#stan: i'm so sorry kid but... i'm not

[megamindsupremacy]

i know you have stan figure out ford is his estranged twin whom he lost memories of but the ‘just doesn’t realise he has a twin despite working to open the portal’ angle is so funny to me . alternate au path 🙏

guy doesnt call home or anything for thirty years, never meets the twins at birth & their parents are still like… messy divorce or super estranged great uncle who wont answer our calls. … great uncle it is. divorce leads children to the worst places.. (gravity falls)

dipper: are you even our grunkle?!?

stan, ‘knowing’ full well he just stole someone else’s identity that is probably their ‘actual grunkle’: well. you see.

. also him looking @ the twins being twins & going why do i have such deep-seated sadness & anger at this fact. at the very concept of twin siblings… WELL! guess i will never know!

oh okay okay wait what if. parent's are like "messy divorce or living with their grandpa for a summer" but shermie is like. hey wow i'm so sorry but actually i [insert reasonable and inflexible excuse here] so I cannot take care of the kids for the summer. however i have this brother he's a scientist and has an insane amount of PhDs and he lives in this lovely little town in Oregon and I'm sure he would love to host the kids for the summer 🥰 (this is shermie's master plan to get Stan to actually fucking talk to the family again it's been so long man cmon). And pines parents are like Okay We Trust You Let's Go Ship Our Children Off To Oregon and bada bing bada boom Stan has two kids now

even funnier is if shermie is just as insane as his brothers even though he doesn't act like it so he just. didn't tell stan the twins were coming. he assures the parents that he's been in contact w stan this whole time and has worked everything out but no he's just going to let stan get some surprise grand-niblings for the summer.

also. stan, looking at dipper and mabel's deep Twin Bond: this creates no strong emotions in me and I don't have any particular feelings about the concept of being a twin. anyways back to this portal i've been frantically trying to repair for three decades for some deep-seated-yet-unknown reason. surely these things have no relation!

[thefallenangel2008]

Now LISTEN. While I love Fiddlestan fanart where they're cute and happy and gay, and I love fan-girling over them, personally, the only way I can intercept them is from these lyrics: "n- not in love, baby it's just lust~"

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[sk-yay-sk]

I remember seeing someone say that Stan(ley) broke the cycle of abuse and i was so fucking confused. Like, are we talking about the same character? The same show even??

Like don't get me wrong i like stan he's a good character, all that, but i feel like sometimes i'm the only one who remembers him literally hitting dipper?? On multiple occasions???

Stan is not a good uncle, he's not a good guardian, it doesn't matter that he does actually care for dipper or that his horrible treatment of him is explained in 'dreamscapers', none of that justifies his shitty actions.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Thinking about how much Wendy loves the younger twins and how much they love her in return, and how much I love writing that in Triangulum 🥺

[razzle-zazzle]

mm thinks about bad end craig. thinks about how being possessed for five+ (for a decade or more) feeds into a sense of helpless defeatism. thinks about how he gets ever more numb to it all, to every awful thing cavisuwa does with his hands his lightning his body and thinks about all the ways craig still cares despite that. humans are nothing but fodder to cavisuwa, little more than attendants and food for giant guinea pigs. craig sees people die every day and really, why should he care? he's not the one doing this, and it's nothing special anymore. his family is dead. jimmy was a damn good double agent until bebe sniffed out his real loyalties and now—but it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter and craig doesn't care he doesn't he doesn't (blood on his hands). his family is dead. he doesn't know where tweek is (but he has to be alive somewhere, he's always been tougher than anyone gives him credit for, if he could survive cavisuwa's attempted murder when they were 11 then he can survive a world overrun by giant omnivorous guinea pigs—), clyde is right there but it's not really clyde, not anymore, not after so many years with his whole nervous system under cavisuwa's control—and why does craig care anyway? clyde was always loud and annoying (but he doesn't deserve this, nobody does, not even cartman and butters deserved having their whole personalities rewritten just like that no matter how badly they sucked—) and cavisuwa only keeps clyde around to hurt craig, which is stupid anyway because craig doesn't care (there's nothing more cavisuwa can take from him and they both know this—) and it doesn't hurt him, it didn't hurt to have his own body taken from him and it didn't hurt to watch jimmy fry alive and it doesn't hurt when cavisuwa complains about how much humans just suck, oh they're so awful, and craig finds himself agreeing ever so slightly (there were so few people he'd have ever admitted to tolerating before all this) and it chafes that him and that rat bastard could ever agree on anything—

but it doesn't matter. because craig doesn't give a single fuck. he doesn't care. he doesn't.

(it does hurt. craig does care. but he's never gonna do anything about it, because he's a dick who doesn't care, never cared, and never will.)

(it hurts.)

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

not stealing ur man but he has some of the finest hands here livestreaming fr LOL

Mille MILLE listen. His hands are so pretty and hot oh my god. They're one of my favourite parts of him. Like:

[carewyncromwell]

[HPHM] Tristan Cromwell Playlist

Tristan Cromwell is the youngest member of the Cromwell Clan, and therefore the youngest of Carewyn Cromwell's cousins. Despite this, being the only son of Carewyn's uncle, Blaise Cromwell, who took over leadership of the Clan after Charles's imprisonment and death, Tristan is also intended to inherit the role of Clan patriarch from Blaise once he becomes an adult. This is complicated, however, by Blaise's suffocating, controlling, abusive parenting, which results in Tristan being dreadfully sheltered, eccentric, entitled, condescending, and lacking in both social skills and basic politeness. Fortunately Tristan isn't completely hopeless. When Carewyn first meets him, it becomes clear to her that for all his faults, Tristan is an incredibly creative, yet lonely person who is desperate for love and approval. And because Blaise has always been the most important person in his life, Tristan longs to make his father proud and take care of him and the rest of his family the way he's expected to. This includes mending the rift between the Clan and Lane, Jacob and Carewyn. Somewhere along the line, Tristan internalized a lesson about love that Blaise never did, which was that love at its core is selfless and longs to make others happy instead of just yourself -- and so Tristan wants his family reunited not out of possessiveness like Blaise, but out of a strong sense of duty to and caring for his loved ones. Tristan's focus on the feelings of others may be linked to his strong interest in both creature and animal anatomy, which eventually earns him an internship with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures and (later) helps him pursue a career as a Healer specializing in the care of magical creatures. Like all other Cromwells as well, Tristan has a deep love and passion for music. Unlike the others, though, Tristan's musical talent isn't best expressed vocally, but at the piano, which he mastered over the course of many long, lonely years trapped inside the Cromwell Manor with no one his age for company.

"This is Halloween (cover)" by Marilyn Manson

"Victor's Piano Solo" from Corpse Bride

"There's a Good Reason the Tables are Numbered Honey" by Panic! at the Disco

"Paint It Black" by the Rolling Stones

"Waiting on a Miracle (cover)" by Scott Shattuck

"Learn to be Lonely" by Minnie Driver

"Misfit" by Curiosity Killed the Cat

"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day

"Shatter Me" by Lindsey Stirling ft. Lzzy Hale

"Because of You (cover)" by Stephen Scaccia

"Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance

[bunnybunstrawbieee]

Is it real..or is it fake-

i had a dream or a memory that I could have swore I saw a Chibi Usagi plushie (or Moffy plushie) they were a lot in Gaisano Mall CDO, probably a long time ago, I was around 15 idk isnzusbs oh god I say things like "It's so childish and dumb, where's the edgy stuff!" Then I threw it on the ground but I also remember that I bring it back up and say I'm sorry- and I kept staring at it ornxidnd

and it looked like...this?

im having a Mandela effect- oh no.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

well I'll be. there is Obito trash talk happening on my FE dash. -holds hand over heart and makes the most disgusted, offended Lorenz sound, you probably know the sound-

[thelovelybitten]

lol first songfic i'm posting on AO3 and on Tumblr this shit is SO EMBARRASSING AND MAKES ME NERVY but oh well, take some stendy bc there's not enough of it. will continue if it sparkles w all the readers <3 this fucking couple is CONSUMING ME I LOVE IT HERE

aka: i like writing but i'm too shy to share it so i'm forcing myself to.

[satan-is-obsessed]

I'm alive and might be getting back to....

[ujunxverse]

i said no more kpop gotcha i lied i'm a zerose now

[senipsenipsenip]

Eventually, the scrapbook ended. The sun had fallen beneath the horizon hours ago, and some nagging part of Stan's brain was telling him kids shouldn't be up this late. Unless they're breaking into a mini golf course. He jerked his head back, furrowing his brow. That was...oddly specific.

"Grunkle Stan?" a little voice - Mabel - questioned. He looked down at his knee to see where his great-niece was sitting, eyeing him with no small degree of concern. "Are you okay?"

He ruffled her hair. "'Course, Pumpkin. Just trying to shake some of those memories back in the right place, huh?" He gave an exaggerated shake of his head, smacking the side like he was trying to get water out his ears. "Got a straggler! Hup! There we go," he grinned, lowering his hand. "Good as new!"

Whatever he said must have been the right thing, because Mabel's eyes had lit up like he'd told her he was turning the Mystery Shack into a cotton candy emporium and Dipper had a sudden death grip on his other leg.

"Geez kid, you're clawing through my pants here," he grumbled, making no move to take away his nephew's hand. "Haven't you chewed your nails off by now? How're they so sharp?"

"You called me Pumpkin," Mabel whispered.

"You remembered I chew my nails," Dipper said in awe. Then he frowned. "Hey, how come Mabel gets a nice one and I get a gross one."

Stan shrugged. "'Cause she's nice, and you're gross."

"Ha! Zoom!" Mabel pumped a fist in the air before collapsing back into Stan's lap in a fit of giggles. Dipper rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he settled back against Stan's other side. Ford stayed perched on the arm of the chair, smiling fondly, but eyebrows still drawn together.

"What's the matter, Sixer?" Stan frowned as Ford grimaced at the nickname. "What?"

Ford waved off Stan's concern. "It's nothing. It's..." Ford sighed. "I'm sorry. It's not nothing. I just don't want to..." He pursed his lips.

"Don't leave us hanging." There was a shake in Stan's voice, and Mabel shifted closer to her Grunkle.

"I'm glad this has been helpful to you," Ford muttered. "But...you don't remember everything. Not really."

"Whaddya mean?" Stan asked. "I remember you, the kids, Soos. The freeloading jerk who steals my sandwiches." Stan glared at Waddles who simply oinked and started trying to eat his shoelace. Whatever. Free pass for jump starting his memories. He better not get used to it.

Dipper sat up. "Yeah, what do you mean, Great Uncle Ford?"

Ford frowned. "I just... Hm." He seemed to be weighing something in his mind before turning to Stan with some resolve.

"Stanley," he began slowly. "I hope you appreciate what I'm about to do for you."

"That's not terrifyingly ominous," Stan muttered, glancing around at the available exits.

"Do you remember my - " Ford cleared his throat. "My first kiss?"

Stan froze. "What?"

"My first kiss, do you remember it?"

"I was there?"

"Yes. Unfortunately a lot of people were."

Mabel squealed beside Stan. "Ooo! Romance memories! How old were you? Was it high school? Was it a high school romance? Was it star-crossed love between the nerd and the cheerleader?"

"Mabel, I think Grunkle Stan is supposed to figure that stuff out."

Mabel sat up and stared at Stan expectantly. "Come on Grunkle Stan! I need details!"

Stan shook his head, nose wrinkling like he'd smelled something rotting. "How should I know? Who asks their brother that sort of thing?"

"Precisely." Ford spoke with the same air of professionalism he adopted when explaining his theories, despite the alarming shade of red his face was becoming. "So far it seems that your memories are returning based on external stimuli, whether that be Mabel's scrapbook or our own prompting."

"So, wait, you're saying I won't get all my memories back?"

"No! No that's not what I'm saying," Ford held up his hands. "What I'm saying is we can't expect them all to come back at once. And at the risk of turning the Shack into the set of the Johnny Carson show, we'll keep asking you questions."

Stan frowned. "What if I don't wanna remember my brother smooching some babe?"

Ford turned redder. "You do."

"I do? Geez, I was a perv."

"In the meantime," Ford pressed. "It's important to take note of any stimulus you experience that makes you remember something. Even if it doesn't paint the whole picture for you, we can fill in the blanks. Or prompt you to remember more details."

Dipper grinned. "And then we get to learn more about the secrets you've been hiding, old man."

Stan lifted his hand to give Dipper a well-earned noogie, but paused before he could make contact. "Old man...did you...did you tell me to shut up one time and then punched me?"

Dipper balked. "What? No I - "

"YEAH no WAY that'd be CRAZY!" Mabel interjected a bit too loudly. "Anyway let's get back to that kissing story, huh?"

"Actually Mabel, I don't know if I want to hear about Great Uncle Ford kissing anybody either."

"Oh come on, Dipper. Are you jealous that The Author got someone to kiss him and you didn't?"

"What? No!"

"Some girls like nerds."

"Mabel I don't want to think about anybody in this room kissing anybody."

"You could learn from him Dipper! Figure out how to wield your nerdish charms. Soon you'll be like a kissing machine!"

"MABEL -"

The twins were silenced by a sudden gasp from Stan. His eyes were wide and unfocused, his jaw hanging open as if someone had knocked the wind out of him.

"Holy - " he choked out softly.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper sat up fully. "Are you okay?"

Stan didn't acknowledge him, eyes darting around minutely.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked softly. "Did you remember something?" Moisture had begun to gather in the corners of Stan's eyes, one of his hands covering his mouth as he began to shake.

"Great Uncle Ford?" Dipper turned to Ford, worry stitching his brows together. But Ford didn't look worried. If anything, he looked like he wanted to disappear through the floor. His face was an alarming shade of red, nearly identical to his sweater. Stan let out another choked sound.

"Are you..." Mabel trailed off. "Grunkle Stan are you laughing?" He was quaking now, his hand falling from his mouth to reveal a wide, open-mouthed smile. He began slapping the arm rest with his free hand, eyes squeezed shut and tears rolling down his cheeks. Dipper and Mabel shared a look. Sure, they'd seen Stan laugh before, but it was usually a loud guffawing thing. They'd never seen him like this. They shared a tentative smile. Either this was the hardest they'd seen him laugh, or he had really snapped.

Ford seemed to pick up on their worry. "He's fine," Ford offered. "He's just...remembering my first kiss." At Ford's words, Stan let out a loud cackle, burying his face in his hands.

Mabel cocked her head. "But what's so funny about -"

"You children must be exhausted," Ford blurted out, standing abruptly. "Come now, go wash up then head to bed!"

"Oh no you don't!" Stan shouted. He wiped tears from his eyes, still smiling. "You're not getting out of this one, pal!"

"Stanley, this conversation is hardly appropriate for children -"

"You brought it up!"

"And now I'm putting a stop to it."

Stan grabbed his head. "Ooooo ow," he gave an exaggerated groan. "My poor head. The mean man won't let me share my memories so they're all going away!"

"Stanley, please don't joke about that."

"I'm fading away - "

"Stanley."

Stan crossed his arms. "You know, you really know how to take the fun out of amnesia."

"Yeah! Come on Grunkle Ford," Mabel pouted. "You can't just leave us hanging!"

"Yeah!" Dipper joined in. "If it's a funny story I want to hear it."

Ford spluttered, pulling at the sleeves of his sweater and looking around for an exit.

"Come on, Sixer," Stan chimed in. His eyes had gone soft around the edges. "I think the kids deserve a funny story."

After today went unspoken. Ford met Stanley's gaze, already feeling his resolve melting before he even turned to his grand-niece and nephew's inquisitive smiles.

"Alright," Ford conceded. "But to maintain the integrity of the exercise, Stanley will be the one to tell it. Whatever he doesn't remember, I can fill in."

Stan rubbed his hands together. "Oh boy, this'll be good."

"I regret this already."

"It's alright Great Uncle Ford," Dipper patted his shoulder. "We have a whole summer's worth of stuff we get to make fun of Grunkle Stan for. This just gives us stuff to use against you now. Levels the playing field."

Ford frowned. "Is that meant to be comforting?"

Dipper shrugged.

"Alright you two, enough yapping." Stan grinned, leaning forward in his seat and spreading his hands out in front of him. It was the same way he started his campfire tales. Mabel and Dipper met each other's eyes and smiled.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl named Kiss-Bot..."

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Did kook Ford ever meet the twins. Sorry If you already answered this.

He does eventually! No worries, I haven't answered this before, and this ask is a perfect opportunity to talk about the mystery twins' lore while we're at it :)

Mabel and Dipper were put into foster care at a young age due to their parent's divorce; neither party being willing to take custody of the twins. Since there were no close friends of relatives who were available to take care of the twins (I'm going to put Sherman and his wife out of the picture for now since I'm not sure how to get around that plot hole), Stanley pulled some strings to adopt the twins, making him a legal guardian to them :) As far as the twins know, though, Stanley is not related to them in any way.

Stan tries his best to not to involve the kids in his mafia business, although, the twins are still aware on some level that their "uncle" is not exactly a saint, and neither is his "work". But they love him nonetheless.

Anyways, the twins get actually introduced to the lore way later. The adoption happened a while ago, and several years later the twins are 11 and bored during the summer holidays. Which is perfect timing for Stan, because he needs them out of the house and away for the time being while he's busy taking care of his "work". He doesn't want them to go stir crazy and start causing trouble, so he decides to send them away to some remote town in Oregon called "Gravity Falls", where there is the least amount of violent gang activity and is far, far away from anywhere under enemy mafia dominion (other than his).

Stan lets them go their merry way with a chaperone (Soos) to stay over at his Abuelita's house. He double makes sure the twins are looked after by hiring one of the locals who owe him a favor (Manly Dan's family) to watch over them. This is how Wendy comes into the picture (she doesn't play that big of a role but still) :)

The twins are understandably a little put off by the fact that their uncle just sent them away to the middle of nowhere, but they manage to befriend some of the townsfolk and even find a strange journal in the woods.

They eventually meet Stanford, the unstable old "town kook" that everyone in town has warned them about and adviced to stay away from, and befriend him. He's amicable enough, but he always seems as though he knows more than he himself realizes.

And you'd think this is all there is that Gravity Falls has to offer. Just some strange anomalies and even stranger townsfolk.

But, Dipper wishes to learn more about the anomalies in town, to which Wendy off handedly mentions how her father used to talk about an anomaly researcher that once lived in town. When they all go ask Manly Dan for more information, he refuses to elaborate on it, calling it "nasty business" that they shouldn't be getting involved with.

Obviously, being kids, they decide to get involved in it.

Dipper and Mabel go looking for signs of this so-called "scientist" around town, picking up more clues from what the townsfolk tell them. Until eventually, their investigation leads them to a shack on the edge of town, nestled deep within the dense woods.

The house where the researcher supposedly once resided is abandonned and decrepit. They explore its ruins, but end up finding more questions than answers in the endless sea of indecipherable notes; strange books; rotted specimens and morbid bloody stains. However, the biggest mystery of them all had to be what was hidden beneath the shack. Behind innocuous doors and rickety elevators that brought them down, down, down to a massive structure buried deep underground; the mystery behind this strange researcher seemed to grow ever more.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Did I ever talk about the roleswap AU idea I had where Bill and Mina were in place of Dipper and Mabel, and Ford was in place of Stan? I don't have a LOT of ideas for it but I was thinking about it last night at work.