warnings: angst, anxiety, anger, comfort, arguing, crying, lmk if i missed any
summary: rafe and reader are in love, but rafe struggles to accept it, he doesnt believe in love.
part one
rafe cameron x female reader.
you had fallen for rafe, hard. it started off with stealing glances at each other every so often, then it escalated to him asking for your number. you two talked every night, dusk til dawn until you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore. you were the only person he was gentle with, the only one he would give affection to, and even crack a smile with.
he caught himself re-reading your texts and smiling at them, going through your insta posts, checking your following, checking your location, and checking when you were last online.
he thought he just needed a quick hookup, and that was all. but no. the way you smile at him and your dimple pokes through your cheek, or maybe its the way your eyes light up when your excited about something.
he doesnt know what it is, but he cant fall in love. your not important, its just all in his head.
he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands as he thinks, he regains his composure, shaking his head to try and get rid of the thought. he lets out a long breath, and he stands up. he goes to smoke some weed.
he stops answering your calls, and even stops responding all together. he cant fall in love, he's not fit for a relationship. right?
your a mess. you'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt the way that he ghosted you out of nowhere. but i mean you cant be mad, because your still just a hookup for him. right?
i mean you thought it'd be different because hes never met up with a girl more than once, you guys have even been on real dates. not just the ones where you have sex and not talk for another 2 weeks. you two had gotten to really know each other.
you were just confused, and hurt. you decided you were gonna try to let it go. try and move on, because theres always other men out there.
~
2 weeks pass
you were at home laying in your bed, you just had on a comfy tee shirt, and some yoga shorts.
you had been scrolling thru your phone, giggling at a video you seen on tiktok. you clicked on the comments and scrolled thru them, and you were giggling until a message popped up at the top of your screen. from rafe; your smile faintly drops as you click on the message
-
imessage:
rafe: been thinking about you. um, im really sorry for ditchin you n' shit. i just been going thru stuff and didnt wanna take it out on you. im sorry alright?
y/n: its okay rafe, i understand. call if you need anything. okay?
you were so understanding, and forgiving. even with the half ass apology he gave you, you still forgave him.
-
over the next few weeks, you and rafe start going out again, he fell more and more in love with you, and you felt the same about him. he had enough of it. he couldnt be falling for you.
he was high off drugs, and his breath reeked of alcohol. he was stumbling and could barely walk. there were crowds of people around him at the party he attended to.
you had also been there with rafe, but went off somewhere with kiara and sarah. you decided the topic of conversation was boring, and excused yourself with a "ill be right back." and went to find him.
he had went off into a room with some random chick, they were making out and her clothes were half off. you had almost stumbled on your feet when you walked in, your eyes had immediately began brimming with tears. to save yourself the embarrassment you walk off, quickly as possible. trying to get the hell out of there.
rafe comes outside to where you had walked off to, he immediately catches up to you since his legs were longer, and grabs your arm "whats your problem..why are you crying?" he says, trying not to slur his words
you decide, fuck it. he doesnt care anyway. "your my problem rafe. i fucking love you, i have for a long time. and you lead me on and act like you love me the same way, but then i find you about to hookup with some random girl, that you dont even know! like i dont even exist rafe, and im gonna be honest. that shit HURTS! im so sick of this, im sick of you, and your bullshit excuses, your half ass apologies. FUCK YOU!"
rafe feels a pang of guilt in his chest, even thru the alcohol and drugs. he still manages to muster up some excuse, hes trying to hide the way he feels. "i mean..y/n. what did you expect? i told you what the hell u were gettin into. i dont gain.. feelings. so quit being a damn crybaby"
it starts to rain, and you storm off, even when he yells your name, telling u to come back you dont listen. you kick your heels off, and walk all the way home in the pouring rain.
once u get home, you delete his number, and cry yourself to sleep.
he tries to act as if he doesnt care, he drinks until he passes out.
Would you ever do a lesson on raceswapping characters in fandom? I think prioritizing original and canon Black characters is more important of course, and tbh most of your lessons already apply when writing ANY Black character...I'm just tired of the constant influx of antiBlackness from the pro- and anti-raceswapping people. People who hate it are usually racists who don't want the sanctity of their whiteness challenged, but I've noticed in fandoms that embrace raceswapping more liberally (usually also by white people who think they're progressive for drawing a canon white character with a paint bucket tan and then claim they're a part of some unnamed diaspora in their headcanon) can get very racist very quickly. Ever notice how in some fandoms a white ship will race swap a character to be ambiguously brown and of ambiguous ethnicity, only to make them physically bigger, aggressive, flirty, dominant than they are even in canon? I've seen it happen to characters that are actively characterized as shy/quiet in canon, as soon as you slap on the digital blackface, the whole personality changes in fandom. And even then, people are allergic to specifically BLACK headcanons. So I debate with myself if raceswapping should even be entertained in fandom, especially by white people. At the same time, I've carved spaces for myself with my Black headcanons for characters I know are ambiguously white in canon/race not named but implicitly defaulted to white. This was in a time where there were less Black characters in general, but even now that we have a handful of great stories, they are still talked about so much less, with less content, and even shafted within the canon they come from. I think telling people to just find/create canon Black characters to love is only part of the solution and feels dismissive sometimes (this is not targeted at you), though I agree that it is important to do that also. Most important, even. Sorry for the length of the ask, just something been on my mind and wondered your opinion.
I got a little overwhelmed by the writing of this question, so I'm going to try to break it down to see if I'm understanding you:
What it sounds like you're saying is that when people headcanon a character as Black, they tend to still be racist about it? And this is specifically based on how they make the characters they've headcanoned stereotypical traits, such as aggressive and overly sexual?
And then, you're unsure if you even want characters to undergo this change, specifically by white fans, due to this racism?
I'm a little confused by the end, but it might help me by asking this: what is your solution to the rest of the problem? Like what do you think is the rest of the solution, since you said it's only part of it?
To be honest, I'm not going to take the pleasure of the melanin beam away from myself just because nonblack people can't not be racist. I don't think that's fair to me that I shouldn't experience something I like just bc they can't act right about my existence as a human being. That's a THEM problem! But that's me 🙌🏾 I can understand if there are people that don't do it.
As for what you've said here about the racism itself, you are right. It's part of how Black people are perceived, that they do this. Part of me feels like I already addressed some of these things in all three of the stereotype lessons, just bc people need to see what pre-existing biases- whether they mean them or not- they have in order to know why they're treating these characters this way. How no one can be normal about a Black character being normal lol.
However, I can understand how there could be a more overt, to the point illustration of how the change happens. So that change from their canon characteristics to "aggressive". I'm not sure if it would require an entire lesson on the topic, but I could make a mini lesson on what's occurring. I'd probably just use a visual like I did for the latest lesson (which also addressed the brown bucket character).
there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
I've recently made a post talking about how Alastor is aroace and that should be respected and I've gotten a lot of comments saying that he is not real and it doesn't matter what you do with fiction. While this may be true to a certain extent. You should still respect canon sexualities, because those sexualities are representation and it should not be removed or disregarded.
okay on another related topic, the parable being this very much living thing that acts on its own accord very often in the game. there are characters that can directly control or alter the game/parable, but then the parable can do just as much itself when there's no one taking the reigns. and it will, it very much will do what it needs to do to keep the wheel turning. just something fun to interpret and stew on..
This may be a strange question but have you ever been bullied in the tbhk fandom? I am having a hard time here
Heya no worries at all for the question! This is an important thing and if you needed to have a place to say it I am happy you did!
I really hope people will be nicer to you :// There is never a good reason for bullying unfortunately it happens a lot on internet QvQ my only advice would be to block those people and/or delete anonymous asks for a while if people are just putting stuff as anonymous :///
To answer your questions, idk if it counts as bullying but I was the target of some stuff like that yep, and tbh I don't really know why. People can have the opinions they want but I will be honest in the tbhk fandom you like a character or a ship that is not 'what everyone in the fandom should like' and people start menacing you for no reason.
A lot of people in this fandom are kids who sometimes don't get what insulting people do. (and not only kids but it is one of the reason, I feel like a lot don't have 'internet basis' like not saying everything about yourself on twitter help.)
Which is also one of the reason I am taking my distances with anyone in this fandom because I had too many unwanted stuff like when I was just trying to be nice and answer messages. It's not because we are in the same fandom that we are bffs.
This is sad to say but yes I don't think you can just have fun 'fun' in this fandom anymore, people will make sure you have a hard time for no reason and honestly I am tired of people who are unable to understand that we aren't just bots on the internet and that Surprise! people have feelings wow
I hope you will be better but don't hesitate to take some time off the fandom a bit ^^ I am being overly dramatic here because I had some bad experiences (I've been in the fandom since the start of 2020 so welp) but a lot of people are really nice and I am sure you can make some friends too ^^ (I did too! even if a lot aren't in the fandom anymore, it's nice seeing mutuals from far away doing their lives)
oh thank god ppl aren’t crucifying me for saying i like it better that darry dropped out of school over just not going at all i feel so vindicated. i think it makes sm more sense for his character and—-
HIIIIIIII BONES what faction(s) does tiberius join? and which companions is he closest with? :]
HIII EZRA THANK YOU SO MUCH :] this got insanely long because i have. so much to say about this game it's unreal i'm very sorry in advance. but hope you enjoy ^_^
so in my canon of fallout 4, there's a couple of things different from the game because i personally don't think of tiberius as a leader in any sort of way, mainly because he's like. 23 years old. that's a literal baby. he was only born yesterday fresh out of the freezer
so!! that means that the minutemen are already very much established in the commonwealth again when he emerges from the vault, and there's a lot of sprawling settlements to be found in places where you'd otherwise have to build them yourself in game; so sanctuary isn't abandoned at all, and tiberius returns to his sister's home with a special surprise waiting for him (every other house in the neighborhood is now home to a bunch of strangers centuries into the future! welcome home boy!)
that said, tiberius DOES end up sort of joining the minutemen?? but not officially. he meets preston in sanctuary who helps him get settled in in this new and strange world and in return to show his gratitude tiberius helps out wherever and whenever he can, but considering the path of revenge he's about to go on he doesn't really consider himself good enough of a person to like. fully be part of it if that makes sense?? especially since the minutemen aim for as much peaceful resolution of things as possible, and he is not like that :(
tiberius massively dislikes diamond city, and feels a lot more at home in goodneighbor. he does some mercenary work there for a while and that's also how he ends up with the railroad, which he Does officially join :] a bunch of my other fallout ocs are also railroad agents; max, who's also general of the minutemen (don't ask how she finds the time to juggle all these different jobs she doesn't know it herself either); magnus, who's a goodneighbor guard; and nikolai, an ex-raider who now does a bunch of stealth operations for the railroad. tiberius takes his job as agent very seriously and through his new connections becomes more involved with the minutemen as well, now that he knows the two work together to give escaped synths a new and safe home and such :]
he does NOT join the brotherhood of steel. he hates them so fucking much it's unreal. to him they're literally just invading the commonwealth with the way they're terrorizing settlements and forcibly establishing their own outposts and whatnot and it causes a lot of chaos everywhere which is NOT ideal at all. max is handling most of the situation but she's clearly under a lot of pressure and it makes tiberius want to blow some shit up. which he eventually does when everything has escalated so far that there's not really another way to deal with it anymore
he only joins the institute to infiltrate them for the railroad, and he is NOT having a good time during it. he dislikes shaun (his nephew, not his son!) so fucking much but there's nothing he can do about it. i'm trying to make the institute a bit more interesting but it's still a work in progress because well the game leaves a lot to be desired on that front to me personally but either way, the whole place makes him super paranoid and he quickly realizes that it's a LOT bigger than what it's making itself out to be. the area he's allowed to be in seems just a little bit too well-organized and streamlined as if it's all pre-programmed and he constantly feels like he's being watched. which he is! because he ends up finding proof of a lot more levels that go much deeper into the ground and while a lot of them seem to be abandoned, he does end up finding evidence that there's more people holed up Somewhere. and they're watching everything that's happening in the area of the institute he's allowed to be in. it's all part of something bigger and he does NOT like that shit
lastly, tiberius ends up with the children of atom :] kind of against his will?? but also he's not really being forced to stay so it's kind of a gray area really. basically what happened is that he went to the glowing sea, ended up passing out because he went by himself like the stubborn mf he is and the children of atom take them to their crater to nurse him back to health but also give him like. some sort of special radiation cocktail of some sort which ends up making him a bit of a freak. much more resilient, much more absent as well, a bit faster than he used to be. he's basically their chosen one because i feel like out of all factions it'd make most sense for the children of atom to be weirdly obsessed with him like he's a perfectly preserved human from before the war. that IS kinda fascinating
either way tiberius doesn't really mind being part of them all that much because it puts him in like a negotiator position if that makes sense?? the other factions all have their other touching points where he isn't all that needed to create connections and stuff but having this extra connection with the children of atom who are mostly feared by the rest of the commonwealth helps a LOT with keeping peace and all that, so it's beneficial for all parties involved because it also means that tiberius can just freely enter any of their outposts and he can rely on them if he needs them for anything :] the children of atom are a lot more willing to assist him with something that may be a bit shady than the minutemen or railroad would basically so it's a good backup to have LMAO
as for companions, tiberius is closest with preston 100% :] when he emerged from the vault, preston was the first person who talked to him and didn't treat him as a possible threat, and he helped him get settled in which tiberius will always be grateful for because he was so so scared. and preston made everything a little bit easier. he's very caring and patient and matches tiberius' funnyman energy surprisingly well when they're joking around, which would all remind tiberius a lot of his sister stella. preston Would in fact be like a brother to him :]
he enjoys hanging out with piper and nick, but only sparingly so since those two just love to investigate stuff and a lot of their time hanging out ends up turning into business of some sort and tiberius does NOT have the detective's spirit! he likes being clueless. he does not always need to know everything. he does like tagging along but sometimes he just wants to SIT and have a beer or something
which, naturally so, makes hancock better company for him. tiberius did a couple of gigs for him personally (and got to know him much more intimately during a wild night with both him and magnus but we don't talk about that) and he likes to stop by goodneighbor regularly for a drink and to talk about shit that's been going on lately. since magnus and hancock are together, magnus is there a lot as well but tiberius sees him a lot more regularly at the railroad too :]
that being said, the railroad is definitely tiberius' main hub for hanging out with people he loves the gang SO much. his best friends there would be nikolai, glory (she's alive yes obviously), deacon, and tinker tom :] and also max but tiberius sees her a LOT more at the castle since that's by the end of the in-game events also a place he can be found at a lot. he doesn't take a lot of minutemen jobs but he does help out on location with whatever they need, plus the castle is a huge and busy marketplace which would be super fun to visit (especially at night) so he just likes hanging out there in general! that's also where he hangs out with cait and roxy (max' wife) whenever he gets the opportunity
tiberius' relationship with x6-88 is. strained. on a surface level he likes the guy, but his loyalty to the institute definitely gets in the way of their friendship a lot at first. i haven't entirely figured out yet how to like, get x6-88 on tiberius' side in a satisfying way that doesn't feel out of character for him?? but that's basically what i'm aiming for, because the two DO spend a lot of time together away from the institute itself which would give tiberius a lot of opportunities to show x6 what the commonwealth is really like. and what the institute's reputation is and all that. and with x6 getting attached to tiberius during all of that he WILL be forced to pick a side at the end of it all. and i personally don't think he would side against tiberius after spending all that time building up an actual friendship for the first time in his life
surprisingly enough, tiberius and maccready did NOT!!! get along well at first AT ALL. when tiberius was taking gigs in goodneighbor he was unbeknownst to him stealing away a lot of mac's clientele so naturally mac has very one-sided beef with him. especially because both of them are like. babies. i can't remember maccready's exact age but that's a baby. and tiberius is one too. and they're both competitive and kinda stupid so when they first "officially" meet there's this insane tension between the two of them and every conversation they have is just a pissing contest. they've been kicked out of goodneighbor together on at least one occasion because of their near screaming competitions
(at some point after the battle of bunker hill and tiberius has temporarily broken ties with the institute because shaun's attitude pissed him the fuck off he goes to goodneighbor with his friends and after a drink or two too many he agrees to a bet maccready makes with him about killing elder maxson. tiberius succeeds by knocking out a brotherhood pilot and pretending to be the pilot instead, sort of successfully flying a vertibird up to the prydwen, somehow knocking out a guy in full power armor to then steal said guy's power armor, killing elder maxson (who by then has committed enough war crimes including but not limited to laughing max in the face when she tried to talk to him about a possible collaboration in hopes to keep the peace in the commonwealth) with a pipe pistol, and then jumping down(!!!!!!!!!) in the power armor to make his escape by walking over the bottom of the ocean on the shoreline in the power armor. he brought the guy's coat and dogtags with him as proof. maccready was turned on and angry about it)
but after traveling together for a while, tiberius and maccready learn they have a lot more in common than they initially thought and they grow closer over time :] i adjusted mac's story as well by making lucy his older sister rather than his wife (HE'S A BABY. HE DOESN'T NEED A WIFE AND A CHILD IN THIS ECONOMY) and duncan his nephew, so it's still a direct parallel to tiberius' story except lucy is still alive but missing, whereas stella is in fact very much dead. at first it makes tiberius feel frustrated and upset in a very selfish way, but it helps him with like, allowing himself to grieve for the first time since he exited the vault which by then is a LONG time ago, and then it also helps him with moving on from it rather than staying stuck in the past. helping mac with curing duncan and finding lucy helps the both of them and after all that they end up getting together :]
SO YEAH. very bumpy road for tiberius all in all and he makes connections in a bunch of different places, but he's always just a gear in the machine rather than the one operating the machine if that makes sense :] he feels a lot more at ease when he can actually make a difference at his own pace rather than having everyone look up to him constantly, the closest he got to that was when he was the one to infiltrate the institute and he has NEVER been that stressed before in his life. he makes it out alive and relatively unharmed but good lord. he's never doing that shit ever again
Before I went to bed I saw the Youtube notif that TADC was going to Netflix and it INVADED my dreams so vividly I have not had such an episodic sequential serialized cohesive dream in months it was literally its own chapter its own short story
its finally luosty turns last but not least eh? his topic? cranky sasha 🤣🤣🤣 (whoever came up with these topics wanted to get sasha riled up oh my goddddd)
ofc the way he chooses to show off cranky sasha is through his spartan hockey huh and OF FUCKING COURSE he gets lundy to come up and help him because who else but lundy does sasha crack the good ole whip for IM DYING
he also makes sure to mime in the goal posts too so everyones on the same page that this is of course about hockey because this has turned into an improv exercise mama hes a star hes a THEATRE kid
luosty is very good at mimicing cranky sasha must have lots of time watching him get fussy with lundy huh i can imagine the only directions given to lundy here was act like yourself and somehow that makes this funnier
they absolutely both think luosty is the funniest fucker alive OH MY GOD HE GOT LUNDY TO SMILE (WHICH ISNT MUCH OF AN ACCOMPLISHMENT HES SO SMITTEN WITH HIM) BUT HE GOT MIKKSY TO GIVE A GOOD TOOTHY GRIN TOO LUOSTY WHAT POWERS DO YOU HAVE 😭😭😭😭
he has this whole couch bewitched by his antics oh my fucking god... kicking the bench...throwing the water bottle...cranky sasha indeed
THE WAGGING FINGER AT LUNDY hey man whyd you move your hand to your crotch did that incite any revelations in you do you need to cover something that had unfortunate timing huh do you understand why mikksy cant stand them do you understand now
on another episode of i genuinely dont think anyone else could do this and get sasha this giggly in the midst of it of making fun of him luosty has really charmed them all
hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️
omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately
i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother
that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have
(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)
anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that
Tang: "You're wrong. I know I'm not as strong as they are—I may still be searching for my purpose—but what I do know, is that doing it alone is not the path I'm destined to take. Deep in my heart, I know that my place is along side my friends. One day, I will become someone they can depend on, the way that I can always depend on them! As long as we stand together, there will always be hope!"
(3x08 Benched)
-
Curse MK: *laughs* "Seriously!? You still think we're just some, noodle delivery guy? You can't remember where we came from, and we got all this power—and you never once thought, why us? What are we? What is our purpose?"
-
SWK: "Only we deiced who we are and what we do with the power we have!"
Curse MK: "Nice hero speech bud—but I know better. Deep in your hearts, you don't believe a word of that.
"undyne was a cop in undertale" cold take. undyne was a soldier. they say multiple times that the royal guard exists because of the war and that when they don't have to fight humans the royal guard disbands. in the neutral pacifist ending the guard is disbanded because it's a tool of war with the humans, not of control over the monster populace.
there's plenty wrong with soldier being a profession and with standing armies in general and with keeping a populace in a state of constant cold war, but it's not the same things that are wrong with police, and the willingness of even Asgore (after the true pacifist ending) to disband the guard is a super positive sign.
Undyne cares deeply about the welfare and the freedom of monsterkind in a way that cops do not care about you. The fact that she doesn't in Deltarune is as much of a red flag as the fact that Toriel lets Kris' half of the room go empty or that Asgore doesn't remember that they don't like hugs or that Alphys prefers grim and joyless anime.