#super validating to have people you're attracted to call you attractive

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

yet another post about sex and attraction (and how it manifests in Simon)

(this time with ~quotes~)

I wrote a lot of posts about how attraction and sex is portrayed with Simon in these books (it's an issue, not being able to shut up)... I saved some screenshots here when I was cleaning up my gallery a couple of months ago because, well. They support a lot of things I have been saying.

When Simon calls himself a Baz-sexual, he's not just being goofy! In the context of thinking about having sex, he says "Baz is the only person I've EVER wanted" (let me emphasize the already emphasized ever again, in case it's not clear). Simon is not comfortable thinking about sex (iirc even in his memory, it's memory-Baz who says "sex") (as a side-note, dunno why people see Baz as being shy or scandalized about this shit like... the guy will just simply say the word sex. His issues with pursuing his desires are a different thing.) Simon is not going to elaborate in a super explicit way like "I have never thought 'I want to have sex with this person' about anybody until I figured I wanted to have sex with Baz" He's not comfortable processing his relationship with Agatha either, so it's notable that he would say this in hindsight, because this is already answering a lot while avoiding the things he's the most uncomfortable with (he didn't truly want sex with her – he's just beginning to discover where he even stands on sex right in front of us)

This is Simon expressing himself in the way he's able, in the way he's the most comfortable: by focusing on Baz. And it's not a thing where he has felt attraction before and Baz is different because it's just more intense when you're in love (which is obviously a valid and real experience, it's just not what's going on with good ol' Simon). He's saying "Baz is the only person I've ever wanted"... And that emphasis on ever? very intentional. One could say it's correcting any previous statement in CO where a character or two might be expressing the belief that Simon wants Agatha, the person (as opposed to things attached to her) (Baz we're gonna get you to work through your shit one of these days my beloved) (Simon himself, but he's mistakingly saying "I've always wanted to date her" when the example he goes by to support this point conveys "I want to be like her" among a list of other things.... "I've always wanted Agatha" -> "Baz is the only person I've ever wanted"... see what he's doing? and note how one is thought in the context of Simon projecting things like strength and acceptance into her beauty and the other in the context of having sex)

"Simon doesn't know what attraction feels like, he begins to figure it out right in front of us when he figures he wants Baz," I say. "He has simply not experienced attraction until Baz," I say (and so did the author after CO came out, when the sequels weren't even a thought yet, and she said it again after awtwb came out. I don't need 'word of god' to support what I say because there's a lot to pick up from the books, such as the screenshots you see here, but it's nice to have the extra confirmation. I'm not made of stone, I know I'm not immune to biases and the like, but I'm not just seeing shit here!)"

Also: sex for the sake of sex doesn't cut it for Simon. This is someone who's not only discovering the point of sex... he's discovering the point of being horny (which also sounds like someone who has not experienced pleasure outside of food, which is the one thing Simon associates with that). I mean, he sounds like someone who's just discovering they're even capable of being horny for real (even though he was being horny when he picked up fights with Baz years ago... that was unconscious... he has been horny for Baz for years, but the awareness wasn't there, and he mistakes his feelings for something else like missing Baz=being lonely or bored, horny for Baz=anger or frustration etc). Passion, attraction, horniness, you name it – he's figuring this shit out on the page right in front of us. He's figuring it out now because he hasn't felt it before. This isn't new for Baz, who has masturbated to thoughts of Simon ("I can have this" is what's new for him) but it's completely new for Simon. Being aware of such feelings and trying to work through them is new. And he's wondering "What do I do with this?"...

Simon, horny to the point he's dry-humping Baz in a public space: I don't understand what's happening here. All this also ties into how Simon isn't used to making decisions for himself by himself – he has always had a map (other people telling him what to do/what they expect of him) and he's not used to process his feelings. Processing such intense feelings is already a lot, but then... what's next? What are you supposed to do with feelings so big you feel like you're about to explode? (going off).

This is part of why it's so difficult for Simon. "He's so worked up his magic is leaking"... He can't get worked up without his magic leaking... and you expect me to believe this is someone who could enjoy sex in any way shape or form with the girl who can't tolerate his magic? Let's be serious.

If anything, he would not be able to have sex with someone he's not magically compatible with while actually feeling shit. His magic would stop it before it really got anywhere (so if you're going anywhere, he's not feeling it). Just like Baz says, he goes from 0 to 100: from struggling to have any feelings to feeling so much he could explode. It's part of why it's so difficult with Baz, and why being with Baz pushes him to start figuring things out. He's feeling now.

(This also shows Baz's gentle heart from very early on. Introduced as an essential part of his character, one might say!! Almost like he has always been soft at heart and didn't feel allowed to show it! Like perhaps his environment and being pressured into and confined to a role and expectations that went against his nature made him sad and bitter and act up!)

I think the most important thing here is how special this moment is with Baz – it's so good because he feels like he's building something with Baz there. They're connecting... They also match with "I want the other person so much, but am I allowed to act on these desires? Do I deserve it?" they both feel this way. And allowing themselves to have what they want (the other) is an experience comparable to magic itself.

After appreciating the importance of this moment... we can start looking at the little details. This scene was the starting point of me taking Simon's magic into consideration – that perhaps this is where Simon first experiences a relief that's not destructive. Before that, the only form of release he knew was just going off with his magic. Is this magic? is about how magical that moment is, yes. But also... Is this magic? he thinks while having an orgasm. It could be said that an orgasm is like going off – Simon only knew about going off by releasing his magic, and magic made it so he wouldn't have been able to go off in any other way without that being an actual danger (perhaps like how discovering his true desires would have been a danger to the structure he used to live with then, the traditional expectations and the role he was fulfilling)

Also, how would he even get worked up when he doesn't know what he wants? when he doesn't know what type of touch he even tolerates? When he doesn't think? (and for the record: you can get body parts to react with any touch without actually feeling it, I have posted about that too, look up arousal non-concordance etc). He's just starting to figure out these things when he's with Baz. Before being together, he got worked up with Baz all the time, but he didn't know what it was. He didn't know what any of it was (again, like when he missed Baz terribly but he just thought he was hungry or lonely or bored). Now that he knows he wants him, everything is so... much. It overwhelms him. I mean, consider this... This is very complicated, and it's also the first time Simon is left alone to figure it out by himself, free of expectations – the very thing that caged him also provided instructions of what to do, so it was easier to just act without thinking. There's no map here, no instruction... until Baz starts to guide him.

This is another thing that gets missed a lot: Simon is inexperienced. Doesn't matter that he has had sex before – he's showing you his inexperience with his questions, in the way he knows he wants to touch Baz but has no idea what to actually do. In a way, Baz has experience, even if it's not a lot, because he knows himself. He has experience feeling his desire and doing something about it, even if it's just by himself (masturbation as self-discovery: yet another reason Simon would not have been able to do it). It's why Baz guides, and why Simon finally feels like they have it figured out once Baz "starts driving." Baz telling him what he wants (which is also a good grounding technique to avoid dissociation) or figuring out what he wants provides Simon with the mission, the map, the guidance he craves. Only this time, it goes hand in hand with figuring out his own wants.

(I'm probably forgetting something I wanted to say here. Anyway, let me highlight how obsessed Simon is with Baz... Simon "I know his face better than my own" Snow, who has every microexpression Baz makes carefully cataloged in his head, doesn't know what Baz's face looks like when he feels pleasure, and he needs to change that expeditiously. He said the lights must be ON during sex with Baz.) (I probably going to post this little parenthesis again. I know very few people read these long ass posts until the end and I need the people to think about this)

[ddarker-dreams]

Scarlet ribbons but she is the one telling the boys how she thinks they are super pretty/handsome/etc.

(Ps love your writing sm, it cheered me up alot after i had a rough day yesterday uwu)

WAHH WHAT AN ADORABLE IDEA.... it's what they deserve tbh... my favs from part 5 are like the only people who get to be happy on this blog hrjktmger and i'm so glad that my writing helped cheer you up, i hope that the past few days have been treating you better!!

Reader is referred to as girlfriend here!

[Scarlet Ribbons index]

Giorno

He gets the cutest blush that he tries to hide by covering his face with his hand and clearing his throat. Passione's Don, who remains unwavering in the face of death, can't handle his beloved heaping praises upon him. No matter how suave he may act, your relationship is his first foray into romance. There's a slight shakiness to his voice when he returns your compliment. It doesn't help that there's this glint in your eye that tells him you'll be using this newfound knowledge to your advantage. He supposes it's only fair, considering his penchant for teasing you whenever possible, but maybe he'll go easy on you after learning how it feels. That isn't to say he dislikes your kind words — more so that the temporary loss in his composure is a strange sensation. Strange, yet not unwelcome.

Bruno

Your serious Capo melts on the spot at such ardent praise — he can feel Cupid's arrow piercing him in real time. He takes a moment to recollect himself, before wondering aloud what brought this on. When you point out that he compliments you all the time without any real reason, he puts his hands up in defense, conceding to your argument. If you're in public, he'll limit his response to a warm thank you. Should you be away from prying eyes, however, he'll pull you into an embrace. It serves a dual purpose. You won't be able to see the pink dusting his cheeks and he gets to wrap you up in his arms. You really are the light of his life, he'll tell you. As unconventional as the lifestyle you both lead is, it's moments like this where he delights in a shred of normalcy.

Fugo

His overactive brain temporarily short circuits. Fugo is the type to blush up to his ears, no matter how vehemently he denies it. This poor guy considers you infinitely out of his league and immediately assumes you broke the espresso machine or something and want to soften the blow by using flattery. He sputters for a few moments before his tongue recalls how to properly form coherent words. He'll downright ask what angle you're trying to use here. He isn't used to receiving compliments without the other person having an end goal in mind. Once it's clear you just felt like letting him know, he takes deep breaths to calm his heart, which he can hear thumping loudly. Fugo then starts saying that objectively speaking, you are far more aesthetically pleasing, and starts lifting off some mathematical terms that fly over your head.

Mista

Mista points at himself and says "Me?" just to make sure he heard you right. This is a big moment for him. It isn't that he doubts your physical attraction to him, but hearing it confirmed out loud in your sweet voice is a real treat. He'll sling an arm around your shoulder and drops the line, "You're not so bad yourself", because he thinks it sounds cool. Mista wants to maintain his laidback air, but when you say stuff like that, his stomach does soumersalts and his hands start sweating. He has this big goofy grin and confident gait the remainder of the day. The one trade off (in his opinion) is that the Pistols start swarming about, insisting that you pay them equal praise. Chaos ensues until you appease their neediness for your validation. It is his soul made manifest, after all.

Narancia

Narancia does a little fist pump and starts cheering internally. Although, if you called him pretty, he might pause and get petulant. He totally exudes machismo, he'll insist. He'll warm up to the compliment eventually, though, but he won't admit it. Regardless, he's hype about it. His energy skyrockets the rest of the day. He's all over you, peppering your face with kisses, picking you up and twirling you around, he's on cloud nine. He considers it his personal mission to shower you in praise and this only reaffirms the creed. He'll go up to random people in public, point at you, and say stuff like, "Isn't she so cute? That's my girlfriend, yeah, that pretty lady over there. Do you see her? Just look at her, she's amazing, the coolest ever, did you know she—" and on and on he'll go.

Abbacchio

Similar to Fugo, he initially assumes that you're trying to butter him up. He'll wryly ask what you intend to cajole him into doing. When you huff and insist that this is a no strings attached compliment, he'll study you, since he knows the many tells that signify you're lying. Upon realizing you're being genuine, he'll grumble a few words of gratitude and leave it at that. Don't let his composure fool you — his heart is pounding away like he's a hormonal teenager again. He will lie awake that night, your words repeating on a loop without his Stand's assistance, floating in this warm and fuzzy sensation. Abbacchio might not be the best with his words, but he swears an oath to compliment you properly the next time he sees you.

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

You Need To Decenter Men From Your Life 

Heyyyy babes<3 We will be working on decentering men from our life. This is super important! As women, we are taught to appeal to the male gaze and do everything for male validation. This can affect many young women. Causing them to have trouble being themselves and dealing with insecurities. This is also for my girlies who are serial daters. You have never been in a season of your life where you were truly single. You use relationships to ignore the real problems you have with yourself. This post is not to bash men! It is to help you ladies decent men from your life so you can start your self-love journey<3

How to decenter men

♡ Focus on making your teens and twenties about you! How can you love someone and you don't even love yourself? Self-love is the best form of love! Take this time to get to know yourself and pour into yourself. Travel, test different careers, make new friends, and so on. Your teens and twenties especially your twenties are the most important years of your life and you won't get them back so really take this time to focus on bettering and improving yourself inside out so when you start dating again you feel and know you are the prize.

♡ Let go of society's beauty standard! Most of us will NEVER be the beauty standard. You may have certain attributes that fit into the beauty standard but not all and that is okay. Your higher power created you a certain way for a certain reason. Beauty standards change! In the 90s thin was in. The model body was the beauty standard now having curves specifically an hourglass figure is the beauty standard and it is funny because 20 years ago if you told a girl she was curvy or had a big butt she’d feel insulted. 

♡ Validate yourself. Let your opinion of your beauty be the #1 opinion. Affirm yourself in your beauty and remind yourself you are that girl! Compliments are nice to hear but your confidence shouldn't change because someone calls you unattractive. We are all attractive and unattractive to someone. You deserve to be loved and you're beautiful. Tell yourself that and believe it don't wait for a man to come and tell you before you can truly believe it.

♡ Learn to enjoy your own company. I understand wanting to have someone, going on dates, and receiving flowers but you need to take this season of singleness and pause especially if you haven't been single in a long time. Learn to enjoy being alone, find hobbies, take yourself out on dates, buy yourself flowers, write love letters to yourself, and heal your internal wounds. 

♡ Be realistic about men. They are people just like us lol the eat, sleep, and poop. Men aren't perfect individuals they have their insecurities and issues. And this isn't me trying to talk down on men I like men lol. But once you take them down from this pedestal you will be able to see them as regular people.

♡ Reads books on decentering me. Try and find books on this topic to educate yourself further on decentering men. There are amazing books on amazon I will list a few for you ladies to check out<3.

Book Recommendations

♡ How to Be Single and Happy by Jennifer L.Taitz

♡ Healing the Purpose of Your Life by Dennis Linn

♡ Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends by Dr. Marisa G Franco

Comment any tips that you have, and share any books, podcasts, and YouTubers! Thank you so much for all 172 of you babesss love youuuu ladiesss<3

[improbable-outset]

Do you ever feel like you're going insane when you read smut that makes like ..no fucking sense for the character. Like when ppl write Kenji as if he's some sort of bad boy womanizer and it's not an au he's just like that and it's ..that is???? Not the same man from the movie??? Like yeye bad boys hot but that's a decently polite young man? He memorized all of the reporters names... And knows their favorite teams??? He literally packed his entire life and career because his mom asked him to. Like he only lost his cool under extreme sleep deprivation blatant harassment and the assumption that his father was dead. Tbh the fact he didn't go villain after he though Emi died. Kinda a testament to that man's good boy status. Cause love Miguel but he'd have snapped in that moment (might feel bad after but like that would be after the fact) actually Miguel would've snapped way sooner probably between being told to go back to America and baby getting hurt the first time.

Also aside from baseball stuff Kenji touches things very gently like minimum points of contact, he's terrified of breaking his surroundings people please stop asking him to choke you and choke him instead and call him a good boy. He needs the validation to thrive.

TL:DR

Ouff anon, when I received this ask in my inbox, the first thing I thought of was, “I really hope my writing doesn’t come off like this.”

Because while fanfiction gives writers the freedom to explore characters in various ways, I do think that there’s something special and more refreshing about honoring the complexity of characters and their flaws.

Fanfictions are meant to be fun and imaginative, but it can be jarring when a character’s entire personality gets altered for the sake of fitting a popular trope.

I understand where you’re coming from, though, anon. It’s common for characters to be written into a familiar trope like the ‘dominant bad boy’ even if it doesn’t fit their canon personality.

However, this isn’t something new. People have been doing this for a long time, and I think it’s influenced by platforms like Wattpad, where those kind of characters are super popular.

People gobble that shit up so fast. And it’s become more prominent now and I think it might be because of BokTok. (Don’t take my word for it, this is an extremely biased opinion)

People will apply that trope to attractive characters from different media, and it can often lead to the character being portrayed in a way that contradicts their established personality.

And you’re right, Kenji's softer, more respectful nature might get overwritten because people might prioritise their own fantasies over canon, which might make them feel out of place a litte.

My guess, self indulging.

He is polite and thoughtful, and he definitely has that ‘good boy’ energy like you said. Those small details that you’ve mentioned paint the picture of who he truly is, but sometimes can be lost in fanfics when the focus is on making him fit the bad boy role.

I’m gonna drop some headcanons here, but I think part of Kenji’s politeness came from the struggles he faced when he lived in LA— being made fun of for the way he talks, his culture, and the food he ate.

It makes sense that he might have developed some people-pleasing tendencies from that, almost gentle demeanor, especially on camera. He’s someone who doesn’t want to mess up and tries to stay composed because that’s what people expect from him.

You mentioned Miguel and how he might’ve snapped way sooner. But, you have to understand that Miguel isn’t like for no reason.

His intense emotions and anger is rooted in his guilt. He literally collapsed an entire dimension and accidentally committed omniscide by disrupting a canon unknowingly.

He’s angry and defensive because he doesn’t want to make that mistake again. His strict, no-nonsense attitude is a shield and a defence mechanism as he prevents another catastrophe.

I don’t want to make it seem like I’m comparing their traumas. Both men have their own issues and which makes them unique and shapes their character in different ways.

Kenji is dealing with the pressure of his strained relationship with his father, the expectations of taking over his Ultraman duties, and the lingering pain of being bullied and his absent mother.

Similarly, Miguel’s trauma of losing a dimension and disrupting a canon unknowingly fuels his strict personality.

The only reason I’m delving into Miguel is that he’s another character who often gets rewritten for the sake of thirst or popular tropes, (and mischaracterised for being aggressive) when in reality, his harshness is a product of his deep emotional scar.

And just because a character is attractive doesn’t mean we should ignore the layers that make them compelling.

Both Kenji and Miguel are rich characters to explore with emotional depth shaped by their past experiences.

And I think it’s important to understand and respect those complexities (unless it’s an AU), rather than moulding them into a trope that doesn’t align with their backstories.

Of course, fanfiction is about fandom’s creativity and self-indulging, and people are free to interpret characters how they like, but I understand the frustration when you come across a fic or a set of headcanons that feel out of place with the original character.

[tashas-cauldron-of-magic-soup]

Why are we still talking about this?

So people are being weird about Astarion again (again? still?) and his being pansexual and I don't know what's good for me so I'm going to drop in my two cents. Sorry for a long post.

The post that set some of this off broached the very heteronormative headcanons and player relationships that tend to dominate the fandom tag for Astarion, and likely many other fandom spaces. Such as headcanons about him becoming a father, him being portrayed as a dominant or very masculine man, etc.

And I want to start off by saying that there is a kernel of truth to the concerns brought up in this post. Largely, I think the topic that OP brought up is valid. The tendency for a character's sexuality or personality to be either reduced, or wholly erased, within fandom is unfortunately prevalent. Especially towards the direction of cis-heteronormative ideals.

I, too, understand there is an oversaturation of F!Tav x Astartion content as someone who is genderfluid and pansexual. While headcanons about Astarion as a parent are not inherently heteronormative, I absolutely understand that many of them are. And headcanons about him being this domineering, super "alpha" type man are also very heteronormative running counter to his canon personality.

And I have a laugh to myself when said content is wildly antithetical to how I view Astarion's personality and tendencies. I, personally, think he'd make a horrible father. And I don't think he'd be overly dominant sexually, either. So I understand where the jokes about these headcanons come from.

But there are two really unsavory sentiments getting tossed around and it's getting a little too close for comfort.

The first one being that women are somehow "ruining" Astarion. You may not think that's how you come across, but it is. The reality is many women playing BG3 are heterosexual. And to treat heterosexual women as incapable of loving Astarion for who he is, queerness and all, is a big generalization to make. Women are capable of loving a queer man, even if they themselves are not queer.

Not the mention, you have no guarantees that the woman shipping her Tav with Astarion is heterosexual or cisgender. There are queer women who love Astarion. There are trans women who love Astarion. So, I'm asking you to cool it a little when you see a woman indulge her fantasy of falling in love with Astarion and don't make a snap judgement of her intentions.

The second one is the recurring belief that Astarion should be considered canonically gay. This is troublesome because he does already have a canonical sexuality. It's pansexual. If you headcanon him as gay, that's whatever. It's less loaded that calling him straight, sure, since you're trading one queer identity for another. But you can't say it's canon, or more "correct" than any other headcanon. It's your opinion, and it is subjective.

And please do deconstruct why it is that you wish him to be a sexuality other than pansexual. What is it about him that makes you reject that he can be attracted to women?

Let me be clear, the people out there attempting to erase his pansexuality and claim that he is straight are not true to his character. That isn't canon and you shouldn't have to treat it like it is.

The people attempting to erase his pansexuality and claim that he is gay are also not true. That also is not canon and you shouldn't have to treat it like it is.

Headcanon whatever you want, I can't stop you. But please refrain from falling into weirdly misogynistic "women are yucky" arguments or weirdly panphobic "he's too effeminate to be attracted to women" arguments to get your point across regarding the prevalence of heteronormative ideals being pushed on him.

[deerboybreeder]

About the detrans stuff- I'm ftm and used to be really into detrans kink, but I also always felt like shit afterwards. It took a bit of work but it turns out I was only into it because I thought that was the only way I'd be attractive to cis men. I'm also really into pregnancy and lactation so that worked with it too. I just really needed validation from men

I think what I'm trying to say is it's not uncommon to think you're into a kink only for it to actually be a trauma response. That doesn't mean you have to drop the kink, you just have to mess around a bit with your boundaries within that kink to figure out what works and what doesn't

I ended up dropping the misgendering part of detrans. But I'm still into having to halt my transition/detransition because someone got me pregnant. That kinda thing

I really appreciate the insight anon! I think I might be in a similar situation, because so much of the content that doesn't actually suck for me later on has to do with pregnancy and it stopping my transition. It really does feel like I'm prioritizing the cis opinion of me in the mindset I get in when I'm posting detrans stuff, which is stupid because I'm mostly T4T (or at least prioritize relationships w other trans ppl) anyway.

I already know I get super caught up in needing validation and attention from people sexual or otherwise, it's definitely a Problem like even irl for me, so I think yeah, it's me trying to appeal to cis men more.

I still like the idea of being forced to stop medical transition because of pregnancy, and someone doing it with the intent to feminize me, but I think I am going to lay off the "you'll never be a real man" type stuff. I don't mind the feminine titles (ie "I'm gonna make you a mom"/"now you're my wife"/"breeder gf"), but maybe that's the GNC part of me playing with gender more than actually misgendering, or like how some gay men call each other girl? But I'm definitely gonna drop the body parts = gender part of it I think for a while... Degendering I think is fine it comes with the dehumanization which I'm super into, but I might lay off the misgendering and gender specific bioessentialism. Still a big fan of the "you have a womb so it's gotta be filled" thing, but that makes me feel less like a woman which I don't like, and more like a thing with a purpose and role that isn't inherently gendered, which is good for me I think.

I also think? I dunno, someone posted before that the appeal of detrans for a lot of people is the sexualization of how our bodies can change so much and honestly that's dead on, so focusing on being made to change my body is probably the sweet spot! That change is part of the pregnancy + lactation appeal too tbh. So less "I'm detransing you because you're actually a woman" and more "I'm detransing you because you're hotter to me looking like this regardless of your identity, if you're going to be a man I want you to look this way". Which, also ties into my st*rv*tion kink which I don't post about here so I don't get nuked lol....

TLDR; Thank you anon sm for your insight! Definitely going to tweak my boundaries a bit and see how that works out for me.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Fetishization of trans people is a really complicated topic for me personally, as it seems the primary logic for whether or not writing or art fetishizes trans people is "I know it when I see it". This is almost never true by the way. Very affirmative art gets labeled as fetishization all the time, and really I think it's important to have actual ideas on what fetishization actually is and how it manifests.

It should be said, first of all, that fetishization is not attraction to any specific part of a trans person's body. It is not fetishization to find girlcock or boypussy hot. It is not fetishization to find trans men with breasts or trans women without breasts hot. This is just, attraction, and attraction is not the same as fetishization.

Fetishization is also not specifically a totally bad thing either. This is going to be interesting to note because a lot of fetishization happens all the time. People fetishize shoes, people fetishize feet, people fetishize leggins, gloves, hands, teeth. This isn't a bad thing! It comes down to how you treat other people. If your reaction to seeing someone's feet in a non-sexual setting is to get weird about it, that's bad! Likewise, it's okay to find your trans partners super hot for various different reasons. But the problem creeps in when you stop viewing them as people worthy of love and affection and respect, and more as a vehicle for sexual stimulation and pleasure.

For example, it's fine to want to be pegged by your trans girlfriend, especially if she enjoys it. Wanting a sexual act isn't a bad thing. What is bad is if your entire relationship with trans women is viewing them as convenient dommy mommies for when you want anal sex. Not only is there maybe some potential homophobia you need to work out in this whole deal, but trans women stop existing as people and have been delegated and more as convenient women with dicks.

It's also a lot easier to identify this objectification (which is what I'm calling it now, because well, it is) as a pattern of behavior rather than any specific instance. A pattern of behavior communicates intent a lot better than simply a specific piece. You may not like a story or a piece of art, but if its just one piece that has scrolled through your dash, is it more likely that it's the work of an evil person who is objectifying trans people, or that you just have different tastes?

A lot of times, this objectification is pretty narrow too. The person who draws a variety of trans men and trans women is probably not objectifying them, but the person who does it all in a specific way might be. Emphasis on the might, you have to do a little more digging than just "vibes". So when someone does one thing (like make all of their trans women AUs of male characters and keep their appearances identical) very consistently, it tends to come off weird.

Trans women, for example, exist at many points in their transition for a wide variety of reasons. Some trans women can't or don't want to medically transition, or even socially transition. Some have just started socially transitioning. Some have just started medically transitioning. Some medically transition but don't want to change their wardrobe. Some do HRT only and no surgery. Some do only bottom surgery. Some do facial feminization surgery. All of these are valid, and ALL of these are worth depicting. Trans women, no matter who they are, deserve to be seen.

(This is also true of trans men and nonbinary people for the record, but I am not of those groups so I do not want to speak super authoritatively about it.)

If you're worried about being the person that is doing this, the best thing to do is to start creating trans people that are different from the ones you have been. Start exploring them as a diverse group of people and not a monolith.

[stormysapphic]

[disclaimer: i have no intention to hurt anyone's feelings or start fights with this post! i would, however, really like it if people of any and all viewpoints on this topic commented on it and shared their thoughts with me in good faith! thanks. <3] i've been thinking about "bi lesbianism" lately - not in terms of whether i'm "for it or against it", because i frankly don't think it's my place to say. and because ultimately i have no problem with someone i don't even know identifying as a bi lesbian if that's truly the combination of words that they feel best describes the complexity of their experiences. but i also think that piling labels upon labels in an attempt to fully encompass something that'll never be fully dissected and simplified anyway - sexuality is complex for everyone in one way or another - is a futile attempt and not really how labels work in wider queer communities outside your super insulated discourse bubble anyway. understand that, while you're out here on tumblr fighting tooth and nail explaining to people why you're valid, there are already bi women out there in the real world who go to lesbian support groups and call themselves lesbians in that context and no one cares. there are wlw who think they probably have some sort of attraction to men but never want to date one so they call themselves lesbians and no one cares. there are wlw who aren't attracted to men but are in long term partnerships with them and therefore identify with the bi community and are welcomed there. and i've seen some people use all of that as an example for why identifying as a bi lesbian is logical and without issue, but i kind of feel the exact opposite. like, we already get that bi and pan for example are overlapping labels and someone chooses which one they use based on their preference and the (social, political...) situation they're in. we don't need you to say you're Bi-Pan, we'll get it from the context. in my mind, that has always also applied to the overlapping of lesbian and bi experiences. in addition, i see many of the people in the mspec lesbian/gay circles say stuff like "sexuality is fluid and not binary or clear-cut" but then treat their own labels as if they're all static identities. shouldn't that philosophy of fluidity and complexity make it easier than most to understand that you can go to the lesbian support group wearing the label lesbian & then go back home to your (male) boyfriend and exist under the bi label? and in the same way, understand that calling yourself a lesbian right after mentioning you're dating a man doesn't really make sense? because i can assure you that in the wider world of queer communities no one minds. when my friend says "i love being a lesbian" even though they're technically bi and usually identify as such, or i say "i'm a lesbian but also kind of a guy", people understand. but if my friend was pushing semantic arguments like "actually, lesbians who are attracted to men exist and here's why" at the lesbian support group meeting, or if i were to write on my dating profile that my gender is male and my sexuality is lesbian, sure, that would confuse and frustrate people & understandably so, imo. and if the reason you use a million different labels at once is bc it makes you feel connected to yourself and your identity and community, more power to you, honestly! i'm seeing more and more dykefags and fagdykes lately, so why not bi lesbians too, i guess. but i hope you know that having words to describe every aspect of yourself isn't what makes your experiences valid or invalid.

[redtail-lol]

heyey dw abt dykepridee

everything theyve sent was in assuming bad faith and theyre not worth arguing with. they're just trying to stir up discourse to feel superior about themselves

dont worry, dont waste your energy, Im sorry theyre bothering you. they came up to me and 2 other people as well, assumed I romanticised stalking with 0 proof past the gender itself, called faunic attraction 'no-dick attraction' which is super insensitive, and reblogged someone else assuming a term related to sleepiness must be romanticising... narcolepsy, out of every other possible sleep disorder?

I have no idea how someone is okay with being a pan lesbian while they constantly assume bad faith about identities theyre unfamiliar with, aka you know, the same thing people are doing to mspec lesbians.

@kirugorture

Thank you. I don't get why someone, especially someone who is nonbinary, sees a post that essentially boils down to "nonbinary people are not men or women and they shouldn't be misgendered by people calling themselves monosexual because apparently being attracted to nonbinary genders 'doesn't count' as mspec because they're not one of the 'REAL genders' and people who are attracted to women and enby genders only can call themselves mspec lesbians or just lesbians but by calling themselves mono they are saying those nb people are just women" and has an issue with it.

Also good to know about faunic, because I literally... Am faunic?? It's not "no-dick attraction" it's being attracted to people who are not men, and I'm actually favorable to dating non-op trans women and AMAB enbies. I'm a non-man and I'm attracted to non-men and I'm allowed to have a label to describe that. If it's a bad definition for lesbian then fine now it isn't for lesbian it's for faunic/daunic. Not being attracted to men, and wanting a label for that... Isn't wrong? At all?

(also genital preferences are valid so L + Ratio dykepridee people are allowed to not like dick or not like pussy and that's FINE.)

I don't think they even understand what I was saying. I wasn't excluding nb-attracted lesbians from being lesbians, or even exclusive lesbians. I am one! I call myself an exclusive lesbian all the time. It's just not mono. It will never be mono to be attracted to women AND to people who are not women!! Yet exclusionists constantly define themselves as mono even though they include nb folk, which is misgendering them, and my post was to call out the rampant misgendering of nonbinary people that these lesbians partake in, even some being nonbinary themselves, because otherwise they'd have to acknowledge that mspec lesbians make sense and are valid

In short: my whole purpose in writing the post was to call out the rampant misgendering of nonbinary people within the (exclus) lesbian community for the purpose of pretending lesbian is a strictly monosexual label. People never talk about it and it needs to be talked about.

Their "counterpoint" that no one cares in real life is so... Bad. It missed the point, it was pretty clear they had entirely missed the point, and also, "no one in real life cares" is a stupid counterargument in any "debate." For one, I exist outside of tumblr and I care. For two, I don't care what happens at pride parades. Misgendering nonbinary people (who do not identify as women at all) is not okay, no matter how much people at a parade care about strangers. If you can't actually prove why I'm wrong, your point is null and void.

Also "I'm almost 30, my back hurts, and I just woke up" bitch nobody gives a fuck about your back hurting, it's clearly too early for you to use your brain, and you're a whole grown adult arguing with a child online. That's real mature.

[gay-horrors]

ok long rant incoming-

I’ve had multiple people gatekeeping me because I have ONE relationship with a dude, though my attraction is 99.99% focused on women. If you're 99.999% attracted to women, mathematically speaking you're a lesbian. Most people just round that up to 100%, but there's not a whole lot of difference between the two. Some people in this world get super hung up on who is a valid lesbian or not but you really shouldn't worry about it that much, nobody in the real world cares if you have a gold star- Homoflexible means that you are attracted to your same gender collectively, and are not attracted to your opposite gender collectively, but you may be attracted to a very specific, individual person of the opposite gender. So, it's not the same as bi, because you are only attracted to one collective gender, but a homoflexible / heteroflexible person could identify as bi if they wanted to. For example, a homoflexible woman may be attracted to one or two specific guys, but she is not attracted to "men" as a whole or "men" in general, just those two guys, so she may not feel bisexual. So, most homoflexible people call themselves gay most of the time, and most heteroflexible people call themselves straight most of the time. It's like being gay/straight most of the time, but with an exception or two for specific people. I'm just kinda sick of people saying i'm not a lesbian when clearly i am… too many toxic lesbians out there man.

[theamityelf]

while reading your Koma/Kamuaegi fics I kinda started wondering about the end goal of the pairings you have tagged. Like it might just be me being blind or not grasping it because they’re still wip and only have a few chapters and I’m not used to reading stories the way you write them. or reading slowburns?but I don’t really see to much of a physical attraction between the characters ( to clarify I don’t mean in like a sexual way or whatever) but it only really seems that komeada likes Naegi for his talent or Kamakura’s only interested because of the emotional responses he gets out of it. What I’m trying to ask is are we gonna get that romancey stuff or are you going for a more queer platonic route. Again this might just be me not being able to pick up or notice the signs cuz I’m stupid or whatever, I’m kinda new to your tumblr and your fics so I wasn’t really sure and decided to ask in a ridiculously long ask lol.

This is a tough question. (And no worries about the length of the ask!) I can only give my own interpretation, because I feel like different people can feel or think differently as they read it, and I think the readers' interpretation is also valid. (Also, I get self-conscious when I talk too much about my own writing, because I feel like I come across as arrogant, but I'm getting over that. 😁)

I would say that Kamukura and Nagito aren't in a place where they can have uncomplicated reasons for liking someone, if that makes sense? And you're right to point out that kind of in both cases, the initial pull for them is that they see a good feeling (Nagito would put it differently, but it's functionally similar) and just hurl themselves at it, and the good feeling happens to come from Makoto. That's not to say he's incidental to the whole thing; they don't get good feelings from him for no reason. They get good feelings from him because they've seen who he is and something in them feels soothed, or comforted, or awakened, or whatever else. They just have roundabout ways of expressing or acknowledging those feelings.

In Nagito's case (and I assume, for him, we're talking "A Panel of Hope Experts"), he's not just attracted to Makoto because he's the Ultimate Hope, but also (among other things) because Makoto didn't want Enoshima to die and Nagito desperately needs someone to tell him he doesn't deserve to die. His Ultimate Hope title gives him a level of authority that means Nagito feels justified taking his word for it when he says he deserves to be alive, but he probably wouldn't be wrapping himself so tightly around an Ultimate Hope he didn't fully trust to keep reinforcing that he's worthy of life.

The fact that both Nagito and Makoto are so in need of reassurance means that it's pretty easy to imagine a scenario where they just kind of...maintain each other? Like, Makoto's "You're not trash, and you don't deserve to die," for Nagito's "Nothing that happened was your fault, and you're worthy of being called the Ultimate Hope." In Chapter 7, we see Makoto listening to Nagito's praise and taking comfort in it, and we see Nagito really enjoying being listened to and kind of relied on. And I would say that feeling that existed between them there is fertile land for something nice or something super dangerous.

But I'm getting off-track. Generally, for Nagito, I would say that any genuine attraction he feels for Makoto, he is unwilling or unable to think of it as such, because the moment this stops being service of the Ultimate Hope and starts being, well, kidnapping a guy he likes and trusts because he can see an excuse to do so that fits with his personally-held convictions, then he loses his justification for pursuing what makes him feel good. In Chapter 3, when he thinks about the fact that he finds Makoto "pretty", his next thought is to compare and contrast his beauty to Enoshima's. In Chapters 5 and 6, he becomes very conscious of the wind because he considers it an excuse to touch Makoto's hair. There is a point where he is explicitly waiting for the wind to blow so that he can touch Makoto's hair again. These are manifestations of, as Hajime put it, "interpersonal attraction" that are separate from his "ideological worship".

In Kamukura's case, I would say that he usually just doesn't consider himself subject to feelings in general, let alone attraction to anyone, and as a result it doesn't occur to him to think of things that way unless he's given a ton of evidence. In "Property Rights of the Ultra-Talented", I think he pretty much does consider himself attracted to Naegi, but in "Despair's Throbbing Heart," he's not there yet. And both of these are Yandere Kamukura stories, so that informs things. Not to spoil, but he is (going to be) a different kind of yandere in "Property Rights" than he is in "Despair's Throbbing Heart". And I don't think enough chapters there are up yet for me to go into more detail without spoiling, lol.

I guess TL;DR is: Nagito and Kamukura are not super reliable narrators or expositors of how they feel or what they want. I don't think I can speak to the end goal of the ships, really? I can say that they like each other and that they are not in the best place emotionally to express those feelings in a healthy way. I hope all that made sense, lol.

[pansyboybloom]

I think maybe my tone and language may out sent the wrong message because I agree with you and a lot of the points you are saying. We probably also are just in different spaces online and my use of the term "anti trans masculinity" was wrong and misconstrued.

When I say anti trans masculinity, I don't mean anti trans men. I mean anti masculinity in the context of being trans. Probably not the best term.

My "not immune to terf propaganda" was taken out of context. I'm saying that I've seen a lot of trans people online still propagate the idea of trans women are predatory and ugly for being masculine, and trans men are victims of grooming. Especially with poc trans people. Black trans women are almost immediately clocked as groomers, even by fellow trans women.

I've seen other transmascs fall into a pipeline of "feminine transboys are the only valid ones", with those transboys tell others that masculine features are disgusting. I've seen transmascs hold off from transitioning because they are scared to turn "ugly". Because feminine = attractive and masculine = ugly.

Also I talked about the uwu cunt boy fetish of trans men because it's become incredibly more popular, including in "trans friendly" spaces from what I have seen. I didn't mean to say that trans women aren't fetishized, they most definitely are. Trans people are very much seen as a kink to a lot of people.

While you are fair to call bs on my claim that transfems are ripped apart if they don't immediately transition, I have seen it. Though I definitely did word that statment wrong. I've seen trans women online post videos of them in makeup and wearing wigs, then a video of them out of that, and told in the comments that they "look prettier when passing", "you should only do content while passing", and "be glad you aren't a man anymore".

While we can agree to disagree about transmen experiencing a specific kind of bigotry (oppression wasn't a good word), I was talking about the very small communities of trans women saying that trans men are "betraying them", and how that isn't an excuse to turn around and be misogynistic to them. Even if a transfem is saying something slightly annoying, transmen will rip her apart.

I'm sorry that my anons came off the wrong way. Also not trying to immediately push off the blame to me being uneducated. I try my best to hold up my transfem friends and I do try call out fellow trans guys for being misogynistic.

once again giving the heads up that the schizo word/brain salad is making articulation hard and that my hand tremors are really bad today, so any tone or misspellings or anything is bc of that! just in case

thank you for your reply, i know my own was super long, so i appreciate you taking the time to read and digest that giant wall of words. i hope it didn't come across as aggressive, as that wasn't my intent (i hate to keep giving the same excuse, but I'm schizo spec and have a very hard time articulating myself)

i will agree that we are likely in different areas online-- I've actually made it my new year resolution to spend less (for lack of a better word) time in online spaces and more irl (PFLAG has been wonderful to me <3) so I'm a little behind on the attitudes on tumblr, so to speak, and was coming more from what I've seen in person and in literature (once again recommending whipping girl! it is a great place to start on transfeminist theory, though it is long. if that's something you're interested in, Julia Serano, the author, reads her audiobook and you can likely find it at your local library/on libby)

I apologize that i didn't realize the context of the terf comment! that's on me. I agree that a lot of trans people regurgitate the "trans women are predatory and ugly for being masculine, and trans men are victims of grooming". the amount of trans men i have seen (specifying trans men since that's the space i spend the most time in) who have detransitioned into 'dysphoric females' and buy into the sudden onset dyphoria theory so they can have more of a community with radfems.... shudders. I think this serves as an example of how the unique experiences trans men have can turn into bigotry. not excusing trans men who go full radfem's actions, bc they are hurtful and dangerous, but i see radfems twist a lot of young trans men's fears surrounding men developed by the sex binary and sex essentialism to convince them they are being groomed and have to stay women or will lose their whole community/safe space. i see this a LOT with young adult straight trans men who are so scared of being rejected by their lesbian radfem community that they turn on fellow trans people. as i said in the last ask, the idea that women are 'abandoning' their girlies to go be with the enemy is definitely dangerous when put to the extreme by communities like radfems. i wouldn't call it a systemic transmisandery (or similar word) issue as much as i would a symptom of misogyny, essentalism, & transphobia, but it should be something we as a community talk about, esp since these 'dysphoric females' genuinely hurt the rest of us. especially since, in my experience, these communities tend to be predominately white, so like you said, Black trans women get the brunt of the vileness. the whole community at large has failed Black trans women and fems, and transmisgoynoir is something that must become the forefront of community discussion.

okay back on track lol.

i misunderstood your point on the 'fem tboy is the only valid one' earlier, so sorry. trans men as a community most certainly do that to other trans men, but, just speaking as a gnc trans man, I've noticed that like, it comes less from a fear of masc-ness and instead from a fear of fatness/loss of conventional attractiveness and also this misunderstanding of gnc as a whole. not wanting to start t bc 'i'll get fat/i'll go bald/i'll have to stop wearing skirts' is a fear i see a LOT in pre t gnc trans men circles, especially the young ones, and i think that really shows how we as a community have failed young trans men. i think by showing love for fatness/bears, 'non conventionally attractive' men, be it balding, acne, whatever, and showing how to play with gender outside of fem/masc would solve that problem, or start to. but that's just coming from my perspective as a white, fat, gnc gay guy, so i cant speak for everyone and every trans kid.

and oh my god just adding onto the 'cuntboi' thing-- as a guy who wants phallo, the idea that we're all white thin sexually ambiguous bottoms who enjoy vaginal penetration makes me want to eat my pants. i think that affects all trans people-- femininity is synonymous with submission, sex, and fetish for a lot of people-- it def is frustrating when you see even other trans guys perpetuate it. i think it's less a hate of masculinity and more a fetishizing of femininity and using that fetish to fetishize trans men. it's like how autogynophilia is used all the time to denounce trans women but autoandrophilia is rarely mentioned for us, bc why would we want to be men during sex? we're all bottom-submissive cunt boys, we would never want to imagine and get off on being men during sex!! that's why im not the biggest believer in autoandrophilia being a modern internet problem as much as it could be.

As for your comment on trans women getting ripped apart for not passing: i personally think that is a product of effemimania, which is a term Julia Serano coined in Whipping Girl (i know, i know, this is like the 5th time I've mentioned it) to describe our cultural obsession with “male femininity,” specifically the manner in which such expressions are routinely sensationalized, rigorously policed, and pathologized, instead of any specific anti trans masculinity. Basically, it is spurred on by an obsession with what womanhood looks like and a near fetishistic need to watch trans women practice it the way you want them too to enforce control over them.

once agian, thanks for reaching out. i'm glad to know we could have a conversation, ya know? if you have any other questions, don't hesitate to reach out again

[daughter-of-sapph0]

hi this is a super genuine question - ive never quite understood what bi lesbian means, and ive gotten a bunch of different answers when i try to look it up. im of the firm belief that i dont need to understand someone elses label to respect it, but i still was hoping i could know what it means. i thought bi and lesbian were opposites in a way that couldnt mix (like cis and trans, i guess? two things that mean the total opposite), like, how can someone be lesbian (interested only in women and other gender-identifiers that are sapphic and/or inclusive of sapphic interest) as well as bisexual (interested in genders beyond sapphic-identified)? but i know theres a lot i dont know! again, i respect the label whether or not i get it and i dont NEED to get it bc like, not my business what other people define themselves as and power to them! i was just wondering.

lesbian: anyone who isn't attracted to men

bi: anyone who is attracted to multiple genders

bi lesbians can be attracted to a while variety of genders, such as masc leaning lesbians, non binary people, lesboys, boygirls, girlboys, and literally anyone else. and they're still bisexual and a lesbian at the same time.

also, if someone doesn't want to accept that definition and be believes they're always contradictory... so what? what are you gonna do about it. (not you in particular, anon. I'm saying you as in any person reading this)

like, what are you gonna do if someone uses an identity you don't personally like? what do you gain from it other than being mad? are you gonna tell the homophobic assholes? they already hate all of us, whether someone's a bi lesbian or not. it's pointless and pathetic to get upset over it. (and I know that's not what you're doing, anon. I'm just saying this in general, because a lot of other people get really mad for whatever reason)

getting mad at someone for calling themselves a term you don't think is valid is the same energy as getting mad at someone for enjoying a completely normal TV show you don't like. like, sure. you have every right to not like that show, and you certainly don't have to interact with the fans. but going out of your way to yell at them when all they're doing is existing is pathetic.

sorry for the rant. I know you were just being polite and asking a question. hopefully my explanation made sense. there are a lot of really lame boring and fun-hating people who love to shit on bi lesbians, and my advice would be to just avoid them.

tldr: just follow these pieces of advice. 1) treat others the way you want to be treated. 2) sometimes people do things you won't always understand right away, and that's okay. 3) you can do whatever you want forever.

[emilykaldwen]

Hi I am struggling with being ace and people's perception of me. Like they literally see me as invalid as a person because I don't have a man nor do I want one. Then I feel like I'm missing out if I don't have a man even as I know it will never work in reality. It's more like the status I want than an actual man. I work and live in a nice apartment so people kind of vibe off that when they find out, it lessens the harshness but I have a single female relative who is moving in with me due to homelessness and now the comments are starting about impoverished spinsters clubbing together, my life is over I'm past it. I don't know how to deal with it, it's really dragging me down to the point I feel if she lives with me its intolerable because people are saying this

Hi Anon! First off, I'm really sorry you're dealing with a bunch of massive assholes cause I'm sitting here going who the fuck says that shit to people? You are totally valid in your identity, and frankly, fuck what anyone else says.

So, my experiences are not reflective of other communities or cultures. You may be in a place that is very entrenched in the Life Script, as I like to call it: Heteronormative monogamous partnerships. (I'm based in the US, and even then, my experience is not universal in this country either)

So here's the thing, and some my take this differently, but I come from the camp of 'My sexuality is no one's business unless it comes up'. 'But Nat', you may say 'you have your identity in your tumblr blog'. Yes, yes I do because this is an appropriate space to state it so I can more easily connect with other people who are like me.

Now, this only works so far as you get older and people are like 'why don't you have a partner? don't you want kids? don't you want to get married? what's wrong with you?'. I run into this a lot as well in childfree circles. The moment I say 'oh, I don't want kids', a lot of people who have kids/want kids suddenly get super defensive, like I'm saying my personal choice means no one should be having kids and they're fools to have children. I think that runs into the similar issues on the ace spectrum where people who are in relationships are like 'do you think you're better than me or something?'

I didn't come to my full Ace conclusion until I was... 32? Before that I had been running on a bisexual/mostly-lesbian leaning outlook on life until I was living on my own and was like 'man, you know what, I should try date' and ended up getting myself a boyfriend. I tried. I tried for six months. I told him up front I wasn't very sexually motivated and it turned out he wasn't either! but man, he was as dull as a fucking rock (very nice though) and we had a lot in common and like, he would have made for a GREAT friend. But I found myself really struggling with not being attracted, not wanting to kiss him, and inside I'm going 'man this would be way better if he were a girl'. So I broke up with him, I told him I was a lesbian, and then once that was done I just... never had the urge to date again. Sometimes I do, but I realize now it's more that I'm trying to seek a platonic companion, someone who is always there to hang out with, that we have a lot in common, etc.

Even the most well meaning and supportive people can say things that are dismissive of being Ace even if they're not trying to be and it's up to YOU, anon, to let it roll off. Because not everyone is trying to drag you down.

But the people who are? Aren't people I think you want to have in your life anyway. These don't sound like friends or supportive people if they keep demeaning you because you have a different life than them. Are these the people you really want approval from for 'status' when it means degrading you for how you're built? Who YOU ARE as a person? The status is not worth denying your sense of self. Let's say you were gay and your friends were pressuring you about being straight. Would you get involved in a straight relationship that made you miserable? No, I don't think so (or at least, I hope not!)

I think it's absolutely lovely to have your aunt moving in with you and the next time someone says something, you just tell them 'That's such a callous and cruel thing to say. I have the room in my home and I love my aunt very much and I'm glad to help her. With today's economy, it works out for the both of us'.

And the next time someone wants to come at you for being ace, you can say 'Wow, I didn't know you spent so much time thinking about my sex life. That's so weird and kind of creepy'.

I find these sort of comments help... put into perspective what people are sounding like.

But honestly, fuck these people. They are not worth your time, and you are worth so much more than them.

[cosmicjoke]

what was that anon talking abt about how eruri shippers are white supremacists or the ship is tied into white supremacy? I dont like the ship either but I've never seen that (im not saying it doesnt exist or that I dont believe them at all, I'm just curious). Can you please elaborate if you know what they were referring to? /genq

On a different subject- just some constructive criticism, your response to that anon left a really bad taste in my mouth because you made your dislike of a random ship about how the Evil Gays are trying to "advance their agenda" through gay shipping...I get what youre trying to say but that is a REALLY loaded phrase in relation to gay issues, as were several other phrases you used, for example, saying gay shippers are delusional, biased, and self centered for projecting their sexualities onto characters. I also hate when ppl misunderstand characters canon relationships and try to pretend their fanon ships are supported by canon. I also hate eruri bc personally I just do not like the ship. But blaming gay people for it is more than a little fucked up lol like you could just say you hate eruri without dragging all gay people into it and making this statement about how the gays are evil for experiencing fandom in a way that you dont like. ESPECIALLY since straight people never have to worry about representation, while a lot of queer ppl "project" their sexualities onto canon characters due to a LACK of that representation. I'm sorry but someone saying "I think Levi is gay" LITERALLY does not hurt you at all, while it might be extremely validating and beneficial to somebody else. If you want to make posts critically analyzing AoT and discussing aspects of the fandom you don't like, you also have to analyze your own biases and how they might affect your posting.

I don't know what they're referring to, as I said. I've never seen any "white supremacy" in the eruri fandom. People love to throw that term around. They love to see racism everywhere.

Look, I'm going to get blunt here, because this is basically the second time in as many weeks that I've been criticized for using general language when referring to a general group, and accused of targeting a specific group. That's an assumption on your part because you're looking to be offended.

When I say "they" and "them", I'm talking about shippers IN GENERAL. ANY SHIP. Not just "gay" shippers or "gay" ships. And I'm not talking about shippers as a whole, but the ones who attack others for not accepting their ship as canon. And when I say people are projecting themselves onto these characters, again, I'm referring to people in general who do this. Whether that's their sexual orientation, or gender identity, or whatever. People project all the time, and then want to force their view of these characters, super-imposed with their own, personal traits, down everyone else' throats. I'm talking specifically about the group of fans who attack everyone and anyone who doesn't accept their headcanon version of these characters as canon. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You do.

I never blamed gay people for anything, ffs. I never said gay people are "evil". What's "fucked up" is you putting words in my mouth that I never said and then accusing me of being homophobic based on these made up words. I never said people calling Levi gay is hurting me, either. I said focusing on his sexuality and making his sexuality the most essential aspect of his person when discussing his character is distracting and potentially leads to bad interpretation because it literally has no bearing ON his character. His sexual orientation is irrelevant to who he is. People who make their entire identity about who they want to have sex with or who they're attracted to will often project that onto fictional characters, and then get mad at anyone who doesn't do the same. You're doing it right now. And when said characters sexuality has nothing to do with who they are as a character, doing this is harmful to ones ability TO UNDERSTAND said character.

I'm not biased toward gay people. Again, that's all you making assumptions because you want to be offended.

And I don't hate eruri. How hard is it for you to read? I've stated multiple times, in multiple different ways, that I've both written and read countless eruri fics. Some of my favorite AoT fics are eruri and it's the ship I primarily engage with when reading AoT fic. But I guess you just missed that little detail. Convenient for you, since it doesn't support your desire to see me as some homophobic bigot who's insensitive to the gays.

But whatever, I guess.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hii! ♥️ Could I have a matchup for AoT, BSD, & Demon Slayer? Thank you!

Rion (They/Them). I’m a demiromantic omni with a nonbinary & male lean! — (So preferably neu/masc unless you feel like one character that happens to be fem really fits!) — I am polyamorous but it’s not necessary for a relationship. My sexual attraction to others fluctuates in severity. I am an ENTP 1w2 Virgo. I have a naturally red shaggy mullet that I usually put into a ponytail. I’m 5’1.5” / 156cm & midsized with thick thighs. I have freckles spaced out across my body. My eyes are grey-blue-green hazel. I have a multitude of scars on my arms & legs.

I’m generally quiet person unless with friends. I laugh like a hyena. I can come across as intimidating and apathetic to people who don’t know me. I’m very open minded. I can be very stubborn & determined. I can be too independent to the point where I begin isolating. I have a dry & sarcastic sense of humour - I’m often called a smartass. I would do anything for the people close to me but I’m quick to tell someone off if they’re unnecessarily disrespectful. I struggle with showing affection & letting my guard down. I easily upset more sensitive people even though I don’t mean to 😭. I used to be pretty cruel & manipulative in my younger years which hurt a lot of people. I’ve done my best to make amends and grow as a person.

I love to dance, draw, listen to music, and organise. My favourite colour is gold, my favourite animals are snakes & owls, and my favourite food is chicken lo mein. I love learning about psychology, law, & genetics. I have a tendency for morbid interests. I struggle with sensory issues & emotional empathy.

I’d prefer older/non-minor characters, please! ^^

Hi Rion! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Attack on Titan, I match you with...

Levi loves that you're quiet! Please, he already has to deal with everyone in the 104th (as well as Hange) so being around someone who's mostly quiet is such a relief.

People often can't believe you two are a couple. Neither of you are great at showing affection so it takes a while before they realize you two are together.

You can help each other out with emotional empathy. You might pick up on things Levi misses and Levi's also slowly getting better at understanding people.

Levi's not a super sensitive person so nothing you say will really offed him.

Understands your interest in more morbid things. It's no so much that he likes that stuff as well but he's surrounded by that sort of thing a lot so he won't be weirded out by your interests.

Levi appreciates that you are trying to become a better person. He's got a pretty shady past so he knows how hard it can be to change yourself . He's proud of the effort you've put in.

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Kunikida is another one who won't really get offended by anything you say. If he thinks you make a valid point (whether you intend it that way or not) he'll make a note in his book.

Like Levi, Kunikida's not great at showing his emotions. But please never doubt that he cares about you. If he ever notices that you're questioning his affection, he'll take you out to your favourite restaurant and treating you to your favourite meal.

One he other hand, Kunikida will never doubt that you care about him. He's confident that you wouldn't be with him if you didn't care about him.

Doesn't really get your interest in morbid things. But he won't make fun of you or think you're strange for having those interests. He appreciates that everyone has their own interests.

Kunikida loves that you're more on the quiet side. He already deals with Dazai, Atsushi, and the rest of the Armed Detective Agency all day. He appreciates the peace and quiet when you're around.

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Rengoku is the extrovert to your more introverted nature. He's emotionally connected so he can help you out with showing your emotions more.

Will probably just laugh off anything you say that most people would be offended by. He's confident in himself so nothing you say will really affect him.

Super affectionate. No one doubts that you two are together even though sometimes people ask you whether you're aware you're in a relationship since you don't publicly reciprocate his affection.

Whenever people ask that, Rengoku will always defend you. He knows you care about him and he won't let anyone talk to you that way.

Likes running his fingers over your scars (as long as your comfortable with that). He finds it relaxing and it's his way of showing that he loves everything about you.