relevant parts of the board. “This piece here is your King – Your goal is to make sure I don’t capture him while you try to take mine. This one is the Queen; Unlike the King who can only move one space at a time, she can go pretty much anywhere so think carefully about how you want to move her so you don’t end up wasting her abilities.”

He nods to confirm that so far things made sense.

“The Pawns also can only move one square at a time but only directly in front of them and if that space is empty. They can’t capture another piece directly in front of them, only when another piece is standing diagonally to it like this – “ A spare pawn is used to demonstrate the attack pattern. “ – If you can get a Pawn to my end of the board you can then turn it into any other piece you want.” He nods again, pieces returned to their proper spots.

“The rest of these are the Rooks, Bishops, and Knights. Rooks can move as far as they want but can only move in these directions, but you can capture whoever’s closest in any of the directions. Bishops work the same way but they move diagonally instead. And Knights move differently than any of the other pieces, kind of in an L shape like this – “ The ivory slides over multiple center squares. “ – both forwards and backwards. These ones can actually jump over other pieces so you can only capture with a Knight if another piece is on the last square they land on.”

The pieces are once again set back, this time tidied up and straightened forward, an excitement shimmering in her eyes that he knows is going to give him hell later.

“Other than that, the Pawns can move two spaces only when they’re first allowed to move and there’s a special move you can use once per game that lets you move Rook and King together, but other than that I think you’ll be able to pick it up as you go.”

Soul lets out a slow exhale while taking a moment to let that all sink in, eventually raising his shark-toothy smile up in accepting her challenge. “So, who starts first?”

“White does.”

Oh that grin definitely tells him she isn’t planning to go easy on him.

“Got it...” His hand hesitates out briefly, then extending a pawn from the middle, two spaces forward like he already knows to do so.

Let the game begin.

.

The makeshift door opened swiftly with her brisk entrance, eyes still bound to the journalings while she hurried over to him.

“Found something?”

A sharp sigh indicated that that may indeed be a yes, the papers soon sat in front of him as she did, that sternness worn unyielding even if her tone held no affront. “I think we just might finally have found the thing we’ve been searching for.”

Intrigue brings his fingers over his chin as she unfolds the relevant notes for him, scrawlings and sketches somehow still as concise as ever. His eyes tread lightly yet with care, soaking up every drop of information until eventually his gaze lifts, heavy with a newly added weight of dread even aside from the pervasive fear looming through the very air itself.

“A power greater than anything ever imagined...”

Her mutter sicks into him, thickening the tension. “Do you really believe this to be a wise decision?”

“Do you trust me?”

His thumb strokes in restless thought for a moment. “You and you alone, yes.”

“Then allow me to pursue this chance to finally end all bloodshed.”

That ideal did ring deep with him – It was no hidden fact that their very home had quickly descended into a battlefield, one that now only reeked of war and chaos in mere days, and ever the strategist he considered both scales accordingly before finally reaching his verdict, solemn yet proud.

“If it is your will, than so it shall be done – I’ll continue to follow it until the very end.”

.

.

Part 3 – Hesitation

“Checkmate.”

An air of victory resounds in the final tap of ebony across the board, Maka’s triumph lasting for only a few second before suddenly the lights start to flicker, both of them instinctively distancing themselves from the table while the room already began to shift again.

At first, nervousness at the unexpected change of scene, but soon a bewildered uncertainty with their surroundings now being cozily lit, décor more fit for a small party.

Beside them, as they looked back, was now a wider table hosting an array of tantalizing food and drink. To Soul’s left stood a grandfather clock where the bookshelf once was, ticking quietly to itself yet unassuming. To Maka’s right came a soft tune of inviting music, spun from a record that played of its own accord. And at the remaining wall there sat a simple recliner.

“Well if didn’t look like a trap before, it definitely does now,” he mutters, tension keeping his movements stiff despite his attempt to seem calm.

Maka at least appears to take this in better than he is. “Hey at least it’s friendly.”

“That’s the part I don’t trust the most.”

Her laugh turns away as she continues surveying the room, though inevitably pulled back in when his frowning murmurs at the sound that didn’t strike him as necessarily grating. “Do you think there’s some sort of… symbolism in any of this…...”

The reflection of their earlier idle talk resurfaces with a thoughtful hum.

“Hmmm… That’s a good question actually.”

Truthfully the room did seem to actually know them to some degree even if so far fairly surface level, but it having struck more than coincidences threw her into full intrigue, a finger tapping out of sync against her chin as she wandered to the middle of the stage.

“Well this is clearly some sort of party scene… Maybe it has to do with being outside our comfort zone; Like there’s stuff we’re familiar with, like you’ve got the music and food, but then there’s this sort of sense that… That sort of feeling that you just want to go home, you know? Since there’s a clock that constantly tells you the time and a chair maybe someone would want to sit on instead of moving around.” Her arms then drop to the side with a humored aside. “Or this actually is some kind of Hell and we’re not supposed to fall for temptation or something like that, either one.”

His brows furrow as he sinks a little more. Well he could definitely believe that latter just from the piano alone, though that only raised more questions as to what they’d done to end up in that kind of place to begin with, or when they were going to be able to leave for that matter.

“The last version of the room ended up changing after we did something; Maybe we have to keep choosing the correct options until we can find our way out.”

“Oh, good idea.” Her owl eyes take to immediately assessing their next course of action. “Okay, that will probably get us killed. Don’t really know what the chair would do but kind of don’t want to see how that could go wrong. Hmmm… I wonder if...” She moves her examination along the clock’s height, souring when nothing out of the ordinary revealed itself before swiveling away again. “Guess that leaves the record player. Maybe we’re supposed to shut it off?”

Soul ponders this as he also has to consciously pull his hand out of him having started chewing his nails. “Last time changed when we played along with it, I’m not sure if trying to shut it down is a good idea.”

He then tenses up at how much her eyes immediately light up.

“Oh we should dance!”

His entire being immediately scrunches into itself.

“Oh come on; I showed you how to play Chess, you can show me how to dance! I know you’re way better at it than I am, anyway.”

One long drawn out sigh later, he reluctantly admits that so far that logic is safest and most promising thing they have to work on, a timid arm extended her way once he’d slowly trudged to the center of the floor. “Here...”

Not even his pout could remain sure of itself as she bounded up and eagerly accepted his invitation, fitting right into place in a way that drew his grin out helplessly.

“Okay so I assume you know how legs work, but uh… First basic step goes somethin’ like this…...” The gears in his head gnash wildly over trying to figure out how one condenses a lifetime ago of formality into a single comprehendible list until they’re suddenly knocked out of alignment, his balance startling back when her attempt to match his movement puts her too close too fast. He brushes it off with a laugh while straightening them out to try again.

“Okay, uhhh...” And then clears his throat to reset his posture. “Yeah I don’t think I can explain it the same way you can. I’ll try to make sure you can follow along, but uh...” He can’t resist loosening up a chuckle at how serious her face said she wanted to take this.

“Just think of it like how we partner – Let me um… be your Meister right now.”

“Got it.”

With a deep breath, he takes a basic step, then another to feel for the general movement. Slowly he pulls her along, letting her familiarize with the pattern, before he eases into bringing them closer to the beat of the current song, falling into the rhythm that he made sure not to get swept away in as long as she was there to keep up with him.

.

The water swayed along with his feet, soon slowing to an end when he reached the chamber where she stood ahead of him. His eyes fell affixed to objects she revealed in hand as she turned:

One constantly shifted into itself while the other pulsed outward, both glowing mysteriously and mesmerizing enough to hold him at bay, still even while she promptly addressed him.

“These are it – We finally have both keys to unlock an end to this madness.”

And him the third…

He finally breaks away back to her sober gaze, resuming his trek toward the stone platform with a sullen breath. “You’re truly certain this will end in our good favour?”

“You have my faith. I’ve studied extensively enough to understand the process and as long as we remain together we should be able to control the outcome how we desire it.” His footsteps pause right in front of the steps up. “Are you truly prepared to walk this path with me?”

The stone answers quietly beneath his climb, gentle fingertips meeting her knuckles as their eyes locked, tender and understanding yet firm in resolve.

“My oath is sworn unbroken.”

.

.

Part 4 – Stagnation

Click.

Their steps cease when the song comes to an end, the needle’s aimless wandering soon fading into silence while the room shifts away again.

This time it appeared much simpler yet more abstract: The scene laid barren except for two standing chairs, facing both opposite ends of each other and up against the walls, the floor of which contrasted both sides – red and green – in a spiral pattern that twirled directly into the center until neither were distinguishable. This color also ran up the surface of all sides but faded halfway into a muddled shadowy ceiling, which consequently revealed the lighting to now originate from an ornate crystal chandelier that was notably hanging somewhat precariously.

Enough to fall and hurt someone if it was swayed too much, Soul reckoned.

Maka pulls away, gears visibly turning in her eyes quick to contemplate their new puzzle, frowning as she eventually hazards at its reasoning.

“Duality.”

“Hm?” It was a hum less about it making sense and more for prodding her train of thought.

“Conflicting viewpoints – There’s two opposite sides facing away from each other, but eventually they work around each other until they meet in the middle.”

That definitely seemed clear enough to be true, but there was still a clue lacking enough to bring his thumb over the corner of his mouth in pondering. “So what does that mean for us?”

Her frown continues twofold as she continues working through it before bringing him along.

“The first room we went ‘against each other’ while the second room we ‘worked together’, so for this room...” She perks up when a dot connects. “We come together as equals, like Resonance!”

He hums his agreement to that conclusion. “You showed me something, I showed you something, so now we have to show each other something?”

“Yep!”

A smile twitches up at her triumph before it lowers again, thoughtful as his glance flicks around briefly. “...So what exactly do we have to show each other?”

That was actually a very good question, one that quieted her again while it became mutually obvious that unlike the previous two iterations there wasn’t nearly as much to do here (aside from sitting and staring straight at a wall, but Soul wasn’t too keen on that even if his legs started to want to convince him otherwise), and as she moved along reassessing either side her face eventually lit up with her hands clapped.

“Oh, I know – Here, you stand over by the green side!” He hesitates a moment until her persistence in the matter slowly shuffles him over to the other chair, Maka then standing proudly opposite and eager to give instruction.

“It’s like you said when we were dancing: you took the perspective of being a Meister, and now I’ll take the viewpoint of being a Weapon before we meet in the middle as partners!”

His brows furrow, staring up at the chandelier with unease over having to be anywhere beneath it, but he complies for lacking any other possible solutions. “So we both just kinda pretend to be each other’s roles?”

“Yeah – Maybe we can take steps forward when we feel like we get the hang of it so that we’re both ready at our own pace.” Soul nods as her face then slips into full concentration, a sigh quietly puffed out while he closes his eyes to focus too.

A Meister… Not too different from being a Weapon in that they were two halves working towards the same goal, but the way both went at it from separate angles as a default.

He had to eat souls, she did the legwork to fight for those souls, and now… he has to picture what it’d feel like if it were the other way around.

Soul’s spine straightens at the sound of her foot shuffling.

He doesn’t have perception or a special wavelength, but most people don’t. He also doesn’t move as quickly as she does, but that’s something that he could probably work on if he wanted… Besides, he works better thinking quickly and figuring things out on the fly, more of a backseat “observe and adapt” kinda guy than he prefers to admit.

Though that does make him wonder what would make him decide to pursue being a Meister to begin with……

Soul meanders forward a little when her steps continue.

Would it be for the same reason he left as a Weapon? Would he have even considered that as a possibility, taken his life in another direction even if it wasn’t sparked from an existing passion?

...Would he still be willing to defend her life even if he had nothing to do it with?

Soul peeks out at her steady approach toward the spiral’s center.

Of course he would, she’s his partner, he’d do everything he could to keep her safe even if it meant risking himself, Weapon or not. The scar embedded across his chest was a reminder of that, one that would remain for the rest of his life… But would he do it again?

Soul watches her progress.

Would he still take the hit for her if he was on the other end? Would he have even gone into that fight if he’d known the danger that they were in?

Would they have even been there to begin with if it’d been a different night?

Soul stares directly at the crystals hanging directly above her head.

Could he have done something to prevent it in the first place?

“That doesn’t look safe.”

Maka looks at him confused, but all he can see is the light dropping and shattering her. “The chandelier, it looks like it’s going to fall any minute.”

“Oh.” Threat swayed in his gut as she simply gazed upward, and especially when her returned smile defied all risk. “I think it looks sturdy enough – Here, you should see it with me. I can jump out of the way if it starts moving.”

He wanted to shout, rebel against the impending dread and get her away from the looming danger as quickly as possible, yet timidly he walked to take her hand, trust peering up at a newfound view unfolding above him.

The light reflected through all the individual crystals, bringing each one to life against the dark horizon, like stars shining through a midnight sky. In the middle of course was the moon, so radiant it formed a complete circle with its luminescent shards now its crowning petals.

It was… rather pretty, actually.

Her fingers felt warm in between his, her eyes illuminated brilliantly even if it was lit with a bit of I told you so, though genuinely he could sense it was more for getting to share the experience than anything.

He sighs out an awkward show of teeth, smile inevitably mirroring hers while a glint of curiosity eventually rekindled. “So, do you remember what you were wanting to ask me?”

A stammer drops his jaw and flusters it helplessly as his mind proceeds to replay through everything again.

Maybe in truth he always did have that question in the back of his head, but maybe it isn’t one he ever needed to ask. She was always there for him, ready to take his hand whenever the moment needed it, and him… Maybe he just worries too much.

Despite everything she really was strong. Maybe that’s what really made them partners.

“Oh, uh...” Soul loosens out a goofy little chuckle before lifting it away back to the ceiling, deciding it was probably better to just enjoy what good did manage to come from all this nothing nonsense.

“Ah, not really…...”

But the questions still remained.

.

His face finally emerges out of the red hot liquid, lungs gasping desperately as if the engulfing heat crushing his body was soaking right into his chest.

This… This isn’t……

Metallic sting blurs his vision, but even before he fights to free his eyes open he already sinks in the weight of the surrounding sea, a seemingly bottomless chasm of blood. The worst part is it wasn’t his. The best part is it’s everyone else’s.

His face contorts through several wild emotions until it collapses into laughter at how comforting it actually is.

He slips back into submersion while laughing and laughs at how great it would be if they all joined him.

.

.

Part 5 – Regret

Their fingers tense together when the light flickers yet again, fading into a fixture much more dim and plain. The dark ceiling mellows into a dull grey, which fell over the rest of the walls except for the rust spread along the floor slightly over them, the odd monotony only noticeably broken by the frequent smears and splotches of pitch black ink seemingly coated by someone’s haphazard wandering.

Soul didn’t like this room.

The two remain in hand even while this shift leaves both unsettled before an interrupting echo of bare footsteps break them apart, his arm naturally extended in front of her to prepare guarding her from their unexpected visitor.

It was Soul. It also wasn’t: He wore casually untidy clothes different from him, but the main thing that set them apart was his stare, hollow yet wide as if he didn’t have lids while a smile wore halfheartedly on his open lips.

It wasn’t necessarily with hostility but it was… off, in every way imaginable.

This was especially true as he then followed up with digging his fingertips into the edges of his teeth, running the dark ooze along the end of his tongue until it all fell to the side, Soul’s entire body recoiling into disgust while more ink dripped onto the unclean floor.

And then it spoke.

“Look who just showed up.”

His voice coming out of that face was low and raspy, his tone accusatory and straight to the point as he stood his ground. “Who the hell are you?”

It only laughed.

“Do you think you’re the main character or somethin’? That you can’t feel pain? That I couldn’t just beat the shit out of you and let you watch her die? Do you really think you’re fuckin’ invincible or some shit?”

The stammer caught in his throat was quickly interrupted by Maka shouting beside him. “What do you want with us?!”

“Could you actually kill him if you needed to? Would you watch him die if you had to?” They both shuffled back as it began approaching.

“Did you really believe your actions don’t have consequences?”

.

Soul watches as the pitch black rushes toward him.

Soul watches as his chest tears wide open.

Soul watches as molten flesh rains from his skin.

Soul watches as his body melts into the floor.

Soul hears a scream as he can no longer gasp out from his crushed lungs.

Soul’s back slams into something, air unable to pass in or out as his sneer continues toward him.

“Do you really want to die for her? Do you actually want to keep feeling that pain?” He locks up when a hand rams right next to his head, trapping laughter nearly broken into screaming. “You want to be ripped open again?! You want another scar matching the other way, or fuck it you can just tear all of it off and start all the fuck over again!! Maybe if you keep getting hurt enough you can finally get it through your thick fucking skull just how mu– ”

Force blurs by too fast for him to understand what it was, but eventually he registers it as Maka pinning him to the ground before her fist collides with his face, a confusing calm numbing into passive silence when she just… keeps going.

Every hit was struck with her full weight, repetition until black kept splattering out and yelling, wailing even, rang indecipherably through the stiff air, continuously reverberating against the cracking mush even when it’d long stopped moving. Eventually, her chest only heaved, quieted except for a choke he then identified as sobbing, shaking as she soon lifted herself and slowly turned with a whine leaking out from underneath the mess of ink and tears.

“I’m sorry...”

He remained motionless while her posture tightened and started curling into itself.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…...”

He should do something. Say something, walk to her, move her away from the body.

But he did nothing.

Felt nothing, didn’t know what to feel or do or say, just watched her face drip and sounds shaking her downward before a fit of chuckling snaps them both back.

The body began lifting up, head pulleying from some invisible string while darkness spilled out where his face had been onto its clothes, painting all of it black as his voice hollered out undeterred.

“Damn girl, you really just shot past Wrath and dropped straight into Violence!”

Boisterous cackling spasms from the spew of ebony as it then erupts into dozens of pale wings, all writhing and coveting the front of its head while its back burst and sprayed out into four greater wings, two black, two red. Eyes of dark rings and crimson split open upon their feathers, staring and dripping more ink onto the pool now consuming the flooring.

Fear, dread coiled around his chest, steps quickly unsteady when the wall scoops him up and slams a cage door over him, silver bars to match the golden cage now also surrounding her.

“Maka!”

There was no time for even a response, the body hopping up on top of his imprisonment for its weight to swiftly plunge him into the abyss with a howl.

“Going dooooown!!”

He barely catches the chain lifting her up as fast as he descended, his stomach churning with nothing to grab onto while he plummeted, faster and faster through the darkness, until suddenly the stop jars him, leaving his side crashed into the now swaying cage.

It didn’t take him long to realize he was currently being suspended right over a sea of red, the heat and stench no doubt being blood, pooled in a horizonless dark chasm that made him recoil before his voice resumes its tune.

“So, did you really want to die for her?”

His head whips up to his body still crouching over him, rage now finally reaching its boiling point. “Is there really something so wrong with wanting to protect her?!”

“No, you still don’t get it. Let me spell it out for you then:”

.

.

Part 6 – Isolation

“You’re all alone now.”

Fingers grip over the bars as it crawls halfway down, looming over him upside-down with innumerable white feathers squirming through the gaps.

“You swore to dying for her. Kept carrying all the weight of the pain so she wouldn’t feel hurt.” Its large wings outstretch, eyes crying crimson that dripped meaninglessly into the rest of it. “This is your consequence.”

His laugh then echoed against the metal as it climbed back up to the cage’s chain.

“I’m going to leave you now and let you wallow in it, all to yourself just like you wanted.”

The cage sways a little more while its hands and feet pull it along the chain’s length, Soul’s palms slamming into the sides while shooting upright. “He- Hey!”

It continued making its way up until eventually it faded into the obscurity of the shadow above,  the silence soon deafening even when his back landed into the bars again, sliding and curling his chest against his knees with his arms limping around them. Despite the heat steaming from below, he only felt cold, empty, and… alone.

A sniffle trembles his shoulders, breath unsteady while his arms coil in tighter to hold it in place. His eyes wander through the abyss and are offered nothing in return, nothing left for him but the memories and his words.

Upon reflecting, the blood directly in front of his view begins to bubble, raising into a mirror image who’s head just barely left the surface.

His wild hair floated and dragged onto his pale face, draping around his dark round eyes in a way that gave more resemblance to a fish, especially when the surrounding pool streamed out of its mouth, freeing out a soft murmuring hoarseness.

“Hey, you seem lost.”

Soul’s lungs stuttered before finally cracking his voice out. “Yeah…...”

“Yeah, me too.”

He blinks at him for awhile before chiming in again.

“What’re you thinkin’ about?”

Soul swallows the pressure still sitting in his throat, a sigh tumbling out while meekly looking away. “I dunno, I guess… I just wanted to keep Maka safe because that’s what I’m supposed to do, but now it’s like I wasn’t supposed to, or I’m doing it wrong or something……...”

“You care about her a lot though, right?”

Soul nods. “...Yeah, but… I think I hurt her…...” One long breath shudders out from his sniff. “...Not, not physically but, I think I hurt her from… not talking about it…… Like how much it still hurts even though I ignore it and just keep saying I’ll keep getting hurt for her………...”

“Not all acts of good are wise, and not all acts of evil are foolish, but still we should strive to be the best that we can be.”

Soul peers up at his light smile.

“I don’t think it was really your fault. You just did what you thought was best and sometimes there’s no real clear answer, especially when it’s something you’ve never really dealt with before.”

He watches him for another moment, smile continuing.

“It’s never too late, by the way. You can ask her about it yourself if you still want to.”

Soul slowly perks up, even if unsteady. “...How? I’m still locked down here...”

“You care a lot about Maka’s pain, but are you willing to try caring for your pain too?”

Soul pauses, until eventually, he nods again.

“Then let me help open the door for you. You just have to get up top and start climbing.”

Out of the blood then emerges arms upon arms of pale hands, countless fingers reaching and grabbing the cage steady before a few stray limbs pull the side bars away.

Soul swallows, cautious, but soon lifting himself up and crouching through the doorway to hang against the other side, feet balancing onto a couple palms that carefully bring him level enough to the roof for him to now stand on top of it. His grip clings tightly to the chain’s links, tense as he looks back at his unmoving reflection one last time.

“Just keep climbing and don’t let go!”

And with a deep breath, he begins his ascent, steadily working his way up, one step at a time.

.

.

Part 7 – Perseverance

His hands interchanged their grip around the chain as he persisted his journey upward, his feet dutifully following each motion while passing onto each stair step. It was a long hall, dull in a truly neutral grey, inclined so extensively that the horizon remained consistently vague.

The weight of the climb already dragged on him. Exhaustion ached his body, weakened his stride under the uncertainty of any visible end. Made his arms plead this was good enough, his legs beg that it wasn’t worth it, but he knew that she would have tried to her fullest and that she’d want him to succeed too, so he carried on.

Beside his climbing this hall appeared just spacious enough to be able to host another person next to him, bringing along its reminder that he was traveling solo. A twinge of burning sparked from it, twisting over how he was left enduring this, but he smothered it in knowing she would gladly extend her hand for him if she was here and settled into gratitude, simply hoping she is safe.

Yet that spark reinvigorated itself much more furiously, a loathing now falling directly upon himself. Maybe this fate truly was deserved, a punishment for his consequences being truly just deserts. Though it soon tempers when memories wash back in, both of her lament despite best intentions and the newfound promise he’d sworn, mellowing him into holding for the chance to make things right again.

...But does it even matter? Would anything actually change in the end, if there even is an end to this? Scars heal on their own, don’t they? What difference does it make between just getting over it and throwing the pain at someone else…… But… The pain wasn’t just physical. He was terrified, still scared it could happen again, happen to her, and the darkness that came with it never left his head. That stuff doesn’t just go away, even if you bury it. And seeing how she still reached for him and wanted to be at his side despite the hurt inflicted on her, maybe she… Maybe it’ll be okay, if she helps him unearth it, even just at his own pace.

His footsteps lightened and fueled his hastening, determination empowering as a feeling then squirmed in his chest. It murmurs to him that they’d been happier when he kept the question to himself, yet he reminded it of how she was the one who asked him again first. When it pointed toward his controlling worry, stubbornly fighting her meeting in the middle, he counters that even with their different views she still believed in him trusting her, and the weight of his body lifted at the experiences they can still share together.

The feeling began gnawing on him, told him that he was just using her for his own gain. Yet he stood his ground, firm in their efforts being mutual while assured that neither of them will leave each other behind, and his legs raised him higher than ever at the goals they can still both work for.

And finally it seethed, demanded that she’s already rejected his selfishness. And he contented, knowing that she’ll be waiting for him the same way he would for her. Because they’re partners, and that’s what partners do, so his arms kept reaching with greater fervor at the connection they can still call theirs.

Calm eased through him, the feeling quieted as it simply asked what it was he truly wanted.

He just wanted to be with her again.

Suddenly the hallway begins to shimmer, that monotony reflecting brilliantly, almost blinding, as pure light engulfed everything surrounding him. Hope hurried his ascent, hands outstretched until they latch onto a much sturdier link, turning that light red as he pushes past it and through the heavy curtains where his eyes soon adjusted to a familiar shade of reds and shadows.

The Black Room.

To his relief, the first thing he notices is Maka – black dress swishing around her as she shot up from the lone chair sitting aways from the curtain.

“Soul!”

Waves of emotion float a smile on up until it quickly sinks when he also registers the noise, head turning beyond the fabric to watch another version of himself – a black suit with a face obscured by long bangs, swaying as it played that dark piano in a tune he immediately recognized. Soul looks back at her pouting.

“He’s been playing Für Elise nonstop for several times in a row now.”

The way she huffed that sentence out made him want to laugh, instead only blinking while deciding to ask the more important question in any case. “Are you doing okay though?”

“Aside from having this song engrained into my soul, yeah.”

He snickers at her wryness before it softens up considerably.

“What about you – Are you okay?”

His breath tenses up, gut reaction stuttering it until it jolts when a harsh stray note drops the room into stiff silence, that other self now looming his direction like a weeping willow with roots of midnight judgement. Soul swallows, then shutting the door behind him as he finally takes a step forward, voice meek.

“...No.”

Maka stills, tone unchanged but remaining gentle. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really...” He’s quick to follow up his mutter with a sharp sigh. “...but I need to ask you.”

She moves forward a few paces slowly, patiently awaiting as he spends a moment composing himself, and eventually he forces the words out.

“Do you…...” One breath at a time.

“Do you hate me?”

Her brows furrow, confused. “Hate you?”

“Are you mad at me. For getting hurt… and… not talking about it…… acting like it never happened, and just… saying I’ll keep getting hurt, even though……...” His chest shudders, constricted. “...it still hurts…...”

She takes a deep steady inhale, thinking, his eyes vulnerable while she answers calmly.

“No, I’m not mad. I’m frustrated, but I’m frustrated about a lot of things; I’m frustrated that you got hurt, and I’m frustrated because I feel like I could have done better, but I’m not mad at you. It’s not your fault.”

The constriction winds up his throat and her sigh lifts, not quite into a smile, just something positive.

“I genuinely appreciate that you’re still here, and that you’re being open with me. It means a lot and...” Her body audibly tenses. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that you’re hurting.”

Maka watches his breath sway uneven, teetering until he timidly walks toward her. He can’t say for certain when those old Black Room clothes slipped onto him but that was never surprising, fingers gripping along the seams of his slacks like a child shaming away from its parent’s imminent disappointment as he closed their distance, Soul now standing only a few feet away.

His stance wobbles, aches at her heavy exhale, and finally the weight truly collapses him, slumping onto her shoulder as the air all chokes out.

“I’m so scared. I’m so afraid of you getting hurt and I can’t do anything about it. I’m fucking terrified I’m going to lose control and one day you’re going to end up dead because of me.” Heat sputters from his chest even under the warmth of their arms embracing closer. “I hate that I’m not as strong as you are. I hate that I keep making you feel like shit because I can’t deal with being weak. I hate this stupid fucking curse and having a demon in my head all the time that keeps telling me it’s my fault you’re going to get hurt next.”

Moisture leaks down from his face but he doesn’t care, just holds onto her more, never wants to let go while sobs continue pouring out.

“It hurts so much. My scar never stops aching and I try to forget about it and hope it just goes away. I keep having nightmares over and over again about when it happened and it happening to you and me hurting you, and it… it fucking sucks. I wish it would stop but I don’t tell you about it because I know you blame yourself, I know you think you’re the reason I got hurt, but you’re not. You didn’t do this to me, life just fucked us over and...”

His voice was loud, ugly, and a mess, but it was his. It was both of theirs.

“...It’s not fair. It’s not fair Maka.”

All he could do was cry, both of them. Just finally let out all the pain he’d been carrying for far too long now, let go of the burden he tried to keep shouldered on his own, and let her help lift the weight that had sunken his chest away from hers.

In that moment their grief was deeply shared, and his shadow, now moving back to whence it came, finally brought that fallboard to its close.

.

.

Part 8 – Resolve

Soul scoots the piano bench out a little before taking a seat away from the instrument behind him.

It was a wonder they even managed to clean the mess from their faces, but he was feeling tons better now, and judging by how she comfortably sat next to him it seemed she felt the same way. He wasn’t sure where that other version of him went, hadn’t seen when it’d even left, but that too was a welcome change as they simply got to have the room to themselves for the time being. And with a nice, calm breath of relief, quietly his voice lifts up to her again with a timid glance.

“Thank you, for um… listening to me.”

Maka welcomes it with her own lighthearted smile. “Hey, you know I’m here for you when you need it – I really am glad you came to talk to me about it.” She then laughs aside a little. “I think we definitely both needed this, anyway.”

He follows, albeit weakly. “Yeah, sorry, I just…… It’s not easy, um… talking about this kinda stuff...” And smirks awkwardly. “Sorry for being kind’ve a jackass about it.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I get it. It’s been hard to deal with, but you know… I’m proud of you, for reaching out. I know it takes a lot of strength to do that.”

Their eyes remain locked, stammer caught in his throat all over again until he gives it up, gaze averted down to his fingers aimlessly fidgeting with themselves even when his voice eventually squirms its way out, quiet but genuine. “Thank you.”

The two then simply wallow in each other’s company, thoughts just drifting through his hands before deciding it’d be okay to keep freeing them up.

“So, um… How did you end up here?” He gestures vaguely around the room to clarify. “Like nothing bad happened before I got here?”

“Oh, no I just...” She thinks briefly, answer facing the chair she’d first been waiting in.

“He said I was free to go, but I didn’t want to leave you here so I just waited for you to come back since I knew you would.”

A laugh returns over to him, shining through all uncertainties. “Pretty sure he was trying to get me to leave though.”

Soul chuckles lightly, soaking in both the warmth of her mirth and lighting curiosity, then willingly indulging it to lean more into its comfort.

“Yeah, it was pretty weird down there, but uh… Basically I promised I’d try to care about myself more, and I climbed up for awhile to get here. It definitely kinda sucked but um...”

He looks up to her with full sincerity.

“...It was a question I needed to ask you.”

And Maka extends her full appreciation in return.

“That’s good, I’m glad you made it out.”

Though his face does become a bit restless when a gentle humour makes her start to shy away. “...I do feel a little embarrassed though now that I know what the question was actually about.”

He scrunches. “...What did you think it was about?”

More laughter shoots out while she flutters about nervously.

“Well y’know… You suddenly pulling me aside into an empty room after you looked like you really wanted something all day, and I just… I don’t know.” The emphasis of her hands flopping down mesmerizes him, leaving the gears in his head slowly turning until they begin speeding up and contorting his expression through several unexplainable emotions before she cuts it off, huffing.

“Look: Just because I can see your soul doesn’t mean I know what you’re actually thinking half the time.” Huff then muttering into a pout. “Boys are weird, okay?”

This finally breaks him, uproarious cackling shaking haphazardly before he whips back enthusiastically. “Girls are also weird!”

“They’re all weird: People are weird.”

The deadpan quickly descends him further and drags her along with him, taking him a solid good minute to catch his breath for when he eventually meets her again, voice softened despite his sharp grin.

“You really are my best friend, though.”

He soon hesitates, fingers back to fidgeting with the seam. “...No offense to everyone else, obviously, you’re just um… You’re the coolest person I know and I genuinely appreciate you being there for me.” And he then faces her in complete earnest. “I want to care about both of us.”

So she truly meets him in the middle. “We both can.”

Their shared admiration beams while he extends his hand, her gladly taking it even before he asks.

“Partners?”

“Partners.”

Newly kindled hope and determination sparks up from within the bond of their resolve, igniting Soul’s sharkiest grin and Maka’s telltale smirk, which soon slips into something unexpectedly casual. “Hey do you wanna go get ice cream?”

He snorts. “Yeah, y’know what I’ve had enough of this room – We can keep moving forward together but who says we can’t also live life how we want too you know?”

“Live life and fuck Medusa.”

The two begin to stand up as he nods in full agreement. “Fuck Medusa.”

And as he shambles up onto his own two feet, hand firmly in hand, they both walk together side by side across those old checker tiles and eagerly chatter all through the exit, finally finding peace in closing that door shut.

.

Gently he picked the teacup up, letting the aroma drift in before taking a nice sip proper.

Ah, what a pleasant blend.

Quite well done if he says so himself, pairs excellently with the early morning view upon this balcony. A crisp delicate flavour to match a cool yet refreshing sunrise, to which the sun itself greets the day already hard at work.

Yes, this shall be a good day indeed.

He takes another fine sip, most certainly pleased with himself on its taste. Two creams, two sugars.

A good blend always needs a good balance in sweetness, though it was no lie he tended to be a bit more indulgent than most. Perhaps he’ll dare to make a visit today, but who would he be fooling to say he doesn’t make this consideration every day…

He sets the teacup onto its platter, soft clatter then reaching the table he seats at before his eloquent voice finally comes to life.

“I bet you’re wondering where the probable ruse lies, if perhaps it were all a dream or such events holds no bearing beyond the imagination.”

He lifts his cane resting faithfully by his side to give it a graceful twirl, suddenly halting to face its head up for a grand emphasis.

“Fool! The story was but in twain; It happened long ago, you see.”

The end is then swiftly brought upon the floor, like a gavel signifying its supreme judgement.

“Well done, the two you so followed did not meet lips. I’m sure such a challenge was quite trialing, but the reward of your efforts must be well worthwhile. Perhaps you’ve gained greater wisdom for further endeavors, even.”

With a flick of his wrist his magnificent hat tips, parting with a gentleman’s last word.

“And so it would appear our time together now comes to a close, but fret not – We may meet again if you so wish. Always more stories to tell, more secrets to unveil… Some possibly even already upon the horizon, hm.

Until then: fare thee well!”

[tobi-smp]

I see people are still doing this, so I’m gonna say it again:

it’s way more uncomfortable that we’ve normalized flooding someone’s notes, sending anons, or showing up in someone’s dms to tell someone that they have to remove a character tag from a post or they’re being Rude than it is for someone to tag meta for relevant characters.

character tags and searches are public, and they’re Intended To Be That Way. the point is for people to find content about that tag no matter what that content Is. it is not meant to cater to You Specifically, and that means you’ll inevitably see posts that you don’t like in a tag.

there’s exceptions to this, of course. generally speaking nsfw content or genuinely offensive content doesn’t belong in public tags, specifically because they Are public. but that doesn’t extend to content that you personally do not like.

it’s your Dashboard that’s intended to be tailored your interests. you filter out what does and does not get posted there through following people who post and reblog content that you like and unfollowing people who post and reblog content that you don’t.

tags are public parks. there’s behavior that would be unacceptable in those spaces because it’s inappropriate to expose other park goers to, but you can’t tell someone to leave just because you don’t like them. it’s a public park and they’re as entitled to that space as you are.

your dashboard is a club meeting room. you invite people in and you kick them back out. you’re Allowed to filter that space, but it’d still be inappropriate for you to tell someone that they have to change something fundamental but harmless about themselves, as opposed to simply removing them from said space. you have be proactive.

[sky-squido]

“wow squido did i see in your original tags that the sky in the background of this image is actually entirely accurate to what it would look like during sunset in twilight princess wow that’s so cool can you please explain to me in detail how you figured that out because i love listening to you ramble about celestial navigation? also look at this super awesome image you ended up with when you accidentally opened your navigational star chart on the wrong layer!”

woah, that’s so cool! and why YES, person who is definitely not me, i would be delighted to do so! first i went insane for several months calculating exactly where and when every 3D zelda game takes place using the motion of the sun!

Cool! So it’s the autumnal equinox at a latitude of 35°N and longitude secretly doesn’t actually matter. Because of reasons, if we know where we are and when we are, we can figure out exactly what they sky should be doing! Right now we just need to figure out exactly when it is, because stars are speedily little guys!

I wanted this picture to take place at sunset, so first we had to figure out when sunset would be at this latitude on the equinox. Time to crack open your Nautical Almanac! Remember, we’re at 35°N.

Cool, sunset’s at 18:00 (6:00pm for everyone who does time wrong), which makes sense, because equinox. Anyway, now that we know what time it is, we can figure out where in the sky Aries is. What’s Aries? Great question—the stars move a lot and it would be really really exhausting and inefficient to write exactly down where they all are every hour of every day like they do for the sun, moon, and planets. To save space, the astronomy people were like “hey! the stars all move together, cuz like constellations are fixed shapes that don’t visibly wobble ever. What if we just picked one point in the sky and put a pin in it and then just kept track of where that specific spot was at every hour of every day. Then we could just have a separate table for how far away every star is from that point, but that second table won’t really change basically so it’d be super efficient cuz we’re only keeping track of one point in the sky instead of all fifty-nine-ish navigational stars.” and then they did.

so here’s a table for what the greenwich hour angle of Aries is at (almost) every hour of this particular day! 268°23.0′ looks like the magic number, folks! (it’s actually ~270°, because the equinox was on thursday, but the table for thursday didn’t have a header and i wanted you guys to see the header so pretend this screenshot is the right date okay)

what’s a greenwich hour angle, why is it relevant, and how is it different from the local hour angle you’re about to talk about, you may ask? it doesn’t actually matter right now because longitude is fake—just pretend GHA and LHA are the same thing for this particular bout of shenanigans.

so now that we know where in the sky Aries is at this particular moment in time, let’s crack open Volume 1 of the Aeronautical Navigation Sight Reduction Tables and scroll down to the entry for 35°N!

great! all we have to do now is go to the appropriate row for our LHA (270°) and scoot along. look at all those stars! look at where they are! wow!

basically under every star name, there’s a number written out like 27°17′, which is the star’s altitude, or how high above the horizon it is. the next number, 166 for example, is the compass heading you’d have to face to see the star. they’re like sky coordinates! since the sun’s setting exactly due west, because it’s the equinox, let’s look at all the stars just south of west, since they’ll be the ones in view. west is 270 and south is 180, so Nunki, Antares, and Arcturus look like they’re what we want! let’s check the navigational star chart in the back of the Nautical Almanac!

ooh, prebby! and there are Antares, Arcturus, and Nunki! We can also see Altair, who according to the table above is pretty high in the sky, so that’s gonna help orient us. i then opened my art program and sketched out approximately where Nunki, Antares, and Arcturus should appear to be, given the field of view and the coordinates from the table. then i just overlayed the star chart and lined up all the important ones—briefly sticking my star chart on the wrong layer, giving us the beautiful clickbait image pictured very far above. but yeah, from there it was just a matter of tracing all the other dots!

anyway thanks for reading and have a beautiful day! God bless and ily!

Life’s too short to worry about things we got wrong. So hug all your friends, and let them know you’re not letting go of them.

[sharkface-daydreams]

I was recently reminded of Fic Rec lists and got the urge to make one, and since it’s Tucktober and Dr. Love could use a little love, I thought I’d try to put together a fic rec list of Tucker-centric fics. (Might do some for the upcoming character months if I’m feeling up to it :D)

This list is going to be a bit of a mix of things I have bookmarked, friend recs and trawling AO3 looking for older works that don’t get much love today. If you don’t see something you think should be on here, please reblog and add it! I did my best but am only one person and my energy is limited. :)

Here’s the listing format for your convenience:

Title (link) | Author | Rating (as per AO3) Ship/Characters | Warnings/relevant tags/info (AU, graphic violence, smut) Completed Y/N | Word Count Summary

Heavy Weather | Shir_Khan | Rating: E Church/Tucker | Modern AU, Natural Disasters Complete | Word Count: 28,841 Summary: Given that Church and Tucker only interact once a year when storm season rolls around, they’re really closer to acquaintances than actual friends. But if Church is going to spend days at a time cooped up with another person, he prefers it to be someone he won’t end up strangling, and that’s slim pickings.

An Ace Or Two In Space | LilRadRidingHood | Rating: T Tucker/Wash | Temple of Procreation fic with a twist One-shot | Word Count: 980 Summary: The Temple of Procreation didn't work on either of them, but it ends up bringing them together anyway.

giving up the ghost | eggstacy | Rating: T Tucker, Some Tucker/Wash | Major Character Death, AI Hallucinations/Unreality One-shot | Word Count: 2,879 Summary: Tucker got a lot of judgment through his life and that didn't change when he joined the military. Getting transferred into this fake-ass simulation war might've been a demotion on paper, but meeting the first person to call him out without thinking less of him for it made all of the humiliation worth it.

Bitter Pill | Goodluckdetective, Hinn_Raven, RenaRoo | Rating: M Tucker/Wash | Graphic Violence, Time Travel AU, Bad Future Complete | Word Count: 38,735 Summary: During the war, Tucker goes missing. Ten years later, he shows back up again. Chorus is on its last leg. His friends are either dead, captured or scattered. And Tucker is still Tucker.

Machine Learning | Cosmobot | Rating: T Tucker, Church | Emotional Hurt/Comfort One-shot | Word Count: 4,597 Summary: Tucker has some things he needs to say. Church has some things he needs to hear. Neither of them particularly want to talk about it, but they do anyway. Sort of. There's maybe more yelling involved than there should be.

Gone | RysingSun | Rating: M Tucker | Graphic Violence, Child Neglect One-shot | Word Count: 7,278 Summary: Needing to access a MacGuffin, Tucker is sent through some of his most difficult memories. No matter how scared and alone he feels, his friends are there for him when he comes out the other side.

Too Quiet | InfernoTornado | Rating: T Tucker, Carolina | Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Drinking One-shot | Word Count: 5,030 Summary: Tucker wants to finally have that drink he talked about having with church... but Church is gone, and he doesn't want to do this alone

Green Team - And Cunningham Fell | ShyChangling | Rating: M Tucker, Green Team | Canon Death, Canon-Typical Violence One-shot | Word Count: 1021 Summary: Tucker never wanted this. Tucker never wanted to be the damn leader of any one. Least of all... when it comes to this.

Enough, Enough | Eggstacy, saltsanford | Rating: M Tucker, Blue Team | Graphic Violence, Torture Complete | Word Count: 46,403 Summary: The mission is a disaster, of fucking course, because they hadn’t had enough of those in recent years.

[olderthannetfic]

Here’s my portion of the GGC fandom stats panel. This is what my charts from a few weeks ago were for.

I’ve gotten increasingly weary of fujoshi-haters moaning about AO3 as though it’s The Establishment and needs to be rebelled against. The preponderance of m/m on AO3 is impressive, but it’s also unusual. Sometimes, people try to pit m/m and f/f against each other, but I don’t think actual site stats bear out that kind of approach.

The reality is that AO3, like parts of tumblr, is a rare island of amorphous queerness, floating in a vast ocean of het-as-default spaces. If I never again see a hand-wringing thinkpiece about what AO3′s m/m percentage meeeeeans and how it must indicate that No One likes female characters, it will be too soon.

Put simply, AO3 is full of m/m and has a high proportion of fics with multiple ship types as well as a higher proportion of f/f than many spaces (though still not a high percentage).

FFN and Wattpad are both popular, both active, and both full of het and gen. They also both have more fanworks, arguably, though Wattpad works tend to be very short, and FFN’s rate of new works is falling behind AO3′s. Some people who prefer AO3 themselves will take this to mean that only AO3 is relevant, but that’s like standing in the gay bookstore going, “Gosh, it sure is sad that there aren’t any STRAIGHT bookstores! Think of the hets!”

Any fool you see doing this is helping the people who hate queer content to shit on that queer content. Anyone who repeats the myth that most fanfic is m/m is furthering an anti-queer narrative whether they mean to or not. (Yes, even those of you complaining about “straight girls” and “fetishization”.) I’m tired of these bad takes being given a pass.

AO3′s metadata is designed to put queer content on the same level of importance as straight content. It also makes it easy to get shipping stats. Other sites don’t give a fuck about queer content and make it hard to get shipping stats. This has led to very skewed understandings of what fic fandom as a whole looks like--skewed understandings that help bullies go after m/m content with the pretense that they’re striking back against The Man.

It’s time those of us who like fandom stats took responsibility for lopsided, AO3-centric narratives and the social damage they can do.

Here is what fandom looks like actually:

Notes on the chart data below the cut:

These are stats showing, to the best of my ability, what is extant on these sites in 2020. (So it’s fic posted throughout the archives’ histories, not fic posted in 2020.)

The AO3 numbers were compiled by going to the ship type tags and pulling the actual numbers. The Wattpad and FFN numbers are from randomly sampling those archives, then hand-classifying the sample. A quick check of the posting dates and fandoms represented suggests the samples are pretty representative, but it would be good to see other people repeat this exercise for comparison data.

There is some inevitable gray area between het and gen, and the vast, vast majority of these works were not clearly marked for het even in cases where they have graphic het sex scenes. The m/m and f/f fics were typically marked more clearly. In cases where headers mentioned a ship name or words like ‘slash’, ‘yaoi’, ‘bl’, ‘yuri’, etc., I used that as the classification. In ambiguous cases, I skimmed the fic and did text searches for ‘kiss’, ‘fuck’, etc. to see if I could find shippy content.

The “Multi & Other” category includes anything with more than one ship type (e.g. separate M/M and F/M ships in the same fic) as well as m/m/f, masturbation fics, tentacle monsters, etc. I did this because the numbers are so low on Wattpad and FFN that pulling out a separate slice for m/m+f/m or m/m+f/f would unnecessarily complicate the graph. It also helps weed out background ships on AO3. The m/m, f/m, f/f, and gen slices are works that are only tagged with that on AO3, and the whole pie chart adds up to 100%, like the other two do.

[fandom-monium]

i finished for the holidays and i just *chefs kiss* beautiful talented amazing sajkgdkj no words i love that romance wasnt even the main point 🥺💘 anyway i love how you write reader and i wondered between her and spencer who gets jealous???

Unrivaled

Summary: In which you seem pretty close with the new intern, and Spencer is not happy about it. (ft. one of my fave white bois) “Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

WC: 3.6k

Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, Jealous!Spencer bc id like to see that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, the lightest implication of smut ever, points to yall who can guess who the intern is before reading the end or the tags 😉

—

Spencer is not jealous. He’s not.

Why would he be? 

He has no reason to be jealous, Spencer chants to himself as he sits at his desk. Even from across the bullpen he still manages to hear your voice, and while normally it’s music to his ears, even better than Mozart, now it just feels like nails against a chalkboard. Grating his eardrums, making him wince.

Because you’re laughing. Not with Spencer though. Not at his obscure references or lame jokes.

With the new intern.

Why did Emily have to put you in charge of him? She could’ve chosen anyone on the team to have him shadow, but it had to be you! Not that you’re incapable or unqualified; you’re experienced, talented, and the best person he knows. 

… Okay, he can see why she picked you.

Why do they even have interns? Unnecessary, really, when the BAU has you and him and he guesses the other teams too (it’s weird, he’s never actually interacted with them but whatever). Maybe it’s time to start making budget cuts. He’ll discuss this with Emily when he gets the chance. He’s got some influence, working at the BAU as long as he has.

But he’s not jealous. 

Logically, jealousy (like an intern) is unnecessary. The green-eyed monster (like an intern) is ugly and contributes nothing productive, and if Spencer’s being honest, the world (like an intern) would be much better off without it.

At least that’s what he keeps telling himself as he downs his coffee like a shot of whiskey, trying to quell the squirming beast in him. Despite 90% of it being sugar, it still tastes bitter. He sets his mug down with a thud, and it’s loud enough to make Luke, Garcia, and JJ turn their heads, exchanging concerned glances when he slumps back in his chair.

Spencer doesn’t care. The world’s ending; you’re apparently into younger guys, with neat dark hair and forearms that can probably snap someone’s neck, and he can’t do anything about it. What does it matter if his best friends catch him in a sour mood, right?

“Hey, Spence,” JJ's tone is soft as they slink over, Garcia and Luke leaning against the edge of his desk and JJ flanking the other side. “You alright?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer gazes past them, his eyes never leaving you. He deflates; your stance is relaxed, completely open as you nod at whatever Intern is saying, his hands gesturing spastically. It must be interesting, the way you listen with rapt attention and respond just as enthusiastic.

Spencer scoffs. Not like that’s anything special. You do the same for him. And the rest of the team.

...What the hell are you guys talking about? 

“Well, you look like you’re about to throw your mug across the room. Or at an intern.”

Spencer blinks, finally breaking away from you long enough to eye the ceramic octopus. “That’s a good idea actually.”

“Don’t,” Garcia and JJ both shoot him a warning and he huffs, resting his chin in his hand. Garcia looks horrified, betrayed even while JJ has that expression on, the one she gives when she scolds Henry and Michael.

Whatever. It’s not like he’d ever sacrifice Mildred. Garcia entrusted her to him, after all. 

Unless...?

No, he couldn’t… Maybe.

“You know, Reid, if you’re jealous—”

Spencer snaps his head to Garcia, eyes wide and darting to you like you have super-hearing, “Jealous? Who’s jealous? Not me.” He cringes, his voice octaves higher and cracking like a prepubescent boy.

Garcia snorts, “Okay, sure. But if you are jealous, I was going to say you have no reason to be. You wanna know why?” Spencer raises an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Sure the guy’s smart enough to get a full-ride scholarship at GWU, and he’s top of his class at the academy—”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

"And he’s one of the most good looking guys I've ever met—”

"How is that relevant—"

Luke frowns at her. "And have you met me?"

“My point is,” Garcia’s red lipstick curls into the most reassuring smile, “that you have nothing to worry about because (Your Name) loves you. A lot.” 

Spencer perks up. “You really think so?”

“I know so. I see the way they look at you, and if that’s not love I don’t know what is," She shrugs, "And just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they’re into him.”

There's a collective nod of agreement and Spencer sags in relief. Of course they're right. He knows they are. 

If you think about it, technically, he's got the advantage. You've known each other longer, bonded and shared experiences together good and bad, and you’re emotionally and even physically intimate with each other (something he's especially proud of, considering how long it takes you both to warm up to others).

And who knows? This is probably temporary! Whatever this is, the connection you seem to instantly make with Intern (faster than when you two had met, he realizes with a needle to his heart) is short-term at best. It'll peter out eventually, like most friendships do.

It’s sad, but a cruel fact of life.

(Is this selfish, wishful thinking? Nah.)

They’re right, there is no need to worry, Spencer thinks as a weight lifts off his chest, finally able to breathe. You love him and he loves you and eventually, everything will go back to normal. 

There’s nothing to worry about.

—

The world’s ending.

“It’s really not.”

Yes, it is.

“Doc, come on.”

“Do not ‘Doc’ me,” Spencer grumbles, lifting his head from the comfort of his arms. He grimaces at Luke. “You didn’t see the way they looked at him. The way they talk about him.”

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since you’ve taken Intern under your wing, and he’s had enough. If Hell is real, this is it. For days, he’s tried to resume some form of normalcy, and he was never one to be bold but desperate times call for desperate measures as he asks you out for lunch or invites you out on dates, even stuff he wouldn’t normally do because they’re more your thing. Something, anything to get you away from Intern. But...

At work: “Hey Spence, I'm teaching Intern (menial task that a 4 year old could do). Would you like to help—”

During break: “I’m taking Intern out for lunch. He’s still new to town, and I thought he could use a tour—”

In bed: “Did you know Intern’s a huge fan of Star Wars—”

Snap, and there went his patience.

Intern this, Intern that. 

Spencer could tolerate this at work. At least he’s saving lives, being productive, getting paid. But under his roof? In his bed? 

That was the last straw.

Spencer's not one to wish ill on another, he's not like that. But if something happened to the guy, say, get injured in the field, perhaps from a "stray" bullet, he'd be intern-ally grateful. Heh. 

"Hey, you good?"

Spencer sighs, swiping a hand over his face and turning back to Luke. "Yeah, why?"

Luke waves a hand at his face, eyebrow raised, "For a second there, you kind of had a scary look on your face."

"Did I? Weird."

"Right," Clearly unconvinced, Luke brushes it off, deciding to get to the root of the matter. "As I was saying, I still think you have nothing to worry about. Although, I do think it's a little weird that (Your Name) is talking about Intern as much as you say they are." He offers Spencer a little smile, his hand falling heavy on his shoulder. It's the most comforting touch he's had in two weeks. "I'm not one to talk, but I suggest you speak to them. I'd also be uncomfortable if my partner were talking up someone else."

Spencer blinks, squints at Luke, before gripping his hand and standing up. "Have I ever told you how much I value your friendship?"

"You can stand to mention it more often," Luke shrugs, eyes crinkling with amusement as Spencer lets go and heads for the door. 

"Noted."

—

Spencer nearly goes feral when he finds you.

Of course you're with him.

He searched the floor like a bloodhound, discovering you've been on your feet almost the entire day, running around the office, up and down the elevators, finishing your work and helping around. You must be exhausted. It's because of this he tracks you to your favorite break room, mostly quiet save for the buzzing drip of the old coffeemaker. He knows you need to be alone sometimes, recharge those social batteries.

So when he bursts into the room like he would hunting an unsub, eyes quickly scanning the immediate space, he expects nothing less but you. What he did not anticipate was to find you, just as soft and pretty as ever under the fluorescent lighting, leaning against the counter and sipping daintily at your favorite mug. 

With Intern standing a little too close to his liking.

“Hey, Spencer,” You chirp as you lower your coffee mug, lips glossy from your drink. Spencer's quick to shake his stupor―he can’t afford to be distracted, but it’s difficult when you’re beaming at him, clearly excited. You nod at the home-wrecker, “Me and Intern here were just talking about demonology and he’s got this interesting theory on werewolves―" Lycanthropy? Are you fucking kidding him right now? 

Just when he thought he couldn't hate the guy any more.

"CanItalktoyou?" It comes out rushed as Spencer gasps between breaths, leaving no room to second guess himself.

"Sure," You blink at his urgent tone.

For a second, you watch him expectantly, and Spencer's gaze darts between you and Intern. "Alone?"

"Oh! Okay. Be gone," You wave Intern off, and when you place a hand on his shoulder, Spencer sees red. Or green in this case.

Intern doesn't resist, but the noise Spencer releases is animalistic because the guy can’t seem to read the room, questioning you as you gently shove him towards the door. "What about the thing―"

"We'll talk about that later."

"But you still need to show me how to―"

"Don't worry, Intern. Just wait for me, I'll show you once the adults are done talking."

"You know at some point you're gonna have to call me by my name." 

"Nah. If we get to call Luke a newbie, we get to call you Intern. Also I do not know how to say your first name."

 "You could just call me St―"

Enough of this. Spencer closes the last stretch of distance, batting your hand away from Intern’s shoulders as he kicks him out himself, slamming the door in his face. Spencer turns on his heel to face you, caging you both. “You―” He pants, chest heaving for air.

“Me?”

“You-him-we―”

You’re unfazed, simply nodding at him and his odd behavior. If anything, you’re enjoying this as your lips twitch in a poor attempt to withhold your amusement, trying to cover it with a slurp of your cup. Then again, it’s not everyday you get to see Spencer, face flushed from exertion, speechless as he gasps for breath.

(At least not at work… In the break room specifically.)

It takes a minute as Spencer swallows a few times, but his heart’s erratic and it’s not just from running through the entire building. When he’s got enough air, he blurts out, “Did I do something?”

Your brow shoots up. “What?”

“Did I forget something important? Upset you in some way?”

“No? I don’t think so?” You frown at him, your answers more like questions. 

It only spurs him on, and though his tone is frantic and his eyes just as wild as his hair, you’re more intrigued than frightened. Definitely confused.

“Okay, but you know I love you, right?”

“Yes and I love you too but Spence, what’s this about?" Setting down your mug, you look at him like he's grown another head.

Spencer sighs, "I just… you…" He frowns, glancing between you, the floor, and the empty space between you. 

Spencer Reid is a man of words. Many, many words, according to all his friends and his coworkers. Mainly knowledge―he's never been great with feelings―but as you gaze at him, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts, he wants to melt into the floor. There's not a hint of annoyance on your features, your eyes warm and inviting. 

He's so in love with you.

Then like scripture the words come, natural without much stuttering or hesitancy. He recounts the last two weeks. The internship so far, the times you've left Spencer behind for him, the times you just talked about him, like the guy (practically a stranger) is your new best friend. Usually, pretty people make him tongue-tied and you do―god, you do―but at the same time only you make it so easy. Talking, expressing without fear of―

"Pfft―"

―Judgement. Pausing mid-sentence, Spencer gawks as your nose twitches and your blink rate increases. You purse your lips, a hand slapped over your mouth as it threatens to break out into a grin.

"Are you-are you laughing right now?" When he just poured his feelings out to you? 

That does it. You keel over, peels of laughter coming like a tsunami, crashing into him and Spencer loves your laugh but not when it's at him. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," you wheeze, gripping your stomach. Spencer pouts. There's even tears in your eyes. "But you're telling me this is all because you're jealous?"

He stutters, "Well-I-no-It’s just…" He wants to say ‘you're mine’, but as your eyes crinkle he knows there’s no need.

"That's kinda hot."

"Wha-really?" Wide-eyed, Spencer squeaks as you step closer to him, backing him into the door. His hands come up to his chest in a kitten-like manner yet at the same time protective―you'd never hurt him and you both know that―but you admit your initial reaction was poor when he laid his feelings bare. 

“Ahhhh Babe, you know there’s no one else for me but you.” Spencer blushes and you chuckle, taking his hands in yours. He let's you. “Also, as adorable as Intern is, one, I think I’d be able to tell if he was hitting on me, and two, he’s not really my type.”

Spencer swallows, “And what exactly is your type?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” Looking him up and down, you step closer, enough that your breath puffs against his chin. You smell like cheap coffee. “Tall, handsome doctors with messy, brown hair―” You lightly tug at one of his stray curls and he bites back a smile. 

“―and a cute nose―” Your hand moves to cup his cheek, bringing him down to peck the tip of his nose. It scrunches as Spencer breaks out into giggles. 

“―Who can recite classic literature. Who can bake like he belongs on The Great British Baking Show but can’t cook for shi―”

“Okay! Thank you, I get it,” Spencer says, almost completely relaxed now.

“Good,” You nod with finality. “And for your information, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous."

He raises an eyebrow. "So you just abandoned me and talked about another guy for the hell of it?"

Spencer's tone is casual, joking even but you know better. There's underlying bitterness and hurt and your heart squeezes because you did that. "No, of course not. There is a reason behind all that.“

“What could possibly excuse you going above and beyond your job as a mentor―”

“I was trying to set you guys up.”

Spencer deadpans. “Set me up? With him?” Oh god, he knows you’re weird, but he’s never considered you to be outright insane (is it weird he still loves you?).

As if reading his thoughts, you roll your eyes, “Spencer, how many friends do you have outside the team?”

“Not a lot.” No hesitation, but he accepted the fact a long time ago. 

“Yeah and that’s okay. But if you’d talk to Intern, you’ll find you two have a lot in common. I know he’s younger than us, but he’s a good kid, real smart,” You give him a meaningful look and shrug, “Not like IQ 187 smart but he could definitely hold a conversation with you.”

Spencer murmurs, pulling you in so you're chest to chest, “This entire time, you were really trying to make us friends?”

You nod, your expression a mix of giddiness and hope that makes whatever feelings he felt before, the confusion and―yes, fine―the jealousy, dissolve like sugar in water. Spencer sinks into you, burying his face into the crook of your neck and inhaling your soap. Of course you had good intentions. Of course you wanted to do something nice for him.

Fuck, he loves you.

“So… we good?”

Spencer huffs, “I hope you realize how much I suffered the past few weeks.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Then yes, we’re good,” He mumbles into your shoulder, “I appreciate what you were trying to do.”

“And?”

His brow furrows and he pulls back, meeting your eyes. “And what?”

“Will you try to be friends?” You look at him expectantly.

Spencer opens his mouth to answer, a definitive no on his tongue, but then you’re giving him puppy-dog eyes and before he realizes it, “Okay.”

Wait, no. That is not what he meant to say.

“Yeah!” You throw your arms around him, and Spencer can’t stop you, grunting as you basically swing him around like a rag doll. But he finds he doesn’t care when you set him back down because you’re happy, happy for him, grinning ear to ear as you babble, “I can already tell you two are gonna be the best of friends! You guys have so much to talk about, all that nerdy stuff. Maybe even debate! And we could play chess and―”

There’s a knock and you both turn, a voice muffled by the door, “Hey, guys? I don’t want to interrupt in case you’re boning, but you didn’t exactly tell me where to wait for you? God, I hope you guys aren’t boning. Please tell me you’re not boning right now.”

You groan, “No Intern, we’re not boning! Right-uh-go ahead and meet me back at the office, I’ll be right with you.” You turn back to Spencer, sending him an apologetic look. “I will see you later, okay? And since you’ve been such a patient and understanding partner,” You plant him one last kiss before patting his cheek, and his eyes widen as your voice lowers in the way you know drives him crazy, your eyes glinting with mischief, “I’ll make it up to once we get home. Bye, love you!”

Before Spencer can fully register your words, you're out the door, cackling as you leave him to compose himself, his face beet red from running the possibilities. By the time he emerges from the break room, you’re long gone.

“Hi, Dr. Reid?”

Spencer almost snarls, cursing under his breath. Just when he thought the day was getting better. He turns back. 

Intern stands tall, relaxed and shoulders back, black tie loose and cheap white-collar button up slightly wrinkled. No doubt from working hard and following your instructions throughout the day. Spencer respects the work ethic at least. Meanwhile, the younger man eyes him, and he’s certain it’s not from intimidation but with curiosity.

Spencer doesn’t linger on that. He’s used to it, not being intimidating to others.

He continues, “It’s nice to finally talk to you, one on one I mean. I’m a fan of your work. Seven degrees, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spencer says curtly. Recalling the earlier conversation with you, he stamps down his irritation and tries to extend an olive branch. “How did you know?”

“It’s the internet, sir,” Intern raises an eyebrow, offering an innocent smile. 

“Right,” Spencer returns it with an awkward one of his own, “Hey, sorry for... literally kicking you out before. That was completely unprofessional.”

Intern waves him off, “No, it’s cool. I totally get it. I’m flattered, by the way.”

Spencer frowns. “Flattered?”

“Well, it’s not everyday you find out your superior’s jealous of you.”

Spencer blinks, and it takes all his experience as a profiler to mask his embarrassment. “You heard that.”

“The FBI’s got thin walls,” Intern shrugs and steps towards him. “Although I have to say, Agent (Your Last Name) is wrong about one thing.” Stopping short in front of him, for the first time Spencer is close enough to note the moles dotting his face. “They can’t tell that I’m flirting with them.” 

He starts down the hall after you, and Spencer’s eyes trail after him as his brow furrows, until realization slams into him and his jaw drops. “Wait, you...”

“Oh and since (Your Last Name) wants us to be friends, I think we could be on a first-name basis,” He pauses to look back at Spencer, watching with a crooked smile as the older man sputters. 

“So, you can call me Stiles, sir.”

Then once again, Spencer is left behind, frozen in the hallway as he processes what just happened.

And the next time he finds you and Special Agent Stilinski in the same room, whether it’s crowded or not, Spencer does not hesitate to cling to your side, putting as much distance between the intern and you as he can. Spencer’s grateful you don’t question it.

There may not be anyone else for you, but that doesn’t mean no one will try.

―

AN: ahhhhh thanks anon!! There was a similar request then i saw this tiktok (and listened to this tiktok the entire time) and i combined them. Id also like to emphasize that my version of reader is neutral across the board, race, gender, etc.

Yes, i have a type. No, i will not be taking criticism. 

Been hella overwhelmed with classes and work so here’s my way of destressing. Also suggest checking those tiktoks if you wanna understand me :))) also you mean to tell me i have to write the threesome myself?? Bs tbh 😔

watched 15x4 and i was so sad when Spencer addressed Luke as his coworker like no bitch hes your new bro stfu

and i have no doubt that stiles and spencer would be one of the best crossover duos given the chance