#tID BOND

[clockwork-carstairs]

friendly reminder that the only thing will would’ve changed about his life was to have more jem in it

just going to go tear my hair out and sob violently into my hands :)

[sprolden]

parabatai are literally so insignificant in tmi and I know it's just bc the parabatai lore wasn't ever supposed to become as significant as it is now but it's kind of sending me regardless bc you're telling me that will and jem didn't even have to be doing all that?

[nolongercrimeandpunishment]

MHA 426

Since the official chapter is now out (at least where I live), I would like to appreciate one thing about this chapter.

The freaking translations omg

From Touya’s “The gang’s here. I ain’t some tourist attraction” to his broken and prob intentional mis spell, “I’m sory” to Natsuo’s “My gf and I are getting hitched”

Lmao, the fan translations were somber and on point, the official ones were just… in character.

[caterpillarinacave]

everyone take a moment to imagine tid/tlh easter egg hunts

[readwritealldayallnight]

(part of the Wife at First Sight series)

In Ghost’s eyes, the first time you smiled up at him was the moment you became his and his alone.

So what if everyone apart from you knew it?

Didn’t make it any less of a fact, as far as he was concerned.

Still though, he wanted to learn more about just who his pretty little wife was, including anything that might make letting you know about your marriage a little easier. And so like the good soldier he is, he goes about it as though it were a reconnaissance mission.

He asks you how you take your coffees and teas, holding his breath as he watches you take the first sip of whichever drink he’s made you that day, pride swelling in his chest when you tell him it’s perfect, even better than when you make it.

The first time he’d done so, your eyes widened in surprise when he put his large, gloved hands over yours where they were wrapped around the mug, leaning forward and bringing the rim to his lips where he took a sip for himself, eyes locked with yours. You were unsure of what to think or say, but he apparently decided for you that this was okay, returning the warm drink to your mouth where he encouraged you to take another sip.

You figured that it was alright, he did make the tea for you after all, right?

You even laughed when he started only serving you in a mug with ‘Mrs.’ printed across the side, certain that it hadn’t been in any of the common room’s cupboards before.

He eyes the book peeking out of your bag one morning as you tuck it away, purchasing his own copy the very same day, curious to know what you like reading. You’re pleasantly surprised, if not a tad confused, when you find the next two books in the trilogy sat atop your desk soon after, a small note written in chicken scratch lain on top reads ‘To : Wife’. He’ll make a point of commenting on the novel if he sees you holding it, slipping in tid bits of information to impress you show he’s read it as well, likes the same things you like.

He’ll joke about how the food on the dining hall is always subpar, trying to casually find out what you like eating, subtly pulling out his phone and typing anything new into his notes app where he’s been keeping track of all your likes and dislikes. He just wants to get things right with you, be good for you, prove he can be the husband you need. You’re already perfect in his eyes, his sweet little soulmate who just doesn’t know it yet.

Though this was the first military base you’d ever worked on, you couldn’t recall anyone having ever warned you about the way Lieutenants apparently like to haze the new hires, never mind the fact that everyone else was apparently in on it.

No one bats an eye when you go to take the empty seat next to him in a briefing, and he wraps his strong arms around you to instead plop you down onto his muscular thighs, carrying on with the task at hand as though this is perfectly normal and professional. Even the Captain hardly glances at the interaction, so you figure it’s okay, some strange form of team bonding?

Not a soul comments on the way the Lieutenant insists on being the one to cut up your food and feed you bites during meals in the dining hall, pretending as though they don’t hear him telling you about how “my wife works hard enough, don’t need to be liftin’ a finger wit’ me around, love.”

They know to move out of the way if you’re approaching a closed door, knowing if the Lieutenant is anywhere near, he’ll be rushing to open the door for you before you can even attempt to do it yourself.

Even Soap has stopped complaining aloud and only rolls his eyes when Ghost drops anything and everything he’s doing- whether it’s spotting the Sergeant in the gym, being out on a morning run, hell even being in the middle of a shower- to send you a good morning text at six o clock on the dot. Every. Single. Morning.

No, you never exactly anticipated this sort of a running gag from a hardened military base, but you’re not exactly complaining either.

Not when you find your heart fluttering every time your fake work husband dotes on you like he really would marry you at the drop of a hat.

Besides, it’s all just playful, innocent fun, right?

Especially when everyone begins to apparently forget your name and instead refers to you only as Mrs Riley.

And when the Captain tells you that your requested time off for a honeymoon has been approved, something which you definitely don’t remember requesting, well that’s all just fun too, right?

[tiredandoptimistic]

I am forever haunted by Nate and Tessa's fucked up and terrible sibling dynamic. Maybe it's just because I related to Tessa too hard when I was twelve and heard "this is her older sibling who's the coolest person in the world and reuniting with him is her number one priority" and went "yup, makes sense!" but his betrayal is genuinely one of the defining aspects of TID to me.

Sibling relationships are such an underexplored way to fuck somebody up in fiction, in my opinion. Nate has been the one constant in Tessa's life, and no matter how aware she was of his flaws that could never overrule the fact that he's her person. She trusts him on a fundamental level that she just can't experience with anyone else, and part of it is because of how fleeting all her other relationships have been, but a lot of it is just the fact that he's her brother and she's loved him for as long as she's been alive. More than that, she idolizes him. Her entire life crumbles around her when Aunt Harriet dies and she ends up held hostage by the Dark Sisters, but Nate is still there and perfect in her mind. He's her anchor when everything else goes insane; if she can just find her brother then things will be okay again. She's more able to handle her world being shattered by learning about the supernatural because all that magic shit is secondary to the fact that she needs to save Nate.

And then of course she does save him and he turns around to betray her. And again, it hits harder than any other betrayal possibly could because he's more important to her than anyone else could possibly be. By this point she's built up bonds with Will and Jem and the other people at the Institute, and eventually they all become woven into her being, but not when she's sixteen and has known them for a week.

Looking at it from Nate's perspective, the thing that's always fucks me up is the way he tries to convince himself that he sees Tessa as a monster. He's genuinely just a shitty enough person that he set his sister up to be a child bride for a mass murderer because of the payout, but he can't handle thinking of it that way so he clings to this idea that Tessa isn't really his sister, isn't really human. And while yes, that's biologically true (they're not even technically related to each other), it doesn't change the fact that they're siblings in every way that matters. She'll always be his little Tessie, even if he doesn't want to admit it, doesn't want to let himself be the villain in this situation. He does the same thing with Harriet, arguing that she deserved to die because of all her lies because otherwise he would need to admit that he killed his mother out of pure selfishness.

Nate isn't the most evil guy in the world, but he is greedy and allergic to principles. It's so much worse than if he never loved Tessa, because he does love her till the very end and that love just isn't enough to override the allure of wealth and power. That's always the most painful type of relationship to me; the one where a person has just enough good to make it impossible to unequivicobly hate them.

Maybe Will could just write Nate off as a terrible person, but Tessa will always know every detail of his best and kindest moments. I have to believe that he haunts Tessa for the rest of her immortal existence, this knowledge that the person who made her life worth living for the first sixteen years was the one to sell her out. All the pain in the world isn't enough to erase that bond; she'll always have to live with the memory of him dying in her arms, the knowledge that his goodness and love was just as genuine as his duplicity.

Yeah this ended up being a lot longer than I intended, I just have a lot of feelings about the Gray siblings. Nate wasn't a part of the world where Tessa eventually found a home, she'll never have anyone else who understands the knot of emotions surrounding him. She can get sympathy but never empathy. Yes the rest of the TID crew are aware of him, but they barely met him and she outlived all of them too. Nate's so lost in her past, I bet that most people don't even realize that she used to have a brother, that she grew up as a sister, as half of a set. She carries the Gray name forward through her immortal life, and nobody else knows about the family that used to share it. She's still got Jem and Magnus who have been her friends since she was a teenager, who keep the memory of Will and the others alive; but no one else was there for her childhood.

I'm not quite sure how to end this, I'm just feeling emotions about Tessa Gray on this fine Tuesday and felt like sharing them.

[thedeathwitchescats]

Okay, review time!! If you are one of the oddballs who thinks you cant be critical of something you love I suggest you stop reading now before I ruffle your feathers. Iron flame, second in the empyrean series. I am gonna start with what I was not a fan of and then go into the shit I adored.

1) what in the actual fuck was the pacing of this book?? I can tell you what, it was non existent. There was none. Where I thought there was a lot of filler in the last book there was none in this one. We got snap shots of conversations and then *boom* more plot flew at you. The timeline of this book greatly suffered for it i think bc we end only a couple weeks, if that, after threshing, which happens sometimes in October. This book was actually so wild with times.

2) while it was a spectacular cliff hanger, xaden becoming venin pisses me off. Especially if Rebecca yarros isnt going to have him tell violet. Like if that small tid bit of a conversation we got wasnt him telling vi that he was venin then the entire romantic conflict of this book was rendered pointless and their going to be having the same fucking fight for the rest of the series and at rhat point I give up.

3) I understand that the revolution is trying to take down basgaith and make the world better or whatever the fuck but can someone actually formulate a real plan for me?? Because I feel like their mission is just, giving violet and xaden something to be pissed at each other about.

4) the entirety of cats character. I get that she was set up as a spin on the typical jealous ex. Like having her be bitter about xaden picking violet over her but OH WAIT it wasnt actually about the man it was about the crown, oohh not like other girls. Im a writer too I see the point. I dont care. I think it was trashy. If you wanted her to be a bitter spiteful ex then have her be a bitter spiteful ex, the whole crown thing was shallow.

OKAY haters your time is up now onto the shit that made my heart hurt with joy and sadness

1) xadens arc in this book. I really liked that he went from "transparency is never gonna happen" to losing his fucking mind over violet and giving her everything. I love feral men and he qualifies. I think his arc was really well done and i liked it.

2) I appericiate that violet stuck to her guns for this book. She wouldnt let xaden off without a fight and I loved that. She made him bow and scrape and I was eating it up. It was spectacular.

3) the throne room scene. Violet on the throne. "Im making a temporary point not a lasting vow of maschocism" xaden being feral.

4) that gets its own point actually, just xaden being completely feral this entire book healed a part of my soul.

5) andarna's little speech at the end where she was like "I waited for you violet" made me ugly cry. That was just so hopelessly good I loved it. Andarna in general heals my heart but that part was just *chefs kiss*

6) tarin being completely and utterly ready to eat people this entire book. Just, at every turn "I want lunch their pissing me off " was spectacular

7) every scene their squad was in. Rihannon, violet, sawyer and ridoc are my roman empire. Their bond is so amazing. The fact that they launched a rescue mission for violet. Rihannon being ready to kill xaden at every turn. Ridoc being so platonically and adorably in love with violet. Just- augh happy cries happy cries. I love it all. Their so special tbh.

8) I love xaden actually, just, the whole book every scene hes in lives in my brain.

9) I liked that we saw a small bit of violet being feral this book too. I hope that we get more of that in future books. I want more of violet losing her fucking mind. Hot, badass women covered in blood

10) Liam. Fucking Liam. When violet was kidnapped and Liam was there. Now, do I logically understand that he was a hallucination, yes, do i care?? No. He was a gift from Maleck I will be hearing no critiques on that. It was so fucking sweet and amazing. I love violet and Liam and Liam being dead so horribly breaks my heart. I loved Liam. Liams death lives rent free in my skull.

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

HIIII do you have anymore tid bits for you au.... (share all of them. go ham. I LOVE IT SO MUCH)

So many. SO MANY!!

— After Ford gets his body back, Bill makes excuses to himself to watch over Dipper and Mabel when they’re dreaming, and interjects if they have any nightmares. This is definitely important to his evil plans, okay.

— McGucket definitely knows something is wrong with Stanfraud, and makes a scene whenever he sees him, claiming him to be the ‘devil in disguise’, or ‘the beast with one eye’. When Dipper and Mabel ask about it, Bill brushes it off as McGucket’s memory loss making him recall their fallout as worse than it was.

— Bill was roped into helping Stan teach Soos boxing when he was younger. He thought it was stupid at the time, but Stan wasn’t taking no for an answer. Soos still appreciates both of them for it, and Bill doesn’t mind the kid as much anymore. He’s smarter than he looks. He just has to put his mind to it.

— Bill actually likes stargazing. Stan’s surprised when he first catches Bill on the roof doing it, and Bill gets defensive when Stan pushes him on the matter, but he doesn’t exactly hate the company. When he’s left alone with his thoughts and the stars, his mind goes to a place that’s too dark, even for him. So, sometimes he and Stan will grab a drink — usually beer for Stan and some barely drinkable cocktails for Bill — and they’ll watch the stars. When Mabel finds out about it, she joins him. It’s one of the few places that he seems a lot… calmer. Not by a lot, mind you, but it’s noticeable enough for Bill.

— During Headhunters, there’s a lot of conflict between Stan and Bill. Bill thinks it’s weird how Stan is treating the wax figure, that just because he can’t pretend Bill is Ford, doesn’t mean he has to go speaking to a lump of wax. He has a lot of uncomfortable feelings surrounding Ford as is, ones he prefers to bury deep in the back of his mind, and this whole funeral deal, Stan’s genuine grief, it’s really putting a damper on his mood. Plus, he may be a little bit jealous. And maybe, just maybe, a bit concerned. I don’t have the details figured out yet, but I know for a fact they get into an argument over it, and the subject of Ford comes up again — no more avoiding it.

— Stan and Bill are banned from one of the town’s main bars for life. Why? That’s between them and the raccoon.

— I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but Bill actually dyed his, or, well, Ford’s hair brown, though he’s pretty bad at keeping on top of that so the grey roots tend to be showing.

— Dipper Vs Manliness actually has a small bonding moment between Bill and Dipper, where Bill essentially deconstructs gender and also tries to boost Dipper’s confidence, in his own Bill way.

He’s a strangely good influence in general when it comes to masculinity and gender and what not, being as he doesn’t conform to any human expectation. And he would absolutely sing Disco Girl with Dipper too. He loves that song, bitter memories be damned. Why would he let Sixer kill his groove.

And I shall leave it at that for now! If you’d like anymore tidbits I’m always keeping a thousand up my sleeves! And if you’d like any about specific characters, let me know!

[kairiscorner]

Hii, can I request Miguel with sunshine reader, who actually struggles a lot mentally? Like they are kind, friendly and very playful with pretty much everyone, but they find it difficult to open up about their constant feeling of loneliness and emptiness. And so Miguel sees them at the moment when all their facade is gone.

No pressure ofc, feel free to deny it if you don't feel like doing it🌿

HIII ANON, omg i love this idea SO MUCH, i hope i did this justice :') but here you gooooo

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

summary: miguel o'hara could never fully comprehend someone of your caliber; you were just too much for him. you were loud, playful, open, and kind; he thought you were that simple. but when he caught you one day after a mission, seeing you in a light he never thought he could see you in... he realized there was much more to you than you were letting on.

warnings: mentions of self-deprecation (this is an angst, for the most part)

word count: 2,655

miguel couldn't wrap his head around you at first, around you and your psyche, around you and just how consistently tenderhearted and amiable you were towards everyone in the spider society. when he first sought you out, he thought you were the same as him; shattered, isolated, and dissociative from people to protect not only them, but yourself. but oh, was he wrong. he knew your background very well, he knew you suffered many tragedies in your life, be it as a spider person or as a person of your own, you had too much happen to you all at once.

he sympathized with you in many ways, but he knew someone of your aptitude would be remarkable help in his elite force. the first time he met you, however, he was greeted with a completely subverted image of the spider person he expected you to be. you were warm, friendly, sweet, and open.

you were a little shy and anxious around him at first, and he couldn't blame you. it was your first time meeting someone like you, but you were so enthusiastic about meeting him and the prospect of meeting so many other spider people just like you that you couldn't sit or stand still at the thought of meeting them all.

miguel asked himself at first why you seemed so trusting, so eager to meet people when he heard how well people in your life have hurt you in the past. he didn't know the specifics of it because he was busy recruiting other spider people and monitoring other universes, but he knew of the events in your life, at least short, important tid bits of them; and he had never felt more sympathy for anyone else in his life until you came along.

when you were first initiated into the spider society, miguel was a little taken aback at how easy it was for you to make friends. you had a lot of people to talk to, bond with, and impress already, and they loved you!

every single one of them was captivated by how charming you were, how generous you were of your time and services, and how quick you were on your feet to offer yourself to join some of the spider folks on missions, or even just run errands so they wouldn't have to do it alone.

you were, in the truest sense possible, an angel. the spider society loved you, they all believed you could do no wrong. you were always up for helping other people and ensuring their safety and comfort. though sometimes you'd go overboard and not hesitate to sacrifice your own safety and comfort for them, you'd tell them it's okay, you'd willingly go above and beyond for the people you care about.

you kept telling yourself it was okay to lose yourself for other people.

you kept telling yourself it didn't matter, so long it was just you and not them.

that's how your world revolved, right? people came and went as they pleased, you did your best, your everything to keep them, and you'd do it all again in a heartbeat if it'd meant they'd stay. you wished they'd stay if what you had to do was carry their burdens and misfortunes. you were strong, capable, and durable; you convinced yourself you could take it. you saved your city before, time and time again--even if you were battered, bruised, bloodied and thankless in the end, you smiled regardless and were willing to do it all over again.

"don't worry about me, i'm your friendly neighborhood spider person! i'm built for this stuff, i've got you." "oh, no! i'll take care of that for you, i'd rather you rest. let me take care of it, i've got you." "i'll take care of this! you guys do your own thing, i'll do this. ...because i've got you."

endlessly, those three words: "i've got you" is ingrained in miguel's head. he's not exactly tired of hearing it, he's impressed on how keen you are to be useful and pick up your own slack plus others' work. he does think you're a bit of a pushover for that, though, which he is a little disappointed with, but nothing he can do to force you out of that trait of yours.

he does wish you'd say no or stand your ground whenever you were uncomfortable with something, but then again, like all great pretenders, you took every favor and request with a smile and a pep in your step. it was like you wanted everyone to know you live to serve, that you wanted nothing but to be useful to everyone, even if it put a strain on you.

however, when you and your team came back from a mission with significantly more injured spiders than usual, instead of being greeted with your concerned yet reassuring self that'd rush to the side of the injured spiders, you ran away when you got back to HQ, leaving them behind as you looked away in what appeared to be... unbridled shame.

miguel weaved his way through the small crowd that gathered around the injured spider people when he was told they'd all be out of commission for a while, but otherwise, do okay; he had to find you, because he had a feeling something was off about you, something must've happened.

miguel wordlessly searched for you, thinking that if he called out for you, you'd run away and hide even more. not long after, he heard soft sobs and whimpering by a nearby broom closet. miguel halted in his tracks and moved closer to the door. his expression softened and became one of genuine worry, but he still remained his composure as he realized that voice that was choking up tears and sobbing was yours.

he knocked on the door of the broom closet, and soon, the sobbing stopped for a minute. "...do you want to talk?" miguel asked you after that moment of pure silence. you didn't respond for a little while, but you gave in and slowly opened the door, your eyes and nose puffy and red; your lip quivering at the corners--you really weren't okay, and this was a rare sight to behold.

miguel's expression soon cracked into one of worry. he instinctively moved toward you a step closer, but held back in fear of you sobbing again. "what happened?" he asked you in a gentle voice, a voice that promised he wouldn't judge you for whatever answer you give him, because miguel always had that feeling: there were a million unsaid things that were so, so wrong; but you never uttered a word about it, nor cried a plea for any help, and kept all your feelings locked away behind your insincere, forced smile.

you looked down, not wanting to make eye contact with miguel... or anyone, for that matter. you tried to shake your head, deny anything was wrong, but not this time. you had betrayed yourself, your own feelings, wants, and needs for the longest time that they all just came spilling out and being released from you in a much needed sob.

you could feel yourself tearing up again, and you tried to fight it, but miguel shook his head and put his hands on your shoulders. "no. stop it." he said in a concerned yet stern voice as he gazed at you and your glassy eyes, keeping your tears in the best you could. "stop holding it in. please. i know you want to see everyone happy, i know you don't want things to go wrong anymore, but please... don't keep your feelings bottled up. it does you more harm than good." he uttered softly as his grip on you tightened a little.

you heard it. finally, you heard it. those words that you longed to hear, in the many years you've been hurt, lied to, and abandoned by people you loved and cared about; you finally heard permission to cry, to be vulnerable, to be weak for a moment. you finally had a moment of respite from all the pretending you were sick of doing.

in a moment, you went from being composed, yet red and puffed up in the eyes and nose, to a full on sobbing mess in front of miguel. he let go of you when you started sobbing, but you held on to him as you cried. he took that as a sign that you didn't mind him holding you as you cried, you never had that luxury before anyway, being held as you cried, letting go of everything you've been holding for the longest time.

it was relieving, it was soothing, but it was painful. it was a remedy for your wounded emotions, crying your heart out as miguel held you. you knew you might get sick afterwards, crying so hard your heart might break, but miguel pat your back--albeit a little awkwardly--and whispered words of encouragement to let it out, let it all out.

"i hurt them..." you muttered through your sobs. "i told them i had it, i thought i had it, i thought i could take out the villain all on my own." you murmured as your sniffling continued. "i didn't want them to get hurt, really, i promise... but i took one wrong step, and–" you choked out as you cried even more as miguel shushed you and told you it was okay to let it out.

"i... just... i just don't want–don't want to be left alone anymore... i don't want to be hated, i don't want to be talked bad about behind my back; i want to feel like i belong." you whispered as your crying slowly stopped to let you breathe for a bit, taking in a ragged breath as you leaned against miguel, exhausted after letting out exactly what you felt and held in, all this time.

"you're... so very brave." he murmured as your sobs drowned out what he was saying. he didn't raise his voice at you, and especially not when you were in this state. "but so, so foolish." he remarked as he looked down at you, still sobbing. he sighed as he put a hand on your chin and angled your head to look up at him, the softness in his face ever so present as yours became redder and puffier.

"you're amazing, you can do anything and everything asked of you, and everyone loves you for that. and yet, you can't seem to give yourself a break. you're... you're forcing yourself to become someone you don't want to be." he says in a soft voice. "...i might just be doing that." you say as the realization of what you've been doing to yourself dawned on you.

miguel pulled away from you a little and ran a hand through his hair, still looking at you, but thinking of what to tell you. "if you're scared of them rejecting you for showing weakness or this... vulnerable side of you, don't be. i've worked with many of these people for years, some i've only met recently, but all of them–all of the people here love you." he told you as he watched you wipe the tears from your eyes, still sniffling. "every single one of them, they all have something nice to say about you. but we're all concerned for you," he said as he took your hand in his.

"you're constantly taking their burdens upon yourself. you don't think they realize that? they appreciate you, so, so much; but they want you to stop and think about yourself first." he tried getting his words through to you in a pleading voice. "we're a team. you don't have to go through this alone. and, really..." he said as he rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand, staring down at how much smaller, more vulnerable you were compared to him. "...i wanted to be the one to keep you from falling apart and letting yourself forget who you really are. i know i knew you for, what, a few months? but even before that, before you joined us, before you are who are now, i've seen how you are, how you act--and i've been informed of... tribulations you've gone through, things you keep hidden underneath the surface. you've been through too much for one to bear all alone."

you look up at miguel, and for the first time, you feel something new; you feel as though, despite the troubles you've gone through, the troubles you sometimes inflict upon yourself, you do have someone looking out for you. and it's always been him, ever since the beginning.

"and because... i know what it's like. i know what it's like to have to mask yourself so nobody gets worried about you, so no one thinks you're easy pickings... so you don't hurt or get hurt anymore..." miguel continued as his voice got softer. he took a breath in, and letting it out in an exhausted sigh, as if he, too, were also sick of hiding exactly how he felt and who he was. "it's the things we keep hidden that always show." he said as he looked at your eyes. "but don't... don't be scared to show it. and if not the others... you have me." he said softly, slowly reeling back from you, letting go of your hand gently and widening his eyes as he realized what he was saying. a silence befell you two as you stared at him, in wonder, at this side of miguel; this side he was hiding that he soon showed, that he soon brought to light in front of you.

"can you do something for me?" miguel asked as he broke the silence, looking into your swollen eyes. "please promise me that when you say 'i've got this'... remind yourself that i've got you. i'm right here for you to call, any time you need me." he said with a small smile as he wiped the tears from your eyes. "do you promise me?" he asked you as you slowly nodded, with his hand lowering down to your cheeks and resting there. "i promise. i... got this. i've got you." you said with a small smile. he returned the smile with one of his own. "you've got me." he said as he rubbed your cheek softly.

and as miguel were about to pull away, you wrapped your arms around him, your bright, signature smile returning to your face. your eyes were still puffy and swollen, but they shone, even in the dim light of this tiny broom closet. "thank you, miguel." you thanked him before he could leave, your arms tightening around his waist as you held him close, not wanting to let him go. it wasn't out of fear that you didn't want to let him go, you wanted to let him feel just how much he's saved you from yourself, how good it felt to be told those words for the first time in a long, long while.

miguel was shaken at first when you held him, he... hadn't been held that way in... ever. he didn't know what to do in the beginning, he wasn't sure when you'd pull away, but as the embrace prolonged, he found himself wishing you wouldn't pull away. he soon brought his arms up, then, he brought them close to your back, still hovering his arms in the air awkwardly as you leaned into the hug.

then, in one final swoop, he took the plunge and embraced you back; and miguel had never felt a happier silence than that, embracing you, who finally let yourself show how you truly felt, and how, even if you were scared of being abandoned again, being left alone... miguel was not one of those people for you to fear would leave.

not now, not ever.

a/n: NERIJOBFIURBIUBRIBVVBBNE NGL I FEEL LIKE I KINDA DRAGGED THIS OUT AND DIDN'T EXPRESS EVERYTHING I WANTED TO SAY, BUT THIS AAAAAAAAAA I'M CRYINGGGGG

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @luvstarrstruck

[crazyk-imagine]

Flickering Lights and Bonding

Pairing: Paul Lahote x Enhanced!reader

Characters: Enhanced!reader, Paul Lahote, Sam Uley, Emily Young, Jacob Black, Seth Clearwater, Embry Call, Quil Atera V, Jared Cameron, Brady Fuller, Collin Littlesea, Reader's sister (briefly mentioned), Unnamed Aunt (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, this is cute, Paul will submit to his queen, he is absolutely infatuated with the reader, the reader still loves him but doesn't want to admit it, two idiots in love, reader tries to push him away but he ain't budging, there's an ending to the ending, this was cute, I love him, I'm fine, paul be acting like paul, he's lowkey a whiney boy, hehe get it, paul is soo protective, the boys are idiots, the pack is literally a mosh of crackheads, literally these boys i swear, our not so dicky boss is hilarious

Word Count: 4,060

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They glance down and find you've passed out against her.

He smiles, watching as you lay there relaxed and not upset with him.

"You've always loved her, haven't you?"

He nods, "yeah."

She smiles. "I'm happy you found your future in her, you're the only one worthy of her time."

He scoffs. "That's not how I see it."

"She's been through a lot."

He grunts, she doesn't know if he agrees with her or not.

"It's not my place to tell you but you need background information in order to fix your bond with her." She sighs, "her sister hasn't called in a few weeks because of their aunt, and she's been... losing herself."

"Losing herself."

Emily nods, "she's been depressed because of it, not to mention the fact that it’s their anniversary."

"Who's?"

She furrows her brows, "what do you mean?"

"Who's anniversary?"

"Were you not there for the funeral?"

He straightens his posture, shocked at the tid bit of information she shared. "There was a funeral?"

She sighs, realizing she's shared too much. "You do know her parents are gone, right? That's why she's been hanging out with Sam and I more."

His jaw drops, "she- when- what happened?"

She shrugs, "the only thing I could find out was that they were in an accident and didn't come home for the girls."

"When?"

She hums, thinking back to a different time. "A few years ago, you two were in sixth grade, I think."

"Why didn't she tell me?" He glances at you.

"It happened just a few months after you gave her a new nickname."

"I said that was an accident."

"Yeah, just like you always having feelings for her was fate planning on making her to be your imprint."

"I- how has she been here?"

She understands he's referring to the house and likes the fact that he's trying to look out for you and rekindle your relationship.

She's been worried since her world changed with the whole imprint and shifter situation came into play but now, she can ease up just a smidge since he's imprinted on you.

“She’s been in the house for a few years now and it’s been hard. Since you guys shifted, our relationship became a little strained and since you imprinted on her, I can imagine she won’t be too happy with what I tell you.”

He wants to ask but can see with the way she’s talking; he should just shut up.

“Has it ever seemed strange that the lights go out when she’s upset?”

He furrows his brows, “I mean, sure but I’ve never really-”

“She’s different.”

He pauses.

“The only reason I’m telling you is because I want you to understand why we’re here and not at mine and Sam’s. Since her parents passed and their aunt took her sister to California, she’s been upset.”

He nods.

“Which makes sense because it was a hard thing for her to go through, but it’s amplified some things.”

“Things? What kind of things?”

“Her parents were waiting to tell her when she got older,” she sighs.

“Emily.”

She turns to look at the lost shifter.

“What did they want to tell her?”

She takes a deep breath, “she has abilities.”

His brows rise causing his forehead to crease. “Like our abilities?”

She shakes her head, “no but they are tied to her emotions, kind of like how your guys are.”

She hums, “it is starting to sound like she’s a shifter but she’s not. She has energetic abilities that cause me to have a stock of light bulbs in the house.”

“She blows up the lights?”

Emily nods, “yeah, and now that you’ve imprinted, her emotions are more out of control.”

“How does this help me?”

“You’re going to apologize and make amends before trying to make a bond because I know you can help her.”

“How do I do that when she won’t even talk to me?”

“You say you’re sorry, leave a note saying the same thing. Slowly build to it until she talks to you.”

“Isn’t that considered harassment?”

She scoffs through her nose. “Paul, you want her to in your life, right?”

He nods.

“Listen to me.” She glances down at your calm, sleeping figure. “I’m speaking from experience.”

He smiles watching over you.

She glances over at him and can't help but wonder- “Don’t you have patrol?”

He lifts his head, his fondness for you falls. “Sam made me come here.”

She smirks, “you wouldn’t stop thinking about her?”

“I don’t want to get into this right now.” He pushes himself off the couch, searching through your pantries for food, finding a few items to call snacks.

He makes a mental note to buy you some groceries.

By the time he returns to the couch, Emily’s fallen asleep.

He lifts the blanket over you, not wanting you to be cold since he knows you wouldn’t appreciate him being close to you.

He sighs, closing his eyes, wondering how everything went wrong between the two of you and how long you’ve been struggling.

His mind becomes more silent; head feeling heavy, unable to support it anymore as he falls asleep.

-

You awake the next day and find him curled up with an inch of space between you two.

You gulp, staring at him, wondering how it would be if you two were still friends.

You reach out to move his hair the way he like(d) it and stop yourself. You push yourself off the couch and search for the bathroom.

-

Paul opens his eyes, watching as your body disappears around the corner of the couch.

He pushes himself up, sighing as he rubs his hands across his face.

“I’m leaving, fix this before it hurts the both of you.”

He rolls his eyes at Emily’s words.

“I’m leaving so breakfast will be ready for the boys before they get too hungry,” she shouts.

-

You lean over the bathroom sink, keeping your eyes closed. “Okay!”

You pray he left with her, you don’t know how you’d be able to face him.

Why did you have to stay?

-

You knew you should have left earlier but you couldn’t bear to leave after seeing her puppy dog eyes, which you thought was ironic for her being a shifter’s imprint.

She suckered you into staying with one of her infamous home cooked meals, something you could never get over.

“How’s work?”

You stir the mix with a little more vigor than you should have. “Fine, work is work.”

“Care to explain more about that?”

You shake your head, “nope. Everyone is still an idiot, my manager is still a dick, and I am still struggling to pay bills. Need I go on?”

She sighs, “okay, I get it. But remember if you ever-”

“Need anything just ask. Sam and I can take care of you.” She smiles, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “And it’s true.”

After putting the treats in the oven, you run out to Emily’s truck realizing you left the new baking pans you bought earlier.

You search the bed of the truck and find nothing, realizing that you left them in the back seat.

You close the door and walk back towards their place, pausing when you see the group of boys making their way out of the edge of the woods.

A few of the younger ones were playfully pushing the others back and forth.

Your heart stops when you notice him.

He’s laughing and shoving a couple of his buddies away from himself.

Brady looks away when he almost trips over his feet and looks up, catching your gaze.

He starts waving like a mad man, calling out your name.

You suck your bottom lip in, biting the skin where your lip and inner mouth meet.

His head snaps up, finding your gaze and that’s when it happens. Brady and Quil run towards you.

They always love having you around, not to mention the fact that you’re the nicest person they ever met.

“Hey, we didn’t know you’d be here today,” Brady starts.

“We’re happy you’re here,” Quil adds.

You blink and remove your gaze from Paul’s.

“Are you and Emily cooking?” The shorter of the two asks.

“We are.”

They glance at one another and smile, they always love coming over when you’re there; now you may love Emily’s food but the boys love when you two cook together, nothing can top it (sometimes not even their own mother’s food).

Brady takes the bag out of your hands as he and Quil head back into the place.

Emily smiles at the sight of them, happy to know the boys and her cousins are back safe and sound.

“What happened?” She asks, noticing the paleness in your face.

The door opens and the others walk in.

“I need to go outside.”

She furrows her brows, knowing you only go out there when you need a break and don’t want to blow up any of her light bulbs.

You brush past the others, not even looking to see if he’s with them.

“What happened?” You faintly heard her ask, too into your thoughts to hear Jared answer her.

-

He knocks on the door when your heartbeat quickens. “Hey.”

You flinch, not expecting him to still be here.

The light flickers.

“You okay?”

“Go away.”

"You know I won't leave."

"You're worse than a dog."

"I’m not and I’m not leaving till I know you’re okay.”

“Paul,” you sigh, opening the door. “Don’t you have wolf things to do.”

“I can do them later. I want to talk.”

You enter the kitchen, rifling through the fridge and pantry, finding no items that could go together for a meal. “Yeah, well. I don’t, sound familiar?”

“How many times do I need to tell you I’m sorry?”

“Not anymore because I’m over it. I just can’t wrap my mind around why you want to talk so badly.”

“You know exactly why.”

You whirl around, staring into his eyes. “You’ve never once wanted to talk about your feelings or anything important for that matter or even bow down to someone since- ever since I met you and now all of a sudden you’re mister therapist, I don’t think so.”

You spin around and head towards the sink, cleaning the dishes you didn’t do yesterday.

Bone cracking comes from behind you, and you spin around to see him on his knees, staring up at you like he’s losing a battle and can’t win.

You turn off the water and wipe your hands on the dish towel near the sink. “Get up.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “You’re right. I don’t talk about… emotions or stuff like that and I’ve never once given anyone the opportunity to talk about something serious with me. I’ve never come down to their level so I’m doing it now.”

You gulp, stepping closer. “Get up.”

He doesn’t move.

You sigh and shake his shoulders, “get off the ground and go home.”

He reaches for you, wanting to hold whatever part of you he can; holding you close by the back of your thighs.

Your hands move, cupping his face, giving you the unfortunate opportunity to stare into his eyes; the same ones you always knew you could count on because he’d never let anything happen to you.

You grit your teeth, muttering under your breath. “Stupid imprint bond.”

The corners of his lips twitch.

“Don’t smile you, butthead.”

“I’m your, butthead.”

You thin your lips, trying to figure out how this is going to work. “I’m not letting you in right away. You got lucky coming over last night.”

He nods, grip slightly tightening. “I won’t push you.”

“Yeah, or else Emily will be on your ass.”

He pulls you closer, bury his face into your stomach; hugging you before letting go.

“You need to go before Sam comes looking for you.”

“I know.”

You can see hesitation in his body posture. “What?”

“Can I come by later?”

You blink once. “Why?”

“I want us to start over where we should have grown up.”

You raise a brow. “How do you expect that to happen?”

“Leave it up to me.” He smirks at you before groaning due to the pack link. “I have to go before Jared barges in. I’ll see you later,” he pecks your cheek before running out the door.

You stand there for a few seconds before raising your hand to touch your cheek, tracing along where he kissed you, swearing you feel a tingling sensation.

-

You avoid talking to Emily and Paul for the rest of the day, barely able to avoid the other pack members as Jared, Brady, Seth, and Embry walk into the diner.

You take a deep breath before heading over to their table. “What are we having today boys?”

They glance around at one another.

“The usual,” Embry answers.

“With a side of stupid imprint bond,” Seth jokes before pausing when he realizes it wasn’t the time to joke like that. “I wasn’t supposed to say that, was I?”

Brady smacks the back of his head. “No, you dufus.”

He whines and smacks the boy.

Jared pulls them apart before you could kick them out. “We were hungry and wanted to stop by.”

“Emily’s been trying to call you,” Embry tells you.

“I’ll call later.” You head towards the back, taking deep breaths to stop the lights from flickering.

-

The boys’ glance at one another, sensing they should tell Emily… maybe even Paul.

“Should we-” Seth starts.

Embry and Jared shake their heads.

“I mean, it’s not like we can hide this any longer,” Brady adds.

“What do you mean?” The youngest asks.

The older three boys' glance at one another.

“Paul already knows and is on his way now,” Jared tells him.

“Oh, right the bond.” Seth’s cheeks flush, “does that mean, you guys can see everything?”

They send him teasing smirks.

“You mean, can we see if you play with-”

Jared shoves Brady. “Shut up, man. No, Seth. We haven’t seen anything like that.”

“But remember, we always can,” Embry adds.

-

You hold their plates, “you four need to calm down or make these to go orders.”

“We’re calm,” Jared and Brady told you at the same time.

You narrow your eyes to them. “I’m holding you boys to it; I don’t want to have to work another double because of you.”

“You worked more because of these idiots?”

Your shoulders tense at the voice of the one person you didn’t want to talk to yet.

“We didn’t mean for it to happen,” Embry starts.

“But it just-”

Paul stops Jared from saying anymore. “If you say it just happened, I’m making you take over my shift tonight.”

“But it did.”

“Yeah, you’re taking tonight’s shift.”

You place their plates and aim to head towards the counter when a warm hand on your wrist stops you.

“When do you get off work?”

You glance back towards the kitchen, finding your boss staring at you. “I have a couple more hours until I’m done.”

You turn towards the other members, “you boys enjoy your meal.”

You walk away, expecting Paul to sit down and not follow you.

“Have you eaten dinner yet?”

“I’ll figure something out when I get home.”

He stops in front of the cash register, “let me come over.”

“Why should I?”

“I want to make sure you eat something and the only way I know you would is if I come over.”

“You gonna cook for me?” You ask with slight amusement in your tone.

He nods, “I am.”

Your expression falls, you weren’t expecting to want to take care of you. “I- uh- don’t you have patrol tonight?”

“Jared’s covering me.” He smirks when his packmates grumbles come through the pack’s mental link.

“I-”

“I’m going to sit on your porch, watching over your house whether you want me there or not.”

You roll your eyes, “fine, you can come over once I’m done.”

He offers a genuine smile, “great. I’ll take you home.”

You nod before your brain processes what he said and turns back to him only to find him pushing Seth and Jared further into the booth so he can squeeze in.

“You finally got a boyfriend?” Your boss, Leonard (who happens to be Brody’s older cousin) asks.

You purse your lips, “nope, just got another annoying pain in the neck to deal with.”

“He’s cute.”

“Not into you.”

“I know, he’d rather have you.”

You elbow him in his ribs.

“You’re not denying it,” he wheezes.

-

You walk out of the back room and find Paul still in the booth even though the others had left a couple hours ago. “You didn’t need to wait for me.”

He lifts his head, staring at you with an expression you’ve only ever seen in movies. “I didn’t have to, I wanted to though.” He slips out of the booth and stands before you, placing a hand on your back.

You don't want to admit that you've missed him the last few days, if not the last few years but something about this feels domestic; almost like it's something you've been missing.

He opens the door to his truck, waiting until you're situated before closing the door and makes his way around to the other side.

You didn't know what to say and kept quiet, staring out the window, watching at the trees slip past you.

Paul didn't want to say the wrong thing and cause a fight.

-

He steps out of the car to open the door for you, when he turns the corner, the doors already open. "I was coming to open it for you."

"I got it."

"I wanted to treat you."

"I'm fine, Paul."

He sighs, keeping his mouth shut.

"You brought me home and now you can go." You don’t know if you can handle him being here with you now.

He shakes his head, "I'm staying." He makes himself at home by laying on your couch.

"There's no threat, I'm obviously fine, so you can go?"

"I'm not leaving until we talk."

"Talk about what?"

"You're my imprint and we haven't talked in years; I don't want us to be awkward or make this feel- I don't want it to be forced."

"I-" You sigh. "I have nothing to say."

He pushes himself off the couch, stepping closer towards you. "That's bullshit and you know it."

"I'm not the person you should have imprinted on," you set your bag down.

"That's not for me to decide-"

"Yeah, I know it's the universe but maybe it was wrong."

"It's never wrong."

"It is now."

He follows after you, standing outside of your bedroom door. "You know I-" He huffs, listening to the way your heartbeat quickens. "I used to have a crush on you."

"What?" You whisper to yourself, not sure why he's admitting this but also about the fact that he had a crush on you.

"I like you that's why I- I didn't know what happened but then I couldn't stop it."

You furrow your brows at the sight of his shoulders shaking, knowing the story behind Emily’s scars, you shouldn't take a step closer, but the caring voice inside tells you otherwise.

You step closer, slowly reaching out for him.

Your scent engulfs the room, calming him a bit until your hand touches his arm.

The red slowly leaves his vision and it's almost like he can see clearly when he turns his head towards you.

The lights stop flickering when you make eye contact with him.

"Better?" Is all you can ask, barely able to form any other words.

He owlishly blinks, "what?" He asks with a gruff tone.

"I- you seemed like you were going to lose it and I didn't want you to break my living room," you add, joking with him to calm him a bit.

The corner of his lips curve as he tries not to smile. "It doesn't seem like there's much worth breaking," he teases.

You scoff, "you ass."

"I am sorry though," he tells you with an honest tone as he bows his head in shame.

You gulp, "I appreciate that. I'm just sorry it happened now."

"I'm not."

You furrow your brows, partially offended.

"I wasn't ready for this, what we're making now. I- you wouldn't have liked me then. I didn't but," he reaches for your hand, hovering to give you the opportunity to accept or decline. "I hope now we can work on that... on us?"

You stare at his hand, remembering how many times you wanted this with him and how you pushed him away, leaving him alone.

You wrap your arms around his neck, tucking your head in the space between his neck and shoulder. "I've missed you, you idiot."

He chuckles, resting his cheek on your head, breathing you in. "Not as much as I've missed you, sweetheart." 

EXTRA

The boys make their ways up the path to your door with Sam and Emily in tow.

They're practically bouncing like none of them have stopped eating sugar.

"Do you think it finally happened?" Embry asks.

"Who knows? We're about to find out." Jared tells him before shoving Brady out of his way.

"Why'd we bring them again?" Asks Sam.

Emily smiles and shakes her head. "We had no choice."

"There's a body," Seth says. "I see an arm... and a face... it kind of looks-"

"That's your reflection," Quil smacks his arm.

"Hey, no hitting him. Only I can," Leah adds.

"Uh oh," Jared says.

"What?" Sams asks.

"Incoming," Seth, Jared, and Embry mumble in unison.

"You all need to leave," Paul hisses, slowly closing the door behind him.

"Looks like someone-"

"Finish that sentence and you're dead, Black."

Jacob backs away with his hands raised. “Someone’s grouchy.”

“We just had a decent talk last night and you all are not going to ruin this for me.”

Brady, Jared, and Embry turn around, nonchalantly whistling.

You place a hand on his shoulder, wanting him to stop blocking the door. “Paul, stop.”

He lowers his arm with an annoyed expression on his face.

“I know you all are excited but it’s not even seven yet. I still have to get ready for work and-”

“I brought food,” Emily interrupts as Sam lifts the basket.

You avoid Paul’s gaze as you snatch the basket from him. “You all may enter.”

His jaw drops. “I’ve been tossed aside for food.”

Jared pats his shoulder. “At least it wasn’t a blood sucker.”

Jacob glares at him.

“Too soon?” The man shrugs, “my bad man. Look I’m-” Jared takes off around your house before any of you realized what was happening.

-

“Is it always going to be like this?” You ask her.

She offers a sheepish shrug, “I mean, more at our place but close enough yeah.”

You shake your head, ripping another piece of muffin and shove it in Paul’s mouth before he could complain. You continue talking with Emily while simultaneously feeding him.

You glance down as another muffin makes its way to your hand. “Have you been giving me more just so I could feed you?”

He pauses, almost as if he’s bashful. “No?” He takes it from you and shushes, “don’t read into it.”

He shoves half the muffin in your mouth, and you take it like a baby does its pacifier.

Emily, Leah, and Embry stare at you with perplexed looks.

You pout. “You know I thought when Paul found his imprint he was going to calm down,” Brady interrupts. “But you made him weird.”

Neither of you respond to that.

Jared screaming in the background doesn’t disrupt the calmness in the air... even as he cries calls out for help.

-

Tag list

@kmc1989 @gilbertgirl13

-

Previously: Part I

Paul Lahote Master List

[aleswiftgron]

Please i beg that Cassandra does not stop at TWP, i mean imagine like a TLH series but this time is the TMI and TDA gangs' children.

Imagine baby clace, sizzy, jemma, Raphael and Max, seeing Mina all grown up, and seeing the adults just like we saw TID's gang in TLH🥹🥹

I need to see Jace and Simon being parents and insulting each other's parenting style

Malec kids being sick of their parents loving each other so much

Sizzy's kid fearing their mom's cooking and talking about it with their uncles.

Their kids being able to do anything bc the tmi gang had gone to hell when the majority was not 18 yet, and because Julian and Emma had become giants and Kit and Ty had done Necromancy at the ripe age of 15.

And Mina using the typical stereotype of "my parents were born in another time" but using it 100% unironically bc they were born in the 1800s

ALSO GROWN UP KIT AND MINA SIBLING BOND, PLEEEEAAAASEEEE I BEEEEEG OF YOUUU CASSIE

[pjo-tvs-version]

This is a pic my friend sent me from near the school and here are a few tid bits of my convo with her because it was hilarious.

Imagine this, Kronos was trying to raise another extra fit army. Like

Weapons of choice: Swords,Daggers,Axe❌ Dumbbells ✅

It would be soo funny to imagine an army doing Zumba, strangling using skipping ropes and attacking using weight lifts! We need to summon Percy Jackson to fight The Titan War - Gym Edition

Dumbbells would genuinely make good weapons, though. Dunno why Kronos didn't consider it

I'm sure Zumba will be a good bonding experience for the army haha. If they could throw weights at us, we'd be gone. They could use exercise balls to trip us over.

Imagine one of them aggressively doing push ups to crush the enemy

CHB Hephaestus cabin would make celestial bronze dumbbells in no time

[caterpillarinacave]

Matthew Fairchild knows German. Why? Because I say so.

[clockwork-carstairs]

the last hours was actually so tragic. like maybe it’s the edwardian london thing that makes it seem more tragic to me but damn all that miscommunication made them all so LONELY and isolated when they didn’t have to be. in tid even when will thought he was cursed he had jem, and even when he was being awful to tessa she still had other people in her life like jem and sophie. jem and tessa had no family, but they had people they talked to and shared their fears with. in the dark artifices, they’re this really strong family unit, the tragedy is horrible but there’s a network around them all (blackthorns + emma + kit) so no one’s really alone.

but in the last hours like….these kids HAVE parents and friend groups and supposed best friends even, yet they seem more isolated than any other series mains. james doesn’t tell anyone about the gracelet and what he went through (fair enough bec it was terrible and traumatising). but then it’s not just that. cordelia isn’t telling anyone what she’s going through. lucie isn’t telling anyone what she’s going through (trying to bring someone back to life???) – and they’re supposedly best friends and future parabatai! and matthew isn’t telling anyone what he’s going through, not his parabatai either, and no one wants to address how visibly he’s suffering. and grace, she’s actually alone. and it just seems so lonely and sad and they all seem so isolated even though they shouldn’t be, because unlike the tid and tda mains, the tlh lot actually have parents and their own homes (for the most part). the start of chain of thorns especially is just really painful because they’re all suffering ALONE when they all have people around them they just don’t bridge the gap. it just feels so lonely which is almost ironic bec what about the friendship of the merry thieves and the parabatai bonds and best friendship?

[discobiscotto]

Just Guys Bein’ Dudes: A Needlessly Huge TED-Talk About Luca & Alberto’s Relationship

Ready for some big-brain BS?

Well, ready or not, here’s a “little” dive into how I interpret/perceive Luca and Alberto’s relationship.

Note: I’m referring to them as my own headcanon versions of them as men. It can certainly be applied to them as young adults and teens for sure, but I’m diving into ‘Ciao Luca’ territory specifically. So, there, just being clear on the who’s who.

What’s their deal anyhow?

Are they romantic partners? Are they attracted to eachother, yanno 👉🏻👈🏻? Buddies? Buddies with benefits? Are they even a couple? Are they husbands? What’s their deal?

So, a couple years ago when I was starting to get really busy with the headcanons, I went on a tear about their relationship to lay down some kind of clear foundation for it. I felt alittle conflicted at the time about how their relationship was going to feel/act like.

To me, because I love ambiguity, I wanted to keep that energy going from the original source material…but with alittle “oomph”…considering there’s been time and maturity tacked on. They can’t just be Pallin’ Around forever, something’s gotta give with chemistry that strong imo.

If I’m being honest, them being point-blank romantic partners felt too cliched and predictable/boring. Courtship, wooing, marriage…snore. It just didn’t feel like ‘them’ to me. It bordered heteronormative somehow. I was just …PUTTING MYSELF TO SLEEP.

Not to say they aren’t romantic, because they certainly are in their own right! It just isn’t the defining Vibe of their relationship.

As a queer lady with a pretty open mind in terms of what defines a relationship and/or bond, I believe that love expression is on a spectrum. Different strokes for different folks, yanno?

I scooted myself over to that old filing cabinet in my brain with random Greek Philosophy tid-bits (that I was impressed wasn’t put thru the incinerator) and I got polishing.

I remembered a few terms, like storge (family love), Eros: romantic, mania: obsessive/stalkerish love, agape, philia, the list goes on.

We’re gonna focus on PHILIA, typically deemed affectionate and/or “brotherly love”, I think also falls under platonic love.

We’re going to come back to this later☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

As a couple of seamonsters (first and foremost) the human concept of love may not necessarily compute to them. Not that they get confused or turn their nose up at it, but rather it’s more boxed-in and rigid than, I guess, fish love? Haha.

Example: homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality as concepts are human inventions to help humans navigate their life and their identity in the world, be part of a tribe, and potentially find mates.

They’re social constructs, like gender conformity, and Mondays.

Seamonsters really don’t have that. They’re similar to humans in alot of ways, but in terms of attraction, love, and social awareness, they just kindof ride the wave and go where the current takes them.

Opposite sex pairings likely happen more often because [gestures] instincts and Makin’ Fries. But just like humans, same sex relationships happen just as much!…but seamonsters have no concept of homophobia (strictly a human invention) so there’s no discouragement or imposed fear of the relationship…it just happens if it’s meant to and the world keeps spinning. [deep sighs]

Luca and Alberto are aware of human society and customs (especially now that they’ve been living amongst them for atleast 15 years). So, they still try to do-as-the-humans-do sometimes. They know that they feel a strong bond to eachother that can’t be ignored, and when humans sense a similar bond between each other they express it by being physically intimate, or giving gifts, or creating things for eachother, etc.

So, basically, it boils down to “I love my friend, so I wish to express that love for him like that [gesture].”

Now bringing it back to Philia up there!👆🏻

That particular source defines philia as brotherly love, both must be men (in the Greek system), they respect and take pleasure in eachother’s company, bond through exploring philosophical truths, and sexual intimacy or attraction is optional.

This other source takes it a bit further saying that we could be diving into “friends to lovers” territory which is the aforementioned “oomph” I was referring to. The bridge into Eros stuff without being completely rooted there (ie your usual romantic pair).

Their relationship isn’t based on physical attraction, but began as a close friendship that progressed into something more. Not built on lust, but on mutual affection and respect for eachother.

They are an “unlikely” pair. Where a hockey hug became alittle tighter, and the joined hands in a good old “Piacere Girolamo Trombetta” started to linger.

They feel safe with eachother, they love and prefer eachother’s company, they share eachother’s worlds and feel deeply connected in them. Alberto cooks meals for them because he loves Luca, and Luca gives Alberto [SPOILER] because he loves him back.

They share a “I can’t quite put my finger on it but I feel safe, warm, and happy with you, I enjoy your company and what we have, I love the feeling of you being close to me, exchanging warmth and heartbeats, and I feel like this is more than going out on dates or ‘picking out curtains’.” kind of thing.

They’re roommates who kiss and “play house”. They are in love…but express it in their own unique way. They are openly affectionate. They keep people guessing, they confuse the neighbors, they have an “inside joke”.

Alberto lays on the housewife schtick: straightening Luca’s tie and sending him on his way with a packed lunch.

They call eachother heteronormative terms of endearment, mostly to be cheeky. Sarcastic “Honey” or “Dear” followed by someone affectionately ending up in a headlock.

They love to play with the human version of “married life”, little do they realize they’ve grown genuinely accustomed to it.

They’re queer but have no name and nowhere they’d rather be except each other’s arms (that one place that makes perfect sense).

They aren’t married…they never can get married…but that doesn’t stop them from sharing their homes, their beds, and a last name written on their Christmas cards.

In conclusion, humans say they’re gay.

The Paguro’s say “They built a farm together.”

SOURCES:

[blackthornish]

I was thinking about the evolution of Cassie's writing after watching a video that addressed love triangles, remembering the whole Simon-Clary-Jace, Jem-Tessa-Will and Kieran-Mark-Cristina thing, and how slowly Cassie was increasing her insertion of queerness into her stories over the years and I just forgot about TLH. The triangle in this trilogy was constructed in such a different way that I literally forgot there was a love triangle... especially because I never interpreted Matthew-Cordelia-James as a triangle per se, since Matthew didn't seem like a viable option in any of the books. Hm.

TMI's triangle has a bit of subtext - that scene with homoerotic tones of Simon drinking Jace's blood, more specifically -, while TID's has a very strong subtext, with the deep parabatai bond between the boys, and the Tessa dating both of them, the queerness still is in the subtext. Meanwhile, the TDA triangle goes further, becoming polyamory in which all sides touch and relate to each other. It's interesting to see the way Cassie inserted queerness into her books with the love triangles and became more comfortable writing in text properly in TDA.

Which makes sense: TLH's love triangle never felt like one to me, since I couldn't see any homoerotic subtext between Matthew and James.

(remembering that I am writing based on my interpretation of the characters' romantic relationships).