#still u best believe i will be there `⎚⩊⎚´ -���
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Hiii can u maybe do something like Drew surprising Latina actress! Reader to her home town and him meeting her family? 💕
méxico lindo
drew starkey x latina actress reader!
“Mami, ¿porque mi puerta está-(Mom, why is my door-)” you stopped yourself from shouting to your mom as you opened the door to your room, revealing Drew, your boyfriend, with a bouquet of flowers and a huge smile on his face.
Your hands flew to your mouth in surprise, as you gasped, truly in shock.
Drew had just called you this morning, telling you how much he missed you, and how busy he was with doing press for Queer, his new movie.
How was he here, with you, in your bedroom?
“Hi baby” he said laughing softly, looking at you with small eyes due to his big smile almost covering his entire face.
You slowly drop your hands from your mouth, still in shock, as you watch him approach.
With eyes moving between him and the flowers in front of him, you accept them, slightly shaking as he engulfs you in a hug.
He chuckles as he presses a soft kiss at the top of your head.
You lean back a little, enough to be able to look at him, the shock and surprise slowly dying, making room for the excitement and happiness of having him in front of you.
“Que, como…(What, how…)” you barely let out, your brain not even allowing you to speak in English to him.
Drew lets out a chuckle throwing his head back at your reaction, capturing your lips in a deep kiss before explaining.
“I’m glad you were really surprised” he says as you walk to your dresser to place the flowers, and walking back to him just to jump into his arms.
He sighs in content as he catches you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he walks you both to your bed, sitting down with you on his lap.
“I still can’t believe you’re here” you said with a smile, your eyes gleaming up at him. “You lied to me, you said you were doing press!” you playfully hit him on the chest.
A laugh escapes of him, as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, smiling down at you.
“I have a few free days until the next round of press interviews” he explains, resting his hand on your leg. “And I missed you too much”.
You smile at him, reaching up to cradle his cheek as you press a kiss against his lips.
“I’m really happy you’re here” you say, breaking the kiss to look at him, softly caressing his cheek with your thumb.
He smiles, looking between your eyes and your lips.
“Me too” he lets out softly.
Your heart flutters as his eyes wander on your lips for a little longer.
“Was my mom behind all of this with you?” you ask, raising your brows up at him, as you throw your arms behind his neck, pulling him closer.
He chuckles, caressing your side.
“You know she loves me” he smirks playfully.
You push him fully on the bed until he falls back, smiling mischievously up at you.
“Oh yes, I know” you said as you leaned down, smiling dangerously at him.
Safe to say that was one of the best surprises he’s ever given you.
Drew had met your family back when you were filming season one.
Him and Madelyn had traveled with you to enjoy home for the few days of break you had.
And your family had absolutely loved him.
Your mom specifically.
Even when you still were just friends, she already treated him as if he was part of the family already.
And she never lets your forget how she always “felt” how you two were meant to be together.
Her instincts were always right, you had to give it to her.
“Ay Drew!” your mom shouts, standing up from the couch in excitement as she sees him, opening her arms ready to embrace him.
You giggle softly as he crouches down to hug your mom back.
“It’s nice to see you all again” he says, moving to greet your dad, who is happy to see him, but not as much as your mom.
Your dad shakes his hand after giving him a hug.
“Es bueno verte hijo (Is good to see you son)” he says as he pats him on the back.
A smile appears on your face as you hear your dad’s words.
He loved speaking spanish to him, he liked to feel a little in control with your boyfriend.
“Hey Drew” your younger brother lets out, walking out of the kitchen and greeting him happily.
They both get into a conversation about a video game Drew had recommended him, making you smile.
Your mom walks up to you, taking you in her arms, giving you a hug.
“You liked the surprise?” she asks, smiling brightly at you.
You nod happily, giving her a kiss on the cheek, making an exaggerated kiss sound.
“I loved it, thank you so much mami, I’m really happy” you say, giving her another hug.
She sighs, leaving a kiss on your temple, and leaning her head against yours.
The both of you watch Drew and your dad talking, while your brother listens attentively.
“Me encanta verte feliz mi niña (I love seeing you happy my girl)” she says, as she squeezes you a little between her arms.
You smile at her words.
“Sin presiones (No pressure)” she pauses, looking down at you. “Pero yo siento que el es el bueno (But I feel like he’s the one)” she lets out with a smile.
Your heart starts pounding harder in your chest at her words.
You had thought about that many times.
Him being it for you.
“Eso espero (I hope so)” you murmur, your eyes lost watching Drew smiling and laughing in your couch, with your family, in your space.
Being part of your life.
In your mind, you were already planning everything you were going to be doing while he visited.
All the new spots you had to show him, experiences you wanted to share, and all the time you would be spending together.
A smile appeared on your face.
Your family meant the world to you.
As well as Drew.
What would you do without them?
You were really grateful your family liked him.
Loved him, just as much as you did.
Because it just felt right every time you were all together.
He fitted right in, like he was always supposed to be part of you all.
And you couldn’t be more happy.
*
thank you so much for you request! I absolutely loved the ideaaa, and I hope you liked it<3
already working on a moodboard for this concept, I’m obsessed
I feel like I might start writing little blurbs and short concepts with different ideas, sometimes I feel like it needs to be this huge story for people to get into it, but short blurbs are also fun right?
#latina actress reader#drew starkey#drew starkey blurb#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey x you#rafe cameron#outer banks#obx fanfiction#obx fic#drew starkey x female reader#drew starkey x oc#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x oc#obx x reader#rafe outer banks#obx imagine
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bad idea, right? l l.dh
❥ Synopsis: You swear you've moved on, you swear you're happy in your relationship. But why is Donghyuck still on your mind? and why are you in his bed again
❥ Genre: Ex FWB!Donghyuck, Bf!Jeno, angst, smut, ??? with benefits au, she is toxic.
❥ Warnings: disloyalty, blackmailing, suggestive but no actual smut, just a whole lot of shitty behaviour from mc, even more implications to recording during sex jeno x reader, haechan x reader. not a happy ending.
❥ Word count: 3.8K
❥ a/n: hellooo angels <3 so uh, this is part 2 of is it casual!!! i KNOW this is not what u guys wanted but i fear this is how the story went!!! as always, feedback is much appreciated :P !! also THANK U TO @be-my-sunrise and @hanniesbrat for letting me yap to you guys about this odd ass fic LMAO
You hated the fact your boyfriend was roommates with the man that ruined you. You hated walking into your boyfriend’s apartment and seeing his face there, staring back at you as if nothing ever happened. You hated having sex with your boyfriend knowing he could come home at any time and hear you. You hated the fact that he still thought that your boyfriend was your friend and treated him like one.
Jeno, your boyfriend, has been nothing but the best to you. He comforted you through all the late nights you wanted to spend crying, he held you through every moment you spent crying over that fucker until you realized how much you really like him. No man has ever treated you the way Jeno has. No love has ever compared to the love Jeno has given you and you wouldn't trade it for the word.
“Jeno, I really don’t want to see him, can you just come over instead?”
That’s how alot of your nights went,
baby <3: donghyuck told me i need to move out baby <3: he fucking sucks baby <3: he said i need to break up with u or leave because he can't stand seeing u around
you: what the actual fuck you: i'm so sorry you: he actually sucks so bad you: you’re welcome to move in with me in the meantime you: or however long u want you: i'm so sorry for dragging u into this mess jen you: seriously
baby <3: it’s not your fault baby baby <3: we’re in this together.
“You packing up your shit or what, loverboy?” Donghyuck smirked, leaning against Jeno’s door frame.
“Use your eyes, Donghyuck.” Jeno scoffed, not sparing him a glance. He continued to pack his stuff into his boxes.
“Oh, don’t forget to pack your girlfriend’s clothes! In Fact, I might have some in my room too, you want me to bring them to you?”
“Fuck off, Donghyuck.”
One thing you know for sure is Donghyuck fucking sucks. If he didn’t make that clear the first time around. You’d say you wish the worst upon him. However, some nights, you get deep in your thoughts and thoughts about your relationship with Donghyuck and you miss it. But one thing never changed, you always had Jeno by your side, every time, without fail.
“Jeno, what if I never met you?”
“Where’s this coming from?” He chuckled, pulling you in closer and kissing your head for reassurance. “I’m sure i’d find you one way or another, you're my person”
It was little things like this that made you fall for him. You truly believe Jeno was the one for you. No one treated you half as good as he did.
“I never want to leave you, angel. You’re mine forever” You smiled, cuddling closer to Jeno, you smiled to yourself when his scent hit you. He smelled heavenly, like he always did, the same comfort and warmth that drew you into him in the first place making you desire him even more today.
unknown: hey unknown: i'm sure you know who this is unknown: we need to talk unknown: don’t tell jeno.
Your heart sank. Donghyuck? It can’t be.
you: who is this?
unknown: [attachment: 1 video] unknown: remember me?
Your jaw dropped, clicking on the video to see you bent over the sink in a bathroom you could never forget, ever. Your hair a mess, you're deliriously calling yourself ‘his forever’. You fucking hated that he had anything to black mail you with such as this. You hated yourself for giving him that type of power.
you: donghyuck. you: we have nothing to say to each other you: dont try to contact me again
unknown: you’d be fine with me sending this to your boyfriend though, right?
Immediately, you called him. He was sick in the head and only got more and more out of hand.
“Donghyuck, you’re not fucking funny” you spat, venom laced in every word
“Funny? Babe, who said I was trying to be funny?” He chuckled “I’m serious, did you forget your little boyfriend lives right next door?”
You heard him knock on the wall, screaming out your boyfriend’s name. “Jeno!”
“Shut the fuck up!” A faint voice in the back.
“Fuck off, Donghyuck.” And with that you hung up, falling back onto your bed with a sigh.
“Jeno stop! They’ll hear us” You giggled, lightly pushing Jeno’s head away from his spot in between your legs. He’d been trying to get you worked up through your clothes the whole time youve been over at his apartment. This was the last week of him living here before he officially moves in with you and you both were ecstatic. Last week you’d have to see his face, last week you’d have to be in constant fear that he’ll overhear you and Jeno having sex and last week you’d have to even think about him.
“We’re alone, baby” he pinned your arms down with one hand. “Let me eat you out baby, promise you’ll be good?” You gave in, nodding at the promise of Jenos mouth on you.
“I’ll be good.”
Jeno was talented with his tongue. His technique was unlike any other. He knew how to have you arching into his touch, begging for more, cumming within seconds. You’d describe him as a walking sex god. His way of having you craving more was unmatched. And you don’t think you’ve ever had anyone quite like that before. Not even Donghyuck.
“Stop thinking about that fucker” Your boyfriend frowned, he could read you like a book and you genuinely dont know how he does it “He doesnt matter right now, it’s just you and me baby”
‘I love you, Jeno”
“I love you more than you can imagine, baby”
He kissed you hard, taking your mind off anything you’d been thinking of before. All you could think of Jeno’s mouth on yours, kissing you with everything he had. Within a moment, Jeno had you undressed, laying under him in all your naked glory. Smiling your love drunk smile at him. Jeno trailed kisses down your body, all the way down to your pussy.
“Jeno?” you called out, looking down at him with big, innocent eyes.
“Yes, baby?” he smiled at you sweetly, starting to trail his tongue along your slit, “Pretty, pretty pussy” he mumbled under his breath.
“Please fuck me already, I cant wait anymore. I need you in me” You pleaded, knowing your boyfriend would do anything but deny you anything.
“God, I love you. Anything for you baby” He took no time before hovering over you again, pressing a soft kiss to your mouth. “My angel, all mine.”
“She’s yours?” A voice suddenly interrupted you, a voice that was all too familiar. Jeno’s body hurriedly covered yours, protecting you from the eyes of the intruder.
“Donghyuck, get the fuck out” Jeno spat.
“No, If i remember correctly, she’s mine”
“I was never yours,” You countered, pulling Jeno onto you closer.
“Oh yeah? You want me to show you the video? As far as i know, your little boyfriend here still hasn’t seen it”
You felt Jeno freeze, “What video?” Jeno asked you, looking at you with nothing but confusion in his eyes.
Donghyuck kissed his teeth, “Oh, guess I shouldn't have brought that up right now. right, Y/N?”
“Donghyuck, just get the fuck out.”
Jeno pulled away from you as soon as Donghyuck left.
“What video?” He repeated, looking into your eyes with the same hurt that you once looked into his with. “Donghyuck recorded a video of us the last time we fucked, it was at his parents house on christmas, remember? Well, basically in the video he made me say I’m his forever. And he wont stop blackmailing me with it”
Jeno sighed. “He's blackmailing you?”
“Yeah, look.” you reached for your phone to find the messages Donghyuck had sent you the other day. You looked away from Jeno, feeling ashamed from the whole situation. Donghyuck apparently lived to humiliate you, never letting you catch a break from his antics.
“Baby, I’m so sorry.” He hugged you, pulling your naked body against his own. “You could’ve told me sooner, I could’ve dealt with him myself” Tears were threatening to slip from your eyes, feeling overwhelmed by Jeno’s loving words and Donghyuck’s bullshit.
“But i couldn’t, Jeno” Full on sobbing now, you let the tears fall freely down your cheeks. “I was too scared, he’s insane Jeno” Jeno just hummed, rubbing your back reassuringly.
“You’re not mad?” You asked
“It’s not fair of me to be mad, this happened before we were dating, it’s not fair for me to hold that against you.” He smiled, pulling away to look at your red, puffy, tear stained face. “My baby. Not his, I promise I’ll get us out of here as soon as i can”
donghyuck: i heard u and ur little bf were on a break donghyuck: i think i have some ways to make your break worthwhile babe
you: i'm not your babe. donghyuck. you: plus, you’re the reason we’re on break in the first place. you: dont contact me again, please.
donghyuck: you know you miss me y/n. donghyuck: don’t you miss the way i made you go crazy? donghyuck: remember the time in my car? after i caught you kissing that fucking loser chenle? donghyuck: you were on me like you needed me to breathe. you can’t even deny it. donghyuck: now open the door baby, i’m outside.
You were quick to open the front door, seeing Donghyuck standing infront of you with that stupid fucking smirk on his face. He knew that was your weakness. He knew he was your weakness.
“Miss me?” You hated his cocky tone. You hated that you actually opened the door for him. You hated that you actually did miss him. He let out a chuckle at your silence, he knew how to read you like none other. Not even Jeno.
“C’mon, let me in. You know you want to” You hated yourself for actually stepping aside and allowing him into your house, into your safe space. Memories of the endless nights you spent crying over him in the safety of your own house all blurry.
“H-Hyuck..”
“Oh? We’re back to Hyuck now?”
“Is it bad that I want you to kiss me right now?” Your words were hushed but loud enough for him.
“Yeah?” You nodded, looking down at your feet, too scared to look at him. “Why don’t you beg for it? Since you like to do that a whole lot hmm?” He smiled when he heard you whimper, inching closer to you slowly until he was close enough to wrap his arms around you.
“Are you gonna beg or are you gonna make me wait longer?” Immediately, a sob left your lips “Hyuck, please kiss me. I missed your lips on mine so much”
And without another word, his lips were pressing onto yours with the same intensity you craved, the same intensity that once drew you into him. You swear you almost fell for him again when he cups your face, tilting your head up and deepening the kiss. He began walking, lips still on yours forcing you to walk backwards blindly until suddenly you were falling back onto your couch where he followed suit.
You pulled away, admiring the honey skinned man above you with a small smile. “I missed this” A soft smile mirrored the one adorning your face.
“I missed you like crazy, no other girl compared to you”
“Why’d it take you so long to realize?” He paused, staring at you blankly.
“Just– took me a minute..” with a sigh, he leaned down and kissed you again, trailing his hands under your shirt. Grazing your warm skin with his cold hands, sending chills through your body.
“You gonna let me fuck you? Remind you how I'm so much better than your little boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Oh? Last time I checked you were smitten over that guy”
You hated where this conversation was going so you tried your best to change the topic, “You’re the one about to fuck me right now no?”
“Shut u–” He was cut off by the sound of your phone ringing.
Jeno.
Jeno has given you space for almost a month now. Only sending you messages to check in on you occasionally. All to which you replied positively, ensuring him that you’ll be ready to get back with him soon. In reality though, you were nowhere near getting back with Jeno. You spent nearly every night of the past month in Donghyuck’s bed, either cuddled into him or you under him. Something about the way Donghyuck made you feel was unmatched and you’ll never get sick of saying that.
You stepped into Donghyuck’s kitchen early in the morning, seeing him in just a pair of grey sweatpants with his back turned towards you. It didn’t take long for the waft of the pancakes he’d been cooking up to reach you.
You gawked, “You’re making breakfast?” He turned to you, an unimpressed look on his face (though you could see him fighting a smile.) “Does that surprise you?” and you fought the urge to affirm that it does truly surprise you to see him doing something nice for you.
Instead, you hummed, “No, not really.” With a small smile on your lips, you walked up to Donghyuck who had switched his attention back to the pancakes he had cooking on the stove, wrapping your arms around his bare torso. His skin was soft and warm under your touch.
“Good morning, angel” He hummed, placing a hand over yours. The two of you swayed in a comfortable silence. This is how times with Donghyuck usually went, quiet and calm until he was suddenly kissing up on you, feeling up on you or begging to be inside you.
“You wanna sit and wait at the table for me?” You chirped a “sure” and detached from him, making your way over to the dining table, sitting down on your favourite chair.
baby <3: good morning angel baby <3: can i see you today? baby <3: i miss you, wanna hear your voice so bad :(
you: of course you can :) you: actually, let me just call you right now. you can still come over later tho :P
It didn't take long for an incoming call from Jeno to come through.
“Good morning angel” You could hear his smile through the phone. A smile creeping up on your own face just from picturing the beautiful smile adorning his face. “Good morning, handsome” He chuckled, “You sleep well?”
“You could say that..” You trailed off, thinking of the way you were cuddled into Hyuck last night, the warmth of his body keeping your own body warm. You slept better than you have in a while.
“I miss sleeping with you” Jeno admits, the pout in his voice too obvious. You frowned, feeling the guilt take over you.
“You can stay the night tonight if you want” You lowered your voice, hoping Hyuck wouldn’t hear all the way in the kitchen.
“Oh, no, I still want to give you space! I think i’d be impeding a little if I were to stay the night”
“I don't think so, you’re welcome to stay”
You heard him sigh in relief, “Okay then, I’ll come by in a bit.”
“See you soon, angel.”
You bid your farewells and that's when you noticed Hyuck walking into the room. “Who was that?” He questioned, setting the two plates of pancakes down. You broke eye contact with him, focusing your attention onto the pancakes in front of you.
“I asked you something, you know?”
“It was Jeno.”
He hummed, wordlessly digging into his own plate of pancakes. You felt so guilty. This isn’t where you belonged. You belong next to Jeno, in his arms, under him, near him. You belong with Jeno. Someone who treats you like a proper human. But you found yourself running back to Donghyuck and you hated it. Worst part of it all? Donghyuck didn’t even know you and Jeno aren’t officially broken up. You’d been too scared to tell him, too scared of the possibility of losing Donghyuck in your life. So you’d decide it’s best if he doesn’t know your relationship with Jeno. It’s not even like it matters, right?
“What the actual fuck” Jeno gawked, looking down on his phone screen. He’d originally planned for today to be a rest day after the hell of a day he had at work yesterday but his peace was disrupted when suddenly he got a text from his ex roommate.
donghyuck: hey jeno donghyuck: its me donghyuck donghyuck: i know you might hate me right now but you might wanna see this. donghyuck: [attachment: 1 video] donghyuck: before you come for me, i had no clue you guys weren’t officially broken up at the time of this donghyuck: im sorry jeno.
Attached was a video of a girl, naked body on all fours as the person behind the camera (presumingly Donghyuck) pounded into her from behind. The problem? The problem was the girl had the same hair as you, the same body, the same everything as you. Even that little tattoo on your shoulder that read “delicate” in a beautiful cursive font that Jeno had helped pick out. Everything was you.
jeno: donghyuck. jeno: thanks for this… i genuinely can't believe it.
Within a heartbeat, Jeno was pulling up your contact.
baby <3: hi angel baby <3: can i come over? i left my hoodie at ur house and i need it
you: sureeee thing! you: let me know when ur abt to reach <3
Jeno, furious, hurriedly grabbed his keys and got in his car. He thought after what you’d been through, you’d know how it feels to get your heartbroken like this. He’d expected you of all people to be better than this but no, you had to be the absolute worst of them all. He thought maybe you of all people would keep his heart safe but no, you clearly gave no fucks about him or his heart.
He managed to calm down by the time he got to your apartment. Breathing in and out before ringing the doorbell.
“Hi Jen!” You chirped, allowing him in. You were wearing an oversized shirt that exposed your newly tattooed shoulder. The same tattoo that was visible in the video. Jeno’s heart sank the more he looked at you. The girl he once gave his heart, his love, his everything to, is the one who he’s currently dreading speaking to. In other words, he hates you right now. Hate was one word he would’ve never imagined using with you.
“You okay, love?” you frowned, wrapping your arms around him tightly, pulling him close into you. He hated the innocent look on your face as you peered up into his own. He had a soulless look in his eyes. “I’m fine,” He forced a tight lipped smile, peeling your arms off him. “I’m gonna– uh, grab my clothes.”
You watched as he walked into your room and went straight for your closet, rummaging through to find his hoodie.
“Jeno” You started, walking into the room behind him. “What’s wrong? Talk to me baby,”
Jeno sneered, turning around to look at you with narrowed eyes. “What's wrong Y/N?” His voice raised, he wasn't yelling but it was clear that he was upset. “What’s wrong is while I gave you space to figure out your shit with Donghyuck, you went out and were fucking him. While continuing to lead me on. Isn’t that wrong, Y/N? Don’t you think I deserve any loyalty? Any love in return? While I sat here, impatiently waiting for you to come back to me, you were taking advantage of it and fucking the reason we were on break. Don’t you remember how we met in the first place? All those nights I spent being a shoulder for you to cry on, being there for you every step of the way. Don’t you think I deserve anything?” The hurt in his eyes was more than evident. You looked dumbfounded, eyes wide in shock as you stood frozen.
“Jeno–” You cut yourself off, at a loss for words. Sighing in defeat, you gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I felt so incredibly guilty everytime, but something in me just couldn't stop. I hate myself for doing it and you deserve to hate me for it too but I’m so sorry.”
“I loved you, Y/N. How do you think it feels when your girlfriend’s ex fling– or whatever he was, texts you randomly, telling you that your girlfriend had been fucking him the whole time you’d been on break? It’s not a great feeling, I’ll tell you that. Oh, and having to see a video of it? Even worse. I’m sorry Y/N but I don’t deserve this. I gave you my everything and you couldn’t even spare me an ounce of loyalty.”
“Jeno, a-are you leaving me?” He felt like laughing in your face, do you seriously think he’ll stay after this?
“Genuinely, do you think I’d wanna stay after the fact, Y/N? Honestly, I want nothing to do with you anymore. Consider us done.” He gave you that same, tight lipped smile, gathered his belongings and walked out your bedroom door.
“Jeno!” You called out, he stopped in his steps, turning to look at you one last time “I’m so sorry, I love you.” Tears were threatening to spill from your eyes.
“No, you really don't. Goodbye Y/N, don’t contact me again, please, for my sake.” And with that, he walked out your door, leaving you broken and in tears. You had no one to blame but yourself. If you hadn’t let Donghyuck in that day, you would have saved yourself from this mess, you would've still have Jeno in your life and you wouldn't be here, crying in your doorway.
Filled with rage, you dialled Donghyuck’s number, he picked up on the second ring.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me, Y/N?” He spat, you could tell he was angry. “You had me thinking this whole time, you’d broken up but in reality, you were leading on poor Jeno and still fucking me? How do you think that makes either of us feel? I know I did something wrong the first time around but this time? You fucked up, Y/N.”
“Hyuck liste–”
“Don’t call me, Y/N.”
With that, he hung up. Your heart dropped, you felt as if you’d lost it all in the span of under an hour. All that you cared about in life had been ripped out of your hands with no one to blame but yourself. You hated what you’d done, hated what you’d done to these two poor men. Neither of them deserved it, especially Jeno and you had no way of going back in time and fixing it.
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I hope you read this
You’re not alone:
I eat carbs when I lose control
I tell myself I’m stupid for choosing this illness to cure my lack of self-worth
I have no friends nor boyfriend
I see something different every time I look in a mirror
I eat over my kcal limit when I’m overwhelmed
I don’t believe skinny will cure my problems, still I choose it
I can’t ask for help
I feel unloved
I feel alienish
I think I am the mistake
I know it’s not about wanting to look better, it’s about regulating the struggles or traumas
I know you love the feeling of hunger
I know what it’s like when you need to eat cuz u been starving and you believe yourself to be a complete disappointment if you pick a fork and a knife up
I JUST WANT MY HEAD TO STOP MAKING ME HATE MYSELF SO MUCH
I know what it’s like to call your 3d your shelter, your home, your safe place, your best friend.
Even though it’s the scariest period of my life, and I have ZERO hope:
Life’s a circle: IT CANT BE BAD FOREVER.
#3d not sheeran#4n@diary#4nor3xia#m3ansp0#tw 3d vent#3d f4st#4norexla#th1n$pø#3ating d1sorder#3d but not sheeren#4n4coach#4n4t1ps#4n4buddy#4n4blr#3d vent#3d blog#4n0rexic
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WIP Tag Game!
Diner Thanksgivinglark Part 3
Part 1 | Part 2
Tagged by: @thelettersfromnoone @littlemarianah @districtunrest 🩶🩶🩶
~~~
She flexes her fingers, before slipping her hands into the pocket of her apron to fiddle with the straws as she heads to the coffee maker. She’s not one for touching; She dreads the accidental brush of limbs as she hands off cups or clears plates. Nothing like Delly, who’s a self proclaimed ‘hugger’ or Johanna who she once watched braid a patron’s beard on request. But there’s something about Peeta that has her doing and saying things out of her comfort zone.
Returning with cup and carafe, she quickly scans the room and upon finding no immediate need, slides into the seat across from him.
“How’s your day been?”
‘Better now,’ she thinks, but instead she shrugs, “not terrible. The Turkey Trot had us busy this morning, but after that it slowed a bit, no worse than a usual day. How about you? We weren’t expecting the after dinner rush until at least 11. Shouldn't you be drinking too much and reminiscing about the good ol’ days or something?”
She’d only moved to town three years ago when her sister had started college at Panem U, but she’d quickly learned that half the town was related to a Mellark, Cartwright, or Undersee. She imagined their family gatherings to be like the big boisterous depictions from the movies. Peeta has a self-deprecating charm that allows him to fit in wherever he goes; she can’t imagine him not enjoying the holidays.
Her family on the other hand had always been small, made smaller by circumstance and time. She’d still loved Thanksgiving, but it was just her and Prim now and with her sister abroad for the semester, she’d decided to work rather than wallow alone.
He groans, “I ducked out early. I’ve been helping with Thanksgiving orders at the bakery all week and I’m all Mellarked out. Then there was the cake this morning; Can you believe someone actually planned a Thanksgiving Day wedding? I thought those were just made up for Hallmark Movies. I’ve been up since 3am. I’m so tired, Katniss,” he says with exaggerated head slump.
She tisks, standing from her seat in anticipation of the hulking man at table 2’s empty coffee cup. “Sounds like you should be at home in bed, instead of caffeinating here.”
“And miss the best part of my week so far? Never.”
~~~
Tagging: @mkweber @oenothera5 @mage-chocolate @rainymyx @waywardangel-wilds
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I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuuji#megumi#deleted scene gege told me#god im not over 266 i will never ever ever be over 266#im so incredibly unwell abt them i cant believe this is the timeline we live in#itafushi friday....itafushi everyday.....#decided 2 forgo my usual miku and broke out the emo playlist fr this one . breaking my own heart :3#how many itfs embraces do i need to draw until i successfully manifest it in canon#gege i beg i plead pls let them H U G#they r so traumatized they r so touch starved pls hug pls contact pls Holds/Is Hold#anyway if megumi's height is inconsistent no it isn't <3 if he looks like 2 completely different ages no he doesnt <33#......kids r Hard guys gomen i tried my best#honestly it's probably not even that bad i think its the arm angle in the first one thts throwing me#i had to play around w it so much that i think im just tired of looking at it#megumi voice whatever !!!!!#thats not important the important thing is Itafushi Hug#and i do believe i met my quota in that regard#also yes my pen pressure Is still dying thank u fr asking but i did this fr them Anyway pls clap
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🌕Total Eclipse🌑
Writer: @zipzapzooooooom Editor: @onawhimsicot
Assistance: @gingermaple @kunehokki @corvidaearts @/mybrotherjoso7
and THE AMAZING COVER by googly88fancy!!
===
NO WAY HERE IT IS part 1 of MY TEAM'S COMIC!! FOR @hotguycomiczine !!!!! :D
I pour my blood sweat and tears into this one fr. HGCZ is the most insane project i've been in and I am so so proud of it <3 Big giant shoutout to everyone that ended up in my team, without any of you I couldn't have done it and ty for putting up with my shit HASHDSAEHEGLP. <333
If you haven't yet checked out the entire monster of this amazing zine, def do so here! 🏹
Part 2 will be posted tmr but if u dont want to left on a cliffhanger. pspsppspssps🪤
===
[ START | PREVIOUS | NEXT ]
[ MERCH ] [ MISC ]
#hotguy comics zine#hgcz#hgcz spoilers#goodtimeswithscar#grian#impulsesv#geminitay#pearlescentmoon#desert duo#hotguy#cuteguy#i mean what where's cg i only see grian-💥#hermitcraft#hermitblr#my art#comic#GOD I LOVE THIS PROJECT SM UEUAHEUAUFE TYPING THESE MADE ME EMOTIONAL AGAIN LMAO#there's so many behind the scenes stuff i can post now HASJHEJE I'll get on to it later maybe!! :D#bug beloved. my bastard child. still cant believe the team ended up letting me do the final design tbh i am so honored i love this lil guy#and GIANT ASS SHOUTOUT TO ZZ THIS WAS THE *BEST* IDEA EVERRRRRR HEHEEHHEE#ok i WILL stop rambling but!!!! please please please check out the whole zine if u havent already. it is just. phenomenal#<3
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celebrating 15 years of dan and phil [15/15]
do you think you and phil will be best friends forever? that's the plan
happy fifteen years <3
#15 !! ❣️💕💖💘❣️❣️💓💞#also 15 gifsets later and can u believe there are still Many iconic moments i wasn't able to fit in a gifset somewhere sdjfs#anyways. thank u to everyone for all the kind words about this series and best of luck to us all for seeing What will happen today sjfss#dan and phil#phan#amazingphil#phil lester#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#dpgdaily#dnp gifs#my gifs#compilation#15yearsofdnpgifs#DPGPhanniversary
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light | jeon wonwoo
pairing: jeon wonwoo x reader
warnings: non-idol au, friends to lovers, fluff, kissing, mentions of the beach, hugging (physical touch in general), wonwoo & reader are on a date (as platonic friends), (they're not platonic anymore), so fluffy dear god
now playing: light, wave to earth & apocalypse, cigarettes after sex
The salt air tickled your nose as your feet hit the sand, and Wonwoo walked quietly beside you, hands in his shorts pockets as he looked ahead of him. He smelled like faint cologne and sea salt, and his frames glinted in the shimmering moonlight as he looked over to you.
"Did you have fun?" His voice was deeper than the ocean stretching miles away in front of you, and you looked to him, nodding as you looked down at your sandles. "I did, Wonwoo. Thank you for all of it."
Jeon Wonwoo and you were on a date—an official, planned out date, with a set time and place and everything. You two had been friends for a long time, and it was obvious that there was something between you, as stated by your mutual friends.
As friends, you had put off the date for a while, still hanging out as just the two of you did normally, even if people called it a date. You had finally had enough of your friends and their whining, and Wonwoo and you decided to go on an official date to appease the hungry crowd (that being your nosy friends).
Even though you and Wonwoo did what the two of you always do—walk around town, stop in shops to browse and buy, and finish your night at the beach while sharing some street food—it felt different, for some reason. The air between you two wasn't suffocating, but wasn't as light as it usually was. There was a weight in the air, one you could sense as you breathed silently beside your friend.
"The water feels so good." You say aloud, toes getting a splash of sea water as you slip them off. Wonwoo takes them in his hands, smiling at you as you wade out a little bit, letting water engulf your legs as drops of it stain your skirt.
The night sky sparkles with stars you never noticed during your nights with Wonwoo here, and the streetlights in the distance lit the sand farther away from you with a soft, inviting glow.
"Wonwoo, come on!" You wave out to him, and Wonwoo laughs nervously, eyes crinkling as he cracks a smile. "I don't want to get wet, [Y/N]. I just took a shower before we left my apartment." He frowns slightly, but you know he isn't actually sad.
"Wonwoo, please! It'll be fun! Plus, it feels good," You bargain, and Wonwoo sighs, laughing to himself as he places your sandals farther away from the rising tides. He slips off his shoes too, sighing as he places his glasses in his shoe before making his way into the ocean. He moves stiffly towards you, obviously not very elated to be in the water, but smiling because you look so happy in this moment.
You reach out to him, hands sliding up his hands and forearm as you pull him to you. He laughs at the impact, and you do too, stumbling at the tide's waves as your hair brushes the water a few inches below you.
Wonwoo's sharp gaze watches your expression change as the moonlight dances across the water, lighting up your back and appearing as if you have an aura around you. You look like an angel to Wonwoo, innocent and pure with nothing but love and goodness in you. It makes him nervous, how beautiful you look.
"Wonwoo?" You question, noticing how quiet he's gotten. He's still looking at you, dark eyes piercing yours as he smiles just slightly. "I'm sorry. You just look—" Your head tilts just slightly, hair falling across your shoulder as you look up at him with confused eyes. "I look?"
"You just look so pretty." Wonwoo says softly, and you blush, not hearing something like that come from Wonwoo's lips before. Your stomach filled with this warm, fuzzy feeling, and your eyes widened, taking all of Wonwoo in as he fell silent again.
The only sound that was between you was the constant wash of the waves against the shore and the crickets and other night insects and animals that may have been running around.
The air was warm and salty around you, quickly enveloping you in a warmness you hadn't felt before. Your body was warm with Wonwoo's touch, and you couldn't help but close your eyes, too in the moment to keep them open.
Wonwoo stared as you did so, lips pink and pretty as he did a double take. The feeling in his chest was getting hard to ignore, and he couldn't seem to think rationally as he stared at your droplet-dusted cheeks and damp hair. Before he knew it, his hands were wrapping around your waist and pulling you close to him, hugging you tight as he let out a sigh against you.
His nose was buried in your hair, and the sweet shampoo and salt mixed together to create this smell that comforted him and calmed him down, allowing him to think of what he wanted to do to you.
He wanted to kiss you, hold you against him as he told you he had loved you since you two had met in the coffee shop two years ago. Wonwoo wanted to let you know how special you were to him, and how important you were to who he was as a person.
Wonwoo was ready to love you, and he was hoping you would be ready to love him back.
"Wonwoo." You said gently, opening your eyes as you pulled back from him slightly. You were thinking the same things Wonwoo was at this moment in time, and it came easy to you as you leaned in, following Wonwoo's lead as his lips finally touched yours.
The kiss sent sparks through your body like fireworks, and you allowed yourself to bring your hands to Wonwoo's tousled hair as he sighed against you.
Time slowed, as if it stopped to watch this turning point in you and Wonwoo's relationship, cheering you on for making the move. Your whole body felt like it was made of sparkles, warm bursts of light that ran through your blood.
When you finally came to and pulled away, you and Wonwoo let out a breath in sync, both blushed and ragged from the kiss. Wonwoo's sharp eyes looked at you as he pressed his nose to you, and you took him in, hands in his as he opened his lips to speak.
"I love you. I've loved you ever since—"
"Ever since we met at the coffee shop." You finish, and Wonwoo pauses, surpised as you laugh lightly. "I've loved you since then." You say, and Wonwoo smiles, hand cupping your cheek as he nods.
"Me too." He says simply, and the two of you go quiet again, lost for words as you stand in each other's embrace once again.
"I'm ready to love you, if you're ready to love me." You whisper, and Wonwoo pauses, breath stuck in his chest as he watches you. It's as if you took all the words from his mouth without trying. He couldn't speak, too overwhelmed by you to even function properly. It took everything in him to not kiss you again.
He just nodded, a smile on his face as he slowly leaned in. His lips brushed against yours ever so lightly as he replied with a whisper just a few seconds later.
"I've been ready."
feedback & reblogs are appreciated! i read every comment or repost you leave :)
#kpop seventeen#seventeen#svt#svt wonwoo#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo fic#wonwoo fluff#seventeen x reader#omg#my first wonwoo fic#!!!!!!#i can't believe it#this is actually so cute#i love it#it's so weird#it's not dk i'm writing for#BUT#i still adore it#i love wonwoo so much#i miss him#oml#ex wonwoo bias right here#the best time of my life#he was such an era for me#love u wonwoo#ANYWAYS#fluffy wonwoo#i'll die on this hill#he's so sweet#yes he's really hot
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(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚♡
mini dump of doodles and stuff of these two bc i havent posted in a bit of a while, i wanted to post smth better than this but ive been a bit upset these days and i havent felt like drawing them that much T_T still love them tho hope they get blown up anyways nct dream announced tour dates for my country and i might see them wish me luck so i can get tickets lol ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt donnie#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#bon'z art ^ ^#rottmnt donnie x reader#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt donnie x oc#rise donnie x reader#rottmnt donnie x self insert#lol#help#oc x canon#rottmnt oc x canon#rottmnt oc#rottmnt donatello x oc#donatello x reader#rottmnt bontello#gawd#nct dream concert is gonna be on a monday are u fr#still u best believe i will be there `⎚⩊⎚´ -✧#Spotify
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I'm rewatching all the Marvel Defenders shows on Netflix and as much as I mock the MCU now, I need non-Marvel fans to understand that I was and still am a fan of "Daredevil fighting the gentrifying assshole who bought out the police force because ACAB both as a lawyer and vigilante of the community" and "Jessica Jones fighting the man who mind controlled her into doing unspeakable things and forming a community of fellow survivors and allies while dealing with PTSD in a range of both healthy and unhealthy ways" Marvel. God I love these idiots they carried so hard
#vio.txt#mcu#marvel#jessica jones#daredevil#also the two of them induced so much bi panic in me. also gender envy. jessica jones is one of the few women i get gender envy fron#the iron fist and luke cage shows were...more mid but still leagues above current marvel shows#like. yes be anti-mcu but these were masterpieces#and yes this is why i was so pissed about them putting daredevil in she hulk and trying to make him iron man 2.0#like! yes hes suave and charming but thats bc its his lawyer job!! he works in a law firm he and his friends started to serve his community#he is NOT 'i am rich and better than u' charming. he is 'i learned how to talk fancy for my degree and i have empathy' charming#and not bringing the other guys over either???? bruhhh#marvel really cancelled the best things they did on the screen#matt murdock my original red and black round glasses wearing sadboy what did they do to you#also!! can i mention that these shows had such better representation than nowadays marvel#murdock's actor doing extensive research on blind motility for the role#jessica and trish's friendship and how trish immediately believes jess about kilgrave#the whole!!! unique community feel of harlem and in luke's bar#hogarth whos both jessica's employer and foggy's boss in later seasons being a lesbian and having Real Marriage Issues#and also being a conplex and kinda shitty person#iron fist was....eh but that's why it was the worst one lmao#OH YEAH HOW COULD I FORGET MY GIRL KAREN#karen page getting a whole storyline in s1 about her dealing w ptsd and then getting fleshed out backstory and her own adventures#like ok it was kinda weird in daredevil that she dated like every guy bc she was the female lead 💀#but even then foggy and matt and her figuring their shit out like adults. like they shot their shots and it didnt pan out. still besties th#disney would never allow such good writing in current times#but a boy can wish
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weekes saying all that mythal shit is up to interpretation is so weird to me because instead of worrying about leaving all of solas' past up to vague interpretation to (new) players because you're too chickenshit to stand by your established lore you could've focused on ghilan'nain and elgar'nan and who they were and what they became. elgar'nan literally let the other evanuris slay his wife and he watched on, and then he rotted in a prison made by what he referred to as his wife's "lapdog" and second in command general. and what of ghilan'nain? what is their relationship? why is it just the two of them in that prison when there were more evanuris trapped in there? why are they simultaneously this omnipotent threat capable of spawning blight at will but also two dimensional villains chasing their own tails half the game while solas just poses and speaks in his riddles in the fade. also a fragment of mythal is inside of morrigan, does no part of her gaf that her husband is literally terrorizing the world she loves? hello??
#veilguard critical#like w/e. i know where i stand on tye mythal solas thing bc i dont have piss for brains and i still care ab established lore in inq#but if u wanna cater to the new players n the edgelords like be my guest ig like#dragon age thoughts#and i know a lot of this game went thru overhauls and they definitely#DUMBED DOWN the political & historical intricacies of solas' motives but like damn#you couldve just. stood by something you established.#like it's bad enough as it is that the gameplay treats me like im five with convos ab what just transpired and#all the post regret frescoes cutscenes??? like couldve just not added those#bc they add nothing to the story and the main source of discourse is how the companions reacted to one (1) word#and then it's like these people dont know solas anyway??? so their interpretations are skewed by default?????#and then in game mythal rly dgaf when she speaks thru morrigan or when u ask for her blessing or w/e#so it's even more ???? who did u do this for#also i saw some ppl say its a love triangle but i hardly believe that bc again#mythal went after elgar'nan every damn time and then told solas shes built diff she wont get betrayed#also w her being solas' creator & enslaver u cant say it's ”up to interpretation” ?? my brother in christ that is#stockholm syndrome at best and at worst it's literally veering into emotional physical and psychological abuse territory
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look what i just got!!! :D
thank you so much @sopafa i adore it! it's beautiful <3 super soft and comfy i'm showing it off to everyone i know, hehe. and thank you so much for the extra surprise goodies i got too! ;3c
ft. my swannie plush from @theaspieasp coz i love any excuse to show him off and i know he'd love the chance to pose for some pics~
#its perfect im so excited ; w ;#worth the wait for sure!!!#and it has BIGASS POCKETS#I CAN ACTUALLY FIT STUFF IN HERE#MY WHOLE PHONE FITS <3#thank you so much! and for taking the time to run around and fight with suppliers to make sure we got something wonderful!#if im understanding correctly i know u may still be fighting the good fight for the other jackets for the rest of the mad dogz#GODSPEED! BEST OF LUCK! I BELIEVE IN YOU!#im sorry youve had to struggle with it but i believe in u <3#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt donatello#rise donnie#rise donatello#tmnt#tmnt 2018#tmnt 2k18#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt
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svsss fancast | Shang Qinghua 尚清华
“In truth, this person’s appearance could have been considered proper and handsome, it was just that in his every word and action there was an inescapable air of sleaziness.”
(2/?): Ding Yuxi (Love You Seven Times)
#svsss#shang qinghua#GOD I LOVED HIM IN LOVE U SEVEN TIMES#even tho I didn’t finish the drama#absolutely believe he can pull off sqh#svsss fancast#fancast#I’ll post lqg tmr#I still haven’t decided who is best for lbh#check back on me in 3 business days
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heehee (pepstavo under the cut)
#arts#mine#saucy#pepstavo#easing everyone in w the cute shit first#can u believe i forgot about this???? CAN U BELIEVE IT ???#this is like one of the first things i drew back in like April i think#i still love it tho#recently i have been drawing them doing some heehee shit instead of the cutesy shit so i need this to stay humble#remember my roots…#anyway if ur still reading this hooray u get bonus stuff like usual w my tags#giving him a huge praise kink. he is doing SUCH a good job he is doing the best job EVER#this would be a bit further in their relationship (pending™️) where the intimacy walls are slowly being worn down#so hes seeking out touch and affection and all that goodness instead of reflexively flinching away#and gus SEES this so hes trying so hard to encourage him like BLEASE….i did not dick around for months for this to NOT pay off#he is a patient man but theres only so much patience one Can have#and that patience IS rewarded#its funny bc i write gus as like. a top. a general Dom bc he is both patient and assertive#and hes met someone he GENUINELY w his WHOLE chest wants to bottom for and he cant do it bc this bigass dude is a lil princess™️#and so for now he is being the big boy but hes like counting down in his head when theyre able to get to a space comfy enough for him#where he gets to get his back blown out (its soon)#i hope that doesnt make it seem like hes only being nice to get dicked down bc he is actually always this nice#and full of love bursting at the seams#which results in endless praise and pdas and being a bit more playful than usual (bc he is a silly lil joyous gnome; its built in his dna)#so peppino will simply have this forever :)#okay mwah#i will slowly upload my stuffs since twitter is exploding and anyone who isnt niceys about this will be obliterated#like for reals
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ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap
HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!
so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!
this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post
I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER
THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE
so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH
Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat
Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it
now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call
✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨
I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON
when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?
BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY
i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him
(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)
also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players
THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good
I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately
"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"
(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)
making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it
so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!
also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly
it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami
"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"
(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)
It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.
to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime
like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them
SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case
so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs
like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao
(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)
anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY
ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue
Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-
Ed i love you
anyways
anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and
yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay
#help this was. my brain is so not intact today so if this makes absolutely 0 sense i understand#i did end up watching some prime empire stuff during my ramblings and guys. the ending of that season still makes me cry#this is fully prime empire propaganda btw i need to like. talk about the season more because despite what my skybound posting would lead#y'all to believe THIS IS THE ACTUAL SEASON THAT LIVES IN MY HEAD AT ALL TIMES MOST OF MY MUTUALS ARE JUST MORE SKYBOUND BRAINED#AND IT RUBS OFF ON ME EASILY#but no prime empire is the fucking best#if i talk about jay long enough it WILL just turn into prime empire#also after I wrapped up this post i continued thinking more jay thoughts but this post is already long enough#like how jay is actually SO incredibly self-sacrificing and how he cares so much about helping people#also wow i didn't even mention his powers in that whole ramble. rare for me.#one day i wanna do!! a powers masterpost. like how i view all the ninja's elemental powers#but thats another day's project i am. So Eepy#anyways hope y'all appreciated this#also thank u serp for sending this ask which allowed me to Scream into the Void about jay walker#category 11 han moment fr#ninjago#lego ninjago#jay#jay walker#unagami#edna#ed#i have no idea if ANY of this is coherent btw#prime empire#skybound#hunted#quest for the lost powers#ask#spinjitsu screams
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i just think bill wouldn’t ever once actually consider being romantically entangled with anyone that worships/worshiped him at any point.
i think he categorizes everyone into two camps: stupid, and not-stupid (NOT the same thing as smart) and if you worship him (which in his mind he views as The Sensible Thing To Do) you get put in the stupid camp. and live there forever. sorry :/
#cyber.com#billdip#(<- i'll get there eventually. give me a second.)#does this make sense. i’ve been turning this thought over in my head for the past few days and i can't quite word it properly#anyway this is also why i don’t think biIIford would work. ford was put into the stupid category when he & bill first met & he’s never gonn#work his way out of it. sorry :/#(i think that bill ‘regrets’ what happened w ford in the. “damn i blew it. i had a worshiper! he almost helped me take over the world!”#kinda way but the problem w their relationship for him was that he wasn't patient enough. not all the fucked up shit he did to ford. if he#could do it again the only thing he’d change is his patience. but if ford stepped outta line again he’d do the exact same things#to ford again.)#like i think bill believes worshiping him is the correct option. but he’d also think u were stupid for it. not worth his time.#anyway. i think the reason bill is so annoyed & angry at stanley for defeating him is because bill categorized him wrong.#bill put him in the stupid category & only later was forcibly confronted with the fact that he SHOULDN'T have.#also like. i think he'd get angry if you didn't fit in the stupid category. he wouldn't see you as a threat but he'd be annoyed at it.#the best analogy i can think of is the madonna-whore complex?#he doesn't respect anyone who worships him bc they're debased. but he wouldn't be able to BE with anyone that didn't worship him just a bit#with all that being said. this is how billdip can still win--
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