#steddyhands shenanigans

[bougiebutchbitch]

@eijaksa's tags got my brain buzzing......

Okay but imagine Izzy is legitimately in a bad way from the fever. None of them know if he's going to make it. Stede and Ed have him in their bed while they take the sofa/the floor. They take it in turns to watch over him during the night, unsure if he's gonna make it through till morning.

At one point, when Stede and Ed are both awake during the midnight handover, Izzy blearily reaches towards them, smiling like a total dork. Burbling about how his husbands are soooo fucking pretty and he's the luckiest guy in all the oceans to be married to such amazing men.

Stede sighs. "Oh, excellent," he says, exhaustion dragging on every word. "Now he's hallucinating."

Ed shushes him. He grabs Izzy's hand and kneels at the bedside. "Yeah, babe," he says - whether to make a joke out of this or to offer Izzy genuine comfort, only he knows. "We're here."

Only Izzy looks directly at him with glazed eyes and a wavery smile and says "Love you, Eddie."

Then he turns to Stede. "Love you, Stede. My captains. My husbands. Love you so much."

There's a gaping silence.

Stede and Ed stare at each other, then at Izzy, frozen but for the twitch of their eyes. Did he just say...? Does this mean...??? He knows it's them, and he's still saying all of this?

Ed grimaces, extracting himself from Izzy's feeble grip. Izzy would never let this slip into the open air if he were himself. How can Ed enjoy this confession, when it's a testament to how far gone Izzy is? Fuck, Ed can't lose him. Not after everything. He can't...

Stede, meanwhile, has bluescreened. Izzy... loves him? Him?? And as for what he feels for Izzy... Well, a year ago, he would've confidently proclaimed that he hated the little bastard as much as Izzy hated him. Now... he's not so sure.

Izzy stares at them, smile slowly falling from his face. His hand drops weakly onto the covers of their bed, and he sags against the pillows. "Kay," he mumbles into them, and Stede and Ed realise with a jerk that he was waiting for them to say it back.

They don't even have to swap a glance to communicate their intentions. They already know.

Stede and Ed pile onto the bed, bracketing Izzy, grasping his pale, sweaty hands. Interlocking their fingers, like they're tying knots in the lines.

"Of course we love you, silly," says Stede, because Ed's throat has clogged up and he's trying so hard not to cry. "You're our Iz. Our husband. Aren't you?"

Izzy relaxes, squeezing their hands with what little strength he has left. "Yeah," he mumbles, fevered and dazed and oh-so-content. Smiling, small and sweet, in a way even Ed has never seen. "Yeah. M'yours. Always. Forever."

"Our husband," chokes Ed. He bundles Izzy into his arms, roughly kissing the top of our head. "Yeah. Which means you're not allowed to leave us until we all die together, okay?"

Stede opens his mouth to inform Ed that this isn't actually what that part of the matrimonial vows means. Then he shuts it again. He shuffles in to hug Ed around Izzy's back, sandwiching their first mate between them.

"You heard Ed," he says, mock-authoritative, in Izzy's ear (and.... yeah, he's never gonna forget the tiny shiver Izzy makes in response, or the way he pushes his floppy, fever-hot body back against Stede's. Dammit.) "You've got to survive this. Husband's orders."

"Husbands' orders," mumbles Izzy into Ed's hair, nodding like that's in any way a sane or rational thing to say. Then he plants a messy kiss on Ed's jawline and falls back asleep.

He breathes so laboriously, like it hurts him. Chest rattling on the inhale, struggling to fill. Stede swaps a grim look with Ed. They both know this is bad. But, at the very least, they've given Izzy some happiness in his last days. Some comfort. And, oh, but if only they could've talked this through together sooner; if only they had more time... If only this wasn't a tragedy.

Only, as it turns out, this show is a fucking romcom.

The next morning, the fever breaks. Roach cheerily informs the Co-captains that Izzy is through the worst of it. So long as they make sure he keeps eating and drinking and resting as much as humanely possible - even if they have to tie him to the bed - he'll make a full recovery.

Izzy refuses to meet Stede or Ed's eyes. He remembers everything, including how much he 'embarrassed' himself while half-lost in delirium.

Clinging to them, telling them all about the feelings he's kept stomped way down at the bottom of his belly... Fuck. He's so fucking pathetic. They played along out of fucking pity, he knows it. If he wasn't too lethargic to lift his legs, he'd strap on his hoof, stomp to the edge of the deck, and hurl himself over again to finish the job.

"We can just pretend that never happened," he croaks, as soon as Roach leaves the room. "It's fine. Whatever."

He looks so small, cuddled up under the sweat-soaked blankets of Ed and Stede's bed. All alone.

Obviously, this has to be rectified.

"What happened?" says Ed, though he looks sad about it. Stede's heart squeezes for him - he knows what Ed's trying to do; protecting Izzy's pride, in the way he thinks Izzy wants. But Stede's not so sure that is what Izzy wants.

Taking a chance - assuring himself that Izzy's too sick to stab him if he's misjudged - Stede crawls onto the mattress next to Izzy, grasping his hand like he did last night. Lifting it to his lips, dropping a kiss on the dry, cracked knuckles while looking into Izzy's baggy, deep-set eyes.

"We looked after our husband," he says, privately congratulating himself on the hitch in Izzy's breath, the way his guarded expression shatters, just for a split-most second, revealing something vulnerable and desperate through the cracks. "Like married men are supposed to. For better or worse, in sickness or health - isn't that right, Ed?"

Ed assesses Izzy, searching for his reaction. Whatever he sees, it makes his face break into a broad smile. "Yeah," he says, shuffling onto the bed to reclaim his and Stede's positions from the previous night. One on each side of Izzy, their pinkies brushing where they rest over Izzy's legs. "Sounds about right. You got a problem with that, Iz?"

Izzy shakes his head. His eyes have gone shiny as wet pebbles, and he bites his lip like he doesn't trust himself to speak. Stede draws him into a hug, chivalrous enough not to mention the tiny snuffly sobs coming from his chest region. His gaze seeks Ed, over Izzy's lank salt-and-pepper hair. He finds him looking at Izzy in that way Izzy so often looks at Ed: awe-struck, yearning, like Ed hung the entire sky.

"You'd better recover fast, mate," Ed tells Izzy. "I wanna make proper honest men outta the two of you."

Izzy snorts moistly into Stede's feeble attempt at chest hair. Stede spares a moment to marvel at how the prospect of marriage - to the two lovely, deadly, brilliant men before him - can feel like the sturdy knots of the mainstays that hold the mast in place, rather than the knot of a noose.

Izzy goes overboard in a storm and is in a bad way when Ed pulls him out. Head lolling, lips blue, barely breathing.

Obviously they have to get him warm - so Ed snuggles him down in bed with him and Stede, all of them in minimal clothing.

Stede is delightfully charmed by how Izzy keeps mumbling both of their names even though he's barely conscious and cuddling closer to them, open and needy in a way he'd never let himself be while awake. Ed is just so fucking relieved that Izzy's okay, he refuses to let go of him for anything, burying his head in the weathered skin at the base of his throat and breathing him in.

Cue Izzy waking up the next morning and being like 😳Fuck. D-did we.... 😳 are we, like... together?

He's still a tiny bit fevered and low on inhibitions, and the naked hope on his face is breaking Ed's heart

So Ed looks at Stede with big pleading eyes and Stede immediately grins and nods, and Ed wraps his arms around Izzy and gives him a big' ol cuddle and says "Yeah mate, absolutely, we're together now. Talked it all through last night. Us three against the world, mmkay?"

And Izzy just relaxes against him, burying his face in his chest, muttering "Oh thank fuck, took us long enough"

Anyway sometimes Your Little Guy almost dying is just what you need to drag him into the throuple lsdhkfgdksgf

[izzymarksthespot]

There's been an idea rattling around in my head, vaguely inspired by this post (can't find the original for the life of me): angsty Steddyhands/Stizzy/Gentlebeard soulmate au, where you cannot physically hurt your soulmate - as in your body simply won't let you.

Prepare yourself, this is a long one.

Izzy, increasingly irked and unsettled by Bonnet's influence on his captain, challanges him to a duel like in s1e8. Stede accepts, the duel commences - but as it goes on Izzy cannot shake the feeling of wrong wrong wrong which follows, making his movements sluggish, blows weaker and heartbeat fast and anxious.

Finally, he has Bonnet pinned - only when he tries to run the other man through with his sword, he can't do it. He freezes mid-thrust, muscles of his sword hand seizing, the blade of the rapier an inch away from the blonde's stomach. They stare at each other in shock, and soon commotion starts as the crew tries to see what exactly is going on, and did Izzy actually stab the captain? Ed hovers over them both in panic and confusion.

Izzy drops his sword at his captains prompting, and backs away with a "What the fuck did you do to me, you bastard?!" aimed at an equally flabbergasted Stede. While they bitch at each other, the crew wonder aloud what has happened and how odd it was that Izzy just froze (Izzy's never done that before!), and Lucius goes with a mocking "aww, Iggy actually likes the captain and doesn't want him hurt, how sweet!"

Buttons comes around then, takes in the scene, eyes Izzy with an unreadable expression, and goes "Nay, Mister Spriggs, more like cannae bring hisself to. I reckon 's only one reason fer it."

Everyone's like 🤨🤨 and Izzy's about to retort something scathing and awful, but suddenly he gets an inkling in the back of his head, a flash of a memory and words actually fail to come out of his mouth.

And Buttons just easily goes with "you cannae hurt yer soulmate, can ya?" and all hell breaks loose. Obviously everyone is laughing the idea off, cause come on, Stede and Izzy? There is no way, what an idiotic idea! Buttons, no more moonbathing for you, you're talking more nonsense than ever!

Both interested parties are strangely quiet though.

Frenchie - who's well informed on the soulmate matter, ofc - suggests they can simply test it out: all Stede and Izzy have to do is touch (skin to skin) to see if the soul marks appear.

Before either Stede or Izzy can reject that idea, it's Ed who does, there will be no fucking checking or touching; there's an aura of danger coming off of him in droves and his dark eyes are trained solely on Izzy.

Long story short, he throws Izzy off the ship (figuratively, just orders him to leave), Izzy's hurt and sells out Stede to the British (the only soulmate he has is Blackbeard and he wants him back), the whole shenanigans with act of grace still happen - Stede still leaves Ed and goes back to Bridgetown; and Ed spirals even harder in his absence because now he additionally thinks Stede left cause they're not soulmates (Stede actually could and did run him through with his sword, and if they were he wouldn't be able to, would he?)

He goes into the Kraken mode, taking most of his anger and hurt onto the person who is obviously responsible for this - Izzy.

[apostatehamster]

Oh no! Another person's 2 cents on the OFMD finale situation!

Yes, because unfortunately my mind still hasn't settled and is in a state of disbelief over what happened, and I am trying to unravel all of this to make sense of it. Written from the perspective of a sad Izzy fan, so if you do not care to read about that or are simply tired of reading these mind pieces... well don't. And do not bother interacting.

I want to preface this by saying, I do believe Writers should be writing the story they think is right. It is impossible to please everyone so I prefer Author's sticking to their vision rather than bending to the loudest (in most cases, read: displeased) voices of the audience. However, I also think people are entitled to voice their displeasure over writing decisions in a constructive way. I don't condone hate towards authors, actors or anyone involved in the making of the show and if you feel angry enough to send hate or threats, take a walk and calm down instead of being a jerk. That being said, I watched many shows with decisions I did not agree on and few made me as angry & sad as this one, hence me trying to dismantle why.

False marketing, expectations and broken promises

Frankly I hadn't seen much advertising about the show before, most of it was fandom activity that praised the show as feelgood and comfort, with good queer representation. I got into it pretty late, so I can't tell what the show itself presented itself as, but to me it seemed like they fully embraced that image and encouraged the show to be perceived as such. It's a rom-com after all, many laughters and sappy feelings. A safe space-ship for outcasts, so to speak. We expected drama but also making-up and possibly more shenanigans. What we did not expect, was a rather prominently featured character dying as one got used to happening from other shows.

OFMD promised to be different, or at least that was my and many others' impression, and then it turned that around in the last 10 minutes of the finale. But more about that and tonal shifts later.

What baffled me most were the interviews hailing in at the start of season two. I've read articles about how season 2 was leaning into the Ed/Izzy/Stede triangle with David Jenkins saying these three "are on an arc together that’s pretty inseparable". I mean we had Izzy being called a jilted lover before, and in addition to Ed & Stede's love declaration, we also had Izzy declare he had love for Ed, and Ed as well saying He loved him, best he could. There was a lot of love, but it was complicated, and the article gave hope that this season would sort this out.

But after the finale, we got interviews that declared Izzy was a father/mentor figure to Ed, which is such a weird claim that is absolutely unfounded in the way the characters interacted with each other, as well as the fact that Izzy's death apparently was something planned from the beginning as an ending to his arc. And well, I find that death separates characters quite definitely.

I am not saying that Steddyhands was promised to us, gods no, but we were definitely given a chance at it happening, when in fact, the ending had already been written as the complete opposite.

Reception and cognitive dissonance

Every person is different and thus has different feelings and opinions. I've seen Izzy fans hating the finale obviously, I've seen Izzy fans who said they liked it. I've also seen people who weren't explicitly Izzy fans say, they did not like the finale, so really, opinions can go any way.

However what baffled me is Jenkins feeling he delivered a truly happy end. Personally, I've never watched a character die and thought "This makes me happy." I especially would never describe a character struggling through hardship, just to ultimately die as happy or beautiful. I can only imagine that the focus was on Ed and Stede, when a happy ending was mentioned, but Jenkins kept pointing out in the interviews, how Izzy was his favorite, which gave hope for a happy ending for Izzy as well. As much as I enjoy seeing my favorites go through hardships, I also prefer to keep them around by not dying. I especially do not build my favorite up to be a well fleshed out character with growth, just to reduce them back to a plot device for the main character.

I know this is all based upon the interviews, and less on the show, but when I read "And what's the most interesting thing we can do with Con[...]?" my answer definitely wouldn't have been "kill his character off". Con O'Neill does a great job at playing emotional scenes, but we already had him act his heart out in the first three episodes. A last hurrah wasn't needed.

I am also trying to put myself in David Jenkins' shoes here, because I think he truly expected the last episode to be a happy ending, and a gift, just to be proven differently. I just wonder what went wrong, how one can read the room so completely wrong.

It wasn't malicious, but the fact that it was apparently meant to be a genuine attempt at offering a happy end makes it even worse.

Tonal shifts and established in-Show laws

It's an understatement to say that the tone of season 2 was decidedly more dramatic. To the point where I questioned myself if this was still allowed to be called a comedy show. I would have described season 1 as mostly slice-of-life, little adventures between the crew and the captains. People got hanged, fingers severed, people got stabbed, but you never felt the threat of actual death hanging over anyone's head, because everything was kept humorous. (Speaking of the non-baddies here. Calico Jack got a cannon ball to the head but with plausible deniability of his death & (apparently) an interview saying he could be brought back, if needed)

Enter season 2, which starts off with murder attempts, major wounds and a suicide attempt. Nothing was played off as a joke, and for that I am grateful because that would have been in poor taste, but the tone was noticeably different and darker. But it still wasn't 'realistic' by any standard. With no real doctor on board, Izzy should have died from his wounds and comatose Edward would have wasted away in the hidden cabin. Everyone came out (fucked up but) relatively fine.

The show goes back to the humorous tone with Anne & Mary who enjoy a good backstabbing and poisoning. We had our crew surrounded by death and a curse in the next episode, but there was any fear of them coming to harm, obviously. The crew gets boarded and tortured by Ned and his crew after that, but they are able to take it out and come away unscathed (some wounds aside). Oh no! Stede challenges Zheng Yi to a duel! Which we know means no one is allowed to interfere, until one of the duelants dies. But it's fine, Zheng Yi is just playing with her food. But watch out, a Cannonball flies towards Zheng Yi's head! Ah but she is fine, she escaped. The Swede pulled a Rasputin and got immune to poison without him even noticing! Look, even Auntie survived the explosion, badly wounded but she lives. Oh no! Izzy gets shot! But it's his left side, we established no vital organs are there. Roach and Stede are already on their way to get bandage- Wait they are back with no bandages, and Izzy he-

Oh, wait. He...died?

When watching season 2 I legitimately considered Izzy dying as an end result, because I am used to my favorite characters dying, frankly. But then I dismissed that thought because OFMD has proven again and again, that people do not die. Heck, Lucius was considered dead in the season 1 finale and he came back, albeit traumatized. But he lived to tell the tale.

Season 2 finale made it a point to leave no room for doubt that Izzy did indeed die. They dug him a grave, and they panned to his grave at the end to remind you, he is definitely dead. So, why did Izzy have to die in a world where our favorites can survive about anything? "Pirates die, that's just pirate life", okay but why was he specifically singled out to be the only pirate dying? In comparison to everyone else, it feels unjust, and it feels cruel towards the fans who felt safe in the knowledge that this was the one show where none of their favorites would die. And it feels like such a betrayal of the fans’ trust, who had hoped this show would do better.

I've seen a take along the lines of "Nowadays people expect the stories to be written explicitly for them, and then they get upset when it doesn't happen" and that take pissed me off enough to write this down. This isn't a case of entitled fans asking to change the story to be exactly what they want to be, there is fanfiction for that. No, this is fans upset that their favorite character got singled out by the narrative to be the one exception to the no dying rule. And I use the narrative loosely, because there was no ramification to the death that couldn't also have been established by the character staying alive and giving advice, so the death didn't even feel purposeful. And for a show that always stresses the "Talk it through as a crew" point, they did not care much for choosing talking it through as a solution.

I also heartily disagree that Izzy's arc was over and had no more stories to tell. I mean the guy followed Edward around for decades, I would have loved to hear more about their past.

I would have especially loved to hear more about their future, as two people who learned to let go of Blackbeard and became their own people again. Where exactly did the idea of that even come from, I don't know.

Pacing and Confusing decisions in the Final episode and the build-up into nothing

(Rambling alert!) 

Personally I didn't feel any pacing issues until episode 6. While I generally liked the episode, it felt crammed with both set-up of the baddie, fun-times, then appearance of baddie (and disappearance) and return to fun-times. The episode ended and I was literally perplexed that it was over, like we basically ran through that episode. But episode 8 took the cake.

Now I am well aware they had to cut corners, and the strike didn't make it easier either, and I wish we could have seen the result without these factors. But we got what we got now, and I have to judge based upon that, but I really would know how the final cut decision came to be.

I did like the beginning with Ed chilling as a fisherman, but in hindsight I wished they had cut that part a bit shorter to give more room for the final parts. We get a lot of Ricky dicking around the pirate republic, showing Jackie reluctantly bringing them drinks. Later on she finally decides to poison him. Why she didn't do so earlier, I have no idea, unless the show is trying to tell me The Swede had to build up enough poison tolerance within one episode to withstand the poison attempt, which would be ridiculous. Why the Swede was held as an emotional hostage, I don't know either. I don't want him dead but Jackie has many other husbands, the Swede being singled out was more to hurt the viewers than for Jackie imho.

We have Zheng Yi suffering through Stede's presence. Our queen is suffering through the loss of her whole crew and her aunt, while Stede unsympathetically offers that being a failure gets easier. I expected more compassion from a guy who treasures his own crew and also enjoyed the hospitality of Zheng Yi's ship, but okay. Being a dick for the sake of comedy, I suppose. "Thing's have a way of working out. At least for me" And Zheng Yi proves Stede right by killing the soldiers, and Stede claims that went just as planned. I am not sure what happened to the Stede who successfully avoided being backstabbed in episode 5 and defended his crew in episode 6 and actually seemed competent, just to go back to an ignorant fool, but hm.

Fisherman Ed returns, thinks Stede in danger, and recovers his leathers that somehow are still in the same place, after mindlessly killing everyone in his way. Whatever happened to not wanting to be a monster and not killing and running away from that, it doesn't matter anymore. The flashback of pop-pop tells him he needs to go back to what he is good at, and I guess... this is it??? The Kraken rises from the sea again. Will there be consequences for Ed's emotional state after that? Well, no. Not really. Or not in this season anyway.

Okay Ricky invites Izzy to a drink, he's quite obviously a Izzy fanboy. For what reason he took him out of prison, I don't know. He later says "Sad, I wanted to let you live", implying he had plans for Izzy. What those plans were, we will never know, Ricky never tells us. Izzy talks about what piracy means to him. "It's not about getting what you want" and I don't know if he means pirates generally robbing ships to get treasure, or of himself being perceived as a mastermind or being a captain, because he never inclined he wanted either. So, what a weird thing for him to say. "It's about belonging to something when the world has told you, you're nothing" is a beautiful line that makes me wish we had gotten at least some backstory to Izzy. Then we're shown a picture of the crew from season 1.... with Izzy in the background, quite obviously not belonging (yet). What an odd choice to cut into. You could have used something from season 2 that showed him actually belonging

Ed finds one of Stede's love letters, it's cute, but I am not sure why we needed that to somehow reinforce that Ed loves him. We already saw him worry for Stede and literally revert to his Blackbeard persona to set out and save him. He also didn't leave because he didn't love Stede or doubted Stede's love for Ed, but because he needed to find himself first to make it work. It's not a long scene but it took a bit of the momentum of the Kraken rising from the water from me.

Ed and Stede see each other again and we have a callback to the episode one opener. Which was also the moment where I slowly realized, death was in the cards for Izzy because that dream sequence meant his death. But no, this is OFMD, it'll be fine...

We're back in the cell, and our mates are trying to escape. Auntie is there! Very much alive, despite having been on an exploding ship. Who brought her there?? When was she brought there?? How long has she been there and why did no one bother to check the cloaked figure in the corner? NEVERMIND, Auntie is here and alive I suppose. Bleeding out and we've got no supplies to treat her, but she will walk it off just fine.

Captain trio congratulate themselves on beating a bunch of soldiers. Honestly impressive, outnumbered as they were. Mh, maybe they should get back to the crew tho...?

Auntie realizing she was harsh on Zheng Yi and admitting maybe she needs a different approach. I am seeing a parallel to Izzy later admitting his approach was wrong too. Except (and excuse the bitterness) Auntie gets to continue to "mentor" Zheng Yi.

We get a weird hard cut from "I don't do soft" to the talk between Izzy and Ricky. I really thought the talk had been talked, but some more insults get thrown at Ricky, and the deus ex machina happens as all prisoners are freed from prison, the captain trio arrives and all soldiers die of poisoning. Personally this was the moment where I had to slow blink in disbelief, because everything was happening so fast.

Stede talks about how they need a plan, and how a royal hostage could prove valuable. Another hard cut "SO, that's the plan". We do not hear the plan. We just gather from the following montage that it has to do with dressing up as English soldiers. We get a montage of everyone preparing for battle and dressing up, looking cool in slow motion. And, they did look hella cool, but there was so much buildup for them dressing up for the plan...without knowing what the plan even IS.

And then the plan apparently is.... just Izzy holding Ricky hostage? And the rest waits around and sees how it plays out? And they're just trusting Ricky to go along with their plan and say what they want him to say? Why was Izzy the one who had to hold Ricky hostage? The one person with a visible wooden leg? Not sure if peg-legs are an established pirate thing in this world, but the British seem to think so, because they look down at it. Why did no one check that Ricky had no weapons on him beforehand? And most importantly, where the fuck was Stede during this suicide plan? He is the one who planned it, yet he was nowhere around the group with Ricky, nor did he fight any Soldiers. He only reappears when everyone is running away. What the hell!! Where'd he fuck off to. Again, all this epic plan build up, for the barely existing plan to go up in shambles within 5 seconds, and then they all run. At this point they could have just left Ricky at the Inn and attempted to walk to the ship safely in disguise without ever drawing attention to the soldiers, and they would have had as much chance.

Ed asks Izzy if he is okay and I raise an eyebrow, A) because we as the viewers barely saw him get hit and B) Ed hasn't cared much about Izzy after Stede returns. But okay, we're stumbling back to the ship, surprisingly no one else gets shot.

Izzy is bleeding out on the ship, Stede and Roach run off to get bandages. "Bonnet is in charge, oh great I am fucked" is a true statement, considering Stede was in charge with the plan already and got Izzy to here. Later you hear footsteps approaching offscreen, which I guess were Stede and Roach. They just appear again, with no bandages and no comment. I don't want to get into detail how much I despise Izzy's parting words, and the message they send out, but Izzy throughout this season proved he wanted to live and got ready for living again, just to end up saying he wants to go here, and it's just so utterly wrong. This scene was presented as someone who was healed and now got to die amongst his loved ones, but he was not healed. He practically still believed he deserved what he got, and he died believing Ed did not need him and thus he was unnecessary. If he truly was healed, he would fight to live, if not for himself and his new found family, then for Ed who he still loves, but no. Okay maybe I did want to go into detail, but anyway, many have said it better than me already.

The crew who bonded with Izzy over the whole season stands mutely in the background, leaving the stage to Ed, who has barely cared about Izzy all season. Out of nothing I am supposed to believe Izzy means something to him, after Ed shot him down, discarded of him, happily mentioned to Frenchie that "But most importantly, no more Izzy" like Izzy had been the bane of his existence, the guy he didn't even have the balls to approach first to apologize but instead mocked Izzy when Izzy himself finally broke their silence, I am supposed to believe that Edward suddenly realizes Izzy's worth and that he deserves to be the one grieving, not leaving any space to the crew? I don't think so.

All season I was waiting for them to make up again, patiently, full of hope, but the remaining episodes got less and less. And I held out hope for them to bond over talks and teamwork, remembering how well they worked together before it turned sour, acknowledging that they could do better if they tried, but instead we got this. This is supposed to help Edward move on as Not Blackbeard, but Izzy had already encouraged Ed to not be Blackbeard, yet Ed came back deciding on his own to don his leather outfit again. This is such a back and forth, it's frustrating. They could have accomplished growth without a death, but I've already talked about that.

Also Izzy telling Ed has family now, because the crew loves him. Ed bonded exactly with one person outside of Stede, and that was Fang, who was once Blackbeard's crew anyway. Other than that Ed only hung back and did not give a shit about what the crew was doing, but sure they love him after the non-pology. Where were the scenes to back this claim up, it was utter nonsense.

Okay, we get a burial. No one says a thing, no one's got to say a thing about their unicorn. Everyone leaves, and "That's that then". Stede talks about Izzy, like he hasn't personally bonded with Izzy over the last episodes and like he was simply a guy Ed dragged along (the way season 1 Stede would have felt). Also, no acknowledgement that Stede's plan was what got Izzy killed whatsoever, no remorse.

Aye no time to be sad, we got a wedding now! It lasts less than a minute screen time, and I am still recovering from the emotional impact of a death scene + burial, maybe give me a minute so I can feel happy for LuPete? No? okay.

Stede and Ed decide to build an Inn, nothing either of them has experience in. Also the "family" Izzy promised Ed is sailing away, so that was for nothing as well. What happened to Stede wanting to be a pirate? What happened to Ed returning to being a pirate, because it's what he's good at? What exactly made them change opinions to leave their crew behind and start this? *lame hand gesture at Izzy's grave* This?? I am usually good at looking for clues and details and figuring stuff out in between the lines, but I am left clueless as to what inspired this.

I am 100% sure there were missing scenes that could have helped soften the blow of the death at least, but like this the episode feels jarringly badly patched together. There is no visible impact to the death that would explain the necessity to the narrative (and yes, we are in a story, not real life. Plot points happen because they bring the narrative along, and it didn't here) With everything established beforehand, it felt like the death got shoehorned in, simply because someone said "I want this character to be dead at the end of the season", and then a story was somehow built around this.

And of course people are upset about this, when I watched I thought it was a joke and I was waiting for the little wink telling me it's not what it seems. The theme I gathered from this season was "belonging", and to see the guy accepting that he belonged and deserved to be loved to be left behind and denied a chance to continue with the crew where he BELONGS, because he's dead and gone, is a very stupid choice.

The season had many unexplained and unresolved things that I chose to overlook because the show was still ongoing and I had hoped they would all work out in the end, but they didn't and this sours the whole experience.

Fandom

This has less to do with me unraveling the happenings of the show, but whatever.

I joined very late, a few weeks before season 2 aired. I was however vaguely aware that Izzy was controversial to the fandom and that fans got hate mail for liking the character who "broke the main couple apart". So going into the new season as someone who utterly loved Izzy in season 1, I was skeptical lol

But it was a nice experience. Season 2 showed parts of Izzy that I had already seen but in a way that made it clear to everyone that this guy has Emotional Layers TM and is capable of more than just being the guy throwing a hissy fit. Everyone could sympathize with him, people enjoyed seeing him, and I legit loved going through the tags of the gifsets and reading all the reactions.

Generally I loved seeing the reactions after every new episode, seeing how fandom came together to talk over what happened, and over what they enjoyed. I had expected a very split fandom but it seemed season 2 was somewhat gluing it together. Izzy was finally an "accepted" character and thus it was "okay" now to love him, now that he wasn't trying to break Ed/Stede apart either. The show was feeding fans too, I felt like I feasted every episode up until the finale happened.

And /then/ the finale happened and the illusion went away.

Up to then I thought this was a season for the Izzy fans, with the opener episode showing how ridiculous the take of "Izzy has to die for Ed/Stede to be happy" was in a mocking dream episode, I thought that was David Jenkins acknowledging the hate that has been sent in the direction of Izzy & his fans, and how it's Not That Easy. And then he proved Izzy was more than that.

And then he killed Izzy off, so Ed/Stede could be happy and we've come full circle again.

Of course Izzy fans were upset, because it felt like a final fuck you after a season full of promises that it would be okay, and of course people were voicing their displeasure and sadness over it. Some people were downright grieving the character, and I can tell you I Am People. I went through the 5 stages of grief, through bargaining and anger directly after the finale, sadness the whole day after, crying over it because it felt so unjust to me. And maybe these reactions seem extreme to you, but that does not mean that people aren't feeling awful about the finale, that it truly hurt them. And you do not get to mock people for feeling in pain. What do you gain from that? If you liked the finale, fine, everyone is different, but allow the people who were shaken by it to express their emotions. Processing emotions takes time, and as a part of this I wrote a goddamn essay to make peace. The least you could do is not be a dick.

Parting thoughts are that the final episode was both a product of unfortunate cuts in screen time, and a writer who didn't expect the effect it would have on the audience.

I am not hating on David Jenkins, I loved every other episode of the season and eagerly anticipated the next one, but I am so incredibly sad that one botched finale broke my trust into the show, soured my love for the previous episodes with the knowledge of what it all built up to, and left the fandom back in shambles.

So long, and be kind to each other.

[bougiebutchbitch]

I love your fic recc masterlists. any for our flag?

YES. They all feat. my favourite angry little man getting fucked. I. Uh. Will gather some more T-rated and G-rated ones in time, as I love found-family stuff with the crew. But for now... Have a compilation of Izzy getting railed, as he so badly needs and deserves?

ALL FICS ARE EXPLICIT! BE YE WARNED! check the tags, too - I may have missed a few warnings!

If Not Now by Buukkin

I've reccommended this before, but it truly is THEE modern AU. A gorgeously drawn comic with spot-on characterisation and growth. It will hurt your heart, in the best possible way. Please heed the tag warnings - there's some domestic abuse.

You're An Idiot (do it again) by sweveris

The perfect chaser for That Scene In The Bar. After talking about Ed being "A complicated man," things get equally complicated between Stede and Izzy.

Doldrums series by xylodemon

READ THIS. It's got some of the best writing and characterisation out there! After Ed and Stede get back together, Izzy decides the best option is to leave. He winds up sailing with Jack Rackham. They set out to sea to make something of themselves, separate from the legend of Blackbeard. Only - why the fuck is the Revenge in hot pursuit? (The answer: Ed is incandescently jealous. Steddyhands is the beautiful endgame.)

you take me, untangled, by shatteredhourglass

A/B/O steddyhands. Hot, filthy, and absolutely freaking hilarious. “Oh god,” Izzy says faintly, with slight despair. “I’m going to take Stede fucking Bonnet’s virginity.”

Domestication by SpinelessDragon

I am in love with this Steddyhands A/B/O fic, starring feral Omega Izzy. I have read it an embarrassing number of times. Please go give it some love! Izzy has never had a nice heat in his life, but apparently Stede motherfucking Bonnet has decided to change that.

Good Things (you deserve them too) by IWillBeYourPet

Lucius/Izzy - Lucius decides to prank Izzy by paying a random man to flirt with him, just to see how he reacts. The plan backfires when Izzy is tentatively interested. Suddenly, Lucius can't bear to see this all go wrong - or for Izzy to get hurt.

A Deal with the Devil by Moonlessnite

Aka, how Izzy got Jack to distract Ed. this one's bittersweet and beautiful, and kinda fucked up. I dig it. Calizzy? Calicozzy? Calico Jizzy?

in the presence of touch by hawkeyedkoi

Obviously, the answer to Izzy moping after Ed is for Ed to fuck him once. Just to get it out of his system. It goes as well as you'd expect (i.e., eventual Steddyhands.)

Sharp and Steady by Lizardbitch

Stede figures out just how to dom Izzy. Established Steddyhands deliciousness! Read the sequel for fun fucked up Calico Jack/Ed/Izzy shenanigans~ ;) No, seriously. Read it. Hot damn, that hurt so good.

bet on losing dogs by f0urshame

Ed and Izzy are stuck on the Revenge post-mutiny and desertion, destined to die either at each other's hand, or by the uncaring cruelties of the ocean. Obviously, they fuck about it.

I have a million more reccs because there are sooooo many good fics out there - but these are the ones I'm currently obsessing over! Enjoy!

Feel free to add more Izzy-gets-fucked-to-within-an-inch-of-his-life fics! Or boost your own! I'm always hunting for more.

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

do you have like. a dream modern au for ofmd?

Oh my god, okay.

Disclaimer: the credit for the initial idea goes to my mum. I just built on it.

See this? This is a fragment of the riverside of Wisła, or Vistula if you're being fancy, as seen in Warsaw, Poland. It's been renovated over the years, and now it's bustling with activity throughout the warmer months, filled with restaurants, cafes, bars and beach clubs.

Now, picture this: Blackbeard's Bar & Grill, the trendiest eatery in the entire city. An upscale place, with a menu thought up by Edek, a mad genius. The way he combines his ingredients shouldn't work but it does.

So Ed's bar has been growing in popularity, but frankly? He's over it. And it would've been easy for him to walk out if it wasn't for the fact that the manager for the joint is his boy best friend/soulmate/bitter ex/beloved husband Iz (short for Izydor) and for some reason he doesn't like to think about too hard, Ed just can't bring himself to talk honestly to Iz about what he wants, possibly disappointing him, and the alternatives to their current lifestyle.

Enter Stede. Yes, Stede. He's from abroad, his mother was Polish. He's in the middle of a midlife crisis, and now, having ditched his bitch wife and kids, he decided what better to do now that he's up ended his whole life, than move to his motherland and open a shoddy little cafe at the riverside in Warsaw. Armed with a lot of money and even more enthusiasm, he collects a ragtag crew of employees, and soon Stede's is open for business! And the bar right next to it seems to be very popular...

I love this AU because there's just so much that could be done with it, even tho it's so specific. It could be Steddyhands, because Stede eats something he thinks was made by Ed and he loves it, but it turns out it was one of the rare occasions when Izzy goes inside the bar kitchen and actually cooks something. Cue lots and lots of misunderstandings, fanboy Stede, Ed who can't help falling for this new freak, Stede's appreciation for Iz waking up the long dormant feelings Ed has had for him, Izzy simply not dealing well with the attention and praise, and definitely crew employee shenanigans.

It could be the classic Blackbonnet because maybe Stede's enthusiasm for gastronomy reignites Ed's and they open a brand new restaurant together, or maybe they retire with Stede's inheritance and Ed's bar money.

It could be Gentlehands because Iz's no nonsense attitude is a reality check for Stede, maybe he helps Stede's cafe through a particularly big crisis, and throughout nightly meetings over business plans and sample menus they could find that they actually get along really well, and maybe there's an especially wine-heavy night that ends with both of them ending up in the same bed...

Finally, it could be Edizzy, because Stede's presence and his flourishing business could have Izzy go into panic mode about how they're going to cope if his café gets more popular than the bar&grill. This could prompt the two to finally Talk It Through, finding out that maybe, just maybe, they love each other and at the end of the day what really matters is that they're together. Maybe Ed, with his newfound appreciation of Iz could finally actually tell him how he feels, and then weee #divorcecancelled

Finally, it could be any and all flavours of Izzy x The Crew, because they see Izzy for the first time and immediately get the Wants To Fuck That Old Man disease. And brother? It's terminal.

Hehe :3c

[run-me-through-but-not-like-that]

Hope I’m not bothering you with all my requests but your writing is incredible! (*^^*)♡

Maybe some endgame SteddyHands x Reader where Ed and Stede are together and Izzy and Reader are together and they go on a double date (Stede’s idea) and all have a really good time. But afterwards whenever it’s not all four of them together it feels like someone’s missing. Shenanigans ensue. Ed and Stede probably decide to invite you and izzy on more double dates and Izzy is probably worrying that you are realizing you want better than him and Reader is just confused and concerned.

Maybe eventually Lucius tells them all that “if all of you would rather go on double dates and spend time with all four of you, why don’t you all just dare each other?” And the Ed, Stede, Izzy, and Y/N all realize “ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ how did we not think of that?”

Just All Date Each Other Already!

“Why did you agree to this?” Izzy grumbled as he ran his fingers through his hair, evenly spreading the pomade throughout it. He didn’t even know why he was stressing so much about this, it was ridiculous. 

“Because they were doing that thing where they act like you have a choice but you actually don’t,” you reminded him, fixing the fastenings of your shirt.

“All the more reason to decline,” he continued to complain as he wiped the excess from his hands.

“They’re our captains and our friends, it’s a double date. It won’t kill us,” you rolled your eyes fondly. Really, you wouldn’t think spending a dinner with one of his oldest friends wouldn’t be such a cause of stress for him.

“Barely been on a normal date, nevermind a double date. What even the fuck is that?”

Finishing up with the cuffs of your shirt, you walked up to him. You gently took hold of his waist, turning him to face you before soothingly running your hands up and down his sides. “I have taken you on plenty of dates, thank you very much. A double date is just two couples spending some time together,” you told him, though you were sure he could figure that out. “It’ll be fine, love.” 

You made a bit of a show of flattening his collar and centering the knot of his tie even if it was already pretty perfect. “There you go. You look perfect,” you kissed the tip of his nose playfully just to make his cheeks flush pink. 

“Let’s get this over with.” That was as enthusiastic as Izzy was going to get about this, but you could work with that.

“Iz, sweetie, relax. It’s just dinner. You and Ed can hang out like old times and I’ll make sure Stede isn’t too overbearing,” you assured him, giving his shoulders a little squeeze. 

“Alright,” Izzy sighed before looking you once over. 

You had dressed up a little, throwing on some nicer looking clothes that you own. Nothing fancy, just not the sort of clothes you would scrub the deck wearing. Izzy didn’t have any ‘nice clothes’, but he forwent his vest in an attempt to feel more…approachable. 

“We’ve got this,” you shot him a wink before taking his hand and leading him out of the little cabin you shared. 

At least you didn’t run into any of the other crew members on your way to the captain’s cabin, that would only put Izzy more on edge. Once you reached the door, you gave Izzy’s hand a reassuring and grounding squeeze.“I love you,” Izzy said under his breath, staring at the door. The poor man sounded like he was being led to the gallows. 

“We’re not dying, Iz,” you laughed. “But I love you too,” you gave him a quick kiss, just for a little added confidence, before knocking on the door. 

Stede flung the door open and greeted you both with a bright smile. “Right on time!” he praised, pleased with the timeliness. “Welcome, come on in, make yourselves comfortable.” 

When Stede stepped to the side, you and Izzy walked into the cabin. Edward beamed at you both from a cabinet where he was selecting a bottle of something suitably aged to have over dinner.

“I know you’re going to ask for rum, Iz, but please just give this wine a chance,” Edward spoke up before Izzy could even open his mouth. 

“I’ve had wine before, Edward,” Izzy scoffed. Sure, probably not whatever wine Stede Bonnet collected, but he knew what wine tasted like. 

“But not this wine,” Edward waved a bottle in front of him. 

“I’m sure we’re going to love it,” you smiled, giving Izzy’s hand another small squeeze. 

You herded Izzy over to the dining table. “Sit at any of the placements you like. Roach is particularly proud of this spread,” Stede told you both. 

You and Izzy chose two seats beside each other. You didn’t know if it was customary for partners to sit beside or opposite each other, but you weren’t about to leave Izzy’s side when he was already anxious either way. 

Edward strode over to the table and filled four glasses with red wine, before he took his seat opposite Izzy. Stede was quick to sit by Ed’s side, opposite you.

The four of you filled your plates with Roach’s food, adding certain elements whenever Stede recommended something. 

“So, Izzy,” Stede spoke with an air of casualness, even if his attempt at casual conversation came off as a little awkward. 

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you ate, suspenseful to see how Stede was going to communicate with the first mate. They had been getting along better, not at each other’s throats all the time, but still very rarely interacted one-on-one. At least you and Edward were there to mediate if anything went wrong. 

“How is the crew?” Stede asked. 

Good idea, you thought, talk about something neutral. When you glanced over at Edward to see his reaction, he appeared to be thinking the same thing. 

“Not bad, not going to get themselves killed while we have dinner,” Izzy shrugged, speaking like he wasn’t sure how to converse with the other man. 

“C’mon, Iz. Gotta be more to say than that,” Edward prompted, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“The sword fighting lessons have been going really well, tell them about that, love,” you suggested, smiling in a way to let Izzy know that you had him, that you were here for him. 

“The crew are doing…fine. I suppose they’re not as useless as they once were. Feeny and Pete are taking to swordsmanship fairly well. Frenchie isn’t so good with a sword but his footwork is impressive,” Izzy reported. 

“And the Swede is getting really good with the knots,” you added, sounding proud that Izzy had taught them such things. Proud to have Izzy as your partner. 

“He’s…made little songs to remind him how to tie different knots,” Izzy sighed, his nose scrunching up at the memory of sitting through the Swede explaining each of the songs. 

“It’s sweet.” You couldn’t help but feel a little fond as whenever you passed the strange man singing his little songs and tying his knots.

“It’s ridiculous,” Izzy corrected.

“Well, it sounds rather effective,” Stede grinned, “I’m glad you’re all getting along.”

“Izzy is a good teacher when he wants to be,” Edward told Stede, shooting Izzy a playful wink. 

“When people listen,” Izzy muttered before helping himself to another forkfull. 

“And that is why Jack still doesn’t know which start is which,” Edward agreed, sounding fond and amused. 

“The fucker can barely find Polaris. Would be able to if he listened to anything that wasn’t a crude joke,” Izzy smirked, amusement in his eyes, while Edward laughed.

Stede took a sip of his wine before nervously swirling the liquid around in the glass. “Well, I was wondering, Izzy…if you could give me some lessons with a sword. I’ve improved some but I’m not nearly as good as you or Edward,” Stede asked before quickly adding, “I promise to listen.” 

Izzy eyed him for a moment, like he was trying to figure out if Stede was being serious about lessons, if he was worth the time. Izzy must have decided he was serious, because he agreed. “Suppose I could, yeah.” 

“Told you he’d do it!” Edward placed a hand on Stede’s knee, giving it an excited shake. “And we’ll come and cheer you both on, right?” he looked across to you. 

“Obviously,” you smiled back at him. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you knocked your shoulder against Izzy’s, he rolled his eyes but still smiled to himself. 

After the promise of lessons, the conversation lulled. Falling awkward for a moment, a nervous energy buzzing over the four of you. 

“Oh!” Stede perked up, thinking up a topic for conversation. “You won’t believe the conversation we had with the tailor at the last port…”

Stede’s story about the tailor was…mundane at best, but you felt somewhat fond while listening to him and his passion about how the tailor dared to suggest the mix of certain fabrics. You even caught Izzy listening to the tale, the corner of his mouth quirking up every now and again, likely at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. 

Occasionally Edward would jump in with something along the lines of “can you fucking believe that!” or “it was fucking diabolical!” which was all very entertaining and rather sweet. 

You and Izzy remained in the captain’s cabin long after dinner was finished, which wasn’t the plan but wasn’t unpleasant by any means. Apparently the two of you decided that it would simply be rude to leave without finishing the bottle of wine…and the second one. 

The wine helped the four of you loosen up, tension about the strange situation fading and any nerves long forgotten. Stories flew from each of you, the others listening intently. Jokes were shared and laughter echoed, the company feeling surprisingly easy. 

At the end of the evening, you and Izzy had your arms linked together as you headed for the door.

“This was a wonderful evening!” Stede exclaimed, his voice loud with drink but endearing nonetheless, as he walked you both to the door.  “We’ll have to do it again.” 

‘Course we will, love,” Edward agreed warmly, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

“And we shall see you both tomorrow,” Stede moved with far too much familiarity but you found that you didn’t really mind when he stepped forward and took you by the arms. 

You spluttered a little when he kissed both of your cheeks, still smiling wide as he pulled away, but laughed it off. Izzy’s face was bright red as he received his cheek kisses, and you had to hold back a startled giggle. 

“Alright, mate, come on,” Edward laughed, pulling Stede away.

“Goodnight, darlings!” Stede waved but was already walking over to the dining table. “Edward, come help me clean up!”  

“He doesn’t drink a lot and wine is particularly…effective on him,” Edward explained, nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. 

“It’s fine,” you assured him as you lent into Izzy’s side, feeling him tighten his hold on your arm. 

“Edward!” Stede called from the table, making you laugh. 

“Night, guys,” Edward grinned, glancing over his shoulder to check on Stede, who was stacking plates. 

“Night, Ed,” you smiled and Izzy gave him a nod before the two of you left. 

You and Izzy returned arm in arm to your shared cabin. 

“Tonight was actually kinda fun,” you reflected as you closed the door behind you. 

“Yeah…it actually was,” Izzy agreed, clearly surprised that he shared your sentiment.

But Izzy didn’t have much time to think about that because you were alright in front of him, already working him out of his shirt as you brought him into a sweet kiss.

Back in the captain’s cabin, the two men had tidied the table somewhat before slipping into their comfy bed. 

“Tonight was lovely, Ed,” Steded murmured into Edward’s neck, happily curled up around him. 

“It was fun. I think even Izzy enjoyed himself,” Edward mused fondly, tracing little shapes against’s Stede’s arm. It really had been too long since he and Izzy spent some time together and it was nice to see Izzy happy with somebody who treated him well, you were clearly very good for his friend.

“We really should do it again.” 

“I’d like that,” Edward smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of Stede’s head.

-

Apparently that double dinner date had awoken something between the four of you. Relationships between Izzy and the crew had been improving for a while now and, while he didn’t seek out Stede’s company, he didn’t complain so much about the co-captain’s presence. The new development was that the four of you were putting much more effort into spending time together than you usually would.

Stede had stayed committed to his lessons with Izzy, never missing a lesson and always putting his full effort into it. He really was improving as well. His dedication and improvements were doing the job of gaining Izzy’s respect, and perhaps even some fondness. As the two men sparred back and forth, you and Edward would cheer them on from the sidelines and throw in advice for Stede. Edward would throw an arm around your shoulders when he got over excited, shaking you as he cheered on one of the men.

Edward had been randomly finding you when you were up on the deck, teaching you little tips and tricks about how to predict the weather. You were learning how to read the clouds and pay more attention to the temperature changes, but you knew you would never develop the sixth sense that Edward seemed to possess. Still, you enjoyed those little moments together.

Edward and Izzy would spend some evenings sitting up in the crows nest, just like they used to when they were deckhands on the same ship. Talking in a way they hadn’t in years.

After sharing your routine morning coffee with Izzy, when Izzy had left to round up the rest of the crew, Stede would come and speak with you. Never about anything important, just like he wanted to spend some time in your company, and you didn’t mind in the slightest. 

Spending time together were highlights of your days but nothing quite compared to when all four of you found yourselves together. When the four of you got together for something it just felt like something was clicking into place. 

The four of you were getting along better than ever, finding yourself seeking each other out just for the sake of it. You enjoyed each other’s company, found it easy to be around each other, enjoying learning more about each other, and growing fonder of each other as the days passed.

However, this new closeness had caused a few…crises. 

Stede loves Edward, he had never known love like this, he didn’t even think it existed. Only weeks ago Stede would have easily and proudly exclaimed that Edward was his entire world. And yet, he found himself longing after the company of two others. He loved Edward dearly, every part of him, Edward was more than he could ever ask for. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the time he and Edward spent together but he found that he enjoyed that time as much as he enjoyed his time with you or Izzy, and when he considered it to be the best was when all four of you were together. Everything just felt so…right. Was he truly so greedy and so selfish that he needed to have you and Izzy as well? Oh god, what would Edward think if he knew?

Edward had been beating himself up as well, finding himself curled up in an empty bathtub more often than usual. He loved Stede, had from the very start and never questioned it since. But he loved Izzy too. He and Izzy had such a history and over time the connection they shared had become tangled and twisted into something unrecognisable. But he did love Izzy, had for a long time, just assumed it was a different kind of love to what he shared with Stede. Plus, he was with Stede and Izzy was with you. The two of them were happy and things were finally going well for them both, so why did something feel wrong? Then there was you, he could so easily see what drew Izzy towards you. Your kindness and sincerity, your patience and open adoration for the people you love and care about. Edward had always liked you but spending more time with you had been eye opening. He was Blackbeard, he should be able to have everything he wanted and more, but he couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Stede, of hurting any of you.

Despite the worries of the captains, they didn’t talk about it, but they did decide to invite you and Izzy on more double dates. Dinner and drinks in their cabin, stargazing on the quarterdeck, nature walks when the ship was anchored near land. 

-

For the most recent, totally normal, just between friends, double date, the four of you were in the captain’s cabin again. Stede really loved going ashore and doing something exciting with the three of you but the privacy of the cabin was second best.

The four of you were sitting around the lit fire, the cabin warm and cosy. Edward was lounging on the couch, stretching his bad leg out over Stede’s lap. Izzy was sitting in one of the arm chairs, surprisingly relaxed, while you had made yourself comfortable on the floor between his legs. Sitting on a pillow with your head resting against the inside of his knee. 

You laughed at one of Edward’s stories, turning your face into Izzy’s knee to muffle the sound. 

“Oh! Before I forget, I picked something up for you when we were last at port,” Stede announced excitedly, placing his drink down. 

“Me?” you asked, eyes widening as you lifted your head from Izzy’s knee. 

“Yes, it’s nothing too special. I just saw it and it looked to be your size and I just thought about how well it would suit you!” Edward smiled as he moved his leg, letting Stede stand from the couch. “I’ll go fetch it!” and with that, Stede disappeared into his secret wardrobe.

You looked to Edward for some sort of explanation as Izzy sat up straighter behind you. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t too expensive,” Edward assured you, seeing the slight panic on both of your faces. “I agree with him though, think it will look fantastic on you.”

You couldn’t help but blush a little at the way Edward smiled at you. Admittedly, you could see why people gravitated towards him. 

Behind you, Izzy frowned to himself. Stede was getting you gifts and Edward was complimenting you…something about this felt…wrong to him. 

Stede soon returned with a silky looking white shirt on a hanger, holding it up proudly. “It’s alright if you don’t like it,” Stede quickly backtracked when you just stared at him, looking a little embarrassed.

You stood, Izzy offering you a hand, before approaching Stede. He kept hold of the hanger while you rubbed the material between your fingers. If you accepted the gift, it would definitely be the softest thing you owned.

You just didn’t understand why Stede would buy anything for you. “It’s beautiful, but you really didn’t need to-”

“I know that,” Stede tutted, “I just wanted too.”

“You should try it on,” Edward suggested and Stede nodded in agreement, while Izzy shifted in his seat. 

“Alright,” you nodded and took the shirt . Stede gestured for you to go into the wardrobe for some privacy. 

You disappeared into the closet, taking a quick look at Stede’s variety of clothes and the garments Edward had collected since being with Stede. 

Izzy watched you slip out of the room, a little frown still on his face. “What do you think, Iz?” Edward asked, getting his attention. 

“It’s nice,” Izzy shrugged. It was a nice shirt…

“This is all pretty nice, isn’t it? The four of us hanging out.” It sounded like Edward was trying to get at something, but Izzy wasn’t quite sure what. Izzy glanced at Stede for some sort of insight, but he just looked like he was waiting for some sort of approval.  

“Yeah…suppose it is,” Izzy agreed.

“We picked something up for you, as well,” Edward grinned, stretching out his bad leg before standing from the couch. Izzy watched, silent and confused, as Edward wandered over to the desk, pulling something out of a drawer. “I know you take care of your stuff so your knife is in perfect condition but it’s old and you deserve something new,” Edward brought the new dagger over to where Izzy was sitting.

“I had my eye on something else but Ed said it was more decorative than practical and I know you love practicality,” Stede confessed.

“What do you think, Iz?” Edward asked as he handed over the blade.

Izzy examined the blade, turning it around and testing the weight in his hand. It was a fine blade, thin and sharp. Deadly. The handle fit in his hand like it was made for him. It must have cost a pretty penny.

“It’s…it’s good. Uh…thank you,” Izzy could feel how warm his face had turned as he looked up to Edward.

“You’re welcome, mate,” Edward grinned, pleased with himself.

Thankfully, the attention was taken off of Izzy when you walked back into the room. You were wearing your new shirt, tucked into the waistband of your pants. They had been right, it was perfect on you. It billowed and clung to all the right places, the collar fastened with laces, letting you choose how tight or loose you wanted to tie it. Right now you had it tied loosely, casually. 

“So, what do you think?” you asked, uncomfortable with the silence you were met with. 

“Beautiful!” Stede complimented brightly, instantly blushing at his own praise. You blushed as well at the earnesty. 

“It suits you,” Izzy really meant it but he still felt like he was beat to the chance to make you blush and smile like that. 

“Thanks, love,” you still smiled brighter at his compliment and that helped put him at ease a little.

You returned to your sea between Izzy’s legs, flashing him another smile before making yourself comfortable. The captains poured more drinks and returned to their seats on the couch. Everything went back to normal but Izzy found himself unable to listen to the rest of the conversation.

Izzy had given you things before, but they were practical items. A new knife since yours had been a rusty old thing, a new pair of boots when yours got wrecked. He never got you something so fine just for the sake of it. 

What if that was what you wanted? What if you wanted what the captains could offer, what if you thought they were better for you than him? 

-

Things had definitely been a little…weird. The captains have been particularly friendly lately. Of course, you didn’t mind, you loved spending time with them and the more time you spent together the more you enjoyed it. You just weren’t sure what brought on the change.

Izzy seemed to have been enjoying your little get togethers as well, until recently. He was worrying about something but you couldn’t tell what it was and he wouldn’t tell you. You knew he would when he was ready, so you would just offer him support in the meantime.

You cared for Edward and Stede deeply, more than you originally thought you did, but your priority right now was making sure Izzy was alright.

Things had come to their climax, the tension no longer letting you ignore it. Izzy was avoiding Edward and Stede completely and being distant with you, you just refused to let him push you away completely. Edward was keeping his distance from you and Izzy, sticking extra close to Stede and it was like Stede was going out of his way to ensure nothing he did could be interpreted as anything but platonic.

It was all very strange and you hated it. You hated that something was on Izzy’s mind and he felt like he couldn’t talk to you about it, you hated that two of your closest friends were acting so distant. You wanted to know what was bothering Izzy but he refused to talk about it, you couldn’t ask Edward if he knew anything because he would practically run away from you whenever you tried. 

Something was wrong with each of the men you cared about but you just couldn’t figure it out at all. You wanted to make things right, you just didn’t know how.

-

By midday you felt like banging your head against the mast until something broke. Izzy was being all sulky, Edward weirdly flighty, and Stede uncharacteristically untalkative. 

“Why do you look so sad?” Lucius asked, coming up to your side. 

“Do you ever feel like something is going on with the people around you but you don’t know what and nobody will tell you what it is?” you asked, folding your arms on the ship’s railing. 

“Sometimes, and then we talk about it and solve the problem,” Lucius nodded, obviously with some judgement in his voice.

“Genius,” you muttered. You knew he was right, the four of you should talk about it, but that would be so much easier to do if they would actually talk to you about it! 

“You’re talking about Izzy and the captain’s right?” Lucius asked knowingly. 

“Yep. You noticed how weird they’ve all been acting too?” you knew you couldn’t be the only one who thought something was wrong, you weren’t going crazy.  

“Yes, I’ve noticed you idiots all being idiots,” Lucius rolled his eyes with a certain fondness. 

You groaned, dropping your forehead down to your folded arms. “Rude.”

“If it makes you feel better, you’re not the biggest idiot out of all of them,” he reassured you, patting your back. 

“Thanks, Luce,” you murmured into your arms. “I don’t know what happened. The four of us were getting along so well. It was great, y’know? But now it’s like nobody can stand to talk to each other for too long. I’ve asked Izzy about what’s going on but he always brushes it off like it’s nothing, when something is clearly wrong,” you lifted your head just enough to make sure Lucius could hear you clearly. 

“I think I know what’s going on here,” Lucius sighed, sounding exasperated with you all. 

“What?” you pushed yourself up from the railing and turned to him properly. You just wanted to fix things, and if Lucius had some insight you were willing to hear him out.

“I’m going to help you, mostly because the four of you sulking about it is really killing the mood.” You just rolled your eyes at him, knowing he cared really. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have even asked what was wrong. “But you’ll owe me big time for this, all of you will,” he warned. 

“Yeah, whatever, just please help me out, Lucius,” you didn’t think Lucius would ask much from you for his help. Probably just ask you to cover some chores for him.

“Grab your angry little man and meet me in the captain’s cabin,” he ordered, clearly already having some sort of plan ready.

“When?” you asked, unsure whether prep time would be helpful for Izzy or if it would only give him time to grow more anxious about the whole thing.

“Now. I’ll round up the captains.”

“...you really think this will work?”

“I really do,” Lucius sounded more like he was talking to himself than to you, but you decided to just go along with it.

You thanked him quickly before running off. You had no idea what he was planning but he had a plan and you didn’t, so you might as well give it a shot.

Izzy was definitely reluctant when you told him to follow you to the captain’s cabin, that you wanted to finally talk about whatever has been going on recently. He was even more reluctant when you mentioned that Lucius would also be there, but you didn’t want to surprise him with that. Thankfully, Izzy trusted you enough to know that you wouldn’t allow anything to harm him or put him in an overly uncomfortable situation. So, he let you lead him by the hand to their cabin.

You knocked on the door and Lucius opened it. “Sit down,” he ordered immediately, stepping aside to let you both in.

You just nodded and entered the room, seeing that Edward and Stede were already sitting on the couch, looking a little like scolded children. You and Izzy moved towards the armchairs but were quickly stopped. 

“Nope. On the couch,” Lucius corrected.

“Bit of a tight fit, Luce,” you pointed out, but he probably already knew that. 

“Don’t care. Sit,” Lucius cocked an eyebrow, arms folded over his chest sternly. 

You shared a look with Izzy before joining the captains on the couch. Edward and Izzy were on the outsides, pressed against the arms of the couch, while you and Stede were squeezed between them. 

“Lucius, what is this?” Stede questioned, sounding just as confused as Edward looked. 

“Couples therapy,” Lucius huffed, as if it were obvious. You all just frowned at him. It was not obvious. “The four of you couldn’t be more obvious. You’re all in love with each other,” Lucius never had been a fan of unneeded subtly when it came to this kind of thing, he liked a straight forward response. Even still, that was blunt for him.

Lucius thought it would be best to be blunt and smooth things over afterwards than try to get you four idiots to figure it out by yourselves. He didn’t have all day. 

“Lucius!” Stede eyes widened at the scribe, as if scandalised. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, boy,” Edward scoffed but pointedly wouldn’t look at him. 

“Seriously, this is your idea of helping?” you glared at him. Sure, you had accepted his help, but this wasn’t what you had imagined.

Izzy was surprisingly quiet beside you, just staring down at his lap. You didn’t think that was a good sign. 

“Shut up. The four of you, just listen,” Lucius tutted. “You’ve all been spending a lot of time together, right?” he asked. Figuring that you still weren’t allowed to talk, the four of you nodded. “And you enjoy spending time together?” You all nodded again. “And most of all you enjoy spending time as all four of you?” More nods, although they were more hesitant this time. 

“Then maybe all four of you should just…be together,” Lucius suggested as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.

“Lucius-” you began to interrupt, this was a pretty heavy topic to just drop on everyone.

“Nope, still talking,” Lucius thoroughly chastised you. “Relationships don’t just have to be two people, and that’s perfectly okay,” he reminded the four of you.

When he didn’t speak for a moment, Stede figured he was allowed to talk again. “Lucius, I appreciate this and you know we all have nothing but respect for you and your relationships but…I don’t think that would be something I’m comfortable with.” 

Lucius considered him without judgement before nodding. “You wouldn’t be comfortable with Ed just sleeping with anyone, right?” he asked, still no judgement.

“Of course not!” 

“I wouldn’t fucking do that!” Edward defended himself, clearly offended by the mere suggestion. 

“It wasn’t an accusation,” Lucius reassured him. “So, you aren’t interested in an open relationship like Pete and I have. You need security. That’s fine, that’s not the only option.”

This was his nightmare, Izzy realised as the conversation sounded so far away. Lucius was suggesting that you be with somebody else (even if it was in addition to him). You would see that being with somebody else is better and would leave him behind.

As if sensing his spiralling, you gently took his hand in yours, just holding it as Lucius continued. It helped bring Izzy back into the cabin, into his body.

“The four of you could have a closed relationship. Just the four of you, all of you in a relationship with each other. Exclusivity between the four of you,” Lucius explained, “just like what you're already doing but with less pining.” 

Edward hummed to himself, a little ‘huh’ sound. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t already thought of this, but even if he had, would he have suggested it to Stede? He looked at Stede to see how he was reacting to the idea. Much to his delight, Stede looked interested, hopeful even.

Stede looked at Edward, perhaps to judge his reaction as well, and the two of them shared a silent communication. This was something they both wanted and they knew just by looking at each other. It would be new, especially for Stede, but it could be such a good thing.

Clearly making his decision, Edward broke out into a bright smile. 

“Well, uh, thank you for your…input, Lucius. I think the four of us need to talk about this…alone,” Stede gave him a tight smile, wringing his hands in his lap. 

“Hint taken,” Lucius nodded. “Come find me if you need any help…try to avoid it if necessary,” he escaped from the room promptly, probably to tell Pete everything, closing the door behind him.

“Well, this solves everything!” Edward stood up, clapping his hands together, staring brightly at the three of you. He looked almost proud of himself, as if it had been his idea. “Can’t believe I didn’t think of it first,” he admitted. 

Izzy was looking at him with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open, unable to do anything more. 

“Darling, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Stede stood and pulled Edward to the side, hoping to calm him down a little before he overwhelmed you or Izzy.

As soon as you were offered any sense of privacy, you turned to Izzy. “Are you alright?” Izzy could quite easily become overwhelmed, especially when it came to anything involving feelings, and your first instinct was to check in on him. 

Izzy convinced himself to meet your gaze, you deserved that at least. “Do you want to be with them?” he asked.

“I want to be with you,” you promised him without hesitation, already knowing where his mind was probably going. “I…I do like Ed and Stede, and I know you do too. I’m willing to give this a try if that’s something you want, but I promise you, Iz, I am not leaving you for them. I love you.” You knew that honesty was the only way to talk about this properly, but you wanted to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. You were with him, no matter what he wanted.

“But…what if you end up liking them more?” Izzy’s question just broke your heart, he sounded so small, but at the same time you were so proud of him for allowing himself to be so vulnerable. 

“That’s never going to happen, it’s not possible. Even if I love them, I will always love you just as much, that will never change,” you kept one hand around his, bringing your other hand up to his cheek, hoping to ease the tension between his brows. “I know you love Ed, have for a long time, and I know you’ve been growing fond of Stede. That doesn’t mean you love me any less does it?” you asked and Izzy frantically shook his head. “I’m here no matter what you decide, I love you.” 

Izzy would never understand how you were so good at this, at handling him and reassuring him. “I love you too,” even after all this time, he always said those words with the same devotion as he did the first time. 

You smiled and lent in to give him a chaste kiss, just to make sure he got the point.

To the side of you both, somebody cleared their throat. You pulled away from Izzy, dropping your hand from his cheek, as you both turned to look at the captains. They were watching you both fondly. 

“I, uh…that was a lot. Is everyone…are you alright to speak about this?” Stede asked. He really did feel like he was getting good at the whole ‘communicating thing’.

You looked back at Izzy, letting him decide whether he wanted to talk now or if he needed some time. He nodded and you looked at the captains again. “Yeah, we want to talk about it.” 

Izzy’s hand never once left yours, even when Edward took hold of his other hand, even when Stede pressed kisses to each of your knuckles.

The four of you were up until the early hours of the morning, fueled by coffee and unspoken feelings, talking about feelings new and old. Considering how a relationship between the four of you might look, how the four of you might navigate it.

Stede had suggested a ‘proper courting period’, and then gone on to explain what that might consist of. 

Things would stay mostly the same but the four of you would be courting each other, knowing that the intentions are romantic in nature. You would take things slow, make sure everyone was comfortable and let things progress naturally. You wouldn’t rush or force anything. If it felt right then you knew you were doing the right thing, if it felt wrong the four of you could go back to normal, even if it was a little disappointing. 

The next morning you woke up, still in the captain’s cabin with your beloved partner and two possible partners. Propped up against Izzy’s chest with Edward’s head in your lap and Stede’s head on your shoulder, drooling slightly. 

It was only the first day of whatever this was but you felt good about it, felt good about the way the four of you fit together even in your sleep. You didn’t want to be the one to disturb the three men, so you just cuddled back into Izzy and buried your hand in Edward’s hair.

[ewelinakl]

ewelinakl's fic masterlist

Our Flag Means Death

1. A Pirate Triptych (steddyhands, E, 82k) — When Ed turns into a monster and does some unspeakably cruel things, Izzy and Stede team up to turn him back into his old, gentler self and make him atone for what he's done. — finished ● losing my religion (i'm not my own) [Ed/Izzy, Spanish Jackie/Izzy, E, 9.5k] — The story of Izzy's relationship with Blackbeard, from their first meeting all the way until the birth of the Kraken. Izzy's POV ● it's beginning to get to me (no one knows what this fight's about) [Ed/Stede, pre Stede/Izzy, E, 24.6k] — Stede finds an unlikely ally in his quest to get Ed back. (It's Izzy.) Stede's POV. ● i don't know who i am (but now I know who i'm not) [Ed/Stede, Ed/Izzy, Ed/Stede/Izzy, E, 47.8k] — It's time for Ed to face the Kraken and take accountability for his actions. Ed's POV.

2. Three Men in a Boat (steddyhands, E) — a series for tying up loose ends from the Pirate Triptych and other steddyhands shenanigans. — open ● love is a distant aroma at best (Stede/Izzy, rated E for the conversation subject, 3.4k) — a missing scene to chapter one of i don't know who i am (but now I know who i'm not) ● align my heart, my body, my mind (Ed/Stede/Izzy, E, 46.3k) — a follow-up to the Pirate Triptych, set a few years later. Mary and Doug go on a honeymoon, leaving the kids with Stede and his two not-quite-husbands. ● tell me we'll never get used to it (Ed/Izzy, E, 2.3k) — pre-Pirate Triptych. Ed enjoys pushing Izzy's boundaries. ● we make our choices and take what comes (Ed/Izzy, Ed/Stede, Stede/Izzy, Ed/Stede/Izzy, Sam/Izzy, E) — ongoing — historical fantasy AU. Izzy is a famous assassin hired by the Badmintons to kill Queen Mary. Stede is the Queen's Protector (not because he's good at combat, it's just a shiny title he got because he saved her once) and friend. Edward is an eldritch deity who likes to mess with people and shares his magic with Izzy, helping him kill the Queen. But when Stede gets wrongly accused of regicide, Ed offers his powers to Stede as well, twisting the future until it brings Stede and Izzy together.

3. BBC (bellhands brainrot conglomerate) [Sam Bellamy/Izzy Hands, M to E] — a collection of fics centred around the good ship bellhands. — open ● there's no me without you (Sam Bellamy/Izzy Hands, M, 8k) — Sam makes one more desperate attempt trying to convince Izzy to leave Blackbeard. Will it work this time? Sam's POV. ● a fable from broken things (Sam/Izzy, Ed/Stede, E, 24.8k) — In which the Revenge gets her mast broken in a storm, her captains have no choice but to stop at Hispaniola, run into Sam Bellamy, get invited for tea with him and Izzy, and realise that their relationship is really messy and strained in comparison to their hosts'. And when Izzy Hand's relationship seems healthier than yours, you know you've got some work to do. ● no one is born a hero (Sam/Izzy, E) — ongoing — modern au. Izzy gets dumped after seven years together with Ed and is not handling it well. so what are the chances of him not blowing it when Jackie introduces him to a man who seems to be tailor-made for him? Izzy's POV. ● someone has to leave first (Sam/Izzy, Ed/Izzy, background Ed/Stede, E, 11.1k) — Incubus Sam gets imprisoned by the British. Izzy teams up with Paul to save him. Edward, who's never shaken off the Kraken thing, is not happy about this double loyalty. ● call it courage (Sam/Izzy, E, 1.9k) — Sam asks to be choked during sex. Izzy is both turned on and terrified by the concept. ● leaning towards the sun (Sam/Izzy, E, 1.5k) — A very hard bike seat and a bumpy road leave Izzy embarrassingly hot and bothered. Thankfully, Sam is more than willing to help out with that. ● voici mon cœur (qui ne bat que pour toi) (Sam/Izzy, T, 1.5k) — Sam and Izzy get married. — written for Tying the Knot zine; art by @reinarandraw ● j’ai presque peur, en vérité (Sam/Izzy, E, 2.5k) — Sam and Izzy's wedding night. Follow up to the previous fic. — written for the NSFW tie-in to Tying the Knot zine. ● you had me at 'you fucking twat!' (Sam/Izzy, E) — ongoing — modern AU. You'd think months of arguing with his ex-boyfriend/business partner would teach Izzy not to get romantically involved with people he works with. No such luck, though. He's still dumb as rocks. In his defence — have you seen Sam Bellamy??? — art by @reinarandraw

4. vampire verse (Stede/Izzy, E) — a collection of loosely-connected one-shots. vampire!Izzy/human!Stede, post-season 1. — open ● drink me like a bottle of wine (Stede/Izzy, E, 2.8k) — Stede discovers that Izzy is a vampire and gets turned on by the ideas this gives him. Horny times ensue. ● a little broken, a little new (Stede/Izzy, E, 4.8k) — follow up to drink me like a bottle of wine; idiots in love (struggling to articulate their feelings). ● green yellow, green blue (Stede/Izzy, Sam/Izzy, pre-Sam/Stede/Izzy, E, 9.9k) — Stede and Izzy cross paths with Izzy's first love.

5. forest verse (Stede/Izzy, Ed/Izzy, Ed/Stede, steddyhands, E) — a collection of loosely-connected one-shots. leshy Izzy, leshy Ed, human Stede. inspired by Polish folklore. — open ● the forest is my cradle and it's where i'll die (Stede/Izzy, E, 2.9k) — Stede cuts some trees without making suitable offerings to the forest spirit, and now he has to pay for his crime. (Leshy!Izzy/human!Stede, inspired by Polish folklore.) ● spill your seeds, wait for spring (steddyhands, E, 8.1k) — After Blackbeard's forest is destroyed, he decides to pay a visit to his old friend. their dynamic is not what it used to be. (Leshy!Ed, leshy!Izzy, human!Stede.)

6. birds of a feather (Calico Jack/Charles Vane, steddyhands, E) — everyone lives au, post-season 1, Calico Jack-centric. — finished ● blood in your mouth (i wish it was mine) [Calico Jack/Charles Vane, E, 6.6k] — Jack survives the encounter with Ed and the Navy and starts a new life aboard the Ranger. His new captain turns out to be his kind of a freak. ● all birds must land eventually [Calico Jack/Charles Vane, steddyhands, E, 21.7k] — Stede, Ed, and Izzy accept an invitation to dine with Captain Vane and his quartermaster. What could possibly go wrong?

7. end of an era (Sam/Izzy, Calico Jack/Charles Vane, M-E) — everyone lives, nobody dies; post-season 1. Hornigold and Rogers plan to end piracy in the Caribbean. The pirates are not thrilled. — ongoing ● brave (is just another word for being afraid) [Calico Jack/Charles Vane, E, 29.1k] — Jack has always been a coward. But he'll have to muster all the courage he has left and face his greatest nightmare if he wants to save himself and his friends. ● pitch black, pale blue (Sam Bellamy/Izzy, Ed & Izzy, M, 6.6k) — after the Kraken nearly kills him, Izzy realises it's time to move on. post-s2ep06.

● landscape after cruelty (Hornigold/Izzy, one-sided Calico/Izzy, E, 1.6k) — Hornigold calls Jack to do the hard work for him while he sits back and enjoys the show.

● knives, singing for blood (Hornigold/Izzy, E, 1.8k) — When their navigator fucks up, Hornigold decides to take out his frustration on his favourite toy. Dead dove.

● you can call it anything (but that was love) (past Ed/Izzy, Ed/Stede, Sam/Izzy, M, 3.4k) — Izzy moved on. Ed thought he did.

● relax (we're in this together) [Jim/Izzy, E, 3.7k] — Jim helps Izzy work on his confidence after losing his leg.

● welcome to the new age (Ed/Stede/Izzy, E, 3.5k) — When they started this whole thing a year ago, Israel could only think of one rule for him and Stede — no romance.

● dangerous liaisons (Calico Jack/Charles Vane/Roach, E, 12.4k) — Roach gets a chance to do something about his crush on Jack.

● darkness, rewritten (Ed/Izzy, Ed/Stede/Izzy, T, 3.6k) — Ed & Izzy have a tender little moment together. post-season 2, everybody lives au.

● what holy men really mean when they speak of sin (Calico Jack/Charles Vane, E, 8.6k) — A priest and a sailor meet in a seedy bar in Saint-Malo. companion piece to we make our choices and take what comes

● Longing for Home (It's You) (Stede/Izzy, E, 11.2k) — cowritten with piratejamming — Stede gets invited to Mary and Doug's wedding. He decides to take Izzy as his plus one, even though they aren't together.

● something more (Calico Jack/Charles Vane, M, 3.5k) — a Witcher AU. There's a striga on the loose. Jack plans to write a ballad about the witcher who defeats it.

● two fools on a ship (and a really good coat) [Calico Jack/Charles Vane, T, 2k] — a companion piece to @sweveris' two ships in a gale (and a bit of a flirt); written for the CWW server zine — A storm brings Ed and Jack together. They make up. Sort of.

● abundance of violence (Hornigold/Calico Jack, Calico Jack/Ed, E, 4.8k) — backstory to brave — Jack is Hornigold's favourite toy for torture play. Dead dove, mind the tags.

● a hundred lifetimes, a hundred worlds (Roach/Izzy, T, 3.5k) — Solulmates AU. Roach and Izzy meeting in different lifetimes and worlds.

● home is not where you live, but who cares when you're gone (steddyhands, M, 1.5k) — A raid goes wrong and for a while, everyone thinks Izzy is dead. — written for the Even Keel zine.

The Witcher

1. between the lines (Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Yennefer, M to E) — a series of short fics following the timeline of the novels — unfinished (on hiatus) ● on my knees and out of luck, I look up (Geralt/Jaskier, M, 3.6k) — Geralt rides into a small town in the middle of nowhere and finds Jaskier there. set post Shard of Ice. ● the wolf and the nightingale (Geralt/Jaskier, E, 2.5k) — Geralt discovers that he's not immune to Jaskier's charms and games. set during A Little Sacrifice. ● thief of fire (Geralt/Jaskier, G, 1.8k) — Jaskier writes a ballad and it comes true against all odds. set during Something More. ● verse. chorus. verse. (Geralt/Jaskier, E, 3.3k) — Geralt starts overthinking things because he feels guilty about the incident between Jaskier and Rience. set between The Blood of Elves and The Time of Contempt. ● when the world seems a dungeon (Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Yennefer, E, 3.9k) — Geralt feels guilty about leaving Jaskier for Yen, Jaskier is tired of this nonsense. set during The Time of Contempt.

2. a modern bestiary (Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Yennefer, M, T, E) — a modern au (characterisation based on the novels, not the games or the show) — unfinished (on hiatus) ● of witchers and men (Geralt/Jaskier, M, 5k) — Geralt sees a singer in trouble and simply has to help. Geralt's POV. ● basilisk's gaze (Geralt/Jaskier, T, 6k) — Geralt might not be a streetwise Hercules, but he makes Jaskier feel safe and calm, even when everything goes wrong. Jaskier's POV. ● and the djinni said (Geralt/Yennefer, E, 3k) — He came to her with Jaskier's blessing. Yen's POV.

Dishonored

Children of the Many-Eyed God (Geoff Curnow/Slackjaw, Kirin Jindosh/Alexandria Hypathia, Daud/Thomas, M) — Slackjaw as the long-lost Prince of Tyvia, Geoff as the Prince Consort, Kirin as the Royal Inventor, Alexandria as the Royal Physician, Daud & Thomas as Spymasters, with a hearty side of worldbuilding and a brand new Tyvian god. — unfinished ● The Prince, the Guard, and the Many-Eyed God (Geoff Curnow/Slackjaw, M, 54.7k) — The Old Gods of Tyvia choose strange paths for their children. Slackjaw's path leads from the criminal underworld of Dunwall, into the arms of a Watchman, and to the throne that is rightfully his. ● The Heart of a Dead Thing (Kirin Jindosh/Alexandria Hypatia, M, 59.3k) — He's a refugee, an addict, an Academy dropout, a wayward child of his god. He's a loyal servant to his Prince, Tyvia's future Royal Inventor, the brightest mind of the Empire. He's young, and he's learning and refuses to let other people define him when he cannot yet define himself. (a.k.a. the redemption arc Kirin deserved) ● Sea of Regret, Knife of Redemption (Daud/Thomas, M) — ongoing — Daud and Thomas, the Royal Spymasters of Tyvia and Wei-Ghon, team up with Billie to save Sokolov and solve the mystery of Delilah's escape from the Void. The Many-Eyed Bird might be willing to help, too. (think Dishonored 2, but Daud is the protagonist and Jindosh & Hypatia work against Delilah and her her circle.)

American Gods

● A Little Prayer (The Jinn | Ifrit/Salim, T, >1k) — a fluffy little reunion fic set post-season 1

[our-death-means-flag]

{ Masterlist }

Headcanons:

The Crew:

Hugging the Crew of the Revenge | (gn!pronouns, platonic or romantic, fluff + shenanigans) hugs with every single person on the crew

Fics:

SteddyHands (Ed x Stede x Izzy)

Tuesdays? | Requested | (afab!reader & gn!pronouns, romantic, fluff + a tiny bit of angst, 2,357 words) the boys help reader with period cramps

Edward Teach | Blackbeard

Cherry Flavored Conversations | Requested |  (gn!pronouns, implied romantic but could be platonic, fluff + shenanigans, 2,069 words) reader and Ed have a relaxing time of shore leave

For No Reason at All | Requested | (gn!pronouns, platonic, angst, fluff + comfort, TW: depressive episode, some slight disordered eating (skipping meals),  1,656 words) reader is falling into a depressive cycle and doesn’t want to make it a problem. However, a certain pirate captain is very well aware of how they’re feeling and steps in to help his friend.

Stede Bonnet

Floral Scented Hugs | (gn!pronouns, platonic or romantic, fluff + shenanigans, 1,934 words) reader give stede a hug. he goes all out.

Izzy Hands

Hug = Existential Crisis | (gn!pronouns, romantic, fluff + angst but it’s Izzy is being Izzy, 2,104 words) reader gives Izzy a much needed hug

Will I Ever Get Out of This Town?  | Requested | (masc!pronouns, romantic, angst, fluff + comfort, TW: mentions of past abuse, 4,324 words ) Izzy notices that reader is acting strange when they come into port, a port that’s far too familiar for reader…

For Professional Reasons | Requested | (gn!pronouns, romantic, fluff, slight hurt/comfort, 1,222 words) Izzy helps out reader when they get a migraine.

Bonding Under Duress | Requested | (gn!pronouns, romantic, slight fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, 5,694 words) Izzy and reader hate each other. So after a forced bonding trip goes awry, how will they handle it?

Quiet | Requested | (gn!pronouns, implied romantic but could be platonic, light angst, fluff + comfort, 2,717 words) Izzy knows reader is capable, so when they jump when he yells, he knows something's wrong.

Above the Clouds and the Atmosphere | (gn!pronouns, implied romantic but could be platonic, wing AU, fluff with a smidge of angst (Izzy), 3,777 words) After injuring his wings in a raid, Izzy had accepted the fact that he’d never be able to fly. (No he hasn’t) He’s fine (no he’s not). Then reader shows up and they might just be able to help…

Series:

None yet!

[cheerynoir]

Izzy Apologists and Enjoyers, I have a request!

I've got a craving for a very specific brand of Izzy fic, and I'm looking for some recommendations.

I know we're all a fan of Izzy sticking around and suffering on the Revenge [with or without some eventual Steddyhands and character growth], and his undying devotion of Ed, but I was wondering if anyone knew of any fics that explored his justified anger or bitterness? Like, Ed trying to apologize for...all that...and Izzy having a "I yelled at you, sure, but you MAIMED ME" reaction.

Or fics exploring Izzy just...exiting stage left and growing/healing with a different cast of found family?

Can be any sort of AU or canon-verse, I'm not picky.

[[There's also a spicy idea that I would love to see where E/d and S/tede try and bring Izzy in on their relationship by doing some unhinged shit and instead of working it just scares Izzy off ex. under-negotiated threesome or kink shenanigans and the fallout of that]]

Does any of that sound familiar? Hit me up with your favourites!

Thanks! :)

[irishsparkleparty]

for the 'send me a character' question thingy, lets hear your thoughts on Blackbeard himself, Edward Teach (born on a beach) x

- Favorite thing about them

I love how smart he is! He's a tactical genius, but he just wants to use it to have fun and do shenanigans.

- Least favorite thing about them

nothing he's perfect

- Favorite Line

"dickfuck no it's not"

- brOTP

I really like his dynamic with Lucius and I hope they can reconcile in S2. with many bitchy comments from Lucius and Ed being like "I deserve that"

- OTP

him and Stede of course :)

- nOTP

EdxIzzy and steddyhands make me very uncomfortable

- Random headcanon

I think after Ed and Stede make up and they start living on the ship together, Ed would start collecting miniatures. I think he'd LOVE cute little tiny versions of things, just like Stede's model ship. I think he'd be a big fan of miniature food too and finds it fun to pop them in his mouth.

- Unpopular opinion

I don't particularly like the over-feminization of him. It seems to mostly stem just from the fact that he has long hair

- Song I associate with them

Do Your Worst by The Happy Fits

- Fave pic of them

I'm obsessed with his heart eyes

Send me a character and I'll give you my opinion!!

[hellinglasses]

@blackberrywars​ welcome to holiday shenanigans for polycules and mamas

this one is set in the same universe as izzy and ed are those girls from jennifer’s body and is half the brain-child of @girls-and-honey​ but all you need to know for context is that ed and izzy grew up together in a small town in pennsylvania during the late 90s/early 2000s as next door neighbors and oh!! that steddyhands is established, that’s important too

as turkey day approaches, the boyfriends drive all the way from their shoebox apartment (appendages included) in new york to ed and izzy’s hometown in PA to spend their very first thanksgiving with the mamas hands and teach. this of course escalates to heartwarming moments and contless shenanigans, including: stede not thinking the “bestest fries in the world” are that good, old and new glittery roulettes, jeff the yorkshire terrier, multiple mama bonding, a copious amount of art and food being made into each other, looking back on your childhood memories and realizing your mom was going through it and actively shielding you from that, a healthy dose of living your teenage years as an adult, and, of course, that time ed got mildly, technically, kidnapped by a bunch of highschoolers

another fun part of it is that it’s a double feature!!

anne bonny’s parents want a relationship with her again. they’re learning, and trying to do better. they’re sorry. she hasn’t seen or spoken to them since the christmas dinner she got up from their table and left, and that was several years ago. after months of awkward ocasional phone conversations, they’ve invited her and her partners for thanksgiving in their home in north dakota. what the fuck. this is a story about growing up close to your dad and losing it because of who you became, and what happens after your parents decide to genuinely put in an effort to be better people. featuring: knowing you don’t owe your relatives a relationship with you while still deciding to give them a chance after they took the steps to not suck without forgiving and forgetting, mar read being ready to Protecc they way my cat napoleão gets ready to pounce at the slightest provocation, your parents expecting to relate easier to your boyfriend then to your nonbinary partner but then your boyfriend’s a working class floridian cowboy, the worst documentary on polyamory you’ve ever seen, your parents leaning for the first time people don’t need to get married to have meaningful relationships while marriage discrimination is still bad, the mortifying ordeal of finding out queer people are not a monolithic hivemind, and, of course, your partner softly gluing rainbow stickers from a gas station store all over your other partner’s face because he was very sad he was mistaken for a Straight.

[pukner]

✨masterpost of my works✨

posted to my ao3

[this post is subject to editing in the future]

Since I intend on using Tumblr a bit more now, and because I like neat lists, I thought it'd be prudent do make a little list of what I have out on ao3 right now!

My name's Looth, and I am ENTIRELY at the whims of my hyperfixations. I'm on twitter and pillowfort by the same handles, but I rarely use the latter.

fandoms: Stranger Things, Our Flag Means Death, The Witcher (Netflix) and Good Omens

[list under the cut!]

fanfiction

Good Omens:

A Nanny? In MY Summoning Circle?

A twoshot wherein Warlock Dowling meets his Nanny again, via the very normal uni student past time of trying to summon a demon with a book you found in a dodgy bookshop. Very fluffy, genderqueer Warlock.

[Complete] 2/2, 10.5k

The Witcher (Netflix):

The Viscount

[geraskefer endgame]

A 5+1 that works on the premise that "I'm from Lettenhove" is a sort of codeword in the royal class for children that have fallen out of grace with their court/family? And the higher your rank in Lettenhove, the worse the thing you have done is? Lots of Jaskier shenanigans, aggressive found family and genderfluid Jaskier.

Based on a post by @artistsfuneral.

[WIP] 3/?, 1.3k

build me up, buttercup [rated M]

[geraskefer endgame]

A longfic I've been chipping away at since 2020, dear God. Features Jaskier and Yen being fake married and co-parenting Ciri, Geralt getting adopted, the found family inherent to bards and the city of Oxenfurt, ftm Jaskier and Ciri having a well-deserved identity crisis. Also, ocs galore, gratuitous academia, and also Valdo Marx is immortal and Jaskier's annoying best friend.

Geraskefer endgame. My baby, who I will return to as soon as I am able.

[WIP] 15/?, 64k

Our Flag Means Death:

the inertia series [rated E]

a three-part series following Israel Hands as he attempts to move on from the things keeping him trapped in amber, unable to grow.

[steddyhands endgame]

[Complete] 62.9k

1. love like a dog on a leash

Izzy Hands encounters an old friend in the form of Sam Bellamy, Ed starts a barfight, and Stede learns some backstory.

All of these men are haunted in some way.

1/1, 5.5k

2. open season

Izzy Hands finds himself inexplicably being courted by various pirates to be their first mate. No one has addressed that fact that he isn't looking for a new Captain; he already has two. Steddyhands endgame, features some Jackhands.

A long look at the dynamics between Ed and Izzy, and now Stede, and the older dynamics of Ed, Izzy, Calico Jack Rackham and Sam Bellamy. Actually, it's a look at Izzy himself, and his various traumas and the way he's transitioning from being in a Black Sails type dark genre to this weird muppet land everyone else on this ship seems to live in.

7/7, 44.5k

3. red sky at morning

An epilogue, wherein the boys all contend with the future on the horizon; the good and the bad of it.

1/1, 11.9k

stranger things

[my current hyperfixation send help]

Eddie Munson and the Dreamboy

[steddie]

Wherein Eddie and El traverse the inside of Steve's mind, and encounter various Steves at different points in his life trying to find where he's hidden himself to escape Vecna's final curse.

A 5+1, featuring Steve's Scoops Ahoy flirting, a little baby Steve, and El's hair.

[Complete] 1/1, 8k.

Dustin Henderson and the Lovebirds

[steddie]

Five times Dustin Henderson was subjected to Eddie Munson being gross and sappy and in love with Steve Harrington, and one time Steve didn't even have to be there.

Features Steve being serenaded, Eddie Munson's Roger Rabbit Impression, Steve's Tiny Gym Shorts, and a good old fashioned worm conversation. Also, gay dnd.

[Complete] 1/1, 9.7k

always burning, world keeps turning

a two-part series set in a soft post-apocalyptic Hawkins, where community and family keep everyone going. And Steve and Eddie kiss about it.

[steddie]

[WIP]

1. took you for a working boy

In a post-apocalypse, mildly nightvale-flavoured Hawkins, Steve and Eddie are the only ones who aren't aware they're dating. Steve does not have a gender crisis but does have a lot of difficulty finding the words for it all, Eddie is oblivious but earnest (and running a radio show, Dr. Death Defying or Cecil Palmer style), Steve and Robin are ACTUALLY soulmates, and everyone's doing their best.

I cannot stress how much everyone thinks they're already dating. Featuring genderqueer Steve, disaster gay Eddie, scheming younger teens, and lots of stobin fluff.

[complete] 6/6, 43.8k

2. hometown blues

The sequel to working boy, wherein Gareth, Vickie and Steve's mom encounter how fucking weird Hawkins has got in their absence, and take it with varying degrees of grace.

[WIP] 3/? 17k

off-script

Wherein Steve Harrington has his sexuality all figured out, Eddie's in comically heavy denial, and everything rapidly snowballs from there.

[steddie]

1. off the beaten path

Wherein Steve figures out he's bi before Eddie figures out he's gay, but Eddie STILL manages to fall first.

Features Steve talking himself though discovering his sexuality in approximately five minutes while on the phone with a baffled Jonathan, and him aggressively flirting with the local metalhead. He's also very good at being an unreliable narrator.

It ALSO features said local metalhead (who thinks himself straight) accidentally flagging, calling Steve Harrington princess in a totally straight way, and doing the ttrpg equivalent of doodling your crush's name on a notebook over and over. Also, somehow he's convinced himself he just hates Steve.

This won't end badly for anyone, I'm sure.

[Complete] 6/6, 34.2k

2. no boys allowed

Robin Buckley has her very first Girls' Day. She gets her hair braided, consoles her heartbroken best friend, and everyone muddies the water a bit on the exact definition of what a Girl is.

Steve Harrington has a good cry about Eddie Munson.

[Complete] 1/1, 7.5k

3. here be dragons

Eddie Munson has kissed a boy, and now he has to handle the fallout. He's got to grapple with the fact that he likes boys, likes a boy, and the harrowing fact that he may have inadvertently broken said boy's heart.

Or, a rapidly snowballing fic that's become a series of character studies by accident. Features Mike Wheeler kicking Eddie's ass into gear, ruminations on being a fashion-assigned dom, Steve Harrington's Various Abandonment Issues, and a surprise Tommy Hagan.

[WIP] 6/?, 38.9k

original works:

court of law

A mildly unhinged second person pov piece about a person going to college and finding that he's trapped in a bizarre dreamscape with no memories. And a new body. He accidentally steals a cute boy's name.

Lots of shenanigans, lots of gender and bad jokes.

[WIP] 6/?, 13k

[izzyspussy]

Stizzy ask (pre steddyhands I guess?)

Idk if this is for you my guy but I've had this rattling around my brain for the last few days and uhhhhh

A sex pollen/fuck or die scenario where Izzy is the only one affected.

The crew know how it has to be handled. Only one way. The captains decide the responsibility falls to them, they won't let any of the crew handle it.

Ed, with his history with Izzy, says he'll do it

Izzy, still coherent enough to have a say, refuses to let Ed "sacrifice himself" and would rather die than let Ed near him, no matter how much he'd want that in any other circumstance

... so Stede steps up

... Izzy doesn't say no

oh dw anon sex pollen is very much For Me

anyway, yeah. i imagine it's probably just a really strong or a botched movie-magic kind of aphro and not actually a fuck-or-die situation, HOWEVER, it is genre shenanigans innit (the genre in this case being porn lmfaooo) so izzy has no frame of reference for it whatsoever and reluctantly believes the supposedly more genre savvy (superstitious) characters when they say he'll literally keel over if he doesn't Get It.

i think it's a combo of ed and izzy who decide none of the crew can do it. izzy doesn't trust any of them enough to let them at him in the first place, and additionally he's absolutely certain they'll hold it over his head forever. ed is just possessive and trying to pretend he's not by using the "captains' responsibility" excuse (though izzy does feel protected by the fact that ed apparently won't stand for dubcon with a crew member, the sexual politics between them are hwjhwlkjas how you say...? wack lmao).

but! izzy doesn't want ed either. the "sacrifice" idea you put forward doesn't really make sense to me except maybe as an excuse. izzy doesn't want ed because he's in love with him and fucking him for exclusively practical life-saving reasons will break his heart. but of course he would never in a million years admit that out loud, and he has to give some reason, so not wanting ed to be dubconned by the situation is what gets said.

so then stede is the only option. and izzy also doesn't want stede just because he doesn't want to owe him, and he figures stede really is taking one for the team (read: for ed) here. but he trusts stede to be kind without belittlement during the act itself, to not meet however izzy reacts to things in his altered state with judgement, to not insult his body, to not tease him later unless duly provoked.

and... he's. attracted. to stede. maybe. maybe. has started to respect him, even. he doesn't have a crush, certainly not, obviously no one on earth can compete with ed that's utterly preposterous izzy will never have feelings for anyone else ever ever ever. obviously. but, y'know. stede is pretty, and he can be properly ruthless when he wants to be, and there's just something about having his attention...

so. yeah. this is. actually quite a few steps above tolerable. not that izzy would ever in a million years admit that out loud. he just. doesn't say no.

[tizzyizzy]

Im thinking about how the crew ids the culture of emotional openess and talking through your feelings and being allowed to feel them, and also being allowed to form bonds with other crew members that isn't superficial or built on like. A pirate persona they're meant to project??? Like. The culture Stede says he wants to impart on them even though he doesn't know how to do any of these things either? They think it's good! They like the benefits of storytime, good food, steady pay, and being on the crew!

They're also fully aware on ep1, having known Stede maybe a couple months, that this is not going to last because it's fully dependent on Stede being rich. If he loses access to his money or leaves them they're fucked. They also miss actually being pirates, bc violence is also not an evil thing in the show, but they're putting off the mutiny as long as possible because they want to keep having these nice things. Ideally they'd get to both be pirates and keep learning how to have healty relationships, but they'll take what they can get, specially since a good chunk of them has to be aware they're not very good at piracy either.

I think this is the root of how much Im into Steddyhands honestly? That there's this push and pull on practical survival vs freedom to form bonds and be yourself and both Izzy and Stede have things to learn about their oppossing side and their own, with Ed also having to learn to balance bc he already wants both sides but he has a hard time not going to either extreme... like I like other things about the ship but getting to play with that is a big factor

Word of that one old dude they met on the island on episode 2 was that Stede would get them all killed, and I think with all the romance shenanigans it is easy to forget that.

They have less pressure to be scary, aggressive pirates because, as you say, they don't need to be scary, aggressive pirates. They're being paid to be safe and comfortable. They're taking up piracy to survive, not to fulfill a lifelong need to go to sea.

I've been slowly converting more and more to Steddyhands (before I wanted Izzy to be swept up into the arms of a nice new daddy character and leave those two behind). I absolutely agree about the push and pull between their opposite ideologies. In fact, I'm hoping this is where season 2 is going. In season 1, we get to see the benefits of Stede's way of doing things. His crew is loyal despite his failings. He's kind. But nowe he has none of his previous resources, and is going to have to learn what it means to be a pirate because it's what you need to do to survive.

It really makes me want to have a plot with Izzy and Stede working together! And as you say, having Ed learn to have a balance between the murderpirate Izzy side and the gentlepirate Stede side.

Shit, now I want it to be canon. Izzy and Stede hate each other so much! How am I supposed to not ship them?

Also, my new theory for how the series might end would be them all learning how to do piracy purely through fuckeries, without anyone dying...

[gonzo-rella]

To-Do List of Requests

One-shot, Romantic: Pat Butcher

The mutual pining story.

Requested by: @night-sky-full-of-stars​

One-shot, Romantic: Dr Cox

Overly optimistic!reader

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Annie Edison

Fem!reader spends night over at Troy, Abed and Annie’s apartment.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Britta Perry

Britta helps the reader with an assignment because she has a crush on them.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Britta Perry

Britta is feeling like a failure and the reader comforts her, but this leads to the reader inadvertently confessing their feelings for her.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Troy Barnes

Gn!reader tries to get Troy to back down from the pillow fight in an attempt to save Troy and Abed’s friendship.

Requested by: Anon

Headcanons, Platonic: The Study Group

The reader, a freshman, joins the Study Group, who have just entered their junior year.

Requested by: Anon

Headcanons, Romantic: Troy Barnes

Dating Troy Barnes.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Thomas Thorne

The reader, who can’t see ghosts, moves into Button House, and Thomas falls in love with them. The reader ends up dying and Thomas helps them adjust.

Requested by: 🌵 Anon 

One-shot, Romantic: Sam Obisanya

Sam tries to gather the courage to ask out Will’s friend.

Requested by: Anon

Headcanons, Romantic: Trobedison

General Trobedison headcanons.

Requested by:  @coiseachd-nighean-marbh​

Headcanons or Ficlet or One-shot, Romantic: Cameron Frye

Reader and Cameron’s first date

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Nicholas Angel

The reader and Nicholas are working overtime at the police station, and Nicholas confesses his love for them.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Jeff Winger

Jeff with a fem!ace!reader.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Jeff Winger

Jeff with an AFAB!nb!reader

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Rebecca Welton

Rebecca x fem!reader

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Edwina Sharma

Edwina x Bridgerton!reader

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Jamie Tartt

The reader comforts Jamie after he has a fight with his dad.

Requested by: Anon​

TBD, Romantic: Steddyhands

Reader who is loyal to Stede. Pre-poly -> poly

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Jim Jimenez

General shenanigans.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Izzy Hands

Sword fighting, tension, confession.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Kat Stratford

Best friends, argument.

Requested by: Anon

TBD, Unspecified: Colin Robinson

Colin trying not to drain the reader because they’re the first person to actually care about him.

Requested by: Anon

TBD, Romantic (probably): Nandor the Relentless

Bad anxiety (mood lol).

Requested by: Anon

TBD, QPR: Guillermo de la Cruz

Guillermo + enby!reader - QPR.

Requested by: Anon

TBD, Romantic: Nadja of Antipaxos

Angst.

Requested by: 🌙 Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Annie Edison

Enemies to lovers + pillows and blanket war.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Guillermo de la Cruz

Possibly Hanahaki, definitely hurt/comfort.

Requested by: Anon

TBD, Platonic/familial: Rodrick Heffley

Sibling!reader gets into a fight.

Requested by: Anon

TBD, Romantic: The Djinn

Literally anything will do.

Requested by: @mask-knife-is-heimdalls-wife

One-shot, Romantic: Izzy Hands

Disabled!reader with crutch. See ask for more detail.

Requested by: Anon

Headcanons, Romantic: Rodrick Heffley

Short trans bf.

Requested by: Anon

Headcanons, Romantic: The Captain

Affectionate!reader.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Platonic: The OFMD crew

https://gonzo-rella.tumblr.com/post/705733600950288384/hello-3-i-could-spend-actual-hours-reading-your

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Izzy Hands

Eating.

Requested by: Anon

Alphabet, Romantic: Dani Rojas

Fluff.

Requested by: @mingihandholder 

One-shot, Romantic: Rebecca Welton

Physio-therapist, argument.

Requested by: @wosoobsessed 

Headcanons, Romantic: Abed Nadir

Trans ftm reader.

Requested by: Anon

Alphabet, Romantic: Colin Hughes

Fluff.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Jamie Tartt

Forced proximity, enemies-to-lovers.

Requested by: Anon

Whatever, Platonic: Roy Kent

Whatever.

Requested by: Anon

Headcanons, Romantic: Jamie Tartt

Plus size reader.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Lottie Matthews

Trans reader (FTM), dysphoria.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Cameron Frye

Reader has fight with parents; Cameron picks them up and tries to cheer them up.

Requested by: @rynsfandomsfun

Ficlet/one-shot, Platonic or Romantic: Blackbeard/Edward Teach

SH fic.

Requested by: @vampirlovr

Headcanons, Romantic: Jeanie Bueller

Dating hcs.

Requested by: Anon

Headcanons, Romantic: Yasper Lennov

Dating hcs.

Requested by: Anon

One-shot, Romantic: Jamie Tartt

Male!reader, worry about backlash over relationship.

Requested by: @laurens0

One-shot, Romantic: Ray Stantz

Ray trains male!reader, who is a new Ghostbuster.

Requested by: @bonesawcowboy

One-shot, Unsure: Carol Peletier

Carol cuts reader’s hair

Requested by: Anon

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

I agree with all your takes on omfd season 2... wasn't all that a laugh and a half :/ do you have any thoughts on a prospective (?) season 3?

Oh yeah lmao, the writers were definitely having a laff, unlike me 😭😭😭

When it comes to season 3:

• I can't imagine or accept a situation in which Izzy is not there in the flesh. Not after a season that specifically introduced the concept of magic and the gravy basket. I don't want him to be a ghost or a vision of guilt-ridden characters. I want my boy back, in the flesh, to pester everyone around him and to finally have his hot girl summer ‼️‼️‼️

• as much as even after the first 3 eps of s2 I could potentially see Steddyhands happening, all of that kinda went to shit in my eyes after they killed Izzy off.

• After everything that happened I can't and don't want to imagine Ed and Izzy reconciling enough to get involved with each other romantically.

• I can see Izzy with Stede tho. I'd actually like that quite a lot.

• at this point I'm not a Blackbonnet girlie (gn) by any stretch, and well, I can't imagine myself enjoying a potential season 3 if all it has to offer will be more drama between those two

• knowing them both, I think they will be making genuine attempts at running an inn for half an episode. And I'm being generous

• also, I can't imagine a season 3 that has Zheng just. Hanging out on the Revenge. Making out with Oluwande. And not even attempting to rebuild her pirate empire. I need my girl cunning and powerful with a fleet to show for it. I think that what they did to her by the end of the season was a shit writing decision. Was her losing her entire fleet... Supposed to humble her? To teach her a lesson? What lesson? That it's not things but people that really matter? It's kind of a weak message, especially for this character. And the execution of it was just. Plain bad lmao. Her talk with Auntie by the end was cute, yes, but it came so out of the blue tbh. If it has been established earlier on that maybe Zheng feels insecure sometimes and would like for Auntie specifically to tell her she's proud of her, that would make more sense. But this way it was kinda. It didn't have the punch it should've had.

• also sidenote: Zheng deciding to team up with Stede (even if it was mostly because Ed was also there) doesn't reflect well on him... It reflects badly on her. My girl deserves allies as powerful as her and Stede is simply not that.

• I want more crew shenanigans. And more backstory for every crew member!!!

• I can imagine a version of the story in which Stede and Ed break up and just don't get back together again by the end. It's so beautiful here. Hold my hand

• also sidenote, but has Jim just completely given up on taking their revenge on the Siete Gallos? I think it would've been fun to revisit that storyline

• also - WHAT HAPPENED TO JIM'S BROTHER

• honestly - after the shitshow that was season 2, I can't think of an actual potential way that the story could end. And tbh I don't think the writers do, either. I do have ideas, but they're mine and not the writers' of the show, and thus not very likely to actually happen.