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"Meet ProDentim: The Game-Changer for Your Oral Health"
Introduction
First and foremost, it is worthy of note that the market of dental care is actively developing. Until recently people have used traditional goods such as toothpaste and mouthwash hoping for perfect dental hygiene. However, this is not the case, as even when people usually brush and rinse their teeth in the most appropriate ways possible, dental problems always seem to find a way of manifesting themselves. The truth is emerging: the status of dental health depends on the presence of certain bacteria in your oral cavity. Say hello to the latest innovative solution called ProDentim made to revolutionize your oral health by promoting the health of your mouth’s myriad organisms.
The Science Behind ProDentim
Society has in the recent past gained a deeper understanding of the oral microbiome; this is regarded as the bacterial microflora that resides in our mouth. I say these microorganisms are not just hitchhikers but they are participants and contributors to the health of our teeth and gums. Traditionally probiotics were used for gut health only but now there is evidence that these are good for oral health. Taking advantage of this discovery, ProDentim presents a powerful combination of 3. Five billion probiotics, the finest types that can be used to replace the good bacteria in your mouth. This is something more than an addition; this is an effective method proven by science to maintain and improve the conditions of the oral ecosystem.
You can get the prodentim here
Why Common Dental Products Might Be Harming Your Teeth
Traditional oral hygiene products, despite their good intentions, are loaded with compounds that are destructive to your oral micro cosmetic environment. As we have seen, Fluoride, though it helps in preventing cavities, also has the ability to throw off the balance of the beneficial bacteria in our body. Also, the alcoholic mouth rinses are damaging to the mouth, eliminating all types of organisms, useful as well as dangerous ones. This uncontrolled sloughing exposes your mouth to pathogens and removes the barrier your oral microflora otherwise affords. The irony is stark: all the efforts that we are making to protect the dentition may actually be shooting the process more harm. Enter ProDentim as the safer and more efficient option that lets you clean your mouth without putting at risk your mouth’s friendly bacteria.
The Unique Composition of ProDentim
Some factors that set it apart from the other teeth and gum health boosting products include; The formulation of ProDentim is unique and it has 3. Of all the unique species of probiotic bacteria, it can produce 5 billion live probiotic strains per serving size. Among these, three stand out for their proven efficacy in supporting oral health:Among these, three stand out for their proven efficacy in supporting oral health:
Lactobacillus Paracasei: As is well known in its preventive role of gum diseases, this strain is also useful in keeping the sinuses clear and unblocked, a factor that is often overlooked in dental health.
This powerful probiotic simultaneously regulates the bacterium population within the mouth and strengthens the respiratory system and immunity, benefits other than oral would be impossible without this supplement.
Lactobacillus Reuteri: Essential in lowering inflammation risk, it allows the right conditions within the mouth moist environment and prevents periodontal problems.
These probiotics are provided along with a blend of plant extracts which have been added for their specific effects to the oral health. Inulin was said to assist the development of good bacteria, malic acid from strawberries helps retain teeth whiteness while tricalcium phosphate enhances the firmness of the teeth and peppermint has anti-inflammatory properties.
Real-Life Success Stories
This goes way beyond the mouth; it seems ProDentim has an effect on almost every aspect of the human body. In another sense it does this by maintaining the oral microbial ecology and thus overall health indirectly. Maintenance of healthy gums and teeth has the potential of decreasing general inflammation that is associated with various diseases such as diabetes and heart disease. This kind of an approach towards the health which starts from the mouth makes ProDentim one of the most unique products present in the wellness supplements market.
Comparing ProDentim with Other Oral Health Products
The question, therefore, arises as to why ProDentim is unique in an environment that is, for the most part, flooded with similar brands of oral Probiotics? It is in the formula; this is not the full meaning of the word in furtherance of its registration but a way through which it is formulated. In contrast with other dental goods which may pose various health risks by incorporating toxic chemicals in their formulations, ProDentim is made from all natural ingredients whose functions are compatible with the natural human body. This product is GMO free, contains no gluten and it has no stimulants hence safe for use in each day. Additionally, setting up the product from most other supplements is that it contains probiotics that focus only on the oral health needs of the mouth’s microbiome .
How to Incorporate ProDentim into Your Daily Routine
The use of the ProDentim is quite easy and straightforward as follows. You will find the supplement in chewable form, thus making it easy to incorporate in your regular dosage plan. To get the best of this supplement, chew one ProDentim per day preferably in the morning. Frequency is deemed crucially important since a mouth must always remain a friendly flora for the bacteria that finally yield healthier teeth and gums. When used together with a healthy diet and proper dental care, the beneficial impact of ProDentim would be optimized, with your smile remaining in the best condition.
You can get the prodentim here
Conclusion: Transforming Oral Health with ProDentim
ProDentim is not just a common supplement but it is a step change in how people can look at taking care of their teeth. Due to this, ProDentim is a safe solution to most dental problems since it seeks to improve the overall health of the teeth’s microbiome. For those campaigns which focus on gum health, teeth whitening and overall healthy balance of the oral cavity, ProDentim is the definitive solution here you have been waiting for. Welcome this new era in oral health and feel the difference with ProDentim which uses the science of probiotics.
Disclaimer
This page contains affiliate links, meaning we may earn a commission if you make a purchase through our links, at no extra cost to you.
#health#mental health#healthcare#product#diet#food#stress#wellness#health education#dental health#healthy living#healthyteeth#gums health#healthy#prodentim#sumplement#teeth#holistic health#maitain health
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ahsoka es o mejor voy a llorar
acavo de terminar de ver ahsoka y gua, sumplemente guau, esoy al vorde del llanto no es joda. empese star wars hace alrrdedor de 6 meses y nunca pense qu me afectaria de esta manera. ahsoka fue una serie tan...increible. pense que no m iva a gustar poruqe la rason por la que me metia a star wars en primer momento fu por andor. me gustavan las historias mas 'serias' mas realistas y sovr todo mas sentradas en la politca (soy estudiante de ciensia politica no me jusgen) , n ralidad lo que me detenia de meterm en el universo ra l magia, esa en ralidad fue una de las mayores rasones por las que destste tanto las secuelas. no solo no tenian sentido en su construcsion politica (literal expoltan la republica y se cae, lo que no tiene sentido poruque todo el consepto de una republica es que el poder no esta consentrado) sino qu senti que todo era muy fantaseosa, haci que entenderas mi sorpresa uando empese clone wars y sovre todo rebel y ahsoka que son seres que tiene una cantidad de magia y fantasia exurbetantespero no tenia ningun problema con eso. la rason era siple. era algo explicado. todo lo magico s explicado con conseptos ya previament establesidos y amo eso. capas sea la neurodivergenia (sin duda lo es) pro yo nesesto que las cosas tengan sentdo. nesesito podr saver que algo va a pasar y star wars me a dado eso y mucho mas. es como un gran rompecabesas en el que podes conectar y unir todas las piesas para formar un univrso tan grande e interesante. en fin me fiu mucho por las ramas. la cosa es que ame ahsok. ame podr volver a ver a anakin y a toda a familia de rebels ame gritar alvorde de mi hacinto cada ves que entena una referencia y ame toda esta experienca.
star wars me a cambiado como prsona no se si para mjor o peor. sin duda soy mucho mas insoportable. pero tamben me sento mucho mas llena. es un mundo tan fasinate en el ue me puedo mete y dejarme llevar.
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Quisiera robarte una sonrisa todos los días, un beso a cada mañana, un abrazo en cada tristeza, un pensamiento por cada momento. Sumplemente quisiera poder robarte el aliento.
#leccion#vida#amor#desamor#lavidaesasi#carpediem#cortosdevida#vidaymuerte#pensamientos#reflexion#loveandhate#sadness
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Tantas veces te miré a través de mi nostalgia y no te reconozco.
Siento que no eres el mismo, te deseo como lo eras antes sin ser tan farsante.
Lamento despertar en un mundo en el que no estés "tú" y en el que falte un "nosotros".
Simplemente yo & CinthyaMabelArista
#escritos#notas#frases#citas#pensamientos#amor#escrituras#excen-tricos#tristeza#textos#sumplemente yo#CinthyaMabelArista#febrero2020#melancolia
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Random but I saw a post about self inserts. To bottle it down "why???? (/gen) self-inserting doesn't adds to the narrative???" - which wasn't malicious but damn it rubbed me the wrong way and I annoyed D: 1) Bold assumption I am not a foil to my f/o, thematically relevant to themes and/or overall my addition isn't crucial to what I am making (adding me literally change the whole genre of the source material into slice-of-life-comedy, in a way original cast couldn't be used bc I am methaphorically a clown unlished into a serious buisness meeting and that's why it works DFDFG) 2) Bold assumption narrative concerns me at all in the first place- In my case the goal is romantic feelings, affection and comfort. I cannot use any canon x canon to sumplement this bc I am highly apathetic with low empathy (my autism thing). Not like I feel myself ever represented by canon characters in *anything* anyway :| ALSO I've been also involuntarily socialy isolated from ppl for over 10 years (not going to end anytime soon either), the only ppl I have around is my neglectful mom and cat. And that's it. I live in a forest in the middle of nowhere. Not even neighbours. Our car broken down some time ago. Only mail gets here. One might only imagine how isolation and routine so extreme can fuck up a human, an extremely social being with social needs. I'm literally trying to keep myself sane here, narrative be damned- X'D 3) Also bold assumption that I like the rest of the cast of [source material], I want them to begone actually DFGF 4) Also I simply prefer to interact that way with media. It's fun to me. The same way I have a friend who hates anything self-inserty and always has to have a full-made protag (= not a fan of RPGs). And that should be all the explanation needed really :v
But sure, (gonna be salty 4 a sec) what a self-insert brings to *THE* narrative- since narrative must be upheld so highly and is (paraphrazing) "already complete with the original cast" :/ Honestly the assumption of ppl's s/is irrelevance here is somehow the most annoying. I've been through some bs alright. And I have some valuable things to say about it. I just don't want to do it by proxy of canon chara :/ And other ppl have complicated, deep inner lives (it feels insulting to imply otherwise ngl) so I assume same goes for others. And some ppl don't care at all bc they're just powerful and vibin' like that B) DFDF
(a me: @nekociapek / @ladynyat)
WHAT THE -
WHY would someone say that???? That’s ridiculous!! -_- I don’t understand why people post sh!t like that. Even if it’s not really malicious, it’s still kinda negative and they can just...not say anything! There’s PLENTY of stuff in fandom(s) that I don’t understand and/or like, but I don’t waste my time on it. I move on and focus on what I enjoy instead!
Anyway - mini rant over
....ACTUALLY I’M NOT DONE 😡
1. There is literally NO requirement that our interaction with media of any kind MUST add to the narrative! That’s like saying, “A hobby is a waste of time unless you’re making money at it.” (BIG NO) That makes it sound like if we have any interaction with media, it’s our DUTY to add to the narrative.
Heck no it’s not!
2. The ENTIRE point of storytelling is to make us think. To find a piece of ourselves in the narrative. So OF COURSE self-shipping DOES add to the narrative in some way! We’re literally inserting ourselves into the narrative and interacting with it, just like EVERY person does when they listen to/watch/read a story! As soon as we consume the story and expose ourselves to it, we’re interacting with it!
3. It doesn’t matter if it adds to the narrative or not. It doesn’t HAVE to add to the narrative. Self-shipping is literally not for anyone else except yourself. No, we’re not out here writing 100k AUs for some rando to read free (and then sh!t all over because “it’s not true to canon” or whatever 😒 ) Self-shipping is FOR YOU. Not anyone else. So it automatically adds to YOUR interpretation of the narrative!
4. Like you mentioned, canon often misses entire demographics. People aren’t seeing themselves represented in fiction so it’s THAT MUCH MORE IMPORTANT for EVERYONE to explore stories with a vision of themselves in mind in order to spread awareness and educate people.
I can’t tell your story. I haven’t lived your life. Likewise, you can’t tell my story because I’m the only one who has lived it. I know all the details of my story and you know all the details of your story.
Canon isn’t sacred ground that must remained untouched. At one time, it was just an idea, like the myriad of ideas rolling around in your head. Yes, the canon material managed to make it to a larger platform, i.e. Netflix, Hollywood, etc. But that really doesn’t make it any better than anyone else’s ideas. Mainstream media has had a LONG run of spreading narratives that are harmful - i.e. racism, fat shaming, etc. So it’s a damn good thing to NOT add to the narrative in some cases! :P
You have so many excellent points, lovely, and I’m so glad you shared your ask with me!! ♥♥♥ Fiction has provided understanding, acceptance, and some form of escape for centuries. Just one look at the oldest cave paintings in the world and you’ll see early artists painted hunters, LIKE THEMSELVES, into powerful stories of hunting bison and deer.
Fiction provides us sanctuary. It gives us a voice in this big world to say (and hear!) “You are not alone.”
Whether someone wants to interact with stories through self-inserts, original characters, RPGs, you name it - it’s all a celebration of storytelling! ♥
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Vegan (Plant-based) diet
🌐👇: [FR] [IT] [PT]
By definition, a "Vegan diet" 🌱, also called a "Plant-based diet", is a regimen that deliberately includes no animal products and their derivatives, for example animal meat, milk, eggs, etc. 🐖���🐔
First, it is important to understand that when we are talking about a "diet" here, it is not a short-term plan to reach a goal, such as 📏 loosing weight or 💪 gaining muscles.
We refer to "diet" as simply the habitual nourishment of a person. It can follow a nutritional plan with the aim of improving a person's health by consciously choosing what and how much to eat of any given food in an intelligent and consistent way.
Let's not fall into the trap of thinking a vegan diet is healthy by definition. You can have a plant-based regimen where you eat only huge amounts of french fries 🍟 and big dark chocolate bars 🍫... But guess what? That's not healthy at all!
In this article we will discuss how to optimise a vegan diet, and what are the possible benefits of such a regimen in the short and long terms.
INDEX
Who can eat a plant-based diet?
— People with health conditions
— Athletes: amateurs and pros
Why a plant-based diet?
— Heart disease
— Cancer, Diabetes, and more
How can I eat plant-based?
— Nutrients
— Daily intakes
Vegan recipes
More whys...
— Environmental protection
— Human welfare
— Animal welfare
— Individual health
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Who can eat a plant-based diet?
Who?
The short answer: everyone. 🙋♂️🙋♀️
The long answer:
The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, which is the largest organisation of food and nutrition professionals, with more than 100000 credentialed practitioners, made an article stating “These diets [vegetarian and vegan] are appropriate for all stages of the life cycle, including pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, adolescence, older adulthood, and for athletes”. [1]
But of course, as any other diet, to be healthy and adequate it must be correctly planned. 👩⚕️👨⚕️
People with health conditions
An important disclaimer: people with health or genetic conditions must pay special attention to their diet, since food has a fundamental impact in our health.
A short example: we find carotenoids in carrots, a preformed vitamin A that our bodies convert into a bio-available vitamin A in order to absorb it. But this conversion depends on your body health, like genetics, thyroid, zinc and iron intakes, etc.
So if you have a genetic or health condition causing vitamin A malabsorption, and you don’t eat enough vitamin A, you may start experiencing deficiency symptoms such as “night blindness” (problems distinguishing images in low levels of illumination), or your hand palms may become orangish.
To solve it, the best solution is to consume more foods with vitamin A. It is also a good idea to have the help of an up-to-date professional in the field of nutrition, who will surely be able to help you planning your diet.
The best way to find out if we have deficiencies is to periodically do blood tests, and to pay attention to body signals.
Athletes: amateurs and pros
Athletes need specially designed diets to optimise their performance in the sport they do, professionally or amateurly.
There are many athletes that are vegan. In the link below we see a a list with more than 100 vegan athletes from different sport fields, including football, bodybuilding, snowboarding...
⚽🏋🏂 www.GreatVeganAthletes.com/all-athletes
But what does science tell us about athletes?
The video below, with over 300 combined sources, compares athletic performance among people following an omnivorous diet and those following a vegetarian diet. The conclusion showed no major improvements in the short-term performance, meaning both groups of athletes following well-planned diets had similar results.
youtube
But as the studies showed, and the video reminds at the end (with some beautiful visual and sound effects 🤣)
Doesn’t matter how shred, if you’re dead 🔥 [dramatic emphasis here]
The video is referring to the long-term benefits of a plant-based diet, which we discuss in the next section.
If you are interested, we can give you a personal guidance in understanding the benefits described below, as well as designing your diet:
🍎🍊🥑🌽🍫🥜🥕
www.be100you.com/#nutrition
🍪🥬🍆🥝🥥🍍🍞
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Why a plant-based diet?
Why?
The short answer: long-term health benefits. 💪
The long answer:
The videos below show evidences from articles published throughout decades of researches in medicine. Instead of citing the articles directly, we show you these videos to make your life easier, but you can still find all the articles in videos’ descriptions. We are not sponsored by them in any way.
One of the largest nonprofit healthcare plans in United States, the Kaiser Permanente, published “Nutritional Update for Physicians” (shown in the video below), in which they state “healthy eating may be best achieved with a plant-based diet, defined as a regimen that encourages whole, plant-based foods and discourages meat, dairy, eggs as well as all refined and processed foods”.
youtube
A review of reviews of studies (a big name that simply says it analyzed and condensed information from many different articles) showed that plant-based foods have far more often protective health effects, while animal-based foods have often harmful health effects. The summary of the review is available here:
youtube
Heart disease
A wholefood plant-based diet has even been shown to revert heart disease, literally unclogging arteries. The “wholefood” means it is based on foods that are unprocessed and unrefined, or processed and refined as little as possible. The following videos compare many studies of the mediterranean and vegan diets:
Video 1 here: https://youtu.be/uVGpTLMN6w4
Video 2 below:
youtube
Cancer, Diabetes, and more
Many studies directly link animal products, like meat and cheese, to higer risks of diseases such as coronary heart disease (the number one killer in the world), breast cancer, colorectal cancer, prostate cancer, type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance, and hypertension. A few sources are listed here:
Colon Cancer ▶️ https://youtu.be/KDRazSapYew
Diabetes ▶️ https://youtu.be/A4vqXj-uHxk
Heart Disease ▶️ https://youtu.be/LXigmGZk5FU
Hormones ▶️ https://youtu.be/lKngv7mL48s
Meat ▶️ https://youtu.be/xlNWQ8L7QoA
Cheese ▶️ https://youtu.be/3yvYFjIlOO4
Milk ▶️ https://youtu.be/rxnBDDqXSjk
And studies in the video below state that people eating less animal products (sometimes called “flexitarians”) tend to live longer:
youtube
Do not hesitate to research for yourself in order to better understand all the above claims. Before continuing, we must acknowledge that the above conclusions show many benefits of a vegan diet, but it is not a miraculous cure for everything. They may help many people live healthier and longer, including you, and if you consider it is worth a try we can help you adapt your diet to a plant-based one, just go to our website:
🍎🍊🥑🌽🍫🥜🥕
www.be100you.com/#nutrition
🍪🥬🍆🥝🥥🍍🍞
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How can I eat plant-based?
A vegan diet can be optimised to give you all of the benefits shown above, and others still. Upgrading your diet to a wholefood plant-based one involves changing habits and adapting patterns we had learned in the past.
A lot of people have unconscious eating habits and don't actually thing about what they eat. They might simply abide to community traditions, follow their group behaviour, or give in to social norms.
Chosing to eat healthier is a decision that must be taken consciously, and using the best available sources of knowledge, so we can avoid short and long term problems.
Nutrients
Since our cultures and traditions are sometimes not good in providing us information on how to eat healthy, we must adapt and learn from professionals and trustworthy sources, therefore assuring we will not have problems related to our diet.
There is a list of recommendations for those eating a wholefood plant-based diet available in this link:
📝🌱 nutritionfacts.org/2011/09/12/dr-gregers-2011-optimum-nutrition-recommendations (updated in 2019)
The recommendations goes over some major nutrients:
Vitamin B12: nutritionfacts.org/video/cheapest-source-of-vitamin-b12 The simplest solution: sumplement. This vitamin is made by bacteria, and since our food nowadays is really clean we will not find it in plants. Even animals raised in industrial farms must suplement because they also eat clean food;
Omega 3: nutritionfacts.org/video/should-vegans-take-dha-to-preserve-brain-function Some plants are rich in Omega 3s, specially linseeds (rich in ALA, more of its benefits: nutritionfacts.org/video/just-the-flax-maam). But since ALA conversion to EPA and DHA may be low, tif you experience deficiency you can get supplements (usually from seaweed oil) to increase your intake;
Calcium: nutritionfacts.org/video/plant-vs-cow-calcium-2 There are also plants with high amounts of calcium, such as collards, kale, broccoli raab (rapini), and even parsley. But many other foods also contain good quantities of calcium, such as squashes, broccoli, and green beans;
Protein: nutritionfacts.org/video/do-vegetarians-get-enough-protein It’s really not a problem at all, even if you are a bodybuilder you can still get all your proteins from plants - just choose the right food for you;
Fiber: nutritionfacts.org/video/is-the-fiber-theory-wrong In a wholefood plant-based diet it will be a non-existent problem. You will eat more fiber, and your digestive system will benefit from it - if you are constipated now, you are not alone: https://youtu.be/DhZFoinQpI0
Daily intakes
To help building your new plant-based diet there is also an idea worth a try: it’s called ��Daily Dozen”, which is basically a list containing types of foods (and respective quantities) you should eat in a daily basis.
To check it out, go to nutritionfacts.org/video/dr-gregers-daily-dozen-checklist, or nutritionfacts.org/video/dr-gregers-daily-dozen-checklist-2
Another great tool we recommend using is Cronometer, which helps you calculate not only the intake of macronutrients (carbohydrates, fats, proteins), but also you micronutrients (vitamins and minerals): cronometer.com
We can also help you adapt your diet to a plant-based one, just visit:
🍎🍊🥑🌽🍫🥜🥕
www.be100you.com/#nutrition
🍪🥬🍆🥝🥥🍍🍞
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Vegan recipes
Below are some selected vegan recipes that you may enjoy. If you have suggestions, send us a message and we may include it here.
Sweet dishes
Chocolate Mousse: iaco.me/post/001
Chocolate Cake: iaco.me/post/001
3-min Cookies: iaco.me/go/cookie
Spelt Blueberry Pancakes: plantstrong.com/plant-strong-recipes/top-engine-2-recipes-spelt-blueberry-pancakes
Salty dishes
Lentil Oat Loaf: www.food.com/recipe/really-good-vegetarian-meatloaf-really-33921
Macaroni & Not Cheese: plantstrong.com/plant-strong-recipes/top-engine-2-recipes-macaroni-not-cheese
Sweet Potato Lasagne: plantstrong.com/plant-strong-recipes/top-engine-2-recipes-raise-the-roof-sweet-potato-lasagna
Plant-strong Burgers: plantstrong.com/plant-strong-recipes/top-engine-2-recipes-plant-strong-burgers
We can also find some “ready-to-use” vegan meal plans here:
🥣🍓 veganhealth.org/meal-plans
Vegan diet: more whys...
Going vegan has positive impacts in other life areas. It includes a vastitude of other reasons, which have each one their respective benefits:
Environmental protection
A study[2-4] from 2018 showed that a vegan lifestyle have many environmental benefits. A documentary[5] from 2014 already showed the same. Some informations they stated:
It can reduce an individual's carbon footprint from food by up to 73%;
Global farmland use could be reduced by 75% (an area equivalent to the size of the US, China, Australia and the EU combined);
Converting grass into [meat] is like converting coal to energy. It comes with an immense cost in emissions;
While meat and dairy provide just 18% of calories and 37% of protein, it uses the vast majority (83%) of farmland and produces 60% of agriculture’s greenhouse gas emissions;
The meat and dairy industry uses 33% of earth’s fresh water;
Animal agriculture is responsible for as much as 91% of Amazon destruction;
The water for the production of one hamburger is equivalent to showering for 2 months (3000 liters of water).
The 2014 documentary[5] shows many more environmental impacts, such as water usage and pollution, land usage and pollution, greenhouse gas emissions, land desertification, species extinction, forests destruction: cowspiracy.com
Human welfare
The logic here is simple: every time you move up in the “food chain”, you loose many of the food that was fed to the being below you. That is on of the reasons animal-based foods have a bigger environmental impact, and that is also one of the reasons many people in the planet do not have food to eat: because most food (grains in special) we produce go to feed the animals we will eat later.
In [6], Dr Walt Willett - professor of medicine at Harvard University - says “we could eliminate the worst cases of world hunger today with about 40 million tonnes of food – yet 760 million tonnes is fed to animals on farms every year”.
Animal welfare
Right now, we kill literally more than 150 billion animals per year[7]. To put it into perspective: if we killed one human for every other non-human animal we kill, there would be none (zero) humans left in less than 19 days.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
This 2 hours long documentary shows the reality of the animal-based foods industry: WatchDominion.com
Altough its content is hard to watch for some people, the shown precedures, utensils and machinery are perfectly legal and standards in the industry.
One probably “easier to digest” documentary is: hope-theproject.com/the-film/the-film
Earthlings is another film talking about ethics and speciesism in the way we treat most animals. A free “anniversary edition” is available here: NationEarth.com
Individual health
To finish this article, we cite a few more documentaries talking about the individual health benefits of a plant-based diets. If you are interested, you can go and binge-watch them all:
🙀 WhatTheHealthFilm.com
💪 GameChangersMovie.com
🍴 ForksOverKnives.com
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Sources:
[1] “Position of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics: Vegetarian Diets”, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jand.2016.09.025
[2] www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/veganism-environmental-impact-planet-reduced-plant-based-diet-humans-study-a8378631.html
[3] www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/may/31/avoiding-meat-and-dairy-is-single-biggest-way-to-reduce-your-impact-on-earth
[4] www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/vegan-diet-better-environment
[5] www.cowspiracy.com/facts
[6] www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/what-would-world-look-if-everyone-went-vegan
[7] thevegancalculator.com/animal-slaughter/
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Bagaimana Cik Ila Dari Puchong Untuk Mengatasi Masalah Migrain
Sebelum ini boleh dikatakan setiap hari saya kerap mengambil ubat penahan sakit bagi masalah migrain saya.
Jangan silap sikit dari segi pemakanan ataupun kepanasan dan keterikan cahaya matahari migrain saya akan menyerang dan saya memerlukan ubat penahan sakit untuk menyelesaikan masalah tersebut.
Tapi sekarang dengan pengambilan BIOVCO ini yang saya jadikan sumplement harian dalam tempoh yg singkat iaitu 9 hari sahaja pengambilannya, alhamdullilah kesannya, masalah MIGRAIN saya dapat diatasi dan saya juga tidak perlu risau jika berada dalam cuaca yang panas dan terik.
Terima kasih teramat sangat kepada BIOVCO kerana membantu saya.Saya akan jadikannya supplement harian.
Cik Ila Puchong
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The Carmilla Movie
Air date: October 25, 2017
Length: 1:34:27
We open with static, which disappears to be replaced by Laura against a plain white background.
Laura: Okay! Don’t know how many of you are new, and how many of you have been with us from the start, but I am Laura Hollis. Yes, the Laura Hollis, who recently got famous, or “internet famous”, because my university pals and I vlogged ourselves saving the world.
Brief footage from 3x33, of Dean!Perry opening the Gates of Hell
Laura: See, back in my freshman year, we discovered that our Austrian university was actually being run by an evil dean and her vampire cult. Naturally. They’d been sacrificing girls to this monstrous creature under the campus, and I was next. Really should’ve gone to that safety school. Anyway, the Dean sent ... Carmilla,
Footage from 1x2
Carmilla: I’m your new roommate, sweetheart.
Back to Laura
Laura: A 300-year-old vampire with a checkered past and centuries worth of victims to kidnap me.
We see Laura and Carmilla kissing from season 3
Laura: There was just one small snag with that plan. (back to Laura) Carm and I fell in love. Carm turned her back on the evil dean, and with a little help from our friends: LaF, Perry, Kirsch, Mel, and Danny, we saved the school! And the world. For stopping the apocalypse, Carm earned herself a magical human life. A vampire no more.
Footage of Laura discovering Carmilla’s heartbeat at the end of 3x36
Laura: A chance to start again, and leave the crimes of her past behind. And for us to figure out ... whatever happens next.
New scene. Exterior: An old manor, on a stormy day.
We see Laura, waking up inside the manor, dressed in 19th century clothes, lying on a couch. She gets up.
Laura: Okay ... weird. (looks at her clothing) Old-timey and weird.
Laura notices a mirror and looks into it. She does not see her own reflection, instead, she sees another woman, dressed as she is, copying her moves. A door creaks open, and Laura turns towards it
Laura: Hello? Ghost-lady?
Suddenly, a woman dressed all in black, with a veil over her face, appears behind Laura, and taps her shoulder. Laura runs in fear out the room and down some stairs, looking behind her. At the foot of the stairs, she runs into the same mysterious woman. The woman lifts her veil, reveiling herself to be Carmilla.
Carmilla: You’re wearing my broach.
Laura: Carm!
Carmilla: Did I scare you, my pet?
Laura: You think? Sneaking around, dressed like Lizzie Borden? Wait, why are you dressed like Lizzie Borden?
Carmilla: You mustn’t be afraid
Laura: Why would I be afraid?
Carmilla: We shall die, as lovers may ... (Carmilla kisses Laura) Die together, so that we may live together.
Carmilla’s fangs appear, and she bites Laura, drinking from her, Laura looking terrified
Suddenly the scene changes, and we see Laura waking up from a nightmare, her head on Carmilla’s lap.
Carmilla: Welcome back, creampuff.
Laura (moving up from Carmilla’s lap to lay her head on Carmilla’s hsoulder, we hear screams and chainsaw sounds from a TV offscreen) I think your horror movies are giving me nightmares
Carmilla: Oh, well, life’s rough like that sometimes.
The camera zooms out, giving us a broader view of the living room
Carmilla: Come on! How long does it take to kill one limping teenager? Is this guy on a coffee break? (to Laura) So, what happened? Did you get scooped up by that talking goat again?
Laura: No, I dreamed you were a vampire. (Sitting up) It was very ... blast-from-your-gothic-horror-past. There was this old house, and then you ... well, you were actually kinda scary
Carmilla (concerned): Did I hurt you?
Laura: In a dream. Come on, it was probably a ... subconscious fascination with Victorian murders. Or, uh ... corests.
Carmilla: Mmm! Well, no need to go digging around in the past. We have it much better now.
Laura: No arguments here. (looks at TV) So long, hammer horror! (to Carmilla) Hello, rom-com
They start to kiss, when suddenly a loud scream and chainsaw sounds come from the TV. Carmilla turns off the TV, and they begin kissing, and we fade out to the opening credits
New scene: Another dream sequence, Laura’s running in fear through the same mansion as before. She opens a door and sees Carmilla being placed in the coffin of blood, she closes it and keeps running, opening another door where we see Carmilla covered in blood
Laura wakes up, breathing hard. She’s in bed next to Carm. She kisses Carm’s forehead and gets up. We see her making coffee and pouring it into her Tardis mug. She snaps her fingers to wake herself up and sits down in front of her laptop.
Laura (with exaggerated enunciation): How now, brown cow? How now, brown cow?
She turns on the laptop, and we see her from the POV of her laptop, with a “Laura Hollis” logo in the lower left corner.
Laura: Happy anniversary, faithful viewers! I know! Iknowiknowiknow I’m behind in my posts, but, I would never miss this! Because 5 years ago, today, (copy of the Voice of Silas on screen with headlines “Students Save Austria From Apocalypse” and “Girls Sacrificed to Giant Anglerfish!”) a ragtag bunch of undergraduates stopped the dean of their evil university from unleashing Hell on Earth! Or, mostly stopped. You can’t really blame us for Antarctica. And where are they now, you might ask? Well, let’s check in with a very special 5-year retrospective.
Laura looks off to the side with a dramatic gesture. And then her face turns neutral
Laura (mumbling): And then we will cut to ...
Super cheesy graphics with phrases like “tiny, gay and mighty” and “Hollis Five Year Retrospective”
Back to Laura narrating
Laura: First up is LaFontaine and Perry who, as you’ll recall, transferred to Occult Studies at Berkley and then started LaFerry Industries, where they’ve been revolutionizing life for the supernatural with products such as their Hemo-Soy vegan vampire sumplements ever since. They’ve got this huge meeting with a megacoporation that wants to buy their start-up. I’m so proud! Speaking of super-successful people, you guys remember Danny? My Lit TA, turned stalwart ally, turned repentant vampire? Has turned into ... a vampire rights advocate. And, what retrospective would be complete without a look at how Mel and Kirsch and I leveraged our coverage of the almost-apocalypse into a career in local news? And, if you’re morbidly curious, here are some clilps!
Clip 1, Laura in front of a flower shop, with “Luane Horlis Reporting Live” at the bottom fo the screen
Laura: Today, we explore the fast-paced world of floral arrangements.
Clip 2, Laura on another street, in front of a bakery, with the name “Lauren Horley”
Laura: Cranberry bannock
Clip 3, another street, name displayed as “Laura “The Puff” Hollis”
Laura: Ceramic cephalopod
Back to Laura’s narration
Laura: So, yeah. Not quite achieved Lois Lane-dom. But never fear!
Laura runs off screen, and comes back with a big board with various goals on it
Laura: It is all part of my 5-year plan!
Some of the goals are marked with stars, and others with X’s. Some are sensible goals like “Meet Christiane Amanpour” or “200 hours volunteering in the library”, while others are nerdy, like “Buffy marathon with Carmilla”. Laura looks wistfully at he board for a moment and then pulls herself away
Laura: Yeah, um, after Carm and I took our glorious gap year, it was time to start real life. We moved town to TO, I finished my degree, stuck my foot in the door, now I’m just waiting for my big break! Busting open some huge Woodward-and-Bernstein-style scandal and being moved up to the city desk. Admittedly, I have been waiting a while for that one. But, uh, you know ,that’s what you do in life. You pay your dues. Unless you’re a former vampire with 300 years of sunshine and culinary history to catch up on. So, what has our Carm been up to as a living, breathing, human?
[Scene of Carmilla walking around in broad daylight]
Laura: She’s definitely taking advantage of ye old vampire trust fund.
[Carmilla walking out of a bakery with a pastry]
Laura: Bakery-based gluttony, check.
[Carmilla lying out in a bikini on a patio in the sun]
Laura: Sun-tanning sloth, check.
[Laura in front of a computer, eating a strawberry, Carmilla comes by and takes a bit of the strawberry with a seductive look at Laura]
Laura: I-have-a-pulse-now lust ... well ... actually I can’t complain about that last one [Laura and Carmilla exit scene]
Back to Laura narrating
Laura: Yeah. Unless you count starring in my spooky dreams, it’s been a bit more pastry than purpose lately. But! Today’s retrospective is all about perspective. We are going to get our heroine back on track. But, where to start such a conversation? Where else? [Laura pulls a cake into camera view] With desert!
Carmilla walks in
Carmilla: Mmm ... have you been baking?
Laura: Happy rebirthday! [kisses carmilla several times] It’s, um ... like a ... like a birthday, but for your rebirth. Because, five years ago, you got a life. Not like 90s ‘get a life’, but you know, um, literally.
Carmilla: Hmm, how very Lewis Carol.
[Carmilla turns the webacm off and closes the laptop]
Laura: So ... speaking of five years, I was thinking that we could talk about five years in the other direction. [Carmilla looks faintly exasperated] Cause you’ve been through a lot. Not just Silas, but death. And the French Revolution. So, it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling a little lost
Carmilla: Lost?
Laura: Okay, maybe not lost, but maybe a little ... aimless?
Carmilla: Laura, are you staging an intervention because you think I’m wasting my life?
Laura: No! [Carmilla gives her a look like “really?”] Maybe. It’s just ... you aren’t immortal anymore. And I know that you want to make the most of our lives together, but -
Carmilla: Is there something wrong with those lives being fun?
Laura: No! But I think it’s possible to have fun and ...
Carmilla: And did I go to that supernatural therapist?
Laura: One time. You siad you couldn’t take advice from someone born after the moon landing.
Carmilla: Mm-hmm, and do I pester you because you’d rather spend your days in a news cubicle instead of on a beach in the South of France?
Laura: No, you don’t. It’s just ...
Carmilla: It’s just, you like making plans. And I love that about you. But, I don’t know, it’s my rebirthday, so ... I want to spend it enjoying our lives. Preferably [wipes a bit of chocolate icing on Laura’s lip] somewhere with a patio and an extensive wine selection? [they kiss] And chocolates
They wander off-screen together, tightly embracing, the camera zooms in on the cake; Carmilla runs back on camera to blow out the candles, and then they both leave the scene again.
Several city scenes, a sunset, night time, then back to their home. Carmilla’s in bed already, and Laura puts some moisturizer on her hands. They snuggle together on the bed. Laura falls asleep, and it’s another dream sequence. She’s in bed, and she sees Carmilla crouched at the foot of the bed. In the background is a painting of Carmilla.
Laura: Carm?
Carmilla: Shhh. You’re dreaming.
Laura turns on a lamp, and Carmilla winces, covering her eyes
Laura: Oh. Right.
Carmilla crawls onto the bed towards Laura, in a scene shot to resemble a famous illustration from the original publication of Carmilla
Carmilla: You are mine. You shall be mine. You and I are one, forever.
Laura: Something tells me I’m gonna like this dream.
Carmilla strokes Laura’s face, and then her fangs appear, and she bites Laura. Laura’s eyes snap wide open. She’s back in the real world now, and the real Carmilla is biting her neck.
Laura: Carm! What are you doing?! [pushes Carmilla off her, Carmilla hisses, her fangs exposed] Carm! Hey! Hey! It’s me! It’s me! [snaps her fingers]
Carmilla comes to, and looks horrified
Carmilla: Laura, your neck! Oh, God! [she moves towards Laura, and Laura backs up, still afraid; Carmilla pulls back, looking completely horrified]
Laura: What is going on?
New scene: Back in the living room. Carmilla’s sitting in a chair with some kind of electrodes on her forhead. LaF and Perry are there. LaF is holding some kind of electronic tablet, while Perry has some notes in front of her. Laura is standing watching, with bandaids on Carmilla’s bite mark
Perry: Have you been in close proximity to any vampires or vampire by-products in the past two or three months?
Carmilla: Oh, you mean when a Sumerian goddess turned me again last week? Must’ve slipped my mind.
Perry: I see that sarcasm hasn’t suffered.
Laura: Thanks for taking some time out of your meeting prep to help us.
LaF: For you guys? Anything.
Perry: Of course! We’re probably over-prepared.
LaF: Something’s definitely off with Carm.
LaF’s scanning her with their robot eye, we see various graphs and the like, a light glowing above Carmilla’s chest, and the words “lifeforce: flickering”, among others
Laura: For those of us without a fancy cyborg eye?
LaF: Right. Um, this is Carm [LaF turns their pad around for Laura and Perry to see; it shows an abstract form of a female body, with a glow in the chest] And she’s, well, dead, except ...
Perry: Except, the resurrection spell is still running inside her, making her a living human
LaF: It makes her heart beat, hair grow, and all the other things a regular human body does
Laura: Yeah, like a magic battery
Carmilla: I thought we agreed we wouldn’t call it that.
LaF: My vote’s still with life-force
Carmilla: No, that’s even worse!
Perry: Oh! What about her, um, what about your spark?
LaF: Hmm, it does work pretty much like an ignition
Perry: Spark it is! Spark, spark, spark!
Carmilla: I hope you’re enjoying yourselves.
LaF: Uh ... Carmilla’s spark is ... going out.
Laura: What’s wrong with it?
LaF: It’s producing a sort of electrical discharge that’s making it flicker, and, since it’s what’s keeping her human, when it flickers, she ...
Laura: Vamps out.
Laura sighs and sits down
Carmilla: Okay, so ... how do we get my .... spark to stop flickering?
LaF: We’ll have to run some more tests.
Laura: And in the meantime, Carm just keeps randomly vamping out? What are we supposed to do about that?
Perry pulls out a bunch of garlic. Carmilla sighs.
Montage of scenes, mimicking the ones earlier where Laura was talking about Carmilla’s “aimlessness”, but twisted. First we see Carmilla lying out on the patio, but instead of enjoying the sun, she’s trying to cover up, with a bottle of hemo-soy beside her, then we see her biting a strawberry that Laura was eating, but accidentally biting her hand, then we see her drinking a squirrel’s blood at the same place we saw her getting a pastry before
Then we see their bedroom again. Cloves of garlic in the foreground. Carmilla’s lying on the bed, looking sad.
Laura (applying moisturizer): [Unclear dialogue, something about Mel?] ... Kirsch, of course, is jazzed, like ‘Oh, there’ll be blueberry pie, right? I’m into the bluebs”, and then to top it all off, I get to the fridge, and it’s just ... Carm? You okay?
Carmilla: Sure. Just grappling with an aversion to daylight and cravings for blood.
Laura: Hey, LaF is going to figure something out.
Carmilla: I know. It’s just ... this was supposed to be done. You know? The bloodlust, the self-loathing. The sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom.
Laura: That one might be overkill. You’ve never had a problem controlling yourself before. [Carmilla nods] Unless you count dream-Carm chasing me through discount Transylvania all “you are mine, you shall be mine”
Carmilla: Wait ... what did you just say?
Laura: “You are mine, you shall be mine, you and I are one forever”
Carmilla gets up and runs into the living room, searching through the bookshelves
Laura: Carm, what is going on? It was just some silly Dracu-poetry my brain coughed up for atmosphere [Carmilla opens up a chest] What are you looking for? [Carmilla takes out a book from the chest, looking through it, and finding a photograph, which she shows Laura. It’s the mansion from her dreams] That house!
Carmilla: This is where Elle and I lived. Is this the manor in your dreams?
New scene; Laura, Carmilla, Mel, Kirsch, LaF, and Perry are all in a park
Perry: So, this place Laura’s been dreaming about, the manor, it’s real?
Carmilla: Not just the manor.
Laura: Carm thinks that, from what I’m describing, the house, the clothes, what she says, that I’m dreaming things that really happened. [Perry and LaF look thoughtful] .... A hundred and fifty years ago [Mel and Kirsch look thoughtful] ... to Elle.
Perry, LaF, and Mel all look at Laura shocked; Kirsch has no reaction, he notices everyone else’s reaction
Kirsch: Am I supposed to know who Elle is?
LaF: Elle? The girl Carm turned on her mother and stopped being evil for?
Kirsch: That wasn’t Laura?
Perry: Carmilla’s epic first love?
Kirsch: Also not Laura?
Laura: Remember first year at Silas, those weird dreams I was having?
Kirsch: Only those weren’t dreams! They were warnings from Carm’s ... [look of realization]
Mel: So, you think the dreams are from Elle? Didn’t she, like, sparkle off into floaty white nothingness after Carmilla killed the giant anglerfish god? ... How is that a sentence I ended up saying?
Laura: Only one way to find out. We go back to the scene of the crime.
LaF: If it’s ghosts, we can test out the new spectrometer.
The conversation fades out, as Carmilla starts staring at Laura’s neck, the sound of pumping blood; Laura turns to Carmilla
Laura: Carm?
Carmilla shakes her attention off Laura’s neck.
Carmilla: Yeah ... I’m gonna go crack another bottle of hemo-soy
Carmilla gets up. Laura, Mel, and Kirsch look at each other. Laura gets up and follows Carmilla
Laura: Hey. Sorry about the whole “scene of the crime” thing. I know what happened between you and Elle was complicated, and I shouldn’t’ve said that.
Carmilla: No. Scene of the crime is exactly what it is. You saw those dreams. You know I ... hurt her. Hurt you.
Laura: You didn’t mean to. Maybe there’s a silver lining in all this. If this is Elle trying to warn us about something, maybe you can ... help her?
Carmilla: I’m done being a vampire. I’m done dredging up the past. I’m done with ... well-meaning therapists saying “close your eyes and think of those you’ve wronged, while I light up this funky incense”, and ...
Laura: That’s right. We have plans. And goals. And a color-coated chart [Carmilla smiles, laughing softly] None of which features some mystery from your past stealing the life that you earned. So, we are going to figure out who or what is doing this, and then we are going to -
Carmilla (looking way too cheerful): Gruesomely murder them?
Laura: Stop them. (Carm rolls her eyes) We’re going back to Styria!
Transition scene; cheesy image of a world map, showing their flight, with voiceovers
Kirsch: Where are we going?!
Laura: Styria!
Kirsch: Why are we going?
Laura: To stop Carm from re-vamping!
Kirsch: Okay, but really, why go back to the bad place with the monsters?
Laura: Because of Elle’s manor? It’s in my dream, it’s all connected? And it’s our only lead!
Montage of various foods
Kirsch: Oooh, schnitzel ...
New scene; all six walking dramatically along a path, looking determined, then the music stops, and they’re all looking exhausted
Kirsch: How much further till we get to this place?
Carmilla: It’s just ...
Laura (dropping her bag): Right around the corner
Laura and Carmilla walk towards the manor, ahead of the rest
Kirsch: Oh, yeah, it’s cool, Laura! I got your bag! Yeah.
Laura: You don’t have to do this if you don’t want. You can just stay here if it’s too much.
Carmilla: Hmm. And leave you alone to explore the mystery mansion? Hard pass.
Laura and Carmilla walk up to the entrance. We see a brief glimpse of someone in an upstairs window
Laura and Carmilla enter the manor; we see them entering from inside the building; on the wall in the foreground is a portrait of the same woman Laura saw in the mirror in her dream
Laura (entering the manor with Carmilla): Hello?
They look at each other, and continue in. Carmilla’s attention is drawn to the portrait for a long moment.
Kirsch: Hello? Knock-knock? Elle’s manor’s pretty cool!
Mel: I guess. If you dig the Harenhal vibe. Hello? Anybody?
LaF: I’m calling it. This place is totally haunted.
Perry: You don’t know that. Maybe it’s just ... creaky. It’s a lovely example of a 19th century schloss.
Kirsch: Heh, schloss.
Laura: This is exactly like my dream. Beautiful. I mean, abandoned and dusty, but beautiful.
Perry (putting rubber gloves on): Well, we can deal with the dust.
Mel: Tell me you did not bring an entire bag of cleaning supplies?
Perry: Of course I did! Do you know what dust does to expensive equipment?
LaF: We have EMF detectors, geiger counters, various spectrometers
Mel: You didn’t think maybe we’d need some actual weapons?
LaF: Well, knowledge is really the best -
Mel (pulling out a crossbow): I’m pretty sure weapons are the best weapon. Look at this princess. Carbon-fiber lens, 80-pound drawweight, capable of shooting 160 feet per second. I call her, Gertrude.
Perry: How excessive
Mel: Excessive? Do you remember senior year? You were possessed by Carmilla’s mom, the evil god who forced the entire student body, including me, to dig a pit to the literal gates of hell, or how about that time LaFontaine got brain-sucked by the giant anglerfish monster? Or how about that time that the evil baron tried to execute Carmilla? Or that time that Laura sorta, kinda, I don’t know, died?
Kirsch: We do have a lot of back-story.
Sounds of thunder and strange crashing noises, spooking everyone
Perry: Fine, fine, haunted.
Mel (to Laura and Carmilla): Tell me at least you two packed some heat?
Carmilla heads over to look at the portrait in the hall
Laura: Uh, I know krav maga. I am a weapon. I brought walkie-talkies and flashlights for everyone. There’s no cell service out here, they’re gonna come in handy!
Carmilla’s approaching the portrait slowly
Mel (off screen): How ‘bout you, Jughead? [sound of a beer can opening] Oh, Vincent van Bro brought beer.
Mel looks over at Carmilla and turns to Laura
Mel: Is that her?
Laura: Yeah. [long pause] Let’s search this place!
Mel: For a ... girl who died 150 years ago?
LaF: Better not keep her waiting.
We see a sequence of search scenes, first Mel and Kirsch looking in a room with flashlights, then Perry and LaF with flashlights and EMF detectors, then we see Laura and Carmilla entering a room. Laura sees the portrait of Carmilla that was in the background of one of her dreams. The portrait is lying on the floor, slashed. Laura picks it up.
Laura: Is that you?
Carmilla: It was.
We switch to LaF and Perry
Perry: We should be safe to push the meeting to next week, don’t you think?
LaF: Do we have to talk about this right now?
Perry: Single most important meeting of our professional careers?
LaF: Perr, we are searching a haunted castle for ghosts. This is literally the reason we started the company.
Perry: But if we had more resources, then -
LaF: Hold on, I think I’ve got a hit! Nah, it’s gone now.
Perry: Well, now, see, as part of Intrigue, we’d have all the equipment, we could scan the house in like two seconds.
LaF: Yeah, I get it. But we’re not selling out right this second, so can we focus on the task at hand? Let’s check out the next room.
They leave the room. The door closes, revealing a ghost in 19th century clothing.
We’re back to Laura and Carmilla
Laura: Looking forward to seeing her? Elle, I mean? Wouldn’t blame you if you were
Carmilla: Honestly, I’d rather not. I mean, what am I supposed to say? “Sorry I lied to you and sacrificed you to a giant fish-monster”? I doubt there’s a hallmark card.
Laura (walks over to Carm, and strokes her hair): It wasn’t all your fault.
We switch back to Mel and Kirsch. Something moves in the foreground, and Kirsch spins around to look at it, but it’s gone before a clear sight can be made. Mel raises her crossbow as they both back up. Kirsch backs up into another ghost, and starts screaming.
We get back to Laura and Carmilla. Laura’s walkie-talkie beeps.
Laura: Told her these were gonna come in handy
Kirsch (over walkie-talkie): Ghosts! The schloss is full of ghosts!
Laura and Carmilla look at each other. And suddenly another ghost shows up. They start running.
Laura: Ghosts! Ghosts! Everyone, come on!
LaF: Haunted house! Totally called it!
Perry: Run, weirdo!
Everyone’s running towards the front door. Laura and Carmilla reach it first, but the door won’t open. It’s completely stuck.
Laura: It’s stuck!
The ghosts continue to approach them. They run to another room, running into another locked door, the ghosts surrounding them. They turn to face the ghosts, who’ve stopped right in front of them.
Laura: Um ... hi. I’m Laura. These are my friends. And we’d be thrilled if you’d abandon your plans to gruesomely murder us.
One of the ghosts, Emily, speaks
Emily: Hello, Miss Karnstein.
Carmilla (confused): Hello? Wait ... I know you. How do I know you?
Emily (turning to another ghost, Charlotte): Oh, dear. Well, this is awkward. We imagined you’d recall ...
Charlotte: Killing us. I’m Charlotte. This is my sister Emily.
Laura: Carmilla killed you?
Emily: Oh, no, not quite, exactly. Her mother did the actual deed.
Laura: You’re the girls who were sacrificed to the Deep One.
Lightning. We pan over the various ghosts.
Charlotte; Yes. We are the victims of Carmilla Karnstein.
Emily: And we’d like to invite you to a dinner.
New scene. Dinner table, a roast pig in the center of the table. Emily and Charlotte are at the ends of the table. One side are Carmilla, Laura, and Kirsch, with Perry, LaF, and Mel on the other. Kirsch is eagerly digging in, while the others seem more suspicious
Emily: It’s wonderful that you’ve all been able to join us. And, naturally, we’re so glad you’ve arrived in time.
Charlotte: We’ve been waiting for weeks.
Laura: For us?
Emily: For Miss Karnstein. We hoped once she realized what had happened she’d return
Mel: Hold up. Did you just confess to flipping the vampire switch on our girl Carm here?
Emily: Oh! Goodness, no, we couldn’t have. What little research we have been able to perform suggests it was Miss Karnstein’s life-force that pulled us into the physical world. Until a few weeks ago, we were trapped in a nightmare land, doomed to endlessly repeat our greatest regrets.
LaF: This nightmare afterlife, is it more of a Jungian unconscious, or a “Through the Looking Glass” style situation?
Perry: Stop that! It’s not polite to pry into other people’s unspeakable suffering.
Laura: Why would you be connected to Carmilla’s human life?
Emily: Ah, w-we think it ... might be ... because ... it was Miss Karnstein who ...
Charlotte: She’s the reason we died
Carmilla looks uncomfortable.
Emily: Yes. The family here offered my sister and I a place to lodge
Charlotte: They neglected to mention the vampire cult
Mel: Same thing happened with my college acceptance letter
Laura: Y-you said you knew the family. Does that mean you knew Elle?
Both Emily and Charlotte look confused
Carmilla: Miss Sheridan.
Emily: Ah, yes. We knew her.
Laura: But she isn’t here with you?
Charlotte: No. She isn’t with us.
Emily: But, we’re thrilled that you are!
Carmilla (sighs and puts down her wine glass): Okay, that’s it. What’s with the Stepford act? I got you and your sister killed
Emily: Yes, but you’re here now. And according to this spell book, we need you, Carmilla, here to perform the ritual that will let us move on.
Perry: I don’t ... suppose I could take a crack at deciphering the book?
Emily: Oh, please, do. I’ve deciphered what I can, but I’m hardly an adept. Ah, from what I can tell, if we move on, your vampire symptoms will go away. I assume that’s why you’ve come? Haven’t you? Because otherwise you’d be trapped here with us forever?
New scene: The gang is in a bedroom, talking and getting ready for bed.
Mel: So ... they’re obviously evil.
Kirsch: Nah, I though they were kinda nice
Carmilla: More importantly, is this ritual of theirs even gonna fix me?
Perry (reading the spellbook): Well, it looks promising.
Carmilla: Promising? Are you telling me you were possessed by an evil goddess for, like, six months -
Perry: Eight. It was eight months.
Carmilla: And you can’t get more specific than that?
Perry: The whole book is written in code. But, if the family’s notes are correct, it seems as though it’s two birds, one stone. The ghosts move on, Carmilla stays human.
LaFontaine: That makes sense. When I scanned them, the energy from your spark was flowing straight to them.
Mel: Look, for all we know, they lured us in and trapped us here. Are we seriously gonna trust them?
Laura: What happened to them wasn’t their fault. They were girls just like you or me with their whole lives ahead of them. If this ritual helps them and keeps Carm human, we have to try it.
Later that night. Laura and Carmilla are lying in bed. Perry’s working on a laptop, sitting on the floor by the couch LaF is scanning the room with an EMF detector
Kirsch: Sweet! Is that a Gameboy?
LaF: Even better. It’s an EMF alarm. It might be nice to get a heads-up if any ghosts come calling.
LaF puts the EMF detector up on a mantle and sits down on the couch.
LaF: Psst, Perr, about before ...
Perry: Oh, I’m glad we postponed the meeting.
LaF: You are?
Perry: With all the data we’ve collected here? We’re in a much stronger bargaining position.
LaF: Really, Perr? I know this is the big leagues, but why are you so pumped to sell our company?
Perry: Do you even know what I do all day, while you’re off playing in your little lab? [LaF looks upset] I balance our budgets. Get our products approved. Handle the reckless endangerment lawsuits. I mean, at Intrigue there’d be a legal ... [Carmilla clears her throat, Perry reduces her volume] ... there’d be a legal department, LaF
LaF: I see. And, uh, by “playing” you mean the research that makes our company possible?
Perry: Oh, that is not fair, you -
LaF: You know what? I am too tired to deal with this right now. [LaF lies down on the couch, pulling a blanket overthemself. Perry goes back to her computer]
New scene. Kirsch is making a sandwich, and Mel approaches him, startling him, causing him to drop his sandwich.
Kirsch: On, man, we killed my sandwich. [Kirsch picks up the sandwich] Tutti abal tutti. [to Mel] Five-second rule. [bites into sandwich]
Mel: Have we, or have we not, had multiple conversations about not wandering away in the haunted house?
Kirsch: I know. It’s just the ghost ladies are so nice. And you know how I feel about leftovers.
Mel: Kirsch, if your stomach gets me dragged into some kind of black girl dies first bullshit, I am gonna come back from the dead and haunt your bar fridge.
They hear a noise coming from another room, and go to check it out
Charlotte: They aren’t going to go along with it.
Emily: They’ll get caught up in the surprise. You’ll see. It will all come out exactly as we planned.
Charlotte: Why aren’t we just telling them?
Kirsch’s stomach growls, alerting Emily and Charlotte to their presence. Kirsch and Mel hurry off to hide, while Emily and Charlotte leave the room, locking it behind them.
Back to the bedroom, Laura and Carmilla are asleep. Laura has another dream. Laura notices the nightgown from before
Laura: Ugh, this again? Really?
She hears Mattie from another room
Mattie: You would do well, little sister, to finish your task here. We live for the eternal moment, chérie. We are power.
There’s further talking but it’s indistinct, Laura notices some creepy paintings as she walks through a hall
Mattie: Faîtes attention, chérie. You would do well, little sister, to finish your task here without further delay.
Laura peeks into a room and sees Carmilla dressed in all black, holding a book.
Laura: Did you ever think that our part in this, that what we do might be ... unforgivable?
Mattie: You must stop reading the romantics! [takes book away from her] We live for the eternal moment, chérie! We are power, pleasure [Carmilla walks away from Laura’s sight, while Mattie walks into her sight] and are only accountable for our desires. And maman, who is growing impatient. Faîtes attention, chérie. Votre mère vous met en garde contre l’assassin.
Mattie walks towards the door. Laura runs off. Carmilla and Mattie leave the room.
Laura enters the room Mattie and Carmilla just left. She sees a broach on a plain table.
Carmilla (faint voiceover): You’re wearing the broach
There’s a sound of girls laughing, and then a thunderclap, and a ring of paper dolls appears, surrounding the broach. Laura looks at the paper dolls. Suddenly the laughing changes to screams
Woman: No! I don’t want to go back!
The dolls start to burn and are replaced by a ring of ash in seconds. Carmilla’s gloved hand touches Laura, and suddenly she wakes up in the real world.
Carmilla: Hey, you all right?
Laura: Another nightmare. You and Mattie were talking and she said something about an assassin, and then these paper dolls disintegrated, and I don’t know. It seemed more coherent when it was happening.
Carmilla: You’re still havin the dreams? But we’re here, I mean, why would you still be having them, unless ...
Mel walks in
Mel: Something else is going on.
Carmilla: Knocking, still not a thing.
Mel: The Hunger wanted a midnight snack and while he was getting it, we caught our ghostesses talking about some kind of surprise we aren’t gonna like and sneaking into a locked room. So they’re hiding something. Or someone.
Daytime. Laura, Carmilla, Mel, and Kirsch confronting Emily and Charlotte.
Emily: Hiding something? How could we possibly -
Mel: What’s behind the door?
Charlotte: Why should that concern you?
Mel: Maybe I don’t like surprises.
Charlotte: You look like a woman who can cope. [Mel and Charlotte share a long stare]
Laura: This could all be easily resolved by just showing us what’s behind door number one.
Emily: Of course. If you insist, but ... you’ll ruin the surprise.
Carmilla: We’ll risk it. [Emily turns to unlock and open the door] We’d kind of like to know if you’re planning to ... [They walk into the room and see all kinds of party preparation] ... to throw a party?
Laura’s looking around excited, while Carmilla looks confused
Emily: To thank you for helping us.
Carmilla: You’re throwing a party?
Charlotte: The ritual can’t be performed until the Ash Moon, and Emily always loved to dress up.
Mel (to Charlotte): I can’t imagine you’re a slouch in that department.
Carmilla: You can’t be serious
Laura (looking at a bottle of champagne): I think it’s sweet. It’s like a pre-ritual going-away party, before they go away. Permanently.
Emily: Exactly! And, we would be honored if you would attend.
Laura: Yeah, of course! [she notices a closet with ball gowns] Oh, my gosh! [she takes out a gown] Ball gowns? Are we gonna get our strictly ballroom on? Aaa! Best haunting ever! [she gives Carmilla a quick peck on the cheek and runs out excitedly]
Exterior of mansion
Carmilla (off camera): How’s it going in there?
Interior. Carmilla’s sitting on a couch already in a dress while Laura’s struggling to get her dress on behind a dressing screen.
Laura: BBC period dramas do not spend enough time on how complicated these clothes are. I swear, I’ve been in here for 40 minutes. Hey, thanks for going along with this, by the way.
Carmilla: Well, what’s to go along with? I like a canape as much as the next girl.
Laura: Still, it can’t be fun hanging out with you ....
Carmilla: Former victims?
Laura: No matter how nice they are.
Carmilla: Hmm, yeah, well, I’d appreciate it if they took it down a notch.
Laura: You’d prefer a roaring rampage of revenge?
Carmilla: Well, all this forgiveness is making me twitchy.
Laura (putting a choker on around her neck) You think maybe that’s cause deep down you still don’t think you can be forgiven?
Carmilla: I see we’ve reached the amateur psychoanalysis round. See, this is why I blew off that therapist. You know, some things are just too much to talk about in an office full of crystal dolphins.
Laura: I think maybe that’s the point of the talking
Carmilla: Yeah, except it wasn’t just talking, there was this manifes-
Laura steps out from behind the dressing screen. Carmilla is completely dumbfounded by how Laura looks.
Laura: You aren’t saying anything. Did I put it on wrong? I look ridiculous. I do. I look ridiculous, I -
Carmilla gets up from the couch and approaches Laura. They kiss. They separate and Carmilla takes a long look at Laura.
Carmilla: Forty minutes to get you into that, hunh? Bet I could get you out of it faster.
They kiss again. Carmilla turns Laura around, her hand around her waist, kissing her collar
Laura: We’re already gonna be late for the ball
Carmilla: So let us be late.
Carmilla unzips Lauras dress, removing it, exposing her corset, Laura turns back around to face Carmilla, as they kiss. Carmilla turns around and Laura removed her dress.
Laura drops to her knees, kissing Carmilla as she does. She kisses the inside of Carmilla’s thigh, as Carmilla gently plays with her hair. Laura stands up, briefly kissing Carmilla, and then breaking away to lie down on the bed, Carmilla joins her on the bed, she kisses Laura, and then moves down her body, kissing her left breast. Carmilla lifts up Laura’s skirt, and dives under it. The camera focus on Laura’s face as she gasps in pleasure
Carmilla wipes her mouth as she goes in to kiss Laura. Laura flips them over so that she’s on top. Carmilla removes Laura’s corset leaving her topless (seen from behind), Laura drops back down to kiss Carmilla as Carmilal’s hands run along Laura’s back, scratching it, as Laura’s hand moves off screen, Carmilla moaning
We see Laura and Carmilla dressed fully again, with masquerade masks running down the stairs, Laura in the lead
Carmilla: I’m coming.
They reach the ballroom. An unnamed ghost greets them. There are several pairs of ghosts dancing, as well as LaF and Perry. Mel is standing in the background watching, next to Charlotte.
LaF: Looking good, frosh!
Carmilla looks at Laura
Laura (laughing): What?
Carmilla: May I have this dance?
They go out on the dance floor, giggling, and start dancing
Perry: I’m sorry about the way I handled things last night.
LaF: It’s alright, I know you didn’t mean any of it.
Perry: I may have been a little harsh, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong.
LaF: Let’s not fight in front of the ghosts, honey.
Charlotte looks bored.
Mel: It’s not your thing either, hunh?
Charlotte: Emily has always wanted to belong to society. I understood life differently. [Mel looks at her] If you have to conform, you never belonged.
Mel (smiling): Okay, how did you fall for Vampirella’s schtick?
Charlotte: I didn’t. My sister vanished. I went looking of her. She’s never forgiven herself.
Mel: What about you?
Charlotte: I didn’t leave her then, how could I now?
Mel: You wanna try this stupid dance?
Charlotte: Obviously.
Mel and Charlotte dance.
We see several dancing couples, including Kirsch with another unnamed ghost-lady
Laura (slow-dancing very close with Carmilla): This is nice. Kinda like that grad ball we never got ‘cause our school was a supernatural death trap. [Carmilla chuckles] I missed this. I mean, not the pulse-pounding terror, but ... the parts where we help people. Though, I do wish we’d figure out why the ghosts were here in the first place.
Carmilla: Hey, Laura ...
Laura: I know, no need to keep prying. The ghosts will move on. You will get your life back and ... we can go back home.
Carmilla: No. I, um ... I think at that therapist’s appointment, I may have, um ...
Laura notices the table from her dream, and has a brief flashback to the dolls disintegrating and other scenes
Carmilla: Laura?
Laura: Sorry. Weird déjà vu.
Suddenly she sees dream!Carmilla for a brief second. She backs away from Carmilla
Carmilla: Hey, what’s going on?
Laura: I though ... I thought I saw ... the woman in black, the ... you! The you from my dreams, but that’s impossible, right?
Carmilla: Come on, let’s sit down.
Laura sits down on a chair
Laura: I’ll get you a drink, okay?
Laura has a dream-vision. Carmilla, all in black, with a woman dressed in white with purple fringes.
Carmilla: Come with me, loving me, to death, or else hate me and still come with me, hating me through death and after
Laura snaps back to reality, LaF is next to her.
LaF: Are you okay?
Carmilla arrives with two glasses of champaign. Laura notices a woman dressed in black, with a mask. Laura gets up, rushing to where she saw the woman, but the woman is gone.
Laura: Where is she?
Carmilla: Hey ...
Laura: She was right here!
Mel: What’s going on, Hollis?
Laura: The woman in black, the one wearing a mask
Mel: Everybody’s wearing a mask. [to Charlotte] Do you know who she’s talking about?
Charlotte (to Laura): Maybe if you’re not feeling well, you should sit down.
Laura: I’m dreaming things while I’m awake now. What’s next?
A light glow fills the room.
Emily: It’s almost time! The Ash Moon has begun. Gather round for the ritual.
Skip to all the ghosts plus Carmilla in a circle around a black table (the same one from Laura’s dream), Laura and the others are standing outside of the circle.
Emily: Before we begin, I want to say how grateful we are. Whatever you’ve done in the past, you’ve come to help us now, and I think that shows a strength of character that is quite remarkable.
Carmilla: Yeah, sure.
Charlotte: It’s time, Emily.
Perry: It’s your last night on Earth. Are you sure you don’t want another drink before you go?
Charlotte: The ritual must be performed before the Ash Moon ends at sunrise. Otherwise, we’re trapped here forever. So, no.
Emily begins reciting some foreign language and places a broach in the center of the table, the one from Laura’s dream
Carmilla: Wait, that’s the broach that I ...
Emily and Charlotte place her hands on the broach, and she gasps, frozen. The ghosts join hands.
Laura: Carm?
A glowing light appears from Carmilla’s chest, moving into the broach.
LaF: That’s Carmilla’s spark! It’s leaving her! Wh-why is it going in to the broach?
The ghosts start shaking and seizing
Kirsch: Uh ... guys?
LaF (looking worried) Did that spell say anything about spirit entanglement?
Emily: It’s not supposed to happen like this!
Laura: Something’s wrong!
She starts to approach the circle, but is stopped by Perry
Perry: Laura, stay back, it’s dangerous!
Laura: We have to stop the ritual!
Emily: I can’t! It’s out of control!
Suddenly Emily disappears, in a brief flame, which spread through the circle
Unnamed ghost: We’ve been tricked!
Charlotte: I don’t want to go back!
LaF: We need to disrupt the circle!
LaF rushes towards the circle to try to break it. They free Charlotte from the circle, but get caught themself, pushing Charlotte back into Laura before they disappear.
Perry: LaF!
Laura rushes twoards Carmilla
Perry: Don’t touch Carmilla, it will take you too!
A masked woman appears, the same woman we saw earlier, humming.
Woman (to Carmilla): Did you think you’d get away with it? Summon us up to ease your mind and then just waltz away? Did you really think there’d be no consequences?
Laura: It’s you.
The woman removes her mask, revealing herself to be Elle.
Elle: Surprise! Not the brightest little ingénue, are we?
She grabs the broach. There’s a bright light and a high-pitched ring as everyone falls back. When the light fades, everyone’s on the floor, geting up. Except Carmilla, who’s not getting up. Elle takes something from the table and leaves.
Kirsch notices a pile of dust where LaF had been
Kirsch: Is that pile of dust LaFontaine?
Perry: They’re j-... they’re just ... they’re just gone
Mel (to Charlotte): Are you okay?
Laura (off screen): Carm?
Charlotte: I need to hide
Charlotte runs off
The camera shifts to Laura and Carmilla, Carmilla’s on the floor, not moving
Laura: Carm? Carm? [Checks Carmilla’s pulse] Carm! [Laura starts shaking her] Carm! Hey! Hey! C’mon, hey! [slaps Carmilla’s cheeks trying to wake her up] Carm! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Carmilla opens her eyes
Carmilla: Hey ...
Laura pulls her up and they embrace. Laura’s eyes widen in shock
Laura: Your heart. It’s not beating. You’re a vampire.
The camera shifts to Elle at the front door, trying to get out, but the door is still stuck.
Elle: Nooo!!!! Why won’t it work? I’ve sent all the ghosts away! [takes out broach and starts chanting in foreign language again; she tries again with no success] Did one of them escape me?
Back in the bedroom, Kirsch is changing, while Perry reads the book.
Kirsch: So, did I miss something, or did that go radically not as planned?
Laura: It was Elle. She was at the masquerade. She knew about the ritual, she knew exactly what was going to happen.
Kirsch: How could she have known?
Carmilla: Because Emily and Charlotte lied to us. They had to have known she was here
Laura: You think vacuumed, screaming back to a hellish nightmarescape was part of their plan? [Perry and Carmilla look at her] Sorry. We will figure this out. We will find LaF. Why would Elle do this?
Carmilla (holding a bottle of hemo-soy): You heard her, to punish me for what I did by stealing my life. [drinks from the bottle]
Laura: But she can’t steal anything, she’s trapped here just like us unless all the ghosts move on.
Perry: But the ghosts are gone. All of them except Elle and Charlotte. Elle can’t leave until Charlotte is also sent back to the nightmare land, like all the other ghosts. LaF thwarted her plan
Carmilla: And now that my spark’s in the broach and Elle has the broach, if she gets rid of Charlotte, she could become human and leave.
Laura: We have to find her. Now.
Mel (entering the room): That’s easier said then done. Miss Sheridan is gone, girl.
Carmilla: Not to mention we don’t exactly know how to extract a life force from a magical broach.
Carmilla sets down the now-empty bottle of hemo-soy, and picks up another one
Mel: You may want to go easy on those, that's the only case
Carmilla: Terrific.
Laura: But, Elle must have the spell already. I mean, that’s her escape plan, right? So we have to find Elle before she gets to Charlotte, then Perry can find the spell to put your spark back -
Perry: Laura, what are you talking about? We have to find LaF first.
Laura: Of course, of course, we have to find both of them, but if we lose Elle now, then all of use are trapped -
Perry: We have to find Elle later, LaF comes first!
Laura: We can’t just let her take Carmilla’s life!
Awkward silence as everyone looks at each other
Kirsch: We could start in the study
Mel: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but beefcheeks is right. We don’t have much time.
Mel, Kirsch, and Perry leave the room. Carmilla approaches Laura, touching her arm. Laura pulls away
Laura: I need to get out of this dress
Carmilla: It will be easier if you let someone help
Carmilla reaches for Laura, Laura spins around facing her angrily
Laura: Did you summon up the ghosts? Because that’s what she said, Elle, that you summoned her up.
Carmilla: I think it’s ... possible.
Laura: Possible? How do you not know whether you summoned up the ghosts of your former victims who maybe want some light, refreshing revenge?
Carmilla: Because, it was just something stupid that happened at the therapist’s appointment!
Laura: What?
Carmilla: She ... said I could never move forward unless I dealt with my past, so ... she had me think about Elle and the others, and, you know, there was the usual “manifest your issues” crap, but ... I had completely forgotten about it until my issues actually ... manifested
Laura: And when were you going to share this little piece of information with me?
Carmilla: I was waiting for the right moment.
Laura: You know what would’ve been a good moment? Any time before the ghost of your former lover killed you! (starting to cry) She killed you. I thought she killed you.
Carmilla: Hey [opens arms] come here [Laura embraces her, sobbing against her] I’m still here. OK? I’m still here. We’re gonna get my life back, okay? And all those things we want, every single point on your five-year plan, we’re gonna do them, okay? Okay, let’s get you out of this thing.
We switch to Mel, Perry, and Kirsch in the study
Perry: Either Emily decoded the spell wrong, or Elle tricked her. The spell she did cast used Carmilla’s spark to force the ghosts off to the nightmare land that Emily described.
Mel: You think that’s where the braniac ended up? [Perry nods] You think you can get them back?
Perry: I think the real moving-on spell might do it. But, that means we only have till sunrise to find the code key. [Mel looks out the window at the moon] And I’ll need Carmilla’s spark.
Mel: Well, that makes getting the broach back priority number one. Hollis’ll be chuffed. [looking at Perry] Perry, LaFontaine knows you’re looking for them. They know. It’s what we do.
Mel slaps Perry’s leg in comfort. Perry returns the gesture
Back in the bedroom, Laura’s in her regular clothes, and Carmilla’s putting on a shirt. A humming sound is heard, and Laura flashes to another dream sequence.
Carmilla enters a room, looking very happy, dressed in white
Carmilla: It’s done! We leave tonight. In three days, we’ll be on an ocean liner headed for New York.
Elle looks less than thrilled. She stands up from where she was sitting
Carmilla: You’re gonna love New York! It’s full of ... concerts, and theater, and ... life. Your life life is gonna be so much bigger than you ever imagined!
Elle has now been replaced by Laura. Laura!Ell turns aroung to face Carmilla.
Carmilla: Wh-what are you doing?
The humming returns. Elle appears creepily sliding up Laura, she takes Laura’s right hand, a knife now in it, and slices her left palm open.
We suddenly return to the real world, Laura’s completing the slicing motion
Carmilla: Laura! Hey! Are you alright?
She looks down and sees Laura’s palm sliced open.
Laura: What in Stoker’s name is going on?
Time-skip. Perry and Mel are now present. Perry is getting gauze out of a first aid kit while Mel supports Laura’s hand.
Mel: So Elle can dream-kabob you in real life? Is that a normal ghost thing? Are we supposed to know they could do that?
Laura: She’s sent me dreams before. This is the first time she’s reached out and slashed me.
The camera focuses on Carmilla, looking broodily out the window
Perry: Oh, dear
Laura: No, no, no, no, no. Not “oh dear”, we do not need an “oh dear” right now.
The conversation becomes slightly muted, as we hear the sound of beating hearts
Perry: Well, I mean, I’m still deciphering, but there’s several spells in this book which might make ghosts much more powerful, especially in the dream world.
The camera shifts back to Laura, Mel, and Perry
Laura: Right, so Elle’s faster, better, stronger. Can we undo that? Use the book to soup ourselves up?
Perry (reading): “Side effects may include ... anxiety, insomnia, dream contagion, and ... death”
Laura: So ... no. Wait ... dream contagion? Is that like ... sometimes in the dreams it’s like she can’t completely control them, like I’m seeing things that she wouldn’t want me to see. Like just now, I saw you getting ready to leave for New York.
Carmilla: No one’s going anywhere until we find Charlotte. The Craft here will keep researching. You, Mel, and frat-boy can ... [notices that Kirsch isn’t around] Where’s the frat boy?
Mel: That burrito-chomping, protein-powder-snorting, gullible, mush-brained ...
We see a pile of ash with a sandwich on it
Mel: ... dope.
We pan up to see Carmilla, Perry, Laura, and Mel looking at what used to be Kirsch.
Mel: I told him
Perry: It’s the same as LaF.
Laura: Okay, we have to find Charlotte and get that broach back before Elle finishes this little re-enactment of And Then There Were None.
External view: The moon in the sky
Laura (voiceover): Search every nook and cranny, Charlotte has to be somewhere
Carmilla: Be careful. Elle knows this place better than we ever will.
We see Laura and Carmilla searching. They enter a room, and Carmilla looks at the books on a mantle. She pulls one out as Laura watches.
Another flasback-dream. Laura (as Elle) lying on Carmilla’s lap as Carmilla reads from a book labelled Le Fanu Poems
Carmilla: “Girls are caterpillars while they live in the world, to be finally butterflies when the summer comes. But in the meantime, there are grubs and larvae, so says Monsieur Buffon”
There’s a thunderclap, and then we see Elle standing behind the couch
Elle: To think of the trouble I went to, [Laura gets up, running for the door] warning you, [Elle blocks her escape thinking you’d learn from my mistake.
Laura: Yeah, cause Carm’s the villain here. Aren’t you the one zapping innocent people for no reason?
Carmilla: I’m doing it to keep what’s mine.
Laura: That life isn’t yours.
Elle: It’s what I’m owed. And I wouldn’t waste it on some banal five-year plan.
Laura notices LaF drawing some kind of symbol on a mirror.
Laura: LaF?
The dream sequence ends abruptly, Carmilla’s still in the middle of taking the book out
Laura: LaF! I saw LaF!
We skip ahead, Laura sitting on a couch with a pad of paper, Perry and Mel on either side, and Carmilla behind them
Laura: Drawing some sort of symbol, looked like this ... or maybe like this. [Laura’s drawing two versions of the symbol she saw in her dream]
Mel: How did you get past second grade?
Laura: I saw it for half a second in a ghost-induced nightmare, give me a break.
Carmilla: Any idea what it means?
Perry: No, but if LaF thinks it’s important enough to send from beyond the vale ... if I could just identify it, maybe it could hep decipher the moving-on spell. I’ll try to figure this out, while you guys go get a life.
Laura gets up and moves toward the door
Carmilla (to Mel): Go with her, keep her safe.
Mel: What are you going to do?
Carmilla: Well, young lady stole my life and turned me back into a vampire? So, I’m gonna remind her what that means.
Mel (to Perry): How about you?
Perry: Oh, I’ve got the EMF. If it so much as chirps, I’ll shriek.
Mel gets up to follow Laura. We see Mel and Laura heading down some stairs, as Perry studies the spell book, and the EMF detector produces static noise, and then starts beeping, Perry looks up.
We switch scenes to Carmilla entering a room, where Elle waits, facing away from the door.
Elle: I used to think you and I would spend our lives reading to each other. If only I’d known how brief one of those lives was going to be.
Carmilla: Hello, Elle.
Elle: Is that all you have to say to me? After what you did?
Carmilla: I never meant to hurt you.
Elle: Oh, don’t apologize. [Elle turns around to face Carmilla] It costs you nothing.
Carmilla: So, what? This is about me paying for my sins?
Elle: You never even stopped to think if you deserved this life. I’ve watched you. All these years. You've never thought of anyone but yourself.
Carmilla: Well, that’s some big talk coming from the girl who sent her friends to a nightmare land.
Elle: Me? Oh, no, I’m just thinking about myself. Oh, wait, I wonder who taught me that?
Carmilla rushes at Elle to hit her, but Elle vanishes and reappears by the door.
Elle: Oooh [chuckles] Not very ladylike, Miss Karnstein.
From off screen, Laura’s scream can be heard
Carmilla: Laura!
Elle: Better run, Carmilla. These old house are so dangerous, after all.
We see Carmilla running with her supser-speed to the study, where Laura and Mel are already present
Laura: Damn it! [camera pans to the pile of ash that used to be Perry, there are various notes around her, the only one that can be seen clearly says “... is a giant trap??”] Perry. You never should’ve left her alone
Mel: No sign of the spell book, either. [to Carmilla] I take it your little chat with the ghost of girlfriends past was a bust?
Carmilla: Yeah, I’m getting pretty sick of this haunting crap.
Charlotte: Imagine how we feel. [All three turn around to see Charlotte in the room with them] I’m wondering if we might be of assistance to each other.
Charlotte’s sitting on a couch with the others around her
Charlotte: Miss Sheridan said you would never go along with the spell if you knew she was with us. I should’ve known that she only wanted your life for herself. It was all she ever talked about. The wide world that she’d been denied. As if the same thing hadn’t happened to us all. (to Mel) I’m sorry about your friend. I didn’t know what would happen when they pulled me back.
Laura: Can you help us get them back?
Charlotte: I don’t know. But we have to stop Miss Sheridan.
Mel: You got any thoughts on the stopping front?
Charlotte: It’s me she wants, so perhaps ...
Another dream sequence. Laura and Elle are alone in a room. Laura’s sitting in a chair while Elle approaches her, pulling out a knife.
Laura: Do we really have to do this Nightmare on Elm Street crap?
Elle: Fine [turns around, then turns back, now holding a tray with a tea pot and tea cups, the room gets brighter] Let’s speak as reasonable women. Elle sits down in the chair net to Laura’s, setting down the tea tray. So. Your friends are trapped beyond the veil. You, Carmilla, and your ... trigger-happy accomplice are next. Sugar?
Laura: ... sure
Elle: But, if you hand over Charlotte, and let me keep this life -
Laura: It isn’t yours to keep
Elle: That’s beside the point! Let me keep it ... and I’ll bring your friends back. You can all ... leave this place.
Elle hands Laura a tea cup, she accepts it warily
Laura: What happens to Charlotte?
Elle: Well, I’m afraid poor Charlotte will have to ... follow her sister. But, you know that was always going to happen, so.
Laura: She’s just like you. They all are. Don’t they deserve a chance to move on?
Elle: Oh! [laughs] Oh, you haven’t figured it out yet. The only way that Charlotte and Emily can reach their ... everlasting rest, is if Carmilla sacrifices her human life. [Laura looks shocked] So, let’s not pretend that you’d sacrifice Carmilla’s life for a few wayward spirits, any more than I would.
Laura: You can’t just leave them trapped in a nightmare!
Elle: You’d let your friends die in here to ... help them?
Laura: There has to be another way!
Elle: Ugh! You’ve had your chance. [the room darkens again, thunder cracks] Whatever happens now is your fault.
Laura’s back in the real world, gasping back to consciousness
Carmilla: Elle? Are you alright? Did she do anything to yo uin the dreamscape?
Laura: No. I just wanna get her out of my head. I wanna get your life back.
Carmilla: Well, we think we can lure her out into the open by using Charlotte as bait.
Laura: You’d do that for us?
Charlotte: There’s only a few hours left of the Ash Moon. If Emily and I want to move on, it’s our only chance.
External shot of mansion, shots of various rooms. We see Charlotte coming down the stairs
Elle: There you are! You know, it’s impolite to cause your host so much trouble.
Charlotte: I’m sure I’ll find a way to repay you.
Elle grabs Charlotte’s neck, pushing her up against a wall.
Laura appears, followed by Carmilla, and then Mel with her crossbow, surrounding her
Elle: A trap? You aren’t serious.
Carmilla: Vampire, warrior, journalist. I like our chances. Let’s have a little chat about taking things that don’t belong to us.
Elle: You first
Elle zooms over to Mel, vanishing her into Ash
Charlotte: Mel!
Elle: Best get the broom out. [kicks the pile of ashes, then zooms over to do the same to Charlotte] Look at that. Then there were three. [to Laura] You should’ve taken up my offer, sweetheart.
Carmilla: Offer?
Elle: Your life for you friends. Don’t worry, Laura declined when she discovered that Emily and Charlotte can’t move on without destroying your precious spark.
Carmilla: You’ll never be able to enjoy it. You’ll spend the rest of your days looking over your shoulder [Rushes to grab Elle’s arm] Wondering if it’s my step you hear at the door.
Elle attempts to slice Carmilla with her knife, but Carmilla dodges too quickly.
Elle: I’ll take my chances. I’ve got the broach. There’s nothing you can do to stop me.
Carmilla: Maybe not. But she knows krav maga.
Elle: What?
Laura grabs Elle’s arm, wrestling the knife out of it, they fight
Laura: Why do people always forget that?
Elle, Laura, and Carmilla fight for the broach. A bright glow appears from teh light, and they all disappear.
Laura appears in a blank white space
Laura: Hello? Carm? Carm! [creepy whispers and howling wind are all we can hear] Pull yourself together, Hollis.
Laura finds herself back in a dream version of the mansion. She sees Carmilla’s rebirthday cake on the same table that they’d performed the ritual at before. The cake then turns into the broach. Laura picks it up. She hears herself, speaking in a sad, almost-monotone, fashion
Dream!Laura: Oh, crap, we’re live? [Laura turns and sees a version of herself dressed in grey, with a microphone for news 9 (the same as in the “local news” clips from the beginning). Behind her is a twisted version of her 5-year plan, with all the goals turned into failures] Today, on Toronto News 9, it’s harsh reality. Abandon your childhood dreams for the dubious security of a subpar paycheck. Spend your days glorifying clickbait and your nights letting fear and misery drive away friends and loved ones. Accept that life is an unbroken chain of mediocrity stretching on and on and on. This is Laura Hollis reporting live from a failed career.
Laura notices Elle approaching and runs down the stairs away from her
Elle: I want my life, you little thief! I want my life!
Laura opens a door, and appears in a brightly-lit room with dream!Carmilla and dream!Elle
Laura: Doors are arbitrary. Wonderful
Dream!Carmilla: Oh, you’re gonna love New York. There’s theaters and conerts and ... life.
Laura: Wait, I know this. I dreamed this.
Dream!Carmilla: Your life is going to be so much bigger than you’ve ever imagined. What are you doing?
We see Dream!Elle taking out a knife. The real Elle appears, grabbing Laura and dragging her out by the ears
Elle: You don’t belong here!
Laura runs off, with Elle continuing to follow her.
She appears in another room, with a weeping Emily being held by Charlotte
Dream!Emily: She laughed. Miss Sheridan, she laughed at the very idea of ... Why did I trust her? Why did I not ... I was supposed to keep you safe.
Laura: Oh, God. Poor Emily. Poor Charlotte.
Elle appears in the doorway.
Elle: Do you know what will happen if you die here?
Laura: Let me guess. I die in the real world too
Elle: Worse. You’ll be trapped, in this hell made of dead minds. I wonder if you’ll feel so sympathetic then?
Laura: Is that what happened to you?
Elle: I don’t want your pity. I want my life! [Elle grabs Laura] I can take it from you living, or I can take it from you dead.
Laura: You’ve seen my dreams. [she kicks Elle in the stomach] Have I ever gone down without a fight?
Laura runs off. She runs into another room, which is the same one from before
Laura: Stuck in an endless loop of someone else’s damage. Classic me.
Dream!Carmilla: Oh, you’re gonna love New York. There’s theaters and concerts and ... life.
Laura notices the real Carmilla behind a couch, watching
Laura: Oh, Carm! Carm! [she runs over to real Carmilla]
Dream!Carmilla (partly overlapping with Laura): Your life’s gonna be so much bigger than you ever imagined! What are you doing?
Dream!Elle slices her left palm. Dream!Carmilla looks away
Dream!Elle: I met a woman in the village today. She said strange things about you. [Dream!Elle raises her palm, lifting it towards dream!Carmilla] What’s wrong? Why won’t you look at me, Carmilla? LOOK AT ME!
Dream!Carmilla looks up, for a brief second, her fangs appear, she hisses and moves towards Elle, before she stops herself. But it’s too late.
Dream!Elle: She was right. You’re a monster.
Dream!Carmilla: I can explain ...
Dream!Elle: Oh, I’ve heard enough of your lies. All your promises. All your talk of a new life.
Dream!Carmilla: No, not lies, in the colonies, things’ll be different! No one will know us! You’ll see that!
Dream!Elle: As if I would go anywhere with you now. No. My new friend is waiting in a carriage below. She is going to take me travelling She’ll show me the wonders of the world.
Dream!Carmilla is horrified, shaking her head
Dream!Carmilla: No, you can’t go with her. Elle, I know, I know I lied, but the horror she has planned for you is much worse than -
Dream!Elle: Worse?! Worse than saying that she loved me ... [whispered] while she drank my blood? [loud] WHILE SHE DRANK MY BLOOD?
Dream!Carmilla (on the verge of tears): Please ...
Dream!Elle: Don’t worry. I’ve told her where you are. She’ll send someone to deal with you.
Dream!Elle leaves the room, as dream!Carmilla falls to her knees sobbing
The camera then pans to Dream!Elle in the room as at the start
Laura: What, is this on repeat? How many times have you watche this?
Dream!Carmilla (entering the room): It’s done. We leave tonight. In three days, we’ll be on an ocean liner headed for New York.
The real Elle appears, Laura and Carmilla hide. Elle leaves
Dream!Carmilla: You’re gonna love New York There’s theaters and concerts and ... life! Oh, your life’s gonna be so much bigger than you ever imagined!
Laura leads the real Carmilla out of the room. They’re now in a staircase.
Laura: Hey! Hey. It’s okay. Hey, you are not there anymore. You are here, with me, right now. And I have the broach. [she places the broach in Carmilla’s hand] If you can just ... absorb it. [Nothing happens]
Carmilla: Nothing.
Laura: Of course not. Of course we still need some stupid spell!
Carmilla: Maybe I should give her my life.
Laura: What? Carm, you can’t! She’s unhinged!
Carmilla: Not to her ... to them. Laura, everything you saw in there ... it’s everything I’ve been avoiding for years. Pretending like being human meant I didn’t do all of those awful things. How is it fair that I get this life while they’re just trapped here? After everything I’ve done?
Laura: Okay. [sniffles] Okay, [sniffles] A, let’s acknowledge that Ell and your mother share some of this blame, and B, we will figure out another way, a way that doesn’t involve you giving up your life.
Carmilla: You mean find a way to avoid responsibility? Mmm-mm [shakes head] You heard Elle, there’s no other way. It’s my life for their freedom.
Laura: What about our life together? Our future? You’re just gonna give up on that?
Carmilla: Laura, I’m not giving up on that -
Laura: Cause, we’re supposed to have arguments over who does dishes, and cupcakes to celebrate big days at work, and grandkids. What is that gonna look like if you can live like you’re 25 forever?
Carmilla: You think I don’t want those things, too?
Laura: Please don’t give up on our life.
Carmilla: I’m not giving up. But I can’t keep running away. Not after what I’ve done.
Laura: Okay [they kiss, then in barely a whisper:] Thank you. [normal volume] Let’s go save some ghosts
We see Elle, pissed off by the front door.
Laura and Carmilla walk through a passageway. A hooded figure in black passes them by, the same ifgure from the dream where Laura saw Carmilla being lowered into the blood-coffin
Laura: Seriously? People can’t just dream about being audited?
They see LaF standing the hallway.
Laura: LaF! [runs to LaF, huggin them] How did you --- ?
LaF: Escape my personal hell? I’ve been through, like, three apocalypses, I can tell the difference.
Laura: Have you found any of the others?
LaF: Funny you should mention that. [LaF opens a door] I’ve been trying to wake her, but she keeps confusing me for ... me.
Perry is watching herself doing paperwork, with Dream!LaF beside her
Dream!Perry: That’s form 83-B done. [a pile of papers appears beside Dream!Perry] Just filing a hundred of these daily ...
Dream!LaF: You don’t mind taking care of these right? There’ll be just, like, 5 or 6 million pages. You can do this alone; you don’t need me. See you in six years.
Laura wakes the real Perry
Perry: Laura? What are you doing in my ... strangely bureaucratic nightmare?
Laura: Elle zapped us into nightmare land. We have to do the spell before sunrise which is coming up fast.
Perry: Well, I had to read the pages before Elle zapped me, but without the code key to decipher the spell -
LaF (clearing their throat): I've got the code key.
Perry: Oh! Yes, the symbol! Do you have the full thing?
LaF: Uh, yeah, I’ve literally got a photographic memory [LaF points at their cybor ete]
Perry: Oh, I could just kiss you on your robot eye!
Sadly, there is no kiss.
The four walk down a hallway, rescuing others from their dreams
Laura (to Mel): You’re safe
Kirsch: Why are people always hunting me for sport?
Perry (leading the others to the room where the ritual is to be performed): Okay, circle up. We don’t need to hold hands or anything, the spell is much more powerful. But, it might be more cozy that way.
Mel: So, what happens to us after the ghosts move on?
Perry: Oh, um, well, we’ll either find ourselves back at the schloss, or cease to exist entirely.
Mel: It’s better than our usual odds
Emily: I’m sorry, not to criticize any plan that would clearly be so much to our benefit, but ...
Charlotte: Doesn’t that mean you have to give up your human life?
Carmilla: Yeah. Well, I’m responsible for what happened to you, so ... this is how I can help.
Carmilla sets the broach down. It turns into Carmilla’s rebirthday cake.
Kirsch: Woah, what happened to the, uh ...
Laura: It’s a cake now. Don’t ask.
Kirsch: Okay.
Carmilla: Alright, uh, let’s get this ritual started before I change my mind.
Perry pulls out a piece of paper and starts chanting in an foreign language. Carm leans over, to blow out the candles on the cake, when Elle suddenly grabs her from behind with a knife
Laura: Carm!
Elle: You think I’m gonna let you do this? Steal everything from me again?!
Laura: But Carm really isn’t the one who you blame for that, is she? I’ve seen that moment between you two over and over again. You had everything that you ever wanted and you gave it up because you were afraid.
Elle: They lied to me. Carmilla, her mother, they betrayed and murdered me!
Laura: You’re right, it isn’t fair what happened to you, but that’s not an excuse. Everything that you’re doing right now, hurting everyone else, hurting yourself, it’s just because you’re afraid of what comes next, but you don’t have to be. We can help you, we can help you find the peace you’ve always been looking for!
Elle: No! No, I don’t want your platitudes! I want my -
Elle is suddenly stopped by an arrow shot by Mel
Mel: Your life. You want your life. Yeah, we know. But it’s not all about you. And you’re a part of this. So, stay put.
Elle slides to the ground, injured, the arrow in her shoulder
Carmilla: Nice shot!
Mel: I’ve been waiting to do that since we got here
Laura and Carmilla embrace. The circle is reformed, as Elle sits quietly in the background
LaF: So, you’re kinda rocking the fieldwork these days, hunh? Think if we got more admin help, you’d be able to come out more?
Perry: I think I could ... find some time to play.
Charlotte (to Emily): We’re almost free of all this
Emily: You shouldn’t have been drawn into it to begin with.
Charlotte: It was 1872. If we hadn’t been killed by vampires, it would’ve been, I don’t know, tuberculosis?
Laura: Oddly specific
Charlotte: Each day was made better because you tried to make it such. I don’t regret a thing. [to Mel] Thank you for the dance. I wish there could be another, but ...
Mel: I get it. You gotta leave with the one that brung you.
Charlotte: Would you like to ... ?
Mel: Obviously.
Charlotte and Mel kiss. Everyone looks happy for them, except Elle who just looks annoyed by the delay
Elle: Ugh, can we please just move on already?
Perry resumes the spell. Carmilla blows out the candles, all but one.
Someone: Ah, it’s working!
Charlotte and Emily vanish in glowing sparkles, followed by Elle. Then Mel and Kirsch vanish, followed by LaF and Perry, leaving just Laura and Carmilla.
Carmilla: What the hell now?
Laura: I guess with all the ghosts gone, there’s no reason for this place to exist anymore. So ... it worked. Hooray. [looking at Carmilla] Sorry about before. I think I’ve been so focused on chasing after your life cause it seemed a lot easier than trying fixing my own.
Carmilla: Hey, you’re Laura Hollis. [chuckles] And I’ve watched you fight vampires ... and gods and even that lady who tried to butt us in line at the craft fair. [they bloth laugh] So, you’re gonna figure it out. Whatever happens next, we’re gonna do it together.
Carmilla prepares to blow out the remaining candle
Laura: If this goes Romeo and Juliet on us, I’m totally gonna haunt your ass.
Carmilla: Of course you are.
They kiss, and then Carmilla blows out the remaining candle.
They find themselves lying on the floor, sunlight coming, holding hands.
Laura: Well, that was a kick.
Laura’s walkie-talkie beeps
Perry (on walkie talkie): Where are you guys?
LaF (on walkie talkie): Is everyone okay, over?
Laura: Affirmative. Laura and Carm A-OK. Over.
Laura and Carmilla get up
LaF: Front door’s unlocked
Perry: Oh! Meet you outside
LaF: You’re supposed to say over
Perry: Over.
Carmilla: Let’s get the hell out of Styria.
Laura and Carmilla walk out of the schloss, joining the rest. Kirsch hands them their bags.
Kirsch: I call dibs on window!
Montage: Walking down the path, then taking a train, then a plane landing, then back to Toronto. The group is having a picnic, and we see Danny in the background talking to Kirsch. Laura and Carmilla are sharing a bottle of champagne
Carmilla (holding champagne bottle as if microphone): And, how does it feel, Ms. Hollis, to officially be a freelance journalist at large?
Laura: I made a huge mistake! What have I done? I quit my job! I gave up my cubicle! I don’t have a plan! What’m I supposed to do without a plan? [Laura starts laughing, joined by Carmilla] Only about half of that was actual panic, so pretty good, right?
Carmilla: Yeah. I’m just gonna go get some blood, babe.
They kiss. The camera pans over to LaF and Perry, looking at some kidn of electronic device.
LaF: So ... this is a blueprint?
Perry: Yep, these are the blueprints they sent over. And, oh, check this out. They have an industrial-sized cleaning closet, and I was thining we could put your reactor over here in this corner.
LaF: That is a beautiful thing.
Carmilla: Selling out going smoothly?
LaF: Uh, we’re retaining executive control over LaFerry at Intrigue. And they’re giving us a thorium reactor. A thorium reactor!
The camera pans over to Kirsch and Danny
Kirsch: It was really scary.
Danny: It sounds a little cushy.
Kirsch: But it was a totally legit adventure. You know, there were ghosts and this haunted mansion and then, you know, this weird netherworld
Danny: And comfy beds and midnight snacks, and a masquerade ball
Kirsch: Look, I even have that mark where I was ghost-zapped. Look. No, seriously look!
Danny: No, I see it
Kirsch: It’s there, look!
Danny: Okay, I see it, you can put it away now.
The camera pans over to Mel. Laura’s standing by her, with a sympathetic look
Mel: Okay, don’t give me pity eyes, Hollis. Like you never had a crush on a dead girl.
Laura: That does sound familiar.
They touch foreheads
Mel: Thanks
Laura walks over to Carmilla
Laura: So, Carmilla Karnstein, a vampire again. What’s next?
Carmilla: I’m thinking ... maybe my PhD in Philosophy. Hey, attend university for 70-odd years, and you rack up a few credits.
Laura: I’m so proud of you.
Carmilla: You’re not worried about how we’ll spend our lives together?
Laura: I figure any two people in a relationship, their lives move at different speeds. That isn’t the part that matters. This, here, right now. This is what matters. And I love you.
Carmilla: I love you too.
They kiss, and then look at the cityscape together as the credits begin
Credits scenes
Montage of various scenes of Laura reporting from various locations
Laura: I’m Laura Hollis and this is a web exclusive for Creampuffington Post. We’re talking today with veteran dragonslayer Elizabeth Spielsdorf about the great apocalypse of 2015
Laura: Hi, I’m Laura Hollis on assignment in Graz where we’re just in time for the ribbon cutting ceremony on the JP Armitage Memorial Library
Laura: I’m Laura Hollis reporting live from the Geneva Summit on the Rights of Were-People
Laura: I’m Laura Hollis reporting to you live from Iceland where scientists have made a breakgthrough discovery of the first drinkable Fountain of Youth
Laura: A scandal brewing tonight on the steps of the capital as the President, who last month was revealed to be an as-yet unidentified species of lizard creature with very small hands, refuses to produce his long-form hatching certificate. This is senior correspondent Laura Hollis for MSSSN-BCD
Credits roll. Pictures of Laura and Carmilla with a baby
Post-Credits scene
Laura and Carmilla asleep in bed. Carmilla wakes up. She yawns, and gets up, walking to the kitchen. She opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of hemo-soy. Mattie shows up
Carmilla: Hey, Mattie.
Mattie: Hey, sis.
Carmilla: Why are you ...
Mattie: Back from the underworld and lounging in your charmingly Bohemian pied-a-terre?
Carmilla: For starters.
Mattie: You and I and the little ingénue that could are going on a road trip. Turns out the anglerfish was female. Before it died, it laid eggs. Just an alarming number of eggs.
Carmilla takes a sip of hemo-soy
Carmilla: Alright, let’s get going.
Title card reading “To be continued ...?
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Review Roundup - Week 2 January 2018
Hello loves!! My name is Jace (aka Felicity B), and this is your Review Roundup for the second week of January 2018!! I can't really tell if I liked this week in music better than I did last week. There's a better variety songs, at least.
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Beware (Stray Kids)
I really wanna like these kids, because it's obvious af that JYP does not.
But.
Nothing they've released has really been up my alley. Beware (I realize that the actual name of the song is GRRR Total Law of Madness, but sis...) sounds like a better produced version of Wolf, and you'd think that was a good thing because Wolf was a poorly produced mess. But this song takes itself so fucking seriously. It's not terrible, but it's not something I really want to listen to again.
I don't get JYP's angle with this group. First, there was the survival show that wasn't really a survival show (which I'm glad, because I fucking hate actual survival shows). And before that was Hellevator, another overly serious song that makes me roll my eyes. And now this. I really don't wanna be a dick because this is their second release and they're teenagers, but I'm not a fan of being growled at by a bunch of high schoolers and then having my ears assaulted by nasal singing (because, of course, their vocalists sound like they're trained by the same people who trained JB). It's not a fun experience.
Do betta, JYP.
Rating - 1/5
Going Going (Jang Wooyoung)
Oh look, it's another JYP act with a bad song!!
Okay, the song isn't that bad, but there's not enough positives for me to overlook the negatives. Of which there are many.
Firstly, this an uptempo that drags; I literally could not wait for the new section to begin, because I was ready for the last one to end. And this is New Jack Swing, baby. My black ass fucking loves New Jack Swing (yes, even The Boys). But I could give you an entire playlist of K-Pop songs in the style of NJS that are W A Y better than this.
Secondly, Wooyoung doesn't sound particularly good singing on top of it. The rap bits were the best parts of the song, for me. Which is about 90% not his fault, because whoever was on vocal production duties was slacking. His voice sounds like dude dropped them on the beat, adjusted the levels a lil bit, added some reverb to sound like he actually did his job, and went tf home.
Tragique.
Thirdly, the arrangement of this song is weird af. What do I mean by that?!?! There are two choruses. Yes honey, you read that correctly - two choruses. The song starts out with a section you'd assume is the chorus, but when you get to the second chorus, it's something completely different. In fact, you don't hear this first "chorus" till the end of the song again (which, in hindsight, I'm glad you only hear it twice, because the lyrics make me roll my eyes so hard and the vocal melody has the weirdest rhythm pattern). I guess that's not too weird when I write it out, but it majorly throws you off when you hear it play out in the song. For me, anyway. Which is surprising, because Red Light and I Got A Boy are All Time Faves™ of mine (with Oh! being a runner up). But I guess I just don't like it here.
#PickyBitch
And since we're on the subject of the arrangement... WHY ARE THESE TRANSITIONS SO FUCKING LONG?!?!?!!?! SIS, THE TRANSITIONS BETWEEN SECTIONS DON'T NEED TO BE 10 FUCKING SECONDS LONG!!! THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!!
Once again - Do betta, JYP.
Rating - 2/5
Don't Leaves (Block B)
And here come the ballads!! We're not mad at it, tho.
We all knew what kind of ballad Don't Leave Me was gonna be. More of a midtempo than an actual ballad, Don't Leave Me sounds a bit like a B1A4 or Seventeen song, but with Block B's track record as of late, we're not gonna dock points for that. Don't Leave Me starts out with a filtered percussion section that they unfilter for about 2.75 seconds before getting into the verse, almost as if they're reassuring us that they haven't gonna completely left of center with this ballad. Which is nice, because it creates a nice transition (not the word I'm working for, but you get what I mean) into the verse. And from there, they layer in more elements to create a nice backdrop for Block B's vocalists to actually show us what they can do.
Because God knows Shall We Dance was literally Zico and the boys. It was fucking ridiculous.
From the teasers, I thought I was gonna hate this (or be extremely apathetic to it ) but I should've known better. These B1A4 style/YG template ballads always get me, sooner or later (*WINN4R cackling as Fool plays in the background*). This isn't something I'm gonna put into Heavy Rotation (because God only knows my hyperempathetic ass doesn't need another reason to randomly be thrust into a depressive episode), but I wouldn't relegate this to Shuffle Bait.
Especially with Zico and P.O sounding as good as they do here. Granted, Zico sings half his verse and P.O doesn't rap at all, but you gotta take those small victories where you can find them. And they have really nice singing voices, too.
Rating - 4/5
The girl from back then (LONG:D)
This, however, is a ballad that's going right into Shuffle Bait. If I even download it, at all.
Where is the LONG:D that gave me All Night, sis?!?!?! The intro literally sounds like the Sad Piano Music™ that Youtubers download en masse from those royalty free music sites. Like, I was literally tempted to skip this release all together, but I rather like the way LONG:D's vocalist sounds (if Baekhyun was a properly trained and a baritone who actually needed all that chestiness in his mix, with a dash of Kang Seung Yoon's rasp).
The girl from back then sounds like a more generic version of Seventeen's Campfire. It's not what I'd consider a classical ballad (has too much going on), but it's just as boring as one. On repeat listens, the Gospel influences (however faint they are) did grow on me, but I can't even see myself wanting to listen to this when I'm in the mood for downtempo ballads. LONG:D's voice puts this into Shuffle Bait, but just barely.
It's too anybody of a ballad, sis.
Rating - 2.5/5
Tell Me (INFINITE)
Dongwoo's demonic ass starting this song with a whispered "Anywhere, Anytime" should have prepared me for how catchy this fucking song was gonna be.
Tell Me, like Wooyoung's Going Going, starts off with the chorus. But instead of giving us two different choruses when no one needed that in their life, it makes a very typical pop song sound a lot more interesting than it actually is.
Now... What Tell Me's composers/producers did isn't original by any stretch of the imagination. I know it seems a little counterproductive to mention this before I explain what they did (and why it's so cool), but I just know someone is going to try me on this.
So.
Tell Me (after Dongwoo terrorizes us with the raspiness in his voice) starts with the chorus, but a very stripped back and simplistic version of it. If you're not paying attention (which I might not have been the first time I listened), you could easily mistake it for the verse. That surprised me, because composers/producers don't usually start out their songs with the chorus being sung, if they have the chorus first; they usually play the chorus melody using some kind of instrument that sounds important (like Orange Caremel's Magic Girl, for example). Tthey'll also usually have it going at full intensity, so when it switches to the verse it's very obvious that what you just experienced was the chorus (since that's usually the most important aspect of the song in pop music).
So yeah, nothing too left field, just an interesting twist on an oft used formula.
Outside of that, this song is a very typical INFINITE title track. Very intensity, much dramas. Which I don't hate, because they're one of three groups in K-Pop who can do a song like this, and not bore me to death.
Rating - 4.5/5
Secret Garden (Oh My Girl)
Secret Garden is Orchestral Pop. It's not just typical, it's cliche af. Even IU, circa 2010, wouldn't have touched this with a 10ft pole.
But God save us all, I really like this song. And it's not even that I'm OMG trash (their anti-South Asian foolery during Windy Day era, combined with my general disinterest with anything they've done since then, stopped that right in it's track), but that chorus melody, sis. It's just so G O O D!! That, combined with the sweet, almost milk chocolatey texture of the instrumentation makes me feel like I'm floating. And you know what, 2018 is all about me livin my best Gife™ (Gay Life), but it's also about me being self-indulgant and liking what I like, no guilt attached.
I will say that I wish that this song had more live instrumentation in it. Those strings are definitely synth generated, and it's kind of distractingly obvious. The percussion is also too heavy for this type of song. It feels like I'm listening to a demo that OMG's company decided to send to a mastering house and release, cause they couldn't be fucked to work on the song anymore. It doesn't ruin it for me, but I can't help but notice these things.
Rating - 3/5
Glow (Choi Jaemin featuring EZ KIM)
Glow is a Sad™ song for Sad Days™. This is a song that throws down a blanket of it's angst and just revels in it. And while that isn't something I'm trying to listen to On The Daily™, I can save this for for those really bad days I just need to cry out those ugly emotions.
Contrary to what I said about Secret Garden, Glow is a song I felt like could have been beefed up by some electronic elements. The bass could have been thickened up in post, because it feels too limp for a song like this. Hell, they could added a low af ass sine bass to sumplement the bassist, and I wouldn't have minded. Overall, the production of this song is very loose. And I get that super tight production in an emotive song like this would have bleached out all the emotion, but more could have been done to tighten up how the elements don't really blend together. Especially the vocalists. They don't really fit together like they should, and I guess that kind of enhances the experience since this song feels like one long ass disonant chord, but still.
Teenage me would have played this song to death. Which makes me glad that I'm not that person anymore.
Rating - 3/5
Lonely (Jo Kwon)
See... I wanted to be petty, and just post his dance videos with Lia Kim, but we're trying to be a better person in 2018.
This is a really nice ballad. Not something I'd put on Heavy Rotation (i feel like a fucking broken record), but if he H A D to do a classical ballad, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I'd have preferred a ballad like his duet with Gain, Q&A, but it was nice of Mr Kwon to remind us plebians that while he is a Dancing Diva™, he did get his start as a ballad singer.
I'm gonna need him to throw it back to his Animal days for the next release, tho. This was nice and all, but I need to see him featuring in Hyuna's next comeback with those shiny red boots and a trope of male dancers.
Also in red heels.
Rating - 3/5
Candy Pop! (TWICE)
Firstly, can I just say that TWICE's Japanese team are R E AL L Y giving these girls the push to be huge, because this video is ridiculously high budget. That is the best animation I've seen in a J-Pop music video. And I used to be a huge J-Pop stan before I got into K-Pop.
Secondly, whoever put that pink monstrosity on my girl, Sana, needs to be fired. I just can't, sis.
Do betta, JYP.
Lots of people are not a fan of Candy Pop, and I can't lie - that's partially why I like it so much. I will admit that I'm a sucker for cutesy pop tracks like these, but I'm also a petty bitch who's no stranger to loudly stanning TWICE because people want to talk shit out the side of their mouths about their supposed lack of talent.
News flash Marleigh/Zeno - the concept of talent in K-Pop literally doesn't fucking matter, because your level of talent does not dictate the kind of music you produce. Groups like SPICA and Mamawhomst Mamamoo have songs that vary wildly in quality, because some of the people they've worked with get lazy af when they work with vocal groups.
Anyway, Candy Pop will do just fine in Japan, because TWICE already have a sizable following there and it fits within the sonic landscape. It also has some pretty cool musical twists, like a halftime break for a post-chorus refrain. I definitely like One More Time better (Candy Pop can get aurally tiring pretty quickly because of that chorus, which is why that post-chorus breakdown is appreciated), but Candy Pop is pretty great, too.
Rating - 4/5
Spotlight (MONSTA X)
Monsta X may have revisited their debut sound, but I don't want to stab them all for it. It's a Christmas miracle!!
Spotlight is Monsta X doin' what Monsta X does best - intense trapstep uptempos with choreography to match. The difference between something like this and Trespass (*shudder*) is that they're taking themselves W A Y less seriously. They look like they're having fun ruining our lives with how hot they are, and even though Spotlight isn't something I'd describe as ~fun~, that still translates to the music.
Spotlight was quite the surprise for me when Universal Japan dropped the video on us. Mostly because it was a Japanese release with a full MV on Youtube (don't look at me like that, Japanese companies are allergic to digital releases actually making sense), but also because I had no idea MX was in Japan.
Spotlight is a banger. It brings me joy to see MX showing their sons how to make music like this and not be absolutely boring or pretentious af. This song is definitely going on Heavy Rotation.
Rating - 4.5/5
Stagger (Cheetah)
This song makes me extremely uncomfortable.
And I get that that was the point, with the video featuring Cheetah in various states of intoxication, but... God, I just feel so fucking unsettled anytime I listen to this song. It feels Wrong™. I get the concept (it's actually pretty cool), but you can't just be outchea makin' songs that no one wants to listen to more than once. That makes no sense, sis.
How does one even describe this song?!?!?! First, there's that horn (I think) sample that has been manipulated to all fuck. There's no way in hell they just copy n pasted that from somewhere with it sounding like that. That's like the base of the song. And then you've got that stilted drum machine patterns, combined with parts of the song playing in reverse. Cheetah almost doesn't fit in this song with how sharp her rapping is, but it works (I guess), because it adds to the disonant atmosphere of the track.
I'm here for artistry and experimentation in popular music circles, but can we make songs that people can actually, you know... LISTEN TO?!?!?!?!?!?
I will say that I'm here for the preview she showed at the end of the video, tho. Ma'am outchea givin us High Fashion Butch™ with a tropical beat, and my wig was instantly in tatters.
Rating - 1/5
20th Century (V.E.I.L)
Idk who V.E.I.L is, but I love this song.
The quickest way to get me into your band is to give me New Wave. Or NuDisco. Or Deep House. Or Lo Fi Electronica (like 20th Century). To be honest, you could give me any number of throwbacks to the '80s or '90s, and I'd fucking love you.
But that's neither here nor there.
20th Century is a fun af song, and I wonder when this became such an oddity in K-Pop. Companies these days (as well as stans) are obsessed with perfection in their groups, at the cost of personality. And granted, it's always kind of been this way, but it's at an all time high these days. Every group performs like a well oiled machine. Which is great. But they look like robots. And with the music these agencies give their groups, it's not a pleasant experience. Very rarely is a terrible one, but at least when it's bad, it registers a reaction.
Anyway, 20th Century sounds like something I'd expect from the Polysics (now that's a throwback to my weeb days, if I've ever seen one), but more on the electronic side. It's got that same Lo Fi/'90s feel to it, but it's dressed up in '80s synthpop. Which is never a bad thing. A part of me almost wonders what this song would be like if an idol group promoted it, but she quickly hushes up when my logical side reminds her an idol group would never promote anything with production this Lo Fi.
I mean, there's TAHITI's Tonight, but sis... Let's not kick 9muses 2.0 while they're down.
Rating - 4/5
Butterfly (Weki Meki)
Fascinating how Weki Meki had to have their comeback delayed because of trouble with a shareholder, but they were able to push out this song for the Winter Olympics.
But I'm sleep, tho.
Weki Meki's Butterfly is a cover of the 2009 OST for the film Take Off, originally by Loveholics. Weki Meki's cover was released in honour of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games.
Um... I like Weki Meki's cover more than the original.
Weki Meki's cover is in the style of synthpop, and that fits the chord progressions and song structure a lot more than the pop/rock arrangement of the original. It also brings out the nostalgic vibes of the song, because these types of chord progressions were used very heavily in the '80s/'90s. After listening to Weki Meki's cover, the original just sounds flat and poorly produced. Which I mean, K-Pop didn't really have good production till about 2013/2014.
So.
The video linked above doesn't feature the full song, so here's a lyrics video that does.
Rating - 4/5
Electric Kiss (EXO)
Yes, I do realize this song has been floating around the EXOnet since around November, but I haven't seen an official release featuring the full song till this dance practice. And I've been wanting to cover this forever.
You guys, tell me why I thought EXO was really about to throw some 5th Harmony/BO$$ type shit down with that intro?!!?! I really thought I was about to get EXO outchea, flexin' on these heauxs, but maybe we aren't ready for alladat. Lordt knows the way EXO L reacted to Lotto shows it.
But that's neither here nor there, sis. What matters is how amazing Electric Kiss is. She starts out strong with heavy brass stabs and an even heavier drum beat, and only builds from there. Miss Kiss is not playin' games with us, ladies. She might not have been the BO$$ style flex that I thought she was gonna be, but that doesn't mean she's a slouch, neither.
When teasers for a Japanese EXO album turned up on SM's YT channel (which makes no fucking sense, but okay, girl), I was iffy. With singles out like Love Me Right ~romantic universe~ (as if adding a subtitle would make that song any better) and Coming Home, I was not hopeful. But Electric Kiss bangs harder than anything EXO has released since Call Me Baby. I never would have expected a Japanese EXO campaign to net me music this good with how bad their Japanese singles have are, but I really should've known better. EXO has always thrown down when it comes to the music, and Electric Kiss is a certified B A N G E R!!
I was tempted to put this in the Fabulous Five, but the songs there deserve to be, so...
Rating - 4.5/5
Refresh (TSUN featuring YUMADA)
So I see y'all just gon' hit me with the a sexier version of Blah!??!?!?! We really doin' that, sis?!?!?!
Alright, sis... Don't be mad when you see these rough ass body rolls.
Refresh, like I mentioned above, is a sexier version of Planetarium's Blah. It's the same kind Tropic/RnB hybrid arrangement, but the instrumentation is more Tropical than RnB. Miss TSUN's singing definitely gives Refresh an RnB vibe, tho. The production here is a little loose, but it's not too glaring obvious.
Rating - 3.5/5
The Fabulous Five
5. Timeless (Jaehyun, Doyoung, and Taeil of NCT U)
youtube
Firstly, I need someone to tell me what song this sounds like, because it's been bothering me since release. These chords sound vaguely familar to me, I just can't tell what song Timeless shares them with.
Moving on.
When SM annouced that the NCT U Trio were making a comeback with a ballad for SM Station, I was not pleased. Station ballads are notorious for being lackluster af, and I was annoyed that SM really wanted this to be the song that followed Lower.
This is me eating my words.
I'm a little blown away at how amazing this turned out. NCT is a "group" (if you can even call them that) that has always come as more machine than man, so a ballad release (especially a Station ballad release) is the opposite of what I wanted from them. But they sound so raw and vulnerable here, it's a little heartbreaking.
Doyoung, Taeil, and Jaehyun are all very nice vocalists, but it is clear that Taeil is the main vocal of this unit, sis. Like... A bitch really started tearing up during his parts!! Doyoung and Jaehyun have the technical skill, but Taeil was really outchea singin' for his life!! And his belts are so nice?!?!? Fuck... He's really giving Taeyong a run for his money as my NCT bias, and I don't need this.
I can see why they wanted to do a live video here - K-Pop producers have a tendency to overdo the vocal production when doing studio recordings. And while that results in perfect vocals, it comes at the cost of any emotion or integrity in the vocal performance. And for an artform like K-Pop where the ability to emote isn't high up on the list of requirements for idols, that's a big fucking deal. Especially when ballads are usually used as more of a way to show off vocal ability than what they're supposed to. Which is kind of ironic, considering most main/lead vocalists have shit technique, and are usually picked for their ability to belt really powerfully (read - holler real loud).
I definitely would not have liked this if it was studio recorded. Yes, they're recording this *in* a studio (them vocals is too clean, sis), but... Y'all know what the fuck I mean!!
Rating - 5/5
4. Full Moon (Dreamcatcher)
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Dreamcatcher said in a recent interview that they do enjoy their sound, and most of the members (literally everyone except one; and even then, she just wanted to branch out a lil) would like if they could go darker. So I guess this is their agency honoring that.
Full Moon is a very typical Dreamcatcher song (which makes sense, since this is their anniversary release) with symphonic elements mixed within a heavy rock backdrop, which gives off the vibe of heavier J-rock and VISUAL KEI songs. And you wouldn't think that would make for a very pop friendly song, but their composers/producers use very pop-friendly chord progressions and song arrangements. Add in the members of Dreamcatcher (who have voices that are very suited to pop music), and you have a formula that shouldn't work. But it does.
It works, oh so well.
The video linked above doesn't feature the full song (I'm guessing they're gonna release the full video with their March comeback, because the song is already out in full), so here's their performance at their fan meeting that does.
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Rating - 5/5
3. I'm all ears (Kim Taeyeon)
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I'm all ears is a song from Taeyeon's Christmas album (which I might have downloaded, but never listened to). I'm guessing the video release is a gift to the fans type dealio, because she's not promoting it.
I find it interesting that I'm all ears was included on a Christmas themed album, because it feels springy. In fact, this song almost feels like Taeyeon heard Jessica's Because It's Spring, and decided that she wanted to make her own version. Which I'm cool with, because I like I'm all ears better. I like when Taeyeon gives us light and airy. Beltyeon is annoying, because her belts sound pinched and nasal. And Taeyeon relies on them far too much to cover up the fact that she can't emote very well with her voice.
But this is good.
I'm definitely putting this song on Heavy Rotation. I know, #Shocking. But if anyone peeped how I was fawned over Twenty Something from last week's list, it really shouldn't be that surprising.
Rating - 5/5
2. Love You (Eom Ji Hee)
youtube
Now this is a real throwback to my youth days (don't ask, I'm not about to become That Kind™ of blog).
There's something so... Nice™ about hearing something this raw and unmastered, especially since we're so used to hearing such high production values in K-Pop. And I know I've clocked other songs on these lists for having loose production, but the difference is that this is SUPPOSED to be low production; this is literally a girl singing with her backing band with a camera on. I could point out all the things "wrong" here, but they don't really take away from the performance. The songs I've clocked for being low production, however, were studio recorded affairs that missed the mark. And granted, not everyone can afford to send their shit to a professional mastering house, but it's not hard to get harmonies to sit nicely in the mix.
Anyway, this is another song that sounds real familiar (I'm pretty sure this is a cover, because even the vocal melody sounded familar, and that's a big fuckin no no), but it sounded real nice. This is musics I'm trynna listen to on good days when I can't sleep. The video is even perfect for it, with it's starry projection on the band!!
Rating - 5/5
1. Diamond Girl (MxM BRANDNEWBOYS)
youtube
Remember how I said you could give me any kind of throwback to the '80s and/or '90s, and I'd be happy?!?!?!
Diamond Girl is exactly what I'm talking about.
Diamond Girl is a funky n (most importantly) fun throwback to the '90s (with a little bit of '80s synth work thrown on top for good measure). The bass work is a highlight for me, and that damn "my diamond girl" hook won't leave me the fuck alone. That, and the "treat you like a gentlemen, like a gentlemen" (which is literally the same rhythmic pattern and interval as Chuu's "you attack my heart, you attack my heart" in Heart Attack) refrain are certified ear worms. Even the biggest pop haters couldn't resist those lines getting stuck in their head.
Like... I really don't know how to describe what I like about this song. Sure, I picked some stuff out, but that's just the tip of the iceburg. This song is balls to the walls A M A Z I N G!!!
2018 is the year of groups with lackluster debuts making amazing comebacks, I guess.
Rating - 5/5
Alright, babies, that's it for this week!! Don't forget to tune in on Friday for the next installment in my Jonghyun tribute with the first SHINee Feature Spotlight at 6pm EST, and next week at 6pm EST for this week's Review Roundup. Love you, guys!!
#Dreamcatcher#NCT U#Taeyeon#MxM#Eom Ji Hee#Doyoung#Taeil#Jaehyun#SNSD#Felicity B#Review Roundup#Review
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Contradicciones
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