#species dysphoria warning

[cyarikaskywalker]

the dragon roars ! | theriomythic + multiself ramblings . read if you’d like

everything feels wrong . i don’t have claws or a tail or horns or a snout or wings or fins or fur or feathers or sharp teeth or scales or paws .

i can feel it all there . i feel the weight of my horns on my head , my wings on my shoulders , my tail connected to my spine , my snout ‘ s nostrils flaring , my claws flexing as i type this out .

but it’s not real

. i can move my tail and wings and claws , but they’re not there . none of it is . my teeth are dull and flat , my nails aren’t sharp or long , my shoulders only carry my arms and not my wings as well , my tailbone has no tail connected to it , my nose is short and round , and i don’t have any scales or fur or feathers to cover my skin .

i cannot roar or growl or trill . when i try it doesn’t sound right . i sound too human .

and human is something i am not , never will be , and never have been .

i can’t fly or easily run on all fours , i can’t swim using just my tail , i can’t breathe fire , i can’t do anything my draconic selves can .

i am a dragon , but i do not look the part .

sometimes i wish i was just a human . an average human . no species dysphoria , no gender dysphoria , one single self , none of what i experience .

yes , my non - humanity has made me happier at times . being able to accept it and embrace it , that is . but i do encounter moments like these very often .

i can’t fully describe what it feels like . [ the way i feel right now ]

i feel upsettingly human ..

[unetherian]

List of gear ideas because masks and tails are not the only ones that exist

[ PT : List of gear ideas because masks and tails aren't the only ones that exist]

Hi ! Here is a list of all the gears I know and can imagine, I will extend the list as my ideas come!

I mostly know gears for therians, so I apologize to those who don't recognize themselves in the list.

If you are looking for gift ideas for a therian friend, if you want to make yourself a new discreet gear to not attract attention, or on the contrary you are trying to find an original gear to express yourself freely in public, I recommend this list!

Happy reading!

Gears that can be worn :

⚝Mask

A classic: I'm talking about the masks that we see everywhere on YouTube shorts and TikTok. Simple and effective. Plus it's a beautiful art, it doesn't surprise me that many are fans of creating it!

⚝Muzzle-mask, beak-mask

These masks are much less known, but I dream of having one one day! It is a mask that covers the lower part of the face, to make it look like a snout or a beack. Unfortunately there aren't many tutorials (on YouTube anyway)

⚝Fur tails

Another great classic, I would pay good money to have one! It's so... perfect. But be careful! Don't buy tails anywhere! Most of the time they come from very cruel fur farms, so I advise you to watch the videos of Torn (therian territory) or PD on the subject to recognize an ethical or cruel tail.(These channels are on youtube) I swear to you that even dyed or so-called "fake" tails can be real and cruel... Be careful!

You can also make tails out of yarn, there are many tutorials and while it does take a lot of time its so worth it!! The result is often so fluffy! (thanks a lot to @newbornlight who suggested I add these tails to my list!)

⚝Collar

Very effective if you are an alter/nonhuman whose type is domesticated ! And even if you are not, it can symbolize your nonhuman identity stuck/domesticated in a human world. There is a more discreet alternative, if you prefer: chokers! I have one that I made myself with black ribbon and a bracelet clasp. I sometimes add a pendant that looks like a small collar tag !

⚝muzzle

May have the same meaning as collar. It can be a good alternative to muzzle-masks which are quite rare.

⚝Fake ears

So cool and often so realistic...

⚝Gloves/mittens

This can make your human paw look like your type's paw! But be careful when you want to buy some, some are not of such good quality so the glue can come off with use (thanks again to @newbornlight who warned me that this could be the case!)

⚝Paw socks

Very comfortable and very euphoric. I like it. (same warning for glue that can coming off)

⚝Shoes

I've seen some amazing digigrade shoes before (to give you an idea of what it looks like, it's a heeled shoe without a heel) including shoes that look like clogs, but there are some for many different species !

I've also seen beings make lines on the white part of their converse to make it look like paws !!!

Some people buy or make shoes with a certain relief on the bottom so that they make tracks resembling the footprints of their type! (thanks to @sillysatyr for adding it to the list :3)

⚝Different shapes of pants

If your type is imposing, you can opt for cargo pants! For theriotypes with long and thin legs, but big hooves/paws, I recommend flared pants! (I think that's what it's called in English)

I have species dysphoria about not being as big and impressive as my theriotype, but since I started wearing cargo pants and other baggy pants, I feel more confident.

⚝Fake horns, fake antlers

Awwww those are so cute

⚝Wings

Attached to the arms for birds, on the back for dragons/insects!

It's one of the most gorgeous types of gears, and I imagine it's very effective.

⚝Contact lenses

To change the color of your eye, the shape of your pupil, etc.

⚝Makeup

I don't know if you can really consider this a gear but put a little eye shadow under the nose, a line in the little hollow that connects the nose to the mouth, and black lipstick on the upper lip can be very euphoric for some! Of course there are many other different makeup looks for all types... And don't forget, makeup is not for girls, it's for the skin✨

⚝Nails (claws)

I really like growing my nails out, cutting them into almond shapes so they look like claws. No need to grow them out a lot, or make them very prickly, do as you like!

You can also use fake nails!

⚝Paper claws

There are a lot of different tutorials on youtube, usually they are in origami, so I hope you like folding paper ^^'

⚝Legs/arms warmers

To feel like you have fur on your arms/legs, to protect myself from the cold. I made some out of wool, crocheted.

⚝Kigurumi !

A very comfortable and cute little costume, I would really like to have one! For those who don't know, it's a kind of very soft one-piece pajamas with a hood. On this hood there are sometimes animal ears, sometimes horns, at the back there is sometimes a tail, etc. there are some for many different species!

⚝Claw ring

Rings that look like claws. This is so cool! I'm going to buy some soon!

⚝Any accessory with a theta delta on it

Of course !

⚝Any accessory that represents your type

Of course too

⚝Pin's

There are some really cool pins on theriantropy, I recommend it.

⚝Mermaid tail

I've seen costumes like this before, I think the cetacean therians and mermaidkin might like it.

⚝Tattoo

Whether it's a temporary or permanent tattoo, it can be a great way to get closer to your type. Having your identity or the symbol of it on your body can be very pleasant! I even saw someone with his type's fur pattern tattooed on his shoulder.

I just want to clarify that if you want to get a permanent tattoo, I advise you to think carefully about the location, the shape, etc. to be sure.

⚝Sweatshirts/hats with animal ears/horns/antlers on them!

It's very "normal-like", and it can be very reassuring to feel it on your head.

⚝Deer antlers (in the form of a headband)

Very cute! (credits to @zombi-teeth who suggested it to me in the comments ;3)

Other gears:

⚝Objects that remind you of your habitat as your type

To recreate the atmosphere of your habitat in your house/room!

⚝Figurine of your type

It's funny to have a minature yourself

⚝Blanket whose texture reminds you of your type's fur

Very comforting

⚝Feathers!

I have a collection of feathers at home, I'm not a bird therian but it gives me a "predatory pleasure" to have a piece of prey as a trophy at home! (Without harming an animal, of course! I pick up these feathers from the ground)

⚝Stickers

I will probably give a tutorial later on how to create your own stickers, I will also make drawings to cut out to transform into stickers.

⚝Drawings, paintings, etc. of your type

Art is a great way to express yourself!

⚝A mineral/crystal that is associated with your type

In many cultures, stones are associated with animals. Some even use them for meditation.

Did you know that amber is prehistoric tree resin that has hardened over time? I think this fun fact will please paleotherians ;3

⚝A book about your type or its habitat

Read up on your own species to learn more about yourself.

⚝A prey of your type in plush form!

To hunt or nibble in we get bored.

⚝An object that diffuses the scent of your type's habitat

It could be an essential oil diffuser, a potpourri, or just anything that smells like the forest, for example.

⚝ A Tamagotchi

It's a small virtual animal/creature that you have to take care of. There are many different characters, you will surely find one of the species of your type ! This little retro item can really please anyone who feels lonely as an animal in human society.

⚝A chewable stim toy

For those who have shifts/instincts about chewing/biting things!

⚝A whistle that reproduces the sounds of your type!

I have already seen some very pretty ones in wood for example, they can also be suitable as decorative objects! (credits again to @zombi-teeth who gave me the idea)

Here are all the ideas I have right now, don't forget I'll add more later, there are sooo many different types of gears!

Have a nice day!

[pressureplus]

sebby x transmasc reader headcanons? i'm feeling self indulgent today >:)

Whoo, Yeah! I'm finally getting to answer this one! I personally have little to no gender at any point in time, and my lovely Co-Star has all of the gender and fluctuates fairly regularly between the shiny genders they've collected. So this is written from the shared trans braincell, gotta support the homies ✨

(Hope you have a wonderful day!)

Sebastian Solace x Transmasc Reader

[Warnings: Transphobia and misgendering (neither one from Sebby) and mentions of Dysphoria]

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜

• Honestly, this fish bastard couldn't care less

• Your gender, job, and species are COMPLETELY irrelevant to him, the ONLY thing he really cares about is whether or not you are going to buy his stuff

• His gender? Shopkeeper. Now give him your data-

• If it's not addressed, you are literally just another man that Urbanshade sent on a suicide mission, he really doesn't care what is or is not in your boxers

• Can't stress enough that he's ONLY supportive when you or someone else brings it up, Sebby never pushes the topic. If you didn't know you told him or that he found out, you'd honestly think he didn't know

• Now, are there ways this becomes relevant to him? No, absolutely not, you are just another guy that's going to buy an expensive flashlight and then die several terrible deaths.

• It's not until one of the other expendables starts to misgender you that he even seems to notice

• "She? I don't particularly see any women in my shop at the moment- If you're sick I'm going to have to ask you to leave so we don't catch whatever nasty thing you have."

• "I think you meant 'Him', as in 'I am going to hand Him my gun and look away when He makes you a stain on my tile'. Do you understand me, expendable?"

• "It's funny hearing someone only packing 3 inches try to decide what is and isn't a man. I think we all know his is bigger than yours is, so if you could shut up about it that would be great."

• Sometimes he's more sassy, sometimes more outwardly aggressive, and occasionally he tells someone off in a way that's a bit more on the side of entertaining, but he does always make a point to stick up for you

• If you need your hair cut, he'll do it. He cuts his own hair and has for the last decade, so he's actually pretty good at it! Better at messy styles, but he'll try a clean one if you really want him to

• "If you die because your hair is in your eyes, I won't get your data. You must understand this is to my own benefit, Y/N."

• Sebastian is... Starting to call you by your name. You're not sure when you stopped being an expendable like everyone else and started being the name you actually chose for yourself, but you've surely become different to him

• Sebastian was born a man, and handles issues regarding your situation completely casually unless it 100% HAS to be verbally brought up, so you are left completely confused by what you did to get closer to him like this

• Was it somewhere between him validating you or defending you? Was it when he sat with you for the first or third time while you were wrestling your disphoria? Was it trust, or maybe pity... It couldn't be pity, right?

• One day you'll find out he's sees himself in you

• He says it like a joke when he starts to talk about how they treat you differently when they don't understand you. Researchers treated him the same way a handful of the other people down here treat you.

• He knows it's not quite the same, but it feels the same for him sometimes. When they call him 'it' instead of he... Sometimes he calls himself an 'it' or a 'thing', too even though he knows he hates that. Do you feel that way when they call you a she? He'll just go ahead and start banning those people for you both, he doesn't like them anyway.

• He isn't comfortable in his own body anymore either. He didn't choose what he is now the same way you didn't choose what you were born as

• Sometimes, his body doesn't fit right, either. He hates that he understands that feeling, but he does...

• He's starting to get comfortable with that familiarity, and with maybe not feeling so alone

• Is it wrong of him to enjoy having found someone he can relate to? If even just a little?

• Sebastian knows it's probably awful of him, but he's making a point to be good to you for it

• It makes himself feel better for a while when you can connect like that so naturally...

• It makes him feel human again.

[ninttendogs]

nonhuman shout outs 🗣

content warnings for sex talk & dysphoria

shout out to nonhumans that dont have species dysphoria

shout out to nonhumans who dont like wearing gear

shout out to nonhumans whos identity overlaps with their gender/sexuality

shout out to nonhumans who do petplay (bonus points if its for species euphoria)

shout out to nonhumans with an uncommon 'type

shout out to nonhumans who dont mind being called human

UR NONHUMANITY IS VALID NO MATTER HOW "NORMAL" UR EXPERIENCE IS 🗣🗣

[lokisprettygirl]

Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read chapter 1 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 2

Summary: Dr. Vis gives you the responsibility of the patient in room 393.

Warning: 18+, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking.

Note : This fic is a bit of a slow burn so don't expect overly heated smut in the second chapter itself.

Species dysphoria, that's what they called it, a feeling of displacement or non-belonging in one's own species and feeling as if you belong to another. Your mother used to talk about one of her patients who felt this way and believed he was a crow - he would make crow sounds, walk and act like one, and even attempted to fly like a crow, which led to him breaking most of his bones.

Upon learning about Daemon's condition, you recognized the similarity to the patient who thought he was a crow, but you also recognized that Daemon was not constantly pretending to be a dragon, he just said that he was one, not just a dragon but a hybrid instead. As you had woken up this morning Mona had informed you that Dr. Vis wanted to meet you which had immediately made you all nervous.

“Good morning Dr. Vis” you mumbled politely so he gestured to you to sit down. He was an intimidating man with brown hair and few wrinkles that came with age of course, eyes always hidden behind those thick glasses, and you had never seen him in anything but the professional suit he would wear and of course the doctor's coat. As the silence made you uncomfortable you began to pick on your nails nervously like you always did in anxious situations.

“The new patient in 393 is not allowed to leave his room for two days, I want you to make sure his meals and medicines are taken care of” he passed you a piece of paper as he spoke so you nodded. The paper contained a breakdown of the patient's diet plan and a list of medications.

“Anything else sir?” You asked him so he gave you a smile,

“Don't be fooled by his charm, he's insane but very sharp minded, he can read weaknesses and he will try to manipulate you”

You felt slightly offended at his words, just because he was a semi good looking man that didn't mean you were going to salivate after him like Shyla and others.

“Don't worry sir, I don't get overly involved with patients”

He gave you another smile but it only made you more uncomfortable.

“That's why I'm giving you this responsibility, get going now”

You got up and proceeded to step out of his office, there was always a shortage of staff in the center, the main reasons being that it was located right in between the dense woods where it wasn't really possible for everyone to spend hours commuting back and forth everyday, and not everyone was willing to stay here 24/7, only single people and those desperate for a job did so. People like you.

During Lunch time you grabbed the plate for Daemon and placed it on a tray as you made your way to room 393, you knocked on his door twice before you entered yourself.

It was dark in there as the blinds were off so you placed the cart on the side and were about to open the blinds when you heard his distinct voice.

“Don't do it” his voice came out all groggy so you hummed in response and turned on the bedside lamp instead to not irritate him further.

“You need to eat before your medication” you mumbled softly as you neared the bed, he was laying on his front with his head squished into the pillow, as usual he didn't have a shirt on. You couldn't help but stare at the large, diagonal scars that stretched across his back, which looked like they'd been inflicted by a large object. Despite the urge to touch them, you refrained but you wondered how he had gotten them.

“Daemon?” You called out his name again so he rose from the bed and stepped towards the bathroom, letting out a low moan of discomfort. You had to turn around quickly because as the sheets dropped his naked sculpted behind came into your view. His room was also freezing cold so you wondered how Dr. Vis had allowed him this privilege in this cold weather.

As Daemon stepped out of the bathroom he smirked as he saw you standing with your back against the bathroom. You had your usual work uniform on, a light brown colored dress with a cardigan on top.

“Never seen a man naked before?” He asked as he pulled his pants up you so you rolled your eyes, that was none of his business even if you hadn't.

“Don't speak to me like that, I'm not your servant” you warned him as you turned around hoping that you'd not see him naked again.

“Mmmmmhhhmmm of course you're the doctor's servant aren't you? That is why you are here, attempting to impress him with a job well done so perhaps he'd pity fuck you finally and you'd get a promotion?” He spoke with that annoying smirk on his face but his eyes softened as you teared up, you had never been spoken to this way, people mostly respected you here, patients and staff alike.

“Finish your food, I'll be back in half an hour” you told him sternly as you walked past him but your breath hitched as he grabbed your upper arm.

“Stay, I'm sorry, I don't want to be alone” the tone of his voice had changed suddenly so you sighed,

“Will you behave?” You asked him sternly so he nodded before he sat down on the bed so you passed him the plate of food you had brought for him.

“I'm not your enemy alright, i have been assigned to take care of you-” before you could even finish your sentence he cut you off and looked you in the eye,

“Take care of me? Pretty girl you have no clue what you'd have to do for me if you really want to take care of me” he mumbled as he shoved a piece of steak into his mouth. You never had an urge to slap a patient until now.

“You're doing it again”

“I'm jesting..I'm bored senseless,”

“Well you must have pissed them off to deserve the confinement, otherwise you'd have been out there doing fun activities with other patients” you retorted so he opened his mouth and smirked again,

“Does the fun involve orgies?”

Taking a deep sigh you didn't respond this time as you didn't want to encourage him. When he was done eating you made sure he had ingested his medicines before you left him alone for good.

After two days of isolation, Dr. Vis had granted Daemon the brief privilege to take a walk outside. You were entrusted with accompanying him throughout the premises. Despite the fact that he was handcuffed, you couldn't help but feel nervous about being alone with him, given his unpredictable nature.

As the two of you reached the conclusion of the walking path, Daemon chose to settle on a grassy patch, he seemed calm for once so you didn't want to disturb him.

“Sit with me y/n” he mumbled softly so you nodded and sat down next to him to offer him some company. Isolation wasn't pleasant.

“What's a lady like you doing around here? Does the constant exposure to such madness not drive you mad as well?” he asked you with a touch of curiosity so you turned to look at him.

“First of all What do you mean a lady like me?” You asked him so he made eye contact with you before he smiled like a cheshire cat.

“You're too pretty to be cleaning up after crazies” your face felt warm as he said that, you didn't appreciate him calling the fellow patients crazy but his compliment almost sounded genuine and you weren't used to being complimented this way, it also sucked that he was kind of sort of beautiful, you couldn't help but stare at his sharp features, perhaps those strange features contributed into making him believe that he was an otherworldly creature that don't even exist..

“What's wrong with helping people? Besides they're not crazy…most of them are just sick and traumatized from their past, there's a reason behind every ailment” you emphasized so he let out the sort of smile that you could hear.

“How old are you?” He asked you so you shrugged in response.

“30..close to 31” you mumbled softly and you could tell he was surprised by the knowledge.

“You don't look a day older than twenty five darling”

“Well there's not much difference between 25 and 30.. how old are you?”

“Why would you want to know?”

He asked you and you almost felt embarrassed, now you could see what Dr. Vis meant when he said that Daemon was a charming man.

“I'm just countering your questions buddy”

He chuckled as you said that.

“I'm thirty four sweetheart”

“Mhhhm and since when you feel that you're a uhhh…a dragon?”

The look on his face changed as you brought it up , he turned his whole body towards you and scooted closer as he looked at you intently.

“Don't mock me frail little thing, it would do you no good” he hissed his words, perhaps in an attempt to intimidate you but he was handcuffed. What's the worst he could do? And why did you want to figure it out so badly?

“I was just asking you a genuine question”

“Did Vis ask you to shove your nose into my personal business?” he questioned so you shook your head immediately.

“Noo i am curious”

“Ohhh I know you're curious”

He tilted his head and pressed his nose against your neck to sniff you again, this time in broad daylight, if someone was to see you like this it wouldn't go down well.

“You didn't answer my question”

You mumbled gently so he dragged his nose over the vein on your neck before he stepped away, that's when you were able to let out the breath you had been holding in.

“For as long as I could remember, I knew what I was”

His voice was deep as he whispered, pupils dilated now as if he was drunk or high on something all of a sudden.

“Why do you sniff me like this?” you asked him, curiosity apparent in your tone.

“To read, to assess, to judge”

“What are you assessing?”

“Assessing whether you are as sweet on the inside as you smell and look”

“Alright…umm we need to get back now” you stood up suddenly so he snickered as if he was proud of himself.

You knew you had to maintain some professional distance from him if he was going to sniff you out of nowhere.

And you knew you had to deny the fact that it made you feel so warm and tingly sudden whenever he was so close to you.

Perhaps you had an ailment of your own because you had never really felt a genuine sexual attraction towards a man all your life, the only crush towards the opposite sex you remember having as a child was on this actor from the movies, Paul Newman. Men didn't attract you, nor did women, you loved the idea of romance and love but you had never experienced it, you never found yourself thinking or dreaming about anyone constantly. It made you yearn for that sort of connection but you were never able to find it in a man. You had learned to accept it as it was.

But something changed that night, as you laid down on your bed you found yourself thinking about him, his hazel eyes that you could have sworn were glowing under the sunlight, his silver hair longing to be touched.

“Fucking stop it..he's sick ..he's sick…he's a patient, you're responsible for him in a way so stop indulging him” you mumbled in your head over and over again until you were drifted into sleep.

But the sleep didn't bring you any relief, it worsened it instead. You saw him in your dream, you saw yourself laying on the same patch of grass and he was on top of you all naked, as you pressed your head up you realized you didn't have any clothes on either, your legs were secured around his slender waist, his hair falling on your face so you tucked them behind his ear, that's when he lifted his head up to look at you.

He licked your lips with his tongue, before he kissed you and it was as if you could feel his touch all over you, he was burning like a fire but you didn't feel uncomfortable, it calmed you instead. The wet grass beneath your flesh, the warmth of his body all around you, the smell of the forest, everything intoxicated you.

He then let out a growl as his hips moved slowly against yours,

“Daemon–” you couldn't help but moan his name, your fingers clutched onto the strands of grass so he grabbed your hands and placed them over your head,

“You're mine you know that right? I have got my eyes on you and I'm not leaving without you, the moment I saw you i knew you belonged to me, a part of my soul that I have been missing”

He mumbled between his staggering breaths and all you could do was whine and whimper in response, your arms wrapped around his upper back and then you felt something.

Something protruding out of his back, wings, you felt the wings….

That's when you were awakened by the loud sound of your alarm, drenched in your own sweat, breathing was faster as if you had raced away from something, and worst of all your panties were soaked.

“What the fuck…the fuck�� you groaned as you got out of the bed.

The dream, it was so vivid, it felt so real. It felt like a memory you have never lived.

That afternoon you were asked to grab his meal and leave it outside of his room but that bothered you. Why wasn't he present in the cafeteria with other patients? Had he done something to warrant confinement again?

As his plate was made you placed it on a cart along with a glass of water and made way to his room..

You were instructed to leave the food outside his room with a knock but you felt restless. Why weren't you allowed to see him?

After wrestling with your thoughts for a moment you decided to enter instead, there was no one around the hallway and if you were caught you'd simply tell them that you only went inside to check up on him because he hadn't come out for his food in a while.

As you stepped inside his room you found him on the floor instead of the bed so you quickly closed the door behind you,

“Daemon.. hey” you crouched down to check up on him as he wasn't conscious and immediately checked his pulse for signs of life. Upon confirming that he was indeed breathing, you proceeded to look around for signs of injury or drug overdose, but found nothing out of the ordinary. Desperate to awaken him, you snatched the glass of water and sprinkled the droplets over his face.

And it worked, you saw him moving his eyes before he opened them up slowly,

“Heyyyy ..oh thank God, are you okay” you asked him worriedly so he sat up slowly. He was still in his uniform as he had returned from his therapy session with Dr. Vis.

“What happened?” He asked you so you looked at him worriedly.

“You were unconscious..I don't know for how long” he placed his hand over his head and that's when he cursed loudly.

“The bastard zapped me”

“What?” You asked him confused so he groaned as he tried to stand up on his own but his body felt weak so you offered your support and that's when it clicked what he had meant.

“He used a stun gun on you?” You asked him as you helped him sit down on the bed.

“Leave me alone” he mumbled as he placed his head down into his palms so you sighed and got up,

“Will you eat?” You asked him and perhaps it was the gentle tone of your voice but as he looked up at you, his eyes were teary

“Don't go…don't leave me alone”

The sad murmur of his voice made you feel really awful for him, the constant mood swings, the way he seemed so broken bothered you alot.

“I can't stay, I was asked to leave your food outside, I'm already breaking my code”

You said to him so he grabbed your hand, his thumb ran over your fingernails, they were red and flamed from the recent biting and picking and you felt a little embarrassed by them, not to mention his touch was making you feel weak at the same time.

“Why did he use a stun gun?” You asked as you crouched down on your knees and placed your palm on his shoulder to comfort him.

“So I'd accept that I'm not a dragon, that I'm just an ordinary man like him.. like all of them”

He mumbled somberly, his words were broken in pieces and it made your own eyes tear up “I am not crazy y/n”

“I know, you just need help-”

“I don't need help, I need to be understood”

“I..” you were at a loss for words as he said that, you wanted to comfort him but you didn't want to lie to him.

“Understood?”

“I know what I am..I'm not delusional or whatever they're trying to make me believe”

“Okay..then why did you agree to come here?”

He went quiet as you questioned him. This wasn't an asylum where people were forced against their will, it was a wellness center. If he didn't want to get better then why did he come here?

“I made a mistake out there .. I didn't know.. couldn't control my powers–they come and go in waves..i have no control..no–” the moment he saw the perplexed look on your face he stopped his rambling, he was saying too much too soon, you weren't going to believe him, nobody believed him “Just go ..I'm done talking”

You nodded as he said that as you didn't want him to get upset or mad again but before leaving you made sure that he was fed.

You felt conflicted about him, he didn't seem dangerous, sure he had his moments of aggression but so did several other patients, why was he being treated so harshly by Dr. Vis?

You couldn't stop thinking about him even when your shift had ended. Sick people were capable of convincing you that they were not sick at all, it wasn't their fault, that's just how their brain operated but Daemon seemed different, you couldn't put your finger on it but he seemed different from the rest of the patients.

That week you didn't see much of him because you weren't really allowed to, Dr. Lisa had informed all the members of the staff that Dr. Vis didn't want anyone interacting with Daemon due to his aggressive and unstable temperament.

Such restrictions only made you want to seek him out further, your mother always told you that patients flourished when they were allowed to be free and form human connections with their caregivers and fellow mates so why was Daemon being treated so differently? That night on the way to the terrace you knocked on his door twice before you climbed the stairs, as you reached up there you didn't lock the door this time from the inside,

“And here I was thinking you were a stickler about this job”

You heard his voice so you smiled and turned around, you had your coat on and your arms crossed together due to the cold but he was without a shirt again. Why didn't he feel cold? Or was he good at pretending he wasn't affected in the slightest?

“I am not going to offer you a cigarette if that's why you came here” you told him so he walked closer to you.

“Tchhh that's a bummer but this ain't too bad either”

He mumbled as he walked past you and leaned against the ledge to look at you intently. What was he thinking you thought, perhaps the fact that you had invited him upstairs when you had no obligation or rights to do so.

“You're cold” he mumbled softly so you chuckled in response

“It's cold out here”

“Mmmhm come here” he tilted his head as he spoke and it made you nervous, the look on his face sent shivers down your spine. You had to remind yourself of your situations to snap back to reality.

“So they will be lifting the restrictions tomorrow..you must be doing well in the therapy” you switched the conversation so he rolled his eyes in response,

“I'm doing what he want me to do”

“And why is that?”

“I want my freedom” he mumbled so you nodded but what he said next made your heart skip a beat “and i miss a certain lady's presence in my room and her forcing me to fucking eat all the time”

You couldn't help but smile as he finished his words.

“Do you feel better?” you asked him in the hope that he won't notice the warmth his words had brought.

“I do now”

Was he flirting with you? You couldn't really tell, you had no idea what he was planning in his head.

“Okay we should go back now–” you mumbled softly so he followed you as you walked side by side, being as careful as you could be.

As his room arrived you whispered a soft good night so he grabbed your hand in his own, his eyes then raked over your fingernails before he looked at you intently

"Next time you're anxious you can use my flesh to pick on, don't ruin yourself"

And then he went in without causing a scene. You hadn't realized all day that you had been smiling constantly these days for some reason. Perhaps you had a crush on him, if this is what a crush on a real man felt like. It was wrong, completely wrong but a crush was just that, a crush. You'd get over it, you were confident about that.

However the next morning you were greeted with an unexpected turn of events as you arrived at the staff area. Mona informed you that Shyla was let go that morning so you'd have to take up double shifts for a few days until the new member was hired,

“Wait ..what happened?” You asked her worriedly so Mona's expression turned serious as she glanced around, ensuring no one was in earshot before stepping closer to you.

“She was caught fooling around with the dragon boy, such a stupid girl”

😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

[interstellarsystem]

The Anatomy of: A Skarmory

So, we've decided we're going to start a little "series" of posts about our alterhuman identities. Specifically aimed to be about the anatomy/life cycle/biology of species that don't exist on this Earth but do exist in our system (such as Pokemon, other fictional species, mythical beings or anything else). Earthly beings may also make their own entries to explain their experiences--there isn't going to be a strict "who can" vs "who can't" rule--the point is to talk about our experiences and our species more. 

Anyhow, onto the actual post!

Skarmory, the Armor Bird Pokemon--that's me! A bird made of metal, with wings as sharp as blades. But how does all of that work, exactly? Well... let's get into it!

Word count: 4,081 Warnings: Discussion of species dysphoria, discussion of animal (pokemon) harm, discussion of hunting pokemon. Archive: On our website!

Basic Anatomy:

Information about a skarmory's body! Some of these are words I've made or assigned to describe specific parts, as there's either no canon alternative or no this-world alternative.

Beak: The structure on a skarmory's face, similar to a bird beak but made of metal. It has a few teeth on the bottom jaw, while there are none on the top jaw.

Crest: The pointed blade/sail atop a skarmory's head.

Wings: The parts of a skarmory that allow it to fly--consists of roughly 4 metallic bladelike feathers (or wingblades).

Wingblades: Referring to an individual feather of a skarmory's wings, it usually has 4 per wing. These are sharp as knives. Each wingblade can be moved individually!

Armor: The hardened, metallic feathers/skin that cover a skarmory's body.

Plates: The individual metallic sheets of armor that cover a skarmory's body.

Legplates/neckplates/etc: Referring to a specific grouping of plates on a part of a skarmory.

Talons: A skarmory's feet. On each foot, it has 2 toes facing forward, and one facing backward--each tipped with a sharp claw.

Tailblade/Rudder: The tail of a skarmory, generally important for changing direction during flight. It is made out of metal, much like wingblades.

QNA:

Now, we move onto some general questions and answers about skarmory as a species.

1. What does a skarmory eat?

Like a lot of pokemon, skarmory are omnivorous. They'll eat berries, fruits, seeds, and a variety of prey. Due to our fast flying capabilities, we'd often swoop down at high speeds and snatch other smaller pokemon up from the ground.

Skarmory are also known to eat stones from certain locations, and we had gathering points where the stones and cliffs were rich in minerals that promoted healthy growth of our armor. We'd meet there, and drill at the rocks with our beaks until they were bite-sized. This possibly also helped with the digestive process, but I'm not familiar with our inner biology.

2. How does a skarmory become metallic?

As stated in some of the pokedex entries, skarmory chicks are raised in harsh conditions. Oftentimes, we'd nest in thorny bushes, brambles, sharp and rocky cliff-faces or anything similar. This would provide protection from outside predator pokemon, but also serve as our first line of training and building of our body's defenses.

Our skin and feathers have a property that makes them heal stronger after becoming damaged. Each time we'd get scratched, our body would heal it stronger than before. This meant that over time, feathers became scales attached to our skin, which became plates of armor that cover our bodies. This is supplemented by parents bringing their chicks small scraps of metal or mineral-rich stones to eat.

3. How does it move if it's made of metal?

There's gaps between our plates that enable us to move around still--much like the neck and leg plates you can see on the official artwork above! Though, skarmory from where I come from tend to have more that are visible, mainly around joints. They just look like little creases!

It really is like a suit of armor, just attached to your body. It's surprisingly moveable! Moving around normally as a chick while your feathers are hardening forms creases in the development of the armor, so when it's fully formed, it's unlikely that you'll have any restricted movement. The plates form around your movement, so if you move at all as a chick, the plates get molded to the shape of your body and how far your joints allow you to move.

So... theoretically, if a skarmory never ever moved, then its plates wouldn't be shaped to its body and it would be stuck, but I've never heard of that happening.

4. If a skarmory is made of metal, doesn't it rust?

Well... Yes, actually! Partially, at least. You won't see a skarmory rust all the way through, as we're not wholly made of metal. But our armor can and will rust if it's exposed to too much water and not able to dry properly. We tend to avoid the rain and hide wherever we can from it--usually in caves, tree hollows or somewhere similar. Particularly rainy seasons can spell disaster for us as a species, and oftentimes we do end up forced to share caves while we wait for our territories to stop being so watery.

Due to our armor often shedding its plates, rust usually isn't a permanent problem and can be shed off most of the time. Usually, it might make us itchy or sore due to crumbling bits getting stuck between plates, but that's the worst of it. However, rust can make it very hard for a skarmory to move properly if it's particularly bad, or gets in the joints between plates. This isn't too common due to how much we avoid water, but it can cause major issues if we do end up having our movement restricted. Particularly bad rust that's gotten into the plate joints can even begin to rust the new armor that grows underneath, if you're not careful. Most of us tend to avoid moisture both from water and humid air wherever possible due to the risks associated with it.

To attempt to negate this, sometimes we sunbathe after it's rained. This is usually fine to do, though on particularly hot days, it's incredibly easy to overheat. Sunbathing is best done close to a shady, dry spot you can hide in afterwards. Another method to remove as much water as possible is to fly/glide at top-speed or sit in very windy areas, basically like using a blow-dryer.

5. Does a skarmory overheat easily?

It depends on the situation, but overheating is definitely a possibility. Skarmory armor might defend us from slashing claws and biting teeth, but it's incredibly susceptible to heat--be it from fire types or from the sun itself. Our armor is generally lighter coloured, but skarmory with darker armour have a harder time staying cool.

On most days, overheating from the sun is avoidable! In the warmer months however, a skarmory may need to slip away into a cave or inbetween some foliage to escape the heat. We become more active around dawn and dusk during the middle of spring toward the end of summer in order to escape the hottest hours of the day, and focus most of our hunting at those times.

Due to the rusting problem, we don't tend to use water to cool down unless absolutely necessary. You'd have to be extremely overheated by staying in the sun too long, or under attack from fire-type moves to even consider water, though.

6. Does a skarmory have feeling in its armor?

No, a skarmory doesn't have feeling in its armor plates. However, we can feel when a plate is pressed down on! The plates are attached to our skin, so pressing on them pushes our skin too, and that's what we feel. To a skarmory, touching it feels like if you were to touch the top of your fingernail--you can't feel the surface, but you can feel the nail pressing on your actual skin below.

Our sense of touch on our body is likely duller than most other pokemon. The plates on our talons (aside from our claws) are thinner than in most places on our body, though--and those are our main means of touching and investigating things aside from our beak. The armour is still tough, but the plating is thin enough that we're able to sense things a lot better with them. Therefore, we can be more careful with what we're doing, such as holding a delicate berry, or knowing that prey we're holding is wriggling to try and escape.

We don't have feeling in most of our wingblades, most of our tailblade, or the tip of our crest, however. These parts are mostly hollow metal and are far enough away from the rest of our body that they need to be touched with a lot of pressure or from specific angles to be felt.

7. What if a skarmory's armor gets damaged or dented in a fight?

Short answer? A skarmory just.. sheds! Every so often, new armor will grow through and push the outer layer off, like someone losing a tooth as they grow. Plates will just fall off, and underneath there's new armor ready to go. This includes our wingblades! Normally, we shed one wingblade from each wing symmetrically to enable us to still fly--like a this-world bird shedding their feathers! This helps us to keep in the sky while growing our new wingblades.

Sometimes, they take a little while to fully grow back in, so we may be grounded for a week or two in some cases--but these are usually caused by injury, in which a skarmory has lost all of its wingblades at once or has lost multiple from one wing, rendering it off-balance and unable to fly. This is usually from severe damage of some sort and not a regular biological process.

8. How does a skarmory fly so fast?

Like birds of this world, our bones are hollow! Also, as stated in the pokedex entries, our wingblades are also mostly hollow too! We're able to tuck our legs in to create a more streamlined shape, and our facial structure mostly does a lot of that work for us.

Though, to reach top speeds, we normally dive. We'll exert a bit of our energy flying upward, and then soar around using the wind to our advantage. Minimal flapping, and plenty of time to survey the area without tiring out. Then, the skarmory will spot something it wants (prey, another food source, something invading its territory), and it'll dive almost head-first toward the ground, but curve to move more parallel to the ground as it gets closer. Almost like the shape of a really tall slide! Those swoops are where we reach real, true speed.

Doing this, we can maintain that speed gliding parallel to the ground for quite a distance if we dive from high enough. We just hold our wings straight out and glide like a paper plane. If a skarmory needs to glide for longer without breaking the momentum, a slight tilt of the wing-blades will change its direction to going slightly upward, and then tilting the blades again to head back downward gives a little bit of a boost. This is best done when the ground is in a downward slope, so you have room to dive a little more to keep up the speed.

9. What's a skarmory's social life like?

Skarmory tend to be pretty territorial, unless at mineral gathering spots which are usually areas of peace as everyone's too busy chipping away at rocks to eat or bring to their chicks.

Skarmory generally fight over territory. They keep to themselves, with the addition of a mate (or sometimes multiple mates) and their chicks, who leave to find their own territory once old enough. A skarmory will usually defend its territory viciously against other skarmory and other pokemon--especially other flying pokemon.

Territorial disputes aside though, skarmory have a few social gestures that are noteworthy in this section!

We have a greeting gesture that's usually an indication of friendliness--beak clacking. A skarmory will open its beak and snap it closed again in rapid succession to create a metallic clanking sound. It sounds similar to a large bell mixed with hitting a metal rod with a hammer, a constant ringing trill.

We also do a slightly different beak clack in anger or as a threat. The difference between a friendly greeting and a warning clack is how fast and hard we're snapping our beaks shut. Warning clacks are loud, strong, and generally much slower than a greeting one due to putting more force behind each snap. Greetings are closer to a softer trill or metallic rumble.

Skarmory also have another threat gesture–we fan out and slide our wingblades across each other to make a metallic scraping noise.

We preen each other (and ourselves) as this-world birds do, another friendly gesture. We pay particular attention to wings, sharpening each other's wingblades by clamping our beak down on them and sliding along it.

10. Is a skarmory at a higher risk of lightning strikes?

If a skarmory were to be flying through a storm, possibly, yes! However, when it’s raining, skarmory will try their best to stay hidden from the water. Which has the added effect of being largely protected from lightning strikes too, especially when they choose to hide in caves! Most other flying pokemon also seem to prefer to not fly through thunderstorms due to the risks associated with them.

As for attacks by electric-type moves–yeah, we’re pretty easily damaged by those. That and fire types are the main threats we face out of any of the other types. Water damage can also be an issue, but it’s rarely an issue in-fight, it’s simply a problem if there’s rusting after the fight.

11. What does a skarmory feel like?

A skarmory’s plating is smooth, and feels just like touching polished metal. It’s usually cold to the touch too, unless it’s been sitting in the sun. The wingblades and tailblade feel the same even though they’re more lightweight–its entire body feels metallic! A skarmory is also much lighter than it appears–due to our hollow bones and lightweight armor, we can look very heavy while being relatively light.

12. What is the crest used for? 

The crest is occasionally used in fighting other pokemon, though the wingblades are normally used for that much more often. The crest can be used as a horn, and is useful when using iron head and similar moves. It might also help with steering while flying, though I don’t have anything definitive to say on that matter.

13. What is the tailblade used for? 

The tailblade is used for steering! It’s similar to a rudder you’d find on an aircraft or a boat. A skarmory will use it to change its flight path, in combination with the angle of its wings. A tailblade isn’t really ever used for fighting. It also sheds less often than other parts, possibly due to its important role in properly controlled flight. A skarmory without a tailblade will be a clumsy flier at best, though they’re luckily not usually grounded because of it.

14. Can the wingblades be used for things other than flying?

Yes! Wingblades are used often in fighting. They’re sturdy, sharp, and kept in pristine condition by preening done either by the skarmory itself or its mate. A skarmory will swoop down and hit an opponent with the tips of its wingblades as it flies past, slicing them.

For humans of the pokemon world, they’ve been known to take feathers dropped by skarmory to fashion swords and daggers! There’s been some instances of poachers in the past, though they’re much less common in the era I’m from due to humans being easily able to create their own blades.

15. What habitats do skarmory prefer?

Skarmory are pretty adaptable, but they prefer areas with little humidity and low heat. They can live in mountains, forests, cave systems, fields, and more! Skarmory are particularly susceptible to damage from both water and overheating, so you won’t find many living near an ocean, in a swamp, or in a desert. Though, these locations don’t always spell disaster to simply cross, so you may see one flying around in areas you normally wouldn’t expect to see one as it passes through.

It’s unlikely that a skarmory provided with adequate shelter will be seen out in the rain or in the heat, in which case they usually can be found hiding in or amongst trees, or in caves.

16. Are there any subspecies of skarmory?

Kind of! Skarmory can all look a little different from each other, and our armor can definitely be different colours–our colour variation is actually pretty broad. We can also have slightly different shapes to our plating, or extra features such as more than the standard 4 wingblades per wing.

I stayed in mostly the same areas, so I only know my local skarmory and how they look. The physical variations mainly are in the colour or wingblade number–though maybe skarmory from different climates can have different shapes?

Some Colour Examples:

Notes:

Pied colour forms can have as little as a single part being a different colour. You could have a shiny with one red wingblade, or a standard with just one neckplate being lighter. I also believe there could be light/dark or dark/shiny pieds as opposed to just light/standard, dark/standard and shiny/standard, though I haven’t seen any.

I’ve never seen a full shiny, though I did see a skarmory with a single green wingblade, which I can now categorise as a pied shiny with very minimal shiny colouration.

I saw a blue skarmory once, I’m unsure if it’s another variation of a dark colouration or not, all I know is he was very territorial. He’s in his own little category for now.

In This World:

And here, I'll talk about my current, this-body experiences as a skarmory fictive. This ranges from shifting experiences, to self expression, to in-system experiences, and anything else I want to cover.

In-Body, Euphoria

While fronting, I get pretty dysphoric, so I try to express myself when I can, which does bring a lot of joy!

I've become a fan of jewellery--particularly necklaces, as having something on my neck feels right. The bulkier and heavier the better! I absolutely need to buy some more, maybe some thick bangles for my legs!

I also tend to wear greyish colours to match my own armor colour. Grey hoodies/jackets are the best, because having them unzipped feels almost like having wings attached to my sides. To match my colours even more, I like wearing a red shirt under a grey hoodie to kind of mimic my read wingblades in the best way I can.

I've been known to attempt to clack my beak at people, which unfortunately doesn't go very well for someone with human teeth. However, clicking my tongue is similar enough that it gets the point across, so I love doing that too!

In-Body, Dysphoria

I've talked about this before in another post, but I'll do it here again.

I get very, very dysphoric about my body shape. I have two wings and two legs, and having arms at all feels.. So, so wrong. My arms have hands and fingers, which are close to talons, but they're where my wings belong. My legs aren't bent at the right spots. My skin is soft and getting an injury doesn't make it tougher. So many things are different about this body, and so many things upset me about it.

Phantom Shift Map

I've made a map detailing where my skarmory parts are placed on my human body, and how frequently these parts are felt. Keep in mind, these percentages are for when I'm in control of the body/fronting.

Notes:

My phantom shifts often feel like a presence--that's the best way I can put it. You know how people can tell where their arm or leg is in space, even with their eyes closed? How you can close your eyes and hold up 3 fingers and know which you've put up, even if they're not touching each other? It's like that, but I can sense specific outlines of my body parts. Sometimes they feel more "real" and tangible than others, but most of the time, it's a presence.

My neckplates, talons, and leg/thighplates are often the most "real" feeling phantom shifts.

I almost constantly have wingblades while in the front. They often tend to "clip" through objects--right now they're through the wall as I sit here and type this. I'm able to individually move each wingblade as I would have been able to before.

My tailblade also has the same issue as wingblades, always clipping into things.

Interestingly, I get a beak more often than I get a crest. I can take a guess and say this is because the crest had very little feeling in it in general, which also lines up with my wingblades feeling more like a sense than a tangible feeling.

In-Headspace

Inside the headspace, not much has changed about my body. We have a decently realistic headspace, so all of my regular parts and physics tied to them work the same. However, I no longer need to worry about rust and I haven't shed since I got here. Other people in-system still have their hair grow with time, so either I simply don't need to shed anymore, or it hasn't happened yet.

I don't feel any territorial needs anymore, and I mostly exist around other pokemon inside. Particularly a talonflame named Thrash, and a noivern named Echo. Flying type solidarity!

I'm also very glad that there's no fighting for survival with other pokemon in-headspace either. I don't need to worry about getting hit with a fire-type attack or getting downed by rock-throw mid flight--that's always a plus!

Differences from Source Media

I’ve noticed a few differences in my anatomy vs that of souce skarmory. The differences are pretty small, but some are also fairly strange to me. The main difference I’m weirded out by, is the beak shape of canon skarmory. Skarmory where I’m from have a toothlike structure on their beak, and their bottom jaw lines up pretty well with their top jaw–very much unlike canon.

I’ve included another diagram demonstrating the differences below.

Notes:

Wingblades are generally longer than in my drawn image, but they can vary in length anyway. They do, however, often end up being quite thick and covering most of the body-length.

A skarmory in my canon can have more than the regular 3 neckplates.

A skarmory in my canon can have, as far as I’ve seen, up to 6 wingblades per wing.

In Conclusion:

That just about sums up everything I can think of! Going through all this and writing it all down has actually been immensely helpful to me, and helped me remember loads of things I didn’t think about along the way. I’ll definitely look back at this later on, when maybe I have more information, or maybe when my memory starts failing as it always does, and get a refresher when I need it. Hell, if I find out enough new information, I might add some updates to this.

Being a kinda niche pokemon species, I wanted some representation for my experiences. The pokedex entries from the games offer a bit of info–most of which I covered here–but what I remember about our world and our lives goes so far beyond just little lines of flavour text. I’ve never seen another skarmory alterhuman out there, and my experiences might not even line up with those of another skarmory, but I at least wanted a reference for myself. If it helps others, great. If it doesn’t, that’s also fine. I just wanted this to be out there.

Maybe it could be a starting point for some. Maybe it’d spur on memories in someone else? Maybe it’d help someone discover that they are a skarmory, or have another alterhuman connection to it? Maybe it’s just cool to learn about! Either way, I wanted to document my experiences, so here we are.

[litenpraerieulv]

# 26 . 07. 24

🦴 ! There’s an assumption that all physical therians / holothere identify as an animal on a physical level due to autism, psychosis or due to forming an animal alter.

🐾 ! However, I rarely see people discuss how other aspects of mental health influence their animal identity. In my personal experience, I think that my obsessive compulsions and intrusive thoughts are a rather large part of my identity as a physical therian.

🥩 # content warning for compulsive auto-cannibalism and emetophobia warning

♟️ ! I struggle with compulsive skin eating, I have sustained great nerve damage and broken bones from this, however I cannot digest human flesh and often it comes back up shortly after.

🦴 ! I am then frequently met with the urge to feed my regurgitated flesh to my ‘pups’. Whilst I do not have any children or pets, due to hitting sexual maturity at the age of 7, I deal with incredibly overwhelming maternal instincts despite being a man.

🐾 ! I often see others want to discuss the ugly side of therianthropy, the aspects that repulse most other humans, yet outside of mild species dysphoria, I am yet to see more than a handful of creatures discuss these animalistic urges that aren’t ‘tiktok ready’.

♟️! I am a coyote through and through, not just in appearance or connection. I am more coyote than just a fluffy tail or tall ears, I am coyote in my behaviour and real life too.

[glubby-guppiez]

*Random TMNT 2012 (mainly side characters) hc's bcuz hyperfixation

*(this is the best divider to ever exist btw)

*Warnings: Spoilers for TMNT 2012 ofc, mentions of gender dysphoria and trans related insecurity, transphobia, accidental arson, bullying, manipulation, ptsd, also the tone of the headcanons shift randomly also also typing quirk

*Chris Bradford is trans. )(e did a full transition, he did hormones, voice training, top and bottom surgery, a few different surgeries to make him look/feel more masculine, all the bells and whistles, even went the extra mile to do procedures to hide his surgery scars. )(e's closeted and does about everything in his power to make sure no one even question that he was assigned female at birth because he's scared of his social image of being the great macho man, Chris Bradford, crumbling.

*Leo mainly or solely uses fandom and fanfic socials like Wattpad, AO3, Amino, Tumblr, and maybe Twitter. She mainly interacts with Space )(eroes and Crognard The Barbarian fan posts and shows a special interest in gender swap aus.

*Later on, post show with Muckman's help the mutants are actually able to freely walk around humans without them completely flipping out and starting a mob to witch hunt after them.

*Speaking of walking around humans, Napoleon and the frogs down in Louisiana are considered local urban legend and humans get really excited when they spot the frogs in the woods.

*Dr. Rockwell is a very big coffee enjoyer and used to secretly steal coffee from the nearby shops around the mighty mutanimals hideout and on the rare occasion when someone caught him and called him out he would always use the excuse of the shops being owned by big corporations.

*Don Visioso is a deadbeat father of 5. )(e also has had multiple wives and many divorces.

*Mondo Gecko will call people posers if he's jealous enough of them.

*Ivan Steranko is also trans but has only had hrt and face masculinizing surgery and refuses to get top and bottom surgery.

*Anton Zeck is incredibly smart and performed extremely well in high school and even got free scholarships for how well he did.

*Shinigami is a big video game nerd and will geek out if anyone mentions one of the games she plays.

*The reason Anton hated the mutant name Mikey gave him at first is because it either sounds a lot like or straight up is a nickname old bullies of him gave in order to make fun of him.

*Premutation, Chris acts transphobic towards Xever (despite Xever being cis) out of jealousy and insecurity.

*Baxter Stockman is either a gay aroace trans mspec nonbinary man or a cishet ally. No in-between.

*Mini April cluster!!!:

*April has a deep love for literature and writes poetry in her spare time.

*She almost burned down the culinary class in her school once.

*She's questioning aroace.

*She felt extra empathy for Muckman because he reminded her of Kirby a little bit.

*She likes to hide stickers around the lair whenever has them on her person.

*She thoroughly enjoys having long conversations with each of the individual turtles. (It's her favorite way to spend time with anyone tbh)

*April does eventually take some time to properly learn Japanese and becomes pretty decent at speaking and reading it.

*)(er and Donnie often like to geek out together whenever they find anything new about aliens (both species they haven't seen yet and ones they know well like the kraang).

*End of the mini April cluster!!!

*Kirby O'Neil is a pretty decent cook. That man can make a mean chicken stew.

*Shinigami actually owns multiple cats. 2 ragdoll, 1 sphinx, 1 Persian, and 3 British shorthairs (I could name them all, but I don't wanna). Also, the majority of them are black cats. She feeds strays, too.

*The last headcanon is much to Karai's dismay because she is somewhat allergic. She gets headaches, her skin gets slightly irritated and she gets the sniffles if she's around cats for too long.

*Casey's younger sister wants to be a hair stylist when she grows up, so Jones let's her do his hair every once in a while and he flexes it to every one at the lair like: "Oh? My hair? Yeah, my sister did it for me. Pretty metal, what she did with it, right?"

*Tigerclaw is the only Foot Clan member to not bully Baxter Stockman.

*Someone manipulated and lied to Alopex in order to make her hate and hunt down her brother.

*After season 4, Baxter Stockman leaves New York and takes over Stockman Industries. (If you're unaware of what that is, it's on billboards that the turtles pass throughout the show the most notable appearance being in the ending scene of the final season 4 episode, 'Owari'.)

*Slash deep down still misses The Newtralizer.

*Leatherhead kind of freaks out (apologies for the bad wording) when someone fully wraps their arms around his neck when hugging him because it reminds him of the restraints the Kraang put him in.

*Pigeon Pete learns how to bake so he can make his own bread.

*The turtles get a Wii (or whatever the universes equivalent is).

*Mondo Gecko gets an old Xbox and plays Tony )(awk games, Bully, and Twisted Metal on it.

*Ivan and Anton actually move out to New Jersey post show.

*Alr, that's all for now, toodles!!!

[ochrearia]

And What Can We Do?

RAAAAHH I said I was gonna finish this stupid one-shot even if it killed me. Ough man my stomach huts so bad but the grind never stops. OCHRE WRITING A PROMPT WHERE YS ISN'T ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN IT? CRAZY

BFs in this one-shot: cs!BF (Beefer, mine), wyd!BF (Beef, Karl's), sfa!BF (Peacock, Shed's), Candy!BF (Blue, Slushgut's)

“You know, don’t you?”

Honestly, the Dinaurian coming to him to ask such a random question was the last thing Beef was expecting. He hadn’t exactly talked much to Beefer either, only small passing conversations compared to the ones he’d had with YS, Biff, or Bee. Kind of weird to think about, talking to one version of himself more than another. Nothing about this was normal anyway.

“Know… what?” Beef asked back, genuinely confused.

Beef had been more than happy to keep to himself in what had essentially become a big brother waiting room. YS wasn’t home, but that hadn’t stopped any of them from camping out at his place waiting for him to come back. It certainly didn’t stop them now. Peacock, Blue, Beefer, and him. A whole handful of BFs he’d talked to the least, probably.

Beefer pulled a face, his red eyes flicking between Peacock and Blue carefully before deciding to continue. “You know about YS. I keep seeing you stare a little too long at his back when he’s around. The others not here, they wouldn’t think anything of it. But the rest of us know better.”

Beef blanched, looking between the three. Blue and Peacock were looking almost confused back at the Dinaurian. Slightly unnerved curiosity on how he knew what he did.

“Dinaurian instinct, guys.” Beefer sighed. “The species I am now. From my world they have gone generations now disguising themselves as humans when they aren’t. Using technology to fool the eyes. I guess something about that made it into my DNA, making it so I can tell between humans and fake humans. I know the only human in this room is Beef.”

Well, that sure was a revelation. Beef hadn’t known there was more really outside of Beefer and YS. It was literally impossible to miss with the Dinaurian, and finding out YS was an angel was sheer luck of time and place. Well, Biff had been there too, but it seemed like he was way better at hiding his knowledge.

“Could’ve given a warning before outing us like that man.” Peacock complained with a raised eyebrow.

“We’re all friends here, are we not?” Beefer replied with a shrug. “I need to keep tabs on who knows and who doesn’t. It matters to me that we avoid comments about his lost wings, even by accident.”

“Beef is the only human in this room?” Blue spoke up, confused. “Wait… hold on, ignoring that for a minute, lost wings? He had wings and now he doesn’t?”

“I didn’t know that.” Peacock frowned. “I could tell he was an angel, angels can sense other angels. I had no idea he was Fallen.”

Beefer dragged his hands along his face in exasperation. “Well fuck. Okay. Guess you know now. It was a talking point when I came to him having an episode of body dysphoria. I think that’s what it’s called anyway. Beef, you had to have known that though right? I didn’t just run my stupid mouth?”

“No, I knew. But I didn’t want to say anything, the way I found out wasn’t really good.” Beef confirmed with a grimace. That day had been so stressful, from one breakdown to the next. “I don’t know if I should say my thoughts though. I have a really bad theory.”

“Dude you can’t headcanon real people.”

“That’s- Why is that what you thought I was doing?” Beef huffed. “See you knew he lost his wings. You clearly don’t know the manner of how he lost them.”

“What, and you do?” Beefer countered.

“If he’s Fallen, then it’s a pretty simple conclusion.” Shrugged Peacock. “The wings rot away, harmlessly. Physically harmlessly anyway. The angel has to deal with the loss for the rest of their life. I just don’t understand what the big guy did to get there.”

“Well…” Beef hesitated. Was this his place to talk about? It was only a theory, he wasn’t even sure if he was right. But the way those bumps felt, those were scars of a way more violent injury than just ‘rotting’. “I don’t think his wings rotted. I don’t think he did anything to get there.”

“How could someone as kind as YS end up Falling?” Blue wondered aloud. “Beef is probably right, he didn’t do anything. Everyone keeps talking about the things he’s done to help. He introduced me to all you guys! I don’t think there’s even a little bit of evil in his body.”

“Then how did he lose his wings then?” Peacock challenged. “And how are you so sure he didn’t Fall?”

“You’ve all gotten at least one hug from YS by now right? Have any of you actually thought to put your hands on his upper back? Well, don’t, he hates that and that’s how I found out. But like, before this conversation did any of you do that?” Beef asked.

The three shook their heads, wondering where he was going with this.

“He has bumps on his back.” Beef continued. “Scars of where his wings used to be. His over shirt is loose and wouldn’t highlight them but I felt them. Even for a moment I could tell those weren’t gentle scars. I guess I don’t know what kind of calling card would be left over after an angel’s wings rot but those bumps are violent. That was a traumatic injury. Not something painless, by how he reacted when I asked. I think… I think something ripped his wings off.”

Silence swept the room.

“...No.” Peacock decided almost desperately. “No, no that can’t be right. Angel wings are too strong for just anything to rip them out. That’s something I was told in my own world. That should be a universal thing, very few things are powerful enough to even do that.”

“Well… that’s still a chance.” Beef mumbled.

“There’s always going to be a stronger thing out there even if you think you’re at the top of the food chain.” Beefer hissed sourly. “Humans in my world, thinking they were top shit because they found a way to revive dinosaurs and make them their friends. Then the Dinaurians showed up. And then the Dinaurians were revealed to be fleeing an even bigger threat, a whole planet eater. Turned out that planet eater could be, and was, killed by a human. There’s always something, a way to defeat the ‘invulnerable’.”

“Why would anyone want to do that to him though?” Bue seemed visibly upset by this revelation. “Didn’t he already go through enough? He still hasn’t told any of us how his version of GF died, I’m guessing? Wouldn’t that have been traumatic enough? Why would someone make it exponentially worse?”

“That’s what I want to know.” Beef growled, feeling his anger flare. YS would tell him it wasn’t worth it, but he wasn’t here, and he was going to feel angry. “You didn’t see it. How badly he reacted when I asked one question. I asked what happened to him and it was like the world was fucking ending.”

“Fuck, how much has he gone through?” A loaded question, but now even Peacock was getting a bit miffed. He didn’t care about a lot, but the things he did care about he was fierce to protect. “Losing his girlfriend, not having a Pico, and now this? It’s a miracle he’s even still alive.”

Yeah, yeah it sure is. Beef thought bitterly. Too much had been accidentally revealed in the aftermath of him prodding about YS’s wing scars. Him deliriously breaking down even further to the point he’d called Biff over as backup. They’d cheered him up the best they could, all things considered. And then when he’d calmed down enough, the pure exhaustion made him blurt things neither should have heard him say. Talking about how angels were always cold when Beef had asked why he liked being warm so much.

Talking about I wanted to join her when Biff asked the last time he’d properly slept. I had a plan. Connect all these mes and then I’d be… I can’t now.

Maybe that wasn’t his story to tell. Beef had seen how devastated Biff had gotten hearing about him having a plan, never in his life had he seen the smaller one get so crushed and upset. If that had been his reaction, and how these guys were already acting with these theories… yeah, he couldn’t tell them.

“So then now what?” Blue asked, snapping Beef out of his thoughts. “He never talked about any of this. I don’t think he’d be happy about any of us knowing, but I don’t want to just pretend I’m clueless. Isn’t there something we can do to show support?”

“It sounds like the only time he actually admitted to anything was with me.” Beefer recounted. “Though even then it was indirect. He only actually said he’d lost his wings after I said it first as a theory. And I could tell it made him uncomfortable. That’s why I think making sure attention to it is avoided is probably the best bet.”

“So we’re not gonna tell him we know more than he thinks?” Peacock asked. “That seems really dishonest. If we tell him we can offer support better.”

“He doesn’t want any of us knowing to begin with!” Beef argued. “Only reason any of us know is because apparently this room is full of non-humans and I just happened to open my big fat mouth!”

“I’m still confused about the room full of non-humans thing…” Blue sheepishly said.

“How are you-? You know what, nevermind, that’s not urgent.” Beefer sighed, tail lashing. “Please, by all means tell him you know, I’m sure the distress of that conversation will be worth it. ‘Hey, you’ve been nothing but kind and caring and you do your absolute best to never hurt us, let me just hurt you real quick by telling you I know what you are and let you sit with that discomfort’.”

“Cheap shot.” Peacock countered.

“The options are pain and pain. Just pick one.” Beef grumbled with folded arms. “Either we tell him and he gets upset with us, or we don’t tell him and let him continue to deal with it alone with no direct support network.”

“Well that’s not true.” Blue insisted. “It’s not true! He has a support network, it’s us. We’re still going to be his support network even if we don’t know everything about him. He doesn’t know everything about us and still does loads to help. We can do that too!”

Blue had a point. YS wasn’t all-knowing, he’d said that several times at this point. He knows as much as he can observe, and by how much they all decided to tell him. He’s just another one of them, nothing completely different and overly special and that was okay. YS still managed to be a pillar of comfort and safety for all of them in different ways, why did they think that they couldn’t do the same? He was always so closely guarded of his problems but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be there for him.

“...Okay.” Beefer breathed finally. “Can we all agree on that at least? Just be there for him if anything happens, but we agree not to mention what we know if it’s clear that saying something would make it worse?”

“Fine.” Peacock conceded. “I don’t like the idea of hurting him by accident but I know lying can also cause that. I guess it’s just a lose-lose situation.”

“He’s obviously not ready to talk about what happened to him. We can’t force that, but we can be there for him. If anything else happens…” Beef was trying. He was always so worked up over being soft or vulnerable but YS had been slowly helping him change that. Hell, he was completely open and willing to be those things if the tall one needed it and that had been proven behind closed doors. It was still nagging at the back of his head that he was being embarrassingly protective of him around the others.

“Glad we agree then. That’s what I was aiming for by bringing this up.” Beefer admitted. “Constantly worried about him to be honest. As if I needed more things to worry about considering what the hell’s going on with me, but it’s impossible not to care about the guy.”

At least they could all agree to that statement too. 

[unetherian]

Intro post

Last updated: Wednesday, the 12th . November 2025

.·:*¨¨*≈☆≈*¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*≈☆≈*¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*≈☆≈*¨¨*:·.

First name: nickname: Lune (or unetherian)

age: yes

gender: That is to say, I don't have any . (agender)

pronouns: I don't have specific pronouns so . whatever you want

alter/nonhuman / therian / naturhearted / quadrobist

theriotype(s): I'm a puma!

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼 ・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・

Hi! Welcome to my blog ! I created it to learn more about and connect with alterhuman, otherhuman, alterbeing and non-human communities.

Here is a safe place for:

alterhumans (including factkins)

nonhumans

otherhumans (including factkins)

alterbeing

furries

those who are questioning

queer beings

quadrobists

otherpaws

those who have a plural system (all)

those who support/respect those who are welcome

beings just wanting to be informed

zoophiles who treated this/who have not and will never take action

pedophiles who treated this/who have not and will never take action

haters/antis who are no longer haters/antis

乁⁠|⁠ ⁠･⁠ ⁠〰⁠ ⁠･⁠ ⁠|⁠ㄏidk who add

Here isn't a safe place for:

zoophiles, pedophiles, who want to have real s3xual relations with this f3tish

antikin, antilink, antifur, queerphobe, and anyone who wants to physically or mentally harm those who are welcome.

anyone who harms/do not respect someone or something.

I still don't know who add ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠˘⁠_⁠˘⁠)⁠┌

⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇ ⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇

My hobbies : I love art, I draw a lot (usually on sheets of paper, sometimes digitally) I also do quadrobics and climb trees. I take care of my pets, I observe animals outside, I look at the planets with my (small) telescope, I read, I collect vulture culture, I'm listening to music, any other activities in nature, and many other things.

My parents don't know that I have a Tumblr account so if I've been inactive for a while it means I must have deleted it or just abandoned it. I don't like lying to them, but without the community on Tumblr, I think my mental health wouldn't be very good... (They don't know I'm alter/nonhuman) I assure you that I am extremely careful on social networks, I know that you shouldn't joke about that. I prefer to warn <3

Later, when I can, I will try to educate the French alterhuman, alterbeing and nonhuman communities.

If you want to see my alterhuman journey, watch after the cut :3 nf

[TW : Intense species dysphoria and depression, the following is not only about that but I prefer to warn you. I tell you how I got out of all this]

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼

I awakened in the 4 February 2024. That's when I noticed that I wasn't just a person with a lot of imagination.

But it's a long story ;⁠)

I've never felt completely human since I was born. I have always had needs, instincts, shifts etc. At first I thought it was a game and I thought that ✨ one day I would turn into a magical creature who will save the planet from pollution ✨(I really believed it ^^') In my head, it was simple: I was a magical creature capable of transforming into several different animals/creatures, I had to watch over the Earth but humans were starting to become too dangerous so I found a way to become the child of a family and start a life as a human to learn more about this species and find a solution to fix everything, and later transform into my true form to make everything better.(I shortened the lore I created around this).

Finally, I grew up, and I noticed that this story didn't hold water. I stopped believing in all that, because I had made it all up, right?

All ?

I had effortlessly let go of this crazy story (I didn't really believe in it anymore at the end so...) but I still didn't feel human, I continued to have animal experiences... I returned to the starting point. Why do I feel like this? This time I didn't want to make up a weird story like I did in the past (I wouldn't even believe it anyway)... So I thought I was crazy.

I felt bad, extremely bad about my identity.

This time it wasn't completely because of my gender and species dysphoria, (I didn't know what the word dysphoria meant at the time), I just felt crazy. Deep down, I knew that wasn't really the case. But I didn't listen to myself. Who wants to listen to a crazy person, anyway?

Later, I decided to create a clothing style more related to fantastic animals or creatures, to feel better. (unconsciously, I created gears for myself)

And even later, on YouTube shorts, I found a strange video where I saw a masked person running around on all fours I was looking for something else, so I didn't really watch the video. If people like to pretend to be an animal, as long as they like it and it doesn't hurt anyone, why not?

And I found another video. Then two. Then three, four, five, six, etc.I finally gave in and watched these videos.

And there is the flash.

I admired the impressive jumps and the magnificent masks based on animals and nature. Before, I thought it was a hobby, looking for the animal that most resembles you, and doing quadrobics. I needed this "hobby" to escape my dysphoria and anxiety... Besides, I thought the members of the community were called furries. But I noticed that in a lot of these videos it said "you don't choose to be a therian" or "theriantropy isn't just gears and quads", so I did some research .

And I discovered the actual definition. I discovered MY definition! This part of myself, A WHOLE COMMUNITY HAS FEELINGS SIMILAR TO MINE?????????!!!!!!!!

I discovered the definition of therian. Then that of otherkin, otherhearted, nonhuman, plantkin, otherlink, ockin, fictionkith, ect.

I learned a lot about these communities, before deciding to learn about myself.

The fact that I found a term and communities that fit me unfortunately did not stop my species dysphoria from growing, as it had done so well before. I probably had depression. I haven't been diagnosed, but I did my research and it looks very similar... To feel nothing, not even sadness, only despair. A despair that seeps into a body, to stab the heart and compress the ribcage of its victim. It was horrible, words can't describe it.

I came out of it after 7 months of fighting, alone. I didn't talk about it much to the online community, I felt quite uncomfortable talking about it. I came out, I fell a few times, but a little less deep, I managed to get out quickly. Then I picked up my emotions one by one, sadness first. Even if it's not the best emotion, what a pleasure to feel something!

Then I just felt a huge anxiety. That was also horrible, I only got out two months ago. Alone at first, then with my sister. And yes, I came out to him at the end of October 2024! She supports me (and all the community) and that has helped me a lot.

Then I started to recover from all of that. I had found some of my emotions again, love not long really ago, anger, and and sometimes I found myself looking forward to something! My hope was reborn, and was growing timidly. I found the taste for life again, and I rebuilt myself stronger. I realized how important feelings are, Now I enjoy these sensations that I have been deprived of for a while. My dysphoria still exists, but I feel more and more species euphoria !

I have (after more than 8 months of research) finally discovered my theriotype! I'm a puma. I'm pretty sure of it.

It helps a lot that my sister supports me, I can bé myself ! Of course she's not a therian so she doesn't understand everything and she's not the most mature person on this planet, but she's quite interested in my identity and calls my hands "paws"!... It's really too sweet every time she does that I want to cry

It's much better.

Now I really have almost recovered all my emotions, and now I love life, even more than I loved it before. I am not afraid anymore. As long as I do not relapse, I am happy. Despite some family problems that arose not so long ago, I'm holding up.

I just have to wait until the end of the school year to maybe find an alter/nonhuman friend in a new establishment.

The wait is so long... But I prefer to wait enjoying this renewal than to wait more depressed than ever.

I still have some questions to answer about myself, but that doesn't bother me. On the contrary, it makes me want to move forward, to continue this adventure.

My introspection is unlikely to stop, ;)

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼

A big thanks for reading! It was very a bit long I know but oh well I do what I want >:3

[cyberdhole2069]

Two Lights

A short story I wrote over the course of a day set in a universe that I've been working on off and on since I was in high school. It's set on the cargo ship Stardust, and features two Transfems.

content warning: Dysphoria, minor implied transphobia, cigarette smoking, marijuana smoking.

GDrive Link:

Kyrie stretched as she leaned back from her console, flexing her dexterous fingers against the back of her head, eyes closed as she faced the ceiling of the engineering deck. It was tedious work, making sure that the Ripper Drive was maintaining optimal thrust, that the guideline on their path through Leyspace hadn’t been severed, basic things that she’d been doing since before her transition. Kyrie’s tail swished agitatedly behind her as she rose to her feet, paws clad in heavy work boots to protect them in the deep bowels of the engine room. She scratched under her chin, where the barest traces of mane stubbornly, frustratingly held on to life; dark red lines in her otherwise golden fur. Kyrie was an Exo, a race of humans modified with animal DNA centuries ago, before humanity spread to the Andromeda Galaxy and made contact with the other races that made up the Milky Way Federation. Specifically, Kyrie was a Leonine Exo, a species bred for their strong social dynamics and group cohesion. Not every Leonine Exohuman fell into this stereotype, and Kyrie herself more often preferred being in small groups or even by herself. 

“Hey, Mickey.” She said, turning to her co-engineer in the seat behind her. At first glance, it looked like a mannequin in coveralls, but then the head turned 180 degrees to look at her.

“Yes, Rie?” The voice was echoey, and didn’t sound like it came from the mannequin’s ‘mouth’. Kyrie winced a little at the exorcist-style response. She hated it when he did that.

“Going to go check on Port 4. Should be about 20 minutes. That cool?” 

“Fine by me. Just make sure the fans are working this time, yeah?” Mickey replied, before turning his head back around and tapping away at the console, transferring Kyrie’s duties from her console to his.

Kyrie nodded, and made her way out of the small office they shared, into the bowels of the ship. Despite appearing as if some sort of robot, ‘Mickey’ was actually one of the alien races that made up the Federation. His real name was M’ki, and he was an Ephemeral. The Ephemeral hailed from a rogue planet, a planet without a sun, and existed as disembodied masses of energy. Being incorporeal made performing his duties and interacting with other members of the crew difficult; so the captain of the Stardust had issued him a blank, an empty machine body, to inhabit for the journey. The Ephemeral had the ability to override electrical signals to control machines (and even people) while inside them, and there were harsh laws against humanoid possession written specifically for them. The Stardust itself was a fairly old ship, named after some ancient human performer, but he still did his duties all these centuries later. As Kyrie made her way through the ship’s engine hold, she ran her hands over the ancient machinery. It stretched farther than the eye could see, the impulse thrusters entwined with the Ripper Drive. A large transparisteel window cast a blue light over the catwalks as the Ripper Core glowed and gave off energy that nobody really understood. Generations of Humans, Exos, Ephemeral, and Quadri had been in here over the ships service, and she could still see fingerprints, claw marks, talon scratches, and even bent gantry from a Quadri’s heavy step as she made her way deep into the engine. Her coveralls were spattered with grime, and her red hair was kept in a tight bun. Working during a Leyspace Jump was just so… boring. Every engineer knew what ‘Port 4, 20 minutes’ meant, and even those that didn’t partake kept their mouths shut. Drawing the short straw and having to be awake while everyone else was in cryo sucked, and they all knew it. 

Finally reaching the deepest part of the engine core, she let her mid-back length red hair free from its elastic prison, and fished a small paper cone and a lighter from her pocket.

—

Dr. Lesh heard the tapping of her boot heel on the deck before she realized she’d been doing it for 10 minutes. Leyspace jumps were the absolute worst, and as a junior medical officer, she was dutybound to stay awake for all of them. 

“Ughhh…” The gutteral sound came from her throat as she brought her head down onto the desk in front of her. The medbay was clean, sterile, and completely empty. During a Leyspace jump, it was standard procedure for 90% of the crew to go into cryosleep for the duration. For the Stardust and his crew of roughly 100 people, that meant 2 engineers, one pilot, one navigator, the captain, and four crewmen all under the medical supervision of the Junior medical officer. Leyspace was also… completely empty, especially during jumps along well defined paths between Ripper Stations.

If they’d been brave explorers charting a course along an unknown Leyline, then maybe she’d have something to do, but unfortunately the Stardust had been designated as a cargo vessel taking food from Demeter, a Super-Earth farming world in the Cthonis system of the Milky Way, to Lupis Primari, a fledgeling Exohuman colony in Andromeda’s trailing arm.

…Which also meant that this trip was going to take forever.

“I need a break.” She said to herself, tapping her temple and activating her TOSKr implant, a microcomputer that most people had installed into their nervous systems. As she controlled the interface with the tactile keyboard implanted into the skin of her left arm, she noted the reported locations of each conscious crewmember. The captain and the bridge crew were on the bridge, probably checking their trajectory, the crewmen were taking inventory, one engineer was monitoring readouts and the other was ‘checking on port 4’. It certainly seemed clear enough for her to take a short break.

Opening her drawer, she fetched a small pack of cigarettes. Smoking on the ship was forbidden by the captain, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. Taking off her coat and stashing the box in her bra, she placed a sign on her door with her TOSKr contact listed and made her way down towards engineering. Her boots clicked on the bulkhead, sending eerie echoes through the empty hall. During full operations, this place would be packed. It was almost like walking through a ghost town. It made her paranoid, adjusting her glasses and peering around as if the captain was going to leap out and grab the cigs from her bra herself.

It’s not like it’s the best hiding spot… her inner voice chided. You’ve managed what, A cups over the last year? Should have hidden them in your pants. Nobody would have said anything. The intrusive thought made her wince, but she took a breath. She was proud of herself. The nametag on her coat even still had the peelable plastic film on it from how recently it had been reissued. A beaming human face with the name ‘Dr. Jennifer Lesh, Jr. Medical Officer’ emblazoned upon it. She stood a little taller, prouder, puffing out her chest a bit. It had only been a year, sure, but life was a journey.

And hers had definitely been more exciting than a Leyspace jump.

—

Leaning over the gantry, staring at the Ripper Core, Kyrie watched the energy of the Leylines wash over the core again and again, like waves on a beach. She’d dropped the upper part of her coveralls, leaving her in a tank top with the sleeves tied around her waist. The lit part of the cone flared every time she took a hit, enjoying her break and the soft buzzing feeling in the back of her head. Humanity had come a long way, with two galaxies under their belt, but still nothing beat a dumb little herb from central Asia for relaxing.

Kyrie’s ear flicked. She heard something coming down the gantryway. Being an Exo, her hearing was better than most. Boots. Not used to walking on gantries. Thick heels, but not thick enough to be security or the captain. As the source got closer, she smelled something specific. Tobacco.

Another bored soul looking to unwind, albeit with a different poison of choice. Kyrie turned around and leaned against the gantry with her back to the Ripper Core, waiting for the intruder to arrive. What she didn’t expect was the Junior Medical Officer. They’d never met in person, but Kyrie had definitely heard of her. Her starting her transition a year ago had been the talk of the ship, with plenty of people being extremely annoying about it to Kyrie, asking if they knew each other because they were trans and other bullshit like that.

What Kyrie hadn’t expected was how beautiful she looked. A human with soft looking brown hair kept shoulder length and tidy, a small button nose, and intelligent gray eyes behind a pair of square wireframe glasses with a face that looked soft and adorable. Petite, definitely, with hints of hips to come and the beginning of a curved waist. All wrapped up in her standard issue medical officer’s uniform, minus the coat.

“Yo.” Kyrie said aloud, once the human was close enough that she’d be able to see her. Kyrie had found that species without low-light vision got spooked if you spoke before they could see you, especially with a voice as grossly deep and rumbly as hers.

—

The sound Jen made could have been mistaken for the sound of a small bird as she practically jumped in surprise. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she’d failed to notice the woman leaning against the gantry.

When she’d descended into the engine room, avoiding the office and port 4 to make a beeline for the deepest part of the core, she’d put an unlit cigarette into her mouth to occupy her mind. It wasn’t until she noticed the cone-like object in the lioness’ mouth that she relaxed.

“Relax. I won’t tell if you won’t.” The woman’s voice, a low rumbling sound that was gruff and flippant, sounded over the low roar of the Ripper Core behind her. The glowing blue core cast her in a rim light that made her appear as if she had a halo around her. “Kyrie. Engineer First Class. Kyrie the Lioness if you want my government listing.” She pulled on her cone, seeming to wait for Jen’s response. Exos didn’t have surnames, not really. They only ever used their origin species as an identifier if one was required, due to their beginning as artificial creations and modifications of existing humans.

“Uhm… Jen. Dr. Jen Lesh. Junior Medical Officer.” She coughed out, eyeing the lioness as she approached. She’d heard of her, of course. When she came out, she got nonstop remarks about how they must know each other. She’d even signed the paperwork for refills on Kyrie’s HRT implant a few times, even before she started her own transition. Her own implant, a small capsule in her upper left arm itched at the thought. This was the first time she’d ever seen her in person though. Without hearing the name, she’d have never guessed that this was the Kyrie she’d heard so much about.

She was unmistakably feminine, with a husky voice that sent pleasant chills down Jen’s spine. Half a foot taller than her stout 5’6 frame, she was powerfully built with toned muscles and soft-looking golden fur. Her hair, which she had to assume was usually tied, was down to her mid-back and red like flames. Her eyes, feline and dilated in the low light conditions, were like silver rings around the void of a starless sky. All that on top of a body that screamed femininity and strength, unlike her own chubby stubbly mess.

“Here to smoke?” Kyrie’s voice cut through the awkward silence, and Jen realized she’d been staring. “Nothing here is open to air, so you’re not going to break anything.” The lioness added, flicking some ash down into the fathomless depths below the gantry. “When we land, the landing gear will drop any ash or butt remains out onto the pad, where it’ll be vaporized by the RCS Thrusters.” She spoke very matter-of-factly, as if she’d rehearsed it, or said it a million times before.

“That’s… that’s a very well thought out system.” Jen noted, still not having lit her own, the small white tube hanging from her lips. “Does the entire engineering corp smoke here?”

Kyrie seemed to shrug. “The ones that can. Mickey can’t on account of being Ephemeral. Poor guy.”

Jen latched onto that, realizing that she was staring at Kyrie’s chest. “Oh! He could if he possessed someone! Though that’d require signed consent forms, and a-”

“Valid purpose given for the possession. He knows.” Kyrie finished. 

“Oh, but smoking on the ship is prohibited so it’d be put under too much scrutiny.” Jen’s face turned red, realizing that she’d embarrassed herself just a little.

“I’m sure he’d appreciate the thought, little bird.” She took a drag and chuffed in amusement, looking at her with those reflective silver rings.

Jen had never felt dumber in her life. Face still red, she realized that she’d been standing there with an unlit cancer stick in her mouth the whole time. She began fishing in her pocket for a lighter, only to find… nothing. She checked the other, rummaging for a small cylinder that just wasn’t there until the words Kyrie said hit her brain and she stopped, hand plunged into her pocket.

Little Bird.

She felt her brain stop to process that. What did that mean? Was she making fun of her? Had she said something funny? 

What did it mean?! Her jaw tightened as she stopped to think, and part of her hated how squared off it felt, how big and protrusive it was, feeding into her insecurity. Was she saying her jaw was big?!

—

Watching the human go through her pockets, Kyrie took another drag on her spliff. She had to admit, it was kind of cute watching her brain short from a basic conversation. She’d been a little worried a minute ago, the human had seemed to be staring at her chest. She was ever so acutely aware of the red flecks of mane in her coat around her neck and chest, and how it was a bright gold instead of the tawny colour her mother had boasted. Then, the human stopped, and her face seemed to set into a queer face that almost made the buzzed lioness laugh. Her lips pursed, nose wrinkled, and her jaw set into an expression that could only be parsed as ‘thinking too hard’. It was adorable, and emphasised the softer qualities of her cheekbones.

“Lose your lighter?” Kyrie offered.

Jen seemed to shake herself out of her thoughts, her face still red around the ears. “I guess I left it back at my office. Damnit… I don’t think I can excuse going back and returning.”

“Stand with me a while.” Kyrie turned to face the core again. “I’ve got you little bird.”

Keeping the cigarette in her mouth, seemingly only to satisfy the oral fixation, Jen walked over to the gantry and took a position leaning on the rail to Kyrie’s left. “So that’s the Ripper Core?” she offered, small talk to pass the time, the lioness assumed.

“That’s the bitch.” Kyrie nodded, gesturing with her arm, using the cone as a makeshift pointer. “That orb there is concentrated Leyline energy, condensed into a sphere that pulls us along the guideline.” She gestured to the blue line that seemed to spear through the core as it randomly ejected arcs of energy.

“And because Leyline energy attracts itself, it works like a winch, pulling us through leyspace?” The little bird asked, and Kyrie’s head immediately whipped around to look at her. “I… uhm… I like to read the ship manuals when I have downtime.”

Now it was Kyrie’s turn to blush, though the colour was hidden, she felt the warmth behind her ears. “I mean, you know why it’s called a Ripper Drive, right?” The Lioness asked, more excited to talk about her field than she’d been in a long while.

Jen nodded, pushing up her glasses and closing her eyes, as if she was reading a manual written on her eyelids. “In the year 4236, the Military Exploration Ship Ripper of Fate was testing a prototype engine that overloaded and caused the ship to vanish. All hands were presumed lost, until the ship reappeared in 4270,”

“Where they’d discovered Leyspace and slowly jumped their way back to earth using the first discovered Leylines…” Kyrie finished.

“And the engine, with the modifications they’d made to it over the decades, became the basis for the very first Ripper Drive, with the name put forth by the ship’s captain-”

“Thaddeus M. Carlisle. The namesake of Thaddeus Station, in orbit around Makemake in Sol.” They both finished together. It was a history lesson. One that everyone learned at some point in school, but one that was near and dear to Kyrie’s heart. Her tail swished excitedly.

“And the engineer that is credited with most of the theory behind the initial modifications to get them home?” Kyrie asked, her full attention on the human, having to resist the urge to grin widely and show off her massive predator’s maw.

The doctor thought for a moment, needing to think. “Uh… I think it was… Oh! Kyrie Ingridsdottir!” She seemed to miss the pure joy on the Lioness’ face as she continued. “One of the people aboard that had worked on the original engine prototype, and later became one of the first Exohumans after an accident that crippled her. Though, her fight for Exohuman rights later in life made it so her contributions to the Ripper Drive are-” She stopped. “Wait. Did you take your name from-?”

“One of my childhood heroes? Hell yeah I did!” The Lioness’ tail was wrapped around the guardrail to stop it from whipping at any delicate machines in excitement. Kyrie was enraptured, listening to the human talk.

—

Jen felt another bashful twinge as she looked away from the lioness for a moment. “Sorry, I should have realized. Of course you know about her. You’re an engineer that shares the name.”

Kyrie suddenly reached out and gripped her chin, turning her head back to face her. “No, don’t be. That was… amazing.” The smile on her face lit the room up brighter than the Ripper Core could ever hope to, even as Jen’s face was no doubt hotter than the core to boot. “Honestly, when I was in school, they never even talked about Kyrie Ingridsdottir except during Exo History Week. I think-” The engineer stopped mid sentence as her left eye started flashing. She released Jen’s chin and tapped her temple with a sigh.

“Break’s over…?” Jen asked, feeling a pit in her stomach. 

“Unfortunately, little bird.” Kyrie said, taking one last pull on her cone. “But, if you’re ever in my neck of the woods again…”

“Near Engineering Office 3?” Jen asked, having remembered the assignments she checked previously.

“Port 4. 20 minutes. 1215 hours.” Kyrie added with a nod.

“Oh, dang it, my lighter.” Jen sighed, pulling the cig out of her mouth and looking at it. “Mind if I borrow yours until tomorrow?”

“And what if I need it?” Kyrie asked in return, and Jen’s heart sank. “I’ll light yours before I go though.”

Jen put the cigarette back in her lips and waited for a light. Instead, Kyrie leaned down with a hand on her shoulder and the last of her cone in her lips, and pressed the lit tip of the spliff to the unlit cigarette. She took a deep drag, and the end glowed a bright orange, illuminating their faces. When she pulled away, the cigarette was lit and Jen had no idea what burned brighter; the tip of her cigarette or her face.

“See you tomorrow, little bird.” Kyrie said as she walked back up the gantry, flicking the butt of her spliff into the deep bowels of the ship’s engines, where it would be never seen again. Jen stood there, dumbfounded, staring into the Ripper Core as Kyrie’s footsteps echoed further and further away.

Dr. Jennifer Lesh couldn’t believe what had happened over the last 15 minutes. Or that it had even been 15 minutes. Her mind raced over everything, every last detail. The beautiful engineer who’d seen all of her imperfections and ignored them, who’d listened to her and spoken of her interests in turn. 

Little bird. What did it mean?

She felt like a roiling current sat in the pit of her chest. Jen had no idea what the hell it meant, but she knew that she’d definitely be here tomorrow.

Port 4. 20 minutes. 1215 hours.

[ao3feed-gav900]

To Be Normal

https://ift.tt/QC2IfcH by squaridott “Two Seventeen am, Hank.” Connor answered, “And no, It’s a missing persons case.” “A missing persons case? At two in the goddamn morning?” Hank groaned as he got to his feet, assisted by Connor. The Android could see better now, assisted by the warm, yellow glow coming from the lamp. It was obvious the Lieutenant was exhausted, and if Connor could be, he probably would be, too. “Huh, must be a high-profile person to get them ropin’ in us. At two in the morning.” “Hm, not quite.” Conner hummed, a note of concern in his tone, “It’s Gavin Reed.” ------------------- Gavin Reed is a decorated detective. He'd worked his way up and fought hard to be where he was, so when he goes missing along with several others? It's certainly a shock. Especially when he's later found. But he's... different. ------------------- AKA, Gavin Androidisation AU HEAVILY INSPIRED BY "Adapting to New Norms" BY LunarKnight3 !!!! Words: 7711, Chapters: 5/?, Language: English Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: M/M Characters: Gavin Reed, Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Hank Anderson, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed, Hank Anderson & Connor, Gavin Reed & Gavin Reed's Cat, Tina Chen & Gavin Reed, Chris Miller & Gavin Reed, Tina Chen & Chris Miller & Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed Additional Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Gavin Reed Redemption, Android Gavin Reed, Forced Abortion, Transhumanism, Medical Experimentation, Medical, Crimes & Criminals, Crime Scenes, Stabbing, Body Dysphoria, Species Dysphoria, Species Swap, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Gavin Reed Being Less of an Asshole, Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), No Beta We Die Like Simon (Detroit: Become Human), Racism, But against Androids, android hate

[orangestorapples]

BITCHES

@timelessambivalence

A - Side

Rosalind was supposed to die. That was what was awaiting her at the end of the line, she spends her life rebelling against an impossible fate, and then, up at the crescendo, the climax of her own little chapter of history, she goes to fight the apotheosis of evil alongside her closest confidant... And dies. But. In spite of living this life, walking these steps imparted to her by visions of some nebulous concept of 'the most fortunate path,' in spite of resigning herself to never stray from it for fear of what looms in the unknown... at the last step she changes her mind. In that last, pivotal fight, as fate itself reaches out with its crook to drag her off of the stage, clearing the way for the real main characters of the story... She doesn't. She fights tooth and nail, using her visions as a guidework to dodge attacks she knew were coming, to avoid the culling fork of the alien dictator and fight. Fight to the bitter end. It doesn't change anything, not in that moment. She does not kill Her Imperious Condescension, but she makes her bleed. Is that not enough for a life as storied as hers? And yet, the butterfly still beats its wings...

@orangestorapples

B - Side

David was going to die. That was what was waiting for him at the end of the line. He could feel it, the seconds ticking away to the moment his life would end. He goes to face his final battle with a smile and a laugh on his lips with his closest friend... And dies. But... In spite of doing as directed, marching forward as was demanded by the ticking in his ears and the visions in his friend's eyes, resigning himself to the end she said would secure the victory for his son... reaching the end of his scene and falling into the void of nothing at the end, being unmade just as he always knew he would... He doesn't. He felt his death, the toll of an unseen clock ringing in his head, and feeling a hand reach for the key and winding it up again. The ticking is forced to continue, off-beat and fundamentally wrong in ways he couldn't imagine. He doesn't know what happened. He wakes when he shouldn't. Hasn't he given enough? And yet, the butterfly still beats its wings...

Chapters: 1/?

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Gen

Fandom: Homestuck

Relationships: Dirk's Bro | Alpha Dave Strider & Roxy's Mom | Alpha Rose Lalonde; Roxy Lalonde & Roxy's Mom | Alpha Rose Lalonde; Roxy Lalonde & Dirk Strider

Characters: Dirk Strider; Auto-Responder | Lil Hal; Dirk's Bro | Alpha Dave Strider; Roxy Lalonde; Roxy's Mom | Alpha Rose Lalonde

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Body Horror; Drama; Fluff and Angst; Comedy of Errors; Shaking Fist At HIC; Dirk Brand Paranoia; POV Alternating; Rose is trying her best; Dave is questioning his life choices; Pre-Sburb (Homestuck); Trollstuck; but only partially; Species Dysphoria

[paracosmic-gt]

Warning: vent/feelings below about body looking human, reality checking, species dysphoria, and isolation

If anyone has any advice on coming out of this, or just relate to this feeling, please comment. Part of this is dysphoria I feel makes me "invalid" due to identifying as a holothere, knowing others experience it too would really be a benefit.

-J

---

I feel like at some point I was very convinced the body is nonhuman, now it feels like that has lessened. I feel like I have no concrete proof, and it's very disappointing to me. It feels dysphoric and uncomfortable. I still don't believe it is 100% human, I think that would cause me some kind of major crash out because part of the reason I see the NH is our system. Someone trying to get me to disbelieve that would just be really detrimental.

I more feel like...if it always looks human, what's the point? If everyone misses my nonhumanity, what's the point in proclaiming it is there? I can barely see it anymore. I'm always disappointed with it. Hypermobility that brought me joy now comes with pain to remind me this body doesn't do what I ask. It is almost there but falls short. I don't have any "special traits" to fall back on, to assure myself. Calling the hands paws just feels like I'm lying to myself cause they're not, the skin is sucked tight and void of fat and muscle. I feel shrink wrapped. I feel thin and twiggy. I feel uncomfortable.

I don't know if as a holothere I am allowed to feel uncomfortable. So many others have this air about them, either they experience things like seeing their nonhuman form which proves it, or somehow they remain faithful in their body as not a human body. It seems I am the only one sometimes (even though I know it's not true). It feels like as a holothere I'm not allowed to be dysphoric, because if my body is wholly nonhuman surely I should be happy. But I feel trapped in the body of what is a pseudohuman thing, so far from my own form. The organ, blood, brain, cell, gene being nonhuman doesn't even fix things, cause on the outside, it still looks it.

I want to tear it all off...

There is nothing I have believed that hasn't ended in disappointment. I'm starting to think I'll be trapped as a hominid forever. That scares me a lot.

I'll be getting out of front now, my partners calling me back to my real body. Staying around in this vessel too long has me writing shit like this.

[species-dysphoria-culture-is]

Would this count as species dysphoria?: Wishing I could shift more easily/more frequently because it feels very affirming. I want to know more about my specific kintype (like whether I have wings/horns/spikes), but most of the time, my phantom shifts (snout, tail, fangs) are voluntary and more like a sensation on an existing part of my human body.

I used to think I was alterhuman before, then stopped because I felt like my involuntary shifts were too infrequent and mild, and that they were best explainable by my neurodivergence (like sticking my tongue out and wanting to lay down in a dragon-like way being stims). I thought that being explainable by neurodivergence meant that my alterhumanity was fake. Recently I have been questioning that assumption, in part because my sister confided in me that she sometimes feels she has a tail. I still feel a bit like an imposter. Am I?

It also sucks (and is possibly species dysphoria?) that when I lay down on my chest with my arms in front of me, I need to be careful to not put too much stress on my shoulders and chin. I sometimes want to curl up but I can't (or it puts too much strain on my back). In addition, whenever I have tried quadrobics, it just makes me feel like my limbs are all wrong, like there is no way to do it that feels right and doesn't exhaust me too quickly. The best I have been able to do is crawl like a lizard, but I can only do so briefly. My tendonitis in my wrists does not help this, to say the least. Is any of this species dysphoria or am I misunderstanding something? Thank you for your time and effort running this blog.

there are several questions here so i will do my best! (warning the brain has not been braining recently)

Wishing I could shift more easily/more frequently because it feels very affirming

oh absolutely. huge mood. keyword affirming- if it makes you More Comfy (euphoria) there is a chance it is also an alleviation of Uncomfy (dysphoria) (not always but there is a chance)

I thought that being explainable by neurodivergence meant that my alterhumanity was fake. Recently I have been questioning that assumption, in part because my sister confided in me that she sometimes feels she has a tail. I still feel a bit like an imposter. Am I?

nope! not at all! one trick i've learned is if you're asking yourself if you're faking/an imposter, you're not. if you were faking, you'd know. it's an intentional action, not an accidental one- no matter how internalized unsure-ness there is! also, a lot of times alterhumanity IS related to neurodivergence! that doesn't make it ANY less real of an experience/identity!

for your last paragraph: feeling that your body can't move properly/feeling like your limbs are all wrong are very often species dysphoria! (i unfortunately do not know much about tendonitis but i do wish you luck with it, pain is always frustrating!!)

ultimately it comes down to whether the label(s) feel comfy to you. if it makes your brain click or go "!!" that's a symptom of it being Correct. but in my opinion, sounds very alterhuman to me! wishing you luck!

[somebodytolove31]

That's right I'm doing OCtober too!

Day 1: Favorite OC

Now the thing is, my favorite oc changes all the time, it depends on which of my stories I'm fixated on at the moment, however if you want to know about the current one it's

The Detective

Yes his name is just that. He doesn't really have a name yknow

He is basically a Mary Sue self insert oc, except instead of being cool and perfect he's pathetic and lame and smells of wet dog constantly.

He is a creature of darkness, an extraterrestrial species, but due to being a runt he was abandoned to earth when he was born, because of this he spent most of his puphood being considered a monster by the humans around him (his main form being a wolf thing didn't do him any favors).

This changed when The Goddess of Darkness (the God which creatures of darkness worship) visited earth and found him, she found him cute and decided to teach him how to use his powers to blend with human society, as it turns out creatures of darkness are able to shape-shift, the Detective isn't very good at it because of the whole runt thing, but with training he got a lot better at masking as a human.

The Detective fell in love with Darkness, seeing her as his savior, Darkness however didn't really give a shit about him. They lived together for around 5 years, which while on earth years it's a long time, for a goddess who has lived since the start of time it's as if it just were a minute. And so one day she left without warning, not worrying at how this would affect the Detective.

Now you may be asking when does the whole detective thing come in, well despite him having been hated by humans for all his life, the Detective decided to become an unlicensed private investigator to help those in need to the best of his abilities. He is surprisingly good at his job, having a good reputation around the people in his city who, despite being mildly afraid of him for his off-putting demeanor, respect him and appreciate his help.

All of his life experiences have left the Detectice bitter and depressed, never feeling as if he has actually accomplished anything, that man could save a whole schoolbus of orphans and still consider himself to be nothing but scum who has to make up for being scum. His species dysphoria doesn't help, being in a weird inbetween of human and animal, incapable of being human and incapable of being inhuman.

Tldr he's a weird werewolf thing with depression