#bit of a tag vent sorry for anyone that reads tags lol

[hai-nae]

currently experiencing massive amounts of imposter syndrome. tryin to purge it with relaxing bg warm ups part 1 of my mw 'improvise' series ft price n a screw driver. and a mw comic for my au im ditchin since i missed the vibe i was aimin for

aaand a very pretty man. that was gonna be my roach in my au, but again, way too pretty for my lil bug 😂

[always-just-red]

hihihi! sylus girlie here. as a college student i often never take breaks whenever im working and often stay up late finishing up assignments. then i stress out but never tell anyone and suffer in silence:’) i was wondering if you could do something similar with sylus x mc where mc often forgets to take breaks at the hunters association and is always the first the volunteer for missions so she could improve.

but then it’s starting to take a toll on her and is so so stressed, but feels bad about venting to someone or saying no to new missions.

maybe one day she’s doing a simple task like cooking herself dinner (or something) but accidentally burns herself and she just ends up breaking down and decides to call sylus and he immediately goes to her. :’)

feel free to decline or change anything! i just like the thought of someone comforting u when ur overworked and stressed bc i wish someone would do that to me lol.

Fast-tracked this one for you, anon! I'm really sorry you're having a tough time right now, and I hope this brings you a bit of comfort- remember, Sylus would want you to take care of yourself! Good luck with all your studies, and feel free to send in another request if ever you need it! 🥰

Technical Difficulties

Sylus x Reader 🩸

Summary: You're not very good at asking for help when you're struggling. Thankfully? You don't always need to.

Genre: fluff + comfort ft. a very domestic Sylus!

Warnings/Additional tags: stressed reader (has a lil bit of a breakdown!), some swearing, uses of 'kitten' and 'sweetie', Sylus is so soft here he should come with a health warning tbh

| Word count: 2.4k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

In the event of a wanderer incursion where evacuation of citizens is obstructed or otherwise not viable, association protocol 32.3-A dictates that you should first… That you should first… What?

Your pen is poised above the blank space where your answer should be. 32.3-A is a general procedure: something to do moving people to the nearest shelter. Or, wait— are you supposed to try to contact support, first?

You drop your pen with a huff and flop face-down onto the mock exam. It’s too much. Too much information, too much responsibility. Open textbooks are spread over your desk and around your head like an unholy halo— stacks of them, filled with codes and procedures. They’re supposed to be helpful, but they’re not; they’re drowning you.

Your phone pings and you glance up. Text from Tara:

Hi! Hate to be a bother, but did you finish glancing over that practice question for me? xx

Shit. You’d completely forgotten. You straighten, reaching for your laptop so you can load up your latest emails. You’ve got time to look over it; the exam isn’t for another two days. Breathe, ok? You have time.

Seven unread emails. What? You scan over them frantically. Two from the Captain: accepting additional mission requests you’d applied for. Were those both this week? One from Nero: you hadn’t sent in that finished report. Three from your colleagues, all scrambling for help with the exam. One from Tara:

Thanks for saying you’d look over this for me! You’re the best at this stuff!

Ok, so: Tara’s practice question. Nero’s report. Your own practice questions. Then… dinner? Maybe that should come first. You’d skipped lunch— had one slice of toast for breakfast. But you don’t wanna cook; cooking takes time, and you’ve got none. None.

Your phone is ringing, snapping you back to reality, and you peek over at it. Sylus?

“Hi,” you greet as you put him on speaker. On your laptop, you’re opening up Tara’s attachment.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

Always straight to the point. “Uh… yeah?” you frown as you read through your friend’s work. “Why? What d’you need?”

Sylus sighs through the phone. “That was a test, sweetie. You failed.”

“Yeah, well…” you murmur, highlighting a sentence with your cursor. “Add it to the list.”

The man doesn’t find that funny. The phone is quiet— too quiet. “Are you alright?” he asks, just as your gaze wanders to check if the call has disconnected.

“Mmhmm.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Sylus.”

You stare down at your phone. He’s waiting for more, but you won’t give it to him. You’re one word away from slipping, and you can’t let the dam crumble, especially in front of him. He’s smiling from the phone call background: a photo he insisted would ‘ruin’ his image when you took it last week.  

“I need to go, ok?” Your eyes are shining.

“Ok,” he says softly.

There’s a bleep as the call cuts out, and the photo is gone. Waiting beneath it is another text from Tara, and one from Xavier: Nero told me to txt U bout a report??

You swallow the ache in your throat and slump down on your desk again.

…

You wake up with a start, your head ringing. The tangerine sky outside your window’s turned dark— your laptop, too— and light spills from your desk lamp, yellow on white pages. There’s more, and you turn, tracing it back to where it leaks through the crack of your almost closed bedroom door.

You hadn’t left any lights on in your flat. You hadn’t switched on your lamp, either.

Tiredness is dulling your thoughts and your senses, but you know you feel uneasy. There’s something in the air: smoky, but not unpleasant. You can hear something as well. No— two things. A faint, almost imperceptible hiss, and a more obvious humming.

Hunter instincts kick in. You roll open a drawer of your desk, snatching up one of your standard-issue pistols and removing its safety with a click. You stalk up to the door, your trained footsteps near silent. You take a deep breath, clearing your head. One. Two.

Three! You shoulder the door open, leaping through with your gun trained forwards.

At the other end of your sights, Sylus turns, an eyebrow raised. Your kitchen stove seethes behind him, and he gives you a once over as he sluggishly raises both hands. “You flatter me, kitten,” he smirks in surrender, looking between your weapon and his: a spatula.

You lower your gun, your heart still racing. “I could have killed you, Sylus!”

“That’s the spirit.” His hands drop, too.

“How did you even get in here?”

He’s turned back to the stove, and he’s using the spatula to push something around a frying pan. “Hmm…” he muses, then blink— he’s gone. He’s at your fridge a second later, materialising from thin air. “I wonder,” he finishes as he reaches around for something.

Show off. “You know how I feel about you telepor…” No. “Phas…” No. “Magic…king…?” By now he’s watching you over his shoulder. “You know— that thing you do.” You’re twinkling your fingers. “What do you even call that?”

“Magicking, yeah.”

You huff in response and he laughs, walking back over to where he’s cooking two steaks and preparing a salad. You’re still coming to terms with the fact he’s even here, looking... quite frankly ridiculous, because he’s wearing your apron. It’s too small for him. Baby pink. Frilly, too.

“You know how I feel about you magicking into my home,” you mutter distractedly, because actually? He’s kinda pulling it off. His sleeves are rolled up past his elbows, tight on his arms. “Use the door like a regular person, you psychopath.”  

“Where’s the fun in that?” He sounds smug. Ugh, he must feel your eyes on him; he must know. You think he’s toying with the idea of calling you out, but he doesn’t, and when he does speak, the smugness is gone. “Mephisto saw you were sleeping. I didn’t wish to disturb you. You sounded… tired. On the phone.”

Guilt twinges in your chest as you draw up beside him. “Is that why you’re here? Playing housewife?” You pick at a frill on the apron.

“Poke fun all you want,” he sneers. “This shirt costs more than your entire wardrobe.”

“Snob.”

“Ha.” You have to retract your hand as he threatens it with the spatula. “Watch yourself, sweetie. I’ll remember that the next time you ask to ‘borrow’ my card.”

You laugh gently. Now that’s a threat. You’re about to tell him so when you hear a ping from the other room, and your heart sinks. Just a single sound, and you’re back to where you were an hour ago, at your desk with the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Sylus hums in acknowledgment as you excuse yourself and hurry back to your workspace, snatching up your phone. You missed three calls while you sleeping: all from Xavier. He’s been texting you, too.

Nero’s yelling at me

Wants to talk to U

Can U pick up? Pls?

It’s one report, for gods’ sake. You feel your chest tightening again. You just needed to proofread it, but it’s probably fine, right? You wake your laptop out of standby; you’ll just send it as it is. “I’ll just be a minute, Sy,” you call out. “Need to finish one thing.”

He mumbles something in response, and you imagine it’s for the best you can’t hear it. Your keyboard clacks as you tap out a quick email to Nero, then you surf your files for the report he so desperately wanted. It should be… here. You attach it. Hit send.

Nothing happens.

Huh. You hit send again. Then again— still nothing. You groan, trying to back out of the email. None of your keys are working. Your cursor is stuck. “Oh, come on,” you release on an impatient breath. Switch it off, switch it on again? You hit the off button. The screen goes black.

With a sigh of relief, you wait a moment before switching it on again. The screen stays black.

“No, no, no, no,” you plead quietly, but it doesn’t cooperate. Your phone rings and you snap, hitting more buttons: Answer. Speaker. “What?” you hiss.

“Whoa. Hi…?” Xavier’s voice is cautious. “I don’t know if you saw my texts, but Nero—”

“The report, Xavier! I know! I know!” You try holding down your laptop’s power button. “I’m trying to send it, but my shitty computer won’t—”

“No way!” Tara’s voice comes in on the other line; did they both get the night shift? “Hey you! Did you get a chance to—”

“No, ok?!” you practically cry out. “No! Can you two just back off? Please!”

“Oh, sorry, I…” Tara sounds upset, then distracted. “Wait, Xavier wants to speak to you.”

“Are you ok?” he asks after a second.

Ok? You just want everything to stop. “I’m fine. Shit, tell Tara I’m sorry. I am sorry, Xavier, I just… I just need my laptop to…”

Work. Work! Nothing’s working. Half of your files are on there. How much of it is backed-up? Panic is setting in, gripping your body like ice. Your throat hurts and your mouth is dry, the dam is breaking and you can’t stop it. Tears prick at your eyes as you blink at the blank, hopeless screen. Your reflection stares back at you.

You let out a sob, expelling days of frustration and exhaustion. Everywhere you look there’s something you need to do, something you need to learn, something you need to finish. You can’t. You clasp a hand over your mouth, muffling your own cries.

Xavier is speaking— saying something over the phone— but you can’t hear him.

The light changes, and there’s a figure above you, lifting the phone from the desk. “They’ll call you back,” the shadow says. Sylus.

“Wait, who is this?” Xavier.

“That’s Skye!” Tara.

Your friends’ distant voices cut out as Sylus ends the call. He sets the phone down again, nudging your laptop out of view, then lowers himself until all you can see is him: his red eyes, softer than you’ve ever seen them. “Come on, sweetie,” he coaxes, guiding your hands over his shoulders.

You understand what he’s asking of you. His arms wrap around you and you hold him tighter, letting him lift you out of your chair. He feels warm, his skin ever so slightly flushed from where he’s been standing over the stove, and he pulls your legs around his waist, letting him carry you with ease.

With your face buried in his shoulder, you can’t tell where he’s taking you, and you don’t care. His shirt is going damp against your cheeks. You want to stop crying, but you can’t with the taste of your tears on your lips. You feel weak. You feel pathetic.

Something solid is behind you, and Sylus is setting you slowly down on the kitchen counter. He’s away from you for a moment— moving the frying pan off of the heat and turning a dial on the stove— but then he’s back, standing between your legs, standing close. You’re looking down until his hand is under your chin, lifting it with the delicate touch one employs when inspecting a flower that might break.

He shushes you without a hint of impatience. “Look at me,” he directs quietly, and when you do, he unrolls his shirtsleeves— drawing the cuffs over his hands so he can use them to wipe your eyes. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You do— you tell him everything. The hunter’s exam. The textbooks. The extra patrols you’ve been signing up for. The work you’ve been doing for your friends. The stupid report. The even more stupid computer.

Sylus listens collectedly, nodding his head and issuing the odd hum of understanding. He listens to all of it, and when you’re done, he pushes your hair back from your face with a sympathetic sigh. “Oh, sweetie.” A tendril is tucked behind your ear. “You should have said something.”

“I know.” Your gaze is still shy of his. “But how can I? I need to do this— be this— for everyone.”

His hands are on your cheeks again, drawing back your focus. “You’re just one person,” he says. “You— just you— and that’s all you need to be. You’re stubborn, and strong, but you’re not invincible. Even Linkon’s shiniest hunter is allowed to have limits. Everyone does.”

“Even you?” you snivel, setting him up for a quip.  

Nothing. He smiles. Shrugs. “Even me.”

It’s hard to believe when he’s staring back at you, oh so solid, oh so perfect. Always a picture of strength: of fiery determination or calculated coolness. Everything in extremes; nothing by halves. Except… his hair is slightly dishevelled from where he’s been working away in the heat. There’s a damp patch on his shirt. He’s wearing your pink apron, and there’s mascara on his sleeves.

Then there’s the way he’s looking at you.

It shifts when you finally look back. He drops his hands from your face and pulls back a little. “You do a lot for your friends,” he continues with confidence, but he’s rubbing his neck, “and they care about you. You should afford them the chance to return the favour. It’s only fair.”

“You’re right.”

“…Good.”

Perhaps it’s the fact you’ve vaguely composed yourself— or the way you’re watching him like you’re seeing something new— but he straightens self-consciously, rolling his shirtsleeves back up as his eyes go sharp: assuming their usual severity.

“You’re too soft, kitten,” he scolds, reaching out to tousle your hair until you’re glaring daggers from behind a curtain of it. “How many times do I have to tell you? You put yourself first. Always. No-one else matters.”

There’s quiet for all of a second. He can’t help correcting: “Well, except me, of course.” The apron’s crooked, and he flattens it with a brush of his hands. “Any time spent with me qualifies as self-care. You really should know that by now, sweetie.”

Your mouth curls, but you haven’t quite got it in you to laugh— not yet. Stretching his neck with two sideways tips of his head, Sylus returns to his post at the oven, where the meal he’s cooking has almost certainly gone cold. You watch as the stove flickers back to life. The man is humming again, and though the food might yet be salvaged, whatever melody he’s attempting is long-past recognition, let alone saving.

You chuckle to yourself.

And you can’t see it, but Sylus is smiling, too.

[mariejordans]

i honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post, so i guess i’ll start with hi! sorry, i’ve been gone so long, though probably most of you didn’t even notice i was gone lol. sorry for not giving any warning to my absence, and i am especially sorry to the mutuals who have reached out to me that i haven’t responded to. i was and still am struggling with anxiety and depression and towards the new year it was getting to be a bit much for me, so i decided to take a mental health break from social media.

i’d honestly been contemplating coming back, but today i received a dm from someone with a link to a post that was accusing me of bullying and creating fake accounts to bully other people in this fandom. first of all, i would like to emphasize that this is not true. attached below is a screenshot of all the blogs that i own (EDIT 2/9/24: i have since deleted the screenshot for my own privacy and i believe that since i made this post, there has been more than enough evidence to clear my name.) milfsociety is my main account, which i have linked before on this blog and many of my mutuals also follow me on my main, and the rest of them are just me saving my old usernames or other sideblogs that i rarely use, but all of them have been inactive for two months at least.

i do NOT condone bullying ever, and to be continually accused of it by this person is very disheartening. it started with this post (seen below) that i made back in november after seeing a post discrediting marie as the main character of gen v. i admit that my language was probably a bit harsher than was necessary, but honestly my intention was not to send hate to op (which is why i never tagged it with any gen v related tags) but to defend marie. it also wasn’t meant to be solely specific to this one person but as a general post because at the time, there were lots of accounts discrediting marie and to be honest, i was just kinda venting bc of how sick of it i was. (also, just to mention, i have intentionally left out their username because the last thing i want is to send hate to this person.) this was the only post i made on the topic and later i heard that apparently op blocked me afterward (which does not offend me in the slightest since i have since done the same thing) so this honestly should have been the end of it.

i honestly hadn’t given this post a second thought until a little under a month later i received this ask out of nowhere, accusing me of ableism and bullying. i replied to this ask, which i will link here. honestly this ask came as a complete shock to me, because i had honestly forgotten all about my previous post.

i responded to anon and in the reply i apologized to their friend for my hurtful comments and expressed that it was never my intention to attack anyone, especially anyone with a disability, which i did not know about when i initially made the first post. i also explained my side, stating why i made the post in the first place, which i still stand by. originally, i had linked their post in my reply, which in hindsight was a mistake that i regret and i should’ve known better. again, my last intention ever is to spread hate and negativity or to bully anyone, so i deleted the link when i was asked by a third party. this person has also since deleted that post about marie entirely.

shortly after i posted the reply, i guess i can only assume that whoever anon was told them about the reply. i’m honestly not sure if they’ve ever actually read this reply or not, but they made a response to my reply, accusing me of harassment and bullying. honestly, it really confused me at the time, since i’d only made two posts in reference to them, and one was a reply to an ask, but we ended up having a third party account who was mutuals with both of us acting as a mediator to settle things and i genuinely wanted to move on from the situation. we both had each other blocked and it seemed to me that anon was just trying to instigate more drama between us, so i thought it best to just leave it at that. i was also going through some mental health issues at the time (unrelated to this situation even though it didn’t help) and had been considering taking a break from tumblr, and so i thought it would be best to just go inactive for a while.

this is honestly the first time i’ve used tumblr in the two months since i’ve been gone, so i have no idea what else has been happening regarding any other blogs and this person, but apparently i am being named as the sole instigator here and i just wanted to once and for all clear up this issue and my name. i’m honestly not sure if this person will see this post or if they’ll even accept it as truth. i can’t force them or anyone to believe me as i really don’t know what else i’d have to do to prove that i don’t have any other secret accounts other than making this post.

i will probably continue to be inactive on this account as i think it is in everyone’s best interest. i never wanted to contribute or start any drama in this fandom, but i feel like i am partially responsible in how this situation has turned out, so i would also like to apologize to you all as well. i’ve never had an account of mine get as big as this one has (thank you to everyone who liked and supported my silly little ramblings!) and i can honestly say i have had the best time interacting and fangirling with you all about this show and these characters that i love so much and i will continue to enjoy and love gen v and marie from afar!

goodbye for now,

rose (aka mariejordans)

[tubbytarchia]

You don't have to publish this ask but I just need to vent to someone who might understand, cause like, I'm over here like "I don't like fh or scott sorry, I promise though I won't talk about it or maintag just letting you know so you don't waste time since I know there's overlap between us, also I have a lot of interesting ideas about them still but I won't talk or write about them because I know that would make some of you upset and more than anything else I want everyone here to have a fun time and ship and let ship <3" and these unproblematic only fh fans will turn around and be like "oh so you're homophobic? You're the most annoying person on the planet? You're just trying to start a ship war? You're the problem with fandom" like BITCH?! Never met people so determined to make their actually quite comparatively good and healthy fandom toxic

This is where it stops being funny and actually genuinely really upsets me, is that very few people dare to talk about "toxic" Flower Husbands, let alone maintag it (and they should be able to! Because it's not fucking hate? Its valid discussion and expression of opinion that doesn't attack anyone). A few people have been more vocal about it recently and I've seen more people besides you come forth NOW, because you didn't want to upset anyone or get shittalked etc in the past for holding a different opinion to the overwhelming majority. I know people who've joked "am I just insane? Am I just stupid for seeing something here that everybody else is vehemently against?". There's evidently people who have just shut up because otherwise they'll get burned at stake, or they stay in their own little circles

And then a few too many FH posts that dare even imply any negative qualities about FH from a character standpoint get a little bit seen, and suddenly FH tag is full of 10 people defending their ship's honor because how dare you!! The way these people are so fucking volatile about fuck-all upsets me so much. Like, haha, we've been proven right I guess! You DO get burned at stake. These people probably aren't even bothering to read any such FH interpretations if they even SEE any, and don't just see 5 other posts claiming "oh my god can people just shut up about toxic FH and write characters breaking up for NORMAL reasons" (genuinely baffling concern that I've seen like at least 3 times btw??) that just leads them to believe that this is a wide-spread "problem" that needs neutralizing? They take even the thought of such posts as personal attacks that prohibit them from shipping FH for some reason? Like dude I fucking dig FH? Just for not always the same reasons as the majority but I guess I've sinned and shouldn't be allowed to speak lol. And these people don't HAVE to read interpretations they don't like, goddamn, look past?? Block if it hurts you that much?? As you said, the Tumblr traffic fandom is largely really kind and healthy so I can't fathom where the hell these guys come from. And then they proclaim the people who have largely shut up or kept to themselves "the problem", and that's the exact response that has been feared lmao

sorry. Long answer but fuck. I'm so sorry anon. The Flower Husbands scene is truly miserable if you dare think of them as anything other than cuddly and cute and teasing at most. Your interpretation is invalid because. ? homophobia I guess lmao

[blackcatcorvid]

hii quick little haphazard intro post :3

I'm Kat, 19, he/they/it pronouns, bisexual n mostly t4t

This is my nsfw sideblog, (edit: originally) basically for anything i was nervous about putting on main- so almost all kink posts with a slight dash of vents thrown in

My DNI is pretty chill i think? Basically, anyone is welcome to come here I'll just block liberally if I feel the need to, so don't be a minor here, don't be transphobic/racist/etc, don't be a creep

I love random DMs, feel free to message me whenever, as long as they aren't unsolicited pics- that's not to say I dislike pictures, but don't send them without asking :)

I post (mostly reblog honestly) about hypno, cnc, intox, impact play, blood, etc- pretty much whatever i think is hot! Incest/fauxcest/some mommy stuff are mild squicks for me, so that will mostly not be found here (unless the rest of a post is good or it's really funny, anything for the bit yk)

I don't really have much of a personal tag system, I use #oh hey it's me for photos of myself, #kat is drunk for any posts i make while intoxicated (edit: this is drunk or high, but i'm not changing the tag at this point lol), and will sometimes tag posts for relevant kinks but not reliably, i don't tend to tag for triggers but if i like u and we talk lmk and i can add one (though my memory isn't great so if i do so and then forget occasionally sorry it is not intentional!)

Anyway, if you've read to the end here, hi! hello! ty for reading and welcome to my blog :D

added later: did a hypno kink list for funsies and figured it'd be good to put here lol

[prstmmprhdl]

Sooo I was tagged by @nanomooselet (sempai noticed me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) no but really woooow a person with so much such cool trigun meta knows I exist? I’m literally starstruck)

But I’m stupid and I don’t know who to tag in return :( I’m not even sure I know how to see who I’m mutuals with? I’m a technological granny that’s all anyone needs to know about me lol

But the questions are actually different:

Last song: Not Found by Buck-Tick. That’s a great song, I kinda forgot existed and actually expected to listen to Mudai (which means “No name”, so, it’s not that weird to confuse the two).

Favorite color: green. Deep moss green is the best, but any hue is great.

Currently watching: ugggh. Thanks to my husband I watch ongoings now ( >___>) they are suddenly really good. Everybody knows Dungeon Meshi, I think. It’s already a cult classic as a manga and Trigger continues to make history. I’ve juuust finished Frieren and Apothecary Diaries, Bucchigiri and Warumono San no kyuujitsu, Yubisaki to renren and Majyo to Yajyu. Have started Yoru no kagame wa oyogenai (PLEASE WATCH IT. JUST FOR THE CINEMATOGRAPHY ALONE! PS - god I love the way anime of this new decade uses “camera movement” and colors. Tengoku daimakyo and Chainsawman are probably the best examples here, but this slice of life/music dramedy already looks amazing) and Shyuumatsu no train wa doko e iku (this is boringly simple in the art department in general but the promise and the visualization of the surreal parts is really good, I’m hooked!). Gmg. I do watch movies as well, like, Poor things and Aliza Frankenstein are extremely good. Dune is very beautiful. Mami Wata is a black and white gem of a movie. But I think I should shut up already.

Sweet/savory/spicy: savory I guess? However I’m not a native English speaker and had to google for some time as I’ve previously considered savory not a taste, but… a feel? Dunno.

Relationship status: married. As for friendship, it’s mostly online as most my beautiful ladies live far away ~_~

Current obsession: Trigun. And. Like. Really. It is an OBSESSION. I love all the characters, I literally fall asleep and wake up with them on my mind. I’ve made myself a felted Vash toy. I’ve watched Stampede twice (don’t look at the number of things I watch. Without my husband I can’t finish shit. But this! I’ve screencapped every second of it it seems. I’ve read manga in English and Japanese (and sometimes badly translated to Russian for the lulz - there’s so much swearing it’s basically a different story). I’ve committed two art pieces for the first time in my life. I’ve put art on my walls and my laptop. And I even returned to reading fan fiction after almost a decade of staying away from ao3 (no shade here, I just never loved anything as much as to need any additional materials. Except for Hannibal. But that show was too perfect and didn’t need anything but deep analytics on the symbolism). Hmh. I want to plug “Becoming Eden” by Lenipes here. It’s so good it has become a fourth trigun “canon” for me.

Last thing I googled: how does savory taste lol

Hehe. That’s so long. I guess I just wanted to vent a bit?

Who can I tag? @6wings-manyeyes @esotericbird

Sorry to bother you. No pressure and all that~ just a little tag game to get to know mutuals better.

[sunlightfeeling]

can i just say, your blog is doing something to my brain ?? LMAO i actually feel a kimutaku fixation coming on- 😭

I feel so honored that I/my blog act as a harbinger 🥹 LOL

…the harbinger of kimutaku 🤔 …new title?

Fun fact: Y’all may have noticed but I don’t actually call him “kimutaku” or tag him as such. The reason why is because he doesn’t really like the name. I read about it here…I’ll reblog it soon ; I think I know where it is reblogged, post right after this one. There’s a different nickname he has, “ Captain” and you’ve probably seen it if you’ve seen Instagram profiles or whatever with “C&C” or “Captain&Crew”. That goes all the way back to his first radio show, and I think that’s what his fan club is called now(?) I refuse to call him that; just…I’m not that type of fan lol.

ew…I derailed I’m so sorry 😭😭

I’m always available if you need to vent/gush/etc etc about him (actually goes for anyone reading!) 🫶🏻. It’s so easy to get thrown down a void with him considering there are so many things to watch, read, etc. It’s honestly both a blessing and a curse.

He’s like a worm, though. Like, for me, the initial fixation snuck up on me and embedded itself LOL. I didn’t expect that it was a full-on fixation until it was too late and had dropped down a bit of a drama rabbit hole. I think I watched like 4 or 5 of his dramas/movies before I realized that he was something.

…at least now he’s typically at baseline (unless I watch a con apparently…🙃). But it’s a lot of mental work to try to keep him there, unfortunately. I really wish I could enjoy him just as a special interest, lol. Because hyperfixating amplifies the intensity way too much and it isn’t even fun because I’m “enjoying” content at a surface level…like only caring about his ✨aesthetics✨ and not the actual content.

SO, I totally totally understand if it ever becomes intense/overwhelming/even unwanted. I have been there and am still there sometimes. ❤️ I’M HERE FOR Y’ALL!!

#kimutaku support group

I AM SO SO SORRY THAT I KIND OF DERAILED THIS ASK 🙇🏻‍♀️

[please-ignore-mee]

ℌ𝔢𝔩𝔩𝔬 𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔜𝔬𝔲'𝔳𝔢 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔪𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔉𝔞𝔯 ... 𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔡𝔬𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢?

I haven't opened up to someone in the past like 7 years, which isn't healthy. I know. I just... don't like being vulnerable. But of course, the gods love me so my mental illness is now affecting my work. I'm getting into a lot of trouble because of my depression. I really need to get a fucking hold on myself so this is my way to get me to open up more. I know a lot about why I am the way I am... I just don't have anyone to explain it to thats a lie. im a fucking liar, i have so, so so many people who would help me in a heartbeat i just dont go to them. why? i dont fucking know.

hehehe also i love dark humor and if i posted bout it on my main people would be concerned about me sooooooo yeah im here 👍🏼

ℭ𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔪𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱. ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔫𝔬 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢. ℑ 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔢𝔵𝔦𝔰𝔱 𝔞𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔩𝔩 :))

𝔖𝔥𝔢/𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔤𝔞𝔢

ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔄𝔇ℌ𝔇 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫. 𝔄𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔱. ℑ 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔴 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱.

if anyone from my main finds this, im deleting this account my main and tumblr all together. thats a joke lol, i wouldnt do all that its not a joke. i would. ANYWAYS HAHA i dont even know why im doing this- sorry, im just a bit of an attention seeker hehe

My DMs and Inbox are always open. Please, please vent to me.

i know its toxic and mean but helping others helps me feel good about myself. Don't mind whatever i post, i'm always willing to talk to you. About anything you need. i won't judge, i promise.

Also, please send hate. I know everyone hates me and it's driving me insane everyone keeps tolerating me and being nice. Send me anon hate. please leave it on anon tho because if any of my friends admitted to the fact they hated me i would probably break down hehe, i dont even know what the fuck i want, why am i so complicated?? Also know that I'll be inactive for periods on ends im sorry, im so so sorry, i tried, i really tried, i just cant. theres so much and im so little. im sorry.

TW!!! uhhh depression obvi, suicidal intention??, self harm but in weird ways, food talk, nausea and stuff, dissociation???, i dont even know anymore just dont read the rest of my blog

TAGS:

#ignore me ----> please just don't try to make me feel better or anything, its gonna make me feel worse. feel free to comment 'same' or 'mood'. ik some people say it makes em feel worse but sometimes its what i need :)) #i exist ----> do whatever you want. talk to me. ignore me. i dont mind. do whatever. #please... ----> please, please, please talk to me. im sorry, i just need someone. anyone. im so sorry.

[kermitmentality]

helloooo!!

welcome to my blog :) a bit about myself~

hello! my name is giulia! i am 18 years old and my pronouns are she/her

i am queer, not sure what labels except for demi-romantic and demi-sexual (most likely les but i don’t need to know rn :))

i am also single :) and loving it tbh

i have been diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance. i have had an €d for the past 4 years of my life, putting myself through pain to only yield zero results due to these conditions. i have decided i am going to try to heal my body in a *healthy* way. i cannot say i am recovering because i obsess over making myself healthy, and other reasons.

i have been diagnosed with anorexia, MDD (depression), and GAD (anxiety). also a few others but those are mostly unimportant lol. so yes, i am mentally ill lol

some of my hobbies are singing, hanging with siblings and friends, bakinggg, reading, scuba diving, and procrastinating :)

if i go poof at any time, you can most likely blame my parents lol

and now, just a few things about my blog...

first of all, i would just like to say that although this account has always been my safe space and was an €d account (never pro), i am now trying to better my health

THIS IS YOUR WARNING! i may have content involving €ds, SH, depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses

i am NOT pro €d in any way, shape, or form. i may post about my struggles with my €d and trying to get through “recovery”, i may repost my friend’s mental health posts, i may sometimes have triggering content on my blog (will always be TWed). i do not and have never supported €ds.

everything i post is to vent or to cope, and to help others cope. any food, workout plan, or health related post i make is about my recovery from a condition i have.

i am entirely pro recovery, and if i ever use humor, i am a mentally ill queer. sorry. it also is just helping myself and others feel comfortable and have a safe space to discuss their disorders. 

i see how incredibly awful it is to have mental illnesses, having a few myself, and i would not wish any pain on ANYONE. i will never ever ever ever encourage €d behavior or SH or anything harmful to one’s mind or body.

IF YOU ARE EVER TRIGGERED BY SOMETHING ON MY ACCOUNT OR ARE NOT PART OF THE MENTALLY ILL/€D COMMUNITY, OR ARE IN RECOVERY, BLOCK, DONT REPORT, MY ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. 

if you are pro ed, also block my account :) and rethink your actions please

i would just like to add, this is truly my only vent space and does help me cope with my mental illnesses as i live with people who are homophobic, of a religion different than mine, and do not want to help me in ways that will actually help. please please please block, dont report. if you have an issue with me or my blog, you are welcome to talk to me about my content before you continue with any action. id gladly speak to anyone about my content and i will listen to anything being said :)

anyways, i promise im a friendly person and i would love love love to be friends! dm me anytime and ask to talk about anything :) or lmk if you need any help at all, or would like to vent or anythinggg, im always here! 

love u all, stay safe <333

p.s. my backup is @kermit-mentality :))

my tags:

#kermiecooks for my low cal recipes and posts

#kermiebakes for my baking stuff :) love to bake

#mealsforkermie for meal ideas that i like :)

(for me) #for kermit to remember later

[daringbutstupid]

||Cute shit bucky does just because||

A/N: This isn't the only headcanons I do I promise but While I was working on my other writings I had the idea to this for bucky too and I could not stop myself. And I'm not sorry. I don't know why I didn't this sooner lol, happy reading!

Bucky likes hearing you sing. It didn't matter whether you were singing to yourself he will sit there and listen because you're actually embarrassed to sing around him. But when it's been long day or he has just come back from a mission he'll come up and hug you or have you sit on his lap and ask you to sing for him to help him calm down and of course you can't say no to that

There's a lot of teasing and playful banter between you two and that's fun and all, but for some damn reason when ever he flirts with you any thought you had in that pretty head of yours is out the damn window. He loves to tease you like fuck. He can't help but grin when he sees you become shy and quiet. It just encourages him more so he'll com up close and wrap his arms around you, lowering his voice and whispering sweet nothings to you.

If he really wants a reaction out of you he'll call you his pretty girl, or his baby, and tells you he'll give you a real reason to blush as he runs his hands down to your waist.

He's not gonna tell you but seeing you so flustered is a bit of a turn on.

a big one actually. little shit.

Bucky lets you wear his dog tags when he's away. Yes you could always wear a shirt or a sweater of his but you get all giddy when you wear them and he likes making his best girl happy. When he has them on you're always playing with them and it's absolutely adorable. He loves seeing you wear them when you guys are doing the dirty btw.

That's hot ngl

Bucky always want's to take care of you and makes sure that you're okay, if there's anything you need he'll do it for you. You have your bad days where you just don't have the energy to get up to anything. You just feel down and mentally/emotionally drained and it hurts him to see you like that. He understands though and would never judge you for it. You could tell him you're fine as much as you want but he's gonna be there for regardless. He'll listen to you vent if you need to, hold you and comfort you while you let out broken sobs.

After the come down he does his best to get you out the dark headspace with coping mechanisms he had learned to help himself before and has learned others just incase those didn't work for you. He'll give you space even if needed.

He wants to be there for you just as much as you are for him.

Face time calls are a frequent thing when he's gone because he has a hard time sleeping without you sometimes so he calls you. Hearing your voice alone isn't enough.

When you guys are out and about bucky can't help but become a little protective so he's always holding your hand or staying close. He'll pretty much death glare anyone that looks at you funny. Like he's used to the strange looks he'll get here and there but if someone stares at you for a minute too long he ain't happy.

There's some nights where can't sleep or wake up too early so you find yourself in the living room cuddled up with a blanket watching tv but when bucky starts tossing and turning and tries to cuddle you he'll wake up noticing you're not there so he'll get up to be with you or bring you back to bed.

Bucky's favorite sound is the sound of your laughter. besides the sounds you make in bed. He's a little clumsy so a mistake here and there gets a cute laugh or giggle out of you. He does get a bit embarrassed but he doesn't really mind if means he gets to see you happy. He'll make a fool out of himself any day. Oh! he'll even try to find videos he thinks you'll find funny and send them to you just to hear you laugh.

If you snort that's a plus.

He'll spoil you with gifts and you've tried to tell him that he doesn't have to but he'll tell you to zip it because you deserve it.

Bucky just wants to show you that he cherishes you and loves you.

Let him do that please.

🥀Hope you enjoyed! Here's the link to steve's headcanons if you haven't read them (I wrote these before I switched my blogs around). Much love to you🥀

[hekateinhell]

Lestat next episode “she’s poisoning you against me”…..He beat Louis nearly to death and dropped him from the gotdamn sky, he poisoned himself. Nice to know though that Lestat considers it to be the equivalent of throwing a dish and doesn’t see what the big deal is. Lestat’s dumb but not this stupid. Not sure what the writers are trying to do here because even after seeing Louis’ broken and mangled body he doesn’t even blink and the preview makes it sound as though he doesn’t even feel real remorse. Lestat’s a vicious little gremlin but you get the sense he truly loves Louis and Claudia and would never actually truly harm them, he wants them to stay so badly and I think even he would know that something like this is a point of no return. This Lestat has no love for Claudia and is just obsessed with Louis in the worst way possible. I’m sad cause I love the characters, I love the actors and this all just felt so OOC. Also, people saying Lestat’s actions are just as bad as when Claudia tries to kill Lestat 🥲

Sorry I know you don’t watch the show but I had to vent lol

Actually I do, because I'm a fucking masochist. I AM done after today though.

I wanted to like it! Genuinely, I wanted to be proven wrong and I wanted to be having a good time along with three-fourths of fandom! Every week I would watch with my friends and wonder what's wrong with me, what am I not getting? I WANTED TO HAVE FUN TOO GODDAMN IT.

Didn't help that you got outright bullied for expressing the slightest bit of criticism around here lmao maybe that's what gave the impression that I don't watch it, since I did not have anything nice to say at all. I tried making my own tag so people could just block THAT and I wouldn't be raining on anyone's parade, but it doesn't stop those who are committed to creeping on your page (hi babes) so ANYWAY

I mean... I AGREE. And I never saw Lestat in Samstat, and given how he swung in like Homelander in Episode 1, I just felt... but then also like... I DIDN'T WANT THIS!!! I still haven't regained full coherency as you can see, I'm gonna need 3-5 business days at least.

Because Lestat did never and Lestat would never. I've said it many times with great affection: Lestat's an idiot but he ain't stupid.

This quote has been going around today, and I've been carrying it too to comfort my Loustat friends because the girlies are hurting in a bad, bad way (and tbh so am I):

Yet I couldn't hurt him. I couldn't even conceive of carrying out such awful, cowardly threats. I could never have brought harm to Claudia. Ah, to make something out of nothing, yes. To throw up the pieces to see how they will fall, yes. But vengeance. Ah, arid awful distasteful vengeance. What is it to me? ~ Lestat, TotBT

I can't envision AMC Hannibal/Homelander-Lestat as either IWTV-Lestat or TVL-onward Lestat. Plain and simple--it is an OC. They all are.

Even if AMC retcons it by the next episode, I just don't see any editorial justification for that to have happened on-screen without content warnings (yeah, I'm not going to let this one go). 

We talk about exposition and the art of a narrative a lot and not to sound ignorant but... RJ, BRUH. I don't blame the actors! Actors don't make the decisions on set and Sam, Jacob, and Bailey killed it with what they were given. And I have given them their props since day one.

IDK I'm sorry for anyone who got hurt today, honestly! The Doctor prescribes reading your favourite hurt/comfort fics and scrolling through your emotional support fan artists. ♥️

[sincerelyella]

My Person (Liam x MC)

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Song Inspiration: My Person by Spencer Crandall

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella) Summary: A one shot of my favorite couple - it’s Liam and Ella’s anniversary and there are big plans in store.

A/N: Okay, I’m gonna be very honest, I am super nervous about posting again. I wrote this maybe last week and kind of finished it earlier today. Thank you to those that I vented to about actually posting my stories, not sure why I feel really sick right now. New blog name (used to be @callmeellabella), new post LOL and I didn’t really know who to tag since it’s been a long time so I’m using my old list. Please let me know if you want off.

A/N2: Participating in @wackydrabbles​ this week. Prompt will be in bold.

Thank you @alyssalauren​ and @ofpixelsandscribbles​ for reading through this for me and kind of handing me that invisible paper bag for me to breathe in. Love y'all!

Warnings: Fluffs. A lot of fluffs.

Words: 1658

Isaiah and Noelle grinned as they filmed their parents in the seat in front of them, holding hands. After 15 years of marriage, Liam and Ella were the epitome of the best partners to each other and parents to their children. There were rough times, of course, you can’t escape those, but the King and Queen handled things in stride.

Noelle’s eyes filled with tears when she watched her dad lift her mom’s hand to his mouth and kiss her knuckles. The way he looked at Ella, like she was the only woman in the world, made Noelle have very high standards for a future partner for herself.

Isaiah grew up knowing how you were supposed to treat a woman, and it was all modeled from how his dad treated his mom. At 15 years old, he grew up in the public eye, but thankfully, his parents allowed him to have a normal childhood. The only time there was mention of royalty was a gala or a ball held at the palace; his Uncle Leo, Max, and Drake as well as his Aunt Olivia and parents all dressed up.

It was their parent’s anniversary that day and Liam had planned a family dinner, just the four of them.

One week ago

“Hey guys,” Liam smiled as he watched his kids sitting at the kitchen island doing homework.

“Hey, dad.” “Hi, daddy.”

Liam hung his keys on the wall by the door and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Next week is mine and your mother’s anniversary.”

Noelle and Isaiah stopped what they were doing and met their father’s gaze.

“I … was hoping you could help me with something,” his brows rounded as he stared at them.

“Sure, what did you need?” Noelle asked.

Isaiah chewed his bottom lip. “No pranks though, right dad?”

Liam chuckled, remembering that anniversary and how it went … so wrong. “No, son. No pranks. Plus, your Uncle Maxwell is not invited until later.”

Present-day

“Guys, we’re here,” Liam turned to Noelle and Isaiah and widened his eyes at them, the two nodding back with small smiles. Ella missed the entire silent exchange as she climbed out of the black SUV after Bastien opened her door.

Everyone piled into the restaurant, all of them laughed and cried as the kids asked for a cake to be presented to their parents to celebrate their special day.

“How beautiful,” Ella wiped her tears away as she gazed at the red velvet bundt cake covered in cream cheese frosting. “Was this your doing?” She turned to her husband as he smiled.

“No, love, that was them,” he gestured towards Noelle and Isaiah.

“Thank you,” she used a tissue to dab at both her eyes.

“Fifteen years is a long time to be married, ma,” Isaiah dimpled as he looked from his mom to his dad. “Now hurry up and eat it so that we can have a piece!”

The family laughed and dug into the cake. An hour later, they slowly stood from the table, grumbling about how full they were.

“Oh God, why didn’t you stop me?” Isaiah smacked his sister in the arm.

Noelle glared at her brother and punched him in the arm. “It’s not my fault you ate like you never saw food before.”

“Why did you say that?” Isaiah whined.

Liam and Ella walked behind their children, smirking at each other.

“They’re so dramatic,” Ella snorted.

“Wonder who they got that from?” Liam arched a brow at his wife.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Your Majesty.”

“Love,” Liam waited until she turned to look at him. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Where? What is it?”

“Come on,” he tugged on her hand and led her out of the restaurant and into the waiting SUV.

“Where are we going?”

“Ma, just wait, we’ll get there in a minute,” Noelle giggled in the back seat.

“You guys know too?” Ella looked from her son to her daughter and back again. “Liam?”

“Just relax, love, we’ll be there soon,” he squeezed her hand and laughed as her nose wrinkled in annoyance.

A few minutes later, Bastien turned into a small, private area for vehicles to park. “We’re here,” he said and turned to smirk at Ella. “Your Majesty, we’re going to blindfold you.”

“You’re … what?!”

Isaiah cackled as he leaned forward to wrap a scarf around his mother’s eyes.

“That’s blocking my nose,” Ella complained. “I can’t breathe.”

“You can breathe out of your mouth.”

“Isaiah Alexander,” she said sternly and he jumped.

“Sorry mom,” he mumbled as he fixed the scarf so it only covered her eyes.

“Okay,” Liam opened the door to her side of the SUV. “Come on, love, I’m carrying you to our destination.”

Ella let out a long sigh and reached up to feel her husband’s neck. She allowed him to carry her bridal style to … wherever they were going. When her family got like this it was usually because of her husband, who loved to take her places to surprise her. She didn’t mind, honestly, but it was annoying when everyone was in on it except for her.

“We’re almost there, love, I promise,” she felt Liam kiss the top of her head and she snuggled into his shoulder.

“Hey, I got a picture from Uncle Max!” Noelle opened the message and gasped.

Isaiah reached for his sister’s phone. “Is it another picture of him and his peacock Lady and the Tramping some spaghetti?”

Everyone began to laugh.

“I can’t believe that damn thing didn’t peck his eye out,” Ella snorted.

“That thing still scares the crap out of me,” Noelle said as her fingers flew over the keys. 

“We’re here,” Liam smiled as he began to step down onto the large rocks towards the private beach.

“Don’t drop me, Liam,” Ella said as she lifted her nose to the air. “I smell the ocean.” She felt her husband lower her to the ground. “What now? I’m still wearing this.”

A moment of silence and some giggling in the distance made Ella furrow her brows.

“Okay, take off the scarf, love.”

Ella quickly undid the knot and opened her eyes; she faced the ocean. “Liam, what-”

“Turn around.”

As she did, she saw her husband on one knee, her children behind him in the distance carrying an old 1989 boombox, the song My Person by Spencer Crandall playing.

I was lookin' for a long time

I never found nobody like you

I got your name, got your number

And we talked 'til they turned on the lights

“A boombox?”

Liam smirked. “You made me watch Sixteen Candles.”

“Oh yeah,” she chuckled. “Liam,” Ella had tears streaming down her face and she wiped them away quickly. “Wh-what is this?”

He took hold of her free hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles. “Love, it’s our fifteenth wedding anniversary. We married that long ago.”

She nodded, the lump on her throat making it difficult for her to speak.

“But we were together before that,” he smiled up at her. “I met you and I was done for, I haven't looked at anyone else since. You came to my social season, I chose you, we were engaged for a year, and then here we are.”

My person

My heartbeat

My slow dance

My Sunday-morning-sippin'-on-coffee in bed

My know-when-you-know best friend

“You’re my person,” Liam bit his bottom lip to control his emotions. “You and the kids are my everything, and you know I’d give all this up for you if you asked.”

“We don’t want that though!” Noelle yelled and they all laughed.

“Ella Brooks Rys, I wanted to ask you if you would remarry me,” he reached into his pocket, pulled out a black velvet box, and opened it. “Renew our vows and our commitment to each other.”

The box held three rings, an emerald-shaped, 6-carat diamond solitaire in the middle, and one plain platinum band on each side of it. One was engraved with Isaiah Alexander and the other with Noelle Marie.

“Of course,” Ella choked out as Liam smiled and the kids jumped up and down.

My saving grace, my everything

I’ve never been more sure that you’re my person

Every minute is a long time

If I ain’t holding on to you

Liam pushed all three rings onto her finger. “You ready, Mrs. Rys?”

“I am, Mr. Rys,” she pulled her husband to her and captured his lips in a passionate kiss.

“Ew, gross!” “Stop! This is not part of the plan!”

“Congratulations!”

Ella was surprised by that last one and turned towards the sound. All of their friends and family were there on the beach, smiling at them.

“What are-”

“You guys are renewing your vows!” Leo hollered and lifted a bottle of champagne in the air. “Let’s get this going so we can get druuuunk!”

“Leo!” Liam snapped at his brother.

“I mean, I’m ready when you are.”

Hana and Olivia rushed towards Ella and hugged her. “Were you surprised?”

“I was,” Ella sniffled. “You guys all knew?”

“Yup!”

“My little blossom! You are so beautiful! Let me see the rings!”

Ella gave Max her left hand.

“Whatever you do, don’t let Beaumont touch it. I’m sure he’s got lasagna all under his fingernails,” Drake chuckled as he approached the group.

“Hey marshmallow,” Ella turned to hug him. “And you guys had lasagna without me?”

Liam laughed and put an arm around Noelle and Isaiah. “You guys ready?”

They both nodded.

“I’m ready to marry your mother again,” they all laughed as Ella put her arm around Isaiah. “Let’s go!”

My saving grace, my everything

I've never been more sure that you're my person

Yeah, baby, you're my person

[nompunhere]

putting this under a cut because it’s a long post. also because I put some tv show/movie/etc titles in there and I don’t wanna make this seem less, I dunno, genuine I guess, by interrupting it with awkward slashes to keep non-vore people from stumbling across it

“hey uh so you remember how in the vent channel on the old server a while back I was talking about how I have a ‘special interest’ I’ve never told anyone about? I trust you. a lot. you’re a really great friend, and I know you wouldn’t judge me, or tell anyone if I weren’t okay with it, so. I’m trusting you with this I just really don’t like keeping secrets, y’know? and before I say what it is, I just wanna reiterate that though a lot of people who know about it see it as strictly a sexual thing, I don’t see it that way at all. it’s a comfort for me. just a weird fascination, and... yeah. okay. here goes. it’s ... it’s vore. I like vore. I know it’s weird, and gross, and ‘why would anyone ever wanna be eaten’ but I just. I find comfort in the thought of it. I find comfort in the thought of being so close to someone, being inside of another living body, wrapped entirely in a caring embrace, like the most thorough hug you’ve ever had. Hidden away from the world, no responsibilities, just a safe, dark, warm place to sleep or hang out in for a while sorry, that’s weird, but, heh, I mean, the whole thing’s gonna be weird, right? it’s- it’s vore, I- and I know it doesn’t make any logical sense, like it’d be physically impossible and all that, and obviously it wouldn’t be safe, but as some of us in the community say, ‘it’s my fantasy and I picture it how I want’ I only like it in a certain way. ‘safe soft nonsexual g/t vore.’ it means no harm comes to the, ahem, prey, and it happens in a way that my brain accepts as suitably ‘realistic,’ despite. y’know. all of the many things that make it unrealistic, lol I know I’ve had a fascination with the concept since I was little. like, you know the Where the Wild Things Are movie? came out in like, late 2000s, early 2010s? (edit: google says 2009. wack) the only scene I really remember from it is the one where one of the monsters, uh, eats the kid to protect him I think I remember thinking about that scene for quite a long time after seeing the movie. there were other times like that too, like in a certain few episodes of Magic School Bus, or an episode of Adventure Time. I’d spend a while thinking about them in bed while waiting to fall asleep. sometimes I’d stare at this weird thing I had by my bad that kinda looked like a face and pretend it was threatening to eat me, heheh where was I going with this oh yeah, I wanted to talk about the community. I talked a little bit about it in my first few posts about how I have a ‘special interest,’ and since I’m already rambling so much, I wanted to talk about it more. back when I was about 13 or so, maybe younger, I had a general idea of what vore was. on some level, I realized that I was ‘into it’ when I was younger, since I knew it couldn’t be normal to be so fascinated with those scenes I brought up. I had that understanding in like, a joking way though, because like what seems like most of the internet, I didn’t take vore seriously, and thought it was just a weird kink. I’m pretty sure by that time I already thought of myself as asexual. when I was 15, like about 3-5 months after my birthday, I stumbled across a vore fic. I was looking through the profile of one of my favorite Ao3 fic writers at the time, and in their gifted fics, I saw one with ‘[vore]’ in the title, and ‘safe vore,’ ‘soft vore,’ and I think ‘nonsexual vore’ in the tags. out of sheer curiosity, I read it. it took a lot of hesitation before I finally clicked it, and I went in knowing that vore wasn’t a generally respected thing, and I ‘was into it when I was younger’ but I had never really grown out of that weird fascination, I just grew to understand that it was ‘weird’ and that there was a name for it ah shoot there I go again, going into way more detail than necessary lmao anyway, I read the fic, just out of curiosity, and to see if I was really, actually into vore. I... very much was. I reread the fic. Then I read more by the same author. after a long while (or what felt like it, anyway), I read more by different authors, with different kinds, and for different fandoms. it took a long time of experimenting, reading a bunch of fics that I really wish I hadn’t read, and finding some actually well-written stuff to figure out what I liked and what I didn’t eventually- oh yeah I meant to talk about the community whoops this is what I get for running out of adhd meds at some point, I don’t really remember when, I started looking for more content on tumblr. it was there that I found the community, that I learned that I’m really not alone in having this interest in this way. there’s a lot of conflict and toxicity in parts of the vore community, but that’s how it is for most of tumblr, so I mean there’s also a lot of good people there, though. people who just want to share their interests and have a good time talking about it with others, like any other interest, but more secretive. man, you didn’t come here for an essay, sorry about that I feel like there was something else in particular I wanted to say. oh well. anyway thanks for listening, or well, reading I guess. I hope this doesn’t make you think any less of me, though knowing you, I’m sure it won’t. I just, really needed to get this off my chest, y’know? I have so many things to talk about with it (see above) and I never get to do so with anyone I know. I don’t,, expect you to do anything with this knowledge, I guess? but I just wanna know that there’s someone I don’t have to hide it from. oh yeah I was gonna mention my tumblr blog I have over 50 followers. that’s over 50 people who like my content. they like the stuff that I make, heheh. they like my vore content, at that. that’s 50+ people who like reading what I have to write or looking at what I have to draw about. well, you know. anyway, wild I’m not gonna share the name of my blog unless you really want it, which I don’t know why you would? but I’d trust you with that again, thanks for letting me tell you all this. sorry it’s weird, but I really do appreciate having someone I can be my whole entire self around. it’s so freeing. Thank you.”

**********************************

I wish I had the courage to do that.

I really didn’t mean to write that much. I really hope no one I know ever finds this, at least, not until I’m ready to show them or something.

It’s probably not how I’d phrase it to my actual friend(s). At some point it got away from me, and I kinda lost the “chat log/DM” thing I was going for.

this is more of a journal entry at this point, and really, it felt so nice to write. all those thoughts were clouding up my mind and now they’re finally written down somewhere in a semi-organized fashion. maybe I should journal more often lol. probably not on tumblr though

uh. DNI NSFW blogs and all that, I guess. dunno why you’d interact with a post like this, but it still stands.

[spiritofalltheforests]

I was tagged by @goldensparrows

Name/nickname: ameh/ames/amylynn

Gender: female

Star sign: sagittarius (idk anything else)

Height: 5'3 

Time:  3:55 pm ct

Favorite bands: foster the people, ninja sex party, paramore, sunset rollercoaster.

Favorite solo artists: amber mark, gia ford, benee, the japanese house, DAISY, kehlani---i listen to a lotttt of solo artists.

Song stuck in my head: right now- only because i typed it- love me right by amber mark. but in general it’s almost always a tiktok song rip

Last movie: probably Zack Snyder’s Justice League. I havent watched a movie besides that in ages.

Last show: omg i’ve been on a binging rampage; Insecure, genera+ion, nora from queens, betty, a black lady sketch show, made for love, and moree.

When I made this blog: november 2014, sorry I wasn’t an og :’(

What I post: i reblog mostly memes. i separate blogs for venting/politics/aesthetics. 

Last thing I googled: HBO max so i could remember all the shows i watch lol

Other blogs: @colors-in-my-world is my aesthetic blog, @colorguardisalifechoice is my somewhat popular colorguard blog loll. my vent blog is private sorry.

Do I get asks: not really! i dont have too many followers/interact with anyone on here really soooo~

Why I :chose my url: its an inside joke with a friend from middle school, we were obsessed with this one kdrama, i couldnt get the exact reference as my url but its close enough.

Following: 209

Followers: 273

Average hours of sleep: sleep is important to me so i avg between 7-11 hours

Luck number: 7, always has been always will be

Instruments: i play the piano a bit, i was in choir for 9 years

What am I wearing rn: floral pajama top because I just woke up. adidas pants bc comfty,

Dream trip: i would love to go to glasgow in scotland or visit places in asia. 

Favorite food: hmmmm i have a big sweet tooth so anything sweeettt. i love sesame tofu or sushi.

Nationality: hwhite

Current favorite song: i dont have a favorite rn but i keep looking up fan enamorada by CNCO so lets go with that. 

Last book I read: home body by rupi kaur; im not a big reader but when i do read it’s always poetry!

Top 3 fictional universes: :o? 

Favorite color: i love so many; maroon, yellow, orange

tagging: don’t feel you have to! @dara-of-qui-zi @whiteskinnedblackgirl @mysticallymindfucked just tagging people i follow!

[erin-epica]

Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.

[selfcareparker]

LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)