#sympathy pains

[xxlittle0birdxx]

If she had elected to openly have this child on Mandalore, she wouldn't be left alone. Not like this. Not even for a second. Ordinarily, she would be surrounded by family. Her mother. Her grandmothers. Aunts. Sisters. Cousins. They would hold her hands. Help her find a good position to labor and give birth. There were traditional blessings they would chant as the baby took its first breath.

The time on the chrono marched forward, and Satine shifted, trying to find a position that didn't exacerbate the spreading ache in her back. It was a task that proved difficult, given her solitude. She began to regret not telling Nan everything and begging her to accompany her.

The silence gave way to the one fear she thought she had managed to lock behind mental durasteel doors: Could she love this child for itself and not merely because it was Obi-wan's child? And would there ever be a day when this child wasn't a constant reminder of him?

[a-fix-of-muses]

Currently Listening To: "Sympathy Pains" by Polterguise

[philosophybits]

Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

[sysig]

Rainbows (Patreon)

[vaggieslefteye]

HUSK, Hotel Bartender & Concierge | 1x04 - Masquerade

"Oh, I FORGOT — you're the wise-old bartender who's seen it all! Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink."

[psychologeek]

do you really think you're the victim in this situation? children are being bombed every day, do you think they're less human than you?

Children are bombed every day? Wow. Shocking. I had no idea.

(One of my first memories is the sound of explosion, and the way my home shook. I was seven.)

I don't think others are, as you put it, "less human" then me. But apparently YOU seem to think that way.

See, all I do is writing about *my* experiences, and things that actually have a matter to my own life. So yes, I'm self-centric.

You, on the other hand?

Completely unrelated to the situation. Yet, all you have to do is to complain about.... what exactly? That I share my fears, and pain, and struggles? That I have PTSD? That I'm alive?

But again, I shouldn't be surprised. If "not talking" about something is bc you think they aren't human.

Well.

(Your attempt to silence me says it all.)

~

(ID1: sky with smoke-dots. Those dots are missiles. I took this photo from my home.)

(ID2: a newborn on window pane. Screenshot from news.)

This is 10 days old Kay. His parents hid with him as their house was burnt and their friends and family were murdered. When the shooting got quiet, they opened the door of the smoke-filled room and placed him on the window pane to let him breathe. Then, when the shooting got back to the area, they closed the door and got back to pretend to be dead.

(When I was 17, I hugged my 4 yo sister under my grandma's staircase, as we waited for the explosion.)

א.ט. *אזעקה מוקלטת*

This is me and some of my neighbours on a usual day.

Now, this is pretty old - my area, personally, wasn't bombed in a while.

The area I grew up in, where some of my family still lives, can't say the same.

But hi, it's all depending on the context, as was said.

Not like I'm human or anything.

[mourn-and-watch]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

[cry-ptidd]

Laura genuinely makes me so sad, like I cried all silly sometimes ago cause we have a similar past but I went on and she’s like you know..stuck and I wouldn’t want that for anyone :( even if she’s fictional and a killer. I just wish to be kind to her for a moment and tell her a lot of women or really humans feel her pain, that it didn’t turn all of us into monsters. I guess it’s why I’m attached to her because I get it I do, but also…why I hate characters that have SA in their backstory cause it’s really depressing. She’s an amazing character but I can’t help but still wish her punishment and somehow through it all. Peace. That she gets all the punishment she needs and gets some peace right after..a good for good slumber. Even if she doesn’t get that, or feel worthy of it.

This ask actually made me a bit emotional, im gonna be honest. It's one of the most sincere messages I've gotten i think? I am very sorry about what you went through and I will do the same thing you'd do for Laura and tell you to please remember you're not alone and that i believe in you as a person, and that you're still able to move ahead despite everything that's hurt you.

Laura is a character built on cruel irony and tragedy, and many of her aspects are an exaggerated version of views that i also have because of my own trauma (aversion to men, aggression, anger, spite, stubbornness) and the crimes and attitude that would make her an irredeemable character are here to kind of cement the fact she went way too far in her revenge and how being hurt an turn a person into a monster.

But, i rally have to agree with you. Holy FUCK do i pity her. She's not reveling in her evil, she's not actively trying to do more harm (not anymore), and she's just in a state of permanent self-loathing and isolation, where her punishment isn't satisfying to watch or even really clear. You don't really wanna root for her morally, you just kinda wish she'd just... stop. And take a long sleep. Just like you said, a proper, defined punishment, and then let her sleep.

I think this ask sealed the deal of me giving her a canonically somewhat "happy" ending? Maybe a mild one? Where she starts to settle down and indirectly heal alongside Integra and Seras post-canon. A household of damaged women growing alongside each other. Im sure her Creator can decide on a rightful punishment when she passes. Let's just give her a bit of leisure for now.

[froody]

as much as I love osteoarchaeology, I’m not sure I could do it. I’d just be standing there looking at a badly healed break on a femur from the Paleolithic era thinking “ow. owwwww. yeowch. ouchie.”

[villain-disorder]

Having no empathy and limited sympathy is so thankless. You can sit here doing equations in your brain trying to figure out how to not upset people and they still get mad if you make an "obvious" social mistake. But they don't see the amount of thought that goes into every damn interaction to make sure you're not unintentionally being hurtful, so if you make too many "obvious" mistakes, you're evil and a bad person.

You have disorganised thinking and can't see every outcome for a social interaction? Evil. You have no/low empathy and struggle to see how others feel and can be seen as cold even if you try to seem kind and be compassionate? Evil. Cut us some slack, it's not innate to us to function "perfectly". When I'm in a psychotic episode I can hardly think at all. Chill out.

[gojoest]

pf!satoru when fighting a curse: oh wait. wife is calling.

satoru on the phone while fighting: hiii honey! yeah, i'll grab your snacks. i promise i'll be quick. yep! love you, too! give me an hour. :)

he's so quick about it, but if he's even a minute late, he's all over you, begging for kisses and cuddles. he apologizes so much and he almost cries. (he's probably more hormonal than you during the entire pregnancy tbh)

i can totally see it going this way—he’s playing around with the curse, just like with jogo during their first fight, literally taking his sweet time before he gets serious. letting the curse “attack” him and then thoroughly explain his CT and why the attacks never worked in the first place… but, when you call him it takes him less than a second to be done with the mission and then another half of a second, maybe even less, to teleport himself in front of the store and pick up your snacks

and yea if he’s late he is all over the place, feeling guilty for leaving you in the first place :( nuzzling into you with apologies, kissing your belly on his knees :(

[howellslides]

babes my experience is not universal and blah blah blah but when i bring up how much pain i’m in by using positivity and humour, that is not the time to respond with sympathy and sads. like if i’m joking about it i’m either not ready to be upset about it or i’ve already done being upset about it, you being upset about it for me is just pushing me into that space unnecessarily and kinda makes me feel like i’m not allowed to like? talk? about my day? unless i’m catering to your emotions in the first place.

also, like, just match my energy, the conversation is gonna be way funnier if we’re both joking about it cuz let’s be real bodies are already engineered terribly and there’s something hilarious about mine not even meeting that subpar standard

[quietwingsinthesky]

Dean is such a paradox for me because on the one hand, I have been actively triggered by him in the show, there are moments where, intentionally or not, the writers managed to create a portrayal of manipulation and abuse and control issues that it sets off actual alarms for me. And on the other hand, I would not have him any other way. There is something — not comforting, that’s too soft a word — about knowing where Dean’s actions stem from, having seen and learned all that we do about his childhood neglect and parentification and the trauma he goes through repeatedly in the show, and that he doesn’t come out clean. He comes out a goddamn mess who ends up hurting the people around him in reaction to his own pain!

There’s a reality there that’s. Almost nice, actually. Distressing to watch, but it is a fucking mess, it’s a good mess! He’s got zero healthy coping skills and a healthy relationship with say, his brother, is terrifying because it leaves him open to abandonment!

I’m not sure I’m wording this correctly. There is a way to be a good abuse victim. Take the pain, martyr yourself on it, and then, even if you have no support or idea how to, then you have to become a Good Person who never hurts anyone the way you have been learning to your entire life. Simply toss everything that shaped you out the door and emerge a saint with a tragic backstory. And Dean is not that. And that’s so fucking good. Everything that he has gone through continues to effect the way he treats the people around him, and he can’t fight the behaviors he might recognize as harmful because he also sees them as protecting him (or protecting Sam by keeping Sam with him.)

And sometimes, idk. It feels good to see a guy who didn’t heal the “right way.” Who mostly didn’t heal at all, just keeps the wound open because it’s easier that way.

[kaionyx]

I haven’t been able to let my anger out on a pup in a long time and i’m itching for it. Tying them down with their legs spread, carving bites and cuts into them to drag out the muffled cries and begs to slow down. Laugh at how much they’ve cum from calling them such sinful names while defiling their body, taunting and giving faux sympathy about how easy it is to break and abuse them when they’re cockdrunk like this.

Not stopping until they’re sobbing and barely conscious from what seems like endless torment, just to pick them up and shower them with kisses and praise for being such a good punching bag for me.

[maybe-a-gatto-or-a-catto]

Something that just continues surprising me is how much compassion Shu Takumi can write in characters

[tumblezwei]

might end up a Caitlyn defender too bc that girl has always been driven by her emotions and just bc her actions stem from anger and grief now instead of sympathy that does not make her OOC