#spider-man hate ig

[theweirdoinurhouse]

A lousy new roommate (Part 3 of my "Lowsy" series"

Part 1:

Part 2:

(Reader is not from Miles' Universe, story takes place in a different one. Thought I should mention that-)

The Spot as been regularly visiting your apartment for a month now. It's been quite an experience, hanging out with him. But it wasn't as bad as you thought. One day, he told you he didn't have any place to stay. So you offered him to stay at your place from now on. What could possibly go wrong?

Spider-man crashing into your living room wall is what could go wrong.

Spot told you that morning that he was just going out for a walk. Nothing too bad. You decided you would relax on your couch and watch some tv to pass the time.

That was until Spot randomly teleported into your living room via his portal-holes, panting and clearly out of breath. You stood up from the couch quickly, thoughts racing on why he was in such a state.

Before you could ask him though, the wall with your balcony crumbled as someone burst through it. You stepped back as to not get hit by any flying debris, but Spot was not so fortunate.

You realized the figure that just broke your wall was Spider-man when Spot yelled "Spider-man! Oh my gosh hi! Funny to see you here!"

Spot was dodging Spider-man's punches, portaling his fists somewhere else occasionally. You just stood behind your couch, getting some entertainment from this. You probably wouldn't last five minutes going against Spider-man anyways.

"Give it up Spot! I'm taking you to Miguel whether you like it or not!" Spider-man yelled, trying to throw another fist at Spot, only for it to disappear into his chest.

"Ooo, that tickles!" Spot responds with. You can tell Spider-man is getting annoyed, because he's throwing punch after punch with such force you weren't surprised he crashed your wall effortlessly.

Eventually, you started getting sick of seeing the two fight (if you can even call it that). You stepped out from behind the couch and stood on the cushions. You raised your hands to your mouth, for no reason other than dramatic affect.

"Could you please take this fight elsewhere?! I'm already high in debt, and the broken wall doesn't help!"

Both Spot and Spider-man freeze and turn to you. Spider-man then turned to Spot.

"You put the life of some random stranger in danger just to escape me!"

"I live here! Plus, you were the one following me. So really you put them in danger-"

Before Spot could properly finish, Spider-man man punched him in the face. While Spot was rolling on the floor, holding where his nose would be and "crying", Spider-man turned to you.

"Are you okay ma'am/sir/mx?"

You shook your head.

"No, I'm not okay! You busted my wall and punched my roommate-acquaintance-friend!"

Spider-man was going to respond to your statement, but a portal opening underneath him dropped him out of your living room before he could say anything.

Spot got up from the floor, rubbing his face. He cracked his back, then hands, than neck.

"Jeez, that guy was persistent! Glad he at least saw me as dangerous enough I'd need to be taken in!"

His voice sounded way more happy than you think it should have. He turned to the now open space that acts as a window in your wall. His shoulders slumped, happy mood from earlier dissipating.

"You have some explaining to do," you said, trying to give Spot a harsh look. It was kind of hard because of how pathetic he seemed 24/7.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Guess you're right."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You already figured out about him being from a different universe,because he once gifted you car keys and literally said "they're from a different universe".

Wasn't too hard to figure out.

What did shock you though was that this same dude that you offered to stay in your home because he had nothing and reminded you of a wet cat, was also climbing the list of some Spider-people's most wanted list.

While you were surprised by this, Spot was surprised you didn't seem to have much of a reaction. After the surprise fell, he felt relieved that you probably weren't gonna kick him out.

Only deal was that he'd keep the Spider-people away from your apartment, and help rebuild the wall. And he was perfectly fine with that. Anything to be able to stay with the one person that didn't see him as a freak.

You have told him in the past you weren't a huge fan of Spider-man. Proven today, he broke alot of stuff when fighting crime. And he didn't even help all that much when repairing all of it! Just stands there and takes pictures.

Spot was always glad you didn't like Spider-man. Made living with you a lot easier when you both hated the same person! You always had rants late at night about the shared hatred for the super hero.

One of these nights you two were seated on your couch, brand new glass windows letting in some moonlight through the blinds. The movie you two were watching was finishing up, bucket of popcorn empty and on the floor.

You had one blanket over both of your laps, and you had one wrapped around your shoulders. When the end credits popped up you started ranting about the movie. What you liked, what you didn't, your favorite character, you least favorite character.

You and Spot do this after every new movie you two watched. It was a hobby for you now.

"Oh my god the grave scene! I mean was him taking off his shirt even that necessary? I mean good for the fangirls but like-"

You turned your head to look at Spot, curious about his lack of feedback. When you turned to him you saw his head leaned back against the back of the couch. The spot on his face seemed more like a line than a circle now. Kind of squinted.

'Is he sleeping?' you think. He poke his arm softly. When he doesn't move you do it again, but with a small amount of more force. He still doesn't move. You decide to punch his arm as the final test. Nothing

You lean back to your side of the couch. You stare at the tv for a few minutes, seeing the reflection of you and him. He seemed awfully more peaceful when asleep. But you guess everyone is.

You decided you would just leave him be and go to your room for the night. You slipped the blanket around your shoulders off. You stood up and placed the part of the blanket that was on your lap onto Spot, so that he now has the full blanket.

When you took a step to walk towards you room, you heard the softest whisper you have ever heard in your life.

"Don't go please."

You were surprised you even heard it. You look back at Spot, but he was still in the same position as before. All except for the fact his hand was reached over to where you were seated, gently grasping at the cushion. You stood there for a moment, seeing if he would talk again.

All he did was move so that he was laying down, head resting on the pillow on your side of the couch. He grabbed the big blanket he pulled it up to cover his shoulders. He was too tall for your couch, shins and below sticking out over the opposite side of the couch.

You decided you either A). Imagined what he said or B). It wasn't important.

So you waked to your room, got changed, hopped into the bed, than fell asleep. It was a dreamless night. But Spot was dreaming.

Of you.

A/N: I can't write fight scenes to save my life. Also I kind of have writers block, so sorry if this sucked. Thank you all for the support to my previous parts, hope this didn't dissapoint too much. Also not beta-read)

[ayosdesignz-blog]

Spoilers for across the Spiderverse I guess.

Finally watched Across the Spiderverse and despite the spoilers and observations I'd read beforehand, I'm offended by both Spot and Miguel.

Like...to the point I don't understand why the content I came across generally really liked them? Miguel especially. FUCK Miguel. Good guy my ass. Dude has practically built a cult. And he's the unquestioned head who's word is law and doesn't have to listen to anyone just because.

I don't understand the vehement and persistent hate these 2 GROWN ASS MEN have towards a damn 14-now 15 year old boy. A goddamn child.

Both keep victim blaming and pushing and projecting their mistakes, the wrong doings of others, the plot of fucking KINGPIN onto him and I just DON'T understand. Miles literally did NOTHING wrong to get this kind of vitriol from a pair of strangers who Actually know what's up. Or that claim to anyways.

Spot over here claiming to be the scientist that made/had the spider that made Miles Spiderman. He also basically admitted to being one of the evil scientists that was under goddamn Kingpin's employ. The same Kingpin who cooked up and pressed and demanded his selfish world destroying demands be met. Yet he wants to blame the scared child who was literally only defending himself and trying to do good by helping to stop more ppl (including that family he claims he lost but had actually rejected him for reasons) don't die. Why is he not mad at his boss? Former boss? Why is he not taking responsibility for losing the spider experiment? Yet he wants credit in making the newest spiderman? Why does he want to make a literal child the root of his problem instead of literally any of the adults it could've been...like other Peter?

Only thing I can think of is that he's such a sad pathetic piece of incompetent shit that a damn (mostly)clueless child was the only target he could shift blame too and feel like he could properly threaten and win against. Only to be proven wrong and have the audacity to be offended that the child he's failing to harm doesn't take him seriously nor accept the false responsibility of his own problems he's trying to place on Miles.

And then there's Miguel's bitch ass.

Acting all knowing and despite being aware of the facts that Miles is OBJECTIVELY not at fault or aware of any problems (aside from Spot) is unnecessarily rude and hostile towards him from the very start.

And when he calms down enough to actually talk and explain some things like a rational person, it's essentially to give his own crazy (and mildly horrifying from implications cuz STALKER USURPER ALERT) sob story so he can tell a kid to let his dad be killed "because the worlds will end otherwise" and basically imply that since Miles saved Captain Singh they'll have to murder that cop to make things "right".

And then later, when he catches Miles outside after that ridiculous and hilarious chase was somehow compelled to tell this child, with words filled with (unnecessary) aggressive hate, that he's a "mistake" that shouldn't exist and should have never been spiderman.

Smells like self projecting to me.

And also, it's bullshit!

Based on what I recall from this movie I just watched, one or both of these men I can't stand is lying. Spot is claiming to be of Miles' dimension with the radio active spider but Miguel is claiming that spider is from a different dimension.

And the fact that Miguel rudely brings up more trauma, victim blames MORE, and tries to put the responsibility of a death caused by a murderous adult villain onto that same (child) victim only to later try to lament to the other spider ppl that Miles "won't listen" and "talking won't work" since he just tried it honestly put him on my character shit list.

Like I knew from spoilers that he was deemed attractive and interesting and that he didn't like this version of Miles but I didn't have like...any indepth details or whatever. I wasn't actively looking for spoilers.

I went into this movie expecting to like him, even just somewhat. But honestly? Fuck that guy. And not in a sexy way.

I mean...He immediately attempts to intimidate a child into submission upon 1st meeting for no reason after being rude as fuck while said child was trying to make a good impression and was honestly just happy to be there. And then he later tries to emotionally (and mentally?) break Miles verbally as if him loving his family, wanting his dad alive if possible is a bad thing. I had assumed, before going in that Miguel had at least started off civil and professionally polite with Miles. Figured Miles had purposely done something to his face that made Miguel go from cautious to distant. He hadn't. At all.

It's giving racist lowkey for the way he literally hates this mixed, primarily black presenting, child for existing and the way he said he wanted to just ignore/pretend that Hobie (another black male) was even there also made me raise an eyebrow. Maybe it's cuz of my own experience dealing with prejudice from ppl I least expected it from as a kid myself but Miguel is giving it and that's what I'm seeing and he's an asshat for it. He has no right and no reason to act as he did let alone say what he said. Fuck his ✨️trauma✨️ caused by his own mistakes as an adult who damn well knew better.

Mans literally stalked his own doppelganger and inserted himself into the other him's life once that one died only for it all to go to shit from glitches likely because he shouldn't have been there and what Kingpin was doing. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he'd killed his other self to live that dream life he wanted so bad.

Yet he wants everyone to believe a child in the wrong place at the wrong time and being saved by a superhero before taking up the mantel of a hero himself in honor of his savior since shit just happened to him...in his OWN WORLD MIND YOU, is completely wrong and unacceptable.

He can miss me with that bullshit. He's wrong period in my book.

Also if Miles is considered the: "oRIgInaL anOmALy" and has been living life just fine with powers caused by a alternate dimension spider then there's probably a good chance he can change his world's "canon events" without things going to shit since according to bitchMiguel, Mile's has technically been doing that from the start by even existing.

Think about it: Miles became a spiderman with active spider ppl there to train him. He wasn't alone or even the 1st spider person there. He knew what was happening as he changed since it had happened before and was publicized. His love interest Gwen is not only from a different dimension but also spiderwoman. A civilian unrelated to him knew of him and the others and provided additional support without becoming a liability, his uncle may have died but was a criminal unlike all the (known?) others, he's had no glitch or issues with his powers, he has more powers than the basic spiderman w/o the need of a suit, he's got both parents and both love him and also think rather positively of Spiderman w/o knowing it's him. His cop dad willingly works with spiderman too.

Also am I the only one concerned that the so called sophisticated technology they have to send ppl back to their dimensions has semi regularly sent their captures back to the wrong place? Because the only thing they tried to do was stop the machine from sending him, so unless that affected the way it operates to determine where a person is from that means they probably have been sending ppl to the wrong places, unknowingly fucking shit up just as much if not more in the multiverse than b4 they tried to correct it.

I bet they're actually wrong about all kinds of things and their causes and just don't realize it.

But I am estatic Hobie is just as awesome as I was lead to believe. Watching him, listening to what he says, I firmly believe he was an op to the spider society from the start to learn what he could, try to get other spiders to THINK more, and prepare for when he decides to leave them so he doesn't need them to utilize the tools they had a monopoly on.

I mean bro made the tactical decision to quit when Miguel and others were fully distracted by Miles on some sketchy shit and I feel like that kept him from having to deal with a cult leader bitchMiguel trying to make an example out of him for doing so or something.

[iamdeltas]

Just to preface, this is not at all meant to be a dig at Unicorn: Warriors Eternal. I am really enjoying that show and I am genuinely having fun watching it.

But one thing that was interesting to me about watching Across the Spider-Verse today was how one aspect of it contrasted an aspect of a Unicorn Warriors Eternal episode from a few weeks back. Specifically episode 3.

Because I remember watching episode 3 and sighing loudly when the Indian fortune teller conman starting speaking in a very goofy and stereotypical Indian accent because oh my god, I thought we were done with this? I thought we were done with the walking talking Indian stereotypes with exaggerated accents that don't even sound like any Indian I have ever known (and being a first generation Indian-American, I know quite a few).

So it was such a contrast today seeing Pavitr Prabakhar, a desi hero who's a fun non-stereotypical character in his own right, with a much more natural sounding Indian accent. I was always gonna end up appreciating him, but I think being smacked in the face with that Indian stereotype from a few weeks back made me appreciate him even more.

[hazmatazz]

i am fully aware that superhero movies (esp. older movies) often were filled with propaganda, racism, and just plenty of issues that 8 year old me absolutely didn't catch. i just thought it was funny the movies appear to have missed the mark if my feed is to be correct

[lxverrings]

Hola!

It's been a while I know 💀

I just have something in my head and can't get my head out of it. Just hear me out- 😭

Spider!Reader being Miles', Gwen's and Mayday's work-mom (basically their mom at work). Reader just loves kids (haha can't relate 💀) and is a natural mother.

Miguel realizes that he wants needs to put a baby in Reader asap. (Breeding kink basically)

- Solecito (aka. Spanish anon 🇪🇸)

Me coming right back to life from how GOOD this ask is... Holy shit you put me in a mood 🥲

Motherly Instinct.

A Miguel O’hara drabble ; MDNI, NSFW under the cut!

Summary: What Solecito said, except I took the creative liberty to ensure reader speaks Spanish and also Mayday kind of has MJ (/other variations of her) so I’m going to add Pav and Hobie!!! Also reader isn’t necessarily a spider-person but def in the medical part of the spider society, so you go ahead with your little imagination <3

R/N: this put me in such a mood I need to find more fics like this smh and extra note, I feel you Solecito, I HATE TODDLERS!!!! babies are fine, so are teens, but TODDLERS??? TODDLERS???? my patience is thin... But I personally would like kids and especially with Miguel O’hara...

Warnings: NSFW under cut!!!! Obviously breeding kink warnings, mating press ig, Miguel physically cannot get his hands off reader...

——

You’ve been in the society for quite a while now. From Miguel’s start to the shablam with Miles and the final acceptance of the boy into the society, even if Miguel was a bit sour about it...

Either way, it’s been long enough so that Miguel put a ring on that finger...

For the time being, your husband hasn’t had time to discuss babies, which is something that you’ve been thinking about, and subtly (not) been bringing up. He promises that someday in the future.

Well, someday is still too far away.

You’ve been at least calming your raging baby fever by talking with the younger spiders and doing your best to take care of their occasional reckless behavior...

“Hey! Heyyy!!! I told you I was fine!” Gwen puffed as she was bandaged up from the shards of glass due to her impromptu landing, Hobie just chuckled— probably his idea...— more than anything to land that way.

“Oi, “ma’...” do me a favo’ ’n check on my ’vitr, thanks, luv.” he mused, he seemed unfazed, despite the wraps tied around his wrists and arms.

“Will do, Hobie...” you smiled warmly, nodding at the younger spider, while Miles nervously fidgeted. “Miles...” you began before you gently patted his arm, “It’s okay, don’t worry.” you smiled reassuringly, trying to soothe his nerves— seeing Gwen and Pavitr get hurt like that, definitely must have altered the nerves in the young man.

“I know... I just... I guess I’m nervous. I would talk it out with mí mamí, but I guess I just... Well. It’s nice talking to you, not lie a replacement, but... Like a supplement? Wait... No that sounds wrong...” he mumbled— which got him out of that loop.

“You sound like a gym bro...” Pavitr finally giggled. Hobie let out a small sigh of relief and chuckled.

“Swolemates, huh?” Hobie chuckled, you rolled your eyes and smiled at them, the little group of preteens filled the room with easy chatter.

You smiled and nodded at them, unaware of Miguel’s gaze from the sight of the cameras that filled the screens of his monitoring.

Honestly, Miguel wasn’t paying much attention, until Lyla’s alarming noises went off.

“What the shock, Lyla?!”

The snarky hologram just smirked, “Oh nothing.”

“I just wanted to show you this!” she chirped with a smile.

He just rolled his eyes for a while— until the screen lit up with your face and the chit-chats with the younger spiders.

Mom? Ma?

Fuck.

He was so down bad.

Embarrassing, really, wasn’t it?

Either way, Miguel just stood and grumbled.

“Lyla. Shock. Call her in.”

“C’monn...”

“Shut the shock up and call her in!”

“C’mon! C’mon!”

“Please, can you just shocking—”

“Yeah, I already called her.” Lyla smirked as Miguel grumbled and swatted her off.

“Boss got you on track, huh ma?” Hobie smirked as you smiled nervously and swatted him off.

“I bet it’s not important...” you mused before Lyla interrupted.

“It’s very important!!!”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure everything is okay? Maybe it’s important— but in a good way?” Gwen offered with a small smile and tilted her head quietly.

“Don’t be that way,” Miles muttered, but he shuddered, perhaps he was getting the PTSD that Miguel put him through.

“You are all such pessimists! The passion is palpable, how can you concentrate when our big bad boss is in loooove?” Pavitr quickly shot back in absolute delight.

You shooed them off with a smile before retreating to Miguel’s... Lair. If you could call it that. Office? Same thing.

You walked off quickly, and entered his office. If you could call it that.

Miguel watched you sternly and crossed his arms as he stalked over your smaller form

“Hola, Miguelito!”

“Ay. You’re finally here.” he grumbled, putting his large hand on the top of your head, pushing back stray locks of hair to kiss your forehead.

You smiled warmly, unaware of the daunting gaze he held on you.

“I have to ask something of you.” he mumbled as he lightly peppered your face in kisses, “És muy importante...”*

“Lo que tú quieras...”*

He stared down for a moment.

“Quiero un bebé.”*

Oh.

Oh.

You stared up at him nervously, your face flushed as your hands twittered together, and you gazed nervously up at him, “Oh?”

“Shock.” he hissed and held your chin as his kisses became more passionate, “Wanna get you pregnant, I want to give you a little baby. A little baby that looks like you, shock. You would make such a good mommy. Cuidando chamacos qué ni son tuyos... Y lo hacés tan bién...”*

Your breath hitched but you smiled up at him, “Me gustaría tener un bebé contigo...”*

The bed screeched underneath the brutal pace Miguel was going at, how many hours had it been?

Fuck.

Your clammy hands pulling at the sheets and the hiccups and tears that left your eyes as he pounded over and over again.

His tip prodding at your abused cervix, the harsh little veins scratching at your sweetest spots, and the scruffiness of his happy trail scratching at your little pearl of nerves.

God knows how many orgasms you had, your ankles over his shoulders as he bent you in half had your squelching cunt shaking and twitching as tears left your eyes at rapid paces.

“Dios. Ay! Miguel, por favor—Sisisi— ay! Ahí! Ahí!”* you begged in tears, both of you reduced to mingled Spanish as he gruffed and grunted.

“Te voy a llenar otraves, así te gusta. Sí. Tómalo todo. No dejes qué sé salga nada. Te voy a llenar de bebés. Te voy a dejar redonda y hinchada, hasta qué quedes bién embarazada y tengas mí bebé. Hasta qué grites de tan sensible y débil qué estés...”* he hissed back and kissed you with a stronger passion.

He was relentless with his pace as his fingers worked your nipples and he mused something about getting to drink from your swollen boobs, and getting to dress you in maternity clothes— how he couldn’t wait to watch it work wonders on your body. And how well he would take care of you with his baby. How his spoiled little wife would get nothing but the best, and have her with the most beautiful baby imaginable.

No mercy was bestowed on your poor body and less so that night. Your poor cunt was seeping his essence, and every time that a single drop leaked, he gave you another round until you passed out, only to fall asleep to his gentle praises and his gentle caresses.

Because he wouldn’t have it any other way; you would make the perfect mommy, and god was he lucky, that ring on your finger was absolutely perfect...

But what would make this more perfect? A little baby in your arms.

Surely, as soon as the baby was here, it wouldn’t be very long until he wanted another.

♡

Translations:

It’s very important...

Whatever you want.

I want a baby.

Taking care of rascals that aren’t even yours... And you do it so well...

I would like to have a baby with you...

There, there!

I’m going to fill you up again. That’s how you like it. Yes. Take it all. Don’t let anything spill out. I’m going to fill you with babies. I’m going to leave you round and swollen. Until you’re pregnant and you have my baby. Until you scream from how sensitive and weak you are...

[maythearo]

Oh my god, spider-man🇧🇷‼️ it's spider-man 🇧🇷‼️‼️ spider-man ‼️‼️🇧🇷🇧🇷‼️

Made a speed run design of my spidersona (what it was initially) for a twitter thing, and I'll probably make a cooler ref sheet with doodles n stuff, just prob not now KWNDKSDNKS

(I censored the irl spider pic just in case, but they are based on the brazilian wandering spider! They put their arms up to look intimidating to possible predators, but I think it just makes them look like they're yelling YIPPEEE, so cute)

Some design notes:

so I'm from São Paulo aka the NYC of Brazil ig, and I have a fascination with how the city looks at night, so I thought of this darker color scheme with bright highlights for the spider suit! + the stripes on the wandering spider's legs reminded me of those caution/warning tapes, then boom everything came together! Since those spiders are known to be very agressive also 🤨

And speaking of this aggressiveness, Spidey Brasil got a brutal style of combat. They don't know their spider strength fr. Adding that wrecking ball weapon-thing to the equation, fighting with them must be one painful experience. Idk about other people but me and my friends used to call that wrecking ball-like toy "bate-bate" and it was my whole childhood 💪

Ironically enough, Miranha Armadeira is also known as the super-villain-damage- control spidey. They hate the mess those guys make around the city, so they fight aggressively WHILE avoiding total destruction??? Yeah

Special spidey power would probably be invisibility or camouflage of some sorts, like Miles'. I thought of making them have venom too but idk, maybe I'll keep things simpler for now and only make them have the invisibility + being crazy strong 👍

[keys-hellscape-1020]

Hobie Brown Headcannons

I have some horrible brain rot for this man and I need to let it out somehow, so uh. Here you go ig.

Hobie Brown x gn!Reader

I think the whole fandom can agree when I say this man is Protective. Not in a suffocating way, no he would never, but in an observant way. He always has an eye on you and if you signal that you need his help he always, (and I mean always) comes in swinging. No one messes with his favorite person.

He’s generally pretty observant, but when it comes to you it seems like he’s somehow even more so. If you need help getting something off a high shelf he’s behind you getting it down for you with a small smirk and a kiss to the top of your head before you can even say anything. It’s not that he doesn’t think you’re capable, he knows you are. His love language is just acts of service. And he loves you a lot.

He’ll also help you out in other ways. If you happen to be a person who gets a period he will know your schedule like the back of his hand. And if you’re cursed with irregular ones he’ll somehow know before you even do when you’re gonna start (spidey-sense anyone?). He’ll come prepped with your sanitary device of choice as well as chocolate, sweets, and anything else you may need.

On a similar theme this man is firm believer in cuddles. He needs them or else he is incapable of functioning. How is he supposed to go deal with idiots if he hasn’t received his dose of love? He can’t. That’s how.

As said previously this man is tall, (6’3) and fairly spindly too. When you cuddle this man is going to be wrapped around you like a pretzel. His arms will be around your waist, you can’t tell where your legs end and his begin, and your chests will be pressed up right next to one another. Good luck if you need to get up to pee. You will not be getting up until this man has woken up enough to realize what you’re trying to do. And even then probably not. Hope you have a bladder of steel cause you’ll be needing it.

When you do finally get this man out of bed, I can see him being the one to cook. He’s not a great chef by any means but he’s not half bad either. You won’t see him making anything fancy but he has perfected the art of simple yet delicious meals. I saw someone else head-cannon that this man makes a delicious oatmeal and I couldn’t agree more. This man makes the best oatmeal you’ve ever tasted.

On the note of food, dates! This man loves taking you out on the town, but only small locally owned places! No contributing to capitalism here! If you’re new to London you’re lucky cause you just scored yourself the best tour guide in town! He’ll show you all the best pubs, small ones tucked away in alleyways. Best places to watch the sun set over the skyline, hangout spots, picnics, this man knows it all and he will gladly share his knowledge with you!

After all is said and done and he’s done showing you around the city, chances are he’s gonna have to suddenly disappear on a… very long bathroom trip. What do you mean you saw Spider-Punk swinging by the window two seconds after he left? What a coincidence!

Seriously though, this man hates lying to you and will refrain from doing so in anyway he can. He might not outright tell you he’s spider-punk, but he won’t not tell you if that makes sense. I’ve seen multiple other people head-cannon that he’ll just leave little hints around and wait for you to connect the dots and I whole-heartedly agree. He knows that you’re smart and he has faith you’ll figure it out quickly.

Once you do figure it out and confront him a considerable weight has lifted from his shoulders. He hates hiding things from you, lying to you about why he disappears for considerable amounts of time. And now that you know he doesn’t have to!

In all seriousness be prepared to be awoken at 2am from tapping on your window. When you open it Hobie falls in, in his Spider-Punk suit, 12 different shades of black and blue and coated in blood. This happens multiple times a month. You’ll get used to it. Probably.

————

A/N: Welp first time writing for Hobie… Let me know what you think! I’m very unsure about his characterization. Although it’s very hard to write him well cause they gave him SO little screen time 😭 I’m in the trenches over here trying to do this man Justice.

[gr4veyardsblog]

Enemies to friends with benefits to lovers with hazel.

LOVE ME

Summary : hazel and reader have a weird relationship from fucking to hating each others guts but what happens when they start to develop something more for each other

Warning ⚠️: hinting at smut? , angst ?? Ig

A/n : to whoever sent this ma bad wrote the first half like an hour after they sent this in and forgot/ got busy but here it is more prouder of the second half rather than first but enjoy

“Hey get up it’s already almost 8:30” you said shoving ,the person next to you, leg and grabbing a random shirt to pull over your half naked torso

“Whats the exact time” groaned Hazel while slightly shoving off your hand off her calf

You roll your eyes, standing up and collect your things getting ready to leave “ just hurry the hell up I don’t need you blaming me for you being late to school” as you grab both of your shoes getting ready to put them on and turn around seeing Hazel putting on a button up and stop

“You wore that yesterdy” she looks at u confused and a slightly annoyed “and?” You scoff and roll your eyes again “AND if someone sees u in the same outfit they’ll question it I don’t want them somehow connecting me and you and this” you motion to you both

She shakes her head as she gets up and moves across the room and starts getting ready

You get up and start heading to the door but stop and turn around “remember don’t tell anyone about this you understand”

She turns while buttoning up her shirt “trust me wouldn’t dream about it”

You nod in approval and turn around to walk away but feel a presence on you back and hear close to you ear “got something on you skirt let me” and feel a soft pat on your bottom skirt but jerk away and continue to walk downstairs and out the door

——————————————————————-

“Hey you hear about that really cool club after school we were thinking of joining after school if u wanna come with?” Isabel asked you in the cafeteria

“Hello?” She waved her hand if you face trying to break the zoning out

“Huh yea sure” she looks and follows where you were looking at and smiles brightly “oh great so you’ve met the three girls who run it then?”

You look at her confused and tilt you head “why would you say that?” She furrowed her eyebrows and gestured in the direction of Hazel “just assumed since you were looking at the one with short hair” she turns to Brittany “Hazel right” Brittany opens her mouth to say something “yea” you cut her off and panic “I mean I least I think so I’m not sure”

“Yea well we were wondering if u want to go it’s for empowering woman” you cut her off with a scoff “what’s the matter “ you shrug ur shoulder and shake your head with an amused smile on your face “nothing just them three even just Hazel empowering woman?”

“They seem nice let’s all go after school yea?” You and Brittany both turn and slowly nod

“Okay after school” you bring out your phone and text someone

——————————————————————-

Hazel looks down at her phone with the words ‘meet me at the usual in 20’ and sighs while walking up to the broom closet that’s towards the back of the school.

She knocks three times and hears a muffled voice ask who is it. She rolls her eyes and scoffs “it’s spider man who else would it b-” the door opening in the middle of her sentence and a hand yanking her into the closet. In a matter of seconds the doors closed , locked and she feels your lips running sloppily up and down her neck

“Is this what you called me here for?” You groan against her neck and slightly shake your head yes against her neck “duh what else would I call you here for ?” She chuckles mockingly and shakes her head “thought we couldn’t risk getting caught at school”

You pull away and she looks at your face your lips swollen “just shut up and take off your shirt” you said tugging up her shirt and she laughs and helps you with it “eager are we?”

You ignore her and pull your shirt off and wrap your arm around her back fiddling with her bra to unhook it “so empowering woman eh?” You look at her as you unhook her bra and kiss around her exposed chest

She stops and looks down you looking up at her with a hint of amusement in your eye “you heard about that?” She scratches the back of her head. You pull away and nod with a teasing smile on your face. “You bet your ass I heard about that. Hazel Callahan empowering woman” “hey I love woman” “I’m sure you do” you go back to nipping at her chest “y-you can come to the club if you want” she says looking elsewhere but your direction.

You slow down and look up at her a faint blush on your cheeks “I-I mean pj and Josie want enough members to join so we can be qualified as a club” your shoulders slump and you pull away “I’ll see , now take your pants off.”

—————————————————————

“I don’t know if I want to go anymore “ you groan stopping a few feet away from the gym door “oh come on it’ll be a great experience” Isabel said while hooking her arm around yours and Brittany on your other “besides it’ll give u a chance to get closer to Hazel” you go to object to that statement but they open the door and practically drag you into the gym.

You walked in on pj talking to the other girls and what looks to be Mr. G? “Is this the right place ?” Asked Isabel as all the girls looked at you three but your eyes for some reason finding a certain brunette but catching yourself and quickly looking away when her eyes met yours.

Suddenly you guys were in a circle to fight each other after Josie punched pj right in the nose and basically breaking her nose. “Okay bitches let’s have our first fighters” pj looks around and smiles and points at hazel “how about you hazel” she looks around to pick hazels partner, you smile and spring up your hand and see hazel rolling her eyes and scoffing in disbelief with a hint of what might be a smile “I’ll go against her” pj looks back at you suprised but smiles. “Okay let’s get this going”

You both start to circle each other neither one willing to throw the first punch after a good couple of seconds “cmon one of you guys throw a punch this is a FIGHTING practice” you hear pj yell your eyes not tearing away from Hazel until pj says fighting. Hazel taking that moment to throw a sloppy right hook against your jaw.

You look at her in disbelief, Hazel standing up straight with what might be worry in her eyes but are wiped away once you land a hard smack against her cheek. You both go back and forth sock after slap after tackle until you wind up with you on your back and hazel on top “seem familiar” she whispers you roll your eyes and land a sharp punch to hazel right in the center of her face. She falls back with a thud and you quickly scurry to her as everyone gasps and start to walk to you guys.

You start to stand her up with the help of Sylvie “here I’ll go clean her up in the locker room “ you lean her against you and you both slowly walk past the gym doors into the locker room and into the bathroom sitting her against the sink and grabbing a paper towel and dampening it with water and start to bring it to her face “I…..can do it” she goes to reach for the towel out of her hand and you move it away “no I got it, it’s my fault anyway” you start to get closer your face a good couple of inches away from her face and slowly stop dapping her nose as you both connect eyes. You feel yourself slowly leaning in. Hazel panicks and swiped the paper towel out of your hand and pulls away turning and facing away from you towards the mirror starting to clean herself up. “I got it”

“Here let me help” you say taking a step closer your chest almost against her side “i said I got it!” She shouts “gosh just trying to help” she looks away from you through the mirror and shakes her head “We’ll don’t stop acting like you care” your shoulders slump and you look hurt “i-i do car-“ “i don’t want to have sex with you no more” your cut off by her statement and your eyes widen your hands falling to your side “in fact I think it’s best if we just leave each other alone” she continues to say not being able to make eye contact

“You don’t mean that” you try to reason “i don’t like you y/n!” She turns to you making eye contact but loosing it a second later “i hate you” she says in such a low tone you wouldn’t be able to hear it if anyone else was in the room. You turn your head eyes tearing up and shake your head “your an asshole Hazel” you throw the paper towel at her chest and go to walk out the bathroom and back to the gym hazel quickly shaking her head and going on your trail “wait - “

You walk into the gym and head straight to your backpack and grab it on. Isabel and Brittany walking up to you , looking worried and start asking you what happened “nothing just remember I have a huge project for chemistry “ they nod and say bye and to call if anything happens. You make it to the door when you can hear the girls asking Hazel if she is okay as you walk out the door and your school and to your car , tears running down your cheek as you drive home.

————————————————————

“Do I really have to be here?” You whine to Isabel and Brittany as you prepare your cheer for the big game. “Yes you do your part of the team”

After everything you still haven’t talked to Hazel and you’ve really wanted to especially after the whole tucker incident but she made it clear she wanted nothing to do it you.

You pick up your pompoms and start to do the routine when pj , Josie and the other girls from the fight club come over yelling about how they need our help. “If your dreams pj” says Isabel “ which you don’t deserve to have it should be ,like …… total darkeness” you cringe and continue with the routine wondering why they are so panicked

Suddenly they start to scream for the cheerleaders to kiss and I look up and see hazel on the bleachers screaming for us to kiss “maybe we should help them” I suggest turning to Isabel and Brittany “no they lied about everything to everyone” you look around and see them continue to panic and yell “screw this” you throw your pompoms on the ground running towards the bleacher stairs hearing faint “wait don’t” and “they’re just lying about this too” from Isabel and Brittany and rush up to Hazel yelling to get her attention.

“Hazel!” “What-“ you cut her off by grabbing her by the face and smashing your lips against hers not feeling her kiss back you go to move away but are soon pulled back in. “Can we cut this gay shit and get this show on the road” you hear someone say and pull away from Hazel

You say holding onto her face. Her hands on your face “I want to keep having sex with you” you drop your face “no! I want to keep having sex with you but together” you see a faint tint of blush flush her cheeks and tip of her ears “sorry that came out wrong…what I mean if I want-“ you cut her off with a another kiss and pull away “is hazel Callahan asking me to be her girlfriend? The girl she hates ?” You mock with a fake sad face. She laughs softly and lays a small kiss on the tip of your nose “I could never hate you” you hum and close your eyes “say that again” she smiles and leans in closer her lips grazing yours “I could never hate you no matter what” she whispers on your lips” you hum in pleasure “good” you end it off with a kiss.

[candybowbeansies]

Red Spiderlily

warnings/notes: northern duke!au. this is dark, but can be read as dark romance ig. reader is implied to have been sent to their death in exile after being wrongfully? accused(ya'll committed it or not, up to you) of bad bad shit use your imaginations, arranged marriage(not forced, but can be read that way, just know that reader isn’t supposed to outright hate their husband-to-be), dark fairytales, regaining hope, and opening a new chapter in life. this is short af but i love shiggy so I may or may not expand on this.

New series anyone? Dukes of the North style, BNHA.

There were tales about the North, and the vicious eyeless demon who cursed its Dukedom with its eternal oppression. Hair damaged by winter’s neverending harshness, torn skin shamed by the moon. Harebringer of terror, an ugly creature shroud in darkness, bringing fear with him. But the moment that you, who had been accused of great sin and sent to marry into the Northern Dukedom-a so-called ‘flowery exile’ if you will, a complete mockery-had laid your eyes upon him, the so-called eyeless demon, you had realized he was in fact, no demon without eyes at all.

Silvery-white locks that bring shame to the brightest of stars shimmering on the surface of frozen lakes. Skin, though heavily marred, fairer than winter’s first snowflakes. Crimson hues, dulled and almost lifeless from the burden he was born to carry.

In the moment those hues met yours, you could tangibly imagine them lurid. Bright; full of luster, full of spirit, full of love. They reminded you of-

“Spider Lilies.”

“Pardon?” his rasp makes you jolt, realizing you’ve spoken out loud. Old habits die hard. The sight of his frown, of his browline furrowed in perplexion elicits a soft laugh from you. A small smile.

You were always outspoken, despite your family’s best wishes.

“Your eyes remind me of the red spiderlily. Keeper of death, taker of souls.” you begin, “He who drags his victims to their grave, he who protects their rotting corpses from Hell's hounds…” you trail off, watching his frown deepen in what you assumed to be disdain, though it only lasted a moment, “...posing as a purifying poison dyed by the crimson of blood.” 

His chin lifts and a brow quirks, regal in his glory, telling of his lineage; close yet so very distant Royalty.

“He who guides weary souls with his lurid hue to the cycle of rebirth.” you speak, your words, and the meaning behind them, oddly and darkly…romantic, in a sense.

“The red spiderlily.” you repeat softly.

Because the moment you were cast aside from all you knew, you were all but dragged to what they had hoped to be your damned grave; the North. And here, in a place meant for despair, where you had expected your end in nothingness, you encounter a reminder of a dark fairytale from your childhood that inspired what you thought you no longer had. Hope.

A silent understanding hung in the air, heavy. He lifts his arm, offering his palm, with a soft rustle of his heavy cloak and muted metallic chinks sounding from his armor.

Perhaps you did not fall in love with him at first sight. 

Yet, you knew this; he would not drag you to your grave an unwilling soul like they would in a heartbeat. The Duke-the man in front of you, would stay by your side and defend you to the bitter end. He would be that beautiful crimson hue that would lead you beyond to be born anew.

You swear you can already feel the warmth of the future.

You knock the ice from your bones, reaching for his offered hand without hesitation. He releases a soft huff, and you swear, you could see light in his eyes, only for a brief moment. As he turns, you step by his side, and he leads you to the next cycle of your life.

[sksksksksgreat]

Jayce and Viktor were characters completely forgotten by riot and i was more than fine with that, people didn't really play with them, and when you did they didn't know how to play against them, but their gameplay was so fun especially jayce's, and so were their stories, easily one of my favorite backstorys in the game both of them, who's telling the truth? None of them, both, they cherry picked what they individually thought made them look better, did that really happened the way they described it? No! It's all blown up out of proportion and you're stupid in fully believing in one of either versions.

And then they decided to make a cartoon with the most famous character in the game and they put them there and it felt like i got my kids ripped out of my arms and crucified in front of me, i've never seen a character so mischaracterized by a fandom like jayce was, imagine having your little small guy exposed to thousands of people and they are all throwing tomatos at him. I shouldn't really take offense because they were not really like their league versions but hey it's just the beginning maybe they'll change and yeah they wont. They're getting revamped and changing the story, they are completely killing the characters i was once so fond of.

There were so many people hating on jayce for being a normal guy and trying, because he was more privileged than viktor, he wasn't even that privileged he still couldn't pay for his college he got a scholarship because he is a genius and he was so dedicated to doing the best he could but i mean everything feels privileged when you compare it to zaun whose people were breastfed toxic waste from giant spiders as babys or something.

He didn't really have to try to make the lives of the people from there better but he did because he careeeed because hes a good guy and was the only one trying to get something done the first time ever and they hated him for it and they accused him of the craziest things like for leaving a grown ass man alone on his own, for having a hot girlfriend, for being manipulated because (he was an adult and should know better as if there's an age limit for getting manipulated) , newgens cracking jokes that he is stupid and has to ask viktor about science stuff when he is a literal scientist like 😭😭

People projected so much onto viktor they saw every thing jayce did and didn't do for him as if it was with them which was insaaaaaaane.

All of that for such a mid show, cringe dialogue, cringe soundtrack, boring characters (and yeah that includes both of them) (except for vi ig but thats because her lesbian swag is too strong) a story that didn't seem to go ANYWHERE, weird ass pacing and a laughable attempt at political commentary (coming from no other than league of legends the game known for it's racist players, s.a lawsuits and monetary exploitation) ...they really killed my babygirl for THAT? unbelievable, but thats on me for playing league of legends in the first place and getting attatched to the characters, i should've known better, boooooooooooooooooooooo.

They should've made it about demacia/noxus and the magical racism instead.

[differentsublimephantom]

Here’s a Beetlejuice Beetlejuice fanfic/chatfic and headcannons I wrote because I was bored and the ghost characters need more recognition (minor spoilers for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice)

BEETLEJUICE CHATFIC AND CHARACTER HEADCANNONS

BeetleJuice BeetleJuice character headcannons! (Also don’t mind all the super smash bros headcannons, I was watching Blake jennings “what your main in smash says about you” while I made these):

Wolf Jackson the movie star:

◦ Has MAJOR former theatre kid vibes, like he totally had a Hamilton phase and watched Cats ATLEAST once just to make fun of it, but he ended up secretly kinda liking the songs from it.

◦ Wont admit to even HAVING a favourite superhero, but it’s totally Spider Noir

◦ Says he mains someone like Snake in smash, but he actually mains Isabelle, jigglepuff, or The duck hunt dog and he somehow wins EVERY TIME HE PLAYS SMASH because he’s good at spam pressing buttons.

◦ Good at claw machines for some reason. A strange hidden talent, but he probs brags about it every chance he gets (which isn’t often but still)

◦ Everyone thinks/assumes he’s straight and probs bangin his secretary/the girl who brings him coffee (idk if she’s actually his secretary) but then he’ll casually insert “my boyfriend” or “this guy I’m seeing” into a conversation and the whole room is shocked.

◦ Knuckle cracker.

◦ When he’s sad infront of other people he hides his emotions and says he’s fine, but when he’s sad at home alone, he curls up with a bunch of blankets and binge watches all the movies he stared in when he was alive. Only his secretary(?) knows this.

◦ Drinks coffee (obviously) but also likes iced teas. Can on rare occasions be seen wandering around with an Arizona Tea can in hand.

◦ Ocean from RTC vibes. Like he doesn’t really mean to be rude, but he also has a habit of thinking he’s better than most people around him.

◦ That same way that I walk into any store and when I wanna get something I tell myself “I can make that at home.” He watches ANY action movie (especially ones with cgi or heavy effects) and says/thinks “I could’ve done that MYSELF, WITHOUT special affects.”

Bob:

◦ Chronically tired

◦ Under-appreciated-employee-core. Wherever he works in the neitherworld would not FUNCTION without him, but no one who works with him would recognize this until he put in his two weeks notice.

◦ A pushover. I hate to say it, but this man DIED (double died ig?) for a ghost who didn’t deserve that amount of loyalty and Bob probably knows it. He knew Beetlejuice wasn’t worth sacrificing that much for but he did it anyways because he is a pushover.

◦ My general headcannon for all the “tiny head” people in the Beetlejuice franchise is that they can speak telepathically to people, but most either choose not to, or don’t know that they can do it. Bob chooses not to because whenever he does (on rare occasions) it freaks out everyone who’s ever known him and he finds it hilarious.

◦ Current theatre kid. Has all of Heathers memorized. Could sing most RTC songs and says “this is all your fault Jafar” and “youre FUCKIN useless Paul” in his head or under his breath EVERY DAY.

◦ Once played Smash with Wolf Jackson and absolutely HATED the fact that Wolf won every time without really trying. But also Bob mains wii fit trainer, toon link or Kirby because I said so.

◦ Coffee drinker, but also gives off “DO NOT FILL UP A “SUPER BIG GULP” CUP WITH 5-HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG THE WHOLE THING” vibes. He is WIRED.

Harry the hunter:

◦ Bobs uncle who died at around the same age as Bob so that’s why they look the same age/look like the same person.

◦ BESTIES with Ms Argentina

◦ Likes Delores because he hates Beetlejuice and wishes she successfully killed him, but also dislikes her because she killed Bob

◦ Bob is chronically tired but gets a good nights sleep most nights. Harry is an insomniac night owl who stays up until 1:00 in the morning rewatching Over the garden wall or Wall E for the 1000th time even though he KNOWS has to get up at 5:00am that morning.

◦ Only drinks tea or water.

◦ Mostly uses ASL or writing on notepads to communicate (same with Bob)

◦ Bob is the type of employee to work more than he should and do extra stuff and overtime etc. because he thinks people will like him more or atleast he’ll get some benefit from it right? Harry is the employee who knows you should just do your job and leave because no one will care if you do more than that so don’t waste your time.

◦ Just like Bob, he is a theatre kid. And he totally got Ms Argentina into musicals too.

◦

Ms Argentina:

◦ a HARDCORE SIMP for Delores. Like “she could suck my soul out of my body and in my last moments I’d THANK HER” kinda simp (same tho)

◦ WILL THROW HER HEELS AT YOU IF YOU PISS HER OFF (Bob, Wolf Jackson, Beetlejuice, AND EVEN Delores ALL learned this the hard way.)

◦ Mains Daisy in smash because they both have Loud-Lesbian energy

◦ Her nickname is Tina and her real name is Valentina, but ONLY Harry and Delores can call her Tina or her real full first name.

◦ SOMEHOW managed to get Delores to go on a date with her, and now they’re dating. Beetlejuice still has no idea how Tina pulled that off.

◦ Tina gives me tea or coffee drinker vibes, but part of me thinks she sometimes puts vodka in her tea and/or coffee

◦ Because Harry got her to like musicals, she totally got her girlfriend into musicals too

I’ll probably make a chatfic based on the musical and cartoon, but this one is based on the movies

Astrid has created a groupchat

Astrid has added: Lydia Deetz, Richard Deetz, Charles Deetz, and Delia Deetz

Astrid has named the groupchat “💜the Deetz family💜”

Astrid: hi! For those who are bad with tech *cough cough, grandpa* this is a groupchat, “gc” for short. It’s like texting but with multiple people in one text conversation.

Charles Deetz: Thanks kiddo, I was confused!

Richard Deetz: hey! This seems fun!

Lydia Deetz: OMG RICHARD?!

Richard Deetz: Hello Lyds!

Delia Deetz: omg Richard! Hi!

Charles Deetz: hello!

Richard Deetz: hi everyone!

~in a different groupchat~

“Work only” groupchat

Richard: my daughter just added me to a family groupchat 🥰

Bob: nice.

Argentina: omg fun!! My family is still alive.

Bob: So is his, Argentina?

Argentina: oh. OH. How the hell does that work?

Richard: I’ve learned not to question things like that a looooooooooooooooooooong time ago.

Argentina: that’s fair.

Wolf: my family has been hiding from me 😅

Harry: why?

Wolf: because ~~🏳️‍🌈~~

Harry: ah. SERIOUSLY?

Wolf: yeah. They only found out last thanksgiving tho. I was at my Mothers house (she is dead, to clarify) and I mentioned I was seeing a guy, and they DID NOT LIKE THAT LET ME TELL YA

Harry: OMFG XD RELATABLE

Harry: Bob is the only family member of mine I know who will talk to me

Bob: to be fair, only about half of our family is actually DEAD?

Harry: yeah. But if Astrid can add her dad to a family gc then don’t you think they might just not be *trying*?

Bob: that’s fair.

Richard: ANYWAYS, I was thinking maybe I should make a gc with you guys AND my family in it so you guys can be introduced to each other!

Argentina: sure!

Wolf: okay.

Bob: 👍

Harry: 👍

Richard: yay! Okay brb

Richard Deetz has made a groupchat

Richard Deetz had added: Astrid Deetz, Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz, Delia Deetz, Ms Argentina, Wolf Jackson, Bob, and Harry

Richard Deetz has named the groupchat “friends and family”

Harry: I love how apparently me and Bob are just “Harry” and “Bob” and everyone else has some form of last name XD

Bob: omg yeah, I didn’t even notice that! Rude.

Richard: well to be fair, you never told me your last name(s?)

Harry: and I still won’t. It’s still funny tho

Richard: 🙄 alr

Astrid: Dad?! Who are these people?

Richard: my coworkers! Thought I’d introduce you guys

Harry: just “coworkers”? Ouch Rich

Richard: oh hush 😑

Harry: 🤭 k

Astrid: cooooool. Hey.

Bob: hey.

Astrid: OMG @Delia @Lydia @Charles, I forgot to mention I auditioned for my school musical lmao

Lydia: WHAT! And you didn’t tell me? Thats awesome!

Delia: Omg wow!!! You’ll be amazing!

Charles: nice kiddo!

Harry: OMG WHAT MUSICAL IS IT?

Astrid: HAHAHAHA I was NOT expecting that reaction from @Harry

Argentina: he looks very intimidating irl but he’s the biggest FREAKIN NERD YOULL EVER MEET I PROMISE-

Harry: RUDE! But Fr- what musical?

Astrid: Heathers.

Harry: AT A HIGHSCHOOL? Damn

Astrid: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT! But I auditioned anyways for fun.

Harry: so did the cast list come out yet?

Astrid: yeah! I’m gonna be Veronica!!!!!!!

Harry: OMG AWESOME!! I would love to play JD, but I died before even the MOVIE was made, so I’ll never get the chance sadly.

Astrid: DAMN, that’s tough.

Argentina: WOMP WOMP

Astrid: HHAHAHAHAHAHHA WOMP WOMP

Harry: >:O

Lydia: You got a part!!! That’s amazing! When’s opening night???

Richard: yeah! You might not see me in the audience, but I’ll be there!!!

Astrid: it’s in October but rehearsal hasn’t even started yet, I’ll let you know when I know!

Delia: let me know too!

Harry: no offence Delia, but have you SEEN Heathers?? I feel like if ghosts can be unconscious, it would send you into a COMA. With Dead Girl Walking ALONE

Astrid: DEAD GIRL WALKING? She’d be out before Big Fun ends XD

Harry: fair point!

Charles: I know that what you two are typing is technically words, but I understand NONE OF THEM

Harry: that’s also fair XD Poor Charles

Wolf Jackson: I know what the words mean! And your right, Delia would be sent into a coma by that show. Movie OR musical

Argentina: one word: Blue.

Wolf: OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT THAT SONG

Harry: “FORGOT”? I PURPOSEFULLY BLOCK THAT SONG OUT OF MY MEMORY MAN

Richard: oh god what have I started with creating this gc

Lydia: clearly this is a Pandora’s box of chaos you’ve created and opened, Rich

Richard: yeah…….whoops…

~hours later~

Astrid: weird question but raise a digital hand if your 🏳️‍🌈 (no pressure to answer I just want info for a project)

Harry: me!!

Bob: does bi count?

Astrid: yes it does

Bob: cool

Wolf: *slowly raises hand*

Astrid: FR? No offence but I would NOT have guessed that

Wolf: no one ever does 🤫

Argentina: OO OO OO ME!!!

Argentina: wait- can I add my girlfriend to the gc?

Astrid: YESS DO IT

Argentina: okay!!!

Argentina added Delores to the groupchat

Wolf: WAIT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS DELORES??? THE SOULSUCKER?!

Argentina: yeahhhh 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Delores: hello…? What’s this?

Astrid: a groupchat!

Delores: I’m not sure what that is, but alright?

Bob: ………. Argentina why would you do this to me.

Argentina: OMFG I FORGOT BOB IM SO SORRY

Astrid: wait what? What happened? And what’s a “soulsucker”?

Delores: basically a ghost that can kill other ghosts. And that’s what I am

Astrid: but wouldn’t that not work because they’re already DEAD?

Delores: nope.

Bob: Astrid, you learn not to question stuff like this after a while of being dead or knowing someone in the neitherworld. Nothing makes sense here. (Also Delores almost killed me)

Argentina: yet another reason to NOT KILL YOURSELF 😃

Astrid: noted! Wasn’t planning on it, but good motivation! 😃😃

Wolf: god you people are insane.

Delia: agreed.

Lydia: you both say “you people” like you aren’t a part of this family/friend group. Bad news: YOU ARE PART OF THE “YOU PEOPLE”

Delores: I think I’ll like you people a lot.

Lydia: you tried to kill 🪲🧃 so I definitely like you girl.

Delores: 🥰omg you you want his moldy ass double dead too?!

Lydia: he tried to marry me AT 16 YEARS OLD so yeah definitely

Delores: I’m from an era where thats pretty normal, but I’m gonna assume that’s not normal and bad in the future??

Lydia: yeah it’s bad and gross. Also the year is currently 2024 btw

Delores: thank you! Damn I was in those boxes for a long time wasn’t I?

Argentina: yes you were

Wolf: and you were TECHNICALLY supposed to STAY THERE

Delores: my girlfriend has advised me to reply to that with “womp womp”? I’m not sure what that mean but I hope it has its intended affect.

Bob: WOLF JUST KICKED HIS TRASHCAN SO HARD IT MADE A DENT IN THE WALL HOLY SHIT

Bob: update: I have just read the previous texts. Yes Delores it DID have its intended affect! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Delores: oh good!!! 😀

Wolf: NO! NOT GOOD. I don’t like you! Mean lesbian!!!!

Astrid: “MEAN LESBIAN” OMG 😆

Richard: what is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

Richard: omg I jus read the last few texts, that is pretty funny Wolf

Lydia: 😮 🤭 yeah I’m with Rich on this one, that’s pretty funny honestly

Wolf: I hate you all /ns

[thedvilsinthedetails]

Heyyyy…

hey im still figuring out what i wanna be called but for now u can call me Jamie if u want I’m genderfluid as fuck [they/she/he or whatever idegafatp]

some typa aroace spectrum probs grayace & demiromantic also omniromantic - in general I have nothing figured out

so a simp w like a slight preference for men ig but kinda ace most of the time but sometimes very not

neurospicy bitch

writing request status: OPEN FOR MICROFICS RN

I’m a rosekiller loverrr but also a multi shipper so u never know what ur gonna see ig [but probably Rosekiller, Wolfstar, Dorlene, Starchaser maybe some sunkiller if I’m in the mood etc] for the record just bc I don’t ship smth doesn’t mean I support hating it even as a joke [translation: prongsfoot is chill leave them be]

if u don’t like smth, just ignore it, if u send me hate I’ll reply w shitty jokes probs

my dream job is to be an actor [screen actor specifically]

Media I like:

Fav TV stuff: Challengers, Gravity Falls, Cruella, 10 things I hate about you, into the spiderverse

Fav author is @neil-gaiman also that man is my idol so I’ll probs reblog him a shit ton [do u think he’ll like…mind that I tagged him? Sorry if this bothered u Neil!!!] Music [uhhh changes all the time tbh but for rn]: The Neighbourhood, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray [Kid Krow phase rn], Chappell Roan, Renée Rapp, Green day, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA and Hozier

Spider-Man. Fucking love Spider-Man.

One thing to note about me tho: obvi I love recommendations but I find starting literally any new forms of media really fucking daunting for no reason [this is everything: songs, movies, books etc]

e.g. I fucking love spider verse but I still haven’t watched movie 2, same w latest season of young royals, same with even like ONE song alone I find it rlly hard and really scary

so if u give me recommendations and I don’t get back to u about them for ages it’s not bc I forgot or i was ignoring u but bc I find it scary so pls be patient :)

also same w please don’t like assume I’m knowledgeable about like any of the music artists I named earlier bc tbh I don’t rlly listen to artists I listen to songs [im still a fan of a lot of music artists ofc but the artists I listen to ≠ the artists I’m a fan of]

HI! welcome to my crazy blog, I love making friends im not at all scary I promise :D

Btw my inbox is ALWAYS open for spam, ship ramblings [even if it’s not smth I ship], info dropping about ur hyperfixations, venting, questions etc. [the only thing is no illegal ships bc it will be ignored] also sorry pre warning im shit with the inbox chains [‘send this to ten people who…’] so often I won’t answer those sorry, anything else I will make sure to answer but the chains I sometimes just forget about sorryyy

Barty Crouch Jr & James Potter kinnie

got a FAT crush on Evan Rosier [he’s the loml he just doesn’t know it yet] and also a crush on Dorcas Meadowes

I write sometimes:

I fell for you like glitter on stage - rosekiller band au, this was a microfic series on tumblr that I posted on ao3 for convenience [words: 4548] [this is my fav thing I’ve ever written lol]

we are all just prisoners here of our own device - Jegulus, a oneshot on ao3 based on the song ‘hotel California’ by the eagles. [Words: 6162]

Oh where do we begin? The rubble or our sins? - ON HIATUS. Roman Empire Jegulus au with side Rosekiller, Wolfstar and Pandalily on ao3 [words: 6141] [currently I don’t want to write Jegulus - the hyperfixation hath faded]

also I’m in a marauders RP as Barty and u shld follow it bc we’re all super cool and funny and amazing and awesome and yeah @bartythebabygorljr

tags you’ll see on my page:

me and my old black biro > writing tag

Im in love with that Rosier boy > [this is a new one] me having a massive crush on Evan Rosier

the most boring soap opera > my life tag

I have an online diary called @miseryoforpheus if ur fascinated by my charming and irresistible personality

[The song at the bottom of my intro post changes all the time depending on how I’m feeling]

THIS BLOG SUPPORTS PALESTINE

THIS BLOG STANDS WITH UKRAINE

THIS BLOG THINKS JK ROWLING HAS A NEGATIVE QUANTITY OF BRAINCELLS

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Nicole's rant: The Venom Problem

Contains spoilers for Venom: The Last Dance.

‼️ This might be a controversial opinion but i’ll say it anyway.

let it be known i’d love to have just straight up 1.5 hours of raw footage of eddie and venom just hanging out doing stupid shit, just let tom hardy and his comedy shine. please. i wouldn’t be criminally offended if rhys ifans & the hippie family joined.

ps: i don't mean to hate anyone liking this movie. to each their own. if you liked it, then that's also fine. this is my opinion and you don't have to agree. i was raised on early marvel (the incredible hulk, blade, elektra, iron man...) so i'd say i can tell a decent superhero story from something utterly mid, if even that.

because… what in the fuck is venom: the last dance (2024)?

madame web (2024) war flashbacks hit hard with this one.

who wrote this? and who said it’s a good idea? WHY and HOW did tom hardy produce this?

COLUMBIA YOU HAD THE RIGHTS TO VENOM FOR 3 MOVIES.

i’m not sure if it’s copyright issues or something, but there’s surely SOME OTHER storyline that you could capture into the movie instead of whatever the last dance is.

not that carnage was any good, but a) woody harleson (we stan a king) and b) it’s not expected for every movie to be 10/10, mishaps happen. it was a fun little experiment and we get it. pop off, sister. atop, it was directed by andy serkis (we love a king).

BUT HOW DID YOU FABRICATE A SECOND CARNAGE?

because oh wait, you didn't. let there be carnage (2021) was so weird and bad it was actually endearing in a sense. it defo embraced the silly side and yannow what? looking back at it, i'll trade it for the last dance without a second thought.

first off: how does this have 81% on rotten? huh? pls give me the deets of your dealer because i need the shit you've taken before viewing it.

why open with a reminder that venom and peter parker ALMOST met in the MCU? why teasing with what could’ve been but WASN’T?

tom hardy doesn’t look like he wants to be there and covering it with having a “perpetual hangover” might be the best fucking bandage anyone came up with.

“i’ll consider going for playing venom again IF i get to fight spider-man” TOM MY BOY TELL THEM.

baron mordo was done dirty, yes, but THE UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS venom did to my boy Chiwetel? my boy looked like he’s forced to be there. 0 chemistry, 0 passion. someone give him a break.

whose idea was to cast Juno Temple? there’s not a single ounce of soul in those eyes. miss girl doesn’t change her facial expression once for the entire movie. at first, i thought they truly casted paralysed actress, which was one points i defended the movie with.

then i learned she’s not???

rhys ifans & alana ubach? 10/10.

every scene inside the laboratory was a mandatory chore.

didn't we forger something? like fucking anne for example???? and you give her what? a single name-drop. fuck off. (i'd yeet too after reading the script i think)

andy serkis dropped by for a guest appearance ig.

mrs. chen. how do i start?

i almost walked out of the theatre on that sequence. that’s my petty personal issue and i’ll admit as much, but WHERE did everyone put their brains? like that sequence doesn’t make any sense.

i mean ofc they can meet in las vegas. ofc, gamble. BUT THE REST?

does the main plot line even make sense? like are venom and eddie super special or can any of the symbionts make the key with their host??? (tbh that might be me zoning off and not the movie’s fault)

the movies’s 4/10 at best. eddie and venom scenes? 10/10. anything else? mandatory chore

at least agatha all along (2024) popped tf off.

[ch1-kasak0]

NO PLEASE I LOVE READING CUPHEAD HCS PLEASE PLEASE I HAVE SOME BRO SHARING IS CARING NEOW BROO PLEASEEEE😭

OH GOD I'M SCARED OKAT I'LL JUST LIST OFF THE ONES AT HBE TOP OF MY HEAD

•his conscience is based kinda like a boat tower thing where there's this big ass building that has a light that changes colour based on his emotions and when he goes into a black out it shines red really bright and there's like black and yellow accents

•most of the beings in his conscience/conscious idk are different vers of him and there's one of him that's a whole ass wendigo

•really likes cats, cats r his fave animal omg

• will wood, MSI and maybe mitski coded idk

•cuddle bug, if he falls asleep in yo arms you r NOT moving🙏

•lowkey bi, screw the wiki he's def kissed some men

•can cook, but can only cook what kettle has taught him, couldn't make a simple fried egg but could cook a while 5* steak and mash no problem and could make the best cakes ever (credits to baroness von bon bon she def taught him💪)

•has probably been fed human before by blackhat and flug

•used to be besties w dementia

•mamas boy🙏

•is the one out of him and mugs that can actually save money somehow even though he's the one who has a gambling addiction

•remember the fight w him and bendy where bends bit his arm? Yeah, that arm is completely numb, occasionally nibbles on it like a stress toy

•would cry if someone gave him a cat on his birthday, especially if it was old asf or disabled in some way, would care for it like his own child

•no idea what happened between him and meg but would also cry if he had to face her again (she would humiliate his ass like the queen she is🎀)

•has had the most questionable convos w Jeremy Fairfax ever

•lowkey would be a small spoon when he's sad

•has really nice nails and actually natural eyeliner, like he looks like he's wearing eyeliner but he isn't he just built that way

•man boobs, had a breast reduction during his heart surgery non-consentually😭

•walks like a model (natural catwalk or whatever but not as dramatic)

•i honestly feel like demitasse wouldn't accept him as her son because of his demon blood :(

•one of his eyes has a yellow spot near his pupil and the other has a pink spot near the edge of his iris (I'm not sure if it's heterochromia or central heterochromia)

•cried so hard he had a panic attack when he woke up after nearly dying during the experiment when he was like 13 and mugs was scared for him :((((

•his pupils expand like a cat when he sees someone he loves or when he eats sugary stuff (cat coded💪💪)

•his nails r claw like, meow ig

•goes limp when ppl touch his hair, like that shit hits different he will melt that's why he hates it when ppl touch his hair

•knows like one dance meg taught him, and just so happens he only knows the woman's role so it's basically useless to him

•Quadratus once told him to look at the stars to guide him (when he had just lost to the devil and was about to leave inkwell isles) and if the stars failed him to turn to the oceans waters and call to quadratus for help (I like to think quadratus can just spawn in any water source but only if u use a certain rune that cup knows)

•lowkey really likes learning about cannibalism and crazy shit like that

��along with wood lillies, some of his fave flowers r black dahlias, roses, lily of the valley, spider lilies, and others🙏🙏

Let me know is there is anymore type of headacmons u wanna know about I have angst, NSFW and probably a lot more idk🙏🙏 holy shit I need to learn how to spell and type slowly😭

[lonelychicago]

tease tidbit tuesday! 🩺🩹

i just wanted to share this snippet from my fic and didn't want to wait untill tomorrow jshsjs

rule: share whatever scene or snippet from your fic that has you excited, ig???

anyway this is from my school nurse eddie and gym teacher buck!

interact with this post if you wanna be tagged when i post the fic

As it turns out, Eddie does see Buck again. He doesn't even have to wait days or a week.

He sees him just an hour later after their first introduction.

"Hey again!"

Eddie looks up to see the man standing on the doorway, looking sheepish but also a little bit freaked out.

"Buck? What are you doing here?"

"Uh… so, funny story! I got bitten by a kid and Bobby told me it was protocol to come here and get it looked at?" Buck pulls a face, looking down at his right arm where Eddie can clearly see teeth marks and the skin slightly red and shiny from saliva. "It isn't bleeding, though, so I'm sure it's fine."

Eddie sighs and stands from his desk, guiding Buck once again to one of the stretchers as he pulls on some clean gloves.

"Still, we should clean and disinfect it." Eddie frowns as he gets the foam soap and some wipes. "You would be surprised how much damage a bite by a kid can cause."

"Oh." Buck frowns down to their hands and Eddie suppresses another sigh.

"How did this even happen? Got the kids hating on you already?" He tries to joke.

"No…" Buck huffs out a laugh. "I was introducing myself to the first graders and one of the kids said he was Spider-man."

Eddie stops cleaning the wound and glances up, raises an amused eyebrow at the man.

"So naturally I told him that was so cool and that I wish I could have his powers too."

"Naturally." Eddie says dryly.

"And next thing I know, the little psycho was biting me!" Buck widens his eyes and it's a little hilarious if Eddie's being honest.

"Still, you must have broken a record or something. Your first day and you've been on the sickbay twice in like, what? An hour? Are you gonna be a frequent flier here? Should I put your name in one of the stretchers?"

"Maybe you should." Buck lifts his chin, a small amused grin making his lips curve upwards. "I've been told I'm prone to getting hurt. Hate to break it to you, Eddie, but I think you're gonna see me very often."

"You know, you shouldn't sound as thrilled as you do about that fact." Eddie shakes his head. "Considering that you would be hurt or in pain or whatever.

"Eh, I found out the school nurse is pretty cool so it could be worse."

tagging (no pressure): @buddierights @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @panbuckley @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @shortsighted-owl @ebdaydreamer @heartshapedvows @prince-buck-diaz @bekkachaos @transbuck @transboybuckley @911onabc @cowboy-buddie @the-likesofus @elvensorceress @barbiediaz @prettyboybuckley @bigfootsmom @911onabc @jesuisici33 @diazblunt @alyxmastershipper @spotsandsocks and anyone else who wants to do it <333

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I had coffee my thoughts are all over the place it's not gonna make sense and I'm probably gonna change my mind about some of the things I said later but here's my ramble.

I'm so mad right now. There's so many things that piss me off with Peter B. I keep thinking about all the mess he keeps pulling throughout the first and the second movie. The fact that he betrayed Miles not once but twice BUT THREE TIMES (typing Miles up in ITSV, not telling him about the Spider Society or that he was an anomaly, CALLING HQ ON HIM BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE HIS FATHER. Technically that's 4 but moving on.)

He refuses to acknowledge Miles as a fellow spider(which is probably why he didn't feel bad about finding Miles was an anomaly now he has a reason to not take Miles seriously.) And he keeps trying to insert himself into a mentor role when he's yet to do a whole lot of mentoring. What also throws me here is how he had the audacity to say the trauma builds character while being a mentor to help guide Miles into becoming Spiderman so Miles' could avoid the mistakes that Peter made.

I WILL NEVER BE OVER THAT CHAIR SCENE IN ITSV. How is it you as a grown man. A grown white man no less took a black teenage boy who you viewed as so much of a liability that you had to tie him up. And I know multiple people have talked about everything that's wrong with this scene but there's still something so haunting about watching him just nonchalantly be tied up kicking and screaming about how he wants to be let go that bothers me so much. And I find it hard to believe that this was just a scene we're supposed to just move on from. Did they do this on purpose? Was this supposed to showcase something about Peter's character that I'm not picking up on? Because I find it so hard to believe that the writers who made sure to explicitly show how Gwen's Peter is Christian because he later turns into a lizard wouldn't understand the implications of this scene.

I also don't think he's a strategic as he thinks he is. What do you think was going to happen when you forcefully tied this boy to a chair? You thought he was going to sit still? Also would you think the boy who's trying to save his father was going to do? Actually listen to your words? Sit back and be like, oh you're right I should just let my father die. (This is me going off my reasoning that he didn't plan out that one scene in ATSV. I think that he thought that because he's Miles' "mentor" he could get through to him in a way others can't. Which pretentious much?) His actions do more harm than good and it just works out for him somehow. (For instance Miles saving them in ITSV because he came late.)

These are my thoughts do with this what you will. All the stars decided to align today ig because I haven't been able to come up with coherent thoughts like this in a minute.

(I really need to rewatch itsv. So if there's anything here that I'm wrong about regarding itsv it's been like 5 years since I've seen it.)

I GET THISS SOOO HARD (I waited until I had coffee to answer this lol)

BUT YESSSSS Because like I can understanding giving Peter the benefit of the doubt, it makes plausible sense for a movie to have a certain amount of wiggle room plot wise.

But with writers who clearly understood punk enough to accurately show it in Hobie's arc, repeatedly put in the work to respect Cockney and Puerto Rican culture, who wrote every one of Hobie's lines with PERCISION - would just overlook the glaring hole in their story that is Peter.

Because we as a viewer are continually told we SHOULD look up to him and we SHOULD trust him - but in doing so they accidentally make him the exact opposite. Like.. It doesn't make sense to me.

The Focus on Jess & The Absence of Peter:

aka GODDAMN I hate Peter B. Parker [yet another rant about 'bad' writing, plotholes, and Peter not showing up for Miles or Gwen.

For example,

Jess is Gwen's mentor, and we see her mentor style is extremely different from Peter's and that's suppose to be a contrasting dynamic between them and the relationship between Miles and Peter. Okay, makes sense.

But by NOT having Peter be Gwen's mentor, the writers are implying that he didn't step up as an emotional mentor when all this given - HE SHOULD. Because he's the only adult that she knows, and she a freshly homeless teen who needs to be around people she trusts, rather than working at a society with an auditorium of adults.

But by trying to show off how much we should judge Jess, the writers have inadvertently given us a Peter who just..didn't take responsibility. That's what they're implying - that Hobie and Jess were the ones who came to get aid. And we're suppose to look the other way. I... can't do that, sir.

"Look at how mean Jess is, why not blame her-" Jess is doing her job. Where's the adult she actually knows and trusts. Can we get some dialogue about what he did for her? Or did he just do nothing?

Did they just forget to include that, or did Peter just forget to help?

For me, that's two points in the bucket. Not housing Gwen, and not being her mentor. He could've done one, the other or both.

But because he didn't, we're left asking "What WAS he doing in the Society?"

Missions, I assume. Cause he wasn't mentoring her, so he must have been off putting in legit work for Miguel, I assume.

If we're looking at the characters as full-rounded - which I would hope they are considering the depth of Gwen, Miles and Hobie, it's not a large jump to ask 'How involved was Peter in Gwen's time at the Society? Why is he not her mentor, or why is she not living with him?"

Gwen..should be staying with him. If you're an adult who knows a teen and they become homeless, and it is within your means - yeah, I do think it's a moral obligation to open your home to them, at least temporarily. If you care about them. But that aside, let's extend the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Gwen didn't want to see him.

But then the ratting Miles out thing. This, I can't get around-

Some may say that it was simply for plot development and that Lyla spoke suddenly as a mistake on her part.

And I gotta call bullshit.

Firstly, because this is the same movie where we're shown Hobie stealing parts prior to learning what the parts are for. The same film that literally animated a fight accurately to Bushwick down to the very street. Let's cut it some slack here.

And moreso - I could understand the justification that it was a mistake on Lyla's part.

If Lyla was human. She's not.

She's an AI, and a very sophisticated one at that. Lyla runs on protocol, because that's AI's do. She's made to do things the way that is mathematically most effective, based on her analysis and her code.

It's easy to see Lyla as just an avatar, and a comedic one at that - but Lyla is literally one of - if not the - smartest 'person' in the multiverse. She's the only one who can track Spot in real time. If Jess and Miguel need aid on a mission or with Spot, they call Lyla. And she's handled every Society mission prior to the chase.

Her speaking out of turn suddenly and giving Peter away is an understandable plot mistake, if she was subjected to human mistakes.

So far, Lyla isn't. It doesn't make sense, based on what Lyla is.

I think Lyla would know better than to give Peter away suddenly by detecting Miles' presence and still speaking out loud.

A lot ask 'What motive does Peter have for ratting Miles out?', but we also should also ask "What motive does Lyla have for ratting herself out?'

It's her goal to find Miles no matter what. She doesn't care, she kinda can't - she's an AI. She just has to find him and send Miles' location to Miguel. Her objective.

So her locating Peter without his knowledge and then giving herself away to him doesn't make sense - especially if Lyla knew Miles was that close, from a human standpoint and definitely from the standpoint of the most sophisticated AI in existence.

So I was under the assumption that - like you mentioned now, that before when he gets Miles alone, he may genuinely be trying to convince him still, but by the time they get into that space, I think that's around the time that it becomes a 'Okay, let's just get Miles back to HQ and talk about this' situation.

He genuinely ratted Miles out. In my eyes.

Because at this point, Miguel hasn't assaulted Miles. That comes later. So realistically speaking, his goal was probably to calm Miles down, and get him back to HQ however he could, and talk to him there.

Peter could've helped WAYYYY earlier.

People give Peter credit like 'Oh but he came over to Miles' side at the end-'

NO. YOU DO NOT GET A COOKIE.

Peter could've helped SO much earlier, and if anything, he was THE ONLY ONE in a position of helping.

Gwen can't do anything, like they physically restrain her when she tries to. And there's no point after they come to HQ that Gwen has the chance to turn around and help Peter.

Gwen doesn't get that chance. Peter DOES.

Had Peter helped Miles HERE, IMMEDIATELY, Miles would've gotten away without being assaulted by Peter.

If Peter had turned around and changed course in this moment, Miles would have been better off.

Fuck Peter B. Fuckkkkk hiiiimmmmm. NAWWWWWW

If Peter had let him go here, or helped him escape - Miles wouldn't have been taking hits up on that train. That's crazzzy.

But he wasn't trying to help Miles escape. If he wanted to, he would've. He could've just said "Matter of fact Miles, I think setting the WHOLE Society on you is a bizarre move and you should probably get out of here until Miguel can calm down and I can talk to him."

But he was like 'Nah, hold my baby. Matter of fact lemme tell you story in this pivotal moment when you're actively in danger. Here, look at me. What do you mean - I'm not stalling? I didn't rat him out on purpose.

Like either you did. And even if you didn't you didn't help him when you were literally the only person in the universe who could. In fact, he got away slower because of you. Lovely.

Peter is a grown man. He's not an idiot.

He knows Miles is in active danger. Why would an adult turn the conversation in that direction - about his baby - KNOWING Miles has no time.

As soon as Miles got his hands on MayDay, Peter is trying to change the conversation. Suddenly he's joking and laughing.

Even though Miles is freaking out. Why is Peter joking? He knows this isn't a joking situation. But here he is wasting Miles time, either accidentally or intentionally.

Because that'd be some good ass stalling.

There was nothing stopping Peter from helping him leave. But Peter was still on The Society's side, so he didn't. If he was on Miles' side, he would've helped him. He should've, but he was still for Miguel, because at this point Miguel hadn't assaulted Peter yet.

Congrats, Peter. Big L. Humbling Reality Spider-man everyone.

Like combine all this. AND THEN THE SCENE IN ITSV.

LITERALLY AND PHYSICALLY PETER IS ALWAYS HOLDING MILES BACK.

You cannot expect me to believe that the writers of a movie I can write 10k+ words about, just so happened to leave these two glaring plot holes for ONE character.

That I'm just suppose to ignore that Peter restrained Miles, a black boy, in ITSV. That he betrayed Miles for months, wasn't very active in Gwen's time at the Society, and he actively hinders Miles escape - if not actively ratting him out.

It baffles my mind.

It doesn't make sense, that these writers can write Hobie, Jessica, Miguel, Officer Stacy, Rio, and Jeff as fully rounded, well-thought characters. But for some reason, when it comes SPECIFICALLY to Peter B. - they just forget how to write. They just stop thinking about him the second they don't look at him.

IN BOTH MOVIES?

I don't buy it.

To have every other character be thoroughly thought through but have one of, if not these most iconic character full of plot holes...

I think the likely answer is they wrote him that way on purpose and he's just a bad person.

I'm sorry, and I'm laughing while writing this but like.

Either Peter is the ONE singular character who has a series of emotional plotholes - or he's just a bad mentor. It's one or the other. And it's open to interpretation.

But I wanna cut the writers some slack and say, No - they thought it through. And No, Lyla did not just randomly speak out of turn, he contacted her first off-screen before she replied to him.

And by waiting till the very end to come around, waiting until the person who looks up to you is deeply wounded to finally turn around - that's the same arc Officer Stacy goes through.

And we're not supposed to clap for him. It's lovely, but he doesn't get an award. And neither does Peter, not at all.

Maybe if had helped Miles escape in that moment. Maybe if he was Gwen's mentor or he housed her.

But as far as we know he spent those months of Gwen in the Society doing fuck all. We've seen no sign of his contribution anywhere.

And in a story about mentorship, that says something.

Anyway. This is long. Again fiosfgihrgirturetuier I'm SORRY

Once again, Fuck Peter B. All my Hobies hate Peter B. (not a typo)

He's worse than Jess.

And he's not worse than Miguel but I like Miguel more and it's not because of the ass that's just a bonus Miguel is cool (but also very wrong. but like personality wise we're cool).

Ummm I feel like I got off track here. Oh well!!

Damn he be doing Miles dirty. SMH

Bye.