#stuff from when i got sick
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coffee-cait · 10 months ago
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🔥CAW CAW🔥
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fauvester · 3 months ago
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something something seeing things through different eyes
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icewindandboringhorror · 4 months ago
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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ink-the-artist · 1 year ago
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blood animals
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kagoutiss · 4 months ago
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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hajimedics · 10 months ago
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welcome home persona AU, aka mostly an excuse for me to draw my human designs in classy children’s fairytale-inspired outfits
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aromanticasterisms · 1 year ago
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no but actually. the parallels to other Twins in different nations of teyvat in relation to the traveler and their desire to reunite with their own sibling makes me a little bit bonkers. like.
diluc and kaeya as what the traveler has and fears, after we will be reunited [separation born from conflict that seemingly cannot be mended; they both care for each other but ultimately their opposing ideals mean they cannot be at each other's side in the same way that they used to, and no longer have the close bond they once did]
ei and makoto as what the abyss sibling experienced [a crushing loss not just of one's twin but the last remaining friend they had and the safety and security of their nation, coming out the other side traumatized, cold and jaded and making decisions that will ultimately hurt the people they claim to want to protect for the sake of an unattainable goal]
and lyney and lynette as what the traveler and the abyss twin used to have before they were separated [never apart for long, home is wherever we are together], what the traveler wants [their separation brief and quickly amended, continuing to be inseparable after they reunite], and also the choice they'll have to make [the twins being together in an organization the traveler inherently doesn't trust - does the traveler want to be by their sibling's side badly enough to throw their lot in with the abyss, and turn their back on everyone else they've met on their journey so far?]
#personal stuff#thorn plays genshin#RIPS AND TEARS.#hi . feeling so normal btw#i was thinking so so so so hard about the traveler twins when ei's second story quest dropped#and i am constantly sick in the head about the traveler being tired of the ragbros nonsense communication#and THEN in fontaine the traveler having to watch these two twins who are incredibly close.#and try not to think about what they've lost#i'm. uuaauguugh#LIKE#the traveler and the abyss twin really are what the fontaine twins could be if either of them lost the other.#at the end of his story quest lyney talks about how both of them give each other strength to get through the darkest days#and how darkness never consumes him because he has his sister and they remember the good things together [punches the ground]#also lyney and lynette losing their trust in people early on and having to lie to everyone around them#and getting the companionship that kaeya never got in his childhood. cries#like he had his twin!!! he had his brother!!! but he had to lie to him for years and never felt truly understood until that night#and AUUUGH the running theme of one twin being Light and the other being Dark#one always brightly engaging with people while the other deals with matters from the shadows#and the brothers flipping that on its head when diluc returns to mondstadt - diluc in the shadows and kaeya with the knights#and ei getting someone who will be her shadow so she can finally step into the light herself and see the world with her own eyes.#just AUUGUUGHGH. i'm fine. i'm normal#this is incoherent maybe but augh. augh. siblings.#[looking back at the earth] wait the game is about family? always has been
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hana-bobo-finch · 5 days ago
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damnnn I hate it when tumblr doesn’t show me posts from my mutuals and I have to scour through their blogs to see what I missed. How barbaric. Especially hate it when I can tell my own posts aren’t being shown. Listen when I post I want EVERYONE to see it. Like look at this
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It’s zasp as a larva 🥰🥰🥰ignore the fact that he is Actively Being Eaten
#poor zasp larva. can’t believe (my sibling’s oc) would do this 😔#wasp larvae are soooo cute can I go on a side tangent rq#absolute BLOBS. GROSS. I LOVE THEM#YES I would probably recoil in disgust if I touched one but that’s why they’re so cute#no legs no nothin these boys are just TUBES#they’re so hardcore. they eat meat!! they devour other bugs meanwhile the allegedly cruel wasps just slurp up sweet stuff#that’s adorable!!! my little freaks!!!#you go girl. eat them meat.#wasp haters get no respect from me#wasp fear-ers are a different story bc I too am scared of wasps#but there’s a difference between fear and wanting to eradicate these precious little things#they’re so cute…..sick of people pretending they’re not……#have you seen them??? some of them are built like q-tips#thread waisted wasps are WILD. they’re awesome and go hard change my mind#I had a dream last night where I got to take photos of wasps….sighs dreamily……..#I also got to take photos of olimar who was apparently real so that was awesome too I guess#when the wasps return I’m gonna throw myself in the middle of the battlefield and snap pictures of those fellas#I just have to wait for it to be. not consistently 20 degrees out#which could take a while. ALSO MOTHS I LOVE MOTHS. want to take pics of them too but they’ll be harder#not only do I Never see moths (heartbreaking) but I also. am not allowed outside at night. also heartbreaking#I would do anything to see a giant silk moth irl
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nullians · 5 months ago
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It’s actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things “marketable” and it’s making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello
#I need to write a proper Spectra&Gus meta bc it’s been cooking me how people don’t Want to see the insanity in them#argh#d0 stuff#negative#d0 smashes the keyboard#like yes#Gus’s devotion and loyalty are extreme and these feelings make him do stupid things that he is absolutely aware of being stupid#but let’s not pretend that these feelings go both ways in their relationship#Spectra (for like. the majority of the New Vestroia except the maybe last 12 eps?) sees Gus as a convenient tool#like Yeah he is like. a person and all that but Spectra doesn’t Interact with him when it doesn’t concern his business so#and also yes. he gives Gus a level of autonomy that one might not exactly expect from how usually these relationships go but#one Has to question if it’s bc of his goodwill or bc he is safe in his knowledge that Gus would never leave him#which. fun and sick and makes them sooo compelling#I would also argue that Spectra/Keith don’t even miss Gus when he ‘died’ as a person at first#but as the second pair of hands for work#like it was quite funny to see Spectra give instructions to air only to be reminded that his minion died#but it does rise the question of why hasn’t it happened before or in any other situation#(which I must say I really dig because yes. Spectra has always been centred around his ambitions so ofc this is where it would hurt first)#but yeah. sth sth Spectra only starts his journey of Actually giving a shit about Gus and acknowledging his importance to him as a person#by the end of nv#you could still argue it was partially (or maybe wholly) motivated by convenience that Gus presents but#it really was the first time Spectra has personally expressed his tie to Gus gah#all of this to say#they are sickos; each in their own way; and I think we can really make this more sinister and insane than we’ve allowed ourselves#throughout the years so far#like yeah. can I see them as a happy couple? sure! but also can I see this as a very codependent (more so from Gus’s angle) relationship#that’s being sprinkled with Tons of manipulation from Spectra? also yes#actually sorry for this wall of tags idk what got me thinking about them again#but it’s so so biting the bars day bc these guys are so fun!! we just have to let them be and maybe read canon through less good intentions#ok uhhh
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coriander-candlesticks · 6 months ago
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I'm sick so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I've been thinking about the nature of myths recently as I've been exploring hellenic polytheism.
For context: I'm ex-Mormon. I was raised in the church and, because of that, was taught biblical literalism but in, like, a more subtle way than most? I was raised believing that Adam & Eve and Noah's Ark, etc., were literally true, but that the story of Job specifically was not; I also always knew evolution and the Big Bang to be correct, despite there being a verse in the Doctrine & Covenants (a Mormon-specific religious book) where God apparently told Joseph Smith that the world is 6,000 years old- a passage I didn't know existed until my senior year of high school. I didn't realize I had believed in biblical literalism until I'd left the church, actually.
Now that I'm aware of it, it's a mindset I'm actively trying to combat while I explore Hellenic polytheism. It's definitely been a task to separate the nature of the Gods from their myths, as brutal as they often are. And it's something I've noticed within the community, too, which I think is interesting. It makes sense: Christianity, at least, has had a chokehold on much of the world for a long time, and so many of us have experienced literalism as our first interaction with any sort of holy text (though, of course, Greek myths as a whole aren't that) alongside our first experience with divinity as a wrathful God whose flaws are waved away, or ignored, or twisted into positive attributes. This also means that I'm trying to re-approach several deities with an open mind (Zeus, Hera, and Ares in particular, but many of them to some extent) while also trying to un-condition myself. I was already in the process of doing this, of course, but trying to figure out how to interact with a completely different pantheon has made that especially clear.
It extends to things like prayer and offerings, too. Prayers were very formulaic growing up, even though most of the time there wasn't a strict script to follow. There was always something you ask as part of the prayer, even if it's just 'please help me do better tomorrow' (alongside giving thanks, of course), so trying to craft a prayer without adding *everything* I'm used to including in makes it feel incomplete and, therefore, disrespectful. And daily prayer is something I'm resistant to because of prior experiences with it. I don't want to offend any of the gods by asking for something or asking for too much, especially so early on, and there's always a promised offering the few times I *have* asked. Add worries about exact obedience on top of that and it's proving to be a difficult thing to untangle. And I know that the gods are difficult to offend, figuring out how to do this takes trial & error and that's okay, it'll get better the more I do it, etc., etc.; this is more an issue with my own overthinking than anything else (hooray for ✨ mental health issues ✨). I'm not really asking for advice here, necessarily, just thinking out loud because I'm not comfortable talking to people in meat space about it yet.
#also: the whole thing about cleanliness? as someone w/ mental health issues? Rough. very rough. what counts? how individualized is it?#if i cant get my room (where my shrines are/will be) clean does that mean i cant give any offerings?#is just washing my hands and/or veiling actually okay most of the time? even when ive been struggling to shower?#when does something require a change of clothes? or do i have to do that every time i offer something at any point in the day?#including meal/drink (ex steam from tea) offerings? i dont have that many clothes besties#if im pouring out an offering to hermes on my way home from work do i have to somehow wash my hands first b/c i just got off public transit#can i pour it directly from my water bottle or do i have to keep a little separate bottle of water just for libations?#and like. i know logically the answer is 'do whatever you can and you'll figure it out' but it hasnt sunk in yet#it's always...interesting when a new layer of religious trauma tm gets discovered#also. maybe it's just the 'tism but 'just jump in!' and 'go slow at the beginning' seem contradictory to me#like. you cant do both??? i dont think??? 'just jump in' is the answer ive been getting when i do tarot so im trying to do that#also. doubts? not offending a deity??? wild concept. just. the hardest thing to wrap my head around. mormon god's ego is FRAGILE fr#hellenic pagan#helpol#hellenic polytheism#not adding exmo tags b/c i dont have a good enough handle on the community here & im too sick to deal with people being weird about this#my post#coriander says#seeing people get into the theological weeds is cool from the outside (see: that 'can spiderman do superhero stuff on the sabbath' post)#but very stressful when there's not centuries on centuries of detailed information to draw from & everyone's just trying to figure shit out#in a world that's *very* different from the one the information we *do* have was written down in#christianity cw#mormonism cw
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lightningzbolt · 10 months ago
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Awsten Knight Hair (Two different files)
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I started with showing Red & Black first as it's the latest but I made 17 swatches. I think I covered every significant color, skipping most Greatest Hits hairs as those are a pain okay, I am but a single person with GIMP. I did do the scene hair but I would like to some day do it on another mesh. I sorted and organized all my pictures of Awsten, over 400 btw, by hair color, to help me figure out the best examples of each, and to figure out which ones were just faded versions of the others, a few swatches are 'faded' colors, and which looked distinct enough to make swatches for. Green seems most consistent, I have the most pics of blue. Greatest Hits tricolor and red & black are my favorites. The blue is the first color that shows up on the swatches so the thumbnail shows blue hair to make finding it easy. I tried to mimic that the two distinct reds were not exactly the same. I've gotten way too fucking good at telling when a picture came from even if the color is gone from it. None of these are what hair my Awsten Sim normally has tho.
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This is. I made this a couple years ago and never changed it from most outfits as it just makes him stand out and it took hours to make, I wanted to get the most out of it. Just one swatch here. Both of these are base game mesh recolors, so nothing else is needed. Standalone files. Also I went out of my way to grab werewolfy poses and emotions because I think it's adorable, okay. He's the least intimidating werewolf, but still my favorite. Forgive Jack's face and body and everything being in frame a lot I am playing as him.
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#sims 4#sims 4 cc#the sims 4#ts4 cc#the sims cc#ts4#sims 4 cas#ts4 cas#cas#awsten knight#waterparks#hair#sims 4 hair#I got sick of Alex so I swapped to play as Jack so I could use him for jewellery stuff as I felt that pack fits Spellcaster aesthetics#But his apartment has no room for that shit so I set it up at his parents' house and they are a pain but they are spellcasters too#Anyway finding rocks is harder than I thought but I made a lot of jewellery for Awsten because LUNAR hahaha werewolf#But when visiting Awsten the first time also hoping he'd bite Jack from a new mod I got#Jack is dumb and he kept playing with Awsten's pet rat instead and LONG STORY SHORT he got himself bit by the dumb rat#Got sick and had like no fucking money and no quick way to earn it so I kept pickpocketing random sims to get some#Just enough that he could get the antidote and NOT DIE he almost fucking died#I tried messing with his bitchy neighbor when he was contagious but yeah other stuff happened with her instead#Anyway he is now barred from playing with rats as he is too dumb to live#Yeah I made hair for Awsten but I have nothing to say about him as a Sim#He's a dog that's all there is to it#Okay that is his house tho i built it when the Werewolves pack was new and I got him moved away from an apartment into Moonwood Mill#And got him turned into a werewolf#He has 7 cats btw#I made green hair for him first way back when before all that but this is a new version of it#I'm not a big fan of the purple
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game-grumps-captions · 3 months ago
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I feel like writing the word “lesbian” across my forehead would be less gay then whatever I have going on here
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virgil-upinthestars · 3 months ago
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the fire alarm went off a lot when I was in high school, for a multitude of reasons (someone pulled it, someone decided to smoke weed in the bathroom, someone tried to microwave a burrito) that were never actually a fire. but, because of protocol, we'd have to stay outside in the cold pnw rain for anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour as the fire department trudged over to figure out what the fuck happened this time. this resulted in a school full of teenagers who reacted to a fire alarm like it was an announcement for a suprise assembly. instead of dropping everything and heading for the exits, we'd jump at the loud noise because ew loud noise, groan because fuck not again, and proceed to pack our shit because there was no way we'd be standing out in the cold for forty minutes without our coats and phones.
cue me now, three thousand miles across the country, studying in the library of a well-respected university when the fire alarm goes off. my roommate and I nearly both jump out of our seats, grabbing each other's hand out of sheer reflex, and after a blurred prayer, I realize what's going on. all around us, people are getting up and talking over the alarm as they worry about what's going on, making their way to the nearest exit. my roommate gets out of her chair, looking worried. me?
I look up. I take a long sniff, like I'm impersonating the wolverine. and then I finish my goddamn email.
some of my roommate's friends come over to us, hurriedly explaining that it's just a drill, we don't need to worry. my roommate visibly relaxes. I respond "oh, thank fuck" and close my computer, packing my stuff up. these girls from east asia look at me with shocked and slightly unnerved expressions as I put on my blazer. they've all left their stuff behind. my roommate's also leaving her coat and bag. I shrug, and sling my backpack over my shoulder. If I don't smell smoke, I'm finishing my goddamn email.
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wayfinderships · 11 months ago
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Reminder that if you ship incest to GET OUT of my blog please and thank you <3
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varjopeura · 6 months ago
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spacejammie-eimmajecaps · 5 months ago
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Fell back asleep for a while (still have a horrible headache btw) and I had the most disturbing dream that I'm going to tell you guys about in the tags
#so i was on a road trip with a bunch of people i dont even know and there were like 10 of us packed into a van#and they were so fucking loud and my head was hurting even in my dream so i was like CAN EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP#and we get to this hotel or like house place thats like a hotel#amd we go inside and i go check the fridge and there was a thick lemonade snoothie looking drink in this clear pitcher in the fridge#and i pulled it out and look inside and there was a live fucking lizard in there all covered in the smoothie stuff trying to escape#and i was like damn i should let that outside in a minute#but i went to looks for meds first bc like i said my head was hurting even in my dream#and when i come back the pitcher is empty (no lizard no smoothie stuff)#and i was like ...... did someone drink this??#and this guy was like nah that was cake batter i put in the oven#and i was like YOU FUCKING PUT IT WHERE????#so i get this sheet pan out of the oven and there is a half baked cake and in the middle was the lizard all charred and dead looking#and i was like fuck dude you killed it#but then#BUT THEN#the fucking lizard gets up and jumped out of the cake batter and starts speed running around the place like up on the walls and ceiling#and it seemed pissed as hell#like rightfully so bc someone tried to bake it into a cake but still#so i was running around trying to stay away from it bc i got the impression that it would bite whoever it got close to#and then i woke up and for a second it felt like something was crawling on me#and i had a small/brief panic as i checked the bed for any lizards (there was nothing there)#and now im awake and my head hurts even worse and my throat hurts and my body hurts and its very possible that im sick
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