#Earth is space Ausralia

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs “Facial Expressions”

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https://starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr.com/post/182501791735/master-post

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jzEIdDAB4omdO2JcQVMObfrhLJ5kX4ONmSsLypM1ks0/edit?usp=sharing.\

“Why are we even here?”

At the front of the room, The Grizzled Tesraki Bridge officer took his seat. One of his ears was partially mangled, and his dark Ochre fur stuck up in strange places only adding to his grizzled appearance.

In the front row, the young Tesraki that had spoken tapped a foot impatiently against the floor.

The room was filled with new recruits to an asteroid mining cooperation in the Quadinspira galaxy. There were More than a dozen bored looking Tesraki, a Rundi or two and even, to everyone’s surprise, Four Vrul, who had only just begun appearing in the private sector after the downfall of their current government in a surprising coup . The front row also boasted a finnari or two and the odd gibb, though no one expected it to last very long.

“Look, the less questions you ask, the sooner I can get through this presentation.” The grizzled tesraki rubbed his mangled ear, “Corporate has made this a mandatory introduction course, and  for once I tend to agree with that decision.”

“Seems more like a waste of time to me.” Someone muttered.

The grizzled tesraki’s head jerked to the side following the muttered comment, “I may have a bad ear, but that doesn’t mean I’m deaf.” The entire class shifted nervously at the tesraki’s strange behavior. The average Tesraki wasn’t nearly so confrontational.

He crossed his arms again, “have any of you ever met a human.”

There was a pause around the room, but no hands were raised.

The Tesraki snorted, “Than that is exactly why you are here because corporate thinks, rightly, that you should have some warning before you go into an environment with humans. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up to get a mangled ear.” The entire class was paying attention now, trying very hard not to stare at the Tesraki’s mangled ear.

“Did…. did a human….”

The tesraki stomped his foot on the ground in amusement before letting off a sound that was oddly similar to a strangled bark. The group glanced around at each other nervously, “You’ll get used to it.” The tesraki muttered before leaning back against the wall, “No, a human didn’t take my ear off, it got messed up in an industrial accident, and in fact, a human is the only reason I am alive right now. Those bastards have incredible reflexes when they want, but my point is that humans CAN and HAVE done these sorts of things to people, and it is my job to make sure you pay attention to the training we are about to give you.” He turned towards his desk and tapped a button on the tabletop dimming the lights and starting up a holoprojection at the front of the room.

The darkness was momentarily broken by a greenish loading screen before a video flipped on.

The image was of a mostly nondescript brownish gray vrul with prismatic orange eyes sitting calmly at a desk facing the camera. The little banner under the video read.

Dr. Krill Chief of Surgery at Arcadia Noxumber Hospital: Human Anatomy Expert.

The little vrul shifted in his seat, “So, you plan on working with humans.” He nodded slowly to himself, “Well before you begin, I have been asked to give a little presentation to ensure the safety of you and all of your nonhuman colleagues.” The video switched to be replaced by an interactive medical diagram of a human in question, “A human is a sentient omnivorous predator species from the quad inspira galaxy hailing from a class A death planet. Due to the hostility of their home environment, it has become clear, that conflicts in a cross species workplace can become dangerous for any nonhuman worker.”

The diagram flashed, “While humans generally tend to be a docile and social species, capable of getting along with anyone they come in contact with, it is important to remember that the human need for survival is more heavily ingrained in them than it is in us, for this reason, humans may respond violently or unpredictably to situations they find threatening or unfamiliar. Their emotions are prone to changing rapidly and sometimes violently, though this is the exception to the rule.”

The diagram vanished, turning itself back to Dr. krill, “I cannot teach you everything there is to know in this short video, but I Can give you a crash course on some knowledge you are going to want to have if you interact with humans, and that is….” The screen flashed again, and the next image that showed up was a close up headshot of a human.

The image was so startling that some of the students jumped a little in their seats, distrubed by the strange expression, the predatory forward facing eyes, and the rubbery lips pulled back from a wide array of glittering white teeth.

“Human body language, most importantly human facial expressions are going to be some of the most important aspects of your nonverbal interaction with humans. Humans have the most mobile face out of almost any species on earth. There are 43 muscles in the human face alone, and are specifically designed for social communication with other humans. Additionally the enlarged whites of the eyes serve to allow other humans to more easily read their eye movements.

This expression you see here is a common facial expression you might see on humans, and one that you should be pleased to see. The human smile is unique among sentient species and unique among their own primate cousins. The smile actually evolved from the “fear expression.” 

Another image flashed on screen, of a very similar expression, lips pulled  back over flashing teeth, but this time the eyes were wider, where in the other image they were somewhat scrunched, causing little wrinkles to radiate from the edges of the eye.

“Historically speaking, the “fear” expression was also used as a sign of submissiveness towards more aggressive members of a human pack. By showing this expression humans might have helped to avoid conflict. Over time this expression evolved somewhat to indicate that the human has friendly intentions, using a “submissive” expression to indicate that they are not intending to be dangerous. Note the differences between the “fear” face and the “smile”. A smile might result in the closing of the eyes, or squinting, which would reduce the functionality of the human’s primary sensory organ, vision, while the fear face opens the eyes wider to allow in more light and increase the usefulness of the primary visual system. I must note here that a human can “Fake” a smile, but if the muscles around the eyes don’t move, it is likely to be a fake smile. Additionally it is important to remember body language in context, a smiling human will open up their body in a submissive way, holding their arms out, exposing their chest, lifting their chin to expose the throat, while an afraid human will curl in on themselves, lift their shoulders, and lower their chin. Additionally, they are likely to lift their hands to protect their face.

Another image appeared on screen, this time it was a similar image, but somehow more unsettling than the first two. The teeth were still showing, but this time they were more obvious, and the eyes, while squinted were turned down so far that the skin around the nose wrinkled, “Smiling or fear should not be confused, with a snarl, which is an aggressive facial expression you are unlikely to see on a human unless they are incredibly angry. You see the teeth are still pulled back, but the lips are pulled thin, the brows are dropped low to protect the eyes, and the muscles around the nose are punched inward. The snarl may be preceded by an angry face.” 

The slide flipped again and this time, the image was of a human with its mouth closed, usually full lips were pulled tight into a thin line and almost inverted. The chin was down and the nostrils were flared. The brows were pulled tight together, and the eyes were wide and staring. The room shifted nervously, “It is best to avoid a human if you see this face, lips pulled thin, with such an intense stare. Humans don’t generally tend to hold eye contact for long periods of time. If a human is staring at you with this much intensity, it is often going to be a bad sign, and it is best to move.”

The screen flipped again, to show a row of a few more expressions, “It is best to differentiate human expressions that are happy and angry for your own safety, but here are a few quick examples of other expressions. Disgust” 

The screen flashed.

A human with lips pulled back, though the expression was uneven, the head was slightly turned away, and the nose was wrinkled.

“Contempt.”

Eye contact, one side of the mouth pulled up, lips slightly pressed together.

“A human that shows contempt towards you is not necessarily going to be violent, but  it might be best to move departments if you can.”

“Sadness” 

Corners of the mouth turned down, eyebrows turned up in the middle instead of down.

“Other than facial expressions, there are a few human vocalizations that may be beneficial for you to hear.”

The room was filled with a sound it was almost impossible to describe, it was like a screech but done in short sharp bursts. Multiple sound clips were played and all the sounds were different, but contained a similar repetitive pattern. It was a strange and unnerving noise to stay the least, “Believe it or not, this is one of the best sounds to hear coming from a human. It's called laughter, and usually means they find something entertaining. If you make a human laugh it's generally considered a god thing, though it can often be used in certain situations to break tension.” 

“Those of you with sensitive ears may want to cover them for this next sound, because if you hear it you will likely want to run. This is a human’s warning/distress call and may indicate danger.”

The Tesraki clamped their hands over their ears just in time for the room to be filled with a soul rattling screech that made everyone in the room flinch, and the desks to vibrate. Multiple clips were played, over and over again, terrified screeching like tortured animals, sometimes translation equipement even picked up words.”

“HELP! HELP! HELP ME!” The words devolved into incoherent screaming that left the entire room shaken when it faded,

 “Generally indicates fear, or pain, and can be a warning for other social species to leave, or even call for aid. Oddly enough a human will not require a class to learn our facial expressions, as they are incredibly socially intuitive on most occasions. Again I must remind you that humans are not inherently violent, and that aggression only happens rarely, statistically speaking, But I am still eager to caution you.”

The video flashed back to the doctor who was leaning against his desk now, “At all costs it is your mission to make friends with the humans, iIt is extremely beneficial to both parties, and speaking as someone who has many human friends, I am likely in one of the safest locations in the galaxy, so be safe, remember these tips I have given you, and good luck.”

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird: The Dos and Don’ts of Humans

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https://starr-fall-knight-rise.tumblr.com/post/182501791735/master-post

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jzEIdDAB4omdO2JcQVMObfrhLJ5kX4ONmSsLypM1ks0/edit?usp=sharing.\

The Dos and Don’ts of Living With a Human

A Guide

Written By Kanan Lanusson 

Distributed by: The Silver Sky Network

Partnered with: Caelum 

The dos and don’ts of humans. Safety and friendship with a friendly predator species.

Do Not.

Do not:  Be mean to a human. This should go without saying, but there are some ut there who consider treating others poorly to be a matter of business acumen, and a way to move projects forward. However, this sort of behavior may not work with humans. While it is true that humans are vastly different from person to person, the average human does have their breaking point and are known to be vindictive. Humans are intelligent and quick thinking, and have a knack for legal sabotage.

Do not: sleep deprive your human. Now a human might also be willing to do such things to themselves, so encouraging human sleep may be ideal. But humans require sleep to function properly. A sleepless human may be clumsy, irritable, and with less sleep comes a significant drop in IQ and processing ability. A sleepy human may be dangerous in a work environment and can pose a safety hazard. A human is as much a liability sleepless as they are a boon when well rested.

Do not: Isolate a human. Humans are pack animals, and are used to at least some measure of contact during their day. While humans do not like being crowded, or have their space infringed upon, most humans enjoy living within close proximity to each other where they may have daily interactions, small conversations, play games, or even have meals together. Depending on the human, the amount of socialization required may vary. Some humans  may require constant companionship from others outside their zone of influence, while other humans may accept a phone call on occasion. There are plenty of humans that also prefer to be left alone for the vast majority of the time, and receive what amounts to social interaction through television, or books. We encourage you to ask a human if you are unsure

Do Not: make a human angry. Now this isn’t to create a panic and tell you that a human will attack you when angered. Humans are just ike the rest of us and responses may vary. Now there is a small majority of humans that may attack if provoked, but you are unlikely to meet a human with such aggressive, unjustified, tendencies who has been allowed off earth. Even if a human is to make a physical move towards you, it is unlikely to be immediately fatal. An open hand slap or a closed fist punch are the most common, and will hurt, but for humans, is less likely to be fatal and more a sign of frustration, or situational dominance. However, an angry human may also cease communication, intentionally reduce the speed or productivity of their work. Additionally they are more likely to become socially aggressive. As a social species, the use of their social nature as a tool, or even a weapon is not uncommon. They may seek to ridicule, disagree with, or pass hurtful comments to you in return. Again, though, this varies from human to human, and while some humans may grow aggressive, others might isolate, and you can potentially make  a human cry.

Do not: yell at a human. This goes hand in hand with the instruction above, but it is worth mentioning that most humans do not respond well to raised voices. Historically raised voices for humans indicates, anger, aggression, fear or otherwise. Yelling at a human will cause anxiety, fear, or anger. Due to their social nature, yelling in an angry/or aggressive way can cause embarrassment, hurt or even panic in humans. Some humans may respond aggressively, but it is not uncommon for a human to cry in response to a raised voice. You are less likely to see this off of earth, but it is still possible.

Do Not: Make a human cry. While we are on the subject, don’t make a human cry, much for the same reasons as not making a human angry. Hurting a human emotionally may result in a lack of cooperation from the indicated human. They are very unlikely to like you if you directly cause this behavior. Now it should be noted that a human may cry for reasons other than fear, anger or sadness, but it is clear that you must avoid the negative reasons. In certain circumstances it is a good idea to avoid this all together as a crying human may become a walking biohazard.

Do Not: Keep a human in the dark. Humans require starlight to form specific vitamin compounds important to their health. To keep a human in the dark may result in severe unforeseen medical conditions. If aboard a ship, the use of certain lighting may replace starlight for this function.

Do Not: Chew loudly. This may seem odd, but the number of human that indicate a distaste for excessive mouth noises is unprecedented. If you chew too loudly, you run the risk of a human permanently disliking you for no other reason. It may seem small, but it is certainly something large to avoid. 

Do

Do: Talk to and interact with your human. Again this will depend on the human, and you may have to work on reading human social cues, but in general, talking with and interacting with your human is important. Engaging them in conversation is a good start, asking questions, and speaking about things outside and unrelated to the work environment. Evite your human to sit with you while you eat a meal. Mealtime for humans may be considered a social event, and many humans form small packs and sit together while eating. Additionally, you may invite your human to participate in other activities you may enjoy. Humans are often fond of games, discussions, and other outside experiences. Generally speaking interact with your human unless they otherwise indicate a preference against the interaction.

Do: Provide your human with a variety of food. This may seem minor, but the lack of choices may bore a human and reduce their desire to eat. Additionally they may participate in actively looking for new food which may be dangerous. If you plan on living on a ship for an extended period of time, this may not be so important, as the human is likely prepared for this scenario. Otherwise, the use of new foods may be a good enrichment for a human.

Do: provide activities of interest to a human. Humans who get bored may become destructive or even depressed. Providing entertainment such as games, books, internet, or crafting supplies may be important for the health of a human. Humans enjoy making things, finishing tasks and feeling accomplished even if those tasks are self assigned. Encourage the practice of hobbies. Who knows, maybe you might get something out of the deal.

Do: Keep your human in the loop. Humans like being involved, and they like knowing what is going on. The smallest change in a human’s environment may be a cause for concern.

Do: Create a safe space for a human to sleep/relax in. Most humans, while social creatures, can also be territorial about their own space. Even if this is simply a bunk or a single room where a human might relax, be sure to make the environment safe and comfortable where they do not have to worry about anything or anyone dangerous. Giving a human a safe place to relax and unwind is important for metal stability.

Do: Consider hosting at least one other human. Humans are social, and do not necessarily require their own kind, but it is something to consider for their happiness. However, do this at your discretion because pairing humans may also result in messy romantic entanglements…. Then again this does not necessarily require another human in some cases, so be advised.

Do: Listen to a human’s advice. Not all humans are knowledgeable or even all that smart, but much of the time, humans are generally helpful, and wish to impart knowledge. Many humans are experts in a chosen field, and may have extensive experience with the situation at hand. Either way human’s like to be listened to and acknowledged, so take their advice at your discretion, but at least consider hearing them out.

Do: Provide a space where humans may clean themselves. Humans run on a range of cleanliness, but it is likely that most humans you meet will appear personally clean. However, this takes some effort, unlike the Vrul or Gibb. Humans naturally produce a multitude of waste products. Other than the obvious culprits, this includes skin and hair oils, sweat, dead skin cells, mucus, and blood in certain cases. Humans are also known to have extensive bacterial biomes on their skin and in their digestive tract from start to finish. It is imperative you give a human a place where they can clean or wash themselves, or they may become and unpleasant walking biohazard, which will include offensive smells, and oily interactions. Additionally, this is a matter of health for a human as, out of control hygiene may result in skin infections, sickness, and in severe cases, death.

Do: Provide supplemented foods for a balanced diet specifically in vitamin C. The lack of food groups may cause deteriorated health in humans. One of these being vitamin C which may result in a condition known as Scurvy, common in early long distance voyages. Scurvy may result in bleeding gums, and the inability to maintain scar tissue which will result in bleeding and other symptoms

Do: ask questions. May species across the galaxy get their information on humans third hand through a pamphlet like this. So please be encouraged to talk to your human, ask them questions, and learn more as this list is by no means exhaustive.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Unlikely Friends.”

Wrote this this morning and thought of my friend Nora :)

I hope you all like it. 

The GA Biological Exploration team had not expected to have humans along for their expedition, but then again, they had hardly expected to have large carnivorous worms attack them the last time, so they supposed that extra protection was worth it. But the humans were really just there for protection, so the team mostly ignored them meandering around in a wide circle with their weapons ready.

Everyone knew that humans weren’t exactly the smartest species in the galaxy, somewhere above Drev and below Tesraki, so they were really only good for protection most of the time, or at least that is how many of the team saw it, none of them having ever really worked with a human closely before. The foliage on this planet happened to be a strange sort of blue violet color, and the sky above also tended more towards purple than it did towards blue.

There were plenty of large and unusual looking flowers, mostly red in color, though, when seen under UV light they glowed in many colors unseen by those who could only view on the visible spectrum.

The head scientist was just beginning to sample one of the flowers, when he noticed one of the humans out of the corner of his eye crouching next to one of the plants. His hand was completely uncovered, it turned out that humans were perfectly fine in the atmosphere, and it looked like he was preparing to touch the plant.

“What do you think you are doing!” He screeched, and the human drew back slightly. The head scientists wasn’t used to humans and so did not really understand the expression on it’s too- mobile face. This particular specimen of a human covered one of its eyes, and looked slightly familiar though he could not have placed it. All humans looked the same to him.

“I uh…. Well nothing.”

“You were going to touch that, weren't you!”

“Well I…”

“Because you better not try that again. We just landed on this planet and we have no idea what kind of affects the flora and fauna can cause.” He turned away before quickly spinning back in place glowering at the human, “Actually, on second thought, a warning isn’t enough for you, you have already proven that you cannot be trusted.” He pointed towards a little clearing not far off, “Go sit down and keep your hands to yourself until we are done here.”

The human went to protest, but he did not allow for that.

He had no time for people who could not follow proper safety protocols. The human looked about ready to argue with him, but one stern look sent the human slouching off.

He nodded rather pleased with himself. That is how you dealt with humans properly, a firm hand was what they needed. They were kind of slow so you had to repeat yourself a few times, but they responded well to a frm no nonsense hand.

***

Admiral Vir sat in time out.

His hands were neatly resting in his lap as he sat criss cross on an alien planet staring up at the sky. A few times the other marines would pass by and grin at him and he would smile sheepishly back. He had been put in time out for touching the local wildlife. Believe it or not, his mother used to hate taking him shopping as a kid because he just had to touch everything. He was also the reason that his father had forbade them from putting their hands, tongues, or feet, don’t ask, against the window.

There had even been a rule in museums that he had to be holding his dad or his mother’s hand while they walked around to avoid him embarrassing them by touching something that he wasn’t supposed to. He had always loved those interactive museums for kids. 

Apparently this habit had not exactly gone away into his adult life.

And now here he was Admiral Adam Vir, Armada commander of the GA and UNSC combined forces….. And he had been put in time out so he wouldn't touch anything. He took it with good humor though. By all rights he should have learned his lesson by now…. Considering the incident….

He shook himself and leaned back in the alien flora, resting his head back on a big flat mushroom that was pleasantly spongy and acted as a great pillow so that he could stare up at the sky. At some point he accidentally took a bit of a nap, and when he woke up next the voices had faded as the scientists wandered off into the forest, and he was left alone with only the shuttle sitting and twinkling with metallic light.

He frowned, someone could have told him they were moving on, but that was ok.

He sat up legs still crossed and rested his chin against his hand in boredom.

He picked at the dirt below him, and then prodded one of the strange mushrooms. 

Adam was bored.

He stood glancing around and walked to the edge of the clearing where one of those red flowers was sitting and, looking over his shoulder again reached down to touch it making a face in the direction that scientist had gone off.

It's not like he was hurting anything.

The flower petals were soft, and felt almost like velvet below his fingertips. 

He sniffed a it to find that it smelled oddly like…. Bleach? Though he could completely have been wrong about that.

Walking over, to the nearest tree-like structure, which was very tall and thin with an umbrella like apparatus overhead, he found the bark of the tree to have a bunch of small berry like structures on it in a light blue color. He reached out and picked one. It came off with a sort of soft popping noise, and he rolled it around between his fingers leaving behind a purplish residue.

He squeezed it, and berry juice came out.

It smelled sweet, though even he wasn’t stupid enough to taste it.

He dropped what remained of the berry t the ground and was just rummaging through the foliage when…. A sound, the snap of one of those mushrooms, pulled him from his reverie. Like a deer in the headlights he jerked quickly upright and looked around his heart already beginning to hammer.

He turned his head, looking into the bushes where he had heard the sound, and as he did, he thought he caught a strange flicking sort of movement. It was low to the ground, and as it moved it seemed to… slither through the underbrush.

Adam lowered himself slowly to the ground reaching behind him and drawing his handgun.

There was a strange noise, like more of those berries popping off the tree, and then the slithering moved on.

He couldn’t help but be interested, and followed the sound to where it had been last, finding that all of the berries had been stripped from the trunk of the tree.

“Huh, you like berries do you.” He said to himself wandering over to the next tree and scraping off a handful into his palm. He could still hear the creature moving ahead of him through the brush, and he followed after it, tracking it’s movement with his ears more than his eyes. He would have used his thermal vision, but decided against it. It was much more fun this way. Of course a part of him knew that this was a horrible idea, but Adam had never really been known to listen to his own common sense, especially when it came to meeting new aliens.

A segment of dirt showed below him, and he bent down to examine the track.

It wasn’t a footprint, but a long drag mrk through the soil.

How interesting.

He heard more of that popping noise up ahead and followed after it.

When he got closer there was a sharp sound as if something was drawing back on itself.

The creature had noticed him.

He crouched down in the bushes eyes forward to where he knew the alien was.

He dropped some of the berries onto the ground leaving a trail back to his hand where he waited.

Of course he expected to see some sort of creature.

What he did not expect was a massive purple viper with a head as big around as a football if not bigger peeping through the bushes

He froze in place blood running cold.

It had one large eye in the middle of its face and weird protrusions along the side of it’s head which looked to act like whiskers as they trembled in the breeze.

It rose up slowly from the ground lifting its head into the air and then opening its mouth. Its face was segmented into three, so when its mouth opened its face became twice as large, opening sort of like the hood of a cobra. It didn’t have a tongue but many small undulating follicles across its mouth stained with purple juice.

Its mouth closed and its head lowered as it looked down at the berries he had let out.

He stayed stock still as the creatures slithered closer lowering its head and lapping the berries off the ground.

Its body was smooth, not completely like that of a snake but similar, ad strange protrusions stuck up from it’s back rising and falling as it slithered forward.

It followed his little trail of berries until finally it was not inches away from his hand.

I lifted his head again, and from where he crouched, he started the creature right in the face. One eye to one eye.

It made a sort of rattling noise ad opened its mouth again.

He imagined it striking at his face latching onto him and sucking his life out through his eyes.

But instead the creature closed its mouth again, and the tendrils moved forward at the side outfits head, almost like it was sniffing at him.

It lowered it’s head 

And opened its mouth and he felt the hot humidity of it’s mouths. The creature sucked the berries frm his hand. Each of the little saccules felt like suction cups against his hand. It curled into a large coil against the ground and lifted its head again to look at him almost expectantly. He raised his hand slowly and it shied away.

He made no sound as he reached out and pulled some more of the berries from a nearby tree before slowly proffering them to the creature who sucked them up from his han.

He did that a few more times until, reaching out, he let the creature eat from his hand before gently stroking it along its underbelly. He had a feeling those protrusions on its back were sensory, and he didn’t want to overload it. The creature pulled back in surprise at his touch, but not entirely,and as he continued to stroke down itt’s neck, it seemed…. To enjoy it, pressing into his hand and making that strange noise again.

He smiled giddy and scared at the same time.

This was so cool!

He coaxed the creature with him as he went around pulling berries from trees and feeding it from his cupped hands.

The sake thing slithered at his side, and on one occasion even began to slither up his body.

He let it and it used him as a staging ground to lift it’s head into the trees and suck the larger berries from higher up in the tree. He rewarded the snake thing with more belly rubs with his hands now stained purple.

Eventually voices floated to him through the forest.

The snake thing rested its chin on his head sunning itself on top of him like he was a tree.

He walked back towards the shuttle pleased to show the others his new friend.

*** The head scientist was pleased with the samples he had taken. He had started with the ground plants and was likely to work his way up. He had been careful not to touch anything, and hadn’t seen any native wildlife so far. It would take some time for them to get to know the planet like they really wanted to, but that's how these things worked, science was slow an they had to be careful-”What in the FUCK is that!”

The human’s cry of alarm jolted him from his thoughts and he looked up in stunned shock to see the human from earlier, walk forward cradling a large alien creature in his arms.

“SHHH, the human hissed, Don’t scare Jeffry.”

“Who the Fuck is jeffrey.”

The alien creature lifted it’s head and opened its trihinjed mout.

He rubbed it’s chin, “it’s okay Jeffrey, they are being very rude.”

The aliens stood on in shock, as the human patted the alien creature like… like well like nothing they had ever seen. He was just sitting there, cuddling an unknown alien.

“W-what did I say about TOUCHING things he hissed with a squeak.”

The human lifted it’s shoulders, “Well…. About that. I sort of, got bored, and then I saw Jeffrey and I thought why not try to make friends.”

“You tried to make friends with a giant alien snake?”

“Well I would rather not have made enemies with him.’ He rubbed “Jeffry’s chin and the snake thing rattled.

The other humans gathered around in shock and awe.

“What are you doing!” He hissed, “That thing could be dangerous.”

The humans ignored him.

“Yeah just get some of those berries, and I bet he’d eat right out of your hand, and then maybe you can pet him.”

The humans wandered off to find berries coming back with their hands piled and their skin stained purple.

“Don’t Touch it!” he squalled, but the humans were hearing none of it. The snake thing leaned down and slurped berries from cupped hands before stretching its neck upwards to enjoy pats from the other humans.

The aliens stood there in shock as the humans gathered around.

He had ordered the human not to touch anything, but instead he had gone off into the forest and pack bonded with some unknown alien creature.

He would have to write to his superiors about this.

He would not be working with humans in the future.

Annoyingly, humans had to make friends with everyone. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “An Analysis of Humans.”

Guess my brain wanted to write a partial scholarly paper today, so I guess this is what we got. Added in text sources to make it seem more legit. Lol

An Aggregated Summary of Human and Alien Comparisons

By Dr. Krill, Dr. Katie Quinn, and Dr. Adric Dracondi 

It has long been known, since humans were first introduced onto the galactic stage, that humans are, arguably, the most powerful sentient alien species in the known universe.  These are not simply popular conjectures by nonscientific minds, but the scientific community itself has conducted multiple studies regarding the adaptability and prowess of the human in comparison to other species. Many of these studies have examined, intelligence, hunting prowess, strength, and adaptability as their primary focus, (Diss, A., Wallin, G., and Millard; Wix and Veen). Based on these prior studies, this paper will attempt to summarize the overall strength of a human based on their homeworld evolution, comparison to other species, and their technological interplay.

Humans have existed on their home planet of earth for roughly 200,000 years. In comparison to other alien species, they are rather young, and still within the historical memory of the Rundi, who have existed through two major technology jumps, leaving much of their older historical records lost to time (Keple, J., et, all). Humanity began its life in the Miocene Epoch climbing through trees in the African savanna using both their feet and hands as tools for climbing. During this time they developed the ability to stand upright in order to use their hands for foraging. This gave them an increased ability to forage, and allowed them to share their food between pack members creating, what we now understand to be, the human’s social bonds (Keller, A., Winzer, C, V., and Pellar, Q). Of course, this wasn’t the only reason for human’s increased social bonds. Sometime during this period, the African Savanna went through a period of natural deforestation, reducing the number of trees humans could climb. For this reason, they were forced to turn to the ground where larger predators lurked (Huntsman, J,. Et. Al). At this point in time humans did not have many advantages against large predators, and even as of now, an unarmed human against most mid sized predators is going to lose. Compared to their own planetary predators, humans are not very fast, not very strong and not particularly dangerous when viewed alone. However, one of the human’s greatest advantages was originally their pack sizes encouraging cooperation among members to both protect each other and watch for predators. Predators would be much less likely to hunt a human in a large pack, sut as they are less likely to hunt other animals if they are in large groups preferring to attack those who are alone, weak or sick (Keller, A., Winzer, C, V., and Pellar, Q). 

Why then, were humans able to survive at all as they have some serious strategic disadvantages. Humans are slow, have no trees to climb, poor smell , arguably por hearing, and dismal strength in comparison to savannah predators. Furthermore, the transition into humans walking upright caused the narrowing of the pelvic bone, which would become an issue as humans continued to evolve. The answer to this question comes with later iterations of the evolved humans. After thor descent from the trees, humans gained a few important abilities: first of all they lost all of their fur giving them the ability to sweat, their legs were lengthened and their arms were shortened giving them a superior sense of balance for throwing, and their cranial size increased giving them the ability to use and create tools for cracking bone which would aid them in foraging: the increased brain size would later give them the unique ability to speak. These two distinctions being important precursors for sentient life (Wheeler., R, Winter, F., And Nix., L). 

The human ability to sweat, coupled with their upright walk gave humans the natural ability to run while carrying tools, such as spears and weapons. Early humans evolved for running long distances. The arches of their feet act as springs which depress and spring back as they run. Tendons in the back of the ankle do the same, while powerful muscles in their lower backs and butts keep them standing upright and provide power. Humans keep their balance using muscles in their shoulders, and the swinging of their arms gives extra momentum and balance. The head is held in place by special tendons on the sides of their necks, while their eyes and brains correct for the bouncing of their gait. Furthermore, while other animals require panting and shade to cool off, human sweat rolls into the skin and then evaporates, cooling them off as they move. In this way , humans are superior at long distance running and often used pursuit predation to run their prey to death before spearing them with tools they made (Dillinger, F., and Walker, P). While many animals on their planet are capable of throwing, humanity’s long legs and short arms gives them the superior balance required to throw hard without losing their balance giving them the advantage of long distance weapons. Coupled with tool making,, humans did not have to directly interact with much of the prey they were hunting.

During this time humans grew more socialized and pack oriented  As their brains got bigger, childbirth became more dangerous, and their offspring were forced to be born earlier and more underdeveloped than ever before. Packs grew in size as did family groups. Their ability to speak was probably one of their greatest accomplishments, though ironically, the drop of their larynx into their neck, which supported the transition to speaking, also made them more prone to choking (Huntsman, J,. Et. Al). As the climate on earth gradually began to change, humans moved north using their tools and abilities to survive in colder and colder climates. Different iterations of humanity formed, the Neanderthals VS the Sapiens for a time before the Neanderthals eventually merged with the Sapiens or died out. Humans gained the ability to bond with other animals -- a trick which only the Rundi have separately managed. In turn this sparked the rapid evolution of technology which eventually led them to space travel.

Humans may appear impressive to most outside alien species, but on their planet, domination came about only because of luck, and adaptability. Their evolution to walking on two feet was the catalyst for them being smart enough to out maneuver heavier and more dangerous species.

Now as we examine sentient species today, we can examine a few commonalities between the groups. The first being the ability to speak. No sentient species has evolved without some sort of communicatory language. The starborn can speak telepathically, and most other species vocally.  The lumens and the Mikes also communicate based on light frequencies, though these are still translatable into structural sentences if one knows what they are doing. Even the Adaptids have a very base and rudimentary speech which requires the use of smell (Krill, 4020).  Another common trait is hands or other limbs used for the manipulation of objects. While some aliens also developed the ability to stand upright on two legs: Drev, Tvek, Finnari, Gnark,lak, some retain that ability only partially: Rundi, Kree, while the vast majority require at least three or more limbs to stay upright using tails to balance or adding extra legs for stability: Tesraki, Vrul, Iotins Burg etc..Regardless of walking upright all of these creatures have the ability to manipulate objects to use tools.

The question now remains. Where do humans and other aliens stack up? The answer seems clear in that humans are not powerful because of their dominance in one specific area, but because humans are generalists where others are specialists. There is a human saying that goes along well with this research. Jack of all trades, the master of none, but better than the master of one. A general knowledge of everything seems to be the precursor for being the best survivalists. Let us examine intelligence first, as we know Rundi, Tesraki, burg and Drev are comparable to humans, which are all well behind Vrul and Gibb in average intelligence, though intelligence is one of the more difficult factors as intelligence is an important prerequisite to space travel (Kisk., Gana., Fuller., and Millward).  Humans are not the fastest, that goes to the Rundi, though they are the second fastest, and can arguably outdistance a Rundi in a footrace. Human hearing isn’t as good as a Tesraki, but better than most others just as their eyesight isn’t nearly as good as a Drev, but still much more powerful than others. Drev also take the main spot as being one of the strongest with humans closely behind. Smell is a relatively rare ability among nonhuman species, though the Drev have it to some degree. The Adaptids are known for their superior smelling ability, though it is arguable if they count as sentient just yet. Starborn can survive in space, which is an ability that no other nonhuman species has, accept for humans who can survive for about 15 seconds in the vacuum of space with damage: the only known case of this being of course Admiral Vir, who is as of now, the only human to have attempted this maneuver at all.

The argument we make here is not based primarily on human abilities, which seem second to all, but based primarily about how these interacted with their technological advances. Humans are the youngest species EVER to reach space, and that includes the Drev. In fact most humans still possess instincts which are often lacking in older sentient species, replaced by thought and logic. A human is still said to be able to sense danger before it comes, and can read body language better than any other sentient species currently known, which has much to do with the juvenile nature of their species. Furthermore, human durability is one of the greatest factors. 

The average human can stand about 5gs of force without passing out while trained humans can reach up to sustained 12gs. Most alien species on the other hand had to find ways to keep their craft below 4gs at all times in order to avoid passing out. Nonhumans spent much longer developing their technology before reaching space, while humans were busy strapping rockets to tin cans. A similar situation can be noted with the Drev, who can sustain 7 to 8gs if trained. Both of their species were allowed to leave their planet before fully developing out of their more primitive natures, as was common with other nonhuman or Drev species. In general, human and Drev durability have allowed them to operate machinery which would be too dangerous for other species, giving them a time advantage in the race to the stars.

At this point one might wonder if Drev are comparable to humans, after all Drev are stronger, more durable and just as intelligent as humans. This is true of course, but humans do have some strategic advantages, long distance running ability, pack bonding, and superior technology development, which might have been negated if it weren’t for the Drev religion which calls into question the nature of technology as dishonorable. Furthermore, though they can distinguish less colors than Drev, human sense of smell and hearing is stronger, giving them a distinct battlefield advantage in at least once sense as they are able to pinpoint the direction and height of sounds where Drev have trouble.

A discussion about the abilities of humans can go on all day, though the conclusion scientists have agreed upon focuses primarily on human adaptability and generalization skills as the primary function of their abilities, and seeming power over other species. It seems good then that human pack bonding instincts easly travels across species making them relatively easy to make alliances with compared to some other, more stubborn species. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Group Project.”

Alright everyone, still working on the lecture series, but I also wanted to get some ideas.

What parts of my worldbuilding do you want me to continue with?

What do you want to know more about?”

What story lines do you think I have left unfinished?

And are there any parts of the timeline you want to hear more about? (I was thinking about doing a story on how Adam was even given a ship in the first place) things like that.

I would find your feedback very helpful if you could :) at the very least it will help me get through my writing slump.

Almost six months.

Six months od doctor Krill’s lecture series and they still felt as if they didn’t understand humans anymore than they had when they first started. Despite months and months of research, and papers, none of them had managed to get a grade on an assignment that was higher than a C -- Dr. krill was using what he called the human letter grading system to give them some more experiences that would help them bond with humans, and boy were they bonding with the humans who just couldn’t seem to get it right.

It wasn’t that Dr. krill was an unfair teacher, it was just that most of them always managed to be wrong in some massive and obvious way about humans. For example, when writing a paper about how humans cannot see in the dark and would be likely not to survive on a dark planet, but then potentially forgetting about all the humans who survived being completely blind Everything you could say about humans was generally untrue for another human.

Humans have an extreme sense of survival however they seem prone on tossing  themselves from high places just for the fun of it. 

Humans were both the most survival oriented and the most danger prone species in the entire universe, and that let to some very strange stories that often seemed as if they couldn’t possibly be true, but often turned out to be true anyway.

Either way, the class had been both difficult and exciting, and now they were approaching the end of the semester, and Dr. Krill had promised them something very special to go along with their group project.

They all waited nervously in their predetermined groups watching as Dr. Krill stepped into the room.

He said something to his TA and then turned to his projector to fiddle around for a moment. 

When the lights blinked overhead this time. 

Dr. krill trend to look at the class, “Understanding that we are approaching our last few weeks of class, I have decided to do something a bit special for all of you. To prepare you for the real world of working with humans. I understand that all of you have been working hard despite your abysmal grades, and have decided to do something that human schools do when just such a thing occurs….. Grading on a curve. I certainly didn’t expect any of you to understand humans any better after all of this was over, so this week, I am going to give your real opportunities for some real learning.”

He looked around the room rather smug, “First of all, I want to introduce you to a REAL life earth predator.”

Somehow, in some way, Krill made a sharp whistling noise, and out of the darkness of one of the entrances, their came the soft thudding of footsteps…. Four of them to be precise.

When the furry animal raced into the room the entire class went into a state of panic. Aliens leaped up on their desks and screamed. Vrul inflated and began floating towards the ceiling, all was chaos as the large fuzzy creature raced around the perimeter of the room and then straight towards Dr. krill himself.

More screaming.

“Waffles Sit!” The animal skidded to a stop, and then sat with a soft thump on the floor.

The classroom grew very still as Dr. Krill began to pat the predator’s head.

A pink tongue lolled from it’s mouth past massive white K-9 teeth. Its huge ears swiveled back and forth.

The class slowly began to relax back in their seats as Krill continued to pat the dog, rubbing the fur under its chin so that it raised its head and grumbled deep in it’s throat. Its tail slapped repeatedly against the ground.

“Everyone, I would like to introduce you to one of the staples of a human pack….. A dog.” He continued to pat the animal, as she slid to the ground beside him tail still thumping loudly against the ground, “Waffles was trained by humans for humans, and has the ability to both detect and prevent psychological crisis. As you all know humans are rather prone to mental dysfunction, but this dog is one of the first line defences put in place for a specific human.”

The dog leaned up, and with her long pink tongue, she liked the doctor on the arm.

The class cringed back.

“If you ever want to work with humans, it is likely you will have to work with dogs as well. Any dog that is going to be aboard a human ship will have been vetted for work with other alien races. They will be friendly, and they will calm. Waffles has been around humans her entire life, and around aliens for over two years which is a little less than half of her life.”

He turned to look at the room, “I will give a hundred points of Extra credit to anyone who is brave enough to come down here and pet her.”

There was silence in the room.

No one moved an inch.

Off in the corner a Tesraki shifted nervously in his seat.

He had the lowest grade in the class and he knew it, but a hundred point os extra credit would bring him solidly up a letter grade or two…. but …. It’s teeth were so big, and it probably weighed as much as he did.

It was the look that Dr. Krill gave him that finally urged him onward. Dr. Krill knew, and was, surprisingly, trying to help him.

Knees shaking and hands about to tremble off the end of his wrists, the Tesraki stood, and made his slow way across the room. His ears were plastered flat against his head and his hands only shook worse. The dog grew larger and larger in his vision until she was sitting right before him. Even sitting down she was only a foot and a half shorter than he was, and the panic he was feeling was unbelievable.

He looked into her eyes, and she shifted forward on her paws, snout pushing towards him. He backed away and the entire class gasped. She rocked back on her feet and gently lowered herself to the ground, looking up at him with wide brown eyes.

When he didn’t move she slowly rolled until she had flipped over on her back, looking up at him with her head tilted

A tooth poked out from under her lip, and her tail beat against the ground.

“Look at that!” krill exclaimed, “That’s a submissive pose she would use on a human, she wants you to rub her chest and belly, go on, she’s giving your permission.”

Heart hammering in his ears, he leaned down, and with trembling fingers patted the coarse fur on her belly. She made a grumbling noise and he leaped back, but Dr. Krill encouraged him on saying that it was a good thing, and so he continued. The animal kicked her leg a couple of times and the Tesraki felt his entire body tingle with exhilaration.

He was…. He was petting a dangerous earth animal, just like the humans would!

Eventually he was dismissed back to his seat, and the dog rolled over onto her stomach, resting her head on her paws, which she began to lick absently, large ears still perked.

Dr Krill turned to look at them, “But of course this class it primarily about humans, is it not, and I strongly believe that there is really only one way to teach someone how to interact with humans properly….” he looked around at all of them, “And that, is by experience.”

The class shifted in their seats with exclamations of surprise, and from down one of the hallways they heard a sharp repeated thudding. The beat was so regular and rhythmic it managed to make many of the Vrul students dizzy and confused, nearly lolling out of their seats.

Dr Krill stood firm two hands on hips, two hands crossed over his chest.

And that is when the column of humans marched into the room in perfect time with each other, their botos hitting the floor such that the seats about them seemed to rattle. The vrul could barely keep in their seats and the other students leaned forward in awe.

Most of the humans wore strange clothing in a black and greyblue pattern all over their bodies, while the human at the front wore light grey and a strange adornment atop his head. The front of his chest glittered with small colorful ribbons and little glittering symbols though no one could have been sure what they meant.

The line of humans drew to the front of the room and then stopped.

“LEFT FACE!”

The group turned in unison with the sharp rattling of boots on the floor.”

“ATTENTION!” Their bodies snapped into position, hands raised to their temples as they looked forward perfectly still.” “AT EASE.”

The group of humans, together, fell back into a posture of relative relaxation. Feet spread, hands clasped gently behind their backs, and there they stood as Doctor Krill moved to stand next to them, “Well class, it is my pleasure to introduce you to the Omen’s Alpha team. These marines have trained for years in ground combat for most of their careers. IF there is ever a problem on your planet, this is likely who the humans will send as reinforcements.”

He turned to the last human, the one with the shiny uniform, “And it is my pleasure to introduce our ship’s admiral, who graciously agreed to come and bring his men today. I think you will recognize him from your textbooks.”

When the human removed his hat and turned to face them, there was a shocked muttering. They knew him from their textbooks, as HE was the very template for the classic anatomical diagram that adorned many of the pages in their textbooks.

It was essentially his system that they were examining whenever they discussed the systems of the human body.

“A couple of things I would like you all to note here, and those are the highly social structure in which humans operate. This structure includes a strict hierarchy that humans take pains to make known. The Single Star on the Admiral’s shoulder marks him as the highest ranking human in this room. He outranks me, these other humans and all of you as civilians. In the human world, he is to be listened to, and his orders to be obeyed. In certain cases humans will overlook the intelligence of what someone is saying, if they are of a higher rank in worry of social repercussion.”

He turned to walk towards the marines still standing in their straight line, “They rank in order from this symbol down to this symbol and each of them has an important task to preform. In the early days of our meeting humans, this strict social hierarchy was enough to make some assume that humans were in possession of some sort of hive mind. However, this is clearly not the case. Humans do not have a hive mind, but they do possess a social structure so rigid in some cases that it may seem like it. I would also like to note the diversity in human appearance. The only other species that we have seen with even remotely comparable diversity in facial, tonal, and physical structure are either the Drev, or the Tesraki.”

He turned to look at the groups and his antenna buzzed with amusement, “Now, in your groups, I want you all to pick one of the marines to come join you, and then for the rest of the class, I would like you to come up with a principal about humans to demonstrate at the end of the lecture.” he pointed to one of the first groups, “pick a human.”

There was some slight shuffling and discussion as they tried to determine which human would be best. In the end they went for the smallest human hoping beyond hope that they would be the least aggressive.

It was a real pity that they didn’t understand the rule about short humans, and maverick, in an attempt to get to her group, ignored all the rules of decorum and simply stepped up onto the desks clambering over with great dexterity until she plopped herself down in a seat in the middle of the group turning to look at them, “Yo.” She said, rather un ironically as they stared at each other in shock.

The other humans were quickly divided out and went to sit with their groups mostly enjoying being the center of attention.

There was one less marine than they needed, so the highest ranking human handed his hat to the dog sitting on the floor and walked over to slide into a seat with them, showing his teeth in a gesture that was supposed to be friendly.

All around the room chattering steadily grew as the aliens began asking the humans quick fire questions which some of the marines found hard to keep up with.

When asked a question Ramirez simply shook his head, “You know what you guys probably know way more about humans that me. I’m not a doctor, or anything else. I am a marine, I know how to do like four things effectively, I call them the four Fs, Fight, Fun, Food, and er well you get the picture.”

Maverick was having a very amusing time explaining teeth to the aliens, albeit rather inaccurately considering that teeth weren’t actually bone but a mixture of enamel covered dentine, but Krill let it go on for the factor of amusement.”

The nervous members of the admiral’s group had already been lulled into a sense of ease at the man’s friendly and relaxing demeanor, and he was attempting to do his best at explaining a question given to him by one of the aliens, and was doing a better job than the marines at taking their questions seriously.

“Well you see, when it comes to humans you are always going to be relatively safe. Over the past thousands of years, access to soft cooked foods have caused our jaws to grow relatively small and weak leaving little room for our teeth. So most humans don’t like food that is difficult to eat. We aren’t impressive enough predators that we can just strip flesh from bone. Plus thats a great way to catch diseases, furthermore, our diets and the way we eat really had to change as our vocal cords moved further up in our throats. Sure this gave us the ability to speak and mimic almost any alien language known, but it also made us very prone to choking on our own food.”

He sighed, “I remember this one time when I was five and I choked on a hard candy, scariest moment of my life probably, or at least in the top ten. If you don’t know what choking is, its when something gets stuck in your airway blocking your ability to breath and you die from oxygen loss, I know a horrible way to die.”

The conversations continued all around the room until there was only twenty minutes left in class, and he called a stop so that the groups could demonstrate a human principle that they had learned.

The first group brought Maverick up and one of the other students presented her with a rock No one was really sure why he had the rock, but the fact that it had big eyeballs drawn on it was enough for her to happily accept the gift and declare its name to be “The Boulder.” The class was surprised to find that it took such little effort for a human to pack bond with something, but the fact that she held the rock in two hands and occasionally stroked a finger down it was clear enough evidence that it was true.

The other students demonstrated a human’s depth perception by throwing an object and watching as Ramirez leaped out over the desks, hands stretched out to catch the object mid fly before landing back on the ground. The precision that it required to do that left the class very very impressed.

Someone else had a human try to identify what something was based on it’s smell, and he accurately guessed the difference between Vrull Texraki and Runid just based on their smell. They even brought in one of the other humans to which the test subject exclaimed,  “Don’t tell me it’s Ramirez and his bitch ass. I would know those fumes anywhere.”

One of the humans managed to demonstrate a very impressive climbing ability, and another one of the marines was pleased to demonstrate a human’s advanced vestibular sense by doing a backflip off of one of the desks. He tried to do it twice, but tripped upon anding and ended up on his back much to the amusement of the other humans.

That was also a good demonstration of the human’s empathy reflex as the humans winced and were silent for a moment before they began their ridicule.

If they remembered correctly, humans used teasing and humor as social bonding. They would never have made fun of their friend if he had actually been hurt, but the fact that he wasn’t made it clearly acceptable to joke as it let the other humans know that everything was ok.

The last group caught the admiral off guard by saying the word yawn and causing a chain reaction that made its way all around the room until it terminated with the dog, who also yawned, much to the surprise of the students.

Krill watched all of this with interest, keeping an eye on his more motivated students, and the ones who got along best with the humans. He was still trying to get permission from his superiors, but taking a few house students with them on the omen and back to earth would be a great PR move and also a good way to get some of his more invested students an experience that they could really take with them into their careers.

If one thing WAS  clear by the end of the lecture.

It was that Maverick was not going to give up her pet rock any time soon. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans Are Space Orcs, “The hypothetical

I decided to go back to and play around with my older style of writing today. Taking a bi of a break from the main plot line for a little bit :) 

As a doctor, I often wonder about hypotheticals. What would happen if my patient was injured in this way, what would I do. Working with humans I find each scenario has to be more outlandish than the next assuming the human is going to do something stupid.

However, in all my time with humans there is one hypothetical that I find most interesting: what would happen if early human/nonhuman communication never happened, and like animals in documentaries, or at zoos we learned about the humans purely through observation.

Humor me for a moment as I write this as I think it could be an interesting thought-experiment for the scientific community. 

I imagine we would see them as a series of logs made by the zookeeper as the humans were captured and placed into their enclosures, not knowing that the humans were sentient.

I see it going something like this.

Day 1 - we encountered the strange creature on a distant planet. We have never seen anything like them before. They tall, though that is only by way of the walking bipedally. Their arms are very long, and their eyes face forward. We were forced to capture them through tranquilization as they were uncooperative. We have a group of them, about six that we released into the enclosure. They are very agitated, and we must do what we can to calm them or otherwise worry about causing them significant stress. I can see them now lying on the ground resting their heads, they do not look well from the drugs, but we hope that the side effects will not last long.

Day 2 - We have yet to determine the genders of the creatures or even if they have any. It is difficult to tell, though there are subtle anatomical differences that we assume might have some bearing on the subject. Luckily for us they ate within the first day, and continue to eat well. As far as we understand their diets, these creatures can eat a large range of food, more than any animal or alien we have ever seen, and this including meat, plants, and plant byproducts.

Day - 4 They have a very large range of vocalizations, in a very complex structure that almost seems as if they are speaking to one another. They grunt hiss click hum, and so much more. As far as we can tell, they seem very social and tend to congregate in a small circle to commune with each other. When they sleep, they tend to sleep in a large group, or within the same general vicinity of each other. It sees they have a strong pack mentality.

Day- 3 we were forced to move them to a new enclosure as, last night one of the zookeepers ran across the creatures scaling the wall of their enclosure using the digits on their hands and feet to hold to the rough surface and pull themselves upward. I and the other scientists are a bit put out as we should have known this based on the anatomy of their flexible toes, and the sockets of their shoulders. These creatures are very good at climbing. For this reason the new enclosure is much larger, it has a pool of water and many tall branches to climb though there is a field around it to keep the creatures form climbing out.

Day 4 - The pool was a good idea as the creatures seem to enjoy submerging themselves in water. We know now that their strangely colored skin is not actually skin but some kind of artificial covering. They take off this artificial skin if they enter the water and put it back on after they leave. We also know the difference between the males and the females now as the males have more defined muscular structures and the females are more rounded with softer angles. As far as we can determine there is no behavioral difference between the two species.

Day 5 - We think they know they are being watched, as they have a habit of obscuring themselves in the furthest end of the enclosure where it is difficult for them to be seen. They have even taken some of the fallen branches and erected a bit of a screen to hide away prying eyes, or at least that is how it seems. Some of our experts assume it was actually in order to build a proper nest though we cannot be entirely sure about that.  

Day 30 - We are worried about one of the females. Her body structure has begun to change over these past few weeks, and her belly is becoming distended. We are worried about some sort of blockage or bloating caused by the misuse of food. The other creatures seem to be worried about her as well. We  might go in and tranquilize her and bring her out to examine her at some point tomorrow.

Day 31 - we had to sedate every creature in the enclosure in order to pull the female out and separate er form her pack. We tried to separate her naturally from them, pulling her to one side of the enclosure, but it seemed as if they knew what we were doing and the other large males and the one aggressive female would not allow her to go. We had to dart all five of the others to capture her, though when we pulled her out we were delighted to find the reason for her distended belly has nothing to do with the food. It seems as if we had inadvertently picked up a pregnant alien creature., which is likely why the others were so protective over her. We worry though because upon examining the internal structures we are concerned that the head of the offspring will not be large enough to fit through the pelvis. We are not sure if this is what the natural progression of their child bearing is supposed to look  like.

Day - 50 we have been doing some tests on our  creatures and have found a few interesting things. Their senses are far superior to our own.  We once thought that their eyes would be adapted to hunting and racking movement, and while that is true in low light situations, they actually have very sharp sense of binocular vision, and are very competent at guessing distances. They seem to be a primary visual creature, and we assume that their vision is even better than ours. There is some evidence that they can even see somewhat in the dark, though based on our examination of their behavior they are primarily a daytime animal.

Day - 61 We think that they can hear us talking outside the enclosure. In fact, we think they have a very sensitive set of hearing organs. They often behave in ways that make us think they might be able to hear us. They always seem to know when we are coming into the enclosure to feed them. They tend to stand very close and watch us very carefully. We are worried that they might attack, but so far they have not. The most disconcerting is the large male and the smaller female. The way they watch some of our handlers unnerves them, and I am going to have to hire new hands to help with this project 

Day 70 - They can use tools! It is an exciting and amazing discovery. But just the other day we say them begin to make things using strips of their own not-skin and some branches. They have tied rocks together and are even using them to smash up bits of food. Their hands seem very capable of doing such things as they are actually quite  delicate in their movements. Each diget can be controlled to the finest degree and the rotational movement of their wrist implies  extreme dexterity. Many of us think that this leaves them on a path towards sentience. Our scientists estimate that they have the intellectual capabilities of a five-year-old child.

Day 90 - great progress has been made! The creatures extreme vocalizations has added to their advantage, in that we have taught them how to speak! The sentences are very rudimentary of course, like a child, but they can ask for food, help, and express their displeasure. However, the problem is, they seem to have discovered greater words of displeasure from the people observing them and have taken to yelling rude slurs at the attraction goers. We think they like getting a reaction. They are very aggressive, and are becoming more so as the days go by. We worry about their health.

Day 100 - two of the large males got into a fight yesterday. We assume it was over mating rites with the remaining female, though that is only a theory. The way the creatures fight is very strange, they ball their hands into fists and then hit each other like using a club. Sometimes they use the hard bony ends of their elbows, or the tips of their knees. A few times they even used their legs to strike at the other. The feat of balance was quite amazing and the power generated from blows like that was scary. Visitors were urged away from the enclosure when wounds started appearing. Both males were covered in blood. We had gone to sedate them but by the time we came back the fight was over and the two males were sitting with each other at the edge of the pool washing their wounds. We think they find the water soothing, though we worry about sickness or infection.

Day 140 - We cannot get to them, overnight and out of sight of our keepers they have constructed a sort of den or nest surrounded by thick leaves and tree bark. There is no way to see in, and there is no way to dart one of these creatures while on the inside. We have been   to get them while they are out in the open, but they always hear when the enclosure or the windows open and have taken to carrying around large shields made of leaves and branches. None of our darts have made it through sticking uselessly into branches. We worry greatly considering the female is coming closer and closer to her delivery day.

Day 170 - We have a plan for sedation, though it will require an enforcement team armed with the tranquilizer guns to preform it. We are worried about the female and the offspring, which we intend to rear by hand. We have no idea how the other larger humans are going to react when the smaller human is brought into the enclosure. They could kill it. We do not want this happening, and besides, we think this creature could be very docile if hand raised by us. 

Day 181 - The mother went into labor last night, and we were called in by one of the zookeepers. We have to act very fast  and are assembling a team. We are worried she might die as the sounds coming from the enclosure has caused us to close down the entire zoo. She seems to be in great pain as we have never heard a creature make that sound before. All of the creatures seem agitated as well, those who are not in the enclosure with them are pacing around outside. They seem very nervous.

The team has been assembled and it has been quiet for some minute except for a distant squalling. The large ales and other creatures are encircling the little habitat as if curious. We are worried the large males will find this as a sign ofweakness and attack.

Day 182 -  please help us. We went into the enclosure as we had assumed with hour weapons ready to take the little offspring away to safer area for cleaning, however as soon as we got close to the den, the creatures attacked. We did not see them camouflaged in the leaves, and they seemed to erupt out of nowhere. Our leader was violently bludgeoned with a rock, and another was strangled manually by the small female. Each one of them was violently killed.

Two of our team managed to make it to the door of the den but as they did, the still blood covered female leaped outward and attacked screaming. She was the most violent out of all of them and practically ripped the limbs off two of our men before killing them. Protecting her young.

The large male carried the sleeping creature fin his arms as the female searched around for any more survivors. There were none and the door had been left open. One of our valiant men tried to go and close it, but he was murdered   as the door was flung open crushing him against the back wall. The child was handed back to the mother and now they are hunting about the zoo in a pack. I have locked myself in this  room hoping they will not find me, but even now I can hear a rattling outside the door.

Day of freedom - Hello you slimy bastards. Didn’t think you could talk did you. Either way you better hope we get back to our home planet, otherwise we will take this one for ourselves and make you suffer till your bones bleach dry under and unforgiving sun.

A little bit melodramatic there at the end I know, but I have spent far to long with humans, and I understand that they would probably be just as dramatic as I am making it sound. Also, I just realized that I technically just wrote some fiction, which means the humans are definitely rubbing off on me

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Maladaptive Coping.”

This idea was given to me by a good friend of mine 

*WARNING* This issue of Krill’s journal contains literally ALL of the things that might bother you. Every self destructive behavior I could think of is mentioned in this piece. So PLEASE do not read it if there is even the slightest chance that it may bother you. I wont list everything here, and trust you to make your own decision on weather it is a good idea for you to read this or not. 

Also, a important note is that this is from an aliens perspective, and so does not contain every last nuance of these behaviors and the reasons behind them. I hope those of you who read a great day, and those who don’t read a great day as well! :)

The Journal of Xenomedical Biology 

Author: Dr. Krill of the Vrul 

The Human Manifestation of Self destructive Tendencies and Their Signs.

Over the past few years of studying and learning to understand humans, It has come to the attention of the medical community that humans are the most volatile species, psychologically. This is not meant as negative commentary on human issues as it might seem, but merely an observation that humans have the most widely varied pattern of psychological maladaptive responses when it comes to stress and related mental illness. Where each other species tends to have only two or three typical maladaptive responses, humans have been known to have analogous representations of all known mental abnormalities.

Now this journal is not specifically about all the ways the human brain can go wrong, but more accurately about the maladaptive response I have seen in humans over the past few years primarily demonstrating self destructive behaviors in one way or another.

You might notice an interesting pattern in my analysis today that clearly demonstrates a repetitive contradictory pattern in human self destructive tendencies, which will demonstrate just how varied and widely differing their responses can be.

First, humans have socially destructive behavior.which can come in many forms.

Withdrawal: from friends or close loved ones is a common self destructive behavior to look for in humans. This can happen on a large or small scale where the human withdraws for hours or even years. As a social species, humans find social interaction important, even if that is only remote communications with other humans. If that human begins to withdraw suddenly or even gradually over time, I might suggest being concerned about their well- being.

Now here is where the contradictions come into play, and forgive me if some of these social behaviors also overlap with the physical behaviors, with humans, they are often one in the same.

Increased socially dangerous behavior: now this may account for many things. Some humans will fall into a downward spiral where they surround themselves with other like minded humans and participate in dangerous physical activities, which I will discuss later

Increased partners: Now, while this behavior may be common for many humans, and could be argued as a physical behavior, there is cause for concern if a human suddenly increases the number of physical partners from their average. This usually accompanies reckless social behavior like not meeting the partner first before entering into a physical relationship, doing this on multiple occasions and might also be connected with the following -

Staying with an objectively horrible partner: now it is hard to identify why some humans do this, but often humans will choose a partner who is objectively horrible to them either physically or emotionally. Sometimes humans do this because they are afraid of the repercussions, are afraid of being alone, or they have been convinced that there is no other possible person out there who might love them. Humans put a lot of stock into physical relationships and many of them would rather be with someone horrible than be alone. Due to their social nature many humans put social interaction and partnership over their safety and mental health. If you see a human participating in this behavior, it is advised to get them help,even if the human does not want it. They deserve more than being treated horribly.

Now on occasion two humans in a downward spiral might come together and create a codependent relationship where they cannot function without one another. What the other human does the oher will follow and this can lead them both into a spiral of horrible physical and mental behaviors that will cause anguish in the long term. If one of them is involved with drugs, the other will follow etc.

Now some humans might even participate in self destructive behaviors that look good from an outside perspective. For instance, it is a common occurrence that humans overwork themselves to the point of burnout. Often humans throw themselves into their work to distract their minds and avoid the pain of something else, thi may include memories or having to return to an environment where they do not wish to go. These humans will work many hours and sacrifice their social lives to do more work, causing long term stress that can lead to heart attack stroke and other physical diseases related to increased stress and heightened blood pressure. Some humans may participate in this behavior as a way to prove themselves to others, that they are either competent or hard working.

On the flipside of this there are other humans who may just stop working at all. They let everything in their lives fall apart, and stop doing anything of note causing them to lose their jobs, their hobbies, their families and their friends. This one is often related to a withdrawal from other people and might include elements of physical recklessness like drug abuse.

Secondly and including a much wider range of self destructive behaviors, we see the physical manifestations of this phenomenon which vary widely and tend to come in opposing pairs..

Overheating and undereating: are two very common forms of stress response from humans. If humans have conditioned to see food as a reward for behavior or as a comforting mechanism (oten developed in childhood) they will eat in order to comfort themselves and to the point where it is adversely affecting their physical health. They may eat even if they are not hungry or if they are actively full. Some humans experience digestive issues while under stress and may even refuse to eat at all. There are other extreme cases where humans, usually in response to a perceived lack of control, will regulate their food intake to the point of starvation or other food related disorders.

This is closely related to over exercising, and also has links with a perceived lack of control in their life. These humans, often paired with restricted eating, will push themselves to their physical limit to control their own bodies as a form of having a hold on their own lives. This paired with restricted calories can cause an untold amount of damage both physically and metnally. Mental disorders linked to these behaviors are known to be the most deadly of disorders known to humans.

The consumption of Drugs and Alcohol

This is a very common and often overlooked  behavior in humans. Drinking is the consumption of beverages that contain Ethanol, which when reacting in the human brain causes, extreme mental degradation related to fuzziness and euphoria. Humans find this a pleasant feeling though it causes damage to many internal structures most primarily the liver. Unfortunately drinking is seen as a socially acceptable behavior with humans and so excessive drinking is often caught too late or not called out at all. These humans may drink from the beginning to the end of the day and will build up a tolerance to alcohol amounts that would kill another human. They build up an immunity to the point where they need larger and larger doses to feel the same effects. They will often neglect their social connections including friends and family for a chance with the bottle.

This is the same with other illicit drugs, which may have even more severe effects on the person and my lead to drug induced psychosis. Both substances are highly addictive to the point where a human may commit horrible acts like murder, robbery, etc to get the drugs that they crave. This is usually in response to some sort of mental anguish they are trying to drown out but may be related to them becoming hooked on drugs they needed after surgery. On rare occasions, this behavior began in conjunction with destructive social behaviors which lead them down into a spiral.

Excessive partying is often paired with drug use and an increased amount of intimate partners. Many humans who have fallen into this spiral might refuse to admit that they are spiraling at all. Generally limited use of a substance can be acceptable for a human, but there are plenty of other chemicals that should not be consumed at all.

There are even some drugs that are known to be mild on the user but may cause emotional dependence. These drugs are not known to cause physical dependance, but the human can convince themselves that they require the drug to function emotionally during the day and will neglect their family, friends and lives in order to spend more time with their drug of choice Again you will see the withdrawal from social contacts as an extreme warning sign in humans.

Sleeping too much or not sleeping at all:A human getting enough sleep is important for their mental health but sleeping too much is proven to throw off circadian rhythms and increase chances of depression or worsening depression. Humans require an amount of sleep that is no more or no less than what they need. Many humans will claim to not be getting enough sleep because they feel tired, when in reality their oversleeping causes grogginess and reduced amount of energy though it might seem counter intuitive.  On the other hand humans might refuse to sleep at all, instead occupying their time with some other activity. It is important to remember though that an inability to sleep might also be insomnia, and the human hs no choices in the matter. I find that humans, in general, are horrible at regulating a proper healthy sleep schedule.

Participation in dangerous hobbies. Now, I understand that this is common for many humans and does not indicate self destructive behavior, but I would consider noting when a human suddenly involves themselves in dangerous hobbies after not participating for a long time, especially when that human is not careful and doesnt take time to properly consider safety protocols. 

Another very common one is humans causing intentional physical harm to themselves. This comes in levels of severity and I would say that most humans do this to some degree or another. Often these are connected to nervous ticks or even learned behaviors from childhood. This can include, picking scabs, biting nails, picking at the skin of the thumbs or the lips, pilling hair, and biting the inside of the cheeks. These smaller behaviors are usually minor and do not require attention, they may cause scarring but are not generally connected to extreme mental anguish.

However, these behaviors can escalate dramatically to the use of knives and razors. This behavior is EXTREMELY maladaptive and indicates severe mental anguish and trauma and must be addressed immediately. These behaviors might escalate and be linked to loss of life by the human’s own hand. I have not witnessed this personally, and I never intend to as I keep a very close eye on my humans.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Humans 101.”

Sorry for not posting yesterday. I have had the WORST motivation the past few weeks, but I thought you might like to see some more of Krill. Hope you all have a great day!

Krill walked up the university hallway turning his head to look out the window at the vast expanse of space before him. It had been a very long time since he had been to University, in the Vrul sense of the word, which was less like University and more like on the job training, but he had recently accepted an assignment at the Intergalactic Institute of Biological Science. Granted, he wasn’t a real professor, not fully, but an adjunct who had signed on to do a series of lectures for the next few months while he waited for Admiral Vir’s return. 

Since Simon had become acting Captain of the ship, it seemed that there was less and less reason for him to be there. She wasn’t experienced enough to take on the real dangerous assignments that the Admiral had excelled at, and due to her rule following nature, and the assignments they were sent on, mostly diplomatic and exploratory in nature, Krill had found less and less use for himself on the ship. He didn’t expect to be gone forever, and he doubted he would be able to leave at this point.

He couldn’t return to his home planet, not now there was a standing order for his termination, which he was planning to avoid with great prejudice. Though he found it wildly Ironic that they had asked him to come teach, when many of the professors at the school were, in fact, other Vrul.

It was with this small piece of amusement that he scuttled into the lecture room: Large and circular with seats rising on all sides and a projection hub right in the middle. The room was already packed full despite him being five minutes early. He had been told his lecture series would be popular, but he hadn’t expected there to be standing room only, and even then, there were students sitting on the floor, and a few Vrul floating in the air high above other students' heads.

He moved to the center of the room to set up his projections and, from the corner of his eye watched as a few of the front row students shifted back slightly. The Tesraki, Rundi and Finnari students didn’t seem to notice, but the Vrul students certainly did, sarong at him like he was some sort of freak.

He  could hear the whispering, and he reveled in it.

It was nice to be intimidating sometimes.

Overhead the lights flashed once, and then twice, and the entire room went quiet expectantly looking down at him with their wide eyes.

He drew himself up Resting two of his hands together and another two behind his back as he began pacing his way around the projection field. Students Continued to whisper quietly, “Good morning class, My name is Dr. Krill Galaxy renowned trauma surgeon, and the galactic leading expert in xeno-medicine with an emphasis in humanity.”

There was a uiet muttering around the room.

“I have been acting medical officer aboard the UNSC Omen once Harbinger for more than two years, and I have practiced surgery in hospitals From Andromeda and Irus to the milky way and Earth.”

More shifting wide eyes and some nervous muttering.

He looked around the room shrewdly at all the new faces, “How many of you are interested in working with the intergalactic community.”

A slow raise of hands.

“Then I should probably let you know. Humanity has begun to profuse through all the major sectors of space, business, government, shipping, sales, medical. Humans are everywhere, and humans can do anything. If you wish to work in the wider intergalactic community, you will be working with humans, and many of you will work extremely closely with humans.”

Nervous expressions all around.

“I noticed many of you, the Vrul students especially have noticed the strange effect that spending time with humans can have on an individual.”

He looked around and saw some acknowledgement.

“The colloquial term for it is called the humanizing phenomenon and it will happen to you no matter how hard you try. Scientists have said that you will become more aggressive in order to interact with humans, your movements will become more predatory, you will come to focus on facial cues and the pitch of voices to determine emotion, and soon,you will even begin to utilize human body language in order to communicate better with them.” He motioned to himself, “Out of all the alien species,I have spent the most time with humans, and as you can see, I communicate primarily in a way that humans would understand, mostly with nonverbal body cues. I don’t often use my helium sack as I get in the way with keeping up with humans.” he turned to look around at the room, “Human’s no longer scare me. As pack animals, your social influence is often more important than your physical influence. Given the fact that I have built myself up in social influence within a human pack, I no longer worry myself with being round humans. In fact, I Have never been safer in my entire life.”

His antenna vibrated slightlin amusement, “In fact it is well known that I already have a termination order placed on my head by the Vrul council.”

There was a shocked gasp from certain Vrul parts of the room.

He swaggered about the room a little smugly. He didn’t usually get reactions like this from people.

“They actually took me from an assembly meeting with the GA and brought me back for termination, but one of my humans, as I certainly do consider them mine as much as they consider me theirs, came and rescued me single handedly.”

Another murmuring from around the room.

“How did he do it?”

They waited.

“He used his complex human vocal cords and clapping to simulate a beat. In that way he disabled all the guards, and climbed his way up the guiding rope to the council chamber.”

More soft muttering.

“If you make friends with a human, you are probably as safe as you are ever going to be, especially if you happen to become friends with a very audacious human=, in which case there is nothing that they will not do for you.” He spun on the spot, “Enough for introductions, I will please have you open your files to page one of the textbook, and we will go over a brief discussion of human mechanical anatomy.”

There was a shuffling around the room as Data pads were produced.

Krill brought up an anatomical projection of a human. Looking up it amused him to know that this anatomical model, the one used in almost every nonhuman textbook, was modeled on one single human, that being Adam Vir, all accept for the right leg of course, which was modeled on another human of similar height.

“Humans are are omnivorous bipeds with an endoskeletal structure supported by a vascular system. I know a lot of you have been wrongfully told that humans are primarily carnivores, though that is not true, while human can eat a variety of foods, there are humans that choose to live without eating meat, and they can be sustained on a herbivore diet if they wish. As you can see here, the front facing eyes of the human mark them off as a predator species, though this isn’t always the perfect indicator. Vrul eyes are on the front, but, as we know, Vrul also have prismatic vision that is more closely related that of insects on an earth-like planet.” he glanced around the room, “These predator classifications only exist for a class of alien known as the vascular type, which uses a pump to push fluid through the body. As you know Vrul, Burg, Gromm, and Lumins as well as a few others are not represented in this category.”

“Can anyone tell me which species ARE classified as the vascular subtype.”

There was a raised hand and he pointed, “You there.”

“I can provide a short list sir, Tesraki, Rundi, Humans, and Drev to name a few, but the Drev are a notable outlier for this rule because their war-like culture has supported the slow movement of the eyes towards the front of the face despite them being a herbivore species.”

Krill nodded, “Very good. Yes, humans are in fact a REAL predator species, however it is important to note that the greater 80% of human diets are supported by fruits and vegetables. Based on the amount and distribution of consumed foods, humans are actually closer to herbivores in their dietary choices than they are carnivores.”

There was a soft muttering around the room. Either disbelief or interest, he couldn't tell.

“Historically, humans would have evolved from tree dwelling omnivores, though their diets would also have been primarily fruit, and maybe insects as hunting only really came after they moved to land based travel on two legs. As far as earth animals are concerned, humans are not a top tier predator, and years of life in padded habitats using technology have actually dulled their hunting senses and abilities. A human COULD take a chunk out of you with their teeth, but they certainly wouldn’t WANT to. It would definitely be a last resort. Following that, humans only eat cooked meat as they can grow very sick on consuming certain raw products.”

The class shifted and whispered to each other.

“Yes, I know you have been told many strange and odd things about humans, but most of those are heavily exaggerated. However, it is true that humans are more versatile than most of us. Humans can run, walk, climb, throw, jump and swim, and while they don’t do any of those particularly well, their ability to do all of them  to some degree makes them the most versatile alien in the GA. Furthermore humans also have a multitude of senses, ones that are common to most of us balance, heat cold, pain, etcetera, but there is one sense that they have which is very uncommon in the galaxy, and that is a sense of smell.”

All around him, students were taking notes, “This is the ability for a human to detect particles in the air and, often, identify their sources. Everything sheds particles, and the human nose can pick up those particles. For instance humans generally like the smell of Iotans because Iotins shed compounds similar to foods that humans like to eat. Once upon a time it might have been used to help humans detect poison or other predators, but like I have said before, a human is a middleman in abilities. All of a human’s senses are relatively dull in comparison to some of their earth counterparts.”

He turned to his projector and flipped it to the anatomical structure of a dog, one that had been oddled off the only dog that many aliens had ever met.

Waffles the admiral’s dog.

“This creature’s sense of smell is powerful enough,they have been known to track a sent trail for miles through densely wooded forests. They can smell a change in hormone and pheromone levels on other creatures, and are even being used to detect certain diseases. The best a human can do is smell a cooking meal.”

He walked in a wide circle looking out at the students, some of them looking excited, others staring on in trepidation.

“Human eyesight is on a similar level to their smell. Humans have binocular vision which makes their depth perception quite good. A human is perfectly capable of snatching a flying object out of the air as their predatory instincts draw them to movement. This also makes humans very adept at navigating through obstacles like they might once have had to do in trees. Furthermore, it allows them to guess distance to prey during hunting.” He switched to a picture of a drev, “However humans do not have the best vision out of all aliens species. While the acuity of a human and a Drev are similar, Drev can detect Ultraviolet wavelengths where humans can only see the visible spectrum.” He looked at some of the Vrul, “Take solace in the knowledge that you can see thermal where humans cannot. They have relatively poor night vision, but better than that of you or I and far better than the Drev who traded the use of multiple cones to very frew light sensing rods.”

He looked up from his lecturing, “Are there any questions so far.”

Every had in the room shot into the air.

He paused to look at them faces lit by the glowing bluish light of the hologram behind him and sighed, he supposed this is what he was here for.

“Let’s star in the back then, shall we.”

One of the hands went down.

“Sir, is it true that humans are capable of surviving cortical tissue damage.”

Krill snorted, a sound he probably shouldnt have been able to make since he didn’t have a nose but one he had learned how to make because it expressed a very important emotion when interacting with humans. The entire class looked at him funny.

He sighed, “Yes, The first surgery I preformed on a human involved removing an eight inch steel rod from an eye socket which had gone into cortical tissue. To this day that human… well hes been doing fine, a bit of a dumbass sometimes, but I think that was a part of his personality before brain damage.”

They stared at him confused until Krill realised that dumbass probably wasn’t in their vocabulary. It probably translated to silent butt or idiot butt which didn’t have the same kind of ring to it.

Krill waved a hand, “In certain cases humans have been known to survive with only one hemisphere of their brain.”

A chorus of disbelief, “It is true, in certain cases where electrical abnormalities n the brain cause convulsions, surgeons intentionally remove half the brain to increase quality of life. There are a couple of downsides to this of course, like the inability to play musical instruments, but most humans still live a productive and fulfilling life after the procedure.”

More hands shot up again.

He turned and chose one at Random.

“Can humans smell fear”

Krill frowned, “No humans can’t smell fear. Whoever told you that was smoking something.”The class stared blankly at him until he picked another hand.

“Are you worried that the humans will ever…. Turn on you?”

Krill raised his hands into the air in exasperation, “They are SENTIENT beings not wild animals  Humans have strict social rules like you or anyone else. It would be illegal for them to hurt me , and I doubt they would let it happen at all. Humans aren’t feral. In fact my partner aboard the ship is Doctor Katie Quinn, and she is just as experienced in the field of medicine as I am. SHe can match me in almost any medical procedure and she only has two cortical hemispheres, and less than half the amount of hands.”

He frowned at the room, “I have no idea where ou all got these ideas from. Humans are thinking creatures not animals. The reason they survived on their planet is not because they are the strongest predator, but because they are the smartest, just like you or I. the only difference between us is that the Human planet is so hostile, they have been forced to keep some of their more instinctive tendencies.”

More hands raised.

“Have you seen one of these larger earth animals, sir?”

“Yes on plenty of occasions.” He flipped his diagram back to that of a dog, “This animal here is called a dog, the ancestral  evolution of the wolf, which is just a much larger version of this animal here. These animals are higher on the food chain that humans and have the ability to easily outrun, attack and rip the throat out of a human.” He paused as the class pulled back, “Which is why humans often use them in security, protection and law enforcement, because no human wants to fight one of these creatures.” He smiled a bit grimly, “Also humans just love to keep them as pets.”

There was an uproar around the room.

How could anyone want to keep something that could rip their face off as a pet.

Krill raised a hand to quiet down the room, “I know, I know, it all sounds very strange, but you must understand, humans and dogs are both descended from highly social pack groups. At one point a human took wolf cubs and began raising them and breeding them for desirable traits. As wolves are pack animals they slowly would have begun to see humans as members of their own pack family. In this humans molded a creature into being one of their greatest allies. Dogs rely on humans and humans rely on dogs for many jobs. Humans love dogs and dogs love humans. In fact, humans have bred this animal so extensively that dogs are one of the only creatures on their own planet capable of reading human facial expressions.”

He pulled up an image from his personal files, one where Adam sat on the floor, and the dog Waffles sat next to him. He made a face as her long, pink tongue ran up the side of his cheek.

The class gasped.

“She could easily use this opportunity to kill him.” krill said, “But she never would.” He turned to another image of himself standing next to the dog, a hand resting on her back.

More gasping.

Krill was somewhat amused. “Humans, as I said are social in the extreme, and this fact is going to be our best ally when meeting them. Anyone and anything can become part of a human pack. In fact, this instinct in humans is so strong that inanimate objects can easily be accepted into a human’s pack. They routinely name plants and attribute personalities to them. I once conducted an experiment where I placed fake eyes.” Googly eyes to be exact, “On a waste receptacle, and the humans named him Mr. Rubbish and began throwing away their items exclusively in that specific receptacle as ‘Offerings’ to Mr Rubbish….. That is not a joke, that actually happened.” He appraised them with a stern look, “Befriending humans is the most important thing you can do, and probably one of the easiest things as well. If you find yourself incapable of making friends with a human, its probably time to look at yourself personally because you must be horrible.” he pointed to himself, “I will openly admit that my personality isn’t exactly the easiest to be around, and yet I still managed it on accident.”

His lecture continued for some minutes, covering more anatomy, bone structures and some interesting facts about their internal organs.

However he was forced to stop as little lights began blinking overhead, and he went to dismiss the class, “Next week we will be discussing the effects of adrenaline on humans as a special treat to those who decide to return after this first lecture. And for your assignment, I want you to find one news article that perpetuates a myth about humans and write a short essay debunking it. Since this is the first week I am going lenient on assignments but by the end of the term I do expect full essays at publishable quality.”

Everyone in the class stood, and he found himself suddenly swarmed by a mass of figures.

It seemed as if he was going to be here for a while.

Little did Krill know that his lecture series was becoming so popular that the administration was going to have to upgrade his lecture hall two more times in the concurrent weeks.

Everyone wanted to know about humans.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “A Chance.”

A continuation on the Dr. Krill lecture series about humans.

The room was large and echoing, voices raised up towards the ceiling, and despite their being enough room to fit more than three classrooms of the original size, there still wasn’t enough room to fit everyone, with some students standing or sitting off to the side. Cameras had been brought in to observe the lecture, and were being mounted as they watched, so other students from other universities could Audit the lectures.

A group of four students, two Vrul and two Tesraki sat together on the far right of the lecture hall. They had been forced to pair together for another one of their class projects and just ended up naturally gravitating towards what was familiar, sitting next to each other as they waited for the lecture to begin.

“Did you guys finish the assignment?”

“I did.” Of course the two Vrul had, that was to be expected.

The Tesraki looked down at their papers, work halfway finished because they had a tough time from telling what was myth from what was fact.

“Humans, dn not, in fact, cannibalize their young.”

“Where the hell did you hear that.”

“I had an older classmate tell me once, and I saw it in another news article.”

There was muttering, “Even we knew that.”

The other vrul shuffled their papers studiously, “Humans do not have hypnotic gazes that can paralyze their prey.” “Really, I felt for sure that that one was going to be real.”

The Tesraki’s ears drooped, “Well apparently, human stomach acid IS powerful enough to eat through metal.”

There was silence.

“No really, that can’t be true.”

The Tesraki nodded, “It isn’t a myth.” He sighed in frustration, “Everything I looked up about humans was true. Human bones are stronger than steel, the human liver can regenerate,  humans can transplant organs from one human to another and it will work. Humans have a system of language that doesn't require the use of noise, it's called sign language by the way.” 

One of the Vrul vibrated their antenna, “I am sorry to hear your search did not go well, perhaps if you had read more disreputable news articles it would have been better. Some of the major newspapers have the ability to contact better sources, which means their articles are most likely to be right.”

“Did you know the human jaw is powerful enough to bite off their own fingers, but humans don’t do it because number one, that hurts a lot, and number two, their brain doesn’t allow them to even consider it.”

There was a silence.

“Is that a fact or a myth.”

The other Tesraki sighed, “that is a fact.”

Just then the lights overhead blinked once and then twice. The students turned to look down at the room where Dr. Krill was making his way across the floor. Making his way in that unnatural and predatory way he had. His body moved with a fluid grace in comparison to the normal jerky movements of his species. His legs rolled one after the other in a wheel that kept him moving forward, never breaking. The shoulders on his body swayed slightly back and forth lending the power of his arms into the movement of his legs. 

The way he moved his head around the room, seeming to focus on each one of them in turn rather than taking in the whole scene at once was…. Unnerving to say the least his helium sack sat mostly unused against his shoulders and upper back as he moved into the room. Not once since he had started here had anyone seen him use it. 

He said it was too slow and made keeping up with humans difficult unless you were being dragged behind them.

It was…. Strange to watch…. How he never seemed to stop moving. Even when he spoke his four hands and his head moved to emphasize his points. When speaking to students coming up to see him, his body shifted in reaction to their words. His hands wide, then closed then open again, up and then down. His chin rose and fell in greeting to people and students he knew and to those he didn’t know so well.

It was a fascinating scene to watch, and one they were not entirely sure if they liked.

Dr Krill made a strange noise deep inside his throat, that over the speakers had the entire class turning to look at him. It was a strange sort of barking cough mixed with a hum. THey couldn’t have known that krill was imitating  the way humans clear their throat when they want to speak.

“Students, I hope you all had a good week, and I hope you were all able to complete my first, and easiest assignment?”

There was a soft muttering around the room.

The doctor clapped both of his hands together, producing a sharp noise that brought attention back to himself, “Well, as I have said, today, as a special treat for staying….” He turned to look around the room before muttering, “And multiplying, apparently.” He frowned when none of the students seemed amused at his joke but continued, “I am going to be talking about the human fight flight or freeze response and the entire reaction of the sympathetic nervous system.”

Students withdrew their holopads to begin taking notes.

The cameras zoomed in on doctor Krill.

“We discussed last week how humans are technically considered predator animals, and they are as they eat and consume other animals daily. However, humans are not an apex predator as it isn’t often that they consume other predators. In fact, for the longest time humans were some of the weakest, and easiest to kill preditors for larger and more intimidating animals. In this way that lead to the development of the sympathetic nervous system.”

He turned around the room, and the two Vrul cringed back as his eyes seemed to fall on thim. His antenna were unusually still,

“The sympathetic and parasympathetic systems account for two sides of the same coin. The parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for the workings of the body when the human is relaxed. It focuses primarily on digestion, relaxation slower breathing and even blood flow through the major organs including the eyes. It has other properties too of course, but when a human is relaxed their parasympathetic nervous system is the one generally in charge during those times.”

He turned to the projector, “Now assume you are an ancient human out on your natural habitat of the savanna -- without their adaptation the human’s natural habitat is warm and relatively dry with lots of open grassland and the occasional tree.” he flipped a picture on the projector and the class pulled back a bit in surprise at the picture that unfolded before them. It was a strange creature standing upright tall but remarkably hairy accept for on its face and hands, “This is a 3D rendered recreation of what early humans might have looked like based on skeletal remains found in their fossil record. The development of the human sympathetic nervous system likely started long before humans looked like this, but still the visual aid is one that I find compelling.” The class stared at the creatures thick face, heavy brow and sloping shoulders.

Humans today were much more graceful, though much less powerful than what this beast looked like. It was strange trying to determine which one was the superior. They supposed the current human, as its head size looked much bigger in comparison.

Krill pulled up a side by side comparison with his earlier diagram.

They recognized the modern human as he had been rendered in textbooks thousands of times since he had first been studied.

Very pale with his fine blond fur compared to the hulking shape next to him, with course brown fur that covered his entire body.

“Not the evolutionary changes that had to be made to get from this human.” He pointed at the hairy one, “To that one.” He motioned to the pale one, “The hips grew smaller, the spine took on a sharp S curve, the ratio of legs to arms changed dramatically, leaving the human with longer legs and comparatively short arms. The jaw and the face shortened, while the cranium expanded and hair receded across the body. The current human skeletal structure is finer and more delicate than its original counterpart, with a focus on precision in movement over power, which has become so important to their survival today.”

Dr Krill pointed to the picture of the old human, “This human tried its best to stay alive.” He pointed at the other human, “This human seems to be lacking in a lot of those same survival skills as he is constantly trying to get himself killed.” Krill sighed, “Modern humans are a little bit more complicated than their ancestors, but I digress.” Now imagine either on of these humans being faced with what might have been their natural predator on the savanna.

He flipped the image and the crowd gasped as a massive alien shape leaped up into a third projected spot. It was long and sinewy walking on four legs and a had a fur color like the tanned grassland. It’s eyes were face front, and on its massive paws there were huge hooked claws. Dr. Krill pressed a button to start the looping animation that allowed the creature to lope along with a sinuous grace that made the human lok clumsy and awkward in comparison, all three of the animations moving. 

The creature opened its mouth and the entire class pulled back as huge razor sharp teeth glinted in the light, as it yawned, shook its head, and then continued walking.

“This is an African Lion, a female of the species weighing in at only 280 lbs. Now while some humans can weigh that much, a human of comparable fitness like our modern human weigh in at around only 210 lbs as an adult male. Now this female lion has a higher muscle to body mass index than the human, can run faster, jump higher, and bite harder. She has long and protruding K-9 teeth and retractable claws. The human has no chance….. or …. Does he.”

The class shifted slightly in their seats  muttering 

Krill waited for a long drawn out moment before, “No, statistically he is going to get his face eaten off, however, he does still have a slight chance.”

“The human will see the predator, and immediately upon seeing the body is going to flood the system with a hormone called adrenaline. Adrenaline is a natural high for humans that can result in increased strength, speed, and heightened visual perception. The Parasympathetic system is switched off for the sympathetic nervous system. The heart begins to beat faster as blood is routed into all the major muscle groups, those being primarily the legs. All activity in the internal organs shuts down as that blood flow is routed outwards. Blood can even be funneled away from the brain, despite that seeming a bit counter productive, causing tunnel vision in the eyes. Despite this, the brain begins to work faster allowing the human to see at more frames per second which seems, to a human, to slow down time.”

He turned to look at them, “Now a human has three opinions in a dangerous situation like this, either fight, flight, or freeze. All of these responses would have been adaptive in an environment like this with fight being, hopefully, the last response. Many predator animals are geared for a chase, so freezing will give a human a better chance of survival because if they run they will most certainly be attacked. ON the other hand sometimes this will not work, and being able to run as fast as possible is their only option. Backed against a wall and unable to run fast enough, a human has to fight. Some humans do not react in this order.” 

He turned to look at the image, “The human body on adrenaline is capable of some wild and unbelievable things. The average human only uses around 40-60% of their body's natural strength. Systems in the brain will not allow more because if a human were able to use all the power of their body, they could rend muscle from bone. Well trained human athletes can use up to 70-90% of their natural strength, but during a time like this, the average human can be turned into a well trained athlete or more. In dire situations humans have been known to lift up to seven times their own body weight. During this time humans have been known to lift vehicles, wrestle wild animals, and throw large boulders. However, this does not come without a price, and the human will likely receive damage to their muscular structure.”

He turned to point at the pictures again.

“I heard a story about how a human choked to death a small mountain lion, and another man who fought off a shark. Humans are statistically unlikely to win a fight like this, but it isn’t impossible.”

He stalked around the room, “Humans do not just experience adrenaline when dealing with animals, but during accidents, public speaking events, and even in conflict with other humans. Expecting to be hurt, the human body has the ability to completely shut off its pain perception.”

There was a stunned silence all around him, and then an uproar.

Dr. krill seemed almost smug as he watched them react like that, and raised a hand for silence.

They quieted down, “Yes, you heard me, the human brain has the ability to completely ignore pain, until the danger is dealt with. The first surgery I ever did, on this human right here is a good demonstration…. If you do not want to see graphic images turn your head away now.”

Even if they had wanted too it was impossible to tear their eyes away as the image popped up on screen.

The class gasped.

There was a collective sound of disgust.

“That screwdriver had gone in through the front of his eye, broke through the back of the ocular socket and slid into one of the cortical folds of the brain. He WALKED into my surgery and conversed with me like a logical and reasoning person. He did not report any physical discomfort or pain, he did not scream or show any other signs of distress. His brain had completely shut off all response to the pain.”

He turned to walk around the circle.

“You see most of the time pain is a good thing, it allows you to know when something is wrong, but there are other times, dire situations like this where the ability to feel pain will only hinder the subject. If this human had been able to feel pain it is likely his thrashing and screaming would have caused more cortical damage than it already would have. I heard a story of a woman who fell off a cliff and broke both of her legs horribly, while she was still in pain, she managed to crawl her way off a mountain, and as soon as other humans found her she passed out as the pain got worse. Another human, who had been rock climbing, ended up with his arm trapped under a boulder and with no escape. He was there for days, but, in the end, he managed to cut off his own arm in order to escape.”

More horrified gasping from the crowd as they pulled away in shock and terror.

“These are just some of the most impressive stories. Not all humans will react like this. The vast majority of humans will freeze when they should fight, or run when they should freeze. Some will simply give up and curl into a ball, but there are other humans, like this, who under adrenaline can run like olympic sprinters, lift seven times their own size and fight better than the animals attacking them. The capabilities and the possibilities of a human under the influence of adrenaline are remarkable.”

His antenna vibrated just a little in amusement, “As you can imagine, humans do not experience this much these days, but psychological studies have reported that it is actually healthy for humans to experience the fight or flight response as it helps the brain retain that ability. For something to continue working you need to use it. Scientists say that exposing a human to a sympathetic response in a controlled environment is good for their mental health.” He sighed, “Of course this leads humans to watching horror themed movies, skydiving, and recreational fighting. Otherwise humans put themselves into controlled danger in order to feel what their ancestors felt a long time ago when they were being chased by large raging land predators, but when your species developed in an environment that hostile, it is to be expected.”

The group of four stared at krill, and by extension the animation of the real living human behind him. They tried to imagine the slim two legged figure winning a fight against the massive clawed beast, but were having trouble. Its teeth, which had once seemed so sharp, now were dull and almost useless. The nails on its hands, once considered claws were tiny, flimsy and pathetic, but….. It seemed strange, there was still something in the way it moved that suggested possibilities.

Humans were survivors where many other species were not.

Humans may not have had a very high chance.

But at least they had a chance. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird, “A Preoccupation with Death.”

Hope you enjoy :)

Analysis By Dr. Krill MD

Humanity’s preoccupation with death has always fascinated me: I say fascinated because to say that it disturbs me would be rather unscientific, and I have been attempting to reign in my anger… I have had some… complaints over the last year about the unprofessionalism of my previous papers. The GA community does not appreciate, and I quote, “Excessive swearing, and screaming” in virtual reports, so today I will attempt to be calm and relaxed as I explain to you, common human traditions based around death.

Now you must understand, from my perspective these practices are quite bizarre. Vrull have no rituals associated with death. The Vrull are disposed of and their bodies are incinerated. The ash is then disposed with by mixing into the soil to produce needed plants on the planet surface. There are no other options, and no other arrangements are made.

However, I am told that funeral rights with humans are, often, more to do with what the living need than what the deceased do. However, there are some funeral rights believed to be required in certain human cultures, so that rule does not always hold completely true.

I will begin from the moment of death.

Unlike the Vrull humans do not know their exact time of death. Granted this is not because the Vrull have a set clocking system in their bodies which sets the time in which we die, but because our society sets forth a time of our usefulness. No one knows how long a Vrull can feasibly live because no one has tried it before. I myself might plan on finding out, as I have no intention of returning for my scheduled termination, which is already a year overdue.

Humans, like most other species die in several different ways, accidents, sickness, or the sudden failure of the body due to old age, the final one generally happening peacefully and in their sleep.

However this is where humans tend to diverge from their inhuman counterparts, in that they are very social creatures, the death of a human is usually witnessed by multiple family members and friends, in the case of sickness, and is mourned many weeks after because the death of someone in your social circle changes that circle forever. Social bonds are cut and entire social lives are upended. Humans bond so heavily with each other that the loss of one of their own can lead to mental and emotional trauma extreme enough to require medication and hospitalization.

Humans plan their deaths months to years in advance. In certain instances, their jobs force them to plan their death in advance in case something were to happen. Decisions need to be made about who owns their property, where it goes, what happens to their dwellings, and how the surviving members of their family will be supported. Sometimes they plan this due to terminal illness which they knew will lead to their deaths, otherwise they might just do it out of precaution.

There are many different ways of disposing of a corpse. First of all, you must determine if any of the human parts are recyclable: this being the very morbid idea of taking someone else’s organs and giving them to another person. Now with the advancement of this technology, organ transplants from donors is not as common as it once was seeing as they can now 3D print organs. However, this method is not time effective and is very costly, in some cases leaving the harvesting of deceased human organs to be the only viable option.

Yes, they take organs from dead people… the doctor and surgeon in me admires that thought process, but the thinking breathing creature inside of me recoils heavily at the idea.

Assuming that no one requires your organs, or if you have especially requested for your organ not to be used  than there are other questions that need to be addressed. There are humans who have jobs especially in the business of taking care of dead bodies. They are generally moved in special containers and placed in refrigerated units to slow decomposition while the relatives determine what they want to do with the body.

In certain cases, where the death is suspicious, as related to murder, there are, in fact, humans who specilize in determining the cause and time of death based on the decomposition rate of a body and the stiffness of the flesh itself. This is a semi-common practice across the galaxy, and I myself have performed one or two autopsies since my professional career began though they are far more common for humans.

I find that the most humane method of human enterrement, and the one that makes most sense to me as a Vrull is the idea of cremation. The body is taken and placed in a furnace that is then heated enough to turn the body to ash leaving only bone fragments and the occasional mineral deposit. The ash may then be given to the family members or disposed of accordingly. Some humans find it comforting to keep the remains in some sort of container.... A fact which I find morbid but, we have proven in abundance that I find much of what humanity does, rather morbid.

It is only going to get worse.

The other method of disposal, popular through human history, however made someone obscure in recent centuries due to the proliferation of human burial sites…. The common north american and European Burial and funeral rights went as follows. After death, and freezing in the morgue, a special human with the job of mortician is called in to prepared the body for burial…. This is where it gets very morbid.

The body is drained of all of its fluids and then pumped full of preservatives to slow down the process of decomposition. The faces are then painted with makeup to give the corpse the appearance of sleep rather than death. The body is dressed in fine clothing and placed inside a coffin or casket: these in themselves can cost thousands of dollars as the family members decide what materials the box should be made out of and lined with, precious metals, woods like oak or steel, and the inside lined in velvet satin or silk. The body is placed inside with the person dressed in a finely tailored suit before a hearse: a special vehicle designed to carry caskets is brought to the place of mourning, generally a curch or a funeral home.

Many times the body is then put through a “viewing”.... It sounds just as bad as I make it seem, when the humans come in…. In large groups…. To stare at their dead relative. Just…. Stare at their rotting corpse before it is hauled away and lowered into an six foot hole in the earth. A decorative rock is then place on top of that inscribed with the deceased’s name so that everyone knows where to find their moldering corpse….

….

….

I am told this provides a lot of closure for family members, though I have yet to understand why staring at a painted corpse would be helpful.’

Unfortunately, with humans, this isn't the most gruesome method they have of corpse disposal, nor the most involved 

You may also chose to donate your body to science…

They might hand your bod over to a medical school, where aspiring doctors will, in groups, dissect your corpse slowly over an intervening few weeks or months. It is… gruesome, but a necessary part of the learning process. Your skeleton might even be recycled for use as a tool to demonstrate the skeletal structure to those very same students.

Perhaps your body will end up in a museum, where they will encase your nervous system in plaster and place it on a wall for school children and visiting day travelers to view.

Perhaps you might donate your body to…. A body farm. A palace where scientists will toss your corpse out into different elements to observe the rate and change of decomposition based on different dump sites. They will examine the decomposition, the moisture loss, and the bugs which take to eating your body. This research will then be used to determine the cause o death for other corpses disposed of by murderers or in similar fashion.

It is gruesome, but I suppose…. It is useful for scientific efforts.

These aren't the only methods of body disposal.

Bodies have been tied to the top of large towers

Thrown into the woods to be eaten by animals

Dumped into pits.

And in a couple of cases, launched into the vacuum of space.

Different rituals require family members to spend more or less time with the body, to wrap it in special cloth, or to anoint it with certain oils. 

The Egyptians were widely known for their complex and involved enterrement rituals commonly known as mummification.

The body was first embalmed

The brain was removed

The organs removed and placed in specialized canopic jars 

The body was then dried

Then wrapped which continued to help in the drying process 

Then the body was finally entered, and due to the sandy heat of the desert, the body was often preserved to a great and surprising degree. Egyptians believed that those things you had in life would come with you after death, and so egyptian rulers were entered with great riches and inside grand palaces 

Then of course there is the last ritual which I learned about just recently.

Certain tribal societies will….. Eat…. their dead….

They will eat them….

As in the entire village will get together and consume the corpse in a feast, believing that without this they cannot enter the afterlife.

…..

…

…

…

…

I am going to draft a proposal to the GASC that screaming and profanities should be considered scientifically appropriate when in regards to humans

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Earth is Space Australia, “Storm.”

I think some of you requested something similar a while ago, but I could be wrong. It is a view of humanity from a different species, so I hope you all like it :)

She stared out the viewing window fixated upon the little blue planet with its swirling patterns of cloud cover. It looked peaceful from where she stood, a tranquil drop of blue against the blackness of space, but of course she knew better, this was Earth, and Earth was as volatile a planet more than any she had visited. She had been putting this off for a long time, but as the GA chairwoman, she was obligated to visit the planet of every member of the GA at some point.

She continued to watch as they moved slowly into orbit, the planet growing larger and larger before her showing off its bright brown and green landmasses squished between vast oceans of blue. She shivered thinking about all that water.

The RUndi, coming form a desert planet, had developed ways of living without water-- at least without it directly--if it came in contact with her skin it could cause burns or rashes depending on the concentration.

Admiral Vir had been polite enough to reduce the humidity on his ship, which was preferred by humans, to almost zero for her benefit, but it all scared her badly. There was water everywhere on this ship, kitchen, bathrooms, even speaking to the humans, she was looking into their saline lubricated eyes.

Boots echoed on the floor behind her, and she turned her head to find Admiral Vir stepping up beside her. He was wearing surgical gloves and a mask for her benefit, as humans also tended to shed water from their skin -- not as badly as a groom but still.

“Chairwoman, the shuttle is ready.”

She nodded nervously and followed him up and down the hall watching the human move. There were plenty of bipedal creatures in the GA, but there was something about the way humans did it that just seemed to change things. Of course she could run on two legs, but balance was easy to keep at speed, the rest of the time she used her long front arms to walk on the ground keeping contact with her knuckles They made their way into the docking bay, where a group of humans was waiting for her geared up in their face masks and gloves.

They approached her with a specially made suit.

“What is this?”

“Hazmat suit, ma’am, base says its sunny right now, but it is humid. Not enough to hurt you but the rash would be unpleasant. We advise that you wear this until we get inside.”

She nodded and did as told as Admiral Vir stood by, “We would have flown you into Alexandria but this week of all weeks it decided to rain, so we will bringing you to fort harmony where UNSC has its main headquarters.”

The plastic of the suit felt very strange on her skin as it was zipped up her front.

Admiral Vir helped her pull on a pair of gloves, and then pulled out a roll of duct tape sealing off the end of her sleeves and wrists, doing the same with her feet.

A hood was pulled up around her head, before she was provided with a face shield.

The precautions made her nervous, but she didn’t have much time to think about it as she was ushered onto the shuttle.

She was assured that Admiral vir was one of the best pilots in the galaxy, but she still held hard to her seat as they roared into the atmosphere jostling this way and that in the upper atmosphere. To be honest she did expect their descent to be more violent, and was impressed with the Admiral.

She stared out the window watching as little white clouds billowed past.

Off to their right she could see that massive body of water lapping at the shore as if trying to get in.

She shivered as the shuttle lowered slowly touching down onto a massive tarmac not far away from one of the main buildings. The sky outside was bright and not a cloud lay in sight. A group of men and women waited outside.

The door was opened for her and she was ushered outside onto a tarp which was covered by a line of canopies.

A human she recognized as the GA representative and the UN president walked up along with another human with stars on their sleeves and nodded to her one of them even bowing slightly, “A pleasure to welcome you to earth, Chairwoman.” They said as she stepped outside.

She could feel the heat through her suit, and it felt nice. She was used to the heat.

Looking around nervously, she wasn't entirely sure if she should have been worried. Other than the sky being blue and the ground being green, the planet looked completely normal and not all that malicious.

Admiral Vir stepped into stride beside her as they made their way towards one of the buildings.

They were just passing over another set of tarps about ten feet away from the green ground when there was a sharp hiss and little black spouts shot up out of the ground. She turned yelping just in time to watch as streams of water began sprouting from the nozzles.

One of the humans laughed, “Sorry Chairwoman, I should have thought to turn off the sprinkler system.”

“Sprinkler system.” “The grass needs water too.” 

Swallowing hard she was led inside the building, nd through two sets of double doors. It was almost freezing cold inside and she wrapped her arms around herself uncomfortably until she was led down the hallway and into another room. This room was hot and dry, and she was finally able to relax and pull of her face shield

More humans approached and nodded or bowed to her, “A pleasure, chairwoman. We are sorry you couldn’t see more of our planet, but circumstances permitting it might be best if you remain here.”

She couldn't help but agreeing.

Instead they opted for a virtual tour put together by images from their satellites and cars with cameras. On the big screen before her she was able to see towering mountains and sandy desserts-- with orange instead of blue sand which was so alien and strange-- not to mention great feats of human architecture. The crumbling remains of the colosseum, the rebuilt library at Alexandria,  cathedrals, and carvings, and statues. IT was quite awe inspiring. The humans had far more cultural tradition, and history than she could have thought possible for such a young species.

When given the history of their wars she was stunned at such a history of violence, which could rival only that of the Drev, and certainly rivaled it in their brutality. How they had used nuclear power to destroy civilian populations, how they had used gas that burned the eyes and the lugs, weapons that could cycle deadly rounds at hundreds of bullets per minute, explosives. They even trained other animals to attack their fellow humans. If there was a way to inflict pain on another, the humans had discovered and protected it.

In all of human history this was the first time they had ever been united as a world, and that was only after the Pan-Asian war which had happened during some of these human’s lifetimes.

Admiral Vir admitted that his father had fight in the war, though it was over before he was born.

Looking up at the images of destruction and carnage painted by artisans long past she couldn't help but shake her head. Admiral vir stepped up beside her, “i am lucky…. I grew up in a world that wasn’t at war, a world that was united under one banner. It is the first time in human history where no one has had to live in the shadow of war.

She shook her head bemused and in shock. She had always thought the humans were a bit like the rundy. She knew they had a centralized system of government, but she had never considered it to be so young. He turned to look at her sadly, “I do not expect it to last long.”

With his ominous words, he stepped to the side and she looked to watch him go.

It was a sudden commotion at the far end of the room that got her attention, and she wandered over to where the humans were gathering their voices nervous.

“What is going on?”

The humans turned the looks on their faces rather guilty.

Finally Admiral Vir was the first to speak up, “It seems chairwoman, that earth has decided to have unseasonal weather patterns, and ones that are forming quickly. A tropical storm that was predicted to stay out at sea has moved up the cost and is heading towards us.”

“We have to get the chairwoman out of here,”  one of the humans announced, and she couldn’t help but agree.

Admiral Vir nodded and motioned her to follow as she put on her facemask.

They made their way down the hall and the door was open. Past him she could see a gathering set of massive black clouds. It was like nothing she had ever seen the wall of clouds so high that they flattened out at the top as if they had reached the ceiling of their height. Admiral Vir stepped out onto the tarmac, and just as he did there was a sharp gust of wind so powerful that it ripped one of the canopies loose.

Admiral vir was obscured for a second as the canopy ripped past,and when it was gone he was on the ground holding up his hand against the wind. A few others rushed out to help him.

“Get the chairwoman back inside.” He ordered walking back into the hallway and looking down at his upper arm.

His uniform had been sliced open on the bicep, and a thin line of red was just visible.

She was scared now.

Two men shut the doors, tugging against an aggressive wind as the other canopies were tugged from the ground.

As she watched, the ground suddenly began sprouting little black spots. She had no idea what it was for the longest time, until her brain finally caught up with what her eyes were seeing.

It was raining.

In horror she stepped back from the door.

It had rained once on the capital city in Irus in living memory. Corpses had lined the street in the dozens and so it had been named. The day of the falling.

Admiral Vir rested his gloved hand on her shoulder, “We should get you further inside.” He suggested 

“Your arm?”

“I’m alright. I got unlucky and it caught me by an edge.”

The wind was kicking up even more and she swore she could almost hear it. By the time they had made it back to the safe room, she watched in horror as sheets of rain came thundering down from above. Great puddles and rivulets were beginning to form on the ground running down the streets like rivers.

The humans themselves seemed fine, unless they looked at her, in which cases they seemed very worried. She cowered in a corner watching great pooling of water pour from the sky and rush down the windows.

Admiral Vir came to sit next to her, his arm having been treated.

The rain seemed to go on forever battering against the window as the wind tossed it closer. The sound was thunderous, and roaring. 

Admiral Vir was doing his best to keep her calm and had produced a deck of cards from what seemed like nowhere. He was teaching her how to play a game the humans called golf and had even invited some of the other humans over to join in. It was mostly a game of chance though there was some strategy required. She lost the first round but was pleased to make it through the second with the least amount of points

It was just then that the entire room was lit up b a horrendous flash of light and a sudden eruption that seemed to rend the walls. She screamed and the lights around them went out. The ground below her shook and in stunned desperation she reached out to make sure she was still alive.

Rundi have poor night vision, and the room appeared very dark, only silhouettes against the pale grey light filtering in from outside.

“What was that!” she squealed.

There was a click, and a flash of light lit up a circle around her. She could see the Admiral’s face lit by under beams of light, “Lightning strike must have taken out the power.”

“Lightning, you mean this is an electrical storm.”

“It’s the east coast, Ma’am it's always an electrical storm. Nothing to worry about though, the backup generators should be kicking on soon.”

Even as he said those words the lights overhead flickered on though they were somewhat dimmer than before. Rain still thrashed the window outside.”

“You grew up like this.” She said incredulously cowering back against the wall.

Admiral Vir shook his head, ‘No ma’am. I’m From central Mericanda, we get earthquakes and blizzards that stack snow in up to six foot drifts.”

“Snow?” She asked having heard the word at one point but forgetting what it meant.

“Frozen water, it falls from the sky in crystal flakes all fluffy, but it is very cold and it can kill you if you aren't careful.

She shook her head incredulous.

“Death Valley or the Sahara might have been a better option I am thinking.” Admiral Vir said, and the others nodded in agreement.

They sat in the dimness for a little longer listening to the rain and the lightning, and she was sort of beginning to relax with the realization that the storm was outside, when another loud noise jarred her from her peace.

IT was loud, very loud, a wailing which rose in pitch, then dropped back down and rose again. Lights flashed overhead.

Admiral Vir lifted his head as did the others, and the looks on their faces scared her more than anything had yet that day.

The humans were frightened.

“What is that!” 

Admiral Vir turned to look at her, “It's a Tornado Siren.”

All along the walls she watched in wide-eyed shock as great metal shutters clamped down over the windows, blocking her view of the outside. The lights dimmed even further.

“We have to get the chairwoman to the bunker.” Admiral Vir was saying 

“A tornado? What is a Tornado?”

Admiral vir caught her by the hand and led her towards the hallway, “We have to go.”

“Admiral!”

He kept going dragging her out into the hall where metal shutters were continuing to slam shut. The sound of the rain grew in intensity until it was almost deafening as if large rocks were being showered down on them.

“Hail.” The man said 

“Hail?”

“Chunks of ice falling from the sky.”

“What!”

The entire building seemed to shake around them as groups of men and woman ran up and down the halls vanishing into interior rooms and charging down stairs into the basement.

They moved along the hall for a little while when she heard the wind kick up.

Evidently the Admiral did too as he dragged her into another interior room, which turned out to be a some sort of closet.

He pushed her down onto the floor.

“Cover your head.” He ordered.

She did as told covering her head as he tipped objects from the shelves and onto the floor, pulling the shelves off as he did. Soon there was nothing over their heads at all. She pressed into the corner and he knelt in front of her one green eye wide in concern.

“You never told me what a tornado was.”

He grimaced, “it is a spiraling vortex of wind that can reach up to 300 miles per hour. They can be many yards wide and reach up into the clouds. They are capable of ripping buildings in half.”

She went very quiet, and outside the wind intensified.

The building around them began to shake.

In that moment she watched as the human leaned over her, bracing his arms against the wall and covering his head, but using as much of his body as possible to protect her, like a human shield of bone and flesh.

Something shattered and there was a loud cracking noise as metal slammed against metal.

The building shook even more violently.

Fear rose up inside her the likes of which she had never seen.

Overhead the ceiling tiles began to fall breaking across the human’s back and erupting into pisces on the floor.

She could see the exposed wiring past the space between the human’s arms.

A roaring echoed through the hallway, and more tiles fell from above. The human hunched closer until she couldn’t see anything past his body and the glittering metals on the breast of his uniform.

This went on for several log minutes. Long minutes in which she was sure she would perish.

But then, all went suddenly quiet.

It was an eerie quiet and for the longest time she wasn’t sure what had gone on, and then the admiral backed up, shaking dust from his hair.

When he stood, she could see another small spot of blood high on one of his shoulders.

He had…. Protected her, from that.

He smiled, “Sounds like it’s over.”

Outside in the hall she could hear others moving around, and standing behind him she walked out into the hall running into the UN president who looked rather frazzled.

The entire hallway was dotted with tiles fallen from the ceiling, and one of the metal shields seemed rather ent, but the building didn’t look much the worse for ware.

“Did it hit us?” Admiral vir wondered.

“Yeah it hit the south west corner and then skirted up and around.”

“Any casualties.”

“No, everyone was safe inside and the storm shutters held as planned.” 

She turned to look at the chairwoman, “Once upon a time that might have been a lot worse than it was, but our technology is improving every year.”

The Chairwoman shook her head in awe not sure what to say.

One thing was for sure though, she wanted off this planet. She understood humans better than she ever had at this moment. She knew why they were so tough, brave and fearless. Any creature that had to live their lives fighting against their own planet for survival was best kept on the GA side.

She glanced up at Admiral Vir, who was wiping blood from behind one ear.

Brave.

Risking his own life like that to protect her.

What a species.

What a planet.

She didn’t want to visit ever again.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Combat.”

Wrote  this one in response to requests that I do more of Krill’s medical journals. I hope this is what you wanted to see 

To the: Intergalactic Journal of Medical Biology 

Humanity is a young species around 204,000 years old in their current modern iteration. While there have been many types of humanoid animals on their planet, The Homo Sapien Sapien as they are known scientifically and the only sub-type of human that remain having about .6% genetic variation between them despite their  range of color, height, and shape which has been openly observed by all nonhuman species.

In comparison to the Vurl or the rundi, humanity is a relatively young species still containing many of their more animalistic tendencies in comparison to species who have had more time to evolve into their sentient states. For this reason the examination of this paper revolves around human aggression, and defence. In many animals we see behaviors designed to defend or attack, either out of fear, protection or in order to impress a mate. Humans, being a sentient species use many different techniques to deal with this issue, but one of the techniques that might be considered most primitive, is their contact fighting.

Like how tall horns headbutt each other and longwings lock talons, humans have developed the ability to use their body as a weapon to the detriment of other humans. This practice has likely existed since the beginning of humanity, though through the years, and as humanity evolved, their refined and discovered different ways of -- as to use a human expression-- “Beat the shit ouf of each other..”

In more recent years this primitive form of agress, though still used to its intended purpose, has been made into a sport.

In other words humans hit each other for fun and they let other watch.

Some of these techniques include.

The slap- One of the oldest forms of human aggression which involves striking someone, across the face usually, with an open palm.

The punch- Similar to the first bud done with a closed fists, often puts the bones of the hands at risk, but puts more power into a smaller space, when the hips and legs are used through kinetic linking, the entire power of the body can come out through the hand.

The gouge- Humans do not have claws, but with the hand open and fingers slightly bent, they can use the hard keratin at the end of their fingers to inflict scratches and gouges on an opponent 

The kick- as if hitting people with your arms wasn't enough, now they have to hit people with their feet and shins. On a side note some humans punch and kick wooden poles to make their bones stronger! Yes then INTENTIONALLY inflict pain on themselves, causing MICRO FRACTURES in their own bones just so they can hit people HARDER.

The elbow - jamming the bony junction of their arm into other peoples faces, as it seems there is a location on the elbow without nerve endings, and so does not cause so much pain to the hitter but concentrates the weight on the end of a very strong bone.

The knee- similar to the elbow but with the junction of the leg. Usually aimed towards the upper abdomen, where the liver is located, because your opponents internal organs be damned.

These are the simple basics of human combat, those things that all humans have ingrained into them as instinct, however of course over time humans have developed more painful ways of hurting each other

The round kick- like kicking but with the extra step of spinning around really fast to gain momentum, is usually aimed at the face, because using your foot to hit someone in the face after spinning is SOOOO LoGiCaL 

The choke - can be done in many ways, but the general principles is if your opponent can’t breathe, than they cant win, bonus points if you crush their windpipe in the process because whoo hoo for murder.

The blood choke- its like choking accept the general principal is if no blood is going to your brain than you can’t live, so just squish the carotid arteries a little bit, not like they need those anyway 

The figure 4 choke - Choking someone like a blood choke but with your thighs because why the hell not

The Americana lock- They will submit if you screw up their joints especially the shoulder and the elbow because who the hall needs those.

An armbar - just lay your feet over their chest, grab their arm and put the elbow over your pelvis, now when you arch your back your can break their elbow joint backwards. So effective that your opponent will probably quite and give up screaming before you manage to actually do anything.

Body slam- yeah throwing your opponent to the floor violently and then falling on top of them might just work to make them regret knowing you.

Pile Driver, kind of like a body slam, accept you also use your elbow. Do you hate someone in particular? Do they need their ribcage cracked open like an egg? This might just be the technique for you 

Man of these techniques are used in combat sports, some of them for more theatrical use, but the principle remains the same. Now there are a few techniques that are generally prohibited rom fighting sports.

Head butting - why the HELL would you even think of this. Yeah I’ll just hit my head against their head that ShOuLdN’t hURt at ALl. Should work just PERFECTLY 

Groin Kick - the human imperative to survive is so aggressive that a single kick to their reproductive organs can send them into full shutdown mode, and this includes breathing problems, potential vomiting and crying like a baby

Biting - Here have all of my transmissible diseases, that should make you regret your entire life. I hope your arm gets infected and falls off 

Eye gouging - can fight me IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR EYES 

Curb Stomp - Just set someone’s chin up on a curb and then KICK THEM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD.

WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS ARE YOU PEOPLE! My list Isn’t even finished!

MY LIST

 ISN'T 

EVEN 

FINISHED!

Why does humanity have to be so scary HHHHHRRRAAAGGGGG!

From the editing department at the: Intergalactic journal of medical biology

Dr. Krill,

We regret to inform you that your scholarly paper has been rejected for improper scholarly vocabulary, neglect to operationally define non-common language, use of onomatopoeia, and WhAtEvEr ThIs Is. Please review your submission and resubmit it to our review team. We appreciate your dedication to science.

Sincerely,

The Review Team.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Martial Arts.”

Had this lined up for today based on two requested ideas given to me by readers. I hope you like it and have a great day!

“I think you’re really going to like this.”

“So I assume it involves beating the ever-loving shit out of someone.” 

Adam grinned, “Exactly.”

Sunny cheered and Krill sighed, “Why do you two always insist on having the most violent pastimes.”

“I promise today is ALSO educational. Now stop being a stick in the mud. I am sure you will find use for yourself today.”

Krill sighed but allowed them to continue on. The Admiral was wearing a duffel bag over one shoulder, and the tennis shoes he was wearing, alone with the shots suggested that he intended to participate in some sort of physical activity. The same shades of blue light flickered over his prosthetic leg and those that licked over hers, and even from here, he could hear the soft whirring of the machine.

Sunny craned her neck at the city around them trying to figure out where they were being taken, and neither of them figured it out until the admiral cut right and shouldered open the door to a large building. 

Stepping inside they were greeted with a waft of warm, humid air. The ground under their feet was squishy, made of some sort of synthetic material, and all around the room humans in various stages of physical activity dominated the landscape.

The predominant sound was that of flesh impacting padded bags as humans -- both bare knuckled -- and wearing padded gloves punched and kicked and violently strove to beat the ever loving shit out of inanimate hanging objects. Krill wanted in surprise and -- what would have been horror if he wasn’t so used to being appalled-- as two humans sparred together in a ring lined with three large ropes.

They were padded, with gloves and face masks and helmets of some sort, but that gave them free reign to punch and kick each other silly, until one of the humans grabbed the other by the arm and flipped backwards throwing them both to the ground with a violent thud.

Across the room, humans wearing strange white uniforms tied with colorful belts moved in synchronization to the call of a master. He'd punch and then kick and then block venting air by way of shouts.

Sunny turned in a tight circle, her eyes wide as they fell on another padded platform, this time in an octagonal shape, and bounded by a chain link energy cage.

Inside two women were roused to blood, fighting with nothing but barely padded gloves and the clothes on their back.

One of the women managed to throw the other to the ground and for a second they were a mass of tangled limbs before she had her arms around the other’s neck squeezing tight. Krill stepped forward but a sharp tap on the arm of one woman to the other caused the winner to let go, and the fighters to return to their feet, one rubbing her soar neck..

“What is this place?” Sunny asked, in absolute awe

Adam grinned, “This, my fine friend is what humans call a dojo. Not exactly sure where the word comes from per say, but I am pretty sure it originated in asia more than two thousand years ago and basically means a location where people train in the art of hand to hand combat. 

Sunny turned her head again eyes wide as another two men grappled each other to the floor hands gripping onto each other’s uniforms tugging and pulling and trying to swipe with their feet.

“It all looks so… different.”

Adam nodded, “That's because it is. There are hundreds of different fighting systems developed by humanity over the years, sort of like how you have different spear stances in your culture fire versus water, accept these ones work on different principals.

He motioned to the square ring, “Boxing for instance focuses a lot of its attention on punches specifically. Historically the rules required that you couldn't use elbows knees or kicks, and your punches had to land above the belt, or at least that’s what I remember. He turned to point at the other side of the room where the men and women in white were still busy in their forms. Stuff like Karate Kung Fu and others are sort of more about forms and techniques. I would say that that sort of fighting is more of a philosophy or a way of life than anything, and very ancient.”

He then turned to look at the two men still wrestling on the floor, “Then there is Jiu Jitsu, a form of combat that relies on submission and grappling. USe the weakness of an enemies body against them, use their weight, use the weakness of their wrists and elbows and knees and neck. Jiu Jitsu is likely to always end up on the ground. It is similar to wrestling, though wrestling requires than you pin the other person’s shoulders to the ground.

Krill turned to look at Sunny’s face and would have rolled his eyes at the giddy expression she had if it weren't for his inability to actually roll his eyes.

“Why are there so many types?’

Adam paused tapping his chin, “Well, humanity has always been working to find a system that works best. In many cases it started with a philosophy of some kind. IN certain cases it was poise, or focus or any number of things. Monks dedicated their entire lives to the mastery and perfection of a single art of combat. In a way it was almost like meditation that could be used in times of need. Some martial arts required steal or quick movement which spawned stuff like Ninjitsu and still live son in spots like parkour despite it not being a combat sport.”

He lend them further into the room, “A lot of them spawned out of the fact that humans just love to fight, we love to see who is physically better. It made it’s way to the olympics, and then into popular culture. Wrestling, while a great athletic endeavor was just as much a theater production as it was anything else and requires an understanding between two parties to put on the most dramatic show possible.”

He walked over a few feet pausing before the octagon, “Then someone had the idea of what would happen if you put the different martial arts up against each other in a contest of who is better hence Mixed Martial Arts fought in an octagon just like this. At first practitioners of one discipline were pitted against each other to see who was better.” He rested his hand against one of the braces, “In the end it ended up weeding out a lot of the older forms of martial arts which were more a form of art than actual fighting. Philosophy wasn’t exactly helpful in the octagon, and many of the flashier forms, while they looked cool in practice turned out to be impractical in the ring.

He dropped his bag to the floor, reaching in to take out a pair of gloves, “The idea became that the more brutal straight to the point contact sports were most superior.”

Sunny crossed her arms, “So what is it, which martial art is more superior?”

Adam grinned, “That’s the catch… all of them are.”

“What do you mean.”

“All of them are assuming you put them together. Fighters that were well versed in multiple styles of fighting were the most victorious.” he fell into a standard human fighting posture feet shoulder width one foot before the other hands up and loose before his face neck down, “If you can punch like a boxer, Kick like a Muay Thai fighter, grapple like a Jiu Jitsu master and put all of it together, you may have more than a chance of winning.” he patted the side of the cage, “The general consensus is that the best kind of fighting is one that doesnt just take focus from one discipline, it is someone who can take the best things from all the disciplines and put them together all at once.”

Sunny looked on rather hungrily at the ring.

“Let’s do it.”

He grinned back, “I thought you might be interested.

Krill just shook his head and backed away, leave it to the drev and the human to find one of the most dangerous pastimes in the world. Who would have thought that philosophy could span a better way to kick the shit out of someone.

Kril Turned his head to look around the room and was surprised at all the thighs he saw. He may not have agreed with the martial arts necessarily, but there was something to be said about the variety, and the sort of human that came out of it. The men and women he could see practicing were, without a doubt some of the fittest humans he had ever laid eyes on, and he spent his time with a crew that wasn’t likely to shirt their physical health.

Men and women alike glistened with lean muscle sharp and prominent against their sweat glazed skin. Hands punched bags over and over and over again. In certain cases he watched as men and women kicked wooden poles repeatedly ramming their shins against the unforgiving surface their faces barely showing any hint of pain,

The feats of acrobatics which they managed, and the way they utilized their center of gravity was astonishing. He saw a five foot woman throw a two hundred pound man over her head simply by throwing herself to her back and kicking the other man over.

While weight and size seemed to matter to some degree there were a few humans here who didn’t seem to care.

Sunny and Adam were on the other side of the room Adam explaining the idea of kinetic linking to sunny, how by moving your body, you could force the power from your feet, all the way up through your legs hips and back and into a single punch making it more powerful.

Krill could see, on a physiological standpoint where that was true.

He even watched for a few sessions as Sunny and Adam went a few rounds Adam winning a surprising amount of times for someone who was so small, but often using the techniques that Krill was seeing around the room.

It was only after they had taken a break and were gearing up to go again that Krill noticed another human walk onto the floor. He was an older human, the pigment having faded from his hair long ago, bleaching him silver. Despite that, the man had the body of someone half his age, lean and sinuous, veins crawling up his arms like the vines of a tree.

Adam was just pulling on his gloves when the man stepped up.

“Excuse me, son.”

Adam lifted his head standing when the man approached, “Can I help you.”

The man set down his bag. Based on his voice, the man was clearly an older gentlemen though Krill had trouble guessing. Either way he had the opinion that this guy probably should take it easier than this palace suggested.

“I hate to ask, but My sparring partner is sick today, and I was wondering if you might consider a round or two. You look spry enough.”

Adam blinked in surprise but then shrugged, “Yeah sure I guess.” The way his ione eye traveled over the man suggested he was having the same thoughts as krill. He seemed like he was a bit too old to be doing something like this. Krill worried that he could potential break or tear something , but no one said a word as the man set down his bag and took a few minutes to stretch.

Krill was a bit more than surprised at the flexibility of the old man who managed a full split in both directions after warming up.

Adam seemed a little less sure of himself upon seeing that.

He definitely could not do that.

The old guy’s face was lined with delicate wrinkles through the skin, the body becoming less taught with age, but when the two of them hopped up into the ring, the older man seemed just as energetic as Adam, which seemed surprising.

No matter though, as old as he was, he would probably tire pretty easily.

“What do you say, no crotch shots and no eye gouging.” Adam announced and the old man agreed as they moved into position.

Krill and Sunny came to the side of the cage to watch as the two men squared off.

Adam kept his hands a bit relaxed, still guarded but not too concerned.

The older man didn’t keeping tight and low as they circled for a bit.

“You’ll want to keep up your guard, son.” The man chided, and adam smiled but pulled his hands in tighter.

Krill tapped his fingers.

Sunny smirked as if she knew something he didn’t

They exchanged a few blows, Adam going eas and the old guy, well being old and slow as Krill had expected. Adam’s guard began to drop again, and then all of a sudden out of absolutely nowhere there was a sharp blur of motion and a loud THWACK. 

Adam hit the ground hard dazed and confused as the old man stood over him.

Sunny ohhhhed in absolute glee.

Krill hissed in pain.

Adam had just been round kicked to the head.

“I told you to keep your guard up.” The old man said, reaching down a hand to help Adam to his feet, “probably also a good idea not to underestimate senior citizens.”

Adam rubbed his head, “Ok, ok I deserved that. Let's go another round.”

“You sure, you got your memory jogged kind of hard there.”

Adam shook himself and squared back up, his guard tight this time, “bring it on grandpa.”

The old man smiled and fell back into his stance. This time Adam was not smoking, and his expression was hard as he stared at the old man. Adam came forward with a jab which the man blocked and they exchanged a few punches catching each other only grazing blows as they hit. 

Adam got a kick to the upper leg,, the old man took a body shot that should have downed him, but by the staggering way Adam moved to the side suggested he had kicked something as hard as a brick wall.

The old man moved forward and the two of them were suddenly head to head, hands gripping shoulders, fingers digging into shirts, before any of them knew what happened Adam was thrown to the ground his wrist held tightly in the other man’s hands,

He tried to get up but the old man leaped down after him throwing his legs over Adams chest and positioning his elbow over his hips.

He arched his back subtly which had Adam tapping one of his legs frantically.

He let go and the two disengaged.

Sunny cheered.

Adam rubbed his elbow, “Armbar?”

The old man smiled, “I’m old boy, not an invalid.”

Adam raised an eyebrow, “I can see that. How about another round.”

With a teasing smile the old human winked a grey eye, “Only if you want to get beat again.”

Adam snorted, “yeah not so sure about that.” he squared up, “Besides, today’s early bird special is on a knuckle sandwich.”

The old man wiggled his head mockingly, “Oh a wise guy eh.”

Once Upon a time Krill would have assumed they were being aggressive in their words, but the cadence and the smiles on their faces assured him that, despite their actions, this was a friendly fight.

And how strange it was to see someone like the old man holding up so well against someone less than twice his age. By all rights Adam should have beaten him easily, but this old human despite his looks was more than what he appeared. Krill was going to have to do some more research on human aging processes, for there was something he felt he was missing.

The two had squared up again, dancing around in a circle as they came in repeatedly for attacks. Adam tried to get the upper hand with a sudden flurry of blows but the old man weathered it using precision to his advantage with precis body shots that had Adam packing off huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

At some point Adam did something neither of them had ever see, grabbing the man under his arms and turning, flipping the man over the fulcrum of his hips and sending him flowing into the ground. Adam jumped after trying to claim full mount but the old man somehow flipped him to the side and reversed it catching Adam around the back of the neck with a forearm.

The flat of his forearm went across Adam’s throat, his legs wrapped around his middle, and his opposite hand grabbed onto his wrist. As he squeezed, he also elongated his body..

Krill stepped forward hand out afraid the man was going to pop his cervical spine apart until Adam tapped falling to the ground with a grunt.

“Ok ok, ONE more time.” Adam said wobbling to his feet

The old man followed after grinning, “Whatever you say.”

This last fight went much like the one before it. An exchange up top and a sudden move onto the ground, though this time the man trapped adam using his legs, thighs constricting around the side of his neck.

Adam was still breathing just fine, until his body slumped to the side.

Krill leaped forward in shock and confusion thinking that the man had somehow injured his neck, killed him. But almost as soon as the man let go Adam twitched and then sat up looking groggy.

“What the.”

“You were supposed to tap before passing out.”

Adam rubbed his head, “Was that a triangle choke… didn’t even feel like I was choking.”

Krill stormed forward, “What happened! Adam are you alright. Do I need to call the police.”

Adam waved him off, “It was a blood choke krill, he temporarily cut off blood supply to my brain, no big deal.”

“No big deal!” Krill shreakied, “How is it having blood in your brain NOT a big deal.’

Sunny cheered with glee behind Krill’s protests leaping up into the ring and towards the old man, “Can you teach me.”

The old man seemed surprised, but agreed and glanced oer at Adam, “Someone needs some extra lessons anyway.”

Adam snorted and rolled his eyes but otherwise took it with good humor.

Krill sat fuming in the corner.

Humans, frigging humans always finding ways to hurt themselves. Crushing each other’s windpipes and cutting off carotid arteries, and bending joints that weren't supposed to be bent, and all for what because it was FUN to look STRONGER. He couldn't believe this.

Stupid 

Stupid humans.

He was going to have to tell someone. He was going to have to rant.

He was…..

Probably going to write an academic paper, though he was going to be angry while doing it. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “I Have Seen.”

Wrote something easy and more similar to my original stories today. I hope you like it. 

I have been thinking about taking a couple days off from writing these stories, since I have been working non stop on this and the book for over a year now, so I am considering taking a break for about a week so I don’t burn out. I haven’t decided yet, so we shall see, but I hope you all have a great day.

I have a job no one knows about.

I don’t think anyone would be surprised if they heard about my job. I don’t even think they would care all that much.

None of this explains why my work station is in the basement of a nondescript government bunker on a death planet…. A!36. I can’t explain why I need three codes to get into my office, or why I go through five locked doors, or why I am not allowed to tell anyone what I do on pain of termination and imprisonment. 

You would assume, perhaps that I am a spy, and involved in some covert cloak and dagger espionage against other species and nations: you would be wrong.

You might assume I am a weapons developer, but you would also be wrong.

Perhaps you think I spend my time wire-tapping on important calls between species and recording important information.

None of this is really the case.

In fact, what I do is quite safe and relatively simple, plenty of other non-humans are doing it of their own accord and plenty more humans do it on a regular basis. What I do is not illegal, it is not espionage, it wouldn’t even phase you.

If that is the case.

Why do so many of my coworkers go missing?

Why are there absent desks every few months?

Why can I not make any lasting friends?

Management always give excuses to those of us who are left.

They left for mental health reasons.

THey moved on to a different job.

They are moving up in the company.

They had to be let go.

All things generic and all things that wouldn’t generally raise suspicion… unless they happen so frequently as us.

You may be wondering at this point, what it is I do for a job.

Perhaps, you think, it is very boring and unfulfilling that I would go insane from sheer boredom.

No, I actually find my job quite interesting.

Perhaps you think my job forces me to watch very disturbing and violent things…. And I suppose that could be close to the truth, though no one forces us to watch the videos if we don’t want, and no one makes us read the material if we cannot handle it. In fact, there are those of us who specialize in that sort of thing.

I do.

I am a specialist in historical xenopsychology.

I study human history.

When I say that I study human history, I do not mean as in a passing fancy. I do not simply read their school children’s textbooks and accept everything I see as truth, no, every day , I come into work and it is my job, to learn about everything that has ever happened in human history, to the best of my ability.

It is my job to know the good, the bad, the ugly, and the monstrous.

I work from day to night, cataloguing and filling my brain with all the information I can before recording it as a lecture on aura drives, which are then stored away for future use in a deep backup system under the surface of this planet.

I have followed human history since the beginning of time.

And I have marveled at it.

Much of my research is flawed, I know. Human history has always been biased, history being shaped and molded by the winners of conflict. Much of what else I know stems primarily from scholarly work humans have done on their own species, looking back the centuries and making assumptions about what they were doing.

While this is a good insite -- humans trying to explain the behavior of other humans-- it isn’t necessarily correct.

For this reason, it is my job to study every piece of information that comes across my desk.

Due to a government agreement between the galactic assembly and the United Nations of Earth, I was given access to the rebuilt library of Alexandria and all of its electronic files which include photos and information on the original documents that they keep in sealed vaults below the library.

I have read every account of human history, and every second hand interpretation of human history that I could possibly find in my time working here.

I have read Darwin and his early theory regarding evolution. I have examined his evidence, which include images and diagrams of the human body spanning centuries. My determinations were made just the same as the rest of them. Humanity was a tree-living species that found its evolutionary niche through walking and the use of opposable thumbs.

This ability to walk, in tandem with the use of hands eventually gave rise to the slow swelling of the brain in comparison to other animals. Human evolved primitive tools, and even more primitive religions, societies and rules.

They developed art early on, painting on the walls of their caves, in the darkness of night surrounded by their fires.

I have read about their befriending of animals in that same darkness. Man’s slow molding of the wolf into the dog - a species designed specifically for the needs of man.

I have attempted to read every account of every atrocity ever inflicted on humanity.

I have read of wars, and battles, Marathon, Thermopylae, Kadesh, D-day, Vietnam, Korea, Russo-Japanese, World wars I, II, III,  and IV and the Panasian War. 

I have witnessed in images and first hand accounts the chilling discoveries of natural disasters gone back thousands of years. Pompeii, Mt. St Helens, Katrina, Tsunamis, earthquakes, the fire of london, 1887 yellow river flood, the 3130 California earthquake, and Haiti earthquakes. 

And I have studied and witnessed every atrocity man has ever committed on its own people. The Mongol hordes, the crusades, Mayan and Aztec sacrifices, The Armenian genocide, the Holocaust, mustard gas, 9/11, slavery in the America, the Trail of Tears, The Bataan Death March, the Berlin wall, Civil war, the French revolution, Nanjing, Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

I tore a hole in humanity and looked inside to see your rot. 

I study the maggots that crawl under your skin.

Don’t confuse me with someone who fears you, or is even disgusted by you. You have committed thousands of horrors, yes this is true. But humanity is not a polished gem, it is an uncut stone marred by dirt and debris, but beautiful in a way that can hardly be explained.

You scrub away the rot only to find more underneath, yet you continue to scrub, in a futile attempt to better yourselves.

It is a beautiful thing if not in vain.

I do not judge you for your crimes because I have also seen your achievements. I watched you survive  the dark ages, I learned your philosophy from the greek world which brought the beauty of democracy and equity in later forms. I watched the enlightenment of the Renaissance, and have seen your beautiful artwork from each period of time. 

I have witnessed your great nations and empires rise and fall, Assyria, Byzantine, Rome, Britain, Egypt, Mongole, Aztek, Soviet Union, The chinese Dynasties and the Communist parties. The United States, and the Asian Co-Prosperity Collective

I have seen your bravery and your loss.

I have learned about the good that walks your earth.

Humans who stood up to tyrants.

I have even examined your stories of creation, of deities who molded humans from clay or dust, watched your world come into form in seven days, or ride on the backs of giant animals. I have seen the gods gift you with fire and learned the teaching of your martyrs over the centuries. Men and women slain and stoned or pulled away by spirits. I have learned of crucifixion, death and rebirth as well as reincarnation and a return to the very fabric of the universe itself.

I see everything.

I see everything. I see it all in my dreams laid out before me like a tapestry following each woven thread through the ages. I thought if I looked back, I could know as much as I possibly could. If I dug deep enough, I would be able to see your secrets.

And I have discovered you.

I see you hiding in there.

I know what you are.

Come out, come out.

And I won’t stop until it is all over and your cities crumbled into dust and bone.

…

…

I am being called into my manager’s office. Perhaps I too am ready to go up in the company.

...

I will be back soon…

Deus 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Earth is Space Australia, “Plagues of Earth.”

I finally got to write an earth is space Australia ft. (Australia) lol. I hope you guys have fun, i enjoyed making this, though I had less time than I wanted to elaborate. 

Also inspired by a cover of “The Plagues of Egypt” Done by Johnathan Young in a heavy metal style. I would suggest listening to it when you think about this piece. 

Also, sorry if I said anything inaccurate about anyone’s country. I had less than two hours and a quick google search for facts 

“Their planetary defense is strong, but they prepare for battle on a large scale.If we bring our troops to the surface in small drop ships, and lead their military carriers away by attacking their nearby colony. We will take the planet.”

“What would be the point of this?”

“Humanity is held up as deity by the rest of the galaxy. As long as they fight, the GA fights with them. But if we destroy them, crush their planet at the source, then we crush the morale of the rest of the galaxy.”

“Where do we drop out soldiers?”

“Everywhere, on every major landmass, near every major city. But we do it quietly, drop them into the wilderness first so the humans won’t see them coming.” 

“If we can defeat the humans, we can defeat them all.”

***

Location: Upper-Mid Merianda (Previous US/Canada border rocky mountain region) 

The burg landed in the thick forests of the north. The human planet was lush and green, and the temperature was moderate, though it leaned slightly towards cold under the canopy of branches. There were sounds everywhere, the chattering of wildlife and strange flying creatures flitting through the trees. The nearest human residence was not far off, maybe a ten cycle march down hill.

They would reach it in no time, and make their sneak attack.

Their team commander barked his commands to the following Burg soldiers and together they began making their way down the hill.

None of them noticed when things began to go wrong.

They had never been to earth, and so were not aware of the sudden silence in the forest that comes before a coming storm.

You see, the Burg are similar to the Iotans, in that they give off a pungent smell. Not so pungent as it tends to affect humans, but pungent enough to affect the nearby wildlife. A wildlife that was not pleased with their presence.

It might have been fine, if they hadn’t stumbled into the den.

It started with a light squeaking. A sound that gave them pause as they looked around for the source. One of the burg pushed aside a green fern to reveal a hole dug into the embankment. He would have investigated if it weren’t for the loud piercing howl that echoed through the trees just to their right.

They all leaped upright in confusion and fear backing into a circle.

Another howl pierced the forest from their left, another form their right. Until they were surrounded by the sound. Shapes flitted through the trees, furry on all fours and hunched.

A howl from directly behind them.

They spun in place.

As the wolf leaped from the top of the embankment her teeth flashing.

As it turns out wolf pups are fond of Burg flesh

***

New Brazilia (Somewhere in what was once central Brazil, Border rain forest district)

This was the perfect climate, nice warm, dark and moist, shady below the trees that towered overhead in great twisting arcs. The foliage below them was very thick and hard to cut through as they made their way towards the human colonies. This was surely going to be their element, and they laughed at the idea of making the humans suffer as they waded their way through the trees.

The ground before them opened revealing an embankment on the side of a river. There was a hole in the foliage here, and the ground was dry. The burg stepped down onto this spot, their feet crunching slightly in the dirt.

One of them slapped absently at one of it’s segmented legs, brushing away a small insect that had crawled onto its body. Another party member did the same.

One of them even shrieked in pain, “It bit me!”

They looked down brushing the little black bugs off their bodies, only to find that the ground was absolutely swarming with them. One of the Burg shrieked, and tried to run his entire body now covered with hundreds of these little black creatures, however he tripped and fell onto his face.

His entire body was black.

The others began to scream as well, swatting at their bodies and their weapons falling to the riverbed as they were overrun by a massive troop of army ants.

They would never make their destination.

***

United Slavic  Districts (North/eastern Russia)

This forest was both humid and somewhat cold. It was early morning in the summer, and yet frost still built up on the leaves of the plants overhead. The burg weren’t particularly pleased about this, but they were going to have to deal with it.

It was best to keep moving at times like this, and they hurried their way through thick banks of early morning fog towards the not-to-distant human civilization. Their feet were nearly silent over the frosty forest floor dirt compressing under foot.

They had been walking for some minutes when they heard the sound. A strange mournful cry from the woods almost like the cry of a human infant, though slightly deeper. THe sound made them excited. Where they were infants there were likely humans. And who knows that could be a human noise.

They followed the sound looking about the foggy forest.

The noise came again, so close.

Ah, and there it was, though they were disappointed to find it was not a human at all, but  two fuzzy brown animals no bigger than waist height. They were so small, so pathetic and pitiful and they cried out in terror when the burg approached.

One of the burg raised it’s weapon angry.

The bellow came echoing through the trees rending the very air around them and sending birds scattering into the sky.

The burg turned on their heels as the massive brown bear came charging out of the forest bellowing her teeth flashing.

As it seemed the great land, of what was once, Russia was not pleased with their presence.

***

East Trans African Belt (former Ethiopia)

It was hot and dry, and the burg didn’t like it. But at least the ground was mostly flat, and the dirt was easy to navigate. Tall grasses raised to either side of the shallow river just to their left. Animals grunted off in the distance and the sky above was bright and blue. Dust rose up from their feet as they made their way towards the edge of the river, hoping that the water would help to moisten up the air around them.

The grunting grew louder.

They glanced over seeing large bulbous shapes in the water. It didn’t much matter to them, and they mostly ignored the creatures, knowing that anything that big was likely to be equally slow. They were making their way up the riverbank now, and the creatures rested in the water just to their side.

Distant grunting grew louder.

One of the burg was standing just next to the bank now when the water exploded casing great droplets into the air as the Hippo burst from the river mouth open wide at it’s four foot extension and bit down upon the unsuspecting burg dragging him violently into the water.

The others tried to run, slipped on the mud, and were set upon by the rest of the family.

***

Southern Indasia (India) 

The river bank was calm, nothing but floating logs out on the distant water. One of the burg officers was listening to her communications.  There were reports form all across the human’s home planet, that many of their parties had gone radio silent. She wasn’t entirely sure what that could mean but it worried her. Many of them had been traveling along river pathways just like her and her group, and she wondered if that had anything to do with their current situation.

One of the young burg stood at the edge of the water kicking stones into its murky green depths.

“We should definitely move along  from this area.” She was saying moving back up the bank and towards the forest of trees.”

One of he logs had floated closer to shore.

The young burg agreed and bent down to retrieve his weapon from the bank.

A moment later his head had disappeared vanished inside the mouth of a crocodile who then began to spin violently  dragging the burg into the water. Alerted to the frenzy others came as well racing up onto the bank.

There was never any evidence that the Burg had visited india, though there were reports about strange noises by the river that morning.

***

Australia (still just Australia)

They came as the sun was rising. A low mist had coated itself over the land, though the day was lucking to be annoyingly hot. 

They were just coming up to the edge of the human settlement when they saw it. A distant shape silhouetted between two trees. At first it looked like a man, but as the fog drew back they found a strange creature staring back at them.

One of the burg snorted.

The thing looked like a Tesraki almost, but dumber and a bit taller with large pointy ears, an absolutely massive trunk, and a very long back tail that it used like a Tesraki to stand on iits back legs.

One of the Tesraki crouched down in the foliage resting his hand on a low garden wall.

“Just shoo it off.” Their commander ordered, and two of the Burg moved up to confront the dumb looking creature.

Three things happened at once.

First the crouching burg cursed violently flicking his hand and tossing the angry funnel web spider into the bushes. 

A hiss rose up from the leaves.

And the kangaroo violently kicked the first burg in the chest collapsing his carapace beyond repair before moving over to stomp his friend.

The death adder struck.

Two  of the Burg were convulsing on the ground, another two lay silent and broken. The next two ran off in different directions, one towards the nearby beach and the other back into the forest.

No one is entirely sure what happened after that. All we know is one was found belly up at high tide near the docks where blue ringed octopus are known to be found, and the other was completely gone, though they did spot a rather bloated and very happy looking python chilling in the bushes not far from where the incident occurred.

More and more berg had stopped answering their calls.

Most of the burg would never find out what happened.

But we do.

Burg were found dead all over the world.

A young girl reported a burg attack in the outskirts of London, though her rottweiler had made quick work of that enlisting another pack of suburban dogs to protect the little girl from the freaky bug things.

Alligator attacks in Florida.

Six burg were found plowed over by a speeding bullet train in Japan.

in  Lower Mid Mericanda, a group of self-claimed hillbillies  with cutoff sleeves and unironic mullets were speeding through the forests on the back of four wheelers taking pot shots at anything remotely burg shaped. They had  at least ten confirmed kills, and the creatures never made it out of the swamp.

Another group of burg had made the mistake of landing in one of the last nuclear fallout zones in eastern europe, and ended up cooked by the radiation, their bodies to remain rotting there until cleanup finally made it to the site. It was likely they didn’t last more than twenty minutes.

A surfer off the coast of New Zealand watched a school of dolphins ravage a group of burg who had through a water approach would be more prudent.  He had no idea how the dolphins knew the burg were intruders, but they seemed very interested in helping out.

One group of burg had managed to land themselves in a city in the european provinces, and found themselves beaten to death violently by a group of drunk civilians carrying improvised weapons, one of them even brandishing a pool cue.

Two more teams froze to death before they reached their destination.

Another was washed away by a minor flood.

One of the burg ended up tipped off a cliff by a massive eagle, falling to his death hundreds of feet below. 

Another entire group managed to walk their way into a patch of poison ivy breaking out in horrible boils, which later necrosed as they lay paralyzed on the forest floor. 

Somewhere someone was trampled by a moose, while their other friends were whisked over a waterfall.

In yellowstone (yeah it still hasn’t blown up yet bc the vents are a good pressure release) at least another team of burg found themselves cooking in the natural hot springs after ignoring the signs that said (keep on the walkway).

Those who chose to land in the city were not greeted cordially either, packs of marauding street dogs, gangs, the homeless, drunk civilians, angry policemen, and a high school baseball team supported by the high school chess team.

Long and short of the story is that earth was-not-having-it.

The burg had made a grave mistake. 

Mother earth was fond of her children, even the human ones. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Weird, “Synchronization.”

This idea came to me this morning, thought it was really fun and hope you guys like it too :) 

The, now semi-annual, GA summit had been called to order on Irus, the homeworld of the Rundi. Thousands of ships came to land under the green sky and on a launch field dusted with scorching blue sand, blown in from the arid, and near constant breeze than blew in from the east. Rundi bureaucratic assistants were heavily monitoring the weather pattern in fear of a sudden and unexpected sandstorm that could potentially strand the delegates planetside until the piled up sand could be removed.

Not to mention that special considerations had to be made for those species who did not do well with sand, that specifically being the Gromm, who had to be carried form their ships and down to the capital city inside protective bubbles.

The peace summit was not just a gathering of normal delegates, who stayed on Irus more than one third of the year to work out business between the different species, but was actually an open invitation to anyone importantly influential in their government. Of course attendance was not mandatory, and many people chose to skip going, but an even greater amount was obliged to come.

This year, the gathering was larger than ever.

A stir was caused almost immediately when a burg ship descended from the sky and touched down on the sandy landing field. Drev and human guards, paid to work the summit filtered forward, seeming to appear from the azure sand as the ship doors open and a troop of burg royal guard scuttled out onto the sand.

The guards were waved down as king Zaran regent of the burg nation fluttered from the opening, carrying in his arms the grub-like and slowly developing queen who had been placed on the throne during the recent insurrection.

Chairwoman of the Galactic Assembly was first to greet him, and with great respect he greeted her and thanked her for inviting them to the summit despite only being a protectorate nation.

All around the landing field members of other nations looked on in distrust.

The last ship to arrive was actually a small fleet of shuttles from the orbiting Omen, which carried with it both Drev and human representatives. Admiral Vir was accompanied by Chalan/Sunny Lanus’s Daughter and her brother Kanan/Cannon, leader of the Wandering tribe.

They made their way across the open field towards the burg delegation, striding with purpose, but without hostility.

King Zaran seemed to light up when he saw the approaching Drev, and waved his hand enthusiastically as they drew closer. Sunny and Cannon bowed as did their human companion.

Admiral vir stood straighter, “King Zaran, a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m sorry I wasn’t present initially to help free your people.”

The colorfully-wing burg waved a couple of dismissive arms, “No trouble, no  trouble at all Admiral. I heard you were tied up at the time, and besides, your crew members were more than enough help.”

The burg watched as the human flashed a set of pearly white teeth reminding himself of his readings, and how the showing of teeth for humans was a good thing, “They are quite extraordinary aren't they.” Head tilted to the side he stepped a bit closer, “And this is the new queen.” The tiny grub opened wide black eyes to stare at the strange creature standing over her.

“Yes, she is coming along quite well I think. Hopefully, one day she will be a merciful and just ruler where her mother was not.”

“Let us all hope.”  The Admiral acknowledged, falling into step beside the burg King as they began walking towards the Irus capital city and the GA Chambers within. The rest of the delegates, still standing on the launch field, suddenly broke ranks and followed their lead.

Those who had once been skeptical of the burg delegation, slowly moved closer, comforted and encouraged by the human’s presence and civil conversation with their king, not to mention that the humans had brought a burg of their own, which all in all, seemed to ease their concerns.

Furthermore,  Admiral Vir had brought along his own Celzex crew members, carried on the shoulders of Drev and humans, which made the trek to the city much easier as the other Celzex found it appropriate to ride on the shoulders of other species instead of insisting on walking over the scorching hot sand and taking forever.

Admiral Vir stopped by a familiar ball of fluff who was grumpily making his way across the hot pavement, “Lord Celex, I believe my shoulder would b less scorching than the desert sand.”

Lord Celex turned to look at him, eyes narrowed. Admiral Vir bowed, ‘And I believe my station is high enough, that my presence would not dishonor you.”

They stared at each other for a long moment before the Lord Celex’s eyes wrinkled in amusement, “It is good to see you Admiral. I am sorry we could not meet after your return. I was angered to hear of your demise and delighted to learn of your survival.”

Admiral Vir knelt down giving the Celzex a way to climb up onto his shoulder before standing.

“And I am flattered that you so quickly came to the aid of my people in a time of need.”

“Nonsense, you have shown my nation great honor, and I consider us to be friends.”

Admiral Vir flashed his teeth again, though the gesture did not concern lord Celzex in the slightest, 

“I am flattered by your friendship, as I have a feeling you do not hand it out lightly.”

“That is whee you would be right.”

The group of them were least through the shaded city streets, mostly cleaned of sand and towards the center of the wheel, where the GA hall was positioned. The massive tower was created at the hub of the city and shone down on them, a glowing white beacon against the blue sand and green sky. THey said it could be seen from anywhere in the city, a symbol of power for the GA.

The courtyard at the front of the GA council chambers had been covered by a massive force shield blocking out the wind, sand and direct sunlight. The air had even been infused with water to turn the 0% humidity up just slightly. Of course they could not bring it up more than a few percentages as it would begin to cause issues for the Rundi, but it at least helped those species who required water to live to feel less parched: most importantly the Gromm.

Refreshments were carried around the massive courtyard, and all of its rising balconies, though they were assured the food had all been tested directly prior to serving.

A large basket of Anin orb fruit had been provided for both Drev and Human delegates, who seemed to have a proclivity for the treat. In fact they didn’t even bother to provide human food at all as they knew the humans would simply ignore it in favor of new and exciting alien cuisine. 

Admiral Vir had already gotten his hands on an orb fruit, and was busy trying to determine whether or not he liked the strange squishy berry suggested to him by one of the Tesraki.

From there, they were slowly filtered into the meeting chamber where Summit discussions began in earnest. It was mostly talk about what was going on in the next year, the integration of the new burg nation into the GA, trade agreements with the Prodigum, whether they should try to make full contact with the Lumins (species of light worshiping squid-like creatures) Admiral Vir had contacted after an accidental crash land on their planet.

At about the halfway point in the meeting, they were let out for an intermission, and most of the delegates filtered into the courtyard.

There were so many people and so many species that the abscess of the Vrul went unnoticed. The delegates slowly spread out filtering up onto the balconies and out across the courtyard floor. The humans did the same, a large portion of them milling about the floor or leaning against the upper balcony.

Admiral Vir was standing and speaking with a few of the other delegates, though they noticed that he seemed rather distant, glancing over his shoulder on occasion to where some of the other humans were conversing on the side of the courtyard.

The Tesraki delegate leaned in, “Are you alright, Admiral.”

The human smiled at him, and the Tesraki tilted his head thinking for a moment that he had seen a sort of glittering in the man’s single eye before it suddenly passed.

“Yes, of course. ”His smile stayed on and he glanced one more time over his shoulder, “Will you gentlemen and ladies excuse me.” 

The group of them nodded him off watching him with confusion as he walked off towards his companions, and then suddenly stopped in the middle of the floor. They continued to watch him in confusion, the only ones who seemed to notice, as the man cracked his neck, then his knuckles, adjusted his cap on his head, and then took a couple of very deep breaths.

He lifted his hands and began to clap. The Rhythm was very seedy, and the acoustics of the outdoor yard was more than enough to echo the sound around the chamber and grab the attention of anyone and everyone in the courtyard. Head turned and conversations dwindled to nothing.

He continued to clap on Rhythm body swaying slightly back and forth. Soon after came the thudding of his foot against the ground. Everyone had now turned to watch the human in great confusion. The clapping hands and feet turned slowly into a side to side movement that matched with the beat. Everyone was staring now, and that is when the human’s voice rose up to match with the beat of his hands as the human drew out the vowels in that way humans had when they were singing.

He turned around to face them his movements growing more exaggerated though he stayed on beat as he did.

He continued to sing.

People stared.

And then another voice joined him from up on the balcony, taking over from him ringing clear and loud across the open space. Another human walking behind the Admiral suddenly turned sharply and fell into step behind him taking up the same movements on the same beat.

More voices joined with the second, and the clapping grew louder and louder.

Aliens watched in shocked confusion as more humans filtered upwards taking up the movements of the first two, until there was a large group of humans moving in synchronization with each other and with the beat, and with the voices that echoed down from overhead. 

Their synchronized movements pulled them left and then right and then onto the ground and then briefly into the air. Another human took a running start, leaping over his companions and flipping in the air before landing on beat at the very front. Two other humans flipped into the group from left and right springing onto their hands, then back to their feet, and then flipping over backwards to land in time with everyone else.

THe singing only grew louder, and those that were singing filtered down the stairs from above to join their companions on the floor.

Their moving feet beat out a complex rhythm on the floor just under the rhythm of the singing. Their hands moved in completely different patterns and shapes to their feet, requiring full body coordination that was unheard of from most of the species who stood stunned and watching. Almost all of the humans had filtered onto the floor beside the UN president and GA delegate who seemed just as surprised as the rest of the aliens.

however , unlike the aliens, their shock soon wore off and turned into clapping along with the beat and cheering.

The aliens all stood around in confusion, that is until the Burg King began to clap his hands together in delight  explaining how awe for the feat of coordination an entire group of humans could pull off. His delight drew some of the other aliens closer murmuring in awe as the humans moved like a single body in time with their overwhelming music

It was transfixing, and fun, and shocking and delightful.

The beat of the music was fast, and, what little they understood of the words were upbeat and positive. Slow moved into fast, until their movements were barely visible. Feet crossed over and then crossed back, figures crossed over and then crossed back.

Then all the humans fell back onto the ground, and those on the balcony watched as a giant circular pattern began shifting before them, made up by numerous human bodies moving in unison. They sat up, laid back down, rolled over and then leaped to their feet, all while the group behind them was singing at the top of their lungs.

The clapping beat did not abate once during this time, made by feet or hands or the singers.

Delighted and awed the aliens had gathered in a large circle, assuming they couldn't be more surprised, that is until a group of Drev filtered out from the crowd, and suddenly and inexplicably took up the same beat.

Admiral Vir, who had started the entire thing was suddenly shadowed by Sunny who mirrored his movements from behind, his body framed by hers, and occasionally giving him the appearance of having six arms, four legs and two heads. The fact that most of the humans were also wearing military uniforms added to a sense of sameness that pulled the entire thing, whatever it was, together.

The beat rose to a crescendo, Admiral Vir and a group of other humans at the front, stepped back onto the waiting hands of a Drev, and were suddenly flipped into the air, doing one rotation before landing and taking a kneeling position with the last beat as the music stopped

They held that position for a single moment until the clapping and cheering began from the two human delegates, quickly mirrored and taken up by the other observers still in absolute awe,

The Burg king could be heard exclaiming his admiration over the noise fo the crowd, as the group of human and Drev dispersed wiping sweat from their foreheads and dusting themselves off.

Admiral Vir walked over to where a congregation of some of the alien leaders had formed a sort of conglomerate.

The UN president looked him over, “Admiral, I didn’t know you could dance.”

He smiled, “I usually don't but we've been working for a few months now.”

The GA delegate looked him over, “Not everyday someone in your…. station … breaks into song and dance.”

The Admiral shrugged, “I know its a wide misconception but the star on my shoulder doesn’t actually come with a stick up the ass. Those are generally acquired earlier in a military career.”

Just then the Chairwoman pushed forward through the crowd breathless, “Admiral, that was… impressive…. We have never seen anything like….. What even was that?”

He smiled, “A great human tradition spanning centuries where a group of humans get together and choreograph a dance or a song, and then do it randomly in public without warning. It’s called a flash mob.”

“That is the most pleasant Mob I have ever been witness to.”

“I’m glad you liked it, chairwoman. I thought it might be nice to bring a little human culture to the summit for entertainment.”

“I assume that is why the Vrul are not here.”

He shrugged, “We wanted to avoid making an entire delegation pass out.”

“And was this your idea?”

“Partially, it started out as a joke, but the more we talked about it the more fun it sounded, besides it had the happy side effect of being great for crew morale. Getting together working out, learning a dance and singing together was great crew bonding, and definitely helped to integrate new members.” He smiled again, “So it was mostly beneficial to us, but the rew didn’t want to let all their hard work go to waist.”

The UN president shook her head, “I just don't understand how you got an entire group of career military men to dance.”

“When everyone behaves weird, no one behaves weird.”

Of course, the little exhibition was a bit detrimental to the second half of the Summit as delegate members couldn’t stop whispering about it or watching it over again on recording as the GA tried to regain momentum. IT took less than a day before the video was spread across the galaxy by news outlets and other media.

To some, the coordination of the humans was rather scary, while, to others it was an amazing feat of skill,  and proof that, while humans were dangerous, they mostly used their abilities to create fun little dances and songs for amusement

No one wanted to mention the military application of such coordination.

It was too bad for them, the humans already knew

Hopefully no one would ever have to see weaponized synchronization in action.