#source: myself

[percabethconvos]

Annabeth IM-ing Thalia: Yeah I'm probably going to be a little late

Thalia: Why?

Annabeth: Percy and I were cuddling and he fell asleep on me

Thalia: So move him?

Annabeth: Absolutely not.

[teenwolf-incorrectquotes]

Stiles: It's suck session Sunday! Scott: Oh, cool, I didn't know you watched Succession! Stiles: What are you talking about? I mean I'm going over to Derek's place tonight.

[bambinafangirls]

penelope: luke’s homosexual, actually!

luke, confused: i’m literally puerto rican?!??

[eterniravioli]

how to be happy as a max verstappen fan:

delete twitter

listen to f1tv commentators instead of sky sports

embrace your inner hater

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

Peng: Looks like the coward has come to die!

Macaque: I know, but don’t you think it seems kind of counterintuitive to call yourself a coward?

Peng: *Stutters in frustration* 

Macaque: *grinning like a maniac*

[juiles]

Y/N: *part of the new gen of avengers* i’ve decided i am a gremlin in the shape of a human that lives off spite and pettiness.

Clint: *spits out coffee*

Wanda: *visibly concerned*

Natasha: wha- I-

Peter: mood

Yelena: accurate.

Kate: i feel that.

Tony: *full on confused* what the HELL just happened?!

[eros-ghoulette]

Eating ice cream

Swiss: Hazelnut tastes awfully bitter Aether: Aether: Swiss: extremely shocked That's walnut!!!!

[mesmerize-the-mayhem]

Klaus: people are like trash cans...

Five: ?

Klaus: you stomp on their feet and their mouths opens...

Five: *sigh*

Klaus: oh, you don't believe me? LUTHER!

Luther: *comes in* what?

Klaus: *stomp on his feet*

Luther: *open mouth to yell*

Klaus: see?

Five: I see what you meant... *chuckle, eye roll* idiots.

[sleepingin-cemeteries]

Jujutsu Kaisen as things my friends have said

nobara: “lesbian are cool”. just the one. it’s me.

~~~~

nobara: let’s play charades. i’m an animal *giraffe motions*

yuuji: elephant

~~~~

maki: i feel targetted

nobara: but you have nice boobs. i like your boobs

~~~~

megumi: teachers don’t get first names. they gave up that right when they decided to get a teaching degree

~~~~

yuuji: atheist. isn’t that spelled like athletes?

~~~~

gojo, after meeting megumi: i am being slut shamed by a four year old child

~~~~

yuuji: is there an among us kanji??

~~~~

yaga: hey, i’m not gonna have any male slut shaming...even if gojo is one

~~~~

yuki tsukumo: full time bisexual, part time lesbian

~~~~

shoko: liquor? i hardly know her

~~~~

yuuji: what does school stand for? suicide cool however under oath lame

~~~~

gojo: get yassified shitass

~~~~

gojo: 1 prop z interval to determine the hotness of presidents

~~~~

nobara: he looks so deeply sad it makes you want to fuck him more. keep in mind i’m a lesbian

~~~~

gojo: i’m descended from-

megumi: clowns

~~~~

yuuji: why would i take a photo of her boobs?

nobara: idk emotional support??

~~~~

yuuji: just deep fry things. don’t be a pussy, be an american

~~~~

megumi: i’m gonna be a hero amoungst the crunchy parents except i’ll be vaccinated

~~~~

gojo: some people use drugs. i use shamrock shakes

~~~~

nobara: it’s weird to hear people talk about being oppressed when they look like they’d call me a slur

~~~~

megumi: you’re not whipping, you’re just hitting me

~~~~

yuuji: my favorite drug: diet cocaine

nobara: now with less drugs

~~~~

gojo: you can’t be a whore if you’re dead

~~~~

yuuji, holding up a pair of sparkly red booty shorts: what are these?

gojo: my weekend plans

~~~~

yuuji: ieiri-sensei has suggested we eat actual food

megumi: excuse you...this *gestures to a bag of takis* has a lime on it

~~~~

gojo: we have new rules about abandonment bc i have issues

~~~~

megumi: who’s that guy sitting next to yoda? do i know him from somewhere?

yuuji: ........that’s samuel l jackson

~~~~

nobara: motherfucker, you can’t be gru when you’re the size of kevin

~~~~

nobara: i’d drown you inthe ocean’s water if i wasn’t so afraid of it

~~~~

bonus quote: spoiler for jujutsu kaisen. eren jeager got his hand chopped off

[percabethconvos]

Percy: There's a fine line between genius and insanity and Annabeth likes to jump rope with it

[kupofdoodles]

how to tell if a writer loves a character

1. they giv the character lots of headcanons

2. they project onto the character a lot

3. they give character a f💥k ton of angst

[bambinafangirls]

*helping a drunk luke get dressed for bed*

spencer: babe, i can’t get your pants over your ass

luke, smiling: thanks

[oldmanyaoi-jpeg]

youtube was a game changer for kids with undiagnosed autism and unrestricted internet access in the 2000s

[nolongeronlyhereforthewhispangle]

Tangle: Hey Lanny, you have a crush on Barry or something? Lanolin, obviously flustered: Um... no… why do you, uh…, ask? Tangle: Your reaction to that question is exactly why I asked.

[juiles]

Natasha: i’m running off 2 starbursts, 3 hours of sleep and spite. i’m ready to either fight god or die.

Wanda: maybe we should go to bed…

Y/N: let’s fight god!!!!! *battle cries as they run out the door*

Wanda: i live with psychopaths.

[blueohs]

Jisung: drunk words are sober thoughts

Chan: you literally yelled "IDENTITY THEFT IS A CRIME, I KNOW YOU'RE AN IMPOSTOR" at our kitchen sponge yesterday because it's round and you thought it was trying to copy SpongeBob SquarePants...

Chan: if these are your everyday thoughts, I'd be a little worried...