#still waiting on someone to point out the literary reference

[unhappy-sometimes]

a 2024 writing retrospective (for sxf fanfic)

ignore the fact that i’m a few days late. i’ve been unbelievably busy the past couple weeks.

in this post i’ll go over the fics i wrote in 2024 think of it as an extremely extended author’s notes. i love to talk and will do so when given the chance.

i’ll start from my latest fic and work my way backwards. spoilers for everything i’ve written in 2024.

(Very) Stupid

Something that I try really really hard to maintain in my writing is believability, specifically when it comes to writing characters. Characters acting out of character is one of my biggest fanfic pet peeves: if I wanted to read about someone’s oc, then I would’ve read a regular book. That being said, I think a lot about how Twilight would actually act like if he were in love. I had an interesting conversation with @cantareincminor forever ago about how he’s so emotionally constipated that it’s kind of difficult to write Twilight in love without making him a bit ooc. Right now in canon it’s hard to imagine him falling head over heels for anyone (in my opinion, anyway).

That being said there are moments in canon where he acts flustered in situations that could be interpreted as romantic. So, for right now, my hypothesis is this: if and when Twilight falls in love, he’s going to be an absolute fool. He’s going to do his usual overthinking and overanalyizing, so much to the point that he starts hesitating over the smallest things.

(Very) Stupid is how I imagine all of that unfolding, although for the sake of comedy I did push things to the absurd. Sometimes Twilight does things in canon with such certainty of “Yes, of course normal people do this, I’m nailing this normalcy thing” that he fails to realize he’s being kinda ridiculous. I also wanted to take that element and incorporate it into a fic.

I also wanted to try subverting expectations (ooh fancy literary term) by having them do romantic things that lead them nowhere. I tried to cram in as many tropes as I could—feeding each other with a fork, only one bed, first kiss—but do so under the guise of Twilight completely missing how dumb he’s being the entire time. He only realizes his feelings until after their first kiss, specifically when Yor surprises him with a quick peck on the cheek. This, of course, was deliberate. I figured that it’d make the most sense if Twilight would only realize his feelings in a situation where he wasn’t the one initiating a (somewhat) romantic gesture because he theoretically wouldn’t be overthinking it. Instead, Yor just sneaks in when his guard is down <3

Endings are usually the hardest things for me to write and (Very) Stupid was no exception. I almost had Twilight pass out at the breakfast table when he kisses Yor but then I realized I’d made him faint in almost every fic I’ve written this year and that felt like a cop out. But I figured it out and I don’t mind the way the ending turned out :D

Also, kind of a random reference, but the title is slightly inspired by VERY NICE by Seventeen lol

Holy crap I’ve written so much for only one fic so far. My apologies in advance.

21 Eden Street

I won’t go into too much detail for 21 Eden Street because it’s still ongoing, but I just wanna brag about how fun it is to write hehe. It’s really enjoyable to write pure crack and come up with stupid and insane ideas with Cantare. You don’t need to have seen either iteration of 21 Jump Street to understand what’s going on. Honestly, we’ve taken very little from the source material and treated it more like a loose guide and a basis for brainstorming.

Don’t worry, we haven’t abandoned it! Cantare is waiting on me to finish writing my chapter (hehe sorry, Cantare!) and soon it’ll be back up and running.

Seeing things

Ah, Seeing Things, my beloved <3

This fic has the least amount of hits out of everything I’ve written (which is not surprising to me) but I hold it very dear to my heart. There’s not a specific reason why other than I just really enjoyed writing it. I also spent a ton of time making supplementary drawings and a whole hype campaign for it, too, so I kinda am obligated to feel some sorta way about it.

Anyway, the way this fic came about is simple; I just had the things I am most afraid of happen to Twilight. Yes, I’m scared of serial killers and my loved ones dying like everyone else, but something I am absolutely terrified of are hallucinations. That and doppelgangers.

Not being able to tell reality apart from fiction activates the flight or fight senses in me. Real life can be scary, yes, but reality is bound by the rules of reality. Literally anything can happen in fiction. The most horrific, awful things are possible in fiction and if those things suddenly become possible in reality???? Girl I am GONE. Passing away. Curling up in a fetal position in the nearest corner. I don’t know if that makes any sense. If I ever start seeing things that I can’t be sure are actually happening or not, I am choosing to die right then and there. Doppelgangers as a concept are also really scary to me. It’s like stranger danger but times a thousand because you can’t tell who the strangers are anymore.

In my initial draft, there wasn’t nearly as much of a tension between Twilight and Yor. If I recall correctly, by then I’d written to nearly the end and realized that for Yor this whole experience has been Loid acting just a little more weird than usual. It might’ve been Cantare’s suggestion (just assume everything after Guy’s Night has been beta’d by Cantare and you’ll be mostly right) but I realized that Twilight probably would start to suspect the people around him were screwing with him. I added the scene where his room was messed up and it all fell into place hehe.

I don’t like writing gore or the like because I feel like typical gore quickly starts escalating into levels of pain that the average reader has no possibility of comprehending and it loses its efficacy. Instead I tried feeding into Twilight’s paranoia, adding things that in isolation are just weird but when put together are unsettling. I shamelessly stole the fourth room hallway from Impossible Landscapes, a Delta Green campaign that I highly recommend you check out if you enjoy surreal horror. I purposefully kept some things vague, like the things Anya sees in Twilight’s mind, the way Handler’s face gets warped, or the description of “the watchers” because I felt like going into detail would lose the unknown-ness of it all. That and I’m lazy heehee.

In some way, canon Spy x Family does deal with ideas of doppelgangers and paranoia. Spies are constantly afraid of being listened in on, they don’t know if they can trust anyone, and they always have to keep an eye over their shoulder. For someone who is always a little scared of being spied on (I cover my phone and laptop cameras for that exact reason), that kinda sounds like torture. Seeing Things was a fun way to crank that paranoia up to a hundred. It was especially fun writing the museum scene because I tried thinking of things that are just ever so slightly off, things that theoretically could exist but clearly don’t.

I also threw in other things I’m scared of, like being watched, being followed, the dark, and the bathroom at night just to be extra mean to Twilight <3

Anyway, I’m rambling and this analysis post will be a novel if I keep this up.

Guy’s Night

I do recognize the insane tone shift going from Seeing Things to Guy’s Night.

What is there to even say about Guy’s Night? I got the idea from Psych (the Last Night Gus episode) who got the general basic from the Hangover movies. I wrote it all out in a few days, one of which I was sick in bed. I don’t know what to say.

Looking back on it, I don’t love the way it turned out. I’m glad I wrote it but where I usually don’t mind rereading my stuff for fun I do kinda cringe at Guy’s Night. It relies on a lot of contrivances which I tried masking with humor but it’s still a bit obvious. If you make a timeline of the previous night’s events, it only kinda makes sense.

It doesn’t help that I went into it with no plan whatsoever. I just sat down and said what happens happens. When I wrote in chapter one that something had happened between Loid and Yor, I didn’t know what that was. When I wrote Loid saying “we need to see what’s on that camera film” I was right there next to him saying “buddy, so do I because I have no idea.” When wrote Franky saying that his friend Marko might have answers, I was hoping he would too because I, like everyone else, didn’t know what was going on either.

The ONE thing I DID know was that Twilight got a tattoo the night before. That was it. That’s all.

I don’t typically plan out everything when I write but I usually have a good idea. For Guy’s Night, I had a bad idea in that I had no idea. It kinda shows. Sorry.

That being said, it was incredibly fun writing their drunk shenanigans and banter. The dynamic between Twilight, Franky, and Yuri was so goofy that I’ve seriously debated writing a sequel of sorts. However that’s incredibly unlikely. If I ever do write a sequel, it’d be a Girl’s Night with Yor and a combination of female characters, probably Sylvia and Fiona.

After Peace (and Glimpses of Happiness)

A quick heads up: I don’t go into detail but I do discuss mental illness in this segment.

I am incredibly proud of how After Peace turned out. Not only did it receive a really good reception for being my first fic ever, but it also helped me work through some things in my own life. It’s important to give some context.

I wrote After Peace shortly after graduating college. I won’t go into specifics, but college was really, really difficult for me. I had been so excited for this next step in my life after graduating high school but instead it turned out to be one of the hardest experiences of my life. Depression came out of nowhere and stomped me into the ground.

I used to have very high expectations for myself; I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do with my life and I was taking steps to work towards those goals. Then my mental health tanked and suddenly everything just felt so difficult and pointless. I’d sleep all day and then hate myself when the sun started to set because that meant I’d wasted an entire day doing nothing when I was supposed to be working towards something. But I just couldn’t do it anymore.

That’s something I’ve noticed that a lot of media gets wrong about depression sometimes. It doesn’t always make you feel sad. Sometimes it just sucks everything out of you—sadness, happiness, anger, everything. I stopped drawing, stopped listening to music, stopped eating, stopped exercising, stopped doing everything that I enjoyed because it felt like the equivalent of doing the dishes. Everything was a chore, even the things that I liked.

What really changed things around was when my poor roommate, who was sick of me sleeping for twenty hours a day, dragged my sorry self to the free counseling services on campus. It’s doesn’t fix everything, but having someone who cares about you and you care about can really help your mental health.

Anyway, let’s not forget I’m talking about an anime fanfiction here haha.

After Peace really did start out as a couple of doodles but as I started to write it, I noticed that there were a lot of similarities between myself and Loid. No, I am not a former spy turned grumpy hermit, but I did once have great aspirations and now have to settle for what reality offers me. Realizing that worth comes from simply existing was something that I had to understand in order to begin my recovery process.

I’ve always found it kind of sad that if you took away the goal of world peace from Twilight that you’re basically left with nothing. He doesn’t really have hobbies, no real friends, and he never takes a day off. That’s hardly sustainable. Would he really be happy when there’s nothing left to do? I’d like to think so, but I wanted to see what would happen if he wasn’t.

I mentioned this in the end note, but After Peace was also influenced by this comic I was working on years ago that had the similar premise of “grumpy man learns to enjoy life with the help of a young girl” (very original, I know). I doubt that I’ll ever release that comic in the capacity I once intended, but it does live on in my secret second tumblr account of you ever manage to find it.

Anyway, I was worried about writing After Piece because Anya plays a big role and I am Not Good at writing children. It was hard striking a balance between making Anya likeable but still realistic. I don’t interact with children often and, as a youngest sibling, I don’t have much experience with them. Anya has so many layers—being a test subject, being a telepath, being a child—that it was hard managing them all. But I’m okay with how she turned out.

There is a slight problem in that she basically disappears once Yor shows up D:

I debated having Yor in the fic at all but then I realized that without her the emotional climax would have to rely on a four year old’s emotional intelligence and then decided right then and there that Yor had to be in it haha.

Yor’s whole deal with accidentally killing the wrong person was kind of a last minute addition. I do wish I was able to explore that more, but I also feel like she’s emotionally mature enough to forgive herself more quickly than Twilight would. She ends up serving a bit of a role model to him. It was also nice to be able to write them interacting with the truth out on the table and for them to be honest with each other.

Pacing was something that I was very concerned with. Looking back on it now, I’m still worried that things move along a bit quickly. However, I am reminded of some advice my graphic design professors gave me: “Good design is when nothing more can be take away.” And, because I was writing this as fast as possible, you best believe I was taking things away if I didn’t need them. I didn’t want to fall into the trap of dwelling on Twilight’s thoughts for too long so I instead opted for showing him progressing through experiences instead. I think it worked out.

However because I took so many things out I decided to start Glimpses of Happiness, a supplementary fic to After Peace that fills in the cracks, so to speak. I wanted to have more moments between Twilight and the other characters, like stargazing with Anya and growing close to Yor. Right now there’s only one chapter, but I have plans for at least a few more. I also thought it was important to highlight that mental health recovery never truly ends. Just because Yor and Twilight had a nice chat on the roof doesn’t mean that things are suddenly okay. It’s a long process that sometimes never ends and I wanted to show that.

Of course, I can’t talk about After Peace without addressing the Midwest allegations. As I said, yes, this fic was inspired by my childhood in the American Midwest, even though I was nowhere near any mountains. The Midwest is a silly place full of nothing to do but go to your local Walmart for fun, but I think it served a good enough setting for Twilight to chill out and slow down. If I really wanted to do full Midwest, I’d have Twilight watch a tornado touch down on a cornfield from his truckbed, but that feels sort of out of place.

I feel like there’s more to say but I can’t think of anything and I doubt anyone’s actually gonna read all the way down here anyway. But yeah, that’s After Peace.

Oh, and the A.M. AM by Damien Jurado Youtube video currently has nine comments that mentjon falling from a five story building, which I think is really funny.

So now what?

Against my better judgement, I’m still writing. I have a couple projects in the works, especially one big big big one that hopefully I can start publishing soon. Keep an eye out for that.

In the meantime, thanks for a great year! I hope 2025 holds more great things in store for us all!

-unso ^. .^<

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #73 – Saga, Book 3 by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples

I first read Saga as it was coming out until it went on hiatus – which means that, as of finishing this book, I am as far into the narrative as I ever got (which remains a goddamn sadistic spot to leave a story on for literal years). Happily, the comic has now basically lived up to my vague nostalgia for it entirely. Also it is even more ruthless with its cast than I remembered.

The story follows star-crossed science fantasy lovers Marka and Alana and their crime-against-most-of-the-galaxy daughter Hazel (plus assorted friends, hangers on, and soul-bound ghostly babysitters) as they try to find somewhere safe from the agents of their former governments trying to hunt them down an actually make a peaceful life for themselves. The book starts with them finding a few months of peace living among other refugees on the burned up husk of a warzone, and basically just keeps going downhill from their. In fairness, so do the lives of basically everyone who was hunting them.

Saga has always talked a lot about the horribly arbitrary and random nature of violence, the way someone’s entire life can be ruined in a heartbeat for the momentary convenience of the guy holding the gun. It has been...less consistent about always walking the walk, here – characters die in tragic and arbitrary ways, but there have also been a lot of murders shown as cool or badass or just funny because they happen to people whose entire characterization was being kind of an asshole. This whole book is basically the pendulum swinging around on that – it’s trying to really show the costs of war and vendetta, and growing up through the near-random death of one person or thing you care about after another.

This happens in a bunch of ways, and most of them work! This is still hardly the most politically subtle book in the world – coming out in America in 2017 there is a whole volume about a woman with a late-term miscarriage needing to find a back-alley abortionist to remove the fetus because she’s too far along for touching it to be legal. Which they find by going to Abortion Town on the Abortion Planet, because comics – but the writing and character work keeps it from ever feeling that didactic even there. And it is all just amazingly juicy, angst-filled drama. I mean, if you’re the sort of person who loves finishing a work of art an then being very sad. If you’re not I don’t really know what to tell you here

The book also just amazing use of its medium to sell the emotional punches, here. It’s not quite to the level of, say, Wicked and the Divine (to strain my incredibly small comic reference pool to the breaking point) but the final issues of the Pheng arc and the finale both made the best use I can imagine of the comic as an artifact to make you feel the horror and/or tragedy. Even using the space of the letters column at the end of the book to increase the effect, in one case.

The letters column remains both a delight and a fascinating cultural artifact (also, people will just admit to some wild shit in these – s/o to the guy who wrote asking for advice about whether to have an affair with a coworker). Vaughan’s commitment to printing letters from people who seem to have deep ideological objections to the entire mission of the project and giving the literary equivalent of a smile and nod also just became rather funny at some point.

This isn’t a perfect book – in particular, Ianthee’s whole role in the narrative is deeply hurt by making her probably the most singularly loathsome and lacking in positive qualities character in the entire story so far – but it is a very good one. And I am once again going to be left waiting with that finale for a few months, because there are 17 issues released since they came back from hiatus and I might as well just wait for the next hardcover at this point.

[theladyelara]

Death Note 'The Game Begins' Remixed

Hello! I'm gonna start a little series about rewriting/remixing the English Death Note Musical songs. Most of the edits will be based off input from the Japanese versions of these songs! (plus some added literary analysis from an English major :D) The melody and arrangement I'm leaving exactly the same! All we're doing, is trying out some new lyrics. Let's begin!

Now I love The Game Begins in English, but the Japanese goes for a very different message. In English, TGB paints L as a very detached, emotionless computer (fr the computer references always felt like a bit much…) and it mostly explains his approach to cases—all cases—and showcases his skill and enthusiasm for solving another puzzle. 

The Japanese, on the other hand, comes out swinging as a psychoanalysis smack down of Kira’s ideology and way of thinking, at which point L personally vows to bring him down with the hook, ‘you’re an eyesore, so how about I play a game with you’. Notably, L sings this song directly to Kira, using the ‘you’ voice the entire time. It’s personal, emotional, condemning. 

Empty your mind of any theories Till all the facts are in Here’s something new, intriguing series Ripe secrets held within

The minor edits to the first verse give L more personality beyond ‘computer’. There’s the implied enjoyment of an intriguing case, and ripe secrets, which I feel falls more in line with who L is as a person. The lost lines, ‘start at the end of all your queries, to learn where things begin’ feels redundant enough to cut, plus I also never really understood the motif of working backwards in this song, except to justify the next lines which I left because they’re great. 

You analyse by working backwards Effects reveal their cause For even perfect crimes have perfect flaws A child’s rage is Kira’s calling He calls it ‘justice’ still I lie in wait, instead of stalling To find the point of thrill I poke and prod to find a weakness Where the bend becomes the break And make the most of Kira’s first mistake

Here we try to get more into L’s estimation of Kira. He spends much longer in the Japanese delivering better cut-downs which the original English lacks: ‘the ideal you are presenting is a cross of lies’, ‘you’re only lightly tracing the surface, conceitedly thinking you understand everything’. At least here in the edit he gets to call Kira a child, and deride his justice. This also is a nod to the deduction he makes, that Kira is a childish person. Again, ‘point of thrill’ gestures towards L’s personality as someone who enjoys the puzzle, like a game, which is the point of the song. I left the back half of the verse, because I enjoy it greatly. I think it is important to establish L as hypercompetent, and he is a little detached.

The game begins the same way Our course is set, we’re in for all Something about you moves me But I know I’ll still see you fall The game begins

The lost lines mostly reinforce the computer motif throughout the original, and just illustrate L’s method and determination.  The edit ‘in for all’ can reinforce the game symbolism, as well as the later ‘the die is cast’ line. Either way, this edit line goes to showing L’s determination as well.

The next line ‘something about you moves me’ showcases L’s more personal investment in this case, sort of accepting Kira as his rival and investing enough to risk his life for the first time on this case. This heightens the personal stakes, and builds up the relationship between L and Light. Then the final line brings it back to L’s confidence, assurity, and skills. 

He thinks he owns all information He’s certain he’s ahead Anticipate his adaptation Untangle every thread Some little thing, some minor detail You’ve overlooked and then I will be waiting here again

Again, the lost lines don’t do much other than use the computer motif and make L sound smart. Here the edit tries to get more character building for L, especially in contrast with Kira. At least here I get more derision in, but i just want to highlight the Japanese lyrics cause booiiii ‘While you’re flying the flag of your majestic ideals, you’re prancing about toying with people’s lives. You’ve long since abandoned any sense of fear, you poor fool, so let me show you a taste of Hell'

The game begins the same way Our course is set, we’re in for all Something about you moves me But I know I’ll still see you fall The game begins the same way The chase is on the die is cast Connecting bits of data Until I chase you down at last!

Only note here, I choose ‘connecting bits of data’ instead of ‘I sift a thousand pixels’, simply because we’ve lost most of the computer references, so I thought the first sounded more natural without that support.

The game begins!

I think the edit strikes more of a balance between the English and Japanese, but perhaps I’ll make a more substantial edit to more closely translate the Japanese, because the Japanese lyrics are truly delightful. I still really like the English version, and there are some turns of phrase that I enjoy, but perhaps some other time I’ll kill more darlings.

Lmk what you thought, and stay tuned for more!

OG English Lyrics

Japanese Lyrics

Japanese Lyrics (Japan 2015 production)

[miitopias]

would also like ur thoughts on everything i will listen to u talk abt video games always LOL but 6 9 12 22 28!

thank uu and likewise 🫶🫶 will not answer everything bc thts so many but also i feel like ive covered a lot of these topics before on my sideblog but! i will answer these for u 🫰

6. A series you’ve enjoyed since your early days of gaming and still enjoy to this day whether it still has games coming out or is one you return to pokemon and rhythm heaven :') ❤️ from these series ive only played platinum and rhds as a kid, so as an adult ive been enjoying their other titles.. though i do not rly care for 3d pokemon titles.. but with time that may change. and wait technically final fantasy, bc i had the ff4 ds cartridge as a kid. except it was in japanese and i had no idea how to play it and did fuck all. i didnt even realize it was final fantasy until years later when i played ff7, and i recognized the running from battle animation. and now i have final fantasy brainrot <3

9. A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved ff9 and ghost trick 😎 im so happy i played these without any spoilers or any idea what to expect, bc i really think thats the best way to experience them

12. A character you particularly like in the game you’re currently playing YRP girlies 😎😎😎 idk when ill ever finish x-2 cuz this ps3 is kinda busted, but despite their kinda cringe dialogue i still love yuna and the girlies

22. A game ending that’s really stuck with you FF9....... i think u saw my insanity firsthand when i did not shut up about it for like 8 months 😭 it really changed my life bc it was ff9 that really made me get more serious w literary analysis of games and medias in general, bc i just wanted to understand everything abt this story. majora's mask similarly changed my life and was the reason i made a sideblog to begin with, because i NEEDEDDD to be insane about this game somewhere.. god what an ending. god. ok im not going to go insane abt it rn LOL my focus is on Spider-Man now.

28. Pick a series you like. What was the first game you played for it? Was it a good starting point? Would it still be a good starting point now? i wont pick final fantasy bc my answer is literally the same as yours LOL so um... i will pick zelda. my first zelda game was botw and honestly that is an AWFUL starting point for getting into zelda JFKLJSDL bc its just so. fucking different from every zelda game out there. and also bc its a love letter to the franchise, that probably a million references flew over my head bc i didnt know what they were referencing. but yeah like its just absolutely awful to go from a game where you can freely jump to a game where you have to ROLL.

but at the same time i dont think botw is an awful starting point. bc like.... its a good game. its a good Modern game. like the older zelda games, especially the 3d titles, are extremely outdated. i dont think anyone should be playing those in this day and age when botw/totk is there to experience instead. while not ideal, i think its fine to hit it off with a modern switch title, then work your way down to older titles.

of course 2d zeldas are a different thing. dare i say, the superior thing. also i dont believe anyone should get into zelda. bad franchise. except when the games are good. all pondering aside the best starting point for zelda is ALBW, then MM3D. maybe some MINISH CAP as a treat. those are the only existing zelda titles. to me. but jokes aside if someone is really gonna have a 'starting point' for zelda games then its definitely BOTW/TOTK or ALBW. doesnt matter whether its a switch title or ALBW played first, but its very very very very important that ALBW is played as well.

[everythingundertheskycomics]

As promised, some of my literary analysis that made its way into this comic!

Hypno-potamus, as of his first appearance in Rise of the TMNT, is a very insecure character.

The reason he initially found his way onto the TMNT's radar? Hindering other magicians by stealing their trick animals—and in a later episode, becoming supremely jealous of a random high school student's magic act going viral, and inserting himself into that situation, to the detriment of everyone present—including himself, having fallen victim to his own magic hat trap.

^ That is not the face of a happy, well-adjusted mutant hippo.

In terms of dyslexia, this misspelled "stupid turtles" drawing was seen in Hypno and Warren's shared apartment, and earlier in the series, in luring them to the trap in New Jersey, we see another "turtles" misspelling spray-painted on the sign.

In my own little pile of headcanons, I weighed the options, and decided that of the pair, it was ultimately more interesting to interpret Warren as being dyslexic, rather than make silly assumptions. Besides, Warren Stone is an extremely self-satisfied individual—maybe he's got a reason to be that proud!

Speaking of New Jersey... Look at him! Hypno's making friends. (Mostly really, really, scary friends.)

And he goes along with their plan, even though, "As an actual magician I'm offended by this charade".

In terms of Hypno's mystic mutation not harming his profession, let's see how the Magic Town House treats the MAGNIFICENT Mesme-Ron—now newly mutated, minus his beloved trick animal, and going by a new name.

For reference, here's the image of Hypno pre-mutation!

We find that, displayed inside the Magic Town House...

...Are a variety of images featuring both Hypno's pre- AND post-mutation designs.

Here's a couple more that I'd rule fall more into the "illusion" category than the "Actual Magic Town House interior", but are worth a look! The detail work the Rise crew includes in this show is BREATHTAKING.

Being a magical mutant hippo does not seem to have harmed Hypno's professional career—he's even updated his flyers to capitalize on his apparent success!

Meanwhile, on that same bulletin board, Warren Stone...Isn't faring well.

Warren has also updated his flyer, which advertises his abilities as a "Public Speaker" but someone's defaced it, writing "Loser" and slapping a big ole red "X" over Warren.

Sorry, buddy.

But hey! Since public speaking's not working out, there's an opportunity to go into business with his roomie!

...Yaaay?

Hypno begins the series pretty desperate for respect—and in some ways, he gains the respect he craves!

Big Mama considers him an entertaining enough player to include him (read: KIDNAP him) within her "Battle Nexus Wizbang" event.

His behavior during and after said event are pretty pivotal to his personal arc—someone finally respects him enough to think he's a challenge!

As Big Mama proclaimed: "Each of you is linked to an enemy, and you'll need to work together to complete a challenge against one of my BATTLE NEXUS CHAMPIONS!"

"Cortex is the smartest Yōkai in the Hidden City—and the CRUELEST. Lose, and he keeps the turtle in his collection of game pieces!

Oh no! How horrible for Hypno—wait. That threat doesn't affect him. Oh well! Presumably Big Mama's got something else nasty up her sleeve.

Still...Out of all the turtle & enemy pairs in this competition, Donatello and Hypno—despite having the least communication—display the most teamwork. (Not meaning to dismiss Ghostbear! But Hypno received some extra brownie points at the end, which Ghostbear didn't stick around for.)

...Maybe Hypno's behavior has something to do with his most recent interaction with the turtles at the Magic Town House, wherein the solution to his fashion trap was: "learn[ing] the power of self-love in order to break free"?

He's arguably grown more benign by this point in the series, even though he's been spending more time around the more extreme "villains" of the series.

Hypno, watching the turtles happily reunite, calls out: "Brotherly love! YEAH! That's what I've been talking about!" He moves to high-five one of his peers, and is met with: "Put that away—you're embarrassing yourself, Hypno."

Ouch.

When Leo threatened Big Mama, he initially counted crabby Carl, Meat Sweats, and Hypno as allies against their mutual enemy, Big Mama: "We've got you outnumbered six to one!"

...While Hypno may have been the only non-cannibalism-inclined villain present—that didn't quite stop him from hightailing it away rather than help the turtles in their fight.

...Baby steps.

Pride and Joy.

Hippo Crush

4/4

Previous

I hope y'all have enjoyed this Warren-and-Hypno-centric arc!

Next time, a short peek into our Sunset Duo's background shenanigans in Criminal Engagement!

[whaleiumsharkspeare]

Okay okay okay okay you guys have been waiting on an update to Sidetracked since like, November and I haven’t written one so I’m gonna try to actually get some writing done

I mean the Super Bowl is like 3 hours long or something so might as well do something with my time

[toh-tagteam-au]

Is Hunter still going to be aroace in your au?

EDIT: I’m going to be sticking with Aro Hunter going forward, and I appreciate all the replies to this post! I’m keeping this up for personal reference, but just a heads up I’m no longer unsure. 

Original answer below:

----

Im glad you asked this because I've been wanting to make a separate post about this since Labyrinth Runners but I kept chickening out. Apologies for the wall of text in advance.

Full disclosure + some context before I get into it: I really like keeping Tag Team as close to canon as I possibly can. It's why towards the beginning of development I kept certain plot points open ended. I'm lucky that I didn't have to retcon any comic parts that were already posted pre-season 2b (the next few updates would have been ruined by some of the reveals in Hollow Mind, so I'm kind of glad I waited).

I never really expected Hunter to get into a relationship/hint at attraction at all back when it was season 2a, so I was comfortable having him be aroace since the chances of it being conflicting with canon were slim. I was in the group of people who were like "there's no way his character arc would have that much time/it would be rushed/wouldn't make sense if it did happen" etc. Plus, I'm aro myself. I was kind of excited to do a storyline that sort of reflected my own experiences with attraction and lack thereof. And I liked the ships that fandom brought forward, but I wasn't expecting them to move past the crack-ship category. So again, I felt secure in my canon-compliant-ness of Hunter's aro-ness.

But season 2b introduced the REALLY INTERESTING concept of Hunter and Willow actually being canon somehow. Or at least Hunter being attracted to her in some way. I was fascinated. Their actual canon dynamic is GREAT!! Teen soldier who was introduced as a hard-ass gets blushy at a school girl who can and would kick his shit in and is implied to not even think of him romantically yet. Not to mention the whole narrative catharsis at seeing a clone of Caleb, notorious husband of a witch, also falling for a girl. I love it SO MUCH!

So that brings me to an unfortunate choice I was sort of hoping you guys would help me with?

On one hand, I love Hunter and Willow. I love that they're implied to be a potential thing and that they'll have more dev in season 3. Their dynamic is my jam and it makes so much literary sense that they'd have chemistry, not to mention it just brings out the best in both of their developments in canon (Willow being a nervous shy girl with no self esteem turning into someone who can and will kick the emperor's ass to save her friends, Hunter being a heavily abused high ranking child solider turning into a blushy mess in front of a strong girl). I just love it. Nothing about his sexuality has come up in-comic so far, so I wouldn't have to retcon anything to make that a thing in TT.

On the other hand,,, I've already said that TT!Hunter is aro on this blog. I've sort of built up/mentioned this pseudo-romance arc he was going to have around the Grom episode. A lot of you seemed super excited about him being aro back when I first mentioned it, and I don't want to disappoint you guys and fake you out by being "surprise!!! he's allo!!!" I guess I could have him be Demiromantic or just ace to keep that vibe of aspec, but I don't want it to feel like a consolation prize either.

So it's this unfortunate back and forth between me really liking Willow and Hunter/wanting to keep things as canon as possible, versus sticking to what I've said out-of-universe in the past. I kind of get the sense that both options have their own baggage – I'm unsure if the aro hunter vs hun//tlow discourse is as intense as my dash makes it out to be since I try to avoid it and I generally like both options, but choosing one kind of feels like I have to choose a side. So I wanted to ask you guys what you think/want to see.

Feel free to reply to this post, say ur opinions in the tags, or send me asks on what you think. I probably won't respond to all of them, but I'll definitely read them all and take them into account.

[meeko-mar]

The more I think about it, the more I might be signing on to the theory that Izuku KNOWS his trigger is Kacchan, and he just hasn't admitted/confronted it yet...At least, that we have yet seen.

Hold my non-alcoholic beverage.

Once again, let's preface with the fact that we have SEEN with our own eyes, that Kacchan has been the trigger of two specific incidents, being Monoma insulting Kacchan and Izuku becoming angry enough to manifest Black Whip.

And second, Kacchan following him into danger, and then getting impaled and nearly dying to protect him, which then triggered possibly the most RAGE we have ever seen Izuku possess, AND the manifestation of Danger Sense, AND caused him to literally throw himself at AFO/Shigaraki which put him immediately under threat of having OFA stolen. Obviously, the vestiges protected the Quirk, but the fact still stands that the rage the a Izuku felt was enough to drive him LITERALLY into Shigaraki's hands, despite how very very dangerous that was. Izuku LOST HIMSELF so badly that he could have lost the entire war right there, if The Vestiges hadn't protected him and the Quirk.

The moment when All Might and Kacchan are trying to coach him and find the connection that brought about Black Whip. The mention of an external factor, and Izuku's avoidance of saying what that factor was(Kacchan being insulted, as we ALL know and explicitly saw), and arguably his words of "It's not something I can handle right now" seem a bit suspicious.

(NOTE: I've said before, that I had slight skepticism that this line about not being able to handle it and putting a lock on something, was meant to refer to the power he unlocked, however, watching season 5 has made me remember that, after the chaotic manifestation, and talking to Lariat, and realizing that Black Whip was part of his Quirk and therefore there to HELP him, and he had successfully used it without losing control because he ACCEPTED that it was a power that was there to help, not hurt him. I am not so sure that Izuku's "lock" is referring to the power anymore, but rather, his feelings for Kacchan.

But, I have new perspective that maybe, like others were pointing out, maybe it IS referring to the actual TRIGGER. IE, his feelings for Kacchan/his anger on his behalf.

I could be wrong, of course? But stay with me because this is a part of a larger context)

So, after the War arc, after Kacchan got gravely injured on his behalf, after hospitalization, we are given one thing before Izuku suddenly leaves. But it was KACCHAN's perspective, Kacchan waking up and being desperate to get to Izuku, and getting DENIED at the door. We are shown Kacchan's desperation to make sure Izuku's ok, but so far, even well after waking up, we are NOT SHOWN Izuku's worry over Kacchan's condition. We are suddenly FLUNG into a brand new world where Izuku is a drop-out "vigilante" working on the villain activity outside of school, cleaning up villains and questing to find out how villains come to be in their own minds.

We've seen him talk to his mom before he leaves. We've seen him talk to Gran Torino.

But we haven't seen him talk to ANY of his friends yet, ESPECIALLY KACCHAN. When there has been such a fantastic amount of tension placed on that particular relationship, after not only the sacrifice Kacchan made, but also, and particularly, the FOCUS that was placed on Kacchan trying to REACH HIM and FAILING.

We've all been forced to inhale a deep breath as Kacchan charged down that hallway yelling for Deku, and we are STILL HOLDING THAT BREATH. There is a huge, poignant LOOSE END there that is hanging over our head. We are still waiting for the payoff.

So like that scene, in theory, Izuku is still avoiding how he feels so strongly about Kacchan that he can be triggered into rage over him being hurt?

Actually, no, I think this sudden change to Izuku is very much him finally acknowledging it and acting on it.

The reason we have so much unresolved tension still hanging over Kacchan and Izuku's non-reunion, the reason Hori set up this big conflict that hasn't been resolved yet, why he showed us Kacchan trying to see Deku and not an ounce of Izuku wanting to see Kacchan before he leaves,

is that Izuku is actively trying to distance himself from Kacchan.

He did say that the reason he won't be returning to UA is of course because AFO could find him at any time and he would place everyone around him in danger.

But Kacchan? I think Izuku is still very much traumatized by the fact that he witnessed Kacchan taking a would-be fatal blow for him and falling out of the sky, drenched in blood.

I think he probably realizes that if Kacchan follows him into battle again, there's a real chance it could happen again... Or worse, AFO/Shigaraki, now knowing what a touchy button that is for Izuku, could actively target Kacchan on the battlefield, kill him, and/or use him against Izuku.

And Izuku is in the literary stage where the protagonist thinks that the love they have for someone else is a weak point and a danger/liability to those he loves, and so tries to shoulder all the burden themselves an shut the other out. He doesn't want his friends involved, he doesn't want Kacchan involved.

Because he knows that his love for Kacchan is his weakness. He's finally acknowledging that when Kacchan is hurt or slighted, he tends to lose himself. He loses control of his heart, and this is not something they can afford at this point in the game. Defeating AFO is now or never. (and he just desperately doesn't want Kacchan to be hurt for him anymore.)

He is going to have to learn, however, that, like Kacchan says to him, he can't keep playing the Hero on his own. And that their love can be their greatest strength, instead of a weakness.

So he's left, probably without a conversation with Kacchan. Hori is holding out on showing us this, building onto that tension, and I feel like he has some very significant pay off coming up. We haven't been shown any such conversation because he wants us to keep holding that breath for a little longer.

And if I'm right, it's gonna be dramatic when Izuku breaks down about this to Kacchan, finally. There was also some theories that Kacchan v. Deku 3 is going to follow the progression of their relationship and have this one center around Izuku's feelings being laid bare and Kacchan "accepting his feelings" as Izuku had done for him in KvD2, I think I'm a fan of this theory.

So yeah, Izuku knows that Kacchan is his trigger and purposely left without him for that reason.

That's basically my theory. Probably not the first one to think this, but I thought I'd write about it anyway. to get it outta my head, lmao.

Alsooo, yeah this is tagged for my Bakudeku peeps, and I use the word "love" in this, but you can read that as you will, either platonic or possibly romantic, not here to say this theory calls for canon romantic feelings between BKDK because that's not really my point, but at this point denying that they love each other in SOME capacity is being blind.

Ship or don't ship, but I legitimately think this is the psychology of Izuku's decision right now.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Don’t get me wrong, Jungkook’s photos were absolutely gorgeous and I did indeed purchase his photo book, but with all the elements and symbolism we are already seeing from Jimin’s concept in just 2 teasers, I must say that Jungkook’s twilight vampire theme seems pretty basic in comparison. Jungkook’s beautiful face and ability to wear anything well is what mostly carried his pictorial. It’s kind of ironic that with all his tattoos and edgy piercings he often tends to take the safest routes creatively, even outside of the BTS sphere, not just with concepts but with his music as well. I would like to see more from him in terms of depth and variety and I hope he delivers that as his solo career progresses. His My Time solo performance was the closest he has ever come to really surprising me. Meanwhile Jimin is well on his way to meeting and surpassing all expectations I had for his solo era. He keeps me guessing, I can’t figure him out and I love that. He is so intelligent and I’m happy that he is now able to show just how knowledgeable he is outside of the mould of BTS. I am so excited to see what else he has in store for us.

I don't mind making comparisons, I don't believe there's anything wrong with that, despite the message stan twitter is currently sending. When we are presented with a project idea and we have several examples of how it can look (3 until now), it's really difficult not to look at each and compare. There is also a big dose of personal taste and subjectivity which is the main reason why this line of thinking is to be expected and definitely not a way to set up someone for criticism (god, I hate twitter people, they reallt like to flaunt how unneducated they are).

Anyway, back to your actual ask. I also ordered Jungkook's photofolio, I can't wait for it to be delivered, but if I somehow ended up in a situatiom where I had to choose between JK and JM's concept idea and execution, in this case I would go with Jimin. But, I also don't believe that Jungkook's pictorial can be reduced at just being inspired by Twilight, his pretty face and ability to wear the outfits. This is where I disagree with you, simply because I think there's more to it. JK may have said things and used that information in the setting inspired by Twillight, but his theme was time difference. And the result looked more inspired by Anne Rice, than any other pop culture, currently more well known vampire story. The point is, he told a story. His project was indeed conceptual and he was just as involved in every detail, including how dark the teaser should look. I actually think he was once again showing his creativity and using the opportunity to create a character. That's why it stood out so much. And that's why I love Jimin's idea as well. They both chose to be storytellers. Jungkook took a well-known literary reference and perhaps he only played a character and Jimin is creating himself. Their purpose is different, but the means are quite similar.

Perhaps Jungkook did take safer routes (indeed, My Time stands out), but we also have no idea how his solo album is going to sound like or how it's going to be conceptualized. A collab with Puth or some covers are not enough or perhaps very far from what Jungkook would do with his own music. This is something that we can only wait for. Jimin is surpassing all expectations and there is a buzz now because he mostly kept quiet about anything that had no connection to BTS, so the impact is perhaps greater. But I still remember the reaction I had (and others as well) when the first photo teaser of Jungkook was published. Everyone was shocked.

What I'm trying to say is, ultimately, we have our preferences and at the end of the way, we can simply like something more. But as much as my personal taste is closer to Jimin's concept, I do believe that both of them understood what are the possibilities with this project and how they can use it in order to show more about them, and not just as BTS members. That's a huge step forward.

[thebreakfastgenie]

What is your problem? You waited weeks to answer an ask so that when you did publish it the asker would look like they were talking nonsense so you would have the opportunity to condescend to them. You then further condescended by saying they were wrong in every way but rather than explaining why you were right, you just said you know you're right because you have a better-than-average "gaydar"?

I waited a couple of days to answer the ask because I was in New York City at a concert which I have been posting about nonstop. I didn't get the ask until this week, even though the conversation it referenced was a couple weeks ago. My problem is that it took me a minute to figure what anon was talking about and I'm still only mostly sure I guessed right, because that post did happen weeks ago. I'm guessing anon just saw it and didn't realize it was from a while back because tumblr is notoriously bad at datestamping, so I'm not mad about it, but I was trying to humorously remind people that they need to provide more context if they want me to understand what their asks are about.

I didn't say they were wrong in every way, I literally said I agreed with their conclusion, just not their reasoning, and explained why.

I know you're just trying to get a rise out of me, but I'm going to respond to the rest of this anyway. I didn't mention my own gut reaction until the end because it's not actually evidence that I'm right, I just thought it was worth mentioning as a supplement, because it is one of only two times I reacted that way, and when someone who usually doesn't react picks up on something it can be a sign that there is something there.

I knew someone was going to react that way to my gaydar specificity but it was so funny to me that I made it anyway. I was not saying I have a better-than-average gaydar; if anything, I was saying the opposite.

Sensitivity and specificity are properties of a diagnostic test. Sensitivity refers to a test's ability to correctly diagnose a positive result, while specificity refers to a test's ability to correctly diagnose a negative result. A test with high sensitivity will turn up more positive results, which means it also turns up more false positive results. A test with higher sensitivity will turn up more false negative results, meaning it misses more positive cases. Here's an example of a hypothetical test:

This test was given to a population of 10. 3 have whatever condition is being tested for, while 7 do not. There were 4 positive tests, but only 2 of those really had the condition, while one who really had the condition tested negative.

This test has a specificity of about 71% and a sensitivity of about 67%, so this test is better at correctly identifying negative results than correctly identifying positive results.

Increasing either specificity or sensitivity decreases the other so it's very important when developing a diagnostic test and screening program to decide which one to prioritize. It usually depends on the relative consequences of false positives and false negatives.

These concepts come up a lot in introductory epidemiology courses, so I was having a little fun by applying stuff I learned in grad school to fandom stuff. My point was that I'm usually the one saying I don't think something is gay when the rest of the fandom does, or I can see it if I look for fun but the intended explanation is very obvious to me. I'm less likely to have a false positive gay interpretation--believing something is gay when it definitely was not in canon--but I'm also more likely to have a false negative and miss something that was intended as subtext. Most people I encounter in fandom have gaydars with high sensitivity and low specificity, so they're very likely to pick up on intended subtext, but also see it when it isn't there. That's not necessarily entirely accurate in either case, because literary analysis isn't a diagnostic test, let alone fandom meta, but it's a fun metaphor to use and I felt like being silly.

I hope you all enjoyed this mini-lesson on specificity and sensitivity. This will be on the midterm.

[hamliet]

RWBY and the Philosopher’s Stone

So, I finally watched RWBY after a friend name-dropped several characters and I was like wait... those names are alchemical. I was still pleasantly surprised to find out just how deeply rooted in alchemy the story is, from its characters to its plot structure. 

Background: alchemical structure is a type of story structure that focuses on inner transformation via outward obstacles. You can find it in literary traditions across the world, from Moxiang Tongxiu’s novels to A Song of Ice and Fire to Harry Potter to The Witcher to Trollhunters. Carl Jung incorporated it into his psychology. Daoism plays heavily into Chinese alchemy. The Wizard of Oz, one of RWBY’s main inspirations, is a blatant alchemy allegory. It’s everywhere, so it’s not surprising RWBY is drawing heavily on alchemy, but it is neat to see how blatant the references are. 

Thematically, the goal of alchemy is a metaphorical philosopher’s stone. The philosopher’s stone, in legend, is said to produce an elixir of eternal life, and to be able to transform “baser” metals into gold. 

In stories, when positive, as it usually is, this usually results in a character either overcoming death (see, Harry Potter) and/or transforming the world and others around him (Harry Potter saving his friends, etc.) But the journey from how they get from prima materia (raw material) to the philosopher’s stone? Now that’s the story. 

(When reversed, a metaphorical stone results in something that can destroy everything; see: the One Ring, also Salem, because Salem’s whole thing is that she cheapened the process of life and death, while alchemy states that death is a necessary part of achieving life.)

So, mostly I’m gonna talk about the symbolism I’ve seen so far and make some predictions for what’s likely to happen next in the story, and for the characters.

Each of the four main characters has a name that corresponds to one of the four phases of the Magnum Opus. “Blake Belladonna” refers to the nigredo, or black stage; “Weiss Schnee” to the albedo, or white stage; “Yang Xiao Long” to the citrinitas or yellow phase, and “Ruby Rose” to the final stage, rubedo, or red (Ruby’s name is quite literally taken from that stage). Naming them for these stages shows a dual purpose: while Ruby is the central character, she needs her team around her, and Team RWBY will save the world together. Team JNR is also a part of the stages, but I’ll get to what they represent later on. 

Jung associated each of the major stages with a major archetype. The major stages can be further broken up into a total of seven or twelve or even fourteen stages. Most commonly you’ll see George Ripley’s Twelve Gates referenced, and I believe that’s what RWBY is referencing as well since its allusions are pretty perfect. The "gates” or stages also sometimes overlap, especially when different characters might be at different stages. 

Nigredo: Seasons 1-3 

Alchemy begins by gathering the prima materia, or raw material. The characters assembling in season 1 is more of the gathering than the actual transformative process. But once we hit season 2, we dive straight into the process. 

Calcination occurs during the climax of season 2, during the fight on the train. Season 3 contains dissolution, or the washing of impurities through the exposure of certain secrets (like the fall maiden) as well as the literal dissolution of Beacon Academy, and separation (the end of the season, when Team RWBY is scattered). 

Narratively, Jung associated nigredo with the shadow, with someone’s dark night of the soul, their low point. In historical artistic depictions, often part of nigredo is dismemberment... which happens to Yang when she saves Blake from Adam. See, Splendor Solis: 

The goal of the shadow is that it should be integrated with, accepted, rather than denied. Facing the shadow is a necessary part of growth and ultimate transformation... and the point is, through facing the shadow, hope and light come.  

Peacock’s Tail: Seasons 4-5

Okay, I lied, there are sometimes five phases in alchemy. At the very end of nigredo, just before albedo, there is sometimes a flash of light, of rainbows and colors, that give hope. It’s not quite a phase, more of a moment, but it’s referred to as the peacock’s tail. While this is less plot-related, it does make sense that this is the point in the story where Team RJNR is formed. Why? Because look at their colors:

Ruby: red, black

Jaune: yellow, blue

Ren: green, purple

Nora: white, pink, orange

Between them we’ve pretty much got the full rainbow. 

We also have, in Blake’s arc, the introduction of Ilia Amitola, whose last name is the Souix word for “rainbow.” 

Albedo: Seasons 5-7

Albedo is associated with the anima or animus, or the part of ourselves that we are lacking (it’s generally gendered as the male within a female and the female within a male, but please understand he’s not talking literally and more in terms of traditional qualities ascribed as feminine or masculine that we may repress), which more than fits the fact that this stage begins while team RJNR is literally wandering around a continent called Anima. 

Conjunction is a term in which all the separated parts that can be salvaged from the Nigredo come together. Obviously the main incident for this is the fight at the end of volume 5, but I’d argue it overlaps a bit with volume 4 and even with separation.

The characters are only able to come together again once they’ve accepted aspects of their shadows. Yang deals with hers in Raven and Blake with the White Fang. Nora and Ren’s fight at their home village represents them dealing with their shadow as well, and also relates to conjunction because conjunction is the stage where the first chemical wedding comes into play. A chemical wedding is the joining of alchemical partners, and while I’ll probably discuss ships in another post (there’s a lot of set up alchemy-wise), I’ll just reference the obvious one here: 

The fountain image and a person shooting arrows is some pretty uncannily similar imagery to the fight at Nora and Ren’s home village. 

Next up in albedo is putrefication (focus on death and rotting). We see this with the encounter with the Apathy, who look like skeletons, cause death, etc. We’re also introduced to Maria Calaveras, aka the Grimm Reaper. (Her last name also means “skull” aka the white results of putrefication). 

Congelation requires a lot of water, and we see this in the focus on Atlas, wherein snow (water) is everywhere. The point of congelation is to separate the thin from the thick, the latter of which will of course become the Philosopher’s Stone. We see this through Team RWBY’s break with the Ace-Ops (aka the Aesops), whose simplistic morality and rule-following are not going to bring about character growth or eternal life. 

Citrinitas: Volume 7-?

Citrinitas focuses on the light, or fire. That immediately after congelation, a giant whale brimming with yellow appears in the white-colored Atlas is not a coincidence. Citrinitas is associated with the sage or the wise old man/woman, so Maria and Pietro fill this role. 

The first stage of citrinitas is cibation, which involves feeding with fresh material. I’d actually say that it seems quite possible cibation overlaps with congelation, in that there is a focus on food and on training with the Ace-Ops early in Volume 7. The next phases are sublimation and fermentation. I can see potential for sublimation in that it essentially is when solid becomes air (think of the setting of Atlas), but it’s too soon to say what this means for the plot. 

Fermentation, though... well, things will get worse before they get better. :’) 

Rubedo: 

Finally, Rubedo is associated with the fully individualized self. We can assume each of the main seven will come into their own, confident of whom they are. Oscar should, as well, and probably will have fully control over his body by the end (ie Oz will likely... find rest or whatever).

The stages of rubedo are exaltation (the creation of the stone after two contraries meet), multiplication (the stones’ properties increase), and projection (the stone’s abilities are projected over the entire world, aka presumably RWBY will save the world). 

The most common way to display multiplication is through, well, a lot of couplings. It’s why the main characters ending single seems extremely unlikely to me. Even if it seems a fairy tale ending, well.... *gestures to everything about RWBY being inspired by fairy tales* Fairy tales were also often alchemy based. But ships will get their own meta, because I actually don’t really ship much besides Renora and am for once not super invested in anything, but I can see the set-up for four or five ships.

I also want to highlight the other symbolic names that stood out to me: 

Ironwood. While I know Ironwood references the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz (tin being one of seven metals associated with alchemy), his name also references a second metal: Iron. Tin and Iron are the two of the three basest metals in alchemy (the other is lead). Iron in particular is ruled by Mars, the god of war, meaning it is associated with violence. It’s not a coincidence that pretty much from the second Ironwood is introduced, the concept of war comes up, and his entire character has gone on to be the embodiment of the military and violence. 

Tai Xiao Long. His name literally means “sun,” and Ruby’s mother is defined by her silver eyes (silver being a color traditionally associated with the moon). Ruby is thus considered the child of the Solar King and Lunar Queen, two mythical alchemical figures who together create the “Philosophical Child,” or the personified philosopher’s stone.

Pietro Polendina: his name literally means “stone,” and Penny is his philosopher’s stone. Penny is arguably a reference to copper, another of the seven metals, as copper references compassion and love, which seems like Penny to me. 

Qrow and Raven Branwen: crows and ravens are symbolic of nigredo, or the black phase; death, decay, etc. However, within the story I think Qrow and Raven fulfill this role as the Jungian shadows of hunters as a whole and of Yang. 

Sun Wukong: obviously a reference to the sun. 

Emerald Sustrai: Emerald is a reference to the Emerald Tablet, which in alchemical lore is a tablet containing the secrets of alchemy, as written down by Hermes (in legend). Hermes is, of course, Mercury. Everything about alchemy stems from the Emerald Tablet, so Emerald should be important. In addition, green is the color of the prima materia, so it references Emerald’s arc in being shaped and molded by Cinder. 

Mercury Black: Mercury as the mythological god is the legendary founder of alchemy, so like, he’s important. Mercury is also the third most important metal in alchemy, after gold and silver. It is necessary to achieving the philosopher’s stone so, like Emerald, Mercury is probably important. Mercury is of particular note because mercurial characters are common in alchemical literature: they make stuff happen. Think of Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, for example. Mercury transcends death symbolically (you can see the roots of this in Mercury’s backstory with his assassin father): it is difficult to pin down and can quickly shift from liquid to solid. Thus, in alchemy, mercury can shift between life and death. 

Mercury is also a noted servant of the white queen. I initially thought this a surface reference to Salem’s appearance, and it might be, but Salem is more associated with a black queen in the recurring chess motif, and I don’t see Mercury staying on her side (mercury isn’t fixed, after all; that’s its central tenet), so I kind of wonder if the “white queen” will be later revealed. Or maybe it just is a surface mention.

[embossross]

I wanted to comment on the chapter 2 oh TDOTGITM but i can’t and idk why so I’m gonna leave my mark here.. lessgo.

FIRST OF ALL YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I CHECKED YOUR ACCOUNT LIKE A CREEPY STALKER FOR AN UPDATE !

*coughs*

Well, I have to do a review. You have to know that I literally shook all the way through my reading, I would have been so nervous in Yasuko's place.

« When you brush your hair after a shower or laugh at a meme, you imagine his violet eyes are watching. » this. My very definition of having a huge crush on someone, to the point where that person becomes an obsession (and how can you not be obsessed with Haitani Rindou ?) We littaraly saw them everywhere with us, watching us, talking with us.

Poor Yasuko, certain that he can't possibly be a yakuza... I can't wait to find out what her reaction will be when she learns it (if she learns it, but I guess so).

The discussion that starts almost timidly, when both parties are sizing each other up and discovering each other, then being more confiant, I live for that.

The way Rin talks about Ran, and the memories he shares with her, I've said it before, but I would die for their interactions in the first chapter.

« Sometimes, I think every good thing I have is bound to collapse, and that I should just submit to it, so maybe I find that resistance inspiring » I MEAN, CAN I STEAL THAT TOO ???

« We aren't going to be friends. » oh the way I giggled like a schoolgirl, I think I even BLUSHED.

WHY DOESN'T THIS MAN ACTUALLY EXIST ?

I won't even talk about the part where he asks her to follow him into the storeroom and for what was next, that was just 🤌🏻 I'm wordless.

Now I'm going to calm down, stop stalking your Tumblr for at least a week (but I'll still follow your Hanma's story closely hihi)

Anyway, funny, i have Kitchen in my book-to-read list !

Thank you, thank you, for imagining this universe, this Rin, Yasuko. I hope i’m not too annoying and I'll see you at the next review !

wow so much to say, i think i need bullets lol

this is the first time i'm seeing an acronym for this story & i am horrified. why are my titles so long?!?! 😑 i chose the title as a couple literary references but god

i can't believe tumblr is being this difficult. it must be because of the mature tagging? because someone else mentioned issues with reblogging? idk but i am SOOOOOOO grateful that you're sharing your thoughts here instead because i love them 💖

when do i find the time / energy / inspiration to write the rin/ran tag team that i frankly deserve? bc you are so right, their interactions are everything!

SQUEALING at the call out to the resistance line! because that's like the theme work i'm doing. i'm a sucker for theme & the tension between rindou & reader on this subject is the inspiration behind this whole story!! you CAN use it however you like!

honestly just every one of your call outs - so grateful!!

do you want me to tag you in things so you don't have to stalk the blog? i'd be happy to. probably no update next week. my parents are in town lol

and kitchen is great! a wonderful rumination on grief and love. i have a quotes doc for this story and like half were pulled from kitchen & snow country. i'm gonna have to control myself!

[fishmongeringstudies]

intermission: second-year sadness

November 20th, 2020, I am told, was the last day students were allowed to remain on campus last fall. The justification for this ridiculous, premature dismissal was that it was the first year of the pandemic, and now that we are well into the second I am able to say that it fits comfortably within the literary canon of sorrow we've found ourselves locked in, by which I mean: all right, we were all scared shitless, we all wanted to keep living. But suppose you were one of those students who, having been here for barely ten weeks, was asked, abruptly, to leave; suppose you were a freshman. Freshman fall turned summer camp. Your suitcase as heavy on the flight back as it was on the one over. Every dorm room vacated after two and a half months. Everything thrown away. Suppose your first memory of college was walking along a narrow plank and not knowing when you would be dropped into the sea.

winter break, I am told, was a hoarse, dry-mouthed affair. The dining hall opened at stuttering, inconsistent hours throughout December so people often ran hungry and cold and confused, and the number of students who had fought and fought and stayed was so few to begin with, what had been a ghost town of a campus to begin with lost its ghosts to a deep-seated sorrow and sunk into the snow. According to my friends who were here before I was, last fall was a murder and winter was a haunting and then spring came for all of us, smiling and smiling with a mouth full of flowers, but we were still lying on the ground, waiting for someone to rescue us from our loneliness. Spring stood in front of the boneless hope that had sustained us for the last six months and it cringed so hard its teeth fell out. And we still didn't get up.

the freshmen class this year is the biggest we've had in ages. I'm unclear on the details but I know one of the reasons this has happened is because of all the should-have-been-sophomores who made the smart choice in the face of a terrifying and untouchable enemy and deferred their enrollment for a year. Then there are all the gaps, the semesters and years taken off to mourn and sort bookshelves in quaint second-hand bookstores and cry into loaves of sourdough bread. The question is no longer which class year are you from but rather what do you remember? Have you ever stepped into the building they keep the philosophy department and its creepy blank-eyed statue of a man who looks vaguely Chinese but I have never taken a proper look at out of fear and respect and fear chained in? Have you ever held a plate in the dining hall?

I bumped into a friend due to graduate at the end of the fall in the library the other day. He injured his knee while playing tennis and is now waiting around for the surgery that will put it back together, working on his thesis and puttering around in his studio in the hours in between. He's been here for a while. He remembers freshman orientation, his shitfaced roommate bringing someone back to their room without asking, what the library looked like during finals season. When I see him around campus, which isn't often, it's hard to keep track of people now when there are more than five in my line of sight, another unexpected side-effect of the pandemic, he looks at home. Like he knows what he's doing, even if he doesn't know what he's doing. He knows what he's doing. He has a reference point for college life that isn't made of smoke and mirrors, and I imagine that to him this, all this, is nothing more than a returning. Some kind of coming home. Like walking into your old bedroom and finding your collection of empty coke bottles right where you left it fourteen years ago, beside the Peter Pan poster with the pasta sauce stain and your favorite stuffed camel.

and just like that, another November. This year Thanksgiving break will end with all of us back where we started, in our too-small dorm rooms with our shitty roommates and our unswept floors and the bathrooms bursting with the sound of people we don't know throwing up at four twenty-seven in the morning and missing the sink. It's not the same old song because it's the first time we've ever sung it. We're not very good at singing and we're not sure where we're going. But the ground is firm and tough beneath our feet and the air is cold and sharp.

standing on the top of the hill with our second-year sadness and our suitcases, our throats scratchy with sun, we are overcome, for a moment, with the urge to start running.

11.24.21

[lucemferto]

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Intro

LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]

Well, I lied.

[Intro to “Luc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2”]

I swear, I’m working on other stuff. It’s just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!

So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr – who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago – but as per usual reality proves me wrong. I’m also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr – by far! – and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!

Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft – that’s his full name – for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] – wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isn’t a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!

This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event – you can tell by the shared nomenclature – so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you don’t want to, which is also perfectly understandable.

DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.

… What is that? You’re wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you don’t know, here’s the cliff notes.

Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg that’s definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And it’s all done in Minecraft – yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.

And you say the perfect brief doesn’t exist!

Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, it’s because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, it’s just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.

And it’s not just amusing, it’s also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!

Now, if you watched that Technoblade video – like I told you to twice now! – you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Don’t tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!

It’s just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All I’m saying is: I don’t have anything to add on that front.

So, instead I want to pursue a different approach – something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And I’m not just talking narrative analysis – that’s right, this episode we’re going even more pretentious! – I’m talking Transtextual Analysis!

Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people – #transrights, just in case that wasn’t obvious – but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put – to quote French literary theorist Gérard Genette – “the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts”.

Basically, you know how the L’Manburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? That’s transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, it’s really not something that’s new to the Dream SMP fandom.

But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.

But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos don’t look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I can’t. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice – I really need it – and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family – I’m sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.

And I’m trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, it’s because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like there’s a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it sounds worse – that would be bad!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!

 Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?

You know what’s really interesting about the Dream SMP – aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories – and that’s pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that – at least for long-form storytelling!

So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, it’s because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert – and I don’t mean that in the “This character is based on me”-kinda way, but in the “This character, for all intents and purposes, is me!”-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didn’t start off as a continuous drama – it started off as a Let’s Play.

And while we can talk about how someone’s on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, it’s still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.

This is where Intertextuality comes in.

Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, you’re currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.

So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their character’s backstory.

You can see it everywhere. Wilbur’s and Schlatt’s relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example – I think anyway. I haven’t watched SMPLive, because … there’s only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life – which I already don’t do, so…

BadBoyHalo’s and Skeppy’s relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that they’re also very close as streamers and in real life.

Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technoblade’s entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, he’s just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and he’s treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldn’t work – at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!

But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!

Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.

SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world and…

It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic – a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, it’s played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up – which we will come back to.

And I’m not saying that they’re faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact – if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when they’re not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.

Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy – so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity – yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.

So, even if we completely disregard SBI – which we shouldn’t for reasons I’ll get back to – Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.

All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.

 Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th

Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philza’s entire deal is that he’s the dad-friend – more specifically that he’s the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.

So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed – and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.

I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. I’m sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didn’t sit there and said: “Yes! We will rely entirely on the audience’s inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!”. Like, obviously that did not happen.

But it’s also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent – and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:

[Wilbur “I miss Philza”/Philza about Wilbur]

During Wilbur’s villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.

Of course, this still doesn’t make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related – but it definitely used the “paternal”-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.

And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philza’s first canonical appearance on the SMP.

Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philza’s narrative purpose on November 16th?

Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilbur’s Villain’s Journey – to appropriate Vogler’s version of the monomyth for a minute here – he is what Vogler calls the “Threshold Guardian”. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest – in this particular case Wilbur’s quest is to blow up L’Manberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?

Well, it’s through our intertextual understanding of Wilbur’s and Phil’s relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian – he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur – Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilbur’s superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.

Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilbur’s arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.

And, just a quick sidenote, because I’ve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When I’m referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, I’m using that in terms of narrative analysis. I’m mentioning it, because Wilbur’s character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have – rightly! – pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is … problematic, to say the least.

So, I just want to make clear, this isn’t a character analysis, I’m being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.

In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his “reward”: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil – the dragon of Wilbur’s story slays the dragon of L’Manburg. It’s very Shakespearean in its tragedy – but beyond the larger theatrics it’s not really used to further characterize Phil – at least in the context of Season 1. There’s not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.

Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilbur’s character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of L’Manburg.

I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of L’Manburg – he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the L’Mantree, thus framing him as loyal to the L’Manburg administration – even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.

What’s also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.

[You’re my son!]

Wilbur is made Phil’s canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur … but what about Philza’s “other” children?

Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:

 Paratextuality: Is Dadza?

These titles are just getting better and better.

The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text – like chapter titles, author’s notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:

[Examples]

And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling – I’m looking at you, Ranboo – but that’s not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.

Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. That’s stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowling’s Twitter Account – you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.

[Wilbur: Transrights]

After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!

You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him … and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!

[Ghostbur explains family]

So, it wasn’t paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilbur’s and Sally the Salmon’s son. This is as clear as Philza’s anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his character’s words even more “canonical” weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character – exposition that we should understand as reliable.

And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people don’t archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on characters’ pages!

Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.

[Philza clips]

But just as often it was just explicitly talked about – both in the text and in the paratext.

[Fundy clip/Wilbur “Twins” clip/Tommy clip]

So, I know what you’re thinking: “Why is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textual”. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasn’t the only one.

[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]

Yeah …

This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another – and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.

Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic – but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasn’t it?

What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. I’ll spare you every comment made about this – mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.

In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is … unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that it’s ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son … which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but I’ll come back to that later.

But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy – especially when it comes to Tommy’s character? What makes Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?

Well … this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.

Interlude II: Tommy’s Exile and Dadza in Season 2

Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny it’s worth!

At the beginning of Season 2, Philza’s narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in L’Manburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nation’s rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.

[clips]

And then came … the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from L’Manburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. It’s a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommy’s character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.

So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And that’s not a problem specific to him – One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eret’s Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville – anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasn’t it? – basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP … in ten years, look forward to it.

In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommy’s dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur … but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament – to put it lightly – he was nowhere to be found.

So why is that?

Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didn’t write him into the storyline. We’ve seen that Tommy wasn’t particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dream’s mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have done that, it’s just a matter of fact that they didn’t.

This also reveals another truth about content creator Philza’s character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.

What I’m saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philza’s up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philza’s here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesn’t want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philza’s character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyone’s favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.

Technoblade and Philza, from everything I’ve seen of them, seem to be very good friends – and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, it’s commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.

A consequence of that, however, is that Philza’s narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of L’Manberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technoblade’s ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext – this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext – but there isn’t a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philza’s character into the larger narrative framing around him.

How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubbo’s administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Niki’s role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.

If you’ve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about … just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that I’m not principally against this development – if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.

The problem I have is that it’s just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather – a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 – and Phil then callously disowns him.

The major problem simply is that we don’t see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommy’s exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didn’t end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down – but again, Season 2 video.

There is not much to say on Philza’s narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Techno’s consigliere with his role as Mentor to L’Manburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philza’s inner world. But aside from that, Philza’s storyline in Season 2 remains … pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.

Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored – whether by chance or choice – and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves “Dadza” in a very peculiar situation.

 Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?

So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail – I haven’t made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldn’t tell you.

I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because they’re not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.

I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-“Dadza”-relationship has become so controversial. It’s a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized – something that is very common for the Dream SMP – conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship – as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking – but also completely changes Philza’s narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.

That is why I say, that Philza’s character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.

The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis – and that’s a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POV’s periphery.

To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure – and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother – but he’s also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his “children” – least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.

But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.

Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, I’d like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.

You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of L’Manburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and – for me, personally – most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas – and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!

And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. It’s just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.

But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could – with barely any adjustments – turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!

 Outro

Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I don’t record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether you’re a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.

I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related – a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs – simply because I don’t want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldn’t want to force on myself.

But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me – so I can’t guarantee that the next video won’t be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.

Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.

Before that I have a longer video in the works, which I’ve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something … eboys-related? Maybe. I’m not making any promises!

[izayoi-hakuyu]

Vanitas no carte: A case study of the vanitas motif?

In this I want to examine how the vanitas motif is used in the manga “Vanitas no carte”. In other words: Is the main character just called Vanitas because it’s a cool name or is the manga embedded within a certain literary/artistic/cultural tradition? And is the connection to that tradition just the name of the main character (spoiler: it isn’t, at least in my option) or is the vanitas motif deeply interwoven within the narrative and its themes (spoiler: it is, at least in my option)?

Talking about spoilers: I have only read up to chapter 40, so this may be updated as I continue reading. On the other hand, there will be spoilers for the chapters up to chapter 40.

Note: I don’t know if something like this has been done before. If it has, I’m very sorry. This is actually my second step into the actual fandom and I’m lacking an overview. Also English is not my native language and it’s hard for me to articulate myself properly. I’m sorry if the topic of the vanitas motif within the manga has been discussed before and I’m sorry for any mistakes I make.

So what is vanitas as a motif?

“Vanitas” is latin for “vanity”. As a theme in literature it addresses the transience of all being.

These works of art associates with the vanitas motif show the futility of pleasure, and the certainty of death. Symbols of wealth and symbols of death are often arranged in a contrasting matter. Similar to “memento mori” (latin for “remember that you [have to] die”. Memento mori is a vanitas symbol itself and they are overlapping), it accentuates the inevitably of death. But instead of the death itself it emphasizes the vanity and transiency of the human life. Motifs connected to vanitas became especially popular during the baroque period due to religious and social upheavals and the experience of the Thirty Years' War (1618-1648) and several plague pandemics and the steady presence of destruction and death. On the other hand, social injustice rose due to the build of expensive castles by absolutist rulers.

The vanitas-motif not only criticizes the worldly glory and pleasure that is transient in nature. But vanitas also accentuated that the humans are powerlessly confronted with their own fate and have no control over their own life. This mindset originated in the traditional Christian belief that earthly pursuits and goods were believed to be transient and worthless. Furthermore, people would be expected to accept their fate that would be inflicted by God. While everything earthly would be eventually in vain, God would be eternal.

The paintings under the term “vanitas still lifes” are the most well-known incarnation of the vanitas motif, but it has been also incorporated as a motif not only in painting, but in poetry (for example in the works of the German baroque poet Andreas Gryphius. And I kid you not, he wrote an ode called “Vanitas! Vanitatum Vanitas!”) and other forms of literature. Within the vanitas motif developed a whole collection of symbols associated with it. These are also presented in this manga.

Vanitas symbols in Vanitas no Carte

Hourglass

The hourglass that takes form in Vanitas’ earring is a classical symbol of vanitas. The flowing sand symbolizes the passing of lifetime and mortality. A symbol of the passing of time and the eventual death is also expressed in the gearwheel ornaments on the “Book of Vanitas”.

Skull

The cover of the first volume shows Vanitas in front of a picture frame made of golden skulls. Skulls are symbols of vanitas and memento mori. They are reminder of death and human transience. One of the skulls on the cover is wearing with a crown, which alludes to the typical form of presentation of the vanitas motif, to juxtapose symbols of death and symbols of wealth and worldly power. This relates to the role of the vampire Queen Faustina, who is both in reign of the vampires but who also seemingly spreads death over them by spreading the curse as Naenia (a name also connected to death, as Naenia was a funeral deity in ancient Rome. The name Faustina on the other hand…is a whole new topic for another day and is most likely referring to Goethe’s Faust, a play that revolves around a scholar who makes a contract with the devil. Actually the act of vampires exposing their real name includes elements of/refers to the Faustian pact motif).

Book

The book itself also a symbol of vanitas and finds its place in the story in form of the…”Book of Vanitas”. Books (among measurement tools and the like) within the vanitas motif represent the emptiness and vanity of earthly knowledge and striving. Subsequently they symbolize the haughtiness that can arise out of thirst for knowledge. From this perspective this symbolism is also tied to Dr. Moreau, who horribly abused Vanitas and other children in experiments to gain scientific knowledge in order to become a vampire himself...and his eventual failure.

Knife

Another part of Vanitas as a character is also connected to the vanitas motif – his knife. The knife stands for the vulnerability of the human life and also functions as a death symbol. The knife is especially charged symbolically as Vanitas attacks Noé on the rooftop, declaring their cooperation has ended at this point. Vanitas is refusing to let another person in his life, refusing to trust someone else but himself. His attack towards Noé with his knife not only is an attempt to make Noé hate him, but also a symbolic “cut” of their ties. But the symbolism doesn’t end here, as Noé is the one who stops the knife with his hand. Showing that he will refuse their ties to be cut. Showing that he will stay at Vanitas side no matter what and that he accepts him and doesn’t want him to be alone. In a second situation where their relationship is on the verge of breaking is the conflict within the catacombs, as Noé refuses to agree with Vanitas idea of fighting back Laurent. Vanitas lashes out, severly insults Noé and tells him to leave, if he doesn’t agree. But Noé stays at his side (and still shows him that he doesn’t agree). One could conclude that Noé’s relationship with Vanitas has an element of transience in it by Vanitas coping mechanism of avoiding and leaving others in case of conflict. And Noé fights this transience of their relationship by offering Vanitas trust, acceptation and in the end stability. During their next conflict, where Noé spits out that he wants to drink Vanitas’ blood, Vanitas leaves. But this time it is Vanitas himself who initiates remediation, who fights his own transience when it comes to social relationships. He returns (which is unlikely to him, as Dante states), his care for Noé are stronger than his desire to be fleeting, not being able to be “caught” by anyone. And sees Noé waiting for him. Again, offering stability.

Mirror

The vanitas motif is not only imbedded in the accessory of Vanitas himself. It also finds its place in the design of Noé, more precisely in the small mirror attached to his tophat. In the context of the vanitas motif, mirrors symbolize vanity and the evanescence of earthly beauty. It also stands for pride and haughtiness, similar to the Greek myth of Narcissus. This actually contrasts Noé’s humble personality.

Flowers

Within the manga Paris is described as the “City of flowers”. While flowers can be also a symbol of love and even immortality, their blooming and withering can also be a symbol of death and fleetingness of beauty, especially in the context of baroque symbolism.

Musical instruments

Musical instruments are a sign of transiency as well, as the sound vanishes into nothing as soon as it is articulated. Music is seen as something unique and unrepeatable, and also as something that is transient in its nature. This becomes evident in Cloé’s character arc, as music is her way to manipulate the world formula. Her life is also highly influenced by the transience of her surroundings, while she herself is forced to remain static.

Carpe diem

Latin for “seize the day”. It’s the name of Jeanne’s weapon. “Carpe diem” is an idiom that was especially popular in the baroque era, but it dates back to the roman poet Horace. Along with “memento mori” and “vanitas”, it emphasized the fleetingness of all life. “Carpe diem” emphasizes the call to make use of the day and the time left and to act, despite the eventual transient nature of all afford. The own mortality should be remembered and therefore the day should be seized. This reflects the main characters Vanitas, Noé and Jeanne, who carry on and refuse to give up, despite the external and internal struggles they face.

The color blue

The color blue takes a significant role within the narratives (Vampire!Vanitas being born under the blue moon). While it is not traditionally connected with vanitas itself, the color blue, together with the color black (which are the two dominating colors within human!Vanitas’ character design), is connected to death and melancholy.

The role of the vanitas motif within the narrative

The vanitas motif is embedded both in the form and in the content of the narrative.

The vanitas motif is embedded within in form of the manga as it has an analytic plot structure. This means the story’s conclusion is already presented in the beginning and the rest of the story unfolds how the eventual conclusion happened. This is the case in “Vanitas no carte” as it presents the conclusion, that Vanitas dies in the end within the first chapter and we are actually reading Noé’s memoirs. Therefore it is a constant reminder, that Vanitas will die and nothing that will happen in the story will change that outcome. Everything that happens in the story appears basically unable to change the end. Every positive development is overshadowed by the fact that it is made clear by the narrative since the very beginning that there will be no happy ending for the main characters. This is especially notable in the scene on the rooftop in volume 3, where Noé declares, how he will stay on Vanitas’ side. This scene is followed by an overlying narration of Noé, who says that memories of the beginning awake memories of the end and expressing his regret. In this positive, powerful scene where Vanitas and Noé make up and the themes of human bonds, free will, acceptation of oneself and others and trust really shine…also embeds the eventual tragic end. The omnipresence of death and its fatality and the transience of life and the knowledge that nothing lasts is the essence vanitas motif and it is presented in the mere structure of the manga.

But its not only the structure where the vanitas motif is woven in, but also the story. This shows especially in the character Vampire!Vanitas and in the mere name itself. As Cloe’s case shows: Vampires are pretty much immortal, if not directly killed. On the other hand, it is the curse of Vampire!Vanitas that endangers vampires: Because it gives them back their mortality and the transience of their existence. A transience not brought by an outside force as in the church, that hunts the vampires – but transience within themselves and their very nature. Vampires fear becoming cursed as much as humans fear death – it can always happen, to everyone. It’s not fast, but slow, seemingly unstoppable “decay”. So it is fitting for someone called “Vanitas” to bring transience and the constant reminder of death and fear upon their whole species.

Another factor of the vanitas motif is the inevitable passing of time and the changes this brings – a theme that is deeply tied to several characters arcs, where death and loss and how to deal with both is a major theme (especially when it comes to Vanitas, Noé, Jeanne, but how they relate to each other thematically is worth an analysis itself and I would digress too much). This is especially notable in Cloé’s arc, who is the only vampire in her family and becomes more and more isolated and alienated from her family, who eventually forgets about her. Cloé’s wish to stop the passing of time (and the underlying wish to be happy with her family, to be accepted for what she is), to fight the transience or rather to fight the vanitas manifests in the time loop. The time is reset and tied into a loop – symbolizing not only her being stuck in the past, but also her refusal of a future, since a future meant nothing but being forgotten for her, who sees no other purpose in herself but to execute the will of her family that has long forgotten her.

The concept of vanitas also includes fatalism and the belief that humans don’t have control over their own lifes. This makes Lord Ruthven , who uses curses to bind other vampires to his will and eliminating their own (as he did/tried to do with Noé, Jeanne and Cloé) a fitting villain from a thematic viewpoint as he impersonates fatalism. Personal choices or free will don’t matter for him as he erases both. This makes him a foil for Vanitas and an antagonist not only in actions but in world view. To Vanitas the freedom of his will and the consciousness of his own choices are extremely important to him. He could never choose in the past and was more seen as tool used by his surroundings than as a person. This emphasis of choices opposes Vanitas to the traditionally fatalistic viewpoint of the vanitas-motif. Not only that, but he uses the Book of Vanitas to actually reverse the curse and fighting the transience of existence that has befallen the vampires.

So Vanitas fights Vampire!Vanitas not only as a person by preventing the curse from killing vampires – but simultaneously he fights the transience and the fatalism: He fights vanitas as a concept itself.

But the narrative doesn’t deem transience not as internally negative. Quite the opposite, the narrative sees transience as an opportunity for change. The change of fixed structures is also an important theme after all. This change of structures is of both negative (as the curse dissembles the true name of the vampire and therefore their entire nature and Jeanne’s struggle and agony with coming in terms with seeing herself changing) and positive qualities. In one of the early chapters Vanitas complains about how the vampires are stuck in the past and therefore refusing his help – it is not only after Vanitas proofs himself that he is at least tolerated. The message of the positive side of change is also within Vanitas’ and Noé’s improving relationship and understanding. Even though Vanitas has a hard time to accept these changes (as he didn’t tell Noé about the state of the Queen, because he thought he wouldn’t believe him and refers to the several past experiences of vampires almost killing him), the positive relationship of both of them even inspires changes in others. Notably Laurent. Who, inspired by seeing a human and a vampire in a positive relationship begins to question his own beliefs and is even on the road to uncover secrets of the church, breaking up entrenched structures as well.

As a conclusion one could say that the manga makes many, many allusions to the vanitas motif and incorporates them structurally, thematically and plot-wise.

Vanitas no Carte is really a case study of vanitas.

[chalkrevelations]

OK, Word of Honor, Episode 9, and I know last time I got deep in the weeds about symbolism, but this week, I’m getting back to basics and rambling on (and on) about what this show is really about: Zhou Zishou and Wen Kexing and their relationship.

First, though, the usual warning: SPOILERS. Not just for this episode, but potentially for the entire show, so drive past and circle back around later if you want to watch all 36.5 eps unspoiled.

Bear with me on this one, because this ep spends a LOT of time on ZZS and WKX, and I think a lot of that time is ZZS making some Monumental Life Decisions, including how he’s going to proceed in this relationship and how he’s going to approach his life moving forward. But I’m finding myself needing to work through it chronologically, and it’s. A Lot. Also, let’s face it, ZZS has been my ride-or-die at least since he dropped to his knees and started disrobing in the middle of the throne room in Ep 1, so a chance to wallow in his emotional journey is a chance I’m gonna take.

So, we do have a brief opener when we find out Dead Guy who the Yueyang disciple was shrieking about at the end of the last ep is Fang Buzhi, AKA the Nine Clawed Fox, the guy who lifted WKX’s (Danyang) Glazed Armor (along with some replicas). He got got by mysterious somebodies in the previous episode, and we find out now that he has three tiny needles in his neck, which ZZS recognizes as a Tian Chuang technique. This leads ZZS to 1) assume it must have been Han Ying who did it, so the (Danyang) Glazed Armor is now in the hands of Tian Chuang, and 2) realize that maybe this is not the best place for the former leader of Tian Chuang to be hanging out right now, so he makes their excuses, because he knows that Gao Chong must be VERY BUSY now that he’s got this corpse on his hands, so they’ll just BE GOING, thanks so much. Gao Chong hopes to see them at the Hero’s Conference, and WKX responds in a Significant Tone that of course he’ll be at the Hero’s Conference, and now ZZS has his Thinky Face on again, because WKX is not nearly as subtle as he seems to think he is when he’s making Pronouncements.

The ZZS/WKX Show really starts kicking into gear that night, at the Getting Lucky Good Luck Inn, where we open on ZZS wandering contemplatively around his room, looking beautiful in the soft light of evening (your FACE, Zhang Zhehan) and ruminating on Prince Jin’s motives for wanting the Glazed Armor, like he’s never met this power-hungry asshole before. Also, he thinks to himself, wtf was that, with Gao Chong keeping anybody from seeing Chengling in the last ep? There’s a knock on the door, which momentarily confuses him - understandably, because as we’ll see, WKX doesn’t generally get the concept of announcing yourself and waiting to be invited in by knocking first, preferring to dramatically bust open doors (at least to ZZS’s bedroom) and grace you with his presence, whatever your thoughts on the matter are. He’s accompanied by waiters and dinner, and ZZS realizes his senses are going, presumably because he can’t smell this spread that WKX has procured in an attempt to prove what a good provider he is (what did I say about food and bonding? ZZS fed him in the market, and now it’s his turn to feed ZZS). WKX tells us that life is just three hots and a cot - which gives away more about your life than you would likely be comfortable with us knowing, Lao Wen, given how close to the vest you’re holding your cards – and that everything else can wait if you can have a meal with someone you like. :coff: (Also, remember this, it will come around again.)

Cut to dinner by flickering candlelight, the better for soft lighting to caress ZZH’s exquisite face, but ZZS isn’t into it at all, staring into space instead of eating WKX’s proffered Courtship Delicacies. This earns what’s possibly WKX’s most hypocritical and amusing comment yet, which is to ask ZZS, “What is it that you can’t tell me?” ZZS - apparently - is still feeling soft about WKX’s help against Tian Chuang’s Chengling-kidnapping attempt - or maybe he’s thinking that a little bit of opening up on his part will soften up WKX - because he hardly has to have a spoon dug into his ribs at all to admit that he’s wondering if it was a mistake to bring Chengling to Five Lakes Alliance. My dude, just steal him back, then. WKX laughs at him and tells him he’s got such a handsome face (true) along with a kind and innocent heart (false, he’s a former government spook and assassin, a part-time ill-tempered gremlin, and a whole-ass troll), and therefore girls will clearly go crazy for him (true, just ask me). ANYWAY, A-Xu, (WKX continues) now that the requisite random no-homo boilerplate is out of the way, are you really thinking of taking on Chengling as a disciple, because now is apparently not too soon to have the adoption conversation about Our Son. I almost expect him to pull out the adoption papers then and there. Instead, he pulls out a story - which is awkwardly placed and kind of clunky, actually, despite being thematically important - of a dog he had once, given to him by Someone Very Important, although of course he’s not going to say who that was (:facepalm:), and his mother warning him that he’d have to take care of it for life, and then he betrayed it.

So, there’s a lot going on here. We’ll eventually find out that ZZS gave Zhen Yan a puppy, so will this story of a gift dog jog ZZS’s memory into realizing that WKX is Zhen Yan without WKX actually telling him, so that WKX can tell his Bundle of Neuroses that it’s not reeeaaallly WKX’s fault ZZS figured it out? Also, WKX sees ZZS being like this about Chengling, and in the Chengling = Zhen Yan equation we’ve already established, is it possible this will prime ZZS to remember another disciple/young boy he took responsibility for, at one point? Of course, on ZZS’s side of things, it’s possible that hearing about this dog that WKX failed is likely to remind him of the way he failed his own responsibility to all the other disciples of Siji Manor, so, excellent way to take a stab at his heart, WKX! However, ZZS breaks the miserable tone we’ve become mired in by smacking WKX, chiding him for comparing their son to a dog, and getting them drinking. See, here, Chengling is the dog. Earlier, the two sisters A-Xiang rescued were the dog. Later, A-Xiang will be the dog. Unfortunately, WKX is going to have a blind spot and never quite realize that, in the Ghost Valley schema he’s set up, the Department of the Unfaithful is also the dog, but we’ll get to that in later eps. For now, cut to later that night: After dinner and a washup, ZZS sits on his bed, and we get some special effects to indicate that his hearing is also giving him problems, so he deploys his special Nightly Nails Torment meditation pose, and then we get the second instance of WKX playing the xiao to help him meditate and rest. (Junjun, your hands on that xiao …) ANYWAY, we get a gorgeous little bit of physical acting from ZZH here that could easily have been overplayed but is nicely restrained and subtle, with just the slightest smile when ZZS realizes WKX is playing, and then his whole body visibly relaxing as he allows himself to sink into WKX’s now-familiar musical embrace the meditation. It is :chef’s kiss:

Cut to next AM, when ZZS is now a very cranky boy, and I get this, because I also am exceedingly irritated when people bust into the room where I’m sleeping with an abundance of cheerfulness and try to get me to interact and do things without at least half an hour to creep my way out of bed, two cups of coffee, and an hour of silence before any attempts to converse like a reasonable human being (I’m looking at YOU, mom), and I don’t even have the excuse of seven Nails pinning me. Also, when WKX whips off the blankets, we learn that ZZH dresses to the right. :hands: I’m just making an observation. So, WKX wants to go to Yuefan Tower like some kind of wide-eyed tourist, and despite some smacking and scowling and death threats, we then smash-cut to the Tower, where ZZS has apparently come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with the ADHD gremlin crawling into his bed is to humor him about this daytrip. I think you could have come up with some more creative ideas that didn’t involve leaving bed, but I guess you’re not the fast one in this relationship, Zhou-ge. Srsly, though, I’m sure WKX would have been happy to do all the work, my dude. (I don’t always have strong top-bottom preferences, but you probably aren’t going to have much luck convincing me that ZZS is not a pillow princess who wants to just lay back and be spoiled. “Aren’t you a very capable man?” indeed. WKX has to do ALL THE WORK, god. I don’t know if I’m swimming against the current here – god knows I was in Inception fandom, where I felt the same way about Eames - but here we are.) Also, I can’t believe WKX didn’t just sit in the bedroom and creep on A-Xu’s beautiful sleeping profile for at least the amount of time it would have taken to drink a pot of tea, another viable option if it was me in this scenario. Tch. What kind of stalker are you, Lao Wen?

ANYWAY, at Yuefang Tower, ZZS tells us about the Four Sages of Anji, a senior-citizen polycule of soulmates who are, conveniently, at this very moment, on a boat in the lake beside the tower, playing music and sword-dancing. This is the first time they’ve been seen in 10+ years, after they put down their various swords and ran off together to live like hippies off-the-grid in the woods, probably skipping around naked, drinking “tea,” and having lots of sex. ZZS sighs wistfully while recounting this tale and calls them “a breath of fresh air.” There’s some discussion and poetry quoting and literary references to soulmates, and somewhere in here we get a shot of ZZS and WKX from behind which makes it super-obvious how hard they’re working the costumes to make Gong Jun look as broad as possible. He’s got the power shoulders on this set of robes, compared to Laopo ZZS’s soft, unstructured, flowing robes, and with those shoulders tapering down to the belted waist, they’ve got Junjun seriously working the Chris Evans Dorito silhouette. Meanwhile, focus back on their conversation: ZZS thinks that “the world is not important, finding a soulmate is,” giving some MAJOR FORESHADOWING for the end of the show (which we are accepting as “Ep” 37 because WE ARE), when we get that icy separation from the rest of the world but they have each other. WKX gives him a yearning look. ZZS looks back … there’s really no other way to put this … coyly, not meeting WKX’s gaze directly. This offers WKX and us a chance to admire his profile once again, thank you, Laopo. ZZS waits until WKX looks back out at the lake before looking at him directly, and his face journey, y’all. He’s thinking that it might not be bad to spend his remaining time with this soulmate, I think he’s starting to re-think the slow suicide, and he’s also thisclose to just letting WKX have him. Y’all, he seriously wants WKX so bad, here. It may be the first time we’ve seen this level of interest from him - it may be the first time, in all that we’ve seen of him, that he allows himself to even have that kind of interest. I think this is the next big step from Ep 6, when he allowed himself to enjoy being desired - now he’s allowing himself to desire, to want something again, other than a chance to drink himself to death in the gutter. This, right here, is a crucial point when he makes the decision to spend whatever time he’s got left living rather than just dying, and I’m flailing on the couch. This is the face of a man who’s ready to Make Some Declarations while getting railed within an inch of his life. SOMEONE IS GETTING SOME TONIGHT. Or he would if he wasn’t going to turn out to be such a fuckup. FFS, WKX.

But first, we cut to a scene of them back at the marketplace, wandering through as WKX mocks various sects in town for the conference – including the Mount Hua boys, who apparently look like virgins make their first trip to a brothel – and ZZS supplies background info on them. WKX asks if ZZS can tell what sect WKX is from, and ZZS calls him a messy bitch before asking if WKX can please stop making him play guessing games about everything and just tell him what WKX so clearly wants ZZS to know. (I know, right? But no, because then WKX might get what he wants, and he’s way too terrified for that, so you have to guess. That way, it’s not his fault when you figure out who he is and reject him, as anyone clearly will do because he’s unlovable and unforgiveable and not even really human, A-Xu.) WKX immediately changes the subject to ramble about the Hero’s Conference and how laughable all the sects are for wanting to be seen as heroes, blah blah blah, rinse and repeat. ZZS comments that only inexperienced people want to be heroes, that experienced people know “every character of the word hero is written in blood,” and yes, the character they’re using for hero, “ying,” is still the same character used in Han Ying’s name (which is not, by the way, the “ying” used in Wei Ying’s name, to cross streams for a moment). ZZS says he’s too old to be a hero (I and my knees feel you, my dude), now he’s just a wanderer, and he asks if WKX wants to be a hero or a wanderer, and WKX says that as a wanderer, all he needs is ZZS, and I’m telling you, someone absolutely would be getting some tonight if only he wasn’t such a fuckup, Lao Wen.

I’m’a try to wrap this up soon, because it’s gotten v. long, but we then cut to that night at the Getting Lucky Inn, ZZS drinking in his room, WKX busting in with his usual dramatic flair, with wine, inviting ZZS up to the roof to drink and look at the moon. He clearly has ulterior motives, but unfortunately for everyone, we’re going to discover they’re not the ulterior motives ZZS is expecting. As they lean back on the roof together, hands almost-but-not-quite touching, a romantic tune playing, WKX tells ZZS that he’s like, really happy! Just super happy! So happy! Ask me why I’m so happy, A-Xu! Spoiler alert: It is, unfortunately, not because he’s getting ready to get some from his laopo. This is particularly unfortunate, because ZZS chooses this moment to take another big step in this relationship, telling WKX that he’s not going to ask about things WKX doesn’t want to tell him, that he’ll wait for whatever WKX wants to tell him. On the surface, this comes off a little bit like, I’m done with asking when you’re not going to answer anyway, but in context – particularly on the back of the earlier scene when ZZS watched WKX turn on a dime and immediately change the subject to avoid exposing anything when ZZS asked WKX to stop making him guess everything – this is as good as a declaration of going all-in. ZZS is committing to this relationship on faith, without having all – or even most – of the answers about WKX, and his approach is going to be to wait until WKX is ready to reveal whatever information he feels safe and comfortable revealing. In practice, he’s going to end up being better or worse at this, depending on the day, but what it reminds me of, already, is that moment in the 20s (Ep 21? 22?) when A-Xiang and Cao Weining are arguing about her killing the beggar guy, he approaches her, she yells at him and points to the ground to indicate exactly how close he’s allowed to get to her, and his respect of that boundary she lays down is instantaneous and absolute. That’s what ZZS is saying he’s going to at least try to do, here. It also reminds me of the way he’s going to respect WKX’s decision on whether or not WKX is going to claim his place as a disciple of Siji Manor, without it affecting their relationship, so we really are starting as ZZS means to go on, here.

Unfortunately, we then find out that what WKX is actually so happy about is that his plan to burn down the jianghu is starting its next big step, and their romantic evening is interrupted by a bunch of dudes fighting and killing each other over a bunch of fake Glazed Armor. WKX mentions that he’s so happy the show’s started; he’s alternately amused, satisfied, and smug as they watch various fights; he seems to be expecting ZZS to also be amused; and I feel like the implication is that this was his real motive for inviting ZZS out onto the roof, to be able to watch this show with him. ZZS – who’s spent enough time standing ankle-deep in blood for six lifetimes and was working hard just a few weeks ago at drinking himself to death to try to forget what that feels like - is displeased and horrified, rather than very proud of what WKX has accomplished; he pushes WKX away from him when WKX approaches him to ask if he doesn’t think it’s all so very amusing; and he calls WKX crazy, then turns his back on him and walks away. To make things worse, the next morning, after WKX brings breakfast to ZZS’s room and actually knocks, only to find that ZZS has left in the middle of the night, WKX will witness an angry mob gathered outside the house in the woods where the Four Sages of Anji are staying for the Hero’s Conference, demanding a piece of the Glazed Armor the Sages are supposedly holding for Gao Chong, and eventually leading to the deaths of all four of these peaceful aging hippies whose commune in the woods was ZZS’s ultimate dream, leaving WKX horrified by the fact that his actions have consequences, including some that are going to make his boyfriend even more pissed off at him.

SO. All that happened. There were some other people in the episode, too:

We see A-Xiang and Cao Weining having lunch. She asks him why he’s not eating, calls him fat and cute, then proceeds to tell him about Ghoul, who likes to eat the faces of pretty boys. Her conversation skills could still use some work. Cao Weining vows to kill the ghosts of Ghost Valley who would do such awful things. A-Xiang actually ignores this slander about the evil of the residents of the Ghost Valley in a way that she doesn’t usually – usually she looks kind of unhappy when the Evilness of the Evil Inhabitants of the Evil Ghost Valley comes up, going all the way back to ZZS’s comments in Ep 2. Right now, she’s too busy pumping Pooh Bear for information, asking about why the Ghost Valley would have left a pile of heads on Yueyang’s doorstep if the Five Lakes Alliance is so great, so what is Five Lakes going to maybe, perhaps, do about this? Cao-dage is suspicious … that A-Xiang might be scared, but don’t worry, he’ll protect her. Oh, sweetheart. I could eat you up with a spoon, right along with Ghoul. Also, it finally registers that A-Xiang called him cute, but she has to step away for a quick confab with a henchwoman.

We also have to watch Chengling get bullied some more by a Yueyang shixiong who I think is Gao Shan, who we’ll later see bullying some prisoners in the Yueyang dungeon as he admits that he’s doing it to relieve his own frustrations and make himself feel better -  fantastic disciples you’ve got there, Gao Chong, I’m super-impressed by the morality and ethics you’re instilling as a sect. Once again, I have to consider WKX’s position on the jianghu as a hive of scum and villainy. Anyway, once Bullying Hour is over, Chengling runs into A-Xiang, and he can’t manage to prevent the waterworks as he confesses that he thought he’d never see any of them again and that ZZS didn’t want him. UGH. Zhou Zishu, come and get your child back. He’s at least somewhat mollified by Xiang-jie telling him she’s been sent to take care of him, and god knows she’s managed to keep WKX fed and clothed this long, so she has some experience as a minder, as counterintuitive as that seems.

We get a quick shot of Han Ying (My Beloved) with two identical pieces of Glazed Armor, apparently realizing that there are fakes out there.

Deng Kuan shows up, beaten and stumbling, and nearly gets turned away at the front gates of his own sect as a beggar – have I mentioned how unimpressed I am by the Yueyang disciples? Deng Kuan appears to be the only one of them worth anything – before they realize who he is. He is put to bed and tenderly nursed by Gao Xiaolian, who cries over him as he won’t wake up.

Finally, Gao Chong, Shen Shen and Zhao Jing (uh-huh) are horrified to discover that there’s fake Glazed Armor fk’n everywhere in town, making Five Lakes Alliance look ridiculous, which is just fabulous as the Hero’s Conference is coming up, guys. Shen Shen, because everything is a nail, vows to kill anyone who makes problems. Later, Hei Zi, who plays Gao Chong, has an utterly fantastic moment after the deaths of the Four Sages (wow, I did not remember that we wrapped up their entire storyline within a single ep), when he’s haranguing Beggar Gang Chief and is literally all, “You want the Glazed Armor? :pulls a piece out of his robe: HERE. You want some more? :pulls another piece out of his robe: TAKE IT.” It’s a great acting moment, his delivery is perfection.