#tagging him bc hes the most relevant i feel.

[weirdmageddon]

first i wanna say whenever i said “differentiation” above i actually meant “individuation”. sorry got them mixed up they’re kinda similar words

#op had no clue you were looking at the tags thank you for the very #very smart addition with all your sources (wow) #felt like I was reading a paper I felt educated! #I love how I didn’t get that into what I was trying to say in tags but you completed my thought anyways #multiple times I went ‘that’s EXACTLY what I’m saying’

whaaat of COURSE i'm looking at the tags. i soak up what people have to say like a sponge. i think i was looking for a discussion and you got the ball rolling by bringing new information to the table i didn't know, but immediately knew how it fit into all the connections i've made, and i accidentally just gave birth to an essay?

i swear i wasn't even intending it to be a full-fledged essay. i just have a lot to say. there is a LOT i keep in my head because i don’t expect most people to have as in-depth of an understanding as me about it, but when it can actually pass as relevant to a discussion i’m so happy to be able to put it out there without alienating myself. from my perspective, twas a normal post for me to make when i have a lot of information i've been sitting on. and i like citing sources so that people can read more if they're interested. but this is probably unusual or for most of the people reading this, i mean who else have you seen casually posting something like this, BE REAL

also, YES "that is EXACTLY what i'm saying" that is one of my favorite feelings ever. i live for that. so glad i could expand on your thoughts!

#also jung in the houseeee!! idk if it’s just my family but we love jung over here #I really gotta read up on it my grandma is a therapist who practices only in jungian(?) #clearly im uneducated on the proper word here it’s also 4 am so forgive me #anyways yeah my gma big into jung then my mom and my brother and I was just talking about the dream book he has today #so I went ‘omg! Jung!’ while reading this #it’s always so nice to see someone with knowledge and passion throw down #I was just gonna stick to canon or in text examples

canon or in-text examples are great too, they’rereally the basis for everything. but i see connections between my interests and can’t help but smash them together in a way that deepens them individually cause they complement each other.

personality typology, carl jung’s ideas, socionics, etc. are given living breathing context to manifest within so it's not just a cerebral abstract theory. it’s reunited with the substance that these psychodynamic theories originated from in the first place.

the venture bros is inextricable from its creators because so much of themselves and their experiences are put into the show. i remember doc once said in some interview “we plumb our own lives”. in the commentary jackson said one of the streets in the show was designed based on a block from his childhood and that these are the same kinds of steps he'd sit on. or in the art book, “what’s one of the most embarrassing things that happened to me in my life that i can write from?” their philosophy is both very “write from what you know” (that’s also what i do). so analysis of the show and its characters, and by necessary extension, the creators, is deepened with tools that allow the analysis into the nature of self that complements the development of characters.

#also I didn’t want to get too into it in my tags bc I do feel uncomfortable theorizing the existence of a character #bc I knew Jackson mom passing had to be such a strong part of him but I felt uncomfortable going into that #they also made this show in their 20s? 30s?#the time frame where you end up thinking about your identity #there’s a commentary where doc mentions he at the time couldn’t let go of internally gay bashing himself #a thing his bullies did that he has now internalize but he found it weird bc he’s so old now and alone so why is he doing it? #and then I went there it is there is that proof I needed to know this is a breathing art

to tell you the truth, when i was writing i actually wasn't thinking about that at all. “feeling uncomfortable theorizing the existence of a character because you knew jackson's mom passing had to be such a strong part of him but felt uncomfortable going into that”. so reading you think that made me feel a smidge guilty/embarrassed in hindsight now for not even considering that. because, yeah, i don’t know jackson in person, i’ve never interacted with him personally. but i know enough about him as a person just through the show itself and how he reveals his personality through his relationship with doc hammer, his own words, his actions and writing decisions and that makes me just…..objectively confident about what he can handle?

i think the reason i didn’t feel uncomfortable talking about it is because i have no reason to think that jackson himself would mind it if he were to hypothetically read this. i don’t think i’m being presumptuous when i say i believe he’d find it interesting and insightful that i linked those things. i think he’d find it a lot more interesting and perceptive than... i dunno, a lot of the interview questions they’ve been asked? from my perspective it's like a “hey, i see you” kind of thing.

i mean come on they had the episode Assisted Suicide which LITERALLY depicts rusty’s id, ego, and super-ego as characters with their own clever designs and shit (it was written by doc hammer but still jackson publick was part of the production and the idea of it.) i really doubt either of them are averse to psychological exploration, so long as it comes from an informed foundation and not someone who literally doesn't know what they're talking about.

like yeah it is personal in the sense that it is personal to his life, but that doesn’t necessarily mean uncomfortably sensitive. you can talk about personal things and still have an ability to neutrally reason about it as a fact of life, or even joke about it. if you think about it that's basically what the whole show kind of is. that’s a big part of the actual spiritual composition of the show, right? (and based on comments i've read around, that's probably why it's got an antidepressant effect for a lot of people.)

as doc says, "we grew up weird and we're doing our best to just spread our version of love. Which is trying to find out who we are." well that's exactly what i'm doing too. exploring psychological forces is the stroke that's underlying the entire show. “how did these actions affect the internal development and emotional development of xyz”. i believe that's part of why why the narrative is so effective and plays off the character's dynamics so well and how they organically evolve.

(p.s. i’d love to have a new edition of the art book that accounts for the movie, assuming they’re not under some NDA about the scrapped season 8 ideas.)

and you’re right it IS breathing art. that’s how the show was made. the creative process was more spontaneous than having the whole thing planned out.

10:28

Chris: But I want to talk about the creative process here. I think fans of Venture Brothers will know the feeling that there’s this kind of amazing tension that drives the show, between planning and discovery. And you’ll have whole seasons or specific episodes that are kind of these amazingly intricate clockwork plots with these insane payoffs, but then there’s also this element of pure discovery, of something that was a toss-off joke or someone who happened to be a background character in one scene, because they were a background character in that scene having to become a main character three seasons later. So, I was just wondering... could you speak to that tension between planning and discovery?

Jackson: Uhh, more discovery than planning. And then just having a dumb memory and ticking on stupid things. And always like, from day one, the least important background character... I insisted that everybody look a little interesting. You know, like everbody’s appearance implied a story we weren’t telling you. And that paid off a few times. We got a few main characters out of that, ultimately. You know, like White and Billy were just these two weirdos at a science convention. And Doc was like, “I wanna write for the little eyepatch metal hand guy. Why does he have that?” You know? And then once you start doing that, you're like... “I gotta tell the story of how he got his metal hand! Cause I got nothing else.”

Chris: Yeah.

Jackson: So yeah, mostly discovery and accident and uh... mental catalogue of everything... that, you know... that sits in the back of your memory for years and these molecules just bounce off of each other.

Doc: Yeah. And we talk about these characters- we spoke in their voices for months. (Jackson laughs) Every day, at the expense of every relationship we’ve ever been in. (Jackson laughs harder) When we invented Sgt. Hatred’s voice, the guy at the deli-

Jackson: Oh my god... (wheezing laughing)

Doc: The guy at the DELI was like “what is WRONG with you”, I’m like, “(Hatred's voice) Eyeah, I’ll be havin”…

Jackson: (laughing)

Doc: ���The black and white...”

Jackson: (mic peaking, Hatred's voice) “EYEAH go ahead and uh Slap auh smidge a mustard on that, would ya?”

Doc: Through the voice we developed the character, and everything came from that. And since we’re obsessive about these voices and these characters, we lived them... We can’t have a conversation for more than ten minutes without doing an impression of one of our characters. And usually ones we don’t do. So you get to hear our horrible impressions of each other. That is just the way we thought.

Sean: So this season, why did you decide to explore so much of the Venture past?

Doc: Did we?

Jackson: Did we?

Doc: I think the season before this we got even crazier. We had to answer Billy questions that nobody asked.

Jackson: Right. Yeah, that was the season with old Billy, ORB, uhh..

Doc: Yeah. We went 100 years into the Venture past. So this one we kinda stayed...

Jackson: We did a little Spanakopita, we did a little um, in the Rose stuff and the... but those were pretty quick flashbacky things.

Doc: Little quick flashbacks...

Jackson: But also the show is all about these people who are kinda.. haunted by, and trying to live up to their pasts and what the promise of what their life was supposed to be like. And it’s... the history is constantly pouring more shit down on their heads. Like, we’ve always had a show where things come back to get you like that.

Doc: Even things that happened so long ago and nobody knew about until that moment. Yeah, we work in past, present, future... it’s that kinda show.

#vbros is still to me and morel Orel shows that are created with intention #and by people who were working through a thought so clear you can see it from space #and that intention is something so interesting and unique #anyway amazing analysis

you’re also so right, and thank you for kind words

if i had the opportunity to talk to doc and jackson, i’d love to see what they have to say about what we touched on: about hank’s developmental arc always feeling like it would fit the end of the vbros and kind of culminating in its overarching theme of individuation (whether they explicitly knew it or not. it’s in the material no matter what because that’s what organically happened to the show itself), and what they had wanted to do with him before they had to cut it down to movie size. was hank going to really Go Through the psychological ringer or what. how much were we going to see of that that was cut out.

also the unintentional retreading of jungian ideas in the show (though a lot of superhero stuff is about playing with identity in these ways that could be examined through analytical psychology like bruce banner and his other side, the hulk.) i wanna hear about how playing with the self and personalities and self-discovery factors into it all. hank’s alter-egos being a personification of psychic structures, or complexes/sub-personalities? (was i right about my interpretation?)

how similar is the relationship hank has to his alter-egos to the relationship jackson publick has to hank and the monarch as characters he created? like hank's alter-egos, they could both be considered autonomous mini-personalities stemming from jackson’s own self, as he said hank (and monarch) contained the most of him, drawn from his “own dumb thoughts, actions, and misbeliefs”. like a meta fractal thing. and that’s part of the creative process just as much as anything else about the show, probably one of the most vital to the quality of the characters yet subconscious and not really talked about. i'd looove to dive into that with them.

especially with hank’s no mommy plotline and how personal that was to hank, which reflects jackson’s reality. we can’t really see who worked on what scenes since the movie was collaborative, but i want to know who was writing hank. his emotions felt so authentic but it also felt big because we’ve never seen hank so serious, you could feel a shift with hank buckling down which made it feel important. my guess would be jackson since his understanding would enable him to channel that masterfully into hank which makes it so compelling. but i could be wrong since i know doc said he can write eight pages for psychological issues (look at me doing it too god fucking damn it) but writing action is like a tiny footnote.

basically i wanna talk to them about everything i said up to this point in this post. if anyone reading this has connections, get me in contact. i’m invested in this now.

whereas dean was tormented by being a clone and hank wasn’t, not having a mom or mother figure seemed to torment hank a lot more than dean which is interesting.

[funsizedcrow]

Am I way overthinking or am I onto something? A collection of observations:

In divine dark reflections, Twilight uses the dominion rod on a small owl-like statue.

(x)

and then Legend, cursed in rabbit form, uses the master sword to return to his normal shape.

(x)

Twilight then later chases the Shadow through the ruins of a dungeon.

(x)

(note: you can see the puzzle that they will later solve! jojo's attention to detail is amazing)

Later, (after Twilight almost dies) they walk through a portal and are met with the very same dungeon, but in the past, where everything is much more intact.

(x)

This is all incredibly similar to the Temple of Time in Twilight Princess, in which Link, cursed into his wolf form, uses the master sword to return to his hylian form, gaining the shadow crystal.

He then walks through a gate of time, to the exact same place but instead of ruins, it is an intact dungeon, where he finds the dominion rod

Time also specifically notes that there is an owl motif.

(x)

included in these is Kaepora Gaebora, from Ocarina of Time, also known as Rauru, the sage of light, who resides in the sacred realm inside of the temple of time

Around this time, shortly after the divine dark reflections arc is also when Wind discovers his connection with Time, and one timeline split is revealed.

(x)

[ebitenpura]

it's difficult to figure out exactly what Eight does in the Alliance besides wait for missions because a weapon reformed into a walking stick is not finding much purpose in being a walking stick, but he also really is just...a guy who takes it day by day.

I like to think he would find a place to settle into or a role he feels suits him in an Alliance that has actual direction, but in my main (and the game's) timeline, he's sort of turned back to freelancing. without an enemy to slay, a purpose of being, or even a cruel workcycle to grind himself beneath, it's not hard to say he feels a little aimless. but, if there's one thing he's learned while being cut loose from being anyone's sword, it's that he doesn't exactly mind playing it by ear and seeing what the next morning brings anymore. sure, it's odd not being under anyone's thumb. it's strange to dedicate time to learning who he is outside of the veneer he thought was his identity but in actuality was a mask he could not wear when those institutions that required it fell.

still, when one mask cracks, you make a new one. it's just hard to remember you have a face when you've hid it for so long-- and eight, mysterious as he is, finds being out in the light to be nothing short of difficult to adjust to. what cipher wouldn't struggle to be so free, after all of it? who are the nameless, when suddenly removed from the life of cloak and dagger they were meant to die in?

"I just don't know who I'll be...without." Shara's own words about her conditioning come to mind often. she spoke for the both of them unknowingly; most days he himself can't find the answer to that question. but... somehow he believes if she's out there trying, he has to as well. for both their sakes.

[blorboresidue]

for months I've been thinking about how whatever my next fic ends up being is going to introduce the Chubby Kantarou tag into the ao3 ecosystem but now I'm strongly considering just. not tagging it at all and just acting as if readers should expect it. do you think I could gaslight pple into thinking that that's widespread fanon and not just my own personal headcanon? do you think I could gaslight readers from outside the fandom into thinking it's canon? not tagging it could grant me unspeakable power....

[orcelito]

I think im gonna cave & tag Midvalley in my fanfiction

I still don't know just how longterm he'll be around (it'll depend on how things shake out & whether he ends up liking Vash enough to stick around) but Even Tho he's mostly been long-distance present, he's been important to the story and So It Shall Remain for at least a while.

So. Midvalley 4th most major character I guess?

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Back on my analysis nonsense but not quite awake enough to write a full essay right now so please enjoy this snippet of analysis about Inej, language, and the word “girl”. It’s all stuff I’ve talked about before but I haven’t given it’s own post before and I’ve been rereading some of my old stuff to get back in the mindset so I thought I’d bring this back up because I find it really interesting - I’m also really hoping to write the post about Fruszi that I’ve been planning on doing for basically since season 2 came out tomorrow or at least very soon so hopefully that won’t be too long

Inej Ghafa, Language, and the Word “Girl”

⚠️As always in my analyses, constant spoilers ahead!! 🖤

⚠️I’m going to talk about Inej’s trauma and her ptsd, and this post will also possibly include references to the other characters’ trauma and ptsd as well

Hi okay it’s been a while since we did this and I realise it’s probably the reason most of you follow me so sorry about that but let’s jump right in - I often say it’s after midnight and I’m thinking about Soc so let’s talk but today I actually have to say it’s almost midnight and I’m thinking about Six of Crows, so let’s talk: Inej’s internalised misunderstanding of the Kerch word for “girl”.

In the Bathroom Scene during Crooked Kingdom (which I have a full analysis posted of if anyone would like to read it; I can tag you or you can follow the link in my pinned post), we see Inej at the point she allows herself to be most vulnerable with another character. I think we forget this because we know much more about it than they do, but the other Crows know very little about what Inej went through at the Menagerie - Kaz himself in that very scene describes having “the barest inkling of what she’d endured there” - and previously when we’ve learnt anything about her experiences they have mostly been through flashbacks that Inej experienced during other events of the book. On the boat to Fjerda, in the surgeon’s cabin with Nina, Inej battles with flashbacks and insists Nina sing to her and teach her the chorus of the song to try and distract herself - Nina of course knows that something is going on, but only the reader is actually told what’s happening in Inej’s head - and when she has a flashback at Sweet Reef (the man who smelled of vanilla) she’s alone until Dunyasha arrives. This scene with Kaz is really the only time we see her express herself and, as openly as she can, attempt to speak about some extent of what she went through out loud. I’ve dissected a lot of what she says in this scene in the past and formed theories about it before, but I haven’t talked as much about this quote:

“Tante Heleen wasn’t always cruel”

After this introduction she goes on to explain the emotional abuse and manipulation that Heleen put her through, going so far as to specify that because endearment became something akin to danger she flinched the first time Nina hugged her, and she also mentions in the scene that sometimes when Jesper puts his arm around her she feels like she’s going to vanish. This particular description of Heleen has very strong parallels to descriptions of Van Eck’s abuse of Wylan, and though I don’t want to go into that in too much detail now bc I’ve talked about it before and how their parallels are what create a lot of the Wylan/Inej parallels I do think that it’s a relevant thing to mention as I bridge into the next quote I want to bring up; when Van Eck takes Inej captive and is claiming that he has treated her like this because this is what he know her to expect from her life experiences, she internally comments that he sounds like Heleen and we get a memory of this quote:

“Why do you make me do these things? You bring these punishments on yourself, girl”.

This obviously had very strong links to the way Van Eck abuses Wylan and teaches him to actively blame himself, which I’ve talked about in the last, but I also want to add that it’s so interesting when we see Heleen call Inej “girl” because she very rarely uses terms that don’t actively dehumanise her/any of the other children at the Menagerie. Of course the use of the epithet is still a big part of the way Inej was denied identity at the Menagerie, remember she audibly sobbed when Kaz said her real name out loud the night she left, but it doesn’t necessarily hold the same immediate, discomforting effect that other epithets Heleen uses, such as “little Lynx” (actively diminishing and dehumanising Inej whilst using an oxymoronic phrase to effectively imply that she is a tamed animal and even though she should be able to fight free she never will. As a side note linked to this, the word “little” is often used derogatorily towards Inej, most obviously by Heleen and Van Eck and most notably when she breaks his nose and he shouts “you little wretch! You little whore!” and she replies “go on Van Eck, tell me all the little things I am”). But I would actually argue that when Heleen uses the word “girl”, she intends it with all the same dehumanisation as she does “Lynx”.

Throughout Inej’s experiences in the duology, the word “girl” is used almost exclusively in two ways: 1) as an insult, 2) possessively. Whenever the children at the Menagerie are referred to as “girls” it is always in a possessive context, for example these quotes are the Ice Court Heist when Inej is wearing the Lynx silks:

“… in front of her girls”

“Your girl will be returned to you”

“Where is my girl?”

“That is not my girl”

And this is an ongoing theme throughout the books. However, the idea is most obviously presented in a quote by Inej herself, and this is where it quite truly breaks my heart:

“not really people, not even really girls.”

Okay I'm really tired and this post is already longer than I was planning so from this point forth everything in the quotation marks is directly taken from another post where I talked more briefly about this:

' As if “girls” and “people” are two separate entities. As if “girls” are not human. This is the language and the attitude that she was surrounded by at the Menagerie and is still surrounded by in the city, and what was forced upon her throughout her experiences in the country. But you know what else might be a genuinely horrifying little detail of this????? Inej may have actually taught herself that the words “people” and “girls” are not synonymous. Because when Inej was brought to Kerch she wasn’t fluent in the language, she spoke some of it and quickly learnt the rest through circumstance, so if this was the way she heard Kerch people use the word “girl” this is how she would internalise the definition of it. I hope this makes sense I’m not sure if I’m relating my thoughts very clearly, it’s kind of like how Matthias was forced to learn Kerch because he was in a Kerch prison so he doesn’t know words that would easily come to him in Fjerdan, like the snow goggles, but instead of simply having gaps Inej has actually learnt a false grammar system that defines “girl” as a dehumanising term because it means someone who is less than or someone who is property. '

I feel like I might have had something to add but if I did then I have forgotten it; if it return to me in the morning then I will return to add it but for now I am going to bid you all goodnight. Thank you for reading these mad ramblings and I hope they made some semblance of sense and/or were interesting <33

⚠️This is a theory and this is my personal literary interpretation; I am not saying that this is an intentional choice made by Leigh Bardugo, though it may be I have no idea, and I am not saying that you have to agree with me. Literary analysis is not about presenting one definitive answer, and if you have either differing interpretations or further points you’d like to add then please do as I would love to read them! <3

[jaegerisim]

Vent post y'all are gonna hate me for.

I viscerally hate how the Duffers treat most of their non white or queer characters and I hate even more viscerally, how y'all big byler blogs in your circle jerk of other 5 big byler blogs casually like to ignore many red flags the show has.

Y'all like to say: "tHe DufFeRs ArE gReAt WrIteRs" and it's like girl, who are you lying to??? They aren't top shit writers at all. The Duffers are pretty mid imo. Yeah, they run a good show that's fun to watch and theorize abt , but that doesn't mean they're good writers cuz they're not.

1. they completely side lined Will during s3 for the sake of their straight romances: lumax, jancy, mlvn, duzie and partly stobin (even if stobin wasn't endgame, thankfully, Steve's intentions were clearly wanting to date Robin and they gave it a lot of screen time). Will was sidelined bc he didn't fit the straight romance plotline bc they planned to make him gay or whatever. Now in s4 Will and his feelings have been used as mlvn toilet paper. Yes, we like to say this is build up for byler but canonically, Will's feelings have been used to clean the shit mlvn leaves behind.

2. Billy was sympathized a lot during the last 2 seasons. They gave him the sad backstoryTM in order for ppl to feel sorry for him. Billy's backstory is literally Jonathan's but whatever.

3. El's anger issues are constantly girlboss-ified. They down play her bullying situation and literally just use it for El to be a ''girlboss" without realizing how triggering that is. As someone who has lived bullying, seeing it be ignored by canon and fanon is super sad. The whole Rink-O' Mania experience must have been so traumatizing for her yet, everyone absolutely forgets abt it 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Robin, Erica and Argyle are stereotypical characters. Robin is the quirky lesbian with social anxiety, Erica is the badass black woman and Argyle is the Latino stoner that sells weed to white kids and works as a pizza delivery guy.

5. Altho Argyle and Eddie both do drugs, (Eddie actually sells K-12 to a minor and nobody batted an eye. He has a huge fan base). Eddie is held in a pedestal bc "poor thing 🥺 he lives in a trailer with his uncle 🥺". Tell me a single fact you know abt Argyle that isn't "he smokes weed", "he is Jonathan's only friend", "drives a van" and "he works at a pizzeria". Exactly, Eddie is given a useless backstory and Argyle isn't.

6. Dustin stopped being important to the plot sometime around s2 and s3. He is only there to curse and be mildly funny. My guy needs to hangout with ppl his age cuz he only hangs out with seniors.

7. El needs to stop having so much "I'M THAT BITCH" screentime like I need in s5 for El's arc to not just be her becoming more powerful and falling in love with Mike. I need the Duffers to explore her trauma and problems.

8. Angela should have been run over by the van.

9. Patrick should have been given a backstory that isn't the basic "strict black parents that hit their kids cuz they are a disgrace". Patrick's backstory is actually racist af, fight w the wall.

10. As Lex already said, they didn't trigger tag the ep where Jason and his friends assault Lucas and Erica. Like wtf? Why was that necessary? Why did I have to see a black boy being held at gunpoint by some white guy?? Was it relevant to the plot?? I don't think so. And then I've got to see ppl online be like "Jason wasn't that bad. He was just mourning" like bitch you can stfu. This is what happens when you make the racist assholes conventionally attractive.

Also the fact that Lucas's arc is fulfilled by him fist-fighting Jason and "embracing his weirdness" aka accepting he is black. His arc was not fulfilled at all cuz that ending spoke so loud to me. It showed how little empathy ppl have towards the struggles poc ppl living in the Midwest have. Y'all circle jerks can only see racism when it's super obvious.

Furthermore, parents complained when ST showed "an excessive amount of smoking" yet nobody batted an eye when Billy tried to run over Lucas, when Erica (an 11 y.o ffs) was chased by white kids or when Lucas was held at gunpoint by Jason.

All of this happened while they focused on Max's guilt and mourning that, yeah, are important but certainly not less important than racism!!!

11. In s3, they gave us that whole Nancy vs The Bigots arc that was honestly just triggering and useless. It didn't help Nancy's character at all, quite the opposite it put unnecessary angst.

12. Lonnie being presented as an abuser just for him to never be spoken of again. Can we please get to explore the trauma he left the Byers's with?

13. The fact that both queer relationships are considered "sloppy seconds" is extremely sad. Both Vickie and Mike are rebounding from their failed relationship with Robin and Will. These 2 ships have caused more commotion than Jancy and Jopper together! (These last ships are technically sloppy seconds too but everybody forgets that. Shocker!!)

14. Last but not least, ppl blame Argyle for being the one to get Jonathan into smoking weed as if Jonathan probably wasn't the one looking for it. Let me tell you, that you only find weed if you look for it.

[rutadales]

So instead of sending an ask clearing up misinformation on these tags bc that would be pointless and serve to only make people upset, instead I am going to illustrate to all of you how short, quippy, and wrong statements completely control the conversation. Any attempt to clear up misinfo is going to take twice as long and be a lot less clipable (tbc this person isn't doing this intentionally doing this (at least to my knowledge) but it goes to show how pervasive these quick and wrong statements are). Watch:

"dream gave gumball's va alcohol" completely wrong, dream and gumball here both went to a birthday party of a mutual friend and met 20 minutes prior to the interaction in the Uber. There's nothing to show that Dream even brought alcohol to the event, let alone saught out a 20 year old to give it to him.

"VA is underage" technically correct in the specific context of America's legal drinking age, but so misleading it feels intentional. For most people underage means below 18, a minor, and not a 20 year old adult making the decsion to drink a year before it's legal. Any reasonable person is going to assume 17 or younger here.

"VA had a bipolar swing" There's nothing to suggest this besides people decided it. You can't diagnose a manic episode from a 4 minute clip and the majority of you are not capable of diagnosing anytime at all. No one has confirmed this, not even gold statue Michaelangelo (who by the way has deleted every tweet involving the situation). But even in the scenario where he is manic in those clips, being manic is not a free pass to verbal harass minimum wage workers and be freely antisemitic, ablest, and homophobic. But I digress.

"and called Dream a faggot" yeah that parts true

Even more additional context that is relevant is Dream was physically assaulted by Gumball's VA. Gumball's VA directly asked if Dream was Jewish after saying Dream would never get rid of his money, called the Uber driver the r slur and said the Uber driver had down syndrome. He then threatened to kill or paralyze Dream.

See how long that took? Almost 400 words to counter 4 lines. And I'm giving the original commentor the benefit of the doubt here and assuming they're just repeating what they heard but you see how that's dangerous? You see how this method of controlling interactions keeps the flow on the side of the person who is factually wrong?

And I didn't even get into how this is a tactic of the alt right, how it serves to normalize using faggot as a weapon, how it actively desensitizes people to bigotry if the person on the receiving end "deserves it". Or how harmful instantly trying to make the assaulter in this situation the victim, or using mental illness as an excuse to assault and threaten to kill people is also bad! Because even though that is all true and absolutely necessary in this conversation, I can't get into it! Because it would take even longer and "I ain't reading all that" is the most annoying, damaging phrase on twitter right now.

[just-some-guy-joust]

Just Some Guy OC Tourney - Side A: Round 1

Rules:

do NOT be mean to anyone or any characters in these polls. you MUST clarify if you are joking/teasing or you will be blocked. if you are someone who entered an oc into this and you are mean to other contestants you will be disqualified

do NOT claim a character doesn't deserve to be here. yes including your own. be nice

if you are posting propaganda you have to tag us, including if your propaganda is in the reblogs. it is difficult to tell when something is or isn't propaganda. anything not tagging us will likely be missed

please don't hesitate to let me know if i messed something up!

have fun, hype each other up <3 thank you

Evergreen | She/her | @insertsona

shes just kind of chilling tbh . she's technically unemployed (didn't feel like it) and spends most of her time vibing . her ex recently returned to the city after randomly disappearing for years and she was just kind of oh hey glad youre back . her most interesting trait is that she takes part in a fighting tournament once a year and wins it usually . and shes transgender

Promos: evergreen is a character in my oc universe teunia! shes a side character in the main story the tourney and a slightly more main character in the unnamed prequel that i think abt very often (but have yet to develop . bc im too busy thinking abt my dr oc constantly)

teunia's folder -> https://toyhou.se/InsertSona/characters/folder:3849690

~

Zephyr Fey | He/him | @lord-plague

An averagely built guy who somehow managed to join the military force of his fortress city without a birth certificate, ID, and with dyed hair. Nobody knows where he came from, nobody knows why he is here but there he is. No magic or superhuman abilities or prodigal skills but my god does he make great goo bowls with greater personalities (nobody wants the goo bowls and he does not know why). That one friend that keeps trying to alleviate awkward situations with jokes and random laughter.

~

Full images and descriptions under the cut!

EVERGREEN IS LITERALLY SO JUST SOME GUY. despite being a repeat champion for the tourney she lives in a shitty studio apartment . she had a girlfriend that was also her rival and then they broke up and she was just oh ok! her hobbies include vibing, hanging out, etc. shes like those old guys you see watching planes take off or construction occur . nobody knows where she gets her money from . her ex's new partner is a friend of hers. she doesn't even bear any relevance to the first main plotline because she's too busy doing other stuff she just happens to also be in the city while the horrors occur . sometimes shell go to the local coffee shop and just not order anything . i wanna be her friend . i havent actually posted her on tumblr . shes so some guy that most of the facts abt her character i can think abt are so mundane i never even bothered to write them down

[no extra description provided]

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia!

I've been reading a bunch of your works over the last couple of months and I hope it's okay if I throw some thoughts/questions at you!

This feels really forward, but have you ever written anything with voyerism as a kink? And if not, do you have any interest in it? TIP is the most recent thing of yours that I've finished and that scene where Augus watched Mosk & Eran... hot. Twas very hot. I think about it a lot lol.

As for the Underline universe, how far into Blue and Gold are we? Like percentage/fraction-wise? Or is it still up in the air? I know we have an end in sight for Black now and it makes me wonder.

I'm so nervous about the next couple of chapters of Black. Gosh I love the fluff rn, but I am so scared for the whole Henton/Crielle mess to come back. I genuinely forgot that Henton was gonna be relevant and I looked at the tags recently and audibly went 'oh shit.' This is not a question, I just want you to know that I am Scared.

I have so many questions about Silver but I am trying to restrain myself bc I know you must keep your secrets. Just please know I think about them. Could I ask what Augus and Corbyn's ages are? I'm fairly certain they're not gonna be 80 but I work as a CNA and I've started thinking about their dynamic as a cute old couple at a facility and it makes me giggle a little.

If you're still doing the OC asks thing, would you do #10 for Arden? I know you've gotten multiple asks about him in Underline (which makes sense why you wouldn't want to put him there), but I'm curious if there's any other scenarios you'd want to put him in?

I'm the anon that asked for more about Caleb and I just. Am fighting demons not to literally put 1-25 for him (I love mean tops)(And he is still in his mean to faber stage)(will he ever not be? that's not a actual question) I just...his and fabers dynamic is my kind of hurt lol (i wonder how he'd feel about having a tiny fanclub?)(i can support his buisness pursuits or something)

Now that I look all of this over I am sorry but also not sorry this is probably overwhelming. Feel free to skip over whatever or answer some and come back to it. Just know I am thinking about your characters like... too many hours in the day. I need to get back to laundry lol

Whoa holy fucking questions batman!

I shall do my best anon I am intrigued

This feels really forward, but have you ever written anything with voyerism as a kink? And if not, do you have any interest in it? TIP is the most recent thing of yours that I've finished and that scene where Augus watched Mosk & Eran... hot. Twas very hot. I think about it a lot lol.

Voyeurism, yes! Particularly in one of the later chapters of The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle where Felix and Murtagh watch a kink scene live, and Murtagh edges Felix during it, while quietly talking to him, until Felix is basically begging to come.

Otherwise I'm not writing it often mostly because many of the bottoms I write are either a) too insecure to perform for others or b) it's just not a direction the story is going in.

I don't really write exhibitionism at all, but there are elements of voyeurism around, Falling Falling Stars had some non-sexual and hints of voyeurism overall re: Efnisien, Kadek, and Arden.

I'm fairly certain the Strange Sights universe has elements of both (exhibitionism from Augus, voyeurism from Ash and Augus towards each other). Especially the follow-up sequel, where Ash asks Augus to masturbate for him.

Eversion probably has the most in terms of people watching Connor. In fact the very first time we ever see him in a sex scene, it's at a BDSM club where literally someone is just there to watch him get off, and he meets his dom while both of them watch someone else endure a flogging, and Connor is - similarly to Felix - played with while watching the scene. There's also the threesome between Luuk, Hank and Connor later, where it's clear that Hank and Luuk are both enjoying watching each other as well as Connor. So I would say Eversion probably has the most!

It's not something I write often, but it's around! (two of these fics are over at my thespectaclesofthor AO3 account!)

As for the Underline universe, how far into Blue and Gold are we? Like percentage/fraction-wise? Or is it still up in the air? I know we have an end in sight for Black now and it makes me wonder.

No idea re: Blue and Gold, though I know neither of them will be anywhere near as long as Black. To the point where I'm hoping to wrap up Blue and Gold around the chapter 35-45 mark. But hope is a fickle thing, and it could be earlier, could be later. They were never designed to be stories that had huge development arcs or anything, they're pretty much done once the characters have bonded successfully / shared a successful heat. Both stories end before Underline the Black starts in terms of in-world timeline!

I'm so nervous about the next couple of chapters of Black. Gosh I love the fluff rn, but I am so scared for the whole Henton/Crielle mess to come back. I genuinely forgot that Henton was gonna be relevant and I looked at the tags recently and audibly went 'oh shit.' This is not a question, I just want you to know that I am Scared.

You should be : )

I mean, it'll be fine!

Well, both of those things can be true, lol.

I have so many questions about Silver but I am trying to restrain myself bc I know you must keep your secrets. Just please know I think about them. Could I ask what Augus and Corbyn's ages are?

They're in their fifties! I haven't gotten exact ages on them yet, but I know that if Alois complains about being old around Corbyn, Corbyn is just going to smile tiredly at him.

If you're still doing the OC asks thing, would you do #10 for Arden?

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

Honestly, I feel like his story is "closed." I don't really know how to explain this, but with some of the characters I write, I hit a point where I just don't need to write them again. Eran is the same.

I think it's telling (to me) that in all the stories I'm writing after Falling Falling Stars, each one of them is literally revolving around *another* character that isn't Arden (whether it's Gwyn, or Kadek, or Dr Gary). That doesn't mean Arden isn't around, I just have no drive to tell a version of his story again.

Some characters stay open mentally, and others sort of mentally go into the 'I'm done' space. Gwyn and Augus took forever to kind of walk into the 'I'm done' space (and they're still not fully there)! - Arden was there immediately after Falling Falling Stars was over.

Also they kind of choose that space? I stay open generally because I like writing AUs a lot, so it's like a weird sense of like a character walking away from me, vs. me being like 'I'm tired of you.' Arden walked away! He was happy, lol. So I literally have zero other story ideas for Arden and I think he'd be mad at me for trying to think up any.

I'm the anon that asked for more about Caleb and I just. Am fighting demons not to literally put 1-25 for him (I love mean tops)(And he is still in his mean to faber stage)(will he ever not be? that's not a actual question) I just...his and fabers dynamic is my kind of hurt lol (i wonder how he'd feel about having a tiny fanclub?)(i can support his buisness pursuits or something)

Anon I promise you that you're not the only one who cares about Caleb!! Also I love this douche guy, can't wait to show more of him!

If you limit yourself to like 3 questions from the meme each time, you can send more asks! I still have a few to get to in general. :D

[uraberika]

First impressions of Victory Road by someone who has never played any of the inazuma games. I am halfway through watching a gameplay but I just had to share so BEWARE (MILD) SPOILERS AHEAD

the rock-paper-scissors gameplay is absolutely hilarious and i am so here for it and all of its unexplored potential

contrast that with the story which takes a very wild and serious turn from the beginning which is so spot on for the inazuma franchise i actually gasped. it is genuinely the most inazuma thing ever, i swear

the characters seem to evoke other characters but not enough to feel like copy-pastes which i really like

Sakurazaki looks like a mix between Kidou and Gouenji which i appreciate

Unmei is such an awkward little emo boi, i love him already. he still has the drive to protect ppl like Endou but without the sunshine attitude; he is way more analytical which is honestly sooo refreshing i could cry

speaking of sunshine, Kisoji is a 10/10 character already, instant fave, precious boy, must protect, and i have not expected him to become so relevant so early (i thought the others like that long haired goalkeeper would be in the forefront rather)

there are few girls but you can already see the ones who might become relevant to the story: Juno is Haruna/Akane coded, while Lilac evokes Natsumi for me but we shall see if they become relevant later on

pls pls let that female teacher be their coach, i have been missing women coaches from inazuma

i don't mind the simulated social media in it. it doesn't add much for me but it also helps in establishing how far away from the og series we are, which i appreciate

og characters becoming coaches was a top tier idea in GO too, i'm glad they kept it

i have said it before and will say it a hundred times, endou's kid being uninterested in soccer and being a little brat in the field is a genius move and whoever came up with that should deserve a raise. it seems a bit self-evident but when you think about it... endou had met and recruited/shown the ways of sakka yarouze to many such kids who did not care about football the Right WayTM and for his son to become the antithesis of his own philosophy... *chef's kiss*

i am gonna lose my mind because of the names though... like i will end up referencing half the cast in japanese bc that is how i learnt their names before the game came out but now i only know many other character's translated names so... my tagging system will be a mess

[shifting-critters]

INTRODUCTION

Hi hello! I’m Willow! And if it ain’t obvious, I’m a reality shifter ✨✨

I go by any pronouns and I’m a minor (14-16).

More info under the cut!

What I will post:

Art, memes, tips, stories etc. all relating to reality shifting! And maybe some off topic things from here and there 😭

Boundaries:

I am chill with being friends with anyone of any age (13+) BUT don’t just randomly ask to be friends! I gotta get to know you first! So feel free to send a dm or an ask and start a conversation. I’ve had way too many bad experiences in the past with impulsively becoming friends with strangers and they always tend to be weird or rude

I do art trades! If you ever want to draw each other’s ocs or drselves (and yes, i can draw you x your s/o if ya want) don’t be shy to ask! I won’t draw anything suggestive in any way though

if ur an anti-shifter (why is that even a thing 😭) just leave bro i dont care whether you personally believe or not. Treat it like a religion: even if you don’t believe in the rules one goes by or who they worship, leave them alone!!

this is a safe space to vent! Preferably only shifting related stuff tho. sorry Rebecca but I don’t think your work drama is relevant to my blog (unless the work drama is from your dr)

i use tone tags, and it would be appreciated if you did too! You don’t have to, but sometimes i cant tell what exactly people mean online 😭

Random Stuff You Should Know:

This account is a sideblog, so that’s why any asks I send will be anonymous with a link to this profile. That’s also why you may be followed by Estelle-skully, bc that’s my main blog :p

The name “shifting-critters” comes from my little reality shifting group- while only I post here, Hunter (he/him) and Orville (she/her) will probably be mentioned a lot! Most of our drs are groupshifting drs

Whenever I say “touchdown” I’m talking about shifting. Don’t ask

I always portray the critters as animals: Hunter is a monkey, Orville is a rat, and I’m a ram/sheep

I have a tiktok account!!!!!!!! It’s Shifting_critters if you’re interested in checking it out

Master Posts:

[cuephrase]

all the penance ✨lore✨

i say "all" i will probs forget stuff lmao. if you had any questions or this posts spark some, feel free to send me an ask!!

so okay. one of the things i absolutely delight in doing as a writer is like attention to detail for oomph and drama and sometimes that comes through very clearly, like the chapter names each being a different stage of grief (which was technically not planned, as in i didn't know that from the jump but as soon as i titled chapter 1 i knew what they were all going to be), and other times it's more subtle. basically, i overthink everything but uh i have fun and now i'm going to share all that with you!!

if you are most interested in how i came up with the ending, scroll to the bottom of this post 🫡

⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️

cw: the fic is tagged with MCD and deals extensively with grief and mourning, however, !big ending spoiler!: everyone lives :)

the pov rule(s)

the pov could only ever be someone who could see ghost!tim. so ch1 and 2 are strictly tim and jason (and why we don't get jason pov until after he sees tim again). the first time we get dick's pov is after ghost!tim gets the bracelet that makes him visible to everyone!!

that being said, the reason why we don't get bruce pov until he's making the trade with tim is because i...i wanted bruce to look bad. listen, unreliable narrator is extremely important to me, okay? and the second we got bruce's pov we would see how he's actually doing vs how the boys were perceiving him and it would've ruined everything.

i wanted bruce to be incredibly frustrating, what can i say? it's relevant later, bookmark this for when i get to the Ending.

why touching hurt

okay i never found a convenient way to work this into the fic, but there is a reason why touching the ghosts was physically painful.

basically, interacting with the ghost of a loved one brings all of the grief they're feeling front and center.

this is why it hurts dick the most the night that tim dies, bc the grief is intensely fresh and raw. however, years later when he hugs ghost!tim it doesn't hurt as bad, although it still hurts a ton, bc he's had time to process his grief and heal in some ways.

this is why bruce seemed unaffected, bc he is wallowing in his grief on a regular basis but doing his best to function through it. he breaks when he's standing outside of jason's room bc he was already vulnerable in that moment and didn't have anything to cover with.

this is why it doesn't hurt jason when ghost!tim touches him, until after they've started the unwinding process.

jason and tim's relationship in this fic is very...unique. they don't mean anything to each other until after tim has died. his death wasn't really something that super affected jason for tim's sake- like he was mainly bummed for dick and bruce. and then, once jason comes back to life, tim is the same to him. ghost!tim is the only way he really knows tim. the way that ghost!jason feels about tim is very much so like, he's in Robin-mode and tim is a civilian-in-crisis.

and they trauma-bonded, but also they were only ghosts together for a month so like their relationship is this haphazard blend of intense vulnerability but still only kind-of knowing each other. plus like, ghost!jason is different than resurrected!jason and ghost!jason is who tim has a connection with- it's a mess, it's so fun. but anyways!!

jason isn't grieving tim's death until they start the unwinding process, bc for him, that is the moment that tim's death becomes real to him. and at that point, he's no longer just a civilian-in-crisis to jason- he's the last person jason promised himself he'd save and he's failing him.

the reason why touching hurts less over time, specifically prolonged contact, is bc it forces them to kind of sit with their grief and feel it and accept it rather than just shove it all down. in a way, it's helpful. extremely uncomfortable tho.

why alfred was in england

he functions too well as a buffer. i needed them to be forced to deal with each other and alfred being around gave them too many outs. also, after the trade, i didn't want dick to have anyone to lean on.

about dick

idk how many of you will agree with me, but i really think dick had it the absolute worst out of everyone. no lie, the whole thing that sparked this fic was stamp (@a-canceled-stamp, darling if you see this ilysm, and also you should def check out her fics if you haven't, cardboard box destroyed me) mentioning how much anguish dick would suffer if tim died, okay, so like dick having a Horrible Time was the origin and yet. seeing him struggle was...i was sitting there like "who could do this to him" as i typed merrily.

although!! fun fact!! the scene where dick and tim hug is one of two scenes that made my cry. it was not pretty. i get like really into the pov character's headspace when i write and so like i knew that the scene was going to be sad obviously, but holy fuck it hit me so hard. i tried to like give myself a second to cry and re-group, but the tears persisted so i had to just type and blink and power through. the scene was actually going to be a bit longer and more painful, but uh. i physically could not continue.

this dialogue exchange wrecked me, i tell you- wrecked me:

“I missed you so much.” He should really shut up now. “And I’m so sorry that I couldn’t save you. I know you said it wasn’t my fault, but it was, because if I was faster, or if I hadn’t left you alone, if I’d been the hero you thought I was-” “But you are.” “I failed you.” The words are sharper than stomach acid in his mouth. “No, you didn’t.” Tim says. He edges closer. “Without you, I would have died alone. But you saved me from that.”

omfg it's making me tear up again, help me. *scrolls so i can't see it*

i did bum myself out with that tho, bc ch 3 was bargaining and i lost a moment of bargaining bc of my weakness.

dick was supposed to plead with tim to stay, to put off moving on for even just a day. and tim was going to be like conflicted but say something like, "if you really want me to, i'll stay an extra day. for you." and dick would realize how much the request was hurting tim, even if he was willing to give dick what he wanted, and know, awfully, that even though he just got his brother back, if he loved him he had to let him go again.

which yk. ow. but ultimately, i do think it worked out for the best!! i think i was able to cover all that emotional anguish later.

fun parallel

cw: vomit/throwing up

so penance is a sequel, but bile is sweeter is 100% optional. however, if you did read bile is sweeter you might have noticed this fun callback:

Tim didn’t need to ask Jason which was worse anymore. The bitter taste of failure in his mouth made the bile sweet in comparison.

bile is sweeter

Sour and sharp, the leftover bile burns in his mouth. It’s still a sweeter flavor than failure.

penance, ch 5

now i point this out, not bc it's an easter egg (this post would be miles long if i was doing all that), but bc it's actually a really fun, depressing reversal. in the first fic, tim feels like a failure bc he knows he's dying. however, in the second, tim feels like a failure bc he's alive.

i was super hoping i'd be able to twist that, and it was super satisfying. honestly all the body horror with tim was incredibly fun- at the beginning when he's a ghost and in denial about it but can't help noticing all the things that are missing. this line in particular was really fun imo:

Tim crept closer, the terror in his chest building. It was such a quiet terror without his heart pounding. 

and then, hopefully, bc lacking a pulse/heartbeat had been reinforced as a trait of ghost!tim, i was able to immediately signal what the results of the trade were when ch 5 opens:

He can feel his heart beating in his chest.

which. opening ch 5 was a Challenge. i wanted it to be very in the moment and even though tim was alive, i didn't want there to be any sense of like relief or peace. i also didn't want to flat out say "Tim is alive and Bruce is dead!!", partially bc i knew people were expecting a twist, like even if i brought tim back i might've done a fake-out as far as who traded with him. i don't drag it out very much, and i don't think it's a surprise for anyone who wasn't guessing a fake-out. but that is also why the chapter opens the way it does- one by one you get a name, so you can confirm who's alive.

but back to the body horror!! tim having a hard time re-adjusting to being human again was so much fun to write. partially bc of like all the little details, all those small things about existing that you might not notice, but also bc all of those things were working together to remind tim that he was alive- which he was not happy about. like. everything was a trigger for the poor kid.

oh!! another really fun parallel/reversal, that i can explain now bc i explained why touching the ghosts hurt- ghost!jason is the one who has to explain to tim that he's dead, right? he's the one that helps tim figure that out and learn the ropes of being a ghost. and he's comfortable in that role. however, despite that, jason is the one that has the hardest time coming to terms with the fact that tim is not alive. this one makes me !!! because like if you notice, ghost!jason never actually says "You're dead" to tim. i mean, it is implied often and evident via context clues, but yeah!! like look:

“Am I…? I’m-” The word stuck in his throat. He tried to say it again and only succeeded in making that hollow feeling inside him expand. “Aren’t I?”  He stared at Jason helplessly. He understood what Tim was asking, didn’t he? Oh god, why had he asked him. He didn’t want to know.  Jason glanced away, blinked rapidly. Nodded.  “Yeah.” He moved as if to pull Tim towards him, then stopped himself. “You are.”

even in this moment, jason can't bring himself to like fully admit that tim is dead- neither of them say the word, partially bc they don't need to to know what they're talking about but also it's like a fun lil speck of foreshadowing that jason wil really struggle to grasp that the tim he knows is a dead kid.

which, if you're like, hey wait a minute cue, but jason knew that there was a second dead robin and it was part of what made him upset with bruce, sooooo. correct!! so the reason for this is bc of jason's memories getting all messed up. he doesn't super associate the ghost he knew to the robin that died after him, mainly bc he didn't think the ghost memories were real. his fury over the follow-up robin's death is more about the Principle of the Thing than 'you're actions lead to the death of someone i care about'. plus like, there is no robin when jason comes back to life- robin is someone who has died. but tim? tim is exactly like jason remembers him. so they just kind of exist as like separate entities for jason. which is-

don't get me started on the character's headspaces, okay, we will be here for hours. i was having the absolute time of my life working out their reactions and relationships fr

tim's memorial case (or really, the lack thereof)

remember how i said earlier i was going to cycle back to wanting bruce to look bad? well. obviously the lack of a memorial case was a big strike against him.

highlighting that particular detail was really fun, even if i felt manipulative af for it bc i knew that the only reason there wasn't a memorial case is bc it was too hard for dick to have that.

fun fact: within the scope of the fic rn, i don't think tim ever finds out about this? this gets revealed when dick and jason are fighting (gah also super fun) and in the whirlwind of shit that happens just does not get brought back up.

it's also one of those things that really emphasizes that to dick, bruce, and alfred, tim was dead. a couple things may have happened here and there that made their skin prickle, but overall they were just...grieving. they didn't suspect any ghosts. bc really, the lack of a memorial isn't that heinous- yes, it's hurtful to tim, but they have no way of knowing that. and to them, they know how much tim means to them and the different ways they carry his memory with them every day.

like, tim thought they didn't do anything on the anniversary of his death. he thought bruce went out like it was any other night. which just showcases how being geo-locked inhibited ghost!tim's awareness. like, he thinks he's omniscient to an extent when it comes to bruce and alfred, bc he's in the Manor- he sees them when they think they're alone. but he isn't with any of them 24/7, even if he is seeing them in situations he wouldn't have when he was alive.

truly so many misconceptions in this series- i love it sm.

the ending

look. there were a lot of ways i could have ended this fic. however, stamp had mentioned not really liking sad endings, and i took that as a personal challenge. how could i write this fic about grief, in all of it's messiness, and deliver an ending that felt tonally and thematically in line that wasn't sad? honestly? i had no clue. before i started writing the first chapter, i knew that i wanted everyone to live, but i had zero clue how i was going to achieve that.

now, in general, i do not plot. i had 5 scenes in mind when i started writing this fic, and none of them were in the last chapter. i started that last chapter blind. well. sort of. i had a sort of mental checklist- i knew i didn't want the end to feel like a cop-out or contrived, so i had these three things i wanted to establish before there was proper hope for bruce's return:

the boys could not save bruce

tim accepting the fact that he was wanted and loved

jason accepting them as his family

and even tho we do get bruce's pov before all of these get established, they do occur before bruce is offered the deal and there's like a tangible, in-story plausibility that he might live.

the only other thing i knew for certain was that bruce was going to have to choose his kids over his parents. but i didn't know how that was going to get set up.

when the shadow-spirit came onscreen, that's when i saw how bruce could get his loophole.

the shadow-spirit is a soul guide, it's whole entire job getting bruce to the Afterlife and it's super fed up with bruce bc he's not going. time isn't supposed to keep looping the way it is. it thought that by giving bruce his parents, the transition would be quick and easy and yet this one is struggling. it doesn't offer the deal to bruce out of kindness, but cruelty. it thinks it knows how to out-think and break bruce, and kind of wants to punish him for making its job so difficult.

fun fact about the shadow-spirit: it looks the way it does for two reasons- one bc i couldn't picture a person and decided to stop trying and two so that i could get this line:

The darkness rushes at him, consumes him.

which tickles me bc darkness is literally rushing at him, but also the metaphor?! so much fun.

i also needed bruce to get his memories back bc it was Very Important to me as the writer that bruce knew exactly what he was doing when he chose his sons/chose to live by letting go of his parents. bc in that moment, bruce is accepting the fact that they're gone and he can't save them, even if he wishes he could. which is such a big deal for bruce bc his grief over losing them motivates him sm.

but i truly believe that he loves his kids so fiercely that as much as he would want to choose the happy life he never got to have with his parents, he would give that all up if he got the chance to continue being their father. bc he knows what it's like to be a son and lose your parents. but it’s still a hard sacrifice for him. so hard.

bc his parents are the easy choice, yk? who would blame him, really. and the boys already think he’s dead and can’t be saved, and as we see, they’re a mess but they’re coming together. they would never know that bruce could have come back to them if bruce decided not to. and bruce would forget that he ever knew them, so he wouldn’t even have to mourn them. so it’s tempting.

which is why i think it’s so !!!!!!!! when he chooses his kids bc i think it’s like believable that he might not choose them. within the story, and also outside of it, bc readers trusted/expected me to be evil and last we saw the boys, things were rough but they were coming together.

the boys could heal. bruce could be free.

but that’s not the story i wanted to tell. it’s not about accepting death. it’s about accepting life.

this is also why you don't see how the trade with bruce and tim goes down until the very end- it wasn't just so i could leave things off on a cliffhanger. it was so i could end it on this sentence:

He accepts the trade.

yes, bc it reflects the title of the chapter, fun, but bc by accepting the trade, tim is accepting life. which in some ways, is still me making commentary about the grieving process, bc in my experience, one of the hardest parts is accepting that you yourself are still alive. you've got to find some way to keep going despite the loss.

but it's also me making commentary about superheroes and the genre, bc yk, they're typically pretty damn willing to die for others. they'll make that ultimate sacrifice. but in some ways, the harder sacrifice is not dying, is choosing to live and deal with the aftermath of tragedy.

the title

penance: voluntary self-punishment inflicted as an outward expression of repentance for having done wrong.

and that’s kind of what they’re all trying to do the whole fic, sacrifice themselves as punishment for their perceived mistakes and shortcomings.

but their basic premises are wrong. death is not their fault. they are not mistakes. there’s nothing they need to atone for. all they need to do is be there for each other.

anyways!! i think that's everything i can think of rn, shy of like dissecting the whole entire fic. if you read through all this (and/or the fic itself), tysm for entertaining my ramblings!!

[waywardsalt]

Your recent post about post-PH AU stuff got me curious: why would Linebeck not like Tetra? Is it something specific to the continuity with hum!Bellum or more of a common thread present across several/all your takes on Linebeck? It's an interesting idea that somehow never crossed my mind as a possibility, and iirc you haven't talked about it before, too.

i think it mostly boils down to him not taking kindly to having to interact with another captain, especially not one who used to have link on her crew and might encroach on his authority when the two crews work together. it's really just the most relevent to post-ph with bellum present, and bellum doesn't actually have too much of an influence on the way linebeck feels about her (bellum is the one who really hates her, he's a liiiiittle pissy that he never got to take all of her life force, and he never really spends the time with her to... not hate her at least a little).

i think there is a slightly through line between my aus of linebeck and tetra not being on good terms??? tetra isn't present in a ton of aus (usually not included if there's a big focus on just zelda), but i think in the ones where she does, their paths don't cross often. i know she's in the space au and the crimson king au, and i think linebeck has more or less the same feelings abt her (being that she's a little annoying but ultimately no someone he really pays attention to until she's actively causing problems or something) tetra tends to be more important with whatever link's got going on in aus. most of the time i just think linebeck and tetra generally aren't on good terms.

otherwise they just dont get along in my mind as captains who probably step on each other's feet a lot and maybe dont like each others crew much (i dont really think linebeck would be toooo fond of her crew either, and tetra is def going to feel some kind of animosity towards bellum even if he doesnt come clean abt his identity to her) and operate too differently

[unhingedlesbear]

Okay fuck it yeah I'm making the post idc abt backlash. First of all the hidden agenda fandom doesn't exist anymore so whos even gonna have an issue. But if you do feel called out um. Maybe thats ur problem idk bc I'm not aiming at anyone in particular here.

Anyway long ass ramble abt the tiny dead Hidden Agenda fandom below the cut

This is mainly something I noticed looking through the very limited amount of Hidden Agenda fics on ao3, but it's VERY obvious on there. The vast majority of fics on there are centered on Adam and Finn, which I can understand more since they have an interesting backstory and are well written characters, sure. But then you look at the others and the other characters that are centered are... Riggs and Calvary?

In the actual game ofc Becky and Felicity are the main characters. Both of them not only are pretty objectively interesting characters on their own, and even more so together. On top of this they have the most shipping potential of any two characters in that game, it's literally basically canon, it's not even subtext atp it's literally just text. NO other two characters have that amount of chemistry in the game, and yet there is a noticeable lack of gravey fics in that tag. And I'll stress again bc I know how defensive people got last time I made this kind of observation, I'm not pointing fingers or calling anyone misogynistic/racist/homophobic BUT. but. When the two mcs are women, one of which is poc, and they're implied to be lesbians, and they get sidelined by the fandom despite being the focuses of the game... it's kinda hard not to assume there's some kind of bias there.

And on another point, it's similar when it comes to supporting characters too. In a way I'm disappointed but absolutely not surprised that Adam/Finn is prioritized in fan works over Becky/Felicity, but when characters like Riggs and Calvary are also given more attention than them it becomes way more suspicious to me. Riggs is a fine character, I like him enough and I can see why others might like him more, but wbk he doesn't really have all that much relevance. Calvary is even more confusing bc he basically JUST exists to be a creepy misogynistic asshole and as unlikeable as possible. Thankfully I haven't seen him getting a lot of attention but the fact that I've seen him getting any that isn't entirely negative is... hm...

Now there ARE in fact male characters that can be both relevant and likeable: Tom and Karl. (I talk shit abt Karl bc it's a joke I started with friends, I'm gonna drop that for this post obv bc we're being fr here) these two are pretty obviously more relevant than Riggs or Calvary, they're literally Becky's partners (Tom can even replace Riggs' entire role lmao, and if he's replaced himself it's by Karl) and I'd say they're also both likeable characters on their own too. And yet I'm pretty sure I found maybe one??? fic with them in it? Probably should have mentioned this earlier but yeah, they're both poc.

So like... I feel like it all comes down to what Becky/Felicity/Tom/Karl have in common and then what Adam/Finn/Riggs/Calvary have in common. It strikes me as questionable. But like maybe I'm just an annoying snowflake though idk🤷‍♀️ /s

This turned into more of a ramble than anything and I'm aware i'm also yelling into a void bc I'm posting entirely for a dead fandom that barely existed to begin with, but tbh this stuff applies to most if not all larger fandoms as well, i'm just looking at it from what I've seen in the remnants of the HA fandom. Again I am not attacking anyone here, I am making observations. If you're like mad or something I'm just gonna assume you didn't even read the whole post. Yes ur allowed to like characters, but I am also allowed to address what I've noticed about what characters seem to be more liked than others.

[atopvisenyashill]

Since I can't seem to figure out how to repost your tags- I am going to say that Arthur Dayne didn't think Ned Stark would hurt baby Jon simply for the reason he was at the Tower of Joy instead of hightailing it to Starfall with baby and the wetnurse Wylla in tow. Once Jon was born, the need to stay at the tower was defunct. Lyanna dying or not, had bluntly served her purpose. The fate of Rhaenys and Aegon made it crystal clear that any one with dragon blood was in danger from the new regime. Doubly so for a child of Rhaegar and Lyanna. If Arthur was really concern about the baby rather than his own personal honor, his purpose would be to get on a fast ship to reunite with the exiled Targaryens or pulling a Jon Con and raising the baby himself in secret. But that isn't as neat a ending as dying in battle serving an oath to a dead man.

Oh yeah, I was kinda writing off the cuff there bc i’m very tired today lmao BUT

I have seen the main argument for a more sympathetic look at Arthur, Oswell, and Gerold is that they feared for Jon’s life, and likely had some sort of affection for Jon and Lyanna. That is something I can absolutely believe - like you said, the brutal murder of Rhaenys and Aegon is more than enough evidence that Jon is not safe in Westeros. I can certainly understand why, even with the best of intentions, the Kingsguard would be wary of Ned. Even if Ned holds no anger at Lyanna, he could hold plenty towards baby Jon or transfer his anger at Rhaegar to baby Jon. It’s a real risk in attempting to confront the man seen as the number two face of this rebellion with the son of his number one enemy.

But I think from the surrounding events, what most likely was happening was that Rhaegar did not take the rebllion nor his father’s madness as seriously as he should have until after the Sack (I know Jaime and Barristan mention Rhaegar planning beforehand to get rid of his father, but like, clearly it wasn’t that much of a priority considering he abandons whatever plans he made at Harrenhal to chase after, kidnap, and impregnate Lyanna while the realm burned around him SO!). IF he married Lyanna, it was likely after he found out Elia and their children had been murdered, and he was probably panicked over the situation in KL, his alliance with Dorne, and what this means for his prophecy (a far cry from the happy little scene we get in the show), and did it to legitimize what he thinks is baby Visenya as a sort of last resort, but did not ever believe he was going to lose the Battle of the Trident. We have no idea what information was getting to Rhaegar prior to Oswell coming to fetch him, and no idea what Oswell told Rhaegar, or if Rhaegar was even in a proper state of mind to comprehend it. When Rhaegar goes to fight Robert, for all we know, he has no earthly idea that he and his father have lost basically all of Westeros except Dorne and ONLY because of Elia. Personally, I think it’s likely that it’s not until he shows up to command the Dornish forces that he realizes just how fucked he is. The Kingsguard probably felt the same, and when they got word Rhaegar died, just fully gave up, condemning themselves, Lyanna, and maybe even the baby to death alongside their fallen Great King Who Should Have Been, Rhaegar.

Because otherwise, like, what are they even still doing at the tower. They wave off Rhaella and Viserys but if what they wanted was to actually protect the last of Rhaegar’s blood, they should have been trying to link up with Rhaella!! Feels pretty relevant that Rhaella know Rhaegar has another potential heir but they just sit around at the Tower instead for WEEKS after the Trident. It only seems nonsensical on the surface; Willem Darry had not yet given up, had two terrified, very small children suddenly in his care, and did his absolute best to try to take care of them. He has more honor in his pinky toe than either of the those three who saw a 16 year old and a newborn in dire need of help and went “rhaegar was wrong and there’s no use in trying anymore” and rolled over and died. Same for JonCon raising a child that is not his; what those two do is put the life of a child before any other intangible oaths or ideals, acting quickly and decisively under really stressful circumstances. Contrast to the Tower of Joy, where Lyanna doesn’t even have a Maester present to help deliver the baby.

So yeah, I do think it’s likely they worried Ned was a danger, and had some sort of fondness for Lyanna and baby Jon. Doesn’t mean they made the right decisions, or that their affection and fear ultimately mattered in the grand scheme of things. It’s tragic sure, but far more tragic is that they never turned to the dying teenager in their care and ask what her opinion was on how her final days should go.