#soul shattering great works of fiction

[ahwuum]

alright this is a total shot in the dark but i am DESPERATELY trying to find the great sealand takeover by whalehuntingboyfriends on ao3 and i saw your name floating around in some of the tumblr notes. did anybody ever send you the download for that? i would love to have it if they did! thanks in advance!

I only ever asked for the link for the crowned souls series but here my friend tender posted a link ages ago for sealand <3

sorry I took so long to reply I forgor </3

also speaking of fanfics if anyone has mindfulwrath's murder with the devil and friends (espeically the full devil's clocktower series) I would greatly appreciate it <3

[exculpateinteractivefiction]

"All suffering originates from craving, from attachment, from desire." - Edgar Allan Poe

Exculpate: The Fall from Grace is an upcoming 18+ action packed and fantastical interactive fiction novel. Loosely inspired by media like “My Hero Academia”, “Bungou Stray Dogs”, “Jujutsu Kaisen”, “The X-Men” and “Titans”.

Tags: [Urban Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Romance, Drama, LGBTQIA+, Textbased]

The Astra. In the years after the war it was a name that had grown familiar. A select group of individuals who had gained special abilities after the…incident. They are powerful. They are talented. They are gifted.

And you’re one of them.

Or at least you were around a decade ago. Before you made the mistake.  The type of colossal fuck up that blows up your apparently  flimsy life in a matter of minutes. The kind that has you running away and starting completely over. That kind.

Now instead of using your worthless ability to save people, you are stuck using it for much more…aggressive work. More effective work. Or at the very least work that pays better. The only cost seems to be your sorry excuse for morals. Trading your soul and sense of justice for a paycheck. What could go wrong?

It was manageable. Meaningful even. Something that gave purpose to the now shattered pieces of your life.

Everything was great.

...until you got a hit for the strongest hero in existence. Wonderful.

Play a former hero turned assassin turned…“hero” but not really .

Customize your character’s name, appearance, personality, and gender identity.

Develop a better understanding of your dreadful ability.

Explore and navigate complex relationships with six unique romantic options.

Kill your former best friend and betray old allies and new ones alike!

Come face to face with your past (both the choices you’ve made and the people in it).

Repent for your mistakes…or continue making them.

The Hero (Your Target): Maverick “Mav” Kingston (He/Him)

Maverick Kingston, your current target and the strongest member of Astra. The strongest, period. He is unstoppable - unreachable - unattainable. You would know as his (former) best friend.

Appearance: Maverick is the embodiment of “perfection” and that crosses over into his looks. He is roughly 6’1” and is quite lean. He has vibrant light blue eyes and a head of messy blonde hair that seems to always fall perfectly into place.

Personality: Maverick’s greatest flaw is undeniably his personality. To put it bluntly, he’s the best and he knows it. He manages to come across as nonchalant and egotistical on a good day - often just messing around or teasing both his enemies and coworkers alike, and while he can be quite charismatic, his laidback and annoying disposition tends to steer most people away. Although, you get the feeling that there seems to be something deeper lying beneath the surface even after all these years…

The Strategist: Carmen Reyes (She/Her)

Carmen Reyes, lead strategist of the Astra and to put it bluntly the only one with any common sense. She is an intimidating presence - although that might just be due to her title of the best hand to hand combatant of the Astra. You used to be co-workers and classmates but that was a long time ago.

Appearance: Carmen’s beauty is just another thing that adds to her imposing nature. She is roughly 5’11” and has spent years building up her muscular physique. She has curly dark brown hair that rests just below her chin and surprisingly sharp hazel eyes that seem to track your every move…

Personality: Carmen can be considered reserved and wise at best and completely distant at worst. She has a professional air to her that most officials and authority respect, but it can come across as aloof or boring especially when comparing her to the loud personalities that the rest of the Astra has. That’s not to say she is uncaring though - in fact she is arguably the most moral of the group - or at least she was back when you were a member…

The Heart: Silas Jones (He/Him)

Silas Jones, arguably the kindest member of the Astra. He’s excitable and naive - if not a bit endearing. He tends to act as the mediator between the public and the other members of the Astra when necessary. You don’t remember being particularly close with him back when you were in the Astra so it’s surprising how desperately he seems to want your attention now…

Appearance: Silas is roughly 5’8” and has dark brown skin with glowing silver marks scattered across his body. He has black locs that have been dyed red at the tips and dark brown eyes that seem to pull you in wherever you go…

Personality: Silas is easily the nicest of the group and can be quite soothing especially compared to the harsher personalities of the other members and higher ups of the Astra. He is incredibly open and energetic, if not a bit naive. He cares very deeply for the people around him and that clearly extends to you even after all these years. It does make you wonder why he is so interested though…

The Healer: Juno Aceso (She/Her)

Juno Aceso, head of the healing and medical department at Astra. She isn’t what most people expect when they hear the words “doctor” but she is a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of the group. You were close with her back when you were in the Astra…or at least as close as you can be with someone like her.

Appearance: Juno is roughly 5’5”. She has deathly pale skin and dark eyebags that frame her murky green eyes. Her straight chestnut colored hair lands right at her chest, though she usually keeps it up in a bun.

Personality: If Carmen is distant and Maverick is nonchalant then Juno is on a whole other level. She is practically apathetic with her laidback nature and tends to be quite removed from everyone else. That’s not to say she has no personality though. She can be incredibly snarky and sarcastic when she wants to be. Unsurprisingly, she seems the least invested in your return. Although you get an odd feeling whenever she glances your way…

The Star: Payton Monroe (They/Them)

Payton Monroe is nothing if not a star. They embrace the celebrity status that comes with being a member of the Astra with open arms. You weren’t particularly close with them back when you were in the Astra but you heard the rumors of their exploits…

Appearance: Payton is roughly 5’7” and seems to make it their life’s goal to make themself as appealing as possible. They have ivory colored skin and dazzling lavender eyes. Their hair is shoulder length and white with streaks of pink going through it.

Personality: Payton is someone who has no issue embracing the finer things in life. They are far more interested in the public image aspect of being a member of the Astra and that comes across in nearly every interaction. While they are quite flirtatious, they seem to hold no interest in pursuing an actual relationship. Maybe you’ll be the one to change that…

The Newbie: Amari Gray (Gender Selectable)

Amari Gray, the newest member of the Astra. Not much is known about them - they joined after you left and they don’t seem exactly interested in getting to know you. They tend to be annoyed with you more often than not but you get the feeling that they are that way with most people. Although, their constant avoidance towards you specifically is quite odd…

Appearance: Amari is roughly 5’3”. They have tan skin and sharp gray eyes that seem to be set in a perpetual glare. They have thick white hair that is currently styled as a short undercut. They have a few piercings and tattoos.

Personality: You don’t know much about Amari but one thing you do know is that they don’t like you. They are either actively avoiding you or are going out of their way to pick fights with you. They seem incredibly familiar which makes their determination on making your life miserable even weirder…

DEMO TBA

[ohtobeleah]

Day Eight [Lethal Weapon]

Summary: During an intense interrogation, your existence is made obsolete when half the population is turned to dust. What felt like a mere five minutes was in fact— five years. With the knowledge that Hydra was once again rising with intentions more sinister then the last, you do the job you were originally sent out to do. Protect Sargent James Buchanan Barnes at whatever means necessary.

Warnings: Violence. Violence against women. Undercover Agent. Bucky Barnes x F!reader. Hurt!reader.

Word Count: 3.7k

Whumptober Prompt Day Eight: Rope burns, gagged, “You’re so much prettier this way.”

Author Note: Please make sure you read the warnings provided. Disclaimer: I do not condone nor endorse the actions that are written about during the month of October. These works of fiction are just that, fiction and should be treated as such. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for this year's prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“You’re so much prettier this way dear,” The bone-cracking, earth-shattering sounds behind the knuckle busters that connected with the side of your cheek, were enough to drown out a room full of men who seemed to take great pride in their work. Silence filled the underground hideaway, a derelict sewer under the streets of Los Angeles. Men of all backgrounds were stunned into silence as you groaned. Crimson blood dripped from your mouth like a leaking tap. You stared straight into their souls as you spat the rest that had pooled between your lips onto the ground before you. 

You turned your head, slowly, but surely, to look back at the man who’d most likely broken your jaw. Through swollen eyes, you gave him a daring look. Challenging him with a small, all-knowing smirk, as the eyes of the men who stood behind him, watching on, stood as still as time. All were unable to breathe under what they’d consider to be the stupidity of some ‘silly girl’ playing eye spy.

“Is—is that the—“ You struggled to speak, trying to steady your vision as your head felt flimsy. “Is that all you’ve got?” You’d only ever known him by one name. O'neill. But as you spent more personal time getting to know the man who’d been powering up the old elitist, the sadistic, the narcissistic, the god awful power hungry world dominating psychopaths that still believed in the ideologies that Hydra had operated on. You’d come to know his first name too. Vincent Hickory. His loyalist henchmen called him Vick. An underground drug Tycoon, gang boss with a wicked mean streak. “Thought you were supposed to be some sort of heartless, show no remorse, prick?” 

O’Neill’s calloused and bruised up hand intertwined itself in the bird’s nest of a mess that was your blood-soaked hair. He didn’t hold back as he pulled your head back to expose your neck. Hissing sharply through bloodied, gritted teeth, you tried your best to focus on the man who towered over you like some deranged God. Like a man who would stop at nothing until he got what he wanted. 

James Bucanan Barnes. 

“You really think now is the time to be a fucking smart-ass, dear?” O’Neill sneered. His face was so close to yours you could almost feel his lips on yours in a way you never wanted to. “You’ve got a lot of nerve Miss Y/l/n,” The tone he used sent shivers down your spine. This may have been your job, to remain composed under pressure, but you were only human. And above all? You were a woman in a very compromised position. “Now, tell me where Barnes is before I decide you’re life is meaningless.”

“I don’t know where—“ You didn’t get a chance to finish your sentence before the back of O’Neill’s hand was colliding with your swollen, cut and bruised cheek. You couldn’t help the yelp that escaped from you. “I swear—“ Again, every time you said you didn’t know, over and over, until you felt your lungs collapsing under the pressure of broken ribs. The chair your broken body was bound to was surely about to break. The ropes that bound you dug into fragile skin—leaving behind burns. “I don’t know where he is,” You whispered. O’Neill sighed, obviously disappointed. He knew you were lying right to his face or else you wouldn’t be here. “I wouldn’t tell you if I did, so just kill me, because you aren’t getting shit from me,” The overwhelming urge to allow your body to succumb to the injuries you’d had inflicted upon you, was beginning to sound like a pretty good idea. “Barnes is well out of your reach, asshole.” 

As you waited for the final blow. The bullet wound that would surely take you out. The possible stable wound, the final blow, something—anything. You tried to remember why you were doing what you were doing. What you were so desperately trying to protect. Who you were trying to protect. Of course, you knew where James Buchanan Barnes was—he was in Wakanda. Halfway across the world, recovering. It was in the case file Nick Fury had given you.

“Agent Y/l/n—“ You heard your name being called from the chief Dawson’s office. Unbeknownst to you at the time, it was the start of a new way of life. Everything you’d ever known was about to change, be thrown out the window. You relinquished your toasted cheese and ham sandwich from your grasp and sighed to yourself as you dropped it onto your partner’s desk on the paper plate it came on. Lewis wasn’t all that impressed, but he’d just have to deal with the fresh aroma of grilled cheese and ham for a few moments of his precious time. You haphazardly balled up the napkin you’d whipped your face with as you looked at Lewis with a puzzled expression of curiosity and slight annoyance. You’d been sitting on his desk with your legs hung over the side, casually trying to enjoy a quick lunch. A somewhat luxury event on any given day. 

 “A moment please? If I’m not interrupting?” The chief's sarcasm was just as tasteful as your lunch. 

“This is a dear friend of mine,” You couldn’t help by to stare at the eyepatch that covered severe scares as you shut the door behind you softly. You took a seat graciously as you frowned your brows in confusion. “This here is Nick Fury, he’d like you to work a case in liaison with what was formerly known as S.H.E.I.L.D,” 

“I wasn’t aware S.H.E.I.L.D was still a thing?” You responded with more questions in your tone than excitement. Fury handed you the very case file that changed your life. As you took the manilla file, Fury crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned back on Chief Dawson’s desk. Taking you in for all that you were. One of the greats the CIA had to offer

“You’d be on your own essentially,” Fury explained very cutthroat-like. “I need someone who can disappear. Dissolve themselves. Hide in plain sight. I need someone who can take down an organisation that’s like a parasite once and for all.” Fury was as serious as you’d ever heard someone be. “I hear you’re interested in the Secret Service?” Fury questioned as you flipped through the case file, nodding quietly in response. 

“I can promise an in if you do this for me, I’m all outta options at this stage in the game,” It was a career-changing opportunity you’d been chasing for years, you’d been trying to prove yourself, be noticeable, be better than the rest. You looked over at Chief Dawson who offered you a supportive smirk. It was as easy as leading a camel to water, but it just so happened to be one of the most manipulative things Nick Fury had ever done. But he was determined to get to job done, he didn’t want an army of Super Soldiers running around. He could barely handle the ones he’d come into contact with so far.

“I’ll do it—“ You never should’ve said yes. “I’ll do anything, sir.” 

You weren’t going to be the person to take that away from Bucky, especially since you’d been tasked to try and infiltrate and assassinate the very people who demanded that something beyond his life was of import to them. His blood. The very serum that pumped through his veins. 

“You should have just killed me when you found me, it could have saved you a lot of fucking time and energy, Vinnie Boy,” You could feel your body slowly giving up on you. The very desire to just give into temptation and close your eyes was coaxing you to the edge. But you had to hold on, even just for a moment. 

“You’re either naive or stupid, or possibly both,” O’Neill hissed, his open hand came down against your face—leaving a stinging sensation that burned your broken skin. It was the final blow your body couldn't handle as you gave into unconsciousness. 

O’Neill turned to his men, not missing the opportunity to spit at your feet as you gave into the darkness. He watched with great pride in his soulless heart as you slumped over yourself. The ropes that bound you, the very ropes that were covered in mould and dirt, supported your dead weight against the chair. 

“Fuckin’ get rid of her,” O’Neill demanded his men through a thick Irish accent that you’d never be able to ride from your memory. “Dump her somewhere—make sure she’s dead and buried, because I don’t want her fuckin’ comin’ back.” Smirking as he leaned over, O’Neills hands dug into his knees for support as he leaned in to kiss your blooded forehead. He guided your unstable head forward by a hand to the back of your head before he softly placed a kiss on your forehead. “Seeya later princess, it was nice knowing you,“ The wink he sent you as you drifted in and out of unconsciousness would have sent a shiver down your spine on a good day. But this was a bad day, a very fucking bad day. 

O’Neill slid a piece of gum casually into his mouth. Something you should have told him he needed early if you still had your wit. But let’s be honest for a moment, shall we? He totally beat the ever-living shit out of you. 

“Hail Hyrda,” He chewed with a grin before turning on his heels to leave. O’Neill pulled a gun from the small of his back. It had been tucked away into his jeans under his shirt. The small of ones back could hide a plethora of things if you used your creativity. 

As you held onto reality, you watched with heavy eyes as he checked the clip casually before handing it heavily to his second-in-command, Miles Müller. “Between the eyes,” He murmured in Miles’s ear, loud enough so you could hear it still. 

Damn it—he was just a fucking kid. It wasn’t long before Miles had his hands on you, un-tying the ropes that bound you. He began to drag you along the concrete as you doubled over, leaving a trail of blood from your broken body. He was struggling just as much as you were. How could a kid do this? How the hell were you supposed to fight a kid? 

“Walk—“ Miles hissed. You didn’t listen. You continued to struggle against his grasp as you fell to the ground with a heavy thud. The gun in Mile’s hand fell beside you, exactly how you’d hoped it would. You were quick, too quick for the kid. In just a blink of an eye through clouded vision, you turned from your stomach to your back, firing at anyone and anything you could make out. 

“Touch me again and I’ll fucking kill you,” You spat, pointing the gun directly at Miles as he held his hands up beside his head. You couldn’t even stand, but you had a damn gun. The odds evened out. “The CIA knows you’re here, it’s over Müller.”

“I can’t,” Mile’s voice broke, he was just a kid, barely eighteen. “It can’t be—you don’t know what they’ll do if you do this,” It almost sounded as if he was begging you to give up, he was scared—terrified even. “Vick won’t stop until he gets what he wants,”

“At the expense of others!” You hissed. You struggled to hold your upper body weight on one elbow. It dug into gravel as you held the gun high at Miles. Tears began to well in his golden eyes. Almost hazel looking. 

“It’s always been at the expense of others Agent, I just go with whatever Vick tells me to do,” There was something deeper, something more sinister behind Miles’s reasonings for doing the things he did. Why would an eighteen-year-old stumble his way into organised crime? The answer, you don’t stumble unless you’re shoved.

“But why? You’re just a kid, Miles, I can hel-help you.” Your head felt so heavy but everything else felt weak, light as a feather, goosebumps were rising all over your entire body. So many different sensations were taking over your body all at once. “You don’t have to live a life you don’t want to, I can protect you, at all costs,” 

“He’ll kill me,” Was all Miles replied with, but it broke your heart. He was just as scared as you were.

“Guess we have that in common huh?” Your stomach churned, your head throbbed, your blood boiled and everything, everything hurt. “C’mon, help me out kid, I can help you,” You slowly started the lower your gun—shaking. But at the sight of your weakness? Miles jumped you. Swatting the gun from your grip as he straddled your waist. He pinned you down by your neck as his hands constricted your airways. “Miles—“ You gasped, clawing at his arms in a last-ditch effort to save your own life. “Don’t, do, this,” 

“Cut off one head, two more shall take its place,” Miles spat, his grip only tightened as you began to panic. Choking you out as your legs began to fade. Turn to dust. It felt like nothingness. Slowly but surely, the feeling crept its way up your body.

“I’m so over hearing you psychopaths say that,” You choked out, Miles fell to the floor, your body disappeared before him, his hands gripped together as your neck dissolved under his touch. Panic consumed his entire being as he scrambled away—horrified. What had he done? He was only eighteen.

“Jesus Christ—“ Looking around, Miles panicked. He grabbed the gun you’d lost in the scrabble before sprinting off to find Vick. Hoping his poorly put-together cover story would pass. He’d finished the job, six feet under, dead and buried, a non-issue to the new world order O’Neill was so set on achieving—an elitist power. “Hail Hydra,” 

At the same time half way across the world, Bucky Barnes felt the same unimaginable sensation you had. The feeling of pins and needles, nothingness, weightlessness. Looking around aimlessly for his best friend with a worried look and concern plastered across his one-hundred-year-old face. 

“Steve?” 

It felt like you’d passed out, fallen asleep under the aid of heavy painkillers. You came to on the gravel, groggy-headed and confused. You pushed yourself up onto your knees as you felt your face. Normal—unscathed, like the beating you’d just taken never happened. Besides a throbbing headache, you felt fine. As you looked around the derelict sewer-style hide-away, you only had one question. 

Where had everyone gone?

                   Five Years’ and One Month later

Bucky Barnes sat eyeing off the receptionist who looked way too familiar for his paranoia. His leg shook as he tossed the idea back and forth. Should he say hello? With his gloved hands intertwined with one another, Bucky let out a sigh as he stood—sauntering over to the receptionist counter in the lobby of the building where he regularly saw his court-mandated therapist. Christina Raynor. 

Making his presence known, Bucky reached into the bowl of hard, single-wrapped candies. He popped one into his mouth as he leaned over the counter. It was one of those counters like in doctors’ surgeries—the ones that are higher and hide the staff behind them. 

“I know you from somewhere other than here—I can’t put my finger on it?” Bucky’s voice was soft, like he was afraid that his question would either startle you or annoy you. He was still learning to make conversation, struggling just slightly more with those he found attractive. “You spying on me?” Bucky teased, it was the first thought that came to his mind. Maybe you were some Russian spy? that’s where he’d known you, seen you. Were you a friend of friends from work? Had he accidentally stumbled across you while in his former Winter Soldier days? Were you an assassin? Or were you simply a face he didn’t want to forget? Whatever it was, whoever you were, Bucky didn’t think his simple question, the one that dripped with sarcasm, would receive the reaction he got.

“What?” You quickly shot your head up with wide eyes, looking at Bucky like you’d seen a ghost. “No? What makes you say that?” You tried to play your reaction off. Simply turning back to your monitor—trying to calm the fuck down. “There’s no such thing as spies, right? Aren’t they reserved for James Bond movies?” You tried to keep your head low and eyes engaged with the documents that lit up your monitor. The patient profile of Doctor Raynor’s current patient Michelle Pascoe. 

Bucky frowned his brows—surely you were kidding. He chose to ignore the comment and persevere in his mission to remember where he’d seen you before.

“Have I seen you at Izzy’s?” Bucky asked politely. “My neighbour Yori makes me go there with him. He’s this sweet old man who’s only got a few people around him,” Bucky was rambling, he knew that. But he couldn’t help himself. He’d seen you somewhere. He was determined to remember. 

You sighed softly, you knew Yori. You’d occasionally help him bring in his groceries up to his apartment. The brown paper bags would always break. You’d only known him about a week and in that time he’d managed to need your assistance five out of seven days.

“The apartment complex on Fifth Avenue, apartment 3B, pretty sure you’re 3C? ” You hadn’t even looked up from your computer monitor. “I’ve seen you around a few times, Yori? Nice guy—likes the patterns on the sundress I wore when I helped him pick up the apples that’d broken through the bottom of the grocery bag,” You chuckled. “I just moved in, maybe a week ago now? Still refurbishing the place—the landlady Mrs Shapiro, she was very quick to warn me about the psycho killer who I was moving next door to—made me sign a waiver and everything.”

“I’ll need your first, last, and security deposit, my dear. Are you sure you want to move in here? I don’t know if I feel comfortable with the man who’d be living next door.” Leaning closer the little old woman whispered in your ear. “He’s the Winter Soldier—“You held your tongue, never had you ever been more offended on someone’s behalf before. Maybe it was because you’d spent the better half of the last few months learning everything there was to know about James Buchanan Barnes—pre and post-Winter Soldier. Faking a soft smile you nodded. Excepting that ignorance could be bliss. 

“Really just need an apartment, Mrs Shapiro, I’ll take it.”

Finally, you looked up to meet Bucky’s blueberry eyes and sheepish smile. He was still leaning over the counter on his elbows. He looked tired—like he’d barely slept. It wasn’t hard to understand why, you could sometimes hear the screams that echoed off the walls in Bucky’s apartment. Exercising his own demons, the ones that plagued his subconscious memory. 

“Great—I love that.” Bucky sighed, shaking his head softly in disappointment—of course that little old Vietnamese woman saw Bucky as a monster. Of course, she did. Bucky carded his fingers nervously through his recently cut hair, still not used to the change of weight that usually dawned his head. 

“I wouldn't be too worried,” You couldn’t help the soft chuckle you let out at his response. You were symptomatic. 

“That’s where I know you from,” Bucky finally put two and two together. His mind eased knowing you weren’t some undercover spy spying on him. Oh, the irony. “I saw you in the elevator, must’ve been the same day, Yori was going on about frangipanis for hours,” You beamed up at Bucky, you really liked that sundress.

“Margot.” You reached your hand out to shake Bucky’s. “Margot Gilmore.” It was a new alias, a new identity—a new life. Told to go deep undercover at Nick Fury’s and Chief Dawson’s instructions. Only ever reach out if absolutely necessary.

Don’t bring attention to yourself, lay low—keep an eye on Barnes. Play the role of the sweet-talking receptionist and “Can I borrow a cup of sugar?” Neighbour. Playing neighbours with Bucky Barnes wasn’t a hard task. It was nice to have somewhat of a taste of normalcy after everything that had happened. From almost being snuffed out, being dusted during the blip. This was a walk in the park compared to what you’d been doing prior. 

“Nice to meet you neighbour,” Bucky took your hand softly, shaking it gently for a few moments before he retracted. “Been coming here long?”

“Against my will for about a month now, I haven’t seen you here before?” Bucky already knew you were a better receptionist than the guy he’d had to hand his paperwork to four weeks ago. He even thought coming to therapy might become a little less strenuous with a familiar face around.

“New job, kinda just got the gig—today’s my third day. It’s pretty easy, just receptionist bullshit and all,” Bucky chuckled under his breath. He could only imagine how nice it must be to have something so normal as a boring nine-to-five office. “From what I gather, Christina’s pretty cool,” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“It’s an act, once she gets me behind those doors she’s completely different,” Bucky liked the dress you were wearing, office casual. Simple but it made your eyes seem bright, or maybe it was the lighting in the building he hated coming to, or maybe? you just had a thing for nice dresses. He’d have to ask Yori. You could see Doctor Raynor peering out from her door. Gesturing she was ready for Bucky.

“Ahh—Doctor Raynor’s ready for you,” You looked down at your monitor, pretending you couldn’t remember who Bucky was. “James—“

“Bucky.” Bucky was way too quick off the mark, correcting you before you barely had a chance to say his name. “Call me Bucky,” Tapping his hand on the counter, Bucky pressed his lips together with a shy smile as he pushed himself away. Walking reluctantly towards the woman who loved to pick his brain, turning to smile at you once more over his shoulder.

“Seeya, Neighbour—“

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**~***~***~***~***

[thirstdrafts]

"Knowing that he doesn’t exist is agonizing. It literally makes my heart ache. I hate feeling this way and I hate the fact that I can’t talk to anyone about it because I’m so embarrassed. But I don’t want to let go of him either."

^^^ I've dealt with this since forever. When I was younger I thought it would be great to grow up and fall in love, only to grow up and realize that I cannot love real people any percentage near my love of fictional characters. I'm married and I love my spouse, so it makes me sad that she has blank face told me "I know you would leave me for one of your fictional husbands in a second if you had the chance." It hurts me because I know it's true, and I can't fathom how bad it must feel to her.

But I literally can't stop. My feelings for fictional men boil over to the point of pain. When I think about them my heart swells with so much joy I feel like laughing and throwing up. Or butterflies in my stomach. And when the realization hits that they don't exist I feel so broken. Like my heart shatters and in those moments (scary as it is) I don't want to exist either if I can't have them.

I've admitted this to a therapist once and they asked if I wanted to work on it. I immediately panicked, resinded, and never brought it up again. The realization that someone could try to "fix" me and I would lose a very real piece of my heart stuck fear into my soul. That was the first time I knew it was a problem, but I couldn't bear to distance myself mentally from them.

Now I don't want to have se x with anyone in real life. It's super crazy. My spouse is miserable over it. I only want intimacy with fake men. It's insane. But it's my reality. I feel broken. Everyday I wake up in the real world is like I am missing a part of me and I have to ignore it.

Anyway, does anyone else on this black hole app have fictophilia? If so, have you solved it or found anything that helps you cope?

The quote above is from THIS ARTICLE on fictophilia, fictosexuality, and fictoromance.

[theink-stainedfolk]

New WIP!!!

Ink Of Fate

---

In a time when China’s golden age of knowledge and art flourishes, the young and brilliant Huang Rui returns to his homeland from England. As the son of the revered Chief Scholar of the Celestial Academy, Rui is destined for greatness, carrying the weight of his family’s prestigious name on his shoulders. Settling into his ancestral home, the Jinlong Estate, he immerses himself in teaching the intricacies of the English language and penning a mystery novel that promises to captivate the hearts of many.

But one fateful night, his tranquil life is shattered. A mysterious break-in at his estate leaves his prized manuscript stolen and a safe ransacked. While Rui dismisses the theft as inconsequential, his publisher is frantic, fearing the loss of a masterpiece. Urged to seek help beyond the law’s reach, Rui finds himself at the threshold of the notorious Red Serpent Manor, the lair of the enigmatic Shen Yi—an underground figure whose name strikes fear into the bravest of men, known widely as the "King of Hell."

Contrary to his fearsome reputation, Shen Yi is a man of striking beauty, with a commanding presence and a gaze that could pierce through one’s soul. Draped in a crimson robe with golden embellishments, his long black hair flowing like ink, Shen Yi exudes an air of lethal elegance. He agrees to help Rui recover his stolen work, but the price he demands is far from monetary. Shen Yi asks for something more intimate: for Rui to spend nights with him, whenever he desires.

Bound by the promise of retrieving his manuscript, Rui agrees, plunging himself into a world he had never imagined. But as the nights unfold, Rui’s written words begin to materialize in the real world. The line between fiction and reality blurs, and the horrors of his imagination come to life, ensnaring him in a web of danger, intrigue, and forbidden desires.

As the mystery deepens, Rui must navigate the treacherous waters of the Shadow District, where the elite’s darkest secrets are hidden behind the walls of opulent mansions and seductive brothels, With Shen Yi at his side—a man who is both his protector and a potential threat—.

---

[nesiacha]

Declaration of Albertine Marat on 17 Ventôse of the year II about Hébert

Albertine Marat

In the historical fiction I wrote about the death of Momoro (which is admittedly a mix of historical elements and fiction—I plead guilty ^^), here https://www.tumblr.com/nesiacha/762176646439649280/the-last-hours-of-the-first-printer-of-national?source=share, I talked about the declaration made by Albertine Marat on the 17th of Ventôse, Year II. According to the author Avenel, this caused significant damage to the Cordeliers because the speech was used against them in the Convention. He went further by saying that the Marat family was in favor of their indictment, which could align with Simone Evrard's statements against Hébert and what Albertine Marat allegedly said to Alphonse Esquiros  —that if her brother were alive, Danton and Desmoulins would not have been guillotined- (though I don't believe that he would save at least Danton, since Jean-Paul Marat had begun to doubt Danton towards the end). But in the absence of other serious sources, we must be cautious about claiming that the Marat family supported the indictments, especially considering that Simone Evrard and Albertine Marat, while politically active, were not deputies and did not have the right to vote.

Here the declaration of Albertine Marat

Letter from Citizen Albertine Marat to the Cordeliers

Published in issue no. 244 of the Journal du Club.

In the various proposals made to you concerning the editing of the journal you have decided to stop publishing, I could not hear without astonishment that someone dared to suggest to you that those entrusted with this glorious task should only carry it out in the shadows in which they should envelop it; that they should not be known, so as not to be exposed to persecution.

What! Is it to you, citizens, that such language is dared to be addressed? And is it from this very tribune, from where the thunderbolts were launched that pulverized the throne and the tyrant, that a patriotic journalist, who has sometimes shown vigor, that Hébert would dare to counsel cowardice? Has he forgotten that you are Cordeliers, and that you were the first to dare raise your proud heads when everyone else bowed before the idol that you shattered? Does he no longer remember that terrible petition which struck fear into the hearts of those unworthy of liberty, and which was not born in darkness?

That traitors, paid by our enemies, spread their vile writings anonymously is a sign that they fear the punishment they deserve. But that free men, Cordeliers, the defenders of the Rights of Man and Citizen, would fear to declare themselves as the authors of a journal, the hope of good patriots? It is in an open struggle that energy is deployed. It is at the sight of danger that strength and means develop, while timid souls hide, for they are not made for battle. But for those who have declared themselves the successors of Marat (he who signed all his works, who disowned none, even in the most tumultuous times); for those, I say, who follow the same path as this fearless defender of the people, to be intimidated by the idea of danger? Never! It is true, citizens, that they will tell you Marat fell under the assassin's blade which they would have you fear, but is life of such great value that it should be preserved through cowardice? It is by facing death, by looking at it with cold blood, that one becomes worthy of liberty.

And by what right, moreover, would we be more shielded from its blows than the thousands of our brothers whom the homeland calls to its defense? Would you have less courage than them? To believe this would be to misunderstand you. No, never will you cease to be Cordeliers, and the homeland will not be disappointed in its expectations.

[pb-dot]

WIP Anouncement: Thereafter

As I'm putting the final touch on the first draft of His Impossible Brushstrokes, I've come to realize something important about myself. I like writing, I like it a lot. Ok, not exactly a deep dark secret, that, but it has some implications as to how I'm going to do this one so I figured I should mention that up top.

The thing I came to realize is that the way things are going, I'm going to make what is hopefully one final pass on The Clockwork Boy to shine up the dialog a bit, and while editing is a fine and indeed neccesary part of writing, I have a need to keep writing-writing these days. Speaking from a purely practical standpoint, I also need some way to pace myself, as losing my mind in writing frenzies isn't doing my brain any favors.

So, with that in mind, I have decided to write and release my newest project, Thereafter, myself in the style of serial fiction. I'm going to set up a newsletter service to send my subscribers individual chapers of the series and host the backlogs on some apropriate site, looking like Cohost at the moment. After a period of outlining and writing up character bios, I plan to start at a slow but hopefully manageable clip, releasing two chapters per month, possibly ramping up to three if I find the workflow suiting me.

I don't really plan on earning any money from Thereafter at the time of writing, but considering hosting costs for the newsletter side of things, I may set up a patreon or other crowdfunding page if I ever start getting close to the 100 subscriber limit of the free plan I have my eyes on. It would be nice to get paid for this thing even if it's just the hosting costs, but honestly I just want to get the project out there and get some eyeballs on it, and if it catches on it catches on.

Thereafter is a bit of a appraising look, perhaps even deconstruction of the Portal Fantasy type of narrative, think your Narnias, your Warriors of Virtue, Your Pagemasters and what have you. In it, we meet 4 souls in their thirties who saved a secret magical land from a great evil as children, and have been struggling to make everything work in the aftermath of that. Now solidly among the ranks of the adult, these ex-heroes of legend find themselves, each in their own way, long for the magic, freedom and purpose of their adventures. When the strange wind that once whisked them away to their magical lands finally comes for them again, our heroes learn that they should have been careful about what they wish for.

The magical lands which our protagonists saved are all gone, shattered into fragments by something so vast and terrible not even the survivors could describe it, leaving the magical realms as floating pieces of flotsam and jetsam in the void between worlds. In this void, what scant few survivors there were from the calamity band together to build a refuge out of the broken pieces of their old worlds. It is to this refuge, a town called Thereafter, that our heroes arrive, learning that not only are these worlds they bled and suffered for destroyed, but they were destroyed centuries after their departure, their exploits turned into legends.

It is this legendary status that their summoners, the de facto ruling council of Thereafter, wishes to exploit. Plagued by a scarcity of resources and a truly wild variety of cultures, species and levels of magical ability, the desperate masses of Thereafter seem poised on the brink of panic and/or revolt. The council of Therafter prop up our heroes as having returned to save the world once again, hoping that their utter failure to do so will take long enough that someone will be able to come up with a better plan in the meantime. Our heroes, on their side, are ambivalent about pretending to be these larger-than-life personas that their legends have been turned into, but recognizes that their only way home is through the good will of the council, and so play along, at least until it becomes clear that Therafter's problems are far from over, and that it is impossible to rule the unwilling with clean hands and a clean conscience.

I'm pretty excited about this one. The idea of not getting to go back once I'm finished to make the style uniform is terrifying to me, and I'll have to get used to a kinda different way to pace the story, but I have decided that this is a good way to keep myself writing while leaving enough room in my schedule to keep the editing more or less consistent. Also, I can make it every bit as queer and political as I want to, so that's nice. Worst case scenario, it'll be a fun distraction while I work on getting The Clockwork Boy published.

A more detailed plot synopsis and some talk about the characters will follow at a later date.

[doihavetosaymyname]

HOW TO UNLOCK YOUR POTENTIAL &lt;3

Pick your fav fictional couple and get a reading <3

_____________________________________________

Pile One. 

The Hermit, the Devil rx, 4 of Pentacles, 2 of Wands, the Moon, 6 of Pentacles, King of Wands, the World, 3 of Wands.

Channelled message: You always had it in you. 

Perhaps you have a bad habit of holding on to relationships (whether romantic or platonic) that no longer work. You do not like to be alone, that is why you are ready to endure everything as long as there is someone next to you.

This tendency to be codependent slows you down. In order to unlock your potential, you will have to work on your fear of loneliness. Let go of the person who you know is not compatible with you. Try being still and listen to what your soul is saying. What do you like to do alone? Do you have hobbies? Do you love yourself enough to enjoy solitude?

Take yourself out on dates. Alone. Treat yourself the same way you would treat your lover. Become your own best friend. Put yourself and your well-being first. This is not being selfish or narcissistic, it is simply self-care. 

Self-analysis, evaluation of pros and cons are difficult tasks but the effort you put into learning about yourself will pay off. Short-term satisfaction of fast gratification will vanish to make space for long-term happiness and silent confidence. It is highly advised to start therapy and in general to pay attention to mental health.

Hope you enjoyed your reading <3 Contact me for more in-depth readings.

________________________

Pile Two. 

The Emperor, Ace of Pentacles, 7 of Cups, the Sun, Page of Pentacles, King of Cups, the Hierophant rx.

Channeled message: You are like a cup of hot chocolate on a snowy day. 

You are an extremely positive and open-hearted person. You believe you are naturally incredibly lucky and attract lots of blessings in your life. You are ambitious, comfortable in your skin, and know that you have an undisputed power within. There is an interest in manifestation. But what you refuse to accept about yourself is extreme sensitivity and impulsiveness. You are a very emotional person. When you are overwhelmed with feelings, it is very difficult for you to pull yourself together and think rationally. You fantasize a lot about success but have no clear vision or plan of actually achieving it. There is a tendency of starting new projects and not finishing them; giving up/losing interest as soon as reality of life does not meet your expectations.

Your only limit is a tendency to live in your head. Therefore, in order to reach your full potential, you will have to stop daydreaming and take full responsibility for your actions and decisions. Discipline and control will open lots of new opportunities. Emotional maturity will transform your life. You will finally be able to complete that course you were procrastinating to take.

Your desires won’t be just fantasies anymore, they will become your reality.

Perhaps teachers/instructors/father figures in your life believe in you and expect you to surpass them in the future. They are ready to help you and teach you everything they know.

Hope you enjoyed your reading <3 Contact me for more in-depth readings.

________________________

Pile Three.

Queen of Pentacles, 2 of Cups, the Chariot, Knight of Swords, 10 of Swords rx, the Strength rx, Ace of Wands, 6 of Swords, 6 of Cups.

Channeled message: You will always be surrounded by love. 

Something in the past shattered your self-confidence. Childhood trauma or maybe a painful breakup; the event literally swallowed up your self-esteem. You've done a great job of leaving it all behind and healing your wounds. But the path to recovery is extremely unpredictable, so healed scars sometimes hurt. You keep scolding yourself for still thinking about your trauma even though some time has passed. You miss the person you used to be before it happened. 

However, remembering the past is normal. Coming couple steps back doesn't mean you threw the entire progress out the window. Progress is not always  linear and straightforward.

What will set you free and unlock your potential is self-forgiveness. I am so sorry you had to suffer. I am proud of you doing the best you can and shining despite your pain.

You always blame yourself and it leads to another obstacle: extreme self-doubt. You miss opportunities because you are so unsure of yourself, then regret it, and then eventually berate yourself again. A vicious circle of self-hatred.

You have to learn to break this bad habit of being too hard on yourself.

Release your doubts and guilt. You managed to achieve what you wanted once, so it will work again. And again. And again. And even if it doesn't work out don't blame yourself for it.

Also, I don't know who specifically needs to read this but your person reciprocates your feelings and is currently waiting for you. So be courageous  and approach them!

Hope you enjoyed your reading <3 Contact me for more in-depth readings.

________________________

If you like my readings, please consider donating <3

KO-FI

PAYPAL.ME

[kmclaude]

Who are your favorite co-artists/writers/creators in the queer dark fiction space?

Some of my faves of the top of my head:

Krad @kradeelav who is in a NO U senpai-war with me and is senpai -- very much "what it says on the tin", 100% lizardbrain-centered id-scratching glory. Super inspirational work, definitely their print zines on itchio inspired me to start home printing my own.

@hydein maker of Après Moi le Deluge (which I've probably wrote wrong because I always mess up è and é) -- I see their stuff and think ah, this would not be out of place at all alongside older BL/shoujo that blurred the BL lines/Year 24 Group. Their work is like cotton-candy spun of fiberglass: beautiful, soft artwork, absolutely devastating topic made all the more lovely (and painful) given its exterior

Gretchen Felker-Martin's Manhunt kept me gripped the entire time reading it -- a genuinely thought-provoking, gutteral, human look at the trope of gendered apocalypse and she's the reason, her talking about it and praising it, that I and my ex-fiancé wound up watching The Devils and it's now a top fav movie of both of us. Also one time she said really nice things about my chapbook {familia} and I'm still :D about it. Any book she writes, I'd read without question.

Draculard (on AO3) genuinely writes some of the most straight-to-your-fucking-soul shattering works (one of Drac's latest works, Tithonus Reversed? Short and gutwrenching.) Everything they've written that I've read (and I've read more than the fics they've wrote for me though those are really mcfreaking great just FYI) has an almost surgical precision in its emotional core. alskdfja IDK man I love Drac's stuff, genuinely, I wish I could write like that.

[cloobert]

Who Is Clooby

Hi everyone-- I’ve had this account for almost a decade now but now that twitter is slow-motion dying I want to dive back into this site.

And part of that is explaining who I am, now! I’m Clay or Clooby, a writer of fiction, bad joke, and tabletop games. I’ve always loved the Gothic, the grand, and the mythic, and try to harness and repurpose that every chance I get. Other than that, I cook pasta and walk long distances, generally. I’ve yet to decide what specifically will go where, between here and @cloobywrites, but here’s what i do: My two published (ish) works are: Over Sea, Wander Home, a book for Jay Dragon’s Wanderhome about adding a sort of epic maritime dimension to the game’s wandering. Perfect if you want to play a former sea captain, lying (or honest) big-fish storyteller, or a cartographer looking to bound the world in maps.

END THE WORLD, a painful PBTA ashcan about, well, ending the world. It’s run straight through with my feelings about a recent death in my family and the pain of the summer of 2020, so it may never be truly finished, but it’s certainly playable right now.

I’m also working on a lot of current projects: I’m writing Mobile Chariot Aurochs (working title), a mecha novel about vampiric wood Chariots piloted with marionette strings. It's got sex, duels, and my complicated thoughts about Sayla Mass and Haman Karn threaded through it.

Next is another untitled project--this time my expansion for Austin Ramsay's Beam Saber. Real Robot is often about war, yes, but it is so often also about living in the shadow of the greatest war anyone has ever seen. So I'm adding five playbooks, two squad playbooks, and a setting made for emulating things like Zeta Gundam, Iron Blooded Orphans, After War Gundam X, and a whole bunch of others.

Below is the Comet, a playbook about flying in and out of history's great orbits:

And here are some abilities from the Shrike, a pilot burns their mechs hot and fast:

Next, I'm developing the Sparked by Resistance game Last Day Academy-- A game about teaching at the awful school for magic and monsters that you once attended. It's a personal, painful game, but it also lets you play a pyromancer who burns their own futures for the energy to get through grading season.

or a toxic-soul-waste repository who uses the runoff in their soul to work miracles:

Next, is The Lies from Friday Rhapsody's, a game about doing Lupin III style cartoon heists in a weird city with a shattered sky. This one has an all new system based around both playing and cheating at blackjack in genuinely every way to cheat I could imagine. You can also play an invertebrate clown. This one is on a back-er burner solely because it really wants a real  deck of cards to be marked up and altered as the adventures go on.

Finally, I've been writing Death Comes to Little Island, a Chuubo's Marvelous Wish Granting Engine campaign in the mode of things like Stand By Me and Anohana about grief, growing up, and also fistfighting Death on the beach. One of the main characters dropped out of world-killing void god school. They're a hoot.

[melodytaylorauthor]

My struggle with plot structure

And struggle I have.

I feel like it’s not an unusual struggle.

When a person first starts writing, there’s a ton of information out there on how to make your sentences work, how to create characters that aren’t wooden, grammar, spelling, the art of fiction, putting your soul into it and not boring your reader, how to create a habit of sitting down and putting words on the page. All of that. Everywhere, for the choosing.

And then, once you’re no longer a beginner, all the information pretty much dries up.

You hear words bandied about like “3-act structure” and “theme” and “arc,” but what those things are and if you need them (you do!) never seems to come up. Or if they do come up, they’re very nebulous and it’s hard to get a great feel for them.

Last year, I realized I didn’t actually understand or know jack about plot, beyond the nebulous “arc is what your character goes through,” etc., so I figured I’d better get on that. “Trying to be professional” and all that jazz. It only took me four books to figure that out!

So first off, a Google search led me to a lot of articles about how many acts a plot should have. Apparently, there are a lot of choices. Every article I came across essentially said the same thing: “Shakespeare used 5-act structure, The Hero's Journey uses 7 acts, and Hollywood uses 3-act structure. Do whatever you want!”

Great. Not helpful. What IS an act? What goes into it? How does one know when one has a complete act? What’s the DIFFERENCE between the different numbers of acts in a story? If I can use anywhere from three to seven acts, why should I choose one over another?? I think the number six is pretty, should I use six acts?

So I tried Googling “what is 3-act plot structure.” I found a LOT of articles that stated “Three act structure is simple! The first act is your story’s opening. The last act is the story’s climax and end. And the middle act is everything else!”

Say what? Easy?? How is that easy? Why does so much advice on story telling have to be so damn vague? Is it because so many authors actually have no idea what they’re doing? It is, isn’t it. Ah, damn.

Interestingly, there were a LOT of articles that discussed authors complaining about the “soggy middle” of their story. Well, yeah, if they know how the story starts, they know how they want it to end, but the middle is “everything else,” what the hell is a person supposed to WRITE?? “Everything else” is not a direction! Are the characters supposed to sit around and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes and discuss the meaning of human existence? Hibernate? Run around screaming? What, what, what??

Well, silly, they’re supposed to arc. You know, what happens to your character through the course of the book.

Oh, yes, okay. Got it, got it.

(For the curious, a character arc is the world view/state of being a character starts out with, and how that shifts to something different for better or for worse through the course of the story. Usually better, but dark stories will sometimes have the main character lose all hope or something like that.)

I did manage to stumble across a couple actual books about plot. I bought them. One of them was very helpful. One of them was most certainly not. And I found one — count it — ONE article that broke plot structure down into FOUR acts AND explained WHY the authors of the article liked four acts and WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN in each act. HOLY SHIT!! That article has since been removed from the website where I found it. Good thing I copied and pasted it to my own computer before it vanished!

(For the curious: Act 1, we meet the MC, they are invited to adventure, they almost certainly refuse, and then they are forced into it somehow. Act 2, they strike out in a new world, making friends and enemies as they go, learning about how things work in this new place and gaining confidence until it’s shattered by something crazy happening. Act 3, they have to maneuver in a new way, figure out what they were doing wrong before and deal with the crazy thing that happened at the end of act 2, they will come face-to-face with the main baddie and they will lose. Act 4, everything has come to a head, the MC is trapped, on the run, pushed to the brink, with the baddie right on their heels, and when it finally looks like all is lost, the main thing they need to face or learn about suddenly becomes crazy clear, and they are able to defeat the baddie/situation using their new knowledge/skill/emotion.)

My favorite book on plot I found was “The Story Grid, what good editors know.” It’s not a book on act structure as much as what scenes need to do and how a book needs to flow. But man, is it helpful and insightful! It breaks writing a book down into concrete steps that you can check and follow, rather than all this woo-woo business with “the middle is everything else” and “arc is what happens to your characters.”

Armed with this new knowledge, I set about dissecting some of my favorite books and movies.

Man, four act structure and the mechanics of making a scene work is totally IT! Every book I re-read, every movie I re-watched, the acts lined up and made sense, the scenes turned and kept the plot moving, it all flowed. It all WORKED!

I feel so satisfied when someone who knows what they’re talking about can point out how things work. I hate when people offer squishy advice that doesn’t actually make any sense or that you just have to “feel.” Either it’s real and you can damn well put it into words, or it’s fake and you’re making it up. JEEZ.

I used my new knowledge to edit “The Winding Road Between,” and am very satisfied with how it shook out. I’m working on a new book called “Night Falls,” and it is coming together just slick. I’m super happy with the 4-act structure and even more happy with the leeway and wiggle room I’ve found inside of it. It’s far less rigid than it first appears, while offering a scaffolding to hang the scenes of my story on so it all makes sense. As long as it goes 1-2-3-4, and each act is roughly the same length-ish, it all comes out in the end.

I love it when a plot comes together!

[official-mistah-j]

this is a work of fiction

I am MISERY, FT, the Author,

Restrained and beaten ,

lifetimes

unhealed

bloodied and bruised gunshots

broken down, knees shattered, almost quite so

and a few rusty nails in my flesh

from hell

with a keyboard and innumerable

blank sheets of white paper

and pencils and pens

To write,

This,

intended,

end

all i can think

is her ghastly white

pallid skin

begging to be born again

she screeches like an owl

and im lost somewhere

between heaven and hell

though

i am not from this world

how did we not know she needed

help

gashes

on arms and legs

sorta like

sally skellington

and

shadows

like

fishnet in a half lit room

it looked like

she had clothes on

they said

the scars

all over

she seemed so confident

and so happy

and now i know

my true love, was bullied, and discarded

and set apart,

and i will not rest

til these strong men

and these women

are nothing

but children

crying

tears

streaming

down their eyes

a soul for a soul

a heart for a heart

and i got a date with the devil

and she's

wearing a dress

and i let them in

oh im so sorry

im so sorry

im so sorry

i am the great destroyer

[aeglica]

Im a character come to life

this is a work of fiction

I am MISERY, FT, the Author,

Restrained and beaten ,

lifetimes

unhealed

bloodied and bruised gunshots

broken down, knees shattered, almost quite so

and a few rusty nails in my flesh

from hell

with a keyboard and innumerable

blank sheets of white paper

and pencils and pens

To write,

This,

intended,

end

all i can think

is her ghastly white

pallid skin

begging to be born again

she screeches like an owl

and im lost somewhere

between heaven and hell

though

i am not from this world

how did we not know she needed

help

gashes

on arms and legs

sorta like

sally skellington

and

shadows

like

fishnet in a half lit room

it looked like

she had clothes on

they said

the scars

all over

she seemed so confident

and so happy

and now i know

my true love, was bullied, and discarded

and set apart,

and i will not rest

til these strong men

and these women

are nothing

but children

crying

tears

streaming

down their eyes

a soul for a soul

a heart for a heart

and i got a date with the devil

and she's

wearing a dress

and i let them in

oh im so sorry

im so sorry

im so sorry

i am the great destroyer

[maguro13-2]

Legacy of Shinra Reboot ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 1 Remake Pt.1 ~

"Real World AU..."

"A place where humans and witches coexist together, including their their fictional characters as well. This AU is where we live, work, educate and and play."

"It's much of a place ofhow fictional characters work their lives as well, mostly, it's a universe where all of Japan's video games, mangas, anime characters come to work with us in particular ways."

"This AU can be a place where heroes and villains are the real deal, they are those who have potential and has one's reputation that is their own and for others to keep it. They carry out to help others make their lives easier in order to count on us for our past, present, and future."

"Despite it's reputation, Real World AU also connects with the many universes that are connected such as cartoons, comics, mangas, animes, video games, and even TV and movies, well...not in that particular way."

"There's one chance that our world is connected with universes of famous Shounen, Seinen, and Shoujo mangas to all cartoons, comics, animes, and video games as well."

"Two companies that changed Real World AU for the sake of their lives...were Drawcia Family Corporation in Japan and E.Gadd Industries from the USA."

"But Interpol has an organization that truly maintains world public order, Majo Detective Force from the great states of New England. The organization is where humans and witches began to work together as a force when Truth, Love, and Justice that combines as a formidable effort to keep humanity safe and sound. Easily for that, It all worked out without ruffling a few feathers on it."

"But some organizations like that in Japan are not always associated with the personification Death, the so-called Death Weapon Meister Academy mysteriously appeared in the great lands of Nevada in the aftermath of 50% of the Ohkuboverse destroyed by the time-traveling entity and destroyer of all worlds known as the Time Eater, a vicious entity that flows through time and space. The Time Eater scolded the Ohkuboverse's first hero Shinra Kusakabe for creating Death and Soul World's foundation that made the Time Eater annihilated both him and his people, and including the true mother of witchkind who was executed after the start of Shinra's 1000 years of death began spreading the influence."

"However, Death Weapon Meister Academy wanted to sue Majo Detective Force for stealing it's peacekeeping forces as the number one organization that the governments of the united nations had to offer. But the Shinigami Council of Japan denies that request in partaking of saving both humans and witches together."

"So the Majo Detective Force have already won, and the DWMA lost it's hero organization case. Maybe that was the last time DWMA ever had to hurt witchkind to think our kind's xenophobic and nothing else, but that's what they get who were they messing with."

"That was the last obstacle between the Majo Detectives and the public order that stands for love and justice like Sailor Moon said. Thanks to Interpol, the great states of New England is the magical superpower of the world. Yeah, for realisies."

"But when it comes the ruler of FMA Universe known as Truth, the witches and humans agreed that Truth itself would ratify new rule for the Majo Order that forbids weapon-turning humans called Mabuki while Truth itself cease the functionality of the Mabuki's power system. But the one power system that truth cannot cease to function it was a deadly force called Shattered Resonance, which has the power to trigger frustration and hatred and it is affiliated with blood magic, and ability that individuals have the magical ability to manipulate and freely controlling their blood as weapons.

"It's hard to believe that both Shattered Resonance and Blood Magic are the combined forces of a deadly warrior that has the ability to target people's hearts called Shattered Meister as they are equivalent to the Shattered Soldiders told by the Phantoms of Society."

"Around 9 years ago, an explosive energy of Shattered Resonance has created a shockwave, wiping out eighty percent of Japan's population, causing the evil forces to wreak havoc by creatures called a heartless. Heartless are like zombie-like creatures that are created from a person's heart and are born from within the darknesss, and they also have the ability disguise their selves one's appearance."

"Despite their appearance in 2002, the heartless were planning to take over Real World AU by achieving their goal of conquest by conjuring all worlds into the reaches of unholy darkness itself. But apparently, it's parallel force the Holy Light that makes hope as a gift to humanity while Despair is the key the unleash the shadows of the realm of Darkness and light itself shall be the key restoring balance and order blessed from the powerful heart-shaped moon known as the titular Kingdom Hearts."

"Around two years since the Space Colony Ark incident, evil forces have sprung again as a heartless appeared as a human girl named Solva and attacked the vicinity of Hang Castle, a fortress located between the Real World and Sonic's world. Not only she fooled the machines and Grim the Hedghehog for their ability to cloak their selves as humans, but it seems to have no idea it was a monster in disguise itself."

"And now with that in order it's time for a fresh start..."

[Theme of Phantasy Star 0 (soundtrack ver.) - Hideaki Kobayashi]

Ashley : Let's go partner. We got a mission to do.

Kimial Diehl : You bet.

Penny Crygor : Good luck out there, guys. it's Time to uncover the secrets of Soul World. So look no further ado, we don't need any hesitation from the rest of the team. So give it your best and don't screw this one up.

Ashley : Roger that, Penny.

"I am Kimial Diehl, a witch born and raised in the city of Salem, a 17th century town located in th Great Bat State of Massachusetts, north of the capital city Boston. I am newest member of the Majo Detective Force organization, the organization was tasked to investigate of stopping crime and the forces of Evil itself. But that doesn't mean to change the subject. But some thing never changed do they? So that's why I had friends that are right behind me, Penny, Ashley, and not just everyone that I knew about, but the one person that is my love interest is Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre, a member of the Phantoms of Society. Of course, it's where we traveled around the world and see the wonders of where everyone lives."

"Right now I'm on my own request, I'm here to investigate to uncover the secrets behind Soul World's past, half of universe was completely destroy when the Time Eater to annihilate Shinra Kusakabe, legendary hero and founder of Soul World. Honestly, Shinra himself was called the Devil that has the responibility of creating his Man-made son Death himself, a Grim who anyone said about him being the self-proclaimed ruler of the cosmos. But apparent he's called Shinigami or somewhat who is he. Maybe he had some sort connections with the heartless attacking Real World AU."

"Despite all of that, we can all agree that he runs the DWMA all by himself and at least he's having some political ties with the United States, Japan, and the rest of the world itself. But this isn't about him, it's about a 13-year old Girl name Maka Albarn, born at the mysterious sanctuary located at the planet Jupiter, Maka was the hero that Soul World chosen and we discovered that she was the one responsible for destroying Japan's population. Wonder how that's gonna happen when Soul World's heroes and villains shall live up to reputation and in spite of those who wanted to become heroes of each of their story, these crazies stories full of weirdness will be in a total absolution, who says Maka Albarn looks alike something in the past?"

Inky Albarn : Don't forget about me. You can't be someone that is a hero, but I'm one step closer.

[Negative Notions - Ryo Yamazaki]

(lights were turned on)

Inky Albarn : Greetings, humans of this here Real World. I am alook alike of Maka Albarn's self as the queen of all demons. The name's Inky Albarn, I'm the queen who possess the powers of both demon and black blood, when I say black blood, I meant to say it's the royal blood of the Ink Demons! Don't forget my awesomeness story of how the world known the Ink Demon and my son's origins. I'll be waiting

*WHOOSH+SMASH!*

" ORIGINS OF THE INK DEMON "

Inky Albarn : The party's just begun.

~ THE INK DEMON'S ORIGINS BEGINS NOW ~

[call-signtracer]

I've got a few then, though you may have read/heard of some of em 😅

Inheritance Cycle (6 book series), Eragon, Eldest, Brisingr, Inheritance, The Fork the Witch and the Worm, and Murtagh by Christopher Paolini

When fifteen-year-old Eragon finds a polished blue stone in the forest, he thinks it is the lucky discovery of a poor farm boy. But when the stone brings a dragon hatchling, Eragon soon realizes he has stumbled upon a legacy nearly as old as the Empire itself.

Overnight his simple life is shattered, and, gifted with only an ancient sword, a loyal dragon, and sage advice from an old storyteller, Eragon is soon swept into a dangerous tapestry of magic, glory, and power. Now his choices could save—or destroy—the Empire

Deed of Paksenarrion trilogy by Elizabeth Moon (Sheepfarmers Daughter, Divided Allegiance, Oath of Gold) has some darker elements

Refusing to marry a pig farmer and joining the army, even if it means never seeing her family again, Paksenarrion begins an adventure that enables her to restore an overthrown ruler.

Paksenarrion: Paladin's Legacy (5 book follow up series to the previous, Oath of Fealty, Kings of the North, Echos of Betrayal, Limits of Power, Crown of Renewal) also by Elizabeth Moon

I'd put the summary of the first book here but it actually spoils a major plot point of the Paksenarrion Trilogy above 😅, but it's a direct follow up of the series following other characters from the first 3 books along with Paks

Honor Harrington series (14 books in the main storyline, first boom On Basilisk Station) by David Weber, more Sci-Fy fiction super long kinda complicated, dark moments but great storyline, I freely admit kinda drags at times but I love the action and the over-arching story to forgive that

Having made a superior look a fool, Honor Harrington has been exiled to Basilisk Station in disgrace and set up for ruin.

Her demoralized crew blames her for their ship's humiliating posting to an out-of-the-way picket station.

The aborigines of the system's only habitable planet are smoking homicide-inducing hallucinogens.

Parliament isn't sure it wants to keep the place; the major local industry is smuggling; the merchant cartels want her head; the star-conquering, so-called "Republic" of Haven is up to something; and Honor Harrington has a single, over-age light cruiser with an armament that doesn't work to police the entire star system.

But the people out to get her have made one mistake. They've made her mad.

Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind (more gritty and bloody fantasy series, dark themes etc) 22 books overall but 11 in the main original story.

In the aftermath of the brutal murder of his father, a mysterious woman, Kahlan Amnell, appears in Richard Cypher's forest sanctuary seeking help...and more. His world, his very beliefs, are shattered when ancient debts come due with thundering violence.

In a dark age it takes courage to live, and more than mere courage to challenge those who hold dominion, Richard and Kahlan must take up that challenge or become the next victims. Beyond awaits a bewitching land where even the best of their hearts could betray them. Yet, Richard fears nothing so much as what secrets his sword might reveal about his own soul. Falling in love would destroy them - for reasons Richard can't imagine and Kahlan dare not say.

In their darkest hour, hunted relentlessly, tormented by treachery and loss, Kahlan calls upon Richard to reach beyond his sword - to invoke within himself something more noble. Neither knows that the rules of battle have just changed...or that their time has run out.

These guys are more kinda in the younger section but I enjoyed their stories and re-read them often:

Wolves of the Beyond, (6 book series), Lone Wolf, Shadow Wolf, Watch Wolf, Frost Wolf, Spirit Wolf, Star Wolf by Kathryn Lasky

A wolf mother has given birth, but the warm bundle snuffling next to her brings only anguish. The pup, otherwise healthy, has a twisted leg, and the mother knows what the harsh code of the pack demands. Her pup will be taken from her and abandoned on a desolate hill. The pack cannot have weakness - the wolf mother knows that her pup is condemned to die.

But alone in the wilderness, the pup, Seeker, does not perish. This his story - a story of survival, of courage, and of love triumphant. This is Seeker's story, the wolf pup who rose up to change forevever the Wolves of the Beyond.

Guardians of Ga'hoole (long series as well lol, too long of titles to list 😅) also by Kathryn Lasky

Soren is born in the forest of Tyto, a tranquil kingdom where the Barn Owls dwell. But evil lurks in the owl world, evil that threatens to change Soren's life forever.

Soren is captured and taken to a dark and forbidding canyon where there is a mysterious school. It's called an orphanage, but Soren believes it's something far worse.

He and his new friend, the clever and scrappy Gylfie, find out that the orphanage is actually a training camp. Soren and Gylfie know that the only way out is up. To escape, they will need to do something these fledglings have never done before: fly. And so begins a magical journey. Along the way, Soren and Gylfie meet Twilight and Digger. The four owls band together to seek the truth, be reunited with their families, and protect the owl world from unimaginable danger.

Deltora Quest (15 books across 3 connected mini series, first Book The Forests of Silence) by Emily Rodda

The evil Shadow Lord is plotting to invade Deltora and enslave its people. All that stands against him is the magic Belt of Deltora with its seven gems of great and mysterious power. When the gems are stolen and hidden in dark, terrible places throughout the kingdom, the Shadow Lord triumphs and Deltora is lost. In secrecy, with only a hand-drawn map to guide them, two unlikely companions set out on a perilous quest. Determined to find the lost gems and rid their land of the tyrant, they struggle towards their first goal - the sinister Forests of Silence.

Those are the ones off the top of my head, or at least have me re-listening to them frequently lol

And as a bonus, my new Pup who I named after the main character of the Honor series I mentioned, Honor!

Anyone have any book recs? 👀

[asteracaea]

i'm just gonna contemplate some hypotheticals here.

let's say you're a very young woman with startling talent as a songwriter and a performer, and you are dedicated to your dream of becoming a huge star. the particular genre your music has found its voice in (thus far) is country.

during the years you grow up, it's not really socially acceptable for a girl to not be interested in boys. and queerness in any form is even less supported, discussed, or accepted than it is today. so you talk about boys with your friends, convince yourself that you like them (and hey, maybe you really do!) but there's also something appealing to you about girls and you like them a LOT. maybe you haven't identified what it is exactly. you probably don't have the language or knowledge to understand what you're feeling. your culture doesn't provide you with that. but because girls are allowed to be very close and even physically intimate with their best friends, you are free to joke and play and explore your feelings without them being labeled as something unacceptable.

you work unbelievably hard and you finally get your big break as a musician. maybe your managers can tell something about you, maybe you've already figured it out about yourself, or maybe this is still unknown or un acknowledged by everyone in your circle. either way, your team starts to build the media narrative of the precocious american princess dreaming of love.

maybe originating from your pr team, or maybe starting organically in your fans, people start to love the idea that your songs are "confessional," like diary entries. they love the idea of knowing your innermost feelings. because this clearly leads to more sales and more revenue, you and your team decide to go along with this. you encourage it and play along. when you see the major interest that comes from revealing (or at least intimating) who a song is about, you use that as a marketing strategy and it works.

yes, your songs are actually brilliant and they are what keep people around, but the marketing strategies are what get most of them to bite the hook in the first place. the public has a massive fascination with the love lives and relationships of celebrities. you know this and exploit this and it works. maybe the guys you date are all pr set-ups, maybe you were encouraged to try dating them for real because it would benefit both of your upcoming projects, maybe you really did meet somewhere and sparks flew. but maybe there were other people who stirred your heart who your publicist told you "would not be a good idea." maybe you had to hide those feelings (or relationships!) but you could still write about those experiences by changing a gender pronoun here and inserting a male name there.

your strategy is working. you are quickly becoming one of the biggest country stars in the world, and then one of the biggest stars period. you expand into the more-widely consumed genre of pop. but more attention unfortunately also means more criticism and scrutiny. because people are obsessed with celebrity relationships, yours (real or not) become the only topic of conversation. not your music itself. this is heartbreaking for you. not only that, the strategy which once worked so well in your favor is now starting to tear you down. people slut shame you, call you a "serial dater," say that guys shouldn't date you because they'll "just get a song written about them." no one (except your fans) is actually paying attention to the beautiful art you are creating at a level of quality (and quantity) that is astonishing for anyone, let alone someone of your young years.

maybe around this time you meet someone who could very well be your soul mate. it's pretty much love at first sight. because you are both girls, you can let the world see how close you are, how you spend all your time together, even hold hands, and people can just call you "pals." maybe for a while that is what it is. but maybe one day you go from friends to this. maybe your behavior in public becomes a little too much to write off as "just pals." you both have careers as international superstars and it is very likely that a relationship of this nature would jeopardize them. the careers you love, that you spent your whole lives working toward, that other people's livelihoods depend on. so what are you to do?

your summer of the apocalypse comes. the world turns on you and you are sent into exile. you are devastated and what you thought was your reality has shattered and crashed. but you still have music, and you still have your great love. you step back from it all and reassess, rearrange, regroup. you find that you are happy, stable, grounded. but the only way to preserve that is by never again allowing the public so deep into your life. people loved you for your openness, how much of yourself that you shared. but then they used that to hurt you and you won't let it happen again. so you come up with a new strategy.

you want to write songs about a deep, intimate, long-lasting love, but your past "relationships" have only spanned a few months at most. you also want people to stop scrutinizing your actions, particularly your dating life; stop talking about it, speculating about it, criticizing you for it. you find a tall, blond, blue-eyed british boy. he will be part of the story you tell the world. he will be long-term, stable, happy. he will also be boring. no one will have anything to gossip about, and no one will go prying for anything under the surface. you take full control of your public image, to the smallest detail. eventually, your music will be heard for what it is, instead of as gossip-y tell-alls. you expand your creativity and meld "fact" with fiction to 1) throw everyone off the scent and 2) to create stunning art that you wouldn't have been able to when you felt limited to only write as the character of your public persona.

and behind the scenes, you can do whatever you want. are you still with your muse of 8 years? we don't know! are you dating other women, other people of any gender? we don't know! but you have your music and your privacy and you are at peace.