#still not done with this damn book
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syl and kal hours <3
#sylphrena#kaladin stormblessed#wind and truth#the stormlight archive#fan art#still not done with this damn book#im on day 6#WIP
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Do you even know whether you're running toward or away from something anymore? I guess it's all just running, all the same.
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#the sims 4#ts4#ts4 screenshots#ts4 alpha#ts4 edits#ts4 story#The Journey Forward#ch: Sabrina#so i'm def not committing to full time storytelling again bc I SIMPLY do not have it in me#HOWEVER#i'm going to get this damn book done one way or another#and if that means recreating every major scene in the sims to do so then SO BE IT#if anyone remembers any of the many iterations of this scene i've played around with over the years (including the original)#let me kith u#this is my first real utilization of the increased picture limit on here and lemme tell u#i'm about to be a PROBLEM#where was this when i was in my storytelling prime#anyway i'm v happy with how this came out#although i am not happy to retraumatize Bri once again#the story's changed a lot but there's still a ton that remains the same#bc honestly the bones of this story are still etched into my soul#it just need a little...refining#and i rly hope if i have any former readers that are still around that you guys like the changes i've made#and i'm really excited to have y'all along for the journey forward#har har see what i did thar#i think that's my cue to skedaddle#i'll see myself out
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The Road To The Spear may just be peak WoT
like come to find out everybody ate
#The Aiel thread with Rand was so damn interesting and well done#I’m still wrapping my mind around the storytelling and worldbuilding being done here it’s so impressive I’m sure the books go crazy#and omg Moiraine my love 😫 I wish she’d give herself a break#wot on prime#the road to the spear#wot s3#the wheel of time#wheel of time#s3 e4#rand al'thor#josha stradowski#moiraine damodred#rosamund pike#dragon reborn#rhuidean#aviendha#ayoola smart#aiel#tree of life
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26.08.23, saturday
today was what we like to call "productive procrastination" aka the rest of my life is in shambles but I now have a clean kitchen
#cleaning is the best procrastination thing#also cleaning the kitchen is my favorite chore#idk why but it's so damn satisfying to me#did a deep clean today like emptied cupboards and cleaned and sorted them out also#but hey that assignment & exam that's due tomorrow?? how about maybe doing something for that?? just a thought tho#(it's a very small easy course that i was supposed to do the very first year bc it's like the basics of ''this is how u use terminal'' and#like i know that so i've kept putting it off bc boring as fuck but i should get it done still (it's mandatory))#studyblr#bookblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#studyspo#chaotic academia#dark academia#august 2023#2023
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temeraire wizard au.......
#WILLIAM LAURENCE IN A BIG WIXARD HAT#“HELP! I OPENED A SUMMONER'S BOOK AND NOW IVE STOLEN THE FRENCH EMPEROR'S FAMILIAR” THE MANGA#EVERYONE DO YOU SEE MY VISION#idk maybe this is still temeraire frog au that would be funny#temeraire rocking up and sonic blasting some guy's houseboat and all the other wizards are standing around horrified like#so so sorry about the property damage sir we didnt know our magic frogs could do that#china arc is temeraire acvidentally sonic blasting yongxing and lien the vengeful frog.... out to cause property damage to great britain#for her vicious revenge... scary....#i guess the wizards are just out here attempting to do stuff but they need familiars to DO magic -> the familiars always have some wacky#powers (unintended) -> half of a wizards education is learning hoe to do home repairs and plumbing. to repair the property damages of their#familiar#granby is in the trenches lol#thats why wider society dont care for wizards. on account of the repair costs#“my taxes are going to those damn frogs !”#coincidenrally frogs is no lomger slang for french. maybe they can be newts instead or soemthing#french wizards out here with their snail familiars#in china its dragons and they all solidly believe in buddhism. “oh.. a frog.. in your next life i pray you rebirth into a talking horse”#temeraires mum sees her son and shes like OHH WHAT HAS THIS WHITE MAN DONE TO MY DRAGON SON and meanwhile temeraire is like damn whats wrong#w being a frog#this implies the form of a familiar is purely based on geographical location. okay fair enough#frogland england..#okay this is mega funby actually ill draw it at some point ahahaa#temeraire#au tag#temeraire wizards au
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sometimes i get a note on my <redacted> sideblog and i'm like oh yeah that was a thing
#lol i was obsessed with something so cringe in 2021-22#i am free now <3#sidenote: i am soo annoyed right now and i don't know why? like i'm overstimulated i guess but i am turning into the most massive bitch eve#jess asked me to help them buy some things on ebay and the seller is a Moron. so i am having to message this foolish cunt.#that damn sink is Still running :)))))))))))) <- this is my 'i am about to lose it silverback gorilla style' face#it's slightly warm in here. my uterus is still rearranging itself. i haven't washed my hair in a While. and i'm kind of tired.#also i need a giant to ring my spine out like a washcloth.#ALSO charlie's appointment was today and the vet found nothing wrong with her. gave jess some like... squirty gel for hairballs???#and also said we could give her zyrtec??? which is a human allergy medication. i don't know why the fuck that would help but okay???#so yeah. cat mystery unsolved. house intolerable. live =/= worth living#??? goddd i just wanna read my book and go to bed but i also need to message my besties back bc i have been a shit about that lately.#and also i have asks. and i wanted to post some wipw stuff (bc i wrote a massive amount last time and saved some bc i knew the uterus#was about to Act Up and i wouldn't feel good for writing)#so like i have some done and ready to goooo but UGHHH posting things TWT#also sigh. i just i really need to be medicated and/or given a padded room to go insane in lol#diaerie
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Flicked back through my a-level copy of Frankenstein recently - shoutout to 16 year old me for the only annotations in the entire section where Victor made the Creature being ‘plosives’ ‘imago dei’ and ‘ironic, he’s sexist’. I stand by all of those statements.
#I imagine there were some other details in there that might have been helpful to essay writing love but well done all the same.#to be fair I can actually still recall in quite a lot of detail exactly the arguments I wanted to make that those annotations linked to#so yk#I guess it’s decent annotating#concise and straight to the point#rather out of character for me#especially considering there are some pages in all of my a level books where it’s actually damn near impossible to read the text#because I’ve written in every conceivable space#mary shelly's frankenstein#mary shelley#Frankenstein’s monster#victor frankenstein#frankenstein#a level english literature#dk rambles about random stuff
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IM GONNA CRY MY BAGGINSHIELD OBSESSION IS SLOWLY SLIPPING AWAYYY
#i REFUSE to let it go#around this time of the year the urges to get into harry potter again are strong#but I REFUSE#I DID NOT ESCAPE THAT FANDOM FOR NOTHING#and anyway the rest of my tolkien obsession is still going strong#still reading those damn books#when im done im gonna be brave and start the silmarillion#splookie.txt
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your Kon post was sooooo good, like yes the core four are queer platonic, however Kon is hypersexual enough to have made out with (or more) everyone in young justice at least once, yes, including the non-corporal Greta don’t ask me how that worked
I love all of these posts!!! how many of these ask game things do you have in your inbox??
thank you so much!! and i ABSOLUTELY agree with you on hypersexual Kon (truly i just adore characters with grooming/rape trauma like Kon coping through the lense of hypersexuality) and even if YJ is queerplatonic, Kon has made his way through most of them. including Greta. he's creative he'd find a way. probably involving TTK. bc TTK in sex is a thought i have daily. endless potential for using it to basically turn someone's body into a living fleshlight he can manipulate from the inside out- specifically have a TimKonBart idea in my head about that where Kon coaches Bart through sex, since Bart is a speedster with a bonkers refractory period who struggles to feel satisfied, and Tim is caught between them getting used to get Bart off with Kon using TTK to manipulate Tim's body. fun times. fun ideas.
currently, i have one more ask game ask in my inbox (tho always feel free to send more!) that's BruJay focused. though i *do* also have a couple other asks that are just ideas i pan to use as prompts for full fics. just haven't gotten to those yet bc i'm currently busy with packing to move states so. i have *not* had the time to write i wish i had. i will not reveal too much but one involves JayTim fucking during the Titans Tower incident, another is JayTim with animal traits leading to porn, and then another is Tim/Kon/Jon with incest kink stuff. so! i have many things planned, i just need to settle into my new place, however long that takes.
#necrotic answerings#kindly praise#this was so sweet aaaa#i'm about to go to sleep so the brujay ask will be held off until tomorrow#but i will get to it#and i *hope* if the tim/kon/jon fic is short enough i can *possibly* get it done tomorrow too#i'm. mostly done packing. i just have to get my clothes and books in boxes.#i do not have *any* idea how much time i'll reasonably have to write once i move bc#well i'm moving in with my sister to help take care of her baby so yk. baby. sort of more important than fanfic.#but i mean it's just a baby so i figure I'll still have some time#see the real question is not will i have time to write tomorrow#it's will i emotionally be available. i've been crying on and off for days. pls.#i truly will let the ask game go on as long as ppl keep sending them. i do not mind i'm having just as much fun as y'all#tho i might reblog some other ask games just to spice it up a bit#i gotta find some fun ones#still plan to do a prompt list to write ficlets for the drive#3 days in a uhaul with my parents. def won't lose my mind at all no sir.#they will try to kill each other and I'll be the damn witness.#also when i say queerplatonic. i do include fucking.#it's the aromantic in me i think. but queerplatonic couples can fuck as a treat.#i will not elaborate on how that works. i'm just an aro lil guy who thinks sex isn't always about. the sex. and more about. the closeness.#none of my friends agree with this take they think i'm unhinged btw.
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I was listening to an interview of Gagne's about her sociopathic condition and some of these parts really resonated with Tobias. Like her mentioning she's masking "right now" (during the interview) otherwise she'd be smiling and blinking far less, the story about how as a child she felt a pressure building up in her and when another kid who was sitting next to her annoyed her at the wrong moment she stabbed them and the stabbing made her feel startlingly euphoric, the way she was discussing empathy as something learned from society and intended to gain something from (a dopamine release/good feeling) because she doesn't understand any actions that are done by neurotypicals for no reason, her experience having to mimic her neurotypical sister to fit into society, the relief she felt when she met her husband who didn't shy away from her despite her unburdening herself to him about all of her (the bad, scary & unnerving qualities/actions/etc included)... there are a bunch of differences between her & Tobias' experiences too, obviously, but at least THESE parts were very on the nose. Especially one declaration that stood out to me: "Doing something morally unacceptable was a way to force a pop of color [in my life]" which is exactly why Tobias does anything he does. That pop of color. That derived amusement. The odd joy that follows which is the only thing he can really feel out of the positive cluster of emotions.
#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#◜✧ . ❪ tobias ; meta. ❫#I like researching about people with aspd (sociopathic aspd in particular... go figure why...) & I think the clearest glimpse I can get#is from mixing the stories of homicidal sociopaths with the stories of everyday sociopaths. which were/are still criminal in Some regard#but who didn't act on their homicidal or aggressive impulses for one reason or another & instead are far more/basically harmless#It's the most likely approach to help me understand the truth behind sociopathy instead of Just basing things off of common knowledge#bc lbr sociopaths aren't exactly portrayed in the greatest way in media! And Tobias doesn't help much considering his whole backstory#and how That has influenced him make him feel closer to the usual sociopaths we can find in media/news than the less harmful ones#but now that he's also... a little less rigid? or a bit more open?? idk how to explain whatever he's got going around Ash.#but yeah whatever That's called. I think I should delve a bit more into the regular sociopaths' lifestyles & belief systems#to gauge what's the shared ground between All sociopaths (what really MAKES them sociopathic) in various 'normal' contexts#I took the PCL test & everything for him he IS 100% a sociopath. The only issue is they tend to be vastly diff from one another#so I'm squinting at all the Shared traits I see in their books/shows/interviews/etc like I'm a clinical psychologist on duty 😭#One day I should write a long ass meta post about Tobias' sociopathic tendencies bc golly gee there's so much to yap about 😮💨#I do think he'll never be fully comfortable w someone who won't accept Every side of him tho. He's fine masking since he's done that#all his life & he sure isn't gonna stop anytime soon but doing that 24/7 can sometimes be pretty damn irritating. sometimes even exhausting#& obviously he sometimes wants to throw the damn facade on the floor and relax even if he can be unsettling as hell during those times#He will never show his 'real self' to sb he doesn't entirely trust btw. Not unless they're abt to die which erm... not ideal circumstances!#so 99.9% of people will never see the REAL Tobias bared naked to his core personality. Most will get some degree of truth mixed in with#a lot of societal bs that's either expected of him or that he wants to do to obtain their trust/friendship/etc. NEVER the full picture!
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Me??? Attatching myself to a dnd character so much that I got a tattoo in honor of her after a week into me quitting smoking??? Because she inspires me to live and to heal and to be anything I choose to be????
Pshhhh, nah. Couldn't be me.
#a starstruck odyssey#sundry sidney#this wasnt entirely spontaneous either#i drew the first picture#with the idea that I'd get it tattooed#months before i did#but I didnt want to get it while i was still in that place#it didnt feel right#so once i quit i booked my appointment a week after being clean#its something i wanted for a while#but also a reminder#im happier now#im healthier#im me again#and for once I'm actually really damn proud to be me#so thanks#emily axford#for creating a character like sundry sidney#she inspires me so much#and has done so much for me#also#I've had this tattoo for over a month now#i just got busy getting my life back and rediscovering who i am#but I'm still excited about it even now!!#it means so much to me#might get it colored one day too#pink ofc
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the 100 started off so good and now im so disappointed
#I didn’t even finish s2 but what the fuck was that#I’ve never quit a show bc of a character death#BUT IT WAS SO UNECESSARY#HE SURVIVED SO LONG THEY COULDVE EASILY SAVED HIM#god fucking damn it#also I’ve searched some stuff about the books and apparently those r ass too#bro im so done I thought I found a new fandom#ALSO WHY DOES NO ONE SHIP FINN AND CLARKE WHAT#IK HE DIES BUT STILL#THE FHEMISTRY WAS SO#ALSO HIS CONFESSJONS???#HE MURDERED A VILLAGE FOR HER????#chat I can’t anymore this show was a waste of time don’t watch it#the 100#finn collins#clarke griffin#bellamy blake#octavia blake#reverie’s daydreams
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The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle is so queer coded and I don't know if it was intentional or not but my entire childhood suddenly makes sense now lmao
The whole trial Jaggery says she's "unnatural" and later he tells her he despises her for it. She insists it is unusual, and not unnatural, as there is a difference but he INSISTS that everything about her is unnatural; how she's a girl who sails, who cut her hair, who wears sailor's clothing, etc. She has become his scapegoat because she is unnatural and different and he is determined to make her take the fall for it.
#I NEED TO KNOW IF IT WAS DONE ON PURPOSE#if it wasnt it still fits so damn well#rachel talks about books#the true confessions of Charlotte Doyle
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i think nesta definitely knew that that guy she was trying to get to marry her while she was human idr his name idc and his father were abusive but she was raised with low expectations regarding marriage anyway and her only purpose as the eldest sister was to marry into a financially well off family to ensure her sisters’ futures and it didn’t matter how she was treated as long as she made that happen
#i fucking hate the first person pov narrative in this damn series#feyre is not a reliable narrator#’i was the sole provider for my familllyyyy’ wahhh wahhhhh shut up#you’re also the sole reason your sisters are treated like ass by your ‘friends’#so how about that huh#anyway nesta would have endured that abuse if it meant feyre and elain were supported#just like feyre did with tamlin#and she still would even despite the treatment by the IC#in fact she DOES because book cassian DOES abuse her :) so :)#anyway. i’m done with the tea for now (for now for now)
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mgsv has so many literary references to books i have essays abt it kind of makes me.
#i'm sick this is my slightly fever-induced thought stream in the rest of the tags sorry ->#all the 1984 stuff is really interesting. the position of both ocelot and kaz as the people running room 101 is really fascinating.#because it somehow manages to place huey in the position of winston while also having venom be in the position of winston.#<- would that make quiet julia? actually yes it does bc of her nature motifs.#and the whole game seems to doublethink of whats real and what isn't. though it starts to tell you what isn't real its still there.#and then with moby dick you have pequod which is just. the ship. and queegueg who is ishmaels friend. which is why its kind of perfect he i#the other pilot we see who takes kaz places. and theres other stuff with him but i don't want to get into that. i could go on for a while.#but whats interesting is that ahab seems to apply more to kaz than it does to venom. esp because his own deception results in his downfall.#whereas that isn't true with venom if youve played mg1 he just kinda keeps going with it to at least some degree.#and i guess kaz is working for foxhound but you know what i mean.#ocelot even being the perfect counterpart to starbuck who works at kaz's side but disagrees with his methods to an extreme.#he isn't of the same morals as starbuck but its just the oppositional character type.#does that mean cipher is moby dick. yes actually bc of the leg thing with kaz. oh my god.#<- funny enough i am actually getting moby dick back out of the library bc i never finished it and its been ages since i read what i did.#i remember the narration being kind of nuts.#honestly the lord of the flies stuff feels less like a reference and more like eli read that book and decided he wanted to do it irl. lol.#i can't say these books are even close to being favorites but i'm intimately familiar with both 1984 and lotf so those are. those.#and moby dick is genuinely just kind of. what in the hell did i experience. theres a lot to unpack.#and i didn't even finish the damn thing.#ok i'm done now i just needed to get that out of my system. now i'm off to read veniss underground. 👍#.txt
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realizing i might have been right the first time and i'm might have to wait to read the carnivorous lamb until after i'm done with the legend trilogy
#i'll read it as soon as i'm done but damn yeah i'm Fixating and i won't be able to give this book the attention it deserves#if i'm reading it at the same time as legend#that being said i still want to try to read them both bc i don't want to put the carnivorous lamb on hold#txt
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