#subconscious mind is a mechanism
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fastlane-freedom · 1 year ago
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The Unseen Influence: Why Many Overlook Subconscious Power
The human mind is a marvel, a vast and intricate domain of thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. While we often consider ourselves the masters of our conscious thoughts, we are not always aware of the powerful force operating beneath the surface – the subconscious power. The subconscious power is like an iceberg; only a fraction of its power is visible, while the vast majority lies hidden beneath…
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knowlimitations · 7 months ago
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Transcending Dimensions: Exploring Potentiality in the Quantum Realm
The endless abyss of potentiality is the womb of all existence, encompassing both the tangible and the potential. Just as a flickering candle disperses darkness, consciousness sheds light upon the uncharted depths of the subconscious.  It is unfortunate that our innate inclination is to seek solace within the confines of familiarity. Letting go of the known threatens to unravel our perception of reality, compelling us to desperately cling to our established beliefs.  We cannot let go of what we know as it would disrupt our perception of what we know as reality, so we desperately cling to our belief systems, it is all we know.  We are deeply unsettled and disturbed by the idea of the unknown… death is a classic example of this. Are these tendencies our greatest hindrance?
The double-slit experiment, a cornerstone of quantum mechanics, invites us to question the nature of reality itself. This experiment can be a contentious one, but it truly does disrupt the foundation of what we know about reality. Matter can operate as particles or waves depending on who is watching...  the observer and the observed do not appear to be separate entities but intertwined participants that are the foundation of the reality we perceive. Quantum entanglement, another marvel of the quantum world, transcends the confines of classical logic, it beautifully illustrates the interconnectedness that pervades the universe. It opens our minds to a reality beyond our grasp, where particles communicate instantaneously across vast distances, defying the constraints of space and time.
These are two profound examples of a realm we don’t yet understand. Perhaps we don’t understand the quantum world because we cannot yet perceive why these particles act a certain way in our current paradigm. In a 2D world, a stick person would perceive a three-dimensional object, such as a sphere, as a series of changing 2D shapes, like expanding and shrinking circles, depending on their perspective and position relative to the object. In our current reality, we perceive the world in 3D, but what if we had the cognitive capacity to perceive it in 4D? Perhaps we could understand the mechanics of this "spooky action at a distance” (Einstein), and therefore, ask the questions that are more appropriate to it’s multidimensional nature. This is speculative and hypothetical, but I can’t help but contemplate this idea.
If we aren’t open to new paradigms, the questions we ask will always be limited. What if, by shedding the limitations of certainty and embracing the fluidity of uncertainty, we could break free from the cyclical patterns that have disempowered humanity throughout history? What if, instead of clinging to our egos and rigid belief systems, we allowed ourselves to be swept away by the currents of curiosity and wonder? I do believe it would transform our current scientific model. In this paradigm-shifting thought, scientists become not mere seekers of knowledge, but explorers of consciousness itself. By transcending the limitations of linear thinking and embracing a multidimensional perspective, they may unearth deeper truths about the underlying fabric of reality.
When do we collectively choose to transcend our narrow, self-centered human existence and venture into the vast, abundant, and empowering abyss of infinite potential?
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0D = dot (zero dimensions). 1D = The line that was drawn from the dot now has 2 dots (2 zero dimensions). 2D = The square has lines on all of its 4 sides (4 one-dimensions) 3D = The cube that we drew from this square has squares on all of its 6 sides (6 two dimensions) If we follow the same order… then the fourth dimension should have 8 cubes (4D = 8 x 3D) The fourth dimension should have 8 three dimensions. If we draw according to this, this is the shape of the 4th dimension. This shape is known as Tesseract. A Tesseract has 8 cubes in it. In geometry, as we increase the number of dimensions, their shapes will get more and more complicated to understand using our eyes. Illustration and Information from Santhosh Kumar D, Digitash.
The double-slit experiment is a fundamental experiment in quantum mechanics that demonstrates the wave-particle duality of quantum entities, such as electrons or photons. It involves shooting particles one at a time towards a barrier with two slits, which results in an interference pattern on a screen behind the barrier, suggesting that the particles exhibit wave-like behavior. This experiment highlights the bizarre nature of quantum mechanics, where particles can behave as both waves and particles simultaneously.
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crowdsourcedloner · 1 year ago
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for verre 😭: How easily do they cry? Do they ever cry in front of other people? When was the last time they cried?
In day-to-day life it's hard to make Verre cry. She's resilient in social situations, takes things as they come, and is excellent at keeping a cool head in emergencies - things have to be going extremely sideways for her to break down crying. She's an effective emotional rock for the people around her and a reliable shoulder to cry on for her loved ones.
That said, Verre is an incredibly sentimental person. Especially about flowers. Any gift of flowers - dried, pressed, fresh, or otherwise - will lead to her crying sooner or later, though she prefers to retreat to the privacy of her workshop before the tears start if she can. She's not always successful.
as far as the last time she's cried... it's hard to say. mostly because my timeline for her is still heavily under development... odds are it's a time where she gets overwhelmed with her memories or she's relieved after worrying about her family?
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feralghxuls · 2 years ago
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@sphylor mountain and dew are SO. but honestly i didn't even know there was anything more than casual between them til i was writing this but now 👀
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deunmiu-dessie · 7 months ago
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a paralysis demon plays with you at night, this time you're finally awake to see it.
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you're not sure how it started. just that one day it did.
you'd wake up with sticky inner thighs and ruined sheets; the familiar pulsing of your clit, begging for attention almost overwhelming, and your muscles ached as if you had run a marathon the day before. tentatively you'd dip your hand into your panties, nimble fingers finding the hood of your engorged clit, eyebrows pulling together at the almost painful feeling it brought; then they'd drift lower, immediately sinking into creamy, wetness that pooled from your entrance and smeared your labia.
this perverse ritual had become your waking nightmare, weeks upon weeks of waking up to ruined panties and an insatiable hunger that couldn't be sated alone. frustration and tears intertwine, as your lithe fingers desperately caress and coax your clit but to no avail. it'd leave you cranky most days and unapproachable the rest.
what the hell was happening? at first, you believed it to be mere wet dreams, lost in the recesses of your mind. but the inability to find release, even with your touch or the mechanical hum of a vibrator, defied all reason. your sanity teetered on the edge, the constant ache and unrelenting wetness between your thighs, the demands of university, and the grueling hours at the fast-paced coffee shop on campus only exacerbate your torment.
breathe; you had told yourself. you just needed a day to sleep, in order to get back into the groove of your usual hectic life. and so, you make the decision to abandon your responsibilities, forsaking work and classes, seeking solace within the confines of your bed.
but that day you saw it.
as the night grew later, you found yourself slipping in and out of consciousness, struggling to keep your eyes open, you clung to the last shreds of wakefulness, determined to finish the movie that had lured you in with its promises of thrills and chills. the laptop, perched on your chest, emitted a faint glow, casting eerie shadows across the room. but despite your best efforts, the battle was futile. with a heavy sigh, you surrendered, closing the laptop and setting it aside.
that should've been it, you should have gone to sleep and woken up the next morning bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, no longer raging and horny, stressed and tired— just your normal self. yet, as if possessed by an unseen force, your eyes snap open, jolting your mind from the peaceful slumber you had so eagerly embraced, but not your body.
the room was cloaked in darkness, save for the feeble glow of a night light by the door. the time couldn't have been later than two in the morning, leaving you with ample hours until you needed to start getting ready for the day…so why were you up?
grunting you attempt to reach across to your desk and grab your water bottle, your throat suddenly dry and scratchy. but you couldn't move. in fact, your whole body felt numb, as if you'd been submerged in an ice-cold lake. you could feel the hair on your arms standing on end, your heart thumping painfully in your ribcage, desperate to escape from your chest and out the window just above your bed. frantic, your eyes darted around your room, flitting over the darkened corners and further on before subconsciously gazing upwards. it gazed back at you.
it was inky black, as if a void had materialized on your ceiling. barren of any discernible features, a foreboding presence emanated from it, sending chills down your spine. its limbs, neck, and torso twisted unnaturally, giving it a grotesque and elongated appearance. tears welled up in your eyes upon witnessing it, and you attempted to scream, only to find your mouth was sealed as if stitched with needle and thread.
the creature descended from above with erratic movements, settling above your figure and menacingly bringing its face closer to yours. this couldn't be happening, it must be a dream and in a desperate attempt to escape, you tightly shut your eyes and began counting backward from ten, gasping for air with each haggard breath.
however, a phantom graze on your thigh startles your eyes open. the creature was still there, its taloned, inky black hand slowly trailing along your clammy skin. even without a face, you could feel its gaze upon you, sinister and scheming. swallowing thickly, goosebumps follow in the wake of its touch, like tiny flames igniting your skin.
and almost as if accustomed to its advances, your body ignites with a dizzying heat, pussy weeping and your clit throbbing eagerly, readily despite your heart skipping and restarting all in one second with fear. its touch is tantalizing and deliberate, momentarily vanishing underneath your oversized night-shirt before returning to the heat of your thighs, talons pricking your flesh.
the creature's game finally comes to an end as it finds your fattened clit, which eagerly presses against the fabric of your panties, craving any form of touch. its assault is steady but firm and the touch immediately sets you off. your body, needy from weeks of being unable to orgasm, finally reaches its limit. you can feel the knot tightening in your tummy, a sharp, zinging pain in your lower abdomen, and the tensing of your thighs.
however, just as you approach your climax, the creature abruptly stops, shifting its touch to your slick inner thighs, face pressing closer to yours, leering and mocking. without the constant stimulation, your orgasm subsides, leaving you with a throbbing ache in your hips, cunt drooling with your arousal profusely.
your eyebrows cinch together, tears staining your cheeks before you're hit with a realization. the constant feeling of never being satisfied and not being able to cum, was because of this…creature.
its pitch-black visage suddenly splits into a sinister grin, revealing rows of serrated teeth gleaming with viscid, thick saliva. its voice is otherwordly deep, it's guttural, and raspy; fingers returning deftly to your clit to rub circles. "do you remember now?"
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webism · 1 month ago
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kinktober day thirteen; somno w/ toji
toji loves it when you wear his shirts to bed. part of it is a natural possession, sure. seeing you drown in fabric made for his body is enough to send blood southwards. but his love for you in his clothes stems from something a whole lot simpler — his shirts always ride up while you sleep.
toji loves how adamant you are that his clothes are comfier to sleep in, and of course who needs panties when his shirts are so long on you that they act as a nightgown anyway? but you must turn in your sleep enough to kick the sheets down and ride his your top up in the same regard.
toji works late, comes home sore and tired and with one-too-many deaths on his hands at times. it's a sight for sore eyes, to see you sleeping soundly with your entire lower half exposed. top half too, his shirt bunched up so high your tits spill out from beneath the fabric as well. you're peaceful, away in a dream-state and unaware of his presence in the room. though there's something there, in your subconscious mind—having gone to sleep after texting him with permission to have his way with you when he gets home... even in sleep your mind races with hope.
toji tries to keep his movements small, and he thanks whatever god is out there for his silent steps because waking you up is the last thing he wants to do. not when you look so good like this, laid out and unassuming—maybe its his streak of a corruption kink, or his quiet hope to prove you wrong in your trust, but he wants you asleep for this, at least for the first part. you don't wake as he climbs onto the bed and roves his strong hands up your legs, parting them at the knees and settling his large frame between them.
toji isn't an inquisitive man—he's rough and sharp and mean and acts before he thinks and hardly knows how to handle a feeling. but toji watches your sleeping frame from between your legs and wonders just how much pleasure you could handle in your sleep until it bore too heavy on your soul and woke you up.
toji who eats you out with a delicate tongue for the first time ever: he's never been this kind with you, usually he's drooling all over your pussy, biting at your thighs and wrecking you with the curl of your fingers until you're a teary mess and threatening to suffocate him between your thighs. he learns he likes savouring your taste on his tongue, that you're sweeter when he takes his time—how the slow buildup of your lust on his tongue is just as narcotic as when he's got it smeared all over his face with how mean he eats it.
toji who manages to keep you sleeping even as he pushes two of his thick fingers inside of you, curls them upwards in as gentle of an assault on your pleasure spot he can manage. big the way you start your writhe, how your body recognises him even in a sleep state, turns him on just a little too much.
toji who can’t help himself once he feels your body melting into the thrums of need. he doesn’t want to waste your orgasm when you aren’t awake to fully enjoy it, so he pulls his fingers out of you and gets up to pull his stiff length from his boxers. he knows it’s mean of him, but he wants to wake you with a jolt — and so he does.
toji bottoms out inside of you in one sharp thrust and you wake with a gasp to the stretch of his cock nested so deep you feel it in your stomach. heart racing, entire body alight with need, toji is quick to quiet your gasps with two fingers pushed between your lips and pressed against your tongue. “taste yourself, mama. fuckin’ soaked for me even when you’re sleeping. didya dream about me or somethin?”
toji fushiguro decides there and then that he will learn the mechanics of your body so fluently that he will be able to fuck his cum into you twice over without waking you up. leaving you to rise in the morning and wonder why you’re so sticky and sore—but until then, he’s happy with the way you can’t help but yawn as he pulls almost all the way out of you, just to fucking scream as he thrusts back in.
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heestruck · 3 months ago
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Joint Dream ; Lee Heeseung
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synopsis ; What if we lived in a world where dreams were connected? Where my thoughts became yours. And yours became mine. Where a simple fantasy that ran through your unconscious mind was shared with someone else. And neither of you had any idea that your dreams were connected as one.
In which yn and heeseung have the same sex dream about each other and are forced to get through a long shift not knowing the other person shared the same dream.
pairing ; coworker!fem reader x coworker!heeseung
genre ; smut
warnings ; smut, mdni. hair pulling, degrading, choking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), inappropriate relationship, infidelity, oral fem&male receiving, praising, sex in the workplace, heeseung is downbad, swearing.
do not read if any of this makes you uncomfortable. minors do not interact.
wc ; 7.7k
I’d strongly advise you read the teaser so you can read the dream. you can find that when you click here
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
You stared at your reflection in the mirror, the cool morning light filtering through your bedroom window. The dream from last night clung to your thoughts like a stubborn fog, making it hard to focus. Every time you tried to push it away, it resurfaced—Heeseung’s hands, his breath on your neck, the way he’d looked at you with such raw desire. You shook your head, trying to dispel the images, but they only seemed to grow clearer.
Across town, Heeseung was standing under the steaming spray of the shower, his hand pressed against the cold tile as water cascaded down his back. He’d woken up with the dream still fresh in his mind, the memory of your body pressed against his in the boardroom sending a jolt of arousal through him. He bit his lip, trying to shake the feeling, but the more he thought about it, the more turned on he became. His hand twitched, itching to do something about it, but he forced himself to stay still. He was married, for God’s sake. But even as he reminded himself of that, the thought of his wife barely registered—just a distant echo compared to the vivid images of you.
You pulled a pair of black dress pants from your closet, laying them on the bed as you debated what to wear on top. Normally, getting dressed for work was a mindless task, something you did without much thought. But today, after that dream, it felt different. You didn’t want to dress too provocatively—Heeseung was married, after all, and it’s not like you were going to seduce him—but you also didn’t want to seem like you were behaving out of the ordinary. You settled on a white long-sleeved shirt, hoping it struck the right balance.
Heeseung turned off the shower, running a towel through his hair as he stepped out, the cool air hitting his skin doing little to quell the heat still coursing through him. He stood there for a moment, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he shake this feeling? He tried to think about his wife, but even the thought of her didn’t stir the guilt it used to. Instead, all he could see was you—how you’d looked in that dream, the way your body had responded to his touch. He cursed under his breath, forcing himself to focus on the day ahead.
In your room, you slipped into the black waistcoat, adjusting it until it sat perfectly. The formal look of it made you feel more grounded, more in control. But even as you dressed, your mind kept drifting back to Heeseung. How were you going to face him today, knowing what you’d dreamt? Your heart raced at the thought of seeing him, of being in the same room with him after what had happened in your subconscious. The images from the dream were still so vivid, so real, it was hard to believe it hadn’t actually happened.
Heeseung pulled on a pair of black dress pants, followed by a crisp white button-up shirt. His movements were precise, almost mechanical, as he tried to suppress the arousal that kept surging up every time his thoughts drifted back to you. He fastened each button with deliberate care, but even that wasn’t enough to keep his mind from wandering. His wife’s voice, faint and tired, reached him from the bedroom. “You don’t care about us anymore, do you?” she mumbled, half-asleep but clearly hurt. Heeseung froze for a moment, listening to the words, but they barely registered. He knew she was right—there had been a distance between them for a while now. But instead of feeling guilt, all he felt was a dull, muted acknowledgment. He didn’t care as much as he should, and the realization didn’t bother him like it used to.
In the kitchen, Heeseung’s wife was pouring coffee when he walked in, her expression distant. She didn’t look up when she spoke, her voice flat and resigned. “Have a good day,” she said, the words empty, merely being said out of habit rather than genuine care. “You too,” Heeseung replied, his tone just as hollow. As he grabbed his briefcase and headed for the door, he glanced back at her, but the connection they once had seemed to have withered away. Whatever was missing, he didn’t have the energy or desire to find it again.
You grabbed your bag, checking your reflection one last time before heading out the door. The nerves were still there, but you tried to push them down, reminding yourself that it was just a dream. However, deep down you knew it had changed how you saw Heeseung. As you locked the door behind you, your heart pounded with anticipation, the thought of seeing him today sending a thrill through you that you couldn’t quite shake.
Heeseung climbed into his car, his mind still buzzing with thoughts of you, of the dream that had left him aching for something he knew he shouldn’t want. As he drove towards the office, his grip on the steering wheel tightened, the familiar route passing by in a blur as he mentally prepared himself for the day ahead. He tried to think about the project, about the work waiting for him, but it was useless. The dream had taken hold of him, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t escape it
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
You stepped into the elevator, the familiar hum of filling the small space as you pressed the button for your office floor. The doors began to slide shut when you heard a voice calling out, just before the doors sealed completely.
“Hold it, please!”
Instinctively, you reached out to press the ‘open’ button, the doors pausing their descent before slowly reversing. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw who it was. Heeseung stepped into the elevator, his pace quickening to close the distance before the doors could shut again. He offered you a grateful smile, his hand brushing yours as he reached for the button panel, sending an unexpected jolt through you.
“Thanks,” Heeseung said, his voice smooth, though there was an underlying tension you couldn’t quite place.
“Sure,” you managed to reply, your voice quieter than you intended. You could feel the atmosphere in the elevator shift as the doors finally closed, sealing the two of you inside the small, confined space.
The silence that followed was thick and heavy. You stood side by side, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body, the scent of his cologne enveloping you. Your mind raced, replaying the vivid details of your dream, trying to push them out of your mind. You had never felt so uneasy around him before, and the tension in the air only made it worse.
Heeseung, meanwhile, was doing his best to keep his thoughts under control. The memory of his dream lingered at the edges of his mind, and every time he glanced at you, he felt an odd mix of confusion and guilt. He didn’t understand why he had dreamed about you, of all people, and the lingering effects of the dream unsettled him. But he refused to let it show, keeping his expression neutral and his demeanor calm.
When you and Heeseung first started at the company, it was immediately clear that you were both cut from the same cloth—ambitious, driven, and determined to make a name for yourselves. You joined the company on the same day, and from the outset, there was a natural chemistry between you. You quickly became each other’s unofficial competition, constantly pushing one another to do better, to reach higher. But it wasn’t the kind of rivalry that bred resentment. If anything, it brought you closer together.
In those early days, there was an unspoken understanding between the two of you. You knew that Heeseung would work just as hard as you would, and you respected him for it. Heeseung, in turn, admired your tenacity and sharp mind. The competition between you was light-hearted, almost playful at times. You’d tease each other over who could land the biggest client or who could draft the most airtight proposal, but it was always in good fun. There was a certain flirtatiousness in your banter, but it never crossed the line into anything inappropriate. It was just the way you interacted—two people who genuinely enjoyed each other’s company, who relished the challenge of trying to outdo one another.
There were countless late nights spent in the office, just the two of you, with takeout containers strewn across your desks and a few empty coffee cups lined up as you pored over financial statements or budget proposals. Those nights had a certain intimacy to them, but it was always rooted in your mutual respect and shared goals. There were moments when the teasing would get a little more personal—a compliment on how sharp Heeseung looked in his suit, or a playful jab from him about how you always seemed to have the right answer at the right time. But it was all part of the dance, the rhythm you’d fallen into over the years.
And now, after years of working side by side, something had changed. The friendship that had once been so easy had become tainted with an unfamiliar tension, an awkwardness that neither of you knew how to address. It was as if the dynamic that had once defined your relationship had been thrown off balance, leaving you both unsure of how to resolve this.
The numbers on the elevator panel ticked up slowly, each floor feeling like an eternity. Heeseung glanced at you from the corner of his eye, noticing the way you kept your gaze fixed forward, determined not to meet his eyes. He wondered if you were just as uncomfortable as he was, but quickly dismissed the thought. There was no way you could know what had been going on in his head last night.
“So… how was your weekend?” Heeseung asked, his voice light but slightly strained. It was a desperate attempt to break the silence, to inject some normalcy into the situation.
“It was… fine,” you replied, forcing a smile. “Pretty quiet, actually.”
He nodded, his expression neutral. “Yeah, same here. Quiet.”
The conversation died as quickly as it started, the tension between you both thickening the air. The elevator continued its slow ascent, the atmosphere growing more stifling with each passing second. You could feel your pulse quicken, the proximity to Heeseung almost unbearable as you tried to focus on anything other than the dream.
Heeseung shifted slightly, trying to focus on anything but the lingering tension. He had worked with you for years, and there had never been anything like this between you before. The dream had thrown him off balance, and he didn’t know how to regain his footing. The memory of his wife’s words that morning echoed faintly in his mind, but he pushed it aside, refusing to let it distract him any further.
The elevator dinged softly as it reached your floor, the doors sliding open with a mechanical whoosh. You practically leapt out, eager to escape the suffocating tension, but you felt Heeseung’s presence close behind, his footsteps copying yours as you made your way to your respective desks.
As you reached your desk, you let out a shaky breath, one you hadn’t known you were holding. You sat down in your chair, opening your laptop in hopes that work would be enough of a distraction. Across the room, Heeseung settled into his chair, his face a mask of calm professionalism, but beneath the surface, his thoughts were anything but.
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
The office was quiet, the usual buzz of activity replaced by the soft hum of machines left running through the night. The last of the overhead lights dimmed as their colleagues packed up and headed out, offering quick farewells to you and Heeseung. You smiled and nodded in return, though your thoughts were far from the work you were about to dive into.
Your mind kept drifting back to the dream throughout your entire work day. The memory of it made your cheeks flush even now, hours later. It wasn’t just the vividness of the dream that lingered—it was the way it had sparked something new in you. You stole a glance at him, wondering if he could sense the awkwardness you felt or if you were giving away too much with your lingering looks.
But Heeseung was as calm and composed as ever. He leaned casually against his desk, his posture relaxed as he chatted with a colleague. His voice was smooth, his expression unreadable, revealing nothing of what might be going on in his mind. If he had any idea about the dream that had shaken you, he didn’t show it. Yet, beneath your nerves, there was a strange, new pull toward him—something the dream had awakened.
"Ready to get started?" His voice was steady, and confident, as he approached you.
"Yeah, let’s do this," you replied, hoping your own voice didn’t betray the nervousness you felt.
As you settled into the now-empty office, the silence between you and Heeseung stretched, filled only by the quiet clicking of keyboards and the distant sounds of the city outside. You tried to focus on the work at hand, but your thoughts kept straying back to the dream—how real it had felt, how much it had affected you. More than anything, you were startled by how much you had enjoyed it, and how much it had made you see Heeseung in a different light.
Every time you glanced at him, you couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking, but he gave nothing away. His movements were fluid and assured, his focus seemingly unshakeable. He occasionally offered you a small, reassuring smile, as if everything was perfectly normal. But there was a newfound awareness in the air, something unspoken yet undeniably present.
But beneath that calm exterior, Heeseung was battling thoughts he couldn’t shake. The dream he’d had the night before was still fresh in his mind—an unexpected and vivid encounter with you that left him feeling uneasy. Despite the unease, he couldn’t deny that the dream had enticed him. It had stirred something within him that he hadn’t anticipated—a secret attraction he now found himself struggling to ignore.
Still, Heeseung was an expert at keeping his emotions in check. His demeanor remained collected, his focus on the task at hand. He wouldn’t let a stray dream affect his professionalism. But as the night wore on, the guilt started fading away and the attraction mixed with his own selfish desires lingered.
“Do you have the financial report for Q1?” Heeseung’s voice broke through the silence, his eyes scanning the documents in front of him, as if drowning himself in numbers could chase away the thoughts that kept resurfacing. You had the report he’d requested right in front of you, but every time he spoke, it felt like your brain was short-circuiting. You stared at the title on the report, trying to focus on anything other than the remnants of the dream that refused to leave your mind.
“Yeah, sorry,” you mumbled, passing him the stapled papers. You attempted to refocus on your own work, your fingers tapping across the keyboard, but your eyes kept drifting back to Heeseung—the way he bit his bottom lip when he was deep in thought, the way his eyes narrowed as he concentrated, and then there was the wedding band he kept twisting around his ring finger.
It was shameful, you knew, to be thinking like this about a colleague, especially a married one.
But Heeseung’s thoughts weren’t much different from your own. It was shameful for him to be stealing glances at you when he thought you weren’t looking, his thoughts drifting back to the dream he couldn’t shake. He prided himself on his self-control, on resisting temptation, but as he watched you from across the desk, the memory of that godforsaken dream kept creeping back. His gaze flickered briefly to the hallway, where the boardroom from his dream lay just out of sight.
“Have you ever dreamt about work?” Heeseung asked suddenly, the question slipping out before he could think better of it. It was a risky move, bringing up his dream of all things, but something compelled him to broach the topic. He wasn’t sure what he hoped to achieve by mentioning it—it wasn’t as though he could come right out and say what was really on his mind.
The question caught you off guard, leaving you momentarily frozen. Why would he bring up dreams right now of all times?
“Yeah… last night, actually.” You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks as you responded, your fingers pausing their movement on the keyboard. “But I can’t really remember what it was about.”
Like Heeseung, you felt an inexplicable urge to keep the conversation going, as if talking about it might somehow dissolve the tension in the air. Maybe if you opened the door to the subject, it would help you forget the dream altogether. But as the images of the dream grew sharper in your mind, you felt the familiar pull of desire gnawing at you. “Me too, actually… something to do with the boardroom.”
Your mind raced as Heeseung spoke. Had you accidentally said something? Had someone somehow found out about your dream? You knew it was impossible. You hadn’t told a soul, and you were certain you hadn’t slipped up. Yet, it felt like he was reading your thoughts, like he knew exactly what was tormenting you. Anxiety twisted in your chest, but it was mixed with an unexpected surge of adrenaline, making your pulse quicken.
In Heeseung’s mind, a similar conflict was raging. The thought of his wife, once a grounding presence, had faded into the background. He’d worked alongside you for years, and though he’d always harbored a subtle, unspoken attraction, he had never let it show. The atmosphere was thick with unspoken tension, making it feel as if you were strangers who had only just met each other.
Heeseung knew he was venturing into dangerous territory. He was fully aware of the risks, of the line he was dangerously close to crossing. He’d always prided himself on his self-control, on keeping his professional and personal lives separate. But the curiosity, the temptation, was growing too strong to ignore. “Remember when we first started?” he began, his voice taking on a nostalgic tone. “We were chasing clients like crazy, spending nearly every day and night in this office drafting proposals.”
“Of course I remember,” you replied, a small, almost forced laugh escaping your lips. “Your wife saw me as a threat because she thought you wanted me,” you added, trying to keep the mood light, though inside you winced at the mention of his partner. It was a clumsy attempt to deflect the rising tension, but it only made the air between you feel even heavier.
Heeseung’s eyes darkened, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. He knew he shouldn’t make an advancement towards you. But it’s like he had lost all control of himself. “Aren’t you though?” he asked, his voice low and measured, each word carrying a weight that hung between you. The question took you by surprise, leaving you momentarily speechless as a jolt of unease settled in your stomach. What could he possibly mean by that?
“W-what are you talking about?” you stammered, hating the way your voice faltered. You mentally cursed yourself for letting your nerves show, for giving him a glimpse of just how much his words had affected you. The tension in the room was palpable now, thick and suffocating. It was as if the long hours of work and accumulated stress had cracked open something between you, something neither of you were fully prepared to face. Yet, there was no denying the undercurrent of desire that had been simmering beneath the surface, threatening to boil over.
Heeseung leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper that sent a thrill through you. “Are you sure you don’t remember what the dream was about?” His chair inched closer, closing the distance between you, his eyes never leaving yours. They were searching, probing, as if trying to unlock the secrets you were so desperately trying to keep hidden. Your heart pounded in your chest, the room suddenly feeling too small, too intimate.
“Because ever since I woke up from my dream… God, I’ve wanted to go back to it over and over. I haven’t wanted something this badly since—”
“The Decelis deal,” you interrupted, finishing his sentence with a voice steadier than you felt. The words tumbled out before you could stop them, and for a moment, silence filled the space between you. When your eyes finally met his, you saw the recognition in his gaze, the silent confirmation that your worst fears were true. Every piece of the puzzle clicked into place, and with it, the undeniable truth: Heeseung had the same dream. The realization sent a shockwave through you, leaving you breathless and reeling.
Time seemed to stretch endlessly as you stared into Heeseung’s eyes, the unspoken truth hanging heavy in the air between you. The world outside your small bubble ceased to exist—the office, your responsibilities, and even the boundaries that had once kept you in check all faded into the background. It was just the two of you, standing on the line of something dangerous, something that could change everything. The tension was unbearable, and yet, neither of you moved, neither of you willing to be the first to break the fragile silence.
But then, as if drawn by an invisible force, Heeseung leaned in, his eyes never leaving yours. The space between you seemed to vanish in an instant, and before you could fully process what was happening, his lips were on yours.
The kiss was tentative at first, as though he was giving you a chance to pull away, to stop this before it went too far. But when you didn’t, when you instead leaned into him, his hesitation vanished. Heeseung’s hand cupped the back of your neck, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss until it was all-consuming.
You melted into him, your body responding instinctively, as though this was what it had been waiting for all along. The kiss was everything you hadn’t known you needed—intense, overwhelming, and utterly perfect. It was nothing like the dream; it was better. So much better. The reality of it, the warmth of his lips, the way he tasted, the way his body pressed against yours, all of it was far more intoxicating than anything your mind could have conjured up while you slept.
Without breaking the kiss, Heeseung’s hands moved to your waist, gripping you firmly as he tugged you from your chair onto his lap. The sudden shift made your breath catch, your legs straddling him as he pulled you even closer. The feel of his body beneath you, strong and solid, sent a jolt of electricity through you, heightening the intensity of the moment.
Your hands rested on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath the fabric of his shirt. Heeseung groaned softly against your lips, the sound vibrating through you, igniting a fire that burned hotter than anything you’d felt before. Every thought of professionalism, of the consequences, of his marriage, vanished as you lost yourself in the moment.
The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent, as though you were both trying to make up for lost time, for the months, years even, of holding back. There was no more room for restraint, only the overwhelming need to be closer, to feel more. The way you fit together felt natural, as though you’d been doing this for years, and yet, it was all new, exhilarating in a way that left you dizzy and craving more.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting together as you tried to steady your racing hearts. The room was still spinning, the weight of what had just happened starting to settle in, but neither of you spoke. Words felt unnecessary, trivial even, compared to what you had just shared.
All you could think about was how right it had felt, how much better this was than any dream. The reality of Heeseung’s touch, his kiss, was more than you had ever imagined it could be, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you had ever gone so long without it.
Heeseung’s eyes met yours again, and this time, there was no confusion, no hesitation. Just a mutual understanding, a shared acknowledgment of what you both wanted, and a silent agreement that this was only the beginning.
Your need for more was undeniable as you leaned in, eager to reconnect your lips with his. The kiss was charged with desire, a release of the pent-up tension that had been simmering all day. As your lips moved against Heeseung’s, you could barely contain yourself. “I want you so bad,” you whispered, your voice trembling with need. His eyes fluttered open at your words, and you could feel the effect they had on him, the tension in his dress pants growing as you straddled him.
“Just one kiss and you’re already acting like a desperate slut for me?” Heeseung’s voice was low, teasing, as a smirk tugged at his lips. His hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin with a tenderness that contrasted the roughness of his words. The contrast sent a thrill through you, and you found yourself nodding slowly, acknowledging the desire he had ignited deep within you.
“Please, Seung, I need you.” Your plea was all the encouragement he needed. In one swift motion, he hooked his hands under your thighs and lifted you effortlessly as he stood. He carried you across the room, your heart racing as he moved towards the boardroom—the very place that had been haunting both of your dreams all day. “Oh, baby… don’t worry. I’ll give you what you need,” he murmured, his voice a promise that sent a shiver down your spine.
As soon as you entered the room, Heeseung set you down on the polished wooden surface of the table, his hands sliding from under your thighs to your waist. His movements were deliberate, slow, as he began to unbutton your waistcoat. He knew exactly what he was doing, taking his time as if savoring every second. His smirk only widened as he watched your patience wear thin, your hands moving to help him, pulling off the waistcoat and then your shirt, tossing them both aside in your haste.
Heeseung’s amusement was evident, but there was a hunger in his eyes as he took in your eagerness. Even as your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, your desperation to feel his skin against yours was clear. His shirt soon joined yours on the floor, leaving the two of you exposed, the intensity of the moment amplified by the shared vulnerability. “God, you’re perfect,” Heeseung whispered, his voice filled with genuine admiration as his hand came up to cup one of your breasts through your bra.
He leaned in again, capturing your lips in a kiss that was different from the others. This one was unhurried, sensual, a deep connection that sealed the unspoken bond between you. “I think I need to show you just how perfect you are,” he mumbled against your lips, his breath warm and intoxicating. You nodded frantically, the anticipation almost too much to bear as he gently guided you down onto your back.
The cool surface of the table met your skin, sending a shiver through you as Heeseung’s fingers deftly worked at the waistband of your dress pants. He took his time, slowly undoing the button and zipper, his eyes never leaving yours as he slid the fabric down your legs. Heeseung was in no hurry; he was savoring every moment, every inch of your skin that was revealed to him.
Heeseung was on cloud nine, his desire for you overwhelming. He had never felt anything like this before, not even with his wife. It was as if his entire world had shifted, and now, all that mattered was you.
He leaned over your body, pressing a trail of kisses along your stomach, each one setting your nerves alight. As he worked his way down, his lips reached the edge of your panties. With a playful glint in his eye, he bit onto the delicate fabric, dragging it down to your knees, his gaze locked on yours the entire time.
Heeseung was like something out of your deepest fantasies, a vision that put every other experience to shame. Even the simple act of undressing you felt charged with an intoxicating sensuality. Before you could fully process it, Heeseung’s lips brushed against your clit, a light, teasing kiss that sent a jolt of pleasure through you, making your breath hitch.
Heeseung’s lips hovered just above your clit, his warm breath ghosting over your sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine. The anticipation was maddening, the tension in your body coiling tighter with each passing second. Heeseung was teasing you, savoring the moment as his eyes stayed locked on yours, filled with an intense hunger that made your pulse race.
Slowly, he dipped his head, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your clit. The sensation was electric, sending a shockwave through your entire body. A soft gasp escaped your lips, your back arching slightly off the wooden surface in response. Heeseung smirked against you, clearly enjoying the effect he had on you.
Without warning, his tongue flicked out, tracing a slow, deliberate circle around your clit. The pressure was just right, enough to make you moan, your hands instinctively reaching down to grip the edge of the table. Heeseung’s hands gripped your hips, holding you steady as he continued his slow, torturous assault on your clit, each stroke of his tongue pushing you closer to the edge.
Heeseung didn’t let up, his tongue moving with purpose now, alternating between soft flicks and gentle sucks, pulling more desperate sounds from you. Your mind was a haze of pleasure, every coherent thought melting away as Heeseung worked you over with an expertise that left you breathless.
You could feel the pressure building in your core, the coil tightening with each skilled movement of his tongue. “Heeseung…” You breathed out his name, the sound trembling on your lips. Heeseung hummed against you in response, the vibration sending another wave of pleasure through you, pushing you even closer to your peak.
Your hands found their way to his hair, tangling in the soft strands as you tried to ground yourself. Heeseung’s mouth was relentless, focused entirely on bringing you to the brink of ecstasy. His tongue moved faster now, flicking against your clit with just the right amount of pressure, driving you wild.
You could feel the orgasm building, threatening to crash over you at any moment. Your thighs trembled, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps as you teetered on the edge. “Please… don’t stop,” you managed to choke out, your voice thick with desperation. Heeseung only responded by doubling down, sucking hard on your clit and flicking his tongue with precision, pushing you over the edge.
The orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, ripping through your body with an intensity that left you breathless. Your back arched off the table, a strangled moan escaping your lips as the pleasure overwhelmed you. Heeseung didn’t stop, his tongue continuing to work you through your high, milking every last drop of pleasure from you.
You were completely undone, every muscle in your body trembling as the aftershocks of the orgasm washed over you. Heeseung finally pulled back, his lips glistening as he looked up at you, a satisfied smile on his face. You were still trying to catch your breath, your mind reeling from the intensity of it all.
Heeseung wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes never leaving yours as he stood up, towering over you. “You taste even better than I imagined,” he murmured, his voice low and husky. His words sent another shiver down your spine, your body still buzzing from the afterglow.
You could barely form a response, your body still trembling with the remnants of your orgasm. But the look in Heeseung’s eyes told you that this was far from over. Heeseung reached down, his fingers trailing over your skin as he slowly leaned in, capturing your lips in another searing kiss.
This time, you could taste yourself on his lips, a reminder of what he had just done to you. The kiss was slow and sensual, a stark contrast to the intensity of what had just happened. It was like he was savoring you, drawing out every moment, every sensation.
When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, both of you breathing heavily. “I’m not done with you yet,” he whispered, his voice sending a thrill through you. And with that, he leaned in to claim your lips once more, as if to prove that he was just getting started.
Your body was still trembling from the waves of pleasure that had just surged through you, but the desire to taste Heeseung was overwhelming. With what little strength you had left, you slid off the table, your knees sinking into the plush carpet as you gazed up at him with a mix of determination and innocence. Reaching up, your hand found its way to Heeseung's bulge, massaging him through his pants. The sensation drew a hiss from him, his breath catching in his throat.
"Are you just going to tease me, or are you going to put that mouth to good use?" Heeseung's voice was laced with frustration, his hands slamming onto the table with a resonating thud that echoed through the empty boardroom. His tone was a mix of command and need, driving you to act.
You eagerly undid the button and zipper of his dress pants, pulling them down to his ankles. With a quick, practiced motion, you slipped his boxers down as well, revealing him in all his glory. Your eyes widened at the sight—he was more than you had anticipated. The shock of his size was clear on your face, and Heeseung noticed. A satisfied smirk spread across his face as he took in your reaction.
"Like what you see, baby? Think you can handle all of it?" His taunting words were delivered with a growl, a playful challenge that only fueled your eagerness.
You leaned in, your lips, still tingling from earlier kisses, wrapped around the tip of his cock. The initial contact made Heeseung curse under his breath, a sound of relief escaping him. His hand found your hair, tangling in it to guide you as he pushed more of himself into your mouth. "Fuck, your mouth feels incredible. I could have you under my desk all day."
His grip tightened in your hair, and you began to bob your head, taking more of him in with each movement. The room was filled with the sounds of your efforts, the slick, rhythmic motion of your mouth against him, and Heeseung’s growing groans of pleasure. He thrust forward to meet your rhythm, his tip hitting the back of your throat with each push. The gagging only seemed to spur him on, his moans growing louder and more desperate.
"You're taking me so well," he panted, his voice a mix of praise and primal need. "Should have fucked this mouth sooner." His thrusts grew more urgent, faster, as he chased his climax.
"You're such a pathetic little slut for me, aren’t you?" Heeseung’s words were a mixture of praise and degradation, his control slipping as he neared the edge. His moans were uncontrollable now, his breathing ragged as he felt his orgasm building.
With one final, hard thrust, Heeseung’s release hit him like a tidal wave. His head fell back, eyes rolling, as ropes of cum shot down your throat. Heeseung’s moans filled the room, each sound a testament to the intense pleasure you had given him. The culmination of his desire left him breathless, and he marveled at the unparalleled pleasure you had delivered.
The two of you lingered in the aftermath, bodies spent yet neither willing to let go of the moment. Heeseung helped you to your feet, guiding you back onto the table with a gentleness that contrasted the intensity of just moments before. "Heeseung..." you breathed out, your voice trembling as your eyes locked with his. Without hesitation, you wrapped your legs around his hips, drawing him closer until you could feel the heated press of his bare cock against your slick entrance, the sensation pulling a needy whimper from your throat.
"I know, baby..." Heeseung’s voice was low, thick with desire as he seemed to read your thoughts. He knew exactly what you wanted because it mirrored his own need. His hand slid down between your bodies, gripping the base of his cock before slowly dragging the tip along your wet folds. The anticipation built as he nudged at your entrance, teasing you before finally pushing in, inch by agonizing inch.
Both of you moaned as he stretched you out, your body adjusting to accommodate him. You sat up just enough to reach behind you, swiftly unclasping your bra and tossing it aside, not caring where it landed. All that mattered was him. "God, you’re so tight," Heeseung hissed through clenched teeth, his hands gripping your hips to steady you both as he bottomed out inside you.
Once he was fully sheathed, Heeseung pulled back, only to slam his hips forward in a series of hard, deliberate thrusts. The raw intensity of the pleasure caught you off guard, the sensation so overwhelming, so perfectly right. "This pussy was made for me," he groaned, his words echoing in the air as your bodies moved together, fitting like two pieces of a long-missing puzzle. "Mmph... Seungie, you feel so good..." you moaned, your voice breaking as he set a relentless pace.
Heeseung’s thrusts were timed to perfection, each one hitting deeper than the last, sending shockwaves of pleasure through you. His hand slid up your body, wrapping firmly around your neck as he continued to pound into you. "This is so much better than the dream," you gasped, your fingers curling around his wrist as his grip tightened, the pressure adding another layer to the overwhelming sensations.
"We should’ve done this sooner," Heeseung growled, his voice strained with the effort to hold back his release. "Could’ve had you taking my cock all day... God, you feel so perfect." His words hit you like a bolt of electricity, igniting a blush that spread across your cheeks. He tugged your body closer to the edge of the table, his cock driving deeper, brushing against your cervix with every thrust. "Fuck, I’m already so close..." he groaned, biting down on his lip as his movements grew more desperate.
Your moans echoed through the boardroom, loud and unrestrained as you met each of his thrusts with a roll of your hips. "Cum in me, Heeseung... please, I want to be filled with your cum," you cried out, your voice laced with need as you pleaded with him. "Yeah? You want me to breed this little pussy? Want everyone to know who you belong to?" Heeseung’s free hand slid down to your clit, his fingers stroking in time with his thrusts as he watched you unravel beneath him.
The tension coiled tightly in your core, your orgasm building with every passing second. Heeseung could feel the way your walls clenched around him, your body trembling as you edged closer to release. "Fuck, you’re squeezing me so... ah—fuck!" Heeseung’s sentence trailed off, his mind going blank as the sensation overwhelmed him. It was as if you had trapped him, and he was helpless to resist.
"Hee... Please... please, I need to cum," you begged, your legs shaking around his waist as you teetered on the brink. Heeseung gave you a nod, and that was all you needed to finally let go. Your orgasm hit like a tidal wave, your body tensing around his cock as you came hard, screaming his name as the pleasure tore through you. Sweat beaded on your forehead as you cried out for him, lost in the ecstasy of the moment.
The tight squeeze of your pussy was all it took to push Heeseung over the edge. With a final, powerful thrust, he buried himself deep inside you, his grip on your neck tightening as he emptied himself into you, his release spilling out in hot, thick waves. "Fuck... Y/N. Oh fuck, baby," he groaned, his voice raw as his orgasm crashed over him, leaving him breathless and spent.
As his grip on your neck loosened, Heeseung leaned down, resting his head on your chest as he caught his breath. Instinctively, your hands tangled in his hair, soothing him as he pressed soft kisses along your exposed skin. Slowly, Heeseung withdrew, his cock slipping out of you as he stood upright, his eyes fixed on the sight of his cum beginning to spill from your still-sensitive entrance. With a smirk, he pushed two fingers inside you, gathering the leaking cum and pressing it back into your body. "Can’t have you wasting this, can we?" he murmured, his tone teasing.
Even now, after everything, he couldn’t resist taunting you. A small smile tugged at your lips as you nodded, too blissed out to form a coherent response. Heeseung pulled his boxers back up, his touch gentle as he fetched your discarded panties and slipped them back onto your legs. His movements were tender, a stark contrast to the intensity of what had just transpired.
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
It wasn’t long before the two of you were fully dressed again, returning to your shared workstation and attempting to pick up where you left off. The air was still charged with the lingering heat of your earlier encounter, making it nearly impossible to focus. Every few minutes, your eyes would meet, and before you knew it, you'd be exchanging soft, lingering kisses. Heeseung was completely lost in you, every touch, every glance fueling the connection between you both. But there was a shadow that loomed over this moment, a problem neither of you could ignore—his wife.
By the time the clock ticked past 5:00 a.m., the final proposal was submitted to your boss, setting him up for the client meeting later that day. You both knew you’d be fast asleep by then, but it didn’t matter. The work was done, and it was the least of your concerns now. Like the gentleman he prided himself on being, Heeseung insisted on walking you to your car. As you reached the driver's side door, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a string of gentle, lingering kisses that made your heart race.
"Seung... will this be the last time we’re... like this?" you asked softly, nibbling on your bottom lip. The question hung heavy in the air, your nerves betraying your calm exterior. You knew the reality—you were standing on the precipice of something forbidden, something beautiful, but he was still married.
Heeseung’s gaze softened as he cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing tenderly against your skin. "I’ll handle it," he murmured, his voice steady and sure. He knew exactly what you were asking, and more importantly, he knew what he had to do. "I think a part of me has always wanted this... I don’t want to let it go." His words were whispered against your lips before he kissed you once more, a kiss that felt like both a promise and a plea.
You nodded, your heart swelling with hope and fear as you reciprocated the kiss, pulling away reluctantly to slide into the driver’s seat. "Text me when you get home, yeah?" he asked, a small, genuine smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
You returned his smile, nodding as you backed out of the parking spot and drove away. Heeseung stood there, watching until your car disappeared from view, the warmth of his feelings for you burning brightly in his chest. It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in years, something that chipped away at the walls he had built around his heart, leaving him with a smile that he couldn’t seem to shake.
But as he returned to his own home, the smile slowly faded. The scent of freshly brewed coffee greeted him, and the faint clinking of dishes could be heard from the kitchen. "I’m home," he called out, his voice a bit flat as he walked into the kitchen. His wife was there, tidying up, just as she always was. Heeseung grabbed a mug, pouring himself some coffee before settling at the kitchen table. The silence that followed was heavy, the kind that wraps itself around you and makes it hard to breathe.
Finally, his wife spoke up, her voice cutting through the stillness. "How was your night, honey?"
Heeseung stared into his coffee, the steam rising in lazy spirals as his thoughts drifted back to you. He couldn’t answer honestly, couldn’t bring himself to tell her that he had spent the night consumed by thoughts of someone else. His gaze lifted, taking in the life they had built together—the home, the routines, the familiar comfort that had long since faded into dissatisfaction. And then, like a beacon in the dark, thoughts of you took hold, the possibilities of what you could build together seizing his mind.
His wife’s voice cut through his thoughts again, a touch of concern lacing her words. "I said, how was your night... did you finish that project, sweetheart?"
Heeseung met her eyes, the blank expression on his face revealing nothing of the storm brewing inside. There was no internal debate, no hesitation left in him. The answer was clear.
"I want a divorce."
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
taglist ; @aetherl0l (happy birthday!!) @llvrhee @yohanabanana @rayofsunshineeee @mitmit01 @heartheejake @melonvrs @shanb1n @jakeyismine @yunhoswrldddd @jinspinkflipphone @woorcve
authors note ; thank you everyone so much for all the love you gave the teaser! I hope you really enjoy the finished product, I spent so long trying to make sure it was perfect for you all! I look forward to producing more works for everyone!
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lillypad910 · 28 days ago
Text
Pretty Girl
Mechanic! Eddie Munson x Chubby! f! Reader
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! Smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, piv, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), bit of fluff, giggly couple, reader is a bit self conscious about her body, Eddie is down BAD. Not pre-read, might have errors
Summary: A shopping trip with Nancy and Robin have you going home with your first set of lingerie. You put it on to surprise your boyfriend when he gets home. Things lead exactly where you wanted.
A/n: This is oddly cute.
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You had gone to the mall that week with Robin and Nancy, just doing a normal shopping spree for some new clothes for the season. But then you passed that certain store.
The mannequin bodies sit on the shelves, underwear and lingerie decorating them and the surfaces around them. Nancy walks in first, her attention gravitating to one of the tables. Robin awkwardly follows after. You stand in the door frame for a minute before slowly stepping towards your friends.
“This one’s cute.” Nancy lifts a simple white set, lacy and frilly, smirking as she holds it up to your bigger body.
“You’d look cute in it! Eddie would loose his mind,” Robin comments.
“I…” you hesitate, taking the set into your hands, “I’ve never worn lingerie before…”
Nancy smiles at you, “Well, there is no time to start like the present!”
They shove you into a dressing room, and standing just outside, they wait for you to try it on. You look at yourself in the floor-length mirror, subconsciously raising your arms over your exposed chubby stomach. You thought it was a cute little get-up, but if it was cute on you, you couldn’t tell.
You open the door to the dressing room, giving them a shy smile but not looking at their faces. Robin audibly aw’s, “You look so cute!” She pushes you into the dressing room, pulling Nancy in with her, shutting the door once again. Her hands place on your waist, grazing her fingers over the bits of fabric that squeeze around your stomach.
“It fits you nicely! You look beautiful. Eddie won’t know what hit him!” Nancy smiles at you as Robin practically feels you up.
“Shit if he’s not down, I am.” “Robin!!” You smack her on her arm making her laugh.
“No, but seriously, you look great. You should buy it!” You look at yourself again. You know Eddie would like it, the lace and ribbons giving him something to mess with while he has you on his lap, fucking into you until you’re a whimpering-
“(Y/n)?” Nancy’s voice drags you out of the thought.
“Yeah?”
“Buy it.”
“Ok…”
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You stand in Eddie’s trailer, the lingerie now on your body once again. Robin told you to wear it for when he gets home.
“Surprise him with a treat.” She had said.
You look at yourself once more, feeling a little silly with how dolled up you got. If this goes to plan, your makeup with be ruined before long.
You hear the gravel outside the trailer, then a car turning off, and a door shutting. You know it’s not Wayne, knowing he already left for a shift tonight when you got here. You step out into the doorway of Eddie’s room, trying to cutely half-hide yourself behind the door. The front door opens, your lanky boyfriend stepping into the home, throwing his keys into the dish on a table. He shuts it, locking it before turning around. His overalls in his hands from work, oil still on his hands and t-shirt from his mechanic job.
“Welcome home, Eds, how was work?” You step out a bit farther, noticing him stepping closer to the kitchen without looking up.
“Hey, Doll, it was good.” He washes his hands in the kitchen sink, before grabbing some mail off the counter. You hesitate before stepping out, standing in the archway into the kitchen and staring at him. “How was your day, Sweetheart-“ his head looks up as he spoke, immediately his whole body freezing when he sees you.
He drops the mail back on the counter, suddenly not interested in the check that was there for him.
“I bought it today, I hope it- Eds!” Before you can finish your sentence, you’re scooped up into his arms and thrown over his shoulder. “Eddie Munson, put me down!” You hit at his back, only to yelp when a hard smack hits your very exposed ass.
You watch as you both enter the doorframe to his room, before being thrown down on the bed. “Eds-“ his lips meet yours, crawling himself up onto the bed, his hands gliding up from your ankles to your thighs.
“You can’t just wear this get-up and not expect me to have fun, Doll.” His voice makes you blush. Your thighs try to press together but he slots himself in between them before you can.
“Look at you, Baby girl… All this just for me?” He leans close to you, grazing his fingers over the garters on your thighs. “So pretty for me.” He nuzzled his nose into your cheek, pressing his chest against yours.
“Eddie, your clothes are all dirty.” You let out a soft giggle, feeling him nuzzle into your neck and leaving soft kisses in his wake.
“That can be easily remedied...” He quickly pulls away. He sits up on his knees yanking his shirt over his head and quickly shaking off his pants. You giggle as you watch him struggling to kick his jeans off his foot. “There.” He leans back in immediately catching your lips with his, kissing you with such love you feel yourself melting into his touch.
“Eddie,” you say his name softly in a small break he gives you in between kisses.
“Hmm?” He moves his lips across your jaw, slowly kissing down your neck.
“Eddie, you’re being really sweet, but I wore this for a reason.” You lean into him a little, trying to get him to act rather than just kiss you. A soft moan leaves him and you feel his hand squeeze at your hip, tangling his finger in the side of your panties.
“I know… I’m working on it… gotta make sure my girl knows… I appreciate her efforts” his sentence is broken between kisses, “Now, relax and let me worship my pretty girl.” He kisses your lips one more time before gliding his fingers towards your core, pressing his digits softly into the fabric to tease you.
“Eddie…” you moan out his name as his kisses down your chest, one hand pressing his fingers into you through the fabric, the other gliding over the lacy bra of the lingerie. His hand removes from your body, making you whimper a bit before they grip at your thighs and lay you down onto your back, your legs now up by his waist.
“So beautiful, gonna make you feel so good, Sweetheart.” You moan as his hands pull at the ribbons on the sides of the waist band, untying it from your body. "Too bad this doesn’t have a hole for me, remind me to make one later, but for now,” he pulls down the panties, removing them from you.
He lowers down, spreading your legs wider as he kisses down your stomach.
“Eddie…!” You gasp as he buries his nose into your cunt. You buck your hips up, nudging his face to get more into you, and he doesn't complain.
Eddie does his damn best eating out your pussy, lapping up everything you give him. He grips at your thighs, digging his fingers into the skin, massaging his thumbs into the fat. You can't help but moan, reaching for him and grabing at those gorgeous curls, raking your nails on his scalp. The action earns a soft groan, and you watch as his hips buck into the mattress.
"God, so good, Eddie." You barely can get out the phrase, trying to focus on his tongue as it swirls over your clit. He burries his face more making you giggle.
Fuck, Eddie loves your pussy.
"Eds," You groan out, pulling a bit more at his hair, causing his mouth to separate from you.
"Hmm?" He hums at you, looking over that blissed out expression you have. God, what he'd do to make you look like that all day. "What is it, Sweetheart...?" He moves one hand to the place you want him most, running his fingers through your slit.
"Is this what you want?" He asks, his cheeks flushing at his own words as he slowly inserts a finger into you, "Hmm? You want my fingers in you?" You let out a soft whimper as his fingers curl inside you, lightly thrusting in and out.
He moves his fingers in and out of you slowly, gaining lovely moans and groans from you. Eddie loves hearing you moan, loves watching you get off on his fingers.
"So good, Eds," You mumble, watching as his head lowers once more to suck on your clit. Fuck.
He looks at you with such love, his pupils blown as he fingers you, loving the noises you make for him.
"Shit, Eds. I'm gonna-" You grip the sheets under you, feeling your legs starting to shake as you are oh so close to coming undone on his fingers. Eddie pulls away just before you can go over the edge, lifing up onto his hands and crawling over you, giving you a soft kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on him, that slightly salty taste that he loves so much.
"Can I...? Please?" Eddie looks at you pleadingly, placing his hips perfectly between your thighs, grinding himself against your soak cunt. "Babe, please..." He's so needy.
"Of course, Eds." You give him another kiss, pulling your hands up to wrap around the back of his neck, holdin him close to you. You spread your legs further, allowing his cock to have better access to you.
Eddie whimpers, feeling his swollen tip brush against you, he reaches down, grabbing the base of his cock. "I need you so bad, Sweetheart... God, been thinking about this all day." He slowly pushes himself inside you, both of you moaning as his cock buries into you. "Fuck."
"Yeah?" You look up at him, watching as he stares down at where you are now connected. "That good?" Eddie looks up at you, a smile on his face as he lets out a soft laugh.
"Better. So much better." He gives you a soft kiss, repositioning himself so your legs are closer to his hips, letting him push just a bit deeper.
"Eddie..." You moan out his name, feeling his cock twitch inside you as a response.
"Are you good?" He asks, obviously joking a bit. "You look a bit blissed there."
"I'm good, I'm good..." You mumble, leaning into his shoulder a bit. "You can move, Eds."
Eddie takes no time with that, slowly dragging his hips back before sinking them back into you, earing the most beautiful moan from you. He keep it nice and slow, enjoying the feeling of your cunt clenching around him.
"Oh fuck..." You focus on the feeling of his cock pushing into you, feeling him hit deep with ever thrust.
"God, I love this pussy." Eddie chuckles a bit, gripping at your hips as he begins to speed up a bit.
"Yeah?"
"Oh yeah, you feel so good, Sweetheart." He groans as he nuzzles his face into your hair, letting the scent of your floral shampoo fill his nose. "So good."
You can't help but let out a soft giggle, but this just spurs him on, encouraging him to gain more force. "Oh-" You gasp as his cock hits that perfect spot, making your toes curl. "Shit, Eddie, right there."
"I know, Baby. Jesus, your squeezing me so hard when I hit there." His breath picks up with yours as his hips continue to move perfectly for that one place. Thrusting deep and good, over and over again.
It doesn't take long for you both to finish, it never does for you two.
You both lie there, your hearts racing at you giggle about it, Eddie snuggled into your neck. "I love you," Eddie nuzzles into your skin, leaving soft kisses on the serface of your shoulder.
"I love you."
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Tag list!
@cagethemunson
@spikeybatt
@cherrycolas-things
@r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e
@ali-r3n
@thepurplelovewitch
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planetsandstarsandstuff · 11 days ago
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Natal Chart Notes/Observations:
✽ Those with Venus in the 3H can be extremely sweet in the way they speak to others - these people are often very verbally affectionate, especially with those closest to them. Compliments from them can feel particularly validating.
✿ Cancer Moons tend to be babied a lot - people assuming they're more sensitive than they are, thinking their feelings need to be protected, etc. Their vulnerability is often exaggerated in the minds of others.
✽ Having Saturn or Mercury in/ruling the 2H can allow a person to detach from material possessions quite easily; they tend to approach this area of life with logic + practicality and are often able to throw items away with little hesitation (Mercury likely even more so than Saturn, as Saturn's rigidity can hold them back here.)
✿ 3H Neptune may be especially prone to dropping things.
✽ Those with Mercury in the 12H often struggle to turn their brain off; it can feel like there's constant chatter in their subconscious. This may also be true for those with Pisces Mercury, Neptune-Mercury aspects, and Neptune in the 3rd - no structure to keep racing thoughts contained.
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✿ Above is an excerpt from an interview with Joan Didion, who has her Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Venus in the 6H - keen awareness of how one spends their time, finding and creating beauty in the mundane, daily indulgence in life's pleasures. Those with 6H placements, when expressed at their best, are particularly good at remembering to live.
✽ 7H Suns are often such lovely people to engage with, they bring so much warmth and vitality to their interactions with others. Very friendly people who focus a lot of their energy on those around them.
✿ If you have any t-squares in your chart, look to the apex to see where you're likely to engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms in response to issues indicated by its two opposing houses. If the apex is in the 12th house, for example, this can look like isolating, excessive daydreaming, and possibly substance use. In the 7H this might look like codependence, in the 6H overworking, etc. The sign and planet should be considered as well.
(look to the opposing sign + house to find the qualities that likely need to be embraced.)
✽ Our 3H is how we speak, but our 2H is how our voice sounds - someone with a 3H Moon might speak with a soft inflection but if they have a 2H Mars, for example, the actual resonance of their voice may be quite loud or harsh. Princess Diana's Moon was in both her 2nd and 3rd house (looking at placidus + whole sign together) and she's famously very soft spoken - not only in expression, but also in the actual tone of her voice.
✿ Those with Chiron in the 1H are prone to viewing life through a negative lens, their pain informs their worldview more than most.
✽ Scorpio Venus/Pluto-Venus/Scorpio 5H love angst.
✿ Mercury-Venus aspects can indicate having a very classically beautiful voice. Jonathan Groff, who has Mercury exactly conjunct Venus, is a good example of this - under every interview I've seen of his are comments filled with people talking about how much they love his voice - not only his singing voice, but his normal speaking voice as well.
✽ Prominent 11H placements can attract an audience quite easily.
✿ Those with Jupiter-Mercury aspects tend to have a very funny way with words, something about the way they speak just tickles people. Ayo Edebiri, who has her Mercury sextile Jupiter, is a great example of this. Kate McKinnon as well (Mercury conjunct Jupiter). These individuals often have great comedic timing and aren't afraid to go big in order to get a laugh.
✽ Having Venus in or ruling the 4H can indicate a person being somewhat of a mediator within their family - always trying to keep the peace, encouraging family members to connect, etc. Family is very important to these people.
✿ 2H Moons love providing for others - cooking for people, gifting things, just generally making sure those around them are well taken care of. They'll do anything to bring comfort and safety to their loved ones, and often find a lot of emotional fulfillment in doing so.
✽ Capricorn Mars can be very presumptuous in that they think they're in charge everywhere they go. This can definitely get on people's nerves, but, in all fairness, if any placement deserves to be in charge it's probably this one - if nothing else, a cap mars knows how to get things done.
That's all, thanks for reading!
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xalygatorx · 13 days ago
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*cracks knuckles*
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"This." | Alastor x Reader, First Kiss
Summary: You convince your new(ish) partner, Alastor, to give kissing a try.
Warnings: None apart from the tiniest mention of a bloody lip. Just fluff that gets a little steamy at the end.
Word Count: 3.8k
A/N: Dedicated to @6esiree, her follower celebration challenge, and all the scrumptious stories she's crafted for us. x
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It had taken a little convincing on your part. After all, the idea of kissing wasn't romantic or enticing to everyone. In fact, when you broke down the actual mechanics of the thing, you had to agree that it was a bit bizarre.
In the end though, he'd agreed to humor you. At least that's what he'd said. But you could see it in your partner's eyes—he was curious.
And now you were sitting cross-legged on the Radio Demon's bed—a bed he'd only procured after you'd started seeing each other and his lone option to (politely) cohabitate with you came in the form of your suite, which had several tenants in the form of void-staring Squishmallows. Especially considering he often preferred to stay up and read while you slept, it was the one scenario in which he preferred not to have an audience.
The Radio Demon, himself, sat across from you, subconsciously mirroring your body language and awaiting your next move.
You couldn't help but think, as you studied him both recreationally and to look for any indications of discomfort, that your journey to this point had been almost comical in its unlikelihood.
At the base level, it made very little sense. After all, you were more like Vox in a lot of ways than you were like Alastor—tech-savvy, excited about new gadgets and caught up on the latest memes, and absolutely rife with Gen. Z slang. Angel had been certain after you'd arrived at the hotel and stuck around long enough to make a few friends that the second Alastor realized he not only wouldn't get your soul from you, but he'd also have to deal with your shenanigans on top of everyone else's, he might decide you'd look better flambéd with a side of rice.
He hadn't thought that though, apparently. And you'd absolutely annoyed each other at first, mostly for a misfire in communication due to your highly conflicting eras and expectations, but he'd admitted to you much later—after a courting proposal he'd had planned to the letter had still gone sideways anyway, again because of you (allegedly)—that this wasn't completely true. He found you annoying, yes—which was fine because he annoyed you sometimes, too—but part of that annoyance came from how utterly fascinating he found you, too.
Alastor, at his core, didn't subscribe to the idea that vulnerability was worth a damn in the grand scheme of things. He liked it in others—subservience from the masses and warm pink blushes from you—but he expected more from himself. Vulnerability equated to weakness and that was something no overlord could afford in his mind. So his immediate response to feeling anything on the softer side for you had at first been met with utmost resistance.
He'd tried ignoring you. Not only was he miserable for the duration of that due to missing you—a realization the Doomsday District had subsequently suffered for—but you drove him up the walls when your initial hurt at being shunned turned to unbridled annoyance and an ever-increasing demand for an explanation.
He'd tried "friendzoning" you. That had initially worked and then royally pissed you off when he used the actual term he'd apparently learned from Rosie a long time ago. You'd informed him with bared fangs and gusto that your friendship was not and never would be a consolation prize and stormed off to your suite. Then you'd ignored him—for four days precisely. When you'd finally given him the time of day, he'd shown up with an armful of apology gifts and a wobbly smile he'd never admitted to wearing since.
And then he'd just spent the next leg of knowing you very confused about why nothing he'd tried had worked and why you being upset with him upended his world so completely. You'd caught him lurking at the edge of gatherings, fully honed in on you with an intensity that felt like he might be dissecting you with his eyes. You'd thought he'd found another reason to be angry at you until he'd approached you a week later and admitted the complete opposite.
That, loath as he was to admit it, he was drawn to you and it was doing neither of you any favors for him to keep lying to himself.
And you'd realized in that moment, too, that part of why his "rejections" had made you so angry were because…well, you liked him, too.
Because, for as haughty and selfish as he was, he also took great pains to go out of his way for you. He looked at you like you were the only person in the room regardless of whether it was actually true. He was timeless in his strange, enigmatic way that was so very much, innately him. A way you'd come to like quite a lot. The bigger L-word was on the horizon, but you'd shelved that thought whenever it had arisen. Not only were you worried you'd scare him away, but you worried about spooking yourself, too.
Your focus pivoted as one of Alastor's ears flicked back, a silent subconscious display of his nerves. He was still watching you, measuring you with a look that managed to show his age and still look boyish simultaneously. His crimson eyes were open, flickering over your face with unease hidden behind a thin smile. When your pensive expression faltered into something affectionate, he huffed a little breath out that made his shoulders relax just the slightest bit.
"Well, dear?" Alastor wondered. His tone was just shy of a purr and you had a feeling he was trying to put up a bit more bravado than he currently felt in the face of something he wasn't as versed in. "You seemed quite intent earlier on getting me alone. Where's your moxie gone?"
"It's still around," you laughed. "Just a little nervous."
He blinked owlishly—these more vulnerable expressions were possibly the ones on him that you adored the most. The youth it smoothed over his sharp features almost made it possible to see what he'd looked like while alive. You would've never met him in life—decades on decades had ensured your separation—but it was a nice thought.
It would've had to have been in your time though. Even though he would've been miserable amidst all the swanky new tech (at least until you talked him into trying a podcast probably), you would've been more miserable trying to acclimate to the mold women were expected to fit in his era. You'd asked him once why he liked you, given just how different you were from what he'd likely grown up with, and after he'd finished laughing at your question, he'd just dropped a chaste kiss to your cheek and said he'd never been partial to dolls and found your spark far more entertaining.
"You are nervous?" Alastor asked, his smile wavering just slightly as he tilted his head. "What ever for?"
"Well, sweetheart, it's been a minute for me, too," you said with a helpless little shrug that made his features soften even as his frame seemed to tense again. "And, well, after asking you to humor me, I'd hate to mess it up."
Alastor scoffed a little and wordlessly turned one of his large, spidery hands palm-up to offer to you. Without hesitation, you took it in both of yours, running the pads of your fingertips over the ashen grooves and sharp points of his knuckles. You both watched your hands traverse his for a moment before he spoke again.
"…I must admit I wouldn't know if you did, cher."
It was your turn to look surprised. "If I did, what?" you asked, wondering if you'd been that distracted just by the opportunity to touch his hand or if there was something you'd yet to learn about him.
"If you…'messed up'," he said, borrowing your slang. The stiff, experimental way he said it made a bloom of warmth expand in your chest. How was such a feral, sadistic sort of demon so unbearably cute sometimes? You'd hardly wondered the question before his ears slowly swiveled to flatten against his hair, his smile wobbling again as he rolled his eyes away and sighed. "I expect, given our newfound partnership, I can anticipate a layer of confidentiality here tonight?"
You frowned. "If you're asking if you can trust me, the answer's yes," you murmured, mirroring his head's tilt with yours. "Is everything okay?"
Alastor smiled genuinely and gave your hand a light pat. "Just fine, darling," he said and you noticed his face looked a little flushed.
Had you ever seen him blush? God help you, now that you knew it was possible, you wanted to create that crimson hue on his cheeks as often as possible, he was precious!
"This is a first for me," Alastor finally said, sounding like he'd half-blurted it out just to get past his own pride or anxiety.
"Can you, uh, be a little more specific?" you asked, not wanting to embarrass him, but wanting to know what exactly he meant in case it changed your approach. You gently stroked his hand, hoping it came across as a soothing gesture. He could get grumpy in moments like this, taking comfort as coddling and acting all the more irritable for it after. "I'm just worried about overstepping, I'm not trying to wring anything out of you."
Alastor chuckled and shook his head. "No need to overexplain, dearest. I appreciate the attention to detail," he admitted, still choosing to stare down at your hands or the baseboard off to the side rather than meet your eyes. His ears hadn't yet lifted from their station against his head. "…Kissing. At least lips-to-lips. I never cared for the idea—I'm still not entirely sure I do now—and so I never entertained the practice."
You felt both blessed and terrified at once as you asked, "…You've never kissed anyone?"
Alastor's lip curled a little at your shock. "Please do refrain from making a scene over this," he requested with an exasperated huff.
"We don't have to try this, Al," you hastened to tell him, your fingers tightening around his hand but still leaving him room to pull away if he wanted to. He seemed to notice and the snarl in his smile smoothed away with a silent bit of gratitude. "If you're not interested, it's totally fine."
He gave you a skeptical look. "And you would simply abide by never kissing your beloved?" he asked, not sounding like he believed it a bit. "By feeling as though your partner does not want you?"
You pursed your lips—well, it stung a little when he put it like that, but that wasn't where your mind had gone. "Quit putting someone else's words in my mouth," you mumbled and that put a dash of chagrin on the Radio Demon's pinched expression. "I come from a much more flexible time than you do when it comes to this stuff. I knew you were ace before any of this, even before we became friends—"
"What now?"
You couldn't help a fond, breathy laugh. "Ace. Asexual," you elaborated. "Generally uninterested in sexual stuff, or at least not interested in the way most people are. It's normal. There's nothing wrong with that."
Alastor's ears flicked uncertainly. "I'm afraid I've garnered a much different perspective all these years," he said. "Which was perfectly fine until…well."
"It's still fine as long as we're happy," you said. "That's all there is to it."
"It sounds much easier than society made it seem in my lifetime," Alastor sighed, giving your hand another couple of pats. A silent thanks. His eyes narrowed an increment as he, at last, met your eyes again. There was no mistaking the warmth their vermillion glow sent through you. He studied you, that curiosity lingering, as he murmured, "I would still like to try. For you, dear."
You smiled. "Thanks," you said softly. "Just…no pressure, okay? We never have to do it again if you hate it or for any longer than you want to. I promise, now that I know to prepare myself, I won't be offended or hurt if you decide you don't like it."
That seemed to be the root of his unease and it made your heart give a squeeze. Evil as he liked to think he was and, in fairness, was to most, he had a soft spot for you. One you relished curling up in. One that already felt like home.
"This…stays between us regardless, yes?" Alastor murmured. "Not that it particularly matters in the grand scheme of things, but I have a grave feeling that this is something that idiotic picture box would never let go if he caught wind of it. I loathe the idea of simply offering ammunition on a platter."
"It stays right here," you promised. "Just with us."
Alastor hummed his approval and adjusted his sitting position on the mattress. "Lovely. Now…how do we go about this?" he asked, businesslike in a way that was almost comical. It was all you could do not to laugh lest he take it the wrong way in this moment where he didn't have the upper hand.
And, to be honest, his question was valid even if it did seem a bit silly. You'd never done this with someone before. Teaching someone how to kiss felt like such a momentous occasion. What if you were a bad kisser and you'd just never known because what was the gold standard for kissing?! Of course there were do's and don't's and cardinal sins, but…what made a kiss good?
You weren't sure, but you wanted his first one to be good. Perfect even, if you could manage it.
"Well," you said thoughtfully, giving your lips a nervous lick. You blushed when you saw his eyes drop down and follow the pink tip of your tongue along the seam of your mouth. You had his attention at least. "You've kissed my cheek. You can kiss someone's lips that way too. So let's just start with that."
Alastor's ears finally perked back up. "Simple enough!" he declared, seeming pleased that he wasn't being offered the deep end before being sure he could swim. "Well then…shall we?"
You smirked and shuffled a little closer, giving his hand a squeeze before letting it go to cautiously cup his cheeks. "Remember…at any point, if you want to stop—"
"I will say something, my dear," Alastor said, his ears flicking back again as his confidence faltered anew. "Or tap your arm a few times perhaps if you've got me in too tight a chokehold."
You laughed. "I'm not going to stick my tongue down your throat, for fuck's sake," you griped through a series of giggles.
"Language," Alastor scolded you despite chuckling a bit, himself.
In part to shut him up now, you closed the gap between your lips—mindful and slow, you kept to your original suggestion and simply pressed a polite, succinct peck against his still-smiling mouth. Afterward, you drew back just a little to get a read on your partner, finding his cheeks a little redder than before. And his eyes, uh, a bit wide.
"You okay?" you asked.
"I am," Alastor said, seeming a little surprised at the fact. "Why, that was hardly unpleasant at all!"
You snorted. "Hardly unpleasant… I can work with that, I guess," you mused.
He tsked at you and rested his hands against yours, which were still cradling his face. "You know very well that isn't how I meant it," he chided you. "It was pleasant. Unexpectedly so."
"Well, good!" you said, pleased he'd found it nice. "I'm glad. Did you want to keep it just at that?"
Alastor contemplated you for a moment or so and then contemplated your lips specifically—your face heated as he subconsciously wet his own.
"I could perhaps be a bit adventurous… If you're up for the task," he suggested, that curiosity lingering and shifting into something a little darker, it appeared. Wishful thinking maybe, on your part.
"I could be," you flirted back, pondering your options before suggesting, "I'll…well, I guess I'll just go until we stop—either because you tell me to or…whatever. Okay?"
Alastor shifted a little as he said, "Very well. On this particular dancefloor, darling, I follow your lead."
You couldn't help but tease him a little.
"You're a very cute old man, you know," you informed him. And, right as he was about to fire back, you slotted your lips against his, effectively finding the one way you'd encountered thus far to silence the Radio Demon.
You couldn't help a slight giggle when you heard the vinyl screech of a stalled record erupt from the air around you or possibly from his microphone propped up against the bedpost. Keeping to your word, you went slow, starting with a gentle brushing motion before offering a touch more guidance as you increased the pressure and friction by a hair.
Alastor was following, clumsily, but seemed to get his bearings little by little as you took the two of you through this ritual the way he'd once guided you both through your first waltz. You demonstrated the little nuances you'd learned in life as you went—the interval opportunities for breathing, the different sensations of brushing vs. sliding through a liplock, and where hands could rest unobtrusively when kissing was the sole activity in the cards for the evening.
Yours had remained cupping Alastor's cheeks and his had slid down from covering your fingers to loosely encircling your wrists. You'd assumed he'd left them there to free himself once he'd had enough—the way his quiet, ambient static had climbed to white noise around you had made you think he was nearing his limit—but he had yet to pull away or signal that he was done.
In fact, unless you were mistaking his body language through the hazy, dopamine-riddled fog you existed in now, he seemed ever more interested in continuing rather than stopping.
Alastor, more confident with the cadence of the kisses you shared and the way he could best move his mouth to match yours, nosed in closer when you started to lean back, thinking you were doing him a favor by allowing him some room. A disgruntled sound rumbled in the base of his throat when his nose bumped into yours, something you thought was cute but he was currently viewing as either a failure or an obstacle to what he wanted.
You smiled against his lips and used the cradle of your fingers against his cheekbones to gently angle his head—you tilted yours in kind to afford him the closeness he was after. Alastor gave a soft hum of approval as he nuzzled in again, successfully this time, and ran his hands down your forearms as the pads of his thumbs—with claws carefully angled away—skimmed the soft, delicate skin of your wrists all the way down.
Experimentally, you chanced a gentle suck against his lower lip and the cross between a low groan and a bleat that he allowed you to swallow between kisses made you shiver with delight.
It caused a reaction in him, too, apparently. In seconds, your world had tilted a full 90 degrees and you were on your back, soft scarlet quilts beneath you and enamored, lovedrunk Radio Demon on top of you.
There was no slow-and-steady now, not now that he had the idea of what he was meant to do and found himself comfortably, securely lost in your mouth, your softness, your scent. For Alastor, kissing someone on the lips had always been an alien, strange, unwelcome sort of act—no longer. Now he could only wonder how else he could get even closer to you, how completely he could be engulfed in the feelings you stirred in him when you were alone together and the Hells outside his door—your door now, too—ceased to exist until morning.
He couldn't even find it in himself to be embarrassed about the little cervine sound that had bubbled up from his throat when you'd so innocently yet salaciously tugged at his lower lip. That was filed away for another time, for now all that mattered was you.
You'd since lost your composure under the heat of his full attention. Your fingertips had traversed past the sharp lines of his cheeks toward his hair, gently tangling in the crimson and black-tipped locks that hung in short curtains around his face as he bowed over you, consuming you more surely and more thoroughly all the time.
Overzealous, he briefly and only once caught your lip with the edge of one of his lethal teeth—he'd lapped the bead of blood away, mumbled an apology, and proceeded to kiss you through the clotting, enjoying his taste of your essence without causing you any extra, undue discomfort.
When finally you had to break for air, you filled your lungs and looked up at Alastor, admiring the sparkle in his eyes and the disheveled state of his usually pristine appearance. Again you thought you were glimpsing not just the buck you'd fallen for, but the man he'd been long before you'd ever existed. You smiled—who would've thought you could feel lucky to be dead?
"Safe to say it's not so bad?" you asked, smirking a little when you heard how breathless your own voice sounded.
Alastor chuckled and straightened, plucking you up from the bed and bringing you with him. "Yes, indeedy, darling," he admitted, kissing your cheek as he admired your plush, kiss-bruised lips. He tutted a little at the tiny split he'd caused but seemed to take it in stride. "Was it… Was I alright for you as well?"
Your expression softened. "You always are," you murmured, tilting your head back to kiss the tip of his nose. "But yes. You're a very quick study."
You felt his chest puff with pride. "Why, of course!" he boasted with a haughty chuckle, back to the Radio Demon you knew (and loved). "Certainly couldn't be too hard a thing to learn, after all—the rabble and then some have seemed to figure it out just fine."
Expecting him to humble-brag you into oblivion, you simply let him marinate in his success—at least until he surprised you yet again. It seemed to be something he was inclined to do often and you couldn't complain. Especially when his surprises tended to, for you, border on a saccharine sort of sweet. Not that he'd ever admit to it.
Alastor smiled warmly down at you and bravely leaned in to press another, shorter kiss to your lips. "Thank you, ma cher."
You blinked. "What for?"
He hummed in consideration before murmuring simply, "This."
A look into his eyes told you that "this," wasn't simply a kiss or a conversation or any particular moment in isolation. It was all of those things though, all at once. The smile you shared was part of it, too.
And the countless tender moments that hadn't happened yet would be part of it as well.
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fastlane-freedom · 2 years ago
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Subconscious Mind is Not a “Mind” But a "Success Mechanism"
Subconscious Mind is Not a “Mind” But a “Success Mechanism”
The new science of cybernetics has furnished us with convincing proof that the so-called subconscious mind is not a “mind” at all, but a (success) mechanism—a goal-striving “servo-mechanism” consisting of the brain and nervous system, which is used by, and directed by the mind.  Before moving further, let’s understand the meaning of the below terminologies —————————————————– Cybernetics: The word…
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tofixtheshadows · 6 months ago
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Id love to hear ur interpretation and analysis on falin! She’s one of my favorite characters and and I was wondering what ur thoughts on her are
Man, I struggle to think of anything I could say about Falin that others have not already said. But she's one of my favorite things about Dungeon Meshi too.
So much of the story revolves around Falin, and she's not even there. Tumblr loves to talk about haunting the narrative, but Falin might be one of the best examples of it ever put to page. She's dead. She's alive. She's dead. She's alive. She's alive but she's missing, she's alive but she isn't herself. She's dead but she might wake. She's dead but she's frozen in ice. She's alive but she's sleepwalking. They chase her ghost and they chase her body all through the story.
I think what Kui does with her is fascinating. Not just as character with a personality we can analyze, but as an object in a narrative- that's why I say she's one of my favorite things about the story, because I also mean it in a mechanical sense. As a writer, Kui's really good at misdirection- that is, setting you up to believe or expect something about a character or a plot, and then turning that on its head. It's most apparent with Kabru, but it works really well with Falin too.
Because the precious little sister is a very well known character archetype, right? So is the gentle healer. The heart of the party. The white mage girl. The damsel in distress. The martyr.
And this isn't a Laura Palmer situation, where we find out that beneath her wholesome surface there's something dark and troubled. No, Falin truly is a kind and gentle person. That isn't where the misdirection leads (and that, too, I think, is another misdirection- it's not "Plot twist, she isn't as nice as you thought!", which would almost be too easy).
The misdirection here is more about structure than about character (but also, yeah- a little about character).
What I mean is, with these archetypes firmly in mind, along with a whole other host of fantasy genre expectations, I think anyone who goes into Dungeon Meshi un-spoiled probably expects Falin's rescue to be an endgame event; at least on a subconscious level, where you're not really thinking about it but in the back of your head you're already stretching out the story to place Falin firmly in the distance. Fire breathing dragon at the bottom of the dungeon is perfect final boss material, right? Slay the dragon. Rescue the princess.
And Falin is the perfect prize in the traditional old school fantasy that the concept of the titular dungeon is a send-up to. Blonde (white), soft-spoken, sweet-natured, beloved by everyone. An angelic figure.
Maybe that's why Ryoko Kui gave her white wings.
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It is sort of jarring when chapter 23 rolls around and it's already time to fight the red dragon. And it takes a few chapters, but they succeed. And then Falin's impossible resurrection succeeds. But by then you guess that this is not going to be the story you expected it to be.
I want to point out that Falin spends a lot of time getting, well, babied, post-resurrection. Marcille washes her in the bath, despite Falin stating that she's capable of washing herself. Marcille schools her about her mana use despite Falin demonstrating that she is not hurting for mana, and brushes aside Falin's explanations. Both Marcille and Laios refuse to actually tell her what happened. Laios scruffs up her hair like she's a little kid and scolds her for something she can't remember doing. Marcille explicitly calls her a little kid when Falin tries to talk about how much she's grown.
Of course I'm not saying that Laios was wrong to act like a big brother, or that Marcille shouldn't be worried about taking care of her shell-shocked friend in the bath. But the framing of it clearly shows a Falin who is struggling to be heard.
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If you'd like to address the big gay elephant in the room while we're here, I want to state for the record that- whether you read her as gay or not -I think Marcille is completely oblivious during this. Because Falin is her little friend from school. Her best friend, yes, but also the young tallman student she, in her infinite elven wisdom, had to mentor and look after. Marcille has not yet accepted that Falin is an adult now, nor has she accepted that she, herself, is only barely past teenagerhood developmentally and is not nearly as mature as she believes. Of course she'd scrub Falin in the bath and fuss over her.
Falin, meanwhile, seems more than aware of her own adult body and the inappropriate way Marcille is treating it.
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The mana-sharing scene is, I think, Falin trying to get a little of her own back. How do you like it, Marcille?
And she tries again in bed.
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Maybe she's wondering if their relationship will change now that they're grown ups. If Marcille prefers her as a little girl, or at least as a woman who lets herself be guided like one; if Marcille will react badly if Falin keeps trying to assert herself. She also might be subtly trying to signal to Marcille that bed sharing, like bathing, carries a different weight to it when you do it as adults rather than as children.
With all this in mind, the decision to turn Falin from the precious prize they rescued into to the vicious dragon they have to slay, hits a lot harder.
Falin with a powerful, monstrous, destructive body. Falin, who couldn't even stand to cause people pain from using healing spells, slaughtering half a dozen people in brutal ways. And that's not her, she's being mind-controlled, but as an object in the story she has completely flipped. From damsel to threat.
And I love that she carries a little bit of that with her when she's resurrected again.
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Because she's no longer the girl who's going to let herself be stifled by her brother's and her best friend's co-dependency, no matter how much she loves them. She's different now: stronger, eyes open, forging her own path instead of following in their wake. Falin is still going to come back to them again, but this time it won't be because they chased her. It'll be because they let her go.
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stonelions · 3 months ago
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starting to think dean's perception of cas as a weird, dorky, little guy is in fact a protection mechanism that he fired off subconsciously to shield himself from his otherwise mind-breaking attraction to a man wearing a beige trenchcoat & sensible shoes
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allfearstofallto · 3 months ago
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Bathing Together
Yandere! Scaramouche x Fem! Reader
TW: 18+ MDNI, Yandere themes
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It's tradition in Inazuman culture for family and spouses to bathe together, as Scaramouche would tell you. Washing each other's bodies is a sign of affection, respect, and most importantly, trust. Scaramouche wants to trust you. He believes that all good relationships are built up on trust. But he trusts no one, therefore he's never had a good relationship. Not even with you, the person he loves most. That's obviously something he desires to change.
He's allowed you to bathe alone long enough, giving you the space that was recommended by his peers, but he's grown frustrated. Needy even. Desperate for even more of your attention. As if he couldn't monopolize enough of your time already, seeing him during your meals and when you were trying to sleep wasn't enough apparently, he wanted to be present for your baths as well. And not just present, active in them.
He assured you that nothing sexual was going to happen, but you trusted Scaramouche as much as you trusted a frail rope to hold your body. But just like that rope, hanging you over the side of the cliff, you had no choice in whether or not it let you live. You were just waiting for the day it would finally snap and kill you.
So, he bathed with you.
Awkwardly, of course.
You always knew that Scaramouche was not human, but the feeling was mostly subconscious. It was small things like how little he slept or the small amounts he ate, but nothing was concrete. He never told you what he was, it was hard to get him to tell you anything, but it was something that itched in the back of your mind. A kind of uncanniness about him, the way his seemed too perfect, too symmetrical, his beauty so processed and mechanical. His body was no different. Completely hairless from head to toe and thin as well, but as pale as snow or paper, like there was no blood circulating within him.
"Must you stare?" He questioned, his voice holding traces of that bitter annoyance he always expressed, and you looked away.
Sitting on the stool you scrubbed yourself, your arms and chest, trying your hardest to avoid eye contact with him. Much to your surprise, Scaramouche genuinely didn't touch you with longing hands. Rather, he cleaned himself next to you, fully eyes focused on his task at hand, before he stood and walked behind you.
There was no chance to ask him what he was doing, his thin fingers holding a soapy rag were against your back. Not groping you, a thought that made you breathe a sigh of relief, but scrubbing you. You didn't ask him to do such a thing and definitely didn't imply that you wanted the help, but he did so anyways. His hands were firm, but gentle. Pressing down hard enough to clean you, but not enough to hurt.
"Wash mine now," he muttered after pouring warm water down your back.
It wasn't any less tense when you were behind him. Hands on his pale skin, you barely touched him when you cleaned his back. He was warm to the touch though, with a particularly marking on the nape of his neck. Scaramouche didn't register as the type of person who had tattoos, or even enjoyed the process. Yet when you tried to get a closer look, he spoke.
"If you're curious about it, then ask. I've told you about your staring," his voice rung out against the walls of the bathroom, echoing into your ears through the silence.
"No questions, my lord," you stammered, "I was just looking."
You too poured water down his back, signalling that you were finished and he stood, seemingly completely unfazed by his own nudity. His hand was on your wrist, making you follow him into the tub, where the water was steaming and hot to the touch.
You dipped your toe into it to test the heat, then sank into the tub. He sat right next to you, breathing out a sigh that sounded like relieving stress. For a while the two of you say in complete silence, where he looked off into the distance, like he as pondering something.
"You didn't try to kill me," he remarked, a little too nonchalantly for your liking.
"Of course not," you spat back. But that didn't mean that the thought didn't cross your mind. Although, the thought of wringing your hands around his neck and watching the life leave his body was something you always considered, but never acted on.
"You've exceeded my expectations of you then,"
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ozzgin · 1 year ago
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Yandere! CoD Headcanons: König x Reader x Ghost
Featuring two men, one mission, and a female reader that caught their interest more than they’d like to admit. TW: Obsessive behavior, violence, dubious consent, mildly NSFW
[Part II]
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It really shouldn’t be that fucking difficult. You go, you complete the mission, you return. Repeat. That’s what they’ve been doing for years. So much, in fact, that most of it is really just a sequence of mechanical actions, done so often they’ve become part of the subconscious. Crushing the throat under an armlock, stalking the target, mounting the suppressor before a sneak shot. Like driving a car, it becomes a learned routine.
Naturally there are elements of novelty to each mission. New teammates, new places, new requirements. It’s all part of the job. People come and go, comrades stay in your heart. What happens, however, when that latter part isn’t enough? Both Ghost and König have become accustomed to the classic rule: don’t get attached. Yet this time, for whatever reason, the nagging anxiety in the back of their heads just won’t go away. A pitiful need is clawing the walls of their pride, like a stray dog whimpering after the first sign of shelter. People come and go, but (Y/N) stays. Somehow this statement has materialized in their hearts and no other truth can be accepted.
They cannot pinpoint the exact moment this insidious feeling has nestled its way in. It started rather innocently. The first brief greetings were done on the loud, bumpy ride towards the temporary base. ‘Greetings’ is a generous word for it. Ghost had nodded at you in acknowledgement, and König merely glanced at you before staring into the distance.
You scarcely interacted with each other on the field, although that’s probably where their respect for you had gradually built up. You’re swift and efficient, nearly competing in ruthlessness. For König, the most memorable affair was you quietly twisting the neck of an enemy he failed to detect in time. His eyes widened upon seeing the barrel pointed at him, but just as speedily your form emerged from the shadows and you lunged at the assailant. Once the deed had been done, you merely lifted your hand in a thumbs up gesture and you went on. He remained there for a good minute, staring at the massive man you took down without hesitation. Similarly, Lt. Riley felt the cold beads of sweat forming on his forehead as his teammate shouted into the radio, demanding reinforcements. He wouldn’t make it in time and the anticipating guilt begun knotting in his stomach. He was searching for a solution when a prolonged round of bullets jolted him back to the radio. Moments of static silence, before you spoke in your headset: “Targets down. Out.” And just like that, you had vanished.
The realization hadn’t truly hit until they encountered you out of battle. They were going over the map when a small, dainty hand pointed to a random location. For a second they were startled, wondering if a civilian somehow entered their base. They hadn’t even registered your presence. Standing next to König’s enormous frame, you almost faded into the background as one of the furniture pieces. You were still in uniform, sure, but the heavy combat accessories and the dust of the bloodied fields seemed to have added more inches to your posture, at least in their imagination. You glared incredulously and inquired if it’s dementia or misogyny stopping them from recognizing (Y/N) (L/N). Ghost cleared his throat and curtly apologized for his reaction and König mumbled a continuation to it, suddenly and unexplainably awkward.
Such a faux pas would normally be swept under the rug. Had tactfulness and diplomacy been their key strengths, they wouldn’t be out here shooting people. But whatever embarrassment struck them on that particular day continued to linger, tugging their focus in a restless reminiscence. Until it finally occurred to them it wasn’t embarrassment persistently occupying their minds. Rather, and it should’ve been obvious, they have since become helplessly infatuated with you. The elephant in the room had gotten a name. But this particular elephant came with thick tendrils of obsession, spreading out relentlessly and asphyxiating any attempts to subdue it.
It really shouldn’t be that fucking difficult. Except it is. It’s hard for Ghost to look you in the eyes and give you the orders without clenching his fists and desperately trying to bury the avalanching thoughts of pushing you against that very wall, railing you until you forget his name. König can barely peek in your direction without being plagued by indecent images of your flushed, drooling face as he slams into your frail body.
Even worse is when the men become aware of each other’s intentions. Ghost had meant to check up on you after the latest expedition, but he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of König inspecting your wounds, his large hand resting innocently on your thigh as he squatted before you. You were in too much discomfort to notice, but it was clear to him. This bastard had a death wish. Days later it was König’s turn to taste the bitter betrayal when he heard your vibrant laugh approaching. You were thanking your companion for the entertaining workout and Ghost took advantage of your relaxed, distracted mood to place a hand against your arched back. That’s when he looked over with a predatory, malicious glint in his eye, as if marking his territory. You smiled, blissfully unaware of the suffocating tension within the room.
It’s no longer a matter of you accepting them or not. It’s who gets his hands on you first. You really must try to see it from their perspective, (Y/N). Put aside their love for you for a moment, and think about it. They’re only doing what’s best for you. Someone like you will never be satisfied with just any other man out there. You need a fitting partner, one that can protect you with imperishable, incessant loyalty. That’s truly the logical conclusion to it: there’s no one else for you. Just like nobody will ever compare to you in their eyes. And lamentably, you can’t afford to doubt their argument. The clock is ticking, and before they know it, the mission will be over and you’ll all be shipped to the next task. They can’t have that. They must act now.
“Isn’t it kind of early?” You ask, stretching up to check the ammunition shelves. Ghost asked you to help him gather some supplies from one of the storage closets, yet no one else is currently preoccupied with it. The hallways are empty and the only sound is your own shuffle between the cramped walls, emphasized especially by the tall man next to you. “I like to plan ahead” is all he answers. He bites his lower lip underneath the mask, contemplating his next step. How the fuck do you casually tell someone they’ve been your wet dream for months and you’d like to make it official, with or without their input? He should probably leave out the first part. Yeah. You don’t need the details of his nightly activities. Nonetheless, he has to make it clear who you belong to now. Afterwards he’ll deal with the pest that’s been wagging his tail around you.
“Oh, fuck this.” He eventually huffs out, exasperated. You jump slightly at the sudden outburst and turn to him, confused. He approaches you until your back hits the shelves, at which point he slams a hand above your head and effectively traps you between his sinewy arms. Perfect fucking spot. No, he shouldn’t get sidetracked. Plenty of time for that later. “What the hell?” Is the only thing that comes out of your mouth. His eyes are hollow, yet determined. A cold shiver runs down your spine and your eyes dart around the room, looking for an escape. At this distance you wouldn’t be able to tackle him down. He’s too big. Goddamnit. You grip his forearm, hoping to find some switch that pulls him out of this bizarre behavior. Ghost opens his mouth to speak, but the words dissolve into the explosive noise of the door ripping from its hinges. You yell at the sudden commotion.
König walks in, bending under the small doorframe. He seems to have just returned from the battlegrounds, vest splattered with fresh blood and sleeves scratched and torn. Despite the usual cloth draped over the head, you can discern a feral expression plastered on his face. “Du Landschlampe.” He growls and extends a hand towards Ghost. He clicks his tongue, annoyed, and is forced to release his hold on you to block the incoming blow. This is your chance. You nod at the Austrian man, grateful for his help, and proceed to sprint for the exit. Contrary to your expectations, he swiftly blocks your path and you slam into his body as the air is abruptly expelled from your lungs. You fall to the ground from the powerful momentum.
“You’re not leaving until we settle this”, König states in a low voice. Ghost reaches for one of his pockets and pulls out his hunting knife with a parading twirl. “That, I agree with. Let me show you exactly what happens to the fucker that messes with my woman.” König lets out a chuckle. “I was going to say the same thing.” You can only stare in terror.
What on Earth is going on?
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stsgooo · 1 year ago
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Subconscious Reassurance.
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✩࿐ summary: even the strongest has dreams he longs to be reality.
warning(s): slight 236 spoilers, shibuya incident spoilers, mentioned death, poor coping mechanisms, lovesick!gojo, girldad!gojo, as usual not proofread (it’s 2 am give me a break). wc; 3.6k
pairing(s): gojo satoru x reader
a/n: keep seeing tiktoks about the lamp story and this came to me. it’s a shortie but i just wanted to get this out. also do we prefer the colorless manga panels or the ones like the above one? i was messing with filters on picsart so lmk :)
divider 1 | previous work | ao3
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SATORU ARRIVED HOME EXACTLY 7 PM.
He knew it was true because that’s the time he always arrived. There was no need to glance at the clock or question anyone around him. He knew it was 7PM.
The sun was peeking through the curtains and basking your shared home in a golden hue. Warmth enveloped his very being as he closed the front door behind him. There wasn’t a surface that wasn’t being touched by the sun, that wasn’t feeling the same feelings he did.
The sky outside was illuminated in a mixture of purples, reds, oranges, and pinks. A palate that could be implemented into his very soul and he’d smile in return.
“Daddy!”
The call was familiar and came exactly one minute after Satoru walked through the door.
Again, he didn’t need to glance, he just knew.
A smile blossomed on his lips and he crouched down to catch the little girl that jumped into his arms with a loud squeal. Her nose pressed into her cheek as she happily rambled about how much she missed him. A norm and a routine that he greeted happily with his own reassurances that he missed her infinitely more.
"Daddy," she whined, her tiny chubby fingers reaching up for his blindfold. "Can't see your eyes, daddy."
This happened every night after he arrived home. She would always frown and trace her nails over where his eyes would definitely be. Most of the time it was uncomfortable and, frankly, a little scary, but he always welcomed it with an overly dramatic gasp.
"Oh, sorry, daddy forgot!" He hooked his finger under the fabric and pulled it down to rest against his neck. Her eyes (which were his) met his and brightened considerably. "Is that better, Rie?"
Rie nodded enthusiastically. "Yes!"
Despite the aching behind his right eye, Satoru kept the blindfold off for Rie’s sake. She had always expressed her upmost displeasure for the item since she was a baby. Crying and crying until he finally pulled it off. It’d been a rough first few years trying to get used to pulling the thing off whenever he got home. But he’d grown accustomed to it.
“What’s mama up to?” Satoru asked softly, tracing his finger briefly over the bridge of Rie’s nose as she giggled.
The little girl swayed slightly in his arms. “Mama’s been working in the eating room—“ dining room, Satoru softly corrected with a smile, “—she put on on Yuki for me to watch while she worked.”
“Yuki, huh? Lucky you!” He playfully pinched her cheek which resulted in her swatting his hand with a resounding “daddy!” in protest. Satoru adjusted her on his hip and raised an eyebrow. “Should we go bother mommy?”
Like usual, Rie enthusiastically nodded in response.
Poor you.
True to his routine, he made his way from the front door towards the dining room, loudly. He left no room for you to not hear him coming him and gave you ample opportunity to prepare for his and Rie’s interruption on your precious work (he swore you were almost as bad as Nanam— …. as… as…).
The smile on his lips didn’t falter as his mind trailed away from the forgotten name. What was forgotten obviously wasn’t entirely important. He enthusiastically turned the corner, arm thrown out as Rie squealed happily as his rather jerky movements.
You were as you always were. Responsible. In your usual space occupying your rightful position.
Despite the loud (dramatic) entrance he made, you did not react in anyway. Your eyes were glued to your screen as you furiously typed away a response to whoever got on your bad side today. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sight. In fact, this should’ve been around the time Gakuganji of Ya— someone of higher standing emailed you something that didn’t sit right with you. Even the appearance of your amazing and rambunctious husband didn’t seem to deter you from your mission.
Satoru pouted, huffing as he peacefully placed Rie down (the girl now more interested in the TV returning to her show), and crept closer to you. Still, you did not look away.
He leaned over, his chin hooked over his shoulder as he peeked over the words you were putting out into the world. Oddly, he couldn’t read any of the screen. He tried squinting your eyes and blinking a few times— nothing. It was more reminiscent of gibberish than any Japanese he knew. None of it seemed to stay in one place and it all smashed together to create a blob.
You knew how to read and write, he knew that much. Was it something with his eyes? He doubted it. But something wasn’t—
The laptop clicked close.
“You’ve never been one to take a hint, Satoru,” you turned your head to place a soft kiss against his temple in greeting. He could feel your tiny smile against his skin. The warmth of your lips. The coolness of your silvia left behind. His chest ached. He missed— missed? “Although, I knew that before I married you.”
He pushed away the mud in his mind and turned his head, placing a peck against your lips. Strawberries. You always had remnants of strawberries on your lips. Rie’s favorite fruit.
“I think it’s one of my many charming qualities.” He hummed.
You rolled your eyes, but placed a chaste kiss against his lips once again. “Charming is pushing it.” You patted his cheek. “It’s definitely an interesting characteristic.”
Satoru pouted. “You make it sound so unappealing.”
“Well, if the shoe fits…”
He snorted in response, standing to his full height and peeking at you from over his nose. “You know, you’re not innocent either. Thought you said the TV would rot her brain, now you’re putting it on to keep her distracted?” He spared a glance to where Rie was hanging off the couch, upside down, her eyes glued to the television.
You shot him an incredulous look. “Because she’s your daughter and has the self restraint of a puppy. I needed a hour to get some things done.” You pat the top of your laptop. “Sue me.”
Satoru smirked. “I just might for emotional damages.” He gestured towards the laptop with a vague hand. “What exactly had you typing up a storm?”
There was a brief wave of giddiness in his chest when he saw the look in your eyes darken. Passion. Anger. Protectiveness. There were so many things he loved about you. Adored you for. Made him sick to his stomach whenever he thought about it.
“Well, I got an email from —— about some work in Shibuya, but I told him I already checked it out and suffered for it. Well, guess what he said? ——— and ———— suffered too so I can’t complain much. Set me off a bit, had to give him a piece of my mind and remind him what happened.”
Satoru wasn’t sure if he was having a stroke or he was just too awestruck by your beauty; but he swore that your voice simply stopped whenever you spoke names. As if your voice box couldn’t get it out. But you carried on like it was nothing. Your lips had even formed around the words that so desperately wanted to be out there, but were never uttered. You didn’t look panicked or disturbed. If anything, you looked normal. Just sipping from your capri sun that was definitely forced on you by Rie.
It was like he was the only one not hearing it.
It vaguely concerned him, but he was also Gojo Satoru. Sometimes weird things happened that had no explanation.
“But,” you continued once you swallowed down the fruit punch liquid with a twisted face. “I suppose I can’t really blame anyone for what happened. It was Halloween, we were all caught off guard. Some of us suffered for it more than others.”
Satoru, for the life of him, couldn’t recall what happened on Halloween. But he should. He had that overwhelming feeling that he really, really should.
Either way, he gave a nonchalant shrug, “Eh, my motto is that it’s always easier to forgive and forget.” He snatched the remainder of your capri sun and gave a loud slurp.
You grin, resting your chin on your cupped fingers. “I suppose so.” You eyed him warmly, then nodded to the chair next to you. Always warm. Always welcoming. “Now, what did you get up to today?”
Satoru groaned, flopping onto the seat with a creak. He placed the capri sun down to place his hands against his face. “Two specials grades in Iwate, one grade one in Kagawa, then three nasty things leeching off on the playground on the way home.” He knew he should feel exhausted. He usually did. But that day, this day, he did not. If anything, he felt well rested.
Odd.
You hum softly. “They’re overworking you, Satoru,” your tone is barely there. Your words could be missed if the house had any movement or loud noises. But it was just you and him. The soft background noises of your daughter. Always you and him. “They should recognize that you’re just a man. One day it’ll be too much. One day you’ll snap in half.”
Satoru frowned, finding the sudden shift in tone a little unsettling. “I’m the strongest, no need to worry.” He waved a passive hand in the air between you.
“I’ll always worry. It’s been my job to worry.” Your eyes moved towards Rie almost melancholic. “She’ll worry too, you know. She does worry. More than she should at 10.”
Satoru frowned deeper. “Eh…?” He blinked slowly, eyes sliding to Rie with confusion. 10? Was he crazy? Blind? Since when was the little girl sitting on the couch 10? Last he checked, she was six. It was 2012. Were you losing it on him? Was this your subtle way of telling him you’re spiraling again? “Baby, she is not—“
“I know you worry too. Think you’ve been worried about losing since the moment you got home.”
Losing? He’s never lost. Well, except those few times. But they didn’t count. Those were intentional loses.
Satoru was beginning to feel as though you both were having two different conversations. “Y/N, I’m not following.” He stated softly, eyebrows furrowed.
“What do you have to do tomorrow, Satoru?” You breezed through as if you knew where that was going. A pensive expression on your face now.
Again, he frowned, narrowing his eyes. “Tomorrow? I…Well, I’m going to Shinjuku to… to…” To…what…? What was it he had to do? He could feel it deep in his chest. That ache. That unfamiliar emptiness that made him rub over his heart softly. There was something he was missing.
“Tomorrow’s going to be romantic,” You said wistfully, eyes distant as you sighed. “Well, it’s supposed to be.”
December 24th.
December 24th. So I don’t have to remember two different dates.
How romantic.
Satoru felt his gut churn. He wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t explain it but everything felt so tight now.
“I’m not.. I don’t…?”
Why couldn’t he get words out. Why did he stare at you like that? Unmoving, unblinking? Why did his eyes collect with tears.
Why did you look so sad?
You reached out, taking his hand. It’s cold. It feels cold. Not like the usual warmth that envelopes him whenever you held him. Whenever you reached out from him.
You’re cold.
You take his hand. “Satoru, what’s happening tomorrow?”
Seriously, what is with you?
Satoru clenched his jaw. “What are you doing?” He wasn’t sure why but he felt so unnerved. He felt like he’s been disillusioned. As if his world was crumbling. But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand.
You’re cold.
You looked briefly disappointed in his response. “You’re not well. You’re trying to appear to be, but you’re not. She worries. She’s so worried. And you know it.” Your hand reached out and cupped his cheek. Your cold thumb gently stroked against his bone, against the tears that were flowing— why was he crying?
“I’m fine. Just a little tired.” He didn’t feel tired. “I just need a nap.” He didn’t feel tired.
“Oh, Satoru, I’m so sorry,” you uttered it, barely audible. But it was enough to conjure up an earth shattering sob from his chest. A heartbroken tremble under your touch. “I’m so sorry for leaving you.”
“You’re right here?” Confusion was clear in his tone and his expression as he stared back at you.
You just smiled sadly in response.
He shook his head. “You’re right here.” He prided a finger against your chest. Firm. But cold.
You tilted your head and blinked slowly at him.
Satoru wasn’t sure why, but he took in as deep breath. Like he couldn’t quite catch it in the first place.
“You didn’t— You’re right here!” He desperately clutched onto your hand, pressing your skin against his own. “You’re right here. This-This is real. This-This is you. Please. Please, this is you.”
You only stared sadly in response.
Satoru wasn’t sure what was happening. Why he was so panicked or why he felt so terribly sad— but he knew it was making him quiver and sob. Why? Why? Why did this all have to happen to you? Of all people had you been the one to suffer?
What suffering?
“I…” He felt breathless. Feather light. He felt like he had no control of his lips or his tongue. “Tomorrow I fight… Sukuna…?”
Sukuna? Since when? When did—
“Since before Shibuya. Since before Itadori Yuji.” You answered his thoughts.
Itadori Yuji. Satoru thought that name sounded familiar. A blank face appeared in his mind, the back of a pink hair head facing him. Itadori Yuji.
He felt like he was living someone else’s life. As if he were placed in some point in space where nothing bad could touch it.
But these feelings, these tears, this ache in his chest wasn’t peaceful. It wasn’t safe from the darkness of the world.
“Nanami… Yaga… Nobara…” You uttered the names that made his ears ring. That made his muscles tense and his heart sputter to a catastrophic halt. “But still you dream of Suguru…. of me…. of the lives you desperately want to hold on to.”
Suguru… you…
Satoru’s lips quivered.
Suguru… you….
“Why?” You asked the million dollar question.
Breathless whispers against sweat slick skin. Endless touches of tense muscle. Hair hanging and tickling. Eyes sure and hardened with undoubted honesty.
Why? Satoru thought that question was dumb. Why would the earth dream to reach out for the moon and the sun?
He stared at you, big blue eyes glittering with shimmering tears. “I’m the strongest… I should’ve saved the ones I loved… I should’ve… I’m the strongest.”
To be whole. To be loved. To love.
You sigh softly. Sadly. “Satoru, you can’t save everyone.”
“But I could.”
“Obviously not.”
The words were final. Absolute. No doubt. And he supposed, a deep part of him knew, you were right.
But that other part of himself. The one that hated himself for what happened, for whatever happened, convinced him otherwise.
“You don’t—“
“Get it?” You raised an eyebrow at his blink. “I’m your subconscious. I’m your deepest, most personal thoughts. I get it.”
Satoru stared in return. “…huh?”
You pressed your lips together. “Satoru, you’re the strongest. But you don’t always have to be.” You whispered if. A nefarious secret between the both of you that couldn’t be touched. That couldn’t be shared outside of this setting. You scoot closer in your chair. You’re slotted between his legs. “There’ll come a time where you need to step back. To rest. And let those you’ve guided this far to do their jobs.”
Resting. Stepping back.
No one had ever spoken those words to him before. It was never a guarantee nor was it ever a possibility. He feared, even now, he couldn’t even dream about something like that.
Are you the strongest because you’re Gojo Satoru? Or are you Gojo Satoru because you’re the strongest?
Years later, Satoru didn’t know what to make of his words. But Suguru had always known him better, he supposed.
Distracted, he didn’t realize you had started to card your fingers through his hair, bringing his head against your shoulder. It was a blissful moment when he came to his senses. When he felt your fingers ghost his scalp. When he felt your lips brush against his temple.
“You should take a nap, you look tired.”
The moment the words left your lips, his eyes felt heavy and he felt exhausted. He hadn’t felt tired before. He would love to sleep. But…
“What about you?” He whispered, eyes unmoving from your face. He studied the bow of your lips. The softness and warmth of your eyes. The faint blush across your cheeks. The little wrinkles on your forehead. “If I close my eyes, you’ll be gone.”
“No,” you shook your head and placed your free hand against his rapidly beating heart. “I’ll be here.”
How cliche. He wanted to say. But he would take it. He’d take and savor any moment with you.
He took in a shuddering breath. “I love you.”
“I love you.” No hesitation. No doubt. How could this be a dream? Something of his own mind? He nuzzled into your neck with a small sigh. “Take care of her.”
Take care of her.
Take care of her.
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Satoru woke with a soft gasp.
He was not happy or surprised to find the ceiling of his dark room instead of the dining room.
The clock next to his bed illuminated 2AM in angry red outline. He’d been asleep for approximately 4 hours. And dreamt of you. Again.
His jaw clenched as he tried to push down the tears that threatened to spill over. You, angelic, in your rightful place typing away. That’s what you should be doing.
Instead, you were one of the first to die in Shibuya.
It’d been you, then Nanami, then Nobara, then whoever else.
She got caught up with Noritoshi in the tunnels, that Death Womb Painting kid tried to explain to Satoru when everyone else had been too distraught and nervous to reveal it themselves. She didn’t suffer.
It didn’t bring him comfort. Satoru was pretty sure it was a lie, but it still brought him no comfort.
It gave him all the more reason to make Kenjaku suffer.
December 24th.
Today was the day.
Almost two months since your death. Christmas Eve.
Satoru was pretty sure he was about to do the same. Embrace death for the sake of others.
He could look around, tell all of them that he’d win, but there was that growing inkling that this was mounting up against him. That Sukuna— Megumi— knew exactly what to do to get one up on him. He feared the unknown. The possibility this was it.
What would you say?
“Dad?”
Satoru’s eyes dragged from the ceiling and to the spot next to him.
Now 10, Rie was older and less rambunctious. But he blamed that partly on your death and his sudden sealing.
She had clung to him since he returned. Tears streaming down her face as she hugged him, begged him to never go again— she thought she’d lost him just like mama. (It’d been six years since he heard her call you mama.) And she slept in his bed. Said she couldn’t sleep otherwise. She’d curl up against him and he’d run his hands through her hair as he hummed a long forgotten lullaby to guide her to sleep.
Shoko said she needed this. Him.
Satoru knew she needed you.
“Rie, did I wake you?” He asked sympathetically.
“No,” surprisingly, it sounded like the truth. “I’ve been up.”
He frowned, “Why?”
There was a prolonged pause between them. A thick layer of hesitation passed and Satoru tensed up. What could she possibly be up for?
When he heard the small sniffle, his heart ached.
He sat up and drew her into his arms, holding her close as he pressed kisses against her head. “Hey, hey, why are you crying?”
“I don’t want you to die!” Rie sobbed immediately. “I don’t want you to fight stupid Sukuna! I just want you to stay here with me— I can’t lose you too!”
I can’t lose you too.
Satoru pressed his lips together as tears sprung to his eyes. “Rie, I’m not going to die.” Such sure words for a man who was worried over his own mortality only moments ago. Who had to be reassured by his subconscious image of his dead wife that it’s okay to lose.
Rie shook her head frantically. “No! I heard Kusakabe say you will!” She sobbed, clutching onto his night shirt with a vice like hold.
Satoru silently cursed the man as he rubbed Rie’s back. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? What does Kusakabe know anyway, the schmuck?” His poor attempt at joking fell flat, Rie only continued to cry. With a heavy sigh, Satoru pulled back, holding her face in his hands. “What do I always say, hm? I’m the strongest. I’ll get one up on him.”
Rie stared up at him and Satoru was painfully aware of how young she was. “You promise?” She uttered.
Satoru hesitated.
If he were to promise and it didn’t actually work out, who was he? Would she resent him for the rest of her life? Would she try to forget him and spit on his memory? He’d been promised many things in life by people he looked up to and every single one had been broken. Resentment festered. Trust was broken.
What kind of father was he if he—
Take care of her. She worries.
Satoru tucked some of her hair— your hair— behind her ear. “I promise.” He whispered, pressing a tender kiss against her forehead. “I promise.”
Rie clutched onto him once again. “I love you.”
No hesitation.
“I love you too.”
The worries of Sukuna and Kenjaku could wait until morning. Satoru had to focus on her now.
Take care of her.
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