#surgery diary
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5/30/24
12w2dpo
I just spent the last 60 hours sans faja. I worked out tuesday, then got a spray tan. Went to the airport and flew to Florida. It was insanely hot yesterday. Today was a shopping day and the weather was perfect. I went to the Cheesecake Factory and take pot stickers, crap rangoon and an Oreo cheesecake. It’s the first time in 3 months I’ve eaten like complete shit. I felt like throwing up the rest of the day. I rarely go to the Cheesecake Factory, I think I’ve only been twice (counting this time) and the food is just nasty. On par with Olive Garden or Applebee’s. Yet the restaurant was packed. Actually had to wait 20 minutes to eat lol I know I’m technically on vacation and should give myself grace but I still feel bad about it. At least I walked around a lot. Shopping burns calories. I got back to the item end immediately put my faja back on lol my safety net. I have an event to go to tomorrow and need to make sure my waist is absolutely snatched.
My body is looking great. I’m going to try to take some photos but I’m pretty busy on this trip so idk when I’ll have the time. Regardless I’m about to be 3 months post op so I want to do a before and after.
I really want to get thigh/knee/ankle lipo. It’s hard to find a surgeon because most of the people who get leg lipo have hideous legs lol mine are just really thick in a bad way. I’m pretty sure I have cankles. And no this isn’t me having body dysmorphia. This is me coming to the realization that my model legs aren’t attainable unless I get some surgical help. The pressures to look good are staggering. There are so many beautiful women in the world. I know that getting a boob job will put me in another league altogether but that’s the one surgery I’m not too keen on getting.
Pros;
Filling out clothes
Being proportional
Looking more feminine
Cons;
Breast implant illness
Artificial substance permanently lodged into my body
Looking fat in clothes
Ugly scars
Complications
Looking older than I am
I wish there was a way to naturally grow your boobs other than pregnancy lol I swear if I had a full c cup I’d be miss universe, celebrity level beautiful. The only real pro to my small boobs is that everything thinks I’m 5+ years younger than I actually am. Having big boobs ages you. And unless you are petite they can make you look way bigger than you actual are. I’m good though. If a billionaire told me he’d marry me if I got fake boobs then I’d do it lol but until then I’m good.
#plastic surgery diary#cosmetic surgery#lookmaxxing#lookmaxx#lipo#liposuction#arm lipo#plastic surgery#plasticsurgery#post op#fajas#surgery diary#post surgery recovery
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Please don’t get a mastectomy. You are clearly not making a sound mental decision. Genuinely do not have an elective amputation that is entirely unnecessary. Do not permanently remove a functioning healthy body part because you hate your body. Your feelings may change one day but you can never have your body parts back again
not only am i going to get my tits cut off, i’m going to enjoy it the entire time. i’m going to get off on it. and after i’ve enjoyed the intentional, erotic dissection of my flesh, i’m gonna go to the beach. and i’m gonna take my shirt off to show off the scars where they cut into me, and i’ll laugh so fucking hard. and when i laugh, stranger, it’s gonna be at you.
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How I imagine this conversation went
#art just wants to help#let it perform bottom surgery#tmbd#murderbot#secunit#tmbd fanart#murderbot fanart#artificial condition#art#tmbd art#perihelion#murderhelion#trafosu#the murderbot diaries
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this has probably been said before but murderbot is interesting in how it's also a deeply intersex narrative.
murderbot exists as an inherently transgressive being by having aspects of humans and bots. initially, it pretends to be wholly a bot because being one or the other is more comforting to humans - the reality of its existence horrifies others, and they attempt to push it into one or the other categories. (e.g.: preferring to keep its helmet on in All Systems Red so the survey team see it as a bot)
Once it can no longer masquerade as a bot with its personhood uncovered, it rejects the notion of "becoming human" and is at every turn discomforted by having to put on a different ruse (e.g. its vehement refusal to ART's alteration of its body in Artificial Condition - it is literally subjected to surgery in order to better blend into society, because being recognized as a SecUnit could spell its doom.) Obviously the metaphor here is that "bot" and "human" function like the genders in our current society, deciding of a person's perception by society and their social standing and their bodily functions.
Augmented humans may be augmented but still slot entirely into the "human" category. Murderbot's existence (and the existence of SecUnits and constructs as a whole) is a transgression to this set binary. Even with people who accept its existence, it struggles to feel at ease because it is aware of this.
At one point in one of the books (I forget which), it also explicitly rejects the phrasing of being "half-bot half-human". It is not half anything, it is a construct, it is Murderbot, and nothing else.
#feli speaks#the murderbot diaries#intersexism#tldr murderbot trying to be either seen as fully bot or fully human when it is neither reminds of how intersex people are pressured#into presenting as perisex even at the cost of their own comfort with their bodies#like. gestures at mb undergoing cosmetic surgery it doesnt want for social benefits.
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What a day! I whooped 🥱. Update: Everything looks amazing! I'm feeling pretty too tbh. I'm in a little pain, but as to be expected. Nothing out of the ordinary. I did just wake up from a 2-hour nap tho. Let me tell you, it felt good to get some sleeps finally. Now I'm just hanging out watching anime on my switch!
2 a.m., and I'm up ready to head out for surgery. I'm still nervous but excited! This is the next chapter in my life, and that page turns today! Thank you, everyone, for your support! My followers and the friends I've made on here are amazing! I couldn't do it without you! I'll update as soon as I can! Wish me luck!
#transgender surgery#trans surgery#trans support#transgender#trans#transisbeautiful#trans pride#transgirl#mtf hrt#mtf#girlslikeus#maletofemale#transformation#trans women are beautiful#trans woman#trans is beautiful#trans is not a crime#trans love#top surgery#trans positivity#trans feminine#trans people#tgirls are better#tgirlsdoitbetter🌈#tgirlsheaven#cute tgirl#t girl tumblr#mtf positivity#lgbtq positivity#surgery diary
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Murderbot September Day 3: Augments
“Augments” specifically refer to implanted, integrated, artificial parts with feed access and bio-feedback. An ordinary prosthetic isn’t an augment.
Three hundred years ago, augmentation was relatively rare. It was overwhelmingly done for specific careers, such as spaceship pilots, doctors, lawyers, and high-powered financial professionals—people who needed to process and juggle a lot of information quickly. This was when the ancestors of Preservation took off on the Pressy and were out of contact with the rest of the galaxy for two hundred years.
By the time they awoke from cryo-sleep, augmentation had become a LOT more common. Ordinary businesspeople were getting augmented as kind of a status symbol—saying, my job is so important, so fast-paced, so high-profile, that I need augments to keep up with it. I’m Important. It also became increasingly done by coders, programmers, tech professionals, in order to remain competitive in tech jobs. Brain-feed augmentation for children as young as 11 or 12 became increasingly common—the younger you get brain augments, the more neuroplastic you are at that point, the easier the integration is and the more natural it feels to connect to the feed. This is done both by parents wanting their kids to have an advantage getting high-profile jobs, but can also be sponsored by companies in exchange for promising the kid to be contracted to work for them for a certain number of years when they come of age. Sometimes, this is considered a really good deal.
The people of Preservation were incredibly offput by this.
Even now, nearly a hundred years later, augments are seen as a “corporate thing” on Preservation. Few people are augmented, and they’re still mostly doctors and pilots, and augmentation of children is illegal unless it’s for a legitimate medical cause (certain types of augments were developed for treating things like brain injuries or seizure disorders, for example.) As such, it’s rare but not unheard of to see augmented humans on Preservation. It still… tends to get a knee-jerk emotional reaction of “that’s a vain/barbaric Corporate thing,” though.
Pin-Lee has considered getting augmented before. By this point, you almost never encounter Corporation Rim lawyers who aren’t. When she’s negotiating interplanetary contracts, it’s a valuable tool to get on their level. And lawyers who aren’t augmented are kind of seen as naïve newbies punching about their weight class. But she hasn’t, partially out of 1) legitimate medical concerns that augments could interact poorly with her medication, and 2) pride and spite that she doesn’t have to make herself Like Them to be just as good at her job as them.
#The Murderbot Diaries#if you see an augmented human on Preservation there is a 90% chance they are a doctor a spaceship pilot or an immigrant#The other 10% is usually medical concerns#Getting augmented just cause you feel like can be done but is rare because it usually involves invasive brain surgery#And oh people get Judgy about it#MBS24#Murderbot September
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i know that i have a little bit of tummy because of my uterus but like FUCK dude that but of pudge makes me so insecure and dysphoric :/
no matter how many lbs i drop or how often i restrict it literally won’t go away unless i get it removed, which is like, expensive and scary
a uterus doesn’t really fit my vibe lollll
#you’d think that getting top surgery would make me less scared of surgery#not in the slightest#ana b0y#tw a4a#a4a diet#a4a motivation#boy ana#ed male#trans a4a#trans ed#a4a diary#a4a tips
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Welp, here be my interpretation of Murderbot.
Thank you to @tindoiimu for input on the inorganic colors, @nerdwingblogs for giving me the idea that it changes colors (I get choice paralysis when it comes to color schemes), and both of them plus @tytoalbias for encouraging me to let my furriness bleed into its design.
Some extra bits of info
It starts out at 7 feet tall. Is later 6 feet and 11.2 inches tall
Its skin tone is based on the Subterranean cover for Home: Habitat, Range, Niche, Territory (Book 4.5).
The skin and muscles on its head act similar to those on its back, and since the company did not intend its security units to have hair longer than a buzz cut, its head hair reacts the same as the finer hairs on the rest of its body
I’m explaining away the claws and fangs as the company trying to make their secunits more intimidating, but the real world reason is I keep calling Murderbot a cat with anxiety and just decided to run with it.
If you wanna see what I imagine is inside it click here.
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#Cyborg#Val I am trusting that you have gotten to the point where Murderbot gets shorter already#It’s not that big a spoiler#you already know its hair gets longer#I guess I should also thank dilfosaur cause her humanized Fonts is a big reason my interpretation of MB has that face shape#I also once said MB probably looked like a yaoi boy but with metal and a buzzcut in place of the yaoi and the boy#Probably shoulda made its hands bigger#but I need to get this posted before I can post a different thing which I need to post before I go in for surgery#are you still reading this?
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the antique wind-up musical lamb someone gave me for valentines day ❦
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"ART had an alternate, more drastic plan that included giving me sex-related parts, and I told it that was absolutely not an option." (Artificial Condition, pg. 50)
do you think ART did its crew members' bottom surgery
#the murderbot diaries#tmbd#perihelion#asshole research transport#this occurred to me this morning and i had to fight not to laugh and disturb my sleeping roommate#ART... ally of all time... it will do your surgeries and dispense your HRT#all for the low low price of Never Leave It Or It Will Blow Up A Planet#murderbot#IF YOU SEE A VERSION OF THIS INCORRECTLY CITING ROGUE PROTOCOL. SORRY#I FIXED IT
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4/9/24
5 weeks post op
I’ve went to a qualified (oncology) physical therapist. She was incredible. So extremely knowledgeable on the cording. We created a plan where I had homework (stretching at home) and I see her 2x a week for the rest of the month. I already see my mobility coming back. I can’t wait to finally get my full range of motion so I can resume Pilates and golf.
Everyday is a struggle. One day I think I’m snatched, the next I see a pooch and a wonder why I spent all this money to look the same. I can’t easily see how people get addicted to surgery. I don’t measure nor weigh myself. I’ve been slipping on my water, vitamin and protein intake. But I’ll do better tomorrow. The big struggle is wearing this full length compression lol it’s so hot and constricting. Hard to feel hot in this.
Late night thoughts
Surgery doesn't start when you put the deposit and end when you get off the operating table. It's an actual lifestyle change. A major commitment. If I had to compare it to something it would be like having a child. (I'm talking about getting a body procedure, not a nose job or bleph.) You have to take care and nurture your body for the rest of your life. You should be doing that anyway but I really think surgery rewires your brain. You get so used to one body, then get transformed into a new one that's familiar yet different. So much pain and suffering.
It's so easy to fall off track. "Oh it's just one cookie. Oh it's just the dressing. Oh I'll walk 10k steps tomorrow." Then you just fall back into your old patterns. I can’t tell you how many stories online are about how people fell off the wagon after surgery because they assumed surgery was a “fix it all” type of deal.
I quit coffee. No dessert at dinner. No sweets at the house. My sweet treat is a Barebells protein bare or sorbet. Eating Whole Foods. Drinking water, no sugary drinks. It’s a lifestyle change. Genetically I wasn’t a 90s supermodel but trust and believe after surgery I am.
#plastic surgery diary#surgery diary#surgery tip#cosmetic surgery#liposuction#plastic surgery#post op#post op diary
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i keep missing work due to my brain injury + brain cyst + general chronic illness, and i only have 5 months to generate over $10,000 or else i’m going to have to go even further into medical debt!
every single dollar makes a real, genuine difference in my life!
#diary#gender transition#gender affirmation#gender affirming surgery#top surgery#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqi#lgbtqia#lgbt+#lgbtq+#lgbtqi+#lgbtqia+#queer#pride#trans pride#queer pride#gender affirmation surgery#ftm#trans ftm#non-binary#nonbinary#enby#ftnb#female to male#female to non-binary#transmasc#transmasculine#trans androgynous#transgender
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Draw trains marty :) please
top surgery king 👑 (I still hate him kinda)
#jackson's diary#ken okamoto#jacksons diary#ken's art#asks#Marty jd#jackson's diary marty#Marty Jackson's diary#trans#transgender#trans man#transgender man#trans men#transmasc#transmasculine#top surgery#trans surgery#queer#lgbtqia+#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#queer community
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It's day 6 after surgery
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It's been a long week, y'all.
#personal#dear diary#it sure is Monday!#i'm sick#i had to get up at 5:30am#i almost passed out in surgery#my second clinic patient was EXTREMELY complicated#and i did a solo pap smear for the first time#all the clinic stuff was good experience and my preceptor today was SO reassuring and supportive#but i am Le Tired
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Love how it's canon that ART can do bottom surgery. And that it tried to convince Murderbot to let it do bottom surgery on it, pretty much just for fun.
#a talking bunkat#I'm sure that Art wanted to do it to help Murderbot look more like a human but lets be real#It wanted to see if it could do bottom surgery on a SecUnit successful#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#tmbd#asshole research transport#perihelion
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