#stupid bitch malfunctioning organ

[lesbianneopolitan]

it's always so weird and so frustrating to be so self-aware of the doings of the mental illness when in a major breakdown or episode

like I'm there totally realizing it doesn't make sense, there's no logic to it, like it's so stupid, but I can't help but spiral and not being able to stop it from happening because that sick side of the brain is way stronger

it's like watching another being taking control of your body to feel or do x and not being able to stop it, I don't feel like myself

[calebwittebane]

so fucking funny when my brain is like. hey bitch. i see youre going to sleep well heres the thing. im gonna give you some dreams now. picture this. imagine youre staying in a truly bizarre, labyrinth-like hotel thats not even rly divided into rooms, its just like, heres your pile of shit, loose furniture, make yourself at home. anyway theres creatures roaming the place. they can stun you and cause you profound pain. ohh yeah reminder you feel pain in dreams. full sensory experience. remember that. anyway you contact the hotel owner to gently point out a civil engineering safety regulation issue in the building (unrelated to the already mentioned flaws). he seems grateful. it hurts you when you try to speak, btw.

there are, also, flocks of small birds stuck in time, everywhere, dont touch them or theyll crash into what from their perspective is a solid object moving at light speed, and theyll be obliterated. okay so the hotel owner is like thanks for the tip i will get that checked out. Surprise! youre a demon whos been on the run. the hotel owner is your uncle and also a demon hunter whos been Waiting for you. you were supposed to be outside of the solar system, but looks like not only were you paying a visit to earth, you were foolish and arrogant enough to disguise yourself as a human and pull this kind of stupid stunt! well, thats not fucking good.

you dont know what he plans to do, so you do your best to escape His Twisted Hotel Realm. its not easy, but thanks to your ability to fly and to briefly become invisible and able to phase through solid matter, you manage to get out. youre out in the city now. its a Twisted Fucked Up version of warsaw. i mean like Continent Sized. whatever. youre gonna try to get to a train station and then figure out the rest. you take off flying in a direction that seems right.

well, flying is hard. its tiresome. and there are power lines everywhere. get above the power lines level you idiot. oh oops theyre at Every Altitude. gotta make sure you dont fly into them. so dont fly too fast. but you have to maintain a good speed, otherwise youll lose lift. oough oof ouch, you touched some of those wires, that sure hurt! well, this will be an ordeal.

oh geeze! it seems like youve flown into Gargantuan Horrifying Industrial Zone. its the part of the city thats all Mind Bendingly Huge machinery, excavators, pipes, endless fields of moving parts, saws, pumps, i mean theres nowhere to land. theres like, Walking Coal Excavators. walking moving coal plants. huge collapsing exploding structures--everything is so gargantuan, red-hot, horrible and dangerous, theres shit exploding and collapsing all the time. there are fires everywhere. oil spilling. toxic smoke. and of course power lines at every altitude. and enormous moving parts. well good luck flying through this Zone.

oh well! you try. you have powers after all. you try to fly through this Zone. a walking power plant almost crushes you with its incomprehensibly huge, rusty, titan limbs and machinery. maintaining invincibility while flying is Really hard and at a certain level of exhaustion its likely to malfunction, and if it does at a bad moment, youll be obliterated painfully.

well it happens. it hurts. but instead of dying you clip thru the ground into Huge Underground Tunne Network where the workers live and work and navigate the place. you try to hide in storages and unused tunnels and shit, but thing is, due to how Enormous all the shit upstairs is, the whole tthing is like a living organism. when a walking coal plant passes above, the tunnels contract and loosen up and give in, and some of them get squeezed completely. the workers know how to navigate this, but you dont, so you get painfully squished by a contracting tunnel. youre too exhausted to turn invincible.

well you decide trying to blend in is your best chance. best you can do with how tired you are is take the form of a young worker and pretend to be a new guy. some other workers (theyre all like combination coal miners and prisoners) immediately fall in love with you and try to hook up with you. you accept their advances to get information. they tell you about a train line running thru the zone that can take you to the outskirts. next one is tomorrow. you accept that as your best bet. after hours of grueling work and a painful experience all around, you get on the train. its old and falling apart. hard to tell where its going exactly. it breaks down. youre stranded. where are you? you dont know.

ugh! this wouldnt be happening if you werent a demon. which btw other workers figured out that you are. they start drowning you in a bucket of water. you start laughing at them. its not funny. you hurt all over. you want to die, but you never will. youre cursed to live through your own painful horrifying death endlessly, over and over.

also youre 10 and your parents are fighting

[spike-and-faye]

Hello, I require your infinite wisdom please!! :O So I just finished cowboy bebop and I am so confused like who the fuck was Julia. WHAT was Faye's past. I literally never process tv shows and the bebop was not immune to my stupidity LMAO like... I guess the ending just really confused me, from what I gathered Spike and Vicious were friends? But then they weren't? And Julia dated Vicious but also Spike? And he? Went after Vicious even after Julia had died? I am Confusion. Please help. Thank u...

Oh BABEY I am so glad you asked! :) Be prepared for a long answer and I apologize in advance for how incoherent it will probably be.

ALSO Please note: this show is fucking complicated. I have watched it all the way through several times a year, every single year, for over a decade now, and I am *STILL* finding new shit every time I watch it. It's packed with symbols, motifs, allusions and underlying themes that are just so rich. It is so extraordinarily well-written that it could give a lot of classic literature a run for its money. I'm literally working on an in depth literary/film analysis my husband lovingly calls my Manifesto on the series right now. SO PLEASE don't beat yourself up about not catching everything on the first go round.

HEY BTW for anyone who hasn't finished the show, please know there will be MANY spoilers ahead!

Anyways ~

1.     Spike / Julia / Vicious:

The information we get on Spike's past, including Vicious and Julia, is pretty limited considering how big of an impact they have on the story. We get our first glimpse in Session 1: Asteroid Blues, then again in Session 5: Ballad of Fallen Angels, Sessions 12 + 13: Jupiter Jazz, and Sessions 25 + 26: Real Folk Blues. I recommend reviewing these episodes for you Julia and Vicious fix.

What we know:

Spike and Vicious were both members of an organized crime syndicate called the Red Dragons, which is roughly analogous to the Yakuza or the Mafia. Their positions in the organization are not clear, but there are some images alluding to them being hitmen, and they likely rose up in the ranks as they were close acquaintances of Mao Yenrai, a Capo of the Red Dragon.

Spike and Vicious were close comrades. Spike taught Vicious everything he knew about fighting, and the two had a deep trust in each other. Which Spike fucked up ….

^^Vicious looks hot asf here

Julia was Vicious' lover/girlfriend. One night in 2068 (three years prior to the time we watch in the Bebop) Spike is injured, presumably from a syndicate-related fight and he passes out in front of her door. She takes him in and nurses him back to health and he SIMPS HARD for her. We’re all but told he's in LOVE love with her. They start an affair, and Spike tells her he's ready to abandon the whole life - the syndicate, Vicious, Mao, all of it - and they could run away together.

WELL Vicious finds out about this whole affair, and is DOUBLY betrayed because his literal best friend and girlfriend have been having an affair, and tbh I think he was just as jealous of Spike's attentions as he was of Julia's. (Whether or not it’s a sexual thing for Spike … well … I have my own headcanons about that). SO when he finds out they're going to run away together, he gives Julia an ultimatum: you can either kill him, or I'll just kill you both. Spike had written her a letter about meeting him in the graveyard to start their new life together, which she tears up to hide his location from Vicious. (This is the falling ripped up pieces of paper we see in Spike's flash back in Session 5).

^^ r/gifsyoucanhear

**NOTE: There are those who disagree with this view, (looking at you Cowboy Bebop wiki) instead suggesting Vicious and Spike were buds in the past, but then hated each other once they were both considered as potential successors to Mao. That's why Vicious wanted him dead, and he was enlisting Julia (who he didn't necessarily have a romantic connection to) to help kill Spike since he knew Spike loved her. Personally, I think there is plenty of evidence that Vicious also wanted Julia, and in fact was already with her, when Spike started seeing her. If you want me to cite my sources please send an me an ask about it :)

Spike gets the idea, whether by her just not showing up or word around the syndicate being like YO Vicious wants you dead. Despite Vicious' ultimatum to Julia, he was gunna kill Spike either way. SO he sets up an ambush, and SadBoy™ Spike walks intentionally into their trap. Somehow, he doesn't die, though the entire syndicate thinks he did. (Note Annie's reaction to seeing him alive in Session 5). It’s also implied that this is where he lost his eye.

HIS EYE - possibly the most important symbol in the show so I do have to mention it. In episode 26, he explicitly explains to Faye that one of his eyes only sees the past. (PS this isn't dissimilar to Jet's arm… we can get into that another time). Basically, he's constantly living halfway in the past and halfway in the present, and describes the past like a dream he can never wake up from. Because dysfunctional or not - the syndicate WAS his family. (Again - see his relationship with Annie, Mao, and Vicious (prior to Spike's betrayal)). It's his reminder that Julia didn't run away with him, and that he'd left behind that life for her. (He didn’t know she was being threatened until the final episode). Basically Spike is hyper-fixated on what he had and what could've been.

Not long after this, Spike starts bounty hunting because like? What else is he going to do. He doesn't care if he lives or dies but if he has to be alive, he may as well be able to eat. He joins up with Jet Black on the Bebop.

TL; DR: Spike stole Vicious' lover, Julia, so Vicious made Julia choose between her killing Spike or Vicious killing them both. She instead went into hiding and Spike thought he'd been stood up. He fake died and got the hell outta dodge.

2.     What was Faye's past?

Ok let me start by saying Faye is my wife and my life. HOWEVER I hated her the first time I watched this show circa age 13 because I thought she was annoying/vain/shallow (also because #internalizedmisogyny lol am I right fam). Good news! She is all those things! But she's also very lonely and scared and an amnesiac and secretly a sweetie and she realizes she loves the crew of the Bebop like family.

SO my wife's backstory:

she was born in the 1990s (#only90skidsremember). There's some debate over her race/nationality, but due to the images of her hanging out in Merlion Park in Singapore, my bet is that she's Singaporean. She comes from a wealthy family with a big house, and we see some utterly *adorable* film of her as a child/young adolescent in Session 18: Speak Like a Child. I cry everytime </3

^^ Holla for the representation

In 2014, circa age 20, she and her parents were going into space when the shuttle they were on had some kind of malfunction/accident and it killed an unknown number of people, including her parents. At the time, the technology didn’t exist to be able to save her, so she was put into a cryogenic sleep state. Meanwhile, the Lunar Gate accident occurs, breaking up the moon and causing rock showers on Earth's surface. Most people died, moved to Mars, or settled underground.

She wakes up from her cryogenic sleep in 2068. (Also the year Spike leaves the syndicate.) She's 'woken' by the corrupt Dr. Bacchus who plans on charging her for the years and years of medical debt she's accrued. (See Session 15: My Funny Valentine.) Luckily a lawyer takes interest in her case (Whitney Haggus Matsumoto) and tries to help get rid of her debt. The two fall in love, but turns out Whitney is a Scumbag. He's actually Dr. Bacchus's nephew, and faked his death, writing Faye as the sole inheritor to his will. This means she'll take on all his debts. So baby girl has LOTS of debt at this point.

In the intervening years prior to her joining the Bebop, she gambles, cheats, gains a lot of street smarts, and adopts a very seductive character to get her way. She joins the crew on the Bebop in Session 3: Honky Tonk Women.

TL;DR: Faye is Austin powers

YIKES this is so long I am so sorry. Bitches are obsessed with this show. (I am bitches)

3.     The Ending

Okay I'm going to present this in the way, in my scholarly opinion, would be correct, though there are SO many interpretations other than simply 'Spike died :/".

To understand the plot of the last couple episodes we actually have to go back to Session 5: Mao is instructed* to sign a treaty with a rival syndicate called the White Tigers. (*He's instructed by The Van (Council of identical creepy old men) who are the actual head of the dragon. I think we only see them in Session 26.) Well - Vicious is a Bastard Man and he and his fellow mutineers blow up the White Tiger guys' ship and slit Mao's throat. Before he dies, Mao is like "Gotdamnit if Spike was still here this shit wouldn't have happened." Later in the Cathedral battle, Vicious explains to Spike he killed Mao because Mao 'lost his fangs'. He planned on killing Spike for good her, IMO, so there'd be no rival to take over as Capo for the Dragons.

^^These guys are The Van btw

THEN in Session 25, the Van basically catches Vicious and is like “you killed Mao and now you have to go to Time Out.” The Van also decides to just kill everyone associated with Vicious, just 2 B safe. That's why there's a big ass shootout at the Loser Bar where Jet and Spike are chilling, drinking, (missing Faye and Ed and Ein lol) and Shin (younger brother to Lin, who's helping Vicious overthrow the Dragon) explains all this to Spike. OH and PS JULIA IS ALIVE AND HERE IS HER LOCATION :). (**Notice Spike's reaction at this point is different than his reaction in Jupiter Jazz when he hears there's a Julia on Calisto. Much less excited… hmm…).

SO THEN you know we get some flashbacks of the past as previously explained *and* Julia just happens to run into Faye. She recognizes that Faye is one of Spike's friends from the Bebop (she was keeping tabs on him it seems) and picks her up. Faye doesn't know who Julia is but is like damn bitch I'm a little gay for you. (I mean … that may just be my bi ass projecting, but Faye is REALLY struck with her. Look at how she describes her to Jet, I mean come on.)

 Faye's like, 'we should team up' and Julia says 'no thanks but also tell Spike to meet me at *the place*'. Meanwhile back on the Bebop Spike and Jet are talking and Spike goes on about some dream woman who was his other half. (We assume he means Julia … I have my reasons to doubt this … I have a lot of angry DMs about my opinion here lol but I just do not give a fuck (: I can expand on this in another post or you can refer to the title of my fucking blog haha) Personally, I think Watanabe personally left this specific scene open ended, the same way he does with the ending and various other things.

more like SIMP Spiegel

ANYWAY Faye comes back to the Bebop to tell Spike about Julia, and Jet gets intel from a former cop buddy that there's some shit going down with the Dragons. (Again, the Van is hunting down everyone ever associated with Vicious, including your pal Spike). Bebop is attacked, Faye tells Spike what's up with Julia, and he heads out.

 PAN TO VICIOUS chained up - about to be executed - but what's that!? It's a bird!? It's a pla- no it's just a bird. (With one glowing red eye … hm … reminds me of Spike, also the drug Red Eye. Pls let me know if you have any thoughts on this). Just a bird with a BOMB! Explosion (RIP bird c. 2065 - too soon), Vicious kills the elders, his buddies show up and are ready to go fuck shit up.

this show could not be more of an aesthetic

MMMPhhh okay RAINY CEMETERY. Spike and Julia. She draws a gun, explains why she didn't meet him that day, and then hugs him. Now Spike is not *great* at showing his emotions but he literally just stands there. Maybe it's a stoic expression of how sad he is that he never knew she still cared, when it seemed like she dumped him. Maybe he's finally getting some closure on his past. Maybe the past doesn't mean the same thing it used to. (I'll elaborate later on this).

They go to Annie's to get stocked up on stuff, she lets them know she denied knowing Spike was still alive and hey also the Van was assassinated by Vicious and his guys so. Watch out for that. Then her shop is surrounded by Vicious' guys and she dies :(. Spike and Julia escape to the roof, but she's shot and dies in Spike's arms, and says 'it's all just a dream' :(. (Refer to: Spike living in a dream of the past).

Anyway Jet SAID he wasn't gunna go after Spike but. Jet's parental instincts kick in (oh yeah he was shot in the leg earlier btw) and he goes to Sitting Bull to see if he knows where Spike is. He basically says yeah Spike's about to die somewhere. (I want to do a further analysis on all the Sitting Bull scenes.) Well conveniently Spike returns to the Bebop, eats, tells his story about a tiger-striped cat. (At one point Jet asks if he's going there for her, and Spike is like well she's dead now so whatever). THEN we get to the scene where Faye is like HEY YOU CAN'T GO OFF AND DIE ASSHOLE and he's like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I 've been living in the past so I might as well see if I'm living now. (**This will play heavily into my interpretation of the ending). Faye is pissed, shoots the ceiling and he goes off to the syndicate headquarters to fuck shit up.

He basically John Wicks his way through the building, Shin dies, he and Vicious have the big boss battle and whatnot. He kills Vicious and stumbles back out down the stairs and says "Bang!" and collapses. We pan to the sky and see a star fade away.

Well that explains the plot … now here's what I think happened!!! ALSO may I mention, anon - you picked up on something I feel like a lot of people miss out on. Why *did* Spike go back to kill Vicious if Julia was already dead??

Basically, once it became clear that anyone associated with Vicious was being killed, Spike knew they'd hunt him down, and they weren't beneath Kill-Billing their way to him, (i.e. systematically destroying this companions to get to him). And for all his apparent indifference - he really loves his new found family. Jet is literally like an older brother to him. Ed is a little sister. Ein is well … a very good boy. And Faye? Well the relationship is complicated, and I'm not going to get into the 69,420 reasons I ship them here, but I think it is beyond argument that he really does care for her, even if that just in a filial way. He didn't want the syndicates to kill them for their association to him, or in order to get to him. So he did what he had to do to protect them. *AND NO* I am not saying that he didn't love Julia. But it was clear that his desire was no longer to run away with her. I think he genuinely loved and cared about her, but at some point between Jupiter Jazz Pt 2 and now, he accepted that their time together was over. Now he had a new raison d'etre, which is the Bebop.

I think at this point Spike has 'woken up' to reality (as he implied to Faye in their final conversation in episode 26: "Look at these eyes. One of them is a fake, because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I have been seeing the past in one eye, and the present in the other. I had believed that what I saw was not all of reality...I thought I was watching a dream that I would never awaken from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over." (This is from the sub btw I'm too lazy to look up the dub transcript.) He wasn't going there to die, he's going to find out if he's really alive. This line is fucking cool and everything - but it's implications are multitude. I won't go into them all here but basically : what makes him alive now is that he's free from his past. He's alive because he has this new family and protecting them is all he really wants now. Spike was protecting Jet, Faye, Ed, (and Ein) by going and facing the entire syndicate, knowing that their lives would all be in danger.

SO - did Spike die? Well again - Watanabe has purposely and artfully left this open ended. Well, if we're following the symbolism from Sitting Bull, then yeah, the man is as dead as disco, and wouldn't that be a fitting ending? BUT at the same time, Spike always refers to having 'died' before (meaning when he was ambushed by the syndicate, and they all thought he died, and he pretty much did). Don't forget that in  movie (takes places roughly between episodes 22 + 23, and yes, was made AFTER the series but whatever) he like .. DIES dies. He goes to the afterlife and everything. He wakes up to find he's chilling with Sitting Bull, who's like nah it wasn't your time to die yet. So the fact Sitting Bull confirms Spike will die in the final episode, means yeah, Spike is pretty much dead.

BUT -- okay now hear me out -- could this death in the final episode be a death to his previous life? The person he was in the syndicate? Now that he's extinguished the Red Dragons for good, is it not possible that its merely *that* life which has ended? That's the optimist in me saying that, but if it keeps me from staying up all night crying, I guess it'll have to do. Watanabe definitely wants to leave it up to the viewer, so whatever you think, I feel like there's validity to it.

WELL any anon, sorry for the fucking lecture - and believe me, I could've said MUCH, MUCH more - but I enjoyed this question. I always love talking about this show so please all you fuckers feel free to message me or send an ask about anything any time. I am really slow at replying because #life'sAbitch.

Love you all.

SY,SCB <3

[pepperpills]

The Harvest - RE8 Fanfic

The Harvest

A Resident Evil 8 fan fiction by Joana

Karl Heisenberg x Female Reader

Notes: heey guys, The Harvest is coming closer to its end, i hope you enjoy this chapter and new things might be coming ahead, thank you all for reading it >.<

Warning: NSFW content

Part I - Destiny (1) Part I - Destiny (2) Part II - The Lord Part III - The Hunt

Part IV – Soft Torture

In the next days, you finished the new wing and brough him to see it. He was grateful, he took a while analysing your sketches, strumming the shelves covered with books and the metallic tool boxes. When he was done, he impulsively took your head in his hands and kissed you in the forehead. You blushed, but by that time he already crossed the door and was calling you to help.

Then, you spent hours helping him move his stuff to that wing, especially the non-metallic ones, which he had no power over. Your hands touched while doing it and every time it happened, an electric discharged flowed through you – and him.

After you were done, you left him to explore his new set up as excited as he was with it. You still had your cleaning stuff when coming back to the main area and there was time, plenty of free time. Thus, you stopped on level B3 to take care of a dusty stroller that was pissing you off with its dirt.

You were minding your own business, singing your favourite childhood song while wiping the dust off the power box when you heard a drill. You instantly froze, imagining what caused it.

The area was poorly lite, but you saw that red brightness in the pitch dark, you wouldn’t confound it as it was part of the nightmares you had at your first days at the factory. It was, indeed, a lost Soldat.

You held a scream, your hand quickly covered your open mouth, but it was too late, it paid attention to you, way before you saw it, then it started walking towards your direction with that drill making a death sound.

The world around you didn’t make sense. You looked for exits, but it was about to sprint and you were in a corner, unable to run anywhere. A single tear rolled down your face and you closed your eyes not willing to see it.

“NO.” Heisenberg screamed, showing up at the right moment. “STOP!” He demanded, but the thing was now coming to him. “Stupid shit.” He cursed, violently throwing his cigar on the ground, putting it out with his boot.

With that said, the reactor on the Soldat’s chest exploded, casting hundreds of small parts all over the place, one hit you in the cheek. No one moved, it simply disintegrated and the creature fell to its knees, deactivated, exploding right away, sending more trash to the air.

Heisenberg walked rapidly to you and held your shoulders. When he noticed your cheek, he cleaned it and licked your blood out of his finger. You were way too shaken by the Soldat, but his grip slowly brought you to the real world.

“You okay?” He whispered, his expression lines showing how worried he was.

He got so scared of losing you for that malfunctioning son of a bitch that his heart sunk when he saw you. It was too late for him to continue pretending he didn’t care that much for you.

“Yeah, it didn’t get me at all. Thank you.” You were utterly grateful he tamed that thing, otherwise… Otherwise you probably would be one of the bodies in the stretchers.

Heisenberg then buried his face in your neck, sighing. He sounded relieved.

“Thought I was gonna lose you there, buttercup.” He told your neck, his voice stuffy.

“I thought so too.” You confessed, also feeling relieved. “Do you care?” You had to ask, simply had to know if he cared even though he just saved you.

“Of course I do.” He answered immediately, but not rushing.

Knowing that was reassuring. You felt safe. You felt home. He felt scared for the possibility of your death and couldn’t stop holding you. You thought he was going to bite you like a zombie would, instead, he rubbed his lips on your skin.

You moaned with the touch. It was involuntary, but you felt that you made a mistake. First you tried to be his friend when both of you felt alone, then you would give anything for him to order you to take off your clothes like in that first day, but wouldn’t dare say that, you were getting too mushy.

“S-sorry…” You started apologizing, he let your neck go, but then his face was millimetres from yours.

“Don’t be sorry.” Karl firmly took your waist and put you up on the now clean stroller, your butt sitting on a wood box.

He had to have you. There was this urgent feeling on his stomach he couldn’t resist, it was being silenced for too long, since you arrived. That hunger took control of him and he griped your hair.

He is too strong, but you didn’t want to resist, at that moment, you were about to do whatever he desired, you had simply given up to it as you yourself were thirst for his touch.

The adrenaline was still running crazily through you, like you had been shocked, you thought it was even stronger than before, growing, driving you to hallucinate as you saw coloured lights dancing in your vision. Coloured, festive lights.

“Fuck, buttercup, you have a way to get to me.” He cursed, kissing you chin, making you moan again. “Oh, you are so hopeless like this.” Heisenberg laughed; his chuckles made your entire body resonate.

“Please, let me have you, Karl.” You found yourself begging, you would be on your knees if he wasn’t so close, taming you.

He stepped back, a tiny step so he could look at you. He was smiling, his eyes seemed to have fallen upon a prey, one he would treat with good manners. His hand reached your neck, pressing it, not too hard, but not softly, so you could feel his scars and you moaned to that.

He spread your legs with his knee, not gentle, not brutal, but demanding. You let him do it, feeling the blood down there. You felt a chilled object between your thighs, it touched your clit over your tight pants. It started rubbing as Heisenberg kissed every centimetre of your face and his hands wandered around your body, owing it.

You were soaked, your panties were completely wet at that point, maybe even more than the rain made before, and that metal thing kept rubbing your bud driving you insane. You moaned loudly, moaned like an animal and he joined you with husky groans.

You closed your legs around his waist and forced him to come closer. He cried out in pleasure, even though fully clothed. You felt him hard, so damn hard you thought you couldn’t take it.

His pace was getting faster controlling the metal stimulating you, it was feeling too intense, all your feelings mixing up with his sudden touch, the adrenaline running through out your body, his beard tingling your neck as he groaned, making your eyes roll in pleasure. You came the first time like that, your water wetting him.

You took his face in your hands and glued your lips to one another. The kiss was intense, you completely forgot to breath as his tongue met yours, playing rough games in your mouth. You had to scratch his skin under his clothes, to this, he arched his back, a warm sensation flooding his body as it felt held after so long, so glad to finally take you, so hungry to devour you, he couldn’t help but to feel he was close, not done with these games, but close to his first time in a while anyway. That was the time for him to cum. He held you tightly, burring his face on your shoulder, moaning like crazy and came in his pants. You came again, with him.

“God damn it.” That was all he could say, panting.

“For fuck’s sake.” You joined him, leaning your back on the stroller to rest.

The dancing lights were still there, lullabying you now that you both orgasmed. You were calm, calmer than you had never been, completely distant from the Soldat’s treat, the Village, anything. Nothing could reach you at the factory, nothing besides his scarred hands.

You thought it was over, but you still felt drunk with pleasure, willing to taste more of it, more of him. Karl had an idea. One that you would like. He took you in his arms, so easily you felt little while pressing your face to his collarbone, the electricity in your body giving you delightful goosebumps. You hugged his neck and your legs hugged his waist. He started walking.

At first, you didn’t know where he was taking you, then you recognized the path among all those look alike corridors. You two were heading to the soft torture room. It didn’t make you anxious, though. You were curious.

He actually walked there, not surfing any metal plaque. It didn’t take long to get to your destination. He made the door open with his powers, never letting you go even for a second like you were too precious to trust the floor to support you.

That room was the most organized room of the factory. You could see he started using that as a storeroom due to several cardboard boxes leaning against the walls. The gears and toys were as new. You doubted someone had ever used them.

The room was painted black, decorated with real swords, axes and chains, the last ones maybe could be of use. There was a whip rack with different whips that made you excited, willing to test them all, also, some toys and instruments were suspended on a metal board close to a Berkley horse. Heisenberg didn’t guide you to any of those, though.

“Do you think you can take it, kitten?” He whispered affably in your ear.

“I want to take anything.” You told him, sanguinely.

He chuckled and lead you to another piece of furniture. That one you had seen on history books. It was the wrist stocks. Usually, it would be made of wood, but his were metallic and would move as he desired, so you could alternate positions.

Karl let you go, gently, you stepped barefoot on the ground having lost your shoes at the stroller and he made you sit on a chair next to the stocks. You kissed for what seemed to be eternity, every single one of your senses being stimulated at once. He gruffly took his overcoat off, without untouching your lips and started massaging your nipples. You cried out in pleasure, feeling it drain on your thighs.

You drove him crazy. He was doing his best to be at least moderate to you, but you weren’t helping at all. Your groans made him be harsh, it was your doing, he kept thinking. He ripped your shirt off effortlessly, giving you a shock. Your boobs came out swinging, making him howl and burry his face on them. He felt welcomed by your warmth, consoled by your soft skin. He didn’t want to rise his nose from them, but he did in order to rend your pants.

It was a real relief to be finally free from your clothes. In that manner, you took his shirt off, laying your hand on his chest for a silent while. It was entrancing to be able to touch him like that, to feel his heavy breathing, strolling your fingers on his belly. But when you reached his pants and started unbuttoning it, he snorted and pushed you back.

“Not now, sugar.” He denied, smiling at your disconsolate face. “First things first.” Heisenberg added as he lifted you, placing you lastly at the stocks.

You saw how hard he was under those pants. His cock was begging to be tamed, to be treated, to be tasted. You could drool if your kept thinking these things, but you couldn’t help, it was centimetres from your face now and was certainly calling you. You inclined a little, he didn’t perceive, and gave a long, naughty lick on his cock, tasting the humidity there, trying the flavour of his cum. It tasted like “I want more”.

He groaned loudly, hopelessly. Heisenberg got a little annoyed by your disobedience and decided he could be a bit harder on you.

“Bad kitten.” He called you.

Your wrists were now retained, you were sitting completely naked on a massage bed and he still had his pants on which meant a little more play. Out of nowhere, nipple clamps flew to you and bite your nipples. You screamed in pleasure. It hurt a little, pressing your delicate skin.

Heisenberg was enjoying himself, maliciously smiling. At that sight, he had to touch himself. His hand reached his cock over the fabric and cuddled it for some time as he tightened the grip on your nipples.

After a while like this, he decided it was about time and his pants fell off, revealing a big, pulsating, needy rod on that made you moan on its homage.

“Now, kitten, show me you can take it all.” He said, approaching you, taking advantage of your opened mouth.

You finally had it, an explosion of flavours and sensation took command of you. His cum was sweet, now your favourite candy, his cock was almost too much for your mouth, but you proudly took it all on you salivating tongue, leading it deep down your throat, making a mess of saliva. A mess he loved. Heisenberg was simply howling in pleasure, his husky voice dominated by voluptuousness, he was roaring over the machinery noises.

If you kept going longer, he was going to cum on your precious mouth, would fill it with his god’s milk. But he wasn’t done with you. Oh no. He took his cock out of your mouth and you felt the bed leaning backwards.

“Lay.” Heisenberg ordered as he climbed your body, positioned between your legs.

You laid. He roughly rubbed his smouldering boner on your clit. You both groaned intensely. He played you a little more, then he started entering. Your pussy wasn’t used to it, to big things coming in and out of it like that, but it sure loved the sensation.

His thighs were pressed to yours, rubbing his hair body on your skin as he moved forward into you. You thought you were dead, nothing that good could be possible. But it was, you had him inside your pussy, reaching so deep as the bed inclination helped to get as far as he could.

At first, he tried to go steady, not willing to hurt you more, but as you moaned, he couldn’t help but burying his cock on you. You made it feel welcomed, hot and squeezed by your walls.

Heisenberg was losing it. You were losing it. You both moved in synchrony, the nipple clamps awakening every pleasure sensor on your body, feeling him entirely.

He invested inside you for what felt like hours of pure pleasure. You two sang the lust song together. Karl knew he couldn’t hold on longer.

“Now, kitten, you gonna have it.” He whispered between his teeth, griping your hair.

You hugged his waist with your legs, forcing him to stay deep down. He groaned, thunders in your vision. He was coming hot, plentiful, absolutely satisfied. Heisenberg came inside you and when he found the courage to step out and you let go your legs, cum drained from your pussy.

“Karl…” You could only mumble, panting.

“Kitten.” He answered, releasing your wrists and laying by your side.

He pushed you to his chest where you gladly laid your sleepy head. He cuddled your hair as your draw circles on his belly.

“It was the best thing I ever felt.” You said, at last.

“You had me there, kitten.” Heisenberg confessed, his heart racing. “You fucked me good.” He added, smiling. You smiled too.

Both of you were tired, sleepy. His cuddles made your eyes shut and your hug embraced him. You fell asleep in the soft torture room, on the massage bed. Naked and together, at last.

[fairymadnessyeah]

Remus’ Dream

Sequel to Roman’s Nightmare

Find it in AO3 too

"Really, Logan? You are a saviour, A hero. Call me if you need anything," Roman says, and is out of the door a second later.

It doesn't really surprise Remus. His twin brother would rather do anything than spend time with him. Which he could understand, he would rather die than spend more time with his twin. They already spent all their childhood together, and that had been more than enough.

Remus didn't need his plastic basic bitch of a brother to have a good time. However, he didn't want to spend it with nerdy wolverine over here. The guy, Logan was it, looked like a strict square and teacher. And no matter how hot he found that, it usually meant he was no fun at all.

"Here, one of our other roommates made these as welcome present," he says and shoves a plate of cookies on his hands.

He follows the nerd to the living room, and the two sit down on the couch in front of the Tv. He munches on the cookies like he always does, gulping them down by the handful while the other stares. Logan waits until he is done with the snack to talk again. "I believe that to be a good host; I should entertain you. What do you find entertaining?" he asks.

"I like to open up bodies with a sharp object and take out the insides," he smiles.

"I see," he hums. "Do you do a downward, horizontal cut from the pectoral area, or is it more efficient to do so below the external oblique at the side of the body?"

"I know, it's disgust- WAIT, did you ask something about it!?" he exclaims surprised. Nobody wanted to hear anything about what he said. Just because he didn't hide about the real world like his brother, Roman. He always preached about unicorns and dragons and happily ever afters. But not him. Remus knew the reality. People were made of meat tissues and squishy organs filled with blood, and they would die eventually.

But people were stupid, and they all prefered the curtain that his brother presented. Well, almost all of them.

"Yes, I wish to know more about you and your interest. I promised Roman I would keep you company. So, do you use a scalpel or some other type of sharp object to open up corpses? Of which I believe you are doing legally," Logan says.

"I-I do... I'm a forensic scientist," he answers, still shocked by Logan's reaction. "And the cutting depends on how the person died. The last time I had to open somebody top to bottom, it turned out the man had been suffocated to death by being made to swallow arcade machine coins," he explains.

"Fascinating! How do you know he was forced to ingest them, and he didn't do it by his own volition?" he asks, interested.

"There were signs of force on his skin," Remus tells him, dazed and with stars in his eyes. He is starting to love the fact that his brother left him with Logan.

The two keep on talking. They went from Remus' job, and somehow ended in a discussion over what chemical would be better for blood removal. As the time went on, Remus started shifting closer and closer to the tie-wearing man. He would get lost in the movement of his lips, and those framed blue eyes. And when he moved close enough that he could touch the other man, his hands gained a mind of their own, and wandered around the nerd, like spiders wander around the rotting corpse of a fly trapped in their web.

He had been flirting and filling the conversation with sexual innuendoes. But it seemed as they had no effect on Logan. The man was either completely clueless over Remuses advances, or uninterested and trying to be polite. Remus was now draped over the other. He had his legs over Logan's lap, his head leaned over his shoulder, and his hand playing with his tie. His voice was low and sensual, and being so close to his neck was so tempting. He just wanted to lean in closer and take a bite.

"Excuse my forwardness, but are you romantically interested in me?" Logan asks, looking down at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Maybe~," he coos, and giggles in a flirty way. "What are you going to do about it?~," he challenges, and sees something flash in his eyes.

"I'll say that I feel flattered, and that your advances are well received. I too find myself very attracted to you," Logan tells him, fixing his tie. "However, I believe we must put a temporarily stop at the moment, before things progress further," Remus opens his mouth to complain, but he is interrupted by Logan before he can get a word out. "Your brother is my roommate, and while he can be infuriating, I don't think it would do any good if he was to find us in this situation. Our house-hold harmony could be broken, and that could lead to problems. I believe our best course of action will be to wait for him and tell him that our relationship will proceed romantically one, rather than platonically," he explains.

"You don't need Roman's permission to date me!" Remus complains. "I am the only one who has the final say on who I fuck! And I think it's time we move further into the bedroom, and you further inside me~," he proposes, and changes his position to be sitting on Logan's lap. He grinds down to drive his point across.

Logan clears his throat before speaking again. "As delectable as that sounds, I must decline your proposition. The house-hold harmony must be maintained," he is about to take Remus off his lap, when the man with facial hair stops him.

"But, what if this is his plan?" he points out, making Logan stop in his tracks.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my brother is hopeless stupid romantic, and a wardrobe malfunction is not going to take him all day. He ditched us here for a reason," Logan hums, taking in what he is saying. "Maybe, he wanted to play match-maker. I'm new in town, and you are single, right?" Logan nods. "It's the perfect plan, don't you think?" he doesn't, for a second, think that Roman would do anything like that for him. But if he can convince Logan, that he might, then they might get down to  business .

"That quite the unusual plan Roman would come up with, but I can see how you might have arrived to such conclusion," he says, rubbing his chin thinking. "How do you suppose we should test this hypothesis you have created?" Remus grins get bigger.

"Well...~" he leans in closer, wrapping his arms around Logan's shoulders. "I might have an idea~," he whispers right above the other's lips, before closing the distance.

Logan both relaxes and tenses when their lips connect. His shoulders goes lax, but he holds onto Remus tighter. They don't synchronize well at first. But once they get a rhythm going, they just fit together. It's like finding the missing puzzle piece you been searching for years. Remus, who has been with his fair share of different partners, had never felt so much from just a kiss. He feels like pins and needles are stabbing him softly on his stomach. Logan's lips are hard but smooth, and he can feel how breathless he is due to the soft kiss.

When they separate to breathe, he can see pink dusting his nerd's cheeks and the dazed stare with which he looks at him. It is in that moment that Remus decides he is going to marry this man. No matter what his brother says, he is going to marry this nerd. Unluckily, his unrested body decided to cockblock him, and he let out a tired yawn.

"Are you tired?" Logan asks.

"Just a little, I been travelling since yesterday," Remus explains. "But it's nothing. We should keep going," he leans back in, but Logan stops him.

"We can continue this when you are better rested," he tells him with a soft smile, that makes Remus feel gushy inside. "Come, I will lend you my room for you to sleep," Logan takes him to the left side of the apartment, and to a blue door that had the name 'LOGAN' written neatly on the front.

"Have a good rest, Remus. I will wake you for dinner if needed," he tells him as he opens the door for him.

"Thanks, but before you go..." he wraps his arms around him, and gives him another kiss. The two get lost in each other's lips, and before he can stop him, he takes a bite out of Logan's neck, and then sucks on the skin. His nerdy wolverine is the most exquisite blood-red colour. He grins at his reaction before going inside the room.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When he wakes up, is to the sweet sounds of his twin brother in pain. He steps away from Logan's room, that smells like ink and crofters, and goes to the living room. All the roommates are there. The guy with the bakery is cooking, and the painter is looking down at his brother on the floor. Logan is putting his book back in the library and the hickey he gave him still red and proudly presented on his neck.

"So, now that he knows, can we have that D appointment?" he asks as he wraps his arms around Logan's waist. His brother lets out a pathetic wheeze, and the emo pats his head in comforts.

He's got to admit, moving here was one of the best ideas he ever had.

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – Changes - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – The Arena

A/N – I finally came back to this, my poor abandoned baby.  As usual, a special thanks to @rocksinmuffin​​ without whom, this story wouldn’t exist.

Warnings – Minor suicide mention.

Rating – T

“That is the cruellest thing I have ever seen you do,” Swerve glowered at you.

“It had to be done. There was nothing else for it,” You replied nonchalantly.

“RODNEY DID NOTHING WRONG.”

“He existed.”

“SO YOU JUST KICKED HIM OUT FOR EXISTING?”

“Look, you get to choose your Animal Crossing villagers, and I get to choose mine.”

“Abuse them, more like,” Swerve pouted.

“Fine, do you want to play on the switch and adopt an ugly-ass hamster who does nothing but bitch all day?” You asked, holding the console out to Swerve.

He took it from you, placing it on the tallest shelf in the hab-suite, “You can have this back when you learn kindness, you monster.”

“… That’s just mean,” You said, looking despondently at the shelf which was labelled No Man’s land. Beside the switch was a copy of Harry Potter which had been removed from you until you could read it without yelling at Snape every time you saw his name, and several pictures of Getaway which you had scrawled insults on; Swerve wasn’t punishing you for those, he just liked admiring them every now and then while you worked on new insults to scribble.

“Okay, fine, you can have it back right now, if you say that hamsters are cute,” Swerve grinned.

“Clearly, you’ve never seen one in real life. They work for the devil and steal people’s souls. I’m ninety percent sure that they also have armies ready to-”

Pain wracked your body and you woke up screaming to find your captors prodding you with weapons akin to cattle prods but much larger and stronger. It was the same creatures that had captured you.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?” You yelled through the pain.

The humanoids didn’t reply, staying eerily silent; you wondered whether they were even capable of communication in a way that you might understand.

“All right, that’s enough… For now,” A human called, stepping forward, looking completely out of place among the others.

Your captors backed away, leaving you alone with the human on the opposite side of the cell. You glared at the woman, who couldn’t have been older than thirty. She wore acidic green armour that bore a symbol of a decapitated robotic head with wires and cables sticking out from the neck; the ensemble made you nervous.

“So… You’re our newest contestant. How dull,” She commented boredly, examining you.

“Contestant? What do you mean?” You asked fearfully.

Once again, you were left without a reply as the woman pulled out a dictation machine and began talking into it as if you weren’t there. “Subject is of questionable build. A Minibot. No definable insignia – probably a NAIL. Presumably no fighting skill of which to speak. No weapon attachments that can be seen. One noticeable draw to the crowds is that it’s a female – a rarity in itself.”

“Oh my God, are you- Fuck, are you putting me in the hunger games?” You demanded incredulously.

“The bot uses organic terms in communication. It’s possible that it has spent much of its time around organic communities rather than with its own kind.”

Although you knew you could argue that you weren’t originally a Cybertronian, you decided that it probably wouldn’t get you very far with your captor; she was clearly only interested in her job, whatever that was. You doubted that you would get anywhere talking to her.

“So that’s it? You’re going to put me into an arena to fight? Did I get it right? Hey! HEY, I’M TALKING TO YOU. YEAH, BITCH WITH THE BAD HAIR, YOU!”

The childish attempt at an insult earned you a bemused glance, and the woman paused the dictation machine.

“You ought to mind your manners, or you’ll be in a much worse condition before the fight, and that will only bore the spectators,” She warned you.

“I’ll behave, if you at least tell me your name. I’d like to know who I’m insulting.”

Your roguish attitude earned a sadistic smile; it wasn’t every-day that your captor met a Cybertronian with any spirit left, “Lady Ouida.”

“Stupid name,” You murmured, mostly to hide your fear. “So I’m right about this being a colosseum of sorts?”

“Yes. You are to fight in the arena.”

“And if I win, I go free?”

“No. If you win, we kill you anyway. The people are out for Cybertronian blood after all.”

“Wow… That’s so fucking stupid. Like for real, did you take this out of a book? It’s not very creative is it? How many movies have you seen where the hero is thrown into a death ring to battle? Plus, there’s not going to be much of a fight. I mean, look at me. My arms are all fucked up from your bodyguards, I’m clearly not a fighter, and I’m like only three feet taller than you. Factor in multiple opponents and you get a five-minute fight, tops which will mostly be me running for my life.”

“You don’t seem too concerned with your fate.”

“Bitch, I am terrified, but I’ve seen death and been dragged back from it. I have defined the meaning of an out of body experience. Right now, I am competing with forces that you cannot even imagine in a brain that was not meant for me. In other words, there is nothing you can do that is worse than what I’ve been dealing with for the last forty-eight hours so GET FUCKED.”

The words PERSONALITY MALFUNCTION appeared on your visor, and you knew they were true. In your human form, you tended to avoid confrontation where you could. However, faced with the prospect of unavoidable death, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. There were only two options left for you anyway. Die in an arena, or wait for the Lost Light to come to your rescue. As you stared into the grinning face of Lady Ouida who had developed a sudden interest in you, you hoped it was the latter.

Chromedome sat miserably in the brig, having been put there for attempting to forcibly alter Swerve’s memory banks with mnemosurgery. He had lost count of how many times he had been in that exact scenario, where mnemosurgery was the only way forward, but nobody else would see it that way. How many times had Rewind refused to talk to him because of it? How often had he been forced to alter Rewind’s memory afterwards so he wouldn’t leave him? Chromedome held his head in his servos, thinking of Rewind. He wouldn’t believe it if Chromedome said it was all for Swerve. So what if mnemosurgery felt good, as long as it helped people it wasn’t that bad. Sure there were risks, but there were risks to all sorts of things that people did anyway.

With nothing else to do but think of his failure, Chromedome waited despondently in his cell, with the faintest of hopes that Rewind might deign to visit him, even if it was just to yell.

Ultra Magnus watched the security footage stoically from the computer panel in his office. As well as Chromedome, he was also watching Swerve, who had been restrained for his own safety and was sobbing loudly, screaming your name, and Whirl who was in the med-bay, awaiting yet another energon transfusion. Of the three, Whirl worried Ultra Magnus the most; he was not taking well to Ratchet’s surgery. He had damaged one of his internal components beyond repair and it was now up to Perceptor to create a suitable replacement. The replacement would undoubtedly need constant maintenance for the rest of Whirl’s life if he survived, but it was the only way forward.

Ultra Magnus looked up as the door flew open, and Rodimus came barging in.

“THIS IS A DISASTER!” Rodimus roared.

For once, Ultra Magnus didn’t have the spark to placate Rodimus; he was right, everything was going disastrously.

“WHIRL IS DYING. CHROMEDOME IS ALL KINDS OF MESSED UP. REWIND BLAMES ME FOR WHATEVER REASON. SWERVE IS SUICIDAL AND (Y/N) IS MISSING. Please tell me you have something that might help fix this mess?”

“I do not,” Ultra Magnus replied quietly. He had never felt like such a failure. Under his watch, everything had gone wrong. The Magnus armour was getting heavier every day; he didn’t deserve to wear it.

“FRAG! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? SHE COULD BE IN DANGER. THE ROD POD’S TRACKING SYSTEM IS FRAGGED. THE CREW ARE FURIOUS. THEY HAVEN’T BEEN THIS MAD SINCE-”

“OUT OF THE WAY, COMING THROUGH,” Nightbeat’s voice called in the corridor as he weaved through the few bots out there and made his way into the office with Megatron close behind him.

“Rodimus. Ultra Magnus,” Megatron greeted professionally, before gesturing for Nightbeat to take over.

“I FOUND (Y/N),” Nightbeat began ecstatically, completely missing the sombre atmosphere.

“What? How?” Rodimus asked, dumbfounded.

“I watched the Rod-Pod’s ejection from the bay and followed it through the security cameras. After that, it was simply a matter of predicting several plausible trajectory’s considering that (Y/N) isn’t a pilot-”

Rodimus waved his arms, “Forget I asked. Just tell me where she is.”

Nightbeat ignored his disappointment that the big reveal had been ruined; it had taken a lot of work for him to covertly listen to all the radio stations where you might have landed and then locate you from that. “She’s on a privately owned planet called The Arena.”

“The… The Arena?”

Megatron nodded solemnly, “Yes. My research tells me that they capture stray Cybertronians and-”

“Don’t tell me. They put them in the arena ‘cos they think that’s creative… Primus, that’s annoying. All right, plan time. We change course, go to The Arena, break in, rescue (Y/N) and make everything go back to normal. Any questions?”

Megatron took a moment to consider the plan, “How-”

“No? Great. Then let’s go. We’ve got work to do.” Rodimus transformed and drove out of the office to head to Brainstorm’s lab. He had brushed it off with his usual casual demeanour but just like everyone else, he was furious that anyone would want to hurt you. If he was going to rescue you, he would need weapons; the morally-grey kind that Brainstorm made.

Swerve sniffled, feeling pathetic as coolant that he couldn’t wipe away under his constraints dripped down his front. Yet another failed suicide attempt to go on his record; he couldn’t even do that right. He remembered the last time he had done something so drastic, when you had come to save him from himself; you had probably only married him out of pity. Despite the depressing thought, Swerve found himself unable to believe it. You had married him because for some reason that he didn’t understand, you loved him. The two of you had spent one year married and it had been the best year of Swerve’s life. When you brought up the idea of sparklings on your anniversary, Swerve couldn’t believe that life could be any better, and now after all of that you were gone.

Although Swerve longed to wallow in self-pity, he couldn’t help thinking of Chromedome. It seemed that his last conversation was finally sinking into Swerve’s processor. What was it he had said exactly? Swerve vented air through his systems, calming himself so he could isolate the memory file.

“YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT (Y/N)!”

While it was true that Chromedome could have just said that to stop Swerve from ending his life, there was also a slim possibility that Chromedome really did have new information about you.

Swerve kept replaying the memory’s audio, listening for the truth. As a bartender, he liked to believe he was good at separating lies from the truth, but when the other bots were sober, he wasn’t very good at it.

“(Y/N)…” Swerve whispered your name, wondering what he might not know about you as of that moment.

What if you had come back and he was wallowing in his cell, too wrapped up in himself to know about it? It wasn’t possible. If you were back, it didn’t matter what state Swerve was in; he would have been taken to you. Unless…

Swerve struggled to sit up, his processor racing with endless possibilities pertaining to your fate. What if he hadn’t been taken to you because your new body was failing? What if you were dying and Swerve wasn’t there? What if he was the only one that could help you?

Unbalanced as he was, Swerve managed to stand up. He started kicking at the door, yelling as loud as he could.

“HEY! GET ME OUT OF HERE! TAKE ME TO MY WIFE! TELL ME WHERE (Y/N) IS!”

Swerve didn’t pay much heed to what he was saying. All he cared about was getting to you, no matter what it took.

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[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Bodily Malfunction.”

I wanted to go ahead and apologize for no posting very much lately. I am going to be going back to school in the next few days, and had to get everything ready for that, so writing has been few and far between, but here is something little for you that will hopefully be funny and quick. 

They’ve said, since the beginning, that humans are the species with the greatest disconnect from their own bodies. They malfunction constantly like machines despite being one of the most complex and dangerous organisms in the galaxy. I would say, it is almost as if  they are machines who experience occasional glitches in their code, and all of this programming happens while their higher functioning struggles to communicate with the deeper functioning. 

As I have said before, humans are one of the only species in the galaxy to experience these issues, at least to that extent. And they all share these experiences.I find, the best way to get humans together, is to sit them down and let them explain to you why having a human body is the worst. 

A lot of these issues humans are about to explain may not even be glitches, but particular situations which annoy them greatly, and they all have in common. It is very hard to keep humans on topic when you ask them a question.

 Ok ok, but have you ever experienced that thing where you suddenly realize that you exist. Like you look at your hands and your all like, wow I am a thing that exists and thinks and stuff, and it totally trips you out Like seriously, no one does this. 

No one in the galaxy ever sits there and has an existential crisis about the fact that they exist and are a THING. It must be so hard to be a human constantly having issues all the time 

 I got one for you. Like how you walk into one room to grab something, forget what you wanted to grab and then walk out then realize what you wanted to grab just when you make it to the opposite end of your house and then have to go back and get it because you suddenly remembered. My brother says that’s just god playing sims and he just canceled your action 

Well let's talk about the biggest issues, like how your foot falls asleep, and hen as you wake it up it feels like your foot is full of TV static, and then if you say anything, everyone in the room wants to come over and poke you, and it's horrible. 

Ok does any of this just sound ridiculous to you. How can you FEEL static. This is so far beyond the level of my comprehension that I don’t even know what they are talking about. In fact, I am pretty sure that they just made this one up to mess with me.

No no, I got one. How about when you stand up from laying down and you vision goes black and you almost pass out.                                           Yeah no, I know what you mean. I fell over once because I was so dizzy   I had a friend that would just go right ahead and pass out.

I come to learn that the human body is such a disaster that, sometimes the body cannot adjust the blood pressure fast enough to get blood to the brain when moving from a horizontal to a vertical causing loss of blood to the brain. 

These creatures can be struck by lightning, and have their limbs ripped off, but ask them to stand up after sitting down for a long time and you may just be asking too much. 

Have you ever totally spaced out while driving your car or something and then once you reach your destination, you realize that you don’t remember driving there. 

Just a reminder that these people are flying spaceships We give them licenses, and they can’t even remember flying them. Just saying….. Just saying.

Ho about when you bite your own tongue or cheek on accident. I mean seriously, and it’s always out of nowhere. Like I’ve used my mouth for over 30 years and all of a sudden it forgets that I have a tongue in here. Like its stupid.

How about when you dream about having to pee really bad, and then you wake up and realize that you have to pee really bad.                                   I had a cousin who peed himself because of that. Never lived it down.

Ah and here they are without the ability to control their own bladders. Isn’t it lovely.

My favorite is when your brain thinks to fast for your mouth so you end up getting your words mixed up, like big truck turns into trig buck, and then you have to sit there and suffer while your brain tries to figure out what happened. 

Oh oh,  so you know how eyelashes are supposed to protect your eyes from getting things in them, but every time I have something in my eye it is ALWAYS an eyelash.                                                                                    I had a cousin who had that problem, accept it was with his eyebrows…. Yeah it was really weird, he had to shave his eyebrows daily.            Seriously dude, you have the weirdest cousins.

Have I mentioned that I think the human body is an absolute engineering disaster. Like seriously the fact that they are one of the most powerful species in the galaxy has to be some sort of cosmic joke. 

All of you are wrong, the worst thing about the human body is the pinky toe. I mean think about it. It has the highest likelihood of getting itself smashed run into or run over, and yet when you do it it is the singular most painful thing in the universe. Forget about childbirth or getting kicked in the balls, I think all of humanity can agree that stubbing your little toe really hard has only one plausible reaction…. The sudden and irrevocable desire for the sweet release of death.

Did i mention that humans are aggressively melodramatic? No…. well exhibit A 

Ok maybe this is too much information, but do any of you have this thing, where your body is so conditioned to seeing a bathroom that when you really need to pee and you walk into a bathroom your body is like ah, yes I can SEE a toilet therefore it must be fine to go NOW.  And you have to like double over to avoid peeing yourself IN THE BATHROOM thus increasing the time exponentially until you really CAN pee. I mean like seriously hold on for literally five seconds bitch.                            Anyone…. anyone …. No…. just me.

Again, as I was saying. The human body is an absolute disaster. No one else has these problems, not even close.

Sometimes I don’t know if my humans are having a stroke or not because they just start talking funny and it’s completely normal. Or how I think they are dying when they stub their toes, but sometimes when they get shot or have other massive injuries THEY DON”T NOTICE. Is anyone else here seeing an issue? Like maybe two of those things need to switch real quick. 

I mean seriously….

Seriously. 

Go ahead and comment about the other issues that you find with the human body :)

[moki-dokie]

sometimes friends and/or loved ones laugh at how i get winded so easily; not in malice, it’s never meant that way. the way friends just laugh at one another’s flaws more in a loving manner, if that makes sense.

and most times i laugh with them. it is absolutely ridiculous that i can’t carry 20 pounds upstairs without needing to stop for 10 minutes to catch my breath. i joke about how out of shape i am - and part of it is indeed because of that.

but then there are times like now when we’re moving and it’s only me and my s/o doing all the work bc the world is on lockdown, that it’s so much more than just being out of shape. i have pretty bad asthma - thank goodness not bad enough that i’ve ever had an asthma attack (or, rather, i don’t have anything that triggers them that i have come across. yet.) - but enough to greatly impact my breathing. i can’t get a full breath like normal lungs can. my oxygen intake is lower than the non-asthmatic person’s. i have extremely weak lung capacity. when i get winded, i can’t get enough oxygen circulating in my blood like there should be because i can’t get enough air into my lungs. when your blood isn’t oxygenated enough and your body is under physical stress, it starts putting stress on your heart and brain and every other organ. imagine how it feels after you’ve run a long distance or done some hard cardio and how your heart pounds so hard against your chest it almost hurts - that’s how it feels for me to exert myself a little. because i can’t breathe. and if i push myself too hard, which i often do, i’ll start to get dizzy. if it’s really bad, i’ll faint. because, again, i’m not getting enough oxygen. and it isn’t just a matter of not getting enough oxygen in, but asthmatic lungs can’t expel all of the co2 like healthy lungs can, either. gas exchange is being disrupted. ventilation is malfunctioning.

but we aren’t done yet. now try having DD/DDD tits. thats about 25+ pounds sitting directly on my lungs. but with tits this large, going braless while being physically active is actually quite painful, so now i’m wearing a bra, which, while i only wear the comfy no underwire kinds anymore, is still a snug fit to keep these stupid things in place.

i dare any cismen without asthma reading this, right now, to wrap your chest tight enough that you can’t get a full breath, strap something on your chest that weights 25 pounds or more, and then wrap another something around it that’s tight enough to be a second skin. go ahead and strap on some weight to your arms because you’re naturally going to have more muscle mass and thus upper body strength, so we gotta compensate for that.  do that and then go walk up and down stairs while holding about 40 pounds. for just 5 minutes. then you might have a slight understanding of what it’s like for people with asthma+big tits to do something that should be an easy task, but isn’t.

times like this it isn’t funny to me anymore. i’m not laughing. i’m desperately digging out my inhaler because the more stress and weight i put on my lungs, the harder it gets to breathe. i’m on the floor panting, feeling my heart throb in every extremity. i am out of shape, yes. that does exacerbate everything. but even when i was a healthy weight and underweight, even when i was a kid, this is what happened. it’s why even though i adored soccer, i had to quit. it’s why i could never even come close to qualifying for anything in track and field. why in PE I had to sit out the rest of the class after 20 minutes. why i can’t, and never have been able to, stand very high and humid heat (which is especially brutal because that is what our summers only consist of). why when i do go to the gym, i have to take things slow and have to be a bitch to personal trainers because none of them realize you can’t push an asthmatic person through intense cardio. and it’s a huge, huge huuuuuge reason why i want either a major reduction or complete mastectomy.

i don’t mind the playful jabs of being out of shape, but when i’m on my hands and knees heaving for breath, or leaning against a wall to try and keep balance while i’m panting, maybe don’t laugh. because it isn’t funny to feel like you’re slowly suffocating no matter how hard you breathe.

it’s one of those things sort of like mental illness. because people can’t see it, they dismiss it. no one can see my fucked up lungs, so clearly i shouldn’t be out of breath when i’ve hardly done anything.

also, just for further understanding for those of you who don’t have asthma.

this is an MRI of asthmatic lungs. all the dark spots are impacted areas of ventilation. meaning all those dark spots aren’t circulating air like they should. this patient was lying in an MRI machine, not under any physical exertion. These are how asthmatic lungs just are.

Now here is the same patient after a dose of albuterol (the medication in most inhalers). this is how healthy lungs almost look. it’s still not perfect, but damn close. this is how we should be breathing all the time, but can’t.

perhaps you would like something in color?

[vagrantblvrd]

Sky Factory Android Shenanigans is giving me so many ideas?

That super cliché sci-fi AU where Michael’s an android on the run (because reasons???) and he ends up on one backwater planet/colony somewhere. Parts on the fritz thanks to a run in with some black ops/assassination squad and he needs repairs but doesn’t know who to trust?

Broadcasts reporting him as, idk, malfunctioning and the whatnot and a danger to the public – do not approach or engage – and call the authorities if you see this unit.

(Unit, like he’s not a person anymore, had his autonomy stripped away along with his humanity and goddamn him for being stupid enough to trust whatever organization he signed up for that got him killed, turned him into this and fucked him over again with all the secrets it was keeping he hadn’t even guessed at before stumbling on them, hence the android on the run part of things? But yes.)

And then he overhears someone talking about this lunatic living on the fringes of whatever settlement he’s come to. Like something out of the true crime stories he used to follow when he was a kid – or is that just another implanted memory?

Shady as hell and rife with con-men and thieves and worse, perfect place to hide out for a while until his stupid body shuts down and he dies for real out here.

Half-blind most days because that shot to the head and it acts up at the worst times. Almost gets him killed a few times when some of those thieves and worse ambush him in an alley and it’s sheer luck he manages to get out of it without suffering more damage.

Anyway, anyway, he hears about this lunatic who’s supposed to be some kind of mechanical genius, right? Doesn’t run a real shop, lives out by the main scrapyard like a weirdo. People bring their busted machines and gadgets and the whatnots to him and he fixes them up nice and pretty-ish. (Cheaper than the officially licensed technicians near the spaceport and a hell of a lot more discreet to boot.)

So.

Michael makes his way there, half-convinced he���s walking into a trap but it’s take that risk or end up being a pile of spare parts in the guy’s scrapyard anyway, right?

And at first the asshole doesn’t even respond when Michael knocks on his door, pretends he’s not home or whatever and Michael’s just.

At the end of his rope and angry and defeated and he starts yelling at the fucker until his vocalizer glitches out, and that’s when the door snaps open, sending Michael tumbling inside where he lands on his face because his everything is fucked up and he doesn’t react fast enough.

Looks up to see someone staring down at him, implants and augments like whoa because no human has an eye that glows red unless it’s in one of those old horror holovids.

“What do you want?

Surly bastard, which lines up with the things Michael overheard before.

Loner who doesn’t really gt left alone because people need things, don’t they, and there’s not a lot of  money coming into a place like this. Old mining planet/colony where the companies pulled their operations out when the mines ran dry and only the worst kind of people come by anymore.

The few decent people left behind too poor to relocate, so it’s a shitshow and as someone with the skills to he has he gets visitors more often than he’d care for. (Customers or someone hoping to take what he has any way they have to, which explains the weapon in his hand and Michael’s almost to point he’d just let the fucker shoot him to be done with it, but.)

He stands up, servos and whatever else he’s made of these days creaking and groaning and this little flash of light that may be actual sparks coming off him and he sees the guy’s grimace at how bad off he is.

Like Jesus, if he wasn’t what he was Michael knows someone would have scrapped him a few planets back, but whatever.

The guy – Ryan, of course it’s Ryan – flips the lights on and they get a good look at one another.

Michael’s headed for a full-system shutdown and Ryan?

Looks like he’s been through some shit. Enough augments and implants that the legal system would be hard-put classifying him as human anymore, leaning past cyborg and dangerously close to being an android himself like some of those soldiers Michael’s seen who got caught up in the outer worlds skirmishes a few years back.

A lot of them look cobbled together from whatever parts he could find out here, which makes sense if the guy’s here of all places. (People don’t end up somewhere like here if they have resources to call on, you know? And no one ends up somewhere like here if they’re not in some kind of trouble, so. Yeah.)

They regard each for a long, long time.

Michael knows Ryan recognizes him, but he’s too tired to bother running – been doing too much of that as it is – and he wouldn’t get far in the shape he’s in if he tried

Last resort and the way that goes and Ryan sighs, gesturing for Michael to follow him and he does because what else is he going to do?

Ryan fixes him up, this long on-going process that takes a long damn time because Michael’s so busted up. Has this little helper bot he’s built out of old construction bots or something because its still sporting that distinct yellow paint job, little black and white stripe along its side.

Beeps and chirps and boops whenever Ryan asks it to bring him this tool or that, dig through the bins along one wall for parts or whatever. Hovers along just behind him when they’re not in the workshop/lab loyal little helper and kind of cute in a weird kind of way.

Ryan calls it E.D.G.A.R. and when Michael asks what the acronym stands for Ryan shrugs because hell if he knows, he just thought it was appropriate, which what does that even mean???

Ryan and E.D.G.A.R. dig through the bits and pieces he has stashed in his workshop/lab/lab, cannibalize worker androids – makes and models who didn’t start out as humans like Michael did – for some of it. Searches through the scrapyard to find parts he can modify for the rest.

Once he gets Michael functioning to a high enough level he can lend a hand Michael’s out there too, digging through piles of appliances and machinery and trying not to look too hard at the scattered android parts and chassis tossed in there too. (Some look too human, synthetic flesh torn and weathered from being unprotected from the elements for who know how long)

They don’t really get friendly, the two of them, but Ryan forgets to play the curmudgeon the longer he works at fixing Michael up.

Doesn’t ask who Michael is or how he ended up here, doesn’t seem like he’s waiting on the authorities to come claim him either.

Kind of a confusing time for them both because it’s clear Ryan’s got his own secrets, you know?

More than just some guy who picked up what he knows ‘along the way’, no.

There’s an order to his workshop/lab/lab Michael recognizes from the days right after those fuckers turned him into a machine, the way he works.

Meticulous as hell and so precise and just. More care than any of the hacks Michael’s gone to since he’s been on the run.

And then!

And then there’s – Michael doesn’t know when the shift happens but he bitches about something and Ryan laughs, quiet little huff of air and this tell-tale quirk to his mouth, and he gives Michael this. This look.

Something thoughtful to it he doesn’t really understand, can’t fucking compute, but who cares, right? Because Ryan’s less of a bastard after that, they get along better and Michael stops worrying Ryan’s just waiting for the right moment to turn him in, thinks his luck might be changing on him – so of course that’s when things go to shit.

Someone must have seen Michael before, recognized him and figured out he went to Ryan for help because the people chasing Michael?

They find him.

Assassination squad(s) and both of them unprepared for it and Ryan gets hit, gets hit bad.

More machine than man, but there’s still enough squishy human left to him that a bullet/energy weapon shot in the right place will kill him, you know? (Besides, all those augments and implants are hooked up to his squishy human parts in amazingly delicate ways and it’s real fucking easy to use that against someone if you know how.)

Michael doesn’t get away unscathed himself, but of the two of them he’s far more functional. And even though Ryan didn’t have the right parts and components to bring him up to factory specs again, so to speak, he did a damn good job with what he had on hand, you know?

There’s also the fact that the people who made Michael what he is now didn’t expect him to turn on them, thought they had a nice loyal dog in their hands and they made a mistake giving him the teeth and claws they did. All these built-in weapons because he’s a prototype, isn’t he.

New war machine to sell to the highest bidder and better than all those soulless robots people were using before because there’s a human mind in there capable of making the kind of decisions and choices and whatever else a simple computer program or AI could ever hope to. (Real fucking close to the complex sort of AI they’d need for that, but not close enough to satisfy the corporations or military forces who would commission them.)

So.

Michael gets them out of there, follows E.D.G.A.R. to this ship Ryan’s got hidden away – looks like shit but Ryan – stubbornly hanging on – insists it’ll get them to safety, just don’t fly them into the sun or a fucking planet, for Christ’s sake.

Michael gets Ryan into the medbay which – surprise, surprise – looks like a smaller version of Ryan’s workshop/lab/ than a medbay, but who cares at this point.

Hooks him up to machines to keep him alive until he can give him proper medical care and gets them away from any pursuers.

When he goes back down to check on Ryan it’s to find the asshole directing E.D.G.A.R. to open up this   pod on the wall. (Looks more like a casket.)

Human shaped and something about it unsettles Michael who demands to know what’s going on, because Ryan shouldn’t be doing what’s he’s doing.

Seriously injured and lost a lot of blood and any normal human would be dead by this point, and Ryan.

He sighs, gives Michael this look because they both know he’s not going to get better from his injuries, you know? Squishy human parts all fucked up and augments and implants malfunctioning worse than Michael had been when he went to Ryan.

Only a matter of time and Ryan knew something like this would happen one day – all the things Michael was careful not to ask Ryan the same way Ryan didn’t ask Michael because secrets. (And Plot Reasons, but c’mon, you know how this works by now.)

E.D.G.A.R. cracks the pod/casket open and oh, wow, surprise, surprise there’s an android body inside it.

Looks a hell of a lot like Michael’s, but this one is a little bigger, bulkier. Looks like an older version, one that was modeled more after the construction androids, used for heavy labor and the whatnot. No synthetic flesh cover its frame, all powered down and waiting and -

“Don’t do this,” Michael says, because Ryan thinks he knows what he’s doing but he doesn’t.

He doesn’t.

(Michael doesn’t know what else they can do, but this - there has to be another way.)

Ryan gives Michael this sad little smile and it’s horrifying because internal bleeding and everything else, and he’s just.

“Michael,” he says, and he sounds so tired. “Why do you think I knew how to repair you?”

Because Ryan didn’t end up in some backwater planet/colony by accident, you know?

Doesn’t know the things he does because he read about it somewhere or had a job working in a goddamned repair shop on one of the inner worlds.

None of those easy little lies Michael kept telling himself, no.

Ryan used to work for this corporation, big on advancing science and all that bullshit that had major funding provided by the military and so on and so forth. People real interested in cutting down on human bloodshed and what better way than to create machines to do it for them?

Things went wrong along the way, and they got desperate as project after project failed to live up to expectation. (Some key component missing and it wasn’t until someone decided morals and ethics were oh so troublesome they made any real headway.)

People like Michael and accidents here and there, soldiers offer a second chance and there’s an experimental program that hasn’t been revealed to the public. Dangerous, of course, but -

Some people got a choice in the matter, sold their souls for that second chance. Others like Michael never had that luxury.

And Ryan, oh. He was part of that, wasn’t he.

Designed the androids because the science of it all, but he never expected things would lead where they did.

Got to watch as his creations were used in the worst possible ways, saw the early days where human brains couldn’t cope with the transfer progress. Breadth and depth of what makes a human mind (soul?) shoved into a computerized/cybernetic shell of its former self, most without warning and the fallout -

Most committed suicide, some went mad. The others had to be destroyed as they decayed.

And Ryan.

He tried to expose them, did what he could and it almost, almost worked.

But one man against a vast conglomeration fueled by greed and corruption and it almost killed him. (Should have, maybe that would have been better.)

He had a handful of augments and implants before everything went to hell to help him in his work, but afterward.

Well.

Squishy human bodies are just that, aren’t they. Get injured so badly they can’t be fixed and he ended up needing more and more until he might as well have been one of those androids he created once upon a time. (Poetic justice to it, or so he thought when he bothered to think about it at all.)

And anyway, anyway, that doesn’t matter at this point because it’s either transfer his squishy human brain-stuff into the waiting android frame or die.

Before all this, before Michael, Ryan might have chosen death. Figured it’s what he deserved for his part in things, no way he can expose the people responsible when he’s failed before, but.

Michael makes him want to try.

(Ryan knew, you see, while he was fixing Michael that the idiot would go right back out once he was done and try to do the impossible. May have drawn things out longer than he should have to prevent that from happening because he likes Michael, okay? Too much, maybe.)

This isn’t the way he saw things going, but he doesn’t want to die now. Doesn’t want to leave Michael alone to fix Ryan’s mistakes. (And maybe it’s not all on Ryan to fix, but who else is going to do it?)

So.

Michael hates it, hates it so much but he does what Ryan tells him to do. Gets him hooked up to the right machines, boots up the right programs and whatever else and watches Ryan die as he turns himself into an android.

He doesn’t know why Ryan’s doing what he’s doing, thinks it’s because he doesn’t want to just fade away into nothing, but Ryan tells him later.

Tells him everything as he’s figuring out how his new android body works, the two of them following gossip and rumors surrounding this broadcast someone’s sending out about the people responsible for making Michael what he is. Things said people are trying to shut down, shut down hard, but can never catch.

He tells him and Michael listens and it’s not easy, God is it ever not, but they come to an understanding  or something like that.

Ryan didn’t know, not for the longest time and when he did he tried to do something about that, and that has to count for something.

(He saved Michael’s life or whatever the hell you’d call it when he turned up on his doorstep, and that counts for something too.)

And just.

Michael’s got his own mistakes too, okay.

So.

They figure things out, and Ryan fixes up his android body so its face looks like his human one and he maybe upgrades it, Michael laughing at him when Ryan goes on and on and on about laser hands or whatever the hell. (Ridiculous and impractical as hell, but goddamn does it sound cool.)

Also, also? Ryan doesn’t have the combat training/protocols Michael does so ~training. Partly to get him used to how his new body moves, partly because they don’t have access to adequate things at first and Michael runs him through the basics, right?

And he teaches Ryan how to compensate for it when his targeting whatevers are on the fritz and Ryan proves to be a better shot than Michael? (New ways to bring old cliches and tropes into play, is what I’m getting at here.)

Those moments where Ryan comes up against the limitations of his new body, realizes what he’s lost when he chose to become an android and Michael just being there because he’s the best person to understand what he’s going through?

The two of them becoming this amazing team over time that is an actual threat to the people after them? (And E.D.G.A.R., because Ryan is too damn fond of the bucket of bolts.)

They run into assassination squads and whatever else and finally, finally find the source of the broadcasts and of course it’s Matt and all these misfits and outcasts with grudges against the assholes after Michael and Ryan and it’s just.

Shenanigans in space as this group of supposed space pirates/smugglers/criminal types take on a corrupt corporation because reasons.

Also, yes, totally FAHC AU in space, but different ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

================

More of this AU with Jerevin this time???

[snarky-badger]

Oooooo—an Ultron idea for you!! Reader works at a computer store, and recently stuff has been going missing. But there's never any alarms, and the cameras just keep malfunctioning for no reason. It's just a mystery, until one night she's closing and forgets something inside after locking up. Instead of having to turn everything on and back off again, she just uses her phone light except now it seems like a horror game, and suddenly she gets the feeling that she's not alone anymore.

I had fun with this one. Again, its open ended in case someone wants more.

Sorry for the day and a half of quiet from me. Been distracted.

There was nothing you hated more than getting blamed for something that wasn’t your fault.

For three weeks, after you closed up the Best Buy you worked at, things - laptops, processors, motherboards, various circuitry and parts - had gone missing. Of course, your boss blamed you, as you were the last one in the store. But there were cameras everywhere, and you’d been filmed multiple times, closing up shop and leaving without the stolen merchandise, so there was nothing he could do.

Still, it irritated you.

It wouldn’t happen at the same time, either. There was no pattern, no reason. There weren’t any parts showing up on eBay, or in pawn shops. And every time, the cameras showed nothing. Naturally, you’d thought that someone had merely looped the footage, but your boss, the supposed Mr. Know-It-All, had waved your idea aside.

You’d been tasked with putting extra security tags and stickers on every box, every computer, sometimes doubling up the tags - it was an insult, you usually worked at the Geek Squad desk - but you weren’t in a position to argue, so you did it. Honestly, you were doubtful that it was a walkout thief, the cameras and security scanners at the doors would have caught them.

You boss had even put chains on the loading dock doors and back doors every night, and it had been interesting to watch him fume in the morning when the chains were found neatly coiled up on the floor, the padlocks locks sitting atop them.

Honestly, everyone was baffled. You were mainly pissed, but what could you do? Nothing. That was what. Someone was getting in, and there seemed to be no way to stop them short of hiring a twenty-four-hour guard - but corporate wouldn’t spring for the extra money.

So things continued on like that for another two weeks, your boss almost having an aneurysm every morning and the employees taking bets on who was responsible - there was a rather large pot going on. The top guess was a ghost, of all things. Your money was on some hacker desperate for parts.

But you kept your nose clean, and away from your boss. Closed up every night, waving at the cameras, and then heading to catch your bus.

Until one night, you forgot your MP3 player in the office.

You cursed, lowly, and headed back inside, not bothering with the overhead lights as you used your phone’s flashlight option to guide the way. Passing through the isles to the back offices was eerie, like something out of a Doom game. You half expected to have something jump out at you as you stepped into the pitch black office, but nothing came.

Shaking your head at your own stupidity, you grabbed your MP3 from it’s spot next to the computer you’d been debugging and deleting porn viruses off of, then headed back out, locking the back door behind you - you didn’t dare leave it open, the safe for all the cash was back there. You’d never hear the end of it if that was stolen.

You were heading back to the main doors, cutting through the gaming isle, when something rustled in the rear of the store. The light from your phone illuminated about five feet of space around you as you spun towards the sound, your heart in your throat.

Fuck, was the thief already in the store? You couldn’t be sure over the sound of your breathing and heartbeat, but you thought you’d heard movement, footsteps.

Shit, now what? Run, and get fired for not protecting the store? Call the cops?

But if you called the cops and it was nothing, you’d be a laughing stock.

Well, fuck. You’d have to check it out.

You weren’t being paid enough for this shit.

Hands shaking, making the light from your phone wobble dizzyingly, you headed towards where you thought you’d heard the noise, biting your lip to stay quiet. Wove through the isles, trying to keep your footsteps silent. Which, you realized, was useless, considering you were holding a bright shining beacon telling everyone where you were.

Giving up on stealth, you quickened your pace to the back of the store, hoping to either surprise the thief or at least just hurry up and figure out what was going on so you could leave, please and thank you.

You turned the corner, leaving the camera isle and heading into the isle with the external hard drives and walked right into a wall.

Cursing, you stumbled backwards, tripping over your own feet and landing on your butt on the floor. Your phone clattered to the tiles, spinning, the light dazzling you for a moment. When it stopped, you looked up and gaped.

There was a giant metal man staring down at you with glowing red eyes.

Naturally, you screamed.

Abandoning your phone, you scrambled to your feet and ran. Got, maybe five feet away before darkness enveloped you and you slammed face first into a massive display of radio controlled cars.

You hit the floor, a car bouncing off your head, as you sprawled across it’s numerous brethren, and out the door went your decorum. “Son of a bitch! Fuck!”

Heavy footsteps approached you. You were too addled to move, especially when you reached up to pull yourself to your feet only to have the rest of the display topple onto you.

“Are you alright?”

The slightly metallic, yet rich, voice that came from the metal man towering over you made you blink. He was carrying your phone, angling the light so it wouldn’t blind you. “You’re the thief.” Oh yes, brilliant deduction Sherlock. Fucksakes. “The fuck, man! I keep getting shit over the stuff you take!”

Crimson eyes blinked down at you before a laugh rumbled out of him. “Ah. You’re the one that closes up the store. Wasn’t expecting you to come back in. I thought you’d gone for the night.”

The calm, conversational, tone of his voice threw you off. “Forgot my MP3,” you grimaced, wincing as you shoved toy cars off of yourself. “I’d call the cops on you but no one would believe me.”

“I’d rather you didn’t. I…. Well, there’s a reason I’m ransacking a Best Buy instead of stealing top of the line parts. What’s the saying? I’m trying to keep things on the down-low?”

You squinted up at him, blinking when he crouched down. Close up, you could see that he had a sort of red cloak on him, a feeble attempt at hiding his metal form. Tiny metal pieces, like an intricate puzzle, made up his amazingly expressive face, crimson eyes like camera lenses focusing on you.  "What, not a fan of eBay?“

"That would require an address. Besides, seeing your reaction, it isn’t as if I can stroll into a Post Office and rent a mailbox.”

“It’ dark and you scared the crap out of me,” you snapped in your defense. “I was expecting some moron in a ski mask not Megatron’s mini-me.”

Another chuckle left him. “Can’t say I’ve ever been compared to a Transformer before.” He tilted his head at you curiously. “Do you need help getting up?”

“What I need–” you paused to kick at one of the boxed up toy cars that were scattered around you. “Is a drink. I hope to hell you already looped the cameras, because I don’t want this clusterfuck plastered all over the lunchroom.”

Those crimson eyes of his widened a little. “Well, well. And here I took you for a run of the mill retail worker.”

“I am and overqualified run of the mill retail worker. I’m just not as stupid as my boss. Or my co-workers. There’s a betting pool going on over you. Half the staff thinks this place is haunted.”

He laughed again. “Well, I could try skulking around.” He grasped the edges of his ‘cloak’ and held a bit over his face. “Phantom of the Best Buy? Though I think I’d have trouble trying to get an organ into the basement.”

You snickered. “We don’t have a basement.”

“Hence the trouble,” he straightened, rising to his full height, towering over you again, then held a hand out to you. “Here, up you get.”

You hesitated a moment, then took his hand, gasping when he lifted you up onto your feet as if you weighed nothing. The fingers around yours were warm, not cold like you’d expected for a man made out of metal, and you felt him give you a gentle squeeze before letting go.

“There we go. Nothing broken?”

“Nothing but my pride.” You sent a look at the scattered remains of the display. “I’ll clean that up in the morning. Y'know, if you need stuff in bulk, we got a shipment of parts in today. It’s still in the back.”

One metal brow arched upwards. “Aiding and abetting a criminal now?”

You shrugged. “What the hell do I care? Boss’ll just blame me for it anyway and make my life hell whether you take it or not. Sides’ I figure that if someone as advanced as you obviously are is stealing from a Best Buy that you’re kinda desperate, so go for it.”

“Advanced?”

“I figured that calling you a robot might be rude. It’s the best I could come up with.”

“Ah. Well, thank for that then. Being called a 'robot’ is a rather touchy subject.”

“Hence the vagueness. You have a name or….?”

He shifted a little. “If you don’t know who I am, then it’s probably best that I don’t tell you.”

“You realize that I’ll just start googling 'giant technologically advanced metal man’ as soon as I get home, right?”

A very human sigh left him. “That’s not a good idea. Not unless you want SHEILD and the Avengers banging on your door.”

“Fucksakes. You’re big time, aren’t you? Fine, fine. I’ll drop it.” You ran a nervous hand through your hair, then blinked when something occurred to you. “Y'know, you’d be better off ransacking the warehouse the next town over. It’s one of the main shipping centers for all the stores in the region. Loads of merch there compared to the low stock here. Probably save you a few trips.”

He blinked. “That wasn’t listed on the directory I found on the servers.”

“Wouldn’t be. It’s just a warehouse, not a store.”

“Hm. And you’re alright with this? Most people wouldn’t be helping me.”

“I prefer to think of myself as different than 'most people’. Also, I get paid minimum wage, no benefits and my boss is an asshole. My loyalty to this place vanished about three months ago when they denied my sick leave because I wasn’t full-time.”

A disgusted noise left him. “It’s deplorable how this country treats it’s retail workers.”

“You have no idea. Speaking of, I’m going to be late to my other job. Gonna need my phone back.”

He eyed you a little warily. “No photos.”

“Pfft. As if I expect you to hold still long enough for a shot. Also, you could probably drop-kick me across the store, and I’m not a good flyer.” You made a little 'gimme’ gesture with your left hand, smiling  a little when your phone was deposited into your palm. “Thanks.”

He watched you quietly as you checked it enough to insure that you hadn’t broken it when you’d dropped it earlier. “It still works, don’t worry.”

“It hit the floor. I worry.” Deeming it alive and well, you tilted it so the flashlight would still illuminate your odd companion without blinding either of you. “I need to go. Remember, all the good stock is in the back.”

“…Thank you.”

“Welcome.” You turned to leave, pausing when a large hand landed on your shoulder.

“Wait.” He sounded hesitant, and he was watching you again. “I have a crazy idea.”

“Does it involve me getting arrested for property theft?” you asked with a raised eyebrow. “Because I’m not really into vertical bars and I hate the colour orange.”

“Trust me, I can keep you safe. How would you like a job?”

“…a what?”

“You’re on the Geek Squad, right? I cross referenced your name with the employee roster. So you have at least a basic knowledge of computers and operating systems.”

You had no idea where he was heading. “Yeah?”

“I need another set of hands to help gather some supplies. Someone smart enough to be able to build a computer from scratch. And maybe a little help searching through that warehouse.”

That implications of that made you hesitate. You may have been lax about a giant metal man stealing from your workplace, but becoming a thief yourself… that was something completely different. “Why would you need me to help you build something? I mean, hell, look at you. You don’t need me to put a system together. If you can hack into the servers, you sure as hell are more than capable of dealing with some hardware.”

“True. But at the moment, I’m still just one person. I can only be in one place at a time. Which is… irking, trust me.”

“…can I give it some thought?”

He looked surprised that you were even going to consider it. “Of course. Here, pass me your phone for a moment.”

You did so, watching as he pulled a cord out from his left forearm, connecting it to your phone. The screen flickered a little, and you worried, before he hummed in satisfaction and disconnected from it again. “I upgraded your security and added a new app. You can contact me with it when you come to a decision.”

Blinking, you accepted your phone back again. “What kind of security?”

“Ah. The untraceable, unhackable kind. Don’t want just anyone contacting me, after all.”

A smirk tugged at your lips. “Telemarketers?”

“Telemarketers. Trying to convince me that my computer needs servicing.”

The dry, unimpressed, tone of his voice and the absurdity made you laugh. “Yeah, okay, you win the 'most annoying telemarketer’ award. Tell them you don’t have a computer, it makes them go nuts. Alternatively, tell them you’re from IT and you intercepted their call due to a problem, get them to confirm the type of phone they’re on , then google the reset setting and get them to follow the instructions. It’ll fuck up their phone for a week.”

That pulled an actual belly laugh from your odd companion, and you grinned when he mimed wiping a tear from his eyes. “Oh, that’s cruel. I love it. I’ll try that next time.”

“It’s highly entertaining on a petty level,” you grinned, waving a little as you turned to leave. “I’ll call you in a couple of days. I just need a bit of time to wrap my brain the insanity of this situation.”

He chuckled again. “Take your time.”

“See you around, Mr. Thief.” You left him behind as you headed for the front of the store, going through your interrupted custom of locking up the store. It was only when you were waiting at the bus stop for your ride to your next job that you took a good look at your phone blinking at the new icon that had joined the others, your brain power screeching to a stop at the name of it.

Jesus wept.

“ULTRON?!”

[kdinthecity]

Zutara Week 2017: Confessions of a Teenage Sugar Queen

The title is a throwback to a movie I liked when I was in high school, so that is the voice I’ve chosen for this AU. (Not Lindsay Lohan’s from the movie, just me trying to channel my inner teenage Katara...)

All of my @zutaraweek submissions will be part of one continuous story. Get ready for some slow-burn Zutara angst starting with Day One: Fire Lady.

“I can’t wait until summer!” A blur of orange brushes past me in the school hallway. “I’m gonna go hang gliding and kite surfing and eat ice cream for breakfast and donuts for lunch!”

That would be Aang. He lives with his head in the clouds on most days.

“Let me guess. Cream puffs for dinner, Twinkletoes?”

Toph is pretty solid for a freshman. She keeps Aang grounded when he starts to get too flighty. I like hanging out with them, but sometimes their immaturity annoys me. I can tell this is one of those moments. No one can eat dessert all day. Talk about a serious sugar crash.

“What about you, Sugar Queen?” Toph asks.

I don’t know why she calls me that. OK, maybe I suggested once that I could survive solely on fudgsicles and moon pies, but that was only after that bad breakup with Jet. Toph elbows me hard in the ribs, her usual gesture for getting my attention.

“Oww! I have plans this summer, alright? I can’t just goof off. I’m going to get a job and do something that matters for my future!” I hate how haughty that sounds, but I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. I hurry past them before I say anything I might regret.

“Geez, what’s with her?” Toph mutters. Aang sighs airily in response.

They just don’t get it.

I’m the only sophomore to participate in the school’s summer internship fair this year. My brother calls me crazy. Well, I think he’s crazy because as a junior, it’s his last opportunity to gain this experience for college applications. Yet, he’s blowing it off to go fishing in Alaska with Dad. Maybe Sokka will end up taking over the family business, but I know he’d rather pursue engineering than commercial fishing.

The truth is, Dad cannot provide for our college tuition with his income. Sokka doesn’t think about these things, but I do. I’m getting an internship this summer so I can help pay for stuff like clothes and school lunches. And then hopefully I’ll get a scholarship for a top tier school like Atlas University. I will not be a burden to anyone.

“But what do you mean I can’t get any of the paid internships?” I am nearly in tears as I approach Principal Pakku.

“I’m sorry, Katara, but you’re under the legal working age. You can apply for one of the volunteer positions.”

“I’m a hard worker! And a straight A student!” I want to add that I’d do a better job than half the junior class.

He folds his arms across his chest. “Rules are rules.”

The pale blue of his suit starts to blur in my vision, and my bottom lip trembles, but I refuse to cry in front of this man. “But I'm turning 16 this summer!” My birthday is actually at the end of August. Had I not gone to Montessori kindergarten, I would be an entire grade younger according to the age cutoff for public school.

Ms. Yugoda, the school nurse, senses my distress. “Katara, sweetheart, it will still look good on your college applications, and it will help you land a top notch internship for next year. You still have time.”

“But, I need… the experience.” I will not beg for money.

“There’s nothing I can do.” Principal Pakku claps his hands and rubs them together as if that settles the matter. “I’ll put in a good word for you. How about… the zoo?”

I brush the back of my sleeve across dampened cheeks and stomp my foot. “I do not want to be scooping up ostrich-horse shit all summer!”

The principal’s expression is scolding, but I can’t stand the look of pity Ms. Yugoda is giving me right now. Before I have a chance to apologize for my outburst, Ty Lee sweeps in from the adjoining door that leads to the nurse’s office.

She hooks a bandaged arm through my elbow and escorts me out into the hallway. “What’s an ostrich horse? Sounds… magical!”

Her high-pitched giggle grates on my last nerve. An ostrich horse happens to be an imaginary animal from this fictional world I created. Sometimes I write about characters with amazing abilities to bend the elements. For me, I've always wanted to control water—like command the waves, summon the tides. My earliest memories are of Mom at the beach, so…

“Katara?” The knitted brow and slight frown look out of place on Ty Lee.

“Sorry.”

“You can always join the circus with me!”

“Right.”

I should have asked her what happened to her arm, but apparently I am too self-absorbed today to care about my friends.

“The Marine Science Center has a few openings. Here, take a brochure and see if anything interests you. We are a non-profit organization, so we can’t pay our interns unfortunately, but sometimes our students come back to work for us after they graduate.” The woman has an almost ethereal look about her.

“So… I wouldn’t be cleaning up seal sh—poop? I mean, it’s OK. I just don’t want to do that the whole time.” I cringe, but she smiles.

“No, no. That’s not really a valuable learning experience, is it? I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Yue.”

“Katara. Nice to meet you.”

“So, we have a position that works with the medical staff. Most of the marine animals we treat are sick or injured, so we nurse them back to health, tag them, and set them free. Another position studies the water, looking for contaminants and identifying potential threats, like factory pollution, for example. Then, you can work on a government petition to shut those facilities down or enforce environmental safety regulations. And lastly, we have a group that goes to schools, summer camps, and museums to talk about all these things.”

I skim my fingers across the panels of the tri-fold brochure as she speaks. Rehabilitate. Advocate. Educate. I always swore I would never go into fishing, but this is different. I care about the environment. I even organized a beach cleanup day as a community service event for the honor society. (This is how I know the juniors are lazy dipshits.) And I want to be either a professor or a doctor when I grow up, so the experience would be relevant. I take an application, give her my best smile, and express my sincere interest in the positions.

I sign up for a few other things before deciding I’m done. There isn’t much interest in the unpaid internships, and my eyes are drawn to the crowd on the other side of the gym. The largest group gathers at the table for Future Fire Technology. I've heard quite a bit about the company because the CEO’s daughter is in the honor’s track with me. Azula talks nonstop about how the former weapons company has rebranded and now manufactures cutting edge robotics. I couldn’t care less.

Azula will undoubtedly secure a position at her father’s company for the summer. She’s ambitious like that. Her brother, Zuko, will likely work there, too. He strikes me as different somehow—not really the corporate type. He’s not one of the half-assed juniors, though. He’s still pretty intense. I’m a little intrigued by him, but Sokka warns me to leave him be. Well, Sokka can’t tell me who I can and cannot talk to… I just wish I could get up the nerve to… oh monkeyfeathers!

“There aren’t many sophomores here, y’know,” a voice rasps. Zuko is standing right here. Talking to me. Sokka says he never talks to anyone.

“I, uhhh…” I want to slap my forehead for being such a blubbering idiot.

“I saw you at the Marine Science Center table. Sounds cool, huh?”

He was… watching me? The pink that rises to his cheeks would indicate that yes... yes, he was. I'm dying to ask about that mysterious scar across his left eye, but I guess that won’t make the best first impression.

“Katara,” I say.

“What?” he asks, his single brow raised in confusion.

“I’m Katara.” I hold out my hand like a dork.

“Oh, right. Sorry. Zuko.”

We are now shaking hands. Like dorks.

“And yes.” I clear my throat. “The Marine Science Center looks cool. I hope I get it.”

The results are posted the following week. With everyone crowded around the bulletin board outside the gym, it feels like we’re clamoring to see who’s made the basketball team or the cheerleading squad. I’m the only sophomore and of average height, so it takes me a while to wiggle my way to the front so I can see.

There are three names listed for the Marine Science Center.

Me! I got the position I wanted!

Then, Hahn. I don’t really know him, only that Sokka hates him, which should be interesting.

And… Zuko?

I scan the crowd for his unmistakable face, but he’s nowhere to be found. I can’t help but notice the red-clad crew off to the right, however. Azula, Ty Lee, and Mai are all on our school’s beach volleyball team. Either they just came from practice, are headed to a game, or just want an excuse to wear their uniform. Two seniors, Ruon Jion and Chan, hover nearby, enjoying the view. Ty Lee offers a shy wave when she catches my eye.

“Congrats to the newest Future Fire Lady!” Azula salutes Mai.

The dark-haired girl simply huffs. “But Zuko won’t be there. He got some stupid job at a water park.”

I fight the urge to march right up to her and emphasize how respectable and meaningful the Marine Science Center internship is, but the look on Ty Lee’s face stops me. Her bottom lip protrudes in a full-on pout, and I remember that she told me about Mai’s childhood crush. Apparently it is one-sided, and everyone wishes she would just get over it. Mai's scowl confirms that I should let it go.

“Of course Father wouldn’t give him a job after the equipment malfunction last year.” Everything Azula says comes out like a sneer. “He’s such a disgrace to the family. We need someone who is competent and level-headed in the company, Mai. Not lovesick and forlorn. Should I retract my recommendation I made to Father?”

Even though she’s shaking her head, I swear I hear Mai mumble bitch under her breath. For some reason, I am mesmerized by the exchange. The crowd finally thins out as everyone heads to class. With only two weeks left of school, the summer will be here before we know it. And I will be nursing injured seals back to health with Zuko?

Toph nudges me with her elbow. “Hey Sugar Queen. Watch your back, will ya?”

“What? Why?”

She’s gone before I can ask what the hell she’s talking about.

Chapter Two: Underwater  |  Chapter Three: Steamy

Chapter Four: The Fall

[nitality]

Depressions

Ok fuck it. Chester Bennington, a fucking big part of my childhood passed away on 20th of July. I struggled the past few days because this is a fucking deep shock for me even tho I don’t show it. But the reason I decided to come here to my fucking blog and write my thoughts down is because I’ve been reading comments. Well, we all know where this leads. There are a lot of dumb and ignorant people out there. But man I got sick reading that literal fucking bullshit that some people write. Just imagine taking some time off of your day to just write a stupid fucking comment on a video or a post that drags the person down that just fucking died. What kind of moron are you? I’m fucking shocked and deeply disappointed. And I swear to God it aint that easy to make me this mad. Now listen, I do have some words for you ignorant fucking people out there thinking that depression and suicide is “weak” and “cowardly”. People say there or other ways out. People tend to say that depressions are just an act or some fucking thing that you can get rid off if you visit a therapist. Well, here are some news for you. It’s not something you get rid off easily. It’s an disorder. Your brain is an organ just like your lungs or your heart. And guess what it can be sick, too. It can malfunction, too. Or just to put it easily if you still don’t understand: !!YOUR BRAIN CAN ALSO STOP WORKING PROPERLY!!! Holy crap this must be mind blowing for you. And now think again. Does your heart perform properly if it has an illness? No? What a fucking surprise. Do your lungs perform properly if they malfunction? No? Huh. DO YOU SEE A PATTERN?! So does your brain!!! DEPRESSION IS AN DISORDER OF YOUR BRAIN!! I won’t describe what it feels like to have depressions. You can do your own research which would be recommended so you can finally understand that your are wrong with every point you made you insensible fucktard. Let me pick up on some of the bullshit comments I’ve continously read. “Suicide is the easiest way out” Are you kidding me? Do you really think it’s that easy to live with a voice in your head that will tell you for months or even years that you have to kill yourself to get release? Do you think it’s easy to prepare yourself for death? For the pain you will feel? Do you think it’s easy to live without a will to live? I don’t think so. THERE ARE PLENTY MORE THOUGHTS THAT WILL BRING THE REASON WHY CLOSER TO YOU. You can’t just turn off those thoughts. AND FUCK YESS YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR DEATH AND PAIN IF YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO KILL YOURSELF BUT GOD DAMNIT THIS IS PART OF THE DISORDER AND UNAVOIDABLE! “There are other ways out. ” Oh no shit Sherlock?! Of course there are plenty of ways out! But think the fuck again. Try to get into the mind of a depressive person. You see only negativity, right? A lot of self hatred, right? There is no sight of cure, right? There is this loud and domestic voice in your head telling you to end your suffering.. weird huh. We slowly kill ourselves.. by bombarding our selfesteem and lowering our self worth drastically.. it just doesn’t work if you try to fist fight this huge ass wall your thoughts built in order to get away from shit.. slowly trying to escape reality and slowly cutting off every contact to the world out there.. I built this wall myself and it will be the death of me. Those people don’t see the world with the same eyes as you do. Remember this. “You left your friends and family behind.” Oh fuck no. There are so many things wrong with that. The reason people kill themselves is because they don’t want to disappoint them anymore!! They don’t wan’t to be a burden to them!! You think that’s stupid and not logical at all because family and teue friends will love you no matter what? THAT’S THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH DEPRESSION!!!! YOU CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT, YOU WILL MAKE EVERYTHING LOOK NEGATIVE, YOU WILL ALWAYS THINK THAT THEY WILL HAVE A BETTER LIFE WITHOUT YOU!! DEPRESSION.IS.NOT.LOGICAL. So stop using this argument against them! Depression is one of the few things the human brain can’t control. It’s like a wave washing all over your. You are slowly and painfully drowning in it. HERE IS TO ALL OF YOU LEAVING THOSE KIND OF COMMENTS: Shame on you. Not only for talking bad about dead people but also not even trying to understand what those people with depression who killed themselves went trough. I strongly believe into faith. Hope it will get to you someday. I would wish you good luck with your life but man it must be hard out there for an ignorant bitch. Luck won’t help and so won’t God. And last bot not least: Sometimes I feel like we still have to talk to people as if they were children. Oh God how I wish for humanity to finally think around the corner instead of just straight forward and ignoring so many aspects that could finally open their eyes. I just sometimes wish we would put down all of our pride and have more love spreading around the world instead of hate. Maybe disorders like depressions wouldn’t happen as often then.. _____________________________________ Small disclaimer: Im mostly speaking for a lot of people I’ve dealt with. Everyone’s depression is different and has different reasons and coping mechanisms which is another point why this illness is incredibly hard and nearly impossible to cure.

[minato-arisato]

my fallout children!! a friend of mine wanted me to talk abt them so i figured id just drop them off here so i could keep it documented

Rowan - Rowan’s a dealmaker, a businessman, a con artist. He’s interested in keeping himself in a position of affluence among the wealthy and powerful of the Commonwealth, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that. He’s slowly turning into a Ghoul from a lifetime spent in the radioactive wasteland and a strong addiction to chems, particularly Jet and Mentats. Despite this, he’s thrown his lot in with the Brotherhood of Steel - not out of any personal investment in their cause or morals, but out of a belief that they are simply the most organized, well equipped, and ruthless force in the Commonwealth, and that they are stupid enough collectively that he can hoodwink the lot of them. He’s hiding his condition as best he can, that image is one of the few times he’s ever been caught not wearing his sunglasses, but soon he’ll have to deal with the inevitability and obviousness of his fate.

Jerry - Jerry’s just a guy. He’s a good guy, and he wants to help folks, and that’s about all he’s got going for him. He has a little farm he tends to a little ways out from Diamond City, where he always has a bed for weary travelers and some caps if they’d like to help around the place. Since his wife died during a raider attack, he’s kept mostly to himself, but he has a strong sense of right and wrong and helping others, so when he sees problems he has to try and fix them. I’ve only just started playing him, but I think he’ll probably side with the Railroad, because he’s a good guy.

Princess - Princess is a stone cold, ruthless bitch. Let’s just get that out there right out of the gate. She’s cruel, callous, conniving, and several other words that begin with C that are bad. She ends up leading the Institute as Madame Director, and immediately begins her insidious subjugation of the Commonwealth for one simple purpose: Princess likes power. She loves being in control. Most of all, she loves it when the people she has power over fear her above all else. She uses her position within the Institute to create an atmosphere of fear and complacency, and also imperiously wields the Minutemen as a “luxury” form of protection for the dwellers of the Commonwealth - most people shut up and give tribute for the Minutemen’s protection these days, those that don’t either disappear or find themselves at the mercy of the elements as their settlements are destroyed by the dangers of the wasteland.

Princess 2.0 - Second time around, less of an evil bitch this time. This Princess is a Synth designed to the specifications of Shaun’s wishes after his real mother dies in a Vault 111 malfunction while still in cryo-storage. Strangely hurt by the loss of a mother he never knew, Shaun obsesses over this replacement endlessly, but when she’s finally complete, he ends up dropping her in the middle of the Wasteland with only the vague memories of a fabricated pre-war past and Shaun’s own kidnapping from the Vault sixty years previous. Instilled with what Shaun believed was the perfect mixture of determination, adaptability, ruthlessness, empathy, and compassion, Princess was fine-tuned to survive in the wasteland, and ultimately adjusted to the dangers of the Commonwealth the best out of all of my characters. She ended up becoming a mercenary for most of her time on the surface, taking odd jobs from whoever would pay for her services, and gained a bit of a reputation for her cool temperament and deadeye talents with a shotgun. When she arrived at the Institute, she didn’t exactly take control, instead acting as a sort of enforcer, much like Kellogg before she killed him. With her programmed deep love and loyalty for Shaun, she willingly goes against many of the moral values she developed during her time spent free on the surface at his request, and continues to do so at the behest of the board of directors after Shaun’s passing - convincing them to lead the Institute as a group rather than arbitrarily appointing her as Director, though she still holds the title in truth due to Shaun’s quest. She’s usually a pretty good kid.