#still mad tho

[feral-fag]

"Good luck beating your natural instinct to pant and get fucked like the dog you are" -actual thing my friend said to me tonight

[zugmode]

this being my horoscope today. when i discovered that a book i had been reading all semester didn’t actually help me in writing my historiography. and i had to bounce back and find a different book. when the paper is due in five days.

“get better.” FUCK YOU

[oh-no-its-bird]

Every time I try to reblog smthn with my own additions, tumblr eats it I'm actually so mad but at least this time I didn't write that much so I didn't lose anything too big like last time

[hisui-dreamer]

ok i've just decided to stop rolling for this banner because its rigged and wait for next year's halloween

[de4dlyniightshade]

every year for christmas my family asks what i want rather than buying something i might not like and this year i asked for new converse bcs my beloved ones are falling apart and when i got the new ones i was like??? why don't i recognise these whatsoever? they're like so similar to the ones i have but just slight different and i couldn't find them anywhere...THEYRE FUCKING KIDS SHOES. THESE MOTHERFUCKERS GOT ME KIDS SHOES. THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY.

i will admit that they fit like a glove but it's not the point!

[charlieslowartsies]

i was supposed to work on Lies Within or Salience, work on a ych plan and do 3 loads of laundry.

ive done nothing and its 2:15pm which means its almost 5 which means the day is over

hate this shit

[luxpenumbra]

fuming bc I went to see if farandolae was taken as a url bc I wanted it and it was taken and i went to the blog and it was empty and said "saved url"

now would I have done anything with the url had I obtained it? probably not but at least i would have given the blog a proper title & header & stuff >:(

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[swampndn]

You ever have dreams where you have what you've always wanted then wake up knowing you're not even remotely close to that? Like wtf that's mean, brain

[dogs2thesequel]

okay breakdown cancelled i found what i was looking for

[twinstxrs]

gorgug “i’m in hell right? thank god” “what’re we playin’ for” “do you have a fucking warrant?” “i think i hate you” thistlespring u will always be famous and you will ALWAYS be loved

[queerpanicking]

so…that was an interesting episode

[rendevok]

“Take my hand” a comic for NaruMitsu Week 2023

day 1 - lies & secrets - 2 - 3 - 4

[violet-dragongirl]

I am an idiot i entirely forgot about Sound and Fury I'm sorry guys

[theredumbrellatheory]

BE NICE TO HIM 🤬

[fridgrave2-0]

hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au

turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else

now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident

also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out