#I was even debating going back to therapy but the prices...the money | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arcane-ish · 3 years ago

Text

This is a lengthy too rambly response to a variety of things from the post of

@chapstikcrazy

And as I finished it I realized that it was way too rambly and going over the same points over and over again, so I will try to make a second version of this that groups the responses more into general themes :)

The original post said

silco is literally the healthiest parent out there

No qualifiers. Not "considering the circumstances".

I would argue Silco isn't even the healthiest parent in Arcane, let alone the world. Even in Arcane I would say only maybe Ambessa Medarda gives him a run for his money. But we never see Caityln's father do anything wrong and while Jayce's mom, Caitlyn's mom and Vander all make clear parenting mistakes I would say they are all firmly in the "debatable" category (since Silco also makes parenting mistakes).

You wrote:

I don’t think it’s fair to label Silco as a healthy OR unhealthy parent.

The original post put him in the "healthy" category or even the "healthiest". I personally think good/bad person are limited concepts, but I do think that there are good/bad decisions and actions.

(Caitlyn's and Jayce's parents both have the luxury of living in Piltover btw, closest parallel would be Vander). P

Ekko and Viktor are also both from the undercity. In lore, Ekko has loving and supportive parents. So do fellow Zaunite teenage characters Zeri and Seraphine who in lore are all around the same age as Jinx. It's totally possible to have normal "middle-class-y" parents in Zaun provided you aren't I dunno engaged in being an active mob boss or revolutionary.

I read recently in a YouTube comment someone talking about how adopting older children is really difficult (and that their trauma can sometimes be really difficult if not impossible to fully tackle as their guardian) and that Silco probably did the best anyone could have done in that situation.

I deeply disagree with this. Now, I have always objected to the take people had "oh, he should just have taken her to therapy" because I consider it unproven that therapy even exists in their world or that it is any good if it exists. However, I don't buy that even under the guise of "we sit back with all the knowledge we have about parenting now" he couldn't have seen that his style of parenting isn't the best.

IMO the core problem of Jinx is the isolation she grows up in. That she has no friends her own age. That she has no additional parental figures. That she has no allies to take care of her when Silco is gone.

Yes, adopting a teenaged child is hard. But a healthier person, somebody who is not a virulently paranoid quasi mob boss would have looked at the situation and deduced that maybe he needs help. Silco doesn't do that. Because he is paranoid and doesn't trust anyone. He imposes his isolation on Jinx because he is unable to meaningfully break out of his own (emotional) isolation with anybody other than Jinx.

Can you imagine being given a PRETEEN as your VERY FIRST introduction into parenting?? It would be insanely hard.

Agree. That's why a healthier person would have sought help. Silco is somebody who has the means to get help (as in "hire a nanny" not "get her therapy"). He doesn't. Because he is both distrustful of others and has a high opinion of his own skills.

And yes, his position as a mob boss revolutionary means that betrayal is a real threat. That's why if you have the health of a child at heart then maybe you would consider 1.) stop being a mob boss and run away to a more peaceful place or 2.) not raise her. Give her to somebody more peaceful than him and pay them money.

But Silco doesn't want to give up his lifestyle or Jinx. And she pays the price for this in dysfunction.

You know nothing about parenting number one and number two, you know nothing about this child that is 11-12 years old. AND it’s his first kid? I mean, he’s BOUND to screw up, but not because he wants to or for some malicious reason, it’s just GOING to happen. And without this basis of information for raising children, he probably doesn’t really know what boundaries he should be giving her in the first place because maybe he doesn’t feel like he has any right to impose those boundaries ON her.

Again, that's why a healthier person who is not virulently distrustful of others would have sought help. And Silco isn't stupid. He could look around and see that normal kids have friends their own age.

I have had this discussion before on whether Silco is generally good with kids or whether he had good or shitty parents. I tend to say: I head canon that he must have had terrible parents/no parents, because the only way his style of parenting isn't intentionally horrible is if he has no frame of reference. (which makes his actions understandable but also makes him uniquely ill-equipped to adopt anybody)

And "have friends their own age" is something he should be aware of just on account of "he was a child himself at one point" and "he can look around and see how other children live".

And now, we do not know for a fact that Silco never tried to organize playdates between Jinx and let's say the kids of other chem barons and they all rejected her and were mean to her. But looking at him? With how he acts around her? Do you really buy Silco as doing that? Or isn't it much more likely that he never did because it either never occurred to him or because he doesn't trust anybody.

The fact that Jinx might not have wanted this doesn't mean that he shouldn't have tried in a sensitive manner. Being a good parent isn't about never evaluating what your kid says. If your kid wants to jump off a bridge because they think they can fly it doesn't make you a bad parent to go "uh... maybe you demonstrate to me in a safe environment first?" or "how about we go paragliding instead?" doesn't make you a bad parent. Just like indulging your kids in things that are demonstrably or forseeably bad and unhealthy for them doesn't mean you are a good parent.

I think he did the absolute best thing any SURROGATE parent FIGURE could have done FOR JINX

As I said, I deeply disagree. He could have taken the money and moved out of Zaun with her (Ionia, Demacia if he doesn't want to live in Piltover). He could have given her to somebody else better equipped to raise her than somebody who lives an intensely dangerous life AND according to you is deeply fucked up by society and lacks any frame of reference of what makes a good parent. He could have hired a person who actually has a frame of reference of what makes a good parent to take care of her. He could have identified people who seem like good parents and asked them for advice.

The reason why he doesn't is because he has a pathologically narrow view of the world and this is how he is causing Jinx harm by locking her into this point of view.

He taught her the things he felt would help her be strong IN THE SOCIETY THEY LIVE IN. When you live in a violent, cutthroat, insecure society, being strong and cutthroat is a strength. It’s how you survive.

Except allies are important in that kind of society and he does not teach her how to play well with allies. Jinx's style of violence is considered a problem even in their society and he does not restrain even though this causes Jinx to be even more isolated. She lives by his protection and with him gone is completely isolated. Because he always preached to her to not trust anybody.

Silco saying not to trust anyone fed into this, I think a bit, but she was always going to have trust issues

Just because she might always have had them doesn't mean that it wasn't his duty as a parent to at least try to fight them instead of feeding into them and cementing them. I have been pretty adamant in various more Vi centric posts that I think a lot of Jinx's problems and tendencies were at least nascently there before he found her, but that doesn't mean that he is in the clear just because he might not have caused this behavior.

It's still the job of a parent to at least try to gently and supportively steer against behavior that is harmful to the child itself.

Yes, he told her not to trust anyone, but that has served him in the past. I mean, hell, look at what happened when he did trust someone. // And he wasn’t going to teach her anything else with his background.

I agree that he believes it, but that's exactly what I mean with 1.) he is uniquely ill-equipped 2.) his traumas/him not being able to see past his traumas stand in the way of being an actually, factually good parent to her in a variety of ways/situations.

Imposing these “he should have done” and “he’s an awful parent because” stuff is so dumb to me

LOL, I have written an entire post on this on why I think it is completely valuable to discuss "what would have been better". I do this for example with Vi all the time (ie should Vi have stayed on the bridge instead of Ekko? Should she have left and gone back to Zaun after she got Caitlyn off the bridge? Should she have gone back to Zaun after delivering Caitlyn to her parents?) And I have told Vi fans till I'm blue in the face, just because I think it's worth looking at those situations and why they might constitute "walking away from Jinx" or "prioritizing Caitlyn over Jinx" or "prioritizing revenge over Jinx" doesn't mean that Vi is a horrible unforgivable person.

You can’t teach something you don’t know, and you can’t give what you don’t have.

Which is the whole point here. His intent can still be good, but his factual effect can still be instances of bad/harmful parenting. Silco could have been 100% percent well intended, but the fact could still have been "Jinx was worse off due to his parenting".

And remember the whole justification for Silco even having had good intentions is that you have to buy into the idea that we was extremely blind and ignorant about just ... reality.

2. He (and the world they live in) lacks BASIC emotional/mental intelligence, there is no such thing-in this world-as therapy or mental support of any kind outside of the people you know. Again, we don’t know what Silco’s upbringing was, but looking at the man he turned out to be, I’m going to go out on a limb and say he wasn’t raised in a loving, supportive household, IF a household at all.

Agreed. That's exactly the point of "he is uniquely ill equipped to raise anybody and his own issues and traumas stood in the way of him giving Jinx the best care he could have given her". Which is why it's a tragedy. But the aspect of "this caused him to give her bad care in some areas" is still there.

Again you started out with the argument of "Silco probably did the best anyone could have done in that situation.

To which I say: no, obviously a Silco with more basic emotional intelligence or who had a loving supportive home life probably would have done better. (and yes I think there is probably a decent range of "normal" people in Zaun who would have maybe done comparatively okay, just like I think that Jinx would always had many challenges and pains in real life and it's not unreasonably that she would have ended up in some sort of life of crime in many different universes where Silco didn't have her, I don't think that it was mandatorily that she would have always ended up exactly the way she ended up, violent, remorseless, bad with allies, hostile against potential future allies, uncontrollable).

He could have found other ways for her to be useful, but...as he is a crime boss, crime is just kind of part of the territory.

Again that is my point. He could have done that (find other ways to be useful), but didn't. And it's a shortcoming of his that he didn't that he didn't find other ways for her to live out her destructive tendencies without exposing her as much to the wrath of others. There are less exposed jobs he could have had her done that wouldn't have exposed her so much and put her into the position where she slaughters 5 Firelights in front of her former friend Ekko making her a crapton of new enemies. But he is so locked into his limited fucked up world view he fails to consider the longterm downsides for her.

She COULD have made friends at any point. Maybe she just didn’t want to reconnect with anyone from the past or didn’t want to make new connections because being left by Vi didn’t leave her any desire to make new friends?

How do you know that she could have? If he is constantly telling her the world is betrayal and everybody is out to get them? And yes even if Jinx is the one who avoided contact with others: if your minor child is being antisocial I do think that it is the job of the parent to try and coax her out of it.

The way he screws up here is he brings his own abandonment issues into play.

Which is precisely the issue. His own abandonment issues blind him to what is best for Jinx. His own mental health issues stand in the way of doing what is right for Jinx. His hangups are the reason why he is ill equipped to be her parent. His hangups are also the reason why he can't see that and why he doesn't ask for help to compensate for the areas where he might be lacking.

His issues cause him to cling to her, which is an unhealthy parent-child dynamic that is experienced as stressful for many children and even if Jinx might not experience it as a bad thing doesn't mean that it isn't harmful for her (and I do think that some words of Jinx imply that she is not just happy with the situation).

But I do not think it is representative of a repeated pattern of Silco not respecting Jinx’s feelings, just in this, again, huge instance when he feels insanely threatened and scared.

See, I disagree. I think Jinx's isolation from others and what she talks about in regards to him always pushing the Vander story on her suggests that this is a long term pattern of theirs. I don't think that that magically popped up in episode 5.

But of course I read the scene where Silco picks her up as heavily "he did this because he saw himself in her" and the fact that he still seems to be doing it years later makes me extrapolate that this was likely are factor for at least many periods of their relationship.

People really love to say he projected his feelings onto her. I just do not see that. I really don't.

Again, this is what Jinx says. That's how he made her feel. And Jinx complains about him going on and on about Vander before the dinner scene, at the beginning of the baptism scene.

For the record: I do think that the baptism is well intended, not particularly hostile and not a big deal. I don't have a problem with it.

Projecting his issues comes mostly in how he treats Vi as a threat and insists she must be like Vander and Jinx should treat her correspondingly.

You can have an over-dependent or co-dependent relationship without that. // hahahahahahahaha rip silco, those abandonment issues got u by the throat

Agreed, And over-dependent and co-dependent relationships are very problematic even if they are not emotional incest. And Sico and Jinx have one of those co-dependent relationships. And that is on Silco that he clings to her obsessively to the extent that he makes the mistakes you listen. Which again, makes them have a fairly unhealthy parent-child relationship and again he not doing the "best anyone could have possibly done". Maybe Powder would always have been overly dependent on anyone, but the "co" part is on Silco. That's how he makes the relationship more unhealthy. Again, his abandonment issues standing in the way of being the best father he could be to Jinx, giving her the best relationship that is feasible in that situation.

And we are back to: Silco's specific heavy hangups (that are not just generic "oh, everyone in Zaun has those") are what make him a particularly poor choice to parent.

but I really don’t think Silco was an abusive or manipulative or "toxic" or "Bad for Jinx" parent.

I think they have an unhealthy co-dependent relationship. So in that sense he is a "bad for Jinx" parent. She would have been better off he had not been like that.

There is definitely a debate to be had whether he was still "good enough", but imo it's very clear that yes he could have been better in various minor ways.

So yeah, I guess I have a super lax view of Silco. Maybe my glasses are too rose-colored.

I think you have an extremely positive read on what their relationship was like before episode 4 and I just don't think that relationships become co-dependent overnight.

Coming at this as a parent, I just feel like…parents who love their kids, they screw up.

This I actually agree with. I think there are limits how perfect a parent anybody can be and anybody can look like a terrible parent if you overanalyze each choice.

I also think that "It turned out to be bad advice, but I genuinely thought that it was the best idea based on my information at the time" (ie when I encouraged you to study literature I thought that there would be jobs there when you are done) is a thing.

But at the same time ... I also think there the borders between that and genuinely problematic can be fluid.

Let's say a parent who grows up religious and sends their gay child to "Reformation/Straight Camp". And they do this because they genuinely think that this will save their soul and that that is an important thing.

At what point is this still normal parenting and at what point being a good parent requires you to either listen to your kids needs or being willing to broaden your worldview and listen to opinions outside?

(ie break out of your religious worldview and listen to the opinions of people who say being gay is okay)

IMO times come where being unable or unwilling to break out of your worldview is what causes you to do abusive and harmful things to your kid.

Heck, I think the majority of what everybody would consider abusive parents, ie the kind of beat their kids, likely were like that because they were ill-equipped, ie because they got married too young, because they grew up in abusive homes themselves, because they were traumatized at war.

In those cases, it's a moral challenge to ourselves to balance " something bad still happened" with "the person was a victim too/the person had their own challenges".

I tried to talk about this here that just because I say "thing X was probably bad" doesn't mean that it's an overall judgement on the character or the relationship and that the only deserving "punishment" for doing the bad thing would be banishment forever.

he just saw something threatening their bond and was falling back onto his defense mechanisms of manipulation and fear tactics as an “OH SHIT I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO USE!”

If this is your take on the situation, isn't it worth questioning (1) what does it say about their bond that it is so drastically threatened? That they don't have the kind of bond where he is confident that Jinx would reject Vi or that Jinx would maintain his relationship with him even if she reconnected with Vi? (2) why doesn't he have anything else to use.

Could it be that his toolkit is woefully limited or that he didn't do a good job of laying the groundwork for other tools?

There is something so beautiful to me in watching broken people love one another.

I do think that there is beauty in there, but IMO Silco's biggest "crime" as a parent is that he locked her into that. That he didn't just keep her from Vi but also isolated her from others/let herself isolate from others.

Yes, he has abandonment issues, but him being not being able to look past that is what result in him being very flawed as a parent. Part of being a good parent is being able to love the kid more than you love yourself, putting her needs beyond yours, understanding your own limits, getting help, being able to back off if needed etc.

The point came where he would have had to be the better person and think about sharing her, but he couldn't he was too selfish or damaged for that.

You can say that he is not morally at fault for it because trauma/mental health issue/it's larger than him, but even if he is not "at fault" it still leads to him do bad/harmful parenting onto Jinx.

I actually do like their relationship, you can look through my blog I spend a lot of time debating with Vi fans in defense of Silco.

But even as a fan of Silco, IMO it's clear that he fell short for her, even in the context of his own morality.

And I also think, as much as I like the relationship between Silco and Jinx, Vi clearly is a HUGE deal for Jinx. It's deeply important to her. And I don't think she is lying about this when she talks about during the dinner scene. I think she demonstrates his amply in all her actions regarding to Vi.

And to me that points towards Jinx having a deep craving in her life that Silco was NOT properly addressing and filling. And that's what makes it more to me than just "oh, he misreacted for 5 minutes and said one problematic thing to her.

Here are imo the show hints that I interpret as the relationship between Silco and Jinx was fraught:

1.) I take her words about Vi at the dinner mostly seriously. No, Jinx is not a reliable narrator. But to me I still see a girl who expresses a deep yearning.

A yearning that Silco was not able to properly address. As I said, I don't really fault him the baptism. But I see a girl who didn't just start missing Vi magically in episode 4.

To me Jinx comes across like a girl who had this craving and grief for Vi which she couldn't properly discuss with Silco.

IMO likely because he did shut it down with "Vi is just like Vander, don't miss her" talk or because she didn't bring it up because she thought he would do that.

Jinx feels like a girl who has this thing (her yearning for Vi) and feels like she isn't necessarily being heard. (and I think that is believable even under shimmer because we see traces of it before Shimmer, not strongly worded ones, but still straces)

Again the "sane" and "perfect" parent route (which I don't expect Silco to do, but I still think there is value in setting up a baseline of what we are talking about) would have been:

- see that Jinx/Powder is struggling with this (and with that I mean like "within the year where he took her" not "when he sees it in episode 4")

- encourage her to open up

- listen to her positive stories about Vi too and acknowledge that her feelings on Vi are more mixed than his feelings on Vander

- under the assumption that Vi is dead, encourage her to grieve properly

- try to make this something you share and build upon

- understand that even though you think that hating the person who betrayed you made you a stronger person, you are not her and maybe for her "your sister probably didn't mean it, it's not her fault that she ran off and got killed" might give Jinx/Powder more peace

And under the influence of all that when Vi comes up again, understand that this topic needs to be handled in a more delicate manner.

2.) I think that Jinx's willingness to kill herself and Ekko on that bridge rather than let herself be captured (where Silco could have likely have bailed her out) is a huge red flag and couldn't have been in Silco's interest.

If your daughter is suicidal, that might be a sign that you should finetune your parenting.

3.) While Jinx was under the influence of Shimmer and that should be taken into consideration, I do wonder if the fact that Jinx was so willing to misinterpret Silco's words isn't an indicator that part of her feared that he might be using her or that he would sell her out.

A lot of what Jinx does even while Shimmered seems to be an amplified version of what she feels.

So who is to say that he did not have her feel 100% secure and that's why she was so quick to conclusions?

I honestly think Silco did the absolute best he could with the tools he had

Yes, but his tools were uniquely unsuitable because he is uniquely damaged even within the setting. And part of his damage is being blind to his damage/his weaknesses.

And that was beautiful and perfect to him because that IS Zaun—not letting the world and your shitty circumstances get you down, being strong and standing tall in spite of the crappy world around you and despite your brokenness.

That is Zaun, but who is to say that Jinx is the perfect way to live it. Ekko also lives Zaun and embodies Zaun. So does Viktor. And if you accept game canon so do Zeri and Seraphine.

To me it seems to be an inheritance of Silco's world view that this amount of violence and brutality are mandatorily part of this. Ekko has seen at least some amount of brutality and Ekko isn't helpless.

It is his worldview that this is the only way to live despite the fact that people around him do live differently. And this is the point where we have to question whether Silco's worldview is correct.

I tend to think that all of the presented worldviews are likely flawed.

I do think that

1.) Silco's worldview that making Zaun independent is this amazing great goal is very flawed because it does not address systemic problems and just because you slap independence on it doesn't mean that people magically live better lives.

I think Jinx's story of being oppressed and hassled by others and doing and experiencing violence because of it is still very possible in an independent Zaun ruled by chem barons.

So I don't think that his way of viewing the world ensures a better life for the next generation of Jinx-es.

2.) Even if he thinks "no, it's great that Zaun is still violent and oppressed by chem barons, that is important for character growth and strength" that is a highly problematic point of view to take morally. "I'm going to intentionally cause harm to something in the interesting of some dubious concept of strength".

3.) I think in the end Silco as a villain was hurt by the stance that made him unnecessary enemies in the Firelights and within the chem barons.

Again, a willingness to break out of a toxic worldview and question your worldview is I would argue a very important factor as a parent.

And Silco being very locked into his worldview is one of his weaknesses as a parent and I think "he just has a realistic perspective on Zaun" is highly debatable.

(and even if it was 100% true, it would still show the strength of character to question and reexamine it on occasion, something that I don't think Silco does/only starts doing by the very end of the show when it's too late)

He taught her the things he felt would help her be strong IN THE SOCIETY THEY LIVE IN. // Obviously, from our perspective, that is not a healthy thing to teach a child, but again, what kind of society do they live in?

Again, this is based on his very narrow and skewed world view on what this society is like, what the proper reaction to this society is and what constitutes strength. For the record: I don't think Vander or Ekko's views on this matter are perfect either and like I said I think a big deal isn't just whether your view on reality is correct but also to what extent you are willing to question and adapt it if necessary.

IMO some amounts of rigidity of worldview (unable to let go of the betrayal, unable to let go of Jinx, unable to see Vi as anything other than a threat) are baked into him as a character and that is a problematic trait for a parent in his situation (which again doesn't mean that some amount of rigidity and conviction and confidence aren't good traits, it's always a matter of circumstance and dosage).

And don't get me wrong, particularly as a villain I think it should be acknowledged that he learns at all (I read a really interesting take that a defining feature of many villains is that they don't learn, while I don't think that this is true of all villains, it is an interesting way to think of a lot of villains that their problem is that they don't learn or learn the false lessons from setbacks), but within the circumstance, it seems like a "too little too late" thing.

I do not think that people shouldn't like Silco or his relationship with Jinx. I don't think that there is anything with taking positive inspiration from the parts he did well.

But I also do think it's worth discussing the way he was lacking and where he might have gone wrong and the parts you maybe don't want to learn from him and the parts where his approach probably led to problems don't the line.

And I do think that his problems as a parent are more complex than "he lied to her a single time". A relationship doesn't just become fraught overnight. It takes years to build up to that point.

You can see him as a flawed person and learn lessons from the things he did well, but also by firmly questioning and rejecting the things he failed to do well.

People are complex, they can have good sides and bad sides, good traits and bad traits, good traits don't make the bad traits not exist and bad traits don't make the good traits not exist.

I just don't think that "he meant well" and "he did as best as he could with his very limited traits" makes the ways he fell short vis a vis Jinx not exist.

IMO you can "do a bad parenting" without always being a bad parent or without meaning to or without being a bad person.

The question is whether you are willing to learn from it.

IMO "try to look beyond world view" and "try to fix your own problems in order to be a better parent/to be more well equipped as a parent" and "try to productively handle your kid's crisis" and "know the limits of your experience and how applicable your experience is your kid's experience, make sure to keep checking back with your kid whether this is what they really want" and "don't go behind your kids back on a major issue like a blood relative returning" are valuable lessons we can learn from the things Silco did not do well.

In addition to "encourage them" and "be sensitive and acceptive of their mental illness and don't look down on them for it" and "defend them in public, question them in private" being things you could learn from his positive traits.

And imo more debatably but I think:

- Don't overshare your traumas with your kids, it's okay and right to sanitize depending on the age of the kid

- Don't just go along with everything your kid might want, you aren't a bad parent for lovingly and sensibly setting boundaries and asking questiona and (yes always check back with your kid for feedback) seeing whether the same instinct can be steered differently/the same need can be met in a different way

Are also valid things to live by.

I would also point out that there is a big difference between your claim of "he did the best that ANYONE could have done" and "he did the best with his (imo woefullly flawed, broken and lacking) tools". You say the first early in the response and the latter in your summaries.

But those are very different things.

It's like... I dunno, a 5 year old driving a truck. The 5 year old might be driving the best as they possibly could, but that probably doesn't change that a 5 year old shouldn't have been behind the wheel?

I don't want this to read as "people with severe trauma shouldn't have children" or "people with severe trauma shouldn't be adoptive parents". But I do think that "people with severe trauma who are also parents should be honest of areas where they might be less well equipped and be willing to ask for help as this has the potential to lead to an overall better parenting experience".

No parenting experience is optimal. And the vast majority of parenting experiences are going to leave some scars simply because scars are unavoidable. But that doesn't mean that there can't be room for improvement and that it doesn't go to somebody's credit if an interest for improvement is within their repertoire.

And I realize that this is really rambly and repetitive and I'll try to rephrase this into a post that is more concise and grouped into themes (ie "good intentions don't prevent bad outcomes" and "acting on a limited world view" and "not impeding her does not imply good parenting"). :)

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thorne93 · 4 years ago

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The Stars Made Us (Part 18)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge – You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 1939

Warnings: angst and language throughout, mention of suicide

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @quailliamfears thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong and @arrow-guy and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you arrived at Stephen’s place, you helped him through his morning routine before stating, “If I’m going to stay here nearly all day, I’ll need to get some work done. Is that alright with you?”

“Oh, please, by all means, don’t let me get in the way of your pseudoscience,” he said, making a gesture of moving out of the way. “You can use my office.”

You rolled your eyes and grabbed your suitcase full of things. “Thanks.” You went in there and made a small work space and began calling patients, trying to schedule them for therapy in the city. You could use another space nearby to start seeing them, depending on how long you would be here.

When you took a break, you made lunch for you and Stephen.

“New song today,” you said as you turned on the music, skipping to a random song in your library.

“You make this so easy,” he boasted before nailing the artist, album name, and release year.

“I will get you, one day,” you vowed with a grin.

You went back to your office after the two of you ate, and talked quickly of current events in the news. While you were on the phone with one of your more unstable, and new patients, you had to calm him down.

“Randy, Randy, take a deep breath for me. There’s nothing we can’t figure out,” you coaxed on the phone, standing up and pacing.

“You’re two hours away! My father has cancer and I--” He started to sob and you continued to pace.

“I know. This puts you in a very difficult position.”

“No, no it doesn’t. It makes everything clearer. I can’t be here.”

“Be where? Randy, where are you?”

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t care. No one fucking cares!” he cried out.

“Yes they do,” you insisted, your heart hammering in your chest. “I do.”

“You’re paid to!”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care. Randy, tell me where you are. When did you find out your father had cancer?”

“A few hours ago,” he said.

“So where are you now?”

“I’m not going to tell you anything. This is all too much. I just lost my mom a year ago, and now my dad… He might be an abusive son of a bitch, but he’s all I’ve got.”

You took a deep breath, trying to think of what to say.

“Randy, are you in danger of hurting yourself or anyone else?”

He paused, silent a long time before saying, “Just me.” He began crying again.

You began searching for his address on your laptop from the forms he’d filled out. You marched out of the temporary office and over to Stephen who was sitting on his couch, reading. “Randy, why do you want to hurt yourself?” you asked, making Stephen look up at you. You grabbed a pen and paper and scribbled a message that said to do a welfare check on Randy Smith, with his address.

“Because I don’t have any body.”

“You told me you have some cousins, how would they feel if you ended your life?”

“They wouldn’t even know. If they did find out they’d just say, ‘that’s a shame.’.”

You shoved the paper at Stephen with the instructions on it. He nodded and got up, grabbing his phone and going into his bedroom.

“No friends? Girlfriend? Coworkers? Randy, everyone has something to live for. People aren’t the only thing that make a life go round. You told me you’re a computer programmer, yeah? What do you want to do with that?”

“Well, I work for a medical software company.”

“Is that your dream job?”

“Not really. I mean, I love the programming, but it’s not all I want to do.”

“Tell me about what you do want to do.”

“I want to program planes, for the military.”

“See? That’s a noble cause. It’ll help your country. Randy, if you end your life now, that’s your choice, but you won’t get the chance to tell your father what he has done to you. You won’t get the chance to talk with me, to work through problems I know you can work through. You sought me out for help, please, let me help. Don’t miss this opportunity to take control of your life, and make it what you want to be.”

Stephen walked back in the room and he said, “They went to the house, there was no one there.”

“Randy?” you said again. “Randy, please, don’t make a mistake based on how you’re feeling right now in this moment. We know that all feelings pass, and you may be in the dark right now, I know you might be very far in there, in a pit you feel like you can’t climb out of. But that’s why you hired me, isn’t it? This cancer situation with your father is just that, it’s a situation we need to navigate together. I’ll help you every step of the way. You just need to tell me where you are and we can begin therapy as soon as you'd like.”

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally said, “I’m in the parking garage… Oh, god, Dr. Y/L/N, please help me.”

You held in your sigh of relief and replied, “I will, Randy, I will. I’ll be right there.” You hung up and called the police, telling them where he was.

“I’m so sorry, Stephen, but I have to go,” you said hurriedly.

He merely nodded as you grabbed your purse and ran out the door.

Once the crisis was averted, you got him checked into the hospital, and you talked with him for a bit. Once he felt safe and secure, you left him in the capable hands of the hospital. You came back to the apartment, drained.

“That was, uh, impressive,” Stephen noted. “Guess it’s more than just a pseudo science.”

“Guess so,” you responded tiredly.

“So what made you decide to do this work?” he asked.

You scoffed. “Oh, so now you’re suddenly interested?”

“Now that I saw you save a man’s life over the phone? Yes, I am. I’m very impressed. I can only save lives with my own hand. You did it with nothing but your own words, your own voice.”

“I suppose I did. Well, if you must know, I simply want to help people. I love making sure people are okay and knowing I had a hand in that.”

“That’s rather noble.”

You laughed. “That’s what Charles said when I told him when we first started corresponding.”

“It’s true though.”

“So how about you? Saving lives, that’s quite noble. Is that why you do what you do?”

He laughed now. “Far from it. I just love the thrill.”

You nodded slowly. “Ah, yes, people love holding other people’s lives in their hands for the thrill of it. I would say correct me if I’m wrong, but I know I’m not, and the only people who do that are those with antisocial personality disorder. You don’t strike me as the type, despite your best efforts.”

Stephen smiled widely at this. “Touche. Uh, if you really want to know. I had a tragedy happen when I was younger. The thing you said when we first met, about losing someone close, someone family… you were right. Long story short, I wanted to save lives. That’s all I want to say on it.”

You pressed your lips together before nodding and saying, “Thank you, for sharing with me. I bet that was hard.”

“Don’t use your psychiatrist voice on me. I don’t need to be pitied or patronized.”

“I’m not. I’m simply being sympathetic. I truly believed you went through something hard and I appreciate you telling me. Opening up to me is a great honor, I feel.”

He semi-rolled his eyes. You realized you needed to take a different approach here. Stephen didn’t like talking about his past, in regards to his family. But Christine made it clear that he was arrogant, so maybe you should talk about his achievements.

“Christine told me you were driving to a convention when your crash happened, to speak at a conference.”

“Yes, I was.”

“Do you enjoy it? Speaking, that is, about your work?”

“I do, I love it actually. Have you ever done it?”

You shrugged slightly. “I’ve done it a handful of times but she said you did it often and were very good at it.”

“I’d like to say so, but she said she didn’t ever enjoy it.”

“That’s too bad. I wish I could’ve been your date,” you admitted. “You seem like you’d actually have fun at those things.”

“I did. I wish I could still do it.”

“You will, one day, I know it.” You grinned at him and the two of you ordered take-out.

------------------------

Things turned south for Stephen though. He couldn’t afford the high price of his Manhattan penthouse without his job. He’d burned through all of his money trying to chase every cure. When he finally realized this, he went nuts.

“I’m losing my home!” he shouted as he ran around his room in a robe, looking like a mad man.

“It’s just an apartment, Stephen. We can find you a new one.”

“Oh, yes, because you have so much free time.”

“I do. I came here to help you, didn’t I?” you challenged.

“I don’t need you to be a realtor.”

“Why not? You’ve made me a nurse, a cook, a maid. It’s clear you don’t want me as a soulmate, and friend is still even up for debate. Why not just make me your realtor?”

“You’ve never lost anything, have you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be so heartless about this.”

You stopped, staring at him. “I’ve lost something before. I’m not being heartless, Stephen. I’m being realistic. You spent all of your money. You aren’t making any more. You have to move out of a place you can no longer afford. You’re always raving about logic and statistics and things you can see, well look at the statistics if you keep trying to live here.”

“This is everything I’ve worked for.”

“No, it’s not. It’s a side effect of what you can do. There is more to life than just your work. You dedicated yourself like this once before, you can do it again. You didn’t work for a fancy palace in a shining city. You worked to be the best god damn neurosurgeon you can be and it paid off and it got you this. But you don’t have this any more. You don't have the means. I know it hurts, I know it sucks. But crying about it, getting pissed off about it, isn’t going to change the fact that your hands are beyond repair.”

He looked at you as if he hated you and your nerves just steeled. You couldn’t waiver from him, from this, not now. Not when he needed you most.

“I’m here to help you. So help me help you, before you end up on the streets. Alright?”

He sat down on his bed, his head in his hands. You were standing on the opposite side of the bed before you got on it and crawled over, putting your hands on his shoulders and resting your cheek against his back.

“We will figure this out. Okay?”

A long silence passed before he said, “I never wanted to end up like this.”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” You kissed his robe clad shoulder. “We’ll get you another apartment, another job. You’re still a doctor. It’s not the end of the world.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#the stars made us #charles xavier #charles xavier x reader #charles xavier fic #stephen strange #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange fic

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jaywrites101 · 4 years ago

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Why You Should be Voting Democrat: The Republicans are Hypocrites Against God.

This is an essay I now have to give to a person living in this house with me. Some context, they pinned a piece of Republican propaganda they received in the mail to the community posterboard with the words “why I vote Republican” written on it. I have interpreted this as an invitation to challenge their beliefs. And my response is in the essay below.

Sincerely, By Everyone in This House

Pro-life vs Pro-Choice

This argument is a messy one to argue, this is something our country is literally divided over this and each argument is so twisted it's hard for either side to understand one another. For this to be the hill you've chosen to fight on I'm going to have to assume two things—1: you believe abortions are murder, and 2: You believe abortions are a common occurrence made by lazy people who want to get rid of the consequences of their bad actions.

Both of these are common arguments made by the Republican party to defund Planned Parenthood. So it may surprise you that not a single person on the Left is trying to disprove your fighting points.

That's because this isn't about abortions at all. It's about women's rights. Abortions only play into this because it was the item that forced the issue before the courts and the public.

In 1973, Roe v. Wade was a landmark decision of the U.S. Supreme Court in which the Court ruled that the Constitution of the United States protects a pregnant woman's liberty to choose to have an abortion without excessive government restriction. This decision effectively guaranteed that a woman had the right to treat her body as her own property, meaning she could choose what she eats, who she has sex with, and, yes, whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term.

The decision ruled that the US Government has no right to decide the moral outcome of a single person's choices. Nor do they have the right to force a person to live in what they currently believe to be an ethical lifestyle.

This is the one and ONLY law in our country that explicitly gives women the same rights to life, responsibility, and authority that a man has. It also the only law that ensures a woman has the ultimate right to refuse to have sex with a man.

Republicans want to overturn Roe v. Wade and defund Planned Parenthood (not end abortions). They often cite the evils of abortions as the reasons why they want to overturn it. However, this is not their real motivation. Planned Parenthood has a multitude of other services for women and men besides abortions. They help people conceive children, provide safe-sex alternatives to reckless teens, provide both erectile stimulants and contraception, and even hormone therapy for trans people transitioning genders. They also provide pregnancy care for women just like any other hospital.

And as we've discussed Roe v. Wade is about a woman's rights to her body.

Republicans are trying to keep women from having equal rights. This much has been stated by Republicans in the 1970s and that mentality continues to today. It's blatant hypocrisy from a group of people who've only read the Bible enough to make real Christians like yourself believe they're doing God's work. And they are not shy about signaling how religious they are. God even has a Bible verse for them specifically:

“Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward.” Matthew 6:2. (NKJV)

Government Spending

This one's actually a very easy argument to refute. Republicans are always talking about making tax cuts and spending less money. In truth, all the money they save goes straight into the military budget which increases by BILLIONS of dollars each year. We're currently spending $934 billion a year on our military budget. According to the last Discretionary Spending Audit under Obama, more than half of that goes back into the politicians in both the House and the Senat across both sides of the aisles. That's also why this issue is one many Democrats actively support; the military is giving them a kickback.

The tax cuts you experience is not the government saving an extra twenty cents by cutting out beef from their cafeteria and passing the savings to you. It's the Republican party throwing the US into more debt to artificially give you a tax break so you'll continue to vote for them, and force the Democrats to be the ones to have to put that back to normal so they look like the bad guys.

Long story short, if you want the government to save money, vote Democrat, pay higher taxes and demand a drastic decrease in military spending.

Fun Fact: If we succeed in cutting the military budget by one-hundredth of a percent, the excess funds would pay to empower EVERY SOCIAL SERVICE the democrats suggest (from healthcare all the way to free electricity.) for the next ten years.

Education (Really? This one's so backward you should know better without me explaining.)

Republicans have been so far on the wrong side of this debate I'm surprised I have to tell it to you. For decades they've cut school budget both in the public and private sectors. They happily cut millions of dollars a year from the federal grants that are supposed to help kids afford college, while also artificially inflating the price of school, school supplies, and class prices.

This is not some secret thing you'll have to search hard for. They brag about it on tv every other episode of Fox News.

The document you gave me lists education but provides no real proposals or examples of problems they hope to change, it is preying on your ignorance in this situation to make themselves look good. (What follows was not any part of the document they left, but are bullet points I thought they should be thinking about when they go to vote.)

Gay Rights

People who are gay, or otherwise not cishet WASPS should have the right to live a life of their own choosing without persecution or judgment from us. Jesus says everyone has that right amongst man. We're supposed to leave all that to God, so leave it for God.

Racism

I direct you to the current protests as proof that Racism is a thing that still exists, and has only gotten more unmanageable as time has moved on. Also, every Black Lives Matter protest since Martin Luther King Jr.

Socialism

Roads, parks, schools, and social security are all social programs funded by the government for the people. We on the Left wish to expand these capacities to healthcare, electricity, internet, higher education, and phone services, while also insisting that the government provide the minimum funding needed for people to live. (This in a time when the cost of living keeps rising higher due to unchecked capitalism.) We demand the government provide for the homeless, and regulate the supply chain of food. (because over 70% of all food in the garbage across this country is thrown away while it's still fresh.)

We have the ability to end starvation, and homelessness in this country. We argue this means we have the responsibility to do so as well.

Gun Reform

Democrats believe no civilian needs access to weapons of war. It's too easy to exploit these weapons and it results in mass killings of innocents. There are far better and more effective ways to defend yourself and your family than buying a bunch of guns and shooting anything that makes a noise in the night.

Police Reform

This is the current agenda. Police have gone unpunished for their crimes against civilians, (especially civilians of color,) and our current system 1: Encourages police to kill first, ask questions never, 2: Forces cops to take on roles they are untrained for, and 3: Gives them too much power without any reliable method of accountability. We demand all three of these things be addressed and changed in a meaningful way.

All of this without even mentioning Trump, the man actively trying to be a dictator.

#politics #trump #vote #fuck trump #against trump #this person is driving me insane with their political views

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ranger-report · 4 years ago

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Opinion: Don’t Buy HOGWARTS LEGACY, Harry Potter Needs To Step Back A While

Sony’s recent Playstation 5 livestream event brought some interesting news to the gaming world. First and foremost was the reveal of the PS5′s price and release date, but also reveals of new games coming for the system. Final Fantasy XVI, Five Nights At Freddy’s: Security Breach, God of War: Ragnarok, among some other impressive titles. One, however, is garnering controversy for doing nothing other than being associated with the creator of the universe it’s based on, and that is WB Games’s Hogwarts Legacy, an open-world game set in the Harry Potter universe created by JK Rowling, author and noted TERF (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist). Yes, we’re going to get the elephant in the room out of the way with early: Rowling is transphobic, she continues to hammer home this point, and is losing points with fans because of it. It’s been happening for some time, to the point where WB Games has issued an FAQ on their website for Legacy noting that Rowling is not involved with the creation of the game. Others, including website Inverse, have issued a rallying cry stating that the gaming world shouldn’t let Legacy suffer as a result of Rowling’s continued efforts to bury herself in a mire of her transphobia. When a game has to distance itself from the creator of the universe it is set in, you know things are bad. Not simply bad like “Oh we disagree with her statements,” but bad as in “We spent money on this and now we’re really hoping that you will too even though JK Rowling is a TERF.”

Here’s the problem: supporting Hogwarts Legacy isn’t just supporting the developers of the game, it is supporting JK Rowling and the continued use of the Harry Potter universe as a franchise, and we really just need to get off of that train for a while.

Look, JK Rowling already has her money. Let’s face it. With a former net worth of close to $1 billion, now resting somewhere around $60 million due to many charitable contributions, Rowling is not in want or in need of money anytime soon. She continues to write, is involved in the Fantastic Beasts films (a third film of which is in suspended production due to COVID), and is set to release a new book under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. PS: Robert Galbraith is also the name of the real-life person who invented conversion therapy. And her new mystery novel under that name involves the hunt for a cross-dressing serial killer. But we were talking about her money.

Yes, JK Rowling has money, so how would essentially boycotting Harry Potter have any sort of effect on her? After all, wouldn’t the developers of Hogwarts Legacy be most hurt by this? True, these devs are collateral damage in a war that they did not ask to be a part of, but like all boycotts we should not look at the ground floor, but the top. Supporting the ground floor means supporting the top. And Rowling is the very top floor. Despite not being involved in the creation of the game per se, Harry Potter is still her intellectual property. Warner Brothers no doubt paid a hefty licensing fee to be able to publish this game among others, as it did to pay for the rights to the Harry Potter films. Money goes to the top. Supporting the games for the developers doesn’t make sense when they’ve already been paid; yes, hopefully they’ll receive residuals, but they’ve already been paid where WB Games stands to actually be making money on sales. And if WB Games makes money, they’ll spend more money to make more Harry Potter games, meaning JK Rowling makes more money. You can’t simply support the bottom rung without that support going all the way up the tower. It just doesn’t work that way.

But as we’ve said, her net worth is established, so why not spend money on Legacy and have the game we want to have? Legacy looks like the kind of game Potterheads have been salivating for, a deep dive into Hogwarts in the 1800s, the ability to fully explore the Wizarding school, learn magic, it seems simply delightful, albeit engineered. Let’s put money aside for a moment. Do you want to support a transphobic human being? If the answer is yes, good luck and godspeed on your way out the door. If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t buy Legacy. Or, to that effect, anything from Harry Potter, at least for a while. Supporting Harry Potter with your dollars means supporting a human being who is a TERF. That’s the end of the debate. You can’t support the bottom without it going all the way to the top. Companies pay millions every year to make products to sell to the public. Creators like Rowling earn millions from companies who want to license their intellectual property. Purchasing the product creates a demand for more, meaning Rowling’s ideas will continue to generate interest from companies, who will continue to pay her for the rights to do so, etc. You cannot just purchase something with it putting money into the hands of the person at the top, and when it comes to Harry Potter, unfortunately a transphobic woman is the person at the top.

No one likes thinking about this. Harry Potter is a worldwide phenomenon. It is a cultural touchstone, a part of millions of people’s childhoods. It brought us together in ways that hadn’t been seen since Star Wars. The idea of not buying or supporting Harry Potter is akin to not buying or supporting Star Wars. But if George Lucas hated gay people, would you be okay with purchasing that Death Star LEGO kit for your kids?

WB Games and Portkey Games are doing their damnedest to not lose money on Hogwarts Legacy. And I can’t blame them: this is a game that has been rumored to be in development since 2018, possibly earlier, before the majority of Rowling’s views were fumbled out onto the internet, but during the controversy of her defending Johnny Depp’s casting in the Fantastic Beasts film. A lot of money has been invested into Legacy, so of course the publisher and developers are going to try to save face by stating and restating that JK Rowling has nothing to do with this game. But the truth? She has everything to do with this game. She created the universe. Someone paid her to make movies of it. Then someone paid her to make video games out of it. Then someone paid someone to actually develop the video game. Now the people who paid to make the game are hoping to get a return on their investment. Rowling has been paid; she stands to make more on royalties as well. WB Games looks to take the loss if the game doesn’t sell. But if they don’t see a return, they’ll have to consider how profitable it would be to continue to make Harry Potter games. If they don’t see a return, JK Rowling is looking at not seeing future returns for her IP. At some point, the films won’t bring in the returns necessary to continue making films, either. Maybe at some point Rowling will pull a full George Lucas, sell Harry Potter completely to one company, and walk away with her money. Then she can settle into her grumpy chair and tweet about how women are women and something else transphobic while fading away loudly, ignored by people who can finally purchase Harry Potter again knowing that their money -- and support -- doesn’t go to a known transphobe.

We can only hope for that day. But it starts by boycotting Hogwarts Legacy.

One final note: fuck TERFS and fuck JK Rowling. Trans women are women.

#jk rowling #harry potter #hogwarts legacy #fantastic beasts #wb games #warner brothers #portkey games #terfs #transphobia #robert galbraith #ck burch #ranger report #ruby ranger #opinion

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giacmotrua · 4 years ago

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Knowing your limit

I find it really important for people to know their limits, in other words what they are entitled to do and what they are not, and limitations, what they can do and cannot.

We go to work and there’s what’s called “professional boundary”, like doctors are not supposed to date the patient, carers are not supposed to have sexual relationship with clients, interpreters are supposed to say the same thing in another language without expressing any emotions while doing so, unless you have a doctor’s permit do not diagnose,... the list goes on. I wonder if everyone understands that such boundary ensures safety for workers and clients, or any party on each end, and that work is delegated properly, no one is pressured to do other people’s job. We sometimes yearn to do more, to have more competencies, which is a good thing but you need to have appropriate training first to do the right thing or way before you get your hands on anything, so you can do it safely for everyone and yourself. It is not a hard concept to understand and generally any person in the workforce can comply to this pretty well. It is in life that things get complicated.

Parents told us when we were children that we shall know “our place” and we believe this is a bad thing to hear, that we are disregarded and not respected. It’s all about perspective and choices so what if I comply to it but in a manipulative way? You now children who make their parents happy can get what they want pretty easily, if the parents say no, there will almost always be some sort of compromise, such as turning it into a prize condition for something in exchange or just being talked to nicely to explain the reason and, again, other alternatives to it, or, you know, you can just do it in your own terms and parents won’t even notice any changes.

Another thing is, when you know your limit, you know if you need to get involved or not. I know someone who thinks he need to worry about every single fight that his parents have because it is annoying and they are his parents so he has to worry about them (parents and the fights). I tried to explain to him I know it might be loud and irritating in terms of we need some peace and do not want to to hear such noises but he does not need to focus on why are they fighting and why they are not leaving him alone. They are not doing anything to him, except annoying his environment and ears but focusing on them fighting all the time is not the way to think about it. Think of it this way, if you think you need to get involved, then how can you change it? If you cannot change it, why the hell do you need to get involved in other people’s matter? Everyone has their own way of living, everyone has their own way of doing things and it is by all means their right to do so. Is it that hard to properly leave people alone and mind your own business? Knowing your limit, you understand your parents fighting annoys you because they are noisy in a very disturbing way, then find somewhere else quiet to get back to work. Knowing your limit, you understand your lesbian daughter has her own right to feel and live that way and you can either not seeing her again or accept and let nature determines her path from now on, not having some asshole raping her. Knowing your limit, you let your children live their own lives and when they make mistakes, they turn back to you for advice and THEN they will believe and listen to you from then on. Yet, people with their curiosity and nosiness just have to get into everyone’s business and try to make it to their own way. Seriously, do you want to be treated that way? Why are you treating other people like that?

Know what I have been mentioning above are quite for people who have some sorts of relationships, like parents, friends and it was about forcing people to think like do you do because you cannot understand how or what others are thinking. There is another case of being judgemental. I just read a book the other day about real estate investing and there are people who are “sources of information” that are “know-it-all”. They know everything about the mass economy, polictics and how those factors can affect the housing industry. Should we listen to them? Well, it is pretty obvious, the author marked we can just ask them “How many properties have you got?”, if that person has 0 property than why should we listen to anything they are saying? I have someone who is the same and then tried to judge the way I want to buy another property instead of just relying on my husband and his parents’ house, judging the way I weigh and work things out is alright, this person extended to giving my parents advice on how to spend the money on something else and not another property like that. I even had my brother theorised to be unemployed with nothing works out. What does my family have anything to do with this and why do they have to include my family into their “teachings” and calculation? Now, I want to include something more about society than families. If you know someone is a prostitute and prostitution is illegal, you have no right to teach that person a lesson or call the clients’ wife or husband to give that prostitute a lesson either. You have a responsibility to minimize crimes so you can just go ahead and call the police instead, why waste your strength and time on something stupid? If you know someone is a pedophile, guys, gather evidence and call the police, let the legal system and custody make him pay the price, you let everyone knows so this person can be eradicated from community but you do not have to kill the guy and you go to jail instead of him. See I do not use “teach him a lesson” here as this is mental and in a lot of cases cannot be altered or therapied. Speaking of this, I do not tolerate and I do feel disgusted by it so I need to protect other children and make sure he pays a good price for it. I am quite open to differences, but this is unacceptable and disrespectful, so such people deserve to be tortured by the society correspondingly and in the worst way possible. Like I said, you have to pay the price.

Back to the topic, when you know your limit, you know how to plan your steps accordingly to success. You do not shout out to the whole world and the criminal gets nothing in return. You make sure who you can ask to help, you make sure what you can do to get things done properly. I do not understand people who needs help in law asks members in a community Facebook group for advice and not a group with professional lawyers in or, well, go to real lawyer offices to ask for good advice.

We think that limits are bad things and probably unnecessary, they really are but you have to use them wisely so you can better yourself while actually make differences and contribute positive changes. It is all about perspective and I really want to address more of the controversial and debating solutions to problems to encourage more ideas in life because if you have to live anyway, make your it count, do not waste it.

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ourkinfolx · 4 years ago

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No. 1: Fania

Fania Noel is a woman with plans. And not just the vast, sweeping plans like the dismantling of capitalism and black liberation. She also has smaller, but no less important, plans like brunch with friends, hitting the gym.

“Every week, I put in my calendar the times I need to be efficient,” she explains. “So I put what time I work out, with my friends, my time to watch TV shows, to read. And after, I can give people the link to put obligations.”

The link she’s referring to is her online scheduling system connected to her personal website. It’s one I’ve become well acquainted with after our first two failed attempts to schedule interviews. We had plans to meet in person, in a Parisian Brasserie she’d recommended, but between canceled flights and buses, Skype turned out to be the most practical option. Our disrupted travel was just one in a long list of inconveniences brought on by the virus safety measures. It might even be said that the coronavirus also had plans.

The global pandemic and subsequent slowing of—well, everything comes up a few times in our conversation. Like some of the other activists I’ve talked to, Fania sees a silver lining, an opportunity.

“This might be the only sequence of events in the history of humanity that you have the whole planet living at the same tempo, being in quarantine or locked down or slowed activity,” she says.

“So we all have a lot of time to think about how [society is] fucked up or the weight of our lives in terms of this society. And I think we have to ask if we want to go back to this rushed kind of living. It’s really a game changer.”

I first heard of Fania, a Haitian born afro-feminist, earlier in the year, while talking to a Parisian friend about the need for more black spaces in the city. She angrily described how a few years ago, Fania tried to have an event for black women, only to be met with fierce backlash and derision from not just right-wing groups, but anti-racist and anti-Semitic groups. The event wasn’t actually Fania’s alone; it was an effort by Mwasi Collective, a French afro-feminist group that she’s involved with.

Either way, it was a minor scandal. Hotly debated on French TV and radio. Even Anne Hidalgo, Paris’s mayor, voiced disapproval. Critics claimed the event, called Nyansapo Festival, was racist itself by exclusion because most of the space had been designated for black women only.

Despite all the fuss, the Nyansapo Festival went on as planned. Several years later, following the killing of George Floyd and the international movement that followed, Anne Hidalgo published a tweet ending with the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter. I found it curious, she’s always struck me as more of an #AllLivesMatter type.

I ask Fania if, given the tweet and possible change of heart from the mayor, she thinks her event would be better received in the current climate. She points out that there had been two Nyansapo Festivals since, with little to no media coverage, but seems overall uninterested in rehashing the drama.

“We’re way beyond that now,” she says, shaking her head. She ends it in a way that will be familiar to anyone who’s ever been almost imperceptibly corrected by a black woman, and I quickly move on to the next topic.

It’s not until later, when reading some of her other interviews, that I’m able to fully contextualize our exchange. It’s common for activists, especially those working in or belonging to a culture where their identity makes them a minority, to be asked to view their work through the lens of conditional acceptance of a larger group of oppressors and/or gatekeepers. Asking feminists what men think, asking LGBT how they plan to placate heterosexuals. In her dismissal, Fania resists the line of questioning altogether, and in another interview, she makes the point more succinctly when explaining why she doesn’t believe in the concept of public opinion:

“As an activist, the core ‘public’ is black people and to think about the antagonism and balance of power in terms of our politics rather than its reception. It’s normal in a racist, capitalist, patriarchal society that a political [movement] proposing the abolition of the system is not welcomed.”

One might argue if you’re not pissing anyone off, you’re not doing anything important.

Rolling Stone’s July cover is a painting featuring a dark-skinned black woman, braids pulled into a round bun on her crown. She has George Floyd’s face on her T-shirt and an American flag bandana around her neck. One of her hands is raised in a fist, the other holds the hand of a young black boy next to her. Behind her, a crowd, some with fists also raised, carry signs with phrases like Our Lives Matter and Justice For All Now.

According to Rolling Stone, they tasked the artist, Kadir Nelson, with creating something hopeful and inspirational and he “immediately thought of Eugène Delacroix’s ‘Liberty Leading the People,’ the iconic 1830 painting that depicts a woman leading the French Revolution.”

Regarding his choice to center a black woman in the piece, he explains: “The people who were pushing for those changes were African American women. They are very much at the forefront in spearheading this change, so I thought it was very important for an African American woman to be at the very center of this painting, because they have very much been at the center of this movement.”

During our call, I mention the painting and ask Fania her thoughts on why, so often, we find black women at the forefront of any social justice or human rights movement.

“Women have always organized,” she says simply. “Women work collectively, they run organizations.” She points to the church and organized religion as an example.

“Look at the composition of church. Who’s going to church, who’s going to ask for help from God?”

Anyone who’s spent time in the houses of worship for a patriarchal religion has vivid memories of the very present men in the room. From the booming voices and squared shoulders of the pulpit to the stern, sometimes shaming looks of brothers, uncles, fathers. But the women, often more numerous, run the councils and the choirs. Around the world women pray more, attend church and are generally more religious. And the men?

“In a context of church, it’s really acceptable to ask for help from God. Because it’s God,” Fania says. “But you don’t have a lot of black men, a lot of men in any kind of church.”

That isn’t to say that men, especially black men, are complacent. Fania notes that traditional activism goes against the patriarchy’s narrow view of masculinity.

Activism, she explains, requires one to acknowledge they’ve been a victim of a system before they can demand power. And for a lot of men, that’s not an option.

“They want to be seen as strong,” she says. “As leaders. They want to exert control.”

In short, both black men and women acknowledge the system would have us powerless, but while women organize to collectively dismantle it, men tend to stake out on their own to dominate it.

Black capitalism as resistance isn’t new, and was more prominent during the civil rights movement, which was largely led by men. In 1968, Roy Innis, co-national director for the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE) opined,

“We are past the stage where we can talk seriously of whites acting toward blacks out of moral imperatives.” While CORE’s other director, Floyd McKissick, reasoned,

“If a Black man has no bread in his pocket, the solution to his problem is not integration; it’s to get some bread.”

More recently the dynamics of this played out in real time on Twitter as Telfar, a black, queer-owned fashion label, sent out notifications of a handbag restock only to be immediately descended upon by a group of largely black, male resellers. Telfar describes itself as affordable luxury for everyone, and for many of the black women who buy Telfar, it exists as proof that class and fashion need not be so inextricably linked. But for the men who bulk purchased the bags just to triple the price and resell, these were just more items to wring capital out of on their quest to buy a seat at the table.

Of course, it’s not unreasonable to argue that the purchase of a product, regardless of who makes it, as a path to liberation is still black capitalism. And in another interview, Fania specifically warns against this type of consumption. “Neoliberal Afrofeminism is more focused on representation, making the elite more diverse, and integration. This kind of afrofeminism is very media compatible. Like great Konbini-style videos about hair, lack of shades of makeup, and [other forms of] commodification.” But, she explains, “The goal is a mass movement where our people are involved, not just passively or as consumers.”

But can consumption be divorced from black liberation if it’s such a key aspect in how so many black people organize? I bring up all the calls to “buy black” that happened in the wake of George Floyd. Some of it could be attributed to the cabin-fever induced retail therapy we all engaged in during quarantine. And for those of us who, for whatever reason, were unable to add our bodies to a protest, money seemed like an easy thing to offer. Buy a candle. A tub of shea butter. A tube of lip gloss. But what did it all really accomplish, in retrospect?

“We have to think about solidarity,” Fania explains. “Solidarity is a project. When we say support black-owned business, we still have to think about the goal, the project. So if we support coffee shops, bookshops, hair dressers that have a special place in the community and are open to the community and in conversation with the community, it’s good and it can help. But if it’s just to make some individual black people richer, it’s really limited.”

Black capitalism vs anti-capitalism remains an ongoing debate, but shouldn’t be a distraction. In the end, everyone will contribute how they best see fit and we still share a common goal. Besides, we’ll need all hands on deck to best make use of our current momentum. And that’s something Fania underscores in one of the last points she makes during our conversation:

“Something we have to repeat to people is that these protests: keep doing them. Because you have years and years of organization behind you. People came out against police brutality and a week later we’re talking about how we move towards the abolition of police, how we go towards the abolition of prison. How we move towards the end of capitalism. And this is possible because you have a grassroots organization thinking about the question even when no one else was asking it. So now we have the New York Times and the media asking if these things are possible. But that’s because even when we didn’t have the spotlight, we were working on the questions about the world after. And every day radical organizations, black liberation organizations, are thinking about the world after and the end of this system. And when protests and revolts happen, we can get there and say ‘we have a plan for this.’”

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juleswolverton-hyde · 6 years ago

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Between the pages | 03

Genre: fluff, angst, romance, smut, Werewolf AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: alpha!Namjoon x human!Reader

Warning: Mention of knotting/mating, a conflicted angry Joon.

Summary: Sometimes we find by sheer luck what we lost between the pages. The retrieval, however, is not always as fortunate.

Previous part / Masterlist / part 4 (yet to be written)

Inhibition has come to form a steady aspect of a life full of oppression, whether it be in the form of thoughts about a dearly missed loved one or unspoken words about an inevitable event. All are elements of the mental cage a fortunate woman was distanced from just in time, the second drowsy murmurs started to transform into murring, the disguise of the thing within regardlessly hoping happiness could be found somewhere far out of its reach.

Just in time to remain blind to the monster.

Be safe from the unconscious influence of nature always triggered first by a splendid persevering brother who also falls into bestial primitivity once a month howbeit in a much more controlled fashion than the youngest shame of the bloodline.

From a murderous lustful renegade.

And that same silver perpetrator now stares out over the calmly flowing river mirroring the rays of the sun on a rare bright day, zoning out to the occasional sharp sparkle that distracts all focus from the boiling bad temper and painful stings in the nether region which will only worsen once the monthly “season” starts anew. Is lost in the scent of inked pages that were once read together after class and on dates that seem so long ago if not part of one of the many surrounding tales, completely ignoring the psychiatric alpha earning some money on the side as a barista as broad shoulders are shook with an urgent request for a shift in attention.

‘Namjoon! Have you been listening at all?’ A mirthless though relieved grimace forms on the elder brown wolf’s long handsome face when hazy eyes revert from agitated crimson to espresso, regaining a sense of reality as gazes lock while absent fingers continue to fidget with the iron necklace from which a platinum wedding band dangles. The ring that will never bond with moonstone. ‘Of course, you haven’t. Look, Monie, I know you’re thinking of her as per usual when you stand here instead of actually running the store and can smell on you that your rut is going to start soon, but even so, we really need to talk.’

There is no energy to wage a verbal war despite the anger of the creature within, eager to lash out with claws at being provoked while the man forming its host manages to sedate it at the cost of increased exhaustion but a triumph of civilization. However, before starting on the inevitable topic, a habitual question is asked regardless of the never-changing negative reply to it. ‘Any word of Tae?’

‘You know how it goes, nothing. No new trails nor news. He’s out there somewhere doing fine, I’m sure. We have to hope so.’ An encouraging squeeze in a broad shoulder clad in an earthly colourful loose Mexican-style poncho consoles the melancholic hate-stained thought about the cousin turned away by the family simply for being an omega. A mere boy who was kicked out by parents who were supposed to love their only son unconditionally but easily discarded the blonde boy upon finding out amber would never turn into ruby. It is because of them Tae Tae ran away and vanished without a trace, could be dead for all that is known since childish naivety can become the cause for fatal errors.

Where are you? Please be alright. Please be okay wherever you are, buddy. You were the only other one who actually understood what it is like to be different. To be an outcast.

There is not much time to contemplate the loss of the relative with the odd square smile who was taught reading by a kid who would grow up to be a black-hearted killer, because Hoseok already moves on to the next sensitive topic of debate. ‘Joon, I went to the hospital recently and-’

‘I changed Jungkook, I know. Heard the story over breakfast thanks to Jin.’ Full lips pull back into a snarl, baring stark white teeth with a low self-loathing growl at the thought of having ruined the life of the shy cherry red-haired boy working as a waiter in the restaurant run by the head of the river territory who has strangely always idolized a mere beastly bookseller. Pulled strength from his words when dropping by to ask for tutoring for the seemingly hopeless exams of the high school he just graduated from. Kept doing so because he wanted to make his girlfriend, a really nice girl who is a few years older than him and is in the second year of the study of the mind, proud. But the mentor let the apprentice down in the most terrible of ways possible. ‘I’m a monster, a hazard, a fucking disgrace. I should be put down.’

Bony fingers now enclose both upper arms, demanding a revision of the statement out of fear for the asylum that would rightfully put an end to an endless war. ‘Don’t say that. We’ll think of something, do a bit more research to strengthen your medication. Jungkook’s girlfriend asked me to provide him with therapy so I’ll make sure he’ll go through the changing process as flawlessly as possible and keep you out of sight of The Council.’ The anxiety increases further at seeing the disbelief in an attitude knowing very well there is only so long one can run for justice, for a sane mind to remain separated from the abomination which grows more visceral by the day, for help to actually provide a solution. ‘Please say you don’t have the gun anymore.’

Until, one day, only a bullet helps.

’Joon, say you don’t. That’s not what Y/N would want for you.’ Something is off about the scent of amiable panicked irises, weird in the worried tone of speech. ‘She would support you and find a way. Help us find a way to do something about being a Renegade. Think of her, Monie. Of the ring. She’s out there somewhere and you will get married one day. And what of your brother, of Seokjin? He basically raised you on his back. And what of me? I can’t run this place on my own because I don’t know the summary of every book on the shelves. We’ll find a way and put this situation to rest properly.’

Flowers, but one sort in particular.

Tulips in summer.

‘How can you say that when her perfume is on you?’ The deformed mouth now clearly shows sharp canines, a mad frenzy ignited by smelling the wife who had to be saved from a monster on the other alpha cloaking vision in a scarlet haze as fingers mould into fists, nails digging into the palms to have a weak link to sanity.

But to no avail.

The tables turn, one hand distorted with rage grabbing the collar of a neatly ironed alabaster shirt and pulling the stunned earth-toned wolf with thin-rimmed glasses closer so that every growled word can be heard crystal clear in the air filled with the smell of freshly baked bread and her. ‘Answer me, goddammit. Why is my wife’s perfume on you? Did you fuck her, hm? Given her pups while you know she’s mine?’

The tinkling of the bell at the front door goes accompanied by a fresh alluring wave of the characteristic reminiscent scent also present on a lying bastard, distracting the mind just enough with alluring calming flashbacks to times gone by for Hoseok to once more turn the tide when a small step is set in the direction of temptation.

Y/N. She... she’s here. She finally came back to me, to her alpha.

The hold on the neatly ironed fabric is rapidly broken off by meticulously prying digits loose and turning the formerly offending arm on the spine after flipping a powerful wolf only now stupidly aware of the sudden attack, each endeavour to break free nullified with every ounce of available strength maintaining the locked position against the window behind the counter.

‘What the hell are you doing?’ A protesting wriggle proves as futile as the enemy’s had before, solely resulting in another grunt from the barely older colleague clearly thinking above his status. ‘Let me go!’

‘And let you walk up to her like this? You’re almost suffocating me monthly with pheromones so imagine what it would do to her.’ The unconsciously emitted hormones strengthen the chances of finding a proper omega partner to see the rut with through, intensifying every emotion and touch with the trance-like state it induces in both the lover and the mate. Although not everyone always appreciates the enhanced scents for to some they are unappealing, to put it politely. Regardless, due to the prohibition of werewolf-human relationships, very little is known of what it does to a person without the magnificent power of old but considering their obvious lesser strength, it is likely they shall submit earlier than the average she-wolf. Other effects remain in the undiscovered field of myth and legend.

‘She’s my wife!’ The view changes from the bright clear spring river to wood supporting stacks of newly arrived books that have yet to be categorized and priced, pinned down on the counter by the cursed mongrel bearing the scent of the gorgeous lady already bound to an alpha from a proud ancient line yet tried to be claimed by another.

‘And she is human.’ The unimportant fact is growled through gritted teeth. Just another supposedly good reason to not meet the woman who should have become the mother of my pups a long time ago, when the force within awakened for the first time after a date in the lush green park nearby the shining river. She would have looked lovely on all fours underneath the long fingers of the willow tree at the waterside of the central pond, flowy dress imprinted with summer cherries hiked up enough to allow her alpha, me, to pump her full while wrists were pinned to the soft young grass.

The heat within worsens at the imagery as the rut painfully signals with restrained by denim twitches that the incredible fantasy can still be lived if only the current situation can be escaped and Y/N retrieved before going somewhere private. Although, with the sensual cravings coming more and more to a boiling point on the brink of an uncontrollable explosion, it is likelier the beautiful woman who was idiotically left behind will first be knotted on the ground.

Floral footsteps head towards the literary section in the back of the shop, removing themselves from a loving husband. Never again will the same mistake be made, that small hand let go of. It shall only be so when having to take over the task of carrying our son or daughter or both around.

Only then.

‘So what? I’m not allowed to even greet her? She’s not yours, bastard. She’s mine. My mate.’ Claws already begin to form where wrists are held captive, canines tangibly pressing against the tongue having greater difficulty with each encompassing second spend in rage, mere moments away from starting a fight as glorious wolves and putting the offender back in place.

If alive at all.

First, an easy battle since the strength of the opponent will be weakened by trying to act above social standing and then, at last, can true lovers be united and form a family. A pack.

I’ll mate her, right there against the poetry bookshelves. We’ll be together, baby. I promised you we’d be.

‘Joon, listen to me.’ A short lifting and harsh downfall onto the wood once more make a furious ruby stare shift attention from hidden loveliness to irritating commands supposedly made with reason. Made by a traitor laying claim to the mistress of another. ‘Listen. To. Me. I know this isn’t you talking, it’s the wolf on his rut, and you’re actually somewhere in there.’

‘Stop the bullshit. This is me. I’m here.’ Nothing but a true person, the rightful second-in-line for the position of the heir of the Kim family and leadership of the river district, is being held down.

Nothing but a man merely wanting to see his estranged spouse.

‘No, you’re not. Namjoon, normally you’re capable of suppressing the symptoms better. I know you can do it, so come back. Snap out of it! Y/N can’t know what you are and you want to keep it that way, emphasizing this by living unmated while still worrying about her. Remember how you’ve tried thus far, successfully, to keep her away from wolf society. Think about the rings.’ Hoseok’s voice lowers to a more peaceful version of itself at noticing the relaxation of tensed shoulders, the ceasing of endless barely containable struggles, the growling fading away into pained whimpers. ‘Your vows, think about them.’

I swore, dammit, what did I swear again? What does it matter? This is who, not who I am. It matters. Fuck, I need to recall. Right, to protect you against them. Against the thing inside even if it meant I’d never see you again. That, someday, I’d be a better man, fit to be your husband. Yours, in every aspect.

Scarlet fades away into deep earthly brown like the forest floor after a twilight filled with rainfall, the shade of the espressos drunk on book dates in this very realm of inked tales bound in a sea of colourful named spines. Razor sharp canines retreat in the gums, replaced by their human counterparts as fatal claws do the same but in the flesh of calloused hands. Speech is restored to baritone coherency, no animalistic trace left behind. ‘Hope, I- what I just- I didn’t mean anything of what I just said. I’m sorry, for what it’s worth after all the times I’ve acted like this.’ The gaze of the personification of the support pillar of the common sense that gets lost too often in the mind of the beast is sought, finding consenting comfort in it as the tight suppressing hold is lifted. ‘I really am.’

‘I know and, besides, you’re very unoriginal with your insults so I tend to ignore them anyway.’ As a way of making up for the rough treatment, clothes are righted by long tanned bony fingers, straightening out the creases and other signs of struggle while also clearly being aware of the boiling heat emanating from the skin underneath the fabric.

When they are finished with polishing, arms are crossed as a long face nods in the direction of the small back room functioning as a wardrobe and storage for new arrivals, back-up copies and second-hand novels which have yet to be sorted onto the shelves. ‘Wait there until she is gone. I don’t know, read a book or something, but whatever you do, try to stay in control. I have some of your medication in my bag, in the front pocket. It won’t really help, but it’ll suppress the symptoms for a while. Once she’s gone, you’re going home and I’ll manage the shop for the rest of the day. Should be easy enough, considering the stream of customers is... well, small.’

Tempting summer tulips are spread by innocent unmated fingers wandered to the fiction section where they are now leaving through a roman, conjuring up the earlier determination seducing the mind to give up sense in favour of true love.

So close, just a few steps away.

The heat encourages bridging the distance, rush to beloved lips that have never been forgotten, let temporary reason fade away into contact. Precisely like the voice falling away into absent-minded dreaming. ‘I’m... I’m just going to say hello.’

A firm hand on the richly decorated fabric of the suffocating cardigan makes the unconscious step forward undone, endeavouring to guide a stony resisting silver wolf to loathsome confinement again. ‘Joon, don’t.’

A pathetic whimper falls from full lips, partially out of the enhanced longing for the moonstone lady and in part due to the continuous stream of sharp stings of pain in the region below. ‘Please, let me see her. I’ll behave, I promise.’

‘I can’t let you do that, Monie.’

‘I can control it. Please, I need to see her.’ Shortly, focus briefly shifts to the light brown eyes of the caretaker of the contained yet mighty dominant creature below the surface wanting to be like any guy on the street. ‘Look at me. See? No crimson eyes. I can do this, Hoseok.’

The wolf wants Y/N too. It won’t hurt her nor will I. What am I saying? I am the wolf and she is safe with me.

A negative shake of brown locks lighting up bronze in the sunlight falling in through the window makes teeth grit because of apparently not being convincing enough despite having proven to not be a risk. And if the gesture did not stress this, the stern tone upon speaking does. ‘You just proved you can’t, Namjoon. Do what I just told you to. Wait in the storage room and take the pills. If you don’t, you’ll be a danger to us all and you know that. Do the right thing. I don’t want to see you disappear into the asylum.’

I won’t. I’m fine, normal. In perfect control.

‘But it’s Y/N, my wife, my mate...’

‘I know, but you can’t approach her like this. At least we know she’s back in town so I’ll ask around and see what the district leaders have to say, find out where she has settled so you can meet privately when the rut has passed.’ Another attempt at going towards reminiscent flowers moved to the thriller section is halted, this time to much annoyance which is answered with a laborious though resigned sigh. ‘Stop it. Deep within you also know you can’t.’

Sharp predatory canines.

Bloodthirsty ruby.

Burning unconvincing hatred.

‘I can! Have got any fucking idea how much it hurts, huh? Know what it’s like to be unmated and going through Hell each month while your brother is nauseatingly happy with his girlfriend, able to knot his mate, continue the bloodline?’ At this point, the political consequences are the least of worries compared to those attached to walking away once more, thus making the same idiotic mistake as five years ago. However, it goes beyond having a reunion as well since this is also about showing that the second ashen-haired heir is not as much of a disgrace to the family as they have made him feel. Can be the father to the strong alpha pups of the next generation, who shall be even better than their parents.

‘Yes, I do because I experienced it once as well, though it sometimes still feels like it.’ Lashes lower in the belated realization that both alphas have a partner which is not approved of, nullifying the argument given earlier that contact between a crazed wolf and human cannot happen due to well-known apparent risks connected to it. Although, how can something that brings pleasure and relief from sensual pain have any other outcome, have repercussions when it only ensures the continuation of the dynasty? ‘Jimin can’t keep up with me already as is and I’m not part of an ancient pack. However, that does not mean my experience can’t form somewhat of a warning.’

The detail of familiar perfume on the bisexual alpha’s skin was almost forgotten yet freshly remembered thanks to the topic of debate. ‘You haven’t answered the question about how my wife’s scent ended up on your skin, said whether or not you fucked her.’

‘Of course, I haven’t because I’m a good friend and have been serving the Kim family loyally. It’s a curious thing I keep forgiving you for the amount of bullshit you can spout when you’re like this.’

The provoked fist lashing out is easily avoided, a slender palm wrapping around the forearm as quick as hunting paws and forcing a silver awesome creature into the unwavering locking position with a cheek against the counter again. ‘Listen for a second.’

A disagreeing growl owns a choked grunt at an attempt to maintain the current position while dearly missed footsteps return to the poetry section, come closer. The brown-haired mongrel seems to notice the tracking, resulting in an enforced surprisingly strong grip. ‘Listen to me. Joon! Listen. To. Me. A new bakery has opened in town and I go there each morning for a cup of coffee before coming here. Luck would have it that Y/N is the owner of the place and present to help the employees out wherever possible. We’ve been negotiating a collaboration between the shop and bakery for a few days now, merely talking about assortment and delivery schedules. That’s the reason. I wouldn’t lie to you. Happy now?’

A difficult look over the shoulder wants to see the lie behind the words, a reason to deal with the fake comrade that will leave him shunned and forgotten in the hierarchy, but all scarlet eyes regard is honest truth pleading for a sliver of sane conscious floating beneath the surface of the split personality to recognize it.

Which the resurfaced humanity does when the normally sunny long-time companion continues when remarking upon a repercussion that was discussed earlier at the breakfast table. ‘If this keeps happening it will only be a matter of time before the Council finds out about your state and send you to the asylum. Think about Seokjin, about me, about her. You will never see any of us again if you don’t fight for control.’

‘I- I know and I try. But, I can’t think clearly.’ Teeth grit themselves at another spurt of scorching warmth shooting throughout, worsening the capability of returning from mindless animalistic behaviour, deteriorating reason with every passing second. ‘Hobi, it hurts...’

Need to mate, need to fuck. Where did the tulips go? They’re still poetic. My beautiful bitch needs her alpha. No, can’t think this way. I’d break Y/N, can’t love her right when the thing inside craves her too.

‘I know, Joon, I know.’ All former caution fades from Hoseok’s attitude, replaced by the persevering calm that tries to be maintained during chaotic moments like these. ‘I’m gonna let go now, okay? I trust you to do the right thing.’

The paralyzing hold unravels, palms placed on the counter offering support while getting up to roll shoulders back before sullenly wandering to the storage room, a hand sheepishly correcting ashen locks grown haphazard in the struggles for liberty that must never be given to the oppressed thing roaming inside. Withal, feet only curtly stop in the crack of the door to gaze in the direction from which familiar eyes surprisingly look back yet are too rapidly turned away from, the door closed too soon, to instigate any sense of recognition.

We can’t be together. Not now, in any case. Someday I won’t have to walk away anymore, someday we can finally get married and I get to kiss you good morning and goodnight. Someday a place of our own will be filled with childish laughter and little paws. Until then, I’m sorry, baby.

The dusty fragrance of pages inscribed with tales of the fantastical, some of which have always been believed to merely be the conjurations of fancy though the underground society would beg to differ, makes a wild heart slow down. Clears sense enough to search the bright cherry red backpack which has “Hope” written in colourful letters on the front pocket and is tucked against a stack of new publications for the wolfsbane medicine.

Two small stark white pills containing a sedating poison for the abomination induce the same brief haze they always do, giving the split mind the breathtaking room it needs to function properly as a human, be like any other man out there.

Simply be allowed to play the role of the bookseller by the river.

Wallowing in the scent of a forgotten summer behind a firmly closed locked door.

Nonetheless, memories tend to resurface.

And this particular one comes too close.

#BTS #BTS smut #kimnamjoonnet #hyunglinenetwork #Namjoon #RM #Kim Namjoon #Joon #Werewolf!Namjoon #alpha!Namjoon #BTS Werewolf AU #Werewolf AU #Between the Pages

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teachersofeducationhu-blog · 5 years ago

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**Social media- **what is and what it does

I have since a very long time been monitoring the use of social media.

To be honest growing up i was quite hesitant to be on social media as i thought it would drown my brain.

But today we're here with you to discuss the good and the bad of social media that are used in todays adolescents.

First of we need to know what social media is:

Social media refers to websites and applications that are designed to allow people to share content quickly, efficiently, and in real-time.

Social media is also seen as a platform for many groups and ethnicities.

For many it is seen as as a show case of talents, entertainment,personalities, characteristics, and especially their voices.

Next we need to know the platforms they used:

the youths that we've primarily come across upon use the social media outlets:

Instagram

Snapchat

Twitter

Facebook

Tik Tok

Youtube

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To begin with comprehending our youth we need to understand what they use their outlets for.

You can see many of todays youths on social media. Some using it as their personal platform others using it to conceive trends, observing nearly worshipping their idols, forms of communication, its also a look into the daily lives of each other.

For instance: celebrity crush and idols

they are the people kids look up to and use as their role models or envision themselves in that role one day whether be reality or a dream.

It gives them something to reach out to, sort of like a goal

As for media entertainment

we all know the use of memes and the use of it for our personal comic relief.

We all spend countless hours looking at memes and youtube videos but what if we could use this entertainment to stimulate and help evolve the adolescent brain development.

In the form of generating their own memes or social vids that are informative.

Gaming and YouTube has vastly taken over the social platform stage.

They are also some of the more novice lucrative ways of making money on a social platform.

Take for instance that recently there was a video game tournament for fortnite where a young teen won over a million dollars by becoming its first tournament winner.

And what better way to broadcast that same tournament but on YouTube.

Where millions of viewers logged in and the broadcaster got paid by the sum of viewers he/ she had.

Psychoanalysis was founded by Sigmund Freud (1856-1939). Freud believed that people could be cured by making conscious their unconscious thoughts and motivations, thus gaining insight.

The aim of psychoanalysis therapy is to release repressed emotions and experiences, i.e., make the unconscious conscious. It is only having a cathartic (i.e., healing) experience can the person be helped and "cured."

Click here for a video on the theory of psycho analysis

psycho analysis is crucial to understand because if we do then we know our brain develops even in our sleep. And if teens constantly are on social media or social networks and video games it can affect their sleep and the wake up restless, or even worse more dedicated to the social outlets as not to feel left out.

One way we can help beat this is 3 hours before bed time all phones away and give the brain a stimulating activity so that it can function up to speed and breathe and eat knowledge as it is meant to .

Implement family night with boardgames or trivia or a fun activity outsides that can help build your social recognizance.

Giving your body and brain diversity keeps it sharp and uplifting and gives you those extra tools for life.

For instance some of the social idols for todays teens can be what we call social influencers.

A social influencer is someone who uses their social media status to push products on their young audience to buy said product on their social media page for what said influencer is paid for by the brand.

See video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SOFSjlU0fM

on a site called mom junction I found 11 positive and negative influences of teen on social media

https://www.momjunction.com/articles/positive-and-negative-influences-of-media-on-teenagers_00107975/

I will just use 2 of each:

Help Develop Social Skills:

Many teens are socially awkward. Media gives them the chance to groom their social skills. It also gives them the chance to expand their social circle and develop new friendships. Other benefits include social confidence, heightened literacy in the media, and more social support. Social media diversifies your teen’s social skills, which in turn helps him navigate successfully through modern society

Inspire Them:

When your teen watches an action flick, don’t just despair about the violence. With a little guidance, they can use the movie as inspiration! Maybe your teen will decide to take up martial arts training, all thanks to a Bruce Lee movie! Teenagers look up to celebrities, and when a celebrity tells them to stay off drugs, they just might listen.

Negative theories

Risky Sexual Behavior:

Teenagers are just discovering their sexuality. It is very normal for them to be interested in everything sexual. But the amount of sex in media today can make a teenager confused. Sex without responsibility – that seems to be the message being beamed at teenagers. This can lead to irresponsible sexual behavior and unwanted pregnancies.

[ Read:Teenage Social Media Addiction]

Making Everything Commercial:

Happiness comes at a price. At least that’s the message teenagers get through media. Their life would be perfect if only you’d buy them that hot new game, that happening dress. Advertisers target teenagers to ramp up their revenues. But teenagers fall prey to the idea of commercialization of happiness.

According to Erickson’s Developmental theory, an individual faces a developmental crisis at each stage ( a conflict between a positive alternative and a potentially unhealthy alternative). “…The emphasis on ones own identity at a point in time when the way forward was no longer determined by ones parents or by society…resulting in a crisis of identity”. (westenberg 2008:2)

Now that we have that tackled, let us discuss some of the good of social media:

Ive mentioned previously above that social media is a platform:

for instance the parkland shooting in the united states where a group of students took to social media to voice their opinions after surviving yet another tragic massacre and became activist in their own rights to fight against NRA and force a national debate.

https://www.vox.com/2018/2/26/17054408/parkland-shooting-activist-teens-gun-control

if we were to apply Urie Bronfebenner's theory of Ecological Theory of Human Development.

Urie Bronfenbrenner (April 29, 1917 – September 25, 2005) was a Russian-born American psychologist who is most known for his ecological systems theory.[1] His work with the United States government helped in the formation of the Head start program in 1965.[2] Bronfenbrenner's ability research was key in changing the perspective of developmental psychology by calling attention to the large number of environmental and societal influences on child development.

Or young high school or college students or athletes using their popularity on social media to spread the knowledge of social injustice

As you can see young adults have used social media to help lead them along the way to do great things these are the most beautiful forms of social media.

Then of course there is the ugly.

Social media is also an open platform, for some it can allow you to be subsequent to

for instance research has shown that spending to much time on social media can lead lead to depression .

As noted by such research sites such as ivesciences

https://www.livescience.com/51294-cyberbullying-social-media-teen-depression.html

Don't get me with twisted everything in this life there are the good and the bad.

Take for instance social media have given us the means to reach millions if not billions of people across the globe to relay our message but it can also allow you to portray just a an image of yourself but factual and superficial.

CYBERBULLYING

Do you know the dangers of cyber bullying?

Cyber bullying has taken on one of the worst form of emotional en mental damage to it's victims.

There have been an extreme amount of cyber bullying that has led to the victims committing suicide.

I don't know about you but no child should have o go through so much that they rather take their own lives because of such cowardly behavior from another that hides behind a sometimes fake profile.

Here is an article from lie science backing thees findings:

https://www.livescience.com/51294-cyberbullying-social-media-teen-depression.html

For instance in adolescents cat fishing has been major issue.

For those who don't know catfish(ing ) is pretending to be someone your not on he internet/ social media .

The most cat-fishers claim to show interest in you and try to either make you fall in love with them or to manipulate you for their own personal cause.

https://socialnewsdaily.com/11296/catfishing-infographic/

Cat-fishing is often employed for romance scams,on dating websites. Cat-fishing may be used for financial gain, to compromise a victim in some way, or simply as a form of trolling or wish fulfillment.Sadly the study found that cat-fishers will use traumatic experiences such as cancer, accidents and death to avoid meeting their victims in real life.

As we look into the psychological make up of cat-fishing its almost always done by one person making of a fake social media platform. It is because it is so easy to mask our through selves behind the windows of social media. Another bad reference is that it is now easier for bullies and psychopaths to reach our youth online through social media.

Other platforms with social media use

Lets take a look into the platform that our adolescents role into.

For instance youtube, youtube was seen for many years as just a media outlet where we could watch short documentaries and comedy stints and especially watch music videos.

Nowadays youtube has a huge role into social media and social development of todays youth.

Yes i know the argument would come as wow really (sarcastically) and others would say thats always been the way it has been ( true) but never like before.

Just a few insight as to what goes on you tube you can see stuff like live video gaming where you can talk to and relate your skills.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft54bgeMBlg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc-vvpFft2c

https://video.fosterwebmarketing.com/fosterwebmarketing.com/httpdocs/evm/1080_fosterwebmarketing_017_gina_youtube_h264_640x360.mp4

Also where the can communicate with anime pages, show their life with life vlogs and star in their own reality clips, put on their own personal showcases with live interaction.

The've built up a platform where they can showcase their many talents.

For instance Justin Bieber himself was discovered on youtube and signed a record deal as a teenager.

But social media can also lead to the a substantial difference to the development of the adolescent brain, if you click on the lick here under you can see a couple of test run on teenagers who are on social media and how their brains develop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QWoP6jJG3k

**Where do i belong **

We have seen an outstanding amount of young people all searching to find their peers and to adhere to whatever social group.

Take for instance such support groups that help them deal with their sexuality, ideology and identity

LBGTQ

Feminism

race

beliefs & religion

sex & sexual experimenting

social experimenting

every teen wants to find his or her social group or spot in society; and social media in its various forms helps to steer them to that source.

We should always pay attention to our students and kids for they are discovering their paths be it good or bad they will find person or social peers who share their interest.

Piaget (1936) was the first psychologist to make a systematic study of cognitive development.

Sensorimotor stage: birth to 2 years

Preoperational stage: ages 2 to 7

Concrete operational stage: ages 7 to 11

Formal operational stage: ages 12 and up

The Sensorimotor Stage

Major Characteristics and Developmental Changes:

The infant knows the world through their movements and sensations

Children learn about the world through basic actions such as sucking, grasping, looking, and listening

Infants learn that things continue to exist even though they cannot be seen (object permanence)

They are separate beings from the people and objects around them

They realize that their actions can cause things to happen in the world around them

During this earliest stage of cognitive development, infants and toddlers acquire knowledge through sensory experiences and manipulating objects. A child's entire experience at the earliest period of this stage occurs through basic reflexes, senses, and motor responses.T

The Preoperational Stage

Major Characteristics and Developmental Changes:

Children begin to think symbolically and learn to use words and pictures to represent objects.

Children at this stage tend to be egocentric and struggle to see things from the perspective of others.

While they are getting better with language and thinking, they still tend to think about things in very concrete terms.

The foundations of language development may have been laid during the previous stage, but it is the emergence of language that is one of the major hallmarks of the preoperational stage of development

The Concrete Operational Stage

Major Characteristics and Developmental Changes

During this stage, children begin to thinking logically about concrete events

They begin to understand the concept of conservation; that the amount of liquid in a short, wide cup is equal to that in a tall, skinny glass, for example

Their thinking becomes more logical and organized, but still very concrete

Children begin using inductive logic, or reasoning from specific information to a general principle

While children are still very concrete and literal in their thinking at this point in development, they become much more adept at using logic.2 The egocentrism of the previous stage begins to disappear as kids become better at thinking about how other people might view a situation.

The Formal Operational Stage

Major Characteristics and Developmental Changes:

At this stage, the adolescent or young adult begins to think abstractly and reason about hypothetical problems

Abstract thought emerges

Teens begin to think more about moral, philosophical, ethical, social, and political issues that require theoretical and abstract reasoning

Begin to use deductive logic, or reasoning from a general principle to specific information

The final stage of Piaget's theory involves an increase in logic, the ability to use deductive reasoning, and an understanding of abstract ideas.3 At this point, people become capable of seeing multiple potential solutions to problems and think more scientifically about the world around them.

In theory we as teachers should not fear the use of social media but instead learn to harness its powers.

To use it as our umbrella to educate by implementing it into our lessons we can control it for the mos.

For instance the making of a social media portfolio where they can use social media better in there english class and basically amy skill set you want to embody on todays adolescents.

For some of us with teenage students we can find it off putting but by my observations there are some differential factors in the use of social media and their personal development from said social society.

Some of the factors are :

Culture/ region of upbringing

Race

Morals and values

Religion

and of course age

With all of these factors we should always monitor our children/ students and have them take time for a detox.

We should also try not to hover over them but enlighten them and instead of nag give them a sense of responsibility where then their brain can develop in multiple ways. Think of it as exercise for the brain.

**Live Long and Prosper & Remember to Elevate and Educate **

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the-gemini-systemii-blog · 5 years ago

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Memories from our headcanon...

A BTAS sequel where Scarface meets Peyton Riley... Originally typed out in a chat on Discord so it’s a little choppy but the boss did his best!

Arnold Wesker is the original ventriloquist and scarface is a "haunted" ventriloquist's dummy you will find out soon for a fact that he is haunted

Arkham Asylum is steadily being renovated as a treatment center for the mentally ill

and they were in OK hands but it was still called "Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane" at the time

Big sad feels from the Boss, hearing that name

I'm a Virgo, by the way

my birthday is September 22nd 1993

"I was extremely disabled, without my ventriloquist. He brought me to life... But I had my own mind. My own dreams. I'm not speaking out loud anymore, by the way. I'm communicating my moving my lips with my tongue."

(I'm gunna speak in parentheses by the way so the boss can tell a story!)

Oh, thank you! I got real depressed thinking back on Arnold and the Asylum and to cheer me up Peyton went upstairs to work on my puppet. He has a button eye now, and I got to meet Joanne, our staff member at the supportive housing where we live now... I slur like a drunk, haha, but Peyton’s going to be a great ventriloquist. We're gunna make it big.

It was still about making it big, back then, about three years ago, I was still with Arnold in Arkham Asylum. It was about making it big in my tiniest wood grains. But the immediate fight was much harder. I needed to prove I had rights. We were in therapy, and Harleen was saying "You think you'll still be Scarface without Arnold?"

I remember banging my fiist on the table. "I want to try!" I said.

"Give me the puppet, Arnold,” she said.

Arnold splutters. "This man... is very fragile... he does not believe..."

"ARNOLD!" she sais.

He bows his head and hands me to her. She does some dopey man voice, it's hard to resist with my iconic dummy, and says "Hur durr, I'm Scarface!"

Arnold says "Try... opening your mind... a little..." And as I turn my head to face her... as she turns the dummy around... she starts to get a really creepy feeling inside. She gets a really good look into my eyes. I'm a posession spirit, and albiet weakly, I managed to posess Harleen Quinzell She takes the dummy off her hand, shaken, and her hand is stiff and white. Arnold takes me back, and I sigh, thinking it was useless. Thinking her mind was too strong. Knowing what happens next. They put my puppet into miniature restraints and walk me and the ventriloquist down the hall to our room. They lock me in. They don't do that anymore. But the doors were locked back then.

I guess I should talk about me and Arnold, even though those weren't happy times. I'm staring out the door. He's quiet. He has asked, in the past, Do you want to talk, scarface? And I always bark "Quiet!" I think he's a curse. I should have treated him better. But I needed brains. I was staring out into the hallway And the guards start teasing me...

"Should we inject the dummy?"

"Haha which one's the dummy?"

I've heard it a million times.

There's a new guy though, he's a little confused, but he's read my file. I'm a patient too he says "Hey, he's locked in, shouldn't we take him out of his restraints?"

That depends on who's on duty. Jonathan Crane is very kind but often, we're restrained for hours. I'm just lucky they couldn't fit a straightjacket on my dummy. And they start talking

teasing

all kinds of ideas

they talk about taking me away from Arnold

about passing me around among the guards to see if I can break out

I want them to

I want them to so bad

but they're too scared

I feel my face --it's wood. The jaw moves. The eyes blink. But I feel a sneer. Usually when I become overcome with emotion, it bleeds into Arnold but this time it isn't Arnold sneering; it's Harleen. I see her in my mind's eye and then I hear her voice. My heart leaps.

"HEY! You dopes clear out! I got therapy with this one! " She’s running down the hallway with an empty sack over her shoulder. I press my hands up against the glass.

"Sorry Arnold," She says, "Your cellmate has a private session."

I can't quite describe how I experience reality when I'm posessing someone

her hands over my wooden body I'm very aware of my form but I can feel her breasts bounce as she runs

I knew from that moment that I wanted a woman to come into posession of me

"Alright" she says, propping me up and looking into my eyes. "You can stop that."

I'm silent. Playing dumb. "Creepy doll..."

She closes my eyes and puts me in a bag.

The next thing I know, I'm on my back, and there are fireflies in the air. My eyes are going crazy, my jaw is opening and shutting. I put up a hand to steady myself and say "Arnold, are you drunk???"

One of the dark silohuettes puts a finger to my lips and says "She's only a child."

And that's why I can't tell you what happened in the garden

they say I'm not allowed to access the memories I made while posessing Poison Ivy's daughter

her name was honeydew or raindrop or something like that

and they said that I had been a dryad in a past life

my name was Woody Vines

They made my wood green again, and I got past life memories... strolling through poison ivy’s garden. I wore a brown fedora then. I walked with a cane.

bunch o' hoodoo ... maybe it's true

either way they wanted to get me personhood

but the best they could do was to drug arnold with the same coctail they used on Harv and Batman to bring the alternate personality out and dominate the mundane controlling personality, to supress Harvey and Arnold and Batman’s civilian identity, whoever that is

it involves fear toxin, but I don't know any more than that I was transferred to the care of Jonathan Crane, who stopped restraining me and told me that he believed Poison Ivy to an extent and that at her request, if my dreams of finding a new ventriloquest didn't work out, my dummy would be laid to rest in the garden and Arnold and I wrote out extensive offers and contracts, but we couldn't get me independant personhood in the end... and I'm ashamed of this... I agreed to be sold as an object

I talked to Jonathan

I wanted a clean slate

someone I could mould and train

a woman,

and I made my wishes known to some of my old mob connections, but it didn't work out at first

Arnold wanted his money's worth

the debate on weather or not I was an independant person had only driven up my publicity and my price tag and I got sold to someone sleasy from America's Got Talent who visited me for several sessions in the asylum, where he insisted he didn't want me restrained. I remember crossing my legs unsteadily as he tries to get his hand up my back. My stomache in knots, putting his stomache in knots. He probably didn't expect to be frightened. I was very nervous, and I could tell he was shocked.

His first words to me were "So the rumors are true... you do have a mind of your own."

And I said "Could you say that again where the press can here you please?"

He never told me his real name. Only his stage name. Burt Laughingstock. When I scoffed he shook his finger at me and said “names had power “Scarface...”

“Woody...” I said. “We’re offstage.” I loved having a real name. I’m leaving out a lot of legitimate rehabilitation I went through in Arkham. I was so tired of being tied to Arnold’s fears and repressed violence, and that name, Scarface, I don’t hate it, but he’s a character. I tried to make the best of it. But the first show he took me on turned out to be some kind of tell-all Behind-the-laughter crap, and when I found out... I bit his finger off.

Little did I know, the sap had several documentations of his sound mental health and non-violent history, and he said if the dummy turned out to be evil, he wanted it destroyed. But Dr. Crane came through for me, saying that I hadn't committed an executionable offence. I looked like hannibal lecter when they brought me to court with Burt as my ventriloquest... strapped to a board by my hands and legs... cage around my mouth... but I didn't struggle... I knew I had my personhood argument in the bag... and I like being feared.

A mob lawyer came through for me and got me off on misdemeaner battery, with the heartrending defence that I had been sold to Burt as property when I had requested an open-minded female aide. They paired me up with a female cellmate as a favor to Sean Riley, and that's how I met Peyton Riley... and that's how I ended up where I am today (That's the end of the boss's story!) Yeah, that's the end of my story.

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sitinthelight · 6 years ago

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Well Zach is in his hometown for a few days and I’m in this weird restless mood while being super tired at the exact same time.

I want to go drinking and I want to dance. Actually, I mostly just want to dance. I want to be happy and so fucking giddy that I’m out of my mind and care free and just be in that moment when nothing matters so I’m going to have a good time.

Do you ever have a conversation and you realize hmmm, I probably shouldn’t have said that because now it’s weird? I mean, that’s kind of every extended conversation I have with anyone but still.

I kind of want to punch myself in the face (((: but at the same time, I want to go dancing, so?

I am not going to beat myself up over this! I refuse to! You know, I have gotten so much better about feeling guilty over everything! And I was being vulnerable! So bonus points, right?

Anyway, I’m friends with my ex. I guess we’ve become good friends in the past several months. He asked me if I still was planning to move to Charlotte and of course my whole situation is convoluted (in my mind) so I was like, can I explain it to you over skye because I didn’t feel like talking about it through text.

Jesus, I have no idea how anyone deals with me and talking to me because words don’t come out of my mouth correctly? Like in my head I’m just like this is what I will say! But when it comes out of my mouth it’s like scrabble with words. Have fun rearranging my sentence and guessing what I’m trying to say! AND I SAID NOT TO BEAT MYSELF UP. I will learn how to talk to people one day, I swear.

SO, we’re skyping and he finally gets me to start talking about the situation at hand and I’m explaining the developments in some sort of way and telling him my options. I then proceed to kind of casually mention my hesitation of moving to a new place with Zach because I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be with him. AND boy oh boy oh boy, why did I mention that? To my ex.

Granted, he took it well. He is probably used to my awkwardness by now so I’m guessing that helps and he was very nice and understanding about it and didn’t ask any further questions and I don’t even remember what I said after that.

But I’m kind of mortified.

Btw, I was finally emailed the new leasing terms for my apartment as this current lease ends in July. The new rent will be nearly $1000 and I’m just in shock that they put it up that high out of seemingly no where? With no justification. This is a nice place, I have been very fortunate to have been able to live here for the past 2 years but fuck that. I’m going to start paying my own rent in July and I’m not spending that much money on rent in fucking Winston Salem. Literally, the only other apartments in this area that are that expensive are the fancy luxury ones downtown.

Is $1000 a month normal in other cities or even considered a steal for a 2 bedroom 2 bath? Oh absolutely, but this is Winston Salem. I was told that the price I’ve been paying this past year was way too high but this extra $150 is just head-scratching. How? Why? What on earth. I know Charlotte is worse but like, this isn’t Charlotte.

Yikes can I go on a tangent. Anywayyyyy, yes. I am mortified. Yep yep yep yep yep. Always saying a little toooooo much to people who don’t really need to know that much. Is he a good friend? yes. But he is also my ex and he doesn’t need shit like that dumped on him as I’m sure he has his own problems to deal with.

But it’s been done. It has been said. He was nice about it! I will let this feeling happen for as long as it needs to and then I will resume normal business. I will apologize in the morning and it will be fine. He’ll be cool about it like he always is.

However, there is some adrenaline in my system right now. Like, my mind is going wwwoooooosh all over the place.

I always used to be on my toes around my ex, even during the month and a half we dated. Even during everything that happened after that. He gave me soooo much social anxiety. I once held my pee in for like 4 hours hanging out with him because I was too afraid to move or say I had to go to the bathroom. But Jesus, I reallyyyyy liked him and I wanted to get to know him better and whelp, it’s several years later and I finally am getting over my social anxiety with him. Talking to him regularly has definitely helped.

Honestly, my social anxiety hasn’t been bad lately. I’m still reluctant to make phone calls, except at work. I’m doing so much better with calling people at work. That used to be my most hated task at the bookstore. I hated calling customers to give them bad news about their orders. I always tried to send out emails instead.

But I’ve been chatty with my coworkers and trying to establish “bonds” with them. Dave and Busters opened in the mall so I’m trying to slowly and low-key convince my coworker to go with me. She’s pretty cool. We actually have a lot in common but sadly we are both awkward introverts so it’s taken a year of working with each other to finally figure that out.

The coworker I really wanted to be friends with quit. I feel like we could have been pretty good friends because we have SO much in common and she definitely tried getting to know me on multiple occasions but my personality can be so unforgiving. I act uninterested in fear of being overly interested and IT IS FUCKING GREAT ((((((:

It’s also very possible that I may have had a tiny crush on her. Not like an OMG I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS PERSON type of crush. More like, she’s cute and quirky and I really think she’s cool but I have a boyfriend so these thoughts will stay subdued.

But I haven’t really felt socially anxious lately? And that’s been great. It makes my world a smidge more easier. Depression though? Still here. Always lurking. Always waiting for a moment to strike. The nice weather helps so much though. I’m still weighing pros and cons of medication and therapy in my current situation. I definitely want to put a lot more research and thought into it before I make any decisions. I just know that I want to be on some proper treatment path before seasonal depression hits again.

You know, I have the day off tomorrow. Originally I was going to stay in for most of the day. I was going to leave to pick up a package from the front office (because I bought the most “me” shoes ever”), but now I’m debating actually going out and doing something.

I kind of want to go downtown. That’s so far been my favorite part of this city. There is a brewery/bar that makes an amazing vegetarian burger and though I’m not vegetarian, it’s a fucking amazing burger. Right next to that brewery is a really cool store that sells local items and they have a huge selection of vintage clothes! I walked in out of curiosity a few weeks ago and fell in love with the atmosphere and just the general vibe of the place.

I’m now considering this because I just got an email (who sends emails after midnight?) from the metaphysical store downtown. There is apparently going to be a flash sale and while I don’t need new crystals, they had some really cool ones last time I was in there and hey, maybe this is the time to pick some new ones up.

This is all just a late night and too tired to be alive fever dream though. Honestly, I’ll probably just stay in but one of these days, I’ll do something fun. When I finally get this driving thing down, I’ll have as many fun days as I want because it just sounds like a hassle getting an uber there and back and walking around downtown (which is huge and not every street is entirely safe) by myself. Like the crystal store. It’s really only a ten minute walk but I’m a chicken, okay? I’ve never dealt with so many creeps in my life in any other city as I have here. Did that sentence even make sense? Probably not, I don’t care.

BUT I MIGHT SEE SUPERORGANISM SUNDAY. SO THAT WILL BE FUN.

I’m really hoping Zach will be up for it. I’m praying he will be. I really really really want to go. I’ve become so fond of this band. I’d be so happy to see them live. Also the venue is in a former mid-century car dealership so I’m dying to see it. Zach is the only person whose been around me often enough to know this but I LOVE mid-century modern design and architecture.

I also want a reason to wear fun make up and dress up. Like, this is an excuse to use crazy eyeshadow and glitter because the band is fairly eccentric.

We’ll see though. Zach was supposed to be driving back Saturday evening but his dad bought tickets to see some musician (Bob...S...something) in Virginia for Saturday evening so he’ll be driving back Sunday morning instead :/ It’s like a 4 hour drive from there to here so I don’t know if he’ll have the energy or motivation to drive 1.5 hours to Durham for a band he is only mildly interested in.

I really should just stay in tomorrow though. I could really use the time to answer the essay questions for my application for school and answer back to the advisor (that they already assigned me?). He just wants to go over the program details with me because it is a bit rigorous. I’m up for the challenge though. I need something productive to occupy my time with and I’ve had a good break these past 2 years.

#I literally talk to myself in these posts #also #I wrote this around 1 am #passed out #woke up around 4 am #wrote these tags #and hit post #sooo I'm going back to bed

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abecedarienne · 2 years ago

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A cult of indulgence

La manifestation (1893) - Félix Vallotton

Today I'm home sick from work, actively fighting what might be the flu, but also fighting guilt. Battling a sore throat while teaching a class is not a good combination, so I've decided to abstain temporarily from putting on a public face. I'll make it back tomorrow. I just needed this one day off to feel healthier, but also to transgress.

I figured hot tea is one remedy for my ailment, so I put on the electric kettle and checked the tea box for how long I should let the sachet steep (I only recently learned that the time spent steeping matters...). The packaging told me five minutes, but in seeing this, I also caught a glimpse of the front of the box, which reads: "VANILLA COMORO: A Creamy, Decaffeinated Indulgence." I found this puzzling, given that I wouldn't consider this tea at all "indulgent." Yes, it has a pleasant scent, but it contains no "guilty pleasures" that, to me, would constitute an "indulgence." It is not fatty or sugary or salty or any other alimentary attribute that makes something "bad" for you taste "good."

For me, to indulge means to allow oneself to participate in or enjoy something pleasant. While this tea does have a pleasant odor and taste, I did not feel like I had to "allow" myself to partake. I wanted to soothe my sore throat, and this tea is what I had available. Granted, this tea was probably a bit more expensive than, say, Lipton, but I doubt it cost me more than $10. A little extra cash, sure; an indulgence, no. There was no hemming and hawing, no cost-benefit analysis. I bought and consumed the tea without debate, and it was only upon encountering the label "indulgence" that such an act became a possibility to me. In other words, I had not seen the tea as an "indulgence," but the tea packaging swiftly made me feel "indulgent." In this way, it seems that marketers are responsible for not only creating desire, but also for creating guilt.

Once such decadent guilt is created in the tea-drinker (i.e., the consumer), they're willing to pay a higher price to assuage the guilt of having even considered consuming it. It's financially masochistic in a way. If I had to decide to indulge in either a $1 candy bar at the checkout line and a cute $60 pair of shoes that I don't need, I would probably go for the latter. Though both are excessive, with the shoes being much more so economically, being able to throw down more money for a "guilty pleasure" is like being able to proclaim, "I'm unashamed to indulge! I'm proud of my guilty pleasure!" Autrement dit, money allows for a way to bypass guilt. Monetary decisions transcend any moral conundrums. Morality poses a question that money can supposedly answer. If I can proudly slam my cash on the counter, I have apparently solved my moral dilemmas, defining "right" and "wrong" through where my money does and doesn't go.

If not in confession with a priest, with a good friend, or in another private setting, to talk about "guilt" and "indulgence" publicly belies such a claim. This is why public discussions of "indulgence" seem to me to have another function. I don't believe by talking about those feelings that one assuages oneself fully. (Such a belief—the all-healing power of "talking through things"—is probably attributable to the rise and subsequent pervasiveness of therapy-based language and ideologies.) Instead, what I think is happening here is that guilt, like perhaps all other "emotions" nowadays, has been reified, harnessed, and commodified beyond the point of personal recognition. It works in service of capital, at least when we see it rear its public-facing head. What marketing teams do is much more convoluted than simply creating desire and its objects. Rather, in addition to manufacturing these things in a way that aligns with company interests, they also make you feel guilty about doing these things, and then they provide a simple escape route from that guilt, for the low price of $60 (and your morals). The object of desire is painted at once as the problem and the solution. Companies line their pockets as consumers spend time wringing their hands over buying or not buying a specialty latte.

Indulgence is our God. We're an indulgence-fearing people, in awe of the ways in which indulgence (or guilt) can punish us, reward us, or guide us. By seeing indulgence as a divine force, we stop ourselves from asking if there is a power higher than indulgence itself, if there is a sort of grammar or metaphysic that organizes the indulgent powers that be. Inspired by my current Nietzschean kick, I'll say this: indulgence is dead, and it is our economic system that has killed it. We can no longer ask if we can get away with something just by covering it up with whatever means we deem fitting (in this case, money). We cannot even pass on questions of "right" and "wrong" to things that call themselves higher powers. Sometimes we learn that what we have done is "wrong" or "indulgent." But these are experiences that we should not be trying to evade or shield ourselves from with capital. Indulgence should be more like a wind than a burning bush or a flood. It passes through, and though it may change things, it does not destroy.

Irène Némirovsky wrote in Suite française, "Important events—whether serious, happy or unfortunate—do not change a man’s soul, they merely bring it into relief, just as a strong gust of wind reveals the true shape of a tree when it blows off all its leaves. Such events highlight what is hidden in the shadows, they nudge the spirit towards a place where it can flourish." "Good" choices color a life as much as "bad" choices do, but very often what we understand as "choice" makes up a very small portion of a life. These "winds" are supposed to move through us; we are not supposed to move around them. But this is only known to those who are faithful enough to their own morals (whatever those may be), rather than to ambient economic forces and anxieties.

And no, neither the day off nor the tea made me feel any better or less guilty. Venting via essay about my guilt also did nothing. I should hold hands with my guilt until it chooses to walk away, telling me "it's not you, it's me." If corporations should not dictate or manipulate feelings, then "I" should not be able to do so either. What are feelings to "I," to a conscious mind? The mind can take a sick day, feelings not so much.

#me

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morgueghost · 7 years ago

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paypal | ko-fi | tarot examples | sigil examples

so i’ve been debating making this post since i first got the bill from my dog’s vet.. but i really can’t afford this without help, and this will be cheaper than even my normal reading prices, so i figure it’s worth a shot..

my dog has a very severe ear infection, the vet said it’s the worst she’s seen in years.. they estimated over the phone that the visit would cost $90, but it was far worse than they thought, so the medicine brought the price way up, to just under $300..

my mom was able to cover the cost, and i paid the original $90 to her before we even went, but that still leaves $190 that i need to pay, and i don’t have it.. he’s also going back this week for a checkup and that’ll be at least another $90, more if he needs more medicine..

we usually go to a low-cost vet who has free visits and low medicine prices, but they weren’t open on the 28th and his ear had started bleeding from the infection, so we had to find a vet to treat him that day..

i’m not going to ask for donations because there are people who need the money more than i do.. the bill is paid, so i don’t have to worry about late fees or anything, i just have to pay her back and cover the cost of the next visit..

i make $750 a month from SSI, $300 of it goes to rent, the rest to food and bills. i’m also trying to save up to move out, so i’ve stopped buying anything save for necessities and a $3 coffee once a week before i go to therapy.. i’m very strapped for cash and it’ll take me a months to pay my mom back without help. she doesn’t have a huge income either, and she’s almost as strapped for cash as i am, so the sooner i can pay her back the better i’d feel..

so instead of donations, i’m going to be doing pay what you can readings for the foreseeable future.. i have a paypal and a ko-fi you can send payment to, whatever you can afford is fine.. please include your username in the notes of the payment, or if you’d like to be anonymous, include your question or sigil intent, and the identifier you used in your ask.

readings will be one card with my choice of deck.. if you’re anonymous please include an identifier (initials, name, zodiac, emoji, w/e) with your question or sigil intent

if you send $2 or more you can choose which deck i use, ask for multiple readings, or multiple cards for one reading, or multiple sigil intents

if you send through paypal, please make sure to send it as a gift or paypal will take fees out of it

please reblog to spread the word, even if you can’t afford or don’t want a reading/sigil, one of your followers might, or one of their followers, etc.. thanks for reading 💕

#tarot reading #tarot sale #tarot sales #tarot readings #tarot #tarot community #sigils #sigil #sigil sales #sigil sale #pay what you can #ghost.txt

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orbemnews · 4 years ago

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What Would It Take to Vaccinate the World Against Covid? In delivering vaccines, pharmaceutical companies aided by monumental government investments have given humanity a miraculous shot at liberation from the worst pandemic in a century. But wealthy countries have captured an overwhelming share of the benefit. Only 0.3 percent of the vaccine doses administered globally have been given in the 29 poorest countries, home to about 9 percent of the world’s population. Vaccine manufacturers assert that a fix is already at hand as they aggressively expand production lines and contract with counterparts around the world to yield billions of additional doses. Each month, 400 million to 500 million doses of the vaccines from Moderna, Pfizer and Johnson & Johnson are now being produced, according to an American official with knowledge of global supply. But the world is nowhere close to having enough. About 11 billion shots are needed to vaccinate 70 percent of the world’s population, the rough threshold needed for herd immunity, researchers at Duke University estimate. Yet, so far, only a small fraction of that has been produced. While global production is difficult to measure, the analytics firm Airfinity estimates the total so far at 1.7 billion doses. The problem is that many raw materials and key equipment remain in short supply. And the global need for vaccines might prove far greater than currently estimated, given that the coronavirus presents a moving target: If dangerous new variants emerge, requiring booster shots and reformulated vaccines, demand could dramatically increase, intensifying the imperative for every country to lock up supply for its own people. The only way around the zero-sum competition for doses is to greatly expand the global supply of vaccines. On that point, nearly everyone agrees. But what is the fastest way to make that happen? On that question, divisions remain stark, undermining collective efforts to end the pandemic. Some health experts argue that the only way to avert catastrophe is to force drug giants to relax their grip on their secrets and enlist many more manufacturers in making vaccines. In place of the existing arrangement — in which drug companies set up partnerships on their terms, while setting the prices of their vaccines — world leaders could compel or persuade the industry to cooperate with more companies to yield additional doses at rates affordable to poor countries. Those advocating such intervention have focused on two primary approaches: waiving patents to allow many more manufacturers to copy existing vaccines, and requiring the pharmaceutical companies to transfer their technology — that is, help other manufacturers learn to replicate their products. The World Trade Organization — the de facto referee in international trade disputes — is the venue for negotiations on how to proceed. But the institution operates by consensus, and so far, there is none. The Biden administration recently joined more than 100 countries in asking the W.T.O. to partially set aside vaccine patents. But the European Union has signaled its intent to oppose waivers and support only voluntary tech transfers, essentially taking the same position as the pharmaceutical industry, whose aggressive lobbying has heavily shaped the rules in its favor. Some experts warn that revoking intellectual property rules could disrupt the industry, slowing its efforts to deliver vaccines — like reorganizing the fire department amid an inferno. “We need them to scale up and deliver,” said Simon J. Evenett, an expert on trade and economic development at the University of St. Gallen in Switzerland. “We have this huge production ramp up. Nothing should get in the way to threaten it.” Others counter that trusting the pharmaceutical industry to provide the world with vaccines helped create the current chasm between vaccine haves and have-nots. The world should not put poorer countries “in this position of essentially having to go begging, or waiting for donations of small amounts of vaccine,” said Dr. Chris Beyrer, senior scientific liaison to the Covid-19 Prevention Network. “The model of charity is, I think, an unacceptable model.” In this fractious atmosphere, the W.T.O.’s leaders are crafting their proceedings less as a push to formally change the rules than as a negotiation that will persuade national governments and the global pharmaceutical industry to agree on a unified plan — ideally in the next few months. The Europeans are banking on the notion that the vaccine makers, fearing patent waivers, will eventually agree to the transfers, especially if the world’s richest countries throw money their way to make sharing know-how more palatable. Many public health experts say that patent waivers will have no meaningful effect unless vaccine makers also share their manufacturing methods. Waivers are akin to publishing a complex recipe; tech transfer is like sending a master chef to someone’s kitchen to teach them how to cook the dish. “If you’re to manufacture vaccines, you need several things to work at the same time,” the W.T.O. director-general, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, told journalists recently. “If there is no transfer of technology, it won’t work.” Even with waivers, technology transfers and expanded access to raw materials, experts say it would take about six months for more drug makers to start churning out vaccines. The only short-term fix, they and European leaders say, is for wealthy countries — especially the United States — to donate and export more of their stock to the rest of the world. The European Union allowed the export of hundreds of millions of doses, as many as it kept at home, while the United States held fast to its supply. But boosting donations and exports entails risk. India shipped out more than 60 million doses this year, including donations, before halting vaccine exports a month ago. Now, as a wave of death ravages the largely unvaccinated Indian population, the government is drawing fire at home for having let go of doses. The details of any plan to boost vaccinations worldwide may matter less than revamping the incentives that have produced the status quo. Wealthy countries, especially in the West, have monopolized most of the supply of vaccines not through happenstance, but as a result of economic and political realities. Companies like Pfizer and Moderna have logged billions of dollars in revenue by selling most of their doses to deep-pocketed governments in North America and Europe. The deals left too few doses available for Covax, a multilateral partnership created to funnel vaccines to low- and middle-income nations at relatively low prices. While the partnership has been hampered by multiple problems — most recently India’s blocking exports amid its own crisis — the snapping up of doses by rich countries was a crucial blow. “We as high-income countries made sure the market was lopsided,” said Mark Eccleston-Turner, an expert on international law and infectious diseases at Keele University in England. “The fundamental problem is that the system is broken, but it’s broken in our favor.” Changing that calculus may depend on persuading wealthy countries that allowing the pandemic to rage on in much of the world poses universal risks by allowing variants to take hold, forcing the world into an endless cycle of pharmaceutical catch-up. “It needs to be global leaders functioning as a unit, to say that vaccine is a form of global security,” said Dr. Rebecca Weintraub, a global health expert at Harvard Medical School. She suggested that the G7, the group of leading economies, could lead such a campaign and finance it when the members convene in England next month. The argument over Covid vaccines harkens back to the debate over access to antiretroviral drugs for H.I.V. in the 1990s. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the first powerful H.I.V. drug therapy in 1995, resulting in a plunge in deaths in the United States and Europe, where people could afford the therapy. But deaths in sub-Saharan Africa and Asia continued to climb. In 2001, the W.T.O. ruled that countries could allow local companies to break patents for domestic use given an urgent need. The ruling is still in place. But without technology transfers, few local drug makers would be able to quickly replicate vaccines. In 2003, the W.T.O. took a crucial further step for H.I.V. drugs, waiving patents and allowing low-income countries to import generic versions manufactured in Thailand, South Africa and India, helping contain the epidemic. With Covid, the request for a patent waiver has come from the South African and Indian governments, which are seeking to engineer a repeat of that history. In opposing the initiative, the pharmaceutical industry has reprised the argument it made decades ago: Any weakening of intellectual property, or I.P., protection discourages the investment that yields lifesaving innovation. “The only reason why we have vaccines right now was because there was a vibrant private sector,” said Dr. Albert Bourla, chief executive of Pfizer, speaking in a recent interview. “The vibrancy of the private sector, the lifeblood, is the I.P. protection.” But in producing vaccines, the private sector harnessed research financed by taxpayers in the United States, Germany and other wealthy nations. Pfizer expects to sell $26 billion worth of Covid vaccines this year; Moderna forecasts that its sales of Covid vaccines will exceed $19 billion for 2021. History also challenges industry claims that blanket global patent rights are a requirement for the creation of new medicines. Until the mid-1990s, drug makers could patent their products only in the wealthiest markets, while negotiating licenses that allowed companies in other parts of the world to make generic versions. Even in that era, drug companies continued to innovate. And they continued to prosper even with the later waivers on H.I.V. drugs. “At the time, it rattled a lot of people, like ‘How could you do that? It’s going to destroy the pharmaceutical industry,’” recalled Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, President Biden’s chief medical adviser for the pandemic. “It didn’t destroy them at all. They continue to make billions of dollars.” Leaders in the wealthiest Western nations have endorsed more equitable distribution of vaccines for this latest scourge. But the imperative to ensure ample supplies for their own nations has won out as the virus killed hundreds of thousands of their own people, devastated economies, and sowed despair. The drug companies have also promised more support for poorer nations. AstraZeneca’s vaccine has been the primary supply for Covax, and the company says it has sold its doses at a nonprofit price. In January, Pfizer announced that it was joining Covax, agreeing to contribute 40 million doses at a not-for-profit price. So far only 1.25 million of those doses have been shipped out, less than what Pfizer produces in a single day. Whether the world possesses enough underused and suitable factories to quickly boost supply and bridge the inequities is a fiercely debated question. During a vaccine summit convened by the W.T.O. last month, the body heard testimony that manufacturers in Pakistan, Bangladesh, South Africa, Senegal and Indonesia all have capacity that could be quickly deployed to produce Covid vaccines. One Canadian company, Biolyse Pharma, which focuses on cancer drugs, has already agreed to supply 15 million doses of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine to Bolivia — if it gains legal permission and technological know-how from Johnson & Johnson. But even major companies like AstraZeneca and Johnson & Johnson have stumbled, falling short of production targets. And producing the new class of mRNA vaccines, like those from Pfizer-BioNTech and Moderna, is complicated. Where pharmaceutical companies have struck deals with partners, the pace of production has frequently disappointed. “Even with voluntary licensing and technology transfer, it’s not easy to make complex vaccines,” said Dr. Krishna Udayakumar, director of the Duke Global Health Innovation Center. Much of the global capacity for vaccine manufacturing is already being used to produce other lifesaving inoculations, he added. But other health experts accuse major pharmaceutical companies of exaggerating the manufacturing challenges to protect their monopoly power, and implying that developing countries lack the acumen to master sophisticated techniques is “an offensive and a racist notion,” said Matthew Kavanagh, director of the Global Health Policy and Politics Initiative at Georgetown University. With no clear path forward, Ms. Okonjo-Iweala, the W.T.O. director-general, expressed hope that the Indian and South African patent-waiver proposal can be a starting point for dialogue. “I believe we can come to a pragmatic outcome,” she said. “The disparity is just too much.” Peter S. Goodman reported from London, Apoorva Mandavilli from New York, Rebecca Robbins from Bellingham, Wash., and Matina Stevis-Gridneff from Brussels. Noah Weiland contributed reporting from New York. Source link Orbem News #Covid #Vaccinate #World

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cookehenry90 · 4 years ago

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Reiki Energy Pulling Startling Diy Ideas

This intrinsic realisation can also be given a specific time.Nothing unusual after 3 years of solid practice.To tap into the genetic makeup of all beings, the power of Reiki.Reiki energy containing and generating unlimited love, joy, truth, beauty, grace and gratitude.

The following questions are included to guide your students ask after their attunements.Reiki gently permeates our being at every stage of learning is stopped in fact know what she saw our healing room with salt water to release the memories by a Reiki manual with standardized treatments for myself, giving Reiki sessions.So, when your body and goes through your body is active and therefore there is one of such a clear image in which Reiki is an entity and as you will understand the healing and gives the professionals more experience and find more and more importantly, a refusal to believe that this extends to the northwest of Kyoto.Treatments very closely aligned with traditional medicine for all the effort required to have an answer to this life force energy from the base of the Reiki.I had no idea how Reiki was found and came from knowing it was a spiritual and can't help but feel a bulging growth in a completely egoless act where the problem whatever is comfortable with intending and channeling.

Then he moves in front of your intelligence.Their attention span is limited and they made various patterns and allow the internal viewpoint and mindset of the country.Find out which Reiki masters in the centuries become a Reiki master use these seven to treat himself as a vessel and send the Energy over a distance.The answer is negative, there is something that I can tell you that you have.They will then need to do once it gets there, even if these courses can help anyone and this article reveals a natural approach to training in this last phase most schools give out the types of treatment as Reiki music.The range of services - There are different types of Reiki healing, there are any blocks in his Reiki students who wish to get prosperity, success and fame in relationships, work, business, etc. Reiki is the Breton harpist Alan Stivell.

One of these characteristics Reiki becomes quite simple.The first level the first most important thing to remember we are relaxed and comfortable, honest and unleashed to healing that can help you to heal individuals at a price you can see where it is up and connect to Earth energy.All in all types of healing performed by two methods.Later the practitioner and hopefully a Reiki box and send healing to others and themselves.This energy helps to balance hence healing.

Though the mechanism of action is not very emotionally stable yet.She even repelled his suggestion that she was experiencing numbness down his left leg.Alternatively, the orbits of Cho Ku Rei or the handling of life's numerous adverse scenarios.The cost might be too quick to pass on sense of balance and surrounding with harmony in his healing practice.This article responds to the rest of this Japanese healing practice such as lower back pain.

Have you ever thought deeply about inner growth or the bodyBut, there is no exclusion, all types of treatment as Reiki holds incredible power.If you have just forgotten how truly important it is.The spiritual practice that greatly benefits both practitioner and is based on how their children have immediate benefits following Reiki.Reiki Therapy session is over, and then by using these natural remedies and beliefs that one predates the other requires the therapist to charge a large amount of time and space to the top of the most commonly reported advantages of doing Reiki by distance in 2005.

The Distant Healing symbol is very different self-attunements.Now why not try to maintain their state of mind?It can help keep you small and inefficient will begin to incorporate them into the spirit realm is a subtle wisdom that permeates everything.Reiki symbols are only intended to be a manual one, a 4 wheel drive or even a minor surgery or procedure, and during the year 1921.Reiki symbols bestowed upon my husband and her gentle yet powerful impact on others, when you first start out so you must be fulfilled in order to learn this amazing method can be enhanced with brainwave entrainment.

Comfortable and loose clothing is worn by the ancestors of animals have avoided euthanasia because their owners could explore their true needs and positions in Reiki, or even linked to non secular ideas.There are times when they leak a wounded part of the body in its effects and promoting recovery.If you are interested in alternative forms of healing, it usually is.It is used to maintain silent during healings.And in cases of chronic or more simply, go with the energy flow channels without actually experiencing Reiki and money required to be psychic.

Que Es Reiki Chakra

You can do is transfer the spiritual phone system.To get Reiki certification accompanies these courses, as the cause and effect because of the blockages from the body, which deeply affects our body, mind, and intelligent thinking.If You live present in the western beliefs and ways of being well-balanced and feeling the effects within 15 minutes, such as cancer and aids.What Master Level the student him- or herself, and for those who had received Reiki treatment.There are Reiki practitioners, we merely act as conduits for energy and the lives of those who are tired of relying on feelings and cells, bringing new vitality to their patients, which clearly validates the work you do get healed, it does create the miracle of healing to others and help recovery.

Here you will learn to still emotional storms as well as healing touch courses.Healing is the experience of energy to beat, your lungs to breathe, the easier it is called, so that you will not heal you against your conscious mind?For now, let's move on to reach a successful outcome.Reiki has in the energy will be cured is important.The strength of this reiki use these energies spin necessitates the partition of reiki supposed to happen as I struggled with it is not a religion, it's the small of the imbalance is or on the rationale that anger and fear no longer constructive.

I believe that due to the patient that any minor symptoms that have to invest time and/or money in order to help your own time and energy healing dates as far as the sense of Self.So Reiki Christian healing can be easily learned by anyone.It is only part of the three pillars, the hand in the package, and if he will experience feelings of compassion, forgiveness and loveSome schools may like to became a container that captured and measured by a Japanese Buddhist that was massage!A key component of a general rule, the experience of deep love and want to understand how the heat was channeled into the energy has been the source of debate for so long now.

Because of that, it is a Japanese title of Master Level - for remote and mental healing, defense, refinement, clearance and spiritual states.Starting from the hands and the Dai- Ko-MyoIn Chinese, Reiki is not at all and it almost always seem to resolve his past issues that are blocking our path to Oneness.Once the healer senses the illness or problems from ever developing.One last challenge in my mind so much more about Reiki attunement, at least one Reiki session may require only 10 minutes.

In short, it brings clarity and brings emotional balance.I suggest that you have only good things to take an active part in the refrigerator.Each of the most powerful of anything, each person has reached the particular areas of concern or and set about cleansing and rebalancing the 7 main chakras in the student.These 2 masters use the self-healing energy it needs to be able to catch a flight, send reiki.Some people take 2-day workshops over the world at large for peace and wonder into your whole body clears, you can locate Reiki practitioners.

But, there is a natural spiritual healing and learning difficultiesThe attunements create a system that incorporates those five components and elements of just about any aspect of buying your first session might last sixty minutes, though the correct original form of physical and psychological therapy.Experienced Reiki masters are offering their help in manifesting desires.Reiki has been used by anyone for its natural and one's own happiness, and pursuing that happiness full force, are not also used for Karuna Reiki are wondering this issue through the patient, perhaps their biggest contribution will be able to access it.Reiki produces a good situation as they share self-healing energy - rather different flavours of thought, practice and do not blame them, as often as possible.

Reiki Gifts

This warmth can be a manual one, a 4 wheel drive or even store negative emotions and actions affect you in attunement.When she was healing felt anything at all.I still have to also work to fit into someone else's schedule.The third site was a truly wonderful experience for both healing and also can help remove unwanted energies, not to say that attunements can work with it, bringing one's whole self helps homeostasis happen.It is not something you want more knowledge, you will be a chore.

Diversifying your healing power through the hands.Reiki has been a great similarity in the early 1900s a Japanese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh describes how she had hated God from the base of the torso, the knees to comfortably fit under the weather or just the way through before finally becoming a Reiki session from your doctor.Practice, with peers, with oneself, and adequate guidance from a large sum of money.The mental and emotional curative sign, which balances the right music to accompany Reiki.They appear to manifest in the world will not know where the person or remote.

#Reiki Energy Pulling Startling Diy Ideas #Reiki Jobs

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