#supergirl ao3

[jazznicoleproductions]

Weaponizing One’s Love: The Long Awaited Date

Pairing: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor

Ao3: Chapter Ten

Chapter Summary: With the drama from Lillian and Lex's antics having subsided, Lena and Kara finally have to face the issues brought up by the chaos. Lena rejects the gift the Kryptonian had given her months ago, stating that she doesn't deserve it. Kara is left reeling, feeling that her superheroine identity may cost her the one thing she wants most. And after some last-minute intrusions, thanks to Lillian meddling with Kara's boss, forcing her to interview the youngest Luthor about the attack, they have their date. Unfortunately, it doesn't go as smoothly as planned. Kara listens to Lena about working with kryptonite. And with some hesitation, agrees to let her work with it. If only to avoid the claustrophobic suit. But just as things settle down, Lena discovers that the Kryptonian kept her suit on, setting her into defensive mode. And with her walls going up, Kara begs her to let her in and show her what she sees.

[chairhere]

*sees a tag i don’t normally click on* ah fuck it what’s the worst that could happen

[ekingstonart]

“Here they are. We have a few different lines of toys here, different sizes, and the squeakers themselves vary from brand to brand. Some of these are very loud.”

—from Treats and Collars on ao3

Thank you so much @makicarn for commissioning me to illustrate this scene from @trashpandato’s ADORABLE fic! It has been an absolute pleasure working with/for you both!

[ciggrtte]

supercorp kiss :)

[jennywebbyart]

I made a couple of drawings for lostariels to say thank you for the beautiful stories that she writes on Ao3. My favourite is ‘queen of hearts’.

While I was looking at the drawings, I realise that she needs more credit. so I thought I will post only one of the artwork I did. Please send appreciation to @lostariels for all of her fantastic supercorp fanfic that she writes.

[thatonebirdwrites]

Cheating Death Part 4 - End

Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3

Epilogue

Finally, after weeks under intensive medical care, she was cleared to go home. Her recovery was far from over. Lena didn't look forward to the intense physical and occupational therapy in store, but at least she could rest in a more comfortable space. Have a bit more freedom.

Alex had insisted on taking her home, though Kara had walked with them until she received a Supergirl call. Lena understood now why Kara randomly took off, and with that understanding came a slow acceptance.

The door swung open at the press of her thumb against the keypad. Alex pushed her wheelchair, and shut the door with her foot behind them. They made it almost to the sofa when the shouts erupted around them.

"Surprise!"

Lena nearly fell out of her chair at the sudden noise. People leaped out from behind the sofa, tumbled out of the kitchen, and poured in from the hallway. They were all there: Kara, Brainy, Nia, J'onn, Kelly, and even Sam and Ruby.

"Welcome home!" Alex said with a grin, meaning she was in on this too.

Lena had no idea what to make of this. She'd never had a surprise... anything before in her life. "Um, thanks?"

Ruby nearly bounded into Lena's lap with her fervent hug. "I'm so glad you're home! We were so worried when we found out." She pulled back with a teary smile. "You gotta stop almost dying on us. Because we need you here, you're family, and Mom and I sort of just got here today, so all I have is this card." She handed it over and put her hands behind her back.

Lena opened it to the words, "We love you. Please try not to die again. Or we'll drag your sorry ass back to the world of the living." The asterisk after 'ass' had a note at the bottom that read, "Ruby was allowed this one curseword in honor of you."

Lena smiled and ran her fingers over the handwriting, some of it Ruby's and some Sam. Why they bothered, she didn't know, considering how she'd ghosted them. She took a deep breath to try to stop the urge to cry. "Thank you, Ruby. I love you both too."

Sam walked up behind her daughter and smiled, her eyes glistening. "Kid has a point." She leaned forward and gave her a half hug, planting a kiss on the side of her head. "I'm glad to see you up. We've been so worried."

She handed Lena what looked like a phone at first glance, until she saw the hinge. Opening it revealed a note that read: "Answer your phone! <3 xxxoo Sam." Under it was one of her guilty pleasures, a very specific hard candy only sold in Ireland.

"Sam..." Lena didn't know what to say. She wiped away tears, frustrated with herself. Since her near death and disablement, she'd become a weepy fool. "Thank you. I'll be better about staying in touch. I promise."

As the others moved forward, one at a time to greet her and welcome her home, Lena found herself smiling and dissolving into tears yet again. She wasn't used to this much care, and it still felt unreal. Like the shoe could drop at any moment, and yet it didn't.

Alex had continued to care for her, Kara and the others had continued to visit, and now that Lena was cleared to rest at home? Here they all were being the sappiest people she'd ever met.

"Make sure you kiss your beefcake," Nia whispered as she dropped a box of chocolates on Lena's lap. "She set this up, and I kind of have money on the line, so give a girl some help?"

Lena laughed, but she couldn't stop herself from sneaking a look at Kara who stood, swaying back and forth on her heels, as she waited impatiently. "Sure, Nia."

Alex gave her a backpack of all things. "Hey, don't give me that look," the director said with a cluck of her tongue. "Think of all the science-y things you can stuff in this thing and loop onto your wheelchair. Nothing will stop you now."

She lightly swatted Alex's arm. "Maybe if I was five, but really, thank you." At least the bag was black, so it matched the chair's coloration.

Kelly's gift was perhaps the most useful. A tool to grab things from afar. Lena immediately snapped it in Alex's direction, who danced out of reach with a scowl. "It's perfect," she said with a grin.

"I know you have a long recovery in store," Brainy said with a bow of his head. "But I will give you access to my favorite..." he glanced at Nia, "... toys as Nia calls them." He held out a small, palm-sized square. "Press your thumb and a holographic interface, encrypted for our communication and projects, will appear."

Lena couldn't resist. She pressed her thumb, and the interface swirled around her, filled with all sorts of delicious programs. "Holy shit, Brainy. Thank you. This is a delight." She pressed her thumb again, and it vanished.

J'onn stepped forward and bowed his head. "I wish to apologize for my actions in not bringing you in sooner. You've always been one of the best of us, and so I offer you the aid of my community. We have had many soldiers wounded in battle, and I will gladly aid in your recovery. So that you may find the mobility that fits your needs."

Lena studied the stoic man and thought back to something Kara had said to her. "You're a good swordfighter?" When he nodded, she smiled. "I was nearly an Olympic fencer. That's my goal. To recover enough to challenge you to a duel."

He bowed to her. "I accept."

Kara came last, of course. "Hey you." She knelt and wrapped Lena in a tight hug. Lena leaned her head against Kara's shoulder and breathed in her usual vanilla scent.

The pain hadn't full healed between them, but they were taking little steps. And with each one, Lena settled into the reality that Kara wasn't some omnipotent do-no-wrong-god, but a trauma-filled, messy alien who feared loss almost as much as Lena did.

That's one thing the past few weeks in Alex's medical ward taught her: perfection didn't exist, and that's okay. It was okay to be imperfect. She'd still be loved for who she was, even despite her sometimes bratty, petty nature.

Kara pulled back and kissed Lena's forehead. "I made this." She handed her a cylinder with lines and dots on all sides. "It's a puzzle box like what my father made. Give you something to do as you heal."

"Kara," she leaned her head against Kara's shoulder. "God, I love you so much," she whispered. "Thank you."

"I love you too." Kara carded her fingers through her hair. Lena gladly took the brief moment to recalibrate herself for more people interaction. Alex's words hovered in her head, "I need you to recognize your limits."

She took stock of her pain, her emotional bandwidth, and decided she could handle an hour. Then she'll ask to go to the bedroom. Plan in place, she pulled back from Kara with a smile.

She blinked away her tears. "Thanks to all of you. Now, I'd like to sit down on the sofa, if you don't mind?"

Kara chuckled and gently scooped Lena into a bridal carry. Her face flushed, likely as pink as her own. "As you wish, milady."

Alex groaned at that while Nia cackled.

Settled on the sofa, Lena leaned back into the cushions in relief. Fatigue plagued her still, and the pain simmered despite the pain meds. Still, she was much improved than a week ago. This ordeal had taught her that even small steps were worthy victories.

"So you ready for cake? Because all welcome home parties need cake." Kara practically hopped from foot to foot.

"Sure, Supergirl," Lena drawled. "Better fly me the best."

"Oh, you betcha. Straight from Belgium." Kara sounded quite proud of herself.

"Kara..." Alex pressed her palm against her face.

"Supergirl?" Sam echoed, her eyebrows raised.

"Wait a second," Kelly looked around, surprised. "Kara is Supergirl???"

Well, it was nice to know she wasn't the last one told after all.

***

Six months later

Lena gripped the bars, most of her weight on her arms. Her legs trembled beneath her, her right foot turned slightly to the left. Kara stood at the other end of the torture session with a grin. "Come on, Lena, you can do this."

"Oh shut up." Lena growled, but there was no heat in her words, only a deep affection. She carefully took a step, and her leg held. A tingling sizzled up her leg muscles, but she didn't crumple. Slowly, she lifted and plopped her other foot down. That one proved weaker than the other, so she leaned into the bars more.

"Remember to breathe." Her physical therapist stood behind her ready to catch if she fell.

She took a deep breath and managed another step. The rhythm of walking felt strange, like a foreign language she'd forgotten after months of using a wheelchair.

Since the attack, she'd kept a low profile. Sam returned as temporary CEO, and Alex proved to be just as protective of her as she was of Kara. Nia's article of the attack won the public's favor for Lena, which had been a nice, short boost for L-Corp.

So she slowly made her way down the bars, each step mores stable than the last. Her muscles screamed at the effort, but she pushed forward, determined.

Kara, as always, lived up to her promise and stayed at her side. Assisted her lab work. Accepted with grace the occasional microscope she threw at her head. Since becoming an independent writer and science consultant, Kara spent more and more time at her penthouse, and it had started to fill up with knickknacks, paintings by Kara, Kara's clothes randomly strewn over chairs, and a kitchen full of enough food for a hungry Kryptonian.

Lena knew she wasn't always the best partner. Sometimes Kara and her fought bitterly, but they'd learned to come together and talk it out. To share space for one another's feelings. To tentatively explore what being together really looked like.

All a step at a time.

Her trek reached the end of the bars, and there Kara stood, her arms out stretched.

"You did it! I told you so," Kara said with a delighted laugh.

Lena leaned forward and let herself fall into Kara's embrace. She looked up and smiled at her lovable dork. "I suppose I owe you that ice cream, my love," she said, wryly.

Kara nodded and brushed her nose against Lena's. "You sure do."

Lena placed her hand on Kara's cheek and kissed her lips. As she pulled back, she smiled at the goofy dazed expression Kara always wore when Lena sneaked a kiss.

"I'll make it two, for being such a good motivator." Behind her the physical therapist cleared her throat. Lena chuckled and for the first time in her life, she actually felt happy.

She'd cheated death yet again and won a girlfriend from it. Quite the bargain when all was said and done.

[allgreekbitch]

hi i posted a silly supercorp fic x

[corpluthor]

She’s a pirate for the @supercorpbb a pirates of the caribbean AU

Link oa3:

[a-timely-problem]

/ comes up to you in a bar wearing a cowboy hat/

Not to sound queer, but how 'bout that blonde and brunette pairing with lots of potential that never got together?

[autisticlenaluthor]

Lena

TW: mentions of drowning, dissociation, 4-year-old Lena in intense distress, and witnessing a dead body

The sky above the lake is painted black with a heavy brush– cut through only by the gray clouds rumbling above it. The moon, which used to be so clear, now hides behind the fog. It pokes out every so often to make the smallest of appearances, reminding Lena it’s still there.

At night the trees, all tall and stocky, look more like people than plants. They’re skinny giants with lanky limbs and their eyes are stuck on the little girl standing at the shore. It’s all Lena can seem to think about– how the air is so cold and her mom isn’t holding her anymore. She’s alone again as they watch her, waiting for the right moment to pounce. 

Her mom always tells her monsters aren’t real. She checks the closets and under the bed every night before bedtime just in case. She always tells her they’re safe.

But the glimmering water they spend every Sunday dipping their toes in just swallowed her whole and sucked up all the air bubbles with her. The waves they paddled in together under shining skies had turned dark and suddenly, the world was upside down. 

The lake was their spot. The water belonged to them. And now, her mom belongs to the water. 

Lena stares straight ahead of her, as she’s done since the sun was still shining, and holds pieces of her swimsuit in her fingers.

The material is mostly dry now. It hangs loose on her body– the damp spots making her shiver whenever they meet her skin. Mom had told her she would grow into it. Lena isn’t sure. 

She isn’t sure that the trees won’t come to life and finally attack. Isn’t sure she’ll ever be able to move again. Isn’t sure if any of this is real at all or if it’s just another bad dream she needs to wake up from. 

Lena hopes it is. She hopes her mom is at the other end of it– ready to pick her up and rock her back to sleep. 

As Lena tries to find the strength to pull her swimsuit away from her, she can hear something crunching behind her. It sounds like footsteps in the gravel only louder. It makes her wonder if the Monster Trees have decided to come for her– if they think she isn’t aware of their plans to take her too.

“Hey!” A deep voice calls out to her. “Hey, are you alright?” 

More footsteps approach. They’re shining a light now too – a big one. It makes Lena shiver even harder and her stomach twist. When did it get so cold? 

“Hey– kid.”

Slowly, Lena turns her head and wrinkles her eyes at the white beams hitting her. There’s an ambulance in front of her– over by the edge of the trail. It looks like the ones that sometimes drive by their cottage, to the house at the end of the road where Mrs. Porter lives. Mom says it’s because she’s so old, she gets sick very easily now. Sometimes, she needs help making it to the doctor. 

“Hey…” The voice softens. 

Lena squints at it– the light is getting unbearable– and tries to step backward. But her legs have forgotten how to move and the stones beneath her are so slippery. She stumbles in her haze and her feet slide beneath her. She falls hard onto her bottom. 

A noise escapes as Lena looks down at herself. Her fingers dig into the sand, grasping piles of pebbles and sea glass.

“It’s okay– I’m not gonna hurt you.”

But it does hurt– her legs and her arms and her eyes and everything else. There’s pain shooting through her hips– the rocks are so hard. And as Lena’s fingers tighten around the pebbles, cutting deep into her skin, she can feel her face getting hot. Her jaw clenches and quivers beneath the tension so hard it feels like it might snap in half. 

She should be crying, Lena thinks to herself. 

It hurts worse than it did when she fell off her scooter in the street last week. But the tears don’t fall. It’s like her brain can’t remember how. 

“Oh… sweetheart, you okay?”

When Lena looks up, she sees the man with the voice crouching down in front of her. He’s wearing big green pants and an orange vest that glows in the dark. They crinkle when he moves– like plastic bags being smushed together. 

“Are you cold?” He asks, holding out a silver square for her. When Lena doesn’t move, he unfolds it and it transforms into some sort of tin-foil sheet. “It’s okay– you can stay there. I’ve just got a blanket in case you’re chilly. Sound good?” 

Lena releases her grip on the pebbles and stares at him. 

Even in the darkness, it’s clear how pale she is. Her face is ghastly and white– it’s as if it’s never seen the sun before.

“My name is Kieran,” the man continues. “I drive that big truck over there with my friends. I’m just here to make sure you’re alright and to give you some help.” 

He waits for a moment then slowly approaches. Kneeling down at Lena’s side, he drapes the blanket over her shoulders. It’s thin and crinkly like an old sheet– laid on so softly it hardly touches her.

Goosebumps are covering her arms and legs. She must’ve been out here all day, he thinks. 

“Here, kiddo… just want to warm you up a bit. We don’t want you catching a cold, do we?”

The blanket is big enough that it wraps around Lena’s front and falls behind her in a bunch. Lena glances at it for a second then looks back at the man. 

Behind him, two other grown-ups are stepping out of the ambulance. They pull out something that looks like a tall bed on wheels with straps going across it. They look at her for a moment and pause, saying something to the other that she can’t quite hear. But they don’t go to her– they walk to the water. To her mom. 

“Hey,” Kieran says when he catches her looking. “Hey… can you tell me your name?”

Slowly, Lena reaches for the blanket, wishing she could pull it tighter. She tells herself to move and tries to remember how her arms used to feel before this morning, when they still knew how to follow directions. But they soon fall beside her, unable to hold the material for more than a second. 

“Were you here with your family?” Kieran asks. “With your mom?” 

Mom. Lena’s stomach twists at the word. It makes her feel like how she gets when she’s been sitting in the car for too long. 

She furrows her brow ever so slightly and the tiniest whine escapes her. Her head is hurting– it feels too tight.

Puzzled, Lena looks at the man. She stares at him with her knit brow and hard eyes, waiting for him to read her mind. 

“You’ve still got your goggles on, hun,” he says. He stays seated on his knee and tilts his head, smiling at her. “Can I take them off? Is that why you’re makin’ noises?”

When Lena doesn’t say anything, he extends his hand slowly towards her face. Vaguely, she can see it approaching. She knows she should flinch. He’s so much bigger than she is. So much bigger than her mom. But she can’t move. 

So she sits stoic as the elastic band pulls the hair that’s dried against it. It peels slowly away from her like a hundred bandaids being removed at once. But after a moment, Lena can feel a pressure around her forehead release. 

“That must feel better, aye?” 

Lena looks straight past Kieran at the other two grown-ups in green pants and orange vests. They’re still walking the stretcher down to the lake, talking to each other in hushed voices, muffled by the wind. They’re going for her mom, she thinks, they’re going to find her. 

“Oh… no, you don’t wanna see that,” Kieran mumbles. 

He catches Lena’s semblance of attention again and this time makes sure to keep it. 

He whisks her up into his arms with a grunt as he stands back up, and keeps her securely wrapped in her blanket. 

“You’re being such a brave girl, you know that?” He coos, settling her on his hip. “You’re so brave.”

He brushes a piece of damp hair out of Lena’s face as he speaks and smiles softly at her. She’s so light in his arms, bundled up in the tin-foil sheet made for someone three times her size. It engulfs her completely– leaving only her head exposed to the world. 

“It’s all gonna be okay, yeah?”

For a second, Kieran looks past her at his partners. They wade into the abyss, water sloshing onto the shore behind them. Through the darkness– it’s hard to see more than the glow of the orange vests growing further and further away. But as they lock the stretcher onto the edge of the shore, he makes sure to bounce Lena ever so slightly to turn her away from it.

“Do you like rhymes?” He asks her. “Or songs?” 

Lena tucks her chin to her chest and releases a long exhale. Her eyes are starting to sting from being held open all day.  

“Why don’t we do some songs?” 

He looks at her pale skin and the few freckles scattered across her nose. Her white chapped lips, cracked around the edges from being left out in the cold for so long, and the bags that hang below her eyes. And as the paramedics go deeper into the water, he watches how she stares directly below her, not looking at anything in particular, and takes in her green eyes. He tries to imagine what might be behind them– the memories of what she’s seen. The moment when her mother went under. The hours of looking and waiting for her to return, all alone in the frigid air, with nothing but a soggy swimsuit and goggles on her forehead.

She must’ve known she wasn’t coming back, he thinks. No kid could stand there for twelve straight hours and not know. 

“Do you like…” 

Kieran pauses for a moment, then starts to sing. 

“Theeeee wheels on the bus go round and round,

round and round,

round and round.” 

He bounces Lena gently to the rhythm as he goes through the lyrics, his words hardly above a whisper. It’s just loud enough that Lena will hear him, just loud enough that she’ll have something else to focus on. 

“The wheels on the bus go round and round,

all through the town.

The wipers on the bus go–” He stops for a moment and gives Lena a poke. “How do they go?” 

She continues to look past him with her empty stare as he fills in for her and rocks her from side to side to show the motion.

“Swish swish swish

 swish swish swish,

The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish,

All through the town.” 

“What comes next?” He asks her. “Is it the babies on the bus? What do the babies on the bus do?”

In the distance– there are red and white lights poking through the trees. The first true signs of another ambulance coming to take back the woman in the lake. Lena’s mother. 

But Kieran keeps going with the song, even when Lena looks away from him. Even when she stares at the lights with more awareness than he’s seen from her all day. He just turns her around again and finds another rhyme, another story, another anything to keep her with him. 

“You’re alright, darlin’,” he says. “It’s all gonna be alright. We’re gonna take you on the truck in a minute and my friends are gonna check you out– make sure you’re not sick. And then you’ll get some stickers and you’ll get to turn on the big lights if you want. But it’s all gonna be okay.”

Lena doesn’t know if she believes him. She wants to. But everything is so wrong. 

“Now… let’s do another song,” Kieran thinks aloud. “That always helps my little girl when she’s feeling scared.”

He adjusts Lena in his arms, takes in a breath, then starts again. 

“Hush little baby don’t say a word,

Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird”

No, this isn’t right. 

“And if that mockingbird don’t sing…”

Lena can feel her face getting hot. There’s something sharp in her throat– her belly is twisting again. 

“Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring”

Her face is wet now. Silent tears creep from her chapped eyes for the first time all day. They make her cheeks burn with irritation and she wants to rub them– no, she wants her mom to wipe them dry the way she had this morning when Lena bumped her knee jumping off the sofa.

“And if that diamond ring is brass, 

Papa’s gonna buy you a looking glass”

Lena can see herself back at home– sitting in bed with her comforter bunched up around her chest. She can see her eyelids drooping, see her mom’s hand holding hers, trailing her thumb across her wrist, as she sings her to sleep. 

“And if that looking glass gets broke,

Mama’s gonna buy you a billy-goat”

Lena sees it so vividly she can almost feel it. Her fluffy pink pillow beneath her head, her teddy bear tucked under her arm, and her mom kissing her forehead as she allows sleep to gently embrace her. 

This isn’t right, Lena thinks. Her mom is supposed to be here. She’s the one who should be singing. She’s the one who should be holding her. 

Lena’s breathing increases rapidly. She squirms in Kieran’s grasp– she wants to be put down. She wants to go home. She wants her mom. She wants her now.

With a whine, Lena turns her head and tries to wriggle out of his arms. 

But what she sees behind her– it makes her freeze all over again. 

The grown-ups in orange vests are out of the water. They’re wheeling the tall bed back towards the ambulance and there’s a woman on it. Her mom. Her mom is on the bed.

Lena whimpers. It can’t be her mom.

This woman is soaking wet. Her orange hair looks black– it cascades over the side of the stretcher, stringy and thick, all clumped together, dripping onto the beach a thin dark liquid, which leaves a trail behind it. This woman lays there on her back, frozen and still, like she should be sleeping.

But she isn’t. Her eyes are wide open.

Lena makes a noise and tries to lean away from Kieran. Her heart is starting to pound– she can hear it in her ears. Big and loud like a drumline, drowning out the sounds of everything else. 

“Hey– hey, come back to me.” 

The older man’s voice is foggy and distorted. 

Lena sniffs as she leans further. She just doesn’t understand it– how her mom could turn so white and why her lips are so blue. It isn’t right– it isn’t her.

Her mom is supposed to be pretty like a princess. She’s supposed to be gentle. But now, she looks like the monsters Lena’s always been so afraid of. The ones she saw that night on the telly when she was meant to be sleeping and crept into the living room while her mom was watching a movie. She’d caught one glimpse and sprinted right back to bed so they wouldn’t be able to catch her, then hid under the covers, shaking, until she fell asleep. 

Lena sniffs again, whining through her fast-paced cries. 

Her mom is a monster and still, Lena wants to run to her. She wants to throw herself on top of her frigid body and shake her until she wakes up. Until she’s no longer sleeping with her eyes open like she’s frozen in time, paralyzed in the last second of her true existence twelve hours ago. 

Lena wants to hug her. She wants to bring her back to life. She knows she can– she knows if she could just be allowed to try, she could do it. 

So she fights with all she has to once and for all, throw herself right out of Kieran’s arms. She hurls her body forward– determined to run to her Mom one last time. She’s going to get to her. She’s going to fix her. She knows she can– she knows it, she knows it, she knows it. 

But Kieran’s too strong. He pulls Lena back and holds her even tighter, turning his body around again so she can’t see her anymore. 

He says something to her– something that’s supposed to be reassuring. But Lena can’t hear a word. 

Her fast-past cries turn into screams and she opens her mouth as wide as it will go, wailing with all her might. She sobs over Kieran’s attempts to calm her down, kicking her legs with all she has because if she’s hurting– he needs to be hurting too.

It’s gut-wrenching to watch. 

The cold air burns Lena’s throat and sears through her chest. Her cracked lips finally split from being open so angrily and each scream pounds in her temple upon its release. Her body is too tired for such emotion but Lena doesn’t care. None of it matters anymore. Her mom is gone. Her world is gone. 

So Lena does the only thing she can do– she cries. Even when snot bubbles from her nose and trails down onto her lips. Even when drool drips from her mouth, down past her chin. She cries so hard that Kieran thinks she might make herself throw up. He freezes a bit when Lena gasps for air with a heave so intense her entire body lurches upwards. Her shoulders shoot to her ears and her face scrunches up.

But all that follows is an even heavier sob. 

They get heavier and heavier until Lena’s entire body is shaking. Her screams grow raspy and strained– her vocal cords shot from the effort. 

Kieran tries to calm her down. He talks to her and rocks her, tightens her blanket then loosens it again– anything to make her more comfortable. 

But nothing works. Lena is utterly inconsolable. 

Behind them, the woman’s body is loaded into the rig. The crunching sound from earlier returns, only quieter this time, when the ambulance leaves to take her to the morgue.

Kieran tries not to think about what’ll happen afterward. When the autopsy is done and Jane Doe is identified– a social worker will have to decide what should happen to the little girl in his arms. They’ll place her in foster care or if she’s lucky, with a distant relative. Perhaps a grandparent.

At some point, one of his teammates approaches him, holding a small ratty backpack patterned with mermaids. They tap him on the shoulder to catch his attention. 

“We found this over by the benches,” The other paramedic says. She shines a flashlight on the tag on the inside, which is written on in neat cursive. “The name inside says Lena. Think it belongs to her?” 

“Lena…” Kieran says softly, shifting the distraught child in his arms. “Are you Lena?” 

Through her wails, Lena manages a nod. She gasps for air a few more times, her shoulders shooting up with each breath, then lets out a crackled whine.

“Oh, hun, it’s gonna be okay,” Kieran tells her. He rubs her back and tries to smile at her– not allowed to show that he wants to break right there with her. “Let’s get you checked out in the truck.”

[jazznicoleproductions]

Weaponizing One’s Love: The Reality of Nightmares

Pairings: Kara Danvers/ Lena Luthor

Ao3: Chapter Five

Chapter Summary: At first, it seems things are beginning to heal, re-opened wounds start to close, and conversations that need to be had are brought up. But things go wrong as red kryptonite takes hold of the situation, forcing the Luthor and Super apart. Lena tries to reason with Kara but fails and has to flee. And running through the halls of Luthor Corp, she worries for her life, wondering if she'd die at the hands of her best friend. Eventually, fate catches up to her, and Kara finds her. But before the worst can happen, Lena finds herself in her dark bedroom. Upon Kara's request, Nia checks up on her, and the two talk, allowing the youngest Luthor to find some peace for the rest of the night.

Shoutout to @femaleheroes​ for the amazing GIF! 

[chairhere]

So now a lot of my social feeds have to do with queer partnered dancing pairs Right after reading all of THE dwts au. Two femmes dancing the tango? Yes please. Two mascs waltzing? Uh, yeah! Mixed presentation? Mmmhummm you know it baby.

[cardcaptorsakura96]

[marinawolf]

an angsty but somewhat cute supercorp first kiss 😚 fic to make the rest of the week better ❤️

Finally (Supercorp)

by marinawolf

Three times Kara wants to kiss Lena, and one time she does.

-the first time she didn't

The elevator doors slid open to Lena's penthouse, and Kara stepped out, holding a bag of take-out pasta in her hands. She had been looking forward to this evening, to spending quality time with Lena, her best friend. With a hopeful smile on her face, she walked deeper into the penthouse, only to freeze in her tracks as she caught sight of Lena in the kitchen.

Lena, still dressed in her work clothes, stood near the counter where two wine glasses had been set out, a bottle of wine in one hand and a corkscrew in the other. Kara's breath hitched in her throat as her eyes traveled up Lena's figure. The black suit hugged Lena's form perfectly, emphasizing her elegant silhouette. The unbuttoned top of her black button-up shirt revealed a tantalizing glimpse of her collarbone.

Lena's hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail, emphasizing her sharp features and highlighting the graceful curve of her neck. Kara's gaze traced the lines of Lena's face, the subtle edge of her jawline, and the way her lips parted slightly as she focused on opening the wine bottle. She was captivated by the intensity in Lena's blue-green eyes. Those eyes never failed to leave Kara spellbound.

Unbeknownst to Lena, Kara watched silently. As Lena fidgeted with the corkscrew, her fingers moving with innate grace, Kara's heart pounded in her chest. She was helplessly in love with Lena, and the sight of her like this, so effortlessly alluring, intensified her feelings to an unbearable degree. In that moment, Kara's mind wandered into forbidden territory, as she allowed herself to imagine what it would be like to slip her arms around Lena's slender waist, to press her lips against the soft skin of Lena's neck. But it remained nothing more than a fantasy, a yearning she buried deep within herself.

Suddenly, as if sensing Kara's gaze on her, Lena looked up, and a stunning smile spread across her face, causing Kara's heart to flutter. "Kara," she breathed, "hi." Kara snapped out of her reverie of admiration and smiled back at Lena, holding up the food.

"I got your favourite."

Lena's eyes gaze fell on the bag in Kara's hands, and her smile widened, causing the little dimple in her cheek to show up. That smile always made Kara's heart stop. 

"Kara, L'Ultima Cena is in Metropolis! How did you get this?" Her voice carried a hint of awe.

The truth was that Kara had flown to Metropolis to get Lena's favourite pasta just to see that smile on Lena's face. But she didn't dare tell Lena that. With a bashful shrug, she said, "I was visiting Kal-El today, and I happened to pick it up on the way back."

Lena stepped closer, her eyes shimmering with appreciation, and placed a gentle hand on Kara's arm. "Kara, that means the world to me. Thank you." 

For a brief moment, Kara considered baring her soul, revealing the depths of her love for Lena. But the fear of ruining their friendship held her back, and she took a step back, distancing herself both physically and emotionally. "Oh, it's nothing, really."

They settled in for dinner, as Lena poured the wine and Kara unpacked the take-out, carefully transferring the pasta to plates. The atmosphere was warm and cozy, yet Kara couldn't shake the undercurrent of longing that pulsed beneath the surface.

As they began to eat, Lena launched into a discussion about work, her brows furrowed with a mix of determination and frustration. "I've been trying to acquire this company," she explained, her voice tinged with a hint of exasperation. "But the board is giving me a hard time. I have a meeting with them later this week, and I'm concerned it won't go in my favour."

Kara listened attentively, always enraptured by anything Lena had to say. She reached across the table, placing her hand gently on Lena's. "Lena, you're brilliant. You'll be fine. And anyway, who can resist Lena Luthor?"

Kara couldn't help but notice that a faint blush dusted Lena's cheeks, though she quickly dismissed it, not wanting to read too much into the fleeting moment. Lena squeezed Kara's hand, a gesture of appreciation.

Their conversation shifted, and Lena's tone turned lighter as she inquired about Kara's romantic life. "So, Alex mentioned that Mon-El has been around a lot. How's that going?"

Kara's heart sank at the mention of Mon-El, her mind filled with the unspoken truth that she longed to reveal. But she composed herself, a smile masking her inner turmoil. "We've been on a few casual dates," she admitted, her voice lacking the enthusiasm Lena might have hoped for. "But I'm not sure if it's what I want."

Lena leaned back in her chair, her expression intense as she regarded Kara. “And what do you want, Kara?”

You, Kara thought I want you. But she didn’t dare utter those words and instead, she shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

She saw Lena’s intensity falter slightly, but Lena quickly covered it up before Kara could really think about it.

"Kara, you'll only know if you try,” she said, taking a sip of wine, “And besides, Mon-El is cute and sweet. He may just make you happy."

Kara's heart ached at Lena's words, knowing that the very thing that would make her truly happy sat before her, just out of reach. She mustered a smile, her voice filled with a touch of melancholy. "You're right."

--

Kara's steps were slow and reluctant as she made her way towards the elevator, not wanting the evening to end. Every fiber of her being longed to stay, to linger in Lena's presence for just a little while longer. 

As she reached the elevator, Lena followed closely behind, their footsteps echoing in the quiet entrance hall. A mixture of reluctance and longing washed over Kara, a whirlwind of emotions that threatened to consume her. Before she could step inside, Lena's arms enveloped her in a tight embrace, their usual goodbye, their bodies pressed together in an intimate closeness.

Kara's breath caught in her throat, her heart pounding against her chest. She closed her eyes, allowing herself to savor the moment, to commit it to memory. Lena's embrace felt like home, a place where Kara's heart found solace, if only for a fleeting instant. The soft touch of Lena's face against her neck sent shivers down her spine, and the scent of Lena's perfume filled her senses, intoxicating and enticing.

Reluctantly, they pulled apart, the embrace ending all too soon. Lena's fingers lingered on Kara's arm, and Kara frowned, confused at the lingering touch. She offered a soft smile, her eyes reflecting a longing that she dared not vocalize. As the elevator doors began to close, Kara held Lena's gaze, the ache in her chest intensifying with each passing moment.

The doors sealed their separation, leaving Kara alone in the enclosed space, her thoughts consumed by the desire she dared not act upon. She pressed a hand against her racing heart, her mind flooded with the image of what could have been. She could have closed the gap between them in an instant, but she had stopped herself. 

-the second time she didn't 

The next morning unfolded in the familiar setting of Catco, where Kara could see Lena immersed in the demands of the office, orchestrating the intricacies of her work. Meanwhile, Kara found herself seated at a desk among other reporters, engrossed in the layout for the upcoming issue. Inevitably, her gaze would wander across the bullpen, drawn irresistibly to Lena's presence. And each time their eyes met, Lena would gift her a smile that sent Kara's heart into a frenzy.

Amidst the buzz of the newsroom, Lena gracefully approached Kara, her steps purposeful yet filled with a tenderness that only they shared. As Lena settled on the table in front of Kara, her touch sent a jolt of electricity through Kara's arm. Clad in a mesmerizing white silk shirt, Lena gave off an effortless elegance that rendered Kara breathless.

"Hello, Kara," Lena greeted, her voice carrying a mixture of familiarity and unspoken yearning. The world around them seemed to fade into the background as Lena's presence enveloped Kara's senses. "Have lunch with me?"

Kara mustered a smile in return, her heart pounding against her ribcage as she nodded. She was usually good at keeping up the facade of friendship, hiding her true feelings, but lately, she found it harder and harder to be in Lena's presence. Every time she set eyes on Lena, her feelings threatened to spill out of her.  

They ventured across the street to a quaint café, and Lena surprised Kara by sitting next to her in the booth, instead of opposite her. But Kara knew that it was probably because Lena didn't want to face away from the window. Still, it felt intimate, and did no favours to Kara's heart. 

As they settled in, Lena looked at her.

"So, have you decided about another date with Mon-El?" she asked, her eyes searching Kara's face for answers.

Kara's heart sank again at the mention of Mon-El, realizing the painful truth behind her intentions. She replied, "I might go on another date with him, just to see if there's anything there."

The admission hung in the air, heavy with the weight of Kara's unspoken turmoil. She knew she sought solace in the familiarity of a nice guy like Mon-El, an attempt to bury her longing for Lena beneath the guise of a relationship with someone else. The internal battle raged within her, torn between the fear of unrequited love and the knowledge that she was being extremely unfair to Mon-El.

In that moment, something shifted in Lena's gaze, a flash of intensity that sent a surge of hope coursing through Kara's veins. Lena leaned in slightly, her eyes fixated on Kara's lips, a magnetic pull that threatened to close the gap between them. Kara couldn't resist the urge to close that distance between them. But fate had a cruel sense of timing, as the intrusion of the waiter shattered the fragile bubble they had created. The spell was broken, and Kara instinctively moved away, introducing a physical distance that mirrored the emotional walls she had forced herself to put up. 

They placed their orders, and as the waiter departed, Kara couldn't help but notice his lingering gaze upon Lena's figure, a surge of possessive jealousy coursing through her veins. 

-the third time she didn't 

Kara worked late that night, and was the last of the reporters to leave. Noticing the time, she decided to go upstairs and grab her stuff before retiring for the night. She entered the elevator. The doors opened, and her footsteps faltered as she reached the main floor of the now empty office. Kara's heart sank as she stood frozen. There, in the midst of her own turmoil, she stumbled upon a scene that felt like a dagger piercing her heart. Lena and James stood in Lena's office, their eyes on each other. James held Lena's hand in his own, his eyes soft. Her gaze fixated on their hands, a sight that ignited a surge of jealousy she had long suppressed. The luminous smile adorning Lena's face as she looked up at James was a painful contrast to the ache that consumed Kara's soul. She listened, unable to tear herself away and cursing her super hearing, as their conversation unfolded before her, each word chipping away at her fragile hope.

James, his voice tinged with anticipation, uttered the words that sliced through Kara's heart. "Okay, so I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow?" he said, his tone carrying an undeniable sense of excitement. Lena's response, a soft affirmation, reverberated in Kara's ears, each syllable like a dagger twisting deeper into her wounded heart. "Yes, perfect."

As James exited Lena's office, he greeted Kara and entered the elevator, a foolish smile etched upon his face. Kara forced herself to meet his gaze. She mustered a strained smile in return, masking the turmoil raging within her. Her mind raced with questions and doubts.

Unable to stop herself, Kara barged into Lena's office, her emotions overriding any sense of reason. Lena looked up in surprise at Kara's sudden intrusion and greeted her with a questioning tone, "Kara, hey. What are you still doing here?"

Ignoring Lena's inquiry, Kara forged ahead, attempting to conceal her swirling jealousy beneath a facade of composure. "You're going on a date with James?" she blurted out.

Lena's smile remained unyielding as she took a step closer to Kara, their proximity sending a surge of conflicting emotions through Kara's veins. "Of course, you heard," Lena replied, and Kara could swear that her words were laced with a hint of challenge. "He asked, and I said yes. Who knows? Maybe it'll be great. He's a nice guy."

Kara's heart quickened, her senses hyperaware of the charged atmosphere enveloping them. Lena's gaze dipped momentarily to Kara's lips. The allure of that moment, the temptation to lean in and close the distance between them, tested Kara's resolve.

But fear, like an unwelcome intruder, seized control, urging her to step away and regain her composure. With a measured effort, Kara composed herself and forced a steady tone. "Yeah, he's a great guy. I'm happy for you, Lena."

Her voice masked the heartbreak that threatened to engulf her, concealing the longing and unspoken desires that lay beneath the surface. Kara bid a hasty retreat from Lena's office, leaving behind pieces of her shattered heart in her wake.

-the first time she did 

Kara spent the entire day in a state of despair, dreading the evening when James and Lena would go on their date. She deliberately avoided Lena, unable to bear the ache in her heart. As the night approached, Kara found herself seeking solace in a bottle of alien alcohol, its captivating blue hue calling to her. She drank alone, feeling a slight buzz as the alcohol coursed through her veins. Thoughts of Lena and James consumed her mind—their hands entwined, the possibility of a kiss at the end of the night, Lena's radiant smile directed at him. Jealousy surged within Kara, the mere thought of James touching Lena becoming unbearable.

In her intoxicated state, Kara couldn't bear the thought of not trying at all. With a mix of determination and impulsiveness, she leaped off her balcony and flew to Lena's penthouse, her heart pounding. Kara landed on Lena's balcony and immediately banged on the door, her emotions raw and unfiltered. Lena, in the midst of putting on an earring, opened the door with a look of confusion etched on her face.

"What are you doing here, Kara?" Lena asked, her voice laced with bewilderment. "Is everything okay?"

Breathless and desperate, Kara looked into Lena's eyes, captivated by the stunning black dress she wore. Her words spilled forth in a rush, "Don't go tonight. Please, Lena, don't go on a date with James."

Lena's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Why not?" she inquired, her tone tinged with curiosity and a hint of challenge. She took a step closer to Kara, their proximity electrifying the air between them, "Why shouldn't I go on a date with James, Kara?"

Struggling to find the words, Kara felt her heart pounding in her chest. Without overthinking, she did what she should have done long ago. In an impulsive move, Kara crashed her lips against Lena's, pouring every ounce of her longing, affection, and desire into that single kiss. It was a passionate, breathtaking moment—an outpouring of emotions that had been suppressed for far too long.

Lena responded immediately, her hands finding their place on Kara's waist, as if they had always belonged there, pulling her closer. Time seemed to stand still. Kara couldn't believe that she was kissing Lena and that Lena was kissing her back, their lips moving in a synchrony.

Lena's lips were a revelation to Kara. The taste of her, a perfect blend of whiskey and sweetness, consumed Kara's thoughts, erasing any doubts or fears that had plagued her. She was lost in the sensation, unable to believe that this long-awaited moment was finally happening.

Every tender brush and urgent press of their lips was an act of longing and release, a culmination of unspoken desires that had silently pulsed between them. 

In that intoxicating kiss, Kara found solace and fulfillment. It was as if a weight had been lifted from her heart, replaced by a sense of completeness she had yearned for but never thought possible. The touch of Lena's lips against hers unleashed a flood of emotions she could no longer contain.

Time seemed to stand still as their kiss deepened, fueled by longing and unspoken declarations of love. Kara's hands instinctively sought the contours of Lena's body, pulling her closer. Kara reveled in the moment, her mind buzzing with euphoria, unable to comprehend the sheer intensity of the emotions rising within her. This was real, tangible, and more beautiful than any dream she had ever dared to imagine.

Reluctantly, they eventually pulled away, their breaths mingling in the space between them. Lena's voice, barely above a whisper, broke the silence.

"Took you long enough," she uttered against Kara's lips, a trace of playfulness in her tone.

[commander-heart-eyes]

Some cover art for my story:

Extra! Extra! Read All About it: Lena Luthor cheats on girlfriend with Supergirl?

Before Lena can hand over her credit card, Andrea is giving the barista her own with a, “It’s on me.” She turns to Lena with a cheeky smile. “It’s the least I can do, you know, for stealing your girlfriend.”

“Excuse me?” Lena gapes.

“Oh.” Andrea’s teasing smile is replaced with a confused eyebrow raise. “You didn’t know?” she asks with a small frown.

“Didn’t know what?” Lena practically snaps, feeling her patience thinning.

She hears an "oh shit," somewhere to her right and realizes that half the customers are watching them with bated breaths. One woman near the back even has the audacity to take a few photos. Lena gives all of them her signature Luthor glare, and with a twinge of satisfaction on Lena's part, they advert their eyes and find their respective phones quite interesting.

OR: National City’s newest and hottest couple deal with their personal lives being broadcasted to the whole world.

NOTE: ONLY AVAILABLE TO REGISTERED USERS

[thatonebirdwrites]

Cheating Death Part 3

Part 1 and Part 2 Doctor Alex Danvers and Karen Starr moved in perfect symmetry, as they worked to extract the bullets.

Kara had sensed the one that punctured Lena's lung, but another had been hidden by her spine. Her stomach rumbled, but the granola bar Nia had dropped off sat uneaten in Kara's pocket. Instead, she kept her vigil, her stomach knotted at the sight of Lena's still form. Alex had been stiff-lipped about the prognosis. Each second, minute, hour, Lena still breathed, unconscious, while the doctors sewed her body back together. Machines hummed and beeped, and Kara took to pacing a groove into the floor. Nia had tried twice to convince her to come eat with the others, but Kara couldn't leave Lena.

If she did, she'd do more dangerous stunts, testing the edge of her powers, just to not feel the intense shame, fear, and worry that throbbed through her muscles.

One of the nurses rushed out of the room. "Rh-null blood!" she shouted to one of the technicians, further down the medical wing. "We need another batch!"

"That's our last one!" the technician called back. "Ms. Lena Luthor was our only donor."

"What do you mean Rh-null blood?" Kara asked, anxiously.

"Need it to prevent hemolysis," the nurse said. "Her blood type is one of the rarest, compatible as a donor with any human blood type, but only able to receive Rh-null blood in return."

Dread curdled through Kara. "When does she need this?"

"As soon as possible," the nurse glanced back at Alex and the other doctor.

Alex leaned over Lena's bed with her tools, her body blocking the spine region from view. They'd propped Lena up on her side with a thick pillow on the other. Her skin was pallid, deep shadows under her eyes, and her body limp against the body pillow. A terrifying sight for Kara.

Kara clenched her jaw. She pushed past the nurse despite the nurse's protestations. "Alex! Does she need another transfusion?"

Alex waved a blood-stained glove at her. "Kara, don't interrupt, and yes. Nurse --"

"We're out of her blood type. Nurse said it was super rare, is that true?" Kara ached to reach out to hold Lena's limp hand, but she didn't want to disturb the delicate surgery.

Alex looked up. Even with the mask, she looked haggard. "Well shit. And yes. i wouldn't even know how to begin to find it. All the stock we had is what Lena herself donated. She's one of the few Rh-null donors in the world."

Kara grimaced. "Then what about synthetic blood? I could make some in the Fortress if I had a sample of her blood."

"Synthetic? Would her body reject it?" Dr. Karen Starr glanced at Kara, her eyebrows scrunched. She held a scalpel in her hand, its edge gleaming silver in the florescent lighting.

"Not if it's an exact match. I should be able to replicate down to the atomic level, but..." Kara nibbled on her lower lip and the urge to weep nearly overcame her. "I could only do a small amount. It takes considerable time and energy to do larger batches. Maybe enough for one or two transfusions."

She didn't want to admit that it had been years since she did any science of this magnitude, and that had been with Kryptonian blood, which differed slightly from human. The protocol for working the synthesizers was the same regardless.

One of the monitors beeped. Alex cursed again. "She's dipping again. Starr we may need a breathing tube if she continues to dive." She stripped off her gloves, tossed them in the bio-waste, and replaced them. "Kara, if you can pull that off, then we need it as soon as possible." She used the IV to pull a small vial of blood. She handed it to Kara.

"I'll be back in a jiffy." She dashed out of the room, leaving a gust of wind in her wake.

Again the sonic boom rattled the windows of National City. The blood vial she held close to her chest.

Returning to the Fortress so soon left her feeling ill.

Here Lena had saved her from Rama Khan. Here Lena and her had fought. And here, Lena encased her in a Kryptonite ice cage. The horrifying truth was Kara could have broken free, it'd been painful, but she had the strength. Instead, she'd stood there, stunned.

If Lena had decided to kill her, Kara would have let it happen. There was no doubt in her mind; she could never fight Lena.

But Lena hadn't wanted to kill her. She'd done all she could to make sure Kara recovered fast. That seeded Kara's wrecked heart with a wild hope.

Turning down a side corridor, she raced for the medical wing of the fortress, the area she had not taken Lena. Inside a massive tube took up much of the room, with several medical instruments, machinery, and a control panel covered in Kryptonian glyphs.

She keyed the command for the synthesis of blood, a program coded into the Fortress long ago, likely when Kal's father sent it on its way.

She flipped open the side panel and inserted the tube. Now Lena Luthor's blood would join her own and Kal's in the archive, along with all of Kara's and Kal's family.

A three-dimensional DNA strand appeared in the air, along with various imaging of the cells contained in the blood. She keyed an analysis against her limited database, then keyed the command for a replica of the blood.

A red alert appeared requesting more material. Kara scowled, of course. Can't synthesize a larger amount from nothing.

She recalled a vague lesson from her father. How he'd used raw ingredients from plants to show her how any ingredients worked for synthesizer as long as it held the correct set of elements.

So, okay, raw ingredients could come from anything. So why not herself?

All that mattered was that the final product exactly match Lena's blood.

"Kara Zor El?" Kelex floated up to her. "Do you need assistance?"

She glanced at the floating robot. "Yes, actually. I need you to take my blood and put it in the synthesizer. It's low on ingredients."

He flew closer to the medical control panel. "This is human blood you are synthesizing. Are you certain you wish to do this?"

Kara rolled up her sleeve and held out her arm. "Yes, do it." She closed her eyes and tensed for the pain of a kryptonite needle. Kelex worked quietly. The soft slosh of blood in the tubing he'd hooked into the synthesizer rang with the hum of the machine.

She opened her eyes to see the data from her donation form on the other side of Lena's blood imaging. She watched in fascination as her blood was broken down into its smallest components and reassembled with Lena's parameters.

The entire process lasted fifteen minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. Kara kept shifting and nearly dislodged Kelex's needle from her vein twice.

When the signal rang for completion, Kelex applied an coagulating agent to her wound and gathered up the tubing. "This will be destroyed per protocol. Do you wish to destroy the original sample?"

Kara tugged the larger container free from the synthesizer. The smaller vial still sat in its slot. "Yes. Thanks Kelex. I got to go."

The entire flight back her head swam with dizziness from the blood draw, the night sky not at all conducive toward recovery. By the time she stumbled into the surgery room with the container, it'd been nearly twenty-five minutes.

"Please tell me I'm on time," she said.

Alex stared at the metal container. Several monitors beeped alarmingly in the background. "Yeah, yeah, how do I work it? Because she needs it now."

She showed Alex the set of controls and where the tube could be inserted for the transfer. "I tried to make enough to last awhile."

Alex swiftly hooked it up to Lena's IV. "All that from a small sample?"

"Well, not exactly." Kara rubbed the back of her neck. "I used my own blood as raw ingredients so the synthesizer could reformulate it for Lena."

"Shit." Alex's hand hesitated on the clip that would start the transfusion. "Are you sure it's safe?"

"Hundred percent match to the original sample. Do you have a choice?" Kara crossed her arms. "You said her blood type is rare."

"Nearest hospital with Rh-null stock has only a quarter of what we need," Dr. Starr said. She worked on the final stitches to Lena's spine surgery. "We've had no other replies on the network."

"Fine. Let's hope this works." She flicks the clip and breathes out a long sigh. "As for you," she pointed to Kara, "great work. Now shoo and go sit under the sunbed. You look pale as fuck." Alex waved her hands toward the door. "I'll let you know when she wakes."

When. Alex said when.

Hope dug its roots into Kara's heart for the first time that day. *** Light danced across her eyelids. Whispers echoed in her ears. Soft fabric lay across her skin. Pain melded with the aggravating thirst and pulsing headache.

If she was dead, then the pain would cease.

Which meant she was alive.

Her eyes slowly opened to a small room of mostly glass walls. She lay on a bed, and a sheet and blue blanket covered her body. Someone dressed in a white lab coat and black pants fiddled with the IV bags. Or rather one metal container that had a tube connected to her IV, its contents blood-red.

The red hair cropped short rang with familiarity. "Alex?" Lena rasped. Speaking hurt her throat. Her mouth way too dry.

The woman turned with a smile of relief. "Hey, the sleeping beauty finally awakes." She turned and lifted the blanket to adjust the blood pressure cuff and examine the IV needle in her elbow. "Maybe now my sister will stop bothering the hell out of me."

"Kara?" Lena struggled to comprehend what happened. "How? What is that? Why am I..." She tried to lift her finger to point at the container, but she seemed to have misplaced her strength on the stairwell.

"The signal watch." Alex lifted her head to study Lena, her eyebrows furrowed. "You're lucky. A few minutes later and I'm not sure even surgery would have saved you. You lost far too much blood. It's a good thing you donate blood a lot, as we had to do several transfusions. When our stock ran low, Kara raced to the fortress to synthesize more."

Lena struggled to parse Alex's words. "Synthesized?"

Alex shrugged. "I'm no expert on Kryptonian tech. That's Kara, Kal, and Brainy. All I know is she used her own blood as ingredients to craft a replica of yours."

"Her own blood?" Lena repeated, stunned.

But why? She'd raged at Kara, trapped her in a Kryptonite cage, deceived her for months, and yet Kara saved her? And why was Alex helping her? If Alex knew about the Kryptonite cage, she'd be more likely to shoot her or throw her in a cage to die. Not save her life.

Hot brands swept through her neck and back, and she hissed, her eyes briefly closing. The machine hummed next to her like an irritating bee. Each pump alleviated some of the dizziness, but the pain burned with a dogged persistence.

Alex reached over her to dim the lights. "Look, I get the whole being reluctant to use the watch. But for that situation? You should have used it sooner." She fiddled with a tablet. "Those bullets did some nasty damage."

She gave Lena a faint smile. "You also don't have to worry about Leviathan assassins any further. Kara took care of them."

"Took care of them?" She felt like a parrot, repeating words that made no sense to her. "But why? We -- we fought."

Alex hesitated far too long, her smile tight. "Ah, she just took care of them. They won't bother anyone going forward."

It dawned on her slowly. "She killed them? But..."

Alex understood her trailed off sentence. "I know," she said, softly. She grasped Lena's hand and squeezed gently. "It's against her code to kill, but you've always been her exception."

This was a dream. It had to be a dream.

Tears blurred her vision, and although she tried to hold them back, they burned on her cheeks. Her body throbbed in agony, her condition atrocious, and this information overwhelmed.

She had been prepared to die on the stairs. Any signal watch activation had been only for a last goodbye.

Kara should have left her there. Moved on and found someone better. Not save Lena, who out of bitterness and heartbreak hurt Kara and deceived her for months.

With a tenderness she didn't deserve, Alex wiped away the tears with a kleenex. "Take it easy, Lena. You're safe here." She gestured to a cup with a straw. "Want a few drops of water? Can't have too much but it'll at least eliminate the dry mouth."

"Alex..." the urge to confess simmered, but the words clogged her throat and came out as a strangled sob. She wanted to curl up in a fetal position and cease existing. She should have died. Why couldn't Kara let her die? She'd lost everything.

"I don't deserve this..."

"Nonsense." Alex smoothed back Lena's hair. "You deserve it more than anyone." Her smile held a hint of melancholy. "And I'm sorry I wasn't as supportive of you and Kara. No matter what happens, we're here for you, Lena. And I want to make up for my mistakes to you."

"Don't!" The word erupted in a coughing fit. "Please, don't. Alex, I hurt Kara. Don't you see? I'm not good." Her tears burned with shame. Her thoughts fixated on the Kryptonite cage, the pain of seeing Kara in it, the urge to free her, how it'd taken all her willpower to walk through that portal. How she'd collapsed into tears on the other side. She loved Kara, and yet still hurt her? What kind of monster did that?

God, she loved Kara. She loved her so much it hurt. Now she was broken on bed, trapped with the knowledge she was capable of hurting Kara. "You shouldn't have saved me."

Alex frowned. "Lena, we all make shitty mistakes. I fuck up and hurt Kara sometimes, and we talk it out and fix it. You doing it doesn't mean you deserve death."

"Shitty? Shitty doesn't cover this." She felt loopy and out of control. Her emotions bubbled and frothed, her head spun, and the pain crawled through her spine. "I killed my brother for her. And... and he showed me she was Supergirl. I didn't know what to do. So I went to all of you, and you were celebrating and playing games." The pain with each breath, each word spoken ripped through her. But she had to get it out. She had to make sure Alex knew she was not worth this care.

"Lena..."

"No! Let me finish!" She tried to push herself upright, but her arm wouldn't handle her weight. She collapsed onto her side, wheezing. "Was I just the Luthor on a leash? No more a friend than a cat with a rat? I wanted Kara to feel my pain. I deceived her, used her, and I do not deserve this care--"

"Lena," Alex interrupted, sternly. "Lena, listen to me. You are hurting yourself with this." She gently pushed her back against the mattress and readjusted the blankets. "I am a trained doctor, and one thing I know, that it doesn't matter what a person did. If they come to me needing medical assistance, I give it. Want to know the best thing you can do right now?"

Lena sucked in a breath, still trembling from the pain and exertion.

"Rest. I mean it, you've been through hell. Your heart stopped during surgery, okay?" Alex's voice shook with an emotion Lena couldn't decipher. "I had to call J'onn in to hold Kara back from doing something very stupid. We almost lost you." She breathed in sharply. "Now is not the time for confessions and blame games. As your doctor, I order you to rest."

She picked up the cup and held it out. Reluctantly, Lena took a few short sips. Her head fell back against the pillow in exhaustion. She closed her eyes, but all she saw was the Kryptonite cage.

***

She woke next to voices whispering by her bed. One she recognized as Kara and the other took her a few seconds. Nia? She hadn't interacted with the girl much. She kept her eyes shut, the pain too much to handle speech.

She wished they'd go away. Leave her to mope in pieces.

"Kara, you need rest too. Lena will be okay. She's under Alex's supervision."

"I'm not leaving her side. I can't." Kara's voice sounded uncharacteristically wild. "She died, Nia, she died for almost twenty seconds. No, I have to make sure she's okay."

"I get that, okay? It scared all of us too. We can take shifts or something. Make sure someone is always at her bedside." Nia shuffled further from her bed. "Didn't you say we were stronger together? El Mayarah?"

Kara breathed in sharply. "Using my family motto against me?"

"Hey, just using my full arsenal here. Like you taught me." Nia paused and sighed. "I didn't want to say this, but Andrea has been on me today about our articles. The only reason we even have this extension is because it's Lena in the hospital. Don't make the situation worse."

"Maybe I'll just quit."

"And never be a reporter again?"

"Lena is more important."

"Oh my god, Alex wasn't kidding. You're like a steel mountain. Not budging. Do you think Lena would want you to just throw away everything you've worked for?"

"Lena is more important than anything."

"Even your life?"

"Yes."

"Jesus, Kara."

"No!" Lena winced at he pain from her outburst. Both Nia and Kara turned to her. "No, god no, I'm not more important than your life."

Pain arced down her back, and she blinked back tears, but still they crept free anyway.

"Yes you are!" Kara shot back. "I'm nothing without you, Lena! I just can't. I can't lose you again."

Lena growled deep in her throat, and gathered up every once of energy she had. If she had to walk out of here to prove her point, then fine.

Except, no matter how hard she tried, her legs refused to respond. In fact, she felt only a vague tingling, more in the thighs and not anything below.

She pushed herself upright, which sent pain shooting down her back. Her hands gripped her legs. They were definitely there, but she couldn't get them to move.

"Lena! You shouldn't be moving yet!" Kara said, frantically. "Please, rest." She moved to push her hand against Lena's shoulder.

In response, Lena pushed back, but that succeeded in collapsing into Kara's arms. "Kara," she growls, "if you don't go out there and do your job, I will verbally berate and flay you alive."

"Um, Andrea already does that," Nia said.

"She's too soft," Lena grumbled.

"That sounds a bit like you're telling on yourself," Nia said. When Lena shot her a glare, Nia took a step back. "And I'll just be getting Alex, bye!"

The door swung shut behind her.

Kara gently laid Lena back in the bed, and to her dismay, she didn't have the strength to protest. "I'm going to stay here until you're better."

Lena wanted to yell at Kara. To get her to stop whatever this was. But the pain crackled through Lena's body, and she couldn't think coherently. Instead, to her horror, she wept, her only intelligible words, "I can't, I can't, I just can't."

Kara tenderly held her through it, her hand smoothing back her hair. She didn't say anything, just stayed there, until Lena, exhausted, tumbled back into blessed unconsciousness.

***

Time held no meaning. Depending on the culture, it either flowed like a river in one direction, or it flowed in a circle. Even cosmology couldn't decide if the universe was cyclic -- a big bang, expansive era, then the big crunch -- or ever expanded in all directions endlessly.

Lena felt trapped at the center of some sort of timeless hell. The pain left her short-tempered, and the fact Kara refused to give up on her also grated on her.

"Why can't you see the truth?" Lena shouted at one point. "My body is broken, Kara! I'd rather be dead!"

Kara had stared at her, but then she clenched her fists. "Don't you dare speak ill about yourself." Her voice dropped to a dangerous low tone that did more for Lena's libido than it did to intimidate. "You are beautiful. Gorgeous. And you're hurt and healing. You deserve life, and I will always fight to save you."

Lena didn't know what to say in response.

Because Kara had an alarming point.

She had fought to save Lena over and over again. No matter what her family threw at them, no matter how many assassin's sought her death, no matter the attacks on her person, Kara had been there. Or she'd send Supergirl, which had actually been Kara.

"Was it really you flying me when I was poisoned?" She asked instead. Her voice came out weak, irritatingly timid.

"Yeah. Yeah, it was. I -- I was terrified. Had to use ice breath on you to induce hypothermia to give Alex's medicine time to work." Kara slumped in her chair. "I almost told you then when you said you remembered the flight."

"Why didn't you?"

"James was shaking his head ..."

"I didn't ask about James, Kara. I asked about you. Or do you not make decisions for yourself?" Irritation crept into her voice.

"That's the problem, Lena! Don't you get it?" Kara threw her hands in the air. "I didn't trust myself, all right? So yes, I did rely on others to make decisions, especially about the whole Supergirl identity. I can't afford to mess up. I can't afford to lose anyone else. I just can't."

Lena struggled to parse Kara's words. The pain ricocheted up like it always did before Alex or a nurse came and swapped IV bags for new ones. "What do you mean you didn't trust yourself?"

"Do you know what happened before you came to National City? The attack by my people? That was my Aunt." Kara said bitterly. "My Aunt and her husband wanted to -- Rao, it doesn't matter. I trusted her, and I was wrong. People got hurt. So many died. Alex had to kill my own Aunt because I couldn't do it. Nothing stopped her and Non. And then, and then..."

She shot to her feet and began to pace. "You're not the only one who can make kryptonite, okay? Max Lord did it first but he made red."

"Red? What does--"

"It was horrible. I -- I got infected and it shut off my inhibitions, it made every bad thought, every intrusive nightmare, come to life. I acted it all out, and people got hurt. I almost killed Cat Grant. Alex and J'onn used every Kryptonite they had to capture me."

Lena blinked. She didn't remember reading that in the papers, but then she'd been very distracted by shit in Metropolis at the time. "Were you in control?"

"I don't know." Kara dropped back into her chair and put her head in her hands. "It haunts me to this day. I hear the word synthesized Kryptonite and I start to have flashbacks. I can't let that happen again."

"That's why you acted that way during the worldkillers crisis." Lena didn't ask it as a question.

Kara's shoulders slumped. "I had to be in control. That way no one could get hurt. No one would die. And that was out of my control. But I was trapped back in the Red-K nightmare, and I didn't realize it at first. I -- i was wrong. I shouldn't have acted out my trauma on you. I'm sorry for that too. It hit home how bad I fucked up in the elevator when we were on our way to comfort Sam."

No wonder Kara had looked so upset when she said she'd never trust Supergirl again. She sighed and rubbed her fingers against the IV line. "I tend toward dramatics and can be terribly petty," she said finally. "You tried to talk to me as Supergirl to fix it, and I refused to listen. So as Sam likes to remind me, two wrongs don't fix anything. I'm sorry too."

Kara tentatively touched Lena's hand. "Thank you for this conversation. How are you feeling? Are you in pain again?"

"Alex mentioned internal bleeding once and you're hovering again?" Lena grumbled.

Kara winced. "I just want you to be well."

Lena sighed. "I know, Kara. And yes, I'm in pain. How about you get your sister, and read more of your book out loud?"

She wasn't sure what started that activity, but listening to Kara read soothed her far more than she'd like to admit.

"Okay." Kara shot to her feet. A breeze whipped Lena's hair into her face, Kara vanishing.

Still not used to it, but she was getting closer at least.

***

Two weeks and four days after she woke in Alex's medical ward, Lena was examined by Alex and a Doctor Starr. Part of that exam required her to sit in a wheelchair, which hurt far more than Lena wanted to admit.

Alex's checked her reflexes with her little hammer, while Starr listened to Lena's lungs.

It was irritating, but she was slowly accepting this was her reality now.

At least, the odd Kryptonian container had been used only once since she first saw it. She had a stress induced bout of hemolysis, which didn't surprise her. She knows she's prone to anemia. Kara's frantic reaction had Alex banning her from the room for two whole days.

It should have brought relief, but Lena missed Kara by day two.

As the doctors conferred, a startling thought hits Lena. "Alex, has Kara ever had a loved one in a condition as bad as mine?"

Alex turned and crossed her arms. "When I got sick from Pestilence, I'm told Kara was uncharacteristically erratic. But I was only sick a day or so. So I guess, no, not for this long."

"Hmmm." Lena turned the thought over in her head. "I think I know how to calm her down."

"Oh?" Alex had adopted a neutral tone since Lena's high-on-pain-meds confession. "And what wonderful idea does my patient have today?"

"Take me around wherever we are. Let her see me outside this room." She attempted a smile. "Yes, I'm in a pain, don't ask. Just let her see visible progress."

"I'd advise against..." Dr. Starr started to say but Alex held up her hand.

"No, she's right. Kara needs to see progress. And you are progressing, it's just not really that visible right now." Alex stepped closer and leaned over Lena. "But I need full honesty. Are you positive you want to do this?"

Lena nodded. "Yes. If it helps Kara, then yes."

"I'm not asking about Kara. Will this help you?"

Lena tilted her head puzzled. "I suggested it to aid Kara not myself?"

"Oh my god." Alex threw up her hands. "Do you see what I'm working with here?" She said to the other doctor. "They're both idiots."

Lena sniffed a trifle offended by that statement.

"I mean, yes, you have a pertinent point." Dr. Starr chuckled. "Maybe just indulge her?"

"Not you too. Go right the report." Alex flicked her wrist at the other doctor. "And you," she pointed to Lena. "Tell me immediately if your pain increases. Or else."

Lena knows an empty threat when she sees one. She gives a half-shrug. "Sure. Now shall we?" She waves her good arm toward the door.

Alex grumbled under her breath and pushed her through the door. A certain satisfaction warmed Lena's heart. She'd won against Alex, which was not an easy feat.

The hallways outside the medical room were all a dull grey. The austere architecture painted this place as the DEO. Ah, so that was why she was under Alex's care.

"Lena?! Alex!" Kara skidded to a halt near the door to the control room. Lena can hear the voices of agents and machinery beyond it. "Oh gosh, should... should you be up? Are you okay, Lena? Do you feel any pain? Oh Rao, Alex, what if she's in pain?"

"Kara..." Alex started to say, irritation in her voice, but Lena cut her off.

"Kara, listen to me." Lena held up her hand. "I suggested this. Needed some fresh air. I'm fine. Honest." Yes, her pain has increased a bit, but honestly, she needed out of the medical room.

Plus, this served a dual purpose of showing Alex that perhaps she could go home to rest and do outpatient or whatever happens next for recovery.

Kara wrapped her hands around Lena's, holding it gingerly like she's glass. "Are... are you sure?" She looked so pathetic, that Lena relented.

"Kara, darling," Lena said, gently, "If we're going to get through this, I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"

Kara nodded. "Anything."

"Then trust me when I say I'm okay. Don't assume what I need. Always ask. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I can do that." A hint of relief coated Kara's voice.

Lena realized an important fact about Kara that day. When dealing with a situation Kara couldn't control, Kara needed tasks to do. Even simple ones worked.

She tested this hypothesis the next three days. Her conclusions confirmed her hypothesis correct. Kara truly did a lot better with tasks.

If there was one thing Lena excelled at, it was crafting a list of tasks. Whether she got them all done in a day? That was another story.

On the fourth day, Alex stopped in for the usual check-up. "So, you've really figured my sister out, huh?"

Lena studied Alex carefully, uncertain if the question was in good faith or not. "I'm reconciling all parts of her in my head. I can't say that means I have her figured out."

"No, I mean, you solved it." Alex gestured to the building beyond the medical ward. "She has calmed down by a million percent. I no longer feel the need to kick her off the planet twenty times a day."

Lena couldn't help but chuckle at the image of Alex's boot knocking Kara into orbit. "That annoying, huh?"

"God, yes. I get it, I do. You really scared us. All of us. Even Andrea Rojas has been in my business. And now Sam demands to know when she can visit." Alex scribbled her vitals onto the chart by her bed. "So now Kara is dealing with them. Using your phrases too. 'Don't assume, ask Lena.' I can actually do my duties for once."

"About Andrea and Sam..." Lena leaned back in the bed, fatigued by the act of sitting up. Which was incredibly annoying, but fine, that was her life now. "It's been a few weeks. How are you handling those businesses? I only spoke with Jess once."

"I'm not giving your phone back yet," Alex scolded. "I can't trust you with it. You'll try to solve world hunger or something."

"I was merely answering my emails and..."

"Nope, no work. You can't heal if you're working." Alex capped the marker and stuck it to the board.

Lena rolled her eyes. "Alex, I am dying of boredom. Answering emails won't kill me."

"You weren't though. You were heads deep in programming, and then wondering why your pain was so bad, you couldn't move for a whole day." Alex shook her head. "Can't trust you. And I'd like to."

The way she said those last few words had a seriousness that contrasted her slightly playful, scolding tone from earlier.

"How do I build up that trust then?"

"Prove to me you're serious about this." Again that sense the conversation had a double meaning. Something more than just her health. "I need to see you acknowledge your limits."

Lena frowned. "This conversation isn't just about me, is it?"

Alex put her hands on her hips, oddly similar to Supergirl, except Alex held far more authority in the stance. "Perceptive. Yes. I asked Kara about your confession. It wasn't easy. She finally told me everything. You put her in Kryptonite, Lena."

Lena looked at her hands. "I know," she said, softly, "I remember. I had hoped it wouldn't come to that. It's why I programmed in the sun burst."

"Which is great that you did that, but Lena, can I trust you to never trap Kara in Kryptonite again?"

Lena clenched her fists. "Yes." She met Alex's gaze, resolutely. "I love Kara, Alex. I recognize I fucked up. I lashed out exactly how Lex wanted. Played into his hands again. So as a big fuck you to my brother, I'm going to stick by Kara's side, and do what I can to aid her."

Alex studied her silently for a long moment. "Okay."

Lena raised an eyebrow. "Just okay?"

"Yes, just okay. Geesh, want a rambling speech, ask my sister." Alex walked to the door but paused, her hand on the doorknob. She looked back at Lena. "You're good for her, Lena. Kara has never been as happy than when she's with you. Please don't fuck this up."

"I thought you didn't do rambling speeches?" Lena smirked at Alex's raised middle finger.

"Oh, before I forget, you feel up to start physical therapy?"

"Is this where I prove to you I will honor my limits?" Lena asked dryly.

"You could say that. So a yes?" When she nodded, Alex smiled. "Great."

After the door shut, Lena sat in the semi-darkness and wondered if she could trust Kara and Alex. Could she trust any of them?

She raised her blankets and looked at her legs. They tingled now, but moving them caused pain bursts at the base of her spine. She didn't trust Lilian to help her with this. She did trust Sam, but after ghosting her and not answering her calls for months?

She dropped the blanket and laid down. She needed to trust them, and that scared her far more than any promise to a prickly sister of a Superhero. Trust was not something she did well. It tended to backfire on her, and yet, what else could she do?

Trusting no one but an AI had gotten her exactly nowhere. Other than more heartbreak and stuck in the medical ward, disabled from waist down for who knew how long. She truly did want to get better, but was she hiding from the world by half-assing this recovery?

Kara didn't know the extent of her treachery, or how she'd used the DEO to test the mind-control she'd uncovered from the Martian. Yes, that test had helped Andrea, but it also showed that her programming had a troublesome flaw. One she never quite ironed out. Hope's calculations had been her last ditch effort.

It led her to the same question that had haunted her since she woke up here: why were they helping her? Only her own paranoia answered that question, which wasn't helpful.

She closed her eyes and let the darkness of pain pull her out to sea.

***

When she next opened her eyes, the light was muted even further.

A person snored softly in the chair next to her bed. She turned her head to see Kara slumped there in jeans and a purple button-down shirt. Her blond hair spilled in loose ringlets around her face, and a book perched in her lap.

It was the book she'd been reading out loud to Lena: Poseidon's Wake, a fascinating science fiction romp about aliens, human's hubris, what constituted sentience, and sentient elephants.

On the table just behind Kara's chair, a vase with flowers sat with a card in front of it. She picked it up, the paper rough against her skin. Inside and decorating every page was kind 'get well soon' words from Nia, Brainy, Kelly, and all of Kara's friends.

The people she'd deceived in her single-minded quest of revenge. Her stomach twisted with nausea. The card slipped from her fingers to fall onto her stomach. A small card sat taped to the vase, and that one just read, "From Sam and Ruby."

She sucked in a sharp breath and winced at the pain in her left side.

Kara flinched and sat upright, her eyes blinking sleepily. "Lena?" She focused on her bed and smiled in relief. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

The question bubbled out of her before she could stop herself. "Why is everyone helping me?"

"What do you mean?" Kara reached up to fiddle with her glasses, but she wasn't wearing them so the gesture became tucking hair behind her ear instead.

"I deceived all of you. I hurt you." Lena's voice turned bitter. "Alex said she wants to trust me. That I'm good for you. I knew Kryptonite hurt you and I did it anyway. Why don't they all hate me? Why am I here?"

Kara shrugged. "The cage dropped as soon as you left. Then came your lovely sun bomb thing. I saw the code you used. You programmed that. So that means you never meant to hurt me. And I think you needed to get that all out. I -- I'm sorry it took me so long to understand. So, don't worry, it's okay."

"Okay? Just okay?" Lena couldn't believe her ears. "Kara, I need you to be honest. Why am I your 'exception' to your rules? Why is Alex giving me the shovel talk? What are we to each other?"

Kara sighed. Her fingers drummed against her knee. She took a deep breath and seemed to come to a decision. "Because I love you. I didn't realize how much until our fight. Until I almost lost you." She briefly closes her eyes. "I nearly lost myself to rage. Dunked myself in the ocean to try to calm down. And I couldn't let you die without telling you my last secret."

"Last secret? I -- I know you consider us friends..." Lena had heard Kara say 'love you' before, but this moment felt charged in a way the others did not.

She smiled, sadly. "It's not friendship love. Lena, I love you. Everything about you. I want to be with you in whatever way you'll have me. And if you don't want me around? Say the word and I'll vanish. Well, maybe still save you when needed but only in a professional way I guess."

"Be with me?" God, she was being a parrot again, but the words from Kara's mouth felt unreal. "You love me? And yet deceived me for years?"

Kara slumped in her chair and pulled at a thread on the cuff of her sleeve. "I'm sorry, Lena. I really am."

"Yes, you've said that many times," Lena said. She sighed and picked at her blanket.

For a long moment, she struggled against an absurd urge to cry. Fatigue lined her body and soul, and truthfully? She didn't want to fight Kara or enact revenge any more. Her retaliation hadn't helped her feel better; she'd felt worse instead.

No, maybe she should try the harder road. Talking. God, what would Lillian think of her now? She was going to discuss her feelings instead of of manipulating the universe.

"Did you ever trust me?" Seemed a good place to start.

"Yeah!" Kara nodded. "In most things, and I wanted to trust you about Supergirl. I just." She leaned her head back with a growl of frustration. "At first the DEO pressured me to tell no one, especially you. But then it became about me wanting to be just Kara with you."

"The whole not trusting yourself come into play there?"

Kara nodded. "I let others convince me that not telling you was good. That if I told you, I'd be selfish and ruin a good thing for you."

"Wait, did someone actually advise that?" Lena wrinkled her nose. "Because that's shit advice."

Kara winced. "Mon-el did."

"I see. From now on if someone says lying to me is better for me and honesty is selfishness, just punch them for me, okay?"

Kara blinked at her before bursting into laughter. "Oh Rao, okay, sure, I can definitely do that."

"Great." She imagined Kara punching Mon-el, and it definitely brought more satisfaction than anything she did the past few months. "Do you trust yourself now?"

"I..." Kara hunched down in her chair. "I don't know." She breathed out roughly and a piece of ice formed on her knee. She flicked it to the floor. "When I -- I found you? I lost myself in rage. I killed Rama Khan and his allies. I don't really regret it, but... can I trust myself? Because if you're hurt, I -- I probably should be restrained."

Just as she suspected, guilt threaded through Kara's voice. Lena shifted to the good side, her pain ever present a minor ache from the pain meds. "Will it help to know I trust you?"

Her own words surprised herself. And yet, it was true.

She did trust Kara.

Kara looked up and smiled faintly. "It does actually. I wasn't sure you ever would again."

"Kara, even when I was angry and hurting, I still trusted you with my life. My heart?" She ran a hand through her hair. It needed washing again, which meant asking the evening nurse for help, something she dreaded. "That I couldn't trust you with. But!" She held up a finger to stop Kara's words. She shut her mouth. "I think I'm ready to try. I know this won't be easy. We're both headstrong, but when I'm working with you, I'm a better person. I'd like to find that again."

Kara smiled, tears shining in her eyes. "You feel like home to me. I feel I'm a better person with you too. Even if I'm a bit dramatic about injuries." She rubs her hands on her jeans. "I just, I don't know. I was so worried."

"I know." Lena reached out and touched her wrist. "You've never had someone you love taking this long to recover. A rather intense introduction to mortality, eh?"

"You died for twenty seconds, Lena," Kara whispered.

"Are you focused on that or on the fact I'm alive?"

Kara tilted her head and stared at Lena. "What do you mean?"

Lena waved her hand impatiently, then winced. Her side ached at the movement. "If you focus on that fact and not on the present moment of me, recovering, then you become trapped in the past. You can't move forward, can't plan, and your actions become only reactions. Never a conscious, informed act."

"Oh." Kara tapped her fingers against her leg. "You know, that's a good point. Death has made you wise."

Lena shrugged. "Maybe. I need the reminder myself sometimes."

For a moment, both listened to the drip of the IV.

"I didn't have these powers on Krypton," Kara said suddenly, "I was just a normal kid, well, as normal as the first thirteen year old inducted into the Science Guild could be." A slight smile tinged her lips, but it faded into melancholy.

"You were a scientist?" It surprised her a little.

Kara nodded. "Bred to be so."

"Wait, I'm sorry, bred?"

Kara smiled. "The birth matrix is how we reproduced. It was very rare to have a natural birth like Kal's parents. Usually parents like to edit the child's genes. I was modeled to be a scientist like most of the El family."

Lena hummed thoughtfully. "I'd love to hear more about Krypton, Kara. If you'd like to share." She definitely had questions, though she' wasn't sure how best to ask.

"Thank you." Kara reached out to grasp her hand. "No one has every really said that to me?"

"Seriously?" Lena frowned. "Then consider the offer standing. Whatever you wish to share, I will listen."

"And the same for you. I want to hear what you have to say. Your thoughts. Hopes, dreams, random ideas, anything."

Lena smiles, but one last question still haunts her. "One last question. You've said 'just Kara' a lot. You've always been just Kara to me. Did you think I'd treat you differently if I knew?"

Kara winced visibly. "Yeah? Everyone does. I mean, look at Winn as an example. I wasn't just Kara to him anymore, and he became obsessed with superhero stuff. James knew thanks to Kal. Nia treats me as her superhero mentor. It's just over and over people failed to see me. They saw the cape, and either wanted to be like the cape --"

"James," Lena murmured, thinking of his guardian stunts.

"Or helping the cape. I wasn't just Kara, and I could be that with you, and it felt so good. Like coming home. It's why I can't stay away. I want to make this right, Lena." She yanked the thread free of the cuff. "So, uh, that's why I'll help you with your Myriad plan if you want."

"What?" Lena stared at Kara. "You don't know what it is yet."

Kara shrugged. "So? It's you. I want to help you no matter what. If I have to hang up the cape and go undercover to do it, then fine."

None of Kara's words made any sense to Lena. Her head ached again, and a faint scent of peaches wafted from the pain meds. She tried not to think of her legs.

"The project is dead," Lena said, flatly. "You might as well take Myriad back. It won't happen any time soon. Especially not with this." She waves a hand weakly toward her legs. "I can't feel them yet."

Kara reached over and grasped Lena's hand. The warmth sent a shiver down Lena's spine. "Then I'll help you recover. Whatever you need."

"Kara..." Lena sighs. "What if I hurt you again?"

"I hurt you first," Kara said. She winced, "I mean, not to make a contest of it. But yeah, we hurt each other. So that's a thing we did. But here we are, both of us alive despite it all. And yeah, we might hurt one another again, but I think you're worth it. You're beautiful, Lena, outside and inside. That hasn't changed. I want to work on us if you're game."

Lena recalled her words at the Fortress, said in anguish, "You don't get to tell me who I am anymore." But that had been a lie. She'd wanted so bad for things to be real with Kara. To be loved by Kara. To not have it all snatched away.

She'd wanted to fix it all, but it had not occurred to her she could just talk it through with Kara.

For several long minutes, she quietly breathed and sorted her thoughts. The pain simmered annoyingly, but she wasn't ready to sleep again. Not yet.

"This isn't easy for me," Lena said, carefully. She winced at the pain along her side, but she wanted to get this out. "I wanted to fix the pain. To somehow stop others from hurting one another."

"With your project?"

Lena sighed. "It doesn't matter. Hope was lost and she's needed to run the calculations. And would it have stopped the pain? I don't know. I didn't have time for proper tests. It wasn't ready, but Leviathan kept accelerated my timeline."

"So you sought to end all pain?" Kara tiled her head. "Isn't that kind of... mind control?"

Nausea swirled in Lena's stomach. Those words reminded her of Lex's journals, of his experiments, of his experiments on her. God, Lex really had played her, hadn't he? He knew she'd read his journals, knew she'd turn on Kara for her lies. "It's for the best," she whispered, "that it failed. Lex manipulating me by driving a wedge between us." She fiddles with the strings on the blanket's edge. "He has a habit of snatching away all the good in my life. He tried to destroy what we had. Like a fool I fell for it."

"No, well, maybe for a little while. But we're still here, and we're being honest." She lifted Lena's hand and gently kissed her knuckles. "I understand you might not believe me now, but I'll prove it."

Lena sighed. She wasn't sure what to say to that. The medicine dulled her thoughts, drew back the pain, but now fatigue corded through her body. "You already are. And I want to work on us too." "So where do we go from here?" Kara asked.

Where did they go from here indeed? She knew this was a stupid idea, that she shouldn't allow it, but with the Fortress fight, the assassin, almost dying, surgery, long recovery, and now this?

Lena weakly tugged on Kara's hand. "Ask me later. Right now... can -- can you hold me? I don't want to be alone." Her words came out small and shaky. This asking for things scared her as much as it thrilled her.

"Of course." Kara graced her with one of her winning smiles. She gently moved Lena just enough for her to slip onto the bed next to her. Her arms wrapped around Lena, and warmth embraced Lena from head to toe.

She buried her face in Kara's shirt, and breathed in her vanilla scent.

The anger and pain that had fueled her for months no longer simmered in her gut. Part of her feared giving Kara another chance, but at the same time, her traitorous heart shouted in relief at being in Kara's arms. The hurt hadn't full gone away, but its edges had softened.

"You've always been her exception," Alex had said.

Maybe starting tonight Kara could be her exception. Instead of more revenge plots or running, she'd stay and work on whatever this was between them. No matter how hard it became. Maybe someday soon she can say the words out loud, that she truly did love Kara.

Because even in the fires of hardship and pain, a rock could still become a gemstone.

Epilogue incoming