#sorry to vent. lol
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nobody knows that im fighting an insane bloody warriors battle in my head (feeling like my art sucks ill never be successful and i cant improve vs sometimes wanting to try)
#i feelllllllllllllll hrnghhhhhhhhh#i feel like im stuck#i know in my head that theres been some improvement but it doesnt really feel like there has been#i feel very very stuck#and feeling that way makes me want to draw even less#i havent properly sat down and drawn for a couple weeks and i can feel the weight of my pencil when i try now#i just feel like im constantly getting worse and like ill never make anything above average#idk if its adhd or depression or anxiety or a cocktail of all three in my brain but#it just feels impossible to me to actually get work done. i feel like everythings a waste of time bc none of its good#sorry to vent. lol#mine#personal
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I wish I was treated like I was physically little.
I wish I was greeted with a smile and a kind word by adults who didn't know me. I wish my shyness was seen as cute and not 'weird'. I wish my mistakes were corrected gently and forgiven. I wish I was carried to bed as I grew tired and tucked in with a kiss. I wish that when I grew frustrated and cried it was met with "aww, it's OK" and not sneers and laughter and "why are you acting like a baby? Grow up." I wish that when I got overwhelmed it was understood that I needed some quiet rest and I wasn't pushed to keep going.
I know lots of adults didn't give these graces even when I was physically little, but even the little bit that I got made it just that much easier. I'm still so small in such a big world, and it's just gotten rougher as I got bigger.
#sorry for lowkey venting lol#I just wish there was that gentleness afforded to kids yk?#even grown ups deserve it#sfw agere#sfw age regression
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#.rkgk#this is vent art sorry#strugglign and projecting onto suguri lol#hes so bpd coded it just makes sense#big cope#pokemon#pokemon fanart#kieran pokemon#suguri pokemon#pokemon kieran#pokemon suguri#pokemon scarlet and violet#feel weird for tagging this but whatever
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putting together and cleaning up some things ♡
mini ramble/vent/what have you below cut
I got completely and utterly distracted with life and having no motivation to post anyhing despite drawing everyday, as it goes :3
Hope you all are well, I have been focusing a lot on my stories and drawing a lot of my characters, and even though I've posted them a few times I always feel weirdly guilty about posting that since it's not really what I have an audience for, but I'm still going to because it's what I want to do and care for. I don't plan on making a seperate blog or anything since I like this blog as my little dumping site looool.
I haven't been working on a lot of fan content, but that's mostly because I just got burnt out and will still return to all my WIPS and projects I intended to do and then kinda fell off the face of the earth with so sorry.
I'm a busy guy stressed about credentials and life but it's all good, I've had this sitting in my drafts for like 2 months, stay tuned for me digging my head out of the mud :)
#sorry about the vent#lol#my art#toasterfireart#this has been sitting in my drafts for months#tian ye ke#faraway wanderers#priest novels#priest novel fanart#tyk#tyk fanart#wen kexing#zhou zishu#wenzhou#word of honor#woh#danmei fanart
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A Necessary Post - Yang, Taiyang & Seeing Red
I debated this being a message or a note or a reblog, but ultimately this warranted an essay. Because a hatred of nuance is not even remotely the reason why Tai is critiqued as a teacher or father.
With that fact in mind, let's begin:
During RWBY Volume 4, Episode 9: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back Taiyang has a great deal of critical feedback for Yang regarding her fighting style, personality & Semblance.
The issue is that Tai's words and advice when compared to what we saw on screen before & afterwards demonstrate he does not understand how it works or how she used it.
So here for your reading pleasure if a more or less line by line breakdown of Tai's advice and why I don't feel it holds up & more to the point, why I don't believe Yang utilized it.
Taiyang: Do you realize that you used your Semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?
Yang rightfully points out that her using Burn is no different than anyone else using their Semblances. I would add that Yang's Semblance only serves to enhance her already present abilities with damage taken in a fight. So her not using it would be stupidly holding back extra energy for no reason.
Tai's critique also fails to register that when using her Semblance to take out FNKI, Yang specifically disrupted the ground so Neon could not skate effectively & used the boost in power to turn Flynt's own weapon against him.
I will be addressing Mercury further down but she used it effectively and intellectually here and to great effect.
What's more, every other fights fighting style, weapons or both were literally built around their Semblances. Yang's threat level remains fairly consistent without her Semblance, all three of these other characters take a huge dip.
Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum.
Ignoring that calling the manifestation of Yang's soul a temper tantrum is another in a long line if dickish things Tai says to Yang. Her Semblance literally does not work that way.
Her anger has jack and shit to do with it, this has been explained & demonstrated time and time again. Yang only gets a power boost when she's been injured, the fact she tends to be angry when using it is because being hurt sucks and she's usually in an intense fight. When the fight is going well and she still gets to use it she's not angry, as seen with a pleased smirk here:
So as before, Tai's critique is bereft of any merit, Yang's Semblance does not work that way.
Taiyang: I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible!
Cite a time Yang thought she was invincible, cite it provably that Yang thought, said or indicated that she felt she was invincible. You can't because Yang never indicated as such this is something Tai is assuming about her at best.
& no her jumping in the Nevermore's mouth is not an example because she was not using her Semblance, did not take damage, it was a very effective strategy & seemingly either part of the plan, or was so easily understood that it could be safely and reliably worked into the plan. She wasn't using her Semblance here but finding evidence of risky behavior was hard, especially with her Semblance, go figure.
In fact every time Yang used her Semblance she did so only because someone landed a blow, which just happens in fights sometimes.
Taiyang: It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!
We know what happens when Yang misses, she can swing again!
After the first blow on the Paladin she missed & needed help to catch it, her missing had zero impact on her Semblances.
As to what happens if they are stronger, um, she loses, that sometimes happens in fights. Its not something Yang can do anything about by holding back on extra strength. Not to quote Qrow but sometimes bad things happen. Other characters losing to stronger opponents don't get given this kind of diatribe's because its pointedly obvious that there was nothing to be done about it.
& on the final piece, she was very pointedly not weak and tired after using it. The only times she has been shown to be is when she was extremely low on Aura regardless in which cases not using her Semblance is a death sentence.
So again, we've established Tai's critique comes from nowhere & his understanding of her Semblance is nonexistent.
Taiyang: But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it.
This is so painfully unfair it hurts.
No other character gets this kind of shit for expressing emotions in combat. In fact we see characters expressing emotions in battle all the time. Nor has she stopped displaying emotions in combat:
I already outlined how in all two of the Yang fights Tai actually witnessed she used strategy and retained excellent combat form. So again, baseless claims from Tai.
What's more, Yang primarily does use her Semblance as a fallback rather than rely on it in these fights. She only whipped it out against Mercury when he'd unleashed his seeming kill move on her and was confident he'd won.
Not using it here would be dumb and make no sense.
Yang doesn't rely on it to save her, she deploys it when it makes sense to & she has the energy or the need. This is more than we see from many characters.
Taiyang: It won't always save you. Obviously.
So now he is critiquing her for a fight he didn't even witness & knows jack shit about. So let's break this down once again:
Yang has spent the last 24 hours questions her sanity.
Yang's new home (Her words) is burning down.
Yang's sister is missing in all this chaos.
Then Yang's partner gets fucking stabbed, and the guy who did it is standing between them with a sword & gun, with fire all over Grimm all around.
Anything Yang can do he can counter, she tries to go around he only has to pivot. If she tries to fire from long range she might hit Blake. She tries an earth shock wave, she launches Blake into the fire.
She quite literally had no others options & zero time to try anything else because he can just shoot or stab Blake whenever he wants.
Taiyang: You definitely have your mom's stubbornness.
This, this right here is where all this is actually coming from. Tai is once again projecting Raven onto Yang despite them frankly having almost nothing in common.
With most of Yang's visible personality tells being inherited from Summer, such as the mother daughter shoulder check of V9. Thanks to chittychittyyangyang for the GIFs
Or as outlined in some songs with Yang's side of the lyrics explicitly citing how she is trying to fill the Summer shaped void in their lives.
Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away.
Taiyang: Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family.
Tai blames Raven for tearing their team apart. Save that by all accounts, barring her absence things seemed to be going fine. Qrow seemed to be present in their lives, Tai looked happy, the girls were happy & Summer at least seemed happy though we know she was covering up a lot of dread.
Keep in mind Tai is projecting Raven, the woman he blames for destroying the team and damaging the family onto his daughter who literally kept the family together after Summer died. Yang's established this, Ruby has established this, its canon.
Yang: I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone. (pause) Weiss, if you have something to say, then say it. Ruby: If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me.
Tai was not the one holding that home or family together. Unless you think the writers are gonna randomly swerve & say both Yang & Ruby are big whiny liars for some utterly nonsensical reasons. So no, I don't take him seriously as a narrator or critique of Yang, I have no reason to.
But let's push on, because I'm not done.
Taiyang: You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. (pointing at Zwei) That strength is all that matters in a fight.
Ah yes, Raven, the woman famously known for thinking the easiest way to deal with an obstacles is to tackle it head on. That's why she spent years adorning herself in a Grimm helmet that hid her eyes & raised a False Maiden to serve as her body double.
A woman so inclined to rely on her own raw strength that when she was ambushed by Salem's forces she decided to trick them into an ambush.
Then when fighting Cinder and was at a disadvantage she freezes her in place while making Cinder think she is going on the offensive leaving her to be crushed by Stalactites & also utilized mind games to distract her & deal the finishing blow... Cos she only relies on strength.
As to his final piece of advice I already address it up above, there was no way around Adam, the situation was fucked from the start.
Saying it was Yang's fault she was dismembered is no more than victim blaming, I stood by that in Volume 3 to to this day & beyond.
Taiyang: But if you just take a second look, then maybe you see... (walking toward her, stepping around Zwei) there's a way around as well.
But let's actually look at Seeing Red & if Yang listened to Tai's advice or if she not only ignored it but did the opposite of what he ordered.
Let's see she goes in with open aggression & emotions, and also takes many blows rather than going 'around' them somehow.
Yang, as if she were 'indestructible' outright tanks a massively charged up Aura beam for the purpose of increasing her strength.
Then burns through all of her Aura & Semblance energies delivering one direct blow, relying on it to save her & leaving her weak & tired.
Or in other words, she:
Yang didn't miss, but we know that isn't a real issue anyway.
Yang used her Semblance to 'win' the fight & very much did rely on it to save her.
Yang expressed anger & many other emotions in the battle & still continues to does so.
Yang willingly took huge risks that involved her being able to take tons of damage rather than go "Around" the problem.
Yang knew Adam was likely stronger given it was 2 V1 but relied on her Semblance to get her out of that bind and she was in fact left weak and tired.
This is also the first time she has done several of these things, or otherwise demonstrated these traits, such as being left weak and tired or willingly tanking big attacks rather than just being hit by surprise or due to being overwhelmed.
I don't take Tai's advice seriously because none of it was accurate or aligned with the Semblance we saw in action or had described to us.
I don't trust Tai's opinion on Yang because his take on her is explicitly informed by Raven & not the Yang we spent four & then five more volumes getting to know.
I don't take Tai's words over Yang's, Ruby's or what we see on screen because Tai is at best a secondary or minor character & a recurring theme in RWBY is the failure of older generations.
These failures are not just in the past but how they have been consistently failing the next generation as the story is being told. There is zero reason to think Tai is some magic exception to this narrative trend when much more well explored characters like Maria, Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, Raven, and hell, Summer Rose are not.
& that is my stance on that, thanks for tuning in!
#RWBY#Yang Xiao Long#tai yang xiao long#Meta#Text Post#Analysis#character analysis#Venting just alittle#Sorry if this was rude but I get quite heated about this#Especially when being directly or indirectly insulted#& framed as though I am watering down the characters or show or otherwise not meditating on the text#Yang has flaws. But her flaws are not Raven's flaws & I am not obliged to take Tai seriously when nothing he says makes sense#Do not clown on this post#Taiyang Xiao Long#Read the whole damn thing or don't respond#I will block people who isolate three words & throw a random pic at me & claim 'Debunked LOL'#Demonstrate you did your research or don't waste my time.
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ok but i'm a committed english language nerd so i've been thinking about the prepositions in all you get is confetti a lot
specifically i'm talking about the chorus, "you can't be everything for everyone but you can be everything to someone"
like i just think the difference between being everything for someone and to someone is so specific and also so massive like. being everything for someone is all you. you're putting in all the work. but to someone? no work on your end you're just there and that's everything. idk i think it's a really cool detail
#bears in trees#all you get is confetti#analysis#sorry if this is not news but i genuinely can't stop thinking about it so i'm venting it here lol
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I want to be more involved in the DCA community.
There's so many fun things going on and I always miss out. Partly because of my time constraints, and mostly my irrational insecurities that I may come off as annoying or weird or boring lol.
Idk it's hard to explain but I want to interact more with everyone in the DCA fandom. I think it's mostly because I got so used to keeping to myself that I don't really know where to start.
I'm sorry I seem so standoffish or too withdrawn. It's something I'm trying to work on lol. Anyway, I'll try harder to be more involved in the fandom 🌟
#restinsodaroni talking#gifs#soda can vent#not to mention I have to take care of a mama cat and her kittens now#and I was given another kitten lol#Theres more things keeping my time but alas what can I do#seriously sorry if I do come off as unfriendly 😅
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a terrible injustice
#tw sa#tw blood#digital art#queer artist#trans artist#original character#digital painting#oc#oc artist#historical oc#oc lore#cowboy oc#oc artwork#procreate#vent art#vent drawing#cptsd#idk how to explain this#ig you get the idea#this one is personal but it can pass as oc lore#dolly#also sorry for constantly changing dollys outfit in this scene when i draw it lol#i needed the plain dress for the handprint in this one#trauma art
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currently experiencing massive amounts of imposter syndrome. tryin to purge it with relaxing bg warm ups part 1 of my mw 'improvise' series ft price n a screw driver. and a mw comic for my au im ditchin since i missed the vibe i was aimin for
aaand a very pretty man. that was gonna be my roach in my au, but again, way too pretty for my lil bug 😂
#into the void#tagless wips#somethings i've learned over the decade of being a freelancer in the art world are so genuinely upsetting to me#i wonder why i bother a lot of days wish i never saw those patterns#those two yrs of not sharin a single piece of art with anyone did wonders for my mental health in relation to my art#art can be so violent sometimes. sigh#let me lay in that field again with only the sway of grasses and flowers for company. the dirt at my back#and a mind that's as tranquil and endless as that cloudless sky#take me back to better days when my thoughts werent so weary and my mind so dreary#long post#bit of a tag vent sorry for anyone that reads tags lol
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the way ppl look down on oc & self-insert writing so casually is so trashy. like i was just looking at this poll “how messed up your taste in fanfic is” and it was “you read self-insert writing unironically” or something along the lines of it. like maybe it was a joke but idk and it just makes me so ??? bc i see ppl bashing writers/readers of self-insert fanfic on tik tok and twt all the time too and it’s so mean lol. nobody can just let ppl be happy without having something nasty to say ab it.
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Don't feed the plants.
#the things i would do to this man it is insane he has a damn chokehold on me i never want him to let go#im sorry i am going nuts over him but he is my problematic babygirl#he is such a bitch in my head but i love brats#lmfao jfc sorry sorry ya'll i just needed to vent#anyways#osomatsu san#osomatsu-san#mr. osomatsu#Karamatsu#Karamatsu Matsuno#Akuma Karamatsu#Beelzebub Karamatsu#fan art#my art#little shop of horrors ref#anyone is free to go wild in the tags i love reading that shit lol#btw i am probably never gonna draw something this nuts ever again holy shit that took forever#worth it but daaamnn dude never again unless you pay me
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Critics/Antis: Lmao! You guys literally have Vivzie in your head 24/7! Like it's so embarrassing!
Fans: ...It might seem crazy what I'm about to say
#i dont think antis realize this isn't much of an insult#how dare you constantly think about something you like x3#okay man im sorry your life is misery lol#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#vivziepop#chat post#tomfooleryy#kinda vent
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goddamn being biologically female really is like a lifetime prison sentence without a chance for parole isn't it
#at this point the hope of someday getting on T is what's keeping me alive right now (only exaggeration dont worry lol)#fuck#sorry for the vent#tw#vent#vent tag#vent post#tw vent#personal vent#dysphoria vent#cw dysphoria#tw dysphoria#trans vent#ftm dysphoria#trans ftm#ftm#trans#fuck periods#if you're a terf/radfem get the fuck away from here i hate you
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karkat doodle to try to get back in the groove of posting!!
#sorry its lazy XD just a vent lol#homestuck#my art#karkat vantas#he listened to too much slipknot loooool
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okay the fact that the post going around with 4000 notes about censorship at the hugo awards was titled "chinese censorship at the hugos" is like. why do all you totally-not-racist i-just-hate-the-government ppl always have to put "chinese" in front of everything like it's a fucking qualifier or something. do you guys write "french censorship" or "german censorship" too oh wait no because it's only the chinese that are evil in some way and we have to let everyone know that this "censorship" is uniquely chinese in its characteristics.
#my text#sinophobia#sorry putting this one as unrebloggable bc it was a vent post i don’t want breaching containment#that being said i can make a more articulate post on this phenomenon that doesn’t vague someone lol
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me when the. m. me when t
#vent doodles#flesh of a hare#the flesh pit#bite#tw blood#blood#panic attack#anxiety#violence#when the intrusive thoughts win and u aint even sorry abt it#anyway i have alotta feelings today lmaooooooo i hate it here#rlly im just big sad bc my own stupid comfort character has turned into smthn that makes me feel like actual garbage#im tired. lol
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