#supposed to be a bit overweight

[sinsmockingbird]

I've been seeing the edits of buff Feixiao, and I'm internally going savage while salivating. I love buff women. Plus, Fei is literally buff. Her one emote shows that. Fuck her character model (even though I'm trying to pull for her) and Hoyo for not having the balls to give characters melanin and different body types.

[ace-with--a-mace]

i have been watching american housewife

[toytulini]

it is always so jarring to be reminded about the NORMAL size for a cat

[vega-and-me]

I just had some lady in a doctor's waiting room, completely unprompted go: "feeling extra fats these days, i think I'll take a double seat" in the sweetest, highest, saccharine voice and smile.

[drferox]

Pets are very commonly overweight. And very commonly the reason given will be ‘because my parents feed them more than they’re supposed to, and they won’t listen when I tell them to stop’.

And I sympathise. I understand. Parents are hard, especially when they still think of you as ‘their kid’ and not ‘grown adult with autonomy’. Getting your parent to change their behavior is very difficult.

My two cats have a scoop in their bag of food, and they get one scoop each for dinner. It’s a very simple system: 1 scoop 1 cat. If I notice they’re getting a bit podgy then I make the scoop a bit concave. If they’re looking a bit light, I give them a little extra breakfast. But dinner is always the same, never more than one scoop.

But last night I watch my mother (the very same woman that scolded me for my weight since I was ten) decide to feed the cats for me while I finished washing the dishes.

The cats follow her, mewing pathetically, as she carries the food bag to their bowls. And I watch, as she’s talking to me and making eye contact, while she gives one cat a slightly heaped scoop of food, and then the other.

And then, dear reader, she replaces the scoop into the bag, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world, and proceeds to give each cat an additional handful of food.

I was astounded. I was politely mortified that you just increased the cats’ meals by at least 80%. No wonder they’ve been podgy!

We had a polite but firm discussion about how that is a measured scoop in the bag, and have-you-been-feeding-that-much-the-whole-time, but I do not think she has listened. I think I will need to gently ban her from feeding the cats.

[wonuuism]

puppy love - 심재윤

in which jake makes the most if his (expensive) visit to the vet.

tags: fluff, vet!reader, layla’s not overweight irl but for the sake of the plot let’s say she’s been eating a little too well;;

author’s note: idk i wrote this in like an hour bc of a sudden burst of motivation. no proofreading bc it’s 3am LOL. first fic woo!! enjoy!!!

—

jake’s worried. panicking, even.

layla’s laying down next to him in the back of the taxi, her eyes shifting around nervously. jake’s leg is bouncing up and down as anxiety courses through his veins. layla had slipped and fallen down the stairs while he was home and her sharp whining whenever she walked afterwards made him uneasy. so, he was quick to call up the nearest vet clinic and book the soonest appointment for a consultation.

he’s really, really worried though. layla’s never had any bad scares like this one, so he’s not sure what to expect. what if it’s worse than he thinks? what if they tell him layla’s broken a bone? what if layla has to go through surgery? oh god - jake thinks he might throw up.

he’s interrupted from his thoughts as the taxi driver stops the car and announces they’ve arrived. thanking the driver, jake exits the car and gulps nervously as he surveys the exterior of the clinic. it feels ominous.

a bell rings as he pushes open the door, and the girl at the front desk looks up from the computer screen. “welcome in! how may i help you?”

“uh… i have an appointment at 11:30. for layla.” jake responds.

“awesome, i see you in our calendar. please hold tight while i let the vet know you’re here.” she smiles kindly, but it does little to ease jake’s nerves. still, he manages a tight-lipped smile and curt nod in response.

—

jake watches as someone emerge from the back, looking at a clipboard in their hands. “layla?”

he stands up right away, prompting layla who had been laying by his feet to do the same. “yes, that’s us.”

you look up at the source of the voice and send him a pleasant smile. walking towards him, you reach out your hand and he shakes it, but not before quickly swiping his palm on his jeans. “nice to meet you. i’m dr. l/n, and i’ll be taking a look at layla today. how about we head inside so i can take a better look at her?”

jake nods earnestly and gently tugs on layla’s leash to have her follow him into the consultation room in the back. once inside, you ask if he could kindly place layla on the table - a request he readily complies to. you’re impressed at how little he struggled given the fact that layla is a fairly big dog. clearly, he was strong. and maybe kind of cute, too.

“so,” you begin, “what seems to be the issue?”

“she had a bit of a bad fall and she’s been limping and whining a lot since then… i’m worried she might’ve broken a bone or something like that?” jake explains as he runs his hand comfortingly through layla’s fur.

you nod as he speaks, reaching over to assess any damage. after checking her heartbeat with your stethoscope, you flex her hips, gently press on her legs, and check on her paws.

as you do so, layla’s continuously making noises of discontent. initially, you had believed that her right front leg was causing her discomfort since she’d barked sharply when you touched it. however, she’d done the same thing for every other limb you’d touched as well. smiling, you turn your attention to her owner.

“i don’t see anything wrong with layla. her legs are fine, i’d say the shock of the fall is probably what made her respond like that. us people tend to coddle our pets a lot when they get injured, and dogs especially like that attention so they exaggerate it to make it seem worse than it is.”

jake is dumbfounded. “so you’re saying layla was just being dramatic?”

you smile apologetically. “yes… i know it’s not the news you were expecting, but that’s a good thing! means she’s not injured.”

you’re right, jake supposes. but that means i brought her all the way here because she’s a drama queen?!

you note the way jake sighs heavily, and it makes you want to try and console him by making his trip to the clinic seem somewhat worthwhile with basic medical advice.

“however, i would recommend putting her on a bit of a diet. she seems to be just a little bit over the ideal weight, and that can cause unnecessary strain on her joints.” you explain and jake nods, hanging on to every word coming out of your mouth. “after all, we want layla to live a long and healthy life, don’t we?” you coo, reaching out to ruffle her neck.

jake smiles. cute.

wait, what?

he takes this chance to finally look at you. he’d been too occupied previously with worry that he hadn’t been able to actually register what you looked like. now, he can see that you are, in fact, cute. you look around his age, and he’s impressed that you’re a vet this young. you suit the scrubs, but he wonders what you’d wear outside of work.

you pull away from layla and jake snaps back to reality. he’s glad layla’s okay. still, he sternly faces her and points his index finger toward her snout. “alright missy, you’re going on a diet starting today. consider it punishment for scaring me like that.”

chuckling, you turn to face him and he mirrors your action. there’s not much left to say, so he thanks you quickly and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. you stay since you have to log layla’s information in your computer. as you’re wrapping up, you add one more thing in layla’s “additional information” section.

additional information: super cute, looks exactly like owner

—

jake silently mourns on his way back home. again, he’s glad layla’s okay. he really is. but he had to pay an extraordinarily large amount of money just to be told that she’s fine. and a little fat.

he glares at layla, who looks back at him with sparkling eyes. his heart melts at the sight, and he sighs as he pets her. jake thinks of you and the fondness in your eyes as you petted the same fur moments prior. maybe something good did come out of his visit to the vet.

suddenly, he gets an idea. he paid a lot of money for this consultation, so he could be a little greedy. as a client, he could ask for your number, right? after all, what if something truly serious happened next time? he’d rather skip the formality of booking an appointment through the website and speak directly with you instead.

so, he pulls up the clinic’s information and calls the number on their website. a girl — likely the same one who welcomed him in — answers and asks what she could do for him.

“hey, i was just at the clinic for an appointment with my dog layla. i hope this doesn’t sound weird, but do you think it would be possible to get the number of the vet who saw layla today? just in case anything happens to layla again. you know?”

jake physically cringes as he speaks. way to not sound weird.

“uhm… one moment please.” the girl responds. jake hears whispering on the other side of the call.

what he didn’t know was that you were right next to the girl on call, sorting through some paperwork before you saw your next patient.

“doctor! layla’s owner is calling and asking if he can get your number..?” your secretary whispers.

you whip your head towards her, not believing what you heard. layla’s owner? the cute, fluffy hair guy?

she looks as giddy as you feel, giggling as she raises her eyebrows suggestively. laughing at her, you give her a thumbs up and she’s quick to bring the phone to her ear again.

“hello? yes, the doctor said there’s no problem. do you have something to write with? okay. her number is…”

you smile to yourself as she recites your personal number. a bell rings throughout the clinic, notifying you of your next patient’s arrival. you greet them and lead them to your consultation room and as you close the door your phone buzzes.

unknown number: hi, this is jake. layla’s dad. thanks again for the help today. if you don’t mind, i’d like to take you out sometime?

you bite your lip to suppress your grin. quickly, you reply.

you: i’d love that. date and time?

[rafechubbygf]

rafe cameron x plus size!baddie!chubby!reader

you were the baddie one, but surely, the revenge one. you were the most praised kook ever, because of your daddy’s money. nobody made the most unforgettable, dirtiest, and craziest parties, weirdest as project x ones than you. at first, you were mocked and humiliated, always the center of attention but not for the right reasons and now, you were putting the bullies at your own feet, and you were surely making them hard in your expensive clothes that exposed your curves. some kooks denied the attraction they had for you, others only lived for that.

one day, you were sunbathing on your pool chair, an iced cocktail in your hands, sunglasses on your eyes, luxury hat on your head with a pretty black elbow, the life of a girl who was rich and who had the possibility to use her time as she wanted. you thought you were alone, you wanted to be alone, but someone had burst in front of you.

you knew this face. who didn't know him? it was rafe cameron. the one and only son of ward cameron. one of your father's very close friends.

without shame, he stared at your nice huge boobs which overflowed from your tiny bikini, looking down at your chubby belly. there was no disgust in his eyes. you could even tell he loved it, because he discreetly bit his bottom lip.

“ do you want me to help you daydream about my tits by taking off my top? “

“ so confident about your body. “

“ yes, i love making boys shy. “

he cleared his throat, looking up without being embarrassed.

“ i can bet you’ve never seen one this big.”

“ because you're so aware about my sex routine, yea ? “

“ i know, i'm right. anyway, tell me why are you here, country boy ?”

“ i want to sell drugs at your parties by now. you have all kooks in your house, let me help you make bigger parties. it's a win for the two of us.”

“ i don't need an acolyte. but thanks, sweet proposal, cameron.“

“ but you need a big man. “

you took off your sunglasses.

"you're wrong if you think i need a man. boys like you always humiliated me, thinking i wasn't pretty enough to be respected. so why would i do that for you? what if i say no, rafe ?”

“ absolutly nothing, sweetheart because i will take this for a yes. “

“ do you think i'm scared of you, do you think i can't stand up against you ? “

“ such a big girl, it's supposed to impress me ? do better and harder, you want to show off ? then, perform. “

you rolled your eyes, annoyed by his attitude, while crossing your arms, pressing them against your boobs.

“ also, you're wrong. “

“ about what ? “

“ i like chubby girls. “

“ you're not good at making jokes, rafe cameron. and you just love the curvy sexy side. not the overweight one. “

“ again, you're fucking wrong. “

his look had changed, and his voice tone had become firmer. he was serious. you were starting to doubt.

you always saw boys looking at other girls that you also found pretty, but the way men looked at you made you feel terribly self-conscious before. now you felt better in your body.

“bunny, i can swear i love that plump belly and those fat thighs, and i can go to hell for them.”

“ bunny ? “

“ yes, and trust me, i will make you bounce like them, sweetheart. “

“ what do you mean ? you’re not disgusted by my body?”

“the way your body turns me on, you have no idea, i’m so hard right now. be confident, because my cock is really going to fuck you like you are the most beautiful girl on this earth.”

and then, rafe fucking cameron kneeled at your feet, his hands on your waist, pressing with his fingers your tubby curvy waist, while he kissed your chubby tummy, putting soft kissies on your skin. you can felt the tenderness and warmth covering your pretty belly.

" don't try to fool me, country boy. don't be gentle, when you want nothing that being rough and make me cry.”

“i think your pussy is already crying” he had looking at your dripping fanny and pressed his nose into the fold.

with his fingers, he traced the shape of your fat cunt, pressing on both swollen parts, his thumb against your clit.

“ you're so hot. “

“ and you're so damn hard. “

he pulled your string bikini down to your feet, and you lay down on the pool chair.

"open those legs wide. bunny. i said wider. “

you pushed them aside, revealing your wet pussy. he slipped between your legs, pinning them under his biceps.

“ do you think you can make me cum ? “

“ i will do better than that. what about multiple orgasms, needy girl ? “

he spat on his fingers, before starting to fingering you. you could tell he was good, and it wasn’t the first time he’d done it. his movements were fast, all of your wetness stuck to his fingers as he moved hard into your walls, stretching them. he made your chubby legs tremble on his arms, and your cries became more and more desperate.

"acting like a big girl and now crying like a child, such a pathetic slut."

you didn't respond, your eyes rolling all over the place, while you felt your hole open and clench on his fingers.

he was amused by your noises.

"having fun? you wanted to cry so much? keep dropping those tears, ruin your own dollface, crybaby.”

you were so turned on, your hole was dilated, completely open and his tongue had started to play with your clit, a trickle of saliva slipping to his glistening lips from your arousal fluids at your little button. he had licked it, sucking the pearl harder.

your walls were wrapped around his fingers, the sound steamy and hot of him thrusting inside. you were just a whining mess.

"rafe!...rafe...more!" you cried out.

he moved his digits in and out, you could see his lustrous tongue tucked in your clit, his nose against your pubic. his fingers went deep, covered by your wetness. he had speeded, and started to wreck your count with his big fingers.

“ save your tears, chubby bun, it's the beginning. you think my fingers are big ? fear better of my cock. “

he took off his shorts, tossing it to the side. he was painfully hard. your slobbering lips opened,

he had kissed you, crushing his muscular body against your larger one. you could feel his abs against your belly.

he was an aggressive kisser, kissing your lips violently, possessively.

“ don't kiss me like we are something. “

“ then don't get your pussy soaked like you wanted this more than me. enough talking. “

he made you close your mouth with his tongue, his saliva sliding into yours. you wanted it and you couldn’t deny it anymore. and he understood that.

he had positioned himself between your legs, pressing your thighs against his waist before pushing his cock into your pussy. he gave the first hard thrust, letting out a grunt as he felt how tight and wet you were. you could feel him inside you. his cock was hard to take, but you wanted to make him proud.

your mouth curved into a perfect circle-form, drool falling from your swollen lips. he had started to fuck you deeply, you could feel his hips slapping against your ass, his big balls hitting your thick body. they were full.

you were beautiful, a goddamn plus size hottie kook girl. and you made his heavy fat dick getting monstruous inside you, everytime his tip bumped into your spot. the way your ass jiggles as his deep thrusting, the way all your curves swing harder.

your vision was blurry, because he was fucking you too good. he was sweating. as he filled you, pushing his cock loudly and pounding into your inners so hard that you always ended up letting out a desperate cry. he also touched your curves, tracing their shapes with his fingers, emphasizing how perfect he found them. he also said that from now on, it was his.

"this body belongs to me. and you should really be careful not to forget it, you don't want this to end badly right, bunny?”

your pussy gripped him tighter and tighter, while you held your tits in your hands.

you turned your head quickly to say no. you didn’t want this to end badly but he had grabbed your jaw, gripping it tightly in his hand, forcing your mouth to open and curve, a trickle of saliva slipping from your lip.

“i want a clear answer. i want to hear yes.”

the pleasure was intense, your sensations amplified, the desire became more and more terrible.

your slopping pussy was leaking, and hungry. you could feel every inch of his hard cock, especially when he pushed all the way in.

“ i want to cum…let me cum ! “

“ beg for it and i will see. “

he wanted to continue his thrusts in your pussy. he loved seeing you cry. his sweat ran down his face, a drop glistening on the tip of his nose. his hair was messy, and stuck to his forehead.

“ please…! please…! i'm begging you ! i really need to cum…daddy ?” you tried.

and he had exploded in your walls at the mention of "daddy", making your squirts around his fat dick. your cunt was creamy, mixed with his cum dripping from your slit.

“ what was that ? “

“ what…” you played dumb. “ you mean the daddy thing ? “

“ call me that again and i make your pretty chubby tummy bigger by putting babies inside. “

“ i think you want a next round. “

“ you're right. time to make you pregnant.”

[dippindaz]

I was wondering if mayhaps, possibly, I could place a Steve x Reader Request.

Maybe something were Reader is overweight/chubby(or anything else, really) and used to get bullied by Steve (King Steve era) and they meet again around Season 3/4-ish and he just wants to apologise but she's a little traumatized? Doesn't have to be a happy or romantic ending either, depending on what you prefer.

Feel free to add/change anything, and even if you don't end up writing it (which is totally fine) thank you for taking the time to read this ♥️♥️

(This is my first time requesting anything so I apologise if this comes off a little bit weirdly - English isn't my first language either🙏)

You’re so sweet 🥺❤️ you have nothing to apologize for! I love requests with a bit of detail as they give me something to go off of. I hope you enjoy the fic!

Warnings: Fatphobia, fatphobic nicknames and comments, bullying, lots of insecurity, she/her pro-nouns used

Hawkins High, 1983

Your stomach twisted as you stepped into the crowded hallway, gripping your books a little tighter against your chest. You were used to the looks, the whispered comments that followed you like a shadow. Most of the time, you could ignore them. But when it was Steve Harrington—the so-called “King of Hawkins High”—they were impossible to drown out.

He was leaning against his locker with Tommy H. and Carol, laughing at something she’d just whispered in his ear. You could feel their eyes on you before you even passed them, your heartbeat picking up in warning. Maybe if you just walked faster—

“Hey, watch it, tubby,” Steve’s voice cut through the hallway noise as your shoulder accidentally brushed his on the way past.

Your cheeks burned. A couple of people turned to watch, and you felt small. You kept your head down, pretending you hadn’t heard him.

“Aww, c’mon, don’t be like that.” His voice was dripping with mock sweetness, but it was loud enough to make sure everyone heard. “I mean, I felt that. You trying to knock me over? Jesus, what do you eat, cinder blocks?”

Tommy cackled, Carol snorted, and the humiliation crawled up your throat like bile.

You wanted to say something—wanted to fire back, to tell him to go to hell—but the words stuck, tangled up with every insult you’d ever swallowed down before. Instead, you just clutched your books tighter and kept walking, head low, the sound of their laughter ringing in your ears long after you turned the corner.

———————————————————————————

High school ended, but the scars it left didn’t fade so easily. You’d spent years trying to convince yourself that Steve Harrington’s words—and all the other cruel whispers that followed you through the halls—didn’t matter. That they didn’t shape you. That you weren’t defined by how other people saw you.

But deep down, you knew better.

The echoes of laughter, the way people’s eyes lingered a second too long on your body, the way you learned to shrink yourself even when you took up space—it all stayed. You carried it with you after graduation, past the lockers and classrooms, out into the real world where you were supposed to feel freer.

You never did.

You worked, kept your head down, tried to build a life outside of Hawkins High’s social hierarchy. A life where you weren’t the punchline of some arrogant rich boy’s joke. But self-consciousness was a stubborn thing, wrapping around you like a second skin, making it hard to forget.

———————————————————————————

The mall was overwhelming.

You hadn’t stepped foot in it since it opened, even though half of Hawkins acted like Starcourt was the best thing to happen to the town. The crowds, the bright lights, the sheer newness of it all—it made you uneasy. But your friend had practically dragged you here, insisting that you couldn’t avoid it forever.

“You can’t just keep pretending this place doesn’t exist,” she had said, looping her arm through yours. “Come on, just for a couple of hours?”

And somehow, you had caved.

Now, after wandering in and out of stores, you found yourself standing outside Scoops Ahoy, your friend peering through the glass with an eager grin.

“We have to go in,” she declared. “I’ve been hearing so much about this place.”

Your stomach twisted. You could already see the familiar brown hair beneath the ridiculous blue-and-white hat, the easygoing way he leaned against the counter. You hadn’t seen Steve Harrington in years, not since high school, and you weren’t exactly eager to change that.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” you said, shifting on your feet.

Your friend gave you a look. “Are you serious? It’s just ice cream. And I’m starving.” She grabbed your wrist and started pulling you toward the entrance before you could protest. “Come on, it’ll take like five minutes.”

Five minutes. You could handle five minutes.

The moment you stepped inside the sugary scent of waffle cones filled your nose as kids and families bustled around the counter. Your friend stepped ahead eagerly, scanning the menu, while you lingered a little further back, hoping—praying—that Steve wouldn’t notice you.

But then—

“Welcome to Scoops Ahoy, what can I get—”

His voice cut off.

You knew the second he recognized you. His easy, customer-service smile faltered, his brows pulling together slightly, like he was trying to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him.

You forced yourself to meet his gaze, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.

You weren’t in high school anymore. You weren’t the girl gripping her books in the hallway, avoiding his words like they were bullets. But he wasn’t King Steve anymore, either. He was standing in front of you in a dorky uniform, and for the first time, you saw something in his expression you’d never seen before—

Regret.

“Hey,” he said, hesitant, like he wasn’t sure you’d even acknowledge him.

You swallowed hard, your hands curling into fists at your sides.

You didn’t say hey back.

Instead, you looked away and muttered, “I’ll wait outside,” before turning on your heel and walking out the door, leaving Steve standing behind the counter, his mouth slightly open like he’d wanted to say more.

But he didn’t. Or if he did, you couldn’t hear.

The moment you stepped outside, the air felt different—thicker, harder to breathe, like you’d been sucked into a memory you weren’t ready to relive.

Your friend was still inside, probably placing her order like nothing had happened, like you hadn’t just come face to face with the one person whose words had clung to you for years.

Hey.

That was all he had said. Just a simple, hesitant hey. But it didn’t matter.

Because the moment your eyes met his, it all came rushing back—the sting of laughter echoing down the halls, the way you had clenched your jaw and kept walking, the way his words had burrowed deep into your skin until they felt like truths instead of insults.

“You trying to knock me over? Jesus, what do you eat, cinder blocks?”

Your stomach twisted, and you wrapped your arms around yourself, as if you could physically hold back the wave of self-consciousness threatening to drown you.

It was stupid. You weren’t in high school anymore. You weren’t some insecure teenager trying to disappear behind oversized sweaters and carefully calculated movements to take up less space. You had spent years trying to move past it, trying to tell yourself that you were more than the way people saw you.

But the second you saw him, the second his voice reached your ears, it was like none of that progress had ever happened.

You had felt small again.

No, not small—exposed. Like he could still see every single insecurity he had once poked and prodded at for his own amusement.

You took a shaky breath and dug your nails into your palm, grounding yourself.

He wasn’t that guy anymore. You had heard about Steve Harrington’s supposed transformation, how he had traded in his arrogance for something closer to decency. You had even seen it, in glimpses around town—how he always had that mop of curly-haired kids trailing behind him, how he looked exhausted but softer, different in a way you hadn’t been able to place before.

But none of that changed what he had done.

None of that erased the years of insecurity he had helped carve into you.

And now he wanted to say hey, like you were old friends, like he didn’t remember the way he had made you feel like nothing?

No.

You weren’t ready for this. You weren’t ready for him.

The door swung open behind you, and your friend stepped out, holding two cups of ice cream.

“What the hell was that about?” she asked, frowning as she handed you one of the cups, wrapped in a napkin.

You blinked, forcing yourself to play dumb. “What do you mean?”

She gave you a look. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the part where Steve Harrington looked at you like he’d just seen a ghost and you walked out like the building was on fire?”

You swallowed. “It’s nothing. I just… I didn’t feel like being in there.”

Your friend’s expression softened. “Hey, are you okay?”

Were you?

You wanted to say yes, to brush it off like you always did. But the truth sat heavy in your chest, pressing down like a weight you had carried for far too long.

So instead of answering, you just let out a breath and said, “Can we just go?”

Your friend didn’t push. She nodded, looping her arm through yours again as you walked away from the bright, buzzing mall, leaving Scoops Ahoy—and Steve Harrington—behind.

——————————————————————————

After the run-in at Scoops Ahoy, you had done your best to push it down, to bury the emotions that had been clawing their way up since you saw him. It was just an awkward moment, nothing more. You would move on, just like you had before.

But Hawkins was small, and fate—or something crueler—wasn’t done with you yet.

You had stopped by the pharmacy, picking up a few things, when you turned the corner and nearly walked straight into him

Steve.

Your body tensed before your brain could even process it. He wasn’t in his stupid sailor uniform this time, just a plain t-shirt and jeans, hair still styled but a little messier than you remembered from high school.

His eyes widened the second he saw you, like he couldn’t believe his luck. Or maybe his misfortune.

You immediately looked for an escape route, but before you could step around him, he took a hesitant step forward.

“Hey, wait,” he said quickly. “Can I—can we talk for a second?”

Your heart pounded. You didn’t want to talk to him.

You didn’t want to stand here, face to face with him, and pretend like the past hadn’t happened. Like he hadn’t spent years making you the butt of his jokes, chipping away at your confidence until you barely had any left.

"Just—just one second, please," His voice wasn’t the cocky, mocking tone you remembered. It was softer, almost unsure. "I know you don’t wanna talk to me, and I don’t blame you, but… I need to say this."

You clenched your jaw, looking past him instead of at him.

"You don’t need to do anything, Harrington," you muttered. "I’m fine. It was a long time ago."

"Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter," he said, almost too quickly, like he’d been holding onto the words for days. "Look, I—I was an asshole. A huge asshole. And I know that probably doesn’t even cover it, but…" He exhaled sharply, rubbing a hand over his face. "I’m sorry."

You didn’t say anything.

Because what could you say?

Sorry wasn’t some magic word that erased the past. It didn’t make the years of insecurity disappear. It didn’t stop the way your stomach twisted every time you remembered how he used to laugh at you, how he had made you feel like you weren’t enough.

And yet…

Something about the way he said it, the way his voice wavered slightly, made your chest ache in a way you weren’t ready to confront.

"I don’t expect you to forgive me," he continued when you didn’t respond. "And I sure as hell don’t deserve it. But I just… I needed you to know that I regret it. All of it. The way I treated you, the way I acted back then—I was a complete dick. No excuses."

For the first time, you let yourself really look at him.

He wasn’t King Steve anymore. There was no smug grin, no self-assured arrogance. Just a guy standing in front of you, fidgeting slightly, looking like he was genuinely sorry.

But that didn’t make the pain go away.

"You don’t get to apologize and make it go away, Steve," you said quietly, finally finding your voice. "You don’t get to say ‘I regret it’ and expect me to just—just forget what it was like."

His expression tightened, like your words physically hit him.

"I know," he said, nodding. "I know. And I don’t expect that. I just… I needed to say it. Because you didn’t deserve any of that shit, and I hate that I was part of the reason you—" He cut himself off, hesitating for only a moment before continuing, his voice softer. "I am part of the reason you're hurting, and I'm sorry."

You stared at him, heart still pounding.

You had spent so long resenting him. So long remembering only the bad. And yet, here he was, standing in front of you, not trying to justify it, not trying to downplay it—just… owning it.

You didn’t know what to do with that.

So you just swallowed down the lump in your throat and said, "Yeah. Well. Maybe now you'll know how it felt."

Then you stepped around him and walked away, leaving Steve Harrington standing alone in the pharmacy aisle, his apology lingering in your mind.

Taglist: @starrz2009 @anothersoulless @maximmee @yunnie-f1 @liils-lu @starzfl @lemonysweetheart @DeeSparticus @avengersz-biotch

[justastraymoa]

Yet Unnamed

Chapter 3

Masterlist | Ch 4.

Korean is in italics.

Warnings for Yet Unnamed: Kidnapping, cuffs, injuries, drugging by injection, mentions of needles, lots of swearing, kissing, fluff, angst, idiots in love all around.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest.

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When you woke next, it was morning, and you were in Chan's bed. Well. Your bed. You could smell the unmistakable scent of breakfast foods.

Groaning through a stretch you were awake, but not ready to get out of bed yet. You were warm and comfortable. The mattress on this bed was so good!

Your muscles were sore from stress and using them to the max to fight off the kidnappers. The ache only making itself known after a hot shower and a good nights rest.

"Y/n! Breakfast's ready!" Someone shouted from outside the room.

You groaned again trying to decide if you were hungry enough to get up. Also weighing the odds of the others leaving you alone if you didn't make an appearance soon.

The second question was answered not even a full minute later when your door opened and a mass off messy blonde hair crawled into the bed next to you.

"Did you hear Lino?" Felix asked as he snuggled up to you.

"Mhm. Comfy." You grumble.

"I helped him." Felix revealed with a hint of pride.

You snort. "I remember your attempt at pancakes."

"I've gotten better since then. Been practicing." He whined. The sound made you giggle.

"Is everyone here?" You had met most everyone last night, but you were still nervous today.

Today there would be questions. And small talk. Getting to know each other and not knowing how to act around the other. Talking about the future.

Felix flung a leg over me. "Yah. Hyune and Lino are excited to officially meet you. Lino insisted on carrying you to bed last night and everything."

You blushed at the thought of THE Lee Know carrying you to bed princess style. Your head resting on his chest and possibly drooling all over him. You probably drooled on Felixs lap too. Ugh!

Eventually you both got out of bed.

"You are tiny." Lee Know stated as soon as he saw you.

You look down at your body. You were average height and weight. Overweight by Korean standards for sure. You wouldn't say tiny at all. "Um, thanks?" You weren't sure he meant it as a compliment, but generally being 'tiny' isn't a negative thing.

Lee Know handed me a plate of food. "You need to eat."

You shrugged not arguing. Breakfast is supposed to be the most important meal of the day after all. "Your food is very good." You complimented as you sat and started on your food.

You smirked as Lee Knows cheeks reddened tomato red. He rubbed his nose and turned away with a nod, not saying anything.

Hyunjin sat across from you with a shy smile. You smiled back easily, insides melting at how cutely shy he was being.

Felix sat near Hyunjin, picking at his plate of food instead of getting his own. It was oddly domestic and adorable to watch. And it must have been a normal occurrence because Hyunjin seemed to be moving bits of food closer to Felix for him to grab. Making sure he got a good mix of all the items available.

Everyone chatted idly as you ate but seemed to be giving you some space. You were thankful. Not awake enough yet for the world and its insanity. At the same time, you kinda felt anxious, like the moments before removing a band aid when you know its gunna hurt so you are clenched tight and psyching yourself up.

It was time to rip off the band aid. Proverbially. "I am sorry for kicking you out of your own home last night." You looked at Lee Know, Hyunjin, I.N, and Seungmin when you said this. Even if I.N and Seungmin ended up coming home early.

Hyunjin waved your apology off. "Don't worry about it. Lee Know and I had a wonderful date night." He smiled over at Lee Know when he said this, who had a soft look on his face.

That reminded you of one of your questions regarding this soul bond group. STAYS had theories of course, but neither JYPE nor Stray Kids have ever confirmed any relationships within the group. "So, you two are together?"

Hyunjin nodded and shrugged, mouth full of pancake.

"We are all kind of in an open poly relationship thing with each other." Chan tried to explain.

"We don't so much think about labels as much as being with who we want , doing what we want. What feels right in that moment." I.N helped out.

You nod in understanding. It wasn't unheard of in soul groups. Other famous people have described it as finding the person you needed in that moment. I.N was saying the same.

And it explains why they never confirmed relationships to the media. Honestly STAY loved it though. They could ship whoever they wanted, and they would be right. Even if they didn't know it for sure.

"Is that...is that okay?" Felix asked. He looked worried, studying your facial expressions for a negative reaction.

You smile. "Absolutely. I was just thinking that no matter who STAY shipped they would be right. And we go feral for ships."

"Are you STAY then?" Changbin asked. He was sat close beside you.

You thought about it. You were in kind of an odd position now. "Yes? I mean I was, you know, before. And I guess my love of your music and stage personas hasn't changed."

"And JYP didn't make anything any easier." Bin scoffed.

"He went about it wrong, but he was only trying to help everyone." Chan was trying to play devil's advocate so there wouldn't be a more hostile work environment than usual. It was understandable.

However, Bin was not having any of it. Chans words seemed to piss him off. He snatched my arm and thrust it towards Chan. "He hurt y/n! Kidnapped her, drugged her! Left physical marks on her!" He snapped. Even angry his grip on my arm was gentle, careful of the bruising.

Reminding himself of all this seemed to really upset him and Bin pulled you into his lap, arms around you loosely in case you didn't want to be there.

Your heart skipped about 7 beats and you could feel your face burn, but you didn't move to get off either. As odd and new as all this was, that place in your chest felt good whenever one of them was affectionate with you.

Instead of overthinking it you let yourself lean back into Bins chest, dragging your plate of food closer so you could continue eating.

"I know exactly what he did, Bin. And I said he was wrong. I only meant that his intentions were in the right place."

"Plus, I mean, he did bring y/n to us." Han pointed out.

"And because of what JYP did we almost lost her, and we have to keep her a hidden. Keep her tucked away like a dirty secret." Bin squeezed your middle tighter as he said this, his voice thinning as he talked about almost losing you.

Absentmindedly you rubbed his forearm in comfort. You couldn't exactly say he was wrong. You knew the consequences of anyone finding out how you got to Korea. The kidnapping would linger over the group for a long time.

The room was silent after this. The air thick with sadness and frustration.

"I really want to show you off." Felix mumbled. The broken look on his face squeezed your heart uncomfortably.

"Its not possible. Not right now." You reply into the following silence.

"Easy fix. We show you off! Screw what anyone says!" Lee Know snapped glaring at you.

I looked away. "What he did - how this started - it will always hang over our heads if we let it get out."

"It doesn't have to! You are making it!"

You knew he was lashing out in hurt, but you couldn't help the defensive anger building in your chest. You push away your plate and sat forward. "And when they question our soul bond? When it ends Stray Kids? Everything you have ever worked for. It's dangerous enough even keeping me hidden!"

The reminder of the consequences seemed to bring everyone up short. You don't think anyone really thought that far ahead. Didn't think of how the world and its harshness would tear apart everything they were everything you all were.

Chan took a shaky breath. "She is right. It would end Stray Kids, and we can't risk it."

Lee Know hit the table with his fist before storming off, a door slamming a couple seconds later making me flinch lightly in surprise.

Sighing and blinking back frustrated tears you pat Bins hand before standing up. "I'm going to go talk to him." You whisper.

"Third door." Seungmin responded.

You knocked on my door lightly, knowing everyone was listening. "Lee Know?" You called.

"Go away!" Came the reply.

"Do you really want that?" You would leave if he wanted, but for some reason you didn't think that was what he really, truly wanted.

There was silence before the door opened just enough for Lee Know to pull you in and shut the door again firmly.

You immediately had and armful of Lee Know as he wrapped around you and hid in your hair with a suspiciously wet sniff.

"Just got you and I don't want to leave you behind."

You rubbed his back gently. "I'm sorry, Lee Know. I can't be the reason all your hard work goes to waste."

"What's the point of it? It won't ever feel like we are whole when we are away!"

"You will still have each other. That will never change. And you will always come back to me."

"It hurts. Without you, it hurts. It's like you are the center - the heart of our soul group. And it hurts when you aren't with us."

You knew it hurt, you knew because even thinking and talking about them leaving you behind hurt. But there was no other way. Not until someone came up with a way to hide your origin story.

"You will get used to the hurt eventually. And you will be too busy while you are working to really notice it. It will become normal." Even if you never wanted it to feel normal. You never wanted to be left behind, abandoned all alone in this apartment. In this country and city you didn't know.

Lee Know didn't answer, just kept holding onto you, sniffing occasionally.

Your moment was interrupted by raised voices from out in the living room. Sounds of slamming and shouts in Korean muffled through the closed door you were behind. You pulled apart and glanced at each other before leaving the room cautiously. Lee Know took the lead, hand reaching back to keep you behind him and so he knew where you were.

What - or rather who - you saw made you wish you stayed in the bedroom.

JYPs nasty self stood in the doorway.

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A/N: I had originally planned on posting every Friday. However, I can already see that I am not going to stick to that.

Since this one is already written and all I am doing is typing it up and changing/adding things as I go, I am already up to chapter 7 being ready to be posted and it makes me itch to have them just sit them.

That being said, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and look forward to more in the future. (the near future most likely)

Yet Unnamed Taglist: @fackeraccount @velvetmoonlght @hyunjinstolemyheart @vampkittenb82 @happy-jj @estella-novella @demigoddreamon-blog @tiana-maxivar @ms-flowergirl @jennibahng @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @mimimiloomeelomi @simpforskz143148 @xxeiraxx @lil-bear08 @brbwritingfanfic

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght

[ros3ybabes]

Fall 24' Workout Split 🎀

So my friend and I got a gym membership together BUT have been overworked by our jobs and are tired pretty often, so I've created a workout split (for myself) that takes into account what days her and I are going to the gym and then some at home workouts! The days her and I are supposed to go to the gym, IF we don't, there's a fitness center at my apartment that would be perfect to utilize as a backup!

A bit about my fitness/aesthetic goals ( I will be discussing body image, so please DON'T READ if that info would hurt or upset you at all <3 take care of yourselves)

I want a mix of a pilates princess/muscle mommy physique. I'd love full, round glutes and juicy quads and hamstrings, but a slimmer, more lean, and toned top and arms. I am currently overweight (honestly, obese, if I'm being truthful with myself. I'm 5'3, btw) with a large chest and thick ish upper arms. I want to lose weight, tone up, and grow my glutes. Definitely doable with some nutrition fixes and work in the gym!

My Weekly Workout Split:

Monday - Gym - Glutes + Hamstrings

Tuesday - At Home - Full Body Pilates

Wednesday - Gym - Glutes + Quads

Thursday - At Home - Arms + Core Pilates

Friday - Gym - Full Lower Body Glutes

Saturday - At Home Yoga + Cardio

Sunday - At Home Yoga (Optional Cardio)

Daily Things:

8,ooo+ steps a day

5mg creatine daily

track macros (90g+ protein goal daily)

90oz+ water intake daily!!! (super important for the creatine)

(attempt) 15-30+ minutes of walking outside or treadmill a day

I am so excited for this split and really hope it helps me set a nice routine! I've found it difficult to get into routine lately, but I am confident I can figure it out soon. Journaling, skincare, self care, and physical movement are all things I'm incorporating back into my life, and I can't wait to feel like myself again! <3

til next time lovelies 🩷

[alphajocklover]

I'm a cosplayer, as you can see on my profile picture. It's a mix-match of everything I like from the wolf-bone mask, the balaclava, and the snazzy blazer and slacks with gold pins. Added latex gloves to really feel eldritch for Halloween.

But of course, under that blazer still needs a layer of fabric to absorb my sweat, so I got this tank top from a nearby bundle I wear.

I'd like to know what tricks you can put up my sleeves.

You were never one to pat yourself on the back, but you couldn't help yourself. This had to be your best cosplay yet! You didn’t have a specific character in mind like for some of your past cosplays, but you were loving how this one was turning out. You had known this was going to be a great cosplay since the moment you saw that wolf bone mask in that store, and you were right. After all your work, all you needed was one last thing: a tank top.

You were honestly a little embarrassed you hadn’t thought of it earlier. As an experienced cosplayer, you probably should have guessed that the heavy blazer would need something under it to absorb sweat, but it hadn’t crossed your mind until you had tried on the costume the day before you were supposed to show it off at the convention! Now you were scrambling to find a well fitting, absorbent tank top that wouldn’t make the sweating worse. That wouldn’t be so hard… if you hadn’t had this realization around one in the morning, when most shops were closed. You had been in a bit of a panic at first, but in a stroke of luck you had found a small second hand clothing store nearby. You were a bit surprised at first, since you thought you knew most of the thrift stores in the area, but you were too relieved to properly question it. You grabbed the tank top, a classic white wife beater, and went into the changing room.

You did you best to ignore the mirror in the room as you stripped off your regular shirt. You never talked about it, but you were fairly insecure about your body. There wasn’t anything wrong with your body. You weren’t overweight or even particularly scrawny, you were just… average. But whenever you looked at yourself in the mirror all you could focus on is what you weren’t. You looked at your body and saw a body that was too small, too lithe, too awkward and just… not enough, in any way. That was one of the reasons you never cosplayed athletic characters. You always worried people would make the comparison. You pushed these thoughts to the back of your head as you slid on the wifebeater. The second it settled on your body, you felt like everything changed.

You stared at yourself in the mirror in shock as muscles began to pack onto your body. Your shoulders widened, giving your body a manly v shape as your pecs shoved out into a beefy shelf. You felt your stomach cramp as abs popped into existence, and almost drooled as your biceps grew absolutely huge, flexing them experimentally as you felt a smattering of hair grow across your body and on your face. You couldn’t believe it. It was like your body had been completely inverted. Everything you used to hate about yourself was gone, replaced by pure masculine sexiness. You even felt your mind change, memories of sports and confidence mixing in with those of cosplaying and creativity. You were still you, just… idealized. You were perfect, absolutely perfect. You swaggered out of the changing room, paying for the wife beater with a generous tip and a flirty wink, before heading out to the gym. You had to see how well this thing absorbed sweat, and how hot your muscles looked with a nice pump.

The bad news is that you’re going to have to make some emergency alterations to your cosplay so that it will fit your new, beefy body. The good news is that you're so hot that you could wear anything and still look good. Maybe you’ll just go to the party shirtless. It’d definitely be a good way to pick up chicks!

[tobeabatman]

Freeform fat activist post

Did you know that weight discrimination has increased by 66 % during the last decade and is one of the only forms of discrimination actively condoned by society? (From Adressing weight stigma and fatphobia in public health by Amanda Montgomery, RD, LDN, at publichealth.uic.edu)

And it’s like, it makes me so mad. It makes me so angry to see a bunch of thin people spreading bs without our fat people’s opinions, worsening the social conditions of people like me. It makes me mad that the first time I experienced medical fatphobia was at age 7. It makes me mad that it feels like there’s nothing I can do.

I can’t go to public transport without hearing casual fatphobia, I can’t study without hearing fatphobia, I can’t go online without seeing fatphobia, I can’t even film certain things online because of fatphobia.

I try escapism. I read a bunch of books: No fat characters, casual fatphobic comments.

I watch a bunch of videos on Youtube: Most fat creators are disencouraged from filming by either the algorithm or by viewers. The left-over thin creators casually act like fat people are lesser-than, when something triggers the topic of fat people.

I flinch, I wait, whenever a topic comes up that could possibly elicit fatphobia. The word ”lifestyle choices” makes my heart beat just a bit faster.

At school, I have to sit through an entire 115 minute lesson on how fat people should lose weight. I am the only ”obese” kid in class, there is one overweight person besides me.

I can’t look the teacher in the eye for the whole class. All my future lessons I sit in his class thinking, ”You don’t say it out loud, but I think you think of me differently than my thin classmates”.

I surround myself activism. Disability justice, anti-racism, feminism, -ism -ism. Justice is important to me.

..But I notice there’s no attention to people like me. Even though there’s so many different communities, fat people have a small and incomplete one. Even my leftist friends don’t note our struggles.

I continue my activism, but I’m getting more tired.

Someone lists different communities, says that medical bias is bad against those groups. I notice that mentioning fat people would fit right alongside those other communities. But I remember we’re invisible.

Another person says that confidence is sexy. I think it must be easy to see it that way if you’re not statistically more likely to have lower self-esteem.

Third person is concerned about my mental health for living in a fatphobic society. ”Who am I supposed to get help from?” I ask. Body-positive therapists are easy to find, but most of them don’t understand the pressure of living in a body hated by most.

—

The future I want is where no one is oppressed. That includes fat people. Get rid of your ”what about” thinking, and realize that fat people are human too.

And if you’re fat, then you deserve none of the sh*t this world has manipulated you into thinking you deserve (until you change your body, of course). I know you most likely had super low self-esteem growing up, maybe you got bullied, maybe that bullying continued into your work life.

I wish I could say it gets better, that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. But for that, we need the help of everyone. Are you willing to help?

Thank you for reading.

[fayamn-moonlit]

mid-20s tgirl here, all my life i was never “in shape” but always skinny. other than brief flirtations with stuffing when i was fresh out of high school, i have also always been a feeder, i never thought the feedee life would be for me… until i put on 25 pounds this year without even meaning to. i didn’t think it was such a big deal, but once i realized i was formally “overweight”, it was like a switch flipped…

i’ve spent the last 5 days in a row recklessly stuffing myself with thousands of excess calories a day, feeling my poor overfed gut form new stretch marks, overflowing my clothes just a bit more every day, unable to hide my arousal when i feel my belly wobble from basic movements. i look chubby when i haven’t eaten and borderline pregnant when i have, since every meal is a challenge to add another thousand calories. in just a few days i went from thinking i was perfectly average, even if maybe i thought i could stand to drop some weight, to suddenly being desperate to be fed and teased for what i’m doing to myself.

i still am nervous about getting too far into this lifestyle, i think about how so many things about my life and interactions with others will change if i keep going… but a part of my brain says it’s already too late and it’s time to embrace what i was supposed to be all along... what do you think?

Nice one. You absolutely know what you wanna hear and want more excuses to give in. I'm not gonna deny you that, give in. You're already rolling down the hill of depravity, and you're only making yourself more orb-like to roll down faster. You're explaining to a teasy feeder just how shameful your year has been as if you're expecting anything except what you truly crave for: hot berating that turns you on and make you want to grow more into the fatass you're destined to be.

It's always been too late sweetie, you had it in you, congrats. Why do you think you gained in the first place? The mind is truly a fascinating thing, you won't admit to yourself you were already on your way to feedeehood.

Now, cutie, you're gonna be a big adorable feedee~ Put on some nice curves and then some more ;3

[sunonwaxyleaves]

After hanging out with Sirius’ little brother for a few months now - sometimes the three of them but more and more just the two of them - James first realizes he’s in love with Regulus on a summer night with cheeks warm from sunburn and sweet red wine. They’re on an old leather couch at a party Sirius is throwing at the Potter’s beach house, and Regulus rests his head on James’ shoulder with a deep, heavy sigh. Absolutely plastered, he mutters in defeat, “I think I’m now ready to admit that I’ve probably missed my chance at becoming a mermaid.” James wants to laugh until his stomach cramps, wants to kiss him on his peeling lips and point out that Regulus turns 21 in just one week, what does he mean he’s willing to admit this now, but instead he shrugs lightly and rests his head on Regulus’. He says in that cocky voice of his that makes far too many people swoon, “You’d be the prettiest mermaid of them all” and Regulus would roll his eyes even though James couldn’t see, he’d bury his head further into James’ neck, and tell him “Yeah, James, obviously”.

And then a week would pass, the morning of Regulus’ 21st birthday, and he’d wake up before anyone else and sneak out of the house for his morning run. Sometimes on the really hot days, like the day of his 21st birthday, he’d cool off in the ocean before walking back to the house, the walk long enough to let the sun dry him a bit.

Except this time was different.

Regulus runs and jumps into the ocean, does a few slow strokes atop the rolling waves, then promptly begins to scream bloody murder in the blink of an eye; his legs have become so heavy it’s as if an overweight adult man is clinging to him. He twists and turns his body, lifts his cement legs up to see what the fuck is going on, freezes, starts drowning, then screams even as his mouth fills with saltwater.

Where his legs are supposed to be - where they used to be - there is now a beautiful emerald mermaid tail with scales that glitter tiny rainbows like the polish on his finger nails.

A mile away, the split second Regulus screams the first time, James wakes from a deep slumber with a gasp so sharp it throws him into a coughing fit. He drinks from the glass of water on his bedside table and grabs his phone before leaning back onto the fluffy pillows, pulling up his messages to text the birthday boy.

(7:02am) Happy birthday Reggie!!!! 21 WOOHOO!!!!!

(7:03am) Are u back from ur run?? Do u want blueberry or chocolate chip pancakes?

(7:04am) Had the craziest dream last night. Need to tell u all about it over some Potter Pancakes(;

(7:26am) Reggie??

(7:38am) Sirius said u never came back from ur run is everything okay???

(7:41am) Ur freaking me out Reg can u pls respond

(7:55am) Wherever u are: STAY THERE

(7:55am) I’m coming to find u. Call me when u see these, pls pls please

(8:06am) Where the fuck are you, Regulus?????

[girl-failure]

Transwoman needs answers

this isnt an easy post to write and it's going to be full of info about me that's personal and embarassing but I am desperate for answers and assitance so please bear with me. Long story short, im almost 3 years hrt (may 19th will be exact) and it's like nothing has changed. More info under the cut.

I'm going to try and explain everything to the best of my memory, but exact dosages and stuff might be fuzzy and inexact. I began HRT on May 19th 2021, when I was 22. I took one and a half 2mg pills, twice (morning and night) daily. I took them sublingually. I was also prescribed Spironolactone, though the exact dose escapes me (i remember it was 1 pill nightly). I had only come out as trans in the December the previous year, so i considered myself unfathomably lucky to get to start so soon. I had done this through informed consent at a planned parenthood and was excited by the possibility of a future where my own body didn't make me want to die. The idea of changing my body gave me a feeling of control in my life that had been entirely absent until that point. I knew I wanted all the help I could get with breast development (the women in my immediate family are well endowed) and I had read & heard from other trans women that prog could help, but I'd have to wait to ask for it.

I think it was on December 15, 2021, I was officially prescribed 100 progesterone nightly. At this point I had began to notice softer skin, lighter hair, the few bits of acne left over from high school had gone entirely, and the inklings of breasts beginning to form. My libido had all but dissipated entirely at that point, but I was told (mostly by other trans women) it would come back, especially after starting prog, and that my body would likely experience pleasure differently, and that my orgasm would be very different. The fat from my stomach (i wasn't overweight or underweight, i was pretty average for a man my height, but I did have a masculine stomach I despised) hadn't relocated at all, but I knew HRT wasn't a sprint, but a marathon, and I had a long way to go. This continued for a long time, eventually i would be bumped up to two 2mg of E (sublingual pill) twice daily (8mg total), and my Spiro would change to 200mg a day EDIT: My Spiro dosages did fluctuate, though again I don't recall the exact dosages, (I initially got it confused with my prog dosage, sorry), though there was the occasional few week period where I'd be bumped back down to one and a half E pills because I had timed my blood-work poorly. It had been a while since starting HRT and I was starting to worry. My libido never came back, I was unable to feel the sensation of pleasure entirely, my breasts & nipples never became sensitive or had growth pains, and my breasts really hadn't grown at all. My stomach still made me feel awful and masculine because fat continued to pile up there instead of in the feminine places I was told and led to believe it should!!! I was scared and frightened and upset. I'd say I developed an eating disorder but my eating was already disordered. I was afraid of food. Afraid it'd just make me look manly, instead of going to my hips/waist/whatever and breasts like it was supposed to. I began to feel like the hrt that was supposed to save my life was just making me feel worse.

On October 23rd, 2023, I finally started seeing a doctor again after 9 years of not being able to afford it, and only then because a parent got insurance through their work. I was officially prescribed Estradiol Valerate (.3mL intramuscular, and the bottle itself is 20mg/mL) , and quit Spiro outright. Now that I was talking to a doc, especially one who had been working with trans people in my area for years, I was starting to have hope again that maybe injections would solve my problems. After all, they're supposed to be more powerful right? Well after some blood-work revealing that my T levels were so low they were undetectable, we started fiddling with my injection dosages. I went down to .25mL. Nothing changed. I went down to .2ml. Nothing changed. I stayed at .2mL and was prescribed a med called EstraTest (.625mg E and 1.25mg T), a single pill which has both E and T in it, to try and raise my T levels back to measurable levels and hopefully find that golden ratio of E and T where maybe my body will start working again and start changing. But that brings us today. I still don't feel any sensation of pleasure (masturbating is pointless, intimacy just feels like I'm disappointing my partner), let alone a female orgasm (which as embarrassing as it is to admit, I was really looking forward to), my nipples still don't get sensitive and my chest doesn't get sore or get growing pains. My breasts look the same way they did 4 months into hrt. I've still had practically no fat redistribution, though I've gotten better about eating and not being afraid of food. I'm even beginning to notice my acne slowing starting to come back. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Why has nothing worked? Why does it feel like I'm regressing? I lost my health insurance earlier this week, and I can't afford to see my doctor again with my dumb pizza delivery job, so I haven't been able to ask to try anything more drastic to try and fix these issues. My current theories are that maybe my body is just more resistant to E? Which would be awful, but might be handled by just tripling my dose or something? Or

that my receptors are fried, and that the only solution would be to stop taking my HRT for a while (maybe even a long while). I pray that isn't the case, because I'd sooner off myself then let my body regress any further.

So this is a call for help. If anyone has any idea what could be causing these problems for me, or knows how I might be able to fix them, PLEASE let me know. I've lost hope in having a future as a woman, or even just feeling apathy towards my body (instead of intense self-loathing) at this point.

Here's my ca$happ if anyone wants to throw some money my way and maybe I'll be able to see the doctor again. cash.app/$occultChloe

[dufferpuffer]

Ngl i’m a bit confused with your problem with Mark Williams playing Arthur Weasley. Are you mad about his physical appearance or the way he was written? Do you think he’s “dopey” because he’s not as skinny as you pictured him?

It isn't to do with his weight - it's to do with his facial expressions, way he portrays key information, lack of importance in the script and general costuming and style. So it is a mix of both his appearance and his writing. But I'm gonna talk about his appearance here. I'm not surprised you're confused about what I say, I rarely make any bloody sense lol my thoughts jump about

Mark Williams, for the scripts he was given, acted. I think he did a decent job at portraying the basic character he was written to be. That's more than I can say for Gary Oldman as Sirius Black lol

But he probably shouldn't have been cast at all, because Arthur's general character design was different to him for reasons.

If he was dressed up to portray something similar to the books tone for the character it would have been okay - his weight and height aren't the biggest deal by themselves. It's everything coming together that bothers me.

It's the colours and clothes they dress him in. The messy thick hair. That 'politely confused' expression he pulls. The fact he is so visually similar to Molly when he is so distinctly different. In the movies he is visually portrayed as 'Molly's soft husband' compared to her 'Fiery but sweet Matriarch'. That isn't who he is.

They didn't even give the intelligent, sharp, quick-witted eccentric nerd his glasses like what

Alan Rickman was overweight. Severus didn't come off as dopey. His character design for the movie was great not because it was accurate - it wasn't accurate - It was just designed well with regards to the sort of man Severus was supposed to be.