#stinky breath

[dudja]

Shrek needs a breath mint #donkey #comedy #shrek #funny #impression #dudja #lol #memes #breathmint #eddiemurphy

[yellow-void]

[desceros]

ok this one's better. ignore any previous villain donnie's left in your inbox oooo

[meteorologist voice] well folks if you look to your night sky you'll have a chance of catching a special treat tonight! looks like tumblr user desceros has fucking exploded and will be ascending to become a star in our cosmos. wow, what an opportunity to see spontaneous human combustion in real time. truly something special. anyway, back to you, janice

[hemlock-ghost]

Just finished Betwixt the Bramblecracks and this line was so so sweet I love mudd so much

Alt version with leaves that I couldn't figure out if I liked or not:

[zytes]

7.15.23

[smittenskitten]

My breath stinks. No, it doesn't.

[3-aem]

my cat has been so cuddly tonight im just like r u dying……why do you crave being a ball on my lap no matter what

[spliffywhiffy]

Who are you spending the next week with?

Sabine, Ditte or Candycrush. All smell equally as bad. All as fucked off with you as each other. you gotta pick one for your punishment. The one on the top is Sabine. The more mature one of the 3. She knows her way around a guy. She knows just how to get her feet bad enough for you and won’t ever crack a smile for you.

The one on the left is Ditte. She puts a lot of hours into her job and loves her nylons. Bad news for you. They make her feet smell unbearable. She just hates how you like the pain of her housemate and wants to make you feel what her housemate feels.

The one on the right is Candycrush. Her feet just smell. Bad. All the time. Wearing any sort of shoe makes her reek. She has thick feet so there is almost definitely no clean air under her. Think you can handle a constant week of her brutal onslaught?

Careful who you pick. It would be a shame to annoy the other 2 more…

[strapskinkstories]

Davis was on Skype with a friend of his named Mark. Mark said to Davis "Do you have a dirty diaper on like I told you to?!" Davis said "Yes Sir, I have worn this diaper for the last month filling it with piss and sweat and shitting in the toilet so the diaper stays usable. It smells disgusting, the whole room smells bad." Mark said "Good, pull it off and wrap it around your fucking stupid face cunt!" Davis said whimpering "Oh god no, no way man, I can barely handle the smell wearing it!" Mark said "Okay then, I have your credit card number, looks like I'm getting a new Xbox and TV on your credit card!" Davis screamed "No Master, no more credit card debt!" Davis pulled the diaper off, the smell was even stronger when he pulled it off, it made his nose curl up and his eyes water. He held the diaper up to the camera, up to his face. He gagged. Mark said "Wrap it around your stupid loser face and jerk off til you cum!" Davis said "EWW, I won't be able to do that!" Mark said "Well then, I guess you'll be doing $2000 of new debt" Davis grunted and stomped his feet. He wrapped the filthy diaper around his head and said crying "Tight enough Mammmmsster" Mark said "Pull those fucking tapes until I can see your stupid nose and lips under that diaper!" Davis pulled the tapes tight, the nasty foul sweat and pis soaked padding invaded his mouth gagging him. Davis made soft gurgling cries. Mark said "Perfect, bet you can barely fuckin breathe loser. Bet you feel like you're gonna suffocate, you got handcuffs!?" Davis held up a pair of baby pink handcuffs, he pressed his wrists into them behind his back. Mark laughed hysterically and said "How you supposed to wank like that? Now you surely gonna have to orgasm without touching yourself!" Davis screamed struggled and cried, he thrashed so hard his chair tipped over. Mark was a few blocks away so got in his truck and drove over to Davis's house knowing he could be in serious trouble. He walked into the room and looked at Davis, he was weakly writhing his hands stuck behind the chair, a large gob of cum on his shorts and every second of it recorded on the Skype recorder. Mark unlocked the cuffs and said to Davis "Fucking awesome slave cunt! I want you to suffocate in a month old diaper every month for me from now on!" Davis whined "Oh come on, I felt like I was gonna die!" Mark said "No excuses, I'll be coming over to your house to physically watch and video tape you next time and every time. I like watching a guy suffocate til he squirts restrained huffing a stinky nasty diaper!" Davis cried and said "COME ON! I GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS!" Mark said "Shouldn't have give me your permanent credit card access rights. Now have fun being my diaper slave FOREVER!"

[lottieurl]

computer show me countries with the least amount of smokers

[umbral-archives]

Kinktober 2024: Day 10 | Bondage + Heist

Rating: NSFW MINORS DNI

AFAB!Reader/Femme

Pairing: Heist Mark (Markiplier CU) x AFAB!Reader

Warnings: Bondage, Toys, Edging, Petnames, Overstimulation (kinda.), Daddy kink, My Markus (Heist) is a stinky mean motherfucker sometimes and in this essay I will-

Word Count: 989 words

Satin binds cling to damp skin, spiraling over your trembling body in secure fastenings. A work of art, if they weren’t currently impeding you from achieving an orgasm you’ve been fighting almost an hour for.

Your sweat does little to aid in attempts to get free, though you don’t have the energy to fight your way out of them anyway. Marcus had made sure to secure them properly, and you wouldn’t expect anything less from a master thief.

Your Master Thief.

You squirm against the restraints for the umpteenth time, flutily trying to rock down onto the dildo thrusting into you at a snail’s pace. Normally, Marcus likes to use the fucking machine he stole to rail you into oblivion, turning you into a mess floating in the depths of subspace… but tonight is different. So frustratingly different. Markus sits nearby, languidly stroking himself while watching you struggle. There’s a dangerous amusement in his eyes as he observes you, akin to a dragon watching a knight drown in their treasure hoard. He hasn’t cum either, content to edge himself despite the whole scenario being the opposite of his usual preferences.

What the hell did Illinois get in his head this time, the nasty fucker? “M-Markus-” you whine pitifully, trying desperately to get some kind of relief, “this isn’t- fair!” The thief chuckles softly, head lulling to the side as he groans. “I never said that I was fair, baby,” the fucker muses, his hand never stops moving, claiming the pleasure that should’ve been yours.

For some reason, that makes you angry- seeing him so free and capable to get off as he desires while you’re helpless and burning with need… so you decide to do something about it. Something you’re not supposed to do when he’s in control like this, but you’re so desperate that you don’t care.

Slight motion, rotating your hips with every thrust, concentrating on his noises while letting the satin rope knots strained across your cunt catch your clit with the movement. You’re terribly sensitive, so terribly sensitive- and it all becomes a mind-numbing spiral latching on to your pleasure, real pleasure peaking through the overstimulated edging-

Markus doesn’t notice, groaning- and the fucking machine suddenly speeds up, catching you off guard. You wail, suddenly so very close, babbling pleas while the intensity bounces your body across the table. At least it tries, the ropes straining against your skin, a pleasant burn that just adds up to everything else.

Markus calls your name, commanding you to look at him–and you moan helplessly when you do. He’s watching you fall apart, fisting his cock like he’ll die if he doesn’t get to cum with you. A fierce determination etches the lust across his face, dark eyes focused wholly on you, and you’ve never felt so…

Wanted.

“Daddy, please!”

… The dildo stops moving.

The fucking dildo stops moving right as you peak and you scream, teetering on an edge you somehow can’t reach. It’s worse than any other denial Markus has given you tonight, sending your head into a dizzying spiral as your body rebels.

Markus, however, groans openly, jerking bodily and cursing as he tumbles over that precipice, ropes of white covering his chest as he throws his head back. The sight is almost enough to ignite that fire, cunt clenching desperately around the toy as frustrated sobs finally bubble out from your throat.

Bastard!

He finally comes to a stop, panting heavily, gaze skyward. The only sounds in the rooms are his breathing and your frustrated gasps, the quiet hum of the turbine in the machine waiting for more instructions.

Markus looks down to his chest, to the tapestry of cum across his abs, then to you–red in the face, shaking, still grinding uselessly. Fluid covering your thighs, having dribbled down onto the table between your legs.

It gives him an idea.

The thief stands up, collecting some of the cum on his chest with his free hand, a new, feral sort of look in his eyes. It immediately makes you uneasy, thinking he’s going to make you lick the cum off his fingers or something. While you have no problem with that otherwise, right now?

“Y-You’re an a-ss-shole-” you sniffle out, blinking away tears as he makes his way toward you. Fucker just smiles, patting your thigh, stopping by your hips and pressing the button to disengage the arm. "Poor thing, all hot and bothered..."

He gingerly removes the dildo from your cunt, ignoring your oversensitive shudders. A quiet whistle is all you get from how red and puffy your poor hole is.

“Running out of lube…” he remarks nonchalantly, as if you haven’t been stuffed with that same toy for 30 minutes- but then.

Then the fucker takes his cum and rubs it along the dildo, collecting every last drop from his chest and smearing it across the toy. He even fucks his fingers into your abused pussy, smirking when you cry out and thrash on the table.

“Guess we’ll have to fix that, huh, pretty?” he coos, leaning over you and kissing your neck. “Can’t have you getting hurt from this.”

“…Motherfu-” You have no time to snap at him, however, finding yourself quickly filled with that same cum-soaked dildo–and the very thought makes you whimper.

Nasty fucker-

“You want to cum, baby?” he whispers, voice dripping with debaucherous promise. You shake your head desperately, trying to turn your head to look at him, pleading with every fiber of your being. His hand wanders down your stomach, remnants of his orgasm sticking to your skin. All the way down to your clit, where he presses his fingers against the knot over that sensitive bundle of nerves, making you keen. “Then you’ll cum. You’ll cum for Daddy until your brains are leaking out of your fuckin’ ears.”

The machine starts up again immediately after that, max speed, and all your thoughts are rendered null.

[avanii]

The Beast of Sulphur. Another member of my geology / volcano monsters. Probably the stinkiest of them all! Inspired by the way sulphur crystals grow on the rocks at steaming vents. Some of it melts there and looks reddish, almost bloody 😲 Painted with acrylic inks.

[monsterrous-arts]

Stupid dumb idiot monster dog thing got put in the cone of shame and now his mane is choking him

I don't think he's very happy with it

[isatoru]

the concept of morning breath does not exist to blue lock men btw. they're all kissing you with tongue first thing in the morning and do not give a fuck. you say "at least let me brush my teeth first" or "at least brush your teeth first" and they're asking why lol ???

[justjenah]

I was in a boring meeting today and actually laughed out loud because my brain kept serving up “I showed a crow a TIKTOK!”

[tootpootwoot]

After a birthday party⭐️🎈🎉 Some eyeliner would have brought it all together (before it semi wore off)... but didn't feel like I needed to for the occasion .... and I'm also very lazy .... it was enough 😂 I'm still using a 7 yr old Lorac Pro palette (the first one) and an old wnw one uhhh life finds a way .... when you only have 2 palettes. No brows 🤷‍♀️ There was a piñata!!! That's enough... writing for tonight...